That last one always backfires.

I won’t lie, I got immense value out of it. I did not have a single bad experience in over a year of using it.

But I just deleted them all.

I didn’t cancel my subscriptions. I’m not anti-AI (at least, not yet).

I just deleted them off of my phone.

And it’s not because of any report that came out, or any video I saw. It’s just one question I can’t seem to answer;

Do answers come that easily?

I love technology. I know the point of technology is to make things better, faster. And I think that works for almost everything. (Emphasis on almost)

I’m sure self-driving cars are “safer” than hundreds of millions of hands at the wheel, but is it better for society at large to get so relaxed behind the wheel? What will my son’s generation look like if they’ve never learned to drive?

I’m sure social media has its benefits, but we all know it’s rewired our brains. Many of us remember life before social media, and no matter how addicted we get, there is a piece of us calling us back to the days before. But what will a generation who never knew life without it look like when they’re 30 and 40?

In that same vein, I wonder what will it look like for a generation to get answers without work?

I recently heard a funny story about the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles. He admitted that he used ChatGPT to come up with inspirational stories for his team speeches.

Some people thought nothing of it because, in their words, “AI is how we research today.” They said there is no difference between reading a book to get an inspirational story and having Chat find some for you.

To rephrase that for the purposes of this blog, he got the answers he needed quickly.

But man, that is such an oversimplification.

Using this coach as an example, he’s right in a sense; there isn’t a difference in the information ChatGPT provided him and the information a book that contains that same story would provide.

But the processes of retrieving that information form two entirely different people.

Here’s what I mean by the processes:

Do you know what’s a lot easier for teachers than reading middle school book reports? Telling the students “Where the Red Fern Grows” has a brutal ending.

But the purpose of school isn’t information transfer; it’s transformation through education. We don’t simply want more informed kids when they graduate high school; we want them to be transformed into adults. And we all know aging does not mean someone has grown. Work is required in order to go through the inward growth to make a kid into an adult.

That transformation takes place as they do the work to read the book.

What would happen to a generation if we took away the transformational work?

I know, in my writing, I pose questions like this without ever concretely answering them. But I only do that because I believe the answer is obvious to anyone who looks at it logically.

Consider this - part of the very nature of life is asking questions in pursuit of answers. The answer is only part of it. The main part, somewhat obnoxiously, is the pursuit. And I think the pursuit has four main facets.

First:

It’s learning what to question and what not to question.

Part of the mayhem of the last decade is a generation that is questioning the wrong things, entirely. We spend more time trying to define or redefine things that have been settled throughout history. And all this time spent dedicated to this endeavor has left us, at least in America, more confused, more divided, and, to say it plainly - dumber.

Because we didn’t even learn what we should question, and what shouldn’t be questioned.

Then, secondly: learning how to formulate better questions.

Just like we’ve collectively learned how to formulate better prompts for AI, questions in life work the same way. There are better and worse questions.

And then, third, we find ourselves at the correct question.

Consider this quick example: many Christians, whenever they’re voting, ask the question, “What’s fair for unbelievers?” That is a question, sure. But is it the best question we can ask in this incredibly important aspect of our lives? I think not. Maybe a better question is, “What type of government should we have?” I think that’s a better question, for sure.

But I think the correct question, again for Christians at least, would be, “What honors God?”

I could go off on a tangent on the whole Christian nationalism thing right now, but I’ll hold off for another blog. (But in short, we’d all be fine if we just voted based on what we thought honored God)

Then, finally, there’s learning who we should take those questions to!

If we keep turning to AI with our questions, we’ll stop turning to those who came before us.

For example, if AI keeps giving us recipes, we won’t need our grandmas.

So the pursuit of answers forms us into healthy adults capable of actually bettering the world around them.

Losing that, for the sake of convenience, is a terrifying reality.

But there’s an even scarier aspect of AI generation, that’s this: we believe all the answers AI gives us are right! Even though they all come with their own version of, “Chat can make mistakes,” we undoubtedly treat AI like Michael Scott treats Wikipedia.

“It must be right.”

I recently had a slight problem at my house, and a friend opened up chat to find out how to fix it in seconds. They read the answer aloud with 100% certainty, and it did not work.

Now that’s a relatively harmless example, and I’m not throwing any shade at my friend. But it’s proof of one thing: the deepest part of the pursuit of answers is defining what answers should be adopted as truth.

And I’m just not sold on fast answers being the best ones.

For clarity, this isn’t a critique of AI, but rather a commentary on our use of it.

All in all, this blog is simply me - well - questioning. I’m not sure I have an answer, except that I deleted all my AI apps. For me, I want to work for my answers.

I want to know what to question, and what not to.

I want to learn how to formulate the correct questions, and develop the discernment to find the truth (or lack thereof) in the answers.

I want my questions to bring me closer to those who have the answers.

Will I continue to let AI make spreadsheets for me quickly? Sure.

Will I ask it to write SOPs for me in the office? You bet.

But I’ll do the hard work of asking questions AI can’t answer.

I fell out of the habit of writing. I have reasons — we sold our house, moved in with my parents, had a baby, bought and remodeled our new home, and more — but at the end of the day, the truth is simpler than the list. I’m just not in the habit anymore. Week after week I caught myself saying “I have nothing to write about,” which isn’t like me. I have a whole list of ideas I’m excited about, sitting right in front of me. I was emotionally connected to every one of them when I wrote them down. Now I look at the list and feel... nothing. Indifference.

So here I am, hoping I have something to say before I stop typing.

Here’s what I think is actually going on. The last nine months have left me living in two realities that don’t seem like they should fit in the same chest at once.

I am more grateful, grounded, and aware of God’s presence than I have ever been in my life. My three-year-old looked me in the eye two days ago and offered up his first unprompted “I love you, dada.” My newborn has been the easiest, most enjoyable baby we could have dreamed of — with him I get to relive all the sweetest days our firstborn has already grown out of. Watching my sons get this much time with their grandparents, while we live with my parents in this season, is something I know I’ll miss the moment it ends. Having a front-row seat to watch my wife grow into everything she’s become this year — for our boys, and for her growing role at church — has wowed me in ways I can’t put into words.

And in that exact same chest: I am more tired, frustrated, and worn thin than I’ve ever been.

How are both of those true at once?

I don’t know. But I think it’s the same confusion as the father in Mark 9 — the one who brings his son to Jesus and says, “Lord, I believe! But help my unbelief.” That man isn’t choosing between belief and unbelief. He’s holding both, in the same breath, to the same Jesus. And I used to think that verse was about a man on his way to resolving his doubt. Now I think it might just be an honest description of what faith often feels like while you’re still in it.

Which is it — belief or unbelief? Gratitude or exhaustion?

I think the last nine months have taught me: it’s not that simple. Nothing is. Not in the sense of “this or that,” black or white, one or the other. We want that kind of clarity — something flat and tangible we can stand on. But Jesus says the life built on Him still gets hit by storms. The house is safe and it’s in a storm. Both, in the same house, at the same time.

This season is forcing me to live inside that tension instead of resolving it. The same God who gives also takes. Growth that builds also tears down first. Pruning is still cutting, even when it’s good for the tree.

I don’t think the answer is to flatten the tension into one side or the other — to perform gratitude until I stop feeling tired, or to sit in the exhaustion until I forget what I have to be grateful for. I think the answer is to let both be true, the way the father in Mark 9 did, and bring the whole mess — belief and unbelief, joy and depletion — to the only place that’s ever held it without making me choose.

Like the boy with five loaves and two fish: his offering was not enough, and more than enough, at the same time. He didn’t wait until he had more, he just brought what he had.

Maybe that’s the only way back into the habit of writing, too. Not waiting until I have something resolved to say. Just bringing what’s actually true, unresolved, and trusting that’s enough to start with.

I was lost watching “The Iron Claw,” a movie with Zac Efron as a professional wrestler. It didn’t seem like his head was in the game. Was it the start of something new?

Thankfully, I pushed through long enough to hear Zac explain the real skill behind professional wrestling. The fighting isn’t real in the way boxing is, but it’s a real performance - and the best performers win.

Iron Claw got me interested in the Hulk Hogan documentary on Netflix, and it was the same thing. These fights were decided beforehand; the best performers had the best stories, so they drew the best crowds. And so, they were the winners.

So these aren’t fighters, they’re performers. And in that way, it’s real.

If you come to it expecting it to be boxing, a real fight between two fighters who want to win, then you’ll think professional wrestling is fake. You won’t wrap your arms around their product, meaning you won’t embrace it. But if you know they are performers, you wrap your arms around their performance.

When it comes to the things going on in the world today, the things constantly on our feeds and our family conversations, I think we can learn a lot from professional wrestling.

Let’s start with the president’s tweets on Easter. Oh, and the whole Jesus/doctor image.

Lots of my friends, even pastor friends, saw these posts as the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back of their support for him. They called for other Christians to follow them in ending their support for President Trump.

Other friends of mine, even pastor friends, have done the opposite.

As onlookers, what do we do with that? Which opinion should we embrace?

Let’s look at another current event: Jaden Ivey.

If you don’t know the name, he was a former NBA basketball player who was cut from his team for seemingly standing up for Christian values in the face of the NBA’s support of pride month. It seems as if he called the NBA out for their support of something ungodly, and his team cut him shortly after.

I watched some defend Ivey, noting an obvious double standard. They said he was standing up for Christian values, and he was wrongly terminated.

Others took to their microphones to warn Christians that this is the type of persecution coming our way.

What do we do with that?

To start answering these questions, I think we look to professional wrestling. And the book of Ecclesiastes;

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;” - Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬-‭5‬ ‭ESV.‬‬

There are two main takeaways from this before we tie it together with the lesson from professional wrestling. The first takeaway here is that there are times: times for one thing, and times for another - times to embrace and a time to refrain.

What time are we in?

I believe we’re in the time of content creators. It used to be influencers, but they’ve all become content creators - and those are scary words.

They make their money when they get eyes on their content, and we all have limited attention. The algorithms literally cannot show you everyone you follow, and content creators know this. They are fighting your other followers for your attention.

Which means it becomes second nature to those who are good at it.

AKA - they’ve become performers.

To some of them, the events of the world are viewed through the lens of “content.” Their first thought when they see headlines like Jaden Ivey or Trump’s X account is not the information and the effect of it; they see content.

They see tomorrow’s post.

And in some cases, if the headlines aren’t good enough, they have to literally create them.

It’s like that famous quote in the Disney movie, “Newsies.”

“Headlines don’t sell papes - Newsies sell papes.”

If the headlines weren’t cutting it, they made their own.

We’ve gone from the time of newspapers to the time of content creators, which makes me distrust everything now. How do I know what they’re telling me is real, and not their content?

Which leads me to the second takeaway;

There is a time to refrain from embracing.

Trump has done questionable things before, and we collectively get over it. The reality of President Trump will not be felt during his tenure, but after. The reality of his influence on our history will not be affected by his tweets whatsoever. History will look at his eight years and remember two or three big things, like the results of the Iran war.

Have you heard some of the quotes from our former presidents? Some are absolutely wild. And yet, those quotes weren’t taught to us in history class - their accomplishments, or lack thereof, were.

So I don’t “embrace” anything right now, except the values he says he upholds - which is why I voted the way I did. Does he actually uphold those values? Only time will tell. It’s part of the downside of voting for what we think someone will do in their time in office.

Let’s look at Jaden Ivey’s situation. We’ve seen this show before.

Remember when we thought Kanye was a Christian? Or when Kyrie Irving was seemingly getting his life in order?

We embraced that so fast, only to regret embracing that later.

With Jaden, we won’t know if he’s actually being persecuted for his faith for a long time. We don’t know what he actually believes, or what actually happened in that locker room. Only time will tell.

I do not have enough information yet to embrace, so I refrain.

Now, a lot of people may accuse me of riding the fence, but I point to another verse;

“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” - Proverbs‬ ‭16‬:‭32‬ ‭ESV.‬‬

I’m not riding the fence on these issues; I’m ruling my spirit. If all of these content creators want our attention, maybe we should value it more?

Should we pay more attention to what we’re paying attention to?

The world has changed, my friends. Outrage content sells. It’s the only way to stop the scroll.

If they make me mad, they make money - but I lose my spirit. So I will gladly rule my own spirit and embrace this time, which I believe is a season to refrain from embracing. I’ll play the long game with my heart and attention.

I hope you will, too.

But that Shia Labouef interview was something else.

He said so many things that kept my group chats blowing up.

There was a moment, however, that really moved me. To see how he approached the question of what he would say to Jesus, if he ever got a chance to meet him, was precious. This guy is a complete party animal, and yet when the topic of meeting Jesus was brought up, he was brought low.

It was, truly, precious.

And had he stopped there, I wouldn’t be writing this blog. But what he said next became a frame of reference for the rest of his commentary;

“I’m a real catholic bro. I’m a real one.”

Don’t worry, I left out the profanity.

I’m not one to lose it over cursing. I don’t curse, and I’ve never agreed with using it as a “tool” to remain relevant with unbelievers. I don’t think someone in the world is ever moved by a Christian who still “talks like them.” I also don’t immediately assume someone’s faith isn’t sincere because they have a potty mouth.

But once Shia brought up the term “real catholic,” I began to question the legitimacy of his system of belief.

I’m not questioning his belief, but his system of belief.

His belief system, which he puts in the category of a non-fake catholic, seems to have room for being irreverent with his words - even if he’s discussing something he reveres.

He can be so moved by the thought of seeing Jesus, but he continues to live in a way that falls short of Paul’s charge in Ephesians 4 and Colossians 1:10; to walk in a manner worthy of the calling, and in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him.

Which leads me not to a critique, but an observation. As a “real Catholic,” it seems that Shia’s system of belief views objects as Holy.

The Eucharist is holy, saints are holy, Mary is holy, and to some, symbols of the cross and portraits of Jesus are holy.

The holiness is in the object.

This makes room for bringing the holy objects near without aiming for holiness themselves.

But this is not a critique of Catholics or Shia only; Protestants do this, too.

Our system of belief views grace as holy. It’s so all-encompassing and overwhelming that grace, when it comes near, excuses the lack of holiness for some.

We’d all agree, both Catholics and Protestants, that grace forgives our lack of holiness, but Paul tells us it’s also supposed to train us. Here’s the verse in its entirety;

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,” - Titus‬ ‭2‬:‭11‬-‭12‬

Some Protestants excuse a lack of holiness training because “we have grace.” Some Catholics excuse it because they revere the holy things.

Both miss the boat.

Here’s a take from someone I believe both parties will listen to.

“Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” - 1 Peter‬ ‭1‬:‭13‬-‭16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Shia’s love of Jesus does not excuse the low bar he has set for his own behavior.

Our understanding of grace does not excuse “being like the world.”

We must all forsake our former ignorance and its passions, and become more like Christ, holy in our conduct.

We can argue all we want about the Eucharist and the saints, but not at the expense of the real conversation: how are God’s people becoming more holy in our conduct?

Do we really think we will be quizzed on judgment day? With a question like;

What is the Eucharist?

A) a snack

B) a symbol

C) The actual blood and body of Christ

D) both b and c, but definitely not a

Or do we think God is looking for lukewarm conduct?

When I look at Shia in that interview, I see both the seeds of someone giving their heart to the Lord and the weeds that come when we use our system of belief to excuse becoming more like Christ.

While many point the finger and laugh, I don’t think Shai is the problem; he is the mirror.

Is it possible that when we look at him, we see a portion of ourselves?

As I watch Shia, I see portions of my own soul that need to become more holy. As I tried to process the legitimacy of his faith in my flesh, I began to see the log in my own eye - the moments where I, too, excuse a lack of holiness.

The aim isn’t perfection, I admit - but I feel as though I can understand Paul more when he says, (and I’m paraphrasing) “look, I don’t have it figured out fully - but I press on towards the goal” (Philippians 3:13-14).

If that’s what is going on in Shia, then awesome. May he continue to press on!

I hope we are all pressing on towards becoming more like Christ!

Ben Affleck has to comment on how it will affect the movie industry.

Pictures can’t be trusted anymore.

And apparently, a college student got expelled post-graduation day for showing off his ChatGPT history on his graduation day.

It’s a real thing.

But I’m not worried, not about that anyway.

I think microphones are too dang cheap. If I’m honest, that’s what worries me.

In a world with many weird symptoms, I think that’s the disease.

Too many people believe they have a platform. Unfortunately, a cheap mic and an email address get you one.

Now it’s far too easy to say the foolish voices are the problem, but I don’t think that’s true. I’m not worried about the agendas of the foolish.

I’m worried about the longevity of the wise.

The modern-day pace is not sustainable.

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” - ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭10‬:‭19‬ ‭

“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” - ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭17‬:‭27‬-‭28‬ ‭

While many would say our generation has more access to information than any other, Proverbs would say we’re the most foolish - because we talk the most.

We preach, podcast, write, and post for social media. We’re always talking.

Some handle it better than others. I dare to say, some even handle it well.

But is this sustainable?

If we’re preaching every week, podcasting, pouring into our church people, leading and developing our staff, writing on Substack, and authoring books, how can we possibly prepare for all of that? At what point does our standard of preparation slip?

“Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Proverbs‬ ‭29‬:‭20‬ ‭

I believe Christians do have a platform, and I believe we should use it.

But I also think we should listen to Uncle Ben;

“With great power comes great responsibility.”

If you have a platform, then you have even more responsibility to use it well. And that doesn’t mean “use it for the purposes of the Lord,” only. It means that, and to use it wisely, which, according to Proverbs, is hard to do if you’re using it often.

I fear we’ve collectively become the type of people Paul describes as: “always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.” - ‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭3‬:‭7‬ ‭

Which is why it’s vital we take Paul’s advice;

“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness,” - ‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭2‬:‭15‬-‭16‬

That means there is a RIGHT way and a wrong way to handle the word of truth.

Now, I’m only one man. My perspective is not complete.

But it’s hard to think the world is becoming more and more godly the more we talk.

Have we accidentally wandered into the irreverent babble?

We have the word of truth. I pray we’re handling it rightly.

“When you’re not writing, read. When you are writing, stop.”

I cleaned that up a bit, but basically, they advised me to do a ton of reading when I wasn’t working on a book. Then, whenever I start to write, I should stop reading.

Essentially, I’ve expanded on this advice in my own life; I’m intentional about seasons of listening and seasons of speaking.

It’s one of the reasons why I can’t stand the current culture where everyone is always speaking all the time. Social media, podcasts, the 1-minute sermon clips, and now Substack have the leaders of God’s people talking every single day. Thats not sustainable.

It’s why I chose not to write until today.

Over the last month, while we’re fasting and prepping ourselves for the new year, I chose to put the pen down.

But now that our fast is over, I’ve picked it back up! And this is what I wanted to write about first.

Rehoboam was 41 (‭‭2 Chronicles‬ ‭12‬:‭13‬).

I’ve always loved the story of Rehoboam, King Solomon’s son and King David’s grandson. He’s the guy who ruined all of their work on his first day on the job.

The story is in 2 Chronicles 10, but we can sum it up real quick;

Rehoboam becomes King

the people ask him to lighten their labors

he goes to the men who used to advise his father

he doesn’t like their advice, so he goes to “the young men who had grown up with him.”

he likes and takes their advice.

the nation splits into 2

So it’s a cautionary tale to the young; be mindful of who you listen to!

The wisdom of those more experienced than us is more valuable than our generation’s current level of understanding. This makes sense.

But here’s the thing: I didn’t realize he was a 40-year-old man. Which means his advisors were in their 40’s as well.

I assumed they were in their late 20’s or early 30s, kind of like running a young adult ministry. I envisioned them as youngsters sitting at the kids’ table, trying to play “adult.” But no, they were in their 40s.

A man’s 40s are their prime of their life. Many of the people we glean from are in their 40s. Most professional athletes retire well before their 40th birthday. We’ve had presidents in their 40s!

But this truth applies even to them; be mindful of who you listen to.

Someone who I’d probably listen to, leaders a decade older than me, should not forget how to receive wisdom from those older than them. They have not graduated from requiring good counsel. They do not know everything.

So how much more should I listen?

How much less do I know?

Rehoboams age proves that we never graduate from listening, and listening to the right people. Sometimes we even believe we’re the right people for others, so we should do more talking than listening.

Today’s world is obsessed with anything other than listening. We’ve got people of all ages teaching: recipes, how to build a business, how to not pay taxes, workouts, gardening stuff, pastoral podcasts, theology debates, etc. They just keep talking and talking and talking and talking.

Which may lead us to believe we’ve become good listeners! We listen to podcasts all day. But it’s seemingly had the opposite effect; we’ve become passive listeners. We listen to so much that we’ve stopped knowing how to listen.

And the talkers talk so much they’ve forgotten how to say anything.

What’s the harvest on that? It feels like one of the more divided times in our history, just like the nation divided under Rehoboam.

I’m 34, and realizing Rehoboam was 41 makes me want to lean into my father/pastor more and more. It makes me want to spend far more time this year listening rather than talking. It makes me want to write about things that are true, not things that make sense to me.

I’m not sure what that realization spurs in you, but I hope we can all spend less time listening to strangers and more time leaning into the advisors worthy of our attention.

Kelce even interviewed George Clooney, who hasn’t fought with his wife in 10 years.

And of course, the internet went crazy about it, claiming neither was telling the truth.

But from my experience, I have no reason to believe they aren’t telling the truth. And by my experience, I do not mean my own personal outlook on fighting in a relationship.

I am lucky and blessed enough to be married to someone who fights well, and because of that, we never really fight.

Not in some “there’s always peace between us” type of way - but our arguments never turn into fights. After putting some thought into it, I realize why.

She does 3 things really well, and I believe they keep us from fighting.

1) She looks at herself first

From our earliest days together, which go back almost 7 years now, my wife has always looked at what she did to contribute to the argument. She doesn’t come with a list of things I did, but a list of what she did.

This behavior immediately disarms me, which ends the fight before it begins.

Psychologically, men tend to view everything through the lens of respect. Women tend to have their own lens; safety. So when women feel unsafe in an argument, their language tends to imply blame on the man, as he is the one who is supposed to keep her safe. That implication often lands as disrespect, and the argument escalates into a fight.

My wife knows how to look at herself first, rather than blaming me. This disarms me and gives me no one to look at but myself.

She’s so good at this that whenever I am actually the one to blame, it’s very clear. Whenever she does lay out something I did, it bypasses the need in me for respect and triggers my responsibility to keep her safe. But those moments are coupled with the other things she does well;

2) She clearly lays out what she needs

Which goes hand in hand with the next thing;

3) She does not assume I know what she’s thinking

We’ve all seen that scene in the movie where she looks at him and goes, “It’s not something you did, it’s something you didn’t do.”

Public service announcement - we don’t know what to do! How are we supposed to know what we aren’t supposed to not do?

That sentence is as hard to understand as the situation it conveys.

No one, not even your spouse, can really know what you’re thinking. Assuming they know, or should know, it’s great fuel for a fight. It now accrues two mistakes to your spouse’s ledger: the thing they did and the ignorance of doing the thing.

Simply not assuming and clearly communicating what you need puts the couple’s attention on what’s important: what happened, how it can be remedied, and how to avoid it in the future.

I remember our first official fight. We had been engaged for a few weeks and were on our way to a big dinner together. I did something she didn’t appreciate, but with no malice in my heart; I shared something with someone she wished I would have kept between us.

We simply hadn’t spent enough time together to even know how each other operated; I’m an external processor, while she’s an internal processor. That’s really what the fight was about.

We’ve both come to the middle on the issue since then, but it’s because of that fight.

She wanted to shut down, as she hadn’t had enough time to process how she was feeling. But we hadn’t even gotten to dinner yet, and I didn’t want to waste the night. I’m still not good at sitting in silence, so spending a night together with her, mad at me, wasn’t on my menu.

In the middle of our “discussion,” I chose to try out something new;

“Take the next 15 minutes to think about how you feel, and I’ll sit quietly. Then, we’ll talk.”

This was equally challenging for each of us; for her, having to be ready to talk in 15 minutes, and for me, sitting quietly.

But what followed was the best discovery of our relationship to that point, and it didn’t take the full 15 minutes.

She needed time, and I needed resolve.

When we gave that to each other, we were able to have a wonderful evening. It’s a practice we continue to pull out before tensions are high.

And in that way, we’re able to handle our conflict before it becomes too conflicting.

I don’t think fighting well is about yelling or not yelling, agreeing or disagreeing, but about learning more about the person you’re with. Looking at yourself first, not assuming, and clearly communicating what you need goes a long way in helping you both learn more about each other and enjoy each other’s company more!

Which is why I don’t bat an eye at the idea that these other couples haven’t fought. Some couples avoid conflict in unhealthy ways, for sure. Others simply have learned how to communicate before conflict turns into outright fights.

Either way, I’m grateful I’m married to a woman who knows how to fight well.

And as we sat, I had no idea the war that was coming for my attention.

On one side, a couple on a date. Let’s call him Sir Talks-Too-Much, because he literally did all of the talking. It’s a personal pet peeve of mine. He’d make for a killer “how not to date” blog.

On the other side, two grown men who couldn’t read the menus without flashlight assistance. It was just, simply, distracting.

But in the midst of these distractions, Richelle and I enjoyed the best dinner we’ve had in a while; we both gave each other our full attention.

Our phones do this to us every day; social media and technology have allowed us to hear what’s going on in every city, every day, at all times. 

It’s like one big dinner, and you can listen in on everyone. 

But this holiday season is a good time to stop and ask yourself, is this good for us?

It happened to me the other day. I found myself burdened by some of the things I heard other pastors preaching. I’m walking around my office, preparing a sermon in my head to combat some of what they were saying.

WHERE DID THAT EVEN COME FROM?

How did I find myself here?

Then I realized I had scrolled through an Instagram page for 5 minutes. Just five minutes.

5 minutes took my eyes off my date, and I was listening to the people next to me.

Am I supposed to know what 50 other pastors preached? And have that cloud my thinking as I consider what I’ll preach? 

Are we supposed to know how everyone is making their money? 

What 100 other people wore today? 

The houses people five states over can afford?

Our phones essentially make one promise: you’ll have so much access that you’ll never miss out again.

And yet, we’re all missing out.

While we have so much access to the world, our attention is never fully on our present reality, with all its joys, challenges, obstacles, and opportunities.

You know what I realized? I’ll never see the people who sat beside us again. Why would I have wasted my night with my wife, thinking about them?

My wife deserved my focus.

It happened today, again.

We had our anatomy scan to see our next son, and of course, my phone was blowing up with important stuff the entire time. But those 25 minutes will be the only time I’ll really get to see him until he’s born.

I fought as much as I could to give my son my fullest attention.

To be fully present, receiving the dopamine from this moment.

I’m no expert. I’m not even good at this, yet.

But it’s become a desire of my heart to never let my phone and the promise of access rob me of enjoying my present reality.

And this holiday season, I pray you do the same. 

Consider bringing a real camera into Christmas, and leave your phone in a drawer.

Think about setting a new rule for these holidays: no phones at the table. 

Practice the one-screen rule; if we’re watching TV, then there are no phones! One screen at a time.

Small changes like these ensure our fullest attention is given to those who really deserve it.

And if I’m being honest, you deserve it. You deserve to get your attention back.

So ignore the access, and enjoy the presence. Your family, and your deepest self, will thank you for it.

But then I saw this video, and I couldn’t help myself.

I mean… how could anyone watch this and stay quiet?

Check it out.

Credit - Olivia.unplugged on TikTok.

You see what I mean?

I mean, it’s just…. Absolute perfection.

This is something I’m really passionate about, and honestly, I can’t identify why. But I do personally feel like, at least my generation, has lost something.

I’m the guy who’s literally right in the middle of the technology boom. I was 18 when I got my first iPhone, so basically my life is split into two eras: one with a phone with buttons and one with an iPhone.

And I don’t need studies to show me the difference.

My friend Joey Odom and I recently did a podcast together on the Family Business. He shared the story of being on his phone while his son scored his first-ever soccer goal; the whole team was celebrating his son’s accomplishment, and he missed it.

It’s not his fault. The psychology is literally against him. And he’s not the only one.

We’re all fighting a losing battle with our psychology.

Meanwhile, while my family was at the farm this weekend, my cow-obsessed son wanted to spend every morning out watching these giants roam the pasture. So I’d grab my coffee, leave my phone inside, and sit with him for 20 minutes.

I am still shocked at how sweet each moment was.

How present I felt.

How long those 20 minutes felt.

How much more grace I had for his anger when I told him it was finally time to go inside.

My brain wasn’t searching for dopamine in apps - there was plenty all around me; in my son’s red face as he braced the 40 degree weather just to watch the cows up close, in the new words he started using as his little brain is forming, and in the quiet, realizing I’m about to have another one of these boys running around soon.

I long for moments like that again.

And so, as we prep for the Christmas season, I’m starting a blog series on our phones. I know, I know, it’s not popular.

But I think it’s a worthwhile discussion for those willing to read about it.

Can I ask you to do something?

Spend one 15-minute moment a day with your phone in another room. And then come and tell me about it.

That’s it.

More next week.

Until recently.

And it’s time to tell you why.

If you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything at all.

We’ve grown up hearing it, but it’s more relevant than ever! We live in a world that rewards noise more than well-thought-out contributions to the marketplace of ideas.

I’d rather write less often than contribute to the noise.

To be clear, I don’t mean it how our parents meant it - I do not mean, “if you don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say it at all.”

I literally mean it.

If it’s not quality, don’t say anything.

Honestly, I’m not sure I have that many high-quality things to say.

There’s been a major shift in the content world, a shift very few have noticed. Social media has backed up its promise, at least for a select few.

There was a day, as social media started gaining traction, when some realized (and promised) they could make a living through social media. Their content could be so good and loved by so many that they could leave their jobs and feed their families just by making it big on social media.

Everyone followed Gary Vaynerchuk’s advice: give away your content for free, and the crowds followed. Influencers were born. Marketers took their advertising dollars and sent them to influencers.

Now, being an influencer has become profitable (again, for some).

Posting content became their 9-5. It’s how they feed their families.

But as more people joined this party, there was more content to fight through.

Enter clickbait, which gave birth to ragebait.

Now, content tries to upset you to get your attention. Today’s social economy doesn’t reward quality; it rewards loud.

Just this week, members of our team asked if we should keep a horrible comment on one of our posts - believing our supporters would run to defend us, which would garner engagement.

So now, the most valuable currency in the marketplace is outrageous opinions. If you had enough “takes,” you could garner enough engagement (because all engagement is good engagement, they say) to feed your families.

But we never asked ourselves, collectively as a society, how much value a single person could add to a society before running out.

Or said more plainly, how long before we run out of things to talk about?

And here’s where the shift came, completely unnoticed by the general public;

Our podcasters, influencers, and thought leaders ran through all of their good stuff. They don’t have anything good to say anymore.

So they respond to other things other people say.

All they have now is reactions.

If you want the simplest way to understand this, consider Hollywood. They have run out of good stories, so they just produce spin-offs, sequels, and remakes.

The same thing happened with the news! As hours on air increased, so did the need for attention-grabbing content, so everything is draped in fear or outrage. It’s happened in the sports media world, too!

And now this is happening with podcasts, social media, and the “marketplace of ideas.”

We ran through all the good topics, the good podcast guests, and the like; all we have left, now, is opinion.

Here’s the part no one wants to say out loud;

People feed the content funnel because it’s their job, not because they have something valuable to say.

I won’t play a part in that. I just won’t.

That’s why I haven’t been writing as often. If I don’t have anything to say, I’m not going to say anything at all.

I hope my writing moves people enough to garner good attention, admittedly. I’d love to get compensated for it too!

But not if it comes at too high a cost - and unfortunately, I think that’s the only way these days.

I wasn’t too busy, I wasn’t struggling with anything at home - I just didn’t have anything quality to say. So I didn’t say anything.

Oh, by the way;

We deleted the comment anyway.

Why?

Because we refuse to get on the hamster wheel, we refuse to believe all engagement is created equal.

There is, in fact, bad press.

And most of what’s out there today is just that - low-quality noise.

I pray we all refuse to receive it.

I can’t say I’m an expert. I assuredly could not teach this the way someone who believes it could.

But it’s a subject I’ve approached with great curiosity throughout my life, and I feel as though it needs to be addressed.

Specifically, I mean the practice of praying to saints or Mary for help.

I’ve been all over the map on it, from believing it to be absolute lunacy, wondering where it even came from, and then wanting to at least understand it from their perspective.

I’ve wanted to write on it before, but I never felt like I had enough information to be fair and have a worthwhile critique.

But not anymore. This video, as well as a ton of study and discussion, finally gave me what I needed.

Now, let me start by saying there is an aspect, a sliver of this pie, that is beautiful. And it’s something I believe the Protestant church should embrace.

The idea that those who have come before us, the “Great Cloud of Witnesses,” are supporting us in some way is lovely.

The example the Catholic in this video uses, of asking a friend to pray for you, and that being no different than asking a saint who is just no longer among the land of the living, is quite wonderful.

I do believe there is something unexplained about what happens when the breath leaves our lungs. There are references to Abraham’s bosom in Scripture; a sort of “holding place” for those destined for Heaven but have closed their eyes on earth.

CS Lewis calls it “the Valley of the Shadow of Light.”

I mean, who knows the exact details of what happens when we die?

We should also recognize that Scripture does not teach that Heaven is a place where Christians go, but there will be a new heaven and a new earth.

That’s important for this conversation because it just proves we aren’t absolutely clear on what happens between the day I die and judgment day.

So if Hebrews 12 tells us there is a “Great cloud of witnesses,” and our response to that cloud should be to run our race with endurance, then I see nothing wrong with believing the cheering section of my race has more than just the living in attendance.

But that’s where the rest of this man’s point is logically inconsistent and, with no desire to be an alarmist, dangerous.

If we are as optimistic as possible about this man’s perspective and all who share it, then we will believe him when he says he believes there’s nothing different between what they are doing and us when we ask our friends to pray for us.

But here’s where even that point breaks down;

First - I’d never mention my friend’s name in my own prayer.

I wouldn’t ask my friend Ben to pray for me, and then, as I’m praying, make any mention of Ben, let alone pray in his name.

Asking Ben, Anthony, my dad, or Joel Osteen to pray for me wouldn’t affect my own prayer life at all. It’s not a matter of if their prayers are stronger than mine, but that I want to come together in agreement with 2 or 3 others.

But again, I’m not calling on Joel Osteen, my dad, or anyone else when I’m praying.

If I’m using his own example, of asking the living for prayer, then why would I mention my friends as I pray?

Someone might say, “Well, the only way to speak to those who have passed (not necromancy, as he pointed out) is in prayer.”

Fair enough. But that leads me to my second point;

He seems to believe that asking someone for prayer and praying to them are somehow synonymous.

They clearly aren’t.

So if the only way to ask them for prayer is to make some sort of prayer in their name, then maybe his analogy breaks down, and it’s not like asking your friends for prayer.

Now you may say, “If you agree there’s beauty in being cheered on by the great cloud of witnesses, then how else would you garner their support?”

That may seem to legitimize his claim about praying to the saints not being condemned in the New Testament, as if this is something we’ve had to flesh out that isn’t laid out clearly in Scripture.

But this is where I believe he’s playing an unbelievably dangerous game.

Just because something isn’t outright condemned in Scripture does not mean we can practice it, especially if Jesus lays out what to do in that area clearly.

“Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.” - ‭‭John‬ ‭14‬:‭13‬-‭14‬ ‭

If you try to create a practice based on something Scripture doesn’t outright condemn, you start to sound a lot like those who believe the Bible doesn’t outright affirm biblical marriage.

And another thing; just because something “dates back to the earliest days” doesn’t make it healthy. Finding an example of someone doing something is not in itself evidence that we should do that too.

It’s like assuming you can eat anything past its due date because some things, like wine and certain cheeses, get better over time.

The same practice, letting food sit, makes some food beautiful and others poisonous.

Just because something is old doesn’t make it healthy.

That’s why we look to Scripture to see if practices are affirmed. And in this case, not only is praying to anyone but Jesus not affirmed in the New Testament - it’s not affirmed anywhere in all of scripture. There isn’t a single case of a person within the entire timeline of Scripture who said some prayer to anyone but God or Jesus.

More specifically, looking to involve the mother Mary in prayer, I’ve heard it said you would call on someone’s mother if you really want to get their attention. So Jesus is sometimes too busy, so they get His mother involved.

But if Jesus is busy, wouldn’t it logically stand to reason that she would get busy too?

All of this leads us to the parable of the rich man and the beggar from Luke 16; someone in hell requests the help of someone in Abraham’s bosom. Now, this is a parable - kind of like the prodigal son. Did these events actually take place? No one knows. But there are very important truths we can take away from it.

First, the beggar from heaven is unable to help the man in hell. So then the rich man in hell asks him to go, or send someone, to his brothers on earth to warn them about hell. To which Abraham says;

“But Abraham said, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them hear them.’ And he said, ‘No, father Abraham, but if someone goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ He said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the Prophets, neither will they be convinced if someone should rise from the dead.’” - ‭‭Luke‬ ‭16‬:‭29‬-‭31‬ ‭

Translation - they should listen to the Scriptures. We don’t need any extra help, not even if someone were to come back from the dead.

So if the Great Cloud of Witnesses is cheering us on, that should affect how we run - not how we pray.

If I show up to a race with no one to cheer me on, it will affect how I run. If the cheering section is full, I’ll run with more confidence.

But I won’t run well if my eyes are on the cheering section.

Which is why, even though there is something beautiful about the great cloud of witnesses, my eyes can’t be on them.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” - ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭

Doesn’t sound like Jesus is too busy to receive my prayer.

I pray we all, even Protestants, embrace the reality of the great cloud of witnesses - those who came before us - and use that as encouragement to run our race well. And I pray we all leave our prayers in the name of Jesus, who found the reality of what came for Him after His crucifixion to be a joy. I assure you - He’s not too busy.

It was Pastor Andrew Gard during the only conversation we ever had.

He was the campus pastor at Southeastern University, and I was leading the youth group back home. It took him 30 minutes to ask me;

“Chris, you’ve probably heard ‘you’re wise beyond your years’ a lot, right?”

I was so glad he noticed.

“Well, yeah, I tend to get that often. Maybe it’s because I’m the oldest and only boy in my family?” I said with false humility.

“Well.. those people lied to you.”

This dude actually said this to me, and he didn’t even know me!

And he could not have given me a better gift.

He continued;

“I’m sure you are pretty smart, but there’s no such thing as being wise beyond your years. You’re only as wise as your years.”

I’ve wrestled with this for over 10 years. I continually wrestle with it.

There are many factors to consider when analyzing a person’s wisdom.

We all know there’s a spectrum with every age; some 18-year-olds are smarter than others, same with 28-year-olds and 75-year-olds. That’s an undeniable fact.

Certainly, experience is a factor as well. Some folks have been through more in their childhood than some do in decades, which undeniably plays a role in their “wisdom.”

And no one can deny the reality of immature adults and mature children.

So how are these things true, and yet Pastor Andrew’s advice remains a gift to me?

Because there’s a difference between knowing the right words and doing the right things. Whenever we give advice, we tend to be saying the right words - but it’s another thing entirely to do the right thing when the situation arises.

That’s why, no matter how deeply I may think this, I would not make a better General Manager for the Dolphins than the guys they’ve hired. I may feel like I know all the right moves, like trading this player or letting another player go.

But these men, the ones with the actual jobs, feel the whole weight of the job; they do life with these players, hear them talk about their hopes and dreams, they believe in them, and their own job is on the line. Their ability to make the right decisions directly affects their reputation, their self-worth, and the well-being of their family.

It’s much easier to judge them from my couch than it is to actually feel the weight of the decision.

And that’s what we do whenever we think knowing the right words makes us wise. We make a judgment call without the weight of the moment.

It reminds me of how judgmental I was to parents at restaurants back when Richelle was pregnant with Marino. We weren’t parents yet, so it was so easy to comment on their tactics without the weight of their moment.

But now? When Marino is losing his mind in public? It’s Disney+ to the rescue.

Wisdom recognizes the right action in the right moment, the right words to use in this moment, and more often than not - the right moments to be silent.

Wisdom is not knowledge. It is not knowing.

Wisdom does not come from books or a classroom.

Wisdom comes from experience.

“Oh, but Chris, I learn from the experiences of other people.

Lol. Nah.

It may give you more information for when it is your turn, but wisdom comes only after you’ve maneuvered through the moment effectively. And to prove that, we must look at where wisdom begins.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭9‬:‭10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I’ve heard people focus on what the word “fear” means here; does it mean literal fear or respect?

Whether it’s fear or respect, both come from the same place — recognizing power beyond your own. I fear a bear because I know what it can do to me. I respect it for the same reason.

In the same way, fearing/respecting the Lord is recognizing what the Lord is able to do against my own ability. I recognize He is far more able, far more powerful, and far more knowledgeable than I am. Scripture says that’s the beginning of wisdom.

So, essentially, the beginning of wisdom is humility - a recognition that I’m nowhere near as smart as I think I am.

If you think you are wise, you probably aren’t.

We become wise as we realize our need for it.

Solomon gained wisdom when he asked for it, because he recognized his need for it.

Look at his actual request;

“And now, O Lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of David my father, although I am but a little child. I do not know how to go out or come in. And your servant is in the midst of your people whom you have chosen, a great people, too many to be numbered or counted for multitude. Give your servant therefore an understanding mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people?”” - 1 Kings‬ ‭3‬:‭7‬-‭9‬ ‭ESV‬‬

For our purposes, “Lord, I’m a kid who knows nothing - and a lot of people depend on me. HELP!”

And the Lord says, “That’s the beginning of wisdom!”

Life will teach you one thing for certain, and that is - we are kids who know nothing. The quicker we realize that, the quicker wisdom will come.

But man, it does add some perspective.

And that perspective is useless to the married person, so all we can do with it is pass it along.

My baby sister just got married on Friday, so maybe that’s why, when everyone is talking about the second rapture prediction, Christian award shows, and the like, I’m still thinking about dating.

I’ve been considering what I’d want my sister, her new husband, and any other young couple to know.

So that’s what I’m doing, here.

It would be hard to land on one single truth I wish single Chris had known, but this one is definitely close.

Single habits become magnified marriage habits.

Truth is, marriage does not change you - it only changes your status. It changes your situation.

You will be exactly who you are on the day you get married, and the day after.

Which means your habits today, the ones that don’t affect anyone but you, will follow you into marriage, where they now affect a lot more people.

Is your room clean? If not, it won’t be when you’re married.

How about your car? Same thing.

What do you expect to do when you get home after a long day?

Those expectations will follow you into marriage.

How do you speak to your family when you’re stressed? That’s exactly how you’ll speak to your spouse.

Marriage doesn’t change any of these facts. The love you feel when you walk down the aisle does not suddenly change you as an individual; it only changes what’s at stake.

The cleanliness of your car only affects you today, but it’ll affect your spouse tomorrow.

How you handle stress really only affects you right now, but eventually it will be what your spouse brings up to their friends - probably sounding something like “is this normal?”

Today’s convenience is tomorrow’s fights.

So take a moment and analyze: is this habit worth holding onto when I’m married?

Am I willing to start a fight for this?

Do I want my spouse to simply accept me for this?

Because if not, the only time you have to work on them is now. Like, right now.

This was the blessing of growing up with three sisters; I never got away with anything.

I got used to playing my part, to helping around the house, to watching shows I didn’t care about, and cleaning up after myself.

You’d think all this talent would have created a smooth transition into marriage, but not so much.

I expected things to be different now that it was my house, with a wife rather than sisters.

But my habits were still my habits.

So I had to quickly realize what I learned as a brother made me a better husband, because my habits are my habits on either side of marriage.

And here are 3 habit “areas” (couldn’t think of a better word) you should work on now, before you share a space with someone you’ve pledged your life to.

1. Habits of convenience

It simply is much more convenient to not make your bed, or clean your car, or leave your stuff around. I seriously don’t blame you, especially when you’re single.

But if you operate that way, there are only 2 options for your spouse;

First - they’re just like you. Which means your house will be nasty, and no one will want to come over. Or, at the very least, it’ll put a strain on your home and marriage when it eventually reaches a point that both of you hate.

Second option - they’re the opposite of you, and you’re driving them crazy.

Here’s how logic works - the person you marry will, logically, be the person you love the most! So, logically, it stands to reason that they’d be the person you’d do the most for. So, whether they’re a slob or a perfectionist, do them a favor now and keep your stuff clean. You’re not just cleaning, you’re sowing towards a peaceful home.

1. Habits of comfort

This may seem painful, but the reality is that our pride pursues our comfort. I’ve heard it said that pride seeks comfort, which means it seeks to displace the Holy Spirit (the comforter) in our lives.

So a habit of comfort has pride at its root, and it may sound like this;

• “I was at work all day, so I deserve to sit on the couch for a bit.”

• “I changed the last diaper, so I deserve to pass on this one.”

• “You’re the man, so you should be able to handle how I talk to you.”

• “You’re the (insert gender), that’s your job.”

All of these, even with a semblance of truth, are wrong. Because love keeps no record of wrong, which probably means it doesn’t keep a record of right either.

Is 30 minutes scrolling on your phone worth your spouse’s peace?

Are the 3 minutes it takes to change a diaper really worth keeping score?

Do you love yourself more than you love your spouse? Your kids?

These may seem like marriage issues, but they’re actually single issues; we develop these mindsets and habits while we’re single. We practice on the people currently in our lives.

How are you speaking to your parents? Your siblings?

How do you treat your family at the end of the day?

It’s all a phenomenal training ground for your marriage.

Ladies, no truer words have ever been said - if you want to see how a man will treat you, watch how he treats his mom.

1. Habits of expectation

Richelle and I did pre-marital counseling here at our church. One of our greatest takeaways, that’s saved us countless headaches, was centered around expectations.

It told the story of a newlywed couple preparing to decorate their house. Her father was a handyman who wanted a say in where everything in their home was. His dad was a “tell me where you want me” type of guy.

Without knowing, they both brought those expectations into their marriage.

She thought he’d run the show, while he thought she’d tell him exactly what she wanted.

Doesn’t seem like a big deal on the surface, but expectations that aren’t communicated can destroy the strongest of relationships.

So what can you do about that while you’re single?

A) Spend some time really considering your expectations. What will you expect from a spouse? What will they expect of you?

B) Get really good at communicating your expectations in a way that explains you, not transferring that expectation to them. (AKA, just because you expect doesn’t make it their responsibility. Make sure they know that you know that.)

C) Like the second habit, practice on the people around you. Your siblings, parents, and friends have expectations - talk about them.

Marriage does not make you a new person; it loops who you already are in with another person. It magnifies you both. So spend today building the kind of habits that your future spouse will thank God for.

Remember, today’s conveniences are tomorrow’s fights! Meanwhile, today’s work is tomorrow’s harvest.

Sow towards a harvest worth having!

So I asked our church people to make drastic changes; get in the word before you grab your phone.

I mentioned a practice I’ve carried with me for close to a decade now. I call it sermon to myself. When I was a young man, my mom encouraged me to start preaching to myself (telling myself how I would think and feel that day) before I ever tried preaching to others. And so, I created my sermon to myself.

And I thought I’d share it here for those who wanted to give it a try!

It takes about 10 mins. I encourage you to find a spot where you can play some instrumental worship music, pull this list out, and say them OUTLOUD before diving into the rest of your day.

If you plan on giving it a shot, or have done it and like the results, please share that with me in the comments!

Here it is;

Sermon to myself

God is:

• Holy!

• Worthy of all the praise that I can give!

• More than enough for me

• King of Kings and Lord of Lords

• Able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all I could ever ask or imagine

• Good

• Where my help comes from

• My defender

• My provider

• My savior

• My friend

• Perfect

• All-powerful!

• My comforter

• Strong when I am weak

• My anchor

God says:

• He sees me

• He hears me

• He knows me

• He walks with me

• He talks with me

• God says nothing, in all creation, will ever be able to separate me from His love in Christ Jesus my Lord. (I don’t live by performance!)

• God says He’s proud of me.

• God says HE has saved me, and HE is saving me.

• God says HE has forgiven me, and HIS grace is cleansing me.

• God says HE has called me, and HIS mercy is keeping me.

• God says HE has rescued my life from the pit, and HIS kindness is crowning me with love and compassion.

• God says He sees me as what I can and will be, not what I am. (what if I tried seeing people that way?)

• God says I am the head and not the tail, a victor not a victim

• God says He’s in control!

• God says He will bless all that I undertake!

• God says He is faithful to complete every good work He’s started in me (His faithfulness is a shield about me!)

• God has sent me His Spirit, which is leading me and guiding me towards righteousness.

• God says He wants to lead me beside the still waters and give me rest! Even rest in my mind

• God says He will renew my strength! Even strength in my mind. He will give me a season of refreshment!

• God says He has ordered my steps! My steps are IN ORDER. (when He says “It is done!” IT IS DONE.)

• God says He will give me the desires of my heart (List out a few desires of our heart, and update them as God delivers them!)

• God says He is intimately involved in the small details of my life

• God says He is greater than my heart! He’s greater than the chatterbox! - 1 John 3:20“for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.”

• God says I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus

• God says He wants to use me today

• God says I have new mercy today

• God says He is actively searching for ways to bless me!

• God says He will open up every door I need. This whole thing is God’s to fight

• God says the NEW has come today. Remember not the former thing! I am IN something NEW

• God says He’s seen the end from the beginning

• God says He promises to make a way when there is no way (He promises to never let it get to the place where there is no way!)

• God says He promises to make everything turn out for my good

• God says He restores my soul!

• God says I’m free today!

• God says He has not given me a spirit of fear but of sound mind!

Jesus Is:

· My Healer

· My Redeemer

· Perfect

· Seated at the right hand of the Father

· The ultimate victor

· Alive

· Grace

· Love

· All I’ll ever need

· The real reason people come to church, buy my books

· For Me

· Crushing the head of the enemy and condemnation

· Before all things, and in him all things hold together

· The image of the invisible God

Jesus Has:

· Already done it

· Already declared it finished

· All of the authority

· Given it ALL for me

· All of the power just in His name

· Torn down every stronghold coming against me and your people

· Reunited me with the Father

· Made room for the Holy Spirit in my life

· Banished all fear

· Suffered so I wouldn’t have to

· Condemned the condemner and redeemed my soul out of every adversity

I am:

• I am God’s masterpiece. I am fearfully and wonderfully made

• I was born for such a time as this!

• I am safe because He said no weapon formed against me shall prosper

• I am anointed!

• I am smart, gifted, and talented

• I am more than good enough (I have what it takes!

• I am loved

• I am a leader of leaders, an influencer to influencers

• I am able because He is able!

• I can learn more, I can control myself more, and I can focus more, I can read more!

• I DO have enough time!

• I am a child of God!

• I am blessed!

• I am right where God wants me to be

• I am strong

• I am mentally tough

• I am NOT alone

• I am whole and complete, not lacking anything

• I am emotionally stable! I am NOT anxious! I am not afraid! I am PLANTED.

• I am steadfast!

• I am full of Joy, full of energy, and excited about today! I’m excited about my future!

• I am patient

• I am creative!

• I am consistent

• I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus

• I am ready to take on this day, as long as You come with me Lord

• I am alert to the things of the Holy Spirit

• I am expectant

• I am full of joy

• I am ready for the NEW thing God wants to do!

• I am living my dream!

• I am healthy in my thoughts, my body, and my emotions

There really are people claiming the Lord has shown them in dreams that He is coming back this week. Some are warning, giving their stuff away, and preparing to be “taken up.”

Now, the apocalypse is a tricky situation..

When Jesus says, “no one knows the day or the hour,” it really does mean - well - no one.

Not them, and not me.

Not you, and not them.

We. Don’t. Know.

So what do we do when social media starts blowing up with apocalypse content?

What do we do if there is any slight chance that they’re right?

I think a few things must be addressed before we even dive into those questions.

1. Prophetic warnings are real - Noah tried to warn people. They didn’t listen.

2. The Lord will use people we don’t expect Him to use. This is a given throughout Scripture. Like, a hard to ignore through-line throughout Scripture.

3. The Lord chooses people whom He finds favor in.

4. Those people rarely ever realize they’ve found favor with God. They almost assuredly wouldn’t boast about it.

5. Jesus will return. What will it look like? I have no idea, and neither do you.

6. Our view of His return has been shaped more by movies than scripture. No arguing against that, in my opinion.

So what are we left with?

There’s a quote that is attributed, in some form, to many different theologians. The quote says something to the effect of, “We cannot know God fully, but we can know Him accurately.” I believe Romans provides evidence for this.

“For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them.” - Romans‬ ‭1‬:‭19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

What can be known.

Any Christian who’s spent some time in the faith will know there’s a wide gap between what I know and what can be known, and an even wider gap between knowing what's available to know and knowing all there is.

I find that end-time predictors believe they can somehow know the end both fully and accurately, when even Jesus says that we won’t.

But that's neither here nor there.

So what do we do with these predictions? Knowing that prophetic warnings are real and that God will use people we don’t expect?

We. Remain. Faithful.

That’s it.

I know this may seem crazy to some, but the message of Revelation is summed up in - Stay faithful, God wins.

That’s not a message to the “end,” it’s a message from now until the end.

It’s the message from heaven to every generation: stay faithful, God wins.

So, whether the end is this Wednesday or in 5,000 AD - stay faithful, God wins.

I wonder if there is comfort found in believing the end is near. “I only have to remain faithful for one more week!” It’s like that runner who convinces themselves the finish line is one lap away, when it’s really 50 laps away. If that helps you keep going, then fine!

But the call to every Christian is still the same, whether they’re right or not. Whether we have a century left or a few days.

We must remain faithful.

I’ve unfollowed so many people, from both sides of the political aisle, because I can’t handle the discourse.

And not just one side of the discourse. Some people are saying the man deserved it, or got what he had coming. That is utterly outrageous, and I’m sure that's a take they’ll want back in a few months.

But some are saying, without saying, that it’s time for war? Or further division? Or the Jew’s fault? It’s, again, utterly outrageous.

So this entire situation - his murder and the discourse - is outrageous.

Over the last eight days, people have demanded comments from political leaders, pastors, podcasters and the like. All of those comments, whatever they may be, have been put through the wringer of criticism from every which way.

People are outraged; some by the event, others are outraged over other people's outrage, while some are outraged that others aren’t outraged. But in all the anger and response, I have yet to see someone address what, to me, is a painfully obvious takeaway from the events of last week:

We need to make a drastic change.

The big, collective WE. Not just the WE of the Church, or the political parties; WE as in all of humanity.

We must look at the events of the last eight days and make a hard pivot.

We must be done with outrage culture.

If you don’t know what outrage culture is, it’s a marketing technique predicated on this fact: if they can get you mad, they have your attention. If they have your attention, they will make money. Period.

It’s not simply clickbait; it’s rage bait.

There is simply too much content out there, so they must pierce through it all in order to get our attention - and nothing captures people's attention quite like anger.

That’s why every video we’ve seen for the last decade is entitled,

“____ DESTROYS liberal college students.”

“____ ANNIHILATES pro-lifer.”

“Jordan Peterson gets WRECKED by an atheist.”

And we all thought it was harmless, but we’ve just learned we were wrong.

Outrage culture as a means of marketing must be done away with.

But you’re not a marketing executive, and neither am I. So we’re only left with one (seemingly impossible) option;

Step away.

Stop.

Put it down.

It’s time we make a drastic change, a hard pivot, and get off social media.

We must start caring about the people we can actually do life with.

No more multi-presence; the promise that we can be more connected and more informed, when we’re actually more divided and uninformed than before.

It has to stop.

We have to stop watching the 24-hour news cycle.

We have to stop sharing clips of people we disagree with in the name of showing how dumb the other side is.

We have to stop consuming so much content.

It simply cannot go on.

We should always care for the nation, especially Christians. It is our duty to be aware of what’s going on in the world.

But I argue that our way of doing so has to change.

There is simply too much fake out there today with;

• The 24-hour news cycle

• Podcasters

• Social media influencers

All of which need your attention to feed their families, and it costs us much more than dollars.

We’ve collectively become the town from the boy who cried wolf. We are no longer capable of knowing when the wolf has shown up.

Everything is always a problem. Our freedom is always at stake. Every election is the most historically pivotal election of all.

So when a tragedy takes place, we don’t even have the room to process it.

We just let the wolf ravage us.

Enough is enough.

Put the phone down.

Delete Instagram during weekdays. Spend weekends only talking to the people you can see face-to-face.

Give your brain the dopamine detox it so desperately needs.

Care for the nation only after you’ve cared for your community.

Listen to your pastor before you listen to a podcast.

Save your emotions for the people who need them!

Remember, social media is run by companies. They are businesses with employees to pay.

It isn’t real life. It’s not “how the world works.”

It’s a business with target sales and data points and metrics. It’s a designed algorithm to keep their business running.

They’ve learned that they make money when they get our attention. We get outraged and lose out on our relationship and peace, and they get rich.

Enough.

I am so outraged by Kirk's murder that I’m done with outrage culture.

I’m responding by slowing down, caring for my community, being present and available for those around me, and being ready to fight when the actual wolf strolls in.

My attention is no longer for sale.

We all eventually learn there’s a difference between playing games and playing the game.

Playing games is when someone goes through the motions of dating, saying and doing things they do not mean, all to gain something of value to them.

Playing the game means you’re putting yourself out there, trying, pushing past your comfort zone, and genuinely doing your part to find a spouse.

As a pastor, especially one with 10 years of youth and young adult experience, I’ve seen far too many people remain single simply because they do not know how to play the game. Simply put, they don’t date because they do not know how to.

I will admit, I’m no expert.

But the things I’ve noticed don’t require an expert. So here’s some advice from a non-expert;

1. Break up with your phone

Not that I’ve ever watched it, but Love is Blind makes this point for us.

I know the whole point of that show's “experiment” is to see if people can fall in love without seeing each other, but I think it’s a double blind experiment; I think the real study being done is on the effect of people’s phones on their relationships.

When they get off their phones, they can build genuine relationships with friends in just 10 days.

Without their phones, they can have deep and meaningful conversations with someone they can’t even see.

Without a phone, they truly enjoy their vacation with a complete stranger.

And then they get their phone back, and all he** breaks loose.

It’s uncanny.

How in the world will you be able to discover whether this person will be a good match for you if you’re multitasking? How will this person decide you’re the one for them if they can’t even get your full attention?

So yeah, get off your phone. Break up with your phone so you can date a real person.

It may require a phone detox since we’re all addicted, but it’s worth it.

It’s sad to think the average person needs a dopamine detox these days just for their own health, but imagine the effect that has on our relationships?

2. Look at the person

It may seem simple, but I’m always amazed by how many people talk to me without looking at me. That won’t work in dating.

I loved watching my wife grow more and more comfortable with me as she’d look at me more intently on dates. She’d look at me, not around me.

If your anxiety makes this difficult, see part 1.

If you’re too nervous, that’s the whole point.

Marriage will require truly seeing the person, and being truly seen. It’s hard to do that when you aren’t looking at them.

And while we’re on the topic, maybe we should;

3. LET THEM SPEAK

Men, if you do more than 30% of the talking on a date, you’re dating wrong.

And 50% of your 30% should be asking questions.

We have the most unfortunate habit these days of doing all the talking, and then we blame it on our personalities, or opposites attracting.

My wife is not a big talker, and I talk so much that I need Substack to get more of my thoughts out.

But I would have never gotten to know her if I hadn’t gotten a chance to hear her, so I had to shut up and let her talk.

This means asking questions, listening to the answers, allowing for awkward pauses, and the like. That’s all good and healthy.

But ladies, while I believe the man should only do 30%, that doesn’t mean you should enjoy the 70%; at least not all at once.

It’s crazy how a person can almost talk to themselves, going on rabbit trail after rabbit trail - never letting the other person get a word in. That’s bad manners.

Talk, please. We love to hear you talk. But leave some room for us to be a part of the conversation, too.

Slow down, speak intently, and let us listen.

I think 80% of us (I’m liking this percentages thing) would benefit from recording ourselves talking with a friend or relative, only to look back on it to see how we sound. Legit.

4. Limit digital interaction

I don’t think it matters if the world is moving in a more digital direction, because healthy marriages are not built on digital communication.

Don’t text all day. Don’t overdo it, especially early.

Make a list of the things you want to talk about, and then have a phone call at the end of the day.

🚨Public Service Announcement 📣

You will run out of things to talk about.

So make the most use of that time for in-person communication, or at the very least, a phone call.

Date the person, not a text thread.

If you haven’t had success dating, it could absolutely be because you haven’t found the right person yet.

But you could also be unpracticed.

I’m not saying go out there and practice.

But go out there and practice.

When the right person comes, you’ll be glad you didn’t need your phone; you could look at them, listen to them, and enjoy your conversations.

Date well, my friends.

That’s the question many are seemingly asking.

Forrest Frank went public with the news that he had broken his back, fracturing the L3 and L4 joints while skateboarding with his son.

He posted the video of it, along with the X-rays (which, to be honest, I have no idea what I’m looking at), and even posted a video of the immense pain he was in while trying to stand up.

But two weeks later, he woke up to no pain. He claims he was miraculously healed!

And so, of course, the internet was divided. I even had a few friends mention how fake it all seemed.

In the current marketing days we live in, it’s hard to trust any “story” we hear from celebrities and artists anymore. Marketers have found ways to take advantage of the worst publicity to garner the attention of the world. They have taken “no such thing as bad press” to new heights.

Is that what Forrest Frank did?

Or was he healed?

I believe the answer is obvious;

I don’t know. I’m not even sure he knows.

Healings are tricky.

I’ve been to enough youth camps to have heard tons of kids claim healing, while others were never healed.

What do you do with that? What do we do with Forrest’s healing?

🤷‍♂️

But I do know this;

My friend sent me an excerpt from a letter from the 4th century.

It was written by Emperor Julian the Apostate, the Roman ruler who tried to bring back paganism at the expense of Christianity. In his letter to a pagan high priest, he said;

“These impious Galileans not only feed their own poor, but ours also; welcoming them into their agape, they attract them, as children are attracted, with cakes.”

He genuinely complained that Christians were outpacing the pagans in love and generosity. He recognized that Christians weren’t just caring for “their own” — but for everyone, even pagans.

So for the purposes of this discussion, we must realize - the world is watching. They’re watching us just as much as they’re watching Forrest Frank. They’re watching how other Christians respond in the comment section. And sadly, they’re seeing some of us eat our own.

Which is why it doesn’t really matter if he was healed or not, at least not in this sense. We’re asking the wrong question.

Instead of asking, “Was he really healed?”

We should be asking;

“Is God able to heal?”

Because if He is, which I believe is a fact, then the world needs to know that; they need to see us experience healing.

That’s what they can see in Forrest.

We should be giving God the win and not rushing to tear down the only artist my toddler son and I love equally. I’d say, the outrage some have had may say more about our own need for healing than his.

The world is watching. And they’re watching Forrest Frank because joy emanates from everything he touches; his life, his family, his music, and his content. Forrest Frank clearly operates in the joy of the Lord. The world needs to see us operating in the joy of the Lord!

They need to know God is able to heal.

They need to see us outdoing one another in love and honor, not rushing to the comment section to troll.

We have a lot more to offer the world than skepticism and infighting.

When the world writes letters about us, let it be about God’s ability - not our own discord.

It’s Hamilton's, “That would be enough.” If you’ve never heard it, it’s hard for me to think you could get the entire idea without listening to the 2 & 1/2 hour musical. But basically, the wife of an overworking husband is pleading with him to simply stay.

Don’t go back to work. Don’t choose work over family anymore.

Just stay, “and that would be enough.”

There’s something so unbelievably powerful and emotional about someone in desperation being able to state what would fix everything; what would be enough.

She goes on to sing;

“Let this moment be the first chapter, where you decide to stay, and I could be enough. And we could be enough.”

Isn’t that gut-wrenching? This man is looking at his family, his wife and son, and it’s not enough for him - and his wife can tell.

Well, he doesn’t stay. He makes mistake after mistake and loses his wife. And then, in his desperation, when his life has completely fallen apart, he says to her, “Just hear me out, and that would be enough.”

It strikes the deepest parts of my soul. I think it’s because the word enough is tricky. Trying to define what would be enough for us can feel like a fool's errand.

When is enough, enough? Do you have enough? Have you done enough? Are you disciplined enough?

All of these questions, and the thousands like them, are impossible to answer. It’s why we generally pastor people to avoid that word enough. I’ve seen it can be the place of greatest self-judgement. We can never do enough or have enough to satisfy.

I’ve considered writing a sequel to my book Clickbait with a chapter dedicated to the Clickbait of Enough. It really can become an emotional prison for people!

But something stopped me in my tracks recently, and gave me a brand new lens for this word.

It came in an episode of The Chosen. If it matters, I have no critique of this show. I enjoy it so much, and I could not be more grateful to God for commissioning this idea in the hearts of those making it.

In this episode, they introduced the Dayenu. It’s a Hebrew word that means, “that would be enough.” It’s a Jewish song they would sing during Passover, as they would go over all of the wonderful things He had done for them.

The disciples are sitting around the Passover table with Jesus during the last supper, and they all start running through the lines of the Dayenu.

What’s so beautiful about it is that it’s obviously not enough for God, as He is preparing to deliver up His own son for His people. It’s just beautiful.

I fell in love with the Dayenu, and I needed to look into it more. I searched and searched, and finally came across another short sermon about gratitude. The pastor defined gratitude this way: connecting the gift back to the Giver.

And I simply cannot get over it.

In each line of the Dayenu, they connect the gift back to the Giver. These big events, that didn’t even take place in their lifetimes, they intentionally set aside time to connect them all back to the Giver.

Another translation of the word Dayenu is, “Thank you God for overdoing it.”

And this is what I want to come from my soul in worship. This is what I want to call normal.

I was journaling recently about these two parts of me that are seemingly present at the same time. One part of me genuinely believes that if God never gave me another thing, that would be enough. What He’s given me, in my family and my church, is more than enough.

But at the same time, there is something in me that wants more. I want more children, more territory, more influence, and God’s NEXT.

I don’t think it’s wrong, by any means, to want more. In fact, I believe a biblical understanding of God's desire for us is, in fact, to desire more.

However, I don’t even want to disconnect the gifts from the Giver. I want to live from a place that says, “thank you God for overdoing it with me.”

While I write this, I’m sitting at the most beautiful youth campground in the world. We’re in the middle of a valley with mountains all around us. Thank you, God, for overdoing it.

Most pastors wouldn’t be able to bring their families with them to minister, even at their own church camp, but my boy has had the time of his life running around this camp with his cousins. Richelle has spent the whole week chasing him, serving in their snack shack, and being by my side. Thank you, God, for overdoing it.

Most former youth pastors aren’t given any room in the new regime's plans, but my sister Gaby continues to make room for me. Thank you, God, for overdoing it.

Gaby and her team are absolute studs. Thank you, God, for overdoing it.

Most youth camps are full of kids trying to hide stuff, hating the services, and trying to get a girlfriend. Our kids have spent the whole week asking real questions, even wanting to know about speaking in tongues, all while worshipping so much that even I start to call it quits. Thank you, God, for overdoing it.

Now there have been hardships for sure, and I could absolutely focus on those. But I’m choosing to connect the gift back to the Giver today.

A song our team sang sums it up perfectly.

"If the highest place I reach is at Your feet, then I've done it all.

If the best thing that I've seen is Your glory, then I've seen it all.

If one word is the only thing You speak, then I've heard it all.

If I feel Your heart and never see Your hand, I still have it all."

Thank you God for overdoing it.

I pray we all devote some time to creating our own, personal Dayenu. I pray we are intentional about connecting the gift to the Giver. I pray our lives overflow with gratitude, all while the God who’s already done more than enough prepares to do even more.

Not only, in my opinion, is that not true, but it meant the majority of viewers missed the important conversations JP was having with his opponents.

This blog will focus on his second claim.

This claim is deeply important to humanity, not only to Christians. The repercussions of JP’s first claim seem to be limited to unbelievers, but his second claim has implications for us all.

JP debates a few people on this claim: Bryan, Luke, another Bryan, and Parker, and his discussion with each of them mirrors the discussions many of us are having with family members, coworkers, and the like.

But the importance doesn’t end there.

If JP is wrong, if morality and purpose can be found within science, then the implications are far-reaching - even into our space as Christians. Science has become its own religion, or a set way of living life, for some, with its own dogma and belief system. And unlike some other world religions, the practitioners of the religion of science seem keen on disrupting the Christian religion.

There is an urgency, defensiveness, and a passion to prove us wrong in their debates that is unique to them, which requires Christians to be prepared. We need to understand their claims in order to ultimately love the person and lead them to Christ.

This blog will look at each speaker and their own claims to help us all understand the heart of these arguments and theimplications they have on our own lives. I encourage you to give his second claim a quick watch, if you haven’t already.

Bryan #1

Bryan can’t seem to bring up evolution fast enough. He’s trying to make the point that some semblance of morality can be observed in the earliest “stages” of evolution.

Monkeys seem to understand fairness.

Neanderthals kept the weak alive even though they couldn’t help society.

In Bryan's thinking, these facts prove they have some semblance of morality. Monkeys obviously are not reading Scripture, so they must have an understanding of morality that comes from something else.

Bryan is unaware that his examples only make JP’s point, which is why this second claim is incredibly important in the life of the Christian.

Peterson says, “Science has to exist within a moral framework that isn’t itself scientific.” In laymen’s terms, we did not observe morality to discover it. We did not look through a microscope and discover morality. We did not enact an experiment that created morality.

All in all, a moral framework is not derived from the scientific method.

A quick Google search describes the steps of the scientific method this way;

1. Observation and Question:

The process begins with observing a phenomenon and formulating a question about it.

2. Research:

Gathering information about the topic through existing literature, previous studies, or expert opinions to understand what is already known.

3. Hypothesis:

Developing a testable explanation or prediction based on the research and observations.

4. Experimentation:

Designing and conducting an experiment to test the hypothesis, involving controlled variables, procedures, and data collection.

5. Analysis:

Analyzing the data collected from the experiment to determine whether the results support or refute the hypothesis.

6. Conclusion:

Drawing conclusions based on the analysis, which may lead to accepting, rejecting, or modifying the hypothesis.

7. Communication:

Sharing the findings with the scientific community through publications, presentations, or other means to contribute to the body of knowledge.

It’s evident that morality cannot be a result of the scientific method, but science can observe, question, research, hypothesize, analyze, and then draw its conclusions. That is why morality and purpose cannot be found within science, as science is a tool.

So, back to Bryan's point; even if scientists observed monkeys understanding fairness, that observation did not create the morality - it only observed it.

Now Bryan gets voted off rather quickly, so he doesn’t add anything we can discuss here. But you may encounter someone who wants to push this question further. They may try to make the point that the evolutionary process, from monkeys to humans today, can account for morality and purpose without God.

Even if this were true, it still cannot account for where it came from - science can only observe what happened. Because morality is intrinsic, we will never be able to observe its origins.

Luke

Luke's contribution is important, but mainly for reasons aligned with the larger public's takeaway from the debate in general; JP’s personal faith.

This is where I believe JP best handles the question, “Are you a Christian?”

He nods, smiles, and says, “People debate about that, and I generally don’t discuss it publicly.”

That may be unsatisfactory for some Christians, but it is clearly not a denouncement of the Christian faith, especially in light of the arguments he makes throughout the debate.

But looking at the actual claim, Luke argues that JP’s claim is incorrect because its inverse is also incorrect. He believes JP is trying to say Morality and Purpose can only be found in religion.

And he’s not wrong. Ultimately, that is the claim Peterson is making.

So, can morality and purpose only be found in religion? More specifically, the Christian faith?

Not according to Luke.

Luke, and many others today, seem to believe the Bible condones slavery. So in Luke's mind, people used the Bible to justify evil behavior. How could you make the claim that morality comes from God when God is, somehow, immoral?

JP promptly explains that it was Protestant Christians, using the Word of God as their guide, that first pushed to and succeeded in abolishing slavery. The valuing of the individual comes straight from a Christian worldview and wouldultimately lead to morality coming from God.

But Luke claims this was a win for humans, in spite of God's immorality in condoning slavery.

He believed morality evolved as society grew more and more moral. And so humans get the medal for ending slavery, not God.

He gets voted off, but I believe there are large holes in his logic.

If he is correct, that humans and morality have evolved on their own with no driver, then the world is in a very, very dangerous place.

Remember how he claims humans used the Bible to justify slavery? If we were to say that's true for the purposes of this argument, wouldn’t those people be a part of determining what is moral in the future?

If humans got the win for ending slavery, and we’re removing God from this, that means their opponents were other humans. Which begs the question: Who dictates what’s moral when people are at war in the future?

Even in our “evolved,” more modern world, the two hemispheres of our earth have drastically different opinions on morality. Who decides? As we “evolve,” how do we know we’re evolving towards the good? Who decides what that good is? And what if they’re wrong?

And if morality were a byproduct of evolution, then we would find ourselves at war with our future. We’d have a world where the youngest generation leads. They would be more evolved than us, and would have a better understanding of morality as a result. That’s clearly immoral.

Bryan the 2nd

This Bryan, like the first, doesn’t take long to make his point.

“If we can create heaven on earth without god, does that defeat your claim?”

This is in line with what Luke was saying, and it’s what’s funny to me about the crowd that wants to remove God from morality: they create the hypothetical situation where God has asked His people to do something immoral and then ask us what we would do.

They assume if they can get us to admit we’d do something immoral just because God said so, then we would be admitting defeat. They fail to realize God and morals cannot be separated, because (to edit JP’s original claim and formulate my own) morality and purpose are found in God alone.

Something is moral because God says it is; that's what makes it moral.

Because there is no other logical way for morality to exist.

God is not able to ask us to do something immoral and cannot do something immoral; if He asks, or does it, it is moral.

Luke argues for the role of motivations on morality; if you are moral for the purpose of going to heaven, your motivation is wrong, which makes you immoral. He implies that Christians aren’t able to be truly moral because our motivations are for our own benefit.

But this is, to put it unkindly, utterly ridiculous. The Christian faith shares the good news of Christ for the benefit of the person we’re sharing it with, not the person sharing it.

We operate in good works as a byproduct of our faith; a cause and effect, as it were.

But this argument falls short even more brutally when you consider the seat you are forced into when you take God off ofHis. Bryan the 2nd is operating as judge and jury here, as he (or someone) gets to decide what someone’s motivation is.

Which takes us back to Luke; if we remove God from morality, who decides what is moral?

But here’s what’s odd: if the whole idea is to dismiss God, who Christians believe is the eternal judge, then why have any idea of a judge at all? If you’re creating a morality without God, then why not create a morality without a judge?

It’s because even they know morality and the rewards that come with it must be determined and presided over by a judge who cannot be compromised. Atheists (or practitioners of the religion of science) don’t want to change how everything works; they only want to change the hand at the wheel.

But, in line with JP’s first claim, I’m not sure they understand how difficult that is.

Bryan the 2nd, maybe unintentionally, commits the “sin of oversimplification” when he says;

“Without the certainty of God, I wake up every day to be a moral person.”

JP presses him - “What does it mean to be moral?”

Bryan the 2nd - “What benefits the earth and every person.”

And this takes us back to our original question - who decides what benefits someone? Or the earth? Who gets to be judge?

Making a choice that benefits the entire earth, just the earth, is incredibly difficult. We try solar panels so we can haveclean energy, only to find that removing the green spaces has a negative effect on the planet. We try paper straws only to find they also have a negative effect on the environment.

If we can’t even come to a consensus on what would benefit the earth, how in the world will we ever reach consensus on what would benefit every single person?

It’s hard enough to get our country on the same page about anything. Why would we take on this enormous task without God?

Parker

Parker is another one who made the rounds on socials.

I’ll admit, at first glance, it seems like Parker got under JP’s skin. Some would say he even caught JP slipping!

But I believe Parker was JP’s best work, and we can learn a lot from their interaction.

As a point of order here, one of the viral clips was Parker saying JP’s “view of God” was not one that typical Christians adhere to. He’s not wrong. But he’s not right either. Put a pin in that. We’ll come back to it.

After pressing Peterson on his own faith again, Parker reached for the lowest hanging fruit possible; he brought up Hitler.

To put it quickly, JP is answering Parker's question about what it means to believe something. Peterson answers by saying, “If you believe something, you live for it, and you die for it. You stake your life for it.”

Parker, and maybe many others, believe this is ridiculous. In his mind, someone would obviously lie to protect their lives.

JP says, while grinding his teeth, “Don’t be so sure.”

And this is when Parker brings up Hitler and Nazi Germany; obviously, you’d lie to protect the Jews, right? We’ve all thought of this before. Would we stick to our “morals,” like lying is a sin, in order to save our lives?

But JP presents something that I think we’d be wise to process.

He essentially says if you ever found yourself in the place where only lying would save you, you have made a lot of mistakes to put yourself in that position. He reminds the audience that he did not lie to save his career, or practice, or anything else. This is significant.

The hypothetical “Nazi at your door” scenario actually doesn’t apply to what JP is saying, which is why he gave the answer he gave. Parker is trying to say it’s “dumb” to believe something so much that you wouldn’t lie, even if the lie saved your life. This is why the Nazi hypothetical breaks down: because the lie saves someone else in that scenario. JP is saving you believe something so deeply, that (going back to Parker's hypothetical) Jews deserve life, that he would in factlie. Because lying, in that sense, is what would align with his beliefs. Lying is what would put JP in danger, not telling the truth.

So Peterson believes in his convictions so much that he’d be willing to lose his life in order to operate in his beliefs.

This is why I believe Parker is right when he says JP’s view of God is not shared by the average Christian. He thought this was a diss, but I think he paid JP a compliment.

Parker thinks JP’s definition of God is not shared by Christians, but it’s actually his definition of belief; the average Christian doesn’t hold the same definition of belief.

Which is further evidence for JP’s original claim, that morality and purpose cannot be found in science and can only be found in God.

Our moral code does not shift with the culture. We are not willing to change what is right and wrong because it makes other people comfortable. In fact, we will defend morality even if it costs us our popularity.

The atheist believes what is moral is what will make them the most loved, while the Christian believes the way I love you the most is by laying out God's unchanging word to you. That’s morality. That’s what’s right.

Morality comes from God and cannot be separated from Him. Because He is the judge of right and wrong. Even if someone were to disagree with me, a pastor, on what is right or wrong, God will ultimately decide between us. That’s ultimately moral. I don’t get to decide what’s right, and neither do you. I say again, that is what is moral.

JP understands this.

I hope Bryan, Luke, Bryan the 2nd, and Parker have a better understanding of it.

And I hope you do, now, as well.