It is sad to say but I haven’t loved Paris. It’s hard to describe but it’s not a place that I’ve been super ecstatic about.

Recently I’ve had it where I desire to try new things there in hopes to enjoy it even more. I saw this video on tik-tok in which there is a cafe that they have paper supplies and an envelope in which you can write yourself a letter to receive in either 1 year, 5 years, or 20 years. I joked that I may not be wrong in 20 years (people didn’t find that funny, but it’s kind of true!) When you know that Jesus is coming again, I can’t count on writing a letter to myself for 20 years from now 😉

To be honest I didn’t have super high expectations going in, kind of on purpose, because I didn’t want to be let down. I thought it might just be a money making opportunity that they have people post on social media.

Wow was I wrong. It was SO FUN!!! They have you pick out a card for yourself based on the selection at hand and they also give you a coffee or beverage of choice in order to enjoy while you write.

It’s hard to explain but this activity was so so fun. In fact I thought, “maybe I could come back every time I’m here and write a letter to myself”, haha! The cafe is called Cafe Pli and I highly recommend it! ♥️🇫🇷

As I was about to board my flight from San Francisco to Redding CA, I turned the corner and was met with stairs going down to the tarmac. I always have 3 bags with me so I was met with feeling like it was a bummer to lug these 3 bags down the stairs.

Immediately I hear a woman yelling from afar: “come here!” “Use this elevator!” As I turned, I looked and said, “wow I know you!” Here it was Havilah Cunnington, a prominent speaker/preacher from Bethel who travels around giving talks. As I got on the plane, Havilah and her husband were sitting right next to me. As we waited about 30 minutes for our plane to take off and as the flight attendants were doing their safety video, I asked Havilah how she first started speaking and she told me all of the details and shared stories with me and we conversed back and forth. It truly did feel like a divine appointment. Out of all of the people I could have ran into, I ran into a prominent speaker.

The reason why I mention this is because I’ve felt like I would speak one day and I’ve oftentimes told others that I know I will have a speaking career one day. Recently the Lord has been putting it on my heart to pursue this dream of mine and it scares the heck out of me! I’m currently fighting through imposter syndrome, feeling like no one would ever want to say yes to me coming to their church and that none of it is possible. The reality with me is that I always pursue my dreams. Worship busking on the streets was a major dream that I am so proud of myself for putting myself out there to achieve. Now the last dreams that I have besides crossing off some destinations from my bucket list is to speak & lead worship after giving a talk and writing a book. Then I would have pursued all of my dream which I feel like very few people can say that they have done that! + I want to have more fun & opportunities from social media but that’s okay if that never comes true.

It feels bold to be putting these desires out there for everyone to read. If you could please pray for me and this speaking career, I actually have done a few talks on Sister Clare Crockett and I keep coming back to this woman who came up to me after and said, “hey I felt the Holy Spirit stop me as I was leaving and had me turn back to come tell you that you have a gift of speaking and I felt the Holy Spirit speaking through you”. I KNOW that this is true, that God has given me the gift of speaking and I keep going back to this woman’s words. The reality is that the topic I want to start talking about is incredibly powerful and the enemy doesn’t want me to talk about it which is why I’m experiencing so much spiritual warfare.

My goal is to start contacting parishes to see if I can be put on their calendar for the winter. If you could please pray for me, I’m afraid of rejection as a priest I know well told me no one one of my past talks and of course I want everyone to say yes but this is not the reality. I just realized that it will be good for me to get this emails out sooner than later because having them scheduled will encourage me to draft the message. Once I start the process I am hopeful that this ministry will keep advancing. The irony of this post is that this was about stating that I went to a school for worship, but I came out of it with a sign that I am meant to start speaking…then worship should hopefully fall in line with that. Thank you for your prayers in advance and if you know any groups or churches that would love a public speaker, let a girl know 😉 I actually started drafting the message while at this conference and I felt the fire of God on it, hallelujah! 🔥

Wow fam…a LOT has happened since I’ve last happened and I firstly wanted to start out by stating that I will certainy be making up for lost time by posting a LOT more on here because I gave the Lord 6 months away from social media. From someone who has been addicted to social media for most of my life, this was a) an amazing milestone of self-discipline, dying to myself and my desires, and quite frankly, getting my life back!!! I am SO excited to share more about what the Lord has been teaching me on this end, after the 6 months is over. So come November I think I will be back to content creation as I truly LOVE it and I thrive on creativity, but my “behind the scenes” will be looking much different. I’ve always said that I wanted to be more of a creator and less of a consumer and that is truly coming into fruition in front of my eyes—the Lord just had to teach me MANY lessons and LOTS of trying times along the way in order to get here…

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That all shifted for me a few weeks ago. I was leaving chu…

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There is a man that lives in my neighborhood who desperately needs our prayers. Please pray for Paul. He is the sweetest man in the entire world. I first met Paul this past summer and we grew an instant relationship.

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I write to you this week to please ask for your prayers. You see, I really struggle in NYC in the winter, specifically in January and February.

I just went somewhere this weekend and the thought of moving came to mind. I’ve been struggling to know of whether this thought is from the Lord or not.

I just struggle with the thought of moving to 2 different places that I have in my mind because I have moved a lot and I finally felt like I found my place. NYC has provided a LOT of answered prayers so it really makes me hesitate.

Everywhere else I’ve lived I’ve felt like I was more hungry for the Lord than those around me. Or my dreams have felt too big for my surroundings. I moved to NYC and I met HUNGRY people after the Lord, and there are SO SO SO many beautiful faith-filled opportunities around me. I remember when I first moved here I was introduced to a community and as I stood there I thought, “this is everything I have been desiring!”

I say that but these realities hit: I REALLY struggle with how grey and cold it gets each winter. I don’t want to dislike where I live for 4 months out of the year. I THRIVE on sunshine and I have a feeling that my thoughts might change this next week when it becomes 60 and 70 degrees outside. Another huge factor is that I feel overstimulated living in NYC. My commute into the airport is a lot. Having 3 different bags transporting on the subway while faced with different sounds, never knowing if I’ll experience a show or terrible smell on the train, etc. Recently I’ve been realizing how to reset my nervous system and I think that my nervous system has been shot since living in NYC. It’s hard because I kind of thrive with people around me and I like having so many people around, yet I get overstimulated walking the streets and taking public transportation.

Friendships are also much different in NYC. You do not get together as frequently as you might in a smaller, more “normal” location. This weekend when I visited a very familiar place of my past, I realized how much EASIER life would be. Just simply going on a grocery run—I would actually have groceries in the fridge. Most of the time I don’t have food in my fridge because it just feels like a lot of effort to even grocery shop in NYC. This has been something I have honestly been terrible at since living in NYC. If you also know of my living situation in NYC, I live in a TINY TINY box. I am someone that is really impacted by my surroundings so I KNOW that this has had a big impact on my life. I do desire a more spacious, beautiful place.

Basically I LOVE all of the opportunities that NYC provides, especially after being involved in a very Holy Spirit filled church. I know that I would HAVE to be connected to a super Holy Spirit filled church in the future. This has enhanced my life and I know I cannot go without in the future.

I’ve honestly been obsessing over this possible future decision and I have been practicing how to refocus my energy to not “figure it out”, which is easier said than done. The moment that my mind starts to ponder somewhere new, it feels like I need to figure it out STAT and I know that is not the reality.

A pro for the place I just visited this past weekend is that I already have a built in community there and housing would be EXTREMELY affordable. But on the same regard, I do feel like I might feel bored there after a while (which also might not be true) and I’m not sure if there will be a holy-spirit filled church there to replace the one that I currently go to. I’ve been going to my current church for over 2 years so naturally it just feels comfortable to me. To go from living in the thriving NYC with constant energy to a smaller, “sleepier” place scares me.

I think ultimately this is striking some fear because I do not want to make the wrong choice. I know God gives me free will, but I CRAVE stability. I do NOT want to keep moving frequently.

Before adventuring to this place this past weekend, this was the little dream in my head: getting an apartment here in NYC that is more permanent and then subletting my apartment in the winter and living elsewhere in the winter (for instance: I was really considering LA). This is what majority of our passengers that we fly from JFK to LA do and that would be SUCH a dream but I’m not sure if this is possible. Having the beach and sunshine in the winter would be a game-changer.

Another factor is that I am about to embark on a NEW JOURNEY that I have been dreaming about and my whole life has led into. I’m about to take a huge leap of faith which is scary, but I know my whole life has led up to this point. So this all could be a tactic from the enemy to be distracted from the assignment God has for me right in front of me. I’m about to have 11 days completely free and I plan on stepping out to start worship busking again. I received SO much LIFE and JOY from this previously that I am very expectant. I can’t imagine NOT worship busking in a public space so this is why the smaller city scares me. I’m also going to step out and start speaking-something that has been on my heart my entire life. If you could please pray for this, I would greatly appreciate it. Specifically that doors would be open in Jesus’ name.

I’m simply asking for your prayers as prayers move mountains. If you read this and can comment that would be amazing so I knew that someone received this. If you pray for me and receive any words or if you simply receive any thoughts after reading this and have ANY form of feedback for me, I would SO greatly appreciate this. All decisions would be good, just a complicated decision for sure.

I would love to take you back to a random weekday in which I had a 24 hour work layover in Seattle Washington.

This all started by worshipping the Lord. After working a long flight from JFK to Seattle, I found myself winding down with a deep worship moment with the Lord. Because of beautiful experiences in prayer rooms that I’ve had in NYC, it prompted me to look up whether Seattle Washington had similar worship rooms in their area as well.

Honestly, if it weren’t for Chat GPT, I’m not sure that I would have found this prayer opportunity on my own, genuinely. I found that there is a place called “Adoration House” in which they gather in corporate prayer and worship every day. Knowing that information, I then looked up daily mass in the area and was SO excited to orient my next day around prayer. This is something I used to be SO good at when I first started in this industry—making daily mass a priority no matter where I was in the world. I really want to make masstimes.org my best friend again!

The next day I woke up and had my usual prayer time in the morning in which I read scripture while drinking my morning coffee. Having a really intimate moment, I then proceeded to hop in an Uber to get to University of Washington’s Newman’s Center. A detail about me is that I try SO hard not to take Uber’s. I will go to the ends of the earth to take public transportation over an uber, but the bus was going to take 40 minutes and I was running late.

Thank GOODNESS I hopped in that Uber. It led to the most DIVINE appointment there ever was. Like so divine that my prayers may have affected his decision to seek out seminary discernment. He had a rosary hanging on his rear view mirror so I was eager to talk to him about his faith. In a car ride that was 15 minutes in length, he told me his life testimony and how he converted to Catholicism because of Father Mike Schmitz’ Bible in a Year podcast and reading the early church father’s. I was beaming ear to ear to hear his transformative story. It felt like I was hearing the story of SO MANY who have come to know the Truth of Catholicism from protestantism and not having any support along the way. I prayed with him and I thanked God in that moment for the financial provision because that Uber price was way out of my budget, but I knew it was in God’s because it is His currency, not mine.

I hopped out of the car and into the most quaint Newman Center chapel where Jesus was exposed in Adoration. Silent adoration is something I’ve been wanting to go to for a long time. After sitting in His presence for a while, mass began and I was flooded with memories of my own experience of going to mass in the tiny tiny chapel of my own college campus.

After mass came a lot of silent time of contemplation and catching up with my bible in a year reading (something I find myself doing way too often, playing catch up). After sitting in his empty chapel for what felt like hours doing so, I ventured off for lunch in this college town. It was SO FUN to see the Asian cuisine influence that it has on the Seattle community. These streets were flooded with asian fusion, I simply felt that I was in food heaven. I’m talking dumpling galore, boba tea, etc. I sat down and ate a really yummy hot meal and recognized Jesus’ presence in my midst and really took in the atmosphere around me. I’m never alone—always with Jesus!

Next it was time to set out to write more of my book. Previously, my Uber driver had mentioned how stunning the University of Washington’s library was. Not knowing this myself, it felt like a divine invitation from the Lord to go there. Knowing that my intention was to write for hours on this day, I ventured off to the University’s library. As a back story, I used to work on a University’s campus and that is a deep part of my history is living and loving the college campus. I’ve always talked about the positivity in the air, the drive and positive productivity, and dreamers that are all around you. As I walked throughout campus, the Lord reminded me of a little dream I used to have and I giggled with Jesus as He far surpassed this little dream and it felt like a joke—like here is this tiny dream that felt so big at the time, and now I look back laughing with Jesus because He exploded that dream greater than I could have ever imagined.

Anyway, back to the agenda. I wrote in this stunning Hogward’s looking library (pictured above) and it was THE most soothing place and I wished that I could just sit there writing for more hours. I drank my latte and got more accomplished than I had even dreamed of. Originally when I looked up this prayer house opportunity and how far away it was from the Newman Center, I was SHOCKED that it was only a 15 minute walk away! So after I was finished writing I packed up my stuff and walked to the Adoration House in which that began at 6:30pm.

I walked in and the ambiance was interesting. I say that with great love, but the lighting was a little odd to me. It was pure red. A setting that I know was used to set the tone of an ambiance but to me it still feels “off”. Anyway, this prayer night was much different than anything else I had ever experienced. I was expecting it to be similar to the Upperroom Dallas set up that I’ve been to or the prayer room in NYC, both centering around Worship music and corporate intercessory prayer. Basically the set-up went like this: they had one mic standing up on one side of the room and other mics throughout the room. There was one older man leading the night and prayer on his mic. He introduced the night and said that anyone is welcome to come up to the mic and lead a prayer that they felt on their heart or to sing a song, etc. It was very open and vague, yet beautiful for the Holy Spirit to move.

I will say, having so much experience of being in so many different rooms and feeling the movement of the Holy Spirit, I am able to sense the Spirit very precisely. (I say that humbly, but with conviction). I was honestly bothered throughout the event and I feel that it is okay to mention this because it felt like the Holy Spirit had been placed in a box and it had not been unleashed.

It felt like everyone was just looking at one another and it felt awkward. No one really had their hands in the air and everyone just sat there and stared. It didn’t feel very prayerful—it felt very awkward. Now me being me, I’m like “oh no, there is more and I’m going to turn up the heat”. Being the only one to do this and having no fear, I get up and walk to the back door and start praising Jesus while standing. I put my hands in the air, close my eyes and get lost in the spirit. I did this not to put attention on myself, but rather to turn up the temperature in the room. We are called to be thermostats, not thermometers and in that moment I felt incredibly called my God to shake things up.

The entire night I felt a very big burden as the Lord had disclosed to me some things in the prophetic that may have been going on there and I felt a direct assignment to impact the atmosphere of that room. God gave me a vision of coal burning. (Wow, the Lord just gave me fresh revelation for how this coal pertains to more of this story!). Anyway, about the coal: when I felt prompted, I went up to the microphone and explained that I was a flight attendant just randomly in Seattle for 24 hours. I explained that I normally fly all around Europe but that the Lord randomly brought me to Seattle Washington for what felt random, but this now feels like a divine appointment.

I felt the Holy Spirit overcome me and just take over, in overdrive. I closed my eyes, put my hands up, and let God take over in prayer. I remember opening in prayer by saying “Come Holy Spirit”, “Come Holy Spirit”, “Come Holy Spirit”. I had this sense that Jesus didn’t fully feel welcomed here to live freely. I spoke with extreme boldness and authority in the spirit as I prayed for the city and any any ways that the enemy tries to pervert the truth. I prayed for any agenda of the enemy to be gone in the name of Jesus. I felt called to pray a prayer of thanksgiving for the person who first had a vision for this Adoration prayer house. I had a sense that they had to be recognized and almost like an invitation for the board of this group to go back to the drawing board. I felt an extreme invitation from the Lord for them to re-imagine what this prayer room might look like for them. The interiors of this room was exquisite-they definitely put a lot of money into this room and I knew the Lord had more for the ministry in mind.

As I was praying, I was just in awe of what the Lord was producing out of me. As words flooded from my mouth, I was in awe of the work being done. I told them the image that I had in my eyes of coals being churned around a fire and I prayed for more of the Holy Spirit in the room. I prayed for freedom to be declared in the name of Jesus and fear of man to be gone in the name of Jesus. Something then shifted. I stepped away from the microphone and a random man who had been reading the bible looked up and said “Amen!” Not desiring the attention in the room, I crunched down and knelt behind a chair in the room, desiring to be completely hidden and not desiring the attention. It felt like the Lord just exploded a bomb off in the atmosphere through my prayer and I did not want ANY credit towards that. Whatever had just happened was ALL God.

I took a long pause with the Lord. I processed with Him a lot in that moment and I honestly just took a lot of deep breaths as what I did took a lot of bravery and courage. After taking some time to recover from that big moment, worship music began to be sung and I raised my hands again to worship. I looked around the room and saw faith had been arising. People started pacing back and forth in the spirit and various body movements fully showing the kindling of the Holy Spirit being birthed in the room.

I was sad that throughout the night I had to pay close attention to the time because I could only stay for 1 hour out of the 2. I could only stay for about 5 minutes after I dropped what felt like that prayer bomb (lol whoops!). Dissappointed that I could not see the fruit of my prayer, I had to step away to leave and I waved goodbye to the room. I saw multiple people run towards the door to say goodbye. As I was walking out to my Uber that was already awaiting, a super sweet girl ran after me and said “Hi! I just really really wanted to thank you for that prayer that you provided for us in there. That was incredibly powerful. You really shifted something in there and I feel blessed that you were even to stop by during your 24 hour visit here to Seattle”. She asked if she could pray for me and I was sad to report that my uber had already arrived. She gave me a hug goodbye and she said she hopes that she would see me there again one day. She left me with the same verse that I had recited over the entire room of Numbers 6: “May the Lord bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you and be gracious to you, may His countenance turn towards you and bring you peace”. (Would love to provide more information on this later, but this specific verse is a life verse for me and an anointing voice over my life and the last sentence I said at the end of my prayer: a form of blessing that I shared with the room on this bizarre secret mission that the Lord had for me.

As I stepped into the uber, I was in AWE of the Lord. I took half of the Uber unraveling what the heck just went on in that room and the other half talking to the uber driver on the way back to my hotel about Jesus. I was in awe of all that the Lord had just done in that day, and that I was about to just fly a flight back to New York City after a jammed-pack eventful day. It was another day of “woah Lord, this is my life”. Another pinch me-moment where I’m like, “I really am a little hidden, secret missionary girl for Jesus”. “Wow, Jesus really does send angels on assignment to pave the way for me and He really DOES set up divine conversations and divine assignments to shift rooms and shift atmospheres”.

As I type this out and relive this entire day, I am in AWE of these memories and all that the Lord did. Like my chest feels heavy and I have to take deep breaths, just realizing the weight of each of this assignments carried. I actually still keep in touch with the uber driver as I got his contact info in case I’m ever back in Seattle (lol pro tip: I HIGHLY suggest to get any divine assignment uber drivers’ your contact info for future visits and you can have your own private driver for cheaper, I have multiple of these in various cities HAHA). Anyway, I got his number for future connections but really God has orchestrated a beautiful relationship in which we send voice memos back and forth and I am REALLY encouraging him to go to a discernment retreat to discern the priesthood and really take action to his discernment. If you could also pray for him, that would be amazing! And Lord, I pray for the Adoration House. I THANK YOU LORD for the gift of that house, that huge space, and all that you will do for the future of that ministry. I thank you for birthing it in the hearts to make it even come to fruition. I pray for connections to be made if I am ever meant to return there. And Lord I thank you for reminding me that no random layover is truly random. You have me on an assignment wherever I go. Lord help me to see these assignments. Give me eyes to see your ways as you know that YES! Is always and forever on my lips. I say yes and amen to all future assignments to come in Jesus’ holy and majestic name, Amen!

PS: This clip above is a glimpse into a little something that was birthed from the prayer I had made. Once I said the prayer that the Lord led me to, everything that came from that was about the fire in Jesus’ eyes. (I forgot to mention that I think I mentioned Jesus’ fiery eyes), but the woman singing here was a random woman from the congregation, not even a part of the worship team who just felt led to share these lyrics that she just made up…a stunning movement of the Holy Spirit! Thank you LORD!

Back in October I had planned on going on a spontaneous trip with my best friend Annie. We were planning on going to Lourdes France. For those who may not know, Lourdes is a Marian Apparition site that is extremely popular and well known. I have a little goal to go to all of the Marian Apparition sites so I was excited to go with my friend Annie.

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October 28th was officially the first day that I started worship busking. I only sang for 4 days in total and I cannot even begin to express how much fruit it bore.

Thankfully I have so much of it on video that I can look back and remember these moments. One man was stopped in his tracks and seemed to be slain in the spirit and I spoke to him after and he said that he was really struggling to get by and that he hadn’t eaten in 4 days. When looking at this man, you would have no idea that he even struggled financially. I asked to pray for him and he was so thankful. I felt hope arise within him and I invited him to church. I would love to see him there at church one day.

Another man stopped to worship and put his hands in the air and I could tell that he was really processing a lot with the Lord. He stayed for each of the songs that I sang and I went over to talk to him after and he explained to me that he was standing in the shower that morning and prayed to God to show him a sign that He was there for him and that He would provide for him. Then he ran into me that day. The song that he stumbled upon me and heard from afar was “I trust in God”. As I prayed over him I told him that these lyrics were no coincidence and that the Lord was asking for him to trust in Him. The theme of both of these men was that he too, didn’t know where his rent money would come from. He said that if he couldn’t pay his rent then he might be homeless. From my 4 days of singing, this was a common theme and it opened up the reality for me of how hard it is to make ends meet for those to live in NYC.

This is my favorite story of all: At the beginning of the day while singing, the Lord told me that someone was going to come by and give me a pretty substantial tip to support my singing. Since most people tip $1, I said to the Lord, “there is no way that is possible”. Many hours later a church group came by and told me that they could hear me from across the subway station and they sought out to find me. They blessed me more than they could ever know. They stayed and worshipped with me and then they prayed over me and anointed me with oil. They asked for me to never stop what I was doing and they prayed prayers of protection over me; for my safety. They also said that they wanted to bless me financially and gave me the same amount that the Lord told me that someone would. I am undone by him. I really want to use the proceeds that come from this worship busking for a means to do missionary work and go to Christian conferences. In order for me to start worship busking, that means that I will fly less and it provides an opportunity for me to be in NYC more often and fly less.

What is fun about the church group that stopped by is that 2 of my random friends had both come at the exact same time and we all worshiped together. One was a Catholic friend, one a friend who goes to my protestant church. I was surprised by HOW MANY PEOPLE I knew who ran into me! Some people I saw daily because of their daily commute!

One man came by each day to give me an encouraging word and he really blessed me. What’s interesting about worship busking in the subway station is that each location that you could set up provides a different feel. I found that the Lord loves me to stand in this hallway because people can hear my singing and walk towards me and have a longer encounter.

One day I changed up my location to what seems like the “main stage” and two men came by and started worshiping the Lord with me. They gave me SUCH an encouraging word and the hardest part about the amp was that I had to change out the batteries periodically because the batteries would die. Because of their unwavering support and stating that they were like brothers to me, I humbled myself and asked if this man of God could help me out to run and go get batteries for me. I was having such an anointed moment with many people stopping by that I knew I needed to stay and humble myself to ask him. He was so honored that I had asked him and he ran to CVS to get me batteries. THIS is the Christian life—helping one another and he felt so much joy to serve me in doing so. That night I had a man sit in the distance and listen to the songs that I had sung over and over again. Similarly, I could see a woman in her mid 20s hiding in the corner encountering the Lord. She later found me on social media and thanked me for what I was doing.

The last story that I will share was about these two young men. They were in their 20s and they ran over to me while I was singing the song “Holy Forever”. They came over to me all excited and said, “you’ll never guess! We were JUST singing this same exact song while we were on the street and then we came into the subway and we heard you singing! We could hear you from DOWNSTAIRS!” It shows how far this amp can carry sound and they especially asked me to never stop singing. They said, “you are so anointed, promise me that you will never stop this ministry!”

Every person that I encountered and their blessed encouragement is what gave me fuel to keep going. I cannot WAIT for the spring time to keep doing what I was doing. After the second night of singing I said to myself, “wow I love doing this”. I definitely felt like I was doing something that I was born to do! As I posted just 2 clips of me singing online my inbox was flooded with private messages that I am SO EXCITED for what is to come of this ministry!!!

January 25th marks one year of writing blog posts. In an effort of full transparency, I’ve felt really guilty for the amount of blogs that I have written and I feel that I owe you an apology. In an effort of repaying your love, I am sitting down to write out MANY blog posts in an effort to extend my love to you.

Looking back at this year, I am blown away by your love and support. Even if I may not write a blog, just know that your financial contributions have helped with the MANY passion projects that I have going on. I share daily on social media which has bore great fruit of people rededicating their lives to Christ and beginning to question who God is. Over the years I’ve ran into people in person and they have stated that because of my posts, they have come to know the Lord. That makes me speechless and thanks to your support, it keeps me going. So if these blog posts have blessed you and if you think that I should keep going, a simple message of feedback would be so greatly helpful. I usually hear from about 2 people on feedback so truthfully it feels like blogging may not be worth it, but just sitting down to write gives me a surge of joy and happiness so I think that is a sign that I just need to blog more often so that it is not a burden, but rather a joy.

It’s important that I let you know what I’ve been embarking on in my free time and it makes sense why I’ve fallen behind on this blog over the past few months. Ever since moving to NYC almost 3 years ago, the Lord put a vision on my heart to sing worship music in the subway. This vision started after seeing that a girl named Harmony sings worship every day on Oxford street in London. I saw how much fruit this bore and it felt like a dream of the Lord’s to do the same thing in NYC. I’ll write my next blog post on stories of the fruit from only 4 days of doing so and I can’t wait to tell you more specifics of my experience!

The last time that I sang in the subway was November 19th. After 3 amazing + fruitful days of singing, I was saddened that the 4th day just felt “off” when I felt so much breakthrough the day before! What I quickly realized was that on this day it was starting to get colder and I could feel a shift in the atmosphere supernaturally. Sadly I could feel that the demonic comes out more when it is cold and this thought has been proven since then in different encounters on the subway. (Recently a homeless man threatened to fight a man on the subway) and I can just feel where people become outraged unfortunately when it is cold. It was quite obvious that I needed to pause my singing until the spring.

Just 24 hours earlier I was on CLOUD 9 after singing and then I was saddened and told the Lord: “why would you allow me to start this and then almost immediately have me stop? What am I supposed to do in the winter to use my time towards my Kingdom dreams?” I heard him say to start writing my book that I had started and to use the winter months to be inside and “lock in”. So that’s my mission for this winter. I actually started writing my book many months ago but I didn’t feel confident about the way it was starting. So last night at the ripe age of 1am I wrote my first few paragraphs in my Iphone note tab and I’m feeling REALLY good about it now. I’ve turned towards being excited to write. I have two 20+ hour layovers in LA and Seattle coming up and I’m devoting those layovers to writing.

If you could please pray for this process of writing for me and especially for the QUICKNESS in writing, I’ve known since I was a little girl that I would write a book and travel the world sharing my story. I recently gave a few talks and I felt so alive while doing so that I am very excited. 2025 is the year that I started worship busking in the subway, I started writing my book, I became an International Purser, and I spoke in two different cities. Doors especially started opening the moment I started sharing my worship busking online, so I am SO excited to see what the year 2026 has in store! I hope you are equally excited as well!

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Before today began, the only thing on my calendar was to get coffee with a new friend named Lindsay and besides that I could just feel hope in the air that something exciting was going to happen and a clear direction to just keep the day open. It was loud and clear, “date day with Jesus”, and boy did He deliver!!!

After having the most powerhouse conversation of iron sharpening iron, I immediately took it to the streets and prayed with a man named Stephen who was smoking outside of a Canabis shop and I told him about the healing power of Jesus that heals all wounds instead of Cannabus that is used as a bandaid over the wound. Super fruitful and I am SO excited for the bountiful fruit that is going to produce because of the seed. Cool…

Fast forward to hours later when I went on an evening walk with Jesus without my phone, rosary in hand. I’m a few blocks from my apartment and I see a homeless man that I normally only see sleeping so I cannot ever talk to him. I introduce myself and said “finally, I’ve been wanting to meet you!”. Turns out his name is Paul and he is my new friend. After conversing with Paul for a few minutes I have trouble hearing him so I decide to sit next to him. This is the second time of me doing this with a homeless person and I HIGHLY suggest this because it feels so personal. You are both at the same level and it is just heart vs heart. It’s also moving to see the reaction to others witnessing good coming from humanity (of course NOT why I do it—it’s just a beautiful experience).

I start to talk to Paul about God and his namesake and Paul starts to tell me about his story. (Please pray for Paul as he has been on the streets for most of his adult life and he is ready to make something of himself. I am excited for him!!!) I asked to pray with him and I saw him getting his hair cut and having new clothes, a full transformation (which I’m realizing is also supernatural with Christ as a new creation as well!) Paul tells me that he believes there is a higher power but not much else. He tells me things like “I think it’s pretty mystical that a man would die for the sins of others” and we break down what he really meant by that and the wheels start turning….he starts to rethink what he was saying to me and our conversation has things click that never have clicked in his life. I’m excited and hopeful. Only being 2 blocks from home, I ask him if I could run down and get him a bible. He says yes, that he would love that.

Back in my room I prayed about which books to bring to him and one was a simple book called “I heard God laugh” and based on our conversation on laughter and God’s provision, I thought he would enjoy it. Later when I tried to offer it to him, I heard God laugh when Paul turned the book down (haha!). But YA’LL! This is the BEST part! On my walk back to my apartment the Lord gave me a mission: to have Paul read the Beautitudes! (Specifically the verse “Blessed are the poor and spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven”). So as I sat down and gave him all of the gifts I brought over, Paul opens the Bible to Genesis 1. Audibly outside he recites: “In the beginning was the word and the word was with God… YA’LL. It was like he was reading it for the first time. Hope filled his eyes and conviction his heart. Joy filled mine as I witnessed him open and do this organically!!! I then asked him to turn to Matthew 5:3-12. Knowing that he hadn’t been in the word for YEARS, seeing him flip straight to the chapter brought great joy to my eyes!

THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST SIGHTS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! Here I am, sitting on the corner of Lexington Avenue, an extremely wealthy street, sitting next to a homeless man with a bible open and he is reading the Beatitudes out loud. ONLY THE LORD!!! IT WAS STUNNING!!! As he is reading these passages aloud, it is registering: “Monica you are having a bible study with a homeless man at 9pm in New York City”. Wow. Thank you God.

So then I break down the beatitudes. I said, “see, blessed are the poor and spirit, for their’s is the Kingdom in Heaven”. I said, when you are poor and have nothing, you have only God to rely on. He said yeah, I guess one can think that, but you also have yourself. I said “no Paul, that’s the thing, if a war were to break out right now, you cannot save yourself. Only God can, and that is why people cry out to God in desperation. Even unbelievers will cry out to God in emergencies because deep down they know there is a God. I could see the wheels turning big time…it was beautiful!

(I forgot to mention as we talked for over an hour), but I had mentioned to Paul about how I was in Greece and accidentally stood on the rock where Paul first preached and I hadn’t known that. After Paul was finished reading the Beattitudes he turns to Corinthians. I said, “what are you up to now?” He said, “I want to read about my namesake. (Makes me want to cry! Because that is the very first thing I made the connection of and knew his name was prophetic over his life). As he was reading, I was praying for him and after I started to teach him about names and how they have prophetic meaning over our lives. That God from all eternity has known our names and how our names have meanings. I taught him about St. Monica and how St. Monica prayed for over 30 years for her son to come to know the Lord. She was persistent that finally after 30 years, her son Augustine would come to know the Lord. I pointed at him and said, “see, we have hope with you too!”. I knew this gave him hope that it wasn’t too far from him at his age as well. As Paul continued to read the pages and he started to count the apistles and I could see a spark of EXCITEMENT come alive within him! Like what he was reading was all making sense now and as he was counting all of the books that Paul wrote: it was like an assignment in his eyes of what he was going to read. Turns out that he knows my friend Amy Jo from conversations on the street and I saw this vision of hosting Paul in our apartments’ lobby and studying the Bible with him and heck, even me bringing him into the church as his confirmation sponsor! That is my REAL dream, if you could pray on this one! I love this part of the story: he said the only other time that anyone has ever sat down next to him was a Dominican friar from the solid parish I go to in Manhattan. I said, “there’s something about those Catholics!” (haha).

Then I carry on my little way and the spontaneity of this conversation is WILD because it was not intentional WHATSOEVER. You see, I am hardly ever in New York City on a Saturday with no plans. I just happened to have a night of roaming with the Lord and noticing every little detail—it felt like everyone was extremely dressed up. (For context, most of my neighborhood is Jewish which is awesome!) After just passing another gentleman dressed to the 9’s, I finally decide to go knock on the door to ask a random doorman if he knows if there is a Jewish holiday that I don’t know of, going on.

This was a conversation that I thought would take 30 seconds, all of the sudden I’m at this doorstep for another hour (whew!). Meet Chris. Chris is actually a relative to one of the police men who died during 9/11. Chris’ knowledge of October 7th is actually what bonds us to continue having a conversation as he said that it is basically Israel’s 9/11 date. We go deep into his trauma from 9/11 and earlier I misheard Chris and I thought he said he was a practicing Catholic but all of the sudden I’m realizing that he went to Catholic school but he is actually Agnostic. Chris tells me every inch and cranny of his heart and why he does not believe in God. To be honest, he admits that he is “too smart”, which, I can honestly see where he’s coming from based on our conversation, but the Lord gave me very specific points to address that I’m excited to share!

The main problem with Chris is that he does not have faith. He even expressed that as a young boy he FELT A CALL FROM GOD TO BECOME A PRIEST. He obviously did not pursue that because he ended up studying every philosophy out there and he was hung up on this one thought: “If God knew that there was going to be evil, then that means that God is evil”. I said no, we serve a God that gives free will of choosing whether we want to go to Heaven or hell. What would be evil is having a God that predestined whether one of his creations goes to Heaven or hell even before they are alive, then go through life already predestined for hell. I know wheels turned for that one (praise you Jesus). He then addressed that he is extremely scientific and that he likes to have proof of things. I said, “have you ever heard about Eucharistic miracles?” He said no and I told him about the scientific evidence of bread turning into blood and being put under a microscope and scientists saying it looks like a 30 year old man’s heart. He was amazed by this. It then led him to tell me about how cool he thinks the stigmata is. He said that he read how painful people have said that it feels to endure and that was beautiful for me to receive as well.

Lastly, Chris said that he was really moved by the passing of Charlie Kirk and he basically insinuated that it was the first time that it really made him think about faith. He said that he would watch Charlie and really disliked the man but to see a man being shot for speaking about his faith, it made him think about God. He said, “I don’t agree with anything Charlie said but after watching the memorial my thoughts have changed that I wish he was still around”. We talked about how we are living in a supernatural battle between good and evil.

I asked Chris if he believed in heaven and he said no. I said, it is probably hard to have faith in God if you don’t believe in an afterlife. He agreed. I said, “well just so you know, I’m a stranger that has stayed here in overtime trying to win over your soul for the Kingdom of heaven”. He said, “oh well I don’t need you, God knows that I am a good man. I am nice to others; I’m kind, I’m generous”. (Wala, the enemy’s LIE brought to the light). I say: “well that is actually false and in the Bible it says in Romans 10: “if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved”. I said, anyone can be good and kind, but that does not grant you the keys to eternal life. Jesus says “but small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it”. I kept reiterating that free will is a gift and that it is on us on whether we end up in heaven or hell.

Please pray for Chris. Although it was a very insightful conversation, I left feeling disheartened because it felt like he was choosing to deny the gospel to my face, something that I honestly do not come across often. It felt like the devil was in front of me just slapping away at the gospel. But now I see it in a different light after passing a friend in the elevator: she said: “Monica, only God saves. Maybe it wasn’t tonight, but we don’t know God’s timeline”. She’s right. I might not have seen huge light bulb moments like I did with the other two gentleman, but I did see small “aha moments” like the Eucharistic miracles and free will that I KNOW planted seeds, it is now on ME to have HOPE that these seeds will flourish and blossom. In Jesus’ name, AMEN! (I’m tired, whew!)

Night! (Morning!) ~From the city that truly never sleeps <3.

Bonjour!

I am writing to you from Paris this morning, but we are going to transport ourselves to Avila Spain in order to tell you about my amazing (part 1) experience to Avila, Spain! I’m also excited to be writing to you more often because my laptop was lost in Berlin, Germany but by a miracle from God, I got it back, yay!!!

Let’s go back in time to June 13th. I had a last minute change in schedule and I was to have my first layover in Madrid, Spain. Without hesitation, I knew that it was a direct invitation from St. Teresa of Avila to come visit her place of birth. Once we landed I immediately booked a bus ticket to Avila from Madrid, just over an hour in length. I left with more than enough time but the directions to the bus station ended up being wrong! After asking someone for directions, I found out that the station was 10 minutes away so I nearly started running and praying for St. Teresa of Avila’s intercession to make it there. Once I arrived I thought I saw that the bus for Avila was just leaving so I went around the corner to try to find out another way. Then I saw people forming a line to another bus so out of curiosity I followed the crowd and asked where they were going. Lo and behold, they were headed to AVILA!!! The bus had been running a few minutes behind and I was told that this happened often! Jesus waited for me!!!

The views through Spain are beautiful that leads to Avila. It’s almost hard to explain, but IMMEDIATELY upon stepping out of the bus station I could feel the GRACE in the air. I’ve never felt this anywhere else in my life. Filled with immediate excitement, as I started walking, I could smell the balm of chrism oil as it smelled so holy, almost like smelling the skin of a baby and placing oil over the baby’s skin. I’ve never even heard of this happening and never thought something was possible. It felt very mystical in that moment and I was excited and expectant for the journey.

I was headed to St Teresa of Avila’s Cathedral, which was about a 15 minute walk to the train station. Along the way, the directions brought me along this beautiful wooded park area and as I was walking, I could hear people singing. Being curious as to the major event going on, I inquired further. I saw seats that were lined far in length and I asked someone as to what was going on and they said that it was a MASS IN THE WOODS, celebrating St. Anthony of Padua, whom’s feast day was that day. Since it was about 6pm that I was walking, I had just told the Lord that I had a desire to attend daily mass while there and THE LORD DELIVERED!!! I stayed for mass and they had beautiful music and the church felt SO alive then. Young children were dressed in white dresses and attire like it was their first holy communion. It was sacred, it was reverent, it felt holy. As I write this, the Lord gave me a fresh revelation that I could SMELL the sacredness of the mass MILES away, already starting and awaiting my arrival! How beautiful, thank you Lord!

Once the mass had finished, I rushed over to the Cathedral of St Teresa of Avila and was honestly saddened because it cost money to tour the Cathedral. Now I realize that it is hard to keep churches open these days with the cost of things, so perhaps that is why. It did come with an audio guide though and I walked by what was her convent. After walking through I honestly was not that impressed and I felt disappointed. I realized that I had gone to the WRONG PLACE and that the statue I remembered seeing was actually elsewhere in which it included a museum of her life and artifacts that was elsewhere. I had started my day later than I had anticipated so once I was told that, the location was already closed.

I knew that it was just simply an invitation from St Teresa to actually return back to her city to explore much, which I was excited about! I ended up walking around the walled city and taking in the views, pondering about the life of St Teresa and it made sense why she wrote her book on the soul being the Interior Castle. The entire city of Avila is surrounded by these walls that look like it makes up a castle. So St Teresa was a very blessed woman to live around such a picturesque area in which it looked like she lived inside of a castle!

As I was wandering around, I ran into this beautiful Cathedral that was having evening mass. I walked in and attended mass but I was honestly so tired that it felt like a very holy nap. I had been awake for almost 24 hours and I didn’t know the language, so I rested like a beautiful sleep with Jesus on His chest!

I definitely feel an invitation to introduce the readers to who St Teresa of Avila was and when I went to research St Teresa of Avila I found this very beautiful blog that best explains her life in a very simple way so I will direct you to this website: https://www.discalcedcarmel.org/blog/holy-mother-saint-teresa.

It’s helpful to note that St Teresa had been befriending me over the past year and I felt her deep desire for friendship and was not sure why. I told my spiritual director that I felt a draw towards her and asked him what book I should read to learn more of her and he directed me to her biography. I had been reading her biography leading up to the trip and then I was reading it while in Avila as well. I’ve since realized that the reason I feel so close to St Teresa is because I have had extremely deep mystical experiences myself, similar to what St Teresa has experienced. I choose not to share what those are as they are very intimate moments with the Lord that I honestly only share with my spiritual director. One I will share though is the same feeling of an angel piercing an arrow through her heart: that happened to me in July after even going to Avila. The rest of the experiences I’ve only told my spiritual director and I was just pondering the verse of “Mary pondered these things in her heart”. I don’t think I will ever be able to share these mystical experiences publicly but perhaps they would be disclosed after my death, like some of the saints. For now, please pray for me as I combat things that the enemy tries to throw my way as well.

ST. TERESA OF JESUS, PRAY FOR US!!!

I remember I was just recently convicted about giving cash to homeless if you have it (I am still trying to figure out my heart on this one), but nonetheless on this occasion I felt the call of generosity and leaned over to give him some cash because he said he needed a few more dollars to get some food. Seconds later another man saw me and decided to turn around and contributed to the cause as well. I conversed with the homeless man and he even invited me to go hangout with him (so sweet!), he asked for my name, etc. It was a super sweet encounter. The man progressed to immediately stand up to go get something to eat.

As I walked towards the waiting area for the subway I gave the other man who had donated money a fist bump and said, “good job”. “It feels good to do a good deed doesn’t it?” I somehow transitioned in saying “do you believe in God?” He said yes, that he was Muslim and he was visiting from a country in the Middle East. I told him that I had been encountering a lot of Muslim recently, especially as uber drivers and that I’ve been researching more about the Muslim culture recently to learn.

Just a few days prior, I was at an amazing Catholic equipping event in which we learned how to evangelize to others by expressing the gospel in one minute and asking if others need prayers. After this event they have space for people to come up and share testimonies. That night I didn’t want to go up and share any words because I remember I did the year prior. Setting my pride aside, something felt VERY “weighty” on my heart to share. The vast majority of people we had encountered that day were Muslim on the streets and very set in their beliefs; something they were not willing to change.

A particular memory I never want to forget was when we went up to a group of about 7 young adults who were smoking weed together and we asked if we could come talk to them. I sat down with the only female and we had a big heart to heart conversation about topics like drugs and alcohol, hanging out with the wrong crowds, etc. She was expressing concerns about Christianity and then it led into me teaching her about repentance and turning away from our sins and the grace that is confession and Jesus bearing our sins on the cross. I know I planted a seed that day for her to gain a healthier friend group.

So here we were, gathered together and listening to testimonies and all that I could think about was this direct order from God to pray for Muslims to come to know Jesus. I felt extremely called to lead a prayer and the thing about me is that I am so passionate about obedience that when the Lord asks me to do something I do it.

So I went to the front of the church basement room and expressed my experience of encountering Muslim on the street and I began to pray. What I did not expect to do was cry during my prayer. My heart was so moved by compassion for all of these individuals who are trapped in bondage of this religion that I felt so SORRY for them. My heart was saddened by them, that they do not experience the FREEDOM from the Holy Spirit and how they do not hear music in church or are bound by all of these laws and formalities in their faith. As I was praying for them earlier, I heard the song “Show me your face Lord” come into my mind. So at the end of my prayer I included this recollection and sang the song for one second and asked for Muslims to receive a deep encounter with the living God, that Jesus would show them their face. (I love thinking that there have been so many testimonies of Muslim converting to Christianity after receiving dreams about Jesus encountering them in their sleep so this connection makes me happy).

Now back to the story of this stranger and I conversing about the Muslim religion while waiting for the train: Usually the conversations I have with Muslim is me asking them questions in order for me to learn. This time since I introduced the topic of me researching more of the Muslim religion, this man asked me what I had found out about the religion. He began to debunk the things I was saying and expressing that it was wrong. He kept expressing that I have to confess Allah as God and to read the Koran in order to go to Heaven.

All of the sudden this man looked deep into my eyes and started to cry. He said “I can see God in your eyes”. I felt a bit of excitement and said “that’s the Holy Spirit!” But then he said no, I’m crying because I see God in your eyes but you do not believe in Allah so I am worried about you. I am shedding tears for you because I am worried about where you will end up. (Basically he was moved with compassion because he was scared I was going to go to hell). We stepped on the train and continued our conversation while it was moving.

I told him that the God I know is a merciful God. He is full of grace and full of compassion. (I had told him earlier that I try to go to mass every day if I can). I said that the God I serve, I believe that he would take that into consideration…that if I attend mass every day and try to love and serve the God I know, and then I am wrong and it turns out that Allah was the one true God, I believe that God would have mercy and compassion over me because of all of the daily prayers I have said and my commitment to go to church twice on Sundays, etc. I think I planted a seed in his mind then because with all of the conversations I’ve had with Muslims, that is something that seems to be missing from their religion is grace and mercy.

I would have loved to continue talking with this man as it was a very good conversation but I just remember feeling so loved and valued by this man. Not out of attraction to want to date, but because he saw something within me. I saw the way he looked at me: he was inspired by what was inside of me. He could tell that I was different and that I had Christ inside of him. I think it made him question what he saw within me if I was not Muslim.

I will say that having a random stranger cry over the state of your soul and whether you will end up in heaven or hell, it is very intimate and moving. It left me feeling so touched and also convicted. To see a stranger cry over me: for the first time in my whole life I was like “wow, what if the Muslims are right?” “What if this man was sent in my path to tell me about Allah and I do not follow him and I end up going to hell?” “What if this is my calling to convert?”

Now I know this might sound crazy, coming from a 32 year old who has been Christian her entire life, but until you have a stranger cry over the state of your soul, let me tell you, it made me question things. So I continued down this rabbit hole for too long, watching YouTube videos and reading things online to make sure that the Muslim religion is not the one true religion. I even wanted to go open the Koran as I learned how it is not divinely inspired and that it isn’t alive like the Bible is. I went to the library and forgot to read it, but I probably will in the future out of respect for all of the Muslims who have said: “just read the Koran”. In the future I can then tell them that I did open the Koran and here are my thoughts about it. The journey ended once I voice memo’d a friend who is a great theologian and he made things really real to me. If you would have told me years ago that at 32 years old I would question my faith and make sure that Christianity is the one true faith, I would have thought you were crazy. But now I continue life knowing that I did question my faith in many different directions, and I can still tell you that Jesus is Lord. It is the only faith that is so personal, full of miracles, and the only faith in which God comes as a King in the flesh and chooses to die for His people. It is the only faith that the King comes to serve, not to be served. Lastly, once you taste the freedom, excitement, and grace that is the Holy Spirit: NOTHING….I mean NOTHING…can take you away from that spirit that lives inside of you.

Stay vigilant. Stay awake. Be ready. Jesus is coming again.

I will say that I have been an extreme INCREASE of people converting to the Muslim religion…especially in Europe. London has the most I have seen. It used to make me sad or concerned: but right before writing this, the Lord told me to get excited. Because the end is near. The devil may be displaying himself as a false God, but to just get excited because that means that Jesus is ever so close.

When I think of the end times, I get excited. I get so full of hope. While it still makes me sad to see so many in bondage of this religion, I have hope and compassion that we have a merciful God that is so full of grace. Only He knows who will enter Heaven and who will not. In this moment the Lord is reminding me of Matthew 7:13-14:

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it”.

Stay vigilant. Keep your oil prepared. Stay in a state of grace. We never know the hour of His coming and it is so important that we keep having these conversations with our brothers and sisters no matter the faith, to keep planting seeds. You never know where it will lead for them. God bless all who read this.

As you might understand, New York is not an easy place to live. I saw this first hand on my 60 minute commute to work right now. I have to transfer to 3 different trains while carrying my luggage up and down stairs along the way. It is a lot of “mind over matter”. Here is what has happened so far today alone & we are only halfway thru the commute:

On the second train this lady was screaming SO loudly that it literally sounded like a demon was possessing her (which is definitely true). She screamed: “stop gaslighting me!!!” She was on the opposite end of the train car (thank you Lord for the distance) but I could hear her scream like wreaking screams from hell. Instantly I started rebuking the demon inside of her, a stranger doing so from afar. I was pleading the blood of Jesus over her entire body and claiming her as a daughter of the King, desiring her to be set free. The screaming just kept going on & all I could say was “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!” Since day 1 I’ve known that my calling for being in NYC is thru deep intercessory prayer. I can travel the world, but the moment my foot steps in NYC, my eyes see the wildest things. People constantly doing odd things, sadly addicted to drugs. Time and time again I’ve felt instantly called to pray a rosary because of the demonic things I see manifesting right in front of my face. I’ve never felt so called to pray anywhere else than NYC.

I had to change trains…”praise God that’s over”, I thought. Right before the doors were shutting; in comes  4 men dressed in chains and crystals, you could tell they were up to no good. Usually I don’t mind performances on the train but 4 MEN doing it?! They took over the whole train. Sensory overload as these men CRANK a boombox with terrible lyrics that I choose to plug my ears because I cannot consume ANYTHING secular these days. My heart yearns for purity. “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things”. (Philippeans 4:8).  What you consume affects your soul. I noticed his crystals around his neck and the Lord put a vision before my eyes that I will soon walk around NYC bringing strangers to Christ and converting hearts for Heaven. (I am editing this now from when I wrote this a few week ago and this is ALREADY happening, but I know it will continue to grow, praise God!)

The part of the message that started in my heart was that it is hard to live in NYC because of my sensitivity. My heart breaks for what breaks Jesus’. It is HARD to see people in captivity every day with only so much you can do. People are in bondage but you know the answer for them to be released. When I’m running errands, I pass a drug addict with no time to stop and change their lives. I feel helpless at times or guilty that I can’t stop and minister to every single person I see.

I pass homeless people that from the outside they look like they are from a 3rd world country, yet all I can do is offer them food, water and prayers. It makes me sad that this should not be their reality in this country. I cannot force them to change their lives around. As that quote says: “you can bring a horse to the water but you can’t make them drink”. Many homeless people don’t WANT to change—they find their lifestyle freeing.

Just yesterday when I was coming home from the gym on the train a man came onboard that said he was struggling financially and asked for money. I offered to pray with him and I did. Someone stopped me after and thanked me for doing that; God’s mission for that moment felt like it was less about the prayer for the person, but being a witness of inspiration for others to follow suit. Every day the Lord has a different mission for me in the city: I have to listen to His promptings and creativity.

I know that I have the Lord’s heart when I see humanity, but it is not healthy for the burden that I feel when my eyes witness them. Something that I’m learning is that it is not my responsibility to save them…that is why we have a savior. I carry their burden too often because it feels like I have the responsibility to save them—to change their lives around, especially when it comes to bringing them thru a salvation prayer.

I’m slowly learning about emotional boundaries and I have lots of research to do on this. To be able to say hello & pray for them; but know my place in it all. I think recognizing God’s role in all of this will help me to lift off my boundary. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to pass a homeless person and not have my heart break for them because they are facing wild temperatures in the heat or could; but with God’s help, I know He can transform my heart supernaturally if this is the case.

Just because something is hard doesn’t mean that we aren’t called for it. Unlike other places in this country, I don’t have to seek out populated areas to find those to minister to. I don’t have to seek ministry. I just walk down my street and have a familiar face of two homeless women. I can see the lost, broken, and mentally ill just by stepping outside. It doesn’t feel like other places I’ve lived. It’s like walking the halls of the hospital on the street. The harvest is plenty here in NYC—sooo many people to impact, but doing it for the right reasons. I honestly wonder if I would be bored living in other places.

I think what makes me feel like I need to minister to others is for Jesus to say “well done my good and faithful servant” and for Him not to mention a single person that I didn’t minister to. Even if it means a quick smile on the way to an errand—I never want to pass someone who is often overlooked without them feeling known, seen or loved.

I read a quote recently that wrecked me: “your calling will cost you your comfort”. Ain’t that the truth! It isn’t *comfortable* for me to live in NYC. I’m constantly out of my comfort zone. I am not *comfortable* to face my fears of rejection when going out on a limb and asking someone to pray with them. Now that I think of it, it would be boring to live a life of comfort. I know I’m not called to be comfortable; I’m called to be adaptable. Adaptable to the will of the Lord & listening to the Holy Spirit’s promptings. When you take a leap of faith to talk to someone, you are depending on God’s faithfulness to follow through and be your anchor. You are trusting in Him.

As I’m still learning this new concept of how sensitive you should allow your heart to be; I am growing. Lord help me to gain wisdom and knowledge that only comes from you. Teach me your statues Oh Lord. I know that sensibility is beautiful for it shows the purity of the heart, but having it cost me my peace is not heavenly.

Jesus, im going to need your help as I try to keep walking in my purpose. I rely on you solely & trust in your provision.

“I am to teach her about his love, his faithfulness and how we must always look to him for peace, comfort and strength. Not everything he has called us to do will be easy and comfortable. “Jesus never said life would be easy, but he said it would be worth it.” Matthew 7: 13-14”.

On this month of the sacred heart, JESUS WE TRUST IN YOU!!!

On Friday June 6th I was able and blessed to visit Prague in the Czech Republic. This was one of the top destinations I wanted to fly to as far as for work and it was only made possible because of doors being opened in my new leadership position (thanks be to God!)

Instantly upon realizing that I was being sent to Prague, I looked up where the Infant of Prague is. My mom has had a HUGE devotion to the Infant of Prague and it has always been a mystery to me. I did lots of research on the Infant of Prague in order to TRULY understand and I absolutely love the details of the infant that are stated here:

The statue remained in Spain for several centuries and a pious tradition claims that St. Teresa of Avila possessed the statue in the 16th century.

Whatever the case may be, the statue found its way to Prague during the reign of the House of Habsburg in 1556. At this point it was given by Dona Isabella Manrique as a wedding gift to her daughter Marie Manrique, who married Vratislav of Pernstyn. Some traditions claim that Dona received the statue from St. Teresa of Avila.

The statue was passed down through the family and by 1628 was given to a local Carmelite monastery by Princess Polyxena von Lobkowicz. She reportedly said to the monastery, “I am giving you what I most esteem of my possessions. Keep the sculpture in reverence and you will be well off.”

Soon after this gift, Prague was invaded and the statue was almost lost forever. A priest discovered it in the rubble of a church and enshrined it in a new oratory. While cleaning the statue the priest heard the Infant Jesus say to him, “Have pity on Me and I will have pity on you. Give Me My hands and I will give you peace. The more you honor Me, the more I will bless you.” When the priest needed more funds to repair the statue the Infant Jesus said to the priest, “Place Me near the entrance of the sacristy and you will receive aid.” What was needed was miraculously provided and the statue was restored.

The left hand encircles a miniature globe, surmounted by a cross, signifying the world-wide kingship of the Christ Child. The right hand is extended in blessing with the first two fingers being upraised to symbolize the two natures of Christ, while the folded thumb and last two fingers touch each other representing the unity of the Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit in the mystery of the Blessed Trinity”.

I loved the writing of this: “For all His majestic posture and regal attire, the little King of Prague is more striking for His outward expression of human littleness than by the impression of hidden greatness. The wardrobe of the Infant is similar to the priest’s alb: one is of white linen, the other is of lace. Covering these is a dalmatic made of silk or velvet over which is worn a cape. It represents the Infant Jesus dressed in royal robes, wearing a crown. He is King of the Universe”.

God chose to come into this world as an infant; small, meek and humble and the “littleness” that is showcased from this Infant shows us of our own “littleness”. Later, the statue had been discarded in war and His hands destroyed. Found by a Carmelite, he fixed the hands and placed the statue in a place of honor in the Carmelite Church in Prague, Czech Republic.

Many miracles have occurred through intercession to the Divine Infant. During one invasion, all the children of the city were taken to the Church for protection—praying to the Infant, they were all saved. For almost four centuries, this promise of protection and blessing has inspired devotion and love of the Infant Jesus of Prague.

The statue provides spiritual uplift for millions of people who have adopted the Holy Infant’s call to humility, simplicity, and sincerity and to become little in order to become great and pleasing before Christ the King.

Now that was a little background info about the Infant of Prague Himself, now let’s continue the story of my own experience visiting the Infant of Prague (still wild to think about)…

As soon as I walked in the door I was drawn to the left side of the church and saw a sign that I thought they were having confession in about 10 minutes. Naturally, visiting a new church, you want to wander around and take in every inch of the beauty by exploring the lay of the land…

I walked from the left side of this church and approached a little side room where there was a Carmelite priest (I think that is his term, idk if he would be called a brother but you get the point :). This man with a Carmelite Habit was sitting and writing something. I stopped to say hello and I asked him what he was doing. He explained to me that he was writing something for a course he was taking (if I remember correctly).

I asked him if there was going to be confession like I thought the sign had said but he said no but he said “do you need confession?” In my stomach I knew I needed to confess but I am learning that it is okay to express this need. “Yes”, I said. So he encouraged me to take a few minutes to prepare for my confession. In the meantime I asked him about the history of the Infant because I was kind of confused by the stories I had heard online and he explained everything to me.

I was overcome with joy knowing God’s providence and I showed this priest the book that I had in my bag, which is the Autobiography of St. Teresa of Avila. St. Teresa of Avila has been befriending me over the past year or so and I have desired to get to know her more. Wildly enough, I am about to work a flight to Madrid and hope to drive to Avila to visit St. Teresa of Avila in person (WHAT?!) Anyway, back to the story ;)

The priest was curious of the book so I handed it to him and I walked towards a replica statue of the infant of Prague that was on this altar. Beside the infant was a bowl of paper and a pen where others had been writing down their intentions and placing it before the Infant of Jesus. I wrote down my intention and when I was going through my photos yesterday my mouth DROPPED!!! I had been carrying the weight of something heavy walking in and I asked Jesus to take that away and instantly HE DID!!! Right away, IN THAT CHURCH!!!

I knew that He had taken away this thing, but I didn’t remember writing that down but thankfully I had taken a photo to show God’s divine providence! He can answer our prayers in an instant!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!

So from there I took some time to prepare for confession and I returned to the priest to receive the sacrament. As soon as I sat down he shared that he was working on marriage prep for a couple and TEARS flooded my face as that had been weighing me down: vocational discernment. So we had a beautiful confession to the point that his reflection afterwards was so long that I was feeling a little overwhelmed because it was so detailed (lol). He sacrificed so much time for me, so kind, and I will cherish this man forever!!! It was like I gained a friend that day! A stranger in a sense, but a friend at heart and it gives me great excitement to see him hopefully in heaven one day!!!

So from there I walked over to THE Infant of Prague, the one that was described above, and was having a moment; interceding with all of my loved ones and especially my mom.

Then I took some time to stare at the regal of the rest of the church and was so moved that I really desired to lay prostrate. This is my favorite posture of prayer and my friends often say: “If you can’t find Monica she is probably laying flat on her face”-haha!

So I went off to the side of the church in hopes to not be seen and as I was laying prostrate I felt the Lord say: “I am going to take this away from you”. The burden that had been suppressing me that was from the enemy, I sensed the Lord grabbing hold of it from my body and taking it away. Ever since that moment I have not been experiencing that burden that had been hindering me for so long—PRAISE GOD!!!! I am FREE!!!! I pray that this little testimony inspires you that the Lord can do the same to you in an instant.

(Funny story): I’ve laid prostrate in many churches throughout the world and this is the third time that someone has passed by and said “are you okay?!” Like I had fallen down and am hurt…but it is quite the opposite haha! It kind of feels annoying when it happens, like shouldn’t you know that I am just simply in prayer and not hurt? But at the source it is really a sweet stranger concerned for you :)

From there I took the little cute tram over to a church where I attended mass and since it was all in Czech I laid my head on the pew during the homily to pray and rest, but honestly it was like my mind left my body during the homily, or that I just fell asleep haha…but I did not feel present until the homily was over. A very blissful time :).

That was that! From there I had a chimney cake and explored the streets more. It was hard to explain to the crew what I had done that day but the others explained that they drank more beer than they had ever consumed and went bar hopping all day, it brings me joy to think that I went “church hopping” myself and how much more fun and grace-filled that is!!

Okay, off to get ready for work and commute in to work to Madrid! I pray that the next blog post is about my time in AVILA!!! I pray that I am able to make it there by renting a car!! It feels like I don’t even have to pray about it though, that the Lord has already made a way. <3. Thank you Lord,

Infant of Prague, Pray for us!

Hello! This has been a long time coming to fill you all in on this experience and I just wanted to thank you all for sticking with me through this journey as I didn’t realize how hard it would be to blog and also jet set all over the world as well. What I’ve learned is that I need to batch posts all at one time in order to be ready to post later and I do keep updated on instagram and facebook daily if you would like to see updates there. Your support means the WORLD to me and I commit to trying to get better at scheduling out my posts and also typing on the app I think would be easier for me being “on the go!” Please know that your support means that you are supporting me for my daily content on Facebook and instagram and I also just edited a vlog for YOUTUBE from this story and it was SO FUN so your support feeds me to fulfill these other platforms as well! Content is a lot of hard work and time I tell ya! Not as easy as it seems!

Anyways, let’s bilobate to Roma shall we?! So a few weeks ago I had a Rome on my schedule and I added it to my schedule before Pope Francis had died. When I saw that I had the day off and someone had posted a Rome, I knew that the Lord was up to something on that day!! ;) Fast forward to a few weeks later and this trip was right in between Pope Francis’ passing and the Conclave gathering to discern a new pope. I messaged a Holy Spirit Catholic friend group and expressed to them that I was feeling pressure on where to pray and how to pray as there were many places that I could do that. (I realized that I am guilty of going to the same places to pray when I am in Rome so I need to spice that up in the future and cross off seeing some saints and things too).

One person in the group recommended that I walk around the Vatican and pray a “Jericho like prayer” with the Cardinals in mind, physically wrapping the Vatican with prayer as I step foot around the entire parameter. Other suggestions came in as well but I felt most called to this and truly excited to complete this agenda.

On the day of my arrival I was feeling like I had lots of energy and I drank some espresso and went straight out to hit the streets of Rome. The first place on the agenda was to get prochutto, cheese and salami to make a little charcuterie like meal. I immediately took those ingredients to the steps of the Vatican and my specific spot that I always go to sit, pray and reflect (around those pillars to the left side looking at the basilica if you’ve been there before), and I had a little picnic with our Lord and then I opened my bible to Joshua 6 where it says: “On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have the whole army give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the army will go up, everyone straight in.” (Joshua 6:4). It was then time for mass at Santa Anna where an English mass was held. It was beautiful and the Lord told me to look up at the people taking communion (which I never do), and BAM! There was my friend who lives in Italy, right before my eyes!!

From there it was time to gather my own sword, being the rosary, and I stepped my foot towards marching around the Vatican myself. I tell you, this was one of the most moving experiences of my life. As I specifically walked around the portion where the Sistine Chapel is, within the Vatican Museum, the REALITY of the Cardinals gathering there in just 3 short days really sunk in. These prayers are TANGIBLE, covering the exact LAND. The Lord brought me there on a specific agenda and assignment and it was extremely clear.

I asked the Lord which mysteries to pray and the first one that He gave me was the glorious. Then I prayed the Luminous mysteries. I honestly wanted to pray all 5 mysteries but I did not have time by the time I was finished and I was quite honesty exhausted. (I’m so glad that I didn’t because the end of this story gets WIIIILD!!!). I wanted to note that it was so moving to pray without anyone else around me knowing. I had a sword in my hand and prayers on my lips but no one knew around me. It felt extremely humble and intimate with our Lord. I truly did feel like a soldier, like a Roman Guard praying protection over our beloved seat of the Roman Catholic Church!!! The last thing to note on this was that parts of the march was quite honestly a bit dangerous. I could have taken the side walk that was across the road of the Vatican but I felt sooo called to scale the Vatican walls around these tight switchbacks and pray RIGHT beside the walls. I had to turn these corners that cars couldn’t see me but it just required reckless abandon and radial trust in the Lord for protection. Sometimes I think about what great Saints would do and I believe they would have made the same decision :).

The entire prayer walk took about an hour (longer than I had expected) and I was ready to get some gelato on the way home to celebrate + enjoy but the Lord had an even BETTER plan in store. (You won’t believe it). So I had specifically researched the most top rated gelato and I put it into my maps. Along my way I saw this church that was open and it looked stunning inside. I had walked by this area before but somehow never noticed it! I stepped foot inside, blessed myself with holy water and said a simple prayer of thanksgiving and was on my way. As I stepped foot out of the church I looked down and what do you know?! My childhood friends’ parents were right in front of me, in Rome, and I was so excited to say hello!!! (I looveee reunions and the Lord has been uniting me with a lot of people all over the world lately and it is amazing and kind of eerie at the same time lol). As I approached them I said “Hi!” and my friend’s Mother was in utter shock. It was SOOOOOO precious! She said, “No way. No way. Monica?! Is that you?! No way that is Monica. We are in Rome!!!” She was in such utter disbelief that it truly made my day how special I felt. She was so happy.

They had been on a cruise and they were in Rome as their final stop just for 2 days. Remember that church I had stepped into? They were actually waiting to go into it as mass was beginning in about 8 minutes. They instantly said, “do you want to get dinner with us after?!” I said “sure!” Mike said, “you can meet us in about an hour after mass and we can wander somewhere!” I had a little surprise up my sleeve that I was actually going to go WITH them to mass, even though I had already gone once that day. I knew that it would especially make Amy really happy.

Here I was simply on my way to get gelato, then all of the sudden I’m in mass with people who felt like family, in an Italian beautiful mass. WHAT?! That’s how the Lord works, doesn’t He?! He is a God of surprises and divine appointments!!! What was extra special about this mass was that we happened to stand where the priest proclaims the gospel in a separate area that we had no idea, so here we stood directly under him and an IMMENSE amount of incense gathered around us and it felt so HOLY. Like HEAVEN came down to earth and was blessing our bodies. So intimate, so special.

Immediately after I joined them for dinner but I just had wine because I wasn’t hungry. We caught up about life and I told them honest things about how my lifestyle is beautiful but it can also get lonely at times (this wasn’t something that I experienced until this year and I’ve been battling personally so I would appreciate prayers for this intention). The conversation became very vulnerable on my end as I shared things that happened from my childhood and we swapped testimonies which was a ton of fun. The entire conversation was so holy, intimate, and just what the Lord ordained. (Gosh it feels so good to write! I need to do this more often!!)

As I was walking home (home being a hotel all around the world ;), it is a very familiar route for me and I was conversing with the Lord. Like “Lord, what was your intention for us gathering?” It could have been anyone that you united us together, but why this couple? At the time I felt like the Lord was saying that it was a way for me to be open and vulnerable but right now the Lord disclosed that it was an opportunity for someone I know and love to pray for me. Amy is a very holy person that the Lord allowed us to unite so that I could have someone pray for a very specific intention and since I’m alone a lot, it also allowed for very intimate conversations, something that I crave and am in desperate need of these days. I went to bed in wonder and awe with the Lord and amazed of His ways. His ways are far greater than our own.

I would like to close us out in prayer:

Lord, THANK YOU for your provision. Thank you for your holy hand over our lives. Thank you for your protection and the unique design that you have on all of our lives. Thank you for divine appointments and divine strategies to do your will. Help us to always be open to your will and give us spiritual eyes to see and ears to listen. I pray an increase of divine appointments over me and I specifically pray for my trips this month: Madrid Spain and Coppenhegan Denmark. (I have never been here before), so Lord, I pray for precise vision for me to see your holy will for these destinations. I pray for the pilgrim spots you may have for me and I thank you for exciting stories to update loved ones on this blog. In Jesus’ MIGHTY name we pray, AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To God be the Glory, forever and ever. For all of eternity!!!

So just two days ago I was BLESSED to be able to go and visit the Basilica of the Sacred Heart in Paris. I originally had planned on going to Notre Dame but the Lord reminded me of this other desire and it felt like He wanted me to go there.

So here I was, sitting in front of the monstrance of Jesus being adored and I was praying the rosary. As I was praying, I felt this saddened thought that has come to me many times. (As a backstory, I just received a new role that will (God willingly) allow me to mostly fly internationally (may God be the glory). My thought process was that I wouldn’t be able to pray with as many people abroad because of either the language barrier or the openness to pray. It just honestly feels like Americans are more open for prayer and that probably comes from me being from a different culture than Europe. I feel like more of an outsider and prayer with others does not feel like an open opportunity.

As I was praying the rosary, I felt like the Lord was reminding me of the gift of intercessory prayer too. I don’t have to be the one physically praying WITH people. I can pray FOR people. I have the gift to be able to intercede for different cities and countries around the world (praise you Jesus!!!). Just as I was finding consolation in this reminder from the Lord, something else happened…

I overheard this couple three rows behind me say: “wow! Isn’t this beautiful! What if there was a wedding here!” Now for some context, I was sitting in the front area of the church that was preserved for prayer. You were not able to take photos and it was solely a time of silent prayer. I noticed the Parisian woman sitting diagonally from me had turned her head to look back at them, what it seemed like out of annoyance of them talking when she was trying to pray.

Simultaneously, the Lord gave me a word for them and asked for me to pray for them. I got SO eager and excited. So in front of this crowd of people, I walked back and asked if I could pray for them. I asked them where they were from and they said America. I prayed with them and gave them the word that I felt like the Lord was saying that there was more for them. I prayed that this day would mark them for the rest of their lives and that they would never be the same. I prayed that they would be encouraged to go home and open up their bibles and ask the Lord to speak to them in some way. I prayed that their relationship would grow even stronger as they strengthen their trust in the Lord. The Lord gave me an undeniable understanding that they did not frequent church often. In the prayer I said that so often we can see that a church can look so beautiful but it is about the heart. You can see something look externally beautiful but it is about the inward beauty.

Immediately after they thanked me for that prayer and I went back to my pew to pray. I was hoping that they would take a few minutes to ponder what was said but instead they said, “okay, let’s go”. I’ve been unwiring my brain of people pleasing for a long time now. I’ve come a long way. In the past I would have beat myself up for not getting the reaction that I would have hoped for—for this to be such a moving experience for them that they continued to pray after.

The reality is that I am not God and I am not a savior. I cannot fix or solve anyone—I can only bring them to the person who CAN fix or solve their problems. I am merely a vessel for God’s grace. In that moment I felt that God the father was proud of me and that was sufficient for me, for we live for an audience of one. As I was writing the portion of my prayer, inviting them to open up scripture and having it speak to them…I felt like the Lord was telling me that I planted something in their heart. I may not have seen a direct result of the prayer but that seed may have bore fruit in their home. It may be still yet to come. I know without a doubt that their openness to prayer and the posture that I felt they were open, some seed was planted somewhere. I believe that it started through conversation as husband and wife.

I was originally going to go visit the Cathedral of Notre Dame on this day, but the Lord had this couple in mind. He had their salvation in mind. What an honor it is to listen to His plans for our lives, for they outweigh our own desires.

(As a side note, if you could please keep me in your prayers throughout this spring/summer, it would mean a lot. Yes it is exciting that I gained this new position (God willing that I pass the training), but it is going to be a MAJOR transition. It is going to come with a lot of weight and a lot of hardships. It is going to come with trying personalities and the enemy is already after me. Tonight in the Encounter class I was reminded of the spiritual armor that God gives to us CONSTANTLY from Ephesians 6:13-18 (the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, sword of the spirit, which is the word of God, and prayer). I should not be afraid of what might come my way, but be reminded of the armor of God that He places upon me. It must be a daily remembrance. A daily reminder. The armor is invisible to us but visible to the enemy. I KNOW that I was built for this position and I was made for it. It is time that I walk in that same authority. I thank you in advance for your prayers and may you receive great mercy for that as well. Love you all for listening!!!

(I wrote this last night and I am now at the airport on call and just received a phone call that I am being sent to Paris again right now!!! After I close my laptop I will be on my wayyy again! Thank you Jesus!!!)

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Every time I am back in New York City, I feel this deep calling of intercession and prayer for the lost and broken. Those who are homeless, those battling drug, alcohol, or substance abuse addictions, and those in poverty in the streets.

This past summer I was still getting acquainted with my commute on the subway station and when you first move to the city it can be easy to take the wrong train or go in the wrong direction. I remember I was coming from a Catholic event of prayer on this particular night and I got off on the wrong stop. I looked up at when the next train was coming and it said 30 minutes. I gasped and was frustrated because it was now past midnight or 1am and my safety was a concern. I always have the Holy Spirit with me and I say protection prayers all the time so I was not fearful, just frustrated.

I always have a book or my bible with me when I’m on the subway so I use my time to read instead of being on my phone, so I can pray or use my time to learn something. So as I waited I was excited to read. Moments after I heard this man stumbling and was visibly under the influence of something. I immediately closed my book and as he got closer I stood up from where I was sitting and walked a few steps away. This is a common practice while being a New Yorker because you constantly have to be on guard about your safety and you are always aware of your surroundings. It’s not that I *want* to move away from any human being as God doesn’t call us to be distant, but we live in a different world that you just never know.

This man saw that I moved as he got closer and said “why did you move away?” “I’m not going to bite you”. Given that there was one other man around I felt safe enough to respond and I said “as a female alone we just always have to keep our safety in mind”. He said, “oh no, I would never hurt a woman!” He started to get very confident in his voice and it broke down a barrier where I now felt comfortable that the Holy Spirit was guiding me into a conversation with him. I could see a man several feet away that was lying on the subway ground, sadly under the influence of something as well. I saw a young girl walk by and was filming her on her camera. \

Being the confident/bold woman that I am, I was disturbed that any human being would think it was okay to film such a vulnerable person and someone who is visibly struggling and here we think it is okay to expose the decency of this human being? I was fired up so I walked up to this man to show him compassion and love after someone else did not recognize the value and worth of him being a son of God or a human being in general. The man who I just met a minute prior that I moved away from, he called me over and said “hey, it’s okay, let him rest”. Every single second of these encountered felt like promptings from the Holy Spirit—when to walk, when to stay, when to speak, etc.

From there I was in deep conversation with this man I had just met. I asked him his name. He said “James”. It was a perfect Segway to say, “oh, you have a biblical name! Do you know James in the Bible?!” It opened up the door to talk about Jesus. He explained to me that he was far from God and frustrated by him. He said that he was left on the streets with nothing. The conversation was very vulnerable, yet playful in nature. I felt safe enough to say, “you know that when you fall so deeply in love with the Lord and surrender your life to him, you won’t have to depend on drugs or alcohol to comfort you. The Lord will do that”. He said, “yeah, you’re right, it’s just a hard world out there. So much violence, everyone steals from me, so much crime, so much hatred”. I said brother, “you have to look at the GOOD in the world. You have to see the bright side of things and all that God provides for us.” I said, “look at the sunshine today. What a gift”. Then I told him about Matthew 6 and how the Lord provides food for the birds in the air and how he provides for us too.

This entire time this man named Juan had been listening in the entire time and you could tell. I can’t quite remember how he came into our conversation but I remember that Juan said something to join our conversation about God. Then I asked if I could pray with them. James was SOOOO excited and said “yes!” He immediately went to hold my hand in prayer so then all of the sudden here I was, holding the hands of two male strangers at one in the morning in prayer and all for the glory of God!!! This was the most special time of prayer on the streets I’ve ever had. As I was praying out to God, I remember saying such prayers of thanksgiving and speaking so positively to the Lord in order to impact the way James might think or pray and I just asked for the Lord to protect both of these men and for guidance from the Holy Spirit. I prayed that addiction would flee in Jesus’ name and that both men would fix their gaze on Jesus in times of trouble. Immediately following, James was eager to cry out to God in prayer and I just remember smiling and remembering how joyful this encounter made me feel. I knew that this moment made the father so proud and happy, therefore it brought joy to my heart.

Here I was, concerned for my safety in one moment and then my guard was taken down and pure intentions of hearts were being poured out. Juan began to pour out his heart after the prayer, explaining that he was a car mechanic who works 7 days a week. He was pouring out his hardships of life to me. Soon after the train arrived and we all stepped on board like we knew each other as friends. I remember I was wearing a blazer with lipstick and we all definitely looked like we were coming from different places, Juan had his work clothes from being a mechanic. I only had to go a few stops but these men continued to pour out their life story to me and all of the sudden they both pulled up their shirts to show me scars of their wounds from where they had both been stabbed!!! (Like what?!). That was not expected and others on the train visibly had their mouth drop because they too did not expect to be seeing this. But this was a bonding moment for the two of them, to understand that they are not alone in their walk and that someone else was struggling alongside of them. Others were definitely watching us on the train because I don’t think it’s common to see a girl all dressed up becoming friends with someone on the street. In that moment, I knew that this is what Jesus would do. It didn’t matter anyone’s past or what their sins are, Jesus would meet every person where they are and present the gospel to them. He would bring them light and introduce God to them.

As I was getting off of the subway and saying goodbye, my heart was aching all along because I wanted to get James’ contact info to bring him to church with me. I felt this deep calling to disciple him. He told me that he did not have a phone and once I brought it up, I knew that I had done my part and now I needed to release him to the world. As I stepped off of the train I said, “bye James! bye Juan!” and I felt like I was saying goodbye to two new brothers. Not just friends, but brothers. Although we only spent about 40 minutes together, I felt this deep bond with them as they were so vulnerable with me. I left feeling inspired, refreshed, and anointed. I pray that I meet them again in Heaven one day. What a delight it would be to see them in Heaven and for all of us to say “remember me?!” I pray that God makes that happen: every little encounter that we had with someone, that God reintroduces us and has a time for reunion and rejoicing. For now, I should add him on my prayer list for tonight. I hope and pray that he is in a better place. That my little spark of light for 40 minutes was enough to make an impact. I might have very little to offer from my little cup, but I have the Lord to offer and His mercy is new every morning. He is our author, provider, and protector. The alpha and omega, beginning and end. I pray that I reintroduced them to the Lord and that the Lord has transformed their lives from glory to glory. Amen.

So Honolulu Hawaii had been on my heart since I have been many times and I’ve always had really profound spiritual experiences there and it has a very special place in my heart. It is a place for me to get away and talk to the Lord. Normally when I am in Honolulu specifically I would rent a $30 car for the day and adventure all around the North Shore and speak to the Lord along the beaches and have really profound experiences with Him while getting lost in the adventures of the beauty around me. This would usually involve jumping off of cliffs and just enjoying the beauty of creation.

This time however, the Lord had a much different plan in store. A supernatural plan. This time I felt called to just experience the new hotel that our company just moved to and I planned on going to the beach that we are blessed to be right next door to. Instead of me just enjoying the beach, the Lord had divine appointments and supernatural encounters in store for me. All it took was me saying yes to the assignment that He had in front of me to “encounter the one”. It is important to note that the “Aloha spirit” of the island makes it EASY for people to be open to dialogue and receive prayer. It is unlike any other place I have been to in the world. The atmosphere is light and free and everyone is smiling and saying aloha! It is much different than life in Manhattan for sure.

I was walking to the beach and I encountered a homeless man. I asked to pray for Him and I tried to pray for healing over his body since he was in a wheelchair. I am in a Supernatural School of Ministry so I am always trying to learn and grow in this endeavor. Later on I encountered another man in a wheelchair. He was completely immobile and could not speak. I asked him if I could pray for him and I thought he was okay with it but I was not sure. I did the best that I could and he wrote a response on his iPad device and it was a very unique experience that I learned a lot from. Moments later I encountered Rachel. She was sitting along the beach with a few rosaries around her neck that were entangled and I asked her if I could pray for her. I talked to her about “Our Lady, Undoer of Knots” and asked her if she knew about this devotion. She said yes and she mentioned how she goes to St. Augustine’s church down the street. I told her that I was actually planning on going to mass at 5pm and I asked her if she wanted to join me. She said yes, and asked me to promise that I would be there!

On the way back to shower and get ready for mass I encountered 2 street preachers on the street which is a whole story in itself that feels too long for this post but I do not think this is the last time that I will meet these individuals. We talked about the Lord together and you can see photos from that encounter but I hope to see them again one day. We bowed our heads together and felt eager for the Lord. He told me that I always have a family there in Hawaii. (so sweet!)

Going to St. Augustine’s church for mass was unlike any other experience I have ever had while going to mass on a layover. I felt the tangible TOUCH of the Holy Spirit through the congregation around me, the powerful homily, and especially the beautiful music that was sung. I was so incredibly impressed and genuinely moved by God. So much so that I actually raised up my hands during worship because I had no fear of man and just worshipped God with my hands held high because that is what I desire for the church to be like one day. I was so moved by the Holy Spirit that entire day and honestly going to mass there felt like a touch of Heaven. I looked around and everyone was so joyful, welcoming, loving, and I was just so in awe of what God was doing in that church. I did indeed see Rachel go up for communion and it felt like every race, every gender, and expression was represented in that room. A Eucharistic minister was actually barefoot who gave out Communion, it was a beautiful experience I will never forget & I hope to go back one day!

The grand finale of the entire trip was actually when I came back from Honolulu and arrived back into NYC. I was doing my usual commute home and I had 17 minutes until the next train to Grand Central Station. I wanted to utilize my time by checking my balance for my monthly train ticket and that is where I encountered Fitz. I was putting my card in a few times and I asked if I was okay. I said yes and He was just so inviting that I asked him how his day was going. He said, “I’m so good, I’m just coming from church”. He was visibly homeless as well and he had a patch on his eye. We talked about the Lord for a bit and I asked to pray for him. That is where the Lord just poured out His love to me by the story of this man. He had SO much wisdom to share with me that I actually asked if I could record the conversation on a voice memo because it held SO much wisdom and beauty that I wanted to cherish forever.

He explained to me that he is frequently stolen from around his community. Whenever he sleeps, he has had things like coffee stolen from him over night or things stolen that he puts under his pillow. He said that his pastor actually gave him a phone one time and he treasured it for many months and did not use it during the winter because using it out in the cold was like a “penance for the hands”. He was looking forward to using it in the spring and summer but was not able to because it was stolen from under his pillow one night. What he said in the recording was this:

“At first I wasn’t good at enduring losses, however, with no other alternative, I go to God with tears and the Lord just whispered in my spirit: “When you give me your losses, you are being prepared for greater impact. Right now you don’t see the greater, but I am preparing you for greater. I am learning to transfer every loss to the Lord”. We had a very long conversation about many aspects of the Lord and crosses of life, but what happened last is absolutely stunning that I hope to remember forever. We can learn SO much from the poor and they can minister to US. All of the sudden he started to speak prophetically to me.

He said: “Monica, you are soon going to come across a lot of breakthrough. The Lord has been testing you for a long time and very soon you will see all of your childhood dreams come into fruition. Everything you dreamed of when you were young will be coming into light. When you truly come to a point of loving yourself, you are also going to find a very special man to receive love from as well”. Tears dwelled in my eyes and they are forming now as I remember this incredibly special encounter from this man who felt like an angel. It felt like a divine encounter from the Lord and an Angel whom God sent in my path to encourage me and the Holy Spirit was sparked inside of me to keep being on fire for the Lord and impacting those around me. Fitz sang to me before we departed ways and we exchanged addresses to send each other letters. I hope to see him again one day and learn from one another, but for now, pen pals.

This trip to Hawaii sparked so much JOY and LOVE and INSPIRATION and ZEAL for the Lord and “seeking the one”. Seeking out the one whom God puts in my path and praying for miracles, sings, wonders, healings, and more freedom for the person in front of me. I had a feeling throughout this trip that Hawaii would come about in my future in some unique way, and I just surrender that little dream and the flutter in my heart about Hawaii. It is a place that feels closest to Heaven by the spirit of love and openness to one another on the island as well as the beauty of creation that surrounds you. You really do feel like you are a part of the Ohana family and the Lord has spoken some things about Hawaii for my future but until the time comes, I will surrender that to the Lord and continue to walk in obedience to His ways. Thank you for that miraculous trip in my heart Lord. Something I was not expecting but your Will indeed. Love you Lord, bless this island and all whom inhabit it. + Fitz as well <3.