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For the longest time, I thought I needed to pick a lane.

One thing. One title. One neat little box that made sense when someone asked, “So, what do you do?”

And I have spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out what that one thing should be. Beauty? Pilates? Wellness? Content? Fashion? Business? Something creative? Something more serious? Something that gives me freedom? Something that makes money remotely?

Every time I thought I had finally figured it out, another part of me would start tapping me on the shoulder. I’d focus heavily on Pilates and suddenly miss beauty and fashion. I’d start thinking about going further into marketing and creative work and then miss having something that was mine. I’d convince myself I needed to niche down, become incredibly clear and make myself easy to understand.

And then I’d feel bored.

For a while, I thought this meant I was indecisive.

That I couldn’t commit.

That maybe everyone else had been given some secret handbook explaining exactly who they were supposed to become and mine had got lost in the post. But lately, I’ve started wondering if the problem isn’t that I’m interested in too many things. Maybe the problem is that I’ve spent years believing I’m only allowed to be known for one of them. I've built a cage for myself, social media has made us believe that we need to “niche down” and I just can't, and I'm sure many of you feel the exact same! But I've also let this belief consume me when I could have chosen to just say hmmm no I don’t subscribe to that idea.

There are so many things I love.

I love movement and the feeling of completing a Pilates class somehow standing a little taller than when I walked in.

I love beauty. Not because I think we constantly need fixing, but because there’s something almost ritualistic about getting ready, taking care of yourself or doing one tiny thing that makes you feel more polished.

I love fashion and how dramatically an outfit can change the way you carry yourself.

I love astrology, personality, identity, human behaviour and all of the weird little things that help us understand ourselves.

I love magazines, moodboards, beautiful branding and pulling seemingly unrelated things together until they suddenly create a world.

And I love talking about life.

Changing your mind. Starting again. Getting lost. Having a sudden burst of ambition. Questioning everything. Becoming someone new and then realising that maybe she was there all along. When I actually look at all of those things together, they don’t feel particularly random. They’re all about the same thing.

How we become ourselves!!

How we express ourselves.

How we take care of ourselves.

How we move through different versions of ourselves.

How we decide what stays and what we’ve outgrown.

And maybe that is my lane, not one subject. A perspective. I think we’ve become slightly obsessed with defining ourselves in ways that are easy to package.

You’re the fitness girl.

The fashion girl.

The business girl.

The wellness girl.

The beauty girl.

And of course, there’s nothing wrong with having a thing you’re known for. There’s something incredibly powerful about being brilliant at something. But I don’t think having depth means having to lose breadth. Most of us aren’t one thing in real life. We can care about movement and the new rhode lipgloss. Career and spirituality. Money and slow mornings. Building a business and deciding we would quite like to disappear to Italy for a month (which I contemplate on the regular)

We’re made up of interests that sometimes don’t make sense putting them together, but they do to us. Maybe growing up is partly learning to stop explaining them and just embracing them all.

I’m 32 now, and I think I’m finally getting less interested in building the most easily understood version of myself. I want to build the most authentic one. Maybe this chapter of my life isn’t about choosing the final answer. Maybe it’s about letting all of the pieces exist at once and seeing what they become together. Giving them all a seat at the table.

Which is also what I want this space to be. The Becoming won’t only be about identity.

Or beauty.

Or fashion.

Or wellness.

Or astrology.

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It will be about all of those things, the things that I love and light me up! There will be beauty edits and movement and things I’m wearing and things I’m questioning. There will probably be astrology. There will definitelyyy be existential crises dressed up as essays!!!

And hopefully, somewhere in all of it, there will be something that makes you recognise a little piece of yourself too.

I don’t want to be known for one thing anymore.

I want to be known for the way I see things.

So yes - to some I might be the pilates girl, the beauty girl but i’m choosing not to let other peoples versions of me define the version I see for myself. No more rebranding into parts of me. This is the rebrand of every piece of me!

And maybe that’s more than enough of a place to begin.

~ Charlotte x

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the versions of ourselves we accidentally become and I dont think we talk enough about how difficult it is to let go of that version of you that actually worked. Most of us have dreams of what we want to do and who we want to be younger in life, but then somewhere along the way, we wake up one day in a life so far from the original goal and think how on earth did I even get here?! Except it doesn’t happen just in that moment of realisation, it’s the consistent noticing of something doesn’t quite feel right, that uncomfortable feeling - almost living life from an outside view. Looking in the mirror but nt even recognising the person looking back. The friendships and relationships, perspectives on life that somehow no longer feel the same - but nothings changed. I’ve changed.

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What do you do for work? That’s how we seem to build a bigger picture of getting to know someone, not what are your hobbies? What do you do in your spare time? Do you have dreams and aspirations? We tie identity’s to the way we earn - it’s quite bizarre when you zoom out. And I think this is why i struggled to let go of my previous identity so much, the thing that i worked so hard to build. The business i built at 21 (I’m 32 now), the business that i managed to scale to 6 figures in such a short space of time. But most importantly the thing i was really bloody good at!

And that’s the thing, being good at something i think led me so far off path to my goal life I didn’t even notice until it became so unbearable not to notice. Im so grateful for the journey of where I’ve been and the lessons I’ve learnt - I’m not saying that I’m not. And i genuinely believe that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, that this has all been a lesson of trusting my own intuition, that niggling feeling that i had for the best part of 5 years, maybe even 6 if I’m being honest.

If i can feel that misaligned for so long why stay in that current version of my life?... Because it worked!

It kept me feeling safe

It helped me build something from scratch

It gave me purpose

It earned me recognition

And trust me i tried so hard to hold onto this version of myself, i thought maybe id just dropped the ball and I wasn’t putting in as much effort to keep this life. But i dont think it’s supposed to feel that hard? Pivoting we seem to associate with failure, but i think what I realised was not pivoting was the failure to myself. Not in life, but to me. (More on my pivoting in the coming weeks!)

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And that version of me that achieved everything i once wished for, was so hard to let go of but i think the slow realisation was that this version of me had taken me as far as i could go. That i actually had tried on a version of a life that fit really well but i now no longer actually liked it. I’d reached the end of the road and no matter how many times i tried to take a slightly new route id end up back at the very place i was trying to move from. I needed to switch roads, i needed to jump and see where I landed. I was at the point where the fear of being here the next year, the same thoughts a feelings farrrrr more outweighed the fear of jumping!!

Which leads me to here. Today, right now. On a path that i know can only take me so far, yet this time I’m ready to jump when i know it’s time. Im calling this the void. Not in my old life but also not fully in my new one. Kind of like a waiting room, I’m building the identity of the next version of me, whilst shedding layers of the old version of me. Except this time it’s actually quite fun, and I’m being a lot more ruthless. If this is something that you can relate to then the way I’m looking at this is like a house or wardrobe declutter - we get rid of the things that the old versions of ourselves wore and no longer would feel comfortable in or even like! And the things we still love we keep, but we also need a valid reason to keep these things. This can be anything from jobs, relationships, hobbies, the way we carry ourselves. Because our new life will not show up in actual reality until we show up as the person that already has that life! So getting crystal clear on exactly what that is, is so important.

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Clarity is something that I’m still currently working on, and journaling is my best friend for this! More on this topic in another article.

I’ve noticed that the real work of becoming, is actually un-becoming! Not constantly trying to become someone new, but having the courage to admit when you’ve quietly become someone different. We spend so much time trying to hold onto the life we worked so hard to build that we don’t notice we’ve outgrown it.

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And maybe that’s okay.

Maybe we’re not meant to fit into every version of ourselves forever. Maybe some lives are meant to be seasons. Maybe some identities are meant to carry us only part of the way. Not because they failed us, but because they served us at the time. They got us here. And now they’re gently asking to be left behind.

I don’t think becoming is about waking up one morning and deciding to reinvent your life, it’s much quieter than that.

It’s noticing.

It’s listening.

It’s giving yourself permission to stop forcing yourself into a life that no longer feels like home. Because maybe the greatest act of self-trust and self-love isn’t holding on. I actually think it’s trusting yourself enough to let go even when you dont know where this will lead.

Have you got anything in your current life that you know you’ve outgrown but are scarred to admit?

— Charlotte x

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If I wanted to earn more, I worked more. If I wanted a day off, I earned less.

It wasn’t necessarily a bad way to live. In many ways, it gave me certainty. I knew what my days looked like. I knew what was expected of me. I knew how to create a result.

But over time, I started wanting something different.

I wanted more freedom.

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Not because I didn’t enjoy my work, but because I realised I was constantly trading my time for money. My income depended on me showing up. My business depended on me showing up. And somewhere along the way, I started dreaming about creating a life with a little more space in it.

Space to think. Space to create. Space to travel. Space to explore ideas. Space to build something that wasn’t limited by the number of hours in a day.

So I started making changes.

Slowly at first. Then more intentionally.

I invested in myself. I expanded into Pilates. Not knowing where it would lead but also having a North Star of the destination I wanted to arrive at. I started thinking about online offers. I began imagining a life that looked different from the one I’d spent years building.

For the longest time, freedom sat on the horizon as the thing I was working towards - the reward, the destination, the answer.

If I could just create enough flexibility, enough financial security and enough options, then I’d finally feel free.

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But recently, I’ve realised something I wasn’t expecting.

I’m getting closer to the thing I thought I wanted.

And it makes me uncomfortable.

The more space I create, the more I seem to find ways to fill it. The more flexibility I have, the more tasks I create. The more freedom I experience, the more aware I become of how difficult I find it to simply let myself have it.

And that’s been an uncomfortable thing to admit.

Because for years, I believed the problem was a lack of time.

Now I’m beginning to wonder whether the problem was never time at all.

Maybe it was my relationship with worth.

What I didn’t expect was that creating more space would hold up a mirror. For years, I thought freedom would solve the problem. Instead, it revealed one. Because when you’re no longer constantly moving, achieving and ticking things off a list, you’re left face to face with the beliefs underneath it all.

The beliefs that quietly shape how you work, what you chase and how worthy you feel when you’re not doing either.

I think a lot of us grow up absorbing the idea that success has to be earned through effort. Not just effort, but hard effort. Visible effort. Exhausting effort. The kind of effort that proves you’re serious. The kind that makes people say:

“Wow, you’ve worked so hard.”

Somewhere along the way, productivity becomes a badge of honour. Being busy becomes evidence that you’re doing something important. And resting starts to feel suspicious.

If you’re not busy, what are you doing? If you’re not working, are you being productive enough? If you’re not exhausted have you really earned the result?

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I don’t think I realised how deeply I’d internalised those beliefs until I started creating a life that challenged them. Because now I’m in this strange position where I can see another way of living. And instead of fully embracing it, I keep finding reasons to stay busy.

It’s almost as though a part of me feels safer when I’m working. Safer when I’m occupied. Safer when every minute has a purpose.

Because if I’m busy, I don’t have to sit with bigger questions.

What do I actually want?

What would I do if I wasn’t trying to prove anything?

Who would I be if my value wasn’t tied to my productivity?

Those questions feel much harder than any to-do list. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realised that freedom isn’t just a logistical challenge.

It’s an identity challenge.

It’s one thing to say you want freedom. It’s another thing to become the kind of person who knows what to do with it.

I think that’s where I am right now. Not in the process of buying back my time. But in the process of learning how to receive it.

Learning how to stop measuring my worth by my output. Learning how to trust that rest doesn’t make me lazy. Learning that spaciousness doesn’t need to be justified. Learning that my value isn’t determined by how much I produce in a day.

And if I’m honest, I don’t have the answer yet.

This isn’t one of those essays where I wrap everything up with five lessons and a neat conclusion.

I’m still living the question. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe becoming isn’t about arriving at certainty. Maybe it’s about being willing to question the things you’ve always believed. Even the beliefs that helped you get where you are.

Because I’m starting to suspect that the version of me who built a successful business through hard work and determination isn’t the same version of me who will build the life I’m trying to create next.

And perhaps that’s what this next chapter is really asking of me.

Not to work harder.

Not to do more.

But to learn that I don’t have to earn my right to enjoy the life I’ve already built.

A Question For You

Have you ever reached a goal only to realise the thing that needed to change wasn’t your circumstances - but your identity?

I’d love to know.

Charlotte x

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I’ve spent most of my life believing that if I worked hard enough, achieved enough, improved enough or became enough, I’d eventually arrive at the version of myself I was searching for. The confident version. The successful version. The fulfilled version.

But the older I get, the more I realise that life isn’t really about finding yourself. It’s about becoming.

Over the past few years, I’ve reinvented myself more times than I can count. I’ve built businesses, changed direction, started again, outgrown old identities and questioned almost everything I thought I wanted.

What I’ve learned is that growth rarely looks the way we imagine it will. It’s messy, uncomfortable and often invisible. And yet it’s where the most important work happens.

I’ve also always loved magazines. When I was younger, I used to dream about creating my own one day. Not because I wanted to be a writer, but because I loved the idea of collecting ideas, stories and perspectives that made people see themselves and their lives differently.

In many ways, this feels like a modern version of that dream. A place to gather thoughts, lessons, questions and observations as I navigate my own process of becoming. A place to explore what it really means to build a life that feels like your own.

This publication isn’t being written from the perspective of someone who has all the answers. It’s being written by someone who is actively living the questions. Someone who is learning that becoming isn’t a destination - it’s a practice. A lifelong process of shedding old versions of yourself and stepping into new ones.

I’ll be writing about the questions I’m living, not just the answers I’ve found. Work, wellbeing, ambition, identity and the ongoing process of becoming.

At its core, The Becoming is about one thing: the ongoing process of becoming who you’re meant to be. The courage it takes to change. The discomfort of outgrowing old versions of yourself. And the quiet work of building a life that feels like your own.

If that’s a journey you’re on too, I’m glad you’re here.

Charlotte x

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