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    Apparently I Read Books Now

to say I’m on here to brag really quick that I am catching myself read books… well,
That I truly am.

🥹bitch I’m proud. I haven’t opened many other apps since being here. Like what in the magic has this app downloaded into the cloud we dk where that cloud even really is at hmm nvm nvm back on track one sec)🚂

(hate me or love me for it.. world still spinning 🍦 my give a shits are .. out of stock babe)🥁💌

& it’s not just book reading. Noo babe I feel like I need a new laptop and desk. Like when someone buys workout clothes to join a gym.

Don’t act like you never moved like that.. I mean, if not… that sounds boring. Dress up as the character you want to become, I think it’s our only way🪄

🌘🌖

At times, I wish that belief would simmer. That I could just relax and have less thoughts. Now that I’ve spent 29 years in my own mind, with nowhere to run lmfao…

I will journal, yap to a friend, continue to compliment strangers. I don’t make it a goal to make others uncomfortable. But I do make it a mf priority now ~ to not allow myself to slim down just to make sure everyone else is comfortable when I know my intentions and where they came from.

Im not out here “oh I know exactly who I am miss that mf bitch she’s perf” umm no. Quite the opposite.

I am human. I am proud of my mistakes, I am a student of life, and I truly think the “know it alls” possibly know ..nothing at all🍨

Bc there is so much to learn, so much life, so many books with access to the minds of other humans with dreams, visuals, perspectives… it’s actually kind of wild

This tiny delight of rebellion

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It’s old to some, new to me.

It does feel like a part of my journal on this app where I just talk to myself, but also I get a hit of dopamine whenever I realize someone is interested in whatever tf I have to say.

Bc then it isn’t just too many tabs, then it may be..

slices at times. Soul food, I’d hope.

that’s the aim .. guess I answered myself.

I am out here bringing books in the bathtub over my phone. I’m not sure if this means I’m on to better things, I’m becoming boring too soon, or maybe it means I am always in search for meaning so much that it’s why I read and ..

Ooo.

That’s why I will read, write..

process🫟

bc I won’t even know in the middle of the mess, I am baking. As we all are.

baking something beautiful babe🎺

Find the little thing that you look forward to. The one moment you want to fill when you get 10 mins or even less to just be.. & fill it when you want to, or don’t…

but be kind to your mind bro.I’m serious, it shows up in physical ways.

You think you’re ugly? Ya look it. I’m jk LMAOBut if you believe you aren’t something, of course you aren’t babe dafuq do you mean.

have a slice, a soul, a life that is YOURS. 💃
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“You’re not a child.”

… I will be 82 eating cereal before bed, grabbing a treat at checkout for the car ride, or eating the gummy worms when I want to.

Not bc I think that health is trash and I don’t give a shit… but bc, what in the hell are we doing all having the same thoughts.

I don’t believe there is an age limit on foods. I mean I’m not going to eat b…

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How to hack substack

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And I’ll make the main ingredient misunderstood

& the bland cake that comes with leaving this ingredient out📜

I can feel my need for wanting to be understood slipping between my fingers, and as graceful as it feels, it makes me feel so bad for the version of myself that felt I only had value when I was understood.

bc bitch, do you understand you? (im star…

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Walked into the studio today and I heard the song in the background.

Pink, Don’t Let Me Get Me.

It wasn’t that normal nostalgic feeling. It was wild because I remembered I would sing it loud in my car in the past, the beat, the feminine rage, and I have a raspy voice myself so I felt I had related to her in that form. I guess bc I used to not like my voic…

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OLE JOE⚓️

🎶Dear Diary

🎹

Like a river

out in the bay,

crabs would bite ~

oh, oh, aye.

Ay, amen.

🕊️

The way I pray

for the one

whose soul would flow

like no one knows,

no one to impose on.

And then I came along.

You threw the rope.

Can’t say that was easy,

I know.

I gave you trouble,

and with my momma,

we came at you as a double.

What a wonder

you’d be one to run.

But oh, de…

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Photo by my dad, who’s a fisherman 🍰

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It’s so easy for us to forget being a beginner at something. Or just completely forget that we are all here doing the best we can. We sign contracts, we all have a number to our name and it rules everything about us somehow. It somehow will always feel like a dog tag to me.

I’m sure the world would be chaos without it, and some may stop here and think, “…

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This slice was specifically inspired by Jo’s post.

Led me to me to reveal the bitchy butterfly szn💘

I’ve told a few close people that one day I’m going to write a book. No one has ever shut me down.I was the one who shut myself down.

I’d always follow it up with, “I’ll get started… but first I need a laptop.”

Who knows what was going through their minds a…

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I know people often talk about making life feel like you don’t need a vacation from it. I know it can happen. I’m not dissing that statement at all. But there will be a certain few with nervous systems a bit similar to mine who know that every place just three hours from home… isn’t the break. Only when I’ve been out of the country has my nervous system…

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Cake of Hearts 💘

I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways I view love. Not just the ways I’ve seen it, but the ways I hope I keep giving it away.

The older I get, the less I think love lives in the big moments. I think it’s usually hiding in the little ones. The ones that don’t seem like much until years later, when you realize… those are the ones you rem…

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Honestly, I feel outside myself when I ask myself this. The thought of others asking me also makes me wonder if I know what I am doing.

As I sit with that feeling, I realize…

Who knows what they’re doing?

Ive seen the act. And hey, maybe some do live out every day with the same routine, all the expectations, and boxes checked off lists.

Are these lists you’…

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Cupcakes. Cookie cakes. Breakfast. Honestly… I don’t know.

Cake. 🍰

When I say “you,” who am I talking to?

I realized while writing this that maybe my audience has always been me.

A few years ago, I would’ve thought that sounded cheesy.

Now… I think it’s true.

Lately I’ve been paying attention to the way I speak to myself.

Not out loud.

That little voice that’…

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Woke up early. Read a bit after a 4a.m. kitchen visit because, unfortunately, I am hungry the second I am awake.

Decided I’ll journal. I keep thinking on topics, and I realized something.

I’ve probably always taken answering a topic too far…or maybe I’ve completely misunderstood what journaling even is. If I started with a topic…

Am I journaling, or am I p…

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