Grounding. Let’s start there. Dressing during the time when summer turns to fall or winter turns to spring is just weird. So let’s put that out there. You’re not the only one feeling like, “whatttt the heck do I wearrrrr?”

So, we’re going to use this time to ground ourselves, get to center, or even experiment a little, but we’re going to do it with grace and a little fun, okay?

First, let’s start back in the beginning with our style words. This is important because as we change, our words change. I was looking back at mine from my style descriptors exercise I make all my clients do (you can download it here) and mine are not the same today as they were in the exercise. And that’s the point. Embracing the change because we are checking in with ourselves every so often to say:

• How do I want my clothes to make me feel right now in my life?

• How do I want to feel when I get dressed?

And so on…

During the exercise a few years ago, I wanted to feel 1. Structured/tailored pieces mixed with 2. Clean, classic and 3. Slightly feminine but 4. a touch of edge and 5. Finished off with elements of interest (texture, pop of pattern/print/color)

Today, I’ve fine tuned that to be:

1. Structured/Grounded (everyday pieces I can do almost anything with)

2. Modern (classic pieces with a twist)

3. Elements of Interest (creative, fun, playful, interesting)

And I’m feeling pretty good about those for who I am today.

I use these words to guide myself when I’m getting dressed, when I’m buying something, and when I edit pieces out of my closet. These words are my north star. A few months back and many conversations with friends, my obsession with Amy Smilovic and Tibi continues because her principals are so on point with how I work with clients. One of which is using your words to guide your style choices. It’s how we all are granted the permission to express ourselves in our own way. If we’re just copying and pasting outfits from other people we see, instead of applying our own words, we’re just using their identity to frame our reality and that’s when things feel forced, like they don’t work for our bodies, like we’re trying to play in someone else’s clothes. (She talks about this more in Episode 1 of Off You Go, her podcast which I love!)

Here is an example of how this plays out in my current closet:

All that to say, when you feel like you’re flailing, when the seasons change (right now, transitioning from summer, still a month left! to fall…) and you’re feeling confused, the first step is to turn back to yourself, reflect on who you are, and what you want out of your clothes. You can read more deeply about this here too. Identify those words and start to pull out some pieces from your closet that align with those words. Build from there. This is how I start to develop my gap list…but more on that another day…more intentionally.

Let me know how it goes. xx, Conni

Doing more with less is a theme that is coming up a lot in the conversations I’m having with clients lately. And honestly, the concept brings such ease and peace, especially when I’m traveling. When I know that all I have to use are the pieces I’ve packed in my carry on, it makes getting dressed so much easier. I almost feel that somehow, I have more options, more ways to get creative with what I’m wearing, and also an ease to outfits that have already been thought through, so I don’t have to think about it on the trip.

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My head’s been exploding with creative interest in the Tibi Color Wheel lately (I am very obsessed with all the values that Tibi founder, Amy Smilovic stands for in her brand) and I have been digging in both with my ISM Founding Members on our live call last week and on my own deeper exploration. What started out as a little research project last week, led me down the rabbit hole of concepts that have really solidified my absolute belief in the core values I have of styling women. It’s unearthed feelings in me I knew I had but when listening to the Off You Go Podcast, hosted by Tibi Founder and Creative Director Amy Smilovic and Keturah Drake, Head of Client Education, it intensified those feelings and values in me.

Here is the biggest nugget that I am going to share with you about style right up front…THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG!! (But the hang up is we want so badly for there to be exact rules to follow that tell us how to get dressed.) Sorry to break it to you, there just aren’t.

We, as humans, and especially as women, want there to be a right way to get dressed and a wrong way to get dressed. I hear it all the time with women, about the desire to look flattering (please, don’t judge that though, we all want to feel pretty in our own eyes…and I say, as long as it’s you you want to be flattering for, go for it) or the desire to feel modern, or current, or like we’re dressing our age. But who makes the rules?!?! Sure, stylists give a lot of tools and rules, but so do 23 year olds on TikTok or our 15 year old daughter or our 71 year old mother. We get “advice” from every which way up and down, left and right, and you know what? If we took ALL THAT ADVICE, we’d be up to our ears in overwhelm and confusion. Which, a lot of women are. Most of the advice out there is based off of learned experiences of that person/those people and it makes it very subjective. If you want to hear more about this, click here.

Enter my core value/belief about clothes, my body, styling my clients, etc. (which is where Amy’s podcast really hit the nail on the head for me.) And a lot of you mind need a mindset reframe after you read this….

It’s ALL ABOUT HOW THE CLOTHES YOU PUT ON YOUR BODY MAKE YOU FEEL. That’s it. That is all. End of story. So let’s test that out here:

• Style Question: I’m 67 years old, can I still wear shorts?

  Answer: Do you feel good wearing shorts? Yes. Then yes.

• Style Question: Can I wear a butter yellow cardigan even though it’s not in my color palette?
  Answer: Do you feel happy when you wear butter yellow? Yes. Then yes!

• Style Question: How do I know if I should try a trend?

  Answer: Well, when you try a particular trend, does it make you feel good, happy, interesting, etc..? No. It makes me feel nervous. Then don’t try that trend.

This is exactly why someone can wear a blazer and feel “strong” and someone else can wear that same blazer and feel like “they’re playing dress up” or “uncomfortable”. Because the former want to wear something to make them feel strong or powerful and that latter wants something to make them feel ease and flow. One piece of clothing can make two people feel two different things. That’s the power of feeling your clothes. And it comes from that feeling within.

These beliefs that we have to, we must do, we can’t do, we should do, we shouldn’t do, come from DECADES and decades of learned behaviors throughout society, the religion we grew up or didn’t grow up with influencing our behaviors, parents telling us what we need to do, wear, be, act…the outside opinions of others, that we have learned to tune into FOR.SO.LONG.

As a stylist, I feel so deep in my core that I am here to act as a guide for women to get to trust their inner voice above all because if there is one promise I’m going to make you it’s that once you do, your style confidence will skyrocket.

Once you start to learn to ask, “Where do those ideas come from?” and “Who is benefitting by sharing that style belief with me?” and “What is it that I actually want to feel in my clothing?” you start to tune out the actual noise and start to tune into your inner voice that you can use as the north star to guide you. Trust me, even if you think don’t have thoughts, opinions, feelings about clothing, you do, ohhhhhhhhh you do. You just need to start paying closer attention.

In episode 6 of Off You Go, Amy says: “Own what you are, so you know who you are, so you don’t confuse opinions for principles.” And that is my mantra. And it’s how I approach educational styling with my clients. Let’s get to know a little bit more about you, huh?

As I continue on learning journey exploring more of the Tibi Color Wheel and the Tibi principles, I’ll take you along with me and continue to share these thoughts, concepts, and ideas, if that sounds okay to you? xx, Conni

In theory, the method is meant to pack like a minimalist, while maximizing outfits (27 outfits!! they say - that’s if you wear and re-wear three tops 9 times). Less = More, which is a theory I 100% subscribe to, as you know if you’ve been following me for a while, to make more out of less in both my everyday wardrobe and when I travel pack. So, when I was traveling to Paris a few weeks’ back, I attempted the Sudoku method, to see how closely it aligns with my Outfit Planning Method I already use. Here was what my “Sudoku” pieces looked like when I laid them out:

Not sure if you picked up on the noticeable differences (from the first image) or not but my pieces included more varied prints and color than what I had seen used so far. (Here is one that did, in fact, use some color but mostly when researching the method, I found that it feels like another paired down version of the capsule wardrobe idea that took hold 8 or 9 years ago). And from my perspective as a stylist, this method lacks personality. You know, the thing that gives us our own unique style perspective?! And one thing that I’ve been really trying to do over the last few years is help clients get the “me” back in their closets again, so we’re not just another “looking like each other” step away from uniformity.

(different “versions” of the Sudoku Method image 1 | image 2 | image 3)

What I found when I started to create outfits out of the pieces, I found some interesting bumps on the road. If I followed the method with the pieces below and used the green/black striped bottoms, paired with the brown and cream striped button up, and layered with the brown cardigan, those colors and the style of shirt didn’t work well together. The colors clashed and the silhouettes didn’t pair well.

Then I tried the cream top and the jeans paired with the cropped denim jacket and that didn’t work either because the fabric & color combo (black denim jacket with denim barrel jeans) and silhouette (cropped jacket) didn’t look right to me.

Because I had chosen two different printed bottoms and a printed top I had some clashing going on. I was also playing with the colors brown, blue, green, black, and cream, and red (shoes & bag, not shown) which were probably more than the norm for the method. At the end of the day, those were the pieces I wanted to take on my trip and I wasn’t going to sacrifice those pieces in the name of the Sudoku Method. I wanted what I wanted and that overrode the method.

The Pros and Cons

So here are some parting takeaways, pros and cons if you will, for what you need to know if you experiment with the method.

1. Silhouettes matter - you have to try on the outfits ahead of time because sometimes if you just follow a minimal color rule, the silhouettes of the pieces don’t pair well together.

2. Great for minimalists, efficiency, reduces overwhelm - if you are someone who doesn’t play with a lot of prints or color, this in fact might be super useful for you.

3. Boring for exploring your style creativity - this method did not light me up intuitively. Yes, it makes packing “easy” but it isn’t stretching your style creativity. And sometimes the stuff that pushes us, makes us more stylish.

4. Lacks a story - Where are the unique “me” pieces?

5. Works better if all colors are 3 or fewer/similar - If you like to use different color spectrums, mixing and matching isn’t as easy, but if you stick to a throughline of color, it works better.

6. Doesn’t account for dresses (a little hint that another stylist friend Sally, from Styled by Sally and I shared over DMs)

When To Use It vs. When To Let It Go

• When it starts to feel like you’re trying to fit this in to a routine but it doesn’t feel like you let it go

• If it makes packing a lot easier for you, use it

But please, for the love of God, if you use it, don’t let it suck your style personality dry (use color! use texture! use prints! if you like them). Style and taste come from our own unique perspective on how we see the world and how we use pieces in different ways to reflect who we are. So if you decide to drink from the Sudoku Method Cup….choose wisely.

Please oh please, share your thoughts with me on this... xx, Conni

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So what we’re diving into is the approach I’m taking with my client. It’s a month long project, it cannot be rushed. It will be meaningful and useful in the long run, so put in the good work and time up front, trust me, it will pay off in the end. Your goal is to have enough pieces to get yourself dressed for one week. One week. You can expand after that. But baby steps first.

Let’s begin:

What does dressing for one week look like? A lot like when you’re packing for a trip. It’s a little something like this:

• 3 different bottoms (2-3 wears each)

• 4-5 tops (1 - 2 wears each)

• 2 layers (multiple wears each)

• 2-3 shoes (multiple wears each)

= 13 pieces total.

Now let’s break down how we get there:

Week 1: Take a Trip

(Time Commitment: 30 Minutes)

Okay, like not a real trip, but put your mind into “I’m packing for a trip” mode and set a timer for 30 minutes and grab only the pieces you would wear if you were going on this spontaneous “trip” to the town you live in. You can grab as few or as many as you want and the pieces don’t have to have any rhyme or reason to them but they do need to be:

• pieces that you currently put on

• pieces you can walk out the door in

• pieces that fit

• pieces that make you feel good

Week 1 (Continued): Take Stock

(Time Commitment: 30 Minutes)

After the 30 minutes is up, review what you threw in your “pack” pile. Take stock of what you “packed”. What pieces are they and how many of them are there? 1? 8? 3?? All bottoms? All sweat pants? A mix of two tops and three bottoms?

THIS IS YOUR STARTING POINT. YOUR GROUND ZERO.

You’re going to focus your energy around these pieces and these pieces only right now. Ignore the rest of your closet for a moment. Why? When you’re trying to look at your closet as a whole, your mindset is in the paradox of choice mode. There’s too many choices in front of you and you can’t make sense of anything. So we’re focusing on the few, to build more out of less.

Write down what the pieces are or take a photo of each individual piece to document them.

Piece #1 ____________________ (Example: Ayla Jeans from Citizen of Humanity)

Piece #2 ____________________ (Example: black cashmere sweater)

and so on…

Start making observations about what you pulled. If you have only 1 bottom and lots of tops, your eventual focus will be on how to expand your bottoms. If you have 3 bottoms and not a lot of tops, your focus will eventually be on bringing in some tops. If you have a couple of bottoms, a couple of tops, but lack interest, your focus will be on finding pieces with interest (texture, color, patterns). Remember, your goal: A week’s worth of outfits. More on this to come.

Questions to answer:

• What do I have a lot of? ______________________

• What am I lacking? __________________________

• What might I eventually need to focus on adding in? _____________________

Week 2: Collect Visual Inspiration

(Time Commitment: 30 Minutes - 2 hours)

This is also referred to as moodboarding. You’re now going to create an image folder on your phone. Title it: Style Inspiration or Visual Inspiration and for the next week, screenshot images of outfits that inspire you and save them to that folder. Bonus if you also go on Pinterest and do a quick search using one of your pieces (example: casual black cashmere sweater outfits with jeans) and add those to your folder too. All you’re doing here is research. We’ll use that research next.

Week 2 (cont.): Review the Visual Inspo

(Time Commitment: 30 Minutes)

This is now where you’re going to do some work that doesn’t make sense right away but afterwards, will. Review your visual inspiration folder and jot down the similarities you see (you’ll see them, you will….)

• Do a lot of the outfits have jeans? What kind of jeans are they? Loose, baggy, trendy, classic?

• Do a lot of the outfits have a cool layer?

• Do a lot have a pop of color? Or a belt?

Look for commonalities. What are they? ________________________________

Now, from the visual inspo you have ideas for where your mind is running. And from your current “pack pieces” you have the reality of what you own. Take lots of notes on the questions below.

• What is it about the collection of visual inspiration that they have that your current pieces do not? What type of proportions do they have that you do not? (baggy, tight, straight, boxy).

• What do the current pieces I have lack?

• What could I focus on adding in to my outfits here to make them tell a more visual story? __________________________________

Add this info to the notes you’ve been keeping so far. These notes will also really help you suss out gaps. For example, if you have lots of printed bottoms or skirts, in your vision folder, do you have a pair of printed bottoms in your “pack pile”? Could that perhaps be a potential gap? Note this.

Week 3: Take 7 Days of Outfit Photos & Notice proportions

(Time Commitment: 30 Minutes per day)

Using one piece from your “pack” pile, put together an outfit. You’ll feel lost, uncertain, but this is the work. Sit in the discomfort. Use one visual inspo to guide you. As you’re building your outfit, where do you get stuck? When you are finished, where does it feel uninteresting or forced or unfinished? Note this.

Example: You may love your new pair of barrel pants and are trying to style it with your oversized cardigan, so you take a photo.

But when you look back at that photo, something feels not right. Are both pieces big and baggy? Do you like that? Do you like how the shoes play into the outfit? Can you swap out a tee, top, tank, or shoe (ie: changing the proportions?) Take another photo.

Does this feel better? Maybe as you’re trying to “swap” something, you don’t have another top you like to swap out for…..this becomes a “gap” item for you. We’ll focus on that next.

Questions to ask:

• What about this outfit do I like?

• What am I not sure about and maybe want to swap?

• What parts of my body do I want to highlight more/less?

• Can I change the proportion so my outfit feels different? (Examples: Long sweater for cropped, high tank for scoop tank, baggy pant for straight leg…)

• Do I have a bunch of the same types of proportions (example: loose flowy swing tops that I wore with skinny jeans)?

Week 4: Start to Build Your “Gaps”

(Time Commitment: 30 Minutes)

Okay, now all back to our goal in the beginning. What we’re trying to do is to have enough pieces to put together outfits for one week with the pieces you have in your “pack pile”. And after going through all these exercises and taking this short list into consideration:

• 3 different bottoms (2-3 wears each)

• 4-5 tops (1 - 2 wears each)

• 2 layers (multiple wears each)

• 2-3 shoes (multiple wears each)

= 13 pieces total

Where might you see the potential for your gaps? How many of the above do you need to help you complete the 13 piece list:

• Bottoms with different proportions _______

• Tops that go with the bottoms ________

• Layers that complete the outfit ________

• Shoes that finish off the outfit ________

You may not be super confident on the gap specifics at first (“I know I want a barrel jean”) but you can develop a general list (“I know I need two new bottoms”) and this will help give you more direction! Then refer back to your vision board for inspo on the type, color, shape, or proportion of those pieces on your gap list above. (“I see a lot of wide leg pants with prints, so maybe that will be something I try…”)

This is the beginning of a new chapter in your life. The beginning of creating a closet you love with pieces you’ll wear.

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I hope this has been a helpful starting point for you. If you’re on this journey at the beginning, let me know where you are (click leave a comment above). I’d love to start some deeper conversations around the struggles of rebuilding. And if you ever need deeper, more specific help, I work with clients to focus on developing their own gap lists and shopping for them too. If that’s you, book a consult and let’s start your journey with a little support. xx, Conni

So here is my short list for my favorites for you, should you find yourself in the city of light like me and you want to soak up all the wonderfulness the city has to offer.

Favorite Restaurants

• Alfi’s - Italian with a slight twist, this darling restaurant serves great cocktails in a quaint environment with wonderful service. Make a reservation.

• Frenchie Bar a Vins - one of my favorites, I go back again and again. No reservations, opens at 6:30 and has a great small bites and wine selection. Hands down one of my favorites.

• Billie - A fun, lively spot with a live DJ spinning cool vibes. It’s cozy and the food is wonderful and the service is awesome. Loved this and would recommend.

Favorite Coffee Spots

• Rem’S Coffeeshop - 3, Rue De Mulhouse

• Noir Coffee - there are many, any are great

• Cordonneire - I’ve been here on almost all my visits since 2015 and I love this spot. Start here and walk up and down the streets in the area, great shopping, both vintage and not in a lively area. Location: 19 Rue du Pont aux Choux, 75003 Paris, France

• Merlo Caffe - also a great spot to start before shopping or stop midway and grab a cup.

• The Coffee - Rue de Montreuil, 60 - Bastille - Ile de France

Favorite Places to Get a Drink

• Rojo - Grab a cocktail and cheese plate after dinner here. It’s dark, candlelit, cozy, and super vibey.

• Bar Nouveau - The energy here is awesome. It’s lively, fun for a right after hours cocktail.

• The Rooftop Bar at Hotel Dames Des Artes

  • This is where we stayed on the second half of our trip and they have a beautiful rooftop patio you can go and grab drinks at from 4-10ish. The views are 360 and totally worth it! Grab a cheese plate, some champagne or a cocktail, and have a chat with friends until the Eiffel Tower starts to sparkle.

• Danico - the experience here is really cool. They have a sort of passport travel menu and every drink is an experience.

• Sevenly Heart - it’s open for coffee but I like to go in the evening and grab a glass of wine

• Cafe Hugo - Just on the corner from the Place des Vosges, this is one of my favorites for grabbing a glass of Sancerre and people watching for a while.

  Location: 22 Pl. des Vosges, 75004 Paris, France

Favorite Vintage & Secondhand Shops (Price points $-low to $$$ - high)

• Bobby ($-$$)

  • There are multiple locations, we stopped into two. I loved the high and low price points as well as the vintage and current secondhand pieces. The vibe was super fun and I picked up a cool green Tibi blazer!

  Locations we visited: 📍168 ʀᴜᴇ ᴅᴜ ᴛᴇᴍᴘʟᴇ 75003 , Paris 📍 89 ʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴜᴍᴜʀ 75002, Paris

• The Parisian Vintage (−$)

  • We stumbled upon this shop on our way from Cordonnaire to a shoe shop and I ended up loving their collection of pieces. From Sonya Rykiel to Christian Dior, they had a nice collection bags, some trenches, and

  Location: 📍20 Rue Saint-Claude, 75003 Paris, France

• En Voiture Simone ($-$$)

  • I went here last year and wanted to come back again. Her price points are great and last year I bought the cropped black denim jacket I’m wearing in a few other photos for around $110. This is a definite stop in.

    Location: 📍 6 Rue du Perche, 75003 Paris, France

• Comptoir Vintage (−$)

  • We stopped in to Comptoir Vintage while shopping down Rue de Turenne and this shop was lovely. The owner, Marlene, really loves what she does and we had a great time trying on all sorts of layers and I ended up buying a cropped leather jacket with gold buttons for around $200.

    Location: 📍104 Rue de Turenne 75003 Paris

• Cadran Noir ($-$$$)

  • Vintage jewelry and watches, rings, bracelets, this was a great shop for vintage jewelry at great price points. I bought a silver ring from the 90’s for around $100.

    Location: 📍 62 Rue de Saintonge, 75003 Paris

• Amarsi ($$$)

  • This shop was on the higher end side of our price point but it was fun to take a peek at pieces. I fell in love with this amazing red patent leather Christian Dior by Galliano bag from the 2000’s and we tried on some fun jackets.

    Location: 📍110 rue Réaumur 75002 Paris

Those were my favorites from my trip this year. I hope if you go, you have the chance to stop by some of these great spots. Bookmark this post for your next trip to Paris and share your favorites with me below. You can revisit my favorites from last year here too.

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When I started out packing for Paris I thought I’d experiment with the Sudoku Method of packing, which is, laying out three rows of clothing strategically (top row: top, bottom, layer, middle row: bottom, layer, top, bottom row: layer, top, bottom) in hopes of creating a ton of outfits with as few pieces as possible (seen below…) Then you can expand on that by using the corners to build additional outfits with a layer top and bottom.

Now in theory I very much like the idea of minimal packing, since we all know I love to pack just a carry on when I travel and think that this “packing trend” could really be useful. But here’s what I found.

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SHINJUKU

• Hanazono Shinto Shrine - (near the Golden Gai area) - grab a sit down coffee at Halo then head to the shrine area, out front, on Sundays. They have a small local flea market with small house wares, art, and clothing, in the mornings. Local vendors, offering good prices.

KOENJI

This was one of the best spots for walking around, grabbing lunch, coffee, and just strolling the side streets - it was easy to get to, from the Koenji station and you could lose yourself for hours popping in and out of all of the spots. Most of the vintage spots were menswear focused but that’s the beauty of being able to find cool menswear layering pieces.

📍BROTHER - this was a great spot for denim jackets (my friend found a great vintage Levis) and other layering pieces - @brother.kouenjiJapan, 〒166-0003 Tokyo, Suginami City, Koenjiminami, 3 Chome−44−14 ＫＮ

📍OO VINTAGE - @oo_koenji

📍Momotaro Jeans - try on a well made pair of Japanese selvedge denim made in Japan- 3 Chome-49-1 Koenjiminami, Suginami City, Tokyo 166-0003, Japan

📍Unstitch - @unstitch_online

SHIBUYA

This was a lively, busy area in the city to walk around, pop in to various vintage and everyday shops, as well as cafes and bakeries. (I stopped at Kappa in Tokyo for açaí and coffee)

📍GLEEFUL - this was a great spot to find upscale brands and cool layering pieces, I found a great leather bomber jacket for around $200. - Japan, 〒150-0001 Tokyo, Shibuya, Jingumae, 6 Chome−18−12 2F @gleeful_harajuku

📍KAPPA | 6-23-6 Jingumae, Shibuya, Tokyo 150-0001 @kappa.shokudo

📍SHIBUichi Bakery for amazing baked goods - Japan, 〒150-0002 Tokyo, Shibuya, 1 Chome−23−26 @shibuichi_bakery

GINZA

This is a great place to people watch, grab coffee and walk around. You can find a lot of unmarked vintage shops and secondhand stores on the Main Street and side streets.

📍rt by RAGTAG VINTAGE - 2nd floor - I tried on two super cool layers, a beautiful blue coat from Jacquemus and a fun layered rain jacket from Batou - 3 Chome-3-15 Ginza, Chuo City, Tokyo 104-0061, Japan

DAIKANYAMA

This is like the “Brooklyn” of Tokyo neighborhood, bustling with local shops, eateries, and shopping, both vintage and new.

B.C. STOCK - Where I found my cool reversible black/brown jacket! - 19-5 Sarugakucho, Shibuya, Tokyo 150-0033, Japan

CHUN SHUI TANG - sit down for a beautiful espresso ceremony, what a lovely treat - Japan, 〒150-0034 Tokyo, Shibuya, Daikanyamacho, 20−9 アクシス２０９代官山 3F

Here are some fun articles I came across while researching addresses and such that I thought would also give you more inspo if you’re planning a trip to Tokyo and love to secondhand shop as much as I do!

• A Koenji vintage clothing guide

• A guide to vintage in Japan

• My Vintage Shopping Day in Tokyo

If you have any vintage shops in Tokyo you love, add them in the comments! xx, Conni

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There is something about not knowing and speaking a language that makes you more of an observer when you travel. And there are benefits to that. More looking around, more quietness and living with your thoughts, stepping back and just being. Will I go back to Tokyo? 100%. Here’s what I wore and what we (mostly) did on our trip.

We had some amazing weather while we were there and so, typical to what I do when it’s cold, I used my layering pieces as my “key” fun pieces to my outfits, knowing I would most likely be wearing them all day. Here was my packing list again, with one swap out, a tan wrap coat for my green long coat.

So here’s how the outfits all came together once I was there. You can read more about my packing list and how I played with my outfits and pre-packed here.

Travel Outfit

I typically try to take my most bulky items on with me, so I’m wearing my tan wrap coat (mine is old from Italic but a similar one here), my heavier sweater from Sold Out NYC, my Freda Jada’s (which go with me everywhere, code 10CONNI for 10% OFF, and my wool wider leg pants from Vincent James, and a black Sold Out NYC Tee) - Necklace is Thatch, code CONNI15, and glasses are Warby Parker, my trusty carry on is from Delsey (I use this one for my longer haul trips vs the smaller Away carry on I have) and I almost always take my Freda Mika tote (similar newer version here).

OUTFIT DAY 1 || Area of Tokyo: SHIBUYA

We walked around an area of the city known as Shibuya which is a really vibrant area filled with great shops, coffee spots and the beautiful Meiji Jingu Gaien (a park where you can see some amazing Cherry blossoms blooming). This was our first big day, woke up around 6:30 am, most of Tokyo doesn’t open until 11 so we leisured around in the mornings, which was a super nice way to start the day. We hit up a 7-11 immediately after walking out of our hotel for a smoothie, a coffee, and an egg sandwich.

OUTFIT DAY 2

I met up with a friend and went secondhand shopping with her and it was a blast! We scoured the Koenji area (my favorites are mentioned below) and ate the best sushi! I found a super cool reversible cropped jacket (not secondhand) that was one of my favorite finds of the day. This was in the Sarugakucho (Daikan-yama) area which is also a super cute “Brooklyn” style neighborhood with lots of shopping and coffee shops. I tried on Japanese Selvedge denim at Momotaro Jeans which was a fun experience.

OUTFIT DAY 3

We spent the day walking around the Taito-Kaminarimon area near Asakusa, where they call Kitchen Alley to find some fun home goods. I found some beautiful Japanese bowls and Clint bought some awesome Japanese kitchen knives.

OUTFIT DAY 4

We went to Team Labs Planets in Tokyo which was an amazing exhibit (I’d highly recommend with or without families traveling, it’s such an experience). Then spent the rest of the day walking around the Ginza area. I tried on Onitsuka Tigers at the Ginza Red shop and went home with a pair.

OUTFIT DAY 5

We took the shinkansen high speed train from Tokyo Station to Gala Yuzawa to spend the day in the snow! We made it back by the end of the day to have an amazing omakase sushi dinner at a family run small

OUTFIT DAY 6

OUTFIT DAY 7

This was our last day before traveling home. We spent the day around the Ginza and Harajuku areas walking around, grabbing donuts at this amazing bakery, vintage shopping, I found an amazing vintage brown leather bomber in a shop here too!

WHERE I WENT SECONDHAND SHOPPING (and a few other non-vintage spots too)

SHINJUKU

• Hanazono Shinto Shrine - (near the Golden Gai area) - grab a sit down coffee at Halo then head to the shrine area, out front, on Sundays. They have a small local flea market with small house wares, art, and clothing, in the mornings. Local vendors, offering good prices.

KOENJI

This was one of the best spots for walking around, grabbing lunch, coffee, and just strolling the side streets - it was easy to get to, from the Koenji station and you could lose yourself for hours popping in and out of all of the spots. Most of the vintage spots were menswear focused but that’s the beauty of being able to find cool menswear pieces.

• Oh Brother - this was a great spot for denim jackets (my friend found a great vintage Levis) and other layering pieces -

• Oo vintage - https://www.instagram.com/oo_koenji/

• Momotaro Jeans - 3 Chome-49-1 Koenjiminami, Suginami City, Tokyo 166-0003, Japan

SHIBUYA

• #FFFFFFT - 2-3-5 Sendagaya, Shibuya - cool selection of white tees *only open on the weekends

GINZA

This is a great place to people watch, grab coffee (I stopped at Kappa in Tokyo for açaí and coffee) and walk around. You can find a lot of unmarked vintage shops and secondhand stores on the Main Street and side streets.

• Ragtag rt Ginza Shop - I tried on two super cool layers, a beautiful blue coat from Jacquemus and a really awesome rain jacket with a removable blouson bottom.

• Gleeful - this was a great spot to find upscale brands and cool layering pieces, I found a great leather bomber jacket for around $200.

• Kappa in Tokyo for açaí and coffee

• SHIBUichi Bakery for amazing baked goods

THINGS I DON’T WANT TO FORGET

• napkins are more like wet wipes - take some with you when you

• heated toilet seats, everywhere, they’re the best

• slippers, when inside, almost always - in hotel rooms, sometimes at restaurants

• Suica card - add to your wallet - load $$ on to your Suica card and it will get you around the metros, taxis, and making purchases in Tokyo.

Packing a carry on has really been a game-changer for me. I love traveling with just a carry on and knowing it gives me the creative freedom to have fun and push my abilities to mix and match. (We did check an empty small suitcase to check any goods we purchased back home and it worked perfectly.) This trip was such an amazing family experience. Tokyo is an amazing city and we just scratched the surface. I’ll be sharing more about my vintage, secondhand, and shopping finds and some Tokyo street style on Instagram. So stay tuned! xx, Conni

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We’re heading off to Tokyo next week and I’m in packing and planning mode. Every time I travel, a carry on is my best friend. Carry on’s are perfect when you have multiple flight connections, they force you to think smarter about what you’re wearing and for me, it’s like style Sudoku, where I get to take a big puzzle and work it out visually.

It wasn’t always this way, when I was in my 20’s I went on a series of trips within a 6 month period of time and the airlines lost my luggage more than once. On one particular trip, I was nannying a family (I used to teach and over the summer, I would also nanny) and we were going on a trip to Hawaii and then to the smaller island of Lanai. Every one of the family bags arrived, except mine. 9 days, no luggage. I had to wore a gift shop bathing suit and two dresses, on rotation, for 9 days. They never found my luggage. It happened again a few months after that. Then one trip to Paris in my 30’s with a big suitcase, lugging it up the narrow stairwell of our hotel cured me from ever taking a huge carry on again.

It helps that I’ve built a closet that has pieces in there I love to wear everyday. And that I can visualize those pieces for my vacation. Sometimes I think when we go on vacation, we like to reinvent ourselves, into some persona we’d never be in our day to day life. The free, open minded, non-stressed, “extra” version of ourselves. And we want to dress that way too. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to “live our best lives” but when we get back from vacation, what happens to the “extra” stuff we purchased for that vacation? Now we have to deal with the vacation pieces fall out. I think it works better if we can see pieces in our closet as also working double and triple duty for all the other moments of our lives.

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So to avoid that, packing a carry on has been my solution. And it works for me. I love researching the weather about 7-9 days out, looking at my closet, and challenging myself to build outfits off of a bottom, playing with a couple of tops, and a layer.

Recently I did see someone mention the idea of a sudoku method of packing, which to that I say, if it works, go with it. What happens if the weather changes when I’m on vacation? Well, then I head to a local shop and make a purchase. But the rarity of that happening, means I’m doubling down on my carry on. I also love to shop when I’m on vacation, mostly scouring second hand and vintage shops I find ahead of time, saving them to my Instagram saves, and pulling them up when I’m there. If I buy something or multiple somethings, I’ll figure it out when I’m leaving. The point is, the freedom I feel from having to not worry about lugging too much in my suitcase when I’m traveling, leaves me with more mental enjoyment on vacation. For some that feels too restrictive, they like the “options” that overpacking can provide. And that’s okay too.

Traveling and all it offers is a big source of pleasure in my life. And I’m leaning into making what I pack a source of ease and pleasure too. I’ll keep you posted on what I pack, for our 8 days in Tokyo, and what I may source secondhand while I’m there. If you need help travel packing, here are some videos to get you started but I also work with clients to help them travel pack in outfit planning sessions too. xx, Conni

Oh, and if you’ve been to Tokyo, drop your favorite places to eat and shop in the comments!

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The core question I asked myself was, “Is how we set up our closets helping us in the long term or the short term?” One has many more benefits than the other.

Now let’s zoom in to how our society does things. We are currently living in a time of consumerism merging with convenience. Anything we need is right at our fingertips. This has us caught up in waves of sales, links, clicks, and quick buys. Why? Because our time is limited, our to do list is a long, and the convenience of the quick click makes our lives easier. If it can get to our door quickly, it’s one less thing I have to think about… And there’s an ease to this. But…

But when it comes to clothes, what I’m seeing, firsthand, in clients’ closets right now, since the pandemic really, is that this click/buy —- add to closet —- click/ buy——add to closet —- habit is causing a build up of short term pieces that aren’t working for us in the long term. Which is why that phrase, “A closet full of clothes, with nothing to wear” keeps popping up.

One of those reasons? We buy too much. We simply do. We buy to keep up with that busy life and no time that we have. We buy to keep up with the Joneses. We buy because we get sucked into the life someone else lives.

It’s not just the buying part. But more importantly, HOW WE ARE BUYING. Our buying habits and practices have gotten way too frequent. We’ve gotten to a point where we are buying, non-stop. A this point, we’re just buying constantly, year round. Buying is always on the mind. So it’s no wonder we’ve have the build up. (And we feel overwhelmed. Don’t even get me started on the resistance to edit the overwhelm out (or “face the ghosts of closet past” as I said in this reel here). We’re so busy with our lives, we’re only always thinking in the short term, which is fleeting, and exhausting to keep up with. And this isn’t helping us develop long term buying habits to create a closet we’re happy about.

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And why should we care? Because from my angle as an (intentional) stylist, many, many women are unhappy with their closets, lost in their style, and buying has become the short term security blanket. And it’s not helping us develop our long term style story. Our story that tells people who we are. What we love. How we live. Our story that makes us unique. We’ve lost the plot (is it because we’re following the influencers??). Who knows exactly. But I’m currently on a mission to help women (you, my clients, me) start to tell their story again. It begins with examining our shopping habits. Shopping can be fun and explorative, but when we don’t understand why we’re doing it, it can also be a nasty, cost consuming habit.

Short Term Gain Closets

What does a short term closet look like? Short term thinking/buying habits is looking at buying for ourselves like this: How can I figure out a quick solution to my immediate problem? Over the years editing hundreds of closets, these are the buying habits that I see create short term gains in the closet (and lead to all the build up and end up being regret pieces we let go of):

• Whenever we’re about to go on vacation, we start shopping for a new wardrobe to make us feel good because we don’t like what’s in our closet

• Buying trend after trend after trend, never knowing if we “should” or not

• Whenever there is an event, a gala, a friend’s dinner, a birthday, shopping for something is the first thing we think to do

• We impulse buy, over and over again, and let emotion override logic

• If something looks “cute” we buy it

• If it can arrive in a couple of days, we get it

• We find something we like, and we buy it in multiples because it “just works”

• If it’s on sale, that’s our reasoning for buying a bunch

• We justify the quick purchase because it was $20…$31…$52, and we start to accumulate a bunch of these pieces over time

These types of short term purchases don’t have a lot of depth to them. They work in the immediate present but then when we look at them, they don’t resonate, and we’re filled with guilt or a lack of understanding about ourselves. “How did these get in here? I don’t even recognize myself in this piece.” It’s because we didn’t have to stop and think about our purchase. We just did it. And these are the reasons why we end up constantly feeling like we’re fighting an uphill battle in our closets.

“Okay, so I’m here, I feel seen”, we might be saying. So what do I do now? We HAVE TO change our mindset, our shopping practices….here’s what I mean.

Long Term Investment Closets

So what does a long term investment closet look like? When we start thinking like this: How can I be intentional and careful and really pause and think before I buy? Here are some examples of long term thinking/practices for our closets:

• We shop from a list as much as possible, maybe have a notepad next to our closet and note when we feel like we’re missing something

• We wait, source, scour for an item and find it in our size(and bonus if it happens to be on sale!!)

• We love the fit, quality, feel of the piece so we wear it a lot!

• We know the story behind the brand, where we bought it from, and we love to tell our friends about it

• We take things to alterations and pay the extra $35 to alter it because it’s worth it to have it fit better

• We come across something that makes us smile every.time.we.wear.it. It’s one of a kind and makes us feel like ourselves.

• We spend time reflecting on ourselves and avoid the urge to impulse buy

• Whether it’s on trend or not, we buy it, wear it, and love it.

• We edit regularly, so our closet moves forward with where we’re at in our lives.

• We buy less often. Period.

These are the pieces, time and time again, that I find clients hold on to because they tell their/ your, my story. The long term pieces that we build our closets around, that define who we are when we go outside, when we travel, when we LIVE! our lives.

My plea? We need to be more discerning, more “my bar is raised higher” when we’re letting clothes into our lives. We shouldn’t be buying as much, we should be more careful and we should be critiquing our closets more, asking, “Are you allowed to stay??” rather than just settling. But in order to do that, it’s going to take a mindset shift. Our BUYING PRACTICES HAVE TO change and our mindset has to change. We have to think before we buy.

That’s what I’m asking us to do, that’s where your story will start to develop and you can share that story with others, and you can say “this is the story I am choosing to share with the world today.” And if you don’t know, I’ll guide you. I’d suggest starting to re-write your story with an edit. If you want to do it yourself, here is my 5 day closet reset if you’re motivated (please share that with me below!) Or if you want guidance (click here to book a consult).

Let’s begin to create long term investments within our closets and our style story will start to show. xx, Conni

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And for now, let’s jump back into the Style Reset. We last left off with Part 5, where we laid out the type of lifestyle we live & talked about how we want to feel in our clothes (our vibe). What does this mean in simple terms? We do things day to day - we go to work or work from home or don’t work at all, we also go out, to the grocery store, to dinner with friends, this is the type of life we live. And for these events, we put on clothes (yes, duh, Conni, we put on clothes…). My point here is that we need to start paying more attention to how we feel when we put on our clothes. Sometimes we feel like we nail it and sometimes we feel like we don’t. But we need to understand why. In order to do that, we have have to start learning how to look back and make observations. So let’s quickly lay this out.

Style Challenge

You are going to spend the next 7 days, starting today, taking photos of yourself. After a week, review pictures of yourself. This is where the work happens, so know you might be a little confused but also you’ll probably have an aha moment!

Answer these questions throughout or at the end of the week, after looking at your photos/thinking about what you were wearing/not wearing:

• What do I wear the most/on repeat?

• What did I put on/take off and didn’t end up wearing? (Does this pieces/these pieces continue to go unworn in your closet? Examine why you think this is.)

• What do I wear least?

• What do I think I rewear that maybe I could use a slight update of, or maybe a different version of because it feels like a good “me” piece?

• What do I like about some of the outfits I put together?

• What did I not like? What would I not repeat?

• Did my outfits match how I wanted to feel? If not, what words should I lean more into?

But it’s important to do this because once you can start to distill the feelings in an outfit, you get better at figuring out outfit formulas and what you want to buy, wear, fill in as gaps or repeat outfits. Maybe there are some pieces that become your favorites and you can now start to describe why. Or maybe there are pieces that aren’t fitting your vibe anymore and you can start to let them go. I’d love to hear, in a weeks’ time, what was the hardest part, an ah-ha moment, or a piece that you finally can nail down why you love/dislike it so much! Whatever it is, I want to hear about how your reset journey is going. Upload your pictures (or at least ONE photo!) and any thoughts or takeaways or struggles or successes to our group chat!

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xx, Conni

PS: We’re going to get back to a live chat this week! Stay tuned for an update in the chat.

This year, if you’ve said things to yourself like, “I'm overwhelmed with my closet”, “I wish I could be more stylish”, or “I need to spend some time on myself” then here are some things you can do, that I did last year, that will help.

1. I Trusted My Inner Voice

We ALL have this voice (you could call it your conscience, your guide, the holy spirit, whatever you want to call it, it’s there). But what’s been happening is that we have been tuning into the outer voices of social media so much more these days that we think we can’t trust our inner voice anymore. Or we’ve done so much negative self talk that our inner voice is nothing but negativity…If you’re in either of those camps, I challenge you to take a break from any social pressure (unfollow…) that’s telling you, you should “wear, do, buy…this” and go into your closet. Pull out one thing (shirt, sweater, bag, shoe…) that you LIKE. Put it on. Then (if you have a notepad/pen great, do some jotting!) say out loud, “I like this because…..” And that’s your inner voice coming out. Note what it says. And start to do this more often. You can also ask yourself aloud, “How does this make me feel?” And then write those feelings down. It doesn’t have to be complicated but the idea here is that we have to recognizing/start leaning in to the positive associations we have with a piece. And then we have to almost practice feeling those feelings to remind ourselves they are possible and should be replicated. We should trust this inner voice above all others.

Here are some of my favorite outfits from 2025…I leaned into trusting my intuition to tell me “YES!” and as a result when I look back at these outfits, they all felt like “me” outfits.

2. I Developed Stronger Opinions

Take some time to observe this quality…being opinionated. Some of the most stylish people are the most opinionated. Being opinionated gives you a point of view and makes you more decisive. It lets you take a side, a stance, that says, “This is how I think about this!” When we have opinions, we are less likely to falter when trends come our way. And because trends are flying left, right, and center these days, it gets shaky out there, a lot more often. Examples of my own opinions are:

• I do not like/wear flip flops (and I live in San Diego)

• I like the color red even though it’s not in my “color palette”

• I don’t buy clothes on Amazon or at Target because I don’t like the quality

• I love turtlenecks!

The great thing about opinions is you get to have them and no one can take them from you. If you really think about it, you have LOTS of opinions too you just may not have applied them to your style and now is the chance. Take that notepad or on your notes app and go back to your closet and write down the answer to this:

• What necklines do you have the most of in your closet?

• What necklines do you not have any of?

Now stop to think about why? Why do you have the most of one thing and nothing of the other….These are your opinions come to life in your closet. Any time you have strong reaction to a trend (good or bad) that’s an opinion. Write it down. Start to feel strongly about things and you’ll start to really hone in on what you actually like and don’t like. It will also make you more careful about what you buy/bring into your closet. This will strengthen your style!

3. I Observed & Practiced (A LOT!!)

One of the things I love most about traveling when I do is to observe how others are putting together outfits. The other day, I drove up to the Long Beach Flea Market and you guys, there were such super cool (to me!) outfits (the outfits on the left and right below) and you better believe I snapped some photos. I’m not trying to copy, I’m getting visually inspired! I do this when I go to concerts, when I’m at the airport, in a new city, a coffee shop. Then I use this to play in my own closet, using what I have.

For me, it’s not about creating these exact outfits, it’s about noticing what I like. Two words that stand out to me from these pictures are: texture & volume. This year, I want to play with texture, volume, and color A LOT more. This is the lens through how I’m going to express my personality and creativity in 2026.

An actionable thing you can start to do with the observation process is to take photos. Take photos of yourself. Take photos of things you see that inspire you. Then look back at those photos (I do this every month) and ask yourself, “What do I like about this?” or “Where is my eye going in this photo?” “How can I apply this to my own style?”

Here are my takeaways. Style doesn’t come naturally. I have to play and create, observe and take notes, then practice, practice, practice. Just like any other skill I’m trying to get better at, only time and practice will make me better at it. Trusting myself, and developing opinions that no one can take from me, and observing the world around me make me more comfortable in my own skin and how I want to express myself to the world. The better I know myself, the stronger my style has become.

If you don’t know where to start, I would suggest starting with the Intentional Style Reset…it’s like a deep dive into getting to know yourself again, when it comes to style, and a look into why you like what you do. There are easy style exercises you can put into action to start to figure yourself out a little more in 2026.

xx, Conni

Most of the women who are part of ISM Founders live semi-casual lives (and you probably do too). Meaning we’ll have a few holiday parties, maybe a dinner or get together at home but it doesn’t require a high amount of fanciness that needs a special dress code. So I thought, Why not build up off of some basics we have? and asked them to give me some suggestions. So for the purpose of keeping this easy, we’re using:

• A black pant - full length - pull on (casual piece)

• A pair of jeans (lighter in wash, more casual)

• A leather pant (slightly elevated)

Let’s dig in. Now, when we’re using some of the more casual pieces, it’s helpful to remember this little trick of 3’s.

(1) Start with your base (mostly simple, casual) +

(2) Add color in some way (nails, lips, bag, shoe, layer, in a print…) +

(3) Add interest of some sort (texture; velvet, sequins, fur, knit or prints: stripes, floral, animal print, or layered jewelry in different shapes, sizes; gold with silver, pearls with rhinestones…)

= Holiday Outfit

Build and play from there. Here’s what I mean.

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The Inspiration - Black Pants

In this first outfit, I’m using a casual full length black pull on pant with a casual turtleneck. The vibe is monochrome, chic, and elevated but semi-casual (pant). I want to pull in a velvet blazer and a studded boot (interest with texture), then finish off with a print (color). Here’s how it turned out:

The Inspiration - Jeans

For the second outfit, I played with color a little more, using a sweater that I bought last spring, it’s red, so it plays into the holiday well. You don’t have to use red (color), per say, it just worked in this situation. I paired with silver and gold accents (who says you can’t mix metals?! there’s the texture/interest) and really layered the necklaces for a more interesting vibe. Here’s how it turned out.

The Inspiration - Leather Pants

The last outfit was built around playful styling. I used a pair of leather pants from Sezane I purchased two years ago or so. I wanted to play with unexpected color so I brought in an oversized ticking stripe vintage Ralph Lauren button down from Estella Vintage NYC (I bought iy when I went to New York last month). To me this is interesting on so many levels because it’s all about comfort and style and not about being fitted or proportionate. It’s says holiday without being overly holiday and it plays with pops of silver here and there to bring in some interest. Here’s how it turned out:

A lot of what I used was already in my closet, so you may be able to source inspiration from your own closet or secondhand too. If you’re a paid member, you’ll get access to our community style call we had today. It will be in the resource section on Monday! In the meantime you can also see the outfits in “reel” time here. The outfits that are "linkable” are in ShopMy here. Next week, I’ll try to pull together some more elevated holiday outfits for you too (using what I have in my closet, of course!). Hope this gives you some holiday styling inspo! xx, Conni

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Last week we went over part 4, your everyday life, we jotted down our typical week. I want you to review that week and answer this question: How would you describe your overall week? As well as dig into what the energy of your week, the dress code of your week, and the feelings/vibes of your week are. Ready?? Let’s go!

Take a moment to review your typical week. Again, if you need to jump back to Part 4 first, to review, do so here. Then really think about the type of life you live, energy wise. We all have different speeds, or energy levels, depending on where we are in life, where we live, and what we do. (This is important to identify the type YOU have because this way your not dressing for an elevated dressy life that you don’t live, if you catch my drift…).

The Energy of My Week is:

• High (demanding, overscheduled, energetic, busy, always to do lists I can’t cross off)

• Medium (a little bit of high and low, some scheduled, some unscheduled, some time to myself, some time devoted to shuttling others around…)

• Low (peaceful, laid back, relaxed, unscheduled, casual, free time for me to decide how to spend it)

For these activities from day to day, what do you have to or get to wear? Most of my weekly activities require me to dress…..

• Very Casual or Relaxed (comfortable, altheisury, laid back)

• Semi-casual (elevated but comfortable)

• Dressed up/More formal (wearing a uniform of some kind or work wear pieces most often)

Here is my life:

I would say after reviewing mine, it’s demanding some of the time, but not overly scheduled, so MEDIUM ENERGY. I have days that are busy but I have moments of down time. And most of my activities require me to be elevated, but comfortable, I get to decide what I want to wear almost every day of the week. I would say I have to be SEMI-CASUAL.

My week is _______________________ (energy) and __________________(dress code)

Now that we’ve established your week and dress code. Now is the part where we take ownership over how we want to feel. This is the VIBE.

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Applying the Vibe to Your Lifestyle

Now that we’ve gone over what type of lifestyle we’re living, we now need to think about how we want to FEEL when we are getting dressed. We are going to call this our vibe. (Notes: You get to decide what vibe YOU want when you’re wearing what you wear. This might sound crazy, but YES, you can control the vibe!! And once you do, you’ll find that you’re starting to pick out and wear pieces that align with your vibe, thus creating a more enjoyable closet for yourself. )

Example of a Typical Week in My Life

• Monday: School drop off, Virtual Meetings with my assistant, online styling for clients, pop into my studio (How I want to feel: Casual, comfortable)

• Tuesday: Closet Edit with a client (How I want to feel: Put together, stylish, comfortable)

• Wednesday: Working from Studio or home, Virtual calls with clients, outfit planning, online shopping, school pick up, tennis mom (How I want to feel: Put together, stylish, comfortable)

• Thursday: Flying to SF for a client for a closet edit - travel day - home at night - (How I want to feel: Put together, stylish, elevated, comfortable)

• Friday: Outfit planning session with a client, school pick up, family dinner out (How I want to feel: Casual but with a touch of interest)

• Saturday: Soccer, errands, maybe Farmers Market, maybe a friend dinner or date night (Daytime Vibe: comfortable, put together, casual // Nighttime Vibe: Elevated, comfortable, stylish/elements of interest)

• Sunday: Relax at home or simple tasks around the neighborhood (How I want to feel: Comfortable, cozy)

• *Extra Activity I Do Once a Month: Travel up to SF or LA for the day (*refer to Thursday)

How Do We Want to Feel? What’s the Vibe?

For each day, think about, “How do I want to feel in these activities that I’m doing?” No one gets to tell you how you need to feel, you get to decide here. And this is important because you need to take ownership over how you want to feel!

• Monday - I want to feel comfortable and casual

• Tuesday - I want to feel put together, stylish, and comfortable

• Wednesday - Put together, stylish, and comfortable

• Thursday - Put together, stylish, elevated, comfortable

• Friday - Casual but with a touch of interest

• Saturday - Daytime Vibe: comfortable, put together, casual // Nighttime Vibe: Elevated, comfortable, stylish/elements of interest

• Sunday - Comfortable, relaxed, cozy

WORDS FOR MY VIBE

What are some similarities that you can start to pick up in how you want to feel? For me its: Stylish, put together, comfortable, and moments of extra/interest

So I need to be asking myself, “Is what I am wearing, buying, keeping in my closet, allowing me to feel, stylish, put together, and comfortable?”

Style Activity / Style Exploration

1. Identify what what the energy of your week is like.

2. Jot down how most of your weekly activities require you to dress.

3. Then identify the vibes/feelings you want to feel doing your activities during the week?

So yours should look like a one sentence statement like this (this is mine):

My week is medium (energy) and I can dress semi-casual (dress code) and I want to feel: Stylish, put together, comfortable, and moments of extra/interest

From there, go into your closet and pull 3 pieces (it can DEFINITELY be more, but starting with 3 feels manageable) that match how you want to feel? The more pieces you can match with your vibe and that you know you can wear for your lifestyle, the more you will feel that style identity of yours coming through. Here are mine:

Here is what the looks like in my closet: (this is really important to start to pull some pieces you can identify with words, this will help your style identity start to show itself)

• Stylish - My barrel jeans, my vintage/second hand blazer, My mary jane flats

• Comfortable - My Sold Out NYC tanks and tees, these are always my go-to’s for comfort, my loafers

• Put together - When I add a belt or finish my outfit off with my brown suede bag or

• Elements/Moments of “extra”/interest - My fringe jacket, my cool bomber jacket, my red sweater

Use the worksheet below and this post to help guide you.

Then come back and share your sentence with me in the comments below. You can go back to the other parts of the Reset here, if you need to review it all as well! If you’re a paid member, we will have a LIVE call this week, so check the chat for the date and time and we’ll discuss part 5. Jot down any thoughts/questions to share on our call!

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Here are my personal go to bottoms of choice that I wear with my chelsea boots:

1. Full Length Wide Leg Jeans / Full Length Pull On Pants

Wide leg jeans are my favorite style to lean into because they feel like the easiest way to fit a chelsea boot under. I have been wearing a longer length, as it’s my preference at the moment, and find that this formula, with a cropped or fitted top and mid length layering piece makes a great outfit formula. I’m using my vintage suede jacket I found for 30 Euros at a secondhand shop in Paris.

If you are looking for a great suede jacket, I’d seriously consider trying to source one secondhand. There are some amazing options out there. I started linking some secondhand suede jacket finds for you here.

2. Straight Leg Jeans

Straight leg jeans, that sit at my ankle, as long as they don’t taper in, work for me too. They tend to just touch the top of the boot or hang over ever so slightly, so I’ll pair a fun sock with them. A formula of a cozy mid length sweater, an ankle jean, and a long layer (like a wrap coat or trench coat) is a good go to. Outfit inspo is linked here

3. Full Length Pull on Pants

This is my go to travel outfit (I’d swap out the boots for a loafer) but this formula works every time. It’s minimal, easy, and put together. What works here with the chelsea boot is the cropped jacket. It gives it a pulled together vibe with a simple, but textured, layering piece. Pieces are linked here

My Outfit Inspo for Chelsea Boots

On Monday, I’ll be styling my chelsea boots in a reel to coincide with this post, so stay tuned! Whenever I want more style inspo, I put together some moodboard ideas. It helps me to wear whatever I’m moodboarding more often. Hope these outfits give you some ideas as well. The boots I have and love are the Brooke Boot by Freda Salvador. They are my favorite rainy day boot (are rain resistant) and are super lightweight and comfortable. I have them linked here (they are 25% off at the moment) as well as other colors too. *code BLACKFRIDAY25. Happy Weekend!

xx, Conni

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*Paid Subscribers* We’re having a LIVE call this Monday, November 17th at 10:30 am PST for 30 minutes for you to jump in/out, ask questions, chat about the Style Reset with me. *Click here to add to your calendar*

As a reminder of where we are now:

Part 1: Setting goals → Part 2: Laying out who we are and what we love → Part 3: Showing examples of “who we are” as it relates to our closet → Part 4: Our Lifestyle: What we do impacts what we put on…

Our Lifestyle: What We Do From Day To Day

This is the part that often gets forgotten but is actually a key factor in determining how we get dressed. Our daily life is the reality we live in, there’s no aspiration here, it’s our errands, our drop offs, our soccer Saturdays. It’s our jobs we do, our tasks we manage, and our friendships and relationships we maintain. Our LIFE is what we dress for. But sometimes, often, when we’re scrolling social media, we get oh-so-caught up in the aspiration* and forget that we don’t actually live that same kind of life (this is sometimes why we get caught in the trap of ordering something from an influencer, only to have it sitting in our closet unworn). *aspiration - dressing for the life we “wish” we had instead of the life we live.

So we’re going to examine our own lives to get a glimpse into how we’re living and what demands we have. Ready?

Style Exploration #4

I want you to grab a pen, print out this sheet, and your notes from our journey so far. Think about a typical week or two in your life. Begin to jot down what you do from day to day. And include that extra activity you do from time to time (maybe 1-2 times a month). We are going to explore more about our lifestyle in the next two parts, so this is setting us up for part 5 & 6!

Monday: ________________

Tuesday: ________________

Wednesday: _____________

Thursday: _______________

Friday: __________________

Saturday: ________________

Sunday:__________________

Extra Activity You Might Do One Week or Once a Month: _____________

Example of a Typical Week in My Life

• Monday: School drop off, Virtual Meetings with my assistant, online styling for clients, pop into my studio

• Tuesday: Closet Edit with a client

• Wednesday: Working from Studio or home, Virtual calls with clients, outfit planning, online shopping, school pick up, tennis mom.

• Thursday: Flying to SF for a client for a closet edit - travel day - home at night -

• Friday: Outfit planning session with a client, school pick up, family dinner out

• Saturday: Soccer, errands, maybe Farmers Market, maybe a friend dinner or date night

• Sunday: Relax at home or simple tasks around the neighborhood

• Extra Activity I Do: Travel up to SF or LA for the day

This is a typical week or two in my everyday life. And I know that it might seem obvious, but I bet your life is a little like mine but a lot different than mine, right? This is why we need to steer clear of advice that tells us “we all need a….” when in fact, your life might not call for a _______________(fill in the blank!). Once we start recognizing our life for what it is, we can DRESS FOR THAT LIFE! Hooray! More on that to come in the next two lessons. For now, jot that life of yours down on paper!

In the comments, let me know, what is your everyday life like? What are one or two things you do regularly during the week? Or what is your “extra” activity you do a few times a month?

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Women tend to be more emotional, which greatly impacts our choices, how we feel, what memories we give to a piece in the present and then in the past. These emotions can be such a benefit when connecting to others but can come back to bite us when it comes time to look inside our closets.

The first wave of emotion causes us to feel guilty, connected, a sense of loss, regret, all of these feelings, when we are reviewing clothes trying to decide whether or not to let go. Then the second level of the emotional wave comes crashing in, “then I’ll have nothing to wear” and bam, a closet of emotional ties that leave us weighted down instead of feeling the joy we should be feeling when we are getting dressed.

What if we had the option to reset, to set those emotions aside for a bit, to review and let go from a more pragmatic eye? How would we do it? We can start by looking at the “facts” about ourselves. What I mean is jotting down some “data points” (physically writing them down on paper) so instead of defaulting to the feelings of resistance and emotion, we can turn to our data points to help guide us.

“Data points” are things about ourselves like:

• Measuring my 3 favorite jeans, pants, or leggings, from the crotch to the top (that’s the rise) that I wear all the time - finding the average, and deciding that that’s the height (the rise) that feels comfortable on me - and sticking to that for a while.

• Or observing that my favorite outfits always have a shirt tucked in and a belt because I like to emphasize my waist.

• Or that I feel best when I wear V necks or the color blue or flats or…

Simple things like this are my personal “data points” and all of this keeps my style compass from veering too far off course.

This is one of the reasons I started doing the Intentional Reset on Substack. I’m going through it right now and it’s super helpful. Even someone who feels as developed in my style as I am, can use a little reset to make sure I’m not falling into a spiral of style doubt. I promise that is it indeed possible to come out the other end, feeling more confident about your closet, if we learn to drop the resistance of letting go. If we reset those emotional connections we have and turn them into a voice of positive affirmations…I heard this phrase once, that I’ll re-write in my own words… that letting go of things that aren’t positively serving us will make room for bigger and more beautiful opportunities. I believe this to my core.

One simple task you can do in the next 7 days is to start collecting “data points” about yourself. You can take a photo of yourself in an outfit for a week, every day, no matter what you’re wearing, and after 7 days, look back and observe yourself if those photos.

Some questions to start asking:

• What do I like about this outfit, me in this photo, how do I feel?

• What do I not like, what would I not repeat in this outfit, how do I feel?

• Are there similarities that keep popping up? What are they?

• Are there pieces I wear again and again? What do they have in common?

Start doing this, start cataloguing your style journey in photos, and document your thoughts. If you have been weighed down with your closet lately, and feel that there is not light at the end of the emotional tunnel, then might I recommend reconnecting with yourself again, getting some data down on paper, and joining the style reset, so you too can feel like you have a fighting chance at developing your personal style and start letting go of those pieces that aren’t working, allowing you to make room for more opportunities.

xx, Conni

Share your thoughts on today’s post. How are you feeling about this topic??

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