These platforms were necessary work tools, and the connections saved my life when it all fell apart for me 3 years ago.

In an instant, I lost my identity, purpose, friends and connections, all positive aspects of an online presence.

I passed through all the facets of loss, but am actually grateful for the forced stop.

My purpose, and intentions were reevaluated. I’m reemerging better off; wiser, smarter and will come back stronger and independent.

This AI and algorithm-generated action has deeply affect my business, my ability to function. It’s caused undue stress, anxiety, damaging my reputation and left my work paralyzed.

Meta is supposed to be a valued partner for independent businesses like mine, we depended on them, but instead are using artificial intelligence to punish creative people like myself.

I did everything right to restore my account. Did everything suggested by the experts to not upset the powers that be and restore my account and good name. Even paying them $1,500 in verified account fees to receive enhanced support to reach an actual live representative. Nothing worked. It’s a huge scam and just gives the company more millions to fuck over their customers.

I’ll find a way back. Without Facebook and other Meta platforms. I’ll be reaching out to my followers to ask for help to recover. In the meantime, I’ll expose Meta for the fraud they are. Stealing from users, making promises and destroying the livelihoods of hardworking individuals who depended on these platforms.

No more! Fuck Meta. Fuck you, Zuckerberg!

Epicurean Exchange Culinary Travel http://wwwepexculinarytravel.com

Chef Charlie here! Proud to present our travel destinations for 2027! Join me on one of our extraordinary trips to incredible destinations across the globe! All programs meticulously curated and led by me and each of my talented teams of chefs, guides, historians, artists and craftspeople!

Contact me directly via WhatsApp (+1 925-368-4181) or email (charlie@epicureanexchange.com) for early bird registration and special travel discounts.

New Orleans, LA 🇺🇸 February 13 - 20

Charleston, SC 🇺🇸 February 20 - 27

Oaxaca, MX 🇲🇽 March 13 - 20 / 20 - 27

Playa Zipolite, MX 🇲🇽 March 27 - April 3

Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 April 10 - 17 / April 17 - 24

Portugal 🇵🇹 May 8 - 15 / May 15 - 22

Côte d’Azur, FR 🇫🇷 September 18 - 25 /

September 25 - October 2

Tuscany, IT 🇮🇹 October 2 - 9 / 9 - 16

San Miguel de Allende, MX 🇲🇽 October 30 - November 6 / November 6 - 13

An extraordinary human; a gift to our world, who found me drifting 2 years ago and literally saved my life.

A now precious member of my chosen family who makes everything he does not only possible, but even better than envisioned.

A brilliant visionary, writer, speaker and leader who through thoughtful reflection, practical life and work experience, and drawing on his deep compassion for others, brings forward a unique set of perspectives that inspires, and has actually changed the world.

Bill is one of my core supporters, and I would be lost without his presence in my life!

Today, I celebrate you, my friend, and the unique and amazing life and existence you have created! Wishing you a wonderful year ahead, doing more of what you do best!

Love you, Bill – Charlie

At 60, I finally admitted I was gay to myself. At 61, the rest of the world knew.

I was deeply unhappy living an unsustainable heteronormal life. Over the course of 5 months, I gave up everything.

Most men I’ve met, have been out in their teens and 20s; “gay” for 40 - 50 years. They knew they were gay at an early age; never had sex with women. Most are confident and comfortable with their lives; settled in relationships, nothing more to prove.

I’m still a gay baby; experiencing my second adolescence. Learning to be “gay,” to fit in, where I belong, and very sexual; quenching insatiable desires suppressed all my life.

I was reminded recently, what I missed growing up:

• No first crush I could act on (with a boy)

• No resources to learn about my emerging sexuality (as early as 10 years old)

• No one to talk to, to confide in

• No one to help me with questions about who I really was inside

• No one to hold me when I felt alone; when I cried

• No one to tell me it would all be ok

It took 60 years to even begin to really live my life, after so much effort, trauma and suffering.

Ultimately, I discovered that intimacy and sex matters. Our physical bodies are connected to our minds and our hearts. It all matters, and when combined in the way our DNA says we should be (attracted to men, physically and emotionally) it fills our hearts and minds. And when you are suppressed and denied, over a lifetime, it can take your will and your life. It almost did mine.

Being gay is still all new to me. It’s been an incredibly challenging time in my life, to start over, but living my truth, my authentic self, truly saved my life.

Nefarious reasons, AI and algorithm driven.

It’s been 167 days. Threads reinstated. IG deleted. But no FB.

These platforms are personally important, but for my work, critical! Especially FB.

Over 6 months, I’ve tried EVERYTHING to recover accounts, including spending over $1,300 for enhanced verified status promising results.

Played nice. Out of my control. Until now, NOTHING. No human support. Locked out.

13 days left. At my wits end.

Loumarin / Menton

Unique opportunity for adventurous travel companions to join seasoned chef for a spectacular week!

Returning to Nice. Seeking a group of 6 well-travel, culture, food and wine enthusiasts to join me!

5-star villa 30 minutes from Nice. 5 en-suite bedrooms. Offering 50% off retail, not including airfare! Direct flights to Nice from the US still available, 50% off ground costs, If booked by 8/15!

WhatsApp Charlie

+1 925-368-4181

http://www.epexculinarytravel.com

To this day, I have no idea why. Or any sight of resolution.

My livelihood has been decimated. My work has been completely stalled. My ability to promote my work and philanthropic efforts collapsed. It affects my ability to earn, and a has had a profound effect on my mental health., which many of you know has been a challenge for me.

Grasping at straws, it was recommended that I get “verified,” and pay substantial amounts of money to gain access to a “live” person to discuss my “case.” I started with $49; had one online chat, then in a queue. Uped to $149, nothing, now $499! ZERO SUPPORT!

Trying desperately to get help! No response.

At this point, I’m pissed, tired of waiting. Been told to just sit back, wait. If you open a new account or cause waves, by complaining online, AI and Algorithms will shut you down. Publishing this may put a nail in my META coffin.

I’m 160 days into a 180 day appeal process with no communication or resolution. I am the one who needs to initiate every action step. Told I’d receive an email about 2 months ago, nothing! Told not to expect any live person…too many cases, not enough staff! Really? Mark! Hire more staff and stop screwing your customers!

Meta has far too much control over the lives and livelihoods of millions of users. Meta has us by the balls. For 5 months, I’ve been looking for alternative media sources to promote my work. Coming up empty.

I’ve been told to CANCEL my verified status, and then they might come back to ask why and maybe help. Not counting on anything!

META DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK!

It’s the main reason I finally came out. Decades of pent up desires. My dam finally broke.

Sex, the lack of it, resulted in my failed marriage. Hadn’t touch another human for 20 years.

Truth is, I think about sex constantly. Most gay men do, because we can, do act on its accessibility.

I’ve become “sex-positive,” and thoroughly uninhibited. My sex life is crazy. Like nothing I could have ever imagined. It can happen anytime, anywhere, with anyone.

My void has been, and is continuously filling.

Sex has made me whole.

It took me 2 years just to figure out “how to be gay,” completely transforming into a new version of myself that had been buried, hidden within me. Screaming silently for decades wanting to come out.

That leaves me just one year into living my authentic self. Finally beginning to feel comfortable with who I am, with my new identity: yes authentic, but also a bit naive; vulnerable, cautious but also more daring than I ever thought possible.

In one year, I was supposed to figure it all out. How to carry myself, relate, understand, care for and be intimate with other men (when throughout my life I never had male relationships). Men always intimidated me. Still do. Just because they are men. I’ll probably never get over that.

I’m also expected to know how to love myself and others. I’m not there yet. My self-love is challenged by me every day. And I still don’t know how to truly, deeply love others. It’s too complicated, and I’m not ready for it.

Commitment to anything and anyone is still difficult for me. After living on my own, untethered, for 3 years, I’m not ready to settle down, probably never will.

Freedom is hard to come by. But I found it, and am not giving it away. I have fought too hard to let my circumstances or relationships shut down my progress.

I have learned one thing about myself. I can’t do complicated. I have in the past, and don’t like it. I don’t have the will or patience to confront complicated.

Being gay is complicated. There are no rules. It’s a free for all. My life now doesn’t follow any patterns or guidelines that I’ve ever known. So much of it doesn’t make sense, it’s not logical based on everything we have been taught.

It leaves you unsettled, questioning your every choice or decision. It’s exhausting, really. And it is slow to get better because everyday you are facing new challenges and territory. It’s frustrating, exasperating and defeating.

It was easier in my closet.

I’m reminded I’m not Mexican, and not really gay, still struggling, transitioning from my “straight” life, to my “gay” existence.

As a professional chef, cooking teacher, philanthropist, international food tour operator. I’m unknown.

Personally, professionally, nobody really knows who I am, or cares (except for a very small number of confidants and allies).

I’ve always had trust issues. I spent 30 years in San Francisco making a name for myself. Nurturing a base of family, friends, colleagues and clientele. They no longer exist. And no one here knows of my history, backstory, and value.

Here, trying to fit in. I’ve made a huge effort, but I still don’t know who to trust. It’s an uphill climb, everyday. My existence here is temperamental.

I’m constantly being burned. And those who do, don’t even realize it, or know how profound it is for me.

I’m on my own.

So, really…what the fuck am I doing here? Anywhere?

Happy Father’s Day to us. Two gay dads with grown kids, we spent the day together in solidarity.

Michael (L) from Texas, and Charlie (R) from California, we both ended up in Mexico, giving up everything, looking for new starts.

From very different worlds (Brenham, TX, and San Francisco,CA), but our intersection as older gay men and parents is strong: married, kids, and navigating life in San Miguel.

We have discovered we are better gay together 🏳️‍🌈

This year, the first in 64 years, I’m without a father on Father’s Day. Truth is, I never really had one.

I haven’t celebrated, acknowledged my father, for over a decade. Estranged, separated by choice, from his alcoholic, dysfunctional behavior.

After his death, by law, I received a copy of his will. In it, he disinherited me, and my deceased older sister.

He wrote that we BOTH preceded him in death; even though I’m alive and well.

I always knew I was dead to him. This proved it.

– Paul Orfalea, Founder of Kinko's

Many years ago, I ordered a cup of coffee at a Starbucks in my town of Orinda, CA. At that time, they had inspirational quotes – “The Way I See it” – printed on their paper cups, and sleeves to help insulate the coffee and protect the customer from the heat of the beverage. The sleeves covered up the quotes.

I normally would not have paid attention to the quote on the cup, but at some point, the sleeve came off, and I noticed the quote on the cup. The universe offering me a bit of parental advice.

“You know you’ve succeeded in life when your kids want to spend time with you when they grow up.”

I was a new dad – of twins – trying my best to hold it all together. This quote caught my eye, and as usual, observing and holding on to the little clues of life, I kept the cup. It was on a bookshelf in my office. For over 20 years. I probably noticed it every day.

My dad and I had a challenging relationship. I never spent much time with him growing up. He didn’t offer, I never initiated. As I grew older, I really tried, but had less and less interest to be in his company. My dad simply had no capacity to be a father to me. About 15 years ago, I told him “I loved him, but didn’t like him, for the way her treated me.” I didn’t speak to him again. He died earlier this year without ever speaking to me again.

Had he succeeded as a father?

When I became a father, I vowed to be the best dad I could be. Better than my dad was to me. I tried to do everything right. I was loving, nurturing and most of all, present. I knew my kids loved me, appreciated me. My son once said, I think as we graduated high school and was off to college (paraphrasing): “thanks for the life you gave me, for the opportunities to be my best.” He also told me I was one of his greatest mentors, showing him that through challenges and adversity, it’s still possible to succeed and live up to one’s potential.

Throughout their young lives, and into later high school, I spent a lot of time with my kids, at school, sports – both skilled swimmers – and a lot of separate, one-on-one alone time with each of them. Being twins and different genders, they each needed something a little different. I was also a present parent, always curious about their lives, checking in with them to make sure everything was ok with them. As they got older, they shared less, but they knew I was there if they needed me. I was also the parent that balanced the crazy (often exhibited by their over-protective mother).

About 4 years ago, when they were both beginning their junior years of college, I told them that things were not going well for their mom and me, and in the end, it may not work out for us. They both understood. They knew that we were having issues, that their mom was difficult and saw how she treated me. I even told their mom that I wanted a divorce, but she rejected the idea; wanting to fight for our relationship.

Even though I knew our family was going to be changing, I was still committed to the well-being of my kids.

Over the next year, life got complicated. Although I wanted a divorce for a host of other reasons, and being gay wasn’t even in the top 10 reasons why; my being gay ultimately superseded all of the other issues. We separated, and divorced, and our family split apart. Primarily due to their mom’s control over them and our situation, I haven’t seen or spoken to my kids in over 3 years.

This Father’s Day, I was thinking about my kids, that Starbucks cup, and the gentle, random wisdom it shared with me that morning, and carried with me for decades.

For over 20 years, I was doing everything right to have my kids want to spend time with me when they grew up.

Even though they don’t want to spend time with me, it still might happen. Maybe they just haven’t grown up yet. Grown up enough to want to spend time with me. As a gay dad, who at 61 wanted more out of his life. With what time he had left.

I still love my kids and want to spend time with them. If they will let me.

Father’s Day is for dads to be celebrated by their children.

I’m one of the good ones, have a lot to be proud of.

But I won’t be celebrated or celebrating this year. Just another day.

I know many gay men who regret they couldn’t be fathers. I’m fortunate to have brought other lives into this world. My greatest gifts and accomplishments.

I’m reminded that I’ll forever be a dad.

Well, at least on paper.

Mexico City, with a population of nearly 10 million people within the city limits, and the broader metropolitan area over 25 million, is a 4-hour bus ride south from San Miguel de Allende. Leaving on Friday morning, staying 3 nights.

Airbnb-ing it in the trendy Roma Norte neighborhood; highly progressive, gay-friendly neighborhood just a 10-15 minute walk from the main parade route.

Mexico City is also hosting the World Cup Soccer Championships, adding to the crowds! It should be a blast!

Mush more to share later about our adventures!

“Día de Muertos” Tour 2026

October 31 - November 7, 2026

Visit San Miguel de Allende, my hometown, during the most celebrated time of the year, the Day of the Dead.

San Miguel de Allende, a UNESCO World Heritage City, and voted the “Most Beautiful City in the World,” just happens to be my home!

When I visited for the first time, about 3 years ago, I immediately fell in love with this place, as most do! After visiting friends from the Bay Area, I soon after developed a culinary tour here, my first in Mexico, through my travel company, Epicurean Exchange Culinary Travel.

Our the years, we have curated an amazing team of chefs, guides, historians and artisans who each take a part leading our tours and showcasing this extraordinary place.

This year, I have just 8 precious reservations available for our Dia de Muertos tour. We will be staying in my secure compound in the historic center of the city.

So visit me this fall, see why I’ve made this my home!

DM me for special pricing! Or text me via WhatsApp +1 925-368-4181

http://www.epexculinarytravel.com

I wake up everyday with this ink on my arm. Wherever I go, it’s with me. It reminds me where I’m from, where my journey began.

In researching my choice, I learned what each color represents. My first lesson. The Roman numerals MMXXIII (2023) my coming out year.

RED - Life

ORANGE - Healing

YELLOW - Sunlight

GREEN - Nature

BLUE - Harmony and Peace

VIOLET - Spirit

My first was in San Francisco; my second in Lisbon, and my third, here in San Miguel de Allende.

Before June 2023, Pride wasn’t on my radar. I wasn’t “gay” yet.

I welcome June to grow, listen and learn. To understand our history. It’s still new to me.

I’m well aware I’m only free to live my life as I do because of those who came before me.

Happy Pride to all, in whatever way you choose to celebrate!

But when generational alcoholism reared its ugly head in my family, I was about 10, and that hope was lost.

So when I married, had children, I was determined to create “perfect” for my 2 kids. I loved and supported them for over 20 years. It was perfect.

But that perfection ended when I came out as gay at 60. It destroyed my family.

I’m sorry for them, that I just couldn’t hold perfect together.