This isn’t a hit piece on women, but purely an observation. Men are not exempt.

Facebook groups are running rampant with all kinds of fringey and outright dangerous ideology. An echo chamber of their own making, labelling anyone who dares challenge their narrative a ‘normie’ or simply a ‘sheep’ who hasn’t fully woken up yet.

I’m not talking about declining vaccines, turning off your Wi-Fi at night or drinking filtered water. We’re way past that.

This level of hyper-vigilance and deep emotional investment into The World Stage is chronic. It’s ruining marriages and separating families. It’s affecting how people function in society.

I’m just gonna say it. This pursuit is futile, fruitless and pulling away your focus from what truly matters: Christ and Christ in you.

You might say, “but God is giving me this revelation. We need to know the enemy’s agenda. He wants us to be awake!”

To that I say, “Jesus Christ is The Revelation. His agenda is written and final. He wants you to be aware to His Spirit working within you.”

And look, I get it. Over the last six years, the world has erupted into more and more chaos (truthfully though, it has always been there). There has never been a more obvious time in history to distrust the government and just about anyone else in places of power. It can feel out of control and particularly for us parents, we don’t like how the future is shaping up for the children we are raising.

Pandemic, wars, corruption, civil unrest, scandal in the church, evil being exposed left and right—all the while you’re just trying to find socks that match, break up sibling squabbles and drink your coffee before needing to reheat it for the third time.

I do understand the feeling of wanting to know what’s going on. To feel prepared. To have it ‘figured out’, but here is where we must return to Scripture for guidance rather than thrusting the weight of the world upon our shoulders.

This is the intersection of faith and fear—putting our money where our mouth is so-to-speak—when it comes to what we say we profess about our Christian faith.

The world stage feels very heavy and yet, God knows exactly what He is doing and the most beautiful thing we have is that we KNOW how this is all going to end. This is amazing news for us. We are not without hope or victory.

So this begs the question: what do I do with all of this? What’s is God’s will for me in these times? How am I meant to process all this information?

As you read on, I want to speak to these things:

• What do we do when we are bombarded with evil and heavy information?

• How do we guard our hearts and minds?

• What is God’s will for us in all of this? (Which by the way, has been the same since the early church.)

• Am I supposed to prepare?

Before I continue, there are a few things you should know about me, if it is of any help:

I’m a 34 year-old wife mother of two young children who recently packed up our lives and moved from Australia to the USA. I share this because I get fair amount of people questioning the sanity of our decision.

I have gone down the rabbit holes. I don’t speak as someone who scoffs from afar. I know what it’s like to feel consumed with needing to know and I have family members and friends who are in deep.

This essay comes from a particularly passionate side of me, so I hope you will feel my heart through the firm tone of what I’m saying. I have seen people I love and countless women get utterly swept up into following every new wave of information, grasping for hidden meaning between names and numbers and it’s damaging their witness and their ability to be present with their families as well as co-laborers of the gospel in their day-to-day lives.

Lastly, I’m going to use a boat-load of Scripture. Alrighty… let’s go.

INFORMED VS CONSUMED

It feels inescapable. Every day there is something new to be enraged about. Not to mention the lingering of yesterday's outrage. As someone who chooses not to watch the news, I still can’t escape it. And yet, I’m told I’m privileged that I’m able to switch off. I’m ignorant and lack empathy for the suffering around me.

I’m sorry, what? Since when did keeping up with every headline equate to determining someone’s compassion meter?

A quick google search shows that as little as 14 minutes of negative news can trigger stress and anxiety in the brain.

Constant news exposure can:

• Keep your nervous system in a state of high alert—you’re often not relaxed and emotionally reactive.

• Distort your perception of the world—everything is terrible and bad.

• Build pessimism and cynicism overtime—you become attuned to looking for the negative in everything.

• Addict you to being outraged—it feels productive to have something to be mad about.

• Interfere with your daily life—your sleep patterns, conversations, the ability to laugh and be creative, all begin to dim as you hyper focus on news and negativity.

Surely, we can all agree that this is not the way of the Christian? Let’s take a look at what Scripture says in how we ought to respond:

Psalm 112:7: “They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the LORD to care for them.”

David’s response in Psalm 37, after reflecting on all the wicked get away with in this life, verse 37: “Look at those who are honest and good, for a wonderful future awaits those who love peace.”

John 14:27: “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

There’s honestly so much more Scripture I could share, but this is the posture in which we are to interact with the news surrounding us. The answer is not to bury our heads in the sand and pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s also not to keep up with every headline and venture down every rabbit hole. Being informed is not the same as being constantly exposed.

It’s completely ok not to know. To stay out of the loop. To shield our eyes and our soul from heinous things. It’s COMPLETELY NORMAL to be moved to tears upon hearing or seeing something outright evil. It reveals our humanity. It’s not the flex you think it is to be stoic in face of such horrors.

A few years back I heard Phylicia Masonheimer share a response to being asked about how to keep up with world events. She said she would only consume as much news that she could pray for. I think this is a wise approach in how we manage our time and our minds.

We mustn’t lose heart when we see evil prospering. Jesus said so himself that he has overcome the world. This is an extraordinary comfort to us! Wickedness will not be allowed to go on forever. There is an end coming to all of this and praise be to God, that he is slow in anger and abounding in love, that he gives every opportunity for us (and our loved ones) to call on the name of Jesus and be saved.

A HOLY RESISTANCE

Your mind REALLY is the battlefield. It’s where it all starts. Our perception of living is everything. If we allow pessimism and cynicism to grow in our hearts, it will cloud our ability to share the hope of the gospel, to delight in a sunset or revel in the laughter of our children. All good gifts The Lord has given us.

Discernment and being ‘awake’ is not about unveiling the plan of dark forces, it’s about understanding the work Christ wants to do through you today. In your family, your community, your city. It’s about being sober-minded, on guard spiritually, walking out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

The desire to get to the bottom of things, to get to the root of evil and prepare for ‘their agenda’ is a distraction at best and deception at worst.

This is exactly how the enemy renders us ineffective. We are so caught up in the latest plot twist, the next blood moon, the plans of the elite (whatever you want to call it), that we are no longer aware or sensitive to what the Spirit is saying in our ordinary daily lives anymore. We forget to live our lives fully present, fully engaged in the world around us because we’re simply waiting for the next big discovery… or the rapture.

If your eschatological worldview leads you to disengage with your current reality and just wait for your ticket out of here, then you’ve completely missed the point of the transforming power of the gospel and the Spirit alive in you today. We have work to do.

Again, let’s look at what Scripture says:

Proverbs 4:23: “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

Romans 12:2: “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

1 Peter 5:8: “Be sober-minded, be alert. Your adversary the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.”

As a man thinks so he is… Set your mind on things above… whatever is lovely, pure, etc. The Bible is FULL of warnings and wisdom about where we let our minds rest and what grows in the soil of our hearts.

Practically speaking, this means what we read, listen to and watch matters. There are Christians out there keeping up with every Candace Owens episode yet keeping their Bibles closed. That’s a problem. How can we discern the voice of The Lord or hear His direction if our minds are constantly consumed by reaction videos and YouTube prophets?

We must be in The Word, friends. We must draw near to His presence. There is no shortcut to the secret place. The Bible verse of the day isn’t going to cut it. If we are going to stand and endure to the end, we need to be abiding—that is to continually remain, dwell, live—in God. Our prayer life needs to be active. Our minds need space to receive His words and hear His voice.

LIVING A QUIET LIFE

Over and over again the New Testament shows us how we ought to live our lives until Christ’s return:

1 Thessalonians 4:11 “Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before.”

2 Peter 3:14 “And so, dear friends, while you are waiting for these things to happen, make every effort to be found living peaceful lives that are pure and blameless in his sight.”

1 John 2:28 “And now, dear children, remain in fellowship with Christ so that when he returns, you will be full of courage and not shrink back from him in shame.”

1 Peter 4:7-11 “The end of all things is near; therefore, be alert and sober-minded for prayer. Above all, maintain constant love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining. Just as each one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the varied grace of God. If anyone speaks, let it be as one who speaks God’s words; if anyone serves, let it be from the strength God provides, so that God may be glorified through Jesus Christ in everything. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.”

Not ONE TIME in the New Testament does the Bible say to keep watch over the government officials or be aware of their schemes. It does say to pray for them!

It’s easy to read over these verses and forget context. We have to keep in mind the time in history these letters were written. The Early Church were experiencing great suffering. They were living under tyranny. They were being thrown to lions and being burned alive as entertainment. We think it’s horrific now, but it was horrific back then. Still, the message has always been the same—remain in fellowship with God and fellowship with the saints.

We tend to downplay community and undermine the value of relationships and truly knowing people in these times. The idol of today’s culture is self. Protecting our peace is the new religion. Convenience and comfort are the sacraments. It’s completely antithetical to the Kingdom of God.

When we withdraw from the local gathering and stop inviting others for dinner within our homes, not only are we missing out on a beautiful gift that God gave us (community is His design), we are in dangerous waters. Danger, because when we isolate, our ideas and beliefs are no longer challenged, we lose touch with reality and can forget how to interact with society and we can become highly anxious, irritable and paranoid.

Also, how are you going barter for resources, food, water when the end of the world is here? (Please see joke… kinda.)

My friend, if you are doing your best each day to be surrendered to Him, allowing the Spirit to bring transformation in your life, being faithful with what and who He has put in front of you, then you are doing the will of God. Be of courage and stay humble and holy before The Lord.

TO PREPARE OR NOT TO PREPARE

Yes, but not in the way you would think.

The Bible never speaks about physical preparation, storing up food or buying up gold, but Jesus and the disciples talk at length about spiritually preparing.

I have shared enough Scripture and thought to guide you on what this may look like practically, but I encourage to seek The Lord. Ask him what he is requiring of you. Does he want you to deactivate Facebook? Start a bible study? Start a daily prayer walk? Invite one family over every month from church? Have a worship night with your family once a week? Invite that lady you see at the park every Tuesday afternoon to church? If we make room in our hearts and minds to listen, God will speak.

Take heart, friends. Jesus has overcome the world. It brings tears to my eyes to dwell on this because if we truly absorb this reality, nothing in this world can touch us. We are victorious in Christ! Our hope is imperishable.

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Hello friends,

July was full of high notes and lots of fun stuff. It’s crazy to think we are already in August. Christmas is practically around the corner! Who’s ready to break out the carols?

We experienced our first Fourth of July! 🇺🇸 Somehow we—the Australian family—ending up hosting two other families but it was so. much. fun. We had a slip n’ slide in the yard for the kids, sipped on Aperol Spritz’s and put the grill to work. We even got to play with fireworks in the street. It was something else to hear all these are fireworks popping off around us and seeing the skies sparkle with color. I am so inspired by those who are proud to be American and celebrate their heritage. It’s a big culture shock from the political climate I’m used to.

We got to take the family to Disney World! Ryan had a work trip in Orlando so after some careful planning and budgeting, we got to take the kids to experience it all. What was really special is that exactly 10 years ago, Ryan and I came to the US for a vacation and did all the Disney Parks, so it was quite sentimental to be back with our children. The downside: it was ridiculously hot and humid. DO NOT recommend going in the middle of Summer, but despite the extreme heat, the kids did really well. Stephanie, who’s three, experienced her first roller coaster and absolutely loved it. I captured it on video and it will be something I look back on and cherish. Jesse was surprisingly able to go on quite a few rides (something I appreciate about Magic Kingdom) and he loved the flying Dumbo ride. Basically anything that’s planes or trains is his thing right now.

We celebrated the man of the house this month! It seems we have a new tradition where everyone gets a special helium-filled, foil balloon on their birthday now. The party-enthusiast in me loves it. We had a very low-key celebration at home and invited a few friends over for a BBQ. Exactly how Ryan likes it.

Musings

As I’ve been spending less time off Instagram (life-giving by the way), I’ve been pondering what it means to be both mother and creative. More specifically, what does it mean for me right now? I have this undeniable urge to make things, write, sing, express myself outside of my role as mother, and yet I find my day-to-day life can be at such odds with that desire some times.

Can I do both?

Can I do it well?

How is it meant to look?

What brings me joy?

I don’t want to fan the creative flame at the expense of my children, but I also don’t want to ignore the things that make me come alive. I know the answer lies in listening to the Spirit, but sometimes it’s hard to hear. Especially when you open IG and everyone is yapping at you, telling you how to maximize this, use this hook, build your content pillars, grow, grow, grow. Are you exhausted just reading this? Taking the pressure off to optimize and monetize has been exactly what I needed to do. It’s given me the clarity to figure out how to make this sustainable. Where to focus my energy on the real work instead of reels that don’t make any long-lasting impact. Yes it’s slower. But good things always grow slow.

A note to other content creators/writers/makers: the algorithm is designed to lure you in. Do not bow. When you walk into these platforms, it’s literally like walking into Babylon. It’s a marketplace that elevates lust, materialism and vanity. You have to resist. We can be in the world and not of it, but that means our secret place with the Lord needs to be rock solid. No compromise. You can’t read the bible verse of the day and then spend 2+ hours on IG and think your walking by the Spirit. We are not as strong as we think. It’s a hard pattern to break, I’ll admit. Bricking my phone is the only thing that has helped me to maintain healthy boundaries with my phone usage. Do it His way. Trust the plan. Forget the stats. We can’t go wrong following Jesus.

What I’m Loving Right Now

Bird watching. I’m officially a bird watcher! My new neighbor generously gifted me a hummingbird feeder which I hung at my kitchen window. A couple days later and there it was, a hummingbird! It brings me so much joy and reminds me each time I see them that if God can lead a tiny little bird to find food and drink, how much more will He love and care for me?

You are going to laugh when I tell you about the cleaning product that is changing my life. Magic Erasers. Yep. I’m SO late to the party on this, but I am hooked. They clean everything. The scuff marks in my bathtub? Gone. The markings on the walls? Gone. Stubborn stains on counters and sinks. Gone. I’m in love.

Things I’m Reading, Watching, Listening To

I enjoyed a lot of JJ Heller this month! Her covers are beautiful. Particularly this one.

Still going strong on my 1, 2 & 3 John verse-by-verse study.

I recently watched the new Ride or Die series on Prime. It was good! A little too much swearing for me. Maybe that makes me a prude, but there was a lot of humor and I loved the story of friendship enduring through many difficulties.

This month has been so full of activity, that I haven’t had a lot of chances to explore new books or shows, etc. but I did manage to get the latest copy of ‘In Her Garden’ Magazine and it’s been so life-giving and a nice break away from screens.

I’m thinking of taking this newsletter in a different direction next month. I will still have the usual things that I’m loving, enjoying and learning. But I’d like to include a section for what God is teaching me. Maybe even some Day In The Life content. Would that be fun?

Please reply or comment if there is something you’d love to see more of or simply want to say hi.

Until next month, take care.

Chloe x

Whilst the catchphrase does in fact ring partially true, it is incomplete and as a millennial who was heavily influenced by this language—and in my 15+ years of discipleship—I’ve come to realize religion is not the enemy of a deeply formed life in Christ.

Forget everything you think you know about ‘religion’ because I’d like to propose that it has been commonly miscommunicated and misunderstood. Let me take you on a little historical and theological journey and by the end, hopefully you will see that both words belong together.

There is no clear origin of this slogan, though it was popularized through the revival movements of the 60s and 70s, and became widespread among college ministries such as YWAM and Campus Crusade. Arguably the very essence dates back to the 1500s. The Protestant Reformation was a hard left-turn, pushing back on salvation through works and man-made tradition. The Pietists movement through the 1600-1700s emphasized heart-felt devotion and not merely following a set of rules. Christianity was more than just a moral code. It was a personal, transformative experience.

This is a good thing! It is about a relationship with Christ. It is about knowing Him personally. All those things are true, but as I said earlier, it’s not the whole picture and this slogan carries the notion that religion is somehow bad. Religion is something to avoid. To be rebuked even. The phrase is misleading because it puts all the emphasis on one part and whilst that’s an absolutely vital part of our flourishing in God, the Christian faith itself is not an individualistic gospel.

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DEFINING TERMS

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word ‘religion’ is defined as: an organized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices.

How does the Bible define it? In ancient Greek, ‘threskeia’ means "religious worship," "ceremonial observance," or "religion". Rather than an internal spiritual feeling, it primarily refers to the external, ritualistic, and active aspects of religious duty. 1

This should not be surprising to us. When we accept Christ into our lives as Lord and Savior, not only are we reconciled to God himself, but we are invited into a body—His Body—a community of believers, a royal priesthood and kingdom family. In that family, there are value systems and practices that profess the faith (family) to which we belong. For example, the sacraments of communion and baptism, the weekly gathering of believers and choosing love and forgiveness toward others. These are defining characteristics of what it means to be Christian.

This word ‘threskeia’ has been used in both positive and negative expressions within the New Testament. Paul spoke of his strict observance to the Jewish law prior to his salvation (Acts 26:5). He uses it in the context of warning the church of Colossae against self-made religion (Colossians 2:23), and contrastingly James encourages the church in what true religion is—that which flows from a pure and transformed heart (James 1:27).

THE REAL VILLAIN

So what are we actually talking about then when we use the word religion in The Church today?

May I present to you, legalism.

Legalism is what happens when men (and women) take their interpretation of the scriptures as gospel and build a doctrine around it. Strict rules are set, high standards are created and now we find ourselves back in the dance of trying to earn our righteousness and God’s love through works.

God himself addresses His thoughts on the matter of self-made, empty religion, and what true faith in practice looks like through the Old Testament:

Hosea 6:

⁶ I want you to show love,
not offer sacrifices.
I want you to know me
more than I want burnt offerings.

It was never about religion, because God had a very particular way of doing things in the OT, and Jesus (and his disciples) made it clear that believing in Him would look and feel a certain way—a system of attitudes, beliefs and practices.

He taught us how to fast and pray.

He told us how to take communion.

He showed us baptism as a profession and ritual.

He preached not just about the attitudes of the heart, but the loving of our neighbor and importance of serving others.

We are encouraged to meet regularly, not forsaking the gathering of believers, and when we do meet, there are instructions for what that looks like.

All of this fits within the ‘threskeia’. It is ritual and practice founded from a place of relationship, but not relationship alone.

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A RETURN TO MEANING

Has anyone noticed over the last couple years how there has been a big pull to Catholicism and The Orthodox Church? Even the evangelical churches are searching for more tradition, not less of it. I wonder if in our pursuit of pulling away from ‘religion’ in all its forms, we’ve actually fractured the body, leaving believers exposed to figuring out their faith journey alone without any anchor points.

Did you know the early church believers were encouraged to pray regularly? Specifically The Lord’s Prayer, three times a day. Fasting was also very common practice—typically on Wednesdays and Fridays. They gathered every Sunday morning, often at sunrise because they worked every day and yet, through their weariness and long laboring, they still wanted to share in fellowship and communion. To some of us that may seem tedious. To others it provides the sturdiness required for longevity and a compass when we’re disoriented.

In the church I was attending before we moved to the USA, we went from taking communion once a month to every week. This happened around 2021. I’d like to say I was instrumental in that change after a conversation with my Senior Pastor, but we’ll never know and it doesn’t really matter. All that matters is God pressed it on my pastor’s heart to do this and it was wonderful. I can’t think of a better way to centre our weekly gatherings than around the body and blood of Christ. This is a ritual worth practicing.

Things that were once seen as a dry, dull empty practice have become a delight and anchor to our souls. I think of contemplative prayer, verse memorization, written liturgies, and the act of confession. Not done out of pious attitude, but because we see the value and depth they bring to our discipleship. Our flesh may fail and our feelings will definitely fail, but memorizing The Word in your heart will steady you on a rough day. Having a prayer written down when you don’t know what to pray will carry you. Confessing your sin to an elder or fellow brother or sister will break shame off your life. It’s not void of relationship with Christ. It’s buoying you to Him when your heart is weak in those moments.

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BOTH/AND

It seems to me that two beautiful things have been pitted against each other when in fact, they were always meant to complement one another.

When I was a new believer, I remember being thrown straight into the chaos of Charismania. That’s a story for another time, but I do remember a strong emphasis on being led by the Spirit alone and this overall sense that anything that was a habit, routine or written practice was somehow lacking in faith or the supernatural. That reading your bible should be a dynamic, emotional experience—one marked by constant ‘downloads’ (IYKYK). This attitude can be quite harmful to new believers because it places all the weight on experience and feeling, rather than the steadfast faithfulness of God’s Word and promises. Just because something is not outwardly prophetic or sensational in nature, does not mean the Spirit is absent.

Please don’t hear what I’m not saying. I don’t put my faith in these things. Fasting twice a week is not going to save me. Memorizing Psalm 23 will not rid me of anxiety. Praying three times a day will not get me everything I ask for. But all these practices are like little lighthouses, pointing me to safe harbor. When I’m facing the waves of life, I can pull on these ‘sails’ so to speak, that guide me to The One who does save, heal and restore.

I know the preacher’s intent now when he says those words, but I also feel like screaming, “It’s not religion! It’s legalism you’re warning against!” So no, I don’t love this phrase. Not because I don’t think relationship is an essential part of the Christian life, but because it’s not either/or—it’s both/and.

This will perhaps be my own internal angst to wrestle with, but if I can offer anything, it is this: religion is not a dirty word. Let’s stop acting like it is. Call out legalism for what it is, and rejoice in the wonder of this great grace we have been given. We are united to Christ and to one another. Our orthodoxy (belief) in Christ should lead us to right orthopraxy (behavior) and thus reveal the religion we belong to.

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Breakfast on the table

Sticky hands on my shirt

Bellies filled with food and love

Trying each day to give all that they’re worth


Doubt visits most days 

Second-guessing is the new normal

From what meals to make, to disciplinary action—

Does motherhood come with a manual?


“You’re gonna mess ‘em up if you do it that way”

“Screen time will rot their brains”

“If you love your kid, then you’d do this”

And the constant barrage of things they say


Should I tell them now, that their parents are flawed?

That the game is rigged and we’re going to fail some more?


Thank God for mercy

For fresh starts every day

For clothes that can be washed 

And all that stickiness goes away


I guess there is a manual of sorts

Not for toy rotations and bedtime routines

But for training my thoughts

Learning to be led by His peace


So when those sticky, precious, little hands

Grab my shirt for the hundredth time

I’ll remind myself once again

That despite my failures, they’ll turn out alright.

I wrote this poem in February of 2025 about three months after my second child was born, in the thick of postpartum and navigating uncharted toddler territory with my first. The overwhelm and exhaustion felt never-ending some days. Top that with the entire internet telling you how to be better, do better. Ugh.

But then there’s mercy. Sweet, sweet mercy. I read something earlier today by “Your power to mess up your children is nothing compared to God’s power to redeem them.” This is it right here. Knowing we will fail. Knowing God works through both our faithfulness and our failures to reveal his truth, goodness and beauty to our children. Trusting Him with their future. Amen.

You’re reading the first ever edition of ‘The Monthly Catch-Up’. A monthly newsletter where I share a little more casually and conversationally about what I’m loving and learning, things I’m eating, reading or listening too, and virtual chit-chat about faith, mothering, life abroad and everything between.

Summer is here in south-east Tennessee and let me tell you, as someone who is not used to a proper Winter, I am so glad we are in the warmer months!

But the humidity? Yuck. It’s worse than I thought.

Seriously loving Chattanooga in the Summer, though. There are so many great options for the kids, too. We have been taking them to lots of splash parks and local creeks. Free live music on weekends. Ice-cream for funsies. Farms for berry and flower picking. There is just so much stuff to do!

Also! This will be our first 4th of July and I’m aware it’s the 250th celebration! 🇺🇸 🎉 So pleeeease share with me the most quintessential, patriotic way to celebrate because I am ALL IN on this.

Gardening season got away from this year (sad face), but that’s ok. I’m learning and observing a lot in our yard and noticing where the sun falls throughout the day so it’s helping me map out a plan for the following year. The goal is to have raised beds chock-full of tomatoes, zucchini, herbs, zinnia, dahlias, meandering tree borders with a variety of shape and size, perennial garden beds enclosing cozy spaces. It’ll be (bee?) a haven for pollinators and our little oasis in the midst of suburbia.

I’ve been missing my friends and family back at home a bit. Where is home? When you live abroad I think your heart will always be in two places. Maybe in time that will change. I’ve felt tender lately of the reality that I’ll miss so much of what’s going on in their lives. The milestone birthday. The waiting of test results. The “drop on in for dinner”. Taking our kids to the park together. Family dinners. Ugh. This is the hard part. There’s no victim mentality here. We made our choice and I believe rightly so, but doing the next right thing doesn’t always mean it will be the easy thing.

Never in my life have I been more aware about how the female body works. Namely hormonal cycles. It’s taken 34 years of my life to truly grasp what the heck is actually going on in my body at each stage through my cycle, and it’s blowing my mind! Why did NO ONE tell me about this? I also think there is a strange phenomenon happening in thirty-something year old women right now where we all feel like we’re going a bit crazy? Yeah, it’s just hormones babe. I legit felt like I was losing my mind for a couple months. Turns out perimenopause can start 10 YEARS EARLY (brb, crying). To be fair I don’t know if that’s what’s happening to me, but something was happening.

I do feel as though I’ve found a way to manage it. My friend got me onto Floradix which I take (almost) daily, and I supplement with Lion’s Mane in my tea for help with brain fog and Blue Vervain tincture particularly around my luteal phase (hello, PMS!) because wow—I almost lost my salvation a few times before taking this.

I also took Jess, The Wholesome Mama’s course on nutrition and wellness and that opened my eyes so much to how we can support ourselves through each phase of our cycle.

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*none of the following links are affiliated. I get absolutely nothing by you clicking through. I just want to share my joy with you.

In my ears 🎧

The latest Belonging Co Album 🔥 (Particularly ‘Closer’ sung by Jessie Early, that had me in the third heaven while I was making PB&Js for the kids)

Eliza King also just released her newest work ‘A Simple, Holy Life’ and not only is her music absolutely beautiful to listen to, she’s a fellow Aussie so it’s nice to support my own! If you’re looking for soft, devotional worship then this is the gal for you.

Also been rockin’ out to this song which brings out the angsty teen inside.

In my book stack 📚

My bible reading plan…

At the beginning of the year I had a very ambitious goal of reading the bible in 100 days (haha). It occurred to me in January of this year that I’ve been a Christian for over 15 years and never fully read the bible cover to cover. On the hundredth day I was up to 1st (or 2nd?) Kings so not a bad effort! My goal is to read through it as quickly as possible to see God’s overarching, redemptive story, with a lot of grace for pause when needed. Consistency over perfection, right?

In my devotional time, I’m also (slowly) going through this verse by verse study of 1, 2 and 3 John.

Other books on rotation are:

• You’re In Good Company: a beautiful collection of essays about motherhood, hospitality, friendship and some great recipes, too!

• Church History in Plain English: sloooowly getting through this one, it’s a chunky, but full of wisdom and something I’ve wanted to learn more about.

• Why Did Jesus Have To Die?: This book by The Daily Grace Co is a great resource for the gritty questions of our faith and helping better understand The Gospel.

Books my kids are loving right now:

• We recently bought this little catechism book to teach our toddlers over meal times. I like that the questions and answers are short, and we’re planting the seeds of God’s truth and nature in their hearts. Only $3!

• They’re loving Abbey Wedgeworth’s Training Young Hearts series. I’m hoping to get the whole collection, but we regularly rotate through eyes, ears and mouths.

On my screen 📺

• The hubs and I watched The Sheep Detectives on Prime the other night and I was pleasantly surprised! It was wholesome, funny and we love a good mystery.

• This family farm on YouTube is the perfect low-stimulating content. It’s so peaceful and the scenery is just delightful. Even my kids love watching it and pointing out all the animals.

Rhythms in the home 🏠

I’m doing a new-ish thing when it comes to our meal plan and it’s this:

• Same breakfast every weekday, crepes on Saturday, cereal on Sundays

• Lunch for the kids is always the same: sandwich, fruit and protein (cheese or beef stick)

• Three main meals double batched to cover the week and Sunday usually consists of breakfast for dinner or choose-your-own-adventure charcuterie

I can’t emphasize enough how much peace and stability this has brought to our schedule! It’s also removed the ever-dreaded question of “what am I cooking for dinner, tonight?”

Now you might be thinking “yeah, Chloe—we all do that!” and to that I would say you are a wise woman! Somewhere along the way I forgot that simplicity and repetition was more than ok, in fact it’s encouraged. It’s allowed me to be more present in the moment and spontaneous when I want to be.

A few more random things I love ✨

• The bumblebees and fireflies in my backyard bring me so much joy.

• These prayer cards that sit by the breakfast bar.

• Summermaxxing: a new term I’m making up to describe making the most of the season, doing all the things with my kiddos. (Trying to be a cool mum, you know?)

• Taking more photos just because and not for the sake of posting them anywhere.

I’m about to do my first ever no-spend month in July. I’m a little nervous, but we had a few unforeseen expenses over the last couple months so I think this will be a fun challenge for us to tackle as a team. Will report back next month!

Please let me know what you’re reading/listening to/looking forward to this summer. Or share your little joys with me, I’d love to know!

Until next time,

Moving overseas and starting our life over wasn’t exactly on our bingo card, but the hand of God was truly guiding us through every step and despite the obvious challenges that come with an international move, we are feeling really settled and at peace here.

*cue the angels singing “hallelujah!”*

That being said, making friends as a 30-something adult is hard, let alone making friends in a new country!

I wanted to take some time to share some of the things I’ve been doing since we arrived here because I know many of us long for community, friendship and a village. Whatever word you want to use—we all desire to belong.

Not only do we desire for belonging, we were literally made for it. First, to belong to God and then to each other. He has designed us as communal creatures. I’m pretty passionate about this!

In fact, ever since I was a little girl, I remember being very aware of including others and wanting to make friends. Perhaps because I was an only child, but that’s a topic for another day…

I’m not saying that this list is guaranteed to give you friends instantly, but it certainly can’t hurt! I’d also like to speak to the whole extroverted/introverted thing for a moment. Making and maintaining friendships are hard no matter where you fall on the energy line. It takes work. Friendships do not just land in our laps. It’s not common to just magically click with whoever is meant to be your bestie for life. It’s awkward and inconvenient at times.

(I think we are putting way too much pressure on one person to be everything for us which is potentially why we have such a hard time feeling like we don’t have a village, but again, a topic for another day…)

Is it easy? No way. But is it worth it? Big time.

Find A Church Community

If you’re a fellow Christian then you probably saw this coming, but honestly this is one of the best ways to find community! When looking for a new church, we knew we wanted to join somewhere that had plenty of other young families. We asked the pastoral team to introduce us to other families with children similar to our kids ages. We showed up to their volunteer nights and bible studies in the hopes of meeting more people. We started attending right before Christmas so it was a good opportunity to get involved. We joined a fortnightly home group where other parents would be present, and I took it upon myself to invite other mums to the park days or local activities so I could get to know them.

Say Yes To Every Invitation

As much as we possibly could and with the exception of sickness or clash of schedule, we said yes to every invite or opportunity presented to us. We had two Thanksgiving requests, movie nights, birthday dinners, Christmas decorating parties, spontaneous family dinner nights, coffee meet ups and even a wedding!

Even as an extrovert, it has been tiresome and inconvenient at times, but I now have a few solid people I could call on for support even though we’re only seven months into our new life here. That’s pretty wild to think about.

Signed Up For Local Groups & Activities

I’m the kind of person who likes to know what’s in my area and quickly. Especially with two little kids, getting out of the house is a must. So very early on I tried a bunch of things. I got memberships to the local children’s museum and aquarium, attended a mums & bubs group, joined fitness classes that included bringing your kids, and checked out multiple playgrounds. I’ve met amazing women in all of these places simply by chatting to the ones nearest to me. I haven’t stayed in touch with all these women but a few of these conversations turned into exchanging numbers and staying in touch.

Joined The Local Mums FB Group

Now I know these groups can be dicy! Depending on the tone of the group they can be really helpful or really negative. When you are in a new area though, these groups can be a wealth of information. Best parks for toddlers. Grocery shopping tips. Favorite thrift stores. The list goes one. I actually found out about a group of Aussie’s living in the same city as me because a gal saw my FB post and reached out! From that interaction we were invited to their Christmas party as well as other picnics and celebrations. You just never know who you might connect with.

Opening Up Our Home

Hospitality is near to my heart. I truly believe gathering around the table and sharing a meal is part of the gospel. As soon as we settled into our home, we started opening up the doors to host all kinds of people. We barely had any furniture or serving bowls, but we made it work. Simple meals. A couple of candles. Soft jazz playing in the background. Most importantly, make people welcomed, loved and valued for being here.

Keeping An Open Mind

As I alluded to earlier, you’re not always going to click instantly with the people you meet. Sometimes it takes a few tries or getting over the awkward. Some friendships I’ve made have kicked off really well and others have taken a bit more work or scheduling and conversation to truly connect. Both are valuable and it can be tempting to dismiss others when it’s not happening as quickly as we would like. Of course, if it’s not reciprocal, there comes a point where you let it go and move on, but for most of us, I’d say we tap out too soon.

Being The Villager Right Away

Once I felt my capacity grow and we were settled into our home, I began to look for ways to contribute and show up in the community that was being formed around me. Dropping off some orange juice and flowers to a sick friend. Homemade dinner rolls over store-bought for our home group. Meal drop off for a newly-made friend and her fresh four-week-old baby. Inviting some families over for pizza night. I am naturally an initiator, so being the villager comes somewhat easy, I guess? These little (sometimes inconvenient!) things are helping me integrate more and more into the community and it truly is more blessed to give than receive. (Side note: if you begin to feel sorry for yourself re friendship, just begin to think about how you can love and serve someone. It’s the way of the Kingdom!)

So there you have it, friends. A non-exhaustive list of what it looks like to build a village from scratch. Nothing fancy. Just a lot of showing up and a willingness to try.

I’d love to know what are some significant ways you’ve have to build friendships or any unique ideas you have? I know this is a topic close to many of our hearts so please share all the encouragement and practical advice you’ve got!

Chloe xo

They won’t have any sugar until their two.”

“We won’t be raising picky eaters.”

“My kids will be in bed by 7pm.”

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably said some version of these emphatic statements before you became a mother, or at least early enough in your motherhood journey that your children could not talk to you to challenge your ideas.

Oh, the things we say about parenting before we become parents! 🫠

I’m no veteran to motherhood, but after walking this road now for three and half years, I’ve had some time to reflect on the ways in which I mother and the mother I was so sure I would be.

Recently I was going about our usual daily routine and as I waltzed across the room, kids happily playing with their animal figurines and constructing caves out of pillows, I had this rather sharp, *almost* condemning thought: “you’re not the mother you thought you’d be.”

I say almost because I had the choice of how I wanted that statement to land. In some ways, it’s true. I’m not keeping to the high standard I had set for myself so early on. In other ways, I’m mothering the way I thought I would and more.

We get to decide what to do with the thoughts we are given. The thought may knock on our door, but it’s up to us whether we decide to let it in. Not everything we think is true. I do not have to believe every thought that is handed to me. No, thank you.

But, in the spirit of self-reflection, and for the sake of every mother on the planet who needs to be reminded she is certainly not alone in this mission, here’s a short (ok, maybe long) list of the ways in which I mother differently:

Being calm & patient all the time

I am definitely not the softly spoken, slow and gentle kind of mum I hoped to be. Sure, I have soft moments, but I can get easily frustrated. I intervene with my kids to speed up a task and hurry them about. And of course, I’ve yelled in anger.

But I do apologize and model grace when I miss the mark. I’m continually reminded that I’m in need of God’s mercy just as much as my children are.

Neatly arranged toys on regular rotations

There is currently no plan or structure to how our toys are set out. I do have some toys stashed away in closets, but everything is everywhere and there is definitely no aesthetic or method to the madness.

But I do get to watch my kids grow, learn and create their own worlds.

Making everything from scratch

We are a household that tries to prioritize whole foods and less prepackaged snacks, but honestly right now, I would say it’s more of a 50/50 balance rather than it ideally being 80/20. Home-made weekly snacks and freshly baked bread was the goal but that has not been my story.

But I do get to keep their bellies full and ensure they want for nothing.

Having put-together outfits all the time

I love fashion and expressing myself through style so the way I dress greatly impacts me, but the postpartum body changes, hormones and process of aging has taken some of the fun out of it for me lately. I also love getting cool, quirky clothes for the kids, but like most of you, we buy what we can afford.

But I do have a few well-loved pieces I can wear over and over, and my children have clothes that fit them and keep them warm.

No-screen household

This one gets to me. We never set out to be a completely screen free household, but we did want to limit it, and at the moment we seem to have no real boundaries around TV. It has been really helpful in certain circumstances, but it has now become a source of reliance. Honestly, I think it has more to do with my own screen addiction and restlessness than that of the kids. Something I’m actively trying to pull us out of and set new rhythms.

But I do get to introduce them to childhood shows I watched as a kid and enjoy movie nights. I also get an opportunity to write and create while they are entertained.

Beautifully planned weekly rhythms activities.

I thought my weeks would be planned day by day with playgroups, activities, crafts, park days and fun adventures. Becoming a mother has progressively made me more and more type B (anyone relate?). Whilst I have a loose structure to our day, there’s no set plan to our week and I miss that. In some ways being a SAHM with a wide-open calendar is harder than having set schedules!

But I do get to come up with spontaneous adventures, potter around the house or have an impromptu mum and her bub over for afternoon tea.

My kids would be well-behaved

This one is most vulnerable to share. I am in the toddler phase, so I’m totally aware that most of what I am dealing with each day is developmentally normal, but it can be exhausting when it feels like you’re constantly correcting and disciplining and nothing comes easy. (Parents who have children that are naturally dispositioned to follow instructions are living in an alternate universe!)

God is continually bringing to my mind that my child’s behavior is not a reflection of how well I parent. My righteousness is not in how well my kids follow instruction. My righteousness and my worth is found in Christ alone and what he accomplished on the cross for me. I have the Holy Spirit to lead me in truth and grace for what is best for my kids.

So why am I telling you all this?

Because I think maybe if we were just a little more honest with each other, we wouldn’t feel so alone.

We all have areas of our life where we struggle.

We all wish we did or were doing things differently.

We are all trying our best.

We all crave to hear the words “me too, friend. You’re doing great.”

We all need Jesus and His grace.

Chloe

xo

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We know the data. We’ve seen the research. We are marketed to non-stop about what a perfect motherhood looks like.

Sensory Play. Non-toxic lotion. Protein with every meal. Low-stim shows. Sugar-free everything. I think *most* of us are doing pretty good on what it means to be an intentional mum.

Just when I’m starting to feel good about my parenting, a reel pops up telling me I need to make a fairy garden or add beef liver to my bolognese.

We are constantly bombarded by not only doing more for our kids, but being more for them too. Do better. Be better. It’s not enough.

90s mothers struggled with this too. It just came in the form of magazines, school art projects and what gifts they could afford at Christmas. Anyone remember those dioramas?

The information and inspiration age we live in has quickly downward spiraled into a consume and compare cycle. I want out of the loop. I know you do, too.

What we do in these moments, is the next critical step because feelings of inadequacy arise real quick *if* we we’re not firmly rooted in Christ.

Obviously a healthy dose of being off social media is good in every way, but the undergirding truth is this…

The measure of my motherhood is not the sum of how well I plan out our Summer programs. It’s not the sum of foods I made from scratch or the amount of sensory bins I create.

The measure of my motherhood is found firstly in Christ. I am qualified through Him. I am a daughter of God before I am a mother. Secondly, it’s the transforming work of the Holy Spirit through me that determines how ‘well’ I mother.

We love because He first loved us. He teaches us the standard of what mothering well looks like. And he gives us unlimited grace and mercy to accomplish this.

If we trust in the Lord and diligently seek Him—then through our faithfulness and our failures—Christ works in us for the benefit of our children and I can rest in that truth.

When I rest in this truth, I can joyfully choose if I want to make the fairy garden or bake bread without feeling like I must. I take on what my capacity allows and my children flourish either way.

Chloe xo

What started as a whim on Substack has grown into 60+ subscribers and counting.

This is a big deal to me.

I feel incredibly honored that someone would willingly sign up to read my words and enjoy the expressions of my heart and thought. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

After a few years hiatus of having babies, raising toddlers, being pruned and refined in the ordinary, secret places, I feel the sun rays beaming down on my creativity again—giving life and watching me bloom.

It’s scary to come up out of the dirt. It may be dark down there, but I’m covered. I’m safe. I’m learning that to be hidden is to be protected. Covered under the shadow of His wings. It’s wonderful to be tucked into the loving arms of a good father, but every fledgling has to be pushed out of the nest and learn to fly at some point.

Creating in secret is safe. But if we are all honest with ourselves, many of us create in the hope of sharing that with others—for art and creativity was made to be enjoyed together. We bear witness, proclaiming the beauty, wisdom and mystery of God’s image in one another.

But to be bare, is to be exposed. To go along with the gardening metaphor a little longer, once you pop up out of the darkness, you’re exposed to the elements. Heat. Storms. Bugs. Disease. You are doing what you were created to do—grow, bloom and flourish—but it’s never without risk.

Now 60+ pairs of eyeballs are watching me here. Hundreds of ears listening on my newly launched podcast. My IG account is steadily growing—and I’m now freaking out.

Freaking out because I don’t want to fail.

Freaking out because what if people decide they don’t actually like me?

Freaking out because I don’t want to let people down.

Freaking out because the thought of this going well is something I hadn’t considered.

The pressure to perform is trying to rear its ugly head. Work the algorithm! Give the people what they want!

The internal critic is working hard to cancel me. It’s not good enough. Yeah, but that girl already said it. There’s not enough room for you.

And my desire to people-please is a constant battle. Will they like me? I don’t want to be misunderstood.

So I find myself teetering on the edge of jumping right into the deep end, running full steam ahead or wanting to burrow back down into my hiding place. The spiritually mature version of me knows the right answer.

The gardening metaphor continues…

If you transplant a seedling, you’ll likely kill it. It can’t curl back up into the ground. Those green little leaves unfurl and reach for the light. It simply has to stay planted. Day by day the sun nourishes its leaves, feeding the roots as it continues to grow. The seedling grows slowly, but keeps growing nonetheless. Soon enough, the stem grows stronger, taller and buds begin to form. Those buds turn into fragrant blooms which turn into fruit which are a sweet taste to all who partake.

I think we are all getting the point here.

I don’t want to shortcut or sidestep what God may be doing through my own creativity. I am met with my own fears. My selfish ambitions. But coming face to face with these hidden motives does not disqualify me from the creative work. Awareness of these things is a gift from the Holy Spirit to continually cast these cares & crowns at the Lord’s feet.

This lie of needing to be free of insecurity has held me back long enough. The answer is not to wait for perfection, because we know that will never come. The way forward is to trust in the Perfector and Finisher of our faith, to continue abiding in Him and believing that He will lead us along the best path for our lives (Psalm 32:8).

So here’s to all the creative mums who over-think and are prone to perfectionistic tendencies. May we all continue to grow, bloom and flourish and allow the pruning as it’s needed.

Creating alongside you,

Chloe x

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I am too. So I sat down with my friend, Jess Raj, a holistic nutrition consultant and homeschool mum of four from Sydney, Australia. Together, we chat about the connection between motherhood, wellness, and faith.

We hit on topics like:

- Jess’s lived experience through postpartum burnout & depression

- What does the bible say about our bodies and wellness?

- If sugar and seed oils are as bad as ‘they’ say

- Practical ways to calm your nervous system in the little years

- Modern ways to observe the sabbath

There are so many little gems of wisdom, heartfelt moments and practical insight to take away from this episode. Enjoy! X

You can find Jess on substack here:

Jessica Raj

Holistic Nutrition Consultant for Pregnancy, Postpartum and Babies and Homeschooling Mama on a mission to help tired mothers eat real food again the way God designed and burnt out mothers live in rhythms and not in hustle mode.

By Jess | The Wholesome Mama

We're talking about quiet time — and friend, it's time we had an honest conversation about it.

In this episode, I'm getting real about something I wrestled with for years: the heavy burden of perfectionism around spending time with God. The shame spiral when you miss a day. The obsession with the perfect journal, the perfect spot, the perfect time of morning. Sound familiar?

So in this episode we're diving into:

• 📖 What quiet time actually is (and what it isn't)

• 🕰️ Where it came from — hint: it's not as ancient as you think

• ⛪ What devotional life looked like in the early church (this one might surprise you)

• 📜 What Scripture actually says about it

• 💡 Why your perception of quiet time might be the very thing getting in the way of actually being with Jesus

This isn't an episode telling you to ditch your Bible and your devotional journal. It's an invitation to loosen your grip on the idea of quiet time — and hold tighter to the One it's meant to point you to.

📌 Resources & Scriptures Mentioned:

• Matthew 6:6

• Mark 1:35

• Psalm 1:1-2

• John 15 (abiding in Christ)

Enjoyed this episode? Screenshot and share it on Instagram and tag me — I'd love to hear what resonated with you. And if this blessed you, leaving a review helps more mamas find the show! 🙏

In this episode, we're tackling the tension so many of us feel: how do we stay informed without becoming overwhelmed? How do we stay tender to what breaks God's heart without letting anxiety run our lives? And what does God actually ask of us in these last days — because it might surprise you.

We dig into what Scripture says about guarding your mind, consuming news wisely, and the quiet, faithful life God calls us to — even when the world feels like it's unraveling. Spoiler: your ordinary, surrendered day is the will of God.

If you've been feeling numb, fatigued, or just plain heavy lately — this one's for you. 🤍

Connect with Chloe:

https://www.instagram.com/chloe__somerfield/

Connect with Maddy:

https://www.instagram.com/maddy_gracce/

Download Bible Craft Activities:

https://payhip.com/maddygracce?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMjU2MjgxMDQwNTU4AAGnKCFraBep0lHCZsSKNk1rPYqJ68G9oRKXmzwooihrn-1RC_5I0gwl37Mmtag_aem_wT-Kz7pX7C2l0pquWqQ7Xw

Other resources mentioned:

David - movie

The King of Kings - movie

Superbook - available on Amazon Prime

We are back again with another episode! Today I want to talk about theology and why it matters for mums and how we begin to start discipling our children in the Lord. Spoiler alert: it does not have to be hard or stuffy and it’s easier than you think! You’ll hear how we go about it in our house and why it’s equally important to keep your own flame with the Lord lit. As always, thanks for tuning in. Please like, comment, share and follow if this resonated. 

List of resources for discipleship training:

BOOKS:

The Jesus Storybook Bible

“What Are My Hands/Ears/Mouth/etc For?”: Toddler Training Series by Abbey Wedgeworth

“God Rescues Me” and “God Speaks To Me” - by Kristen Wetherell

Read It, See It, Say It, Sing It - by Hunter Beless

The Apostles Creed (Fat Cat Series) - Ben Myer

Let There Be Light - Kathryn Joy Macdowall

FLASHCARDS AND OTHER TOOLS:

Armour of God and Fruit of The Spirit flashcards by Brighter Day Press

Teach Me How To Pray cards - Phylicia Masonheimer 

ABCs of Theology cards - Tiny Theologians

TV/YOUTUBE SHOWS WE LIKE:

God’s Green House (YT)

Little Lights (YT)

The King of Kings (Angel studios)

David (Angel studios)

The Chosen Kids series (Amazon Prime)

MUSIC:

A playlist for Little Disciples I created: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7oNNx52X7qj0Ka8w702bV6?si=capNw-olQbui_e0DAMnJ7Q&pi=qwtJgawpSom_r

A playlist for Mama’s Quiet Time: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2rlVq7Ff4zwfnjKly2E2hK?si=YjP08xhnShiAXNv1Ga_jkQ&pi=Ta-UC0MXSF2JT

The scene is perfect. The kids are with their Nanna. I’m at a cafe sitting by the window. Sunlight beaming across the table. I order my tea and toast. Noise-cancelling headphones go in. This is great. I finally get some time for me. To focus. To write. To create. So I read a couple of Substacks while I finish my toast. Have a quick scroll through Facebook. Check my messages in case Nanna needs me. Delete a few emails. Doodle around with my Apple Pencil. Go through my very large collection of notes which I have tried my best to sort into a semi-organised fashion. I do everything—but begin.

What am I avoiding? Myself?

What am I afraid of? A mediocre product?

What scares me more? An imperfect draft or perfectly nothing?

I read somewhere recently about accepting the thought that it’s ok to be a beginner at something. I couldn’t agree more, but does that have to be me? I want to be great at everything. Taking time to wrestle and tame the creative beast? That’s not for me. Sitting in the struggle and feeling the resistance? No, thanks. I’ve automated, outsourced and life-hacked every other part of my life. Why is art no different?

I’ve always felt a visceral reaction to the word, ‘patience’.

My husband will attest to the fact that the nanosecond something doesn’t work the way it should in our house I’m crying out for help. Yes, he is a tech genius and troubleshoots all kinds of problems—but he can’t heal my hurried heart. There’s only one Saviour for that.

You can see I have a bit of a problem. Let’s not even go there about the kids… Ok—since you asked.

You know when inspiration strikes and that idea pops into your head. Your brain is moving faster than your fingers can type trying to capture the moment—like cupping water in your hands from a high-pressure hose. It’s flowing thick and fast and it’s wild and beautiful then suddenly, “Mama I did poo-poo!!” or the baby wakes from their nap. The oven timer goes off. As quickly as the idea came it sneaks away. Living in a sea of constant interruptions. I’m tossed between decisions of making time for myself or making memories with them. And when I say time for myself, I don’t mean a selfish, bougie type of time. I mean a moment to enjoy the sun while my cup is still hot. Getting lost in a beautiful book. Going for a walk without stopping every eight steps. Playing the piano completely unencumbered by little fingers. But oh, isn’t it precious when she wants to be wherever I am? That right here on my chest is his safest place? The whiplash of mum-guilt is real. The clash of major and minor chords together make for quite the tension, yes?

Between a hurried heart, the trenches of motherhood and a propensity for procrastination, the way of the amateur doesn’t seem to fit well on me. Being a beginner is not what’s hard. The real enemy here is the inner critic. Let’s call her Tina. Tina shoots me down before I even get the chance. Every word, stroke or movement is held up to an impossible standard that she doesn’t even know the requirements for. She puts the spotlight on all my attempts and failures, yet lurks in the shadows herself. She’s always speaking to me. Hounding me. “It’s not going to be great the first time, so why even try?” She hassles and teases me. Belittles and breaks me down. I think we all know a Tina in our life.

In a world where you can have just about anything you want instantaneously, the desire to create and make is indeed a process. As much as I hate to admit it, you can’t microwave your way to becoming an artisan. Whether it’s composing, baking, painting, moulding or writing. The canvas is clear. The slate is clean. The page is blank. The clay is without form. It all begins with nothing, but it can become something. Unless you never begin. Then you will have a perfect piece of nothing. Can’t say I like the sound of that.

So I scurry on, fighting off every insecure thought like a toddler determined not to have their nose wiped (If you know, you know). Heart cracked wide open and pouring out onto the page. Tina dissipates into the shadows. The more I give into this pursuit, the less I hear her or anyone for that matter. There’s excitement and wonder. Freedom and curiosity. Creating for the joy of creating. That’s what being a beginner—an amateur is. To pursue something for the love of it rather than professional gain. May my heart remember to stay in this place and create anyway.

Follow here for more: 

https://www.instagram.com/comeonoverwithchloe/

https://www.instagram.com/chloe__somerfield/