As we continue through this emergent moment in Coaching Corner’s story, I hope you’ll allow me to spin an unrelated quick little yarn for you.

(This is a lightly edited transcript of a voice memo I recently received from one of my best friends – who happens to be the person who introduced me to knitting.)

I’ve been working on a cable kit sweater, and really excited about it, but then I went to start the arms and the sleeve holes and – even though I tried the body on when I finished it – the sleeves are just not wide enough. I tried to pick up extra stitches, but that was gonna make it too baggy, so in order to actually make it fit I’d have to go back and undo the body and knit a size up which I just don’t feel like doing. So I finally decided I need to give up on it and I spent last night pulling it out and starting another one.

I was initially a little frustrated, but as I was slowly unraveling the hem, I started thinking about this sweater as a metaphor for a changing relationship. The fact that it required a pivot doesn’t mean that the time spent on it was not very worth it. The process of it and the stuff of it is worth repurposing into something new that doesn’t necessarily look like the original vision.

Last week, Kelly and Connie invited the rest of CC to brainstorm around the theme of creating a community of our own. There was a bit of tension in the (virtual) room before we realized that there were actually two conversations competing for our attention: 1) the future of Coaching Corner, and 2) our interest in creating our own discrete communities. We chose to focus our attention on the former (this time).

It’s an ambiguous moment for Coaching Corner. But one thing that doesn’t feel ambiguous is that there’s a lot of interest in repurposing the stuff of it. There’s a bit of buzz about the possibility of keeping the Slack community going, and/or migrating our conversations (or portions therein) to other containers. If you have thoughts and opinions about this (and I know you do), please speak up!

I’ve got two quick li’l invitations for you today – and then a few event reminders.

1. If you’re interested in participating in a conversation about the future of Coaching Corner, please consider replying to Jackie Sweeney’s thread from yesterday (Sept 2) in #01-ask.

2. I’m sourcing memories and photos for a Coaching Corner “magazine”! There will be a few li’l essays and features in there – and I’d like to include a section that feels a little bit like that part of a high school yearbook where all your pals write sweet corny notes. Add your photos here – and/or add your memories here. (I’ve included some prompts to get you going.)

I wanna see us keep going. I wanna see us evolve. I wanna stay in touch with y’all, and I want us to keep drawing in cool new like-minded people. And I hope this magazine becomes an asset that we can share with prospective new members so they can catch our vibe. But if there’s a possibility that Coaching Corner concludes, then I’d love for the magazine to serve as a souvenir of what we created together.

Because I’m damned proud of it.

You might think I look like any old string… but I’m a frayed knot.
MJ 🧶

📚 One Last Book Exchange | Thursday, September 17 @ 7pm ET / 4pm PT

💃 One Last Dance: A Community Gather | Wednesday, September 23 @ 12pm ET / 9am PT.

Q. Where’s the best place to go to learn how to run a cash register?

A. Ka-ching corner.

I just want to recognize what a miraculous thing [Kelly and Connie] have done here with this community.

If you’re honest, our relationships have a hierarchy of prioritization. And it’s usually our closest family and friends that come first. And then clients and all those little seedlings that might turn into clients go second… Then your friends from other eras of your life… Then the people that are in-person…

And then somewhere further along that list is an online Slack community that I signed up for one time, you know what I mean?

And yet even on Slack, [Kelly and Connie] still created something freaking amazing.
You fueled it with like your love and your heart and your commitment. I feel like you grew an orchid on Mars. How did you make an online community of strangers feel like this, against all odds?

Kelly and Connie deserve a ton of gratitude. They created a container for connection that feels natural, authentic, and inspiring. They brought fresh ideas and kindling every time the fire of enthusiasm dwindled. They gave it oomph, but they also stayed out of the way to let others initiate and experiment.

I’m particularly proud of Kelly and Connie for picking up a cue from Mason who Connie recalled saying “I want to like say goodbye to things before I fall out of love with them.” I’m proud of them for respecting the work — as well as themselves. They’re not slinking away, they’ve planned a terribly thoughtful sequence of events — which collectively provide a “container” in which to close our loops, make some choices, collect some contact info, sign each other’s yearbooks, and find our sense of “completeness”.

• Brainstorm: A Community of your Own — a space to speak directly about your hopes, visions, and — honestly — capacity for Coaching Corner’s future. Or, perhaps, your preference for closing it.

• One Last Book Exchange — a beloved tradition that we had to do one more time!

• One Last Dance: A Community Gather — a time for celebrating.

So thoughtful, right? I quite appreciate that there’s an excuse for buying another book… one discrete occasion for planning / negotiating / deciding and facing the uncertainty… and a different space for basking in the glow of what certainly is and was. 🪵🔥

…but then, of course, there’s also a layer of suspense and uncertainty here.

Here’s Pooja again:

I’ve been in at least two other online coach communities where the moderators stepped away and it turned into a self-moderated community. What happens if you don’t tend that?

I’ll tell you right now: It turns into a series of transactional singular posts.

“Does anyone have a recommendation for a good VA?”
“Launching this program, you guys should check it out.”
“Please engage with my LinkedIn posts.”

Crap, unless you tend it in some way.

So I just want to recognize how much work you [Connie & Kelly] have done to really, really prevent that from happening…

…and then also share that if anyone else wants to keep this community going in a self-moderated way:

Think about that apocalyptic hellscape I just described, and then think about what you might want to do to contribute towards this group to have it not be that.

Not afraid to show my hand here: I’m with Pooja (🙋🏻‍♂️), and hope the community continues on (even if I feel very clear that I’m not interested/willing to grab this particular baton). Perhaps a small team of our community members will step up; there’s nothing inherently stopping our HBO limited series from becoming a multi-season show with a long arc.

But we don’t know yet. For now we’re in limbo, where all we know is that something’s ending.

So as we sit in this moment of uncertainty… I’d like to invite you to bring at least one more log’s worth of curiosity to our fire pit. Bonfires are great ways to mark endings… whether it’s the close of a chapter or of a community.

Anyone got marshmallows?

-MJ

PS. I’ll be back with regular emails until (at least) the end of the Liu-Liu Era (October 30), and I’m planning on crafting some kind of interactive or submission-based scrapbook project. Instructions coming soon.

PPS.
Q. Where can you turn if you need help running a cash register in Norway?
A. Coaching Kroner.

Sorry for a bit of radio silence!

I started a pair of side gigs, so I’m entering “vacation mode” with the newsletter for the next month or two. What this means: You can still expect event round-up emails as-needed, but I’m taking a pause on development of detailed event previews and reflections.

This is so I can learn my new roles, adjust to the new schedule, maneuver my coaching/ghostwriting practice into a new season, and – most important of all – spend some of my summer readin’ books by the river. (I popped an AIM-style away message onto my website to this effect.)

Buuuut I’d love for this to be an opportunity for a creative / expressive member of this community… perhaps you!… to pick up the mic and guest-MJ guest-DJ the newsletter for one or more emails.

If you’d like to try your hand at penning an upcoming installment of the Coaching Corner newsletter, reply back to me (findthewordswithmj@gmail.com) with your “pitch”. For guest-DJ purposes, I recommend we stick with one of these formats:

• A preview of an upcoming event – Q&A with the host.

• A reflection from a CC happening/conversation/event.

I can provide some light editing / polishing, and Substack logistics.

This request dovetails nicely into a similarly-natured request from our CC leadership.

Kelly and Connie are actively looking for your participation in:

• Facilitating beloved rituals like Real Talk and Speed Friending. DM Kelly Liu on Slack to throw your hat in the ring.

• Participating in the “What we’re thinking about” survey to help determine the themes and initiatives we focus on next.

Complete the survey

In Kelly’s words:

For BTS talks this summer, we’re trying a new process: one where we as a community get to build the lineup together by co-creating the lineup through a brainstorm + vote.

Share your special sauce with us. It’s really fun to lead things within Coaching Corner, so if you haven’t stepped up (or if you haven’t stepped up lately), consider pitching in!

Great batch of events incoming! Check ‘em out, check ‘em out!

Catch ya later, Coaches!

The Forum: Balancing “Pure” Coaching Craft with Building a Coaching Business | Thursday, July 9 | Hosted by Dion Bullock
Rendition #2 of The Forum, this time focused on one specific topic: Come swap ideas and thoughts on some of the seemingly contradictory aspects of being a coach and building a coaching business.

Not Your Average Speed Friending | Thursday, July 16 | Hosted by Dion Bullock
Our monthly mixer for honest connection and deep listening.

Real Talk: Practice the Art of Revealing | Thursday, July 23 | Hosted by Craig Blitz
A confidential, judgment-free space to say the things you don’t usually say out loud -- because it’s one of the best things we can do for our businesses and lives. Leave feeling deeply connected, seen, and supported by your peers.

Summer Book Exchange | Friday, July 24 | Hosted by Connie Liu
One of our fave social events where you get to both give and receive a book white-elephant style

Celebrating your WINS (+ practicing acknowledgement) | Friday, July 31 | Hosted by Kelly Liu
Instead of staring at the gap, take a pause from your day to celebrate your gains -- because acknowledgment is critical to sustaining your journey.

PS. What’s the title of the forthcoming inspiring biopic in which Craig helps a trumpeter to achieve a deeper sense of fulfillment by embracing her inner renegade?

Coaching Horn-er.

Hey all -

Sunday was garden day at Salmon House and, happily, we have a TON of fruit growing on our plum tree out front.

Last year it barely bore any, so I’m excited that I’ll be able to bake some plum pies towards the end of the summer (and freeze some for a midwinter treat)!

Right now, the branches are drooping, heavy with unripe green plums, which means we have to do this sorta counter-intuitive thing and thin it out. I spent at least two hours plucking off pretty much every other fruit I could find on a given branch… and there’s still a lot more work to do!

It’d feel like a waste except for two things:

1. My landmate Josh is making maesil-cheong with some of the fruit, and we’re giving away a bunch more to our neighbors.

2. If we didn’t thin it out, we’d endanger the whole tree. (We didn’t thin the apples out enough last year, and that tree split in two!)

It’s a great li’l metaphor for the necessity of letting go. Potential can weigh you down if you hold onto too much of it too-tightly. The fact that we have the opportunity to prune means is a sign that the plums are healthy.

(See what I did there?)

“Shut up and tell us about the events, MJ.”

All right all right all right:

Upcoming Events 📆

🪞 Build your own automated AI-assisted coach review process | Friday, May 29 | presented by Aleah Warren-Tong

​“I’ll walk you through my process for creating your own custom coaching rubric using Claude + Granola (with actual prompts!), and how I get automated reviews of all my coaching sessions on a daily, monthly, and quarterly basis.”

​🕯️ Guest Fireside: The Power of Revealing | Thursday, June 4 | presented by Levina Li & Melissa Ford

As we practice revealing in CC, we've invited Levina Li and Melissa Ford, two professional coaches with three decades of combined experience running their practices, to share about what they've discovered about revealing and its power to transform their businesses and lives.

🏛️ The Forum: Community Mind Meld & Knowledge Share | Thursday, June 11 | presented by Levina Li & Melissa Ford​

Time and time again we’ve heard from you that one of the things that makes CC super valuable is the wisdom and perspective of the people in this group. This event is one way we hope to capture more of that.

🤝 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Tuesday, June 16 | presented by Kelly Liu​​

Come join us for our monthly speed friending gathering, and be in community with new friends and old. Now this isn’t your average speed friending event. The whole goal here is to DISCOVER YOUR PEOPLE, and to do it with 10x more intentionality, honesty, and depth.

🫣 Climbing Cringe Mountain: A Coach’s Guide to LinkedIn | Thursday, June 18 | presented by Joyce Lin​​

​“If your potential clients are on LinkedIn and you have a LinkedIn network, you owe it to yourself to learn how to use the tool - and then decide how you want to use it in your coaching business.

​I’ll walk through the 3 fears that I faced on my journey - and the mindset and tactical shifts that helped.”

Love from your favorite stone(d)fruit,
MJ

PS.

Q. Let’s say I live in a right triangle. Where could I go to determine the ratio of the adjacent side and the hypotenuse?

A. Cosine corner.

(😪)

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Hey coaches -

Quick one today! Wanted to make sure you’re aware of “What Makes CC Sticky?” coming up on Friday. No, it’s not an X-rated whodunnit, but nice try.

I’m clearly biased as a writer, but I believe that having the right words unlocks powerful new energy. Yes, words are often insufficient. They’re blunt objects. We never get them completely right. But they clarify, they specify, they give us a direction. A jumping-off point.

Connie and Kelly have been looking for language to describe what it is about our beloved community that makes it so, well, special. They’ve been having lots of big and little conversations about this, and identified three important common denominators that characterize Coaching Corner at its best: revealing, experimenting and acknowledging. They’re eager to open the dialogue up to the full Coaching Corner community and see what happens when we use these “pillars” to think about the future.

They hope (and I have to say I agree) that we’re joined by both longstanding members and fresh faces!

They know this about me: I’d personally like to see our community work on developing something tangible together (my nomination: a bespoke client-matching service called Coaching Concierge). But what do you want to see happen?

Join us this Thursday and share what you see!

See you there,
MJ

Upcoming Events 📆

💸 BTS Talk: Stop Using Free Coaching Calls to Sell Coaching | Tuesday, May 12 | Hosted by Pooja Venkatraman

🦎 What Makes CC Sticky? A Community Discussion on How We Built This Thing + What’s Next | Thursday, May 14 | Hosted by Connie Liu & Kelly Liu

🍑 Real Talk: Practice the Art of Revealing | Tuesday, May 19 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

🤝 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Wednesday, May 20 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

Join Coaching Corner

Hey coaches, hey.

Every once in a while I read a sentence that jolts me when I realize, immediately, this is about to change my mind.

I look away for a moment to remind myself of my previous beliefs, as though preparing to say goodbye to them. I take a minute to wonder what is going to change them.

And then I dive in — knowing, trusting, that something will.

Convince me, baby!

That’s what I felt when I saw the title of Pooja Venkatraman’s upcoming workshop.

It sizzled. Oh boy, I really thought I should be doing way more free coaching calls.

I kinda wanted to save the mind-change experience for the workshop itself, but youknowwhat I love spoilers and couldn’t resist the chance to do some pseudo-journalistic-voice-memo-ing with Pooja ahead of time.

Spoiler alert: I’m convinced. Converted. Signed, sealed, delivered.

Don’t worry: there’s still a place for free coaching calls in this philosophy! And I think there’s a case to be made for “marrying” it with Kelly Liu’s 100 Free Coaching Calls approach.

The following dialogue is a reinterpretation of voice memos that Pooja and I exchanged, edited for focus, flow, length:

MJ Halberstadt: I heard the idea for this workshop came up during a CC workshop. What’s the backstory?

Pooja Venkatraman: In a Coaching Corner Slack thread, someone was offering free coaching calls and expressed feeling frustrated about no‑shows. They were asking things like, “Should I take a deposit?” “How do people handle this?”

My take was: if my top priority is getting as many clients as possible, I’d rather have as few barriers as possible to booking a call. I’m okay with more no’s and more no‑shows if it also means more yeses.

But for that specific person, we realized getting more clients actually wasn’t their top priority right then, so the “right” advice flipped: add more barriers, create more friction.

I also said, “By the way, I have a lot of thoughts about using free coaching calls to sell coaching, and I actually don’t think that’s the most effective strategy.” A few people jumped in like, “Wait, we’re very interested in that topic—please say more.” Someone suggested a BTS talk, and that’s how this workshop idea was born.

MH: The workshop is going to look at the difference between a free coaching call and a consult call. How do you describe what those two kinds of calls are?

PV: The simplest way to think about it is:

A free coaching call is one where the client decides what we talk about: overwhelm, a tough boss, a difficult project, whatever is on their mind.

During a consult call the topic is pre-decided: should they work with you as their coach?
It’s still coaching, but the “thing we’re coaching on” is that decision.

MH: Oh gosh, I’m afraid that’d feel salesy!

PV: On a consult call, there can feel like there’s a conflict of interest – for both coach and client – even though most coaches I meet are not actually pushy or salesy. The fear of looking salesy makes them act weird on consults.

What makes consults work is when you treat them as “The first act of coaching I’m doing for you is coaching you through the decision of whether you should work with a coach at all, and whether that coach should be me.”

The coach’s goal should be to achieve the same level of neutrality as though they were helping the client make a decision about whether or not to hire a personal trainer versus a workout app versus just doing push-ups for free in their bedroom, right?

MH: Okay, that’s helpful. I get what the theoretical difference is, but how do free coaching calls and consult calls feel different from each other?

PV: A free coaching call feels like a normal coaching session. You’re in neutral coach energy, helping them with a spot problem. There’s no explicit decision about investing in coaching on the table.

With a consult call, you’re helping them think about whether or not they should work with you. And yeah, that has an implication on you, but it’s actually a great opportunity to show them you can be objective. You can hold neutral space.

Besides, it’s not fun for either of you to work with someone who’s not a good fit, so your incentives are actually tremendously aligned, even from a business perspective.

MH: Can you remind us of your coaching backstory?

PV: From ages 9 through 20, I was like: “I’m a writer.” I wrote fiction, did newspaper and mock trial, then discovered screenwriting and comedy in college and decided I was going to be a comedy screenwriter in LA, but I quickly realized this industry isn’t actually the right fit for me.

So I pivoted to business. I literally bought a blazer, went to on-campus recruiting, and said, “Hello, I would like a job in business, please.” I ended up in the corporate strategy group at Capital One, which was an incredible fit. I realized it was secretly a writing job: take ambiguous problems, structure them, gather and synthesize information, build a point of view, and then communicate and operationalize that across an organization.

From there I went to business school, did a research fellowship with Clay Christensen, did management consulting at BCG, and had a chief‑of‑staff role. I kept trying to find a home for “writer + advisor + teacher” inside corporate and academia, and it never quite fit. By 2020, I was out of ideas for how to make that work long‑term.

That’s when I stumbled into coaching by working with a couple of coaches. It was so effective, so simple, such good root‑cause problem‑solving that I was like: “This is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.”

I could see a huge gap: my friends were high-achieving, they had therapy, personal trainers, maybe ayahuasca retreats—but this particular style of structured, non‑pathologizing, forward‑looking coaching wasn’t really in their toolkit yet. I could see the business opportunity, I loved the customer (because… it’s me and my friends), and I enjoyed both the craft of coaching and the entrepreneurship of building the business.

I started my coaching practice a bit over four years ago, have been full‑time, and it’s supported my living from the start. I’ve been making six figures since I began, and my longer‑term vision is to build out more scalable products and a multi‑million‑dollar business. But the main thing is: it’s deeply aligned with my strengths, values, and how I want to live.

MH: Did you ever use free coaching calls while you were figuring out your approach? What was that like?

PV: Yes, quite a lot, in a couple of distinct ways.

At the very beginning, I did six‑week free packages with 10 people. My intention there was purely to practice three things:

• Doing consult calls

• Coaching “civilians” instead of other coaches

• Coaching over an arc of sessions, not just one‑offs

That was phenomenal practice, and I recommend something like that to new coaches. None of those people became paid clients, and I wasn’t aiming for that.

Later on, I offered a lot of “coffee chats”, and people sometimes asked at the end, “How would I work with you?”, but it didn’t translate into many clients. My conversion rate from generic free calls was essentially zero, versus 40% from consult calls.

So: free calls were great for skill-building early on; they were not effective for sales, in my experience.

MH: That’s stunning. Why are free coaching calls less effective for sales purposes? Why are they less helpful to the client?

PV: A few reasons.

They attract a different kind of situation. If you frame the call as, “Here’s an hour of free one-off coaching,” you’re gonna get someone who’s like, “Great, I have a singular problem that I would like some spot support on.”

You’re not explicitly coaching on actual goals, big urgent problems, or the investment required to solve a big problem – let alone the role coaching plays.

And it leaves the client alone with a complex decision they’re not well equipped to make. Even if they would benefit from a full package, just experiencing “a bunch of free coaching” doesn’t magically help them think through the investment of coaching. Clients don’t usually know what questions to ask themselves to accurately assess how much coaching could actually help.

MH: I see, and consult calls are structured to help them think through whether coaching (with you) is compatible with their needs.

PV: Exactly. It puts you in the position to help assess their problem, clarify what they actually want, address their concerns, and share your honest diagnosis on the spot. Whether it’s a yes or no to working with you, the goal is to get you to a really good answer that you feel good about and is as accurate as possible – just like you’d coach them through deciding whether to take a job or hire a personal trainer.

MH: How has your strategy of using consult calls shaped your practice?

PV: It’s given me a very clear view of my customer journey and made my business feel much more intentional. It’s much easier for me to design my content so that the natural next step is, “I’d like to have that decision-making conversation with you.” It also informs how I introduce myself and talk about what I do, so people see the value of a consult as a career or life “audit,” not just a sales call.

In fact, I’ve even started calling my consult a “free career audit” because a lot of my work is career and executive coaching. I say to prospective clients, “We’ll step back, look at what’s working and not working in your career, identify the gaps, and build a plan to close them.”

That’s valuable whether or not you ever hire me.

MH: Well, it’s been valuable for me, and I’m sure it will be for Coaching Corner, too!

Need more convincing? Want to learn more about how to approach consult calls? Join Pooja at Stop Using Free Coaching Calls to Sell Coaching on Tuesday, May 12.

Upcoming Events 📆

🫙 The Scary Jar: Come Get Shit Done | Thursday, May 7 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

💸 BTS Talk: Stop Using Free Coaching Calls to Sell Coaching | Tuesday, May 12 | Hosted by Pooja Venkatraman

🦎 What Makes CC Sticky? A Community Discussion on How We Built This Thing + What’s Next | Thursday, May 14 | Hosted by Connie Liu & Kelly Liu

🍑 Real Talk: Practice the Art of Revealing | Tuesday, May 19 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

🤝 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Wednesday, May 20 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

Join Coaching Corner

Hey all -

The CC newsletter’s been a little sparser lately, but rest assured I’ve got a few really cool items in the pipeline that are thiiiiiiis 🤏🏻 close to being share-able — including a Q&A with Michael Bolognino, a piece by Caroline Fay, and the Coaching Corner “welcome packet” that they’re both going into.

More on that soon!

In the meantime, I wanted to make sure that May’s events are on our radar. We got some good ‘uns! I’m particularly excited to hear Pooja’s POV about free calls… because I would really like to have my mind changed about that!

Upcoming Events 📆

🫙 The Scary Jar: Come Get Shit Done | Thursday, May 7 | Hosted by Kelly Liu
A focused, supportive space to tackle the thing you’ve been avoiding. Bring your “scary” task and let’s move it forward together. Less overthinking, more doing.

💸 BTS Talk: Stop Using Free Coaching Calls to Sell Coaching | Tuesday, May 12 | Hosted by Pooja Venkatraman
A Behind The Scenes conversation on rethinking the role of free coaching calls in your business. Expect a real, practical POV and space for discussion with others navigating similar questions.
Open to public

🦎 What Makes CC Sticky? A Community Discussion on How We Built This Thing + What’s Next | Thursday, May 14 | Hosted by Connie Liu & Kelly Liu
An open conversation on what’s working, what’s resonating, and how we continue shaping Coaching Corner together. Your perspective matters here and we’d love to hear it.

🍑 Real Talk: Practice the Art of Revealing | Tuesday, May 19 | Hosted by Kelly Liu
A confidential, judgment-free space to practice saying the things you don’t usually say out loud. No fixing. Just honest expression and being met with care.

🤝 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Wednesday, May 20 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts
Our monthly mixer for honest connection and deep listening.

✨ New Members: A welcoming space to meet others and experience CC magic for the first time.
✨ Existing Members: A chance to reconnect, spark new conversations, and build relationships across the community.

See ya there!

MJ

PS.

Q. What would we have called our community if it were founded by a flock of baby birds who organized themselves non-hierarchically?

A. Co-chick corner.

(I’m keeping this up for Connie’s sake, FYI. The “jokes” are not gonna get better from here.)

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Hey coaches, hey.

Next week, our very own Mayank Thanawala will be leading a conversation about integrating the Enneagram into his coaching.

I’ve only dipped my toe into the world of the Enneagram, so if you have no idea what that word is or why I’m capitalizing it, you’re in good company. The tl;dr is that it’s a highly dynamic personality matrix with nine types, which include:

• Ones,

• Twos,

• Threes,

• Fours,

• Fives,

• Sixes,

• Sevens,

• Eights, and

• INFJs

Very good, Erica, just making sure you were paying attention.

I figured y’all should hear about it from a better authority than me, so I exchanged some voice memos with Mayank and edited it for length and clarity:

MJ: How would you describe the Enneagram generally?

Mayank: What we do in coaching is we try to help clients identify patterns that are getting in their own way and to move past those patterns. The Enneagram is a way of mapping these patterns - like “I avoid conflict” – using nine personality “types”. When you know your type, you can say, “Oh, I’m avoiding this conflict out of a fear of this or that, and that’s based in my inner self’s desire for validation.” You notice that you’re behaving in a way that doesn’t really serve your actual goals.

The map points to inner motivations. Knowing those gives us the ability to select a growth path. For me, it’s a way of seeing myself, and – through that – a way of seeing everyone else. When somebody’s behaving a certain way, the Enneagram is a way of seeing patterns that are shortcuts to deeper understanding.

MJ: How much Enneagram familiarity do you think is necessary for accessing its growth potential?

Mayank: I love this question, because the Enneagram kinda masquerades as a fun little personality party trick, which it just definitely is not.

If somebody wants to grow, they’ve got to start by seeing themselves. At that level, any of these frameworks - MBTI, StrengthsFinder, astrology - are actually useful because they act as ways we can see ourselves and start to be more honest with ourselves. You don’t need to know much Enneagram to get that little bit of growth potential.

Where deeper knowledge comes in handy is that pretty quickly we can get to a point where we’re just validating our behaviors and making excuses rather than actually going after the patterns. You know, “I’m a type Four, so you just got to deal with it.” That’s where other frameworks sort of stop - they put you in a category and you’re forever resigned to acting a certain way.

Growth comes not just from maximizing our strengths, but from finding the things that we’re less good at, finding the motivations for those and using those to bolster ourselves. A little bit of growth with the surface level of Enneagram is just as available as with any other framework, but the potential to go deeper is mind blowing in comparison.

MJ: What’s your Enneagram type? How does your type impact how you experience the world?

Mayank: So before I answer about my type, I do want to say that the important thing about Enneagram is that there are a number of categorizations, including wings and instincts and–

MJ: Answer the question, Mayank.

Mayank: I’m a type Four, the individualist. But almost all of the interesting stuff comes out of not what bucket you’re in, but of the dynamism in the system. I can look very different from other Fours depending on level of consciousness, wings, instincts, and more.

The type Four’s holy idea is holy origin - the idea of a deeper central source of something that’s deeply true. We go around believing at some visceral level that all of the stuff we’re operating in is fake, so there’s this quest for authenticity. We’ve got this idea that there’s this greater meaning; the real world can only be a letdown. So we spend a lot of time in fantasy - that’s our fixation. As we look around and see artificiality, we experience a lot of envy for people who end up being more successful than us in this fake world.

MJ: Can you say more about what makes Enneagram distinctly useful? What makes it a growth framework?

Mayank: The Enneagram is really a multi-dimensional chart of energies. Before you can make a map useful, you have to know where you are. These nine types indicate energies we all have - Type Three is “the achiever”, but all of us can achieve. Type Seven loves new experiences, but a lot of us love new experiences. No type has a monopoly on these behaviors.

Where other personality tests are categorizing you and giving you validation to make excuses, Enneagram is about exploring the source of our emotions. Once we recognize our patterns, what other energies do we have access to? How do we get there?

The arrows you always see drawn between types are each type’s readily available energies. When we have higher consciousness, we can more easily access other energies and exercise more agency. When we are stressed and less conscious, we have less agency and our ego becomes more controlling and destructive.

MJ: On a personal note, my roommate and I are both Sixes. In what ways might that be a good or bad thing?

Mayank: The first thing I’ll say is that there are definitely no bad types…

MJ: Uh oh.

Mayank: Trust can be a really interesting thing for type Six. A lot of things are kind of anxiety-driven. It can lead to a sense of adventure – to conquer the fear -- or to withdrawing. Dynamics can exist between two Sixes where you trust each other with your lives but, at the same time, you constantly test each other a little bit to make sure that the connection is still there and trustworthy.

I wonder what it’s like when there’s a problem the two of you need to solve together. Sixes often look for an expert opinion, but then there’s a lot of questioning what is considered a viable expert opinion.

MJ: I won’t get into details about the heart-to-hearts or the discussion of where to plant the tomatoes, but… suffice it to say that a lot of this resonates.

Want to learn more about the Enneagram and how you can use it to chart a clearer course towards pattern recognition, behavior change, and, perhaps, vegetable gardening? Join Mayank at The Enneagram in Coaching and Growth on Thursday, April 23rd at 9am PT.

Upcoming Events 📆

9️⃣ The Enneagram in Coaching and Growth | Thursday, April 23 | Hosted by Mayank Thanawala

🗣️ Real Talk: Practice the Art of Revealing | Friday, April 24 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

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I wouldn’t be doing my job if I let April Fool’s Day go by without a bad joke. Here’s one I can barely get through:

How do you make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles oughta do the trick.

You came here for a preview of April events, you say? Great, me too:

Upcoming Events 📆

🫙 The Scary Jar: Come Get Shit Done | Thursday, April 9 | Hosted by Kelly Liu
A slightly more action-oriented spin on our usual bravery ritual. Bring the thing you’ve been avoiding and let’s move it forward together. Less overthinking, more doing, with support.

🤝 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Wednesday, April 15 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts
Our monthly mixer for honest connection and deep listening.
For New Members: A welcoming space to meet others and experience Coaching Corner magic for the first time.
For Existing Members: A chance to reconnect, spark new conversations, and build relationships across the community.

9️⃣ BTS Talk: The Enneagram in Coaching and Growth | Thursday, April 23 | Hosted by Mayank Thanawala
A Behind The Scenes conversation exploring how the Enneagram can support deeper client insight and personal growth. Expect thoughtful reflection, real examples, and practical ways to integrate this lens into your work.

🍑 Real Talk: Practice the Art of Revealing | Friday, April 24 | Hosted by Kelly Liu
A confidential, judgment-free space to practice saying the things you don’t usually say out loud. No fixing. Just honest expression and being met with care.

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

See ya there!

MJ

PS. In the last newsletter I quizzed you about the largest desert in the world.

The answer is Antarctica.

If that seems counterintuitive, remember that deserts are categorized because of the lack of precipitation. And though Antarctica is icy, there’s less snowfall than you might think.

PPS. Weird Halberstadt fun fact: I was once commissioned to write a stage play about climate change, and chose to write a pageant of Antarctic history. I was given a budget to hire a science consultant, and selected a glaciologist named Ruthie Halberstadt — no relation. Last I heard, she still uses my script in her class.

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Hey coaches, hey. Pipe down back there, Theresa, it’s newsletter time.

Kelly’s wheels have been turning.

After spending a few weeks traveling (including to Antarctica, which is the #1 destination spot on my wishlist), she’s been rolling out a stream of subtle and enticing updates. There’s a new channel in the neighborhood (#10-learnings-and-experiments), there’s a request for new event hosts, and subtitles lavishly adorned to the upcoming Scary Jar and Real Talk.

As any glaciologist will tell you, changes on the surface often reflect movement on a deeper level; I was curious (read: nosy) what’s underneath all these shifts.

So I asked.

The following dialogue is a reinterpretation of voice memos that Kelly and I have been exchanging, lightly edited by a real-life human person named me:

MJ: Where’s all this shifting energy coming from?

Kelly: Definitely from my own recent experience with enrollment for CC Growth Cohort. For that offering, I decided to take a prosperous coach approach to enrollment – which meant a lot of 1:1 conversations where I really slowed down and got curious about people’s yeses and nos.

So when I noticed that the number of people coming to Coaching Corner events has been feeling a lot less than before, I knew that I needed to start talking to the community about events and getting curious.

Having these sorts of conversations always feels scary at first! But I realized that if I continue to be nervous about what people’s answers might be – whether they’re a yes or a no – then I’m gonna miss what I can learn from all of the wisdom that lies in the in-between. What people are really needing, what people’s stories are, where people’s journeys are at this moment.

And with Kaylin’s encouragement, I decided to ask first with a public thread. And WOW, it wound up being such a rewarding thing to witness. People who I haven’t heard from in months or maybe ever were willing to come out of their virtual space to share behind the scenes. It gave way more color than I ever would have expected.

Coaching Corner showed me that they were ready to meet the moment and share their truth, which was such a gift.

MJ: What did you learn?

Kelly: Between the responses to that thread and the learnings in the Growth Cohort, it’s clear that people come here to be deeply supported, to find belonging, and to learn from the vast perspectives and stories we have here.

Our community is filled with brilliant and curious people. There are obviously much more polished resources available out there, but they come from people we don’t know personally. There’s something so special about learning from peers who are trying things in all different ways, and who are willing to share all the nitty gritty details underneath.

MJ. Why did you start the new #10-learnings-and-experiments channel?

Kelly: Deep sharing about our biz dev processes has, up to now, really only occurred during the Behind the Scenes (BTS) talks, which our events team only has capacity to run maybe once a month.

Meanwhile, a lot of our members are only able to engage with Coaching Corner asynchronously and on Slack, which means they haven’t really been getting that exposure.

This new channel is a space where people can start sharing their processes more freely, and nominate each other to share too. People here have far more genius than they even realize. I hope that with this channel, folks will be able to release worries about the quality of their share, and that we’ll get more perspectives out there.

MJ: You recently added subtitles to two of our upcoming recurring events. On March 27th we’re having Real Talk: Practice the Art of Revealing – and on April 9th we’ll have The Scary Jar: Come Get Shit Done. Divisive language, perhaps. Can you tell us about what these mean to you?

Kelly: I realized that they were feeling similar and that I needed to differentiate them. Asha B. shared that the Scary Jar didn’t feel applicable to practical work and problem-solving – but that was what it originally was supposed to be! The next Scary Jar will trust people to show up ready to do scary work together for an hour.

That changes expectations: now it’s about coming in with a task in mind, versus brainstorming something during the session. And don’t worry – it won’t be just grindy serious work – we’ll definitely be taking time to share and gripe and let it allllll out, because that’s what lets the scary work start flowing.

As for Real Talk, I wanted people to know that this hour is about more than just sharing our feelings for our own sake. Getting good at sharing your feelings and revealing what you normally hide is a critical skill for our clients to creates lives of deep alignment! Because surprise surprise, working on yourself is also doing work for your business :P We just sometimes need a more obvious reminder of the connection between life and business.

MJ: I know the Growth Cohort is a private space and an experiential offering, but can you give us a delicious morsel?

Kelly: During the first session, I shared an audio clip from Steve Chandler about the difference between expectations and agreements.

Expectations are sort of secret. They’re things we bring in with us, ways we think things are going to be, that are almost never said out loud. We wait for others to meet/not meet them, we sit in the passenger seat. Chandler’s whole thing is that expectations actually are super toxic because you either feel neutral when they’re met – or resentful when they’re not. It’s never a positive experience.

But when we commit to agreements together, we create a shared sense of responsibility and ownership of the thing we’re creating. We can revisit agreements over time, add more, let some go.

With that in mind, we opened our growth cohort with a process of identifying agreements we want to hold in our space together, so that we can really create a powerful container for transformation and for deeply holding each other – both in terms of our business and also in terms of our life.

The agreements that we created were really quite expansive for us. They were things like: a commitment to revealing. A commitment to sharing how we feel. To be in moments of discomfort that come up when we share things we normally hide. We agree to each have 100% ownership – meaning that you do what you need to do (hunger needs, bathroom breaks) to come to this space ready to play. There’s a commitment to be here to serve each other and not just take.

We’ve had one meeting so far and it’s already setting the stage for so much depth and growth together. I’m truly so fucking excited for what’s to emerge in each of our lives in these next four months.

MJ: What’s surprised you about Coaching Corner lately?

Kelly: The conversation around events!! It showed me that the community steps up and is really honest when you invite it. It’s been incredible to realize how deeply ingrained our commitment to candor here really is.

Thanks for the voice memos, Kelly!

Pop quiz: what is the largest desert in the world?

The answer will be in next week’s newsletter (and is easily Google-able.) Hint: you can find it somewhere in this email.

Upcoming Events 📆

🗣️ Real Talk: Practice the Art of Revealing: | Friday, March 27 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

🫙 The Scary Jar: Come Get Shit Done | Thursday, April 9 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

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Coaches, coaches, huddle up.

Popping into your inboxes quickly and early this week so I can boost a community-led event happening THIS Wednesday.

I wanna see more of this kind of thing by the way! I love a niche event! I love niche events for other people’s niches because that tells me that their niche is getting scratched, and reminds me that I should probably find a way to scratch my own niche.

Jordana Heller has kindly taken the lead on organizing an engineering coaches roundtbale — this Wednesday, March 18th, 11:30am-12:45pm. You can register here.

“All present are invited,” according to her post, so it sounds pretty friendly. But if you’re like “hey, my niche should have a roundtable!” let this be your inspiration. ☄️

I’ve got a million other things to do, bye,
MJ

Upcoming Events 📆

🤝 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Wednesday, March 18 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts

💻 Engineering Coaches Roundtable | Wednesday, March 18 | Hosted by Jordana Heller

🗣️ Real Talk: What Hasn’t Been Said | Friday, March 27 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

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Coaches, coaches —

Mark Josephson might love Granola the way I love my Everything Bagel.

I started building the Everything Bagel because I live in my head all the time, and I’m constantly remembering things and coming up with ideas and I need a place to put them all – such that I can let them go and trust that they’ll reappear in front of my face at the right time. Notebooks didn’t do the trick. A simple list didn’t do the trick. Telling people “remind me to get milk and also to reread Kelly’s Substack and also to send my client the book Reach” didn’t do the trick.

After I read the (actually really helpful) book Building a Second Brain, I decided to design a scrappy but effective system in my Notion dashboard. It’s held together with the most rudimentary automations, but it does exactly what I need it to do. Anything I think of can go into the Bagel – and once I tag it with one of 14 categories, it dashes off to the right page so that I can be reminded of it at the right time.

It’s my optimistic spin on the everything bagel from Everything Everywhere All at Once, which the villain Jobu Tupaki describes thusly:

I got bored one day - and I put everything on a bagel. Everything. All my hopes and dreams, my old report cards, every breed of dog, every last personal ad on craigslist. Sesame. Poppy seed. Salt. And it collapsed in on itself. ‘Cause, you see, when you really put everything on a bagel, it becomes this. The truth: nothing matters.

Like Jobu’s bagel, I can let things go. But in my bagel… everything matters.

On the other side of the breakfast table, Mark is using Granola. Granola is, among many other things, a note-taking app – but for Mark, it’s more than that. An indispensable tool that helps him be singularly focused on his clients.

Watch the first few minutes of the recording from his workshop last week, and you’ll immediately see that the respect is clear and deep. It’s not a shiny, impressive toy; it’s a technology that he uses to be present in the ways that matter to him.

From his summary: “A big theme was presence: using Granola so you don’t have to split attention between the person in front of you and your notepad, while still having reliable records and commitments captured in the background.”

Mark’s workshop has lessons that are platform-agnostic, so I think it’s worth checking out the recording even if you’re not Granola-curious. (In fact, I prefer Otter because it records audio, and vocal inflection is very important for my writing/editing.)

May you all have a tool or system that you love as much as Mark loves Granola and I love the Everything Bagel.

Frittata and coffee every day,
MJ

Upcoming Events 📆

🫙 The Scary Jar: Bravery Practice | Thursday, March 12 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

🤝 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Wednesday, March 18 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts

🗣️ Real Talk: What Hasn’t Been Said | Friday, March 27 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

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And just like that, it’s the home stretch of the first quarter of the year.

ARE YOU ON TRACK TO HIT ALL OF YOUR KPIs?!

Hahaha me either.

But seriously: now’s a good time to step back. Reflect on the start of the year. Notice where your approach needs zhuzhing. See where your intentions want revising.

Some of our favorite CC traditions are back in March — plus an intro to a note-taking tool that I’m told can be customized with your favorite spices, nuts, and dried fruits.

Upcoming Events 📆

🥣 BTS Talk: How I use Granola to take better coaching notes | Friday, March 6 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts & Mark Josephson

In this session, Mark walks through exactly how they use Granola as their everyday note-taker and coaching companion. This isn’t a deep-dive into automation or AI, it’s a practical, hands-on look at how they capture, organize, and get the most out of their coaching sessions using Granola.

🫙 The Scary Jar: Bravery Practice | Thursday, March 12 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

​Fear is often what stands between us and the work we most want to do. So come join us for our monthly bravery practice we call The Scary Jar - an exercise that is sure to take you to your growth edge

🤝 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Wednesday, March 18 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts

​The whole goal here is to DISCOVER YOUR PEOPLE, and to do it with 10x more intentionality, honesty, and depth.

🗣️ Real Talk: What Hasn’t Been Said | Friday, March 27 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

The places we hide or judge ourselves are often the same ones that block us from showing up fully for our clients and our next level of growth. This gathering is an invitation to bring what’s been sitting quietly inside you into the light. The things you haven’t allowed yourself to say—out loud, to others, or even to yourself.

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

A non-coach might offer their humble two cents of advice, but when Johann provides some mindset-shifting support, it’s at least 12x as valuable.

You might call that a… Coaching Quarter.

(🤨)

See ya!

MJ

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Coaches, coaches —

Earlier this month, Jori posed an essential question in the #02-ask channel:

The responses are full of CC’s signature qualities: candor, measuredness, and self-awareness. A few common denominators emerged:

• An “aha!” moment.

• An “I’d been coaching all along” throughline.

• The privilege of having a (financially and emotionally) supportive partner.

• A passion for helping people.

• A need to do work that has purpose.

I have my own version of this story. Back in 2016, I left a cushy job working in college admission, after receiving a promotion that included responsibilities I didn’t want and excluded ones I’d specifically asked for. I felt misunderstood and decided I’d rather follow my heart and scrap things together as an adjunct professor – the first step in the journey that currently presents as my coaching/doula-ing practice.

I felt like I’d picked up Super Mario’s power star; I was smug and very privileged (and I was newly married). But anyone who’s played Mario Kart knows that if you spend long enough in first place, the blue shell catches up to you. In this season of my life, when it’s a lot harder to say “I’ve got this round", it’s becoming more and more tempting to regret the decision to cut loose.

In the thread, Theresa Aristarco re-shared the insightful article she wrote about the journey that led to her breakthrough. She describes the shock of having an emotional breakdown after the relief of taking a sabbatical from a burnout-inducing job.

The anxiety I had been avoiding ballooned and became all-consuming…. In retrospect, my body was screaming at me to tend to my mental health, as I had my physical health. But I didn’t see the gravity of the situation I was in.

In other words, the grass may “seem greener” or whatever… and yet our bodies often know better.

(Side note: I got to meet Theresa earlier this week during my thrown-together li’l trip to Seattle!)

Jori asked her question because she was interested in how the choice to be(come) a coach has so much to do with the importance of money and stability.

This isn’t a binary, of course — and money + stability are not exactly the same thing. Paddling your own canoe is constantly shaky, but “unsinkable” luxury ships crash harder. Meanwhile, some of us living under capitalism never had stability to turn down, or the luxury of deciding whether or not money was “important” to us.

I think my point is that – surprise, surprise! – we’ve all come to coaching for different reasons. It’s actually kind of a shallow common denominator for us to have. For some it’s a lovely bonus side project. For others it’s the only stability we’ve ever known. For others it’s a counterbalance to a thankless career. For still others it is the full-time, stable role. And it’s possible that, for many of us — especially amidst so much industry disruption and global disaster — it will become a luxury we cannot afford.

What I do know is that it helps to have others along as we navigate these choppy seas. And that’s what Coaching Corner provides: fellow travelers ready to shine a light or pick up an oar or point you to the shore.

Ahoy matey,
MJ

Upcoming Events 📆

🗣️ Real Talk: What Hasn’t Been Said | Friday, February 27 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

🥣 BTS Talk: How I use Granola to take better coaching notes | Friday, March 6 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts & Mark Josephson

🫙 The Scary Jar: Bravery Practice | Thursday, March 12 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

🤝 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Wednesday, March 18 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

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In 2008, I was an undergraduate student interning at a theatre company that produced a musical called [title of show]. (That’s not a typo, by the way. The name of the show is, truly, [title of show]. Yes, with the square brackets.) The plot revolves around a pair of friends as they write… well, the show you’re watching. And they’re working within scrappy means. The characters (and, well, the actors) are only using a keyboard and four chairs. And they wrestle with the question of whether or not anyone’s going to like a show that’s so meta and niche and low-budget.

I don’t remember much about the show (outside of my crush on one of the okay fine, both of the lead actors)… except for the penultimate song “Nine People’s Favorite Thing”.

Some lyrics from it:

When we set out to write this musical
We said we’d write a show that we wanna see
We knew we’d never please everyone
Remember that day at Gristedes
You said to me
You said to me

I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing
Than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing
Nine people’s favorite thing
Than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing

It’d been a while since I’d actually listened to the song, but I was compelled to go back and listen to it right after Craig’s BTS talk “1000 True Fans”, which was named after Kevin Kelly’s viral article from 2008.

(Yes, 2008! The year I was interning at SpeakEasy Stage! Cue X Files theme!)

Using LinkedIn metrics as a measuring stick, Craig shared about how true “fans” are different than “observers” (who might throw you a thumbs up) or “engagers” (who might comment) or even “ambassadors” (who aren’t great matches, but love and get what you’re doing and support you indirectly).

Fans are the people who like you when you’re being yourself. They’re picking up what you’re putting down. They’re the small but mighty minority of people who would call you their favorite thing and, yes, make an investment in order to work with you.

I’ve noticed that a lot of coaches are terrified to niche. “I need to take what I can get.” or “It’s too early to close any doors.” It’s like the three words I most hate seeing on dating apps: “Down for whatever.”

But Craig’s talk invited us to value the people who are drawn to our authentic selves. After all, if you have to primp and posture to attract someone, they’re gonna expect that degree of primping and posturing forever. That’s the version of you they like – the effortful people-pleaser. And then they expect and demand that version of you, the one that is inherently effortful.

Not the you who comes naturally.

Later in the song, the character Susan sings:

I am eight years old in Ohio
It is time for the annual church bazaar
There’s a cake-baking contest
I am going to be the big star
But I don’t want to make a German chocolate
And a seven-layer I’ll never complete

So I show up with pride this morning
With a tray of Rice Krispie treats
And they try to push them aside
Say that they are too strange to compete
And sure, most of the judges award the red velvet
But one picks the Rice Krispie treats
Let our show be the Rice Krispie treat

I’d forgotten about this lyric. And it slaps for this occasion.

As a person who is inclined to go deeply out of my way to bake decadent and complex pies that require rolling out dough the night before, parbaking the crust separately, cooking the filling and allowing it to chill, purchasing specialty ingredients… the thing that people ask me for, over and over again…

…are the Rice Krispie treats that I can throw together in under 10 minutes.

You’re my favorite treats,
MJ

PS. Click here to watch the recording of Craig’s talk.

Upcoming Events 📆

🤝 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Tuesday, February 17 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts

💪 One-off Mastermind: A peek into the CC Growth Cohort | Wednesday, February 18 | Hosted by Kelly Liu & Connie Liu

🫙 The Scary Jar: Bravery Practice | Thursday, February 19 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

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Ah, February! We’ve gotten through the darkest periods of the year, me and my fellow Northern Hemisphereans (up top, guys! Literally!) 🙌🏻

The month itself might be short, but as far as Coaching Corner’s concerned, it’s full of workshops and talks — including some unique and interesting one-offs, and iterations of some fan favorites.

Upcoming Events 📆

💡 BTS Talk: 1000 True Fans | Monday, Feb 9 @ 9–10am PST
Host: Craig Blitz
A Behind The Scenes biz talk on building a sustainable coaching business by focusing on resonance over reach. We’re really excited to hear Craig’s perspective on this and hope you’ll join us for a thoughtful, grounding conversation. This event will be recorded.

🎉 Not Your Average Speed Friending Tuesday, Feb 17 @ 9-10am PST
Host: Kaylin Aarts
Our monthly mixer for honest connection and deep listening.
New members: a warm welcome and intro to the community. Existing members: a chance to reconnect and meet new people

🧠 One-off Mastermind: A Peek into the CC Growth Cohort | Wednesday, Feb 18 @ 10-11:30am PT
Hosts: Kelly Liu & Connie Liu
A mastermind experience to get a real feel for the CC Growth Cohort. Expect deep honesty, values-aligned reflection, and support that stretches you in service of your truest vision.

💛 The Scary Jar: Bravery Practice | Thursday, Feb 19 @ 9-10am PT
Host: Kelly Liu
Our monthly bravery ritual. Bring the thing you’ve been avoiding and leave with one small, supported step forward.

✨ Celebrating WINS: A Workshop on Being Seen | Tuesday, Feb 24 @ 9-10:30am PT
Host: Kaylin Aarts
A space to publicly name your wins, receive deep acknowledgment from peers, and practice being visible without minimizing yourself.

🗣️ Real Talk: What Hasn’t Been Said | Friday, Feb 27 @ 9-10am PT
Host: Kelly Liu
A confidential, judgment-free space to share what’s been sitting quietly inside you. No fixing. Just being held with care and respect.

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

Q. What do you call it if Sahana limited her practice to clients living in Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, southern Minnesota, eastern Nebraska, and parts of Missouri, Ohio, and South Dakota?

A. Coaching Corn Belt.

See ya!

MJ

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Hi all -

A bit of a stream of consciousness follows. Spoiler alert: my thinking has been kind of disorganized because, well, that’s a normal reaction to national + global tragedies.

I was catching up on Coaching Corner’s recent chat history and a thread in #02-ask (from all the way back on January 15th) caught my eye. It begins with a great question from Dre:

The responses are great. Lots of different takes, zooming in on different aspects (especially the phrase “just this season”), offering solutions on different levels, informed from a lot of different types of intelligence.

And I don’t need to wade into the discussion (book coaching means that my client work always has an organizing principle 😎) but it sent me back to a conversation that I had a couple weeks ago:

I was getting tacos with my friend Steven, who I’ve known since we were 6-year-olds on Long Island, but who I haven’t seen since my high school graduation in 2007. He moved to Portland last summer, and we were finally getting together to catch up on, well… 20 years of backstory. And to learn who we’d each become in that time.

He has a very structured job. He is a director of data analytics.

I tried describing what I do. Which is… less structured than his job.

Steven asked me, “How do you decide what you do on a given day?”

Which took me aback as a really good question, and one that I couldn’t cough up a coherent answer to, not two beers in, though I tried.

I said something about having some rituals for identifying priority tasks in a given week, but also a lot of built-in wiggle room. I have some recurring appointments and some recurring windows I reserve for one-offs. But also sometimes I flake off to the climbing gym or find myself in a writing groove, which can happen at any time, day or night.

In short, it was an incoherent non-answer.

“Cool,” he said, politely. “And how’s your brother? Is he still in California?”

The next night I was at my favorite dance party (Twirl) with my best friend. As the drag performances were getting started, he asked me how tacos with Steve were.

“Good!” I said in a way that didn’t convince him.

“What happened?”

The question was still stuck in my teeth. “He asked me how I decide what to do in a day.”

“Huh,” he said.

The drag queen Jenna DuMay was bracing herself to shove a whole hot dog in her face (without messing up her lipstick), but I was still stuck on that question. Watching, but not really watching, as she fed the next wiener to an adoring fan. How do I decide?

Because I can often relate to Andreanna’s client “I don’t know what would be helpful to focus on today.”

Last weekend, I was in the middle of a marathon of food prepping, while fighting a cold, and already kinda raw about some relationship-inal drama, when I learned about Alex Pretti. I didn’t cry, not until the cabbage was in the oven and the frittata was safely on a potholder and the stew liquid had cooked down, only then did it all come pouring–

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK WHY BOTHER? WHAT’S THE POINT? WHAT AM I DOING?

I don’t know what would be helpful to focus on today.

Because: spoiler alert: this isn’t just a this season of life question. It’s an every single day question.

And then I remembered and re-read the thread in #02-ask.

The replies offer insights that are helpful for any of us in periods where we’re missing a sense of structure and direction.

Grounding exercises. Time back. Acceptance of “all over the place”. Free-writing. Automated reminders to reflect. Body-based inquiry.

So… thank you, everyone. For reminding us that there are ways to notice, know, decide, and proceed.

Take care of your hearts, all. Thank you for being a part of this supportive, symbiotic experience with me.

MJ

Upcoming Events 📆

🤩 BTS Talk: 1000 True Fans | Monday, February 9 | Hosted by Craig Blitz

🤝 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Tuesday, February 17 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts

💪 One-off Mastermind: A peek into the CC Growth Cohort | Wednesday, February 18 | Hosted by Kelly Liu & Connie Liu

🫙 The Scary Jar: Bravery Practice | Thursday, February 19 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

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Hi all -

If you haven’t already considered joining Coaching Corner’s upcoming Growth Cohort, you’ll want to read this email.

Last week, Kelly facilitated a “One-Off Mastermind” as a sneak peek into the vibe and purpose of the cohort. The vibe I’m getting is that it’s offering a concentrated (as in orange juice) and clarified (as in butter) version of what Coaching Corner does best.

It began the way so many CC events do: coaches were given the opportunity to describe challenges and opportunities they’re facing.

And then it took a turn: the person who shared the challenge went off video, giving everyone else the chance to talk about the person’s challenge without seeing them—and giving the coach the chance to observe a discussion about their challenge from a place of removal.

Coaches who attended described it as provocative and activating in completely novel ways. One attendee said it “activated my brain to think about things differently”.

The difference? Kelly et al weren’t coaching the person sharing the challenge. The impact went far beyond solving one person’s problem – it touched upon the meta-level of the interactions that happened when everyone talked about the challenges without addressing the problem-haver.

Other attendees described that it felt like taking a step back to notice the advice or observations they each shared – and how those resonated with things they needed to notice in their own business and life as well.

From Kelly:

Even during one call, I could already see the impact of being able to share space with so many other coaches that have ambitious ideas for their businesses and who share the same values of wanting to build their business in a way that isn’t just grinding, but is really being authentic to our values and our process.

But it’s clear to me that this is the start of something bigger. We could feel that there was so much more depth that we could go if only we were to be able to continue with this group.

The level of honesty and deep understanding that allows us to see each other’s blind spots and trust each other… that would only grow with time.

If you’re enticed but want a chance to actually experience it, you have one more chance on February 18th.

And you can learn more about the Growth Cohort here, or by DMing Kelly or Connie.

Ta for now,

MJ

Upcoming Events 📆

🤩 BTS Talk: 1000 True Fans | Monday, February 9 | Hosted by Craig Blitz

🤝 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Tuesday, February 17 | Hosted by Kaylin Aarts

💪 One-off Mastermind: A peek into the CC Growth Cohort | Wednesday, February 18 | Hosted by Kelly Liu & Connie Liu

🫙 The Scary Jar: Bravery Practice | Thursdsay, February 19 | Hosted by Kelly Liu

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

Join Coaching Corner

On Monday, Kaylin and I hosted a BTS Talk called Collaborate Your Way to Better Content. It was cute. We made lots of theatre references because Kaylin and I both attribute our love for collaboration to our backgrounds in ~*~*drama*~*~.

I don’t think we cracked the code on content strategy for all people in perpetuity and throughout the universe, but I think (hope!) a few folks got something out of it.

But as I sit down to recap it for you, I’m noticing that there’s something that I didn’t take the time to emphasize during the talk, which I wish I had. And, well, dammit I write the newsletter so I can ret-con when I want to.

That thing is this: it is just plain nice to create something with another person.

Exhibit A: It was much easier and more pleasant and energy-efficient to co-facilitate that thing with Kaylin than the workshops I’ve scrapped together on my own. (Well, I can only speak from my perspective 😅)

Exhibit B-D: Producing plays was fun. Ghostwriting a book was awesome. Kaylin enjoys co-writing The New HQ’s Substack newsletter with Leslie.

For so many of us, content creation is a chore because it’s one more GD thing in this crazy world of being a coach that we have to figure out how to do. But a lot of us insist on doing it alone because if it’s this hard to do it on our own, how much harder is it gonna be to do it while dealing with other people? L’enfer, c’est les autres, amirite?

You’ve gotta do a little bit of designing and wrangling and casting the right person for the part, but once you do that, having someone to work with can be so so so symbiotic. That’s why I like writing this newsletter about 10x more than the one I write, by myself, for my own practice. (Which probably suggests I need to take my own advice here, but a boy can really only juggle so many projects right now, okay!)

What’s your content strategy pain point? What’s the thing you know you need to do but hate doing? Which social media platform makes you feel like a sad, skinny child in a too-cold swimming pool who just wants (mandatory) free swim to be over?

If you’re stuck in the pool, consider using the buddy system.

That’s what I meant to say.

Next week, I expect to recap some takeaways from today’s Mastermind and Growth Cohort sneak peek.

‘til then, try to avoid collaborating like Frank and Charley.

Upcoming Events 📆

🌙 Workshop: Dream Visioning Lab | Friday, January 16 | Hosted by Kelly Liu
A guided session to imagine the year you want to create. Come ready to slow down, dream a little bigger, and translate your ideas into something you can feel and follow.

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

Join Coaching Corner

Happy new year, all!

Throughout the channel I see tenderness, excitement, grief, and a whole lot of care for each other. All emotions that feel right on time as we dive into a new year of fresh challenges, questions, opportunities, wins, surprises, and connections.

Thanks for being a part of a community where all of these feelings and experiences belong.

I’ve received the feedback that one of the most important aspects of this newsletter for many of you is the consistent reminder of upcoming events in your email inbox.

I get it: for some reason, I’m personally much more inclined to add something to my calendar if I learn about it in an email, as opposed to on Slack. Can’t explain it.

Moving forward, I’m going to devote the first newsletter of each month to a round-up of upcoming events. I’ll also continue to include non-descriptive reminders at the bottom of other newsletters.

Most importantly, these monthly event round-up newsletters will mark the return of my deeply bad Coaching Corner puns. These’ll go at the end.

Gee, I wonder if any cool workshops are happening in January?

Upcoming Events 📆

💛 The Scary Jar: Bravery Practice | Thursday, January 8
Our signature bravery ritual is back. Bring something that feels stretchy or mildly terrifying in your work and leave with encouragement, accountability, and a spark of courage to carry into January.

🎥 BTS Talk: Collaborate your way to better content | Monday, January 12
A Behind The Scenes conversation on how collaboration can unlock more ease and better ideas in your creative process. Expect honest examples, practical tips, and permission to make content in a more human way. Open to non-members.

🎉 Not Your Average Speed Friending | Wednesday, January 14
Our monthly mixer for honest connection and deep listening.
For New Members: A welcoming space to meet others and experience Coaching Corner magic for the first time.
For Existing Members: A chance to reconnect, spark new conversations, and build relationships across the community.

🌱 One-off Mastermind A peek into the CC Growth Cohort | Wednesday, January 14
We’re launching a new group experience to support people who want to play bigger in their business in the new year, while also staying true to their values. This session is your chance to get a feel for what being part of this cohort may feel like.

🌙 Workshop: Dream Visioning Lab | Friday, January 16
A guided session to imagine the year you want to create. Come ready to slow down, dream a little bigger, and translate your ideas into something you can feel and follow.

Subscribe to our calendar here to stay up-to-date on all our upcoming events.

Q. What do you call it when Yooni helps you adopt a growth mindset while you design and place a commemorative first brick on a new construction project?
A. Coaching Cornerstone.

See ya!

MJ

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