When I was a girl, I was told many stories, and when I became a young woman, I started telling my own stories. One pattern I found with those experiences was that I would immediately identify with one of the female characters, follow her throughout the story’s development, and learn a specific lesson from her own journey -whether the lesson was good or bad.

And that is exactly why we need to choose the female characters we emulate with the same carefulness we choose our friends -because they do matter. A good female character shows strength through her femininity, not as a caricature or mockery, but as a genuine picture of what it means to go through life as a woman. Even if that character ends up in demise (i.e., is a villain), women still have something to learn from that cautionary tale. Whatever a story does, it should portray women as we truly are: Our beauty, desires, fears, ugliness, goals, and femininity. Our essence should be validated, and it should help us learn something new about ourselves. That, in my opinion, is my definition of a wholesome female character, whether or not she is a villain or a heroine; major or minor character.

With that being said, let’s dive into my top five female character recommendations and why they are good characters to study!

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One: Kristin Lavransdatter (by Sigrid Undset).

Sigrid Undset’s moving trilogy, set in medieval Norway and following the life of a fictional maiden called Kristin Lavransdatter, is a lesser-known work of fiction in the English-speaking world. Nonetheless, the story sheds a glaringly accurate light on the experiences of every girl, whether as a child, a coming-of-age lady, or an adult woman. Kristin is a normal maiden from a farming family who grows up at a time when Christianity in Norway was only a budding phenomenon. Having grown up in a faith-filled environment, she knows and at least wishes to live her Catholic faith as best as she can, but as she blossoms into a young woman, she finds the thorns of the world constantly snagging against the white garment of her soul. Her desire to experience outer society and its charms leads her into an illicit affair with a handsome knight, Erlend Nikulaussøn, while being formally betrothed to another man. After many years of fighting with her father's wishes for her, she marries Erlend and later lives as his wife and a mother to their seven sons. Kristin, throughout her life until old age, goes through many crosses that come with raising children, managing a home, and maintaining her local society; religious scruples attack her too, as she seeks to repent from her former ways and become a true Christian woman as God had always intended her to be.

As a heroine, Kristin is a passionate woman. She lives by principles that she believes in, and even when she goes astray, she always manages to keep the light of her conscience burning. Despite that, however, her initial naivety and love for the world became her downfall, both of which all women should watch against.

Women are not the only members of the human race who are tempted to love the world and its messages, but in the 21st century, the world does tempt us in unique ways. True femininity is not a popular trend now, and for some women, it can be hard to resist the message. These days, the media portrays women as just another masculine being, and all the quirks that come with being a woman (our fertility, receptivity, nurturing nature, etc.) are thrown out the window. Therefore, we end up giving in to these fears just so we can belong.

A woman’s greatest fear is to be excluded from the clan, and I experience this fear myself every blessed day. But if there’s anything we can learn from studying Kristin Lavransdatter, it’s that following the world leads to no pot of gold. Be who God truly wants you to be as a woman, and ask Him for the grace to resist desires for the world’s appraisal -because in the end, it doesn’t matter. Not at all.

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Two: Lucy Pevensie of Narnia (by C.S. Lewis).

This mention might not come as a surprise to you. Lucy Pevensie from Lewis’ children’s book series, The Chronicles of Narnia, is a beloved character among people of all ages.

As many can probably relate to, Queen Lucy the Valiant is most loved for her innocent yet brave outlook on the world. She embodies that childlike charm most people lose as they grow into adulthood.

In case you haven’t (yet) been acquainted with The Chronicles of Narnia, the overarching story follows the history, development, and conclusion of the mythical world of Narnia through the lens of its characters. The most prominent and remembered of those characters are a group of four siblings, the Pevensies, who contribute to the story from the second instalment of the series, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, to the very last.

For a time, Peter, Edmund, Susan, and Lucy Pevensie rule Narnia as graceful monarchs. While each sibling is identified by a striking quality, Queen Lucy remains the most beloved among them. Being the youngest, she demonstrates the beauty in quiet and humble leadership. Unlike her brother, High King Peter, she doesn’t call the shots, but she basks in the role of encouraging, guiding, and supporting her siblings and the rest of Narnia in whatever trouble they have to deal with. Queen Lucy is far from many of today’s heroines, who are mainly portrayed as defying the status quo and not being ‘like other girls’. But Lucy shows us that there is charm in loving your duty, however small and insignificant it may seem, compared to that of others. Her humility, in fact, is the perfume that always delighted and attracted Aslan the Great like a well-petitioned prayer.

In our own lives, the virtue of femininity and humility can be practised in the short, insignificant times of life, and God will be pleased to see us be like Queen Lucy.

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Three: Éowyn (by J.R.R. Tolkien).

Tolkien’s masterpiece of a trilogy, The Lord of the Rings, continues to captivate and inspire readers over decades and from all over the world. Personally, I always find myself drawn to his female characters, which, as most people might agree, he crafted very well. It is quite rare to see strong female characters shown without stereotyping them, and Tolkien had his ways of doing that.

This article could have featured Galadriel, Arwen, or Goldberry in place of Éowyn, but I’ve decided to talk about the latter because many women today would like to relate to this type of woman -who is brave, beautiful, resilient, caring, and feminine all at the same time.

As a summary of this character, Éowyn is a noblewoman of Rohan, a kingdom in Tolkien’s mythical Middle-earth. In order not to get into the story’s intricate geopolitics, it suffices to note that Éowyn’s major role in the story was to care for her uncle, King Theoden, and to look after her people during the brutal war of Lord Sauron.

Her fiery love for her kingdom and people led her to take up arms and sneak into battle, disguised as a soldier. In the end, this action led to one of the most significant moments in the whole story, where she defeats one of the attacking enemies and makes her iconic statement, ‘I am no man.’

This statement, I think, sums up her whole character. Éowyn is a mother to her people, and whatever she has to do to protect them, she will do. She is a feminine maiden when she needs to be, but is not afraid to turn into a she-bear when the time is appropriate. And that is what a truly rounded woman looks like.

Women today have been so stereotyped, either as frilly, delicate creatures or ferocious, angry beings, that it can be so hard to recognize our role in the world. However, as Éowyn shows us, a woman’s innate femininity should move her to care for her loved ones -no matter how that may look in different seasons of her life. The point is to be well-balanced, acting and reacting as one should in various aspects of life without compromising on femininity. When the time calls, a woman should nurture, and when the time calls, she should fight. Irrespective of what it is, she should always recognize who she is and why she is doing what she’s doing.

I am no man means that in this war, I’m fighting with something different than the soldiers -not out of pride, but of humble grace. They bring what they have, and I bring what I have. Together, we win.

That, my friends, is a good woman you have there.

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Four: Esmeralda (by Victor Hugo).

The tale of Esmeralda is more of a cautionary tale, but as I’ve said before, there is still something to learn from such stories.

Victor Hugo’s classical novel, The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, portrays a good lot of the religious, social, and political atmosphere of medieval France, but amidst all that, a poignant story unfolds with three major characters in the centerpiece: Claude Frollo, the Archdeacon of Notre-Dame; Quasimodo, his deformed assistant and the bellringer of the Notre-Dame cathedral; and Esmeralda, a young gypsy girl who dances on the streets of Paris for a living. The Hunchback of Notre-Dame mainly chronicles the intellectual and mystical pursuits of self-righteous Frollo and his struggles between lust for Esmeralda and justice against immorality on the streets of Paris.

Esmeralda, on the other hand, is a teenage girl with no direct family and whose means of living comprises street-dancing and superstitious practices, which would’ve been associated with gypsies at the time. Esmeralda naively falls in love with the captain of the Parisian guards, Phoebus, who himself is betrothed to another woman. When a night of an illicit affair leads her to court, Esmeralda ends up in the den of the justice minister, Claude Frollo, who, all the while, has been arranging to fulfill his lustful desires for her. The gypsy girl rejects Frollo’s indecent approaches, even unto the moment he has her hanged; but in the end, she never realizes her naive infatuation for Phoebus, and dies not knowing the difference between true and false love.

Esmeralda was only sixteen years of age. Hence, her internal conflict is similar to that of many young ladies today, who confuse infatuation and lust with love. Her tragic story teaches us women to keep our hearts and minds guarded against impure loves and desires -even when the man in question is as handsome as a Parisian guard.

The Disney remake of Victor Hugo’s classic showed Esmeralda in a happy ending with Captain Phoebus, but Hugo himself shows us that real life is often less of a fairytale than we think.

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Five: Sophie Hatter (by Diana Wynne Jones).

Studio Ghibli films are renowned for their incredibly real and virtuous female characters, and their 2004 animation, Howl’s Moving Castle, which is based on a novel by Diana Wynne Jones, is certainly not an exception.

Howl’s Moving Castle is a futuristic fantasy telling the story of a beautiful but insecure hat-making girl, Sophie, whose mundane life is suddenly transformed by an otherworldly reality after she is turned into an old lady by a jealous witch.

As she crosses paths with the young wizard, Howl, and helps him battle his personal and vocational struggles, Sophie’s journey is one of self-contentment, sacrifice, forgiveness, and true love. Despite her cursed condition, she was always more concerned for others. She learns to love herself, her neighbour, and her circumstances, and not only did that break her curse, but it also bettered the lives of her friends -including and especially Howl.

As a Catholic, I may not have resonated with the preternatural and occult-looking atmosphere of Howl’s character, but Sophie’s character, I admit, was inspirational. Instead of resentment, gratitude for God’s gift of ourselves, our neighbours, and our society is worth practicing, even when hard times don’t seem to call for it. Sometimes, the best way to fix something is to be thankful for other things you have that are not broken.

If you haven’t yet seen this renowned Hayao Miyazaki film, I would recommend you add it to your watch list right now!

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There you have it,

My top five favourite female characters of all time. Of course, I have many more, but who doesn’t?

Now, I pass the pen over to you: Who are your favourite female characters (film or book), and what makes them attractive to you?

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Au revoir,

Christine.

Leading up to and in the wake of my most recent birthday, I have been giving much thought to the topic of aging, in all aspects -biological, physical, psychological, and spiritual. We live at a time when Botox and facelifts are getting increasingly popular and even normalized. Older celebrities are now opting to ‘fix’ their wrinkles with cosmetic treatments that make them seem artificially younger. Moreover, the glorification of youth is now an ingrained thing. Everybody is scrambling for the next big serum, fashion trend, or face cream that will preserve their youthful countenance. Whether we know it or not, we’ve lost the meaning of beauty and isolated it to mean a youthful and perfect glow. For that reason, age is no longer a mark of wisdom, experience, and long discernment, but solely a hallmark of the end of youth. And when the only perspective of aging one has is ‘the end of youth’, society may end up sending a horrible message to its young ones… Let’s dig deeper:

‘The End of Youth’ Perspective.

I know. I get it. I used to dread every birthday because I knew that every consecutive ‘Happy Birthday!’ was a herald of my aging self -and I’m not even yet thirty years old.

Three to four years back, my past self saw aging as a bad thing. I did not like to think of an older version of myself; I dreaded every New Year because I knew my birthday would be coming up; unfortunately, I even dared to wonder what it would be like to die young rather than grow old. Yes, that was how vehemently averse I was to the natural cycle of aging.

But, thankfully, God pulled me out of that unfortunate ditch. This year, with the addition of another (grateful) year to my life, I thought about aging differently. Up until this year, I’d been looking at getting older as ‘the end of youth’, which, in a natural sense, would be a bad thing. Aging and death are evil. Humans were never made to die. Death was a punishment given to the human race after Adam and Eve had disobeyed God and ate the fruit. So, the natural aversion to this concept is normal, but again, taking it too far can be detrimental to an individual and society at large.

God writes straight with crooked lines. If aging and death now form our natural cycle in fallen nature, the keys for us to be Saints have been woven into that cycle by God. With the very same fingers He used to pronounce our judgment for disobedience, He blesses us. Contrary to popular sentiments, aging is a molder of virtue. It is a process that allows you to grow from the instability and discovery mode of youth into the steadiness of an adult person. We all know that we make more life-altering mistakes when we’re younger -which is normal, because it is by those mistakes that we learn and grow into better persons. By shaping out of youth, we become more virtuous. Like a block of marble that is carved until perfection, youth should be used to discover, repent, encourage, and learn, until with time, the individual becomes a better version of him or herself. Get it? Sounds pretty, doesn’t it?

But the sad story is that this process can be bypassed. Or worse, the process can be mistaken for being the goal itself. That is, the time, sentiments, and immaturity of youth can be taken as an achievement, and not a learning curve. For instance, I see older people nowadays trying to imitate the fashion, thinking, and conduct of younger people -as if they would earn a medal of participation by doing so. Don’t get me wrong, however: There is nothing amiss with being open, communicating with the youth, or trying to naturally preserve outward beauty as you age. I actually think we need more of that. But this becomes a problem when the learning and imitating go only one way, rickety wisdom from youth to adults.

Of course, when aging is seen as a predicament, this is the sentiment you get in society. In a world where the younger are wiser, getting old will be an occasion for shame, as opposed to one for responsibility. As you age, the development of virtue and experience is supposed to equip you to pass down knowledge to younger generations, in order to save them from the same mistakes you made. That is an act of charity which, in my opinion, ranks next to the love of a mother for her child. So, it’s quite baffling how we often miss this. I used to miss it. That’s why my reason for writing this piece is to pass down that nugget of wisdom to whoever might be reading.

The first problem of fearing aging is ‘the end of youth’ worldview. One must banish it if one wants to grow in virtue.

The Current Cycle of Youth.

Has a problem.

Growing in virtue is difficult. It’s getting more difficult now because the system of adulting has itself been broken.

Virtue is formed through years of trial-and-error. The normal cycle goes like this: You think something is the way it is; you do it like so; you fail; you learn; you grow. That is virtue-forming, shaped mainly by our experiences as life goes on and gets tougher. However, somewhere within that cycle, the nuts have been screwed out. Now, we have “adults” who have bypassed this process and ended up as childish grown-ups. And why? Because nobody encourages virtue any longer. Everything is affirming, loving, kind, etc. If you don’t happen to have parents or guardians who really love you and let you know when you’ve committed a mistake, you end up as one of these childish grown-ups. Do you get my meaning?

Now, let me clear up my thoughts again. By childish adult, I do not mean people who express childlike simplicity. That’s called childlikeness, and is in fact, a very praiseworthy attribute. Childishness is a fake substitute for it, where full-grown adults express behaviour that is typical of a child. Just think: Lack of responsibility or commitment; immature manner of speech, thinking, dress and/or comportment; limited outlook on life, etc. All these behaviours and like can be seen, forgiven, and even adored in children because we know that they are in a process and that they will grow out of it. But when children grow up still exhibiting those characteristics and maybe even glorifying them, something has broken. And it’s not just within that person, but in society itself.

Popular case study:

I have heard many complaints about members of Generation Z being the most irresponsible and unresponsive set of modern-day adults. We have shorter attention spans; are less able to interact normally in social situations; have high technology and social media usage; for the most part, are emotionally detached; seem quite unlettered in our academic and social life, even as college graduates; engage in risky behaviour; own few resources and can manage even less… I could go on, but I’m a Gen-Z. Listing this is physically painful, sorry.

While I can understand where those complaints come from, let me state that no generation does right or goes wrong out of the blue. The current cycle of youth is broken, but it didn’t break overnight. Generational behaviour is formed long before members of that generation are born (i.e., in their parents, predecessors, past societal norms, and so on). Therefore, Gen-Z is only displaying the behavioural symptoms of a disease that has been infecting modern society for the last 60-70 years. I could go further back, but for the sake of this article, I’m linking this discussion to the technological revolution. Modern adults’ lack of responsibility and responsiveness not only depicts the epidemic of meaninglessness that I spoke of in my other piece, but it also tells of the unique financial, socioeconomic, and frankly, spiritual ditch that members of Generation Z find themselves in. How can one become a mature adult when one doesn’t know the essence of his/her life? How can one grow up if current economic inflation is incompatible with home ownership, marriage, and/or starting a family, all of which have been traditional hallmarks of adulthood? How is it possible to be a socially functioning adult when, while growing up, one has been solely surrounded by screens and technological stimulation? Yes, Gen Z may not be the most amiable group of people, but they’ve had a lot of issues going for them, and again, it’s just a symptom of a metastasized cancer in society.

Using the Gen Z case as an example, one can see that the current cycle of youth needs fixing, irrespective of whose fault the damage is. Until this is fixed, people will continue to grow without ever learning; to live while striving to remain children; to glorify extended youth and ridicule maturity in others, because it shows their own failed adulthood.

Are you one like that? I certainly do have problems up that alley. But it’s never too late to re-examine.

Next:

Hyper-attention to Youth

This is a perennial problem for humans. That we pay too much attention to youth. Not just youth as in the youth, but in youth as a mindset. We focus a lot on the idea that ‘New is good. Old is bad’, ‘Out with the old, and in the shiny new’. While that may be true in many cases, if the only thing we focus on is youth, new, trendy, fashion-of-the-day, etc., not only will we burn out trying to follow every generation, but we will also end up becoming painfully superficial.

Personally, I think that there can be a balance between recognizing new things and understanding old customs as well. Neither infringing upon the other’s boundaries, but enriching each other in a virtuous way. The new thing builds on what the old has accomplished, slowly and naturally -like the making of a massive cathedral over four hundred years of sweat and hard work.

Sometimes, new is good. If you have a rusty car, you change it. If you have a country grandma who keeps squinting her eyes and has never heard of cataract surgery, it would be nice for her to learn something new and thereby improve her quality of life. But at other times, old is needed too. Most things we do to live have been tried and tested (e.g., studying, raising a family, working hard, etc.), and the comfort in those is knowing that you can never go wrong, because these old customs have time and time again made humans flourish. Old gives you advice where new leaves you blank. Grandma offers you wisdom where your young peer might give you youthful folly. Both old and new are good and can be intertwined together in a beautiful tapestry. However, if we as a society are hyper-focused on the new, we become ignorant, prideful, and miserable, making the same mistakes that our ancestors have made and repented of.

That’s why people shrink at the idea of aging and why people are trying all they can to preserve the cosmetic features of youth in their faces and figures. Now, the more you age, the more irrelevant you become. I have never seen anything more superficial.

All the while, this discussion had been on the broken cycle of current adulting, but that will never be fixed if we are unwilling to learn from and appreciate the old, whether that be past experiences, elders, or past generations. One is not supposed to copy what they did verbatim, but to learn their lessons, either by word-of-mouth or inference, just so you don’t make the same mistakes in life. For that, you need to observe the people you talk to, especially if they are older. Note their life experiences, stories, and advice, and adapt that to your life however you deem fit. You need to look closely and train your rare attention, as Anliette from The Art of Re; calls it.

It takes time to observe and learn, but it’s worth it.

Therefore, my friends,

The problem with fearing aging is this: Superficiality and lack of growth. If you are not growing interiorly, you will naturally fear aging. However non-linear it may be, you should be developing your experiences as you age, and be thankful for those experiences when they begin to show up on your face as fine lines.

Over to you,

Have you recently celebrated your birthday? What lessons have you learned over the past year? What do you think about aging?

Till next time.

Stay calm, and age with grace.

Au revoir,

Christine.

Now, let’s come to terms with this: The dawn of 21st-century modernity has brought along with ‘progress’, the tearing away of the true, the good, and the beautiful. In the name of practicality, our clothing, art, architecture, and lifestyle have been reduced to mere aspects of society, whose sole existence is to be ‘used’.

We have descended from castles, cathedrals, theatres, public squares, and residences, whose every glorious corner used to be decorated with such generous and meditative designs (e.g., Baroque), to uninspiring block-shaped structures. We have toppled from a culture of thoughtful dressing in both men and women to a culture of the ugliest and most confusing fashion trends. We have fallen from an age of artistic intelligence in music, art, and dance to an age where art is subject to every Tom, Dick, and Harry’s idea of beauty. And the pleasure of a good life? That has been left to technology to simulate while we get on with our “too busy and important lives”.

In my opinion, these and more have brought the atmosphere of our society down to the mere ordinary, a concept which everyone secretly dreads within them but cannot seem to part with. And in the name of practicality, the adornments of personal and societal living have been stripped to the bare minimum, naturally leaving the day-to-day life bland, soulless, and unmeditative. The work of aesthetics has been left to the shining sun, the green grass, the colours of the flowers in spring bloom, and the rest of untampered nature. They remain as a desperate attempt to remind us humans that beauty is real, and that Beauty Himself exists.

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The Diabolism of it all.

Everything that seeks to destroy or diminish beauty, without grave reason, is diabolical. Therefore, I am sorry to say that perhaps, the mass destruction or replacement of real beauty and aesthetics with fake, simulated pleasure, or worse, plain filthiness, has a more wretched face at play.

Even the devil, as horrifyingly ugly as he is, has a natural tendency (however much he may hate it) to take delight in beauty. That is why his most torturing punishment for eternity is to never see that One whose beauty surpasses all creation combined. Beauty reminds us of God. Therefore, be assured that the evil one is constantly working to destroy every public or private vestige of beauty. If he does not destroy it, he invents a miserable counterfeit, which turns our mind to the pursuit of pleasure for pleasure’s sake. But never to God.

Regardless, being God’s creature, we too tend to seek and cultivate beauty in our lives. And even with fake or cheap pleasure, one soon discovers the burden of it and goes on the quest to discover the real thing.

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The Missing Centers

So, why should you wonder that there is this explosion of “-cores” around us? I feel that many of these “-cores” are centers of life we miss as a society. These are aspects of life that truly elevate the spirit and make us think of the things above. The warmth and coziness of Grandma’s home? God’s love. The grandeur and regality of a princess? The inheritance we have as daughters of the King. The cherishing of study, intellectual activities, and discipline? The call to a higher life as rational beings. Need I go on?

It is clear that people are waking up to the real concept of beauty and aesthetics. But what is this concept? And what makes it so different from its counterfeit?

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The Real Thing

We all have an intuitive picture of beauty. That is, we know when we see, hear, feel, or taste something beautiful. Far from the very modern idea that beauty is objective, a sense of beauty has been infused into our souls as one of the most effective mediums of communication between God and us, and us and the world.

That being said, I believe that the adage, “Beauty is pain”, is true. Or more accurately, now it is. In Christian tradition, during the most ancient time, before Adam and Eve sinned, beauty and goodness came at no cost. They both delighted in the practice of virtue and were in constant communion with God and His angels. Then, when sin came into the story, Adam and his children became victims of this tendency to do wrong. In other words, since the sin of Adam, we humans now have to work hard to practice virtue. And what is born of the practice of virtue is beauty. So, beauty is pain.

Think of all the nice and wonderful times you’ve had in life. That day you put effort into your appearance and looked stunning. That time you chose to make a good meal and enjoyed eating it. That moment you endured the most tormenting pain of childbirth and ended up with a bundle of joy in your arms. That day you studied hard for your exam and aced it…

Do you notice the pattern? Out of effortful times comes the good, beautiful thing. In fact, once it arrives, the beautiful thing makes us forget the pain we experienced, but the fact that we went through pain to experience it makes it so much more valuable and well… Beautiful!

So, there is no quantum science to this. The real thing we seek in beauty is value. And in this life, nothing good comes easy. Aside from other aesthetic qualities, what makes true beauty different from its counterfeit is that it is born of virtue, however hard it may be to practice it.

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The Truth

The truth is that these desires for aesthetics should not be condemned. It is a good thing. I have heard many people say that sometimes, these “aesthetics” can get in the way of being our authentic selves. That these “aesthetics” are only dividing us all into boxes.

Perhaps that is true in some sense, but that is only true with respect to the modern world. The only way that people are putting themselves in an “aesthetic-box” is by trying to fit their whole life into a certain idea of how they should look. Therefore, people are really putting themselves into a “core-box”.

And why do I say that this problem is a modern problem? Because in this modern time, living an aesthetically pleasing life can feel more like wearing a costume from the past centuries. Amidst all the casualness around, a person who is always caught in proper clothing and witnessed living unconventionally (e.g., Homesteading, wearing pocket watches, owning large home libraries, etc.) may be seen as a person in a mask. Here, there is no shortage of imposter syndrome inside the heads of many individuals.

However, in the past, society was mainly this way. These aspects that we have now forgotten used to be the norm. Before the advent of social media, nobody thought that they were trying to be a certain way or trying to be “aesthetically pleasing”… They just were. It used to be normal to put extra effort into elevating the ordinary with beauty. For some persons and societies, it still is.

And that, my friends, is where the virtue lies -genuineness. If you see aesthetics as a particular way you should dress and live, only for the sake of it and the camera, you’re not helping yourself. You will experience a burnout of personality quickly. However, you may borrow ideas of beautiful living, be it from the past or present, incorporating them into your modern life as you deem fit for your personality. That too is perfectly fine.

Because we do not live in the old days, we are not obliged to look or live exactly like men and women from those eras, though it is noble to learn the discipline of creating and appreciating beauty from them. Even in these times, some cultures harbor very pretty lifestyles (e.g., the British monarchy, the Arabian elegance, African simplicity, etc.), but the goal is to understand the principle behind them, not just the look of it.

The truth is that to be enchanted with your life, it would never be satisfying to cover the superficial parts with aesthetics or “-cores”, like you would cover a cake with icing. It is much more wholesome to let beauty permeate your entire life: From superficial looks, down to heart-held principles.

That can only be done if you go back to God, Who is the reference of beauty. As a Christian, I must not be “aesthetically pleasing” on the outside just “because…”. I must draw others to think of God by looking and behaving well. Beauty is a gospel, my friends. Out of the heart cometh what the mouth (and dare I say, aesthetics) speaketh.

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The Bottom Line,

Beauty is good and noble. Never believe what is said about being an “impostor” or being “impractical” when it comes to living aesthetically. You only need to be sure why you seek beauty. Why does it matter to you?

And now, the stage is yours… I would love to know what “-core” you more deeply identify with. Are you even a “-core” lover? Let me hear your thoughts, because I definitely am!

Au revoir,

Christine.

To see this article (and many others) on my website, please visit here.

The most trying problem of our times is that we do not know God. Or worse, that we think we know God. I suppose that for the majority of mankind, the latter is the case. As we increasingly move away from the truth of God’s existence and the consequences thereof, we begin to feel a sort of meaninglessness to life. Nowadays, the meaning of life is usually understood as a profession of ideology. But what did it mean in the days of old, when, for the common man, meaning in life was instead a profession of religion? This particular question is what some of today’s youth are going back to examine.

Today, we are beginning to ask, ‘ What did grandpa and grandma do in their free time?’ And we ask this because the abundance of stimulation from the internet isn’t working. The endless stream of noise from podcasts and Spotify music isn’t working. The late nights scrolling through TikTok and binge-watching Netflix aren’t working. Not even activism for climate change, world peace, and equity is enough to give us purpose. Because it’s not really the evils outside that torment us. It’s the void within. The chest is empty, and it’s empty of that Thing that makes everything make sense. The Thing that can solve all our crises. That Infinite Being that gives our petty life endeavours that sense of… je ne sais quoi?

Without that, there is a sense of purposelessness, because in the end, we shall leave this world. So what gives? What’s the point? What is the meaning of life?

In this quest to find the answer, many have journeyed through hills and valleys of an intellectual and emotional adventure. An adventure that takes them out of this soft ‘couch-potato’ world and puts them in the world of moral and philosophical dragons, swords, dungeons, and fire -a world where there are actual stakes involved. A world where there is -for once- a serious question of life and death. A world with that sweet, sweet meaning. Exciting, isn’t it?

But this adventure requires a lot of reading and learning. And a good dose of facts. Not frequent feelings are involved, except the feeling that you’ve finally found something with grit.

It becomes exhilarating and extremely dopamine-filling… until you happen to be a woman on this journey. And soon, you find that ‘Oh! perhaps, these classical idea-thing is not for me. I must remember that it used to be a man’s world’, ‘And going back means going back from progress, isn’t it?’, ‘It has to be, because that’s what some of my man-friends on this journey are saying’…

I have similar questions, girl. And what’s more is: Are we still on that same journey to classical ideals? Or have we derailed to a backward and muddy road, in the name of seeking meaning? What are even classical ideals?

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The Quest for Truth.

Amidst all that awesome aesthetic of tweed shirts, pencil in hair, Mary Jane shoes, and dark leatherbound books, the quest to examine the classics is a quest for Truth. In other words, what did human beings do (or didn’t do) in the collective past that got or deprived them of that happy life of flourishing, as Aristotle described it?

Whether we like it or not, life is informed by experiences and cautionary tales. Since we cannot look into the future, we look into the past and see what worked or didn’t work. Human nature is the same since the fall of man -we are broken, and in need of God. However, this is a concept that has been lost in our age; therefore, it’s logical that our age has no solution for it other than self-care and activism. But what if self-care and activism don’t work? How did other citizens of the human race deal with brokenness, within themselves and without? To answer that question, many are now looking to the past, not to copy it verbatim, but to learn a cautionary tale.

Problems With The Quest for Truth

Except that for some, learning has grown into copying. And when you copy, you translate not only the good parts of something, but also the bad. This might be a shock to some: Not all ideas of the past are good. We’ve had bloody revolutions, horrific customs, and devilish heresies plaguing human beings for many years. But just because they come from the past, doesn’t mean that they are good. There’s a reason they’ve all changed -and it should remain so.

This problem of copying constitutes one side of a coin. But if you flip the coin, you find people who are looking into traditional ideas not to copy, but to learn. That is all good and praiseworthy; however, even there, danger exists. The type of danger St. John Henry Newman termed as a danger of accomplishments. If care is not taken, the quest for Truth can reduce itself to aesthetics and spectacles -to nothing but Pinterest mood boards of tweed blazers, dark academia books, and polished shoes. It will make you appear as something you are not -that is, an impostor. You will begin to dress like a scholar while knowing nothing about life. You might even begin to read about tales of St. George, Queen Esther, or Aslan, yet your way of life says nothing about those things you’ve read. People could hardly tell because your actions do not align with the noble characters in those books. Because your accomplishments have yielded no fruit. Yes, you talk a good deal about them. But the point is you don’t live them.

With all these comes the third problem: That the quest for Truth is starting to disenchant women. The reasons for this problem are many, and some of it has to do with the two phenomena just described above. It’s important to discuss this particular problem, because if the quest for Truth loses its women, the quest for Truth ceases to be a quest.

Immediately.

And here’s why.

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The Subject of Women.

Ever since God said ‘Let there be light’, there has been a lot of talk about women in the cosmos. What’s more is that it’s the kind of talk that has brought -and continues to bring- serious consequences, for good or for bad.

Firstly, let’s go back to the start. Christian tradition has it that in the beginning, Lucifer (now known as Satan) and the rest of the bad angels dismissed themselves from God’s service on account of a woman. That woman is whom Christians now venerate today as The Mother of God -whose veneration has shaped the lives and customs of the whole of Western civilization. And throughout history, women have been sung and written about, painted on portraits, and carved onto the hearts of the people they impacted -in whatever way, small or big. Even some major social events and revolutions have had the topic of women as the center of their purpose. The most notable being the suffragettes, the feminist movement, and the sexual revolution. Irrespective of the effects of these movements and others, it is quite clear that women, even in a ‘man’s world’, hold a great deal of importance. I would even say that we hold the greatest deal of importance.

The best image to give of this is Homer’s famous epic about a decade-long war (i.e., the Trojan War), which had as the center of its conflict, a woman named Helen of Troy.

So you see, women matter. We hold the key to societal direction. Wherever we go, society follows. It seems that while the men have been leading the world, women have been leading hearts. And that’s why there’s been much talk about women. If you can get to the woman, you can get to the man and child. It’s an age-old wisdom that even the devil has been using for his own evil devices. He began in the Garden of Eden, and he’s been doing it for many centuries right under our very noses.

Understanding this is important for seeing what makes women so averse to classical ideals. But first, it might be necessary to learn a little philosophy…

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The Essence of Woman.

Essence, as described by St. Thomas Aquinas, is what a thing is. All essence is derived from God, who is Existence itself. Therefore, to hate yourself (your essence, that is) is to hate God. Further, to hate yourself is to deprive yourself of God, out of this hatred for God. In this sense, the devils are said to have a perfect self-hatred. Having that, they constantly seek to instill self-hatred in the hearts of humans.

Since we are talking about women, let’s look at feminism. Ah, the one buzzword today that can either console or aggravate women. But since I am a woman, I think I have a right to say what I will about this topic.

To put it sharply: Feminism made me hate myself. It still does. It makes me hate my essence -my womanhood. Sure, it has made society realize some awesome things about women, but when a certain philosophy begins to tell me that my womanhood and femininity are just a synonym for weakness and frivolity, I can do nothing but hate myself for being a woman. In my opinion, feminism is doing the exact same thing that misogyny did to women in the past: It’s putting us, girls, in a box. This time, it’s just another box, perhaps functionally bigger and more spacious. But still a box.

Moreover, when you begin hating yourself, you begin to see God in a not-so-benevolent light. You feel alienated. You see the past as nothing but a pile of oppression with nothing worthwhile to teach you. You remain crouched in Plato’s cave of darkness and shadows, while thinking that you are in a state of enlightenment and empowerment.

Sad, isn’t it? But what if you come out? Then, the journey will begin -the quest for Truth. But even on that path lie many perils -such that I have and continue to personally battled with.

For instance…

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The Impostors in Shining Armour.

Case study:

The journey to Truth begins. You, a woman, start to understand your essence and role in the world. Sometimes, there are difficulties, but He brings you through. The more you go, the more you perceive His love for you.

But soon, you meet fellow travellers. Some of them are men, seemingly in shining armour. They look like gents and speak like gents, and the more you see them, the more you’re inclined to let go of your prejudices about men. You’re all brothers and sisters, right? Why not? Except that, after a long time, you notice that some of them are not on the same page with you. They’re not even reading the same book. You’re reading stuff about Christian virtue and Marian devotion. While some of them are reading ideology from the red-pill manosphere.

Then you start to realize: These are not men, because that would be an insult to the gentility and wisdom of Our Lord. These are impostors. Impostors in shining armour. Suddenly, the road that was so bright becomes dark. You feel scared being a woman on that road. You’re not even sure where you’re headed any longer. You begin to imagine that Plato’s cave was better. You begin to fear that instead of an ascent up the hill of God, you’re descending, with these people in shining armour, to the valley of self-hatred in another form.

Sound familiar, ladies?

To some of us women who are going back and studying our heritage and traditions, it can sometimes become even more difficult to understand God’s given role for us. Because the past wasn’t perfect. It muddled many things up. There were many good principles taken too far. And when those imperfect aspects should be condemned, we have fellow ‘traditionalists’ commending them and fantasizing about them as things that should return to our modern age.

What’s worse is that we sometimes see our very own species supporting these ideas. That is, we see women, too, trying to copy the past word for word, believing it to be God’s will.

Suddenly, women lose hope for this quest for Truth. We reach the mid-point, and we stop, thinking that the journey was a mistake. ‘As moderners, we’ve progressed away from the past for a reason, right?’, ‘So, why go back?’

But, hold on. The accurate question isn’t ‘Why go back?’. If that’s what people are asking, we’ve lost the plot. We were never meant to go back. That’s not the destination. Going back was just a path to the main road.

We’ve got to realize that the quest for Truth isn’t about going back. It’s about going up.

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The Journey Up the Ragged Hill.

After scaling through self-hatred, identity-discovery, impostors in shining armour, and a mid-point crisis, some women make it to realizing the real path, which is the upward hill. Not the muddy plain to the past, but the ragged hill to Truth.

Nonetheless, it’s an uphill battle. With spikes and thorns. Nobody said it was going to be easy. And what’s worse is that, on this road, there are no knights in shining armour to save the damsel in distress. Not even fake ones.

At this point, we now have two enemies: The worldly-wise devil, telling us to get down and embrace self-hatred; and the same impostors, telling us that the road is not up, but backwards.

We are so assailed by these two enemies that we reach a point where womanhood (our essence) becomes confusing. You then begin to ask, ‘ What is a woman?’, ‘ What does it mean?’, ‘ Who is right about women?’, ‘The past or the present?’

Some women, at this moment, give up the quest for Truth. It makes no sense, and I don’t blame them for seeing it that way. To them, relativism becomes the best answer: Anything goes. So, they get down from the upward ragged hill and return to Plato’s dark cave, where they once again find their unhappy community.

End of story.

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The Resolution.

So, the moral lesson is that women end up in this predicament of wanting to know themselves, failing to know themselves, and returning to not knowing themselves. A vicious cycle, isn’t it?

But to put it in a less literary sense, the reason that women find it harder on the quest for Truth is:

First: Popular society does not tell us the truth about women. Second: Traditional circles often misinterpret the truth about women or make the past with its atrocities seem like a complete utopia, when it was not. Third: People learning from the past reduce their lessons to ‘shining armours’ with no real consequences on their modern lives. They become impostors, and it’s no injustice that they’re often recognized as hypocrites. They contribute to the confusion. Fourth: Even when all is good, self-doubt and current societal norms and structures do not make living differently easy. Ideas about God and His commands are the most unpopular trend today. And if everyone is running towards a cliff, to run away from it is to look stupid, even if you’re doing a sensible thing. Fifth: Women on this quest for Truth are often alone or misled. They often have no guiding star or tangible example to look up to. After a while of looking for the virtuous version of Taylor Swift, one gets tired, don’t you think? Moreover, since these traditional circles are mostly male-dominated or more like a gent’s club, women often feel that the way to go is out.

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But again,

The way to go isn’t out or forward. It isn’t back either.

It’s up -go up the mountain of God.

Remember, women, where ever you go, society follows. If most of the men are not ascending, but are choosing the easy flat plain to the past, go up. You have a true Knight in shining armour to guide you, and He never fails to be a gentleman. You also have a true Mother to guide you, and she alone can show you how to be a real virtuous lady.

Women, climb up that mount, so that as Dante was inspired by his beloved Beatrice to go up, so will the men stop their delaying and be inspired too. The scent of your virtue will be a wakening call for them to man up. As you look on God, they will look on you.

And while on this journey, remember that it’s not about politics. Let’s not make the same mistake. Yes, it’s not a man’s world. But it’s not a woman’s world either. It’s God’s world. The more we realize that, the better able we’ll be to stick together in our respective roles -roles equal in dignity but different in mode.

And… that’s why women are less attracted to classical ideals than men. Few of us are looking up. Few of us are seeking virtue. The goal isn’t classical ideals. The goal is Heaven.

May we all reach there and be happy for good. Till next time, here’s something to chew on:

“ When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.

-Venerable Fulton J. Sheen.

Au revoir,

Christine.

For those who have been so unfortunate as to have read J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings only after seeing the Peter Jackson movie adaptations, your most favourite revelation in the vast and masterful world of Middle-Earth must’ve been the existence of the character, Tom Bombadil and his wife, Goldberry.

As I got to know these newly discovered characters, I became enthralled. Only Peter Jackson would know why he didn’t include the beloved characters in the original motion picture, but I am not here to berate his work, as I think he did a wonderful job putting such a big story into three engaging film instalments.

However, I am still cheerful to have stumbled upon Tom Bombadil. While reading about him in the story, an insight struck me. I was basically reading the moderner’s or pilgrim’s guide to a happy life. But before I get into any of that, I’d better explain who this cheerful character is and why he may have timeless lessons for our learning.

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Tom Bombadil and Goldberry.

The famous plotline of The Lord of the Rings follows the adventures of Frodo Baggins as he traverses the land of Middle-Earth to destroy a powerful weapon (The One Ring) and defeat the enemy, the Dark Lord Sauron. Many things occur on this adventure, and one of them includes his meeting with Tom Bombadil. Tom is an ageless man, it seems, who takes care of the woods, waters, and hills. In other words, he looks after the whole of nature. To rest awhile from the weary journey, Frodo and his travel companions are invited by Tom to stay for some time in his home. During their stay, the travellers meet his wife, Goldberry, who is told to have the most enchanting countenance. For a little while, they find peace, rest, and rejuvenation.

The Characters as a symbol.

Tom Bombadil is actually an allegory for things that the author, Tolkien, held dear to himself: One being the spirit of the English (Oxford) countryside -lush, warm, pure, alive, and cheerful. Moreover, in the story, Tom names himself the Eldest, hinting at the purity and childlikeness of his heart -because what is first in a succession of things is the purest and simplest of them all.

“ … I am old. Eldest, that’s what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Kings, and saw the little People arriving. He was here before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless -before the Dark Lord came from Outside.”

-Tom Bombadil.

Does that remind you of a certain Biblical or historical figure? I think of Adam, the first man, in all his preternatural innocence and gaiety before the evil fall. And Goldberry (like Eve) is said to be just as charming. She is the picture of a fertile, receptive, and nurturing being -the epitome of the feminine.

In the beginning, there was man and woman. Both lived in harmony and had a happy life. They knew no evil. They were pure, and their relationship was of pure love.

That being said, there might be some lessons to take away by looking into their home of warmth.

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Unity in the house of Tom Bombadil.

Even without being there in person (of course, it’s just a story), one can get a sense of the immense homeliness of Tom Bombadil’s house. Despite all the singing and merriment, there is one factor that single-handedly offered this much enchantment to his home: Unity between the masculine and feminine.

Have you ever been in a home where the man and his wife are in constant argument? I have, and trust me, the home ceases to be a home in all cases. You feel every time that perhaps you should leave the place. Something always feels awry, as it would in a house divided. Tension takes the place of relaxation, and far from being peaceful, you feel like you must always be on defense -even when the argument has nothing to do with you.

On the contrary, in a house united, all you may want to do is lie back and laugh -literally. To have no worries, even if, in reality, you do. You almost feel obliged to let all those anxieties go away.

That’s just what I sensed while reading the delights of Tom’s house. The chapter tells of Tom and Goldberry’s harmonious work, and none envied the other. Both loved each other for their worth and not their work. Goldberry was proud of her husband; and Tom was proud of, as he would say, his pretty lady. What bliss to see that before your eyes!

Unfortunately these days, man and woman have grown to envy each other. Neither are enchanted with each other’s mysteries. Now, the popular sermon is: ‘Men and women are exactly the same’, ‘Nothing to see here’, ‘Men have nothing to protect. Women have nothing to nurture’, ‘The one is just as the other’…

How glum. No expression of diversity in the way God made us. Many a home has been ripped in two because the man is pulling it one way, and the woman is pulling it the other. Admiration is now envy. No enchantment, just strife.

But if there’s one thing I learned from Tom and Goldberry, it’s that the secret to a happy life is, first and foremost, the union of the masculine and feminine. That’s the foundation. If you keep envying men (or women), you can never be happy, because to be so would be to change your very DNA.

The master key is to be one. Not legion.

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Devotion in the house of Tom Bombadil.

Speaking of union between man and woman, the union must be genuine. Not just a kind of, ‘I’m putting up with you for the sake of harmony’. We all know that never works. It equally makes life into a hell, just in a much more quieter way. Devotion must exist -devotion to God, your work, and your neighbour.

A chapter exists where, in an almost trance-like state, Tom sings of his wife:

“I had an errand there: gathering water-lilies, green leaves, and lilies white to please my pretty lady, the last ere the year’s end to keep them from the winter, to flower by her pretty feet till the snows are melted. Each year at summer’s end, I go to find them for her, in a wide pool, deep and clear, far down Withywindle; there they open first in spring, and there they linger latest. By that pool long ago, I found the River-daughter, fair young Goldberry, sitting in the rushes. Sweet was her singing then, and her heart was beating!”

-Tom.

Goldberry had also sang like praises of her husband.

Now, not every woman has a man as generous and poetic as Tom Bombadil; and not every man has a woman as charming as Goldberry. We live in a fallen world, not a fairytale. Plus, even if you love someone, life and its hardships can often strip you of time to sing love songs, poetry, and compliments to your spouse or friend. However, it is important to note, especially in such an intimate relationship as marriage, that the key to happy living is to try to find the good attributes of the other and focus on that, even if just quietly. And the good thing with the virtue of devotion is that it does exclude love to the easy times. We must all learn to be devoted to our duties as husband, wife, citizen, child of God, etc., even when the object does not seem loveable.

That, I say, is true devotion. This can reap nothing but happiness because all virtue comes from God who loved us first. When you are always happy and devoted on the inside, love songs do not be sung. You’ll radiate so much love from you that it’ll almost be blinding to your neighbours, both friend and foe.

“ There is the great lesson of ‘Beauty and the Beast’, that a thing must be loved before it is lovable.”

– G.K. Chesterton.

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Hospitality in the house of Tom Bombadil.

Hospitality, like all other natural virtues of human beings, is one more thing that has become commercialized. That is, ‘As long as I’m not getting paid, why should I care?’. We are all guilty of it -that individualism that reduces society into a cold working machine. Moreover, because of the structure of our society today, we may not have the opportunity to host, out of the blue, unknown strangers in our home -most times, for very good reasons. However, this does not excuse modern man from being hospitable -perhaps with our time and resources. Yes, we are individuals, but we also form a society.

I will not go along telling you about how hospitable Tom and Goldberry exhibited themselves to be in the story. I have already hinted at that earlier. But the significant lesson I noted was that a selfish life makes an unhappy life.

You may not be a philanthropist or a humanitarian, but there are small ways you can make a difference in society -either on the individual or on the communal scale. There is this lie today that unless you are raging activist, you are not making good of yourself. But in the history of the world, society has mostly been changed or made better by silent working. Or, as you may have heard, by the creative minority:

A man quietly doing his business (whatever that may be) properly. A nun or priest muttering prayers and offering sacrifices to God in a cloister or chapel. A mother living a hidden life while raising up little souls for God. All of these little deeds -that are really mighty ones- can work greater good for society.

And that is my idea of being hospitable. Of course, by all means, we must be externally generous to our neighbours when the right time calls for it. However, I think that being generous with the duties already meted out to us can work even mightier goods.

Responsibility -without obsession- in the house of Tom Bombadil

Perhaps, one of the most loveable things about Tom’s house is the sweet balance of security and childlike leisure. As you see in today’s world of businessmen and businesswomen, mostly rushed and sleepless because of the responsibility of maintaining work, there has been a psychological development of workaholism in our minds. Most -especially myself- find it taboo to be free and have spare time. Always constantly looking to be busy and loathing the business at the same time.

But one of the lessons I found while reading about Tom’s abode is that your business will never be worth it if you do not realize why you keep it in the first place. In other words, you should work to live -not the other way round.

Tom sure had a mighty responsibility. He was responsible for taking care of nature and ensuring their smooth running. He was tasked with being a steward of the earth and of his wife, and he did it so well. But as Goldberry said of him:

“ Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow. Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow…

The trees and grasses, and all things growing or living in the land, belong each to themselves. [But] Tom Bombadil is the Master. No one has ever caught old Tom walking in the forest, wading in the water, leaping on the hill-tops under light and shadow. He has no fear. Tom Bombadil is master.”

-Goldberry.

‘All things growing belong to themselves…’

I suppose that statement sums it up. You can keep life’s business running without obsessing over it. Because one day, we shall depart this earth and someone else will replace us. The world will keep going long after us, and even if our duty now is to engage with the cares and worries of the day, we must look to more eternal things as the final goal.

All things growing belong to themselves, and God is Master. So, as a poor little human being, I only need do my part, do it well, and leave time to be happy!

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In summary,

This is one of the reasons I think fairytales are important. They give us an example of what a truly good person and life is all about -albeit it fictional. Sometimes, fairytales help us see what it can be hard to see in the real complicated life. The key is that these stories are simple. And the simpler one becomes, the more he or she draws closer to the Ultimate Good, who is God.

Main takeaway: Read about Tom Bombadil! I’d love to know your thoughts about him and Goldberry.

Au revoir,

Christine.

Visit Website here.

At last, the time has come to pen another cozy read! The last few months have been chaotic, and in all honesty, continue to be. A lot still happens in my own little but quite significant life. However, with the arrival of Autumn, I have to keep reminding myself that a good life is the one that is well-spent, doing the things that matter. The falling and decaying brown leaves remind me that all meaningless toil will come to a pointless end. So amidst all the chaos of the mundane life, I revel in the opportunity to slow down and chat with you. Right now, I may not have an audience like that of mainstream celebrities, but whoever’s listening (or reading) out there, how’s your autumn going? How did your summer go?

Since I’m the one talking now, I’ll tell you all about mine…

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Upcoming Book: Clara’s Gift

The big project!

If you are close to me, have my direct contact, or have been anywhere near my Instagram, you’ve probably heard of my latest musing.

After getting the first inkling of a story -about four years before present- I embarked on a journey to write a book. Not that it was the first time I was going on such a journey. I had gone on one many times and aborted the project halfway. However, this particular endeavour shone with so much potential that after writing the first draft, I realized my dream to have it on the bookshelf.

And thanks be to God, I’m still very much determined.

Following many midnight hours of writing, tears, sweat, panicking, writer’s blocks, and energy drains, I’d finally ended up with the first draft of the story. And over the course of last summer, I spent time editing, giving, and getting feedback from my closest friends about the development of the story. And I am proud to say: My team and I are making good progress.

So why did I even decide to write the book?

Since I got into reading about twelve years ago, I’ve been looking for that ultimate cozy book, filled with a little bit of everything about life, especially coming-of-age life. Once you have romance, faith, family, home, love, friendship, seasonal living, and other wholesome themes in a book, you’ve got me. However, I have only been able to find a handful of books like that: A book that gets me thinking about its themes days (and sometimes, years) after reading it. A simple yet rich book.

But in a world where vulgarity is exalted the most, we are unfortunately inundated with reads that cannot be published without festering plain obscenity in them. And you would think that children’s/YA books would be spared from this, but it is in those that you find the most criminal content.

Moreover, whether you notice it or not, we now live in a society steeped in materialism, hedonism, and nihilism. As my close friend pointed out to me, these doomsday philosophies permeate our current literature today, and engaging with those is not only incompatible with a Christian mind; it also corrupts our imagination with a bleak reality that isn’t even true.

So with all that frustration, I had to take up the pen and write the ultimate book that I (and I hope others) would read:

It’s a coming-of-age novel set in historical England (post-war), but more importantly, it centers around characters going through what every coming-of-age person experiences: the quest to find meaning in life and hold onto what already matters. Aesthetically, it’s a combination of visual themes from ‘Little Women’, ‘Pride and Prejudice’, and ‘The Sound of Music’.

Like the sound of that? I hope I’ve got you interested! However, I won’t give too much away. To save the mystery. If you want to find out more, consider visiting here, or better, subscribe (for free) to my street team. That way, you’ll be able to get updates about my publishing journey and sneak peeks into the novel itself! What’s not to love, hmm?

Next…

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Christine’s Adventures.

That is actually the name of a society formed by me and a couple of very good friends. P.S.: I did not name the group.

Aside from book-writing escapades, I’m glad to have been on many adventures (local but impactful) during the same summer. And the most edifying thing in life is to have friends who have the same affiliations as you and can accompany you while you answer many questions in life.

The birth of ‘Christine’s Adventures’ began after a three-day Catholic retreat with the Dominican order. While at their serene estate, situated in County Tipperary (Ireland), life felt like an Oxford/light academia experience: learning about Christian history, sipping tea, and discussing all things intellectual with habit-clad monks and nuns. Whilst on that stimulating escapade, I reconnected with many friends and formed bonds with new ones.

However, returning from the retreat was like returning home from Narnia. We all wanted to talk about it -constantly. So out of nostalgia, friends and I formed our own society for the purpose of discussing all life questions, and critiquing culture/art. One of us was being cheeky by naming it ‘Christine’s adventures’, despite my protests. But in reality, aren’t we all on our own adventures?

Over the summer, we’ve visited the National Art Gallery in Ireland, which has many collections of paintings from many eras and art movements; the Chester Beatty Library, which contains collections of ancient artefacts (even some of the oldest manuscripts of the Gospel) owned by Chester Beatty (1875-1968). He was an American mining billionaire and philanthropist. He owned a rare private library, featuring old and modern collections of books and manuscripts from many cultures. We’ve also been to the National Museum of Ireland, from which I learnt a lot about Irish Christian civilization.

Those are the main journeys, which I will never forget because of the deep conversations we had while traversing the halls of paintings and artefacts. On the quieter days, we’ve sat over lunch and tea, talking about life, dreams, faith, contentions, and everything else in between. I have been praying for virtuous friendships for a very long time, and for once, I can tangibly feel that my prayers were answered.

I am immensely grateful.

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Finding New Places and Cultivating New Languages.

In the Georgian-styled streets of Merrion Square in Dublin, there sits a house called the Central Catholic Library. At first, it was a little hard finding them open because me and my friend, Hannah, always visited when its big red doors were locked shut. However, upon our first successful visit, we discovered that the library was actually maintained by people we were acquainted with.

Note: In Ireland, you get a lot of surprises like that.

Of course, with that, we became more invested in the place. The library is a volunteer-operated house of archived books. Most are on Catholic theology/spirituality, and include both modern and older books. Some books even date back to medieval times! It was founded by a Catholic priest in 1922, whose painted portrait can be seen upon entering the house. The house is tall and big, sporting that preserved 1700s/1800s interior design, and what makes it more impressive is its tall bookshelves. The leather-bound books give the interior a sort of cozy, dark hue that reminds me of Professor Kirke’s House in The Chronicles of Narnia.

This is not just a library, it’s also a house of Catholic intellectual cultivation. My friend and I took Latin classes (very important to us as Roman Catholics), and I even gave my first seminar on prose and novel-writing.

In the midst of all that, we formed deeper bonds with the friends that maintain the place.

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Podcasts and Radio Shows.

Over the summer, the second biggest thing after my publishing project was a new adventure I began with RadioMaria Ireland. After having an interview on their show about life as a Catholic young woman in the 21st century, I decided to begin a podcast on their platform as well. From July to September, I recorded a series of shows featuring Christian stories and the moral lessons they impart. The show was called ‘Christian Tales’, which you may check out here.

Being on the Radio was something I considered way out of my league. That is, until I began doing shows. Usually, one would think that media and publicity is something for celebrities. While that may be true in many cases, that might not be so in others. Depending on the platform, you will gain more or less publicity. But as a Christian, publicity should not be your first goal in seeking to speak in the media. One should be, first and foremost, aiming to impact people and learn the craft of effective communication.

That is what I could both give and get, respectively, from RadioMaria Ireland. Hence, I appreciate the hands-on opportunity I got to experience at the station, and the support I received from the staff. Since the Radio channel is solely run on the efforts of volunteers, anyone with the stamina can step up to the plate and impact hearts with their voices and stories. In fact, if you’re reading this and feel called to do that, don’t be shy. Feel free to visit their website.

And even after a couple of months as a radio show host, I still escaped the slightest bit of fame. I am not a celebrity, and I hope never to be one. I can still walk around the streets as a nobody to the world, but a somebody to the people I love.

May I get an ‘Amen’?

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Graduation and The Beginning of a New School.

One thing I should really be grateful for is the closing of a chapter in my schooling and the opening of a new one.

I recently graduated with a second-class honours in physiology from University College Dublin. Due to my stressing over book-editing during the days leading up to the graduation, I have to say that I may not have been well prepared to enjoy that blessed day. Nonetheless, in hindsight, I am truly grateful to have closed a chapter of my life and entered a new one.

A month later, after the graduation, I began a one-year master’s in Public Health, which will get me hands-on experience in engaging with the public on health matters. I am particularly interested in nutrition, as it is the closest thing to home. I mean that literally and metaphorically.

I love food. Not only does it nourish the body, but it can also bring people together. Having dreams of being a homebody someday, with a family to nourish and communities to help, public health was the best way to get an idea about that. This intention is currently undercover because, as you probably already know, the academic sphere can sometimes be alien to the whimsical dreams of a Christian girl…

Please remember me and my studies in your prayers.

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Alright,

I should probably shut up now. If I go on talking (or writing) about what my summer was like, this article may turn into a novella. What about you? How was YOUR summer?

I’d love to know!

Carpe diem,

Christine.

After years of looking for my perfect book, I couldn’t find it. And the ones that came nearest to it often had unworthy content. So, I decided to write that book myself!

Ladies (and Gents), I present to you the coming of my debut novel, whose title is All Things That Lay Between Our Little Worlds. It’s a historical fiction/romance set in 1950s London. It’s imbued with themes of friendship, brotherhood, romance, family, and care for the outcast. I always explain its vibes as Little Women and The Sound of Music combined in one book! With a sprinkle of Pride and Prejudice, and a dash of Belle.

This novel has been under construction for close to three years, believe it or not. Its gestation time is now coming to a close, and at last, it is time for its birth into the world. I am currently in the editing phase; hence, its release will not be until next summer.

And this is where you come in…

I am going to take the leap of faith and self-publish this novel. Hence, please consider offering YOUR precious prayers for its success. In return, I will be sure to give you updates on the progression of its preparation and release as the time grows closer.

For now, what YOU can do is subscribe -for free- to my street team to get updates, which will include the story premise, character profiles, and behind-the-scenes production updates. And eventually, a free sample of the first couple of chapters, and a chance to win an Advanced Readers Copy (ARC) of the full book.

I am hoping to build a team that will make this book, yours and mine, a dream come true.

Sign for my Street Team For Free!

Yours Truly,

Christine Mako.

For the past months, I’ve been diving deep into the biography of the family of St. Therese of Lisieux, the Martins, a common family that lived in 1800s France. Though the Martins were what I would describe as an upper-middle-class family, their life inside and outside the home was marked by an angelic simplicity that was quaint to find among persons of their station. By simplicity, I do not mean the gross egalitarian minimalism we see today among people who despise anything that resembles hierarchy or beauty. On the contrary, the Martins’ family life involved the enjoyment of ordinary moments and the pleasures of nature, relatives, education, and religion. Monsieur Martin, Therese’s father, understood that the more he surrounded himself and his family with beautiful things, from the furniture in the house to their attractive evening walks, the more their spirits would be raised to the things that are above. M. Martin did not care to bring his children out into the world, to attend big parties or balls as a form of recreation. He thought it wasn’t needed. And rightfully so, not because these things are bad in themselves, but because he knew that recreation is supposed to make one holier by recreating the soul. Being the sensitive man he was, he could therefore understand that it was within the simple walls of a Christian home that one came nearest to heaven.

Does anyone mirror that thought? I do. Even though I am currently away from home, I find myself best recreated in innocent soul-refreshing amusements that don’t drain me but keep me connected to the Things Above, just like M. Martin. Even if you are extroverted, I’m sure you can agree that sometimes, you need to be alone. Not in dead, sterile silence, but in an angelic silence of the soul that lifts your heart higher. We live in a noisier world now. With the advent of industrialization and technology, there is almost no absence of external sound. And even internally, we worry about many things and have so many ignored desires that it’s difficult to keep the peace of the faculties. So, in the end, many people are walking around as living soundboxes of noise, never praying, never reflecting on more important things than the latest TikTok trend.

In order not to get sucked up into this mess, it’s important to realize that a simple ‘nothing-much-to-do’ life is not bad. In fact, if done well, it can lead one to sanctity. Great Sanctity!

” Do few things. But do them well. Simple joys are holy.” -St. Francis of Assisi.

So, how do you recreate yourself if you’re a kind of woman who gets stressed or disoriented in overstimulated environments? What are ways you can meaningfully celebrate the simple life you love?

Let’s begin…

Note: The fuller version of this article may be seen on my website.

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Taking Long Bus or Train Rides To Nowhere.

Yes! What’s not to love?

If you’re like me, who loves taking long rides, this might be for you.

I live in Ireland, which is called the Emerald Isle for no small reason. It’s picturesque green fields dotted with daffodils and daisies are such a pretty sight when looking out the window of a moving bus, car, or train. In more occupied areas in the city, you may not see stretches of green meadows, but erections of small shops, Georgian-style houses, tall black Victorian lampposts, gothic-style churches, and aesthetic cafes, along with some modernized shopping malls, pharmacies, grocery shops, etc. No matter the weather, staring out the window of a moving vehicle at all these can be such a calming and therapeutic thing to do. Not only does it give me time to think, be inspired, and daydream for a while, but it also helps me know the area I’m traveling in a little more. However, the more natural the landscape, the better, because then it draws my mind even higher than earthly affairs. I may even pull out my Rosary while on such journeys or offer up some mental prayer to God.

There’s no need to be scared or embarrassed. Irrespective of location in the world, it is mostly possible to get on a bus ride without any particular stop, destination, or intention, but to examine a new area you haven’t been to. If you’d like to be more pragmatic, which is quite understandable, you may decide to go somewhere far away and book a bus or train for it. Most times, I may take long walks or just get on a long bus ride for no serious reason but to think and meditate. Work and studies interfere, so it may not be often, but it’s sometimes a to-do on my list!

Sitting Down at a Beautiful Cafe for Teatime with Yourself.

This wholesome activity takes the second prize from me. I only regret that I do not live in France, the land of heavenly food and pastries.

As a lover of cakes, pastries, and tea, my best time during the day is that ‘eleven ‘o’ clock-spot’ when you get to have a cup of tea (and sometimes, a biscuit or two), just before lunch. Not only does this refresh me during work and study, but it gives me a few spare minutes to reflect on what has been done and what has to be done later. It is a pleasurable oasis of leisure, small but mighty, enough to rejuvenate me with purpose and inspiration to continue my work before the next break.

For some, this time isn’t eleven o’clock, but perhaps three o’clock during afternoon tea, or six o’clock when the day’s work is over.

For me, a nice way of recreating during these breaks is to walk into a nice-looking (and smelling) cafe and have a cup of tea, or hot chocolate, and a pastry -scones are my favourite! In most of the cafes here in Dublin, the layout is quite relaxing and contemplative. Aside from the background conversational sounds and cafe music, I can look at the view outside or the landscape paintings on the wall, or the different books on the bookshelf, if there is one. For the ten to twenty minutes that I sit down for that cup of tea, I can also have some free time and mind to reflect on anything the Lord puts on my heart.

Christmas, Easter, All-hallows day, and other major seasonal times are the best for this, as cafes and restaurants will have themed interior decor and themed recipes on their menu to celebrate the season. I usually find it a treat experiencing what they have to offer. It’s a small thing, but nice nonetheless, especially if you live away from family.

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Visiting and Praying in an Awe-Inspiring Church.

Don’t forget the only True Friend!

What’s life without God? What’s recreation without prayer?

I do not do this as often as I should like, but one praiseworthy thing to do as a hobby is to visit a beautiful church you haven’t been to. And while at it, bend your knee in prayer.

God is our Only True Friend. He’s the only One that can satisfy whatever desires we have in our hearts. It is good to experience picturesque scenery, nice pastry, nice paintings, nice cafes, but all of that is vanity without God. No matter how much we engage in these things, if we are heavily laden with sorrows of the heart, whatever they may be, those will remain for the greater part if we do not leave them at the feet of God. Of course, you do not have to walk into a physical church, but if God is there in actual flesh and bone in the tabernacle, why not? Amidst these innocent pleasures, you may stop at a church nearby, if possible, and pray a little, leaving your anxieties to Him Who really cares. In the end only He has borne with our imperfections, infidelities, and sinfulness. He’s the Only Friend who can read our hearts and minds. He’s the Only Friend who can do something about our misfortunes.

I like walking into nicely built churches to lay down my burdens and to admire the architecture: The high dome ceilings, the stone sculptures of various saints, and sometimes, real-life relics of them too!

The venture is always worth it, and I’m sure it will be for you too.

Taking an Intentional Walk -In a Huge Park, Field, Museum, or Gallery.

Walking is good for you, body and soul. It’s a good form of low-impact exercise, and it helps you quietly reflect, no matter where you are.

Ireland is full of many acres of fields, dedicated as parks, vast stretches of green, leveled shrubs, sometimes lined with towering trees. There is no better way for me to spend an early morning or evening leisurely walking through these lands, sometimes, imagining myself in a woodland fairy tale, and at all times, conversing with God. You may not do these with only parks, but any space with quiet visual or intellectual stimulation can help you calm or de-stress from a usually busy or overstimulating environment.

My biggest inspirations and biggest thinking moments are gotten from times like this. I aim not just to mindlessly exercise but to engage my mind and soul in the activity as well. This sort of activity, however, may not be so nice when it’s raining. And we introverts just love that rain, right? When all seems gloomy outside, there is one type of recreation I know will never let me down…

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Cozying Up with a Good Story.

And a good cup of tea or hot cocoa to go with it! Any accompanying hobby, like knitting or sewing, adds the cherry to the top of the cake too.

Like most people, I love disappearing into another world, seen through the eyes of a character(s) who may not be real but, if written well, can embody real human goals, desires, fears, and emotions. The effect of a good story (either in a book or film) is to teach us a good lesson while being entertaining and impactful. While this hobby is nice and is most people’s favourite, I have to distinguish between settling with a good book or film for an hour or two and marathon-watching a screen for the whole day. The latter is not recreation, it’s just plain sloth. In this current world, there is a warped idea that entertainment should be something continuous and that if you want more, just keep watching! Though that is apparently possible for many people’s schedules, it isn’t a healthy way to go through life, constantly being stimulated with visual content. Too much of everything is not good. That is particularly true for this sort of hobby, because it can quickly become addictive (I’m speaking of novels too), especially in a world that encourages fatal escapism.

That being said, while I like to relax with a good book or film for some time, I try not to continue in it for more than two hours. If not, it will quickly defeat the purpose of my recreation. I cozy up with it to relax, not to feel drained and bored with myself in the end. In this matter, the quality and quantity of what is being consumed matter.

The purpose of a good story is to reflect on the deeper truths it teaches after reading or watching it. You shouldn’t be overstimulated to brain-death.

Speaking of overstimulation, let’s talk about:

Siesta!

The beloved afternoon nap has to take its last and rightful place because when all is said and done, one needs to take a good nap to wash all that amazing energy down.

I grew up in a Siesta culture, and while some members of my family can do without this tradition of afternoon naps, I cannot. I have never been able to, for long periods. It may be due to my low-energy body or not, but after lunch, there is that swooning drowsiness that calls me to bed for a little snooze. After one hour and so of it, I wake up more refreshed for a nice evening.

This event is what I plan my day around. Not only do I need it physically, but it helps me continue to stay focused in mind throughout the rest of the day. Siesta has actually been said to improve brain health.

Therefore, I have mentioned this as a hobby. It really should be something that you enjoy doing if you do. I do not mean that one should lie in bed for the whole day, but whenever one can, there is no harm in taking rest during midday. If there is one thing that has been zapped from people’s minds today, it is that rest (even at night) is a superfluous engagement that should be set aside for ‘more important things’. While sometimes, this is genuinely true, what I am against is people advocating it as the norm.

In a deeper meaning, taking a Siesta helps me come to terms with the fact that life is not all work. When all is done, we still have to draw back and leave it in the hands of God, without Whose blessing, he that builds, builds in vain; and he that watches, watches in vain.

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Therefore,

I’ll draw back here and leave you to tell me what types of slow-day hobbies you find engaging. What are the simple ways you celebrate life without draining your social or mental battery? I’d love to hear from you!

Till next time.

Au revoir,

Christine.

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From time immemorial, I have heard this phrase, ‘Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.’ I have never really thought much about it until recent years in my life, because until recently, I have lived my life with women

Though I’m blessed to have two parents in my home, my mother is the most present, since my father is often busy with work. So, I was raised mostly by my mother, and my only brother is six years younger than me. For first-year high school, I went to an all-girls school, and even when I changed to a co-ed school in the second year, I always naturally found myself in girls’ circles. All my best friends were and still are girls.

Though I couldn’t have it any other way, sometimes, I wish I did, because that would make me a little bit more normal when I engage with the opposite sex…

It would, right? Or is it just me? Is there something overtly different between my makeup and the makeup of the other sex that makes it so hard to have friendships with them? Should I even be trying to have male friends? Can boys and girls be friends, to begin with?

It depends on what I mean by ‘friends’, and regarding this topic, it would be best to start by defining the word and understanding the conditions for friendship. For this, I think I can borrow a little bit of wisdom from C.S. Lewis.

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Friendship between different sexes.

Lewis defines friendship as the bond between two or more people, which arises when the parties discover a common goal, ideal, or interest between them. He explains it as two or more people who ‘see the same truth [or lie]’ -whatever that may be- and chase that idea side-by-side. The natural ‘getting-to-know-each-other’ thing that comes later comes as an accidental consequence of this bond. Now that we have defined friendship in the eyes of Lewis, it would be good to think about how this, in its pure sense, could foster between two people of the opposite sex.

“When two people who thus discover that they are on the same secret road [common interests], are of different sexes, the friendship which arises between them will very easily pass into erotic love. Unless they are physically repulsive to each other, or unless one or both already loves elsewhere, it is almost certain to do so sooner or later.” -C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves.

The first time I had read that, I paused. But when the thought had settled in my mind, it began to resonate. Indeed, how could I develop such a close bond with a boy without growing some type of feeling?

Later, in the chapter, Lewis gives a reason for this statement. He isn’t afraid to admit the difference between the sexes. From his words, I would imply that ‘men talk men stuff’ and ‘women talk women stuff’; therefore, both cannot be pure friends, because there is nothing to be friends about. In other words, men and women just happen to care about different things. Men talk about subjects, women talk about people. Does this mean that boys and girls should never, and in fact, never do talk to each other? I would reply that Lewis states that the only two loves that can exist between the two sexes are Eros (Romantic love) and Affection (as between a brother and a sister).

Is that controversial? Offensive, even? I encourage you to think about it, as I am now. I don’t know about you, but in all the “friendships” I’ve had with the opposite sex, it’s either I considered him a brother to me or that he happened to be one of my crushes.

This phenomenon, regardless, troubled me and continues to do so. But, I have newly learnt that trying to bridge the ‘friendship-gap’ between men and women brings more harm than good. Boys and girls cannot be friends in the same way that boys can be friends with boys, and girls can be friends with girls. And it’s okay. It’s normal.

Lewis states that:

“ Where the sexes, having no real shared activities, can meet only in Affection and Eros, cannot be friends, it is healthy that each should have a lively sense of the other’s [the other sex’s] absurdity. Indeed, it is always healthy.”

“At a mixed party, they [girls] gravitate to one end of the room and talk women’s talk to one another. They don’t want us[boys], for this sort of purpose, any more than we want them. It is only the riff-raff of each sex that wants to be incessantly hanging on the other. Live and let live. They laugh at us a good deal. That is just as it should be.”

What a blessing it was to have somebody say that. I had to finally start unlearning the idea that I was somehow dysfunctional for not being able to have male friends. If you have the same “problem”, don’t worry. I say to live and let live. Do not try to force deep friendships with the opposite sex, especially if you find nothing to engage with on common ground. Of course, if it happens naturally with a certain man, hats off.

Now, it may seem that the question posed at the beginning of this article is answered. You may be thinking that I have leveraged C.S. Lewis’ thought to say that men and women cannot be friends. And perhaps, you are right in thinking so. For me, it only makes sense. It is either I consider a man a ‘friend’ (i.e., a brother to me), or I have feelings for him, or I don’t even consider him as anything at all. Perhaps a stranger or an acquaintance, but nothing more.

That being said, how do we deal with that? Of course, boys and girls were not meant to live on separate planets. But for the life of me, how do we live together in the same world without having internal crises?

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Understanding “why?”

I once heard a clergyman of mine say that boys and girls of this age are becoming too familiar with each other, and I thought to myself, ‘Whatever does he mean? Should boys and girls not be friends? Isn’t that too sexist to think?’ However, after I recalled the reasoning that I’ve outlined above, I realized that the statement made sense. Some of the implications of the opposite sexes becoming too familiar with each other are heartbreak, low self-esteem, and the destruction of the differences between them, so that you have women wanting to become men these days, and vice versa.

The only way you can truly appreciate the beauty of one thing and differentiate it from the beauty of another is if you have those two things separate. However, in this age, we have striven to destroy the differences between the sexes by amalgamating spaces for boys and girls into one, and glorifying masculine women and feminine men. Therefore, the beauty of the male and female has become obscured. It has become this blurry brown pool of mire that bogs down the esteem of either sex. You find girls misunderstanding boys, and boys misunderstanding girls. At the end of the day, you have either of them hating the other and questioning their own self-value: Girls demeaning boys while trying to earn their approval, and boys ridiculing girls while suffering from chronic loneliness and sex addiction.

We know this. However, when we hear that boys and girls, in most cases, should really have separate spaces and should not try to unduly force themselves into the other’s, we shrink and say ‘that’s sexist!’ But, is it? Shouldn’t it be encouraged for the purpose of treating the problem?

So, why should boys and girls, for the most part, have separate spaces of learning and socialization?

An American Catholic prelate, Venerable Fulton Sheen, had once said something that I think would be a good answer. In one of his telecasts, titled ‘Courtship’, he explained that, in their adolescence especially, boys and girls ought to be separated on many occasions, or else, there will be a malformation of either of them, leading to overt self-identity crises later on. This may also apply to the sexes as they grow up. In fact, he never speaks of friendship between boys and girls. Though he does not call them by name, the only two loves he speaks of between the two sexes are affection and Eros, mirroring Lewis’s deduction.

Hence, according to Ven. Fulton Sheen (and Lewis), in order to appreciate the other sex and live harmoniously with them, the way to go is not to try to be like them, or to invade each other’s spaces. Boys and girls can have harmony and come together beautifully. It happens naturally in society, and doesn’t have to be forced. But first, there must be something that separates us.

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Real Relationship Between the Two Sexes

After all I’ve said, does it mean boys and girls should never speak to each other? And that those who have friends of the opposite sex are doing something wrong? Of course, not.

Firstly, the real conclusion is that for boys and girls to flourish, there should be spaces that allow for either sex to live as a woman or a man, without tension. The two sexes will obviously meet in various societal occasions like work, college, hobbies, family occasions, and church; however, it is important for either of them to establish themselves as what they are before ‘going out into the world’, over and over again.

Therefore, perhaps, boys and girls, men and women, are not supposed to be friends, outside the loves of Eros and Affection. Trying to force it, as I have reasoned, leads to more harm than good. I think that boys and girls can be lovers. They can also be purely fraternal, or maybe just acquaintances. However, at least it has been proved in my own life that it is nearly impossible to develop a deep friendship with the opposite sex and have it stay that way. I will never be able to interact with a boy in the same way I would interact with a fellow girl, but I had to learn that it’s alright like that. In this age, it certainly doesn’t feel so, but it’s perfectly normal.

And before we close, I’ll give you a visual example, in case you think me mad:

If you’re familiar with Louisa May Alcott’s story, Little Women, perhaps, you can get a good picture of what I’m speaking about. Laurie was like a brother to all the March sisters, most especially Jo and Amy March. However, as soon as the relationship between Laurie and Jo began going deeper, it started to do something to Laurie’s heart. Jo rejected Laurie’s feelings and chose to remain fraternal with him, but Amy accepted his romantic confession later on.

Do you now see what I mean?

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So. What is my final say?

Men are not from Mars, and women are not from Venus.

It seems that way because we look like different species of the same creature. But God made us like that and placed us both on planet Earth. Therefore, we can best co-abide with each other by acknowledging our differences and not trying to force something between ourselves that was never meant to be. Culturing male friendships the same way one cultures female friendships can be likened to walking a tight rope. It will be very hard not to fall on either side. If a certain man is not romantically related to you, it is best to treat him as an acquaintance, or if you know him long enough, a brother.

But trying to change who you are for the sake of some hypothetical male friendship, or envying other women who seem to have it cool with the guys, will only break you. That was the lesson I didn’t know earlier, and how much heartbreak it would have saved if I had known!

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Do you agree with the reasoning above concerning relationships between the two sexes? Do you have anything to add?

Until then.

Au revoir,

Christine.

Within and outside the Catholic Church, St. Joan of Arc is universally revered as one of the most prominent figures in the history of France, both politically and religiously. Despite how chivalrous she was, she remains an icon of femininity, especially to women who, perhaps, happen to find themselves in unfeminine roles or tasks. Like the Biblical Judith, Joan of Arc was a most unlikely but perfect choice of God to bring victory to His people, while preserving her innocent womanliness.

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A Brief Background.

Joan of Arc was the daughter of a tenant farmer. She lived in a small village in the north-east region of France, called Domrémy-la-Pucelle, and was a humble peasant girl, reported to have great personal piety. Around the age of 17, she began receiving messages from whom she referred to as ‘her voices’. Among these voices we now know to be St. Michael the Archangel, St. Catherine of Alexandria, and St. Margaret of Antioch. They commissioned her to lead the French army to victory against a siege by the English. At that time, there was heavy political instability in France because of the 100-year’ War, which posed the threat of an English invasion.

Joan of Arc obeyed her call and then embarked on the hallmark mission to save France, which she did with the help of God and ‘her voices’.

By no means was she a feminist, contrary to popular opinion. She was a humble girl, not the type of woman you would see on shows like ‘Damsel’. She was not a Mulan. She was not the stereotypical boss woman who ‘wanted to fulfil her destiny by forgoing sexist roles in the village and joining the army to defy the norm’…

Even as a warrior, after she had made a name for herself (i.e., ‘the maid’), she always sought to return home and, as she said, ‘remain spinning wool at her mother’s side’. But she decided to do what God willed for her.

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Her Femininity and Modesty:

Remained intact.

Joan of Arc did not cut her hair or wear manly dress because she believed in female empowerment. On the contrary, the maid changed her attire to preserve her modesty, knowing that she would be living amongst grown men. She never took her armour off -not even to sleep- and perhaps, she thought that if she looked like a man, the natural attraction of the soldiers to her womanly frame would be diminished. And it was. To hers, the soldiers’, and the nation’s good.

For example, apart from the victories on the battlegrounds, it is said that Joan of Arc made spiritual victories in the souls of the soldiers whom she led. She inspired in them a drive to fight chivalrously for France and to be virtuous. The soldiers’ camp must have been riddled with vices of blasphemy, drunkenness, and promiscuity, but her leadership called everyone to order and encouraged them to be saints.

From this, there is a major lesson I learned while studying the life of The Maid:

Femininity is Not a Synonym for Timidity.

Whenever I look at another canonized saint of the Church, St. Therese of Lisieux, I think to myself, ‘Yes, that’s the picture!’.

To be feminine does not mean being stupid or dim-witted. There is a difference between that and childlikeness. It is a good thing to be as humble, cheerful, and trusting as a child. And being that does not take away from a woman’s intelligence, wit, or courage. St. Joan of Arc shows us!

One of the most common descriptions of St. Joan’s demeanour was innocence and modesty. Yet, this did not waver her courage in answering her call to battle, leading the French army for years, and afterwards, during the unjust trial that preceded her death, refusing to deny the credibility of the voices that had commissioned her to lead the army. Every act of courage she exercised was done with sweetness, childlikeness, and femininity, which inspired the good and convicted the wicked in their hearts.

I think that the most intelligent women are those who do not seek to peel off their femininity, but those who seek to rest in who they are as a woman. These women end up making a lasting impact on their world. More lasting than if they were to ‘wear the pants’, as they say.

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The key is to be virtuous. Virtue never conflicts with nature. The more virtuous you are, the more feminine you will be.

Femininity is so powerful that it can bring men to virtue, without the need of external force. And when it does bring men to virtue, virtuous men will work hard to preserve femininity. You may have heard adages like ‘femininity inspires masculinity’, and I would add that ‘masculinity preserves femininity’.

Joan of Arc did not lead the soldiers to battle by force or masculine strength. She inspired them to virtue and chivalry by simply being herself -by being feminine. And in return, those soldiers found it sweet to fight for her and France.

So, whether you are a woman, working on a construction site, or shouldering the bread-winning role of the family due to unforeseen circumstances, there is enough space for femininity to thrive and change the world around you.

Not every woman may have a ‘Barbie’ personality. However, embedded in the nature of every woman is the essence of femininity. All you have to do is learn how to be virtuous and it’ll come naturally to you. Grace perfects nature.

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In summary,

It is precisely because of St. Joan’s heroic practice of courage in faith, while preserving her modesty and femininity, that she triumphed in the end and is recognized as a figure of emulation inside and outside of the Catholic Church. It was an honour to learn about her, and it would be a greater honour to meet her, hopefully, in the World Beyond…

Well. That’s all the ink I have for now. See you next time.

St. Joan of Arc, pray for us!

Au Revoir,

Christine.

The Little Mermaid: What Disney Showed vs What the Original Story Portrayed.

The Little Mermaid is a widely loved and remembered story. However, I would have to admit that, being only exposed to the version of it told by Disney, I did not actually like The Little Mermaid as a child. It may have been just my selective tastes, but something about it wasn’t as selling as the other fairy tales were.

So recently, I decided to break my prejudice and give the story one more try, in a different way. I gave myself a project and asked my friend, Hannah, to join me so that I would be forced to finish it. I decided to watch the Disney version of The Little Mermaid, then read the original story as told by Andersen. Now, in hindsight, how I wish that I had been exposed to the original tale!

The Real Thing.

The Little Mermaid is what I’ve learned to call a serious story. A fairy tale, yes, but not without the portrayal of the common human condition and the consequences of virtue and vice. These are moral elements that make a fairy tale worthwhile in the first place and make it valuable, not only for children but for adults, to read.

The story tells of a young mermaid princess who, after venturing to see the land above the sea, becomes enamoured and obsessed with a prince. Following a series of events (saving the prince from a shipwreck and falling in love with the prince), the little mermaid decides to sell her voice and fins to a sea witch, in exchange for legs, so that she may venture onto land and captivate the prince’s heart. Though she gets her legs, her heart breaks when she watches the prince marry a princess from another kingdom, and as her deal with the witch goes, she is soon to turn to sea foam (i.e., die) on the morning after the prince’s wedding. The little mermaid’s five royal sisters then sell their hair to the sea witch, in the hopes of saving their sister. They hand the little mermaid a knife with which she is to stab the prince in bed. Only with that can she obtain her fins back.

Because of the love the little mermaid harbours for the prince, she overcomes herself and throws the knife away before she can harm the prince. At the same moment, she jumps into the ocean at dawn, waiting to be transformed into sea foam. However, not so. She instead fades into an invisible spirit and becomes acquainted with other “spirits of the air”, who are meant to roam the earth for three hundred years doing good, after which they obtain an immortal soul to “float into the kingdom of heaven”.

The End.

Of course, the story was more whimsically told by Andersen. But I’m only a humble maid, giving the summary…

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The Catholic Morality of the Story.

The clear distinction between good and evil:

Unlike the blurring of lines we commonly see in most stories today, Andersen made sure not to confuse his (mainly young) audience while telling this tale. In doing this, he artfully created the tale of two cities: the true, the good, and the beautiful city; and the fallacious, the bad, and the ugly city.

More specifically, he was able to do this while describing the palace of the sea king, nature, and Christian civilization; and the domain of the sea witch, subversion of beauty, and hedonic civilization.

He uses words to paint an architecture that inspires a love for good and a contempt for evil:

The good kingdom-

Far out in the ocean, where the water is as blue as the prettiest cornflower, and as clear as crystal… There dwelt a Sea King…[The Sea King’s castle] walls are built of coral, and the long, gothic windows are of the clearest amber. The roof is formed of shells that open and close as the water flows over them. Their appearance is very beautiful, for in each lies a glittering pearl, which would be fit for the diadem of a queen… All day long, they [his daughters] played in the great halls of the castle or among the living flowers that grew out of the walls. The large amber windows were open, and the fish swam in, just as the swallows fly into our houses when we open the windows, except that the fish swam up to the princesses, ate out of their hands, and allowed themselves to be stroked…

The bad kingdom-

…Neither flowers nor grass grew there; nothing but bare, gray, sandy ground stretched out to the whirlpool, where the water, like foaming mill-wheels, whirled round everything that it seized, and cast it into the fathomless deep… The only road lay right across a quantity of warm, bubbling mire… A space of marshy ground in the wood, where large, fat water-snakes were rolling in the mire, and showing their ugly, drab-colored bodies. In the midst of this spot stood a house, built with the bones of shipwrecked human beings. There sat the sea witch, allowing a toad to eat from her mouth… She called the ugly water-snakes her little chickens, and allowed them to crawl all over her bosom.

Do you see the clear distinction? Need I say more?

Family and Community.

The mermaid princesses, having no mother, had a grandmother who took care of them and told them stories of the land above the sea. Not only did she provide motherly care, but she also gave the mermaid princesses (especially, the little mermaid) good pieces of advice to heed. The little mermaid had what many women of our day, sadly, do not have: Wise guidance and upbringing.

The little mermaid also flourished among her community, which includes the kingdom as a whole. But more importantly, her sisters, to whom she had confided the angst of her heart after saving the prince and wishing to see him again. Unlike it is today, the expression of her femininity wasn’t shooed away by voices telling her how useless and childish it was. In fact, the only time she didn’t seek the wisdom of her grandmother, or the comfort of her sisters, was after deciding she would defy her protection and go into the domain of the sea witch, who was happy to give her false hope in exchange for the tokens of her beauty and innocence.

It pains me to think that women are now doing this today: leaving the generational wisdom of their grandparents and ancestors for the momentary pleasure of listening to modern women, many of whom do not have their best interests at heart.

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The Reality of the Bond of Marriage.

“No,” said the old woman [the little mermaid’s grandmother], “unless a man were to love you so much that you were more to him than his father or mother; and if all his thoughts and all his love were fixed upon you, and the priest placed his right hand in yours, and he promised to be true to you here and hereafter, then his soul would glide into your body and you would obtain a share in the future happiness of mankind. He would give a soul to you and retain his own as well…”

If people knew this, divorce would be extinct: Love gives and is never exhausted. Love fights for the ultimate good of the beloved. I would never let a man put a ring on my finger if I sensed that he did not understand this. And the same would apply for me if I couldn’t have this sort of love for him.

Because once sealed, the bond will always be sealed. The little mermaid understood this. Perhaps that is why she refused to kill the prince and rob his wife of his love. She loved the prince, even if it meant letting him love another.

Here’s a question for thought: Even if you end up getting your prince, could you love him this way?

What did the Little Mermaid really want?

Everlasting happiness and joy.

That’s all she wanted in the love of the prince -the eternal love that would seem to emanate from his soul to hers. However, would he have been able to give her this eternal love? Can your spouse, betrothed, or any created thing give you that degree of love you seek?

In the end, she did not get the prince, but the little mermaid lived happily ever after, because of the certainty that she would one day attain a soul and “float into the kingdom of heaven”. For us, we have a soul. What is left is to place our treasure in the same destiny.

With the hope of paradise…

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In Conclusion,

I’m glad I decided to break my prejudice and study the original story in-depth. It taught me a lot of lessons that I needed to meditate upon, especially because I understand the Little Mermaid’s desires. They are the same as mine. What about you?

Now. Since I’ve discussed the moral lessons already, the only thing I can say to you is:

Read more fairy tales. Do not think you are too old for them. It’s surprising how much of life I’ve thought about by reading a good old folktale -the original way.

” Some day, you will be old enough to start reading fairytales again.” -C.S. Lewis.

Until next time.

Au revoir,

Christine.

Ladies, have you ever thought to yourself, ‘Does no one else talk about this?’

And by ‘this’, I mean the natural desires and goals that come with being a woman. The society of this modern day has begun to view everything womanly and feminine as a fatal disease, and as such, we women, are in a unique time in history. We are in a time when the soceity is teaching us to hate ourselves. And, oh girl! How much I have fallen for it…

So, what’s in it for you?

1. A non-influencer style community.

Is that ambitious of me? Does a non-influencer style community even make sense these days?

Well. Have you ever imagined a powder room filled with women of all ages just talking? That’s what I intend with this!

As much as I love all those feminine geniuses out there, who have largely formed me into loving my womanhood and getting in touch with it, there is something I always feel is lacking: One-to-one community. These handles can often feel distant and unreachable. Moreover, there is hardly any one-to-one community for Catholic women and their specific struggles.

Hence, at Dreams of Tomorrow, I encourage you to write to me (and be guaranteed of a response) with your advices, questions, or thoughts concerning anything and everything it takes to be a Catholic woman today. And if you’re in the area (I live in Dublin, Ireland), why don’t we chat over tea?

I hope I made this clear, but I really want to be your friend. And I want to build a wholesome Christian friendship with YOU.

3. The Specifics.

I post articles every two (or three) Saturdays about topics that today’s world considers flimsy. These include feminine desires of beauty, love, relationship, femininity, sisterhood, recreation, and others, all from the lens of the Catholic faith. In some posts, I will draw virtuous examples from stories of the Saints, fairy tales, good books/films, etc.

If you want to understand more of these, I encourage you to take a look at my website: dreamsoftommorow.com.

Or take a look at my Instagram (@diaryofacatholicgirl).

Again, the bulk of the foundation of this platform is to get to know you, so if you need a friend, just send me an email and we’ll talk like two friends!

4. With that being said…

Thank you for dropping by. I will see you at my next post. God bless!

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Au revoir,

Christine Mako.