English version below.

這陣子睡了很多覺，那種「通勤路上覺得好累好累要趕快找個位子坐下閉上眼睛」的感受消失在生活裡的感覺，真的好好喔，神清氣爽。

這種除了原本的家教之外其餘空白的日子，思考了很多生活生命人生的種種。人、或是說自己，到底需要什麼？我喜歡怎麼樣的生活模式呢？我們存在為了什麼？而人們生下孩子，對於來到這個世界的孩子們來說，好處又是什麼呢？好多問題都還沒有答案。

非常喜歡這段以自己為中心的時光，睡覺、運動、閱讀、音樂、影劇、健行和空白。希望自己能成為不被單一工作職稱定義的人，能成為一直記得把自己的身體放在第一位的人。

文字的交集

這兩個月陸續看了《走進布農的山》、《用頭帶背起一座座山》，最近正在看《西納列克》。三本書剛好都提到了原住民跟山的關係，還有日本統治時期留下的傷痕。關於隘勇線的推進、失去生命的族人變成一塊紀念碑、那些無法回到家屋的痛苦、還有為了想留在山林而成為背工或是巡山員的族人們。除了這些傷痛之外，也好敬佩書裡提到的，關於山的各種認識跟智慧。

近期也在看《Outlander 異鄉人：古戰場傳奇》影集，是個女主角原本二戰時在英國軍隊當護士，意外穿越到兩百年前的故事。前半段的故事涵蓋了 18 世紀蘇格蘭在英國統治下受到的壓迫。這些書和影劇的故事巧合般地彼此交集，看著這些當權者對於當地住民的高壓統治，覺得人類文明發展如此長久，好像有些進步，但隨權勢而來的殘酷是如此相似。

另外的膚淺心得是，蘇格蘭戰士們的衣服好好看，有夠帥。蘇格蘭的蓋爾語（Gaelic）也好好聽，哈哈。

青春和連結

六月底跟高中同學們一起去了一趟宜蘭兩天一夜的小旅行，包棟民宿真適合多人出遊，也不怕吵到別人。這次的旅行攜伴的比例很高，隻身前往的我因此有機會和一個很久沒單獨聊天的同學同房。躺下的時候還好清醒，從閒聊開始，互相分享了這幾年各自的生活軌跡和煩惱，不知不覺聊到凌晨四點，真是沒想到還能進行這種年輕的行程（笑）。能有這樣的機會重新接上彼此的人生，真是珍貴的機會。雖然我們都不能完全理解對方，但能這樣分享心情，或許也有一種「啊我們都不是唯一遇到這種困難的人」的寬慰吧。

我有個從小學到大學都同校的好友，畢業後陸續去了日本工作、美國讀書。現在在美國跟伴侶結婚，工作生活。我們久久才能見一次面互相擁抱，近一年約定兩個月視訊一次。每一次都聊得不亦樂乎，掛掉電話後覺得心口像是棉花糖一樣，蓬鬆開心。很感激有這樣的視訊之約，能夠定期更新彼此的生活，幫自己的快樂充電。

我與媽木

七月在高雄看了 MAMAMOO 睽違三年多的演唱會。

沒有想到一轉眼已經喜歡媽木七年了。一直覺得喜歡一首歌或許是某種機緣。身邊有個高中同學更早成為歌迷，送過我幾張專輯，當時播放的時候就只是順順地聽過去，沒特別記得哪首歌。

2019 年初，在交換學生住處的房間內，點了 Youtube 上的某一個 MV，因而開始認識了這四個歌唱實力堅強、又真誠好笑的女子。他們的專輯《Yellow Flower》，陪著我收了回家的行李；成員在練習室邊跑步邊練唱的影片，是我每次慢跑覺得太累了撐不下去的時候會想起的畫面。因為想聽懂他們在說什麼而開始學韓文，感受到自己聽懂越來越多的成就感。

疫情後終於等到他們來台，聽他們現場的機會卻因為黃牛氾濫一張票都點不到。不服輸的粉絲們因而組成「屠牛小分隊」推動修法。後來靠著朋友收到一張票，聽到現場的 Paint Me 的瞬間真是淚如雨下。啊，原本在螢幕裡的人們，站在舞台上唱著歌啊。是跟耳機播出來不同的厚度的，現場的歌聲啊。

當初因為臺灣場買不到票還去了一趟新加坡，還在吃海南雞飯的時候巧遇也飛來看的朋友，超有趣。

這幾年他們各自發展個人的音樂事業，睽違三年多再次合體，非常感謝朋友們神手搶到票。走出演唱會會場時，再次體會到現場能量帶來的感動，那是讓人們一次又一次排除萬難前往的吸力；還有每場可能會出現的不同狀態，也是讓人想盡可能全勤每一次演出的原因啊。這些對於音樂跟團體的愛，在每個歌迷生活中都創造獨一無二的故事，想想就覺得好神奇喔。

而這次演唱會之外，最喜歡的是在咖啡廳裡靜靜看書的時光。那個時間裡面，只有自己、眼前的字、跟桌上的飲料存在。平靜且安靜。

六七月的書

前陣子心血來潮重看了《強風吹拂》，還是在各種段落被感動到眼眶濕濕、胸口震動。久違看了胡晴舫《城市的憂鬱》，有夠喜歡他散文中的冷靜透澈。

終於看了《眾神之島》，每一篇都是跟一個神明有關的小故事，非常溫暖，好喜歡。之後要再來看《眾神之島 2》跟《眾神之島 3》。《時間迴旋》是一個關於某個晚上，星星都不見的科幻小說，蠻少看這類型的作品，覺得非常有趣。

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moments in june + july

• 走了臺北大縱走第七段，從指南宮的千階步道開始。覺得高度友善的階梯真的不喘很多！結束的點在政大後山，只能說真的是一個荒涼的地方，下一班公車還要三四個小時的那種（笑）。下山的路上我們遇到一個超有活力的阿媽，說自己每天都出門走至少七千步，撿了各種山的三角點，還一直跟我們說可以走哪裡哪裡。希望自己到了他的年紀也可以一直對世界保有好奇心，還有靈活矯健的身體。

• 七月底考了台語認證考試，聽說讀寫都有。覺得自己還有好多領域的日常字彙還不知道，台羅、台語正字、還有音調也都還要繼續加強。一起考試的有好多是小學生，聽他們中間休息說「哇剛剛好簡單」，真讚。想想自己的英文跟韓文都比台文還好，覺得有點悲傷。明明是屬於這個土地的、是爸媽跟阿公阿媽長大的語言啊。這種時候都會更加怨恨當初中國國民黨的國語政策，讓這個多語的島變成華語為主的島。

  

• 看完了一部超級喜歡的韓劇《畢業》！非常流暢自然，沒有那種讓人想快轉的尷尬場面，就這樣順順地一直看下去。主角是在補習熱區的國語名師（鄭麗媛好美好帥氣，每套衣服都好好看），我好喜歡女主角。劇裡有補習班業界之間的角力，以及主角因為戀愛關係而察覺到自己的新面貌，可以看到每個人的優點跟缺點。最喜歡的是每個角色從一開始到最後一集的成長，好好看。不過每次看韓劇都想說大家體力真好，下班都十點了還可以吃飯喝酒聊天到好晚，哈哈哈。

• 某天健行完買了烏弄的鮮橙金萱烏龍（無糖去冰），好好喝喔！柳橙的味道、茶香跟尾韻都好讚。喝得出來是一杯用心的飲料，而且是南投名間的茶葉。臺灣茶讚讚，烏弄讚讚。雖然分店實在是不多，每次遇到都會很開心。

• 發現每次經期想用的接血工具不一定一樣，靠一個感覺。有時候想用衛生棉，有時候想用棉條，也有時候想用月亮碟片。可以有選擇的感覺很不錯。雖然一天要拿出來清洗兩次，但月亮碟片真的是讓經期最無感的用品，感恩這個偉大的發明。

• 前陣子看到很多人分享，也去健身房嘗試了跑步機爬坡。哇一下子就流超多汗，然後邊看劇一下子時間就過了。不像在跑步機跑步盯著那個時間，覺得每一秒也過太慢的感覺哈。更可以感覺到臀部跟腿後的發力，是個關於身體的新體驗。

• 去年開始每天早上量完體重之後會做三個拜日式。最近感受到真的養成習慣的瞬間，是腦袋其實覺得有點懶不想做，結果身體還是自己動起來鋪好瑜伽墊，站上去開始啟動的時候。還有另一天也想偷懶，但身體有個聲音覺得沒做怪怪的，也是像自動導航一樣鋪好瑜伽墊的瞬間。真是好神奇。

• 最近發現我正職以外的家教即將進入第七年，從姐姐升小二到現在要升國二了。真感謝這段緣分。教學相長，我也跟著這對姐弟成長了很多呢。

炎炎夏日加上颱風季，希望你也有個愉快平安的八月，一起多喝水！

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me as the center of life

I’ve been resting a lot in June and July, and also been thinking lots of things about life.

I’ve been sleeping a lot more these days. It feels spectacular that the feeling of “oh my god I am so tired I need a seat on my commute train” has not appeared in my life for quite a long time. Refreshing.

The days are blank aside from the English tutor classes I already had. Sleep, exercise, read, music, TV series, hiking, and blankness. I do hope that I can become someone not defined by my job title, and someone who always puts my body as my first priority.

connection of words

In these two months, I have read 走進布農的山, Moving Mountains, and recently I have been reading Snaliq. All three of them mention the relationship between the aboriginal people and the mountains. The scars from the Japanese colonial period, the invasion of the aboriginal boundary, a monument without the names of the lost people, the pain of not being able to return to their homeland, and those who work for others to stay in the mountains. Besides this misery, I admire their wisdom and knowledge of the mountains so much.

I have been watching the TV series Outlander as well. It is a time-traveling story. A woman who used to be a combat nurse accidentally travelled back 200 years. The story in seasons 1 and 2 portrays the pressure in Scotland under English rule. The books and the series coincidentally share something similar. Humanity has evolved for such a long time. It seems we have improved at some point, but the cruelty from power is still the same.

Another shallow thought is that Scottish warriors look so nice in their outfits! And Gaelic sounds so nice as well.

youth and connections

I a trip to Yilan with my high school classmates last month. It was really nice that we could reserve a whole b&b so others would not be annoyed by our noise. There were lots of us bring their partner for the trip, so I got to share a room with someone I have not talked to alone with for a long time. We happened to talk until 4 am, and I could not believe I did something so like a teenager haha. We shared our lives in the past years, and things that bothered us recently. It was such a precious opportunity to do something like this. Although it is impossible to fully understand one another, sharing and staying make it feel less alone when experiencing such emotions and situations.

I have a friend who went to the same school as me from elementary school to college. She went to Japan for work after graduation, studied in the US, and now she is married to her partner and works there. We can not meet in person often, so we try our best to FaceTime each other every two months. I feel so happy EVERY TIME. Whenever we hang up the call, I can feel my heart full with happiness and energy. I am so thankful for this regular meetup, to catch up our lives, and recharge myself as well.

mamamoo and me

I went to Kaosiung for MAMAMOO’s concert in July.

I cannot believe I have been loving them for seven years. The love for some songs is more like a chance of luck at some point. One of my old friends had already been a fan of them before me, and she even gifted me some of their albums, but it did not get me hooked back then.

Until 2019, in the room where I was an exchange student, I clicked on one music video on YouTube, and I started to discover these four strong singers with pure hearts. Their album Yellow Flower accompanied my days of packing back home, and the video of running and singing in the practice room gave me strength when I wanted to give up during my jogs. I started to learn Korean since I wanted to know what they say during concerts, and it feels so nice to understand more and more.

When I finally got the chance to see them in Taiwan after COVID, I could not even get one ticket due to scalpers. Fans started to gather together and pushed the legislators to adjust the law. In the end, my friend found one ticket for me. My tears fell when I heard them sing “Paint Me” live. “It’s their live vocals, not from the earphones. They are really in front of me, not just on the screens.”

When I could not get a ticket to the Taiwan concert, I even went to Singapore for them. I even bumped into another friend when I was eating chicken rice in the market. Such a coincidence.

In the past three years, they have focused more on their solo music career. So I am really grateful that my friends got the tickets for me! I could feel the energy of live music after the concert when I came out of the venue. I guess that is why people want to see them live again and again. Apart from that, little differences between each concert, such as the atmosphere, the tension, the talking, and the encore songs, are the reasons why people want to go as many as possible.

It is so beautiful to think that all this music and love play various parts in different people’s lives.

During the trip, what I loved the most was the time reading in the coffee shops. Those moments were really quiet and calm. There were only me, the words in front of me, and the drink on the desk. Simple, but enough.

books in june+july

I thought of Run with the Wind a while ago and read it again, and was still touched in so many parts of the story with my eyes wet. It has been a while since I read essays from 胡晴舫, and I still like it a lot. Her calmness and her observant eyes. I read 眾神之島 finally. It includes lots of stories related to gods in Taiwan. The whole book makes your heart feel warm, and I cannot wait to read the second and the third one. Spin by Robert Charles Wilson is a science fiction novel that starts from one night: all the stars just disappeared. I do not read sci-fi novels often, and that is really cool.

moments in june + july

• My friend and I went hiking on the 7th part of the Taipei Grand Trail, starting from the Zhinangong Hiking Trail. The stairs with friendly heights did make the whole climb much easier. While the ending point at NCCU Back Mountain is really out of nowhere, with the next bus 3-4 hours after. When walking down, we encountered a grandma who walked at least 7,000 steps every day. She collected a lot of mountains in Taipei, and suggested lots of places to hike in the future. I do wish I could have the energy and this curiosity towards the world when I came to her age.

• I took a Taiwanese test at the end of July, with speaking, listening, reading, and writing. I found there are still so many words in ordinary life that I do not know yet. I will continue to work on my Tai-lo, the words, and the tones. There were lots of elementary school students who took the test as well, and it was really nice to hear them say “it was pretty easy!” I could not help but feel a bit ashamed about it, since my English and Korean are both way better than my Taiwanese. And this makes me hate KMT more about their “Official Language Policy.” The language that my grandparents and my parents grew up with is slowly dying.

  

• I watched a Korean TV series, The Midnight Romance in Hagwon, and I love a lot! The whole series is so smooth and natural, and you just want to watch it continuously. The main character is one of the top teachers in the popular cram school area. Oh, I love her outfits so much, and she is so pretty! There are stories of the competition between cram schools, and you can see the characters grow throughout the relationships.

• I bought orange oolong tea from UNOCHA after a hike. It was so nice! They use really high-quality Taiwanese tea. Come and try it when you see it.

• During each period time, I find myself wanting to use different tools to catch the blood. Sometimes I want to use a pad, sometimes a tampon, and sometimes a menstrual disc. It feels nice to have all those choices. With the menstrual disc, although it is kind of annoying to take it out and wash it, it is truly the most period-free tool. Such a wonderful invention.

• I tried to use the treadmill to walk uphill a few weeks ago. I sweated so much within a short time, and the time passed so fast when watching drama during the walk. I can also feel the strength in my hips and legs. New body-related experience.

• I have a morning routine from last year: three sun salutations after weighing myself. Recently I can feel it imprinted in my body. Some days I feel lazy, not wanting to do it, but my body just moved automatically with the yoga mat and started doing them. It seems my body finds it weird not doing it, even though my mind is lazy. This is so cool.

• I found out the English tutor outside my full-time job is coming to its 7th year. I started it when the older sister was going to be in second grade in elementary school, and now she is going to be in eighth grade. I have learned a lot during the process as well. Grateful for this pair of siblings.

Summertime with the typhoon season. Hope you have a joyful August.

Let’s drink lots of water!

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English version below.

脊椎側彎跟走路

我是在國中體檢發現脊椎側彎的。

那時候是二十度左右，去看過骨科之後醫生說不需要穿背架也不用手術，如果也不影響日常生活的話這樣就可以了。後來就帶著這個狀況一直生活了好久，除了肋骨一邊比較前凸之外，並沒有其他腰痠背痛的困擾。

前年在 threads 上看到有物理治療師分享關於脊椎側彎的矯正，看著前後對比更加平衡的照片，第一次知道原來還有方法可以改善。為了去自費的物理治療所，也重新跑一趟骨科診所照了 X 光，骨科醫生只說：「啊你這個多運動、吊單槓跟拉筋就好，其他沒什麼用啦。」

帶著新拍的 X 光片去做物理治療評估，物治師說我算很幸運，側彎度數在國中之後沒有什麼改變，因為很多人會在青春期度數增加。他跟我說明脊椎結構跟彎曲的樣子，並跟我說課程中會怎麼透過呼吸跟姿勢，在每堂課慢慢矯正。

開始了這趟緩慢的旅程後，每一次、每一堂課都有夠累。在不同的姿勢呼吸，用自己的力氣把氣吸到原本抵達不了的地方。每一次呼吸都要注意好多地方：把氣往哪些地方推、胸椎的位置、某一邊肩膀要注意不要抬起來、骨盆某一側往後一些、手往哪一邊用力⋯⋯。每次練完一組都覺得剛剛好忙錄、好累。

十分緩慢地，突出的肋骨逐漸往回靠攏，以前上半身幾處緊繃的肌肉也慢慢被我的呼吸撐開，身體看得出來比以前更平衡一點。成果並非一蹴可幾，可能跟很多人生其他的事情一樣。可能緩慢，但知道自己身體一次比一次進步一點，再過久一點往回看，又能看到自己已經進步多少了。

・・・

五月初的治療中，練習了調整肋骨跟骨盆的位置，然後物治師要我在教室走一走，嘗試記住現在的感覺。過了一陣子後，我發現那是一個脊椎很正的感覺。漸漸地，我好像可以開始在日常生活中找到那個感覺去走路。用這樣的位子去走路的時候，更能感覺到下肢尤其是臀肌的發力，還有怎麼使用核心去穩定。

在這個年紀重新學習走路的感覺很有趣，練習脫去二三十年來的習氣，重新練習、認真感受、細心覺察自己的身體。發現自己蠻喜歡做這種需要時間和耐心，無法一下子看到成果，但長遠來說是在變得更好的事情。總覺得這樣再回頭看的時候，會覺得這些過程很迷人，還有為自己的耐心跟時間感到驕傲。

在城市與茶園的健行

趁著現在無正職的自由，在五月選了一天平日和朋友去走了臺北大縱走第五段。這個時節真的有點熱，但沒想到有從士林走到內湖的一天，覺得自己真了不起⋯⋯。近期為了想加強自己健行的腿力，回家也從搭電梯盡量改成走樓梯，不確定是不是有點幫助。總是在每一次上坡的時候在腦中呼喚我的下肢肌肉們，希望他們上場努力，避免用錯地方代償。

月底去走了雲林古坑的大尖山跟後棟仔山，第一次在茶園之間爬坡，雲霧繚繞。一開始的路實在是太陡了，才剛開始走就覺得心率飆升到不行。後面也是各種充滿上坡的路段，走完之後，覺得自己心肺跟腿還要繼續練練⋯⋯。

健行頻率漸高，也發現自己在各種裝備使用上逐漸熟稔。近期覺得一邊走用水袋喝水真的好方便，不需要向後從背包拿水壺，大容量也不怕水帶不夠；之前買了水袋專用的清洗工具，也能更好地把水袋吸管洗乾淨。每次洗完晾乾都覺得很有成就感，又完成了一次旅程。

目前有兩個適合戶外活動用的背包，一個十六公升，一個二十五公升。比較大的那顆有腰帶，左側的腰帶還有一個放手機的延伸口袋。記得自己去年底開始用的時候，很常因為覺得手機卡不進去感到煩躁，現在已經更能熟練地將手機卡進去那個收納空間了，尺寸非常完美。

越走越多次能明顯感受到自己經驗值增加，更知道哪些東西需要帶、東西怎麼放才好、食物要帶多少、背包位置怎麼調整、肩帶高度怎麼拉才能走得舒適。回想去年底去走霞喀羅古道前的自己，已經默默成長了很多了呢，真不錯。

許願今年可以把臺北大縱走完成。

moments in may

• 《臺灣漫遊錄》得了國際布克獎真的太快樂了。謝謝楊双子跟金翎的感言，你們給了好多人力量跟勇氣吧。記得第一次看是在前公司的最後一段日子，2021 在台中當巡迴書展工讀生的時候看的，當時還跟同事討論了一番那個作者譯者標示的爭議（同事表示覺得被騙、生氣哈哈）。翻譯跟出版造成這幾年的時差，但故事去到了更遠的地方了耶，總是為人能帶來的影響感到驚奇。

• 跟伴侶一起去聽了 Cicada，開場一下子就流眼淚了也不知道為什麼。每次在看演唱會和表演的時候都會想著，哇台下這麼多人因為這些音樂在生活中有了某些故事啊。人在某個時刻做的某件事，讓另一個人的生命產生了一點點改變，這真是一件好神奇的事。

  

• 五月底進戲院看了紀錄片《神木之島》，是「找樹的人」在臺灣各地山區、森林尋找最高樹的過程。片中也有看到之前《旅行在樹梢》的作者藍永翔有提到的台灣杉三姊妹，有種世界連在一起的感覺。看電影的心得是，哇可以透過銀幕看見這些壯麗的景色，真是感謝。畢竟團隊在這個過程中跋山涉水、各種陡上看起來有夠累人⋯⋯。

• 本月完食的書：《東京日日3》，結尾收得真好嗚嗚。《山茶花情書》是系列的第三集，也是好好看喔。《博士熱愛的算式》是從數學到學習愛的故事，好溫暖。

• 好好睡覺盡情賴床，看書看劇看漫畫的日子真讚。

謝謝五月，休息的感覺真好。

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learn how to walk again

Some realizations of gradual growth that happened in May.

scoliosis and walking

My scoliosis was found after the health check in junior high.

At that time, it was about 20 degrees. The orthopedist said there was no surgery or spinal braces needed. I could leave it like that if it does not bring any inconvenience to my daily life. I have been with it for such a long time; there’s no pain except my uneven ribs.

Two years ago, I saw a physical therapist share an example of scoliosis treatment on Threads. The patient’s body visibly became more even afterwards. That was my first time knowing there was a chance to improve the situation. I went to a clinic first to get a new X-ray photo, and the doctor only said: “You just exercise more, hang on the bars, and do some stretches. There will not be any more changes in the future.”

I brought my new X-ray photo to the physical therapist, and she said I am lucky that my scoliosis degree did not increase during my puberty. It actually happens quite often. She explained the structure of our spines and how the scoliosis looks, and told me how we would use breathing to improve.

I feel exhausted after every class since this journey started; breathing in different kinds of postures, trying to make the air go to places it has not reached before. I have to be aware of so many details at once: where to push my air to, the position of my chest, the balance of my shoulders, the position of my pelvis, the direction of my arms… I always feel so busy and tired after a set.

From time to time, my ribs become much more balanced; a few parts of the muscles start to extend with my breath. My upper body is visibly more balanced than before. The outcome takes time, just like a lot of things in life. I believe that my body improves a little bit after every class, and I believe the progress will be more obvious when I look back again in the future.

・・・

During the class at the beginning of May, I practiced the position of my ribs and pelvis, and my PT asked me to walk around in the room and try to remember the feeling of my body. After a while, I found out that it is the feeling of my spine in an upright position. I started to be able to recall that position during my daily walk in life, and I can feel the strength of my lower body and the stability of my core muscles.

It is a cool thing to learn how to walk again at this age. I have to get rid of my habits from the past twenty-ish years, practice again, feel again, and be aware of tiny differences in my body. I love doing things that take time but bring positive outcomes in the long run. The process is fascinating when looking back, and I feel proud of my patience and what time brings me at the end.

hike in the city and between the tea garden

Since I do not have a full-time job now, my friend and I hiked the 5th part of The Taipei Grand Trail on a weekday. It is said that this section is beginner-friendly. It was quite hot that day, and I had never imagined that I could walk from Shilin to Neihu… We are very proud of ourselves. I have been trying to strengthen my lower body these days, so I have been climbing the stairs instead of taking the elevator when I go home. Hope it helps. I always talk to the muscles of my lower body when climbing upwards: “Come on! Come on!”

At the end of May, I went for a hike in Yunlin, the trail of Dajian Mountain and Houdongshan. It was my first time hiking between the tea gardens covered in mist and clouds. However, the uphill in the beginning is so steep that I was so out of breath afterwards. Overall, there are so many uphills that pushed me to train more for my lower body and cardio.

With more experience in hiking, I feel more familiar with all the equipment as well. Recently, I have loved using a hydration bladder to drink water. It is very convenient to drink water during the hike without taking the water bottle from the backpack, and the storage is large enough that I do not need to worry about a lack of water in this hot weather. I bought the washing tool for it a while ago, and I love the feeling after washing and drying my hydration bladder. It is another completion of my journey.

I have two outdoor backpacks now, one is 16L, and the other is 25L. The bigger one has a waist belt, and there is also a pocket for the phone on the left side. I still remember how clumsy I was when I first started to use it and had a hard time putting my phone inside that pocket. Now I can find the perfect angle and slide my phone in. It is a perfect match.

I got more familiar with what to bring, how to arrange things, how much food to bring, how to adjust the backpack, and how tall my backpack should be. When recalling myself hiking the Syakaro Historic Trail last year, I can see the growth since then. Such a nice thing.

My goal is to complete all the Taipei Grand Trail this year.

moments in may

• I am so happy that Taiwan Travelogue won the 2026 International Booker Prize! Thanks to the speech from Yáng Shuāng-zǐ and Lin King, I believe you bring courage and inspiration to so many people in the world. I read the book in 2021 during the last period of my previous job as a part-time worker at the touring book fair in Taiwan. My colleague and I even discussed a bit about how the writer and translator should be shown back then. Translation and publication create a time gap, but they also bring the story further. It is always amazing to see how people influence each other.

• My partner and I went to a concert by Cicada. My tear just fell during several songs in the opening, and I had no idea why. Whenever watching concerts and shows, I always think about how the music brings stories into so many people’s lives. It is so amazing that something a person did has made a change to another person somewhere else.

  

• I watched the documentary The Island and the Trees in May. It recorded the process of finding the tallest tree across Taiwan. The trees mentioned in a book I read in March were included in the film as well. It is cool that the dots connect. It is a blessing to see those marvelous forests and mountains on big screens.

• Finished Tokyo Those Days 3, the ending is wholesome.

• It is so wonderful to live a life of sleeping, reading, and watching TV series recently. Yay.

Thanks May. It feels so good to rest.

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English version below.

睽違十年再訪臺灣 / 七年後再見之友

想想還是覺得這趟旅程很不真實。

大五的時候去了芬蘭交換一學年，因為語言交換的緣故認識了我唯一的芬蘭朋友 J（上課好難交到朋友，大家下課就一溜煙不見了）。他因為 2016-17 有來政大交換過、一直有在學華語、也了解臺灣政治局勢，非常好聊。那年遇到反同公投（在國外都會被問「你們國家反同喔？」有夠羞愧）、韓國瑜選上高雄市長、然後香港反送中，我們在咖啡廳聊天一邊講一邊覺得好傷心。

這些年一直維持聯繫，前幾年也寄了一些喜歡的書給對方（我寄華語、他寄英文），那時候其中一本是楊双子的《花開時節》，還在書展聽完講座後請他 To 簽了朋友的華語名字（他現在是擁有國際布克獎得主簽名的人了！）。還寄了歐洲很難買到的好用文具們哈哈，他竟然說 uniball 0.38 鋼珠筆是全世界最好用的筆！我想說這不就是大家學生時期的日常筆嗎，在亞洲的我們真的是文具富翁。

在 whatsapp 聊天室裡，我們一直時不時嚷嚷說很期待下次見面。他說很想念臺灣、我說很想念赫爾辛基、想念跟他面對面聊天、還有想念他的可愛狗狗。我們就這樣唸唸唸到去年，他跟我說他應該今年有機會來，他在看機票了！確定日期之後我們開始討論他想去哪些地方，最後敲定了阿里山、台南、跟澎湖（這幾年他看我回鄉，一直很想去看看）。

・・・

阿里山的住宿跟交通是本次最讓我焦慮的部分。因為沒有要開車上山，基本上以園區內的住宿為主，但真的要很早訂，不然就會像我們兩個人兩個月前訂但只能訂到四人房（笑）。另一個挑戰是上山的林業鐵路小火車，一天上山的只有兩班，會抵達阿里山站的只有一班。官網在兩週前早上六點會開放訂票。好不容易早起、準備好之後，體感是點進去的第一秒就賣完了吧！！！好悲傷。

戰敗後帶著沮喪的心情繼續爬文，在臉書的鐵道旅行社團找到一個「森林好好玩」的網站可以在兩個月前預訂（我學會了，與眾分），連忙訂好回程下山的火車。後來和朋友討論了一陣，決定訂前一班早上 9:00 的小火車到奮起湖，吃完午餐後，再轉中午 12:50 的台灣好行客運上山。

不過如果對小火車沒有執著的話，嘉義直達阿里山的台灣好行班次也很多，還可以預約座位。也有查到雄獅上山的遊覽車加上導覽，但只有週五跟假日才有。

另一個小波折是原本計劃從台南搭飛機回澎湖，但發現一天只有一班已訂位客滿。後來選擇從高雄搭，順便帶朋友看看這十年來進化蛻變的高雄。

・・・

接機那天真是期待又緊張到在接機大廳跳來跳去釋放能量，看見朋友出現在眼前那刻真是叫出來，啊啊啊啊。好不真實啊啊啊啊啊。

嘉義和阿里山

在辦完離職當天中午，和 J 一起搭高鐵抵達嘉義，一路上看到好多滿開的油桐花，好漂亮。本來預計要去故宮南院，結果忘記算到週一休館（哈），但也因此逛到了 J 非常喜歡的花磚博物館！也算是某種幸運。

阿里山林業鐵路跟台鐵是不同公司，所以如果網路系統訂的領票是去林鐵的窗口（只開八點到五點）。如果是森林好好玩訂票，直接出示 QR Code 就可以上車了（沒有實體車票）。

・・・

對於旅遊計劃總是隨性的我，有訂好交通跟住宿就覺得差不多了。出發之前有看到四月是阿里山的螢火蟲季，也會有相關的行程，但當下覺得之後再說好了沒有特別研究。終於抵達阿里山的當天下午，在等飯店接駁車時，剛好遇到有人來問對我們賞螢行程是否有興趣，聽了一下覺得不錯，而且一人才 350，如果真的被騙就算了（哈）。結果晚上看到了好多好多好多閃閃發亮的螢火蟲，好幸運，幸好有來。當下真的很感謝自己的眼睛，是相機沒辦法好好拍出來的閃爍光芒。

・・・

阿里山真不愧是 2025 年被紐約時報列入的必訪景點之一，走在山林間規劃完整的步道上，看著陽光穿透葉片散落在樹幹、草地、苔蘚、木棧道上的時刻，能感受到內心的平靜和某種對於世界的感激。「啊，可以活在這個當下真好。」一路上也遇到好多外國觀光客，年齡層明顯跟臺灣旅客有一些差異，好有趣。

我們一整天沿著旅遊中心人員介紹的路線走，整趟很輕鬆景色又漂亮，推薦給大家。先從阿里山車站搭到沼平車站，還因為週三遇到限定的檜木車廂，被木頭溫潤的色澤跟香氣包圍，好幸運。先走了水山療癒步道，還在巨木旁邊跟健行的阿伯阿姨們學到了怎麼用全景拍跟很高的巨木的合照（耶），之後再由水山線步道沿廢棄的鐵軌走回車站附近。

再來往姊妹潭的方向走，再走一段就能到受鎮宮，是全台最高的玄天上帝廟。我們抵達的前幾天剛好是玄天上帝的生日，外面放滿了祝壽的花圈！可惜這次沒遇到傳說中的神蛾，期待之後有機會再訪。再來繼續往巨木群棧道走，好多好多好多巨大的樹木啊，看著解說牌上的樹齡，忍不住想，對他們來說人類都像是小嬰兒吧。

因為天氣多雲跟不想早起（哇哈哈），我們沒有搭日出前的小火車。不過在退房前去走了祝山觀日步道。非常喜歡這條步道，被高聳的樹木環繞，就算陰天也能感受到森林靜謐的美。抵達祝山觀日平台後，因為多雲什麼山都看不到，我們再步行至小笠原觀景台，雲散了一點點，能看到一些山的輪廓。最幸運的是遇到了小動物在我們面前大口吃草，好開心，謝謝阿里山。希望之後能再來走其他的步道。

買好午餐後搭小火車下山，第一次體驗之字形的鐵道，火車開始倒退嚕的時候真的會想說「欸這樣對嗎」然後發現是在轉彎啦！小小的火車一路搖搖晃晃，從海拔 2216 公尺，慢慢開回海拔 30 公尺的嘉義站。我們在山巒跟隧道之間穿梭，一邊看著旁邊「鳴」的牌子，聽著火車的鳴笛聲逐漸下山，回到溫暖許多的市區。

台南和高雄

在台南拜訪了 J 想去的四草隧道跟安平樹屋，兩個景點的外國觀光客也好多，但這兩個點靠大眾交通實在不太方便，因此首次使用了叫車服務。陰天的四草隧道也有某種安靜的美，透過導覽員的介紹看到了好多不同的生物：各種不同的螃蟹、夜鷺、季節限定的蜻蜓、還有水母。可惜只有華語的解說，聽到導覽員對著聽不懂的觀光客一直喊說「右邊的避開樹，右邊、右邊、右邊小心」一邊聲調逐漸上揚的時候，也是有點想笑出來。

在高雄帶 J 體驗了輕軌，經過港邊時，他看著高流的建築時發出了讚嘆。還去參觀了他當年沒去到的高雄總圖，他驚嘆著藏書的豐富，還有圖書館空間的大小。雖然赫爾辛基的 Oodi 圖書館也十分寬闊，但 J 說它更像個什麼都有客廳，或是和朋友見面的場所，不像是單純的圖書館。

澎湖的海

澎湖應該是本趟旅行中外國觀光客最少的地點了，真希望有越來越多人知道澎湖之美！再次帶朋友遊澎湖，對於路線跟時間的掌握度好像又變得更好一些了。如果不去離島且想慢慢逛各個景點的話，住三個晚上（有三個完整的整天）應該是最好的。覺得四月底算是蠻適合去澎湖旅遊的時節；沒有到超級熱，但陽光的角度讓天空比四月初更藍，因此海也看起來很藍，非常美麗。

這次除了原本知道的景點之外，也拜訪了幾個自己沒去過的點，有新的探索真好。這次看了兩個石滬：離自己很近的山水石滬、還有虎目石滬。山水石滬在早上去的時候剛好遇到漲潮，石滬還藏在水底下。傍晚去看的時候就露出來了，夕陽的光線、海水的藍、加上石頭的深色，啊，真是美好。

虎目石滬在西嶼，可以在吃完清心飲食店的炸蝦之後去走走。不像七美的石滬是雙心，這邊是單心，也值得一訪。旁邊有個小山丘，爬上去後能看到有點斜斜的遠景；也可以走到石滬上，記得注意腳下石頭濕滑，也記得腳抬高避免貝殼割傷。走近能看到清澈水裡的好多珊瑚，邊看邊覺得，能看到這些真好、他們活得很好真好。

久違地在抵達奎壁山的時候剛好遇到退潮，遊客們一起看著海水慢慢退去、路線逐漸浮現。跟 J 一起走到對面，在沿路的小水坑中看到好多寄居蟹，超級可愛。這次也終於買到每次經過都已售完的阿志冬瓜糕，訂了後天去拿，因為老闆說隔天要處理冬瓜。從大大的冬瓜們做出來的小小糕點！是簡單但令人回味的美味。

如果想問任何關於澎湖景點的推薦都歡迎回信或來訊！

台北與九份

回到台北後，帶著 J 拜訪了好幾間自己愛的書店，看著朋友買進許多自己也很喜歡的書，真是快樂。還有推薦了自己喜歡的臺灣飾品品牌給他，美麗的戒指跟項鍊一起跟他飛回芬蘭生活了耶，想想覺得好有趣。其中一天一起去了九份，一早加上大雨，人潮少好多，其實蠻不錯的（但景色就一片霧濛濛）。九份茶坊的環境讓人感覺平靜，也有許多外國觀光客絡繹不絕地拜訪。

這次用著觀光客的眼看臺灣，發現了好多以前沒認真注意的臺灣紀念品，很多都好可愛，也很常有「哇賽竟然有人想到要做這個」的心情哈。同時也會觀察景點或展覽的英文介紹有沒有好好寫，是不是被忽略、店家有沒有英文菜單，會寫在一起或是另外出一份。加上朋友吃方便素，因此認識了原本熟悉場域中的素食店家，也會更注意店家對於素食者的友善度如何。

相比於當初的我，七年後能夠驕傲地推薦更多臺灣在地品牌了，我對於這項改變感到自豪。這是一趟發現「哇我真能幹」，並用了不同的視野重新認識這片土地的旅行。

相聚的時間珍貴且難得，過程充滿幸運。十分感謝。

期待下次芬蘭相見。

moments in april

• 新嘗試：去給朋友的髮型師剪頭髮，久違地剪了比較短的髮型（大概到肩膀），至今都非常喜歡，他的魔法手創造了將我細軟髮的髮根變得蓬鬆的層次，感激！

• 四月的健行日和朋友們一起去了桃園石門山步道，再走了樟之細路的小粗坑古道（還有蓋了很漂亮的章）。好多路段都是荒野探險的感覺，好難想像以前大家怎麼運送貨物的啊。

  

• 四月中和媽媽一起去走了兩天白沙屯進香，寫在這裡：
  

• 看了《異國日記》的動畫之後，手刀購入了全冊電子書。目前進度在第七集，因為太喜歡了有點捨不得看完。是每集（或每章）看完後馬上再重看一次的那種喜歡。

  

四月是包含很多啟程跟移動的月份，覺得在這些時光獲得很多能量。

謝謝、謝謝。

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travel around taiwan

To conclude my April: Taiwan is sooooooo beautiful.

visit taiwan again after 10 years / meeting my friend after 7 years

This trip still feels unreal to me.

During my fifth year of college, I went to Helsinki, Finland, as an exchange student. I met my only Finnish friend, J, through a language exchange. It was quite hard to make friends in classes since people just disappeared right after the bell rang. She came here as an exchange student at National Chengchi University, has been learning Mandarin, and understands the situation between Taiwan and China. We had fun chatting, and she was one of my comfort zones to talk about news related to Taiwan.

It was the time when people voted against same-sex marriage, the year when Han Kuo You was voted the mayor of Kaohsiung, and the year of the Anti-Extradition Law Amendment Bill Movement in Hong Kong. Some classmates would ask me, “heard that people in Taiwan are against LGBT people?” I would try to explain the complicated situation back home, but I felt ashamed at the same time, wondering why people had to be against each other.

・・・

We have been keeping in touch, and sent some books to each other a few years ago. I sent her some Mandarin books I love, including “Seasons of Bloom” by Yang Shuang-Zi. After hearing a speech at a book exhibition, I asked the author to sign and write my friend’s Mandarin name. Now she has the signature of the winner of the International Booker Prize! I also sent her some nice stationery and notebooks, which are hard to get in Europe. I cannot believe she said the 0.38 uniball pen is the best in the world, since they are normal ones for students in Taiwan. I guess we are spoiled with nice stationery by living in Asia, yay.

In WhatsApp chats, we have been talking about meeting again. She said she misses Taiwan, and I said I miss Helsinki, miss talking to her in person, and miss her cute, fluffy dog. We have been chatting, and until last year, she said she might be able to come this year, and had started looking for plane tickets! After the dates were set, we started to discuss the places she wanted to visit. At the end, the locations are Alishan, Tainan, and Penghu (she’s interested after seeing me back home).

・・・

The accommodation and transportation in Alishan are the parts that brought me the most anxiety. We did not plan to drive to the mountain, so we had to book a stay in the Recreation Area. Even though we booked it two months ago, we still had to book a room for four, since there were no rooms for two by then.

Another challenge was the train going up to the mountain. There are only two up trains a day, and only one of them heads to Alishan station. The official website started selling the tickets two weeks ago at 6 a.m. On the day, I woke up early, felt ready and nervous, clicked the button at six, and the tickets were already sold out. It was devastating. With the sadness, I tried to search for other ways, and I found a Facebook group related to the railway trips. Some posts say you can book the Alishan train tickets two months in advance at the ForestPass site.

I booked the down train tickets at the ForestPass site, and we decided to book the previous train at 9 a.m. to get to Fenqihu first, and transfer the bus to Alishan at 12:50 pm.

If you do not insist on taking the train, some buses head straight to Alishan, and you can reserve the seats in advance as well. I also saw some touring buses with bilingual guides on Fridays and the weekends.

Another twist and turn is finding out there is only one flight from Tainan to Penghu, and it was fully booked. We decided to fly from Kaoshiung, and J can see the evolution of the city after ten years.

・・・

I was so excited and nervous at the same time when picking her up at the airport that I jumped a bit at the arrival lobby haha. I screamed when I saw her. Ahhhhh! So unreallllllllll!

chiayi and alishan

On the last day of my previous job, we took the HSR to Chiayi in the afternoon. On the train, I saw lots of tung blossoms in the mountains. So beautiful. We were planning to go to the Southern Branch of the National Palace Museum, but it was closed on Monday. We changed our plan and visited the Museum of the Old Taiwan Tiles, where J likes a lot!

The Alishan Forest Railway and the Taiwan Railway are two different companies. If you book Alishan train tickets online, make sure to get the paper ticket from their desk (open 8-17). If you book from the ForestPass site, show your QR code to get in.

・・・

As a chill traveler, a trip is ready after the accommodation and transportation are set. I did see some news about the firefly season in Alishan, but I did not do much research about it. While we were waiting for the shuttle bus from our hotel after arrival, a man came and introduced a short trip tonight to see the fireflies. It was only 350 NTD per person, so I was like, “If it was really a scam, then let it be,” and we said we would like to join. It turned out spectacular. Fireflies were shining brightly. I am grateful for my eyes; I could not capture it with my camera.

・・・

After the trip, I totally understand why Alishan was included in the 25 destinations recommended by the New York Times. When hiking on the well-organized trails, seeing sunlight passing through the leaves, lighting up the grass, the moss, and the path, I feel peace and gratitude. “It is so nice to live and see this.” During the trip, there were also many foreign tourists, and their average age was much younger than that of local tourists—quite an interesting discovery.

・・・

We hiked through the way recommended by the tourist center, and it was an easy journey with breathtaking views. We took the Wednesday-only wooden car train from Alishan to Zhaoping station, and started from the Shuishan Healing Trail. We learned how to take a picture of the giant tree with pano mode on the iPhone from some aunts and uncles. What a fruitful lesson! And we walked our way back to Zhaoping station through the Shuishan Trail.

Next, we hiked towards the Sister Ponds and the Shouzen Temple, the highest Xuantian Shandi temple in Taiwan. There are some stores and stands around the temple, so you can have lunch and take a rest here. After lunch, we hiked the Giant Tree Plank Trail. Seeing those giant trees, I wondered if we humans are like babies to them.

Due to the cloudy weather and not wanting to wake up too early, we did not take the train to watch the sunrise. Instead, we hiked the Zhushan Footpath and the Dueaoyue Trail to the Zhushan viewing lot. It was a wonderful hike in the forest, even on cloudy days. We could not see any mountains on the viewing lot because of the weather, but we saw some animals around the Mt. Ogasawara viewing lot. Lucky us.

We bought our lunch at the convenience store and got on our train heading down to Chiayi. This is the first time for me to experience the Z-shape switchbacks. I was like “Is this right?” when the train moved backwards, and found out it was how the train turns! The train slowly moved and shook from an altitude of 2,216 meters back to an altitude of 30. We passed through mountains and tunnels, and we heard the whistle of the train. We arrived back at Chiayi.

tainan and kaohsiung

In Tainan, we went to Sicao Green Tunnel and Anping Tree House, where J wanted to visit. There were lots of foreign tourists at both sites, but neither is convenient with public transportation. That’s why we got an Uber to get there. Sicao Green Tunnel looked beautiful and peaceful even on cloudy days. We got to see lots of creatures around, but it was a pity that there were only Mandarin introductions. Make sure to be careful about the trees around the height of your head during the boat trip.

In Kaohsiung, I took J to take the Light Rail, and she praised the building of the Kaohsiung Music Center when we passed by the port. Later, we visited the Main Library, where J was surprised by how big it is and how many books it contains! Though Oodi Library in Helsinki is a huge building as well, J said it is more like a living room, or somewhere you hang out with friends, not only a library.

penghu and the ocean

Penghu is the destination with the fewest foreign tourists during this trip, and I do hope it gets more popular worldwide in the future. It is breathtakingly beautiful! I became better as a guide in Penghu each time. If you would like to experience Penghu slowly, I recommend staying at least three nights, with three full days to look around. I think the end of April is quite a nice time to visit, since the weather is not as hot as in summer, but the sky and the ocean are blue enough to make for wonderful pictures. I visited some new spots this time, and I love these discoveries! The Shanshui Stone Weir and Hu-mu Stone Weir are both very beautiful.

If you would like to ask about any recommendations of spots in Penghu, feel free to reply the mail or message me.

taipei and jiufen

I took J to visit some bookstores I like in Taipei, and I felt really happy seeing her buy books I love a lot! I also recommended some jewelry brands to her, and she brought some shining rings and necklaces back to Finland with her! We went to Jiufen one day, and the heavy rain and the earliness in the morning made the street less crowded. The tea house made us feel peaceful as well.

Seeing my home country with tourists’ eyes, I found out lots of souvenirs I had not paid any attention to before. Most of them are quite cute, and some of them make me think, “Wow, how come someone has this idea?” Also, I tried to see if there are English descriptions in exhibitions or signs. J is a vegetarian, so I discovered more restaurants this time as well, and noticed if this place is friendly to vegetarians or not.

Compared with myself back then, now I can proudly recommend more Taiwanese brands. I am happy with that. This is a trip of finding out “I’m so good at handling things,” and a trip of viewing my homeland with different perspectives. The chance of meeting again is precious, and we were blessed by lots of luck as well. Truly grateful for everything.

Hope to see you again in Finland.

moments in april

• New thing: Changed to a new hairstylist (recommended by my friend), and got a shorter haircut. I love it so much! She used her magic to make my soft hair look nice. Appreciated.

• Hiking Day in April: We hiked the Shihmen Mountain Trail, and then hiked the Xiaocukeng Ancient Trail included in the Raknus Selu Trail system (and got some nice stamps). It was like walking in the wild on many of the trails, and I tried to imagine how people commuted through those ways.

  

• My mom and I went to The Pilgrimage Route with Mazu in mid April, the record is here:

• Stories I love: After watching the anime of Journal with Witch, I love it so much that I bought the comics right away on my e-reader. I like it too much that I cannot bear to finish it. I always read the chapter or the episode again after reading it for the first time. That is how much I love this story.

April was full of setting off and moving. I have gained so much energy.

Thank you.

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四月做了好多事，決定拆開來寫。

English version below.

四月中和媽媽一起去走了兩天白沙屯媽祖進香，人生第一次。

去年在社群上看到各種直播分享後，也下載了「白沙屯 GPS」一起在線上看媽祖要怎麼走。回程時一邊看著頭旗車離媽祖越來越遠，一邊看著媽祖前往名間鄉，帶著大家走過茶園（也請一起關注南投縣計畫要於名間鄉蓋焚化爐的事件，一同守護臺灣茶跟手搖）。看著看著覺得應該來走一回。想著要為自己立下的承諾負責，因此今年和媽媽一同前行！

台中到彰化

出發之前研究了一陣往年的歷史路徑，嘗試從類似的去程天數推估大概可能接上的範圍跟晚上住宿的區域（不過媽祖還是走得快好多啊）。當天先搭高鐵抵達台中，看了一下 GPS 後，轉火車到追分車站。從高鐵到台鐵的車廂及月台上，都能看到各式各樣準備一同前往進香的人們。偶爾在不確定往哪裡走的時候，跟著其他人就對了。

排了好長的隊伍出站，以前追分車站對我來說都只是「追分成功」紀念品上的一個車站名稱，沒有想到成為了此次進香的起點。

跟媽祖稟報上馬後開始走。很幸運，才走沒多久就遇到手沖咖啡的攤位。去年看著社群上的影片，攤位人員拿著巨大的水柱沖咖啡，還有無比順暢的動線跟器具。我拿著保溫瓶，沿著環保杯的隊伍裝了冰咖啡，到傍晚都還是差不多的溫度，很消暑，十分感謝。

跟著人群走，可以看見各式各樣的風景，許多人的包包上有五顏六色的結緣品，像是每年每年跟著走下來的歷史。有人揹著自家的神明一同前行，好多人製作了標語，除了白沙屯媽祖的「莫忘初心」、「善緣必應」，也有提醒香燈腳們的「垃圾不落地」、「自備環保餐具」、「只拿需要的」、「靠右走」等。也有人將自己為何而來、或是為了身邊的誰而前來寫下放在背包後方。

一邊走，一邊看見好多自己日常之外的、這個島的其他樣貌。

在從台中上橋前往彰化之前，看到 uBike 的牌子提醒大家接下來沒有站點喔！如果騎車進香的人要記得歸還，不然就要騎到嘉義啦！看到的時候真是笑出來（標題還不忘諧音梗ＸＤ）。

走到橋上的時候我們都還沒遇到鑾轎，不是剛好走在後面就是因為停駕休息先超車了。在橋上跟著人群往前，一邊想說哇沒想到以這樣的方式前往彰化的時候，聽到後面陸續有人喊聲說「靠右！靠右！」，再過了一陣子開始能聽到遠遠的鑼聲了。靠著右邊往前走，透過鑼聲的大小，知道鑾轎離我們越來越近了。

原本拿出了手機想錄影，結果媽祖們靠近自己的時候一陣手忙腳亂沒按到。並行的當下感受到心口震動、整個胸腔都麻麻的，好想好想哭啊。這就是大家說的那種不自覺想落淚的心情吧，充滿感動跟感激，像是被媽祖們招呼照顧的感覺。如同說著「孩子啊初次見面，你好啊」那樣的溫暖包圍著自己。

鸞轎一下子就看不到蹤跡了，真的走好快。媽祖們經過之後，我和媽媽對視，兩個人都說著好感動好想哭。那個能量真的，好不可思議啊。

一路上一直不斷有許多自發性的補給站（除了橋上），不論是水、食物、水果（看到現切西瓜流水線真的大吃一驚）、貼布、醫療站、按摩站、充電站、拉筋站、冰水泡毛巾站、甚至還有拍照列印的攤位。看到大家的熱情，偶爾也會怕自己都不拿是不是很不領情，但又想想食物跟水實在是不需要那麼多，身上還有就夠了。不然烈日之下步行，拿著過多的物資最後只會變成負擔。

傍晚五點多，我們走到彰化南瑤宮，這裡也是媽祖先前停駕的點。進去參訪上廁所吃吃東西休息後，決定和娘娘們報下馬，回附近訂好的住宿。媽祖還是馬不停蹄地繼續前行中，而我們打算好好吃飯休息，隔天再繼續。進香的路程上，還是要以自己身體的狀況為第一優先，相信神明們都會了解的，不要太勉強了啊。

彰化到雲林

第二天早上根據伴侶的推薦吃了彰化有名的素食麵，看得出來是市場的老店，也有好多熟客前來。我們離去時老闆娘親切地指著火車站的方向，跟我們說著「有緣再來喔」。啊，這就是媽祖替我們帶來的，意想不到的緣分跟際遇吧。

搭上火車的時候媽祖們已經走到離我們且離火車站都有些距離的地方了（畢竟五點就起駕了），我們跟著大家一起搭到「永靖」下車。腦袋裡浮現了陳思宏《鬼地方》裡的各種場景，沒想到是因為媽祖的關係來到了這裡。是個小小的車站，沒有櫃檯跟閘門，就只有雙邊的月台；刷卡的地方甚至是在月台中間，差點沒發現。出站後走一走遇到一個鄉里的阿媽，跟前面的香燈腳說媽祖已經距離我們十公里了（啊，真的走好快）。

走了好一段之後還是離太遠了，媽媽看著前面搭不上的「累了請上車」說啊好可惜，我說等等應該還會有啦。後來成功搭上一台貨車追趕了好一些進度，可能距離從三個小時變成一兩個小時（笑）。貨車一家人從基隆南下，在後面拿著無線電對講機的弟弟小四，他們說已經是第三年來進香載人了，一家三口一起幫助了好多好多香燈腳。十分感謝。

第二天沿著產業道路一直一直走，經過了田尾、北斗、溪州，看著路標上西螺大橋旁的公里數逐漸減少。抵達西螺大橋時發現因為整修已關閉，後來改由溪州大橋跨越濁水溪前往雲林。此時的大家距離媽祖應該有一個半小時到兩個小時，上橋的人潮還是滿滿地填滿了交流道。濁水溪真的好寬好寬啊，一邊走真的覺得好熱又好遠，像是永無止盡一般⋯⋯。一邊走也一邊不停地跟自己對話，跟自己說這就是一場修行，好好往前邁步、好好呼吸、把姿勢做好、注意發力的位置，也一邊注意媽媽的狀況。

終於抵達下橋，又步行了好一段距離後（西螺好多醬油店！），終於抵達西螺福興宮附近。那時候已經快要兩點了，媽祖準備起駕（看我們落後多久哈）。我們拿了路上發的素食便當、煎餃跟素粽，決定先吃個午餐，等等看能不能遇到鑾駕起駕。小小的路口擠滿了人，聽著鑼聲、看著轎斑前進、等著媽祖們決定下一站往哪個方向。我在心裡跟媽祖們道謝，謝謝帶著我們去到了這麼多地方，謝謝保佑我們一路平安，說著我們晚點應該就會啟程回家了，我會帶著這兩天獲得的一切繼續好好生活。每一次在看得見鸞轎的範圍跟娘娘們說話，都還是會很想哭。

和媽祖們稟報下馬之後，查到有客運可以到雲林高鐵站，我們前往西螺轉運站。一進到客運站，小小的空間擠滿了人。在大家毫無頭緒、擠在櫃檯詢問、一邊排著不知道到底是什麼的隊的時候，有個熱情的香燈腳開始大喊「北港！有沒有要往北港的！」開始以目的地幫所有人逐漸整隊。雖然後來他一直說自己是社恐，但他的熱心讓原本如無頭蒼蠅般的香燈腳們，有了排隊的方向。再次在這裡感謝他，謝謝遇到這樣的善緣。

・・・

搭上高鐵後一下子就回到家了，吃著晚餐的時候還是覺得渡過了十分不可思議的兩天。沒想到前一天的我們早上才剛要前往台中，一下子徒步（加火車）跨過了三個城市。一路上與這麼多人同行，跟自己密集地相處，還接收到如此多的善意與熱情。

走了這樣的兩天，可以理解為何大家一年一年地走著。媽媽說著明年也想再走，可以換走回程看看。不知道以後有沒有機會越走越多天，或是哪年也帶著墊子跟著媽祖到處休息（我可能要再練練）。我想這趟屬於臺灣人的朝聖之路，不只是屬於自己的修行，也看見了各種好的跟壞的，還有屬於這座島的韌性。

一整路上有這麼多的相信跟愛啊。

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walk with Mazu

This is the record of my first Baishatun Mazu Pilgrimage.

After watching all the sharing and livestreams of the pilgrimage last year, I felt like going. To keep my promise with the Goddess. My mom and I spent two days walking with Mazu this year.

Before going, I tried to predict where Mazu would go and booked a stay for us (but she walked faster and further than I expected). There is a GPS app developed by believers showing where she is now, since the route is different every year, solely decided by Mazu at every intersection on the way. The only sure things are the dates and times of the beginning and the end.

We took the HSR to Taichung and transferred to Zuifen Station by train. There were lots of pilgrims on the HSR, the train, and the platforms. Whenever you are not sure about the way, just follow everyone else. After getting off, we started walking. It was lucky that we encountered a coffee stand quite early, and I filled my bottle with iced coffee. It was still quite cool until that evening.

During our walk over the past two days, we saw people from all over the country, walking together, sharing food, giving out drinks and water, providing massages and charging spots, picking up garbage along the way, volunteering to guide the way, and praying for their friends and family members. It felt unreal to receive this much love along the way.

There were moments when we walked around the palanquin, and I felt the numbness in my chest. It seemed like my heart was covered in the energy of the Goddess, and I felt like crying. I finally understand why people say they cannot help but feel like crying during the pilgrimage. And I get why people come back to walk with Mazu year after year. Though it was truly challenging and tiring, I also felt myself become stronger physically and psychologically after those two days.

After two days, we crossed three counties on foot and by train. I reached somewhere I had never been to before. I am truly grateful for everything. My mom suggested we walk again next year. Yeah, let’s do it again.

English version below.

運動加旅行

三月開始在旅行中擺放一些運動的行程，覺得非常讚。

月初跟伴侶一起去了宜蘭，住在冬山的民宿。出發前我們就講好應該可以帶跑鞋在附近跑步，成功抵達 check in 後，換好衣物開始長距離慢跑。沿著河邊一邊慢跑，看著夕陽下山前的顏色，經過綠油油的水田，有的反射出天色雲影。唯一的缺點是傍晚時分成群的蚊子，讓每口呼吸需要更小心，才不會一下子把蚊子吃進嘴裡。從天亮跑到天暗，跑完一小時的心情真是舒暢，還可以一邊開皮克敏種花。剛好跑回民宿沖澡後再去吃晚餐，真是完美的行程！

隔天早上在蘇澳走了七星嶺步道，好多樓梯加上天氣很熱，前面忽略補給一度走到有點昏。越往上越能看見蘇澳港跟山旁的國道，視野遼闊。一路上身邊有無數蝴蝶在身邊飛舞，有小有大，顏色繽紛，覺得非常幸運。下午開去南方澳晃晃，港邊的漁村氛圍讓我想起澎湖，雖然空間感跟人的密度稍微有些不同，但當地居民在港邊移動、聚集聊天的感覺，覺得很熟悉。

在南方澳吃了蔥油派跟蘿蔔糕之後，我們開回宜蘭市區，下一站是去岩館抱石！既然今年的目標是要多抱石，覺得在旅遊中放入這個行程應該也不錯吧（還可以消耗吃進去的熱量哈）。這次去了宜蘭的久淘攀岩館，空間不到非常大，但路線很多，而且平日晚上除了一開始有小朋友的課程之外，只有我們跟另一個岩友而已，十分舒適！挑戰了蠻多路線，結束後再去羅東夜市吃晚餐，結束快樂的一天！

最後離開前去買了莢麵包，招牌品項「可蔥」真是太香了！！！現吃有夠好吃，還外帶了很多其他的品項回家，收穫滿滿，麵包真讚。這次在羅東車站附近的巷光咖啡喝到蒸氣美式也好喜歡，口感清爽綿密，期待再訪的那一天。

另外，這次選擇入住的是在社群上追蹤了一陣子的「小花徑」。只能說在空間內處處都能感受到經營者的用心，一樓客廳的部分簡約溫馨、器具充足，房間、樓梯也充滿讓人覺得「哇這樣好好看」的角落。是一個一走進去就讓人感到放鬆的空間，白天也能因為陽光的照射自然醒來。留下了很棒的回憶，感謝小花徑。

關於世界的書

去年底參加了《旅行在樹梢》的新書分享會，這個月初在圖書館排到了，啊真的是好好看喔，我要把它列為我的第一季最佳之一！！！真是感謝這本書的存在，一邊讀一邊讚嘆「哇賽樹原來是這樣在生存的」「我的天樹好酷好厲害」跟「樹真是太有趣了」然後一邊感謝作者跟出版社，讓我可以一窺樹的世界。跟當初莊瑞琳編輯說的一樣，看完這本書之後，看樹的視角就跟以前不同了。看完這本書後，在生活中、健行的路上看見樹都會想起在書裡讀到的，他們要經歷的各種生存競爭，才能以現在的模樣讓我們看到。

另一本近期最喜歡的是周婉窈老師的《少年臺灣史》。前陣子因為林宅血案翻拍的爭議，重新掀起了臺灣史補課潮，許多書籍也因此上榜。覺得老師這本補足了許多原本只知道一點一點的完整脈絡，雖說書名是「少年」，但其實也非常適合所有成年人讀，淺顯易懂的文字讓讀者能夠輕易跟著老師的講述，更了解這塊土地上發生的事。 知道了更多會覺得許多痛苦的事真的應該被好好咎責啊，願臺灣的轉型正義可以繼續好好地進行，而讓大家擁有對於事件的共同記憶，也是必要的過程跟要素吧。

現場這件事

月底的週末去了人生第一個音樂祭：大港開唱！十分感激有經驗的朋友在日期出來的時候就手刀訂好住宿，在確認買到票後一直抱著「啊從沒去過音樂祭不知道會怎麼樣好期待去體驗看看」的心情。雖然一開始換手環跟周邊實在是花了不少時間在等待，但兩天活動後只能說現場真是無可取代。樂器在現場透過音響傳出來的聲音，跟聽串流的感覺非常不同，再加上場地跟觀眾們享受的氛圍，一直覺得能夠置身於此真是太好了。

就算是同一場表演，進場的時間不同、站的位子不同、跟音樂的回憶不同、懷抱著的心情不同，都塑造成了每一份獨一無二的體驗。這次在現場一些時刻聽一聽眼淚就自己流下來了，明明也沒有想到什麼傷心的事情。我想這就是音樂穿透人的力量展現吧。謝謝大港開唱，謝謝音樂。

山海圳與台南：沒想過會抵達的地方

和戶外之友一起去台南騎了山海圳「內海之路」的第一段（健行筆記任務路線）。山海圳國家綠道是從台江內海到玉山的一條國家級綠道，分成「內海之路」、「大圳之路」、「原鄉之路」跟「聖山之路」。

我們這次用 YouBike 騎了從台江公園管理處到臺灣歷史博物館這段，大概花費兩個多小時。不過因為台江公園的第一個集章點附近沒有 YouBike 租借站，我們是在鄭子寮福安宮附近借到車之後騎到山海圳國家綠道起點，開始沿著路線騎（離起點更近的 YouBike 站可以找大港觀海橋附近）。

在前往起點的路上，沿路水邊都是開滿花的苦楝樹，真的非常美麗。一整路太陽都超大的，這次袖套口罩帽子墨鏡都戴好戴滿。在台江國家公園旁邊，有遇到導覽船載著小朋友們進行戶外教學，他們還跟我們打招呼，好可愛好開心！在一段兩旁都是魚塭的路上，疑似看到有人在撈綠綠的藻類，我還以為他在撈海菜，連忙跟同伴說我要停車看一下。結果阿姨跟我們分享那是朋友養蛤蠣的魚塭，因為太久沒下雨水裡長很多優養化的藻類，他老公在撿蛤蠣，他就在旁邊加減撈一下藻類。阿姨跟我們說這些如果不清理，裡面的蛤蠣久了會缺氧死掉，有些人會在池子裡加養虱目魚當作工作魚，可以加減讓藻類不要那麼猖狂。超有趣的，完全是沒有接觸過的領域。

山海圳的其中一個集章點是「海尾朝皇宮」，也是在路線中需要轉彎的地點，我們剛好在之前停下來補水，不然差點錯過哈。我們到的時候剛好陸續有人要來上吉他課，廟裡面也可以看到許多課程的成果海報，還保有以前學校教室佈置的純樸感。廟裡燈籠色彩鮮艷，「大廟興學」的字樣顯示廟宇不只是信仰中心，也是帶領附近居民一同成長的基地。這條綠道帶我抵達了從沒想過會到的地方，又更認識了臺灣一點，真是超級有趣！騎完很累的當天晚上還在阿財牛肉湯大吃了一頓，心滿意足。

・・・

這次還順便玩了南美館的「全民近現代」集章活動。那天先在祀典大天后宮拜拜，裡面有好多年代超久的匾額，還可以自己蓋章做平安符！之後經過一家冰淇淋店，冰好好吃、座位區又有景可以看。再進去祀典武廟拜拜（也有好多歷史悠久的匾額），最裡面的小池子有好多烏龜在曬太陽。武廟出來之後剛好遇到第一個集章點！後來幾天陸續集章，再到美術館兌換禮物，剛好算早去成為前二十名，還獲得了一張門票，開心！這期在臺南國家美術館籌備處的《微光中的寫生者》很好看，有非常多近代臺灣的作品並串連聲音、影像，讓觀眾更能沈浸於作品之中；臺南市美術館的《恁兜攏按怎拜？》是關於臺灣拜拜的展覽，其中有一區有超級多尊虎爺，好好看喔好喜歡。

這次跟旅伴的表妹吃飯，一起參觀了一下他正在當學徒的繡莊，裡面的各種作品完全呈現了工藝之美啊，有人持續把這項技藝傳下去真是太好了。離開台南前的早上去買了武廟前的碳烤三明治（疑似是我在電視上看到類似《台灣 1001 個故事》的節目介紹之後存下來的哈），看阿姨熟練操作炭火調整火侯，有夠厲害⋯⋯。裡面夾煎蛋（可選奶油、花生或草莓），有種剛剛好的美味，尤其吐司烤到脆脆的恰到好處，還有從沒喝過的冬瓜豆漿組合起來也很ㄅㄧㄤˋ！

這次的旅行有超多意想不到的探索跟發現，覺得自己整趟都很幸運。感謝一同冒險的旅伴，也期待下次再去騎內海之路的後半段！

moments in march

• 這兩個月都陸續有安排抱石的行程，覺得很棒！之後要來看看岩鞋。

• 終於提了離職，對於接下來的探索跟挑戰很期待。一邊也會直面更多自己的恐懼，感受到更多壓力吧。但這些過程都會帶我走向更接近自己、也更清晰的樣子吧。

• 上一支手錶太容易沒電，看了好一陣子終於入手新手錶，十分愉快！期待可以跟它一起去更多地方。

• 讀中醫的朋友說，中醫的方法就是讓你身體這個小宇宙，找到跟外面這個大宇宙和諧共處的方式，覺得好有趣。

每去到一個新的地方、做一個新的嘗試，腦袋裡的地景就又擴增了一些（像是皮克敏的地圖在去過之後會變綠色一樣），我的第一季能這樣結尾我充滿感激。

春天來了呢，希望你也有個美好的春日。

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my world expands

I have done so many things, went to lots of places, and ate nice food in this especially long March, and this post gets longer too ha.

travel and exercise

I’ve tried to add some exercises to my travel plans, and it came out excellent.

On the first days of March, my partner and I went to Yilan together and stayed in a BnB in Dongshan. Before going, we’ve discussed that maybe we could bring our running shoes and go jogging around the area. After checking in, we got changed and started our long-distance jogging. We ran by the riverside, watching the color in the sky before sunset, jogging past greenish paddy fields, some of which reflected the clouds. The only bad thing was the mosquitoes in the evening, which made us breathe more carefully in case of accidentally eating them. While running, I could also plant flowers in the Pikmin Bloom app. The one-hour run really made me feel refreshed. The ending point was our stay, and we got to shower before going out for dinner. Perfect schedule!

The next day, we went hiking on the Qixingling Trail in Su’ao. There are so many stairs, and the weather was kind of hot and humid. In the beginning, I forgot to take some supplements and got a bit dizzy. The view got better while climbing higher with the Su’ao port and the highway in the mountains. Throughout the trail, there were so many butterflies flying around. Some were big, some were small, some were colorful, some were with only one color. We felt lucky to see so many butterflies.

In the afternoon, we drove to Nanfang’ao, a fishing village, and spent some time in a cafe watching people walking and talking on the streets. The landscape in the village made me think of Penghu, though the size and the density of people are different. The scene of locals walking around, sitting somewhere together to chat, and the smell of the ocean, all these made me feel really familiar. It is like home.

After eating 蔥油派 (made with scallions) and 蘿蔔糕 (made with radish), we drove back to Yilan city to visit a bouldering gym! Since one of my goals this year is to boulder more, I thought it would be great to put this in my traveling schedule as well (and also burn some calories I eat along the way haha). We went to JT Climbing this time, not a super spacious one, yet with lots of boulder problems to try. We went there on a weekday evening, and there were only another climber and us, which was very comfortable. We tried to solve many problems and had dinner in Luodong Night Market. A perfect ending of the day.

Before leaving Yilan, we visited Pod Bakery. Their specialty “可蔥” smells sooooooo nice! It tastes best when it is fresh from the oven. I also brought home lots of other breads for my breakfast in the upcoming days. I love bread. Talking about eating, we found the To Light Coffee Roaster around Luodong station wonderful as well. The steamy americano I had was foamy and refreshing. I cannot wait to visit again.

Last but not least, we stayed in the “Minami House” in Dongshan, which I have been following on their Instagram for a while. You could find so many details in every corner of the space. The living room makes you relax from the moment you walk into the space, with a large dining table and equipment to make coffee, heat breakfast. There is also a little reading space in the public area, which makes you feel safe and peaceful. In the morning, you can wake up with sunlight. Thanks to “Minami House” for the nice memory.

books of the world

I went to 旅行在樹梢 book sharing last year, and I borrowed it from the library this month after queuing. I want to say that THE BOOK IS SO NICE I LOVE IT SO MUCH! I rate this book as one of the best in the first quarter of 2026. I am thankful that this book exists. I am like, “Wow this is how trees live!” “Oh my god trees are so cool and so amazing!” “Trees are so interesting!” while reading the book. Thanks to the author and the publisher for giving me a glimpse of the tree’s world. Now I can understand why the editor said she had viewed trees on the sidewalk differently after reading this book. I think of what the book says now when spotting trees on the road, in the park, and during the hikes. I imagine all kinds of competition they have to go through to become what they are today.

The other book I love recently is “少年臺灣史”(Taiwanese History for Young People). There were lots of discussions about the “Lin Family Murders”, a tragedy during the authoritarian era of the KMT. Lots of people started to learn more about the real history of Taiwan, and books related to the topic became best sellers as well. This book helped me know more about the whole picture, and it is very easy to read. Readers can understand more about what happened on the island and why we still need to remember lots of stories. There is still much pain remain unsolved on the land, and I hope our transitional justice will continue to be carried out. And I believe having a shared memory is also quite important during the process.

live and present

I participated in my first music festival last weekend. The Megaport Music Festival! I really appreciate my friend who booked the hotels when the dates were released. After getting the tickets, I have been in the mood of “oh I have never been to any music festival I have no idea how it will turn out but I am really excited to experience it.” Though it took a while to queue for exchanging the wristbands and buying the goods, I still think live music is spectacular. The sound from the instruments, the crowds, and the atmosphere are irreplaceable with streaming music. Being present at the venue made me feel blessed.

Even in the same venue, people come in various times, stand in different places, have memories individually, with all kinds of moods; all these elements make every experience a unique one. In a few shows, my tears just suddenly dropped out of nowhere. I guess this is the power of music.

Mountains to Sea and Tainan

My outdoor friend and I biked the first part of the “Inner Sea Trail” of the “Mountains to Sea National Greenway.” It is a Greenway from Taijiang National Park Headquarters to Mt. Jade (Yushan) Main Peak Route. There are four sections of the trail: “Inner Sea Trail,” “Canal Trail,” “Tribal Trail,” and “Sacred Mountain Trail.”

We biked from Taijiang National Park Headquarters to the National Museum of Taiwan History. It took us about two hours, but there is no YouBike station around the starting point, so we rented bikes somewhere else to get there first.

On our way to the starting point, there are so many bead trees in full blossom by the riverside. The scene was very beautiful. The sun was very strong along the way, and I got myself in all kinds of sun protection stuff: sleeve covers, sunglasses, a mask, and a hat. We saw elementary kids having filed trip on a boat in the Taijiang National Park, and they even waved at us. So cute. There was a part we rode among the brackish water ponds, and I saw someone dragging seaweed from the water. I told my friend I wanted to take a look. And it came out that she is dragging the algae from the eutrophication. That is a pond for clams, and if the algae keep growing, the clams will die due to a lack of oxygen. Someone will even put fish in the pond, as they can help suppress the growth of the algae. New knowledge and a new world explored.

One of the stamping spots is Haiweiliao Jhaohuang Temple. You have to turn left to get to the place, and we also forgot to turn if we did not stop a bit to drink water. When we got to the temple, people were coming in to take their guitar lessons. There are also lots of posters of various lessons and workshops in the temple, which are very cute. With the words“Large temples as classrooms,” the temple is not only the center of religion, but also the learning center for the village. This trail brought me somewhere I had never thought of visiting, and I got to know a bit more about Taiwan. This whole trip is so interesting! After riding in the sun, we had quite a feast in 阿財牛肉湯. Wonderful ending!

・・・

We collected stamps across Tainan city for the event from the art museum during the trip. On the first day, we walked by the 祀典大天后宮 (Mazu Temple). There were so many plaques from the Qing Dynasty, and you can make your own lucky charm in it as well. After praying, we walked past an ice cream shop: Scoppy Hill! All the flavors are delicious, and you can enjoy the view in the dining area. After enjoying ice cream, we went into the 祀典武廟, which is also a very ancient temple in the area. There is a pond inside the temple with lots of turtles sunbathing. Very cute. When we stepped out of the temple, we found the first stamping point! We collected all the other stamps and exchanged a little gift from the art museum. We went there quite early, one of the top twenty, so we got a ticket to the museum as well! The current exhibition of the National Museum of Modern Art Tainan, The Sketchers at Dawn, is fabulous. There are lots of modern artworks from Taiwan combined with sounds and visuals, encouraging visitors to dive into their beauty. And one of the current exhibitions of TNAM is about praying habits in Taiwan. There are so many statues of Tiger God on the second floor, which are so cute!

We had dinner with my friend’s cousin, and she brought us to visit the embroidery shop where she learns. The artworks there definitely show the beauty of craftsmanship. It is amazing that people still learn and carry this craft through times. Before leaving Tainan, we bought the grilled sandwiches near the temple. How the boss controlled the heat by adjusting the charcoal was spectacular. There are three kinds of flavor: butter, strawberry, and peanut butter. The sandwich tasted just right with the egg inside. The unexpected drink combining white gourd tea with soy milk tastes fabulous as well!

There were so many unexpected discoveries and explorations. I feel lucky during the whole trip. Thanks to my travel buddy, and I look forward to the next part of the Mountains to Sea National Greenway as well!

moments in march

• There were some bouldering practices these two months, and I think it is great! I am going to find climbing shoes as my next step.

• I finally sent my resignation letter this month, looking forward to the exploration and challenges. I am going to interact with my fear and pressure as well. I believe this journey will bring me closer to myself and help me see myself more clearly.

• Since my last watch request me to change the battery very often, I have been thinking about getting a new one for a while. I finally got one these days! So happy about it, and I hope to travel to more places with it.

Each new place and attempt expands the map in my head, such as the map becomes green in Pikmin Bloom app after your visit. I am grateful for the end of my first quarter of 2026.

Spring is coming. Wish you a pleasant spring day.

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English version below.

自己的指甲剪

去年底在旅行中買了一把有收集盒的的指甲剪（大耳狗圖案好可愛！），感受到工具帶來的新世界。以前總是想說都什麼時代了每次剪指甲都還是飛出去好煩，現在它們都會乖乖待在裡面，等我想倒出來的時候才會一起落下，耶嘿。

之前家裡唯一的一把指甲剪在家人房間，我習慣洗完澡指甲軟軟的時候剪。但通常家人都比我早睡，時常因為不想開門進去吵到家人而延後剪的時間。現在獲得自己的指甲剪之後，想剪就可以自己在房間完成。這樣想做一件事能夠沒什麼摩擦力直接進行的感覺，超級舒暢。

・・・

這次年假也有類似的心得。平常在城市裡可以透過大眾交通自由移動，但回鄉後剩下一台車，如果家人有其他的行程，勢必無法單獨行動。發現自己需要也喜歡一整塊屬於自己的、獨立的時間。就算一個人待在自己的房間，還是有可能因為家庭行程被呼叫。這次年假剛好有一天是生日，抓到家人都沒要用車的空檔，自己開去咖啡廳待了一陣子，啊，感覺真好。

擁有獨自行動的能力讓人感覺自由。

journal design matters

從國中開始寫日記，一開始都用那種一週一頁的，寫個幾句把每天的一小格填滿帶給我某種成就感。過一陣子回頭翻日記也有趣，像是把回憶重新拿出來播放一次。後來生活變得更充實，大學開始用一天一頁的也寫得算勤勞，工作後又回歸一週一頁，哈哈哈。

看到朋友推薦後去年買了某個編排精美的手帳，最前面有年度目標、曼陀羅九宮格、每月前面都有漂亮的封面還有每月目標的空間。但是寫了大約一季之後我就開始不太想打開，漏掉之後也提不太起勁補寫。本來想說可能是我本身的狀態、加上有在寫電子報的關係，所以今年又買了同一家的，結果大概一個月不到又覺得不太想寫了。

月初在書展的讀字攤位買了五花鹽的本子。它尺寸比較小，只有整月跟每週一頁的頁面，附上節氣跟臺灣史重要日子說明。換了本子之後心情真的不一樣了，我發現原本那本帶給我某種壓力，尺寸跟編排都是。發現自己不需要那麼多頁數、各種目標跟回顧的編排，只要為每天的生活留下一點紀錄就很棒了。

tryings physically

前陣子回去給營養師看健檢報告，討論到之後想要增肌，他提到說那重訓要持續往上加重量喔。自主訓練這麼久的我一直沒有積極加重量，都想說「啊我現在也是有累隔天也有痠那應該差不多吧」哈哈。近期重訓終於開始挑戰自己看看，發現喔也是還可以承受嘛。前幾天深蹲了目前人生最高重量，真的是幫自己拍拍手！！！我真棒！！！

去年去首爾看完運動攀登比賽之後，期許今年能多去岩館。二月參加了一場女子新手的交流活動，好開心！這次沒有像幾年前第一次第二次去的時候光用手發力，也不會隔天兩手痠的程度差很多。還有發現在某些高度就會覺得好可怕好高我不行了所以往下返回墊子上哈，都是一些新的體驗，真有趣。感覺看了很多比賽可能也對想像怎麼解題有幫助，雖然能不能自己做到又是另外一回事啦，啊哈。

因為伴侶的分享想說趁年假來試試看 zone 2 輕鬆跑，哇完全新世界。沒想過跑步可以邊聊天然後不會到很累，真的好酷！目前試了一次半小時跟四十五分鐘，之後再慢慢加長看看，覺得是很快樂的嘗試。

真是充滿身體新體驗的二月。

social media detox

年假最後的週末嘗試了不開社群軟體，沒想到是下定決心就能夠做到的事，還以為會很有戒斷感。空閒的時間看書看漫畫發呆散步拍照跟人講話，時間跟步調都慢下來很多。發現不看那些也不會怎麼樣，要重新打開之前反而會有點抗拒，想到如潮水般的資訊要湧向自己了，就又想說晚一點再看好了。

但總覺得所處的環境好像也有影響。重新回到城市通勤往返辦公室，會有更多的負面小情緒讓人想藉由手機來逃避（例如漫長的車程和擁擠的人潮）。在揹著電腦拿著便當的時候，身體的疲倦變成煩躁的心情；通勤的人潮中也散發著某種不情願跟倦怠的氛圍，在這樣的磁場之下真的很容易會想拿起手機獲取短暫的多巴胺快樂吧。

moments in february

• 二月初看了《無聊與閒暇》，是對於空閒時間的各種哲學討論，十分有趣！

充分發揮自己的身體/心理能力能夠帶來強烈的充實感，這一點是不難想像的。而定居式生活限縮了這些發揮能力的環境與狀況。每天、每年都持續著同樣的事情，眼前是一成不變的風景。如此一來，在曾經的遊牧生活中可以充分發揮的人類能力便無用武之地了。明明應該還能夠成就更多的事情，但卻無事可做，無法充分發揮自己的能力。這完全符合無聊的定義。

此種要消除無聊的必要需求，對於人類而言成為恆常的課題。

• 二月還看了《理想生活的起點》，作者依據個性把人大致分成四種傾向：自律者、質疑者、盡責者、和叛逆者。如果能善用每種傾向的特質，可以更好地跟自己和他人溝通相處。看完之後覺得自己應該是質疑者跟叛逆者哈。本月另一本喜歡的書是《橫道世之介》，寫了一個少年前往東京求學，經歷的各種生活碎片。關於人和人之間建立關係，留下回憶的故事。十分好看。

• 月中去走了硬漢嶺步道，哇階梯好多走到眼神死⋯⋯不過上去之後視野真的好好，可以看到淡水河出海口！停車處附近的櫻花那時剛好滿開，蜜蜂到處採蜜，熱熱鬧鬧。

• 開了性別之眼之後真的很容易發現一些讓人皺眉的細節，最近在看《葬送的芙莉蓮》第一季，整體真的有夠喜歡，但有一些硬要提到女性身體跟性徵的部分，真是有點煩。上週看了一本旅行文學，那位男作者在提到途中遇到的人的時候，很愛寫女性的外貌，也是讓人覺得「這個凝視真的太多了吧！」一度想說要不要在中間棄書。

• 最近喝到一些結合茶跟咖啡的飲品，好驚艷。有夠喜歡！推薦某咖啡的紅玉茶卡布，跟夏野豆行的茶布髒。

• 和伴侶一起去看了《自由花蕊》的展覽，後半段展間展出了一些當時無法即時送達的遺書，以及受難者和家中的書信往來。一開始光是看牆上的大字就快要哭出來了，在準備好心情之後才能仔細看看當時他們留下的字。自由真的是好多人一起努力爭取來的啊，期盼我們能夠繼續好好守護。

  

一些形塑、雕刻自我樣貌的小事。

一下子就要迎接春天了，祝福你有個美好的三月。

buy me a coffee

fragments of becoming

February always seems so short with the Lunar New Year holidays.

my own nail scissors

I bought a new nail scissors with nail catch box during my trip to Japan last October (there are cute cinnamon rolls on it), and I started to feel the convenience of new tools. Before these nail scissors, the scattered nails always got me wondering why this still happened in the 2020+ era. Now they stayed in the catch box and I can throw them together neatly. Little success in life, yay.

The only nail scissors were in my parents’ room. I usually use it after shower when the nails are softened, while they sleep earlier than me. I tended to delay doing it so I would not wake them up. Now I can do it whenever I want to in my own room. It is so pleasant to do one thing without any barriers.

・・・

I had similar feelings during the Taiwanese New Year holiday. I can move to wherever I want with public transportation when I am in the city, but there is only one car at home in Penghu. If there are other schedules in the family, I could not drive it myself. I found out that I love and I need time that belongs to me only. Although there were times that I stayed in my own room, but I might have to leave anytime when someone in the family called. My birthday was during the holidays, and I waited till the night and no one was going to use the car. I drove and stayed in the coffee shop for a while. It was wonderful.

It feels free to be able to move by yourself.

journal design matters

I have been writing daily journal since junior high. Making the little block full with a few sentences of the day makes me feel satisfied, and it is quite delightful to read again after a few years. It is like replaying the memory again in my head. Life became more eventful during college, so I changed the journal type to one day a page. After working, I went back to weekly design, haha.

Last year I bought a beautifully-designed journal as I saw some friend’s recommendation. It included yearly goal, a Mandala Chart, cover in front of each month, and monthly goal between pages. However I started to lose the motivation to write after the first season, and I did not want to make it up after skipping them. I thought it might due to my own tension, or the new habit of writing substack monthly. Therefore, I tried again and bought the journal from the same publisher for this year.

During the Taipei International Book Exhibition 2026, I bought a journal from Bacon Press. It is smaller than my original one, including the calendar and the weekly planning space with some descriptions for important days in Taiwanese history. My mood is totally different after changing the journal book. I found out that the original one brought me some kind of pressure, not only the size but also the design. Actually I do not need that many pages, those goals and retro pages. I only want to leave a little record for my life.

tryings physically

I went back to my nutritionist to take a look at my health check report. I told her that I want to gain more muscle as my yearly goal, and she said that I need to increase the weight during my workout. I have been working out by myself for a while and I barely increase the weight since I always think “Oh I do feel tired and I can feel the sore next day so maybe the weight is quite ok for me now” haha. Recently, I finally started to add more weight in, and I found that I can do it. I did a set of squat with the highest weight in my life a few days ago. I am so proud of myself!

After watching Sports Climbing Championships in Seoul last year, I wished to go bouldering more this year. I participated in an event for female newbies, and it was so nice! I felt really great and I could use my body better amid the climbs, not using only the strength of the hands and arms, or only the right hand anymore. However, I found that I am kind of afraid of the height. I would feel like could not do it anymore at a certain height and went back to the mat haha. It is quite interesting to know the new side of myself. I guess watching lots of games helps me imagine how climbers would do to solve the problems, but actually doing it is another thing.

My partner shared about long distance run with zone 2 heart rate with me, and I thought I could try in the holidays. It was like opening a new world for me! I have never thought running can be like this: not so tiring and I can chat with others at the same time. This is so cool. I have tried this with thirty minutes and forty-five minutes. I will trying running for a longer time in the future. It was such a wonderful try.

This February is full of new physical experiences.

social media detox

I tried not opening social media apps on the last weekend of the new year holidays. I realized it is actually something I am able to do once I made my mind. I thought I might find it difficult not opening any of them. I read books, comics, relaxed, took walks, and talked to people. The pace of life slowed down even more. I found out that it is totally fine not receiving those information, and I found myself a bit unwilling to open again when thinking about the flood of information coming towards me.

I do think the environment matters. After coming back to the city, started to commute again, I can feel more subtle negative emotions in my day to day life, and social media becomes an easy way to escape from them. Carrying a laptop in my backpack, with my lunch box in my hands, the heaviness and the tiredness of the body turn into irritation. I can feel the unwillingness of working in the air of the commute as well. Maybe that’s why people tend to scroll their phone to get just a little bit of happiness.

moments in february

• I read Leisure and Boredom by Kokubun Kouichirou this month. A book with philosophical discussions about leisure times. I had so much fun reading this book. Another book this month is The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. She divided human beings into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. It is a book to know yourself and others better. Last but not least, Yokomichi Yonosuke by Shuichi Yoshida depicts a young man studying college in Tokyo. Those people he met in his life, the memories he made with others, and the impact he left on others.

• I went hiking on the Yinghan Peak, and there are so many stairs… but the view is really nice that the estuary of Tamsui River is so clear! The cherry blossoms were in full bloom around our parking spot. The bees were busy visiting flowers. It was such a lively scene.

• Once I have some knowledge in gender awareness, I can easily find things that make me frown. I have been watching Frieren: Beyond Journey's End season 1 these days. I love it, a lot. While I do feel irritated to see those gazes on female’s body, especially on their secondary sexual characteristics. In another travel literature I have been reading recently, the male author tends to use lots of words to describe the appearance of the female he met during the trip. I could not help but think that “oh this is really too much” and I almost gave up the book halfway.

• I tried a few drinks combining tea and coffee, and they are astonishing! The ruby black tea cappuccino from Mau Coffee, and the DAY DAY Dirty from Summer Savage are two eye-opening choices this month.

• My partner and I visited the Flowers of Freedom exhibition together. It is an exhibition telling how Taiwanese people fought for freedom in the past years. There is an area showing the letters from the victims of the authoritarian regime at that time, and I almost burst out crying at the first place by only reading those huge sentences on the wall. I braced myself a bit before reading their letters with their family, and some of them are their last wills which did not delivered after so many years. Freedom is not free; it is fought for by so many people. We have to protect it together.

  

Fragments of life help me become who I am.

Spring is over the corner. Wish you an enjoyable March.

buy me a coffee

English version below.

books in queue

在本月結束之前把 Sally Rooney 的《Intermezzo》看完了，啊真是好喜歡。看完之後的滿足感持續了好幾個小時。這次書中包含了男主角們的糾結、思考跟脆弱（男性也好好地哭跟悲傷吧），生活裡的各種細節跟動作也都描寫得好細，邊看邊覺得「啊對平常走路也是這樣耶」，腦袋裡思考過程的劇場跟懷疑也都貼切清晰。這本比之前的幾本都還厚，前面的鋪陳跟醞釀就跟真實生活一樣，總要彎彎繞繞才能慢慢把自己看得清楚一點。有時候當下還沒能夠處理好自己，在面對困難的議題或衝突時只能用看似堅固卻充滿破綻的盾牌硬碰硬。在《Intermezzo》之前我最喜歡的 Sally Rooney 是《聊天記錄 Conversations with Friends》。這次讀的過程中明顯覺得用字有些真的難不少哈哈，也有好多好喜歡到想畫線的段落跟敘述方式，感謝閱讀，好快樂。

常常在某一陣子看到很多想看的書，在圖書館預約之後在接近的時間全部一起來。前陣子紙本書加上電子書大概有十五本一起抵達。陸續看完了《在世界盡頭遇到松茸》、《雪與珊瑚》、和《代謝》，《代謝》一書裡講到的概念跟自己減脂完從營養師那邊學到的很像，吃什麼東西真的很重要啊。想像身體是一座工廠，我們要給予足夠的營養他才能好好運作。去年底再次帶著爸媽去做了健檢，自己這次的醣化血色素跟膽固醇都表現得比去年更好了，為努力維持健康的自己感到驕傲。看來減脂畢業之後維持得還不錯，學費沒有白繳耶嘿。

這幾年也一直跟身邊的朋友們推廣健康教（我自己發明的詞哈），喝足夠的水、蔬菜水果要吃夠、注意血糖。覺得當初選擇找營養師減脂真的是個很對的決定：認識食物、找到適合自己生活的飲食方式、知道外食怎麼挑，才能維持得長久，也不容易被其他速成方式迷惑，或是只看熱量數字選擇。身體健康才能有好心情跟體力體驗世界！

hiking in jan.

一月走了兩條步道：風擎步道跟淡蘭北路第一段。

風擎步道選擇從風櫃口上山，因為假日白天公車只有三班。一早去劍潭站等小巴士已經好多人。上山的巴士裡難得遇到了一組芬蘭人，好久沒聽到芬蘭文了。結果他們跟著大家一起下車之後，就開始越野跑了，好厲害。整體來說風擎步道真是太讚了，風景絕佳也不難走，途中還會經過一個日治時期留下來的柳杉林，像個秘境一樣。最後抵達擎天崗前可以看到七星山和竹篙山，被不同的植被覆蓋著，顏色錯落。在草原上野餐吃東西也讓人快樂，只是下山的人潮真是有夠多，站在公車上搖搖晃晃一邊睡睡醒醒才終於抵達平地。

淡蘭北路我們從牡丹方向上山，前面的燦光寮古道被歸類在「荒野探險」，哇真的是這樣哈哈。上山前還覺得哇好像天氣很好，結果東北角被籠罩在雲裡，邊走邊下小雨，有幾段風很大，有許多泥濘或者充滿水的路段。但走到樹梅坪觀景台要往樹梅坪古道的時候，天色打開了，一邊走一邊叫出來，啊啊啊好漂亮。謝謝後來的好天氣。

健行的過程讓原本只是平面的地圖變成腦袋裡立體的樣貌，文字的地名和步道名稱如今有了景色、溫度、濕度和風的強度。很喜歡這樣逐漸認識更多這片土地的過程。

#tbt2016

前陣子社群上開始回顧 2016 年，沒想到是十年前了不敢相信。

那是還時不時會在 Instagram 發佈貼文的時候，在學業跟生活各種伸出的觸角中逐漸認識並形塑自己。
那年和好友們一起去了日月潭，在房間裡大唱 Coco 李玟的歌，騎腳踏車環湖，從充滿霧氣的林間到晴朗的湖面。
那年聽到林宥嘉的〈慢一點〉覺得歌詞寫得太好了：

別急著抵達終點 / 過程才是關鍵 / 是那些瑣碎細節 / 才最值得紀念
慢一點 / 慢一點 / 陪時間 / 燙鞦韆

那年帶著摯友一起回到澎湖晃晃看海看日出，早上在熱到爆汗沒窗戶沒空調的車子裡學開車。
那年去西雅圖拜訪好友，還一起開車到溫哥華旅行。
那年在經過很多起伏之後發現自己其實有個很喜歡的人，而那個人疑似也曾經很喜歡自己，但兩個人的路徑已經逐漸沒有交集，他也慢慢變成我不再熟悉的樣子了。是在練習跟曾經的美好記憶告別的一年，練習釐清跟整理的一年。

從十年後的現在回望，可以明顯看見當年自己所有不夠成熟的樣貌，或是因為根部還不夠穩固、對於自己的不自信轉變成的焦慮，和欽羨社群上光鮮亮麗的樣子，有很多跟自己內心打架的時刻。但依然很感謝那些時光，擁有很多留到現在的珍貴緣分，也不後悔那些當時做得不夠成熟的決定，已經是當時的我能做到最好的樣子了。能夠逐漸長成現在這個很喜歡自己又很健康的女子，我很感激、滿足且快樂。

moments in january

• 今年終於跟上新年驛傳跟箱根驛傳的直播了！自從看完《強風吹拂》之後，前兩年都在社群補上比賽進度，這次終於成功使用 VPN 跟著跑者們一起往前奔跑。好快樂好感動一邊看的時候好緊張超想大聲吶喊。

  

• 為了跟上過年的馬拉松，終於趕在過年前把《後宮甄嬛傳》看完了。哇真不愧是宮廷劇的經典，最愛看留言大家的各種分析了。唉不過看完覺得這個後宮真是太苦了⋯⋯。

  

• 看到刷比一月初的電子報提到結構式日記覺得好有趣！所以也做了一張 excel 來記錄看看，很期待年尾回顧會長怎麼樣。

• 看了公視《我們的島》紀錄馬太鞍上游的樣貌，覺得人類真的好渺小啊。

  

• 身體在習慣好的食物之後，現在對於食物敏感的狀態是：吃一些東西的時候當下很快樂然後過了一下子身體就說「你剛剛做這個決定不是很對喔」然後進行一些下次還是不要這樣的反省哈。

• 在路上時常看到開得很盡興的九重葛，十分美麗。

  

• 前幾週第一次喝到鮮奶油冰滴，哇好好喝！好像提拉米蘇一樣喔，完全是發現新世界的感覺。

• 從小到大世界用各種方式說著「這樣還不夠」（尤其身為一個女性），再引導你做出符合規範的行動、進行更多的花費。近期覺得自己變成能夠好好看清楚這些的人了，不需要擁有那些他們說應該要有的，就已經很好了。

一下子要過年了！希望大家都能擁有美好的假期，休息玩樂都平安開心。

buy me a coffee

look back and go on

The new year just started like this. I still sometimes write the year 2025, and try to make the 5 into 6.

books in queue

In the last week of January, I finished Intermezzo by Sally Rooney. Love it so much. The happiness lasted for a few hours after reading. I felt whole. It includes lots of inner thoughts, confusions, and vulnerabilities of the male protagonists. It's so great to see more and more men crying in all kinds of stories. I love how Sally depicts all kinds of details in daily life as well. In some pages, my head goes like “wow yes that’s how I might think when feeling insecure about myself and the relationships.” Intermezzo is much longer than her previous books, and I do feel like that’s how the length of this story should be. Those pages pave the way for their growth, just like how we evolve to the person we are with ups and downs. Sometimes we are not ready to deal with the difficulties at the very moment, so we try to arm ourselves strong but it’s actually rather fragile. Before Intermezzo, my favorite from Sally Rooney is Conversations with Friends. The wording she uses this time is harder for me, haha. There are so many passages and sentences that I love and highlight. Grateful for reading. I’m so happy.

Oftentimes, I see so many books I want to read, and they all come together after I reserve them in the library system. Recently, I finished The Mushroom at the End of the World, Yuki&Sango, and Metabolical. In Metabolical, I read what I have learned from my nutritionists: what we eat is very important. You can imagine our body as a factory, and it only works well with sufficient nutrition. I brought my parents to a health check again at the end of last year, and I also found my stats improved. I am really proud of myself for keeping healthy diet habits without wasting my money hehe.

I have been promoting “healthy diet” with people around me these years as well: drink enough water, eat vegetables and fruits, and be mindful of the blood sugar. I still think consulting with nutritionists was a perfect decision: learn about food, find the diet that suits you, and understand how to choose food outside to make the habit last. Likewise, I will not be easily fooled by new trends of losing weight quickly or the number of calories. A healthy body enables you to experience the world!

hiking in jan.

There were two hikes this month: Fenggui-Qingtiangang Trail and the First Part of the Tamsui-Kavalan Trails Northern Route

The first hike we started from Funguizui, because there are only three buses a day to go up on the weekends. There were already some queues at Jiantan station at six in the morning. It is rare to meet two Finns taking the bus together with us; it has been so long since I heard Finnish last time. They started trial running after getting off the bus. Amazing. I sincerely love the Fenggui-Qingtiangang Trail. The views are fabulous, and the trail overall is very easy to hike. There is also a Japanese Cedar forest in the middle. Like a secret hideaway. Before reaching Qingtiangang, we saw Mt. Qixing and Mt. Zhugao standing in front of us, covered in different vegetation in greens, yellows, and browns. Content to have a picnic on the grassland. The only tiring part was the crowded bus going down the mountain. Sleeping and waking up while standing on the bus, moving slowly back to the ground.

As for the TamLan Northern Route, we started from the Mudan Station. The first part is Tsanguanliao Ancient Trail, which is labeled as “wilderness adventure.” You can truly feel the “wilderness” in lots of parts of the trail with lots of tree roots and branches, water, and mud. That morning, we thought, “wow the weather is so nice,” and when we headed into the mountain, it started to drizzle. During some parts of the trial, we even faced strong winds and mild rain. Luckily, the clouds slowly cleared when we got to the ShuMeiPing Observation Deck. We screamed happily and walked toward the beautiful view. Feel blessed about the nice weather in the end.

Hiking turns the map on the screen into some vertical memory. Those names of the location and trials now live with the views, the temperature, the moisture, and the feeling of the wind in my head. I love this way of exploring the land.

#tbt2016

There was a trend of reminiscing about 2016 on social media these days. Still can’t believe 2016 was 10 years ago already.

That was a time when I was still posting posts on Instagram. I tried to build who I am from studies and experiences in life.
That was the year my friends and I went to Sun Moon Lake together, sang songs from CoCo Lee loudly in the B&B, cycled around the lake, from the forest in the mist to the breathtaking mirror-like lake.
That was the year I found the song “慢一點“ from Yoga Lin, and I think the lyrics are so well-written.

別急著抵達終點 / 過程才是關鍵 / 是那些瑣碎細節 / 才最值得紀念
慢一點 / 慢一點 / 陪時間 / 燙鞦韆

That was the year I brought my best friend back to Penghu, walked by the sea, and watched the sunrise. Learned how to drive in a soaking hot car without a window and air-con.
That was the year I went to Seattle to visit my friend, and we had a road trip to Vancouver.
That was the year I found I actually really like someone after some emotional roller coasters, and the person might also liked me a lot a while ago. We did not cross paths with each other anymore, and he gradually became someone I no longer knew. That was a year to practice saying goodbye to those adorable memories, a year of figuring out.

Looking back after ten years, I can clearly see those immature moments then, the anxiety from lack of confidence, and the looking up to those beautiful images on social media. My root was not stable back then, and I fought a lot with myself. I am still thankful for those days. I found so many precious friends that last. I do not regret those premature decisions, since they were already the best I could do. I appreciate who I have gradually become now, a female who loves herself a lot with a healthy body and mind. I feel content.

moments in january

• I finally watched the Hakone Ekiden live this year! Ever since I finished Run with the Wind, I caught up on the results on social media over the years. This year, I used a VPN and watched the live broadcast. Happy, moved, nervous, wanted to scream so bad watching it!

  

• I saw Shrubby shared about recording the year with google sheet, which is quite interesting. I created one as well. Look forward to it at the end of this year.

• Watched the episode about Mataian Creek Barrier Lake. Human beings are so small in the natural world.

  

• After my body is used to real food, I do feel my body blaming me after eating something that makes me happy. You just feel a kind of uncomfortable feeling within the mouth and the body, and I will think about whether I should make the same decision in the future.

• There are lots of Bougainvillea blossoms on the streets in the city. They seem to be happy.

  

• I tried cream coffee for the first time this month. Wow, it’s like tiramisu! So cool.

• The world keeps trying to tell us “this is not enough,” especially as a female, since we were children, and encourages us to act according to the norm, to cost more money, and to eat more than we need. I feel like I have become someone who can see through this. I am enough without those criteria. You are good enough as well.

We are going to have our Taiwanese Lunar New Year Holiday soon! Wish everyone happy holidays. Have nice rests, fun outings, lots of happiness, and peaceful minds.

buy me a coffee

English version below.

year-end review

最近回頭看了去年存的「每年問自己的 40 個問題」（繁中版），前面幾個問題是「你今年做了什麼去年沒做過的事嗎？」還有「今年的新年新希望你執行得如何？」

如果要為今年的自己下一個註解的話，我會說成就感（或快樂）的來源變得更多了。就算依然對於人生方向感到困惑，還不知道自己最想要做的事情是什麼、職涯到底該如何。但在生活和行程中的各種小事裡，能夠看見很多美好的部分，也從自己慢慢累積的事物上一點一滴獲得成就感（例如寫 substack）；也從各種嘗試當中逐漸發現自己擅長的部分、還有做了覺得不太有辦法持續下去的項目（哈）。

這陣子發現自己並不需要成為某種偉大敘事裡的主角，或獲得某種普世價值的成功光環，也逐漸不那麼容易受到消費主義影響或迷惑（但還是會想添購戶外裝備哈）；最想要的是在自己能力範圍內持續發揮正面的影響力，能讓誰在某個瞬間感到快樂，或是傳遞某個能讓人變得更好、更健康的生活方式。這些事像是以自己為圓心，讓某個範圍內的世界，變得更好一點點點點。

這個社會是由這麼多人組成的啊，我們也都期待可以在生活各處遇到不錯的人吧。希望自己可以成為那個還不錯的人。

上週終於把《地：關於地球的運動》看完了，也進戲院看了《大濛》。兩部我都非常喜歡，不約而同地說著某個時代中小人物的故事，呈現人們帶著自己信念生活的樣子及選擇。我們每個人都是這個時代中的小小雨滴以及水蒸氣，一起共同成就了這一片風景啊。

今年的自己去了更多沒去過的地方，一邊感受體驗帶來的美好與回饋，也更認知到自己的有限（知識上或身體上），提醒自己要更以開放跟謙虛的心態面對世界。

trees and forests

週末去聽了《旅行在樹梢》的新書分享會，春山出版的莊瑞琳編輯說他看完這本書之後，在路上看到行道樹已經有了不一樣的感覺。還沒看書的我，光是聽完一個多小時的分享，已經對於樹木、森林、以及林業有了全新的視野。

作者藍永翔當天分享了包括樹木為了生存，一年中的週期變化、樹木疾病可能只是真菌堵住氣孔，也有得病到死亡會花三十年的根腐病；還有把林業想像成時間長至三十年、六十年的作物，為了獲得十棵樹可能需要種植幾千棵樹，因為沒有競爭樹木不會長高、也要定期修剪不然樹不會長胖。真是太有趣了，關於樹的生長以及生存。

小藍說，田野給她的人生功課就是「放下」，不能每個點都執著於完美。她能夠控制的，「就只有爬樹本身」，如器材的維護與架設、樹上的移動與安全確保──當然，還有在「採樣過程中坐在高高的枝條上俯瞰風景的片刻」。

偏偏就是這最多五分鐘的片刻，讓小藍堅持下去。她說，不少跑野外的系上學長姐，在完成論文後，由於田野工作的繁瑣與勞心勞力，對於田野，彷彿有著創傷後症候群。小藍說她也有，但是她實在太喜歡爬樹了，「哪怕每棵樹上只有五分鐘能坐下來休息，那種高處的片刻，就足以支撐我繼續。」

接著小藍就準備出國了。當她完成申請文件時，我人在國外攻讀博士學位。她請我幫忙看一下文件。隔著半個地球的距離，我們一句一句討論她的研究構想。我隨口問：「為什麼想出國念博士？」

小藍說：「因為我想爬樹。」

期待開始閱讀的那天。

stopping by places

月初去了南投一趟拜訪以前的同事，在中興新村內的青旅住了一晚，吃到超級好吃的餐廳「稚時」！蕈菇濃湯裡面整碗都是菇，搭配的法棍也好好吃。主菜的烤蔬菜、番茄雞肉捲都很用心細緻。吃完真是心情愉快，心懷感激。老闆說他們是草屯人，之前在瑞芳開店，後來回南投繼續經營。很期待還有機會再訪，吃吃看別的品項。

前同事帶著我開了一趟山路旅行（還有第一次喝鹹豆漿），我們從南投開上玉山塔塔加，再接到阿里山，最後進到嘉義市區。一路上看到逐漸轉紅的葉子、整顆的聖誕紅，感受隨著海拔轉冷的空氣，臺灣的山真的好美啊。這是我第一次看到玉山。

終於拜訪了嘉義，參觀了花磚博物館、嘉義美術館、還有故宮南院！本行吃了很多碗雞肉飯，十分充實。還喝到了覺得人生之最的酪梨布丁牛奶，但後來發現疑似是用味全的牛奶，哭。

來這一趟也覺得自己對島上的好多地方還不了解，不同區域的生活樣貌、日常文化還有資源差距。聽著朋友講著帶家人看醫生的舟車勞頓，會把這樣的狀態留在心裡，時常提醒自己。

・・・

前陣子跟朋友借了《起床後的黃金 1 小時》，裡面收錄了很多人的早晨習慣，覺得蠻有趣的。看到很多人在起床之後會去晨跑，這次也在旅行的時候嘗試這件事。把隔天要穿的衣物都先拿出來，減少執行的摩擦力。起床刷牙洗臉之後，換衣出門跑步。剛好住宿的附近都算有適合跑步的地方，在旅行的早晨運動完、流汗沖澡之後的感覺十分舒爽。

Syakaro Historic Trail

本月有朋友揪團一起去走新竹的霞客羅古道，也因此尋覓並添購了一些戶外裝備。感激朋友收留跟開車，當天走了七個多小時（沒想過會有走這麼久的一天），真是太喜歡了。

白天的雲霧有種秘境感。綠色黃色橘色紅色的葉子錯落、高高的竹林、不同段落味道不同的空氣、陽光穿過葉縫落下的樣子。謝謝好天氣、謝謝山。

回來之後覺得要繼續努力體能訓練，還有各種裝備存在都是有它的道理的啊啊啊！接下來的一年也想繼續走下去。

notes of 2025

• 添購了閱讀器後多看了非常多本書，很快樂！今年度最喜歡：
  小說是《柏青哥 Pachinko》、《少年來了》跟《進烤箱的好日子》、
  散文是《玩物誌》跟《兩個女人住一起》、
  非小說是《始於極限》、《拼教養》跟《反民主》。

• 跟老朋友和新朋友都有更多實體的、電話或視訊的聯繫，喜歡面對面的聊天。

• 有去首爾看 sports climbing 比賽真是太值得了（歡迎參閱九月份電子報），希望明年可以再多去岩館。好的體驗留下的快樂跟回憶真的可以保存很久，也感謝今年看的所有現場表演。

• 買了 iPad，開了寫字帳號。第一次接到手寫字的案子，很神奇也感激。

• 飲食跟運動維持得還不錯，也要繼續固定帶家人健康檢查。

總而言之，是依然有很多困惑或害怕，但更了解自己也更喜歡自己的一年。
謝謝 2025。

謝謝讀到這裡的你，願新的一年也平安健康，生活中有很多令人滿足、快樂的事。

find my own anchor

Still can’t believe 2025 is ending. Do not feel like 2026 is actually coming.

year-end review

I saved a “40 Questions to Ask Yourself Every Year” list last year. I reviewed it recently, the questions include “What did you do this year that you’d never done before?”, and “Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions?”

If I have to conclude myself this year, it would be: Happiness and sense of achievement come from more kinds of ways. Though I am still confused about how my life should be, what kind of things I want to do the most, and what kind of career path I should pursue, I still find lots of beauty in daily life, and see the result as time passes, such as writing Substack. I also started to find out what I am more capable of, and what I think is a bit hard to continue.

Recently, I found that I do not need to be the main character in some stories, nor get the “successful” title in society; I am also not that easy to buy those fantasies about consumerism anymore (though I would still love to buy some gear for outdoor activities, haha.) What I want to do is to bring some positive energy, make someone happy at some moment, or spread a better and healthier way of living. I want to make the world around me just a little better, and that will be enough.

The society is composed of individuals. I believe we all hope to meet someone nice during our everyday life, no matter in the coffee shop, in a shopping center, or in a cram school. Therefore, try to be a nice person then.

Last week, I finished the series Orb: On the Movements of the Earth on Netflix and watched the movie A Foggy Tale in the theater. I love them both. They both tell stories about individuals in some era, about how people live with their beliefs and choices. We are all little elements in this era, and make history together.

I also went to more places I have never been this year. I cherish those new experiences and the feedback I got, and also realize my own limitations: both knowledge-wise and physically-wise. Those experiences remind me to be more humble and open to experiencing the world.

trees and forests

I participated in a new book-sharing event of 旅行在樹梢. The editor Chuang said she had started to view street trees in a whole new way after reading the book. I haven’t read the book yet, but I have also gained a whole new point of view regarding trees, forests, and forestry.

I learned about the life cycle of trees, diseases that make trees die because of some fungi blocking their stomata, or invading their roots. And I learned to view forestry as a kind of crop with a thirty-year or sixty-year cycle. To get the final ten trees, they might need to plant thousands of trees at first, since trees do not grow tall without competition, and tree pruning is a must in order to make the trees grow wider. All this knowledge about trees is so interesting!

Can’t wait to read the book.

stopping by places

I visited my ex-colleague in Nantou at the beginning of December, stayed a night in the hostel in Zhongxing New Village, and found a fabulous restaurant called “稚時.” The soup was full of mushrooms with amazing slices of baguette, and the main dish was a perfect combination of well-grilled vegetables and chicken rolls with tomato sauce. I felt blessed after the meal. The owner said they are from Caotun (another township in Nantou), and they decided to bring the restaurant back after their first one in Ruifang (in the Northern part of Taiwan). I cannot wait for the next visit to try different food.

My friend brought me on a mountain road trip (plus my first try of 鹹豆漿 salty soy milk). We drove from Nantou to Jade Mountain to Ali Mountain and finally arrived in Chiayi City. On the way, we saw leaves turning yellow, orange, and red, red poinsettia trees, and felt the air getting chillier when we drove higher. The mountains in Taiwan are so beautiful, and this is the first time for me to see Jade Mountain as well!

This was my first visit to Chiayi City, and we went to a few museums: The Museum of Old Taiwan Tiles, Chiayi Art Museum, and the Southern Branch of the National Palace Museum. Also, we ate lots of bowls of chicken rice there as well. I also found one of the best avocado pudding milk this time, happy!

During this trip, I realized that I still know so little about this island, regarding different areas, different ways of life, different kinds of culture, and the gap in resources. My friend shared the long commute about taking her family to the hospital along the way, and I hope to remember this in my heart to remind myself to feel grateful for what I have.

・・・

I borrowed the book My Morning Routine from my friend; it is a book about what people usually do in the morning, and I found it interesting. There are lots of people sharing their morning running routine in the book, and that makes me want to try it as well. They also shared that it will be easier for you to keep the habit if you prepare what you are going to wear the night before. During the trip, I woke up, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and went out running. There were places I could run in the places I stayed, and I did feel refreshed after exercising and sweating.

Syakaro Historic Trail

With the invitation from a friend, I had a hiking trip on the Syakaro Historic Trail in Hsinchu. Before the hike, I also went for a gear hunt to prepare myself for it. Many thanks to our friend for taking care of us. We hiked for seven hours that day; I really did not know there would be a day with this much walking. The whole trip was breathtakingly beautiful.

The fog in the morning made the trail mysterious. There were green, yellow, orange, and red leaves overlapping each other, a tall bamboo forest beside, with different smells along the trail, and the glittering sunlight between the leaves. Thanks to the nice weather and the beauty of the mountains.

After the hike, I found that I need to keep working out to strengthen my body, and all the outdoor gear exists for a reason. I hope to keep hiking next year as well!

notes of 2025

• The new e-reader really encouraged me to read more this year. I am really happy about it! My favorites this year —
  Fiction: Pachinko, Human Acts, and A Perfect Day for Heading to Oven (tentative translation).
  Essays: 玩物誌 and 兩個女人住一起.
  Non-Fiction: Letters Between Chizuko Ueno and Ryomi Suzuk, 拼教養, and Against Democracy

• I had more in-person and FaceTime contact with old friends and new friends. Talking physically is still the best.

• I am really glad that I made it the the sports climbing competition this year in Seoul (ref newsletter in Sep.), and I hope to go climbing more often next year. Nice experiences are like ripples, bringing you happiness afterwards. I love all the live performances as well.

• Bought a new iPad and opened an account for handwriting. I feel blessed to get the first request to write for someone. It is so cool.

• I kind of keep the habit of exercising and a healthy diet, and would like to keep bringing family members to health check-ups regularly.

To conclude, I still have lots of confusion and fear, but I know myself better, and I like myself more this year. Thanks a lot, 2025.

Thank you for reading along. Wish you safe and sound and health in 2026 with lots of happiness and content in your daily life.

English version below.

voice from the body

某一天在洗澡的時候，突然有種「啊好像有力氣可以開始跑步了」的聲音從腦袋裡飄出來。先從在家裡每天早上做三個拜日式開始，身體慢慢重新啟動。再來去健身房買了票，從跑步機上開始邁步向前。流汗的感覺還是蠻好的，每次跑完都覺得自己完成了一件很讚的事。

再來把衣櫃換了季、淘汰好久沒穿的褲子風衣和帽子、把積了很久的信寫完寄出、一步步處理手邊的事項。每做完一件小事都會覺得自己很棒，好像也能夠從中獲得一些力量。沒有太有幹勁的時候，從微小的事物慢慢啟動就很足夠了。

・・・

這陣子也持續在思考人生以及生活的模式，關於人生到底是什麼、還想體驗看看怎麼樣的生活模式、或是人到底需要什麼的各種自我問答。今年逐漸發現其實人不需要這麼多東西（也常常吃太多東西），也有因此減少一些衝動的花費，把資源放在一些體驗跟相聚的時光上，獲得的回饋感跟滿足感似乎也更好了。

・・・

斷斷續續在看耶魯大學放在 Coursera 上面的課《The Science of Well-Being》，關於什麼才讓人感到快樂。我們一般認為的好成績、好工作、金錢、好看的外表、想要的東西，科學研究發現它們並不會讓人的快樂程度有巨大的改變。覺得十分有趣，目前大概看了三分之一，是免費的線上資源。教授是英文授課，有蠻多國語言的字幕，不過沒有繁體中文字幕，目前只有簡體中文。

還是覺得健康跟平靜的身心狀態是最重要的事了，其他或許都是其次。

Aino, Elissa, and Alvar Aalto

好友分享了忠泰要播映紀錄片《Aalto：北歐建築情詩》的消息。月初看完紀錄片後隔天前往美術館參觀展覽。以前在芬蘭交換的時候，其實也不知道原來 Alvar 前後兩位伴侶對於事務所以及 artek 家具公司的巨大貢獻。很喜歡紀錄片中以他們的書信內容貫穿，讓觀眾能夠看見他們扮演的重要角色。

那時候下課後常常走進 artek 逛一圈，光是看看各種印刷品、筆袋之類的東西也覺得真好看，每次都想著要不要買一張經典椅子的海報回家。在紀錄片中久違地聽到芬蘭文，真是個不好學的語言啊啊。回家之後又重新打開 duolingo 的單元了。

忠泰美術館展區規劃細緻，充滿熟悉的木頭素材，也有幾張經典的椅子可以試坐。展期剩下兩個月了，有興趣的人可以去走走逛逛。

books in november

本月看了幾本喜歡的書，令人快樂。看書真讓人快樂。

• 年初看到黃麗群在公視「用閱讀跨年」推薦了潘家欣的《玩物誌》，於是加進書單，終於在年尾從圖書館排到了。潘家欣在書裡寫水果、玉鐲、香水、大學美術系跟滷味、寫書法與器具、學圍棋跟人生狀態的呼應、還有女性在自我跟其他角色的掙扎。真的好好看的一本散文，值得買一本收藏。

  我們常常用「無話不說」來肯定人與人的關係，但我始終認為也有一種關係的品質其實是有話不談。

  所以你們中間這杯茶裡有什麼呢？我不說是理解，因為理解帶著某種剛硬的介入感；我也不說是體會，因為有些事其實必須對自己也對別人承認，對，我註定無法對你的經驗感同身受。我會說，你們中間，有一種懂。

  《玩物誌》很有這種「懂」，一句普普通通的話，放在那個敘事脈絡，都會產生審美的曲折，但是這個曲折又不是挑剔，而是一個人被時間與技藝持續往下磨，有機會磨出來的某種幽默的通透。

  在讀完書之後再重看一次這篇黃麗群的介紹，覺得能夠理解他所形容的這些了。

• 還有排到了熱門的《神經可塑性》，覺得是能讓人更有力量、更相信自己能夠成為自己想要的樣子的書。

  我們的言語會形塑我們的思考，而我們的思考會形塑我們的感覺；我們怎樣感覺會決定了我們的行為，而我們的行為也決定了我們的信念。我們說的話可能會起到涓涓細流的作用：它們剛說出來時看似微不是道，但卻會向下滲透到我們生命的最核心。如果我們的話能夠形塑我們的思考方式，那麽它們就可以改變我們的心緒，改變我們大腦中的神經化學物質來影響我們的情緒。我們的言語是如此強大，但我們總是忘記這一點⋯⋯又或者我們從一開始就沒有意識到它們有多麼影響深遠。

  結尾我也很喜歡：

  外面有一個世界，你可以用新的敘事在其中成為你想成為的任何人。

  勇於創造你自己吧。

moments in november

• 近期陸續有朋友從國外回來放假，能夠相聚的感覺真好。十分珍惜。

• 月中去看了 Super Junior 演唱會，啊，真的是我們的青春啊。跟當初補習班坐旁邊一起討論的朋友一起參與這場二十週年的盛會，開場前的應援總彩就已經很想哭，感受到這份巨大的愛在場地迴盪。開場後第一首歌就莫名眼淚流到不行。謝謝互相珍惜的關係，感謝音樂。

  

• 和家人一起去了一趟礁溪小旅行，發現礁溪溫泉公園有三個溫度不同的泡腳池。剛好在走完一小段步道之後泡腳，覺得腳明顯有變輕的感覺，好舒服！

• 聽了好久的 Christian Kuria 在這個月來台表演了，整場的體驗很讓人享受。音樂真是神奇的媒介。可以聽到〈Deep Green〉的現場真是快樂無比。

• 抽到《打開台北》的活動名額，參觀了國家鐵道博物館目前尚未開放的鍛冶工場及防空洞，好有趣！看到目前最老的蒸氣槌設備，了解了更多原先台北機廠的歷史，還有厲害的職工們從前的工作點滴。館內還有展覽空間跟小火車可以搭，歡迎大家前往參觀！

• 發現自己對於分享經驗並幫助到其他人這件事感到快樂，例如 Google 評論或是面試趣的分享，能夠成功幫別人避雷覺得真讚。

沒想到要進入 2025 的最後一個月了，怎麼時間過得這麼快啊。

願讀到這裡的你擁有一個愉快且滿足的年末。

flows start moving

I’ve regained some of my energy this month. I can feel the flow in my body starting to move again.

voice from the body

One day during my shower, I heard my inner voice saying, “Maybe I can start jogging again.” I began with three sun salutations each morning, feeling my body move again. Then I bought gym tickets and started moving forward again on the treadmill. It still feels wonderful after a workout, and I’m always proud of myself after jogging.

Next, I organized my clothes for the upcoming fall and winter, and threw away some pants, coats, and hats. I finished writing a few letters and sent them out—handling all the little things one by one. I felt great after completing each item and even sensed a small achievement. During times when motivation is low, just finishing small tasks is enough.

・・・

I’m still thinking about life and lifestyle. What is life? What kind of lifestyle would I like to experience? What do human beings really need? These questions keep circling in my mind. This year, I realized that we actually don’t need that many things, and we often eat too much—which has also reduced some of my expenses. I’ve been putting more resources into experiences and spending time with people I cherish, and I find it mentally rewarding.

・・・

I’ve been watching The Science of Well-Being on Coursera from Yale. It’s about what truly makes people happy. Normally, we think good grades, nice jobs, money, a good-looking body, or expensive things will bring us happiness. But research shows that they don’t make us as happy as we expect. The course is really interesting—I’m only 30% through it. It’s free to watch and available in English with subtitles in different languages.

I still think health and peace of mind are the most important things.

Aino, Elissa, and Alvar Aalto

My friend told me about a JUT Art Museum event featuring the documentary Aalto: Architect of Emotions. After watching the film, I went to the museum to visit the exhibition. When I was an exchange student in Helsinki, I had no idea that Alvar’s partners actually played crucial roles in the office and in Artek Furniture. I love that the documentary uses the letters between Alvar and Aino as part of the main narrative, which allows the audience to understand them more deeply.

During my days in Helsinki, I often walked into Artek after my classes. Seeing things like pencil cases and notebooks always made me happy. I always wondered whether I should buy a poster to bring home. And it’s been so long since I last heard Finnish—it’s such a difficult language. I even resumed my Duolingo Finnish lessons that day, haha.

The exhibition is carefully designed with wooden materials. There are also a few classic Artek chairs for visitors to try sitting on. Two months left until the exhibition ends. Go visit before it’s over!

books in november

I read some books I really liked this month. Reading makes me happy.

• At the beginning of the year, I saw Sabrina Huang recommend 玩物誌 by 潘家欣, so I added it to my reading list. I waited in line for the library reservation and finally got it. I loved this book so much. She writes about fruits, bracelets, perfume, studying art in college and the food there, writing tools, learning Go, realizing her life status, and the identity of being a woman, a mom, and other roles.

• I also got the popular Rewire: Break the Cycle, Alter Your Thoughts and Create Lasting Change. It’s truly an empowering book. You can be who you want to be—just go create yourself.

moments in november

• Some of my friends came back to Taiwan recently. I love being together and really cherish those moments with each other’s company.

• I went to Super Junior’s concert this month. Oh, it’s really our youth. I went with the friend who used to sit next to me and talked about them together at cram school, and we celebrated their 20th anniversary together. I almost cried during the fan-event practice before the concert began, because I could feel the enormous love echoing through the venue. I couldn’t help but cry even more during the opening songs. Thank you for this loving bond; thank you, music.

• I took a short trip to Jiaoxi with my mom. We found out that there are three hot-spring foot pools in Jiaoxi Spring Park. IIt was so relaxing! We went there after a small hike on the trail and felt our feet become lighter. So cool.

• Christian Kuria came to Taiwan as the last stop of his tour. We enjoyed the performance so much! Music is such a magical medium. I was so happy to finally hear “Deep Green” live.

• I got a ticket for “Open Taipei” and visited parts of the National Railway Museum. It was so interesting to learn about the history of the area and how the workers used to repair the trains. It’s truly an amazing place to learn more about railways.

• I’ve also found myself feeling happy when helping people by sharing my experiences on platforms like Google Maps or interview-sharing site. It feels good to help others avoid unpleasant experiences. Yay!

I can’t believe it’s already the last month of 2025. Why does time fly so fast?

Hope you have a wonderful year-end season and feel content throughout it.

English version below.

days without energy

十月的下半先迎來了流感（應該是）。上班的同時感覺身體不太妙，但又覺得應該還好吧，忍耐著身體的寒冷（想說應該是冷氣加上天氣變冷）加上關節微弱酸痛、借了同事的毯子蓋、一邊覺得哇怎麼這麼累我該不會真的發燒了吧。撐到下班前往診所，結果護理師一量 39.1 度，說著「哇燒得有點高喔。」

因為醫生說這些症狀都跟流感蠻相符，建議休息五日，所以在家好好睡了幾天。睡眠充足加上飲食乾淨（醫生交代不能吃冰、糖、炸、辣的食物，還要十點睡），反而氣色跟皮膚變得超好。或許人生需要的也不過是如此簡單而已啊。

・・・

在病程走到尾聲後，發現自己進到一個能量超級低落的狀態。對於好多事情都提不起勁、也沒有力氣向外和誰聯絡、做各種事情都變得很慢、呼吸也一直很難吸到肚子。不確定這個狀態跟流感有沒有關係，一邊發現並承認自己這個狀態、一邊內心還是有點譴責這樣的自己，但同時沒什麼力氣做很巨大的改變。所以在整理了一下桌子、或是處理一點點換季的衣服這種小事之後，就會在心裡默默給自己一些肯定。

希望自己目前至少可以好好睡覺、好好吃飯就好了。

osaka and kyoto with parents

連假期間帶著爸媽去了一趟關西，上一次拜訪這裡已經是十一年前了。這次去了好一些已經記憶稍微模糊的景點、拜訪了很多寺廟（好喜歡西芳寺）（撿到好多寺廟皮克敏）、開始收集御朱印。帶著爸媽搭大眾交通的自助旅行似乎比去年的克羅埃西亞自駕還累，或許是因為有更多自己無法控制的要素吧。

這次跟以前高中日本交流旅行時寄宿的女生再次碰面，相隔了好多年，也好久沒有好好更新彼此的消息了。高一的時候去他們家，他送給我的自動筆我現在還在用，他們學校送的帆布袋，現在都還是裝我的游泳用品。還記得那年他媽媽拿出一台章魚燒機，跟我說「每個大阪人家都有一台喔！」然後教我怎麼做，那個溫馨的氛圍我都還記得。

在晚餐時間互相交代了上次見面到現在這十年左右的人生，對於經歷了一些轉折的他我真的由衷讚賞，一直跟他說「你真的做得太好了」，期待他未來能有更多為自己著想的決定！從他口中得到的回饋也讓我覺得，或許我也有慢慢長成一個不錯的大人吧，是個能帶給身邊的人能量的女子（有餘裕的時候啦）。

・・・

這次在京都逛皮件店的時候遇到一個台灣店員，後來寫了一張紙條回去給他，祝他工作順利、平安健康。本來很擔心只是自我感動，但他一拿到就說「我快哭了ＱＱ」的時候，總覺得自己應該有做對什麼吧。希望在海外的台灣人們都可以吃好睡好，不要感冒。

這次去關西的另一個心得是我真的太想念台灣的青菜了，熱的熟的蔬菜們。在日本外食要吃到熱的蔬菜真是好不容易，找了一餐吃溫野菜涮涮鍋，菜盤裡的蔬菜種類更加深了想念台灣火鍋的心情哈。我愛台灣高麗菜，嗚嗚。回國之後過幾天馬上去吃了，真是好好吃啊啊啊。

・・・

覺得旅行、或者說去到一個新地方最有趣的事情是腦海中空間的存放，從一開始做功課只有照片、影片的樣子，到真正走進那個場域的空間感，兩者是非常不同的。會存放在一個五感體驗的回憶資料夾裡面，到下一次看著同樣的照片或影片時，加入那些新增的感受。

moments in october

• 上週末去看了 Dasutt 演出，一年不見，進場前都快忘記他們是現場這麼好聽、如此有穿透力的樂團了。這次沒有演我最愛的〈Photograph〉，但開場的〈D〉最後無歌詞的段落聽到眼淚快掉下來了。感謝音樂、感謝現場演出。

  

  

• 本月看了《一如既往》，真是有趣。講了從以前到現在，關於人性那些不變的事情。看的時候時常在心裡跟著一起點點頭。

  我們在生活中很容易忽略到，某個程度的缺乏效率不但無可避免，甚至是理想狀態。

• 去當高中同學的手模，做了人生第一次美甲。看他操作各種步驟覺得好新奇，原來一個好看的甲面製程如此複雜，還有好多種酷酷的材料！沒想到磁鐵竟然可以成為造型跟亮光大小的要素，真的長知識。

• 在家養病的時候看了 webtoon 的《When Jasy Whistles》，中文版才剛開始連載，但發現英文版在去年已經第三季完結。人物們的成長好好看喔，是以巴拉圭神話為基底的，關於人和神、過去與未來、愛與付出的故事。

• 這兩個禮拜在練習吃飯速度再更慢一點，希望再少吃一點空氣進去腸胃裡面。

• 最近家教的心得：想養育孩子的人們，可以時不時試想一下如果哪天他跟你的期待差距很大的時候，你會怎麼辦呢？

• 這次在關西看到帶小孩的、騎腳踏車接送孩子的、超市採買的，還是幾乎都是女性；還有街上的女學生們似乎沒有褲裝的選項。還是會為這件事忍不住感到哀傷。

呼吸在看完物理治療之後又有調整回來了一些，身體真的是一個不間斷地動態平衡啊。希望看到這裡的你，十一月也能吃好睡好，健健康康。

buy me a coffee

low-energy mode

Summer just suddenly disappeared without any notice. It’s getting cooler in Taipei now.

days without energy

Caught the flu near the end of October. I first felt a bit weird at the office, but thought it wasn’t a big deal. Then I borrowed a blanket from my colleague because I was feeling cold, but I assumed it was just the cooler weather and the air-con. Later I started thinking maybe I actually had a fever, so I went to the clinic after work. The nurse checked my temperature and said, “Wow, it’s 39.1 — that’s quite a high fever.”

The doctor said all my symptoms matched the flu and suggested that I rest for at least five days. I stayed home and slept for three days. With enough sleep and a clean diet (the doctor said no sweet, icy, fried, or spicy food; and sleep at ten), my face and skin are in spectacular condition. Maybe that’s all we really need in life after all.

・・・

When the flu was almost gone, I felt like I had no energy. I didn’t have any motivation to do much, didn’t want to reach out to anyone, had trouble breathing deeply into my stomach, and did everything very slowly. I’m not sure if it’s related to the flu. I observe myself and try to accept it, but still blame myself a little at the same time. With limited energy, I try to praise myself after doing small things — like wiping the table clean or organizing clothes for the next season.

For now, just eat well and sleep well.

osaka and kyoto with parents

During the holidays in October, I brought my parents to the Kansai area. It had been 11 years since my last visit. I went to quite a few spots that had already faded from my memory, visited lots of shrines and temples (I loved Saihoji so much), and started collecting goshuin. This trip with my parents using public transportation was much more tiring than last year’s road trip in Croatia. I guess it’s because there were more uncertainties and waiting along the way.

When I was in high school, there was a cultural exchange trip to Osaka, and I participated. At that time, everyone was paired with a local student and stayed at their house for a night. During this trip, I had the chance to meet that girl again. It had been so long since we last met, and we finally caught up. I still remember visiting her home in my first year of high school — her mom brought out a takoyaki machine, told me that every family in Osaka owns one, and taught me how to make them. The happiness and warmth from that memory still live in my mind. And I’m still using the automatic pencil she gave me that year.

During dinner with my friend, we updated each other on our lives over the past ten years. I couldn’t help but keep saying, “You’ve really done a great job” because of all the changes and difficulties she had faced. I truly hope that she will make more decisions for herself in the future. And through her eyes, I felt like maybe, as an adult, I really have become someone who can spread positive energy to others.

・・・

We met a Taiwanese clerk in a leather store in Kyoto. After a while, I decided to write her a little note wishing her all the best with work and health. I was worried that it might be too much, but when she saw it and said, “Ohh I’m going to cry,” I felt like maybe I had done something good after all. Wishing all overseas workers good food, good sleep, and no colds.

Another thought from this trip: I really miss all kinds of hot, cooked vegetables in Taiwan. It’s really hard to find cooked (not pickled) vegetables in restaurants in Japan. We had hotpot once, and the vegetables made me miss Taiwanese hotpot even more. I love Taiwanese cabbage. I had it right after I came back, and it was SO GOOD!

・・・

The coolest thing about traveling — or going to a new place — for me is how the place gets stored in my mind. From pictures and videos to actually walking in the space, the difference is huge. The experiences with all the senses are stored in little drawers in my head. Whenever I see photos or videos of that place again, the drawer opens, and the memories replay.

moments in october

• Went to see Dasutt’s performance last weekend. I had almost forgotten how good they are after a year. Although my favorite song, “Photograph,” wasn’t on the set list, the last part of “D” as the opening song made my eyes wet. Grateful for music, grateful to live performances.

• Read Same as Ever: A Guide to What Never Changes this month. It was really interesting — all about aspects of human nature that have stayed the same over time. I couldn’t help but agree with so many parts.

• My high school friend is starting her nail business and was looking for hand models. I tried gel nails for the first time, and it was fascinating to watch all the steps. I had no idea beautiful nails required such delicate work, and I learned that magnets can actually shape the light and color on nail polish. Really cool!

• During my sick leave, I read When Jay Whistles on webtoon. The Mandarin version just launched, and I found that the English version had already finished last year with three seasons. The growth of the characters is amazing. The story is based on Paraguayan mythology — about humans and gods, the past and the future, and love and giving.

• I’ve been practicing eating slower lately, trying not to swallow too much air into my stomach these past two weeks.

• Recent tutoring thought: if someone wants to raise a child, maybe they should first ask themselves — what if your child turns out very different from what you expect? What would you do then?

• During the Kansai trip, I noticed again that the people carrying children, picking kids up, and buying groceries were still mostly women; and schoolgirls still don’t seem to have pants options for uniforms. I still feel sad about these things.

My breathing has become much smoother after my regular PT sessions. I guess the human body is always seeking its own kind of dynamic equilibrium.

Thanks for reading till the end. Hope you eat well and sleep well in November too.

buy me a coffee

english version below.

see something you know through others’ eyes

這個月帶著朋友回澎湖玩，重新走過一些熟悉和不熟悉的地方。用別人的眼睛再看一次自己覺得很漂亮的景色，感受到旅行跟生活的日常真是很不一樣。

澎湖其實蠻大的，如果想悠閒地感受海島的慢步調，通常抓個四天或更多會更有餘裕一些。如果還想去其他離島（七美、望安），或是其他跳島行程的話，也可以玩更多天。夏天真的很熱又很曬，推薦開車；騎機車真的太曬了，體力會下降很快⋯⋯。防曬用品也要備齊，遮好遮滿最不容易曬傷！這陣子充分感受到了降溫傘的美好，烈日之下真是非常需要。

朋友這次帶著空拍機在我們鄉里每天勤奮地早起飛空拍，拍出好多自己平常看不到的美麗景色，真是太感謝。台灣真的真的很漂亮啊（吶喊————）。

這次旅程也有不少是自己已經去過的點，但每次再訪都還是覺得很美，也會一邊想起以前帶其他朋友來玩的回憶；在這裡一起聊過的天、發生過的事情。例如還不會開車的時候給朋友騎機車載，太熱兩個人累到在旅客服務中心睡覺，我還差點在後座睡著掉下去。或是跟朋友一起去水族館，結果遇到有個大叔抱著自己的馬爾濟斯跟裡面的魚說嗨（我們直接爆笑）、餵食秀的潛水員願意跟我一起手比愛心拍照。畢業前和朋友們一起在西臺古堡看夕陽，還有去西嶼的那天經痛到換人開車的點滴。

想想就覺得，有這些事情可以回顧真好。啊果然人生就是要創造回憶，這真是最讚的事情了吧！

seoul trip for ifsc wch 2025

2020 東京奧運那年運動攀登開始加入奧運，我是在那年因為疫情剛好在家一直看比賽，看一看之後開始關注（入坑）的。

Climbing 一整年的賽事很多，觀看很方便，大部分 youtube 都會有直播存檔可以上去重播觀看。比賽看著看著，也開始關注起越來越多選手，大部分更喜歡看女生比賽，熱愛看他們展現強壯和技巧的樣子，讓我覺得啊我或許也做得到（雖然至今也沒去幾次岩館哈）。本來還想說是不是去看個巴黎奧運，結果太晚發現售票平台，門票早已售罄。剛好在家裡用大螢幕看，在沙發上吶喊幫選手加油。

四月攀岩界的 GOAT Janja Garnbret 發文公布他今年會參加的比賽，看到貼文裡的首爾，就想說「啊，要去吧，很近欸」。等到確定買到門票之後，就把旅程確定下來了。相比於之前看演唱會都偏快閃的行程，這次住了五個晚上，扣掉前後兩天搭機日也算是有四個整天，終於有好好逛到首爾的感覺。

・・・

運動攀登的比賽分為速度賽、先鋒賽跟抱石賽。速度賽（Speed）是比一個固定路線的攀登速度，不管在哪的路線都會長得一樣，就是看誰最快。先鋒賽（Lead）是選手會在一個 12 公尺的岩壁上攀（選手腰部會綁上繩子），看誰能夠攀爬得最高、甚至完攀路線。抱石賽（Boulder）則是有四道題目，選手在時間內看誰能以嘗試次數最少把題目完攀。

這次選擇看了 Lead 和 女子組 Boulder 的 semi-final 跟 final。比賽好精彩，現場的感覺跟看 youtube 真是很不一樣，觀眾們一起尖叫、選手們落地時一起發出嘆息，一起因為刺激的賽況為選手加油喝采、鼓掌叫好，一起因為看起來很艱困的岩點流手汗（我啦），或是暫時屏住呼吸。

這次最激動的其中一個時刻，是早上看完 Lead semi-final，拍完會場的拍貼機、逛了一下商品之後走出會場。過了不久看到奧地利隊走出來，啊，天哪，看到 Jessica Pilz 了。發現他們把東西放下，國家隊要一起合照。他們拍完之後我又在旁邊觀察了一下，過了不久有其他幾個觀眾就去找 Jakob Schubert 合照了。我鼓起勇氣走向 Jessy，請他幫我簽名跟問他能不能跟我合照。結束之後我直接蹲在地上，啊，太激動了；手過了半小時之後也還是有點點抖，哈哈。

從東京奧運開始一直一直很喜歡 Jessy，去年巴黎奧運看他拿到銅牌我真心超級快樂。他今年受傷恢復中還沒能進到 semi，能夠這樣遇到我真是太快樂了。激動的程度是當天中午吃飯想到這件事還會有點泛淚。這就是見到偶像的心情吧，真是阿彌陀佛感謝宇宙我的天哪，謝謝謝謝。

・・・

這次首爾行真的非常感激 naver map 上面「BE LOCAL SEOUL」的企劃清單，我們因此吃到好幾間好好吃的店，還有探到喜歡的美術館。這次吃到的在地美食，基本上店內九成都是韓國人；吃到幾間店裡面是觀光客為主的，都以失望作收，哈。

很感謝本次的旅行，還有一起旅行的伴侶。這次的體驗就像江鵝之前說的，覺得又豐富了我的內在地景，很喜歡這種增加了人生新體驗的感覺。第一次看了攀岩比賽的現場、看到好多喜歡的選手、走訪了不同的區域、體驗食物的不同吃法（還很好吃）。能有這樣的經驗，我由衷地感激且快樂，謝謝！

moments in september

• 本月看完了藍佩嘉老師的《拚教養：全球化、親職焦慮與不平等童年》，覺得太好看了，果然還是好喜歡社會學。

本書以親職焦慮為鏡，映現出臺灣在全球化脈絡中所面對的風險與挑戰，包括相對停滯的本地經濟與薪資、與全球資本主義更緊密的連結與競爭、產業變化的不確定性，而日趨擴大的階級落差正透過教養形塑許多孩子的不平等童年。

臺大社會系特聘教授藍佩嘉，延續她在《跨國灰姑娘》中對於社會不平等的觀察與追索，從城市到鄉村，深入田野訪談近六十個家庭，並到學校教學現場實際觀察，扣緊中產階級與勞工階級的差異，分析臺灣目前幾種主要的教養模式，追問為什麼父母會做出某種選擇，以及這些選擇對家庭與孩子的影響，是理解臺灣當代教養現況重要的田野報告。

• 這兩年我的機上跟旅行讀物是《Pachinko》，陸陸續續慢慢看著看著，在這個月也讀完了，跟著人物們一起走過了點點滴滴，中間也少不了心痛（哭）。最後結尾這樣收，真好。

• 還有終於把《我的出走日記》看完了，好喜歡。具先生（孫錫久飾）每次看向美貞（金智媛飾）的眼神真的是會讓人呼吸暫停一下的樣子。看完這齣之後點開了《浪漫的體質》（偏普），結果後半部出現孫錫久我真是十分快樂，哈哈。

• 全家出了紫色地瓜，真的超級紫！是充滿花青素的抗發炎主食選擇，讚讚的。

• 那天看了《小海報》分享的影片，關於「你為何需要感受無聊」，看完覺得受到啟發。自從擁有智慧型手機之後，就算是短暫的等待時間，例如排廁所或等紅燈，也會容易拿起手機看；這在只有陽春手機的時候是不會發生的。
  影片在講述說，在無聊的時間你的大腦才會思考重要的、比較困難的問題，例如生命的意義為何。因此最近有開始練習在一些通勤的時刻也不聽音樂或 podcast，單純觀察路人或放空，感覺腦袋有變得更安靜一些。

進入 2025 的最後一季了，生活似乎將迎來一些變化，期待自己可以好好地迎接。
以海的照片作結，希望能帶來一些平靜或療癒。

buy me cup of coffee

make memories for your life

Switching between trips and daily lives, I’ve got some new experiences this month.
Still pretty hot in Taiwan these days.

see something you know through others’ eyes

Brought my friends back with me and travel in Penghu. Visiting familiar and unfamiliar places from a traveller’s point of view, I feel like experiencing them all over again. Daily lives and traveling are so different.

Penghu is actually a pretty big island (with more small islands around). If you would like to experience and slow pace on it, it would be great to make the visit at least four days or more. There are also boat trips to visit other islands around, and they may take you a whole day time during the trip. It’s pretty hot and the sun is strong during summer, so it'll be best if you drive rather than riding a scooter. Make sure to cover your skin as much as you can to prevent sunburnt. I’ve been using UV proof umbrella these months, and I think it is a must in summer now…

My friend brought her drone there and woke up early in the mornings during her stay. She captured so many beautiful scenes in our village. I’m truly grateful with all these spectacular shots. Taiwan is sooooooooooo beautiful.

During the trip, there are also lots of spots where I’ve been to a few times, but I still can see the beauty of them every time. I recalled the memories I’ve had in the same place with my other friends as well, such as my friend rode a scooter and we got so tired because of the heat from the sun and decided to get some sleep in the traveller’s center, and I almost fell down because I fell asleep behind her on the scooter; in the aquarium, my friend and I saw a men carrying his maltese dog to say hi to the fish and we laughed so hard about it, and the diver made a heart hand with me when I wanted to take a picture. Before graduation in college, we saw the sunset together at Xiyu West Fort, and had bad period cramps under the Tongliang Great Banyan.

Recalling those memories made me realize that creating memories is the most important thing in life. And also the best part of life.

seoul trip for ifsc wch 2025

I first started to know sports climbing since 2020 TOKYO Olympics. Due to COVID, staying home was the best opportunity to keep watching games.

There are lots of world cups to watch in the whole year, and they are easy to watch on youtube. After watching more and more games, I start to know more climbers. I mostly watch women climbers compete, since I love seeing them show their strength, which makes me feel like I can do something like that too (though I barely go to climbing gyms lol). I thought about going to Paris 2024 as well, but found out the ticketing platform too late and it was already sold out. I watched it at home and cheered for them on my sofa instead.

In April, I saw Janja Garnbret (our GOAT of climbing) posted about all the competitions she was participating, and I saw Seoul. I was like “wow, it's really near. I should go.” When I got the tickets for the game, I settled the trip. My previous trips to Seoul were mainly for concerts so they were kinda rush. This time I planned for five night, and I’ve got four whole days to travel. I finally had the ease to walk around the city.

There are three disciplines in sports climbing: Speed, Lead, and Boulder. Speed is a fixed route and the fastest climber wins. Lead is where climbers try to top a 12 meters route and see who can climb the farthest. Boulder contains four questions, where climbers try to solve each problem and top the routes.

We watched Lead and Women’s Boulder for both semi-final and final this time. It was so exciting to watch in the venue, so different from watching it on the screen. Crowds screamed together, sighed together when climbers fell, cheered and clapped together for dramatic moments. And I got lots of sweat in my hand and sometimes forgot to breathe because of some bad holds.

One of the highlights during my trip was when we walked out the venue after taking photos in the photo booth and window shopping in the store, I saw Austrian team walking out. And OH MY GOD I saw Jessica Pilz. They were going to take a group photo together, so I kinda waited for them to finish. Some audience went straight to them for Jakob Schubert to take a photo together, so I gathered some courage and walked to Jessy. I asked her if she could sign for me and take a picture with me, and she said yes. After saying “Thank you so much” lots of time, I walked away and squatted on the ground, feeling my whole body pounding with my heart. My hands were still a bit shaky even after half an hour.

I have always been a fan of Jessy since Tokyo 2020, and I was so happy to see her get a bronze medal last year in Paris. She’s recovering from injury and didn’t get into semi this year in Seoul, but I am so lucky to get to meet her after four years. I got a bit teared up during lunch that day; I guess that’s the feeling of finally see your idol. Thank the universe for this.

・・・

Shout out to the “BE LOCAL SEOUL” list on never map. We found so many nice restaurants and museums we like very much in it. In all the restaurants we visited this time, where most customers are Korean, the food is very delicious. And those filled with foreigners are more likely to fail you at the end lol.

I feel blessed about this trip, and my partner traveling with me. The experience of this trip is like broadening my inner landscape (once heard this from a video), and I love the feeling of getting new experiences in my life. The first time seeing climbing comps in person, watching so many players I love competing, walking around different areas in Seoul, and trying new ways of eating food (and tasty at the same time). Grateful and joyful with all these memories.

moments in september

• Finished a book of a sociological research of raising a child in Taiwan. It's so nice, and I love it so much. Thanks to sociology.

• I read Pachinko these two years during my travel and on the plane, and finally finished it this month. Walked with the lives of this family and felt all the pain as well. Really love the ending. Here are some parts that I love in the book.

Phoebe loved being with Solomon’s family. It was much smaller than her own, but everyone seemed closer, as if each member were organically attached to one seamless body, whereas her enormous extended family felt like cheerfully mismatched Lego bricks in a large bucket.

It had been eleven years since he’d died; the pain didn’t go away, but its sharp edge had dulled and softened like sea glass.

• Finally finished Korean drama My Liberation Notes this month, and it always makes my breath stop a little bit when Mr. Gu (Son Suk-ku) looks at Mi-jeong (Kim Ji-won).

• Tried the purple sweet potato in Family Mart and it’s sooooooo purple! There must be so much anthocyanidin in it and it’s gonna be your anti-inflammatory diet choice.

• Read a substack sharing the video about “You Need to Be Bored. Here’s Why.” I’m truly inspired after watching. Ever since I got a smartphone, even a very short waiting time such as for toilet or a red light makes me wanna check my phone.
  In the video, it says your brain only thinks about important, difficult topics when you’re bored, for example, the meaning of life. I started to practice not listening to music or podcast during some time of my commute, just do nothing and observe the passengers. I do feel more peace in my head.

It’s the last quarter of 2025, and there might be some changes in my life as well. Hope I can embrace them well.
Conclude this issue with pics of ocean, wish they bring you some peace as well.

English version below

about belonging

「你是哪裡人」是個簡單的問題嗎？這個在國外總能夠一秒答出來的題目，每次在台灣被問到反而都要想個好幾秒。「我在離島出生，住在蛋白區，但在蛋黃區讀書。」好像無法直接說出「我是ＯＯ人」這樣的句子。在城市生活的時候，時常也覺得游刃有餘，有著符合這個城市的樣子，卻又不覺得自己完全屬於這裡；而在家鄉時，光從外表和穿著就能看出我也並不生活在這。

我好像站在這裡，卻又屬於那裡。

八月中家人們回鄉幫阿媽慶祝生日。下午阿媽一如既往在門口跟鄰居們聊天，我們拿了他最愛的珍珠奶茶（要小珍珠！）去給他。隔壁阿伯看到我就問說「啊這個台灣人喔？」，阿媽語氣堅定說著「說什麼啦！這個我們這邊人啦！是我們ＯＯ的女兒欸！」當下的我感到開心，也同時有點心虛。我這個被阿媽認為是當地人的女子，平常生活的樣子跟這塊土地不太貼近，也還無法用阿媽的母語跟他流利地聊天，這樣的我夠有資格嗎？這也是今年我逐漸開始學台文和台羅的其中一個原因，期許往後能夠更貼近這塊土地和人。

・・・

而在海裡游泳的時候，總覺得我就是屬於這裡。

澎湖的海水很鹹。暑假回去都會走去家裡附近的海灘玩，以前會在沙灘上跟大家一起挖一個洞，讓裡面裝滿海水，成為一個小的游泳池。也會在沙灘上找漂亮的貝殼、有時候從沙灘上的洞往下挖尋找螃蟹。但最喜歡的還是待在水裡，小時候老爸教我怎麼在浪來的時候跳動或下潛，避免直接被浪帶走。大學後開始在海裡游更長的距離，我們知道海岸的哪些地方有機會看到整群的沙丁魚，有些地方有小丑魚、珊瑚和海參，偶爾還能看到休息中的獅子魚。當海水清澈的時候，一邊游可以看到一道道灑進海裡的陽光；還有一波波不同的水溫，時冷時熱，很有趣。

還有每次換氣看到的藍天，傍晚時分偶有橘色、粉色交錯的雲彩。這種時候我都覺得自己是被宇宙擁抱的人（雖然今年被水母攻擊，可惡）。

・・・

澎湖的天空太遼闊了，回到城市後花了一些時間適應建築和人的密度。在城市裡活動的時候，衣著和飾品是我的保護色，一種讓自己感到舒適與自在的方式。回鄉的時候，出門不戴飾品、不噴香水、穿著隨意卻還是能感到自在。好像光是存在就已經足夠，不需要再向世界證明什麼了。在獲得了海洋、天空跟土地的能量回到城市之後，覺得心好像更加沈穩了。雖然生活的例行公事們沒什麼巨大的轉變，但先前某種日常的焦慮和不安定感減少了很多。或許身體上某種設定是靠近大自然或土地，才是更符合自己運轉的機制吧。

build relationships

日常與人們建立的關係十分多樣，而我一直是個更直覺、也無法講場面話的人。這次伴侶也有跟我一起回鄉，在過程中也會一直思考他的角色是什麼。在一個家人跟客人之間的角色，會常常出現在我旁邊的人。他該用我叫親戚長輩的稱呼叫他們嗎？他比我做更多家事幫更多忙似乎是件會被稱讚肯定的事情，但如果情況反過來呢？如果是我去他們家作客，也會被這樣期待嗎？這是否又是一件關於結構跟性別的議題呢？

我們經營這段穩定的關係好幾年了，一起學習成長了許多，關於情緒關於衝突關於彼此的期待還有關於自己的樣貌。在彼此身邊的我們總是最自在的。但要怎麼講述對方的好讓家長了解，這件事實在還是很困難。總覺得自己是不擅於幫伴侶行銷的人，也或許因為跟長輩的切入點不同，才更難以闡述吧。

connections

八月初和前同事們吃了一頓飯，一位大家摯愛的同仁要從前單位退休了。

因為喜歡閱讀跟實體活動的關係，第一份工作是和這兩件事相關的單位。本來入職前覺得這是一份對自己來說超級完美的工作，結果勞動條件實在不太好，底下的年輕人們抱著理想進來、看透了之後紛紛選擇離去。不過前單位迎來的人們總有些氣息相同之處，大家在這樣有人要離去的聚餐中認識。我陸陸續續跟後來到職、仍在職或已經離職的人們認識後，有些也逐漸變成朋友，覺得是神奇的緣分！從仍在職的同事們談論的內容裡可以得知，單位中掌權的人們不知從何時開始已經停止成長，性格也沒有長進，這些年來都還是一模一樣，真是不勝唏噓。

moments in august

• Demi Lovato 在 Jonas Brothers 的演唱會合體，還唱 Camp Rock 的歌真是回憶爆擊嗚。〈Wouldn’t Change A Thing〉的歌詞是我第一次學要怎麼用「Venus and Mars」的地方啊。那天的影片在各個平台播放次數都極多，喚回了我們這個世代的青春，真心期待《歌舞青春》合體的那天⋯⋯

• 本月其中一本書是《誰偷走了你的專注力》，十分真實有感。一邊看會重新思考很多自己原本的習慣，還有我們受到的各種外界影響。

  「他們的商業模式是螢幕時間，而不是人生時間。」

  今天的情況就如崔斯坦所說，每當你想放下手機時，螢幕後面有 1,000 個工程師要你再度拿起它；每當你試圖放棄加工食品時，就有一個行銷專業團隊要讓你屈服並再次購買。

• 另外一本是正在當高中公民老師的高中同學推薦的《反民主》，作者精準到令人害怕。推薦給所有關注社會、政治以及國際現況的朋友們。

  在公民社會中，我身邊大部分的民眾在公眾領域中都是朋友（civic friend），是某個巨大合作體系的一部分。而民主讓人反感的性質之一，就是它讓這些人威脅到我的幸福。它讓我周圍的民眾以危險不負責任的方式使用權力，逼迫我接受。藉此，民主讓我們彼此為敵（civic enemy) 。

• Emily Rover 製作的酸種麵包、甜點跟抹醬很像日常生活中的寶石。可以嚐到他對於土地和食物的愛。早餐時光享用會一邊覺得幸福跟感激。

• 在聽 Tinashe 好幾年之後，終於看到他的表演了！本來以為歌單沒有，所以在聽到〈Save Room For Us〉的前奏出來的時候，真是叫到要瘋掉哈。那天沒什麼 talking 時間，幾乎把一個多小時用唱歌跟舞填滿。從耳機裡的音樂到離自己這麼近的舞台上，真是好不可思議。

• 這個月撿到兩次卡。學到如果在非捷運站範圍撿到悠遊卡，要拿去派出所；如果是撿到信用卡，可以拿去發卡銀行的分行。那天拿去銀行的時候遇到很可愛的保全伯伯，讓人對這個世界多了一點信心的那種。希望失主都能順利尋回它們。

• 前幾週看了 Netflix 上的《無痛殺手 Painkiller》，哇很好看但真是太令人創傷了。製藥公司明知道這個是對人類有害的，卻持續製造並賺錢；這麼多人因此用藥過度死亡了耶，我的天哪。看完過後好像有做了相關內容的惡夢，嗚。

• 一間從國高中開始吃的咖啡店輕食這個月底收了，是乘載了許多回憶的地方。最喜歡它們的冷麵沙拉了，健康營養又價格合理。謝謝這些年的陪伴。
  

上週因爲經期又早起身體很疲憊，但因為吃得蠻乾淨的，好像有感覺到身體的快樂。謝謝這樣子的回饋。

祝你九月也身體健康，生活踏實。

buy me cup of coffee

days of stepping and flowing

Can’t believe two-thirds of this year has passed, and I have written my monthly newsletter for 10 months, wow. Gotta clap a bit for myself.

about belonging

Is “Where are you from?” an easy question? I can answer without thinking when I’m abroad, but cannot when I’m in Taiwan. When asked about where I am from, it always takes me a few seconds to think about what to answer. “My hometown is in Penghu but I lived and studied in other city.” is something I would reply. In this big Taipei city, a lot of times I feel like I’m quite good at being a city girl; while I do not regard myself someone from here. While in Penghu, it’s also easy to tell that I might not be someone who lives here solely from appearance and clothing style.

It seems like I always belong to the other place instead of where I’m standing.

In mid-August, most of our family members visited Penghu to celebrate grandma’s birthday together. One afternoon, she was chatting with neighbors as usual, and we brought her her favorite bubble milk tea (little boba one). One of her chatting buddies asked whether I’m someone from Taipei, and grandma said firmly: “She’s from this village! What are you talking about?” At that moment, I felt happy about the recognition, but also a bit ashamed that I’m not even familiar with the language my grandma speaks, which is why I have started to learn Taiwanese this year.

・・・

Apart from this, swimming in the ocean eases me.

The ocean water in Penghu is especially salty if you compared with other places around Taiwan. The beach near our house has been my summer company since I was little, although we only meet a few times per year. We dug a space on the beach and made it a little pool with water, tried to find crabs through their traces, and found beautiful shells on the sand. Above all the things, I love staying in the water the most. I learned how to move with the wave without falling, and started to swim in the ocean with my dad. These years, we have found out some spots where we can see lots of creatures including different kinds of fish and corals. While swimming, it’s amazing to see sunlight passes through water and finds its way to the sand, and the temperature changes from time to time.

Whenever I take a breath, I see the blue sky. I feel like I’m hugged by the universe.

・・・

The sky is so wide in Penghu that it took me a while to get used to the crowded city when I came back. In the city, dressing up sometimes is a way of protection, or a kind of guard to feel comfortable. While back on the island, I do not wear rings, necklaces, or earrings and I still feel good enough to be there. Being there is already enough; I do not need to prove anything to the world. With the energy from the ocean, sky, and the ground, I feel more settled in mind. Although there’re no big differences in daily lives, the amount of anxiety and unsettlement surely have decreased a lot. I guess staying closer to the nature matches some inner setting in my body, and it refreshes me.

build relationships

We had different relationships with people in all kinds of scenarios. I am the type of person who relies more on intuition and not good at saying something with purpose. My partner went back to Penghu with me this month as well. I have been considering about the position where he stands a lot. Like he’s somewhere between family and friends, and he is often seen as part of me but he is expected to do more chores than I do. How should he call all my relative, the same as I do? Why people find it okay or great if he does all the dishes, but not the same for me if I visit his family? Is this case related to gender as well?

We’ve had a close and stable relationship for years. I find myself comfortable with him, and we have learned some many things while building this relationship together. While I still do not know how to say nice things about him to my parents. I guess marketing is something I’m bad at, or it is communicating that I’m poor at.

connections

I had a dinner gathering with my former colleague this month. Someone we loved is retiring. My first job was about books and book fairs; I thought this was a perfect opportunity for me since I had love going to book fairs since junior high. Unfortunately, the working condition in that place is pretty bad, so young people kept coming and leaving. It’s quite interesting that I met new coming people who I have never worked with them, and became friends with them. We met in gatherings like this, which made people connect together with new folks and we always find the supervisors still the same. They seem to stop growing at some moment, such a pity for the future of the foundation.

moments in august

• Demi Lovato reuniting with Jonas Brothers and singing Camp Rock songs brought me back to my teenage times. “Wouldn’t Change A Thing” was literally the song where I learned how to use the phrase “Venus and Mars” for the first time. It’s so healing for our generation. Look forward to High School Musical reunion as well…

• I have been reading Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention— and How to Think Deeply Again recently, and it’s mind-blowing. Highly recommend this book and it makes me consider about lots of my daily habits again.

• Against Democracy by Jason Brennan was recommend by my high school friend who is being a high school teacher herself now. This book is so real that it scares me so much.

• Sourdough, desserts, and spreads from Emily Rover are like gems. It is her love for the land and food that you can taste. I feel grateful having them for my breakfast.

• Finally saw Tinashe’s performance in Taiwan. I screamed so bad when I heard the opening of “Save Room For Us”. She didn’t talk much and filled the time with her singing and dancing. I’m glad seeing her here after listening to her music all these years. It’s unbelievable that she’s so near, from Spotify to the stage in front of me.

• If you find an easy card on the road in Taiwan, please turn it in the police station; if you find a credit card on the road, you can turn it in the bank.

• Finished watching Painkiller on Netflix this month, and it’s so traumatizing. It’s so devastating that people did something harmful to others and just pretended nothing happened.

• One of my most-visit cafe closed this month. I spent lots of time there eating, drinking, studying and thinking. I loved the salad so much. I will remember you.
  

I felt really tired due to my period and early commute, but eating quite clean last week made my body happy. The feedback from the body is so cool.

Hope you have a healthy September with happy moments in daily routines.

buy me cup of coffee

english version below

bring jogging back

自從 2021 跑完台北馬之後，跑步總是有一搭沒一搭的。這個月看了《步知道》，一本在太平洋屋脊步道健行的紀錄，看了也好想去走走看。想想覺得應該還是先從台灣的開始吧，要走的話也要好好練心肺，於是開始了每週的跑步練習。

跟四年前的自己比起來速度好像慢了一些，偶爾也還是會一邊跑一邊肚子痛，但跑完步的快樂還是一樣很讚呢。每週跑步的時間都充滿與自己的對話：提醒自己「呼吸呼吸呼吸」，很累很想放棄的時候跟自己說「再跑完這一公里」，然後再跟自己說「快結束了撐一下啊」，一邊觀察提醒自己核心有沒有足夠穩定，跑姿是不是跟剛開始沒有差太多。做了脊椎側彎物理治療一年後，更能找到脊椎中立的感覺了，似乎也對跑步的狀態有點幫助。

某次下班後在河堤一邊跑一邊看著橘色粉色藍色的天空，覺得好幸福喔，活著真好。暫時也不追求跑得多快或多長，目前期許可以把這個習慣一直維持下去。

solo moment in kaosiung

月初因為啤酒節的關係去了一趟高雄，算是個追星行程，一次邀到丁輝人跟金容仙的統一集團，一定是發現了這個粉絲群體的龐大商機。這次終於去到共生了，梅釀美式好好喝喔，好喜歡啊啊啊。

隔天早上自己在鹽埕區晃晃，因為颱風的關係市場開的攤位不多，偶然買到好好吃的草仔粿感覺十分幸福（芋粿巧也好讚），老闆阿嬤還問我說是不是還在讀書，看起來很年輕，怎麼人那麼好><。走一走路過一間街角試營運的咖啡店，坐在騎樓面向馬路的椅子上，一邊看《始於極限》。覺得這樣的時間很平靜且幸福，感到滿足。

因為颱風的雨勢決定提早搭自由座回程，第一次看到清潔人員打掃車廂的樣子，好厲害喔！車廂內椅子的各個部分都會用不同的布分別擦拭，桌版也會拉下來檢查並擦乾淨，各個角落都被整理得很乾淨之後，才讓大家上車。十分感激。

第一次看到大雨從高鐵車廂落下的樣子，覺得好漂亮。

recall movement in taiwan

七月底還有第一場罷免投票結束。

這次的運動源起是受不了國會現況的公民，大家看著不討論就投票的狀況、舉手表決、投完才公布的法案、想將立法院權力擴張的法案、理由寫得不清不楚就刪掉的預算、持續被癱瘓的憲法法庭⋯⋯。有許多不想再只是上街頭發聲的公民，決定行使自己罷免的權力，開始收集連署書。從第一階段的 1％，走到第二階段的 10%，再到最後的投票階段。看著志工們出攤、舉牌、風吹日曬雨淋，還受到路人謾罵、吐口水、言語威脅、甚至是身體上的暴力。而另一邊的反罷方，顯示出對於公民運動的鄙視和不屑，甚至動用戶政系統盜用人民個資，偽造文書。明明人民是他們服務的對象，是他們的雇主啊。

雖然第一次投票的結果並不如想像中美好，相信這場大型的公民運動也帶來了一些影響吧。我們都是一起走在這個時代的人們，正在寫下屬於我們的歷史呢。

moments in july

• 最近看了 Netflix 上的《盲選樂團 Building the Bands》，規則是 25 位歌手在包廂裡聽別人唱歌，在看不到彼此的狀況下選擇團員，組成 3-5 名成員的團體。過程真好看，好喜歡聽大家唱歌，十分期待後續各團的發展。節目中還有 Liam Payne 當評審、眼睛閃閃發光的樣子。

• 發現自己是會因為好歌或好舞台受到一個團吸引的人，前陣子很著迷於幾首歌跟舞台，反覆播放到一個快要入坑的程度。但現在好像沒辦法輕易成為粉絲了，一想到看起來很好的樣子可能只是包裝企劃的結果，本人個性不是這樣，考慮到韓國男性翻車的比例，理智上還是退卻了哈。

• 每次去吃到飽餐廳都是從「哇種類好多看起來好讚好好吃」到「喔我真的不要再吃吃到飽了⋯⋯」的循環。真的是不能再這樣傷害身體了哈哈。

• 近期在看見各種事的時候還是會提醒自己人的複雜性，或許擁有相同 A 價值的人在 B 會做出完全相反的決定。不管其他人的狀況如何，最重要的還是先把自己照顧好，不管是作息、好好睡覺、吃得營養健康、好好運動、做自己想做的事都好。

• 環境跟人真的都隨著時間不斷改變，看似待在同個位置的自己，跟前幾個月相比也有了新的觀點和勇氣。喜歡的音樂和創作者，也有可能在某一天發現彼此走向不同方向了而分道揚鑣。不過最近也有很多「啊真的沒喜歡錯」的心情，走在相似道路上的人還是不少吧！

不管怎麼樣，先把自己照顧好是最重要的。

祝好，願八月平安。

buy me a drink

we move with time

It’s already the end of July. Such a rainy summer.
Best wishes to the areas affected by the typhoon and flood in Taiwan.

bring jogging back

I have not been very into jogging after finishing my first half-marathon in 2021. This month, after reading a book about hiking on the PCT trail, I started thinking of going as well. Before going out and exploring, maybe Taiwan should be the place to start, since this is my home country, and the mountains in Taiwan are so beautiful as well. To have the physical ability to go hiking, training some more with running is a must. And jogging is back into my weekly routine again.

Compared to myself four years ago, my pace is much slower. I do feel stomachache sometimes, but the happiness after running is still spectacular. The time of running is the time to negotiate with myself. The process is like “breathe, breathe, breathe,” and "one more kilo” when I just wanna quit, and tell myself to “hang in there” to finish the goal today, at the same time observing if my spine is in a nice position, and if my running posture is still similar to the beginning. After my PT for scoliosis for about a year, my body has become more balanced, and I now know the correct position for my spine. The PT process is long and costs quite a lot, but it’s worth it at the end. Time and patience bring you far.

A few weeks ago, I ran on the riverbank after work, seeing the orange, pink, blue, and gray sky in the magic hour. I feel blessed to be alive. I don’t expect to run long distances at a fast pace; keeping the habit long is the goal now.

solo moment in kaosiung

I visited Kaohsiung early this month for a music festival to watch performances by Solar and WheeIn from MAMAMOO. The organizer invited two members of the group; I guess they have found out that they have loyal fans who are willing to pay (a lot and often) to see them. During my stay, I finally visited a coffee shop that has been on my list for a long time, Symbiosis 共生. The plum americano is soooooooooo good!

Walking around Yancheng District the next day, I love the atmosphere of Yancheng market a lot, which is combined with traditional style and modern design. I bought some rice made guǒ (粿) at one of the stands, and they are so delicious that I thank the universe for that. The owner even asked me if I’m still a student; she said I looked pretty young, haha. I bumped into a coffee shop in the corner that just started its soft opening. Sitting on a qilou, drinking a cup of iced latte, and reading a book (“Letters Between Chizuko Ueno and Ryomi Suzuki”) made me feel peace and grateful.

I decided to get home earlier due to the heavy rain brought by the typhoon, and that was the first time seeing how people clean the HSR (High Speed Rail) for the first time. They are so amazing and elegant at cleaning all parts of the car before letting all the passengers on board. I am so thankful for that.

Look how the heavy rain fell on the car. It's so beautiful.

recall movement in taiwan

There was also a recall vote day in July.

The story of the recall movement is like this: people are upset about how the legislators (pro-China KMT and TPP) have worked for the past year, such as being rude with the process without discussing, announcing the draft only after the vote, making laws that clearly against the Constitution, writing nonsense excuses to reduce the government budget, etc. Some people wanted to change the status and started to collect signatures from others to run the recall process, and after the first stage with 1% of the population, the second stage with 10%, we got to the last stage of the recall process. All the volunteers worked so hard to collect all the signatures, gave a speech, and promoted their values in all kinds of weather. While the other side showed despise in people’s activities, they even made fake copies of signatures to fight back.

Though after the first round of the recall vote, we did not take any of them down. I do believe that throughout this process, the Taiwanese are already writing down their history.

moments in july

• Just finished “Building the Band” on Netflix, in which 25 singers were invited to the program, and they listened to each other sing in their booth. All the singers chatted and formed their band without seeing each other. I love watching all the performances and look forward to their future music releases! Liam Payne was also one of the judges. It’s so good to see him shining like this.

• Just found out that I am easily attracted to artists or groups because of nice songs or great performances. A few weeks ago, I was kind of obsessed with some songs and kept repeating the stages over and over again, but now I cannot easily fall for boy groups anymore. Since I realize most of the nice images are created by the team behind them, and they might not be kind-hearted in real life. Just think about how often we see news of male artists with evil acts…

• Going to an All-you-can-eat restaurant is always like “wow so much delicious food” to “I don’t wanna do this anymore…” It’s really harmful to my body…

• Keep reminding myself about how complicated human beings are. Maybe someone has the same value in A topic and stands at the opposite side from you in B topic. The most important thing is still taking good care of yourself, whether it is sleeping well, eating well, exercising, or doing anything you want.

• Atmosphere and people never stop changing. Though I’m still staying in the same position, I feel like my mind has expanded with more courage. There are times that you find artists and creators who you liked before going in a different direction; sometimes there are moments like “ahh I knew I was right and that’s why I love you” as well. That’s when you think that you are not alone (with nice taste, ha).

Taking good care of yourself is always the priority, no matter what.

Wish you all the best in August.

buy me a drink

一直都是很容易曬黑（但要白很久）的人，上週再次用了粉底發現「哇之前有這麼白嗎？」，覺得已經很認真在防曬，結果膚色還是慢慢曬黑了啊哈。

陽明山老石人的網誌記錄在此，希望對於未來想前往的人有所幫助。

path in the forest

從六月初走到月底，逐漸理出接下來該怎麼走的頭緒。像是從一片霧茫茫的森林裡，逐漸找到一條路的感覺。

今年也有好多朋友即將出國讀書，在見面聊天、闡述自己的過程裡，也一次一次把自己的狀態看得更清楚了一些。總而言之，感謝這些緣分。也很期待接下來這段時間的各種體驗，期待自己可以更勇敢地去嘗試之後，再看看心得如何。

・・・

前幾週終於把履歷打開了，雖然也還在一個修改的過程，不過之後想嘗試的方向變得更清楚了，也開始有一些小故事。那天去聊了一個工作時間是午到晚的職缺，一開始他詢問我的時候，我就說可能無法配合全職，因為我平日有兩天要家教，如果是以兼職的形式或許有機會，那時候對方說可以先去聊聊看，討論合作方式。

結果當天友善的面試者又說還是希望全職開始，只有從全職轉成兼職對他們來說才是常態，因為他們前面有培訓。我表達說那應該有點困難，因為家教家長希望一個禮拜上兩次課，所以勢必會平日假日都要上課；加上我也教很久了，不太希望斷掉。結果我就開始被說教了哈，回來想了一天終於理出當下覺得卡卡的原因。他開始跟我說「緣分總會有盡頭啊，你總不可能要一直教下去吧」，還有「像我的健身教練也前陣子搬去花蓮了啊，他也把我的狀況交給另一個教練了」，然後又說「我們有個同仁也是離職把他的部分交給下個人了啊」。

我只能說這些好像不是說服別人的好方法。他應該要加強自己的拉力，然後協助減少我這邊的推力才對。結果變成他想告訴我「你現在這樣不對吧」的時候，就造成反效果了，不要對別人說教啦。

・・・

啊還有公司在面試前的資料表問說「能不能接受做超過自己職務的事」，「如果別人遇到困難你就算破費也會幫忙嗎」這種問題。非常神奇，不知道以前到底發生過什麼事讓他們寫了這些。也很想知道現在人事資料表還需要留著「籍貫」的意義是什麼。

adult topics

和伴侶討論的未來藍圖裡，包括著一起生活的住處，因此想開始慢慢看房子。日常生活很忙碌的兩人，這個月終於看了第一次。心得之一是：哇，真的好花時間啊⋯⋯。光是看距離沒有太遠的三個物件，就花了將近三個小時。然後我也遇到了傳說中的，房仲會預設男生為主要溝通人這件事了。前面聯繫約時間都是我跟 A 業務，當天他帶著一個學弟；結果那個學弟介紹完自己的名字，就很順手地把名片往伴侶的方向遞過去了。當下的心情真的是：「哇塞，真的被我遇到了欸」，看來發生的頻率應該不低吧。

業務要怎麼跟客戶互動應該也是有各種眉角吧，在他們說出某些話，嘗試打破某些應該保持的界線、想要透過某些話設立選邊的態度的時候，也會讓人在心裡偷偷扣分（哈）。

後來有一起看到一間我們都蠻喜歡的新物件，雖然各種條件真的都不錯，但一邊覺得太快了，考量到目前我們存的錢、加上職涯的一些規劃，還是決定先緩緩。那天問家母當時他們買房子是怎麼決定的，她說他們其實也沒有想太多，就是因為結婚了要買房子所以就買了。

上一個世代應該很多人都是這樣子吧，年紀到所以找人結婚，因為大家都有小孩所以生小孩。而現在的我們思考著「為何要結婚」還有「為何要生小孩」，也希望有更多人可以跟對於這兩個問題都有共識、有類似想法的人攜手相伴啊。

moments in june

• 有一天心血來潮翻了高中的週記，意外地促成跟導師還有同學的晚餐，真開心。我有一次寫說開始看英文新聞結果發現自己單字量還很少，老師竟然回我「還年輕！沒關係！」，看到真是笑出來哈。

• 這個月的書這邊看一點那邊看一點，唯一看完的是一本美國離婚律師把他各種案子整理後，分享一些關係中可以做的事，避免走到撕破臉且花大錢的那一步。最開始的其中一點就是「告訴對方你的感覺」，請現在就按下傳送鍵吧，對自己跟對方誠實一定是最好的。會認識這個律師是之前看到脆上有人翻譯他上 The Diary of a CEO 的片段，覺得這集很好聽，推薦。

• 把以前作文課的 vocabulary builder 撈了出來，嘗試一天背幾個單字，發現遠端上班的那週比較會失敗哈。

• 終於去上了黑熊學院基礎營，上完有感覺比較踏實安心。課堂裡突然要幫彼此打止血帶的緊急時刻真的是腺上激素大飆升，第一次知道腳的脈搏從哪摸。上完課之後買飲料的時候都會想說，哇如果有人失血這麼多可能會一級或二級休克了。希望大家平安。

• 去郭怡美書店聽講座之前，在度小月遇到兩個日本女生，說很喜歡台灣食物，問我有沒有推薦的。傳了一堆連結給他們，希望他們有吃飽喝足！

• 江鵝在講座說自己寫散文的順序是：
  被生活運動（99％）＞撞到頭＞「剛剛是怎樣？」＞寫下來

• 下次出刊一定要試著也一起寫英文！許願！

下半年即將來臨，夏天越來越近，我也逐漸更靠近自己了。
希望你也有美好的夏日。

reconnect with friends

前陣子在 Instagram Reels 看到有人分享自己離開學校後，和自己的朋友距離變遠了（物理層面加上聯絡頻率），於是發起了一個每週三用影片更新自己近況的活動。結果群組變得活絡，也和原本的朋友們重新接上線。大家更知道彼此生活的近況，發生了什麼有趣或是煩惱的事情。看完影片後，我也和大學好友們發起了每週視訊的活動，其中一位在外交部工作的同學甚至位於時差十二小時的國家外派中，一起每個週末喬一個時間視訊。

這個活動目前實行了三週，令人十分快樂。久違地更新一些生活的瑣碎小事，最近的煩惱，講講垃圾話，就像以前在學校碰面的閒聊一樣。如果你也有很久沒聯絡但希望可以更頻繁保持聯繫的朋友，歡迎試試看這個小活動，可能會帶來一些新的生活火花，或每週期待某些時刻的到來。

・・・

這個月還參加了大學好友的婚禮，因為他來自充滿好朋友的友系，所以也預期當天會遇見非常多的畢業後就沒見過的同學（也因此一直有點容貌焦慮哈）。難得在一場婚宴結束後沒有吃很飽的感覺，大家都因為久違相聚而在各個桌次之間找人聊天、更新近況、拍照、擁抱、握手。也跟一些原本只有聽過但終於見到的人認識、簡單交談；大家在婚禮結束後捨不得走，在外面又繼續聊了好久。或許這就是往後同學婚禮的樣貌吧，是個讓大家能夠聚在一起的場合。最後道別之後，雖然身體很疲倦，但心裡感覺暖暖的，覺得在這些連結之中又重新獲得了一些生活的能量。

・・・

之前上謝金蓉老師英文作文課的最後，認識了一直覺得很厲害的同學！最近約出來吃飯之後實在是聊得不亦樂乎，狂講了三四個小時。從小就跨區就讀的我，也終於有了住在家裡附近的朋友。身邊有價值觀雷同、可以在聊天之中獲得共鳴的朋友，像是擁有某種社會網絡的支持。在這個父權結構的社會下，能夠擁有一起對抗厭女的朋友們，是彌足珍貴的事。或許這也是我還沒離開 Threads 的原因，雖然有時候資訊紛亂、看得到很多令人傻眼的父權發言或是男性說教，但有更多的各路女子一直在上面為女性發聲、說明各種現象、或是聰明地罵人，讓人看了很爽快，也知道自己在這條路上並不孤單。

offline experience

這個月去參加了一場離線體驗活動，兩個小時中手機等電子裝置會統一被保管，你有無限的紙和寫字版，可以自由書寫或是閱讀。自由書寫可以是想到什麼寫什麼，或是根據你原本煩惱、想要解決的事情進而釐清自己的想法。在那兩個小時中，可以感受到自己的腦袋變得平靜，不像平常有其他螢幕、社群或是音樂的刺激。或許在這個資訊爆炸的現代社會，每個人都可以在日常中固定安排一個時間讓自己離線，試試看感覺怎麼樣，會不會有戒斷的感覺。

可能因為原本有寫日記的習慣（雖然最近寫得比較懶，常常在補寫哈），所以自由書寫的一小時體感過得很快。文字在筆下流動，寫了不同的思緒或是想做的事情，不知不覺時間就過去了；剩下的時間拿來看書也覺得很能專心。在離線的時刻，會更感受到自己整個人腦袋跟身體是很接近的，會比平常忙碌的狀態更靠近自己一些。期許之後可以固定安排日常的某個時段做離線的練習。

little practices in life

• 去年抱石完發現自己太習慣用右手之後，一直有在練習把日常一些動作換成左手做。最近有發現左手在做某些動作有逐漸變得靈活且熟練，會想繼續把更多動作換成左手練習看看。

• 前幾週終於點開之前買的線上瑜伽課，最近在家上班的時候中午會練習拜日式，覺得自己很棒。

• 近期也在練習當個活得更理所當然的女性，例如在人行道即將跟對面的人（尤其是男性）相會的時候，不因為對方壓迫到我這側而讓路。在大眾交通遇到男性開腿的時候，用手機、翹腳、書包或是直接請對方收好腿，減少自己感到不適又不能行動的狀態。唉但每次遇到都還是會很困惑，這些人都感覺不到自己已經碰到別人了嗎？

• 這幾週家教都以幾乎全英文進行，以前解釋一些事情還是會用華語。最近發現全英文的話學生能夠適應，也會更努力用英文跟我溝通。感受得到他們的腦袋在運轉的樣子，會有個努力思考並講出來的認真神情。最近感受得到其中一個學生心態上的成長，有把一些之前給他的建議聽進去並練習執行。這就是教學的成就感吧，好感動。

• 這個月和伴侶在一起七年了。還是很享受彼此或長或短的陪伴，以及日常的所有聊天。近期我們也在練習在其中一方工作極度高壓的狀態下，該如何相處才能讓彼此都感到被看見及被包容。很感謝身邊有這樣就算一整天心情很疲倦但一說到話就感到自在開心的存在。

other moments in may

• 因為參加婚禮的治裝，肌膚敏感且化妝小白的我去 Maqpro 免費試妝了兩次（礦物粉底跟眼影），體驗真的都超級好。化妝師會根據你的想像、需求去教各種單品的用法，也完全不會有必須要購買的壓力。如果對於任何化妝品的用法有疑問，非常推薦他們的試妝服務。

• 這個月參加了《看不見的國家》電影包場，在很多時刻泛淚，再看到一些人物又把眼淚收起來，然後看到香港反送中兩百萬人上街，馬路上的催淚彈、水炮車跟警察打民眾的影像，大爆哭。臺灣一路走來真的非常不容易，維護自由民主需要大家的共同努力。推薦這部電影給大家。

  

• 發現自己越來越不喜歡聽到「情緒價值」這個詞。以前我們會說「謝謝支持」、「你好貼心、好溫暖」、「感謝捧場和鼓勵」，但現在都變成「情緒價值」這個詞了。一直覺得這個詞好像剝奪掉了原本說話人的真心，像是講這些話只是為了換你的開心一樣。希望這些用詞可以重新活過來被大家使用啊。

• 這個月終於開始修改履歷（好難ＱＱ）跟瀏覽市場上的機會，希望可以繼續往前走，去試試看然後獲得成長跟成就感。加油啊啊啊。

• 黃麗群的 video podcast 本月釋出的集數也一樣很好聽。覺得很讚的部分像是「讓你不想當朋友或是同事的人，不要當親密關係的對象」、「不一定每個人都適合跟另一個人住在一起」、「幹嘛忍耐？你人生要忍耐的事情還不夠多嗎？你還要在親密關係裡面不斷地忍耐嗎？也不是說都不要忍，但我們盡量降低需要忍耐的場景，不要讓自己經常處在要忍耐的狀態裡，這是不健康的。」

• 之前減脂時諮詢的營養師們正在做夏季的活動，第一次諮詢免費。他們協助我減了大概七公斤的體脂，認識食物、學習打造一個更健康的身體，並應用到未來的生活。有興趣或是疑問都歡迎去找他們聊聊，如果對於過程有興趣，可由此前往我之前的紀錄。

• 這幾天在看蕭瑋萱的《成為怪物以前》，讀了大概一半，真是哇⋯⋯好精彩好好看⋯⋯。簡而言之，是一個跟氣味相關的犯罪小說。如果影視化應該會很好看吧！

端午節後夏季要正式來臨了啊，好熱⋯⋯。不知不覺今年要過一半了，或許接下來也會是充滿挑戰和新體驗的日子。

期許各位平安健康愉快地迎接即將到來的炎炎夏日，要做好防曬啊。

what’s life?

從去年開始一直對於自己不間斷地叩問，想挖出自己接下來到底該前往何方，或是該對於現狀繼續做哪些努力。而一邊找尋的同時也盡力在自己想延續的專案上時不時更新以及澆水，身體給的回應讓我更明確知道哪些事情我做起來是快樂的。

這個月約了江鵝的人類圖分析諮詢，聊完之後有種被理解、更了解自己跟身體，然後被賦予勇氣的感覺；有某種令靈魂振動的感動，不是大浪沖來的滂薄，而是不間斷的、穩定的海浪拍打聲。很感謝江鵝，也謝謝人類圖。

the courage of speaking out

這個月也有好一些鼓起勇氣發聲的練習。

起因應該是我十分喜愛的作家黃麗群開了 Youtube 頻道，主要是以回覆聽眾來信的 video podcast。其中有一段是關於該不該去探望因為外遇離婚且不顧原本家庭小孩的父親，她的下列回應我十分喜歡：

所有人都一定是受到了代價，他才會改變他的行為。如果你是一個不會給別人代價的人，別人就不會改變他對你的行為。

愚孝這個行為影響的不只是他自己的這個家庭，而是讓這個社會其他的人有一個感覺，是「我可以做一些剝削別人，或是沒有道理的事情」。比如說父母會對小孩 PUA，但事實上可以不用付出代價。「你看隔壁那家也沒有付出代價啊」。

整個社會都覺得長女應該要 carry 很多事情，而且把所有的財產留給孩子，但是長照都是長女在顧，一毛錢也沒有。如果這個長女不給父母一個代價的話，所有的人會看到「欸真的就是這樣欸，我就是可以這樣對女兒欸」

我鼓勵大家為你認為不公平的事情，讓那些對你不公的人付出代價。付出代價是讓整體，不是只有一個你自己家裡面的事情而已；那是讓周邊的人看到一些事情，看到說「我們是不能這樣對待別人的，因為這是有可能付出代價的。」

我真的是很不鼓勵浪子回頭的敘事啦，他掉頭的時候都沒有想到你，他回頭的時候你為什麼要想到他呢？

・・・

受到了鼓勵之後，開始決定要對一些事情努力發聲，不要忍耐。這個月的練習有：

1. 跟要站在大家旁邊抽菸的男性長輩說：「請你離大家遠一點抽菸，不要站在這裡」，在他反駁說他在家都可以的時候堅定自己的立場，跟他說「我們沒有人有義務聞你的二手菸」。講完之後整個身體都還是很生氣，但他的確移動了，很開心。

2. 跟坐在位子上開音量大聲到旁邊人會嚇一跳的男同事說「請你音量放低一點」，他開完會後有來跟我們說他戴降噪耳機沒發現，之後會注意。

3. 跟公車上大吃雞排的男性說，車上禁止飲食。

4. 轉傳罷免國民黨立委的相關狀態，並鼓起勇氣問之前的同事他們家簽了沒，獲得「全家都簽了」的正面回饋。

5. 鼓起勇氣問戶籍花蓮的同事簽二階連署了沒，結果同事以為已經過了，然後分享給他他家附近可以簽的罷免連署站點，成功拉到一張！

期許自己往後也能繼續擁有為了自己和女性發聲的勇氣。

netflix and books

• 這個月又點開了《戀愛大戰》，應該是我 2023 最喜歡的韓劇之一。非常喜歡能力超強的女主角美蘭，是個專業的律師，體能很好且擅長武打！男主角是台午演的（Past Lives 的男演員），被女主角的能力跟個性吸引，非常喜歡這種非一般異性戀男性保護女性的敘事。不過不知道是不是為了平衡，女主角的好朋友就是一個看到帥哥會立刻陷入的戀愛腦，十分反差哈哈。

• 電影《生命清單 The Life List》的女演員 Sofia Carson 是之前看《Purple Hearts》後開始追蹤的，唱歌也好好聽。電影劇情本身很好猜，但還是很喜歡。看的過程一直自言自語說「哇賽男主角也太帥了吧」哈哈哈。女主角因為媽媽留下的遺言進行了不同的嘗試跟挑戰，進而變成更像自己的自己。或許人生就是不停在體驗當中留下更適合自己的過程吧。也希望女主角媽媽提供的四個問題能夠幫大家篩選一些目前生命裡可能不值得留下的人。

1. 你可以跟他說你心裡的所有想法嗎？

2. 他善良嗎？

3. 他有讓你成為更好版本的自己嗎？

4. 你可以想像他當你小孩的家長嗎？

• 《父母的語言》講述了關於家庭跟家長對於小孩語言能力的影響，十分有趣。推薦給所有有想要小孩、準備有小孩、目前有小孩的朋友們。也順便推薦《過曝世代》，關於該如何面對、教育數位時代的孩子，該不該限制他們的使用時間等等。

• 終於看了《進烤箱的好日子》，好喜歡。整本行雲流水，像是在講述一個過程卻在不知不覺中講完一個故事，真是小說的技藝。希望賣出版權的後續也可以在當地市場大賣！

• 正在看《性、謊言、柏金包》，十分喜歡，推薦給所有女性。作者的前一本《我是一個媽媽，我需要柏金包！》也非常精彩。由衷期許這個世界的女性們可以活得更加自在快樂。

moments in april

• 這個月見了不少朋友，也因為對於罷免的關心跟一些朋友重新搭上線。發現自己也從擁有共同價值觀的朋友身上獲得許多能量，覺得感激。

• 一直都知道自己皮膚蠻敏感，平常不太上妝。上禮拜去試了 MIT 的礦物粉底，覺得皮膚呼吸得很好，很開心！

• 麥味登的湯種系列真的蠻好吃的，生菜份量很多，喜歡搭配原塊雞肉組合，當成重訓日的早餐都會很開心。

• 這個月脊椎側彎的物理治療，透過呼吸努力把右邊的肋骨推出來了，真是太神奇了，感謝治療師，也感謝我的身體。

• 在 iPad 上寫字、跟用軟筆在筆記本上寫字的時候，還是能感受到心流以及專注的快樂，果然寫字還是一件自己很喜歡的事情。

二階罷免連署進入尾聲了，如果還沒簽的朋友歡迎查詢 bafu。感謝所有付出的志工們，為了愛、為了臺灣而行動的所有人。

所以最後終於想到了比較說得清楚的一件事：hashtag 裡的「筆桿」不是我的。筆桿是你的。我的一切寫作，終將落入漫長人類時間的大消化之中，不會有什麼意義，但是，請你去連署，握一支真的筆，端正寫姓名，那就是五行星轉，那就是中央山脈，當中必有震動的巨靈。巨靈天地聚嘯，大罷免，大成功，我們台灣人從不停止昂然的勇行。— 黃麗群

臺灣加油，臺灣人加油。

我想，這是為了感謝臺灣給我的愛吧。

三月八號是國際婦女節，是個紀念婦女權利的節日。但這個三月也持續有許多性別相關的議題發酵著，不斷提醒大家，這個世界還有很多地方可以進步。

the path that brought me here

第一次接觸到性別相關的議題應該是在大四修了陳東升教授的社會學甲（好課推推推推推），開始矇矇懂懂有個印象。想起以前國高中也會因為一些身邊男生說的話或評論、看似無心開的笑話感到不適，但總是無法明說出原因。

真正迎來我的 aha moment 是在芬蘭交換的時候，那門課是關於「當代美國電影中的性別敘事」，老師一開始就說明自己雖然是生理男性，但也是個女性主義者（延伸閱讀：《我是男生，也是女性主義者》），並表示這並沒有什麼衝突。

課程中以大量的好萊塢電影為例，包括被描寫得扁平的女性、對於推進故事幫助單一的角色等。最讓我感到震驚的應該是，原來有這麼多故事都是以「英雄救美」為結尾；就像是廣受歡迎的《樂來樂愛你 La La Land》一樣。老師那時候問全班說：「為什麼不能是女主角自己振作起來呢？非得要安排一個男生去當這個推一把的角色嗎？」在這堂課後我的眼睛被打開，開始看得見以前視而不見或是無法言說的不適。（所以《后翼棄兵 The Queen's Gambit》在看女主角一蹶不振的時候，我超害怕編劇安排一個男的來拯救她，幸好不是，快樂地看完了耶。）

另外一本讓我跟伴侶都更了解父權體制及其壓迫的書是《性別打結：拆除父權違建》。書中將這個結構說明地非常清楚，並解釋為何這個結構其實對於每個人都沒有好處。漸漸地我把嫁跟娶改口成結婚、開始不喜歡婚禮中爸爸把女兒交給新郎的儀式（女兒不是無行為能力的物品耶）、開始不使用厭女的罵人詞彙（如三寶、綠茶等）、開始發現家族年節期間在廚房的都是女性、漸漸不喜歡有可能加強性別刻板印象的寶寶性別派對、開始支持更多的女性，包括運動員、歌手、作家⋯⋯等。很喜歡看見有如此多的女性在不同的領域發光，也能讓更多的女孩們知道，你有機會成為任何你想成為的樣子。

期盼未來的女性們可以對自己擁有更多的自信，不會被身邊的親人或是朋友評論身材或是外表，不會被要求女生要有女生的樣子；可以遇到最少的男性說教、男性開腿或是考考男們、成長的過程中無任何騷擾的經驗。然後相信自己不管怎麼樣都值得被愛，不需要有人來拯救你，不需要有某個對的人才會完整，光是你的存在就是最棒的一件事。

希望未來的台灣有一天有機會能讓婚育脫鉤，單身女性可以生屬於自己的孩子，凍卵的女性也不需要伴侶同意才能使用。希望女性們可以遵循自我意志使用自己的子宮，催生、或甚至是被要求要生男孩的事情可以逐漸消失，還有代孕機制也消失，實在好希望《使女的故事》永遠只是虛構小說。

imagine different kinds of lifestyle

《兩個女人住一起：非關愛情的同居時代》，金荷娜、黃善宇

前陣子看了這本書，好喜歡！他們是首爾兩個獨居了超過 20 年的女子，因為工作認識，進而變成好友。書中以各自的視角描述這段從變成好友、開始有同居想法、找房子失敗後又重新尋找、入住後磨合生活習慣的過程。兩個人各自帶著兩隻貓入住，一個擁有四隻貓的家庭，一個人善於收納一個人善於購物、一個人很會煮飯一個人很懂得品嚐，在互相磨合挑選要留下來的傢俱的同時，也一起建立適合的生活習慣，逐漸變成並沒有血緣跟法律關係的家人。

看這本書的同時也會思考各種未來的居住可能性，除了跟伴侶住在一起之外，是不是也有機會跟朋友一起住呢？大家各自擁有自己的空間，也能在每個人都喜愛的共同空間內共食、一起看比賽或是看劇。想想也是令人嚮往的一種生活方式。

penny tai in taipei

上週末去聽了戴佩妮的演唱會。覺得自己不算是非常死忠的歌迷，算是聽過大部分的主打歌，也知道佛跳牆很厲害的程度。在某一集台灣通勤第一品牌的 podcast，主持人家倫在最後的推歌環節推薦了〈單身潛逃〉，在那之後成為好一陣子的循環播放單曲。2022 推出專輯《被動的觀眾》，整張也是輪播不停，最喜歡的是〈鬧劇〉。

這次辦在小巨蛋的演唱會，舞台有一個大型的圓圈造型會隨著歌曲旋轉，加上燈光設計，在無數的時刻內心總有「哇也太漂亮了吧」的驚嘆。整場聽下來並沒有每首都會，但聽得出戴佩妮演唱的細膩，三個小時下來毫無冷場，充滿著「啊還是要聽現場啊」，還有「可以存在在這一瞬間真好」的心情。

以前並沒有聽過〈右臉〉，但這次聽著聽著不知道為什麼眼淚就流下來了。安可時唱的〈淡水河邊〉也好喜歡，希望以後都有機會在 KTV 唱它們。

看著 Penny 唱歌還有台下觀眾的樣子，一直冒出「生命影響生命」這句話，或許這就是生命在某些時刻交會時產生出的美好樣子吧。

trip in croatia

歡迎閱讀：克羅埃西亞13天12夜自駕行

在半年後（加上擁有了 ipad 之後），終於！把克羅埃西亞自駕出遊的細節寫完了。主要想記錄下來的緣由是，自己在找資料做功課的時候也很希望可以有更詳細的分享，尤其是當初猶豫要不要自駕也是想了蠻久的，總之希望這篇對於之後想前往的朋友們可以有點幫助。算是把主要的旅程資訊跟行程紀錄在此篇，希望後續可以把各個城市的也獨立寫成篇，畢竟相簿裡也有很多美麗的照片。

recent life

1. 櫻花開始滿開了，看到的時候都會忍不住駐足多看幾眼。感謝美麗的綻放帶給大家的愉快心情。
   

2. 前幾週去順流吃了甜點，只能說真是太驚人了。藍莓塔清爽酸甜不膩口，塔皮酥脆好斷口，達到某種完美平衡。貼面巧克力可頌應該可以列為人生目前最好吃之一，可頌麵包體酥脆卻不乾，兩種巧克力濃郁在口中味道豐富，吃完還會回想覺得天哪我到底吃了什麼。甜甜圈麵包體含水量好高，充滿彈性又有嚼勁，巧克力跟卡士達讓口味變得豐富但又不膩口。只能說 Joyce 真是太厲害了，希望以後也還有很多機會吃到（手速也要很快才行）。
   

3. 上週跟大學同學一起回學校附近吃飯散步，有種被青春感襲擊的感覺（笑）。想說以前在校的時候大家有看起來如此稚嫩嗎？可能是有。也再次感受到當時的自己模模糊糊在追求的自己，好像過了這些年之後又變得更清晰一些了。雖然現在跟當時一樣也會對他人感到羨慕，擁有生活跟人生的煩惱，但也默默成長了很多，也變得比以前更喜歡自己了。過了這些年，還是能夠擁有可以暢談的朋友們，由衷感到幸運且無比珍惜。

4. 全臺罷免國民黨立委進入第二階段，時間限制很短且要收到 10% 選舉人的連署份數，各區都需要大家的參與，請大家共同響應！如果不知道自己是哪區歡迎這裡查，想知道各區進度跟連署的位置這裡看。

5. 沒想到 2025 第一季即將迎來尾聲，今年冷蠻久的令人愉悅，不用那麼早開始在街上狂流猛流汗，可以穿冬衣久一點。

希望季節交替的期間都身體健康，生活中有很多令人愉快的小事。

Wish you happiness and health in the Year of Snake.

元宵節過後，這個農曆新年的氛圍算是正式結束了吧。

那天在社群上看到有人分享說「過年就是個看似放假時間很長但個人時間極短的假期」，真是蠻同意的。

爸媽都有不少兄弟姐妹，算是不小的家族。這次過年又再次體認到自己算是中間的孩子這件事。因為是獨生加上跟其他堂表兄弟姐妹都有些年齡差距，在團聚的日子裡我總是跟著父母行動比較多。這次又仔細跟著老爸跑了一次過年的各種拜拜流程：年前送神、除夕初一拜祖先、初五接神、初七人生日、初九天公生。加上早晚在家裡的神明廳燒香，這樣生活的規律讓人感覺踏實。澎湖冬天真的風很大，幸好後來家裡添購了一台橢圓機放在客廳，剛好可以邊看電視邊踩，在吃很多的節慶期間加減消耗一些熱量哈。

趁著年假前一週遠端上班先回鄉，隨著日子推進看到家家戶戶把春聯貼起來，也一邊感覺到「哇真的要過年了啊」的喜慶感。

這次也聽到了鄉里間的各種故事：

1. 以前的家庭如果一直沒辦法順利生小孩，有時候會從別人家抱一個女兒來養，接下來生子運就會比較順遂。附近其中一家就是這樣，而這個大姐在媽媽過世之後，突然跟爸爸說家裡除了其中某幾個之外，其他弟妹都是媽媽跟別人生的（但其實應該不是）。爸爸聽了之後大為震怒，所以不讓媽媽的牌位放在家裡，只能放在靈骨塔。兄弟姐妹在清明節掃墓時就必須要全部人去塔裡祭拜媽媽，而大姐放話完之後就出嫁到其他鄉里了。

2. 附近一對夫妻平常都客客氣氣地跟大家打招呼，結果在蓋自己的房子的過程各種對工班脾氣差還有欠款，導致案子蓋超久，臭名遠播。馬路拓寬的時候堅持不領補助金拆掉圍牆，不給裝路燈，後來還告政府，最後政府補助拆掉整家的錢才把馬路拓寬成功。叫親戚把印鑑寄回來辦土地過戶結果都過給自己。把自己的老家拆掉後，把碎水泥石塊堆在門口，讓姪子不好出入沒有辦法進去住，還一度故意斷水斷電。他姊姊看不下去去他家按電鈴想跟他溝通，他堅持不出來還打電話叫警察說自己生命受到威脅。

3. 某個 A 伯的老婆在婚姻關係中跟 B 伯在一起，結果 B 伯給了 A 伯十萬塊之後 A 就跟老婆辦離婚了。前妻跟小孩走了之後又跟一個年輕的女生在一起，結果十萬塊一下就被騙光了。

4. 有個伯伯每天都會固定去港邊的消波塊上大便，據說他要這樣才大得出來。中午看到他騎車經過阿媽都會說：「啊ＯＯ又要去大便了。」（鄉里皆知的行程）

只能說人生故事真的比戲劇還精彩哈。

・・・

因為受到高中同學回家學台語並創立芋圓台語字典的啟發，今年也希望可以開始學澎湖腔的台語。這次回家也在大家聊天的時候錄音，應該會對於之後的學習有些幫助吧。目前還是聽的部分比較沒問題，大概聽得懂六到八成，不過說的部分就要繼續加油了。書展期間也在讀字公民的攤位買到台羅跟台語文法書，期待之後也能夠派上用場。

Hyread 與閱讀器

過年期間先用手機看 Hyread 上借的電子書，完食了胡慕情的《一位女性殺人犯的素描》以及 Michael McDowell 的《黑水奇譚》。可以在手機上看書真的會讓閱讀速度再快一些，在捷運上不方便拿實體書出來的時候也能看書。但看到後來真的覺得眼睛很累，所以決定購入閱讀器！

• 《一位女性殺人犯的素描》，胡慕情
  一開始是因為麗群在書展的講座才開始看。書中顯現了人類的複雜性，從無法確認真實性的自傳故事，到媒體選擇的敘事，也展現出非虛構寫作的挑戰。前半段看著作者跟林于如溝通的過程，真是太不容易了。自傳以及旁人給出的資訊，又跟媒體幫她下的標題有所出入。我想作者也沒有想要給大家什麼答案，就像麗群在講座說的：「就是學習到世界上很多事情不會懂，就是 I don’t know，不是 I dot car。」
  

• 《黑水奇譚》，Michael McDowell
  在脆上看到推薦文進而開始閱讀，十分喜歡。包含奇幻跟怪物的元素，主體上是個大家族的故事，每個人的個性鮮明，彼此的權力關係跟角力也十分精彩。到最後會有點捨不得看完，感謝這本小說帶來的宇宙。

先前看了一些關於閱讀器的分享，因為還是常用圖書館的借書服務，所以選了開放式的 Hyread。為了攜帶方便選擇最小的 6 寸 Gaze Mini。至今入手約三週，覺得體驗非常好。兩邊都有翻頁按鈕，讓不管左手或是右手拿都可以簡單翻頁。在較擁擠得捷運上或是被窩裡也可以輕鬆看書，讓進度不知不覺加快許多。

不過電子書缺少的還是實體書的空間感，要回到某一個段落重看某一個部分的話，不能像實體書快速翻動頁面，要點選翻頁很多次找尋。這就是內容載體的差異吧，但整體來說使用起來還是十分快樂！

・・・

這次書展去聽了幾場講座，成功給麗群簽到書了，真是心臟蹦蹦跳。書展期間前後去晃了好幾天，最後添購了幾本漫畫、還有不少英文書（真是快樂）。先前在書展基金會上班的時候，因為疫情的緣故最後實體展覽都取消了，只能說那時候真的寫了很多信，打了很多電話，也加了很多班啊。也或許我還是更適合當個參加展覽的民眾吧（但沒有對照還是不太準哈）。

書展期間還遇到以前大學辦活動的學妹，她跟我說她有在看我的電子報，真是太感謝了。能收到實體的回饋，確定這些信都有抵達某處，覺得十分感激。

近期小記

• 去大巨蛋看了台韓交流賽，入手 Team Taiwan 毛巾十分快樂！哇第一次現場看球，氛圍真是太喜歡了，還看到滿貫全壘打，好精彩！

• 今年有很多想做的事，介於偶爾很有動力，偶爾也很懶散的能量流動中。

• 本來想跟上過年的甄嬛馬拉松，結果現在進度才到第十一集，超慢哈哈。

• 過年完進辦公室回健身房運動，哇太久沒練結束後下樓梯腳軟一波。不過深蹲終於進步到可以蹲八成體重了，持續加油！

• Blvd of Gold 在新光 A11 的實體櫃只營業到二月底，趁著新年福袋優惠入手了好幾件褲子跟運動內衣，開心！台灣製的衣物品質真的很好，是我的運動良伴之一。

• 情人節伴侶成功訂到順流的巧克力 Flan，哇也太好吃了吧⋯⋯那個口感之豐富，巧克力內餡的層次真是太了不起了。

• 生日當天請了特休，吃了早午餐之後重訓（還因為壽星當日免費），之後在咖啡廳寫電子報跟閱讀，感受到平日休假的餘裕了，真好。

願你的蛇年也平安順遂，有許多快樂的時光，並時常感到滿足。

年末的氛圍總讓人開始回顧過去的一年。捫心自問年初做的計畫有達成嗎？相比於前一年的自己有沒有更進步一些？接下來的一年還有什麼想做的事嗎？

concerts that I love in 2024

2024 完成了許多一直以來的演唱會清單，十分快樂，整理出最想紀錄下來的幾場：

1. Jooyoung 주영

   

   從《Fountain》這張 EP 開始認識後就超級喜歡。都還記得把有線耳機穿過連帽外套，再把拉鍊拉起來一邊按下播放鈕的天氣。他後來陸續發了一些單曲，也跟 Heize 合作了好幾首歌（都好好聽喔十分喜愛）。終於在今年看到現場演出了。

   場地不大人不算多，整場都非常非常享受。他把兩張專輯的歌都唱了。在唱到最喜歡的〈Wine〉的「Girl you’d better realize」的時候，還比著我看我的鏡頭（真是要昏倒）。沒想到他結束後還留下來跟歌迷簽名合照，把票根拿給他簽的時候我跟他說，很謝謝他來台灣，還有謝謝他做的音樂。他用無比真摯的眼神看著我的眼睛說「我更感謝」，啊真是太好了吧啊啊啊（再次爆擊）。只可惜沒能在台灣場買到黑膠。

   
   是會想再看一次（或很多次）的演出，十分快樂及感激。
   
   

2. Dasutt 다섯

   

   之前還在北國交換的時候常在冬日聽著他們的〈Photograph〉，那年寒假去 Lapland 玩的時候，常在零下 15 度雪地中的小木屋唱著「Still I don’t know why～」。

   現場感染力十足，編曲跟樂器的聲音都超級讚，主唱 talking 很詞窮超級可愛哈哈，最常說「希望大家玩得開心」跟「希望大家有享受」。然後聽到〈Photograph〉的時候眼淚狂流，是乘載著回憶的歌啊。
   
   

3. WHEE IN THE MOOD BEYOND: ENCORE

   丁輝人 solo 演唱會安可場@高雄

   

   從 2018 開始入坑 MAMAMOO，最愛的一直是丁輝人。2024 二月去了首爾看小輝第一次的個人演唱會，影像跟音樂編排都能看出她的細膩及美感。她在亞洲、歐洲跟美國巡迴完後，七月回到首爾開安可場。本來有點被燒到想再去一次，後來還是理性決定放棄。沒有想過能後來在台灣看到安可場（真心感謝希林），場地換成更大的高流，加上 live band 整個體驗升級。小輝兩天都狀況都好好，真是視覺加上聽覺的享受啊。

   
   一開場氣勢磅礴的樂團版〈watercolor〉真的快要哭出來，太喜歡了。〈Easy〉跟〈Trash〉的貝斯也是有夠好聽。希望以後可以有更多媽木跟 live band 的演出可以看。謝謝表演帶來的能量跟快樂，是感到美好的時刻啊。
   
   2024 開始也有大量的追星人也一起參與政治活動，大家陸續了解到沒有「追星歸追星，政治歸政治」這種事（加上大家在各國看演唱會遇到中國粉絲的慘痛經驗）。2023 疫情後媽木睽違已久來台開唱，卻遇到大量的黃牛亂象，因此木木們（媽木粉絲名）組成了「屠牛小分隊」後開始推動修法，陸續有更多演唱會採用實名制，也對於黃牛有更嚴格的罰則。雖然當時因為生活忙碌並沒有加入一同討論，但能因為想改變現有的狀況因而動身嘗試做些改變，這些就是追星人的行動力展現啊。

   
   ・・・
   
   2024 這年身邊有幾位朋友在追星的幫助下大幅改善了身心狀態，整個人快樂許多，看著他們透過追星感受愛與被愛，以及被點亮的樣子，覺得真是太好了。在追媽木的過程也看過一些木木分享，是媽木帶著他們走過人生的低潮。十分感謝這些站在鏡頭前，帶給人們力量的歌手們。
   
   

4. 鶴 The Crane

   

   去年買不到票今年終於進場了！編排跟影像精準細膩，好幾首未公開曲也好好聽，期待〈Igloo〉的發行。現場的即興各種精彩，樂手的表演也是讓人享受。希望明年也可以順利進場，是場結束後令人滿足且快樂的演出啊。

   哇不過觀眾平均身高好高，站在後面經常只能找縫隙才能看到頭哈哈。
   
   

5. DEAN with Tabber Live in Taipei

   

   在聽的當下時不時冒出的心情是「啊我也是聽過 DEAN 現場的人了啊🥹」。

   從〈What 2 Do〉跟〈풀어〉開始聽（入坑），一直一直很喜歡 DEAN 的嗓音。中間好一段時間沒有他的消息，直到去年的〈Die 4 You〉，完全就是非常適合冬天的歌啊，跟今年發行的〈NASA〉一樣。

   從〈Chi-Ka〉才開始認識 Tabber，這首真的好好聽喔是很努力把歌詞學起來到可以唱出來的程度，現場的兩人真是太有魅力了啊啊，回家後一直複習各種片段，希望還有下次可以跟著唱更多首歌。

   演唱會中後方的影像都跟音樂搭配得非常好，不過因為在很後面看得不太完全，透過其他觀眾的錄影感覺得出來規劃的細膩和美感。雖然主辦動線真的糟到像第一次辦活動，但可以看到兩位真是萬分感恩。可以親耳聽見真是太好了。
   

2024 看了好多列在人生清單的表演（例如 XG、Bruno Mars 跟 Dua Lipa），也因此去了高雄三次，演唱會經濟真是不容小覷。高流真是音場很讚的場地，碼頭的地景有種國際都市的感覺。總而言之充滿演出的一年十分快樂，謝謝音樂，謝謝演唱會。期待往後還有機會可以在台灣看到 The 1975，上次取消真是太傷心了嗚。

try to maintain a healthy lifestyle

去年六七月從營養師那邊結束維持期，正式畢業。因此 2024 也在學習好好維持健康的飲食習慣，努力維持減脂後的體態，一邊看能不能增肌一些。

體態真是各種習慣不斷堆疊而成的結果。如果前一天吃的比較鹹，隔天起床就可以透過鏡子跟體重體脂看到水腫的自己（哈）；某一陣子吃比較多甜食的話，小腹就會慢慢長出來；旅遊結束後如果有回歸平常的生活習慣，體重體脂也會慢慢回到原本的狀態；睡得比較不好或是壓力比較大的時候，要減脂就都會比平常困難很多；某一陣子覺得自己有運動就默默吃比較多的話，體重也還是會逐漸往上爬。

總之認真體會到身體就是需要持續維持好習慣，狀態才能保持下去。現在經過課程的訓練，可以在外食的時候也找得到能吃得乾淨的選擇，會記得在大餐前先補充蔬菜避免吃的量不足，假日跟出國會記得把水量喝足，蔬菜水果補充夠。2025 也要持續努力。

2024 也開始脊椎側彎的物理治療，覺得是件非常神奇的事情（雖然自費真是不便宜，但真的有效），身體真是一部十分精密的機器。每次物理治療師跟我說你的骨盆、腳或是肩膀再往哪邊移動一點點，真的就只有移動一點點，然後他就說對沒錯，現在這樣很好，保持喔。這種時候都會覺得身體好酷，我根本不太知道到底差在哪裡，但我做對了哈。原本以為有重訓跟瑜伽的自己身體感受度應該算不錯了，但開始物理治療後發現還有更多可以觀察的地方。近期慢慢找到脊椎中立的、身體感到舒適的狀態，也是某種新發現，持續加油。

relationships and gender views

2024 也是在關係裡有所成長的一年。進入關係的這幾年間我跟伴侶都逐漸能夠更迅速地辨認跟察覺自己現在的狀態及情緒，進而闡述自己的想法，並且提出可以改變的方法或是其他更好的應對方式。原本在家庭裡的我是比較沒有辦法表達並且反對其他人的想法的，但經過這些年的練習之後，在年尾開始有所突破，覺得自己很棒。

從大四上了社會學、到交換時修的「電影中的性別觀點」後，越來越能夠辨認原本習以為常的事情可以改善之處。從同婚通過後這些年，可以感受到社會逐漸在往前的樣子，但還是持續希望可以把一些陋習去除，例如不要再用厭女的詞彙罵人、婚禮不要有爸爸把女兒交給新郎的環節、性別派對不要用男生藍色女生粉色、是結婚不是嫁跟娶、女生不用因為結婚就變成某某太太⋯⋯等等。

時常覺得幸運身邊有個會一起罵父權社會的伴侶，讓我在這個覺醒的路上並不孤單。

words matter

2024 另一個體悟是言語的力量。
起因是一位朋友說好一陣子以前聽了我平常安排行程的方式後，讓她了解原來可以把自己擺在別人前面，把自己想做的事情先排進去之後，再跟別人說剩下哪些時段。這讓她開始考慮自己多一點，進而照顧自己多一些。社群上的文字也能留下影響力，像是我因為物理治療師的分享而開始物理治療，有些人因為陌生人的文字開始對某些議題有不同的認識，或是種下一顆待發芽的種子。
這也讓我更注意自己的發言，不論是當面的或是網路上的。畢竟言語是很有力量的啊，希望世界上的惡意評論可以越來越少。

thank you 2024 and hello 2025

在 2024 做了不少想嘗試的、想挑戰的事情，雖然生活並不是完美沒有煩惱，但還是很喜歡成長中的自己。希望 2025 也保持平安健康，持續成長，並在生活中有很多感到快樂滿足的時光。

歡迎直接回信給我或是留言分享你的 2024，新年快樂！

冬季的氣溫終於在十一月的尾聲露臉，乾冷又有陽光的天氣真是令人感到幸福。體感上十一月好像總是過得特別漫長，換季的月份加上陰雨的濕冷，讓人感覺停滯。再次感謝露臉的陽光以及剛剛好的濕度。

HERO! HITO! 冠軍 Team Taiwan!

近期最令人振奮的應該是臺灣拿下 2024 世界棒球 12 強賽的冠軍！距離比賽已經過了一週，但還是在社群河道上不斷滑著每個球迷的心得、比賽的片段、球員的賽前賽後訪問，逐漸了解每個人的名字以及各個位置在比賽中扮演的角色。

一直以來都不算棒球迷，但這次也在幾場比賽開打時打開家裡的愛爾達，跟現場的觀眾一同屏息，等待投手投出球的那一刻。在社群上看著日本人也學會臺灣的應援曲，聽著臺灣球迷在東京巨蛋唱〈台灣尚勇〉並逐漸習得旋律跟口號。冠軍賽當天因為太緊張中途關掉了幾次電視，在家正打出全壘打後，伴侶傳訊來說「快打開電視！」，再過不久全家人一起看到傑憲揮出那支三分全壘打，大家一起在客廳吶喊又叫又跳的。

偶爾也還是感覺不真實，哇我們真的得到冠軍了啊。這份快樂跟澎湃延續跟凝聚了好多人，明年應該會有更多人進球場看球吧。而我們是否也能逐漸在這個過程中找回自己國家的名字呢？真期待能有親眼看見的那天啊，我們不再需要使用 Chinese Taipei 參賽的那天。

而找回我自己名字的契機是當交換學生。剛抵達的時候，還用著小時候取的英文名字。開學那週組員拿著班級名單問我：「你是哪一個？」，上面是寫著我原本的護照名字，在那個瞬間我決定用回我自己的名字，不管外國人能不能正確唸出來，我就是叫這個名字啊。

算命與《假仙女》

十一月中去聽了顏訥的新書座談會，與談嘉賓是我十分喜愛的作家江鵝。平時顏訥是 podcast 《違章女生》裡面那個妙語如珠的客座主持人，偶爾能聽見她的焦慮或是糾結，還有聽她用幽默的方式面對生活的大小事。這次的座談會聽到兩位分享了一些關於算命的心得：江鵝說自己是脾氣很差的人，如果算出自己很好她會質疑，算出不好的結果反而會覺得我才沒那麼差，而在這個過程中能夠發現自己其實是很有力量的，也能夠因此獲得一些驅動力。

或許因為知道自己是容易被影響的人，一直以來都沒有去算過命（頂多找工作的時候去拜拜擲筊跟抽籤）。本來以為這是一個偏向被動接收的活動，沒想到可以這樣化被動為主動，真是非常有趣。而顏訥也提到在算命的當下，有個人全心全意在解讀你這個人；而這樣純粹的理解的體驗，會在你離去算命館的當下歸零，剩下的就是回歸日常跟你自己。這樣的經驗讓我想起去瑜珈教室上課的時候：在墊子上活動、專注於呼吸、身體的一舉一動，最後大休息放鬆，換完衣服，穿上鞋子踏出門口後，又再次回到日常的規律以及通勤的生活中。

最後江鵝問顏訥說，如果你有個女兒要去算命，你會跟他說什麼？而她也在顏訥回答完之後說明為何要這樣問：「其實那個問題是為了讓你可以對自己講那個答案，因為人對自己有時候會不夠慷慨，或不夠決斷、不夠有決心。但對著女兒通常就可以給出最慷慨、最有決心的建言。」聽完的當下我應該也跟大家一起閉氣了一下子，覺得眼淚差點要流出來了（江鵝說話聲音又如此溫柔）。顏訥直接說：「我覺得我的龍蝦要裂開了（龍蝦的部分歡迎購書尋找相關章節）」。謝謝顏訥的新書，看到最後一篇也是快要流眼淚。

故事/影像紀錄

• She Said 她有話要說

  • 十一月看了不少女性相關的電視電影，最喜歡的是《She Said 她有話要說》。看完當下的心情是「I love women」（心情激動）！這部電影是關於當時兩位紐約時報記者揭露好萊塢知名製作人黑歷史（進而推動 #metoo 運動），從開始調查、採訪到最後發佈報導的過程（改編自同名書籍）。

  • 看的當下一同感到氣憤和心疼，人一時的私慾可能造成其他人一輩子的創傷。很開心在電影裡看見兩位記者身邊擁有支持他們的伴侶以及主管們，讓他們能夠好好把這樣的故事揭發出來，避免有更多人受害。

  • 十分喜愛在各式各樣作品中看見女性呈現專業的面向，電影中同時也點出生產對於女性帶來的影響。看著美麗的凱莉墨里根 Carey Mulligan，覺得女人年齡漸長的樣子真是太美麗了。

• 群山之島之不去會死的他們
  ISLAND OF MOUNTAINS : BELIEVE IT OR NOT. THIS IS TAIWAN!!!

  • 公視拍的《群山之島》已經來到第二季，並在今年金鐘獎獲得三項大獎。前陣子剛把第一季看完，真是好感動。看到張元植帶著媽媽一同上山，讓我知道其實年齡不是問題；普魯圖帶領大家的入山跟謝山儀式，他請大家謝謝願意來到這裡的自己，才有機會看到這些美景；郭熊對於森林中生物們的熱愛，看見生命的純粹；還有所有的大景，路上的風景或是攝影團隊的捕捉。

  • 謝謝團隊們把台灣的美麗帶給大家，期待明年可以開始認識這些還沒踏過的風景，拓展屬於我自己台灣地圖。

來到 2024 的最後一個月，是充滿節慶氣氛及聚會的季節啊。翻開年初寫下的新年新希望，看來是達成了不少，果然有寫下來是有點幫助的吧。

近期身邊陸續有親友因為健康檢查提早發現身體的一些狀況，呼籲大家要記得定期做健檢，健康是最重要的了。

祝佳節愉快！