To be truthful when it first arrived I named it, The Great Softening because it stirred from within and extended to the outer regions of my self. Like a deep relaxing sigh that pervades every aspect of you. A warm welcoming whole feeling that feels like the biggest most loving hug you could possibly receive. But one with power. The gentle kind.

This is a natural, easeful merging of body and mind, where I’m doing nothing, just simply being. Becoming more of what I am and less of anything that no longer serves me. And I’ve come to realise that this is my quiet becoming.

In some ways it’s actually less of who I am and more of who I’m not. Less of the ideas of what’s easeful and natural, and more of nothing in the fullest and most complete way. A becoming of owning this vast space of emptiness that includes all things and nothing at all. The usual notions of what constitutes as meditation, relaxation and embodiment don’t stand here because they’re simply ideas. Beyond that is the real juice, the true nectar of wholeness. And the carry forward effect of this feels limitless. It’s a greater ownership and recognition of the pieces that I’ve tucked away, down deep.

The shame of being more sensitive than I thought I should be, and trying to push through that, simply to accommodate some else’s comfort. The notions that I should be another way because that suits someone else’s ideas. The straining of a nervous system, an energy system to normalise myself in the chaotic fragmented ways of this world.

This becoming is allowing of all things, welcoming of the discomforts and the elations, yet sturdy in a new foundation of no when it’s needed and yes when it’s absolutely right. No self sacrifice to suit someone else.

There’s no need for proving or further searching because it’s already been attained in this wonderful space of fullness. Who would have thought that the simple act of sitting, resting, allowing and letting in could create such a peaceful and fruitful state of being. That to allow one’s self more fully, more wholly and more freely could render those dark, sharp and thorny edges softer and less frightening.

Really, in simple form, this is an un-becoming. A real yet gentle opening into what is sitting there waiting for each of us. A light in the darkness that beckons and calls, Hey you, I’ve been waiting here all along. Welcome. Please stay.

So as I made my way downstairs from my bedroom, ready to start the day, busying myself with breakfast preparation for the family and laundry that has been eyeballing me since the day before, I find myself already happy and satisfied. Already at my pinnacle of fulfilment. Moving with a gratitude that doesn’t require a practice, allowing and accepting in a way that needs no forced effort, trusting as a state of already having received, and becoming, not as a waiting for more of, but as completeness in action. As an ever expanding, moving, whole form that knows what it is, what it can be and what serves it no longer. It is me, true and real, and it feels oh so good.

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I feel there’s a new opportunity here on Substack. Are we going to take up the baton and run a new, deliberately slower and more intentionally connected event?

From what I see and feel on my own feed here, there are a lot of people seeking or atleast endeavouring to carve out a more consciously slower paced, feeling based, connection orientated, community focused way of living and being in the world. I am certainly one of them. For me this is a kind of dream I’ve been able to turn into a reality. Or rather at times, something I’ve stumbled into and am now gradually finding my feet among a growing village of inspiring creatives from all walks of life. And this makes me wonder, what a grand opportunity this could be!

In my previous article I looked at connection somewhat as a reclaiming, a personal reflection on the benefits in writing and sharing on a platform such as Substack. A way of remembering and moving forward with a more authentic and genuine way of connecting. To feel eachothers’ presence. Because with real connection, one’s presence can be enough.

Here I’d like to touch on a new depth of connection. Connection to self first and then to others. And how one can meet the other at the same intersection to bring about greater connection and manifest creative unity, as opposed to the disunity that has been largely encouraged and emphasised in our modern day capitalist world. Now on this note, I’m not here to politicise, demonise or selectively denounce any one way or system. More to support and uplift the spirit, strengthening and guiding that universal human goodness that is so tangible here on this platform. Again, what an opportunity we have here.

Recently, I randomly bumped into a close acquaintance in the street. It was a beautiful day as we stood in the carpark of our local grocer and started to chat. It was a brief encounter, maybe only 5 minutes, but it was lasting. We listened, we talked, we gave our full presence as we shared our latest self-exploration practices as we both enter a new stage in our lives. For her in mid to later life and no longer engaged in paid work, and me juggling new stages of family life with a return to writing, especially here on Substack. Both feeling inspired and challenged and unsure as to how it was all going to look in the future.

But this short connection affected me deeply. It revived me, it enlivened me and overall it made me feel seen and validated. It gave me confidence to keep going, it refreshed my energy, as I noticed a pep in my step when I walked away. And I continued to feel connected and maybe even more whole as a person, as I went about my day. It was transformative. And yet it was a simple random interaction with someone I don’t know very well. Yet it was based on a foundation of her connection and relation to self first, living more consciously and with greater self awareness, and then sharing from that place as I related from a similar place in myself. What a powerful connection indeed.

So imagine as we endeavour to transverse this new terrain, what we can offer here as we continue to evolve and grow as a global community. With our often short but present interactions with strangers, meeting over random but similar things, life benchmarks, serendipitous experiences, moments of ah huh! And all the things inbetween. How fortunate we are to come together here and hold space for oneanother. To show up and give grace or reassurance we’re another might need it. To find acceptance and support from a near neighbour on opposite sides of the world.

Because really, when we connect, are we anything but neighbours? Doesn’t a spacious platform such as this highlight how short a distance we really are from eachother? How your life mimics mine, and his, hers. When what you feel, I too feel in the various ebbs and flows of my day. When the love and energy I imbibe in this piece can be transferred to you, doesn’t that not only reflect our similarities, but our power and our ability to transform ourselves and the world through these simple yet powerful connections?

A reciprocal network of peacemakers, unified in our passions, connected by presence, moved forward by eachother.

And even though at times we’re blinded by our own blinkers, thinking that connection is more of an outward manifestation. But in reality it all starts with us, within us. The igniting of that flame, that feeling, that giving and receiving of presence. And then, it jumps, and whoosh! It grows. We did that. And now it burns more brightly for each of us.

So I feel that when more of us realise that what we’re sharing here comes with such enormous opportunity to dismantle old underlying, and very limiting, ways of being and thinking, then I believe we will begin to witness not only greater individual growth and connection, but more of this for the whole.

With gratitude

Amy

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I’ve been pondering, what are really wanting to connect over and in what way? From a lot what I’m reading here, many of us seem to be working our way backwards. Like a reclaiming somewhat of what we feel we’ve lost in this rush of social media performance based, information sharing. And to be quite honest, I know I have certainly been in search of something deeper. But let me clarify, deeper connection, not necessarily discussing and quoting philosophy’s finest. I feel I did enough of that way-back-when at University. No, I’m talking the real human connection. The kind where you stand near eachother, you face oneanother and you share presence. You talk, you use body language, you joke and laugh, or maybe you relate and cry. This extends to the online format too. Like what we’re doing here, right now. We’re taking time for one another. We’re intentionally giving of our time and presence. And how precious this is. How good it feels. A bit like when neighbours take some time out of each day to have a chat over the fence, always with fresh news and events from the day-to-day of their lives. Slowing down long enough to recognise, give attention to and connect with those passing through their day. I remember this fondly as a kid.

This is the kind of connection I’m recognising here on this platform. A seeking of like minded souls, supporting of and learning from alternative views and experiences, and maybe, connecting through writing as though we’re in person. Sometimes it’s the nuances of the day-to-day, the sharing and recognition of someone’s creative pursuit, or topics that might be affecting society at large. But regardless, it’s connection, it’s the giving of our presence to another; listening, reading, collaborating. It feels to me, somewhat like a reclaiming of what we thought we could do without. Similar to Kindle over books, or books over Kindle. Which did you choose, by the way? I’m a books gal, myself.

So, how do we want to share and receive, and what feels most lasting? I’ll lay myself bare here and admit that while writing this I had quite a deep emotional release. Spontaneous, unexpected and visceral. And as I felt and observed this sudden outpouring, I couldn’t help but feel that maybe I was expressing a collective grief, and relief all at the same time. A moment of, finally! We’re actually reaching eachother! There’s a space where you can be you, no performing required, and low and behold, I can be me! Magic.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been guilty of what has rightly been coined, doomscrolling. I’ve had a dalliance with reels. Occasionally still do. It’s a little bit of fun, but never lasts long. And I don’t need to dig to deep to workout why. For me it’s the lack of real and genuine connection. It’s the feeling, or maybe the knowing that someone is only giving a very brief, side swipe of a comment and not hanging around long enough to really share space with you. To connect deeply and with presence. To take time.

You know when you walk into a room and the feeling is off. You’re not quite sure what it is but it’s hard to connect, hard to talk, and even harder to relax and feel like yourself. It’s the energy. The space just doesn’t fit. Maybe it does for some, but you’re just not feeling it. You need to move on. Well to me it feels like Substack is a place to move on to, to start a fresh and create and inspire and relate in ways that feel more like ourselves. As in whatever feels good to us. No dress rehearsal or big night performance required. Just come as you and bring what you’ve got. In my space there will be something warm brewing, a nice scenic view, a relatable story or two and an open and interested mind and heart, awaiting your shared work, with no expectation that you spend too much time on mine. Your presence is enough.

Happy creating, sharing and connecting.

Warmly

Amy

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