I have had immense joy writing to you and sharing different stories, lessons, and advice from my journal over the past 25 days.

I have written about love, friendship, career, academics, growth, money, spirituality, your body, and so many of the little things that make up this beautiful, confusing, sometimes overwhelming thing called life.

The 25th and final note will be this: decide early that you are going to be the trendsetter for your own life.

There will always be trends, opinions, expectations, and people telling you what you should want, how you should live, and what your life should look like.

Do not allow yourself to be tossed and turned by every new wave that comes. Know yourself. Know what matters to you.

Decide what kind of life you want to build and have the courage to live it, even when it looks different from what everyone else is doing. That decision will save you from a lot!

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And with that, we have finally come to the end of this series. Yaaayyy!

Thank you for coming along with me for the past 25 days. It has been such a joy sharing these little notes from my journal with you.

So now, permit me to throw some confetti 🎊 as I celebrate a brand-new chapter!

As I step into another year, here is what I am praying for and looking forward to:

• More love

• More knowledge of God and His Word

• More money

• More global opportunities

• Good health

• Peace of mind, strength, and stability in different areas of my life

• And finally, the gift of good men

Wish me well in the comments, and if you’re looking for a way to give me a birthday gift, you can get a copy of my recently published children’s book, Zai and the Talking Money. ❤️

I wrote Zai and the Talking Money because I want children to be exposed to healthy financial principles from a young age.

I believe that the earlier we start having conversations about money with children, the better prepared they will be to make wise financial decisions as they grow, so that life does not catch them unprepared when they eventually have to navigate money on their own.

It is my wish that this book gets into the hands of as many children as possible, and it costs just ₦2,500.

You can buy a copy or more for the children around you or sponsor copies for children who may not be able to afford one, and I will get them to them. ❤️

Thank you for reading, reflecting, smiling, and growing with me through these 25 days.

I hope you have enjoyed this series as much as I have enjoyed writing it.

Bye for now. ❤️

It was one of those things I knew I would eventually need, so I decided not to wait until I had a reason to start the process.

Interestingly, after I got it, I started having more conversations with international clients and realised I needed to set up another USD account to make it easier to receive payments from them.

One of the requirements was an international passport, and because I already had mine, I was able to set everything up immediately without any added stress.

If I had waited until I actually needed one, I would have been in a tight spot because obtaining an international passport in Nigeria can take months.

The above experience reminded me that, most times, the best thing you can do while waiting for your miracle is to prepare for it.

That way, when it finally comes, you’re ready to take it. And this applies to so many other areas of life.

So:

• Get that degree you think you will need to move forward in your career

• Take the course that will sharpen your skills

• Build your portfolio before someone asks to see it

• Save money before you desperately need it

• Get the documents you know you will eventually need

• Learn how to communicate your value before you find yourself in a room where you have to pitch yourself

• Build a strong network before you need one, etc.

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The difference between the person who gets an opportunity and the person who misses it is not talent or luck. It is often preparedness.

In other news, today is my birthday eve, and I am so excited! 🥹❤️

If you’ve been enjoying this series, I’d love to hear from you. Have you enjoyed these letters so far? And what’s been your favourite lesson or tip?

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Stay tuned for tomorrow’s final newsletter. It will be published earlier than usual.

All my love,

Chidinma

Before the romantic relationships, friendships, family relationships, and all the other relationships that will shape your life, there will always be the relationship you have with the girl you see when you look in the mirror.

You must learn to like her, understand her, forgive her, and be patient with her because YOU are your longest commitment!

I learnt this very early in life because I did not want to spend my life desperately seeking validation from other people.

I did not want to become someone who stayed in toxic relationships or kept the wrong company simply because I was afraid of what would happen if I confronted them or chose to walk away.

Plus, I knew I could only truly give the kind of love I wanted to receive if I had love within me to give.

So, having a healthy relationship with myself became one of the most important things I could do for myself.

Here are five things I’ve done to cultivate more self-love:

1. I resolved to know who I am

I became intentional about understanding myself. I paid attention to the things I enjoyed, the things that mattered to me, the values I wanted to live by, and the kind of woman I wanted to become. I also learnt to recognise my strengths and weaknesses honestly.

Knowing your strengths helps you understand what you can bring to the table, while knowing your weaknesses allows you to identify the areas where you can grow.

2. I embraced my mistakes without being unkind to myself

We humans are not perfect, and I think life becomes a little easier when you stop expecting yourself to be.

You can acknowledge that you will certainly make mistakes without deciding that those mistakes make you less valuable.

Your weaknesses or mistakes do not cancel out your strengths, and they certainly do not make you unworthy of love. The better you understand this, the kinder you become to yourself.

3. I became intentional about enjoying my own company

It is completely normal to want companionship. We all crave connection, friendship, and love. But I think every girl should also learn how to enjoy her own company.

Learn to take yourself out, sit with your thoughts, pursue side quests, and have a full life outside of your friends or partner.

You should be able to enjoy your life while you wait for the right people to share it with, not feel like your life has to begin when someone else arrives.

4. I embraced God’s Word

God loves me, and that awareness gave me a foundation that is much deeper than external validation.

When you are aware of your identity in Christ, you are less likely to beg people to give you what you already know you have.

5. I became intentional about becoming the woman I want to be

Loving yourself does not mean refusing to grow. It means you love yourself enough to keep becoming better.

It means constantly working on your character, habits, emotional maturity, finances, relationships, and the things you know you can improve.

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Before I wrap up, here’s a word of caution: self-love is not selfish.

It is not ignoring everyone else to focus only on yourself, refusing to apologise when you’re wrong, or using ‘protecting my peace’ as an excuse to avoid accountability.

Self-love is about knowing your worth, setting healthy boundaries, and treating yourself with the same kindness and grace you freely give to others.

It is the foundation that helps you build healthier relationships, make better choices, and love others from a place of fullness rather than desperation.

And it is important because YOU are your longest commitment.

So, love yourself every single day!

Until next time!

Even now as a graduate, I still use some of these principles whenever I’m learning a new skill or sharpening one I already have.

Whether you like it or not, you’ll spend a good part of your life learning something.

You’ll need to get a degree, upskill, earn a certification, adapt to new technology, or keep up with changes in your field.

So, learning is definitely one thing you’ll never outgrow. The good news is that it is a skill. And once you know how to learn effectively, it becomes much easier to pick up almost anything.

Here are 7 strategies that have helped me over the years (feel free to steal one or two):

1. Learn when your brain is most active

The best time to learn is whenever your brain works best.

For me, that’s early in the morning. My mind feels clearer, I’m less distracted, and the world isn’t noisy.

It helps to know what works for you too. If you retain information better at night, study at night. If you’re a morning person, take advantage of those hours.

Don’t force yourself into someone else’s routine.

2. Spend more time ‘actively’ learning

Reading your notes over and over again feels productive, but it often isn’t. The real learning happens when you force your brain to retrieve information.

Instead of simply rereading my notes, I’d answer past questions, explain concepts from memory, solve problems, use the new information immediately, teach someone else, or quiz myself.

If you can explain a topic without looking at your notes, that’s when you know you’ve actually learned it.

3. Learn with the right friends

The emphasis here is on the right friends.

If you have serious friends who are interested in learning, studying together is so much fun.

Back in secondary school, I had a study group. In university, I had one too.

Sometimes someone would explain a concept in a way that finally made it click. Other times we’d challenge one another with questions or simply keep each other accountable.

Overall, learning became something I looked forward to because I wasn’t doing it alone.

4. Use visual learning whenever possible

You don’t always have to learn from a textbook. Sometimes seeing something explained visually can be helpful.

YouTube was honestly one of my biggest lifesavers throughout my stay in the university.

Whenever a topic refused to make sense from my notes, I’d search for videos, animations, diagrams, or illustrations until I understood it.

Don’t be ashamed to learn in the format that works best for you.

5. Build the habit with small, consistent streaks

One of the biggest reasons people struggle with studying is because they wait until they “feel motivated.”

A better strategy is to start small. Pick a specific time every day and commit to studying for as little as 10 minutes. Then, do it consistently for about three months.

Consistency rewires your brain. Once the habit is established, increasing your study time becomes much easier.

6. Reward yourself

I learned this from Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Your brain responds well to rewards. After finishing a learning session, give yourself something to look forward to. I still do this to this day.

The reward could be watching an episode of your favourite show, getting a snack, taking a walk, scrolling social media for a few minutes, or calling a friend.

Small rewards make it easier to stay consistent because your brain begins to associate studying with something positive.

7. Never underestimate repetition

Have you ever wondered why you somehow know the full lyrics to a TikTok sound you’ve never intentionally memorised? The secret is repetition.

The same principle applies to studying. You won't remember information if you only see it once, but if you encounter it repeatedly, it sticks.

Repetition moves information from short-term memory into long-term memory, and that’s exactly what you want before an exam.

The more familiar something becomes, the less intimidating it feels. Confidence often grows from repetition.

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I don’t believe anyone has a ‘dullard’ brain. I believe the brain is like a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it becomes.

I’ve seen people go from struggling with learning to becoming really good at it simply because they found a way to learn that worked for them and stuck with it.

Try any of these strategies out, and let me know if it ever makes the learning experience more fun!

Until next time,

Chidinma ❤️

The first time I had to speak publicly was in primary school, and I remember crying because I wasn’t prepared, and I froze.

If you had told that little girl that one day she’d confidently teach classes, host sessions, speak on stages, and enjoy it, she probably wouldn’t have believed you.

So how did I become confident?

I didn’t wake up one morning and suddenly feel fearless. I became confident because I kept doing it.

I spoke up in class. I said yes when I was asked to teach. I accepted opportunities that made me slightly uncomfortable, even when my first instinct was to say no.

Every single time I did something that scared me, my brain gathered a little more evidence that said, “You’ve done this before. You survived. You can do it again.”

That’s actually what psychologists call self-efficacy. We become more confident in our abilities not by thinking about them, but by experiencing ourselves doing hard things successfully.

I’ve seen this happen outside public speaking, too.

The first big impact project I ever co-led had me questioning whether I was qualified. I remember being so nervous and wondering if I had taken on more than I could handle.

However, while planning my most recent impact project, my mindset was completely different.

The work was still challenging, but my mind kept replaying this thought: “You’ve handled something like this before. You’ll figure it out.”

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If you said you were going to write the book, write it. If you said you were going to host the event, host it. If you said you were going to apply for the opportunity, submit the application.

Do it even when you’re tempted to take the easier route by convincing yourself not to do it anymore.

The moment you’re scared out of your mind is usually not the moment to back out. It’s usually the moment to lean in.

The interesting thing about confidence is that you can’t learn it from books alone. Yes, books can teach you principles, but they can’t give you the experience of doing something difficult and realising you survived.

Confidence is built through action. It’s built every time you keep a promise to yourself, every time you show up when it would have been easier to hide, and every time you do something before you feel completely ready.

As a woman, confidence is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself because life will keep asking you to step into rooms that feel bigger than you.

If you keep waiting until you feel completely fearless, you’ll spend a lot of your life waiting.

So do the scary thing. Then do another one.

Rooting for you, always!

Until next time,

Chidinma ❤️

You can be really good at what you do and still struggle to get opportunities if you don’t know how to communicate your value and the impact you’ve created.

I started working remotely with companies since my 200-level in the university, and over the years, I’ve realised that companies are usually trying to answer one simple question before they hire anyone:

“Can I trust this person to solve the problem I need solved?”

Once you understand that most companies care more about what they stand to gain, you begin to build a professional profile that is more about the value and impact you can create.

Here are five things I’ve learnt contribute to a strong professional profile that gets you hired:

1. A good CV

Your CV is an employer’s first impression of what you can do for them, so it needs to do more than list your responsibilities.

Hiring managers want evidence that you can create results, not just perform tasks.

Instead of simply saying what you were responsible for at previous companies, show what happened because of your work.

Another thing I always recommend is tailoring your CV for every opportunity. If you’re applying to a brewery, don’t send the same CV you used for a fashion role.

Always highlight the experiences, projects, and transferable skills that are most relevant to the company you want to work with.

The easier it is for them to see you solving ‘their’ problems, the easier it is for them to picture you as part of their team.

2. Well-written cover letters

I always tell people that a cover letter should feel like a conversation between you and the hiring manager.

The biggest mistake you can make is making the entire letter about yourself.

Yes, they’re hiring you, but what they’re really trying to figure out is what you can do for them.

Instead of only talking about your qualifications, talk about the company too. What challenges do you think they’re trying to solve? How do your skills help move them closer to those goals?

If you’ve helped another company solve a similar problem, mention it. Explain what you did and, more importantly, what the outcome was.

3. Strong communication skills

At some point, many of the jobs you apply for will require an interview, and that’s your opportunity to bring everything on your CV to life and communicate your value succinctly.

One framework that has helped me over the years is the STAR framework: Situation. Task. Action. Result.

Instead of giving long, scattered answers, explain the situation, describe what you were responsible for, talk about the actions you took, and end with the result.

Wherever possible, quantify that result with numbers because they make your impact more believable.

4. A track record of achievements

This is something I’ve become much more intentional about recently.

Every time I complete a project, receive positive feedback, hit a milestone, or achieve a measurable result, I document it.

You’ll thank yourself months later when you’re updating your CV, preparing for an interview, or writing a cover letter and suddenly need proof of your impact.

5. A professional online presence

Almost everyone knows me as a LinkedIn girlie because I’d take every opportunity to yap about it.

If you’re building a professional career, having an online presence where people can learn about your work is not optional!

You don’t have to become a full-time content creator, but you should have a profile that reflects what you do, what you’ve worked on, and what you’re interested in.

Every once in a while, you can also share what you’re learning, the projects you’re working on, lessons from your career, or even small wins along the way.

Why? Because companies now ask for links to your profile in job applications.

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I’d also like to add: one of the biggest benefits LinkedIn has given me over the years has been the relationships.

I’ve met clients and mentors simply because I consistently showed up there. So network like your career depends on it, because in many ways, it does.

And if you need help figuring out your LinkedIn or positioning yourself better, send me a message here.

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Companies will always hire the person they trust to deliver. So invest in becoming really good at what you do, but don’t stop there.

Learn how to communicate your value, document your impact, and position yourself in a way that makes it easy for people to say yes.

Those few things have opened more doors for me than I can count, and I hope they do the same for you.

Loved reading this? Pass it along to a career girl! ❤️

I’m a firm believer that we’re all captains of our lives, and at the end of the day, every one of us gets to make our own decisions and live with the consequences of those decisions.

But I still think this conversation is worth having.

In the world today, there are so many voices telling us that sex before marriage is normal, expected, and almost necessary for a healthy relationship.

I see it in movies, music, social media, EVERYWHERE!

In fact, I recently stopped watching a movie because almost every other scene contained an unnecessary sex scene.

The main plot was interesting, so I kept wondering why they had to force those scenes into it.

No wonder girls who are 13, 14, 15, and 16 are exposed to far more than I ever was while growing up.

It’s really sad!

Honestly, the media is after purity, so I, too, must lend my voice.

When I was younger, I heard people say that waiting until marriage was the right thing to do.

But I didn’t just want to believe it because an adult told me to. I wanted to understand why.

So I started doing my research. I wanted to know what the Bible said, but I also wanted to know what science and relationship research had to say. So I learned from both sources.

Here are a few reasons that stood out to me and have strengthened my conviction that waiting until marriage is still (and will always be) worth it:

1. Sex creates emotional bonds that are difficult to break

When you have sex with someone, hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin are released. These hormones are associated with attachment, trust, and bonding.

That means physical intimacy often creates a deeper emotional connection between two people. It’s even been likened to the kind of bond mothers develop with their babies after childbirth.

When I first learnt that, I was amazed.

It helped me understand why people often find it so difficult to move on after a sexually intimate relationship ends, and why carrying those emotional attachments into future relationships can make it harder to bond deeply again.

Now imagine building that kind of bond with 5 different people from 5 different relationships that eventually didn’t work out.

That’s A LOT of emotional attachment to carry.

Until marriage happens, remember that a relationship is not yet sealed. Someone may promise you marriage today, but life happens. Relationships end, engagements are called off, and people change their minds.

So, it’s wiser to preserve that level of intimacy for the person you eventually marry. That’s the context God designed it for, and I believe it’s even more beautiful and enjoyable when it’s experienced the way He intended.

2. It can make it harder to leave when you should

This is closely linked to my first point.

When you’re deeply attached to someone, it’s much easier to overlook red flags, excuse poor behaviour, or keep convincing yourself that things will eventually change.

You may find yourself staying with someone who constantly insults you, disrespects you, or even abuses you because you’ve already become emotionally and physically attached.

So you stay and endure, even when you know you shouldn’t.

Waiting until marriage gives you the freedom to evaluate someone’s character without feeling like you’ve already invested so much of yourself that walking away becomes emotionally overwhelming.

3. Women often carry the heavier consequences

Whenever I think about who bears the brunt when things don’t go according to plan in an intimate relationship, it’s always the woman.

When an unplanned pregnancy happens, it is the woman whose education, career, body, and future are affected immediately.

Even when pregnancy doesn’t happen, women are often the ones dealing with side effects and worrying about reproductive health when they take pills or contraceptives.

That’s a lot of burden to carry for someone who hasn’t yet made a lifelong commitment to you (and who may never commit). Be wise!

4. Love and sex are not the same thing

One of the biggest lies I think our generation has believed is that sex is the highest proof of love. It isn’t.

People have sex for many reasons, and some of those reasons are purely selfish.

Some people do it because they want to feel good. Some because they’re curious. Some simply because they want pleasure.

One interesting story in the Bible that illustrates this point is the story of Amnon and Tamar.

Amnon thought he was deeply in love with Tamar. In fact, he became so consumed by his desire for her that he made himself sick over it.

But the moment he had sex with her, everything changed. The Bible says he hated her even more than he had supposedly loved her. (2 Samuel 13: 1–22)

Every time I read that story, I’m reminded that lust and love are not the same thing.

Lust asks, “What can I get from you?” Love asks, “What’s best for you?”

That’s a big difference, if you ask me.

Love, at its core, is selfless. It’s shown in commitment, sacrifice, patience, and respect. It doesn’t pressure someone into compromising their values just to satisfy a temporary desire.

So if someone is asking you to prove your love by sleeping with them, I don’t believe they’re speaking from a place of genuine love.

Someone who truly loves you and genuinely believes you’re the person they want to spend the rest of their life with should be willing to wait.

After all, if you’re planning to spend the rest of your lives together, you’ll have a lifetime to enjoy sex. What’s the rush?

5. It creates distractions

One thing I’ve noticed is that physical intimacy can easily become the centre of a relationship if care is not taken.

The time you’re supposed to spend communicating, asking difficult questions, understanding each other’s values, and discussing your vision, goals, finances, family expectations, and future can be slowly replaced by physical pleasure.

So, you end up building the relationship on chemistry rather than character.

Remove sex from a relationship, and you’ll be surprised by how much more intentional your conversations become.

You’ll quickly discover whether you genuinely enjoy each other’s company, whether your values align, and whether this is someone you can actually build a life with.

When sex blinds you, it’s difficult to be logical.

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Finally, I want to say this.

If you’ve had sex before marriage, this isn’t a message of condemnation.

We’re all human, and every single one of us is learning, growing, and trying to become a better version of ourselves. Nobody is perfect.

If, after reading this, you’ve decided that waiting is the path you want to take, know that you can make a different decision from today. Your past doesn’t have to dictate your future.

And if you’ve already chosen to wait, don’t let anyone make you feel old-fashioned, naive, or unrealistic because of it. Waiting is still a virtue!

Whatever you decide, make sure it’s a decision you’ve thought through carefully and weighed the consequences, not one you made because culture convinced you that “everyone is doing it.”

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Know someone who's wrestling with this decision? Share this with her. It could help her make a more informed choice.

Rooting for you, always.

With love from,

Chidinma ❤️

It’s one of my favourites because I always want my life to show that I’m a woman who is loved and helped by God.

Over the past couple of days, I’ve shared different letters on blooming as a woman.

We’ve explored friendships, money, relationships, wellness, and so much more.

But I love you too much to leave out the most important thing: having a living, breathing relationship with Jesus.

Every good thing in my life has flowed from that relationship.

So, if you’ve ever felt like something is missing (like there’s this quiet emptiness that achievements, relationships, or money can’t fill), you’re not alone.

Most of us have felt that void at one point in our lives.

The difference is that many people try to fill it with things that were never designed to satisfy it.

Some turn to money. Others chase relationships, sex, drugs, or ambition, hoping that the next thing will finally make them feel whole.

But I genuinely believe that void exists because it was created for God.

And the beautiful thing is that you don’t have to do anything special before coming to Him. He asks that you come as you are.

There’s so much comfort in knowing that the One who created you is also walking with you, guiding your steps, strengthening you, and helping you become the person He created you to be.

And there’s so much freedom in becoming the person God created you to be instead of spending your whole life trying to become who the world expects you to be.

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If you’ve never given your life to Jesus, but you’ve felt the need to, you can start by saying this simple prayer:

Dear Jesus, thank You for loving me. I acknowledge that I have sinned and that I cannot save myself. Thank You for dying on the cross for me and paying the price for my sins. Today, I surrender my life to You. I ask You to forgive me, become my Lord and Saviour, and help me live the life You created me to live. Teach me to know You, love You, and follow You every day. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

If you prayed that prayer and truly meant it, welcome to the family of God. ❤️

The next steps are simple.

Get yourself a Bible if you don’t already have one. I recommend starting with the New Testament because it’s a warm introduction to the life of Jesus.

Next, find a Bible-believing church where you can grow alongside other believers.

Then, start talking to God every day, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Just talk to Him the way you’d talk to someone you love.

And finally, give yourself grace.

You won’t know everything overnight. You’ll have questions and make mistakes. But keep showing up and keep returning to God.

God bless you!

Until next time,

Chidinma ❤️

The truth is, I’ve read so many books over the years that putting together this list was harder than I expected.

But if I had to narrow it down, these are the top 10 books I would recommend to every girl out there:

1. The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Why am I here?” or “What exactly was I created to do?” this book is a great place to find the answers you’re looking for.

One of the biggest lessons this book teaches is that life isn’t all about us. It helps you shift your perspective from chasing success and achievements to living intentionally for the purpose God created you for.

2. The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian

Prayer works. That much I know for sure.

As women, prayer isn’t supposed to be something we do only when life falls apart. It should become part of how we live.

This book taught me practical ways to pray through different areas of my life, from my purpose and emotions to my relationships and future.

And if you’re married or hope to be one day, I’d also recommend The Power of a Praying Wife by the same author. It’s a beautiful guide to intentionally praying for your husband and your marriage.

3. The Confident Woman by Joyce Meyer

Confidence doesn’t magically appear one morning. It’s built.

If you’ve ever struggled with comparison, self-doubt, or constantly questioning yourself, this book will gently challenge you to stop living from other people’s opinions and start embracing who God created you to be.

4. Take Notes by Toni Tones

I love this book for so many reasons. I’ve read it more than three times now, and every single time I open it, it feels like I’m reading notes from a big sister who wants the best for me.

Toni writes about friendship, career, purpose, identity, confidence, and navigating your twenties with so much honesty that you’ll probably find yourself highlighting almost every page.

5. The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller

This one! A fav! It will strip away the fairy tale version of marriage you have in your head and replace it with something so much deeper.

Timothy Keller explains marriage through the lens of the Gospel, and after reading it, you realise marriage isn’t just about finding someone who makes you happy. It’s about becoming more like Christ.

6. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

I don’t think enough people realise that building relationships is a skill.

One thing this book taught me was that people love talking about themselves, so I’ve learnt to let them.

It also taught me the power of remembering little details about people, avoiding unnecessary criticism, listening more, and making people feel seen.

They’re such simple lessons, but they’ve been so helpful in my relationships with people.

7. The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel

A lot of finance books can feel overwhelming, but this one doesn’t.

Morgan Housel reminds us that our relationship with money is often more emotional than logical.

He explains why people make irrational financial decisions, why patience matters, why wealth is different from looking rich, and why long-term thinking almost always wins.

It’s one of my favourite finance books. Make sure you get it!

8. Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin

“If you can find it in the Word, you can find it in your world.” - Pastor Mildred Okonkwo

Reading your Bible is non-negotiable, but learning how to study it well is just as important.

This book will teach you how to move beyond simply reading Scripture and begin studying it with understanding, context, and intention. It will completely change the way you approach God’s Word.

9. Professional Troublemaker by Luvvie Ajayi Jones

I promise you, the book wouldn’t ask you to start unnecessary fights or cause trouble (don’t be fooled by the title). 😂 Rather, it’s a book about courage.

Luvvie talks about using your voice, standing up for what matters to you, and refusing to shrink yourself just to make other people comfortable.

10. Atomic Habits by James Clear

Before reading this book, I used to focus a lot on goals. Now I pay much more attention to systems.

James Clear explains why the small things you do consistently matter so much more than the big things you do once in a while.

Well, that’s it!

You can find any of these books at a good bookstore. I’ve bought books from Bella Books, Hazel Books, and Roving Heights over the years, so be sure to check out their stores on Instagram if you’re looking to get started.

I’d also love to hear from you.

Is there a book that has completely changed your life that you think every woman should read? Drop your recommendation in the comments. I’m always looking for my next great read. 😉

People see me juggling NYSC, working with clients, creating content on LinkedIn, reading books, publishing books, managing projects, taking courses, and somehow still finding time to be sane or be a present partner.

The biggest reason it looks like I have my life together is because I’ve learnt to organise it.

Even though not everything will always go according to plan, life becomes a whole lot easier because you spend less time reacting to whatever comes your way and more time living intentionally.

And if I had to point to one thing that has helped me the most, I’d say: planning and goal setting.

I genuinely don’t believe in winging my life.

I know some people say things like, “New Year’s resolutions don’t work,” or, “Don’t bother setting goals because you won’t stick to them.”

Well, all those things work for me because I approach them differently.

At the beginning of every year, I set goals across the different areas of my life (spiritual life, career, finances, relationships, and personal growth).

But I don’t just write those goals down and hope they’ll magically happen. I break every single one of them down.

My yearly goals become quarterly goals, my quarterly goals become monthly goals, my monthly goals become weekly goals, and my weekly goals become daily actions.

I know it sounds like a lot of work, but without that level of intentionality, I honestly don’t think I’d get half the things I get done.

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Currently, I’m teaching in a private school, and that alone comes with responsibilities every single day.

If I weren’t intentional about the other areas of my life, I could easily get swallowed up by the activities of NYSC and wake up one day wondering where the entire year went.

But because I already know the other goals I’ve set for myself, I make room for them.

I’m still showing up on LinkedIn, writing, reading books, and working on important personal projects.

None of those things happened by accident. I’ve been planning for them since the beginning of the year. That’s how I’ve been able to create some level of balance.

Goals, by themselves, don’t achieve anything. They simply tell you where you’re going. What gets you there are the systems you build around those goals.

For example, one of my goals this year was to grow my LinkedIn presence. Now imagine if I had simply written, “Grow on LinkedIn,” closed my notebook, and hoped for the best. Nothing would have happened.

Instead, I asked myself, “What does someone who grows consistently on LinkedIn actually do?”

The answer? They post consistently and engage with people. I turned those things into systems, which look like this:

Every week, I make sure I publish at least 3 posts. Every day, I send an introduction message to someone, engage with other people’s content, and intentionally build relationships and hop on coffee chats (at least once a month).

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James Clear talks about this in his book, Atomic Habits. He explains that goals give you direction, but systems are what make progress happen.

I couldn’t agree more.

The truth is, balance doesn’t happen naturally. It’s usually the result of planning. So please, don’t wing your life.

Tell your time where to go before something else does.

Hope this helps! ❤️

Loved reading this? If yes, share this with someone who needs more structure in their life.

As a woman, how you look matters. That includes what you choose to wear, how you smell, and how you carry yourself.

Whether we like it or not, people make assumptions based on what they see first. Before they hear you speak, they’re already judging you in their minds. Lol.

And that first impression usually comes from the little things, whether you look neat, whether your clothes are well put together, whether you smell fresh, and how you carry yourself.

Now, this doesn’t mean you should go and empty your bank account trying to impress people, look rich, or keep up with trends. Not at all.

Style has very little to do with how much money you spend and a lot more to do with being intentional with what you have. Also, looking put together is for your benefit and overall well-being.

Here are a few tips that have helped me over the years:

1. Buy more neutral colours

One of the easiest ways to make your wardrobe look more put together is by choosing neutral colours (black, white, beige, cream, navy blue, grey, and brown).

These colours are timeless, they go with almost everything, and they make getting dressed so much easier because you can mix and match without thinking too hard.

You don’t have to avoid colours completely, but having a good number of neutral pieces means you’ll always have something that works.

2. Buy clothes you can style in different ways

Whenever I buy clothes, I think, “Can I style this more than once?”

The more ways I can wear something, the better. Instead of buying clothes that only work once, I’d rather buy pieces that I can dress up, dress down, wear to church, wear to work, or wear casually, depending on how I style them.

3. Dress for your body type

There is no bad body type. Everybody's type is beautiful.

Currently, there are different body types (pear-shaped, rectangle-shaped, apple-shaped, hourglass, inverted triangle, and more), and there are clothes that flatter each one.

So, it’s important to understand what flatters your body. Learn what works for you and lean into it.

4. Have wardrobe basics

Build your wardrobe around basics first. A good pair of black trousers, a white shirt, a quality pair of jeans, a blazer, plain T-shirts, and comfortable shoes will take you much further than buying trendy pieces every month.

5. Buy quality whenever you can

I know quality pieces can be more expensive upfront, but if you can afford them, they usually save you money in the long run.

A well-made pair of trousers or a good blazer that lasts for years is often a better investment than buying something cheaper that loses its shape after one or two wears.

You don’t have to buy everything at once. Build your wardrobe gradually.

6. Iron your clothes

Nothing makes you look more unkempt than wearing rumpled clothes.

I remember I had a friend who used to joke that the sun was perfect for ironing her clothes. Don’t be like her. 😂

Taking a few extra minutes to iron your clothes can completely change how polished you look.

7. Smell good

Nigeria is hot. Very hot.

So smelling good goes a long way. Find a deodorant that works well for you and use a long-lasting roll-on.

Layer your scents, too. An oil perfume, body mist, and perfume together usually last much longer than using just one product.

People might forget what you wore, but they’ll definitely remember if you smell good or bad.

8. Carry a few essentials

I like keeping a few things in my bag that help me stay fresh throughout the day.

Some of them include: lip gloss, powder, wipes, gum or mint, and a small perfume.

9. Have good posture

Sometimes, it’s not even the clothes that make you look elegant; it’s the way you carry yourself. Stand up straight, sit upright, walk confidently, and make eye contact when you’re talking to people.

10. Keep your hair and nails neat

Your hair doesn’t always have to be freshly installed or salon-perfect, and your nails don’t have to be long or covered in gel polish. They just need to be neat.

Clean, well-kept hair and tidy nails make a huge difference in your overall appearance and instantly help you look more put together.

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Decide today that you’ll put a little more effort into taking care of yourself. Maximise your beauty while you’re young, not necessarily to impress other people, but because you deserve to look and feel your best.

And as you do, remember that modesty never goes out of style.

Here’s a question for my fashion girls: what’s one style tip that’s made the biggest difference for you? Leave a comment.

Instead of spending all my time applying for jobs or cold pitching strangers, I had a different idea.

I went through my contact list and started reaching out to people I had built relationships with over the years.

Some were former clients, some were people I had interacted with, some were people I’d had coffee chats with, and one of them was someone I had written a guest blog for years ago.

After a few emails, one of the contacts with whom I once had a coffee chat and kept in touch replied, saying she was looking for someone to help with LinkedIn ghostwriting and that she’d love to work with me.

One conversation led to another, and before I knew it, we were working together. Today, it’s one of the projects I’m most excited about!

I shared that story because I want you to remember something: opportunities come through people.

People often say there are no jobs, and while that is true on many fronts, I can also share that this year alone, a couple of people from my network have reached out to work with me.

And it’s all thanks to the trust I’ve built over the years.

If someone is going to hire you, recommend you, or mention your name in a room you’re not in, there has to be a level of trust.

And trust doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to build.

In today’s newsletter, I want to walk you through four networking tips I wish someone had taught me when I was just starting in building a career.

They include:

1. Build your network before you need one

One mistake I see people make is waiting until they need a job before they start networking.

Think about it. If a stranger sent you a DM today asking whether you knew of any opportunities or if you could recommend them for a role, would you do it?

Probably not, because you don't know them. And if you're referring someone, your reputation is attached to theirs. If they do a poor job, it reflects on you, too.

That’s why networking works best when there’s no immediate agenda. So, build relationships before you need anything from people.

That way, when opportunities come up, they already know who you are and what you’re capable of because the trust is there.

2. Help people without expecting anything in return

The healthiest professional relationships are mutually beneficial.

Don’t approach every conversation wondering what you can get out of it. Instead, ask yourself what value you can bring.

Ironically, the people who give the most without constantly keeping score are often the ones who receive the most in the long run.

People remember generosity. And even when the person you helped can’t help you back, they often remember you when someone else is looking for exactly what you offer.

3. Collecting contacts is not the same as building a network

This is probably my biggest networking hot take.

I don’t think the goal of attending conferences or networking events should be to collect as many business cards, LinkedIn connections, or phone numbers as possible.

If you leave with fifty new contacts but never speak to any of them again, what exactly have you built?

Personally, I don’t even pressure myself to meet the most influential person in the room.

I’d rather have one genuinely interesting conversation with the person sitting next to me than spend the entire event trying to introduce myself to people who probably won’t remember my face afterwards.

Real relationships are built through conversations, consistency, and staying in touch. Not through collecting contacts.

4. Become someone people want to stay connected to

By that, I don’t mean becoming the smartest person in the room, having thousands of followers, or having money.

I simply mean having work you’re genuinely committed to and creating value that people can clearly see.

When you’re known for doing good work, showing up consistently, and being dependable, people naturally want to stay connected to you.

And when opportunities come up, it’s much easier for them to confidently recommend your name because they’ve seen the value you bring.

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It’s true what they say: your network is your net worth. So don’t chase contacts; build relationships.

Be kind, be generous, stay in touch, and be someone people enjoy rooting for. It takes a lot of intentional effort to do this, and I know you’ve got it!

Got other interesting networking tips to share? Please leave a comment.

In this generation, we get to do so many things that previous generations were never privy to.

We can build an entire freelance career from our bedrooms, reach thousands of people with one post, make money through unconventional career paths like crypto, and build solid friendships with people we’ve never met in person.

When you really think about it, it’s incredible.

But with all these benefits has come one downside: the comparison trap.

We now consume the lives of other people far more than human beings were ever designed to.

In just a few minutes of scrolling, you can watch dozens of people experience some of the biggest moments of their lives.

Someone gets engaged. Someone buys a new house. Someone lands their dream job. Someone relocates abroad. Someone else starts a PhD.

If you’re not careful, questions like these start to linger in your mind: “Am I doing enough?” “Should I be further ahead by now?” “Why does it feel like everyone else’s life is moving except mine?”

I remember watching The Social Dilemma on Netflix a while back, and to be honest, it was both eye-opening and troubling to see how software engineers and tech founders manipulate human psychology to increase screen time, spread misinformation, and affect mental health. Please watch it!

In today’s newsletter, I want you to know that if you’re currently dealing with this and it’s affecting your mental health, there is a way out.

If you want any chance of pursuing your goals and watering your own garden, you have to be intentional about refusing to live in comparison and detoxing from social media every once in a while.

Here's how:

1. Practice gratitude

Learn to be thankful! Even while waiting for certain prayers to be answered, always be intentional about noticing the prayers that have already been answered. So, when you see others winning, you know that your own story is unfolding too.

Finding just one thing to be grateful for each day changes the way you see your life.

2. Put your phone away

I’ve often wondered what life would look like if phones didn’t exist in our generation.

You’d only know someone got engaged if they called you. You’d only know someone bought a house if you visited them. You’d only know someone got promoted if they told you.

I remember growing up, my parents had photo albums, and the only time people saw our pictures was when they came to visit. Same for other families, too. Life wasn't constantly on display.

But today, the lives of hundreds of people can pass before your eyes in less than an hour. That’s a lot for the human mind to process.

My solution? Learn to put your phone away. It’s very healthy for your mind.

If you’re like me and your work requires you to spend a lot of time online, then intentionally create moments where you’re offline.

Sometimes I read a book, journal, spend time with my family, or work on a personal project. I even have seasons in my life when I’m completely off social media or away from platforms that aren’t necessarily helpful for my life and career (like X or Instagram). Very healing, I tell you.

Setting screen time limits has also helped me become more intentional about how much of other people’s lives I’m consuming every day.

3. Get busy building your own life

Someone once said, “The reason you feel depressed is that you consume too much. Humans were born to create.”

I don’t know whether that’s entirely true, but I do know that there’s something powerful about creating more than you consume.

It’s difficult to obsess over someone else’s journey when you’re fully occupied with your own. So, get busy!

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And finally, remember that constantly looking over someone else’s fence doesn’t give you enough time to tend your own garden.

If you want your own grass to become greener, you have to spend less time obsessing over other people’s gardens and more time nurturing your own.

Rooting for you always. ❤️

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She was telling me how much of a differentiator it has become to simply do good work, be reliable, and have a great work ethic.

She said that even the most basic things have become surprisingly rare, and because of that, they now stand out.

Things like communicating well, meeting deadlines, taking ownership of your work, and following through on your commitments are no longer as common as they should be.

It’s something I’ve noticed too. I’ve noticed that a lot of people spend so much time refining their skills that they completely neglect the attitude they bring to work.

This is not sustainable.

Work is something most of us will spend a huge part of our lives doing. We’ll probably spend more waking hours working than doing anything else, so the attitude we bring to our work will, in many ways, influence the quality of our lives and the opportunities that come our way.

And when I say work here, I’m referring to any kind of work you’ll do for people, whether that’s your 9-to-5, your internship, your NYSC PPA, or freelance clients.

Here are a few ways to stand out at work:

1. Take initiative

Late last year, I was interviewing for a content marketing role with a US-based founder.

After he had finished asking me questions about my skills and how I would contribute to the company, he asked if I had any questions for him.

So I asked this question I almost always ask at the end of interviews: “What trait would you love the person you hire to always exhibit?”

Then he said, “Someone who knows how to take initiative.”

He explained that he didn’t want to constantly spoon-feed people or tell them what to do every step of the way.

He wanted someone who could think, solve problems, and move work forward without waiting to be instructed every single time.

Whenever I start working with someone, I try to get as much clarity as possible about the scope of work, expectations, deadlines, and goals.

Once I have that clarity, I don’t wait to be reminded about every little thing. A lot of my clients have commended me for that.

2. Communicate

Communication is the lifeblood of every relationship, including the one you have with your boss (yes!).

Life happens. You can fall sick, power can go out, or family emergencies can happen. These things are a given.

But disappearing without communicating shouldn’t become your default response.

One thing I’ve learnt is that people are usually more understanding than we give them credit for.

If you’re going to miss a deadline, communicate early. If you’re struggling with a task, ask for help. If something unexpected comes up, let people know.

3. Hit your targets (and on time too)

One of the quickest ways to lose trust is by constantly missing deadlines or always having an excuse for why something wasn’t delivered.

Employers and clients want to work with people they can rely on. They want peace of mind, knowing that if they hand something over to you, it will be completed well and on time.

One thing that has really helped me hit my deadlines is living an organised life.

I use my calendar a lot. I keep a running to-do list. I break large projects into smaller tasks, and I try not to leave things until the last minute because life happens.

4. Keep refining your skills

If you want to remain valuable anywhere, you have to stay committed to becoming a little better every day.

The world changes quickly, industries evolve, and technology keeps advancing.

Since AI became a thing in my industry, I resolved to learn how to use it better and understand its limitations so I could position myself better.

The people who continue to thrive are usually the ones who keep learning. So read books, take courses, have coffee chats with people ahead of you, and find mentors.

5. Collaborate with people

I saw this quote somewhere, and I’ve run with it ever since: “Don’t compete with the people you’re supposed to be collaborating with.”

There’s a saying that if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. I’ve found that to be true.

No matter how talented you are, there will always be things you don’t know and people who are better than you at something. Go closer and learn from them.

6. Care about impact too

Beyond the salary, I’ve learnt to genuinely care about the organisations and people I work with.

That means I’m always asking myself, “Can I contribute beyond what was written in my job description?”

Sometimes that looks like suggesting an idea that could move the organisation forward, or volunteering to help with something outside my immediate responsibilities

Whether or not the organisation notices all your effort isn’t really the point. It’s more about building a standard you’re proud of.

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I’ll end with this

There’s a verse in the Bible that I love — Proverbs 22:29.

It says:

“Do you see someone skilled and diligent in their work? They will serve before kings; they will not serve before officials of low rank.”

If you want to sit and eat with Kings, you must commit to consistently doing good work!

Excellence will open doors that talent alone cannot because people recommend and hire those who are diligent, dependable, and intentional about the work they do.

Let that be your standard!

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People were doing everything they could to avoid getting a school as their PPA, and there I was, hoping that was exactly where I would be posted. 😂

I’ve always loved teaching, plus I’ve always had a soft spot for children and teenagers. So even though I knew serving in a school would disrupt the routine I’d built around running my freelance business, I was determined to do it, and do it well.

I’m glad I took that leap because it turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life.

Today, the 9th of July, 2026, my PPA organised a beautiful send-off event for me because my service year is about to end.

Apparently, it was the first time they had ever organised something that elaborate for any corps member who had passed through the school.

They kept saying I had broken a record, and while I was grateful, I was mostly stunned because I never did any of the things I did for the school, expecting to be celebrated.

Throughout the event, different students came out one after another to say kind things about me.

Some of them mimicked the way I talk and teach, which was one of the funniest parts of the day. Lol.

They also talked about lessons they remembered from our interactions and different things they liked about my personality.

Some of them said I had inspired them to work harder, dream bigger, and believe in themselves.

As I sat there listening, I sometimes found myself wondering if they were talking about me. More than anything, I felt deeply fulfilled.

I didn’t know the extent of the impact I had made until today.

The Bible says, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14).

I’ve always loved that verse because it reminds me that the knowledge, experiences, and lessons we’ve gathered over the years were never meant to stay with us.

This is why I believe we should all be intentional about using whatever knowledge or skills we have to serve others.

Which can look like:

• Volunteering to speak to children & teenagers.

• Mentoring someone who’s just starting in your industry.

• Sharing opportunities instead of keeping them to yourself.

• Telling younger people about the mistakes you’ve made so they don’t have to repeat them.

• Supporting people who are already doing work that is changing lives.

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Today’s newsletter is your reminder to show up and be a light.

If there’s something that’s been sitting on your heart for a while (something you’ve been wanting to do in service of others), consider this your sign to take that leap.

Yes, it will be uncomfortable. Yes, it will take your time, energy, or resources. But don’t let that stop you.

We may not be able to change the world, but if you can positively influence just one person in your community, you’ve done more than enough.

Now imagine the ripple effect if more of us chose to do the same.

The world needs more people who are willing to leave others better than they met them.

Enjoyed reading this? Please pass it along!

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Till next time,

Chidinma

We love the idea of having someone to laugh with, pray with, annoy a little, travel with, and ultimately, build a home and future with.

I think that’s a beautiful desire.

But sometimes, our desire (and sometimes desperation) for love, companionship, and affection can cloud our judgment if we’re not careful.

We start overlooking things we shouldn’t overlook, excusing behaviours we shouldn’t excuse, and following our feelings as though they’re always right.

Choosing who you date as an adult is something you should never take lightly.

Because if you choose wrongly, you could end up spending years recovering from different types of trauma.

But if you choose wisely, you allow yourself to build a relationship where you’re loved well, respected deeply, challenged to grow, and supported through every season of life.

So please, be picky. Be intentional! Don’t let anyone convince you that your standards are too high or that good men don’t exist. They do.

I’ve been with my partner for over two years now, and when I look back at everything that led us here, I can honestly say I chose well.

Now, choosing well doesn’t mean every day will be sunshine and butterflies. Not at all. Every relationship will face difficult seasons. We’ve had our fair share of them.

But when two people with good character and intentions meet, those difficult seasons don’t destroy the relationship. Instead, they make the relationship stronger.

In today’s newsletter, I want to share 10 qualities I believe are worth looking out for when you’re choosing someone to date.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, and it certainly isn’t a checklist that guarantees a perfect relationship.

But these are some of the things I intentionally paid attention to while getting to know my partner, and looking back now, I’m really grateful that I did.

A quick disclaimer:

Before I get into my list, I want to address something. I don’t believe in dating just for the sake of dating.

Personally, I don’t see the point of entering a relationship when there’s no desire or intention for commitment somewhere down the line.

So everything I’m about to share comes from the mindset that you’re getting to know someone you could end up marrying. Amen?

And before you say, “But not every relationship ends in marriage,” I know.

That’s not the point. The point is intentionality.

When you date with marriage in mind, you ask different questions, pay attention to different things, and make very different decisions than someone who’s simply dating for fun.

With that out of the way, let’s dive into the important qualities you should be on the lookout for when choosing someone to date.

#1: Choose someone who loves and fears God

This will always be number one on my list.

The foundation of a healthy and loving relationship isn’t chemistry. It’s Christ.

Partnership was God’s idea, not ours. So it only makes sense that the person you’re building toward marriage with should know Him, love Him, and desire to obey Him.

I’m not talking about someone who simply says they’re a Christian because they grew up in church. I’m talking about someone whose life reflects that relationship.

Everything else becomes much harder when you’re trying to build a Godly relationship with someone who doesn’t even want God.

#2: Choose someone who thinks you’re a big deal

I’ve watched too many women settle for men who merely tolerate their existence because they convinced themselves that this was probably their only chance at love. Please don’t do that.

Choose someone whose face lights up when you walk into the room. Someone who admires and respects you.

Someone who celebrates your ideas, your dreams, your gifts, and the things you create. Someone who makes you feel like you’re one of God’s best creations since soft bread. 😂

That’s how my partner makes me feel almost every day, and I’m grateful for that.

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#3: Choose someone who is teachable

One of the hardest people to build a relationship with is someone so full of themselves and never believes they’re wrong.

Every disagreement somehow becomes your fault. Every correction feels like an attack. Apologies are even impossible to get. God abeg!

A teachable person understands that they don’t know everything. So, they’re always willing to listen, grow, and apologise when necessary.

That kind of humility will save you both from so many unnecessary battles.

#4: Choose someone who wants to see you win

If you’re ambitious like I am, this is one quality you cannot afford to overlook.

Choose someone secure enough in himself to watch you grow and clap for you when you’re winning.

Life is already hard enough. You don’t want to be with someone who secretly resents your growth.

#5: Choose someone you can be friends with

Friendship is the lifeblood of every healthy relationship. Beyond the butterflies and attraction, you need to enjoy this person’s company.

Can you have conversations for hours? Can you laugh together? Can you tease each other? Can you do absolutely nothing together and still have a good time? Can you work on projects together without wanting to strangle each other? 😂

Ask yourself these questions, and be honest with yourself.

I read Waiting and Dating by Myles Munroe many years ago, and one chapter I really loved was the one on friendship.

Before I said yes to my partner, our talking stage lasted for months, and I intentionally used that time to observe.

Interestingly, before he told me he wanted to be in a relationship with me, we weren’t even friends. We only knew each other casually through our school fellowship.

So I wanted to know whether we could become friends before we became anything else. Thankfully, we clicked.

We had so much in common, our conversations flowed naturally, and spending time together never felt forced.

The rest, as they say, is history. 😂

#6: Choose someone who communicates (especially when they’re angry)

I added ‘especially when they’re angry’ because that’s when communication is truly tested.

Anyone can communicate well when everything is going smoothly. But what happens when there’s disappointment or conflict?

Do they shut down completely? Do they insult you? Do they avoid difficult conversations? Or are they willing to sit down, have the uncomfortable conversation, and work through it together?

Conflict isn’t what destroys most relationships. Poor communication does.

You also want someone you can be vulnerable with. Two people who are willing to be open with each other will almost always find a way to connect.

#7: Choose someone kind

Kind in deed. Kind in words. Kind in action. Not just to you, but to everyone else.

Kindness isn’t only found in grand romantic gestures. Most times, it’s in the little things.

So, pick the kind one, sister!

#8: Choose someone who sees you in their future

If someone constantly talks about their future and somehow you’re never part of the picture, please pay attention.

If conversations about commitment always make them uncomfortable or if every discussion about the future ends with vague answers, please pay attention.

If they keep saying, “Let’s just see where things go,” years into the relationship, you need to reassess if you’re ready to keep ‘seeing where things go’ until thy Kingdom come!

Don’t allow someone to waste years of your life while they figure out whether they want you. Your time matters.

If someone sees a future with you, their actions will eventually reflect it.

#9: Choose someone who pays attention

One of the sweetest ways people love us is by paying attention.

You talk about a movie you’re watching and enjoying, and they watch it too, so the two of you can talk about it afterwards.

You casually mention your favourite snack, and they buy it the next time they come visiting.

Those things might seem small, but they speak volumes! Love is often found in the details.

#10: Choose someone who has good friends

I’ll end with this.

I genuinely believe that the people someone chooses to keep around them tell you a lot about who they are.

If all their friends constantly disrespect women, lie without remorse, or encourage unhealthy or illegal behaviour, please don’t ignore that.

Even if they seem different from their friends, it’s worth asking why they continue to enjoy that kind of company.

The people we spend the most time with influence how we think, what we normalise, and who we eventually become.

In summary: choosing who you date is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make. So, don’t take it lightly!

Choose someone who makes it easier to become the woman God is calling you to be, not someone who constantly pulls you away from her.

Now I’d love to hear from you: what else would you add to this list?

Then, somewhere along the line, I became convinced that opening a hair studio was what I was meant to do.

Not too long after that, I picked up graphic design because I thought, maybe this is it. So, I enrolled in a six-week program to upskill.

There were a couple of other dreams and ambitions in between before I eventually found my way to writing and decided it was the thing I wanted to build for the long term.

In summary, I tried a lot of things until I stumbled on the one I wanted to commit to.

Some years back, I had a conversation with a friend who had spent a couple of weeks learning a skill before deciding it wasn’t the right fit for him.

He wanted to move on and try something else, but he felt discouraged because he thought he had wasted his time.

I remember telling him that I didn’t think there was any such thing as wasted time or effort. If anything, I thought he was getting closer to where he was supposed to be.

Why? Because every time you try something, you learn something. Sometimes you learn that you absolutely love it.

Other times, you learn that you never want to do it again. Both are valuable answers.

And who’s to say that what you’ve learnt won’t become useful somewhere down the line?

That’s why I think it’s super important that we learn to honour our trying seasons instead of being embarrassed by them.

Here are a few reasons why:

1. Clarity comes through action

Very few people wake up one morning with absolute certainty about what they want to do for the rest of their lives. Most of us figure it out by trying (e.g., me).

And even if you don’t immediately discover what you want, you’ll at least discover what you don’t want. Which is still valid!

2. It’s your first time

Sometimes we’re so hard on ourselves because we think we should have everything figured out.

But when you really stop to think about it, you realise that this is your first time doing a lot of things. It’s your first time building a career, figuring out adulthood, and making big life decisions.

So why do we expect ourselves to get everything right on the first try? I don’t know why.

But I’m grateful I’ve learnt to accept that sometimes I’ll make mistakes along the way, and sometimes I’ll change my mind about things I once believed were right for me. No need to beat myself up about it.

3. No knowledge is ever wasted

I currently have no intentions to own a fashion/hair studio, but every one of those desires and adventures taught me something I still use to this day.

Today, I can comfortably make my own cornrows. I also design some of the graphics I use for my personal brand and a few of my content marketing clients.

So you see, nothing I learnt was wasted. If anything, every experience made me a little more resourceful.

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So if you’re in a season where it feels like you’re changing your mind too often or you’re still trying to figure out what you really want, I’m writing to tell you that it’s okay.

Release the pressure you’ve put on yourself to have everything figured out right now. Just keep moving.

Or, as Dory from one of my favourite cartoons, Finding Nemo, would say, "Just keep swimming." 😁

The dots will connect!

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Enjoyed reading this? Please pass it along!

Till next time! ❤️

The blue sky disappears, and the ground is nowhere in sight. It’s a scary sight! 😅

But the interesting thing is, the plane never stops flying because of the thick clouds or turbulence. It keeps going.

And before long, it breaks through the clouds, and suddenly there’s sunlight again!

I like to think life is a lot like that.

While growing, you’ll go through seasons where almost everything feels cloudy.

You might be struggling in school, trying to figure out what career path to pursue, working hard in a business that isn’t bringing in any profit, or wondering how you’re going to clear all the bills waiting for you at the end of the month.

Whatever it is, every season comes with its own hurdles to overcome. I’ve had my fair share, too.

I remember being so conflicted about whether I was interested in my course at university that I once considered dropping out and starting over. I also remember earning very little and wondering how I was going to meet my needs. It’s all history now.

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When life gets hard, negative thoughts have a way of creeping in. If you’re not careful, those thoughts can begin to shape your decisions.

For some people, that might look like feeling tempted to take shortcuts or get involved in things they know aren’t right because they’re desperate for a way out.

For others, it might look like hopelessness (believing nothing will ever change) or even struggling with thoughts of giving up altogether and taking their own life.

The truth is, none of those paths make the situation better. Here’s what I’ve found to be most helpful in difficult seasons:

First, God’s Word. I would be lying if I told you I had another answer outside of God. He has been my comfort and my anchor through every difficult season. There have been moments when all I could hold on to was His Word, and it was enough!

• John 16:33 says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

• Philippians 4:7 also reminds us that “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

• And one of my favourites, Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Those verses have carried me more times than I can count.

Another thing we all need to remember and acknowledge is that life comes in seasons, and those seasons come and go. I know that sounds cliché and “motivational,” but it’s true.

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I once had a friend who struggled for years just trying to get by. Every business he started seemed to fail, job applications weren’t pulling through, and in the middle of it all, the bills never stopped coming.

I kept telling him that things would eventually get better, mainly because I’d seen life turn around for me. So he kept going. He pivoted several times, kept learning new things, and refused to give up.

Today, he’s in a much better place. He has a stable business, and life looks very different from what it did a few years ago.

You might not believe the above until you live it. I have lived it!

So whatever season you’re in right now, don’t stop flying just because all you can see are the thick clouds.

Keep trusting God. Master the art of continuing. And keep going!

One day, you’ll look back and realise that the sun was always there, you just had to keep flying long enough to reach it.

Till next time,

Chidinma ❤️

It was my first time eating roadside pork. It tasted so good that I kept buying more and more.

That evening, I was in serious trouble. I thought I was going to die.

My best friend was with me, so he immediately helped me get some medication. I remember taking the drugs, but it wouldn’t stop. I just continued crying because I was in so much pain.

Thankfully, between the medication and God’s deliverance, I got better.

One of the biggest ways I’ve learned to stay healthy is by being mindful of what I eat.

I’m not someone who enjoys eating out all the time. I actually prefer cooking my own meals or eating at home because I know exactly what went into my food.

It might not always be the most convenient option, but it gives me peace of mind.

The thing about roadside food is that you don’t know how it was prepared. You don’t know the quality of the water that was used. You don’t know how clean the cooking environment is. You don’t know how much salt, seasoning, or oil went into it.

Now, I’m not saying you should never eat out. Sometimes, you can decide to treat yourself to something nice, and that’s perfectly fine. But over the years, I have tried not to make it a habit.

I’ve also reduced my intake of carbonated drinks. These days, I choose healthier drinks and eat more fruits.

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Another thing to prioritise is rest. I know there are seasons when work gets busy. I’ve had my fair share of late nights trying to meet deadlines.

But whenever I can, I try to get at least seven to eight hours of sleep.

The world has somehow made sleep look like laziness, and being constantly exhausted has become something people wear like a badge of honour. That’s a big lie.

Your body and brain needs rest. You’ll often do better with a well-rested mind than with an extra three hours of tired work.

So whenever you can, please sleep! And stay away from doomscrolling on social media. It’s hurting your brain’s ability to focus.

Finally, move your body.

A while ago, I worked with a fitness and leadership coach as her personal brand strategist, and just working with her taught me so much about fitness, strength, and taking care of your body.

During our time together, I learnt that a lot of my low energy or tiredness came from simply not moving enough (I work from home, so I’m always in front of a screen).

Sitting for hours every day might not seem like a big deal, but over time, it catches up with you.

You don’t have to start exercising by joining a gym now. You can start small. Make walks more frequent, dance around your room, or ride a bicycle if that’s something you enjoy.

For me, I try to walk whenever I can, even when I could easily use a means of transportation. I also recently learned to ride a bike, so I take it out for a ride sometimes.

You will not understand the famous proverb, “Health is wealth,” until you’re face-to-face with a serious illness. It’s one of the most terrible experiences in life.

Question for you: What's one thing you intentionally do to take care of your health? Let’s chat in the comment section.

I didn't want to live with financial anxiety, struggle to afford the things I needed, or depend on the generosity of others to get by.

So, very early, I decided to educate myself about money. I was determined to understand why some people seemed to have so much of it while others constantly struggled.

That curiosity led me to buying personal finance books, watching YouTube videos, and listening to people who understood money and knew how to build wealth.

It eventually led me to a role at a financial education brand, Financial Fitness Clinic, as early as my 200-level.

Supporting the lead coach through different training cohorts exposed me to so much. I led book review sessions, participated in financial education programs, interacted with people who were also intentional about building wealth, and learnt lessons that have stayed with me to this day.

Over the years, that intentionality has brought me to a really good place financially. Now, I’m not saying I’m as rich as Otedola or Dangote yet. 😂 But I can confidently say that I’m doing pretty well for myself, and for that, I’m grateful.

The truth is, money will influence the quality of your life, whether you want it to or not.

When you don’t have enough of it, your choices become limited. You may have to say no to opportunities, depend on other people, delay your dreams, or constantly live with financial stress.

That’s why you cannot afford to leave your finances to chance! You hear me?

In today’s newsletter, I want to share some of the money habits I’ve built and nurtured over the years that have significantly improved my financial well-being.

Some of them include:

I budget every income that lands in my account

I learnt the 50/30/20 budgeting rule very early, and I immediately started implementing it.

I recently came across one of my journals from 2021, and as I flipped through the pages, I found a budget I had written for my ₦25,000 monthly salary as a content writer when I was in my 200 level.

It looked something like this:

• 10% (₦2,500) went to my tithe.

• 50% (₦12,500) went to my living expenses.

• 40% (₦10,000) went straight into savings.

When I read it, I smiled, because I remembered how intentional I was.

I did that consistently throughout my time in university. Even when my income eventually grew to over six figures, I didn’t abandon the habit. I simply adjusted the numbers while keeping the same discipline.

By my final year, I had saved millions. So, immediately after graduation, I invested a good part of those savings into my marketing business by buying gadgets that would help me work better, and I saved another portion again.

I save before I spend

One of my favourite quotes from The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason says:

A part of all you earn is yours to keep.

The first thing I do whenever money enters my account is remove my tithe and my savings. I don’t wait until the end of the month to see what’s left because, from experience, there usually isn’t much left. 😅

I do it immediately because I know that once I start spending from that money, I can kiss it goodbye.

The truth is, the world is constantly looking for ways to take money from you. There are advertisements everywhere, black tax, unexpected expenses, and emergencies. Before you know it, all your money has disappeared.

That’s why I intentionally pay myself first before everyone else gets a share.

Another habit that’s really helped me is tracking where my money goes every once in a while.

Now and then, I go through my bank transactions to see exactly where my money has been going. Sometimes I discover subscriptions I forgot about, impulse purchases I didn’t need, or spending patterns I want to improve.

I think long-term

If I told you I’ve already started saving for retirement, would you believe me? I mean, what business does someone who’s just about to turn 25 have thinking about retirement? But I am.

And that’s because I learnt very early that wealth isn’t built overnight. It’s built slowly, consistently, and over a long period of time.

One of my favourite quotes from The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel says:

Compounding only works if you can give an asset years and years to grow. It’s like planting oak trees. A year of growth will never show much progress. 10 years can make a meaningful difference, and 50 years can create something absolutely extraordinary.

I find ways to increase my earning power

Growth is non-negotiable for me.

I’m always buying books, taking courses, attending trainings, and learning from people who are ahead of me because I always aim to be in the top 1% of whatever career I find myself in.

One thing I’ve learnt is that if you want to earn more, your capacity has to increase too.

People don’t usually pay you more simply because you want more money. They pay you more because you’ve become more valuable.

Take my career as a content writer and marketer, for example. AI has changed a lot about the industry.

A lot of people became scared that they would lose their jobs, while others spent their time complaining about how unfair everything was.

Instead of doing that, I asked myself a different question: “How can I learn to use this to my advantage?”

So I enrolled in more courses, learnt how to use AI properly, improved my workflows, and found ways to become more efficient instead of becoming irrelevant.

That’s the mindset I’ve tried to maintain throughout my career.

I learnt how to sell

I once heard someone say in a YouTube video:

If you can learn how to sell, you’ll never be poor.

That quote has stayed with me ever since. For a long time, I thought selling was only for business owners. Now I know better.

Every career requires you to sell something. Sometimes you’re selling your skills, your ideas, or even yourself during an interview. You’re constantly communicating why someone should choose you over the next person.

Once I understood that, I stopped seeing selling as something reserved for entrepreneurs and started seeing it as a life skill.

With that in mind, I’ve been able to create other streams of income and sell them to people. Today, I offer one-on-one coaching sessions and sell digital products, templates, and resources.

Those are all different ways one skill has continued to pay me.

I invest in only what I understand

Currently, I don’t invest in stocks. I understand them to an extent, but I haven’t taken enough time to study them deeply, so I stay away from them for now.

Most of my investments are in real estate and other areas I understand better (which is about 30 - 40 % of my income).

One thing I’ve learnt is that you don’t have to invest in everything just because everyone else is.

I remember when a friend really wanted me to join Racksterli, an online Ponzi scheme. It was one of those money-doubling schemes that everyone seemed excited about at the time.

People were talking about the returns they were getting and encouraging others to join. But because I didn’t understand how it worked, I stayed away. Unfortunately, the platform crashed, and people lost a lot of money. I’m glad I wasn’t part of those people.

I give

10% percent of my income goes to my tithe. That’s non-negotiable for me because I understand the importance of honouring God with my finances, and I’ve personally seen the blessings that come from partnering with Him. So I don’t joke with it.

Beyond tithing, I also enjoy supporting Kingdom projects whenever I can. And one of my favourite things to do is buy thoughtful gifts for my friends and family.

Money should improve your life, but it should also allow you to be a blessing to other people.

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I prioritise financial wellness over the ‘appearance’ of financial wellness

In my final year at university, I stayed alone, and I remember some people being surprised that I didn’t spend a lot of money decorating my room.

As a Pinterest girl, trust me, I wanted to. 😂 But when I thought about it practically, I realised I only had a few months left before graduation. So I kept my room simple.

I still used my plastic table and chair. I didn’t bother buying a bed frame. I only bought the things I needed to be comfortable, and that was enough for me.

Could I have spent the money to make it look prettier? Yes! I could comfortably afford to do it ten times over.

But I didn’t see the point of investing so much money into a space I was about to leave. If I had gone ahead with it, I would have probably done it to impress my friends and get good compliments. But to what end?

One thing I’ve observed is that a lot of people spend money trying to impress other people. They buy things they don’t need because they want to look successful or fit a certain image. Me? I don’t even have the energy.

If you’re genuinely happy with your lifestyle, it’s okay to keep it that way, even when you start earning more. Every salary increase doesn’t have to come with a lifestyle upgrade. Sometimes, the smartest thing you can do after getting a raise is pretend you didn’t.

I keep learning about money

The quality of your financial life will only increase in proportion to what you know. That’s why I don’t stop learning. I spend good money buying books, paying for courses, and attending conferences and webinars.

I love learning from people who are doing well financially because I know that exposure changes how you think.

Every good financial decision I’ve made today started because I learnt something yesterday.

I save in high-yield savings accounts

For years now, I’ve been using PiggyVest to save my money. And I have different saving buckets depending on what I’m saving for.

I prefer keeping a good portion of my money in accounts that earn interest instead of leaving everything in a traditional bank account, where it barely grows.

I diversify my income

Someone once said you need at least seven streams of income to build long-term financial security.

Whether or not the number is exactly seven isn’t the point. The point is that depending on one source of income can be risky.

One of the ways I’ve diversified is by building multiple income streams around the same skill.

As a content marketer, I don’t only earn from client work. I also sell digital products, offer one-on-one coaching sessions, run trainings, sell templates, checklists, and other resources I’ve created over the years.

You can also diversify in other ways.

You could keep your 9–5 while freelancing. You could earn affiliate commissions. You could start a small business. Or you could resell products.

There are so many ways to increase your income beyond relying on one paycheck.

I save for the dry months

One of my clients taught me this, and I’m so glad I ran with it when I did. As a freelancer, I know my income isn’t always predictable. Some months are amazing, while other months are much quieter.

So I intentionally save enough money to cover at least three to six months of my expenses.

That way, when work slows down, which it eventually will, I’m not making desperate decisions because I’m under pressure.

Instead, I have enough breathing room to wait for the right opportunities instead of accepting every opportunity.

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Yaaay! You made it this far! Well done! 🥳

I hope this newsletter reminded you that money isn’t something you leave to chance. The more you understand it, the more choices you give yourself and the more freedom you create for your future.

More importantly, I hope it inspired you to see that good financial habits compound. Every budget you stick to, every naira or dollar you save, every book you read, every investment you make, and every skill you learn might seem small on its own, but over time, those small decisions add up.

After all, every mighty ocean is made up of tiny drops.

So don’t wait until you’re earning millions before you decide to become financially responsible. Build the habits now, because the habits you build today are the ones that will carry you when your income grows tomorrow.

Loved reading this? Send it to someone you consider a sister or girlfriend. ✌🏻

Ciao for now!