Zuri was deep in the digital trenches of single motherhood, trying to balance raising a 5-year-old on the autism spectrum named Jonathan while her bills were coming in hotter than a viral TikTok trend. Her bank account balance was giving major "please insert quarter" energy, and the collection agencies were speed-dialing her line like it was their full-time job.

One night, while mindlessly doom-scrolling on Threads, Zuri stopped dead in her tracks. A post popped onto her screen that hit her harder than a cold plunge: "Stop praying vague prayers and wondering why heaven is lagging. Get specific."

Zuri paused, mentally face-palming. Up until now, her prayers had just been a tired, blanket statement: "Lord, just fix my finances. Help me out." She realized that if she kept throwing generic requests up to the sky, God might drop a pack of ramen from heaven and call it a day. She needed to be sniper-rifle specific.

So Zuri went straight to the Throne Room and rebooted her request, locking in on total debt freedom, it’s giving Jeremiah 33:3 status: "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." She needed heaven to pull up with an armored truck, and fast.

After weeks of avoiding the metal box at the end of her apartment complex, not expecting a single thing except eviction warnings and junk mail, Zuri finally decided to brave it and check her mailbox. She flipped through the envelopes, expecting more junk mail and bills. Instead, she pulls out a flimsy piece of paper: a check for $51.41 from a class action settlement Zuri never remembers being a part of.

Now, anyone else with a brain and a stack of past-due notices would’ve thrown hands with the postal service. That amount didn’t even cover her Wi-Fi, let alone student loans or Jonathan’s therapy co-pays. It was giving "pocket lint and broken dreams." But Zuri was too humble for a toddler tantrum. She looked at that check, remembered 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (“Give thanks in all circumstances”), and thanked the Lord anyway, whispering, "All right, God, I see You testing my algorithm, but I trust the process. Even if this math is completely not mathing."

Fast forward a couple of days. Zuri was just chilling at the local laundromat, fully minding her business, rocking a black “God Got Me” tee. Her clothes were spinning in the wash while she sat back with her copy of Lola Jaye's novel Attic Child, completely absorbed in the gripping story amidst the rhythmic hum of the dryers.

Suddenly, a woman named Shannon approached Zuri. Shannon looked more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. She was shaking, clutching a laundry card like it was the nuclear launch codes. Honestly, Shannon had been wrestling hard with the amount God put on her heart; doubting if it made sense, questioning if it was too high. But God had reminded her right then and there about her obedience. Shannon realized her comfort zone wasn’t the priority; a soul’s blessing was. Stepping out in that faith became a major testament to Shannon’s own spiritual growth.

By absolute coincidence (or rather, divine orchestration) Sr., Jonathan’s dad, happened to be there too, posted up nearby and witnessing the whole thing unfold. Talk about God having a hilarious sense of humor and putting the right side-characters in the room to watch His cinematic masterpiece play out.

Shannon stammers out to Zuri, "Look, I am so sorry to bother you, but the Lord kept buzzing my spirit. He told me to load this laundry card, and I asked Him who it was for. He literally pointed right at you across the room. This is yours."

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Zuri’s spiritual antennas popped up faster than an emergency Amber Alert. While God is fiercely protective of her (and usually moves quietly behind the scenes without needing human couriers) Zuri knew deep in her spirit that Shannon had been hand-delivered straight to her by heaven itself, with Sr. sitting right there as an accidental VIP spectator to a miracle.

She took the card, prayed a quick, powerful hyper-speed prayer with the shaken sister, exchanged numbers, and watched Shannon scurry off like she had just dropped a hot potato. Zuri stood there holding the card, completely baffled. She looked down at her own purse where her already-loaded laundry card was sitting, fully prepped for this exact load of wash. “Lord,” Zuri prayed internally, "respectfully... why didn’t You send her five minutes ago before I used my own hard-earned funds to load my card? You lagging, Bestie."

Zuri wasn’t ungrateful; she just wanted clarity. Proverbs 3:5-6 says not to lean on your own understanding, so Zuri decided to test the new card instead of her old one to dry her clothes, just to see what was up. She taps the dryer terminal. The screen lights up with the balance: $50.00. Zuri’s brain instantly did a cinematic double-take. The check a couple of days ago? $51.41. The laundry card she just received? $50.00. She looked up at the fluorescent laundromat lights like she was staring right into heaven's hidden security camera. "Okay, Father, what are we decoding here? Spill the tea."

God had shown Zuri His absolute sovereignty time, time, and time again, she knew in her spirit He wanted her to press deeper into this moment.

Now, Zuri doesn’t know the Bible back-to-back like a seminary professor, but she had spent years building a real, authentic relationship with God. And God specializes in taking that raw, day-one kind of bond and using it to teach His word straight to our hearts. God immediately led Zuri into a crash course on biblical numerology because He knew her personality type: she was too observant, too intuitive, and too smart to just ignore a numerical puzzle.

If He had just dumped a massive bag of cash out of nowhere on day one, she would’ve paid the electric bill, breathed a sigh of relief, and gone right back to stressing. But by sending a check that wasn't quite enough and a laundry card she technically didn't need yet, He forced her to look up from her hustle and seek Him. As Proverbs 25:2 puts it:

“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.”

Zuri was about to find out what fifty meant.

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In Scripture, 50 is the ultimate hack for Jubilee, liberation, and freedom from bondage (Leviticus 25:10). It’s the year all debts are canceled, properties are returned, and slaves are set free! And that extra $1.41? God was winking at her, whispering, "And that extra $1.41? That’s your overflow. Pressed down, shaken together, and running over (Luke 6:38). I’m not just canceling your debt; I’m tipping you for your faith."

God always backs up His Word; proving every single time that He watches over it to perform it. This wasn't just a random coincidence. God didn't just teach Zuri a lesson that day; He taught and encouraged her sister Shannon right alongside her, with Sr. getting a front-row seat to how heaven moves. With Jubilee now permanently implanted in her wisdom forever, Zuri's faith and deep knowledge of God leveled up massively.

What God Is Teaching Us as His Daughters

1. He Refuses to Give Us Surface-Level Miracles: As daughters of the Most High, God isn't just interested in slapping a temporary band-aid on our bank statements. He cares more about our spiritual posture than our temporary comfort. By orchestrating a puzzle instead of an instant cash dump, He forced Zuri to pause, lean in, and build a deeper narrative with Him. He wanted her to see that her provision wasn't just an accident: it was a bespoke, hand-crafted encounter designed by a Father who loves playing in the details.

2. He Uses Our Quirks and Intuition on Purpose: God made Zuri observant, analytical, and intuitive for a reason. He didn't ask her to turn off her brain; He engaged it! He knows our unique love languages, our humor, and our thought patterns, and He will literally meet us inside our own algorithms and daily routines to wake us up to His presence.

3. Sisterhood and Obedience are Connected: Through Shannon's nervous wrestling and eventual obedience, God reminded us that our acts of faith are never isolated. When God tells you to bless someone (even when it feels awkward or doesn't make logical or financial sense) your obedience is often the exact missing piece of a puzzle He is putting together for another sister across the room. We are out here winning and growing together.

4. He Turns Our Messy Questions Into Masterclasses: Zuri didn't approach God with disrespect; she approached Him with holy curiosity ("Lord, spill the tea, what are we decoding here?"). God loves when His daughters want to understand His heart rather than just demanding His hand. He will always meet our requests for clarity with profound revelations that upgrade our faith forever. And really just blow our human minds 🙂‍↕️

When life looks crazy and the math ain't mathing, stop trying to make it make sense on your own logic. Keep your spiritual Wi-Fi connected, because sometimes God sends a $51.41 check just to remind you that your Jubilee is locked in. Romans 8:28 reminds us that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." even if your first installment looks like a weirdly specific glitch in the matrix.

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SURVEY

Sheba Global became the envy of every firm from D.C. to Atlanta, but the foundation was rotting. Rayne hadn’t fallen overnight; she had drifted, one "exception" at a time, until the woman who once prayed in her closet was unrecognizable.

^{Have you ever traded discernment for ‘peace’ that wasn’t real?}

Her husband Tyrone was a problem too. He was the "supportive" husband, but he found Rayne’s obsession with the Word... intense. He introduced her to "alignment." It began with a little sage to clear the office energy, a few crystals for focus, and a daily horoscope to check if the stars favored her cases. Rayne, who had built a career on the wisdom of Proverbs, started trading the Holy Spirit for spiritual apps, effectively acting as Solomon did; loving many foreign influences that the Lord explicitly forbade (1 Kings 11:1-2).

Before she knew it, she was dabbling in witchcraft to maintain her "edge," building high places in her heart for idols of prestige and power (1 Kings 11:3-8). Rayne was still closing cases, but she was sacrificing her discernment for a counterfeit peace. The Lord’s patience wasn't infinite; He had appeared to her twice before, back when she was hungry, but now her heart had turned away (1 Kings 11:9-10). The verdict came down, cold and final: "Because you have done this, I will tear the kingdom away from you" (1 Kings 11:11-13).

Then, the divine "Do Not Disturb" sign was ripped off her door, and the protection vanished. The Lord stirred up a lineup of adversaries that not even the Army could have saved her from: her modern-day Hadads and Rezons. A high-profile ex-partner she’d stepped over on her way up finally emerged from the shadows, and let’s just say he brought enough receipts to start a CVS. A rival firm began dismantling her "chariot bases" one by one like a professional demolition crew at a clearance sale, tormenting her influence just as Hadad had troubled Solomon’s peace. Rayne was finding out the hard way that when you stop guarding your gates, you don't just get uninvited guests; you get a full-blown hostile takeover with a side of spiritual drama (1 Kings 11:14-25).

The breaking point came when a bold, young associate named Journey (a woman of valor Rayne had once mentored) began to rise in influence. The board at Sheba Global was looking to replace Rayne due to all the negative publicity; just as the Lord told Jeroboam He would take ten tribes from Solomon’s house (1 Kings 11:26-33). The Lord promised to keep Rayne provisionally for the sake of the legacy Rayne once held, but her time as the undisputed queen was over (1 Kings 11:34-36). Rayne tried to "cancel" the truth-tellers and silence her “resignation”, but we cannot kill what God has already decreed; she found herself a fugitive in her own office (1 Kings 11:37-40).

The rest of her life (her rise, her 666-talent payouts, and her ultimate drift) was relegated to the archives, recorded alongside the acts of all the queens who lost their way (1 Kings 11:41). Not literally but Rayne’s reign ended not with a bang; with the quiet closing of a file, leaving behind a legacy that served only as a warning (1 Kings 11:42-43). She learned too late that the higher the tower, the harder the crash. She wanted the penthouse and the "boss" title, but she forgot that the One who gives the keys is the only One authorized to hold them. When our hearts are split, our houses are never secure; she spent her life chasing a "yes" from the world, only to realize the only "no" that mattered was the one the Lord whispered when she started building shrines to her own ego. The drift isn’t always fast, but the bill always comes due. There’s never enough gold in the world to pay the price of our own soul.

What is the Lord teaching us through 1 Kings 11?

1 Kings 11 isn't just a record of a collapse; it is a mercy-filled warning for us today. The tragedy of Solomon (and the fiction of Rayne) is that they thought they could manage "small" compromises without them impacting their "big" calling. They treated their hearts like public property, allowing the culture of the world to set up shop in the places God reserved for His exclusive residence. But here is the beautiful truth:

Our stories as daughters of the King does not have to end in a divided kingdom.

Unlike Solomon, we have the benefit of hindsight, and more importantly, we have the Holy Spirit. We don't have to wait for the adversary to rise or the prophecy to be spoken to check our foundation. We can tear down the "high places" today; those hidden habits, those "vibes" we’ve been leaning on instead of His voice, and those compromises we’ve justified as "just business."

The Lord isn't looking for a kingdom that is 90% His; He’s looking for a heart that is 100% committed. If you feel that drift today, take it as an invitation, not a condemnation. Repentance is simply turning the wheel back to Him. We can influence the nations without becoming like them. We can build an empire that serves His glory without letting the empire become our god.

SURVEY

SURVEY

The Omni lobby was doing the absolute most, but Rayne walked in like she owned the floor tiles. Sheba Global was waiting, and let’s just say their suite had more gold leaf than a rapper’s grill. They’d been tracking her "God-led" hustle from the cheap seats, and now that her fame had reached their high-speed servers, they came to test her and see if she is who they say she is (1 Kings 10:1). Rayne sat down, looked them dead in the eye, and proceeded to give a masterclass. There wasn’t a loophole she couldn't close or a strategy she hadn't already perfected; there was nothing so difficult for Rayne that she couldn’t explain it to them (1 Kings 10:3).

When they saw the way she handled the pressure (the house she had built, the efficiency of her staff, and the way she served her clients) the partners were straight-up shook. They looked at her like she was the blueprint for the entire legal industry (1 Kings 10:4-5).

"The rumors we heard about your practice was true," they admitted, clearly obsessed.

"But the half wasn't told to us! Your wisdom and your results are actually insane. Happy are your people who get to sit in those church classes and hear your wisdom!" (1 Kings 10:6-9)

They didn't just want to partner; they dropped a signing bonus that had enough zeros to make a calculator faint, sealing the deal before the appetizers were even cleared (1 Kings 10:10).

Once she joined Sheba Global, business didn't just come; it stampeded. It was like the navy of Hiram showed up and dumped the whole ocean on her desk: gold, silver, and high-profile chaos, all for the price of her signature (1 Kings 10:11-12). Rayne was blowing cases out of the water so fast her paralegals were developing eye twitches.

She became the go-to for the untouchables, including their biggest criminal client, 'The Serpent.' She took the case, and the annual payout (the weight of her '666' talents) started hitting her accounts like clockwork. (1 Kings 10:14-17).

Now, it wasn’t a coincidence that the exact weight of gold that came to Solomon yearly was 666 talents (1 Kings 10:14-17). It’s the same number Revelation 13:18 calls the 'number of a man,' a mark of human wisdom and power pushed to the absolute extreme. By cashing those checks, Rayne wasn't just collecting a fee; she was checking the box for 'total human independence.'

That’s exactly how the enemy gets us. He knows exactly how to weaponize our earthly desires, dangling 'success' right in front of our face until we can't tell the difference between a blessing and a bribe. Rayne was convinced she was winning, but she forgot that all money ain't good money.

Just because it’s hitting your account doesn't mean God is the one who sent it.

She was playing with a currency of compromise that her soul couldn't actually cash, but she was way too busy counting the stacks 💰 to notice the trapdoor opening beneath her feet.

Rayne eventually reached full Ivory Tower status, sitting on a throne of prestige, overlaid with the kind of money that makes you forget where you came from. (1 Kings 10:18-20). Her social media went ballistic, evolving from scriptures to "lifestyle" content that looked less like a ministry and more like a flex-fest (1 Kings 10:21-22). She became Sheba Global. The legal world didn't just respect her; they idolized her. Her ego grew its own zip code, and her drift hit warp speed (1 Kings 10:23-25).

She started building her "chariot bases":

• Multiple offices spanning the coast.

• Multiple teams of associates who lived only for her approval.

• Multiple revenue streams that would make a saint weep.

• Multiple platforms where she was the undisputed queen of the grid.

• Multiple partnerships with people she used to pray against.

She was expanding faster than her character could handle, becoming the global "plug" for every high-profile scandal (1 Kings 10:26-28). She was the go-to for the wealthy, the powerful, and the morally questionable; but as her influence spread, her integrity was currently losing a fight to her vanity, shrinking into the background of her own life (1 Kings 10:29).

What The Lord Is Teaching Us In 1 Kings 11:

The drift doesn't start with a bang; it starts with a "yes" to what may look like a "good opportunity" that eventually becomes a distraction from our Heavenly Father. Solomon had it all (the wisdom, the wealth, the platform), but he let the "splendor" of his own kingdom become more important than the One who gave it to him. He started taking advice from the very cultures HE was supposed to be influencing, and bit by bit, his heart wasn't fully committed to the Lord like his father’s was.

As daughters of the King, we have to realize that our "wisdom" (the favor we get, the doors that open, the platforms we build) isn’t a license to flirt with the world; it’s a mandate to stay separate. If our "chariot bases" and our “global” reach are making us too busy to sit at the feet of the One who gave us the keys to the city, we’re not expanding His kingdom; we’re just shrinking our souls. The drift is quiet, it’s glamorous, and it’s expensive, but it’s never worth the price of our intimacy with our Father.

Finale tomorrow. Rayne is officially entering her Tokyo Drift era. She’s hit the point of no return, the "high places" are being built, and she’s driving that chariot so fast the tires are melting. We’re moving into 1 Kings 11, where the consequences finally catch up to the "boss moves." If you thought this was chaotic, wait until you see what happens when the legal empire meets the spiritual crash-test barrier. See you for Day 3; don’t get whiplash!😮‍💨

SURVEY

SURVEY

THE RISE

Back in the rough-and-tumble of 2025, when the economy was selling eggs for the price of a Benz and rent cost a finger per month, Rayne was scraping by. She was praying so hard her knees had calluses, asking God for a way to use her law degree without selling her soul to a firm that treated humans like printer toner. And baby, God showed up! By twenty-five, she’d launched a boutique law practice that was strictly "God-led." It was her temple-building era. She went from praying in a closet to standing on her own two feet in a total ‘rise’ of faith. She was moving like she had a direct line to the Throne, acting like she’d just finished building her own spiritual skyscraper. She’d teach free legal classes at the church on the 3rd Tuesday of each month, helping folks understand their rights, and the Lord’s hand was all over that business.

It was like 1 Kings 9:1-2: Rayne had finished building her "temple" of a career. One Tuesday, a woman from class pulled her aside, beaming, and told her, "Honey, keep doing what you’re doing. But remember, as long as you keep your eyes on God, He’ll do great things through you." It was her 1 Kings 9:3 moment, a confirmation straight from the Throne.

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God used that woman to give Rayne the ultimate promise in 1 Kings 9:4-5: "If you walk before me with integrity of heart and uprightness, I’ll establish your throne forever." She was building a legacy that her mama, her brothers, and her future family could eat off of for generations. But girl (God) knowing the heart of (wo)man better than we know our own Pinterest boards, gave her the "Terms and Conditions" update in 1 Kings 9:6-7. He whispered,

"Rayne, if you or your children turn away from me, if you start serving other gods or bowing down to the 'hustle' instead of the Holy, I’m gonna snatch this blessing right back and cast this temple out of my sight."

It was the ultimate "don’t get it twisted" warning: "I’ll take it faster than I gave it."

THE DRIFT PT. 1

Fast forward twenty years, and Rayne was feeling like a BOSS. She was moving like Solomon in 1 Kings 9:10-14, feeling so powerful she started making moves that would make a shark blush. She did a "favor" for Hines, a brother from church who’d invested in her firm, but because her focus had shifted from "Kingdom business" to "just business," the outcome wasn't what he expected. She gave him the bare minimum Public Defender special, and he walked away mad as a wet hen, calling her work "Kabul", worthless as a U.S. penny, just like Hiram did to Solomon’s cities.

Rayne didn't care. She was too busy building her "store cities" and "chariot bases" (1 Kings 9:15-19). She started doing webinars, legal podcasts, and posting "Legal Tips" on YouTube to expand her footprint.

In 1 Kings 9:20-23 it talks about Solomon’s forced labor, and Rayne’s employees were feeling that same heat. She turned into a terror. She was treating her staff like she was a Pharaoh in a power suit, barking orders and belittling folks who didn’t move fast enough. Her family were just "liabilities" who couldn't keep up with her "God-given" schedule.

Then she met Tyrone. He’s a "Grand Rising" guy who talks about "manifesting" and how "we are all gods." Because Rayne’s heart was already wandering, she didn't just entertain him… she married him. She still showed up to church on Sunday and class once a month on Tuesday, wearing her designer hats and sitting in the front row, but her heart was miles away. (1 Kings 9:25)

The drift hit terminal velocity after she won a massive, high-profile criminal case. She was shipping gold like 1 Kings 9:26-28, collecting thousands of talents for her firm, thinking she was invincible. She was so busy counting the "talents" that she didn't notice the temple she built with God was being replaced by a shrine to herself.

She was riding high, toast-and-champagneing her way to the top, so distracted by the sparkle of her new life that she didn't see the shift in her own atmosphere. Her client list had quietly morphed from "folks needing a lifeline" to "folks needing a bury-the-evidence specialist." She didn't even blink when the money started getting "dirty-clean."

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That night, as she sat in her ivory tower, the silence was broken by an unexpected ring bell notification that made her heart skip a beat. An envelope had been left at her door. It was an exclusive, platinum-embossed invitation from "Sheba Global." The massive, multi-million dollar firm that everyone in the legal world worshipped. They had seen her (Rayne’s) recent high-profile win, and the message was short and sweet: “Your results are legendary. We’ve been watching your rise, and we have a major case that requires your specific… talents. Let’s discuss a partnership that changes everything. Dinner at the Omni. Tuesday. 10p.”

As she stared at the invite, Rayne didn’t see a business deal; she saw her final ticket to the big leagues. She was already mentally spending the commission, completely missing the fact that she was about to sit down at a table where the appetizers were expensive, the main course was her integrity, and the bill was going to be paid with her soul.

Rayne started with a heart for the people and a love for the Lord, but the pressure of the "palace" changed her. In 1 Kings 9, God isn't trying to keep us from success; He's trying to keep us from becoming the very thing that destroys us. He teaches us that our greatest danger isn't the "empty" season, but the "full" one, where we start believing our own hype and forget that every talent we possess is on loan from Him.

When we prioritize the gift over the Giver, we become vulnerable to the enemy’s finest traps.

Tomorrow, we’re hitting 1 Kings 10, and Rayne is pivoting from “God-led hustle” to full-blown ivory tower chaos. That “Sheba Global” invite is the ultimate test: are you going to continue to let God run the hustle, or is the hustle going to run you?

We all love a glow-up, but what happens when: the most dangerous season isn’t the broke days…it’s when we finally touch a bag? When your career is popping and the world is applauding, that’s exactly when the drift starts. We’re peeling back the curtain on the "Solomon Complex," using Rayne’s journey from a humble church-girl to an arrogant penthouse-suite disaster, to show us: • how God’s warnings are actually a lifeline • how our inward faith is more important than our outward success • how the enemy rarely shows up with horns and a tail—he usually pulls up in a G-Wagon with a blank check.

Day 1: The Rise & The Sneaky Drift (1 Kings 9)

• God warns us before He gives the crown. His "Terms and Conditions" aren’t meant to stop our shine; they’re meant to keep our spirit from getting crushed by our own success.

• When the business booms, it’s easy to fall in love with the temple we built and forget the One who gave us the blueprints.

• The drift doesn't start with a crash; it starts the second we swap "Kingdom business" for "I’m the CEO of my own godhood" and start treating people like disposable tools.

Day 2: The Golden Trap (1 Kings 10)

• The enemy doesn't always come with horns; sometimes he comes with a six-figure retainer and a front-row seat to our own hype.

• We’re calling out the lie that a packed calendar is proof of God’s favor. Just because the lights are on doesn't mean the house is clean.

• God is telling us to stop flexin' the gold for a second and ask if our foundation is made of faith or just our own ego.

Day 3: The Rich Reality Check (1 Kings 11)

• When God finally pulls the rug out, it ain't petty: it’s a rescue mission to keep us from losing our soul to the idols we named after ourselves.

• Some of us have been walking away one inch at a time because of the lie the world/enemy sold us that our financial status matters more than claiming Jesus as our Lord & Savior. Or that other gods can sit next to him. Let’s not wait for the downfall to realize we’ve lost the plot.

• It’s time to stop sweeping the mess under the rug and start tearing down the altars of our pride before the downfall does it for us.

Are you ready to see if your temple is built on the Rock or just your own delusions?😮‍💨

Series drops Thursday, July 30^th, 2026

Yi’s currently living in the spiritual version of a bachelor apartment with no furniture: just a mattress on the floor, a box of tissues, and a whole lot of side-eye aimed at the heavens. After 10 years of building a life, her husband decided he was “done,” trading in his wedding vows for a fresh start like he was returning a pair of worn-out shoes. Then there was their church (the same place where they’d been shouting “Hallelujah” and holding hands for a decade) which decided that Yi’s divorce was a “distraction.” Apparently, it’s easier to shout about grace from the pulpit than it is to actually offer a seat to the woman who’s finally run out of Hallelujahs.

The little cherry on top is her mama, Yang. Yang is the kind of narcissist who treats her own life like a wildfire and then blames the neighbors for the smoke. She’s had more failed relationships than a mid-season reality TV show, yet somehow, she’s decided Yi’s divorce is Yi’s fault. She’s in the church foyer, whispering to the usher board, “I always told Yi she was too sensitive, and look, she couldn't keep a man.” Yang is practically the captain of the “Let’s Judge Yi” fan club, running around with a megaphone, acting like she isn’t the reason Yi has trust issues in the first place. Instead of a casserole-brigade, Yi got the cold shoulder, with her own mother leading the charge of the “Holier-Than-Thou” brigade. Honey, she’s stirrin’ a pot of trouble so big it needs its own zip code.

So, Yi goes full-on, high-octane “Unforgiveness Professional.” She ditches the church, declares dating a defunct department, and starts spending her free time aggressively Googling nursing homes for Mama while actively blocking her phone calls. Yi’s convinced that the only way to find peace is to make sure her mama’s drama is happening in a facility at least three zip codes away.

When she’s not angry googling, she’s sitting at home, probably three glasses of wine deep, doom scrolling through her ex’s new girlfriend’s Instagram AND checking her mom’s Facebook just to see what new lies are being told. She’s playing a game we like to call “Spot the Red Flag.” She’s convinced her resentment is a “holy grievance.” She tells herself, “I’m not being bitter; I’m being discerning.” Girl, please! You ain't being discerning; you’re being a faux private investigator for a company that went out of business years ago! You’re out here trying to squeeze lemonade out of a rock, acting like you’re on the payroll to monitor the downfall of folks who don’t even know you’re watching.

Yi was clearly ignoring Proverbs 17:9, which says, “He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends,” while she’s busy broadcasting the matter to her own heart on a loop. She thinks she’s just trying to keep tabs on the truth…but when she keeps “repeating the matter” by checking those status updates and rehearsing the drama, she’s isn’t investigating; she’s just inviting the devil to a sleepover in her soul.

Yi is guarding her heart like a dragon protecting a pile of hot garbage. If anybody brought up fellowship, relationships, or anything resembling a “ship,” they were met with a side of Yi that they weren’t use to: the blocked list side🥴. She’s so focused on the “trash” (the broken vows, the hypocritical church ladies, and a mama who weaponizes “prayer” to be petty) that she’s forgotten her heart is supposed to be a place where living water flows out, not a landfill where grudges go to rot and stink up the place. Proverbs 4:23 tells us, “Above all else, guard your heart,” but Yi is turning her heart into a maximum-security prison where she’s both the warden and the inmate. She’s so busy making sure the “wrongdoers” stay in her mental crosshairs that she’s forgotten she’s the one actually losing her life to their chaos.

She’s basically running a self-sabotage marathon. And the Word is clear on why this is a losing game. Matthew 6:15 hits different when you’re nursing a grudge: “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” It’s the spiritual equivalent of trying to get a refund on a meal we’ve already eaten up. If we want that fresh grace from the Father, we’ve got to stop hoarding the toxic debt of others.

Ephesians 4:31-32 tells us “to get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger”. It’s not a suggestion by the way; it’s a command to clean house. Yi is busy redecorating her heart with resentment, when God is trying to clear the floor for something actually sustainable. She’s trying to hold onto yesterday’s wilted collard greens while God’s trying to set a whole banquet table.

Satan lovesss an unforgiving heart, too. He thrives there. He treats bitterness like a VIP invitation to a party he’s throwing in our soul. When we hold onto something that hurt or offended us, we’re basically handing the devil the keys to our house, letting him park his garbage truck in our living room, and then asking him if he wants a glass of sweet tea while he waits for the stench to set in. An unforgiving heart is his favorite playground; it’s like a slip-and-slide greased with resentment that leads straight into a pit of spiritual exhaustion & turmoil. He doesn’t have to do the heavy lifting when we’re doing the work of burning our own bridges and salting our own fields for him. He’s just sitting back in his lawn chair, fanning himself with our peace of mind, watching us ruin our own harvest while he cheers on the chaos.

Yi finally has one of those “come to Jesus” moments in her kitchen while she’s staring at a piece of toast she burnt to a crisp & listening to one of those YouTube podcasts she’s substituted for church. She realizes that unforgiveness is just trying to poison the ex, the mama, and the church by drinking the cyanide herself and waiting for them to keel over. After 12 months of her “righteous” anger, sleepless nights, anxiety-filled days, and spiritual torment, Yi had enough. She realizes that it didn’t matter who was right and who was wrong anymore, it was stealing HER peace.

Yi comes to the revelation that although she may never get an apology from her ex husband, her feelings may never get she validated by her mother, and that particular church may never change; she is still responsible for letting go of the offense.

Forgiveness is an act of release; access is an act of wisdom.

Just because we washed our hands of the grudge doesn't mean we have to invite the drama back to the table! Yi acknowledges the wreckage; the broken vows, the narcissistic lies, but she also acknowledges that they have no business having access to her peace. Jesus told us in Matthew 10:16 to be “wise as serpents”. You can forgive a snake for being a snake, but you don’t have to let it sleep in your bed.

Yi finds a new spiritual home: a place where the folks actually know how to help carry a burden without making it about themselves. She’s finally letting herself breathe, even opening her heart up to the possibility of a simple coffee date. And that mama of hers? Yi still honors her mother; but she has put up a strict "no trespassing" sign, placing firm, non-negotiable boundaries around her peace. Leaving the rest to God.

Those grudges we hold are not just hurting our social life or our sleep schedule: it’s acting like a heavy & stinky fog between us and the Father. When we choose to stay bitter, we’re essentially telling Jesus, “I know You died for me, but I prefer my rage.” It keeps us in a state of spiritual separation, blocking that sweet, sweet flow of grace that we desperately need to survive the day.

Colossians 3:13 reminds us to “bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” We can't be filled with the Holy Spirit and a pile of resentment at the same time…it’s like trying to put perfume on a skunk. Girl, we can spray all the Bath & Body Works in the world, but if the skunk is still in the room, it’s always gonna smell like someone ate contaminated Taylor Farms salad mix.

I challenge those of us struggling with unforgiveness to take this week to start laying a list of grievances out before God in prayer. I suggest using a prayer journal. Naming every sting and every lie. Don't stop there, though; start praying specifically for the very people who hurt you. It sounds counterintuitive, but asking God to bless them is a way to let Him soften our own heart and begin to heal our deepest pain. Then, let’s practice shifting our focus: every time that bitterness tries to rear its ugly head, pivot to gratitude for what He has restored, and ask Him to help you release the debt you’ve been trying to collect. I have to just look up and say, “Lord, I am flat-out mad at them, and I am struggling to let this go.” And every single time, He gently reminds me of all the things He’s had to let go of on my behalf. It’s a humbling reminder that if He can show me that much mercy, the least I can do is extend a little of that same grace to others. 😅🫣

Before you head out, I’ve got a quick favor to ask!

I’m trying to make sure these devotionals are actually hitting where you need ‘em to hit. Are these words speaking to your spirit, or do we need to shift the focus? I’ve put together a super quick anonymous survey [it’ll take you less time than it takes to reheat your coffee] to help me understand what’s resonating with you guys. Your feedback helps me keep the content real, relevant, and right on time.

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Zoe is Samson in a bonnet. She’s currently in that spiritual burnout stage where her walk with God feels like a flat soda that’s been sitting on her nightstand for four days: the fizz is gone, the sugar is settling, and it’s honestly just sad to look at. She’s trying to "decompress" from the week, which is code for "I’m about to make decisions that will require three weeks of fasting and a tearful apology to the Lord”, by taking a weekend trip to Miami.🫠

She was invited by those “girlfriends” that she swears love her but only encourage her to make bad decisions. They’re the background choir of chaos, hyping her into foolishness.

“Girl, come outside.”

“We outside this weekend.”

And like a fool, Zoe is hitting ‘accept’ on the group invite.

While she’s driving, she posts her location on her Story. About 24 minutes later, her phone dings.

📱 Drew: “You coming to Miami?”

Zoe giggles at her phone. Drew is that “harlot” from verse 1…I mean, the man she should’ve blocked in 2022. You know the one. He texts “wyd” at 11:47 PM like he’s offering salvation. He smells like expensive cologne and poor judgment. He gives her butterflies AND acid reflux. Zoe keeps driving to his house every time she’s in town like she’s got a GPS demon. She’ll swear she’s done with him, and then BOOM: she’s in his driveway eating Hot Cheetos and actively choosing violence against her own peace.

📱 Zoe: “Yeah I’m on the way. I’ll hit you tonight.”

Just like Samson, Zoe is GIFTED. She’s beautiful, although plus-size she can lift weights like she’s training for the Olympics, cooks like she’s auditioning for Food Network, sings like she missed her calling, and speaks like she could run a TED Talk. She even clocks in as a nurse during the week: the "I’ll hold your hand while you survive" kind of nurse. She’s talented in ten directions, but she’s spiritually dehydrated in all of them. 😓

Samson didn’t know the Gazites were waiting to ambush him at dawn (verse 2). Zoe doesn’t know her own choices are waiting to ambush her by Thursday. She thinks she’s just gonna smoke a little something, drink a little something, and slide through that man’s house “just to talk.” Sis is ignoring red flags like they’re expired coupon codes.

By verse 4, Samson meets Delilah. Zoe meets her own Delilah…and baby, her Delilah doesn’t have to ask where her strength lies. He’s already been taking notes. He’s the reason that man keeps tempting her into the “wyd” ministry, those puffs 💨 she swears she can handle, and those fake friends who keep her spiraling. Every time Zoe gives in, she’s not just “having fun”; she’s basically saying, “Here you go…here’s the part of me you can use against me later.” Sis is giving out vulnerability discounts like it’s Black Friday.

Her Delilah is the enemy hiding behind the validation she shouldn’t need and the loneliness she won’t admit. Delilah doesn’t have to ask Zoe anything because Zoe keeps showing him exactly where she’s soft every time she slides back into “Gaza.” And every day, Delilah wears her down.

We reach verse 19 where Samson fell asleep on Delilah’s lap and woke up bald & weak. Zoe’s shaving moment happens in the cold, fluorescent light of reality. After the weekend, she’s subject to a random drug test she didn’t expect, leaving her unemployed by Thursday. A month passes: savings are getting scarce, and a positive pregnancy test is staring at her like, “Surprise, girl!” Let’s not forget those friends who were always “outside” for a good time. They suddenly have the memory of a goldfish and “can’t get to the phone right now.” To top it off, Drew has disappeared like he’s in witness protection.

Zoe’s mill phase (verse 21) looks like sitting in her apartment alone, staring at unwashed dishes and a stack of bills, realizing she gave away pieces of herself she actually needed. Her gift is buried under layers of shame, fear, and regret.

But sis, "buried" isn’t the end of the story. It’s just the funeral for our old self.

Zoe’s faith starts to grow back like Samson’s hair in verse 22. She starts praying again, not the poetic kind, but the desperate, "Lord, help me" kind. She starts attending church again and finally starts therapy. She purges her contacts of people who don't align with her walk. She looks around her messy apartment and realizes, “Wow… I really was the cautionary tale.”

The moment Samson prayed, “Lord, remember me” (verse 28), Zoe has her own version. She’s sitting on the edge of her bed studying her Bible, mascara smudged, stomach queasy, whispering, “God… if You still want me… I’m here.” It’s not poetic, but it’s the most honest prayer she’s prayed in a long time.

Samson asked for strength one more time. Zoe asks for it for the first time in a long time. Samson pushed the pillars, and Zoe pushes herself out of the cycles Satan was trapping her in. While Samson lost his life, Zoe loses her ego. She dies to the version of herself that thought she could flirt with the devil and not get burned.

Her life is filled now with the real ones: the friends who loved her too much to let her stay in the mud, and the family who hugged her instead of shaming her. Just like in verse 31, where Samson’s brothers and his father’s house came down to collect his body and give him a proper burial, Zoe experiences the grace of being "collected" by her own spiritual village. They don’t hold her past over her head; they hold her up when she can’t stand on her own. It’s a beautiful, holy reminder that even when we feel like we’ve burned our own house down, God provides a family to help us sort through the ashes.

We all have different "Gazas"—some of us are running back to toxic relationships, some to substance abuse, some to pride, and others to secret bitterness, etc. Everyone doesn’t have the same vices or the same specific sins that trip them up, but the God we run back to is the same.

The road back is rarely a straight line. It is brutal, it is exhausting, and there are days when the pull of our old life feels like a literal gravity we can’t escape. Falling back into the world is so easy because the world doesn’t require us to change. It loves to keep us stuck. But God isn't just trying to teach us that He forgives; He’s trying to show us that He’s the God of the Rebuild.

He is the same God who met Samson in the mill and who meets us in our own personal wreckage. Sometimes, He lets us sit in the dark of our own mistakes…not because He’s punishing us, but because that’s the only place we’ll finally stop talking long enough to actually listen to Him.

He isn't ashamed of our messy, chaotic, "how did I get here" story; He’s just waiting for us to get tired of the drama so we can finally get back in position. He’s taking the very things the enemy meant for our destruction and using them to construct a foundation we never could have built on our own.

Sis… don’t leave me hanging. If this devotional stepped on your toes, whispered your business, or made you clutch your chest, take the survey and tell me about it.

SURVEY

Elena is having the kind of Wednesday that makes you want to file a formal complaint with the calendar. She’s currently sitting on her bathroom floor…the only place in her house where she can get five minutes of silence without someone asking where their socks are or why the Wi-Fi is acting like a drama queen, and she is spiraling, sis.

Between the “corporate restructuring” email she got last month that’s now morphing into a pink slip, her daughter acting like she pays the mortgage, and her church group chat doing some synchronized foolishness that would make a soap opera writer blush, Elena is basically a five-alarm fire in a century-old pajama set that’s seen too much.

In 1 Samuel 23:1, word gets to David that Keilah is under attack. The Philistines are swarming & robbing the threshing floors…the very place of provision. That’s Elena’s life right now. Her peace, her stability & her sense of control: it’s all getting robbed. Her flesh wants to go to work. She wants to fix it, fight it, flip a table or two, and write an email that would get her human resources file thicker than a phone book. But something in her spirit…that still, small voice that usually gets drowned out by her own panic—says, “Ask God first.”

Elena has never been good at that. Her track record is basically: Panic, Mess It Up, Repeat. Every time she tries to play Savior for herself and the rest of the world, she just ends up with more fires than she has water. This time, though, the blaze is too big for her squirt gun. Surrender is starting to look like the only survival strategy left. She goes to God.

In verse 3, David’s men are acting like the same people in in Elena’s “camp”: loud, dramatic, and absolutely convinced that disaster is around the corner. They’re panicking, and Elena’s emotions are right there with them. She’s scared. She doesn’t have the answers. So, she does what David did in verse 4…she goes back to God. Again. She’s learning that God doesn’t get annoyed by our repeat questions; He’s just waiting for us to actually listen to the answer.

She goes into the office in her home and tries to handle things as God permits. She answers the work email. She talks to her daughter. She responds to the church drama with the little maturity she barely has left. Everything seems to be settling down like it finally got the memo.

But the moment she catches her breath, she finds out her Saul is coming. The job suddenly wants to “restructure” her out after telling her she was safe. Her child flips the script AGAIN, shutting down harder than a phone with 1% battery. And the church folks are twisting her name into something she never said, never implied, never even THOUGHT. Elena has that feeling where she did what God said to do, helped the people she was supposed to help, just for the enemy to use those very people to box her in like she’s the villain in a movie she didn’t audition for.

Elena goes to God & asks, “Are these people really about to turn on me?”

God gives her the truth she didn’t want but came to Him for: “Yes babygirl… they are.”

She feels that sting of realizing the very places she poured into (the job, the kid, the church) are now acting like she never did a thing. Like she didn’t show up or sacrifice. Like she didn’t pray, cry, and fast for them. It’s betrayal with a side of disrespect.

Sometimes the “city” we’re trying to save is the very place God will have us leave.

That’s the surrender moment nobody puts on Instagram. David didn’t fight the people God allowed him to save, and Elena doesn’t either. She doesn’t try to convince anybody of her worth. She doesn’t beg for clarity or chase validation. She packs up her peace, her dignity, her sanity…and gets out of the way. Sometimes we have to allow God the room to handle that job, our kids, and our spiritual home. This is dependency‑under‑pressure kind of surrender. The obedience that feels like loss but is actually protection.

Now she’s in the wilderness: mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Sis is tired. She’s wandering like she’s waiting on a burning bush that’s running late. She’s questioning everything & reaching spiritual dependency on God in its highest form. The kind that make us just have a whisper:

“Lord… I don’t know what I’m doing. I just know I need You.”

Right when she’s about to break, God sends a “Jonathan” (verse 16). A sister, a voice, & a reminder. Someone who strengthens her hand in God. Someone who tells her she’s still called, still chosen, still covered. He sent someone who speaks life when everything feels dead. That’s the God‑sent support we don’t always recognize we need until it shows up with snacks and scripture.

But as we all can relate to, the pressure does NOT let up for Elena. The “Ziphites”, the people who love to snitch, gossip, and stir the pot (refer to verse 19), start running their mouth about Elena and what they think they know about her journey. The situation gets messier. Her anxiety spikes. Her fear circles her like Saul circling David. It’s giving “Lord, if one more thing happens, I’m gonna need You to send an angel with a clipboard.”

And then…right when it feels like there is absolutely no end in sight—God makes a way of escape Elena couldn’t have planned if she tried. She lands an even better job than before. Her daughter finally agrees to family counseling. And her church family? They take accountability. Real accountability.

While she’s been losing her mind over her “Philistines,” God has been behind the scenes moving mountains. He doesn’t need her to be the General Manager of the Universe. He’s got the whole thing handled, even when the walls feel like they’re closing in and there is no way out. That’s the divine strategy setup we don’t see coming.

God wants us to come to Him about EVERYTHING, but He also wants us to come to Him FIRST. Before we spiral. Before we call everybody. Before we try to fix it ourselves. Girl, He wants to help us decide everything down to what we want to eat for breakfast. There’s so much to take away from David and Elena when it comes to full surrender and dependency in our Father. I challenge us this week to ask God about the simplest thing and watch how He shows up. Practicing with the small things builds a spiritual habit that becomes second nature that God meets us in.

I figured I should slide in with a cute pic, too. Not the cartoon or the jokes. Just… me. I’ll try and keep this short and save some of the really good parts for my memoir 😆.

I’m Dee — 34, living in GA, lover of Jesus (I go hard for that one!), writer of devotionals, and stay-at-home mama to a brilliant, hilarious, soon-to-be-7-year-old, neurodivergent son who has a ministry all his own. My sweet gentle giant, Jr., keeps me praying, laughing, learning, and repenting 🫣… usually all before lunchtime. If my life was a sitcom, the laugh track would just be me trying to find my sanity between his episodes and my own. IYKYK (that means "if you know, you know" for my OG saints) 😂.

But before motherhood… before CPW… before the holy hand pops… I was just a little girl in Orlando trying to survive things I didn’t even have words for yet.

Born in ’92. One of my earliest memories was my parents taking me to a park (I’m like 3 or 4) and telling me they were splitting up. They weren’t married, but that moment cracked my whole world open. After that, I didn’t see my father again for years.

It was me, my mom, my older sister, and my two baby brothers. I barely remember the boys because their father took them when they were still babies. I had nightmares about them for years. To this day, I’ve never seen one of them again. I’m in communication with the other, but we’re still strangers and haven't met in person yet. I have not spoken to or seen the youngest since we were children. I recall domestic violence between their dad and our mom, and just a lot of events that led up to that moment.

I believe my mom’s mental health issues started way earlier than any of us realized. But when you’re a kid in the middle of dysfunction, you don’t know what’s “not normal.” You just know what you’re exposed to.

After losing my brothers, it was just my mom, my sister, and me. I think losing those boys broke something in my mom mentally. That’s when the dominoes started falling. Homelessness hit us hard. We bounced between shelters and boarding homes… places no child should ever have to be.

Even in that mess, I remember loving school. Loving the kids’ programs at the shelters. Swimming. Playing. Being around other children. It was the only time life felt like what life should feel like to a child.

But I also remember learning about theft and sex in 2nd and 3rd grade—not because someone taught me, but because violence and adult behavior were happening right in front of us. Shelters expose you to things you shouldn’t see.

Eventually, my mom cut herself off from her family completely. No relatives or support. Somehow, she moved us from Florida to Seattle by Greyhound bus. Can you imagine? THREE DAYS. No showers. No baths. Just movement and survival.

Homelessness followed us there, too. At one point, we lived in what I swear was a hostel—one tiny room with a sink, and a shared bathroom down the hall that was… well, "disgusting" is an understatement. We didn’t have a kitchen, so we used a microwave and a toaster oven for hot food. We had a mini-fridge in the same room as a mattress on the floor and a small TV in the corner that played mostly static.

We didn’t last in Washington. Eventually, we went back to Florida and stayed with family… until the night my mom disappeared. She left a note. She left my sister and me behind.

That moment eventually led to me living with my father (who I unapologetically call my sperm donor).

I remember seeing him and instantly thinking, “Oh absolutely not.” He was a stranger. I wanted to go with my sister and her dad, not be alone with someone I didn’t know. It was awkward from day one, and it never got better. I survived things no child should ever have to survive..especially not from a parent.

Living with him, I experienced physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. I don’t remember when it started, but I remember the cycle: moving around with whatever woman he was dating or “marrying,” forming attachments quickly because when you’re abandoned and abused, you cling to anyone who feels safe for even a moment.

I didn’t have a childhood. No playdates. No outings. No freedom. If I wasn’t at school, I was in my room… reading and hiding. This is how I fell in love with storytelling and writing. I didn’t even want to shower because I was scared of being caught off guard. I started locking the bathroom door in 5th grade. There was no one to talk to. I never had the courage to tell any adults at school what was happening. Any bruises I had, I blamed on falling off a bike.

Eventually, my sperm donor moved us closer to his side of the family, and his romantic drama caught up with him. Things happened, and I ended up living with another family member. By 6th or 7th grade, I had trauma I couldn’t even begin to understand. I was lying and stealing, and my behavior seemed to be too much for others to handle.

As an adult in therapy, I realized I didn't get the support I needed as a child who endured so much. I bounced around for years. I ended up back with my mom my senior year of high school, and that wasn’t a good time either. She treated me like a roommate, not a child. Everything was transactional. It felt like I couldn’t catch a break. I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere.

I graduated high school and used college as my escape plan. Work-study, dorm life—I tried. But eventually, I couldn’t afford tuition and dropped out.

By then, I had strayed away from the one thing that kept me sane: reading. I found other vices—drugs, sex, partying, lying, stealing, dabbling in things I had no business touching. I hit rock bottom a few times. I wasn’t an addict, but I was definitely a hurt, abandoned, neglected little girl feeding her flesh because she didn’t know how to feed her soul.

I don’t think I truly started surrendering to Christ until I had Jr. seven years ago. Before that, I was just going through the motions. But once I had him, once I held this tiny human who needed me, everything changed.

He was born three months early and spent four months in the NICU. That’s when God convicted me. Not in shame but in accountability. He showed me how my choices led me here. He showed me that what I went through wasn’t normal, but now that I’m an adult, my past is not an excuse. And I refuse to let my excuses become generational curses for my child.

So I gave God my yes.

And over the years, as I’ve been learning Him and learning myself, I’ve recognized all the places He was with me—even in my childhood. Because how does someone endure all of this and still live to speak about it with a sound mind?

Only God. ONLY. GOD.

Every move, every tear, every prayer, every piece of trauma, every bit of deliverance landed me right here with Circle of Praying Women.

CPW started as a little Facebook group…just me trying to create a safe space for women who loved God but were also trying to survive life. But God kept nudging me, pushing me, whispering, “Babygirl… build more.” And here we are.

A space where He gets His flowers, His hype, His credit, His glory… but where we also keep it 💯 as His daughters.

A space where we can admit that following Jesus is beautiful… but also a little ghetto sometimes. 🫠😅

A space where we can grow, laugh, heal, and tell the truth even when it feels uncomfortable.

Sis… God carried me through things that Satan tried to bury me alive under and handed me a ministry.

He took a little girl who hid in her room with books and turned her into a woman who writes devotionals.

He took a child who had no voice and made her a voice for other women.

He took what tried to bury me and used it to plant me.

And now, He’s letting me bloom—right here, with you.

So here’s my face. Here’s my story. Here’s the woman behind the devotionals, the chaos, the softness, the strength, the trauma, the healing, the motherhood, the calling, and the testimony.

Alllll of that. 🥹

I pray this blessed you, touched you, and helped you see the heart behind CPW. You’re all stuck with me now, and honestly? I’m grateful for it. Love you! 💓

P.S. Please don’t be shy! Let me know how these devotionals are landing for you. You can comment on the post via the app or website. You can also reply to this email, or click the link below to take the survey. 🥹

SURVEY

Focus Scripture: Ecclesiastes 7

Marissa was currently sweating through a silk blouse that cost more than her car payment, trying to convince fifteen women from the First Baptist women’s committee that her life wasn’t spinning out of orbit like a grease-covered pig at a county fair. Her husband, Carl, had been laid off three weeks ago, but Marissa had decided that instead of letting anyone see her bleed, she’d rather volunteer to host the annual garden party with artisanal pimento cheese and a rented "aesthetic grazing goat" named Billy Graham to trim the lawn.

She was determined to keep her reputation pristine, ignoring the fact that her credit card was currently screaming for mercy like a banshee in a thunderstorm. As she watched Billy Graham the goat bypass the weeds to chew directly on Mrs. Mabel’s designer handbag, she was living out the absolute opposite of what we see in Ecclesiastes 7:1. That verse tells us a good name is better than fine perfume, but Marissa’s perfume today was mostly pure panic and goat spit, and her reputation was about to be trampled by a cloven hoof. Bless her heart, she was trying to act like a debutante when she was really just a hot mess express in a floral print.

As she scrambled to save the hors d'oeuvres from being eaten by the four-legged menace, she was completely missing the wisdom found in verses 2-4, which teaches us that it’s better to go to a house of mourning than a house of feasting. Marissa was living strictly in the "house of feasting," trying to out-laugh her problems with a fake, toothy grin that was starting to crack like a sidewalk in July. She was terrified of the "house of mourning", of admitting she was hurting, but Scripture reminds us that a sad face is actually good for the heart.

It’s a truth-teller that strips away all the superficial nonsense we love to pile on. Marissa had spent so much time trying to be the "wise" woman of the neighborhood, but she was ignoring verse 5, which says it’s better to heed the rebuke of the wise than to listen to the song of fools. She had been listening to the "song of fools"…the lie that she could curate a perfect life…when she really needed a bit of wise rebuke to snap her out of it.

Like verse 6 points out, the laughter of fools is like the crackling of thorns under a pot; it’s loud, flashy, and burns up quicker than a cheap candle. Marissa’s entire party was basically just a giant pile of thorns waiting for a match.

The problem wasn't just the goat; it was her desperate, manic attempt at control. She was fighting against the heavy truth in verses 13-14, which asks who can straighten what God has made crooked, and reminds us that God made both the day of prosperity and the day of adversity.

When God bends a road in our lives, whether through a pink slip or a season of empty cupboards, our immediate instinct is to grab a hammer and try to beat it back into shape ourselves. We think if we just smile wider and bake a better peach cobbler, we can out-plan the Almighty. But as we see in these verses, you cannot straighten what He has bent. Trying to do so doesn't make us faithful; it just makes us tired as a dog chasing its own tail in circles.

As Billy Graham the goat let out a loud, guttural burp, Marissa felt her chest tighten. She was wearing shapewear so constricting she was pretty sure her gallbladder had migrated north to her armpit, a physical metaphor for how she was spiritually suffocating herself. She was living out the warning in verses 16-18, which tells us not to be over righteous or overwise, asking, "Why destroy yourself?"

Marissa had gone and bamboozled her own self into thinking she was the Queen of Perfection. She thought that if she could just play the role of the flawless matriarch, she wouldn't have to face the terrifying reality of her own vulnerability. She was two sandwiches short of a picnic, acting like she had it all together when, as verse 20 also warns, there is not a righteous person on earth who does what is right and never sins. She was trying to reach a standard that even the saints couldn't touch without tripping.

When Mrs. Mabel finally looked at the soggy, goat-chewed ruin of her purse, the dam finally broke. Marissa didn't just leak a tear; she opened the floodgates. She confessed everything right there on the patio. She admitted that Carl was out of work, that they were broke as a $1 soda pop, and that she was scared out of her mind. It was the "house of mourning" she had been running from, and it was the most honest moment of her life.

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 reminds us not to take to heart everything people say, because we all know we’ve cursed others in our hearts, too…and that realization alone is enough to humble any woman. She had been so worried about the "good name" of verse 1, but verse 29 offers the ultimate perspective shift:

"God made mankind upright, but they have gone in search of many schemes."

Marissa was the queen of schemes, having schemed her way into a total nervous breakdown.

Instead of gasping, Mrs. Mabel didn't even blink. She just reached over, pulled a piece of half-chewed leather out of her purse, and said, "Marissa, honey, I’ve been married thirty years, and if I had a nickel for every time we had to eat sleep for dinner because the bank account was emptier than a politician’s promise, I’d be richer than Solomon himself." Marissa stood there, her split seams and ruined party suddenly feeling like a deliverance.

She realized that God hadn't made her life "crooked" to punish her, but to rescue her from the exhausting prison of her own self-sufficiency. God makes the day of prosperity and the day of adversity walk hand-in-hand so that we will stop looking to our own future and start looking to Him. Marissa took a deep breath, let the goat eat the rest of the hydrangeas, and realized that being broken and honest is a whole lot better than being broken and fake.

At the end of the day, we’ve all got our own versions of a rental goat eating the prize-winning hydrangeas. Maybe for us, it’s not a grazing animal in the parlor, but it’s the way we stay up until 2:00 AM perfecting a project we know isn't our calling, just so we don't have to admit we’re overwhelmed. Or maybe it’s the way we keep quiet about our struggles at church, terrified that if we let our mask slip, we’ll lose the "good name" we’ve spent years building. But the truth is, God is calling us out of this exhausting theater. He is calling us out of the "house of feasting"…that superficial, high-strung place where we pretend we have it all figured out…and leading us into the honesty of the "house of mourning." He doesn't want our curated lives; He wants our surrendered hearts.

I also believe he wants us to stop trying to hammer the crooked parts of our lives straight, because when we spend all our energy trying to fix what He has sovereignly bent, we’re essentially telling Him that His design isn't good enough.

Because it is only when we are honest about our inability to be the "Queen of Perfection" that we finally leave room for the King of Glory. Let’s lean into the grace that meets us in the puddle of spilled punch. There is so much more life, so much more joy, and so much more freedom on the other side of our perfect little facades…if we would just have the courage to let them fall.

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¹ Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! ² Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! ³ When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. ⁴ Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.

⁵ Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

⁶ Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment. ⁷ For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.

⁸ The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. ⁹ Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.” ¹⁰ Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord. ¹¹ So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!'
- Psalms 32:1-11 NLT

Let’s talk about Brittany. If you look at her Instagram, she’s the total blueprint for the “perfect life.” But if you look at her actual spirit? It’s a total crime scene. Before we get into Brittany’s story & that judgement rises up, here’s our humbling reminder that we are or have been Brittany. Maybe not exactly like her, but we have our own versions.

Brittany is currently living a double life that would make a soap opera writer need a nap. We’re not talking about missing a few deadlines or a low-key shopping addiction; we’re talking about the heavy, soul-rotting stuff. She’s been involved with a man who definitely isn’t her husband, she’s been skimming from her employer to keep up with the girls, and she’s been using her "church girl" status as a smoke screen to keep everyone from seeing the absolute rot in her foundation. She’s out here singing in the choir with secrets that would make the deacons faint, wearing the outfit, and keeping the "Praise the Lord" on her tongue, but her soul is currently screaming for help.

In Psalm 32:1–4, David, who knew a thing or two about secret sins and public disasters, perfectly describes what Brittany is doing. He talks about how the person who has their transgression forgiven is blessed, but then he keeps it 100 about what happens when you don't. He says, "When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long." That is Brittany in a nutshell. She thinks because she hasn't been "found out" yet, she’s winning. But she’s physically falling apart. Her hair is thinning, she’s got anxiety-induced migraines that make her want to scream, and she’s popping pills just to calm the noise in her head. She thinks the "weight" she’s carrying is just life, but it’s actually the heavy hand of God (verse 4) trying to get her attention. She’s so busy trying to maintain the "perfect Christian aesthetic" that she’s forgotten that Jesus didn't come to save a brand…He came to save a sinner.

The shift happens in (verse 5), when David says, "Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord'—and You forgave the guilt of my sin." Brittany finally hits the wall. She’s sitting in her office, looking at a fake ledger she created, and she just breaks. She realizes that "covering up" her iniquity is a full-time job that she is failing at. She didn't call that therapist she’s been holding back from, and she didn't call her partner in crime who she tells the “I’m the victim” version to; she just fell to her knees right there in her cubicle and told God the truth. No scripts, no "Lord, I’ve been struggling with..." just: "I am a thief. I am a liar. I am a mess. Please save me from myself." The moment she stops acting like she’s the CEO of her own redemption, the air finally enters her lungs.

This is where we find out what David meant in (verses 6–7), where he says, "You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." When Brittany brings it into the light, she isn't afraid anymore. When the audit eventually comes at work, she doesn’t panic; she walks in with the truth. When the man she was seeing texts her, she doesn’t respond. She’s finally safe. God isn’t just the Judge she’s been running from; He’s her literal security detail.

Matthew 11:28–29 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Brittany spent months trying to carry a kingdom-sized burden with a human-sized back. She realizes that the "rest" she was chasing wasn't found in a vacation, drugs, or more money; it was found in trading her yoke for His. Her yoke was deception: it was heavy, jagged, and it was cutting her soul to pieces. His yoke? It’s grace. We cannot have His rest while holding onto our sin. We have to drop the bag to grab His hand.

But God isn't done with Brittany (us) yet. In (verses 8–9), the Lord says, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go... Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle." God is basically telling Brittany (and us), "Girl, stop being stubborn! Stop acting like a mule that needs to be dragged along by a leash."

She’s been so used to running her own chaotic show that even in her freedom, she’s tempted to take the wheel back. God is promising to guide her with His eye on her, but she’s got to stop fighting the bit. She’s finally learning that His way is better than her "hustle for survival" strategy.

Finally, in (verses 10–11), David wraps it up by saying:

'Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord. So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!'

Brittany’s journey is really a mirror for the women God is calling us to be…not perfect women or women who never fall… but women who refuse to hide. Women who trust God enough to tell the truth. Women who stop performing and start surrendering.

We are or have been the women who have carried secrets in our bones, who have tried to outrun conviction, who have smiled through spiritual exhaustion, who have curated a life that looked holy while our hearts were groaning. But when we stop covering and start confessing, everything shifts. We move from groaning under the weight of what we refused to face… to singing under the weight of God’s unfailing love.

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We’ve been reading, laughing, repenting, and quietly asking the Lord why these devotionals are hitting so close to home. Now, it’s your turn to talk back! This anonymous 2-minute survey is your chance to tell me what’s blessing you, what’s exposing you, and what you want to see next in this space.

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The timeline was a literal dumpster fire. The “Saints” were typing essays with their whole chest, fueled by righteous indignation and 12-point font. On the flip side, the “It’s just music, chill out” crowd was holding their ground, loud and proud. 😅

And right there, in the middle of that chaotic, digital tug-of-war, I felt the Holy Spirit tap me on the shoulder:

“Babygirl… let’s talk about what I say about music. Not the timeline. Not the culture. ME.”

Let’s be real….we have to stop playing games because God is not playing games with us. As women trying to actually become who God called us to be, we can’t keep acting like music is just background noise. We can’t pretend lyrics don’t land in our subconscious. And we can not continue to pretend “vibes” aren’t essentially preaching a gospel of their own. Our playlists can be our disciples; the question is, who are we letting teach us through the music we listen to? Are we allowing God or the world?

“ ¹⁴ Now the Spirit of the Lord had departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord tormented him. ¹⁵ Saul’s attendants said to him, “See, an evil spirit from God is tormenting you. ¹⁶ Let our Lord command his servants here to search for someone who can play the lyre. He will play when the evil spirit from God comes on you, and you will feel better.”

¹⁷ So Saul said to his attendants, “Find someone who plays well and bring him to me.” ¹⁸ One of the servants answered, “I have seen a son of Jesse of Bethlehem who knows how to play the lyre. He is a brave man and a warrior. He speaks well and is a fine-looking man. And the Lord is with him.” ¹⁹ Then Saul sent messengers to Jesse and said, “Send me your son David, who is with the sheep.”

²⁰ So Jesse took a donkey loaded with bread, a skin of wine and a young goat and sent them with his son David to Saul. ²¹ David came to Saul and entered his service. Saul liked him very much, and David became one of his armor-bearers. ²² Then Saul sent word to Jesse, saying, “Allow David to remain in my service, for I am pleased with him.”

²³ Whenever the spirit from God came on Saul, David would take up his lyre and play. Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him.”

‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭16‬:‭14‬-‭23‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Meet Raven. Raven is me. Raven is you. Raven is Saul.

Raven had a DAY. Not a "things were a bit busy" day, but a day where her toddler asked for a snack followed by a tantrum for the 800th time before getting to daycare, her coworker looked at her sideways and she took it as a personal declaration of war, her tire popped on the way to pick up her toddler from daycare, and before the day was done she almost folded into a fetal position right there in a parking lot. 🫠

She jumped in the car, desperate for an escape while waiting for the tow truck, her thumb hovering over her Spotify app like it was a lifeline.

Track 1: Gospel. She was trying to be "saved," trying to convince herself she was still anchored.

Track 2: Secular. She needed to be "soothed," to numb the sharp edges of her frustration.

Track 3: Heavy trap. She was trying to feel something…anything…other than the hollowness in her chest.

Track 4: Back to Gospel. She was trying to force a connection with God that her heart wasn't ready for because her mind was already flooded with the lyrics of the last three tracks.

Nothing. Nada. She was spiritually irritated, emotionally cluttered, and mentally loud. She was Saul in a sedan, and she was running out of patience.

Raven finally made it home and threw herself on the couch…the kind of "auditioning for a mattress commercial" flop that happens when you’re utterly spent. She texts that one friend. We all have that one conviction friend: the one who sends prophetic sermons at 6:00 AM unprovoked and prays over our lives like she’s fighting demons for us.

Raven spilled the tea: “Sis, I’m not feeling like myself. I’ve been trying to switch up my music, but everything feels… off.”

The friend didn’t even breathe while texting back: “Sis… maybe stop feeding the spirit that’s draining you and start feeding the one that’s sustaining you?”

Raven went quiet. It was that sting: the one that hurts because we know it’s the truth.

Conviction never sounds like an attack; it sounds like a rescue mission.

Sometimes we can act like our spirit is a bottomless pit that can handle anything we throw at it: trap at 8:00AM, worship at 8:07, R&B at 8:12, and a random TikTok sound at 8:15. But the spirit that sustains us is not a trash can; it’s a temple.

Feeding the spirit looks like choosing what actually strengthens us when the day is beautiful or ugly: worship that reminds us who God is, lyrics that speak life instead of death, songs that point us back to truth instead of fantasy.

Meanwhile, the flesh is in the corner like, “Play something toxic so I can spiral in peace.” And every time we choose entertainment that glorifies what we’re trying to be delivered from, we’re basically handing the flesh a microphone and telling the Holy spirit to sit quietly in the back.

Raven texts the other friend. The one who loves Jesus, sure, but she also loves a good cultural mess. She’s the one who will pray for our healing, but also keep our car keys hidden until we’re done “venting” the tea.

Raven repeated the struggle: “I’m trying to fix my headspace….”

The friend hit back, “Girl, stop overthinking it! It’s not that deep. Just put on Caresha, let it vibe, and forget the day. You need to feel better.”

Raven paused. She knew exactly what that "vibe" was. It was the sugar high of a toxic cycle…sweet for a second, then a massive crash. It was the "escape instead of heal" trap that so many of us fall into when we want to suppress the conviction instead of honoring it.

Here’s another point I think God doesn’t want us to miss: it’s not just the music, it can be the mouth that recommends it. The company we keep will either hand us David’s harp or Saul’s headache. Some friends will say, “Let’s pray and put on worship,” and others will say, “Let’s drown this in lyrics that undo everything God is building in you.”

If the people around us constantly push us toward “vibes” that numb instead of heal, we’re not just battling playlists—we’re battling influence.

Remember in 1 Samuel 16:15–23? Saul was tormented, and the solution was worship. Not a worldly bop or degrading declaration to his worth —it was worship. David played, and the spirit of heaviness literally had to pack its bags and leave. This teaches us how impactful music can be.

Raven finally decided to stop scrolling Spotify like it owed her money and made a choice. She walked into the kitchen, hit play on “Sovereign God”, and just breathed.

Slowly, her shoulders dropped. Her jaw unclenched. The chaotic "what-ifs" of her day started to quiet down. She was still tired, but the atmosphere wasn’t heavy anymore. She was cooking dinner with a calm spirit. She didn’t change her circumstances; she changed her atmosphere. She opened her heart to honoring God over the temporary comforts of the world. In that, just like Saul, she finds peace through the circumstances.

What’s Our Playlist Preaching?

God isn’t asking us to be robots or to live in a bubble. He’s asking us to be awake and discerning.

We are women being formed, healed, and matured. We cannot afford to be spiritually reckless. If we’re filling our minds with lyrics that degrade our worth, fuel our anxiety, or glorify the very things we’re trying to be delivered from, we are essentially trying to heal while still drinking poison.

Music is not neutral. It is spiritual. It acts as a gateway to our hearts (Proverbs 4:23) & it shapes our environment (2 Kings 3:15).

We think we can mix playlists like we mix outfits: little bit of holy, little bit of hood, little bit of healing, little bit of chaos. We tell ourselves, “As long as I sprinkle worship in here somewhere, I’m good.”

But we can’t mix the world and God like we’re making a smoothie. The Holy spirit doesn’t blend with everything we throw in the cup. Eventually, one flavor takes over & the Holy Spirit does not dwell in unclean spaces.

If we spend all day marinating in lyrics that glorify what breaks God’s heart, then toss in one worship song at night, that’s not balance…that’s spiritual whiplash and a certified lukewarm Christian. Ultimately, our music does matter to God in deeper ways we can’t imagine, because it’s shaping the woman we’re becoming when nobody’s watching.

This week, I challenge us to commit to being a little more intentional. I’m not saying we have to delete our whole libraries, but I believe God is calling some of us to start noticing what happens to our spirits when the beat drops. If it doesn’t align with the women God is building us to be, maybe it’s time to curate a new vibe.

The battle between Spirit and Spotify (or wherever you listen to your bops) is real, and it’s happening every time we hit that play button. We have to choose wisely.

Before you log off, here are some scriptures that show exactly how seriously God takes music, worship, and the sounds we let shape our spirit:

Psalm 22:3 — God inhabits praise

He literally dwells in worship. Praise creates an atmosphere where God shows up.

Psalm 33:2–3 — Play skillfully

God values excellence in worship. Music isn’t random — it’s ministry.

Psalm 40:3 — God gives new songs

He puts a new song in our mouth — worship that shifts our perspective.

Psalm 96:1 — Sing a new song

A call to worship that is fresh, intentional, and spiritually alive.

Psalm 98:4–6 — Music expresses joy

Psalm 147:7 — Sing with thanksgiving

Psalm 150 — Praise with everything

Ephesians 5:19 — Spiritual songs build us up

Music is meant to edify, not drain.

Colossians 3:16 — Let the Word dwell richly through song

Music is one of the ways Scripture gets inside us.

2 Kings 3:15 — Music opens prophetic flow

1 Chronicles 25:1 — Music is ministry

2 Chronicles 5:13–14 — Worship invites God’s glory

Acts 16:25–26 — Worship breaks chains

Revelation 14:3 — Heaven sings prophetic songs

Revelation 5:8–10 — Worship is warfare

Harps + prayers = spiritual power. Music is part of heaven’s battle strategy.

Proverbs 18:21 — Life and death are in the tongue

When we rap, chant, or sing along, we’re speaking something into our atmosphere — and Scripture says our words carry life or death.

Matthew 12:36–37 — We will give account for every word spoken

Jesus says every careless word matters.

Yes… even the ones we shout in the car when the beat drops.

James 3:9–12 — The tongue can’t bless God and curse people at the same time.

James 3:5–6 — The tongue is small but powerful

Ephesians 4:29 — Let no corrupt talk come out of your mouth

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¹But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. ²He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. ³Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.” ⁴But the Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?” ⁵Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. ⁶Then the Lord God provided a leafy plant and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant. ⁷But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. ⁸When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.” ⁹But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?” “It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.” ¹⁰But the Lord said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?” - Jonah 4:1-11 NIV

Child, we’ve officially reached the finale. This is the chapter where Jonah starts acting like a whole grown toddler with a prophetic mantle. He sees God spare Nineveh, the same city he was literally praying would get leveled, and he loses his ever-loving mind. He is MAD. Not just “oh, that’s irritating,” or “let me pray about my emotions.” He is fuming and straight-up throwing a fit in the middle of the desert.

He basically looks at God and goes, “See! This is exactly why I didn’t want to come out here. I knew You were gonna be alllll merciful. I just KNEW You were gonna be gracious. I knew You were gonna be a big softie on them. This is why I ran!”

I really was undone at how this man is actually standing there arguing with God because God didn’t give these people he barely knew the “smite treatment.” Jonah wanted fireworks and brimstone; God gave them a second chance.

 God hits him with the gentlest, most disrespectful question ever:

 “Is it right for you to be angry?”

Jonah ignores the question like a true hater, turns his back, and storms off to sit outside the city. He builds himself a little petty observation booth. He is giving “I am not talking to y’all no more,” “I’m logging off,” and he is definitely giving “I hope something bad happens so I can say I was right” energy. And God, because He’s a Master Teacher, decides to use props to humble this man.

God grows this big, beautiful, leafy plant over Jonah’s head to give him some shade. And baby, Jonah loves this plant. He’s happy. He’s refreshed. He’s probably rubbing his feet together, humming while swaying back and forth, thinking, “See? I knew it! God loves me more than He loves them.”

Some of us have a little case of “main character Christianity.” 😭 We secretly expect God to treat us differently than everybody else. We want VIP access to grace. Front-row seats to favor. Unlimited blessings with no interruptions. Meanwhile, we’re throwing “God’s Favorite” in our Instagram bio while struggling to make Him our first priority in real life.

Then God sends a worm. The worm eats the plant, the plant dies, and the sun starts beaming right on Jonah’s bald spot. The wind is blowing, the heat is rising, and Jonah spirals again. He dramatically goes, “It would be better for me to die.”

Jonah was not sparing the theatrics, honey. He is giving us a soap opera monologue with zero budget. And God asks him again: “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”

 And Jonah has the audacity to say, “YES. I’m mad enough to die!” Boy stop!🤣

At this point, he is arguing with the Creator of the Universe about landscaping because he’s so pressed that the others didn’t suffer.

God finally lays it out for him: “Jonah, you care more about this plant—something you didn’t plant, didn’t water, and didn’t nurture—than you care about a whole city full of people I created. You want Me to rain fire on them, but I’m over here trying to save them. Those people you despise? They’re on My heart. And yes, Jonah, even their animals.”

This entire chapter reads like a heavenly intervention. God is looking at Jonah like, “Help me understand...” 😭😭😭

“You’re upset...because I didn’t destroy people who repented?”

“So your issue is...My mercy?”

Jonah:🧍🏾‍♂️

Jonah wanted customized compassion: grace for him, judgment for them. He wanted God to act like a personal hitman instead of a holy Father. He probably felt since he had to sit in a fish, they should get some kind of punishment too. Surely they were worse people than him. Right? But here’s the real heart check:

 1. Jonah cared more about his comfort than God’s calling.

• That plant made him happy.

• Those people made him angry.

• And God said, “Your joy is tied to shade, not salvation.”

2. Jonah wanted God to agree with his grudges.

• He didn’t want Nineveh forgiven because he didn’t like them.

• He wanted God to validate his bitterness.

3. Jonah forgot how much mercy he had already received.

• He wanted grace for himself but justice for everyone else.

• He wanted God to be patient with him but petty with them.

• He also disobeyed God the first time meanwhile the entire city heard one sentence and showed up for God immediately.

4. Jonah confused personal preference with divine judgment.

• Just because Jonah was done with Nineveh didn’t mean God was.

5. Jonah wanted to control the outcome instead of trust God’s heart.

• He wanted to sit outside the city and supervise God.

• He wanted to watch destruction, not witness redemption.

This is us. In 2026. With Wi-Fi, iced coffee, and therapy apps.

 1. When God blesses somebody we don’t like, and we get irritated:

• You ever see God open a door for somebody who was mean to you? And suddenly we’re in our prayer closet like, “Lord… explain Yourself.”

 2. When we think our suffering qualifies us for special treatment:

• Jonah said, “I sat in a fish, so THEY should suffer too.” We do the same thing: “I went through all that… and she gets a breakthrough?!” 

3. When we build petty observation booths:

• You know…watching someone’s life like it’s a reality show, waiting for them to fail so you can say, “I KNEW IT.” Jonah invented that.

 4. When we get mad at God for not punishing people fast enough:

• We want instant retribution while God wants & gives redemption.

• We’re mad because God didn’t “spin the block.”

 5. When we care more about our comfort than someone else’s salvation:

• Jonah loved that plant more than the people.

• We love our comfort zones more than the calling to love people who annoy us.

 6. When we think God’s mercy is unfair:

•  We want grace for our mistakes…but consequences for theirs. Jonah energy.

 7. When we act like God’s compassion should match our preferences:

• “Lord, bless me… but don’t bless THEM.”

 8. When we forget how many chances God gave us:

• Jonah forgot the fish. We forget the grace. Now suddenly we’re experts in who “deserves” forgiveness.

 9. When we get dramatic over inconveniences God uses to grow us:

•  Jonah lost his plant and said, “I want to die.”

• We lose our parking spot and say, “The devil is attacking me.”

 10. When we think God should consult us before being merciful:

• Jonah wanted veto power over grace.

• We want advisory roles in heaven.

God is exposing the Jonah in us so we become women who love what He loves, forgive the way He forgives, and celebrate His goodness, even when it blesses people we would've skipped over. 

 If you’ve journeyed through Jonah with me — from the running, to the repenting, to the preaching, to this final attitude check — I just want to say thank you.

Thank you for reading, laughing, & letting the Word drag you a little. Thank you for growing with me. Thank you for showing up every day hungry for God’s voice.

This series has been wild, hilarious, convicting, and so necessary — and I’m grateful you walked through every chapter with me. A brand-new series drops next week, and baby… it’s going to be GOOD. See you all then, love you! 💓

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¹Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: ²“Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.” ³Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh. Now Nineveh was a very large city; it took three days to go through it. ⁴Jonah began by going a day’s journey into the city, proclaiming, “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown.” ⁵The Ninevites believed God. A fast was proclaimed, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth. ⁶When Jonah’s warning reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. ⁷This is the proclamation he issued in Nineveh: “By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let people or animals, herds or flocks, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. ⁸But let people and animals be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. ⁹Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish.” ¹⁰When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened.' - Jonah 3:1-10 NIV

By the time Jonah rolls up into Nineveh, he is giving absolutely zero “anointed vessel of the Lord” energy. None. Zilch. He is giving straight-up “I just crawled out of a trauma-filled nightmare, and the only reason I’m even standing here is because God who refused to let me quit” vibes.

Let’s be 💯: Jonah was not a communicator. He wasn’t a strategist, he wasn’t trying to be a motivational speaker, and he certainly wasn’t trying to win Mr Congeniality. The man was a walking, talking disaster. His skin was probably all pale and ghostly from that fish’s stomach acid, and honey, he probably smelled like the inside of a dumpster behind a seafood joint in the middle of a July heatwave. His clothes were stiff, crusted over with dried salt, and his attitude was somewhere between “I am straight-up exhausted” and “I dare a moth to fly into my face right now.”

But God, being God, said, “Go to Nineveh and say exactly what I told you.”

And Jonah - still crusty, still salty, still smelling like a seafood platter that sat in the sun too long—finally decides to clock in. He struts into Nineveh, which was basically the ancient version of NYC meets Vegas with a heavy dose of “don’t you look at me.” It’s loud, it’s chaotic, and it’s straight-up messy. It’s the last place Jonah wanted to be on his day off.

Now, you’d think he’d pull up with a three-point outline or a catchy little hook. But no. He doesn’t warm up the crowd, he doesn’t introduce himself, and he certainly didn’t explain why he smelled like a nautical crime scene. He didn’t even project his voice!

He just mumbles the message like he was trying to get through a drive-thru window at closing time:

“Forty more days and Nineveh is history.”

That was it! Five words. That was the whole sermon! Jonah wasn’t trying to save nobody; he was just trying to check a box so he could go home and complain about his life. He was doing the absolute bare minimum, hoping his boss would just fire him so he could go back to his couch. He was probably speed-walking through the streets, whispering, “heyguysfortymoredaysandyouredeadokaybye” under his breath.

But girl, this is where it gets hilarious.

THE NINEVITES ACTUALLY LISTENED.

These people were the neighborhood bullies of the ancient world, but they heard his little mumble-mouth self and caught the Holy Ghost immediately. The king hears this five-word catastrophe, panics, jumps off his throne, puts on some itchy burlap, and starts sitting in ashes. He’s out here telling the whole city to stop eating and start praying!

And it gets better. The king makes a decree that even the livestock have to fast and wear sackcloth. Can you imagine a cow giving up its breakfast and walking around in a scratchy burlap poncho because a man who smelled like a tuna sandwich said the city was doomed? Picture a goat, looking all mournful and hungry, staring at a wall trying to repent for its sins. The whole city was participating in this spiritual retreat!

Here’s the thing about God: You don’t need a polished presentation to produce a powerful breakthrough. We sit here thinking we have to be perfect, eloquent, or cute to do God’s work, but God doesn’t need your “aesthetic”—He just needs your availability. Jonah was running from God’s love, got swallowed by it, and then had to preach it while hating every single second of his life.

If God can use a fish-vomit-covered mess to flip a whole empire, what’s your excuse, sis? You think your past is too messy? Your attitude is too sour? Child, please. God loves to show off by using the most unqualified people in the room to do the most miraculous things. He’ll take your “oops, my bad” moments and turn them into a revival. Just show up, open your mouth, and stop worrying about being impressive. Being available is always going to trump being “put together.”

COMING TOMORROW… Day 4: Growing. Jonah is going to show his full dramatic self, and God is gonna give him (and us) a heart check so intense it’s practically a spiritual hand pop. Bring your humor, and let’s finish this journey together. Love you! 🩷

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¹⁷Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. - Jonah 1:17 NIV

¹From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. ²He said: “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help, and you listened to my cry. ³You hurled me into the depths, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me. ⁴I said, ‘I have been banished from your sight; yet I will look again toward your holy temple.’ ⁵The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me; seaweed was wrapped around my head. ⁶To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But you, Lord my God, brought my life up from the pit. ⁷“When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple. ⁸“Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them. ⁹But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’ ” ¹⁰And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.' - Jonah 2:1-10 NIV

So, yesterday Jonah literally bought a ticket to Tarshish because he convinced himself that if he couldn’t see Nineveh on his map, God couldn’t see him either. Clearly, he needed a lesson on how omnipresence works. 😅The math was not mathing.

By the end of chapter one, Jonah got absolutely exposed by a massive storm⛈️, called out by pagan sailors, had to admit he was the entire problem, and volunteered to become fish food. The side-eye from the crew must have been lethal.

Now imagine waking up after all that madness.

It is pitch black.

Zero legroom.

Everything is damp.

The air quality? Disastrous.

The smell? Sis, whew.

I can imagine it smelled like wet gym towels, expired sushi, and bad decisions all signed a 12-month lease together. Jonah didn’t need Google Maps to drop a pin. He knew exactly where he was. Because when we spend that much time running from God, we eventually recognize the distinct aroma of our own consequences. Real Talk for a Second...

Nobody plans to end up in the trenches like this. Nobody wakes up and says:

“You know what? Today feels like a great day to ignore God’s instructions until I’m sitting inside a giant fish rethinking my entire life.”

Yet, here we are. Maybe we aren’t sitting in literal fish guts, but we’ve been stuck in a situation where the world finally got quiet enough for us to admit, “Yeah... I’ve been doing entirely too much.”

The funniest part about this whole story is that Jonah finally ran out of options. No more trips to book. No boats to catch. No crew to hide behind. No more naps to take. It was just Jonah... and God. It’s crazy how loud the silence gets when you run out of distractions. Sometimes we keep ourselves so busy just so we don’t have to sit with what God already told us to do. We will:

• Clean out the closet.

• Start a whole new business.

• Purge the fridge.

• Delete TikTok.

• Redownload TikTok.

• Watch 17 sermons on YouTube.

• Take color-coded notes.

• Highlight every verse.

• Buy another devotional.

We will do absolutely everything except obey the one instruction God actually gave us. But Jonah couldn’t distract himself anymore. The fish completely cleared his schedule.

Contrary to popular belief: The fish wasn’t God canceling Jonah. It was God keeping him alive. 🛟

Think about it. Without the fish, Jonah drowns. The ocean was the actual judgment; the fish was just mercy wearing a really weird outfit. God didn’t rescue Jonah the way Jonah would have put in the checkout cart. He rescued him the way he needed. And honestly, aren’t we the exact same way? We pray, “Lord, save me!” and then get offended because the rescue package doesn’t match the aesthetic we ordered. 😭

Sometimes protection feels like a lockdown. Sometimes grace feels highly inconvenient. Sometimes love sounds like, “No,” or “Not yet,” or my personal favorite: “Sit down.”

Some of us know exactly what a “fish season” feels like. You try to force a door open, and it locks. Every shortcut evaporates. Nothing is moving. You’re mad because it feels like life hit pause, but God is standing there saying:

Those are two completely different vibes.

Step 42: Actually Praying

Then Jonah finally does what he should’ve done before he even boarded the ship: he prays.

I low-key laughed when I realized that. Not because prayer is funny, but because we are hilarious. We will do a whole lap around the world before we talk to God. We’ll call our mom, text three group chats, watch twelve TikToks, read forty-seven comment sections of total strangers, ask ChatGPT, Google it, journal about it, take a nap, cry, eat snacks, make a moody Spotify playlist, overthink ourselves into a headache... and then, somewhere around step forty-two, we’ll finally say, “Maybe I should pray about it.” 🙏🏾

Why are we like this? Jonah was the exact same way. The pagan sailors were literally praying to their gods before the actual prophet of God even opened his mouth. That should humble us real quick.

Jonah said:

“In my distress I called to the Lord, and He answered me.” (Jonah 2:2)

Did you catch that? God answered. Not because Jonah earned a second chance, or because he gave a flawless apology, or because he finally got his life together. God answered because that is simply who He is—merciful, patient, compassionate, and faithful. Jonah didn’t find a “new, nicer version” of God inside that fish. He just finally remembered the God who had been good the whole time. 🩷

Sometimes repentance isn’t about learning something new; it’s just remembering what our pride made us forget.

Conviction vs. Condemnation

Some people hear the word “repentance” and automatically assume God just wants them to feel miserable. Big mistake. Conviction and condemnation are completely different. The Holy Spirit convicts us so we’ll come back home; the enemy condemns us so we’ll stay hiding in the dark.

Repentance literally just means apologizing with changed behavior. It’s looking at God and saying, “You were right.”

Not, “You were mostly right.”

Not, “I still think my point was valid.”

Not, “Well, technically...”

Just a straight-up, “Father, You were right. I wasn’t.” That kind of honesty shifts things.

As Jonah prays, his perspective changes. He remembers God’s goodness, His mercy, and that salvation belongs entirely to the Lord. But notice what doesn’t change right away: the fish is still there. The smell hasn’t improved. The walls didn’t suddenly expand. His circumstances stayed exactly the same, but his heart didn’t. 🫖

Sometimes God transforms us before He transfers us.

Say Less, Lord

Once Jonah’s heart was finally facing the right direction, God told the fish it was time to wrap it up. And the fish obeyed immediately! Meanwhile, Jonah had spent two whole chapters arguing. Even the ocean’s creatures knew who the big dog was.

The fish spits Jonah out onto dry land. Not back at chapter one, not back on the boat, but forward. Because true repentance never sends you backward; it puts your feet right back on the path you were supposed to be walking from the jump.

I picture Jonah standing on that shore looking absolutely wrecked. Hair a mess, clothes ruined, probably smelling like raw ocean and three uninterrupted days of terrible choices. But something else was different, too: he wasn’t carrying excuses anymore. He was carrying obedience.

Sometimes God brings us out of messy places before He cleans up all the evidence that we were even there. And that’s perfectly fine. Our testimony isn’t supposed to smell like expensive perfume. Sometimes it just smells like survival. Like, “I should’ve drowned... but God wouldn’t let me.”

That’s a fragrance worth carrying. 🌹

✨ Tomorrow is Day 3! Jonah finally heads to Nineveh, and we’re going to see that delayed obedience is still obedience—but it comes with lessons we could’ve avoided. We’ll also discover what happens when one person finally says “yes” to God… and how an entire city is changed because of it.  

See y’all tomorrow! Love y’all! 💕

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¹ The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: ² “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.” ³ But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.” - Jonah 1:1-3 NIV

Jonah is like so many of us. As soon as God says something we don’t want to hear we will take off like rent is due. Without hesitation, his inner track star was activated. Jonah booked a cruise like God couldn’t get his own ticket. But I don’t want to clown him too hard because he is us…

God be like: “Go talk to them.”

And we’re like: “…Okay but what if I just… don’t?”

God be like: “Start the thing.”

And we’re like: “in THIS economy?”

As with us sometimes, Jonah didn’t run because he didn’t understand. He ran because he understood TOO well and wanted NO parts. I believe that’s where it gets real for us. Sometimes God gives us an assignment that feels like it should’ve been addressed to somebody else. 📬

Somebody braver. Somebody holier. Somebody who didn’t just cry in the car yesterday. Somebody who didn’t have a full crash out over the person who pulled out like they were auditioning for Fast & Furious 13.

Nope … He chose US. 😭

And next thing we know, we’re in Joppa buying a ticket to Tarshish like: “God, I love You… but I’m not available for this particular calling.” 🥲

Jonah wasn’t just running from God or Nineveh. He was running from growth, responsibility, & the version of himself he wasn’t ready to meet yet. And God basically responded with, “Aww, that’s cute. Anyway…”

Jonah 1:4-16 shows that same lesson God teaches us time & time again: running doesn’t just affect you but everyone connected to you. Jonah got on a cruise he had no spiritual ticket for and it didn’t just cost him, but the guys he tried to hitch a ride with. He also forgot that God can reach him anywhereee! Jonah really acted like God didn’t have his location shared. Like the Lord wasn’t the ORIGINAL GPS. God pulled up with a storm like, “Oh you thought I couldn’t find you? Cute.” He shook that boat just enough to say, “Run if you want… I still see you.” 😂

The sailors are panicking. Everybody is crying out to their own gods. Cargo is flying overboard & the ship is threatening to break apart. And where is Jonah?

KNOCKED. OUT. Below deck.😳 Sleeping like he took melatonin, NyQuil, AND a warm bath. Sir is in REM sleep while everyone else is in Revelation.😫 The captain literally had to come downstairs like:

“HELLO? HOW CAN YOU SLEEP? GET UP AND PRAY!” 😒

Sometimes WE are the Jonah on the boat. Running from God…and somehow still sleeping peacefully in the middle of chaos we caused. Like the whole situation is shaking, people are stressed, alarms are going off, and we’re knocked out like it’s a Sunday nap after church service & brunch. We’ll be in the middle of a storm WE started, stretched out like, “This is fine,” while everyone else is wide awake trying to survive the fallout. Sometimes we get so used to dysfunction that we treat it like a weighted blanket — slipping into a storm‑proof slumber right in the middle of the mess we created, completely unaware that other people are paddling for their lives because of our decisions.

And sometimes WE are the sailors. Minding our business… and suddenly caught in a storm that doesn’t even belong to us — a storm so loud we’re looking around like, “Whose spiritual bill is this and why am I being charged?” That’s when discernment kicks in and we realize we need to identify whose chaos we’re carrying… and gracefully let them go overboard before their storm turns our whole life into a shipwreck. Sometimes the most woman of God thing you can do is look at the storm, look at the person causing it, and say, “Yeah… this ain’t my assignment,” and step back.

The sailors knew something was off. They started casting lots like, “Somebody on this boat is the problem, and we’re about to find out WHO.” Basically the Old Testament version of Guess Who: Chaotic Boat Edition 🛥️

And the lot fell on Jonah like: “Ding ding ding — YOU are the winner.” Then they hit him with the rapid‑fire interrogation:

• Who are you?

• Where are you from?

• What did you do?

• Why is this happening?

• Why is OUR boat shaking because of YOUR choices?

Here goes Jonah, with the most casual audacity, said: “Oh yeah, I serve the God who made the sea… and I’m running from Him.” 🫣

The sailors said: “YOU'RE DOING WHAT TO WHO??” 😤

Imagine their level of irritation when they realized this was all caused by someone else. Like… they’re out here fighting for their LIVES, tossing cargo, praying to every god they ever heard of (which probably also didn’t help), rowing like they’re in the Olympics — only to find out the storm wasn’t even THEIR storm. It was Jonah’s little “I’m running from God” side quest. The AUDACITY. 🫠

Still THEY knew: You don’t run from the God who controls the water (as well as everything else!)… especially while you’re ON the water. This whole chapter is a reminder that when we put those track shoes on, we don’t just disrupt our own peace — we disrupt the peace of everyone around us.

Eventually the sailors realized the only way to calm the storm was to deal with the source of it — Jonah. They tried rowing harder, praying louder, and probably bargaining with God like, “Lord PLEASE don’t make us throw this man overboard, we don’t even KNOW him like that.” But the storm kept storming, the waves kept waving, and Jonah finally had to be like, “Yeah… so this one’s actually my fault.” 😅The sailors looked at him like, “Sir… WHY would you get on OUR boat with THIS beef?” And after trying everything else, they finally said, “Alright, big dawg… you gotta go.” They tossed him into the water with the hesitation of people who do NOT want murder on their spiritual résumé — and the sea went SILENT. Like God hit the divine mute button. Jonah thought he was running from responsibility, but he ended up taking the most dramatic dive into accountability the Bible has ever seen.

But fear not there is grace!

Even in Jonah’s mess, even in the storm, even in the chaos he personally sponsored… God was STILL after him. Jonah tried to disappear like God didn’t have his location shared. He really thought he could outrun the One who made the ocean he was running on. And yet…God didn’t let him drift too far. He has this wild way of interrupting our detours, flipping them inside out, and somehow using the very mess we created as material for our destiny. Even the boat crew, the innocent bystanders in Jonah’s little runaway adventure, ended up giving their lives to the one true God right in the middle of the chaos. That’s the thing about God: He’ll let us run, but He will NOT let us escape our purpose.

Tomorrow we dig deep into Chapter 2 where Jonah finds himself in an unexpected place leading to repentance. See you there, love yal!💓

Buckle up, buttercup, because we’re diving into the Book of Jonah 🌊: a four‑chapter cinematic saga featuring one dramatic prophet, our extremely patient God, one confused fish 🐳 who did NOT clock in for this shift, and one city 🌆 that repented faster than we can say “group chat accountability.”

This isn’t the kiddie version. This is the grown Christ‑like women, Bible‑holding, oil-wearing, self‑aware, “Lord it’s US standing in the need of prayer” version.🌹Let’s be real…Jonah is ALL of us on a random weekday.

He’s the prophet who said: “God, we hear you… but we don’t prefer what you’re saying.”🥴He was the saint who obeys… eventually. The believer who wants mercy for themselves but justice for everybody else. He was the one who gets mad when God forgives people we don’t even like 🫣(you know the ones… don’t look 👀around).

Jonah was the patron prophet of mood swings, delayed obedience, dramatic reactions, and spiritual side‑eye.

And God STILL used him.

Which gives all of us hope, because whew… it’s a struggle sometimes. 😅 This is a four‑day heart check, and each chapter exposes a different part of OUR hearts:

DAY 1 — Running: Jonah booked a cruise like he was avoiding a family intervention 🫠When God says “Go” and we say “Actually… let’s chill in the shade a little while longer.”

DAY 2 — Repenting: The wake‑up call inside the fish. Sometimes God puts us in tight, isolated, & unexpected places not to punish us, but to sit us down. Because when we’re running, we can’t hear a THING He’s trying to tell us. Just be sprinting with noise‑canceling headphones on.😭

DAY 3 — Preaching: All God needed was Jonah to show up. He did the rest. The one‑sentence sermon that sparked a whole revival. Jonah wasn’t even trying — he gave God the bare minimum — and God still moved. Proof that God can use us even when we’re giving “C‑ effort but A+ availability.”📣

DAY 4 — Growing: When God gives grace to people we don’t like… and checks our attitude about it. This one might sting a little, but we’ll get through it together 💓.

This is the chapter where Jonah said, “So you’re not gonna put THEM in timeout like you did me?!”

And God said, “Worry about YOU, and let Me worry about THEM.”

We’re going to laugh. We’re going to reflect. We’re going to say, “Wow… we ARE Jonah.” 🥲And then we’re going to grow.

God is still:

• calling us

• pursuing us

• correcting us

• showing us mercy we didn’t earn

• giving grace to people we wouldn’t have chosen (because those are his kids too)

• & working on our hearts while working through our calling

He’s not done with us even when we’re dramatic.

✨ MARK THE DATE

Day 1 drops June 30 at 12AM EST

Love yal!💓

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⁹ The anger of the Lord burned against them, and he left them. ¹⁰ When the cloud lifted from above the tent, Miriam’s skin was leprous —it became as white as snow. Aaron turned toward her and saw that she had a defiling skin disease, ¹¹ and he said to Moses, “Please, my lord, I ask you not to hold against us the sin we have so foolishly committed. ¹² Do not let her be like a stillborn infant coming from its mother’s womb with its flesh half eaten away.” ¹³ So Moses cried out to the Lord , “Please, God, heal her!” ¹⁴ The Lord replied to Moses, “If her father had spit in her face, would she not have been in disgrace for seven days? Confine her outside the camp for seven days; after that she can be brought back.” ¹⁵ So Miriam was confined outside the camp for seven days, and the people did not move on till she was brought back. ¹⁶ After that, the people left Hazeroth and encamped in the Desert of Paran.’ - Numbers 12:9-16 NIV

God was big mad! Imagine the heat of His anger against your skin 😭 You could almost hear heaven say, “Alright, let’s deal with this mess y’all created.” That cloud lifted, and Miriam’s skin turned white as snow — a full‑body “SURPRISE, HERE’S YOUR CONSEQUENCE” moment.

Aaron saw her and immediately folded like a lawn chair. This man went from being the audience to “We hear from God too” to “Moses PLEASE, we have sinned, help us, help US, HELP US.” Funny how boldness evaporates when consequences show up with receipts. The SAME Moses they were shading is the one who prays for her. The one they talked about is the one interceding. That’s grace with a side of “be so serious.”

Since Moses had that real connection with God, God heard Moses. He answered. He extended mercy. But He didn’t skip the consequence. Miriam still had to sit outside the camp for seven days. Sis was in a full restoration timeout. Not because God was petty, but because:

Growth requires space.

Here goes the reoccurring lesson God loves to teach us: disobedience does not just affect you. The entire community had to stop and wait. All because Miriam decided to run her mouth. It was giving gas station checkout line energy — you know when ONE person pulls out 14 lottery tickets and the rest of us are just trying to buy gas and leave? Yeah. That was Israel. Stuck. Waiting. Watching. All because somebody wanted to be messy on a Tuesday.

A seven‑day timeout would’ve saved some of us YEARS of foolishness. Imagine how different life would look if God had sat us outside the camp with a blanket, a journal, and a bottle of water the moment we started acting like Miriam. And honestly, I believe He does this in indirect ways. Sometimes He allows that flu to sneak up on us at the worst possible time, or that bottom step shifts an inch from the previous day, causing a stumble that now requires a foot boot.

But even in the consequence, mercy was present. God didn’t abandon her. He didn’t cancel her. He didn’t replace her. He restored her — but He also made sure she learned something on the way back in.

Just like that, we’ve reached the end of this two‑day journey. Short, convicting, and necessary.

Miriam and Aaron left us with a whole list of reminders:

• Conversations carry weight — even the ones we think are harmless.

• Motives matter more than we admit.

• Pride will have us saying things our character can’t cash.

• Humility keeps us grounded before consequences have to.

• Wisdom whispers louder than comparison ever could.

• Growth shows up in the choices we make when nobody’s watching.

We’re not the women we used to be — and thank God for that. We’re learning. We’re softening. We’re maturing. We’re catching ourselves quicker. We’re apologizing sooner. We’re thinking before we speak (most days). And when we miss it? God meets us with correction AND compassion.

See y’all in the next series — love you! 🩷

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¹ Miriam and Aaron began to talk against Moses because of his Cushite wife, for he had married a Cushite. ² “Has the Lord spoken only through Moses?” they asked. “Hasn’t he also spoken through us?” And the Lord heard this. ³ (Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.) ⁴ At once the Lord said to Moses, Aaron and Miriam, “Come out to the tent of meeting, all three of you.” So the three of them went out. ⁵ Then the Lord came down in a pillar of cloud; he stood at the entrance to the tent and summoned Aaron and Miriam. When the two of them stepped forward, ⁶ he said, “Listen to my words: “When there is a prophet among you, I, the Lord, reveal myself to them in visions, I speak to them in dreams. ⁷ But this is not true of my servant Moses; he is faithful in all my house. ⁸ With him I speak face to face, clearly and not in riddles; he sees the form of the Lord. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?” - Numbers 12:1-8 NIV

Numbers 12 opens like the first scene of a drama series — straight into the foolishness. Miriam and Aaron are suddenly talking about Moses’ wife like they’re doing a character review. And scholars point out Miriam’s name is listed first, which probably means sis was the one who started the whole thing. She was the original “Girl, let me tell you something…” of the Old Testament. She tries to make it seem like the issue is Moses’ wife. Ma’am… be serious. That was the decoy storyline. The biblical version of, “I’m not jealous, BUT…” What’s really happening is that both of them are wrestling with comparison & instead of taking that to God, they take it to each other like this is the tent‑side brunch special.

Gossip is the ministry nobody applied for, but everybody thinks they’re good at. It always starts soft: “I’m just processing,” “I’m just sharing my heart,” “I’m just trying to understand.” But the moment the voice drops, the eyes widen, or the sentence starts with “Don’t repeat this,” you have officially left the prayer circle and entered the group chat of destruction. Gossip feels like connection, but it’s really just insecurity doing cardio. And it spreads FAST! One whispered comment becomes a whole storyline, and suddenly everybody’s mad at someone who didn’t even know they were in an episode.

Miriam and Aaron were not looking for wisdom or correction. They were looking for someone to co‑sign the insecurity they didn’t want to admit out loud. And then they tried to dress it up with theology:

“Does God only speak through Moses?” “We hear from God too!”

Translation: “So what makes him so special?”

They weren’t mad at Moses’ behavior or his marriage. Moses was literally minding his business, doing what God told him to do. They were mad at Moses’ favor.

Comparison will have you irritated at someone who did nothing but obey God. It tiptoes, starting as a tiny thought, a quick glance, a “hmm.” Then suddenly you’re in a whole internal competition with someone who doesn’t even know you’re playing. Comparison convinces you that someone else’s blessing is somehow blocking yours, like God is running a limited‑edition drop and you missed the release time. It makes you forget your lane, your assignment, your oil & now you’re mad at someone who is literally just doing what God told THEM to do.

Comparison doesn’t just distort how you see others; it distorts how you see God. Suddenly God isn’t wise — He’s “unfair.” He’s not intentional — He’s “overlooking you.” He’s not sovereign — He’s “taking too long.” Comparison will have you side‑eyeing the same God who’s been carrying you, like He forgot your file on the heavenly desk. Girl… He didn’t forget. You just got distracted.

Then verse 2 hits with the line that should make EVERYBODY sit up & shut up 😅: “And the Lord heard it.” God caught all that shade they were throwing live, in real time, with full tone, full attitude, full side‑eye.

Before Miriam and Aaron can even finish their little tent‑side vent session God calls ALL THREE of them (them + Moses) to the tent of meeting (basically the tent of worship). Immediately. And when they get there, God doesn’t ease into the conversation. He pulls up in a pillar of cloud like, “Front and center — Miriam and Aaron, step forward.” Moses is standing there like the quiet kid in class who didn’t even do anything but still got called to the principal’s office.

Then God starts talking, and BABY… the tone? Sharp. Direct. Zero sugar. Zero honey. Zero gentle parenting. He basically says: “I speak to prophets in dreams and visions… BUT MOSES? That’s different. That’s ‘we talk like friends’ level. In other words: “Y’all thought this was peer‑to‑peer? It’s not.” God literally lays out Moses’ résumé in front of them like, “Let me remind you who you were talking about.” And then He hits them with the line that should’ve made their sandals melt: “Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?”

Translation: “What possessed you to run your mouths like that?”

This is the moment Miriam and Aaron realize: They weren’t just gossiping about Moses. They were disrespecting God’s choice, questioning his decision making, and critiquing the assignment he gave as if this was a democracy. He was defending His own sovereignty.

God hears the conversations we think are harmless & the motives we try to hide. And when we step like he didn’t raise us better he will realign us as the good parent he is. It’s his protection from ourselves, and reminder that his assignments are HIS, not for us to critique.

Tomorrow, we’ll see what happens when God finishes speaking and the cloud lifts. Spoiler: consequences AND mercy are both waiting. 🩷

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