time for another look at the events coming in the following three weeks…

🗓️ Events

• Tuesday 18th August 🇩🇪: Men’s circle in Prenzlauer Berg on the topic of ‘emotions & values’ hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Thursday 20th August: Breathwork & reflection session for men organised by Hot Boys Cry

• Friday 21st August (lunchtime): Online info session for the next Beyond Patriarchy cohort. This is a learning journey for men to learn more about feminism, the patriarchy and inspect/learn/unlearn certain behaviours and thinking pattern. The program includes six weekly sessions in Kreuzberg starting 22nd September. (more info on the program, registrations are open here)

• Sunday 23rd August: Online men’s circle hosted by Zack (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Tuesday 1st September 🇩🇪: Men’s circle in Prenzlauer Berg on the topic of ‘emotions & values’ hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Monday 7th September 🇩🇪: Impro workshop for men in Moabit, hosted by Matthias (in German)

PS: If you’re looking to meet that significant other (and you’re straight), check out Social Circle who have scheduled a bunch of alternative dating events over the coming weeks: social-circle.ch

New 7-Week Program on Fathering starting September

The Fathering Journey is a seven week online space for fathers, father figures, and men expecting or planning to become fathers, to explore fatherhood honestly, emotionally, and with real depth. Together, participants look at the fatherly line they come from, the culture that shaped their idea of fatherhood, coparenting, and the emotions men rarely get room to voice.

The program is facilitated by Juan, who started doing men’s work in 2019 and who has been running workshops and support spaces around masculinity and fatherhood ever since. He was inspired to create this experiment after how his own journey through fatherhood made clear how much support was missing for men navigating that change.

Start is scheduled on the first week of September 2026. The day of the week will be determined based on what’s best for the participants. Contribution is flexible based on family income, keeping the space accessible. Write to hello@reconstructing-masculinity.net to set up a short call and explore how the program fits to you.

➡️ More info: Reconstructing Fatherhood

📢 Men’s Corner

In this recent article, Richard Reeves cleans up with several flaws that he sees in masculinity research. E.g. I’ve personally cited a statistic in this newsletter a while ago that half of 16-25 year old men in the US, UK, and Australia believe that women have it easier than men, use feminism to keep men down, and should fulfil their traditional roles. Reeves points out that a lot of the scales that are used in these types of surveys have a strong negative bias in how they are written. The interpretation of these scales also has a strong bias because we don’t know what respondents were thinking when they answered:

Of Boys and Men

Towards a sensible approach to measuring masculinity

I hate being asked to define “positive” or “healthy” masculinity. Partly because I don’t want to be prescriptive. There is no more one way of being a good man than there is of being a good woman. The closest I tend to come is to point out that in almost every society, manhood is defined in terms of producing surplus value; of giving more than you get…

Read more

2 months ago · 83 likes · 29 comments · Richard V Reeves

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing reflections, relevant news & articles, and by listing men’s circles and events in Berlin. New to men’s circles? Read this and this. If you prefer audio/visual watch this.

I used to have a deficit-focused mindset when it came to my friendships. I felt like I didn’t have enough friends and that I had to take it slow so as not to ‘waste them’.

This meant each week or weekend I would just contact a handful of friends and wait to hear back from them. I paid attention to not overdo it with any one friend so I wouldn’t come off as desperate. If a friend wouldn’t write back or would say no a few times, I would ease off and try and not to push it.

Being focused on scarcity also meant that I was hesitant about introducing friends to each other for fear that they might get along too well and then potentially hang out without me. I was scared that I might be excluded.

Nowadays I still have some of these behaviours, but I manage to let go a bit more off the scarcity mindset in this area.

🗓️ Events

• Monday 3rd August 🇩🇪: Impro workshop for men in Moabit, hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Tuesday 4th August 🇩🇪: Men’s circle in Prenzlauer Berg on the topic of ‘emotions & values’ hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Friday 7th August: The New Man Men’s Circle at Heilehaus e.V. in Kreuzberg; this is a taster session for a closed men’s circle in German 🇩🇪 which will meet 10 times this year; if you’re ready to commit to going deeper by being part of a closed circle, please sign up via Telegram DM to Nick

• Tuesday 11th August: Sound bath & reflection session for men organised by Hot Boys Cry

• Friday 21st August (lunchtime): Online info session for the next Beyond Patriarchy cohort. This is a learning journey for men to learn more about feminism, the patriarchy and inspect/learn/unlearn certain behaviours and thinking pattern.

  The program includes six weekly sessions in Kreuzberg starting 22nd September. (more info on the program, registrations are open here)

🎬 Movie Tip 🍿

If you haven’t seen it yet, I recommend watching the movie Obsession. It’s partially a just-for-fun horror thriller. But in my opinion it’s also a statement about masculinity and being a man. In particular, the catastrophe on which the plot is built stems from the protagonist’s ‘Nice Guy’ tendencies. He likes his best friend, but he just cannot get himself to tell her that. So he wishes she just realises on her own and that’s where it starts…. Apart from a few scenes of shocking violence which in my opinion could have been skipped or softened without hurting the story, the movie actually made me reflect on the nature of relationships, what’s healthy and what’s not.

Tuesday 4th August the movie is shown at the open air cinema “ARTE Sommerkino Kulturforum”.

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing reflections, relevant news & articles, and by listing men’s circles and events in Berlin. New to men’s circles? Read this and this. If you prefer audio/visual watch this.

last Wednesday, I went to a workshop about friendship for men by Hot Boys Cry. After a short check-in and an introduction to the topic, we went into small groups to discuss what we’re looking for in friendships and what’s missing to make that happen. We had a very interesting and intimate discussion and found many things in common.

At the end of the workshop, we were encouraged to exchange contacts. Who knows, maybe a room full of people who are actively looking to improve their friendships could also be a good room to make new friends? But what I felt at this moment was resistance: “I don’t want to do that right now.”

Then after I had left the event I had second thoughts: “Oh, maybe I should have asked for the contact of this or that person after all?” This is a familiar pattern for me. I feel resistance when I have the option to actually make new connections, and later I feel slightly upset that I didn’t. This might be a self-defense mechanism—perhaps an attempt to avoid rejection or the discomfort that comes with putting myself out there.

I guess I still haven’t learned my lesson and will try again next time: If I feel the smallest interest to stay in touch with someone, ask for their contact. Then worry later about if and how I actually want to reach out to them. But at least I’ll have the option.

🗓️ Events

• Tuesday 21st July 🇩🇪: Men’s circle in Prenzlauer Berg on the topic of ‘emotions & values’ hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Wednesday 22 July: Forum Theater workshop for men in Neukölln. Have you ever been in an intimidating situation or witnessed public harassment, and didn’t respond in the moment, but later found yourself imagining how you could have? This is your chance to rehearse that response. In this workshop you’ll get to explore conflicts that happen to us in public spaces, and build strategies to resist or intervene. 📍Hasenheide Park, suggested donation of 15 EUR, RSVP to feminist.spaces.collective@gmail.com

• Thursday 23rd July: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Sunday 26th July: Online men’s circle hosted by Peter (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Wednesday 29th July: Men’s circle in Friedrichshain hosted by Peter (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Friday 31st July (lunchtime): Online info session for the next Beyond Patriarchy cohort. This is a learning journey for men to learn more about feminism, the patriarchy and inspect/learn/unlearn certain behaviours and thinking pattern.

  The program includes six weekly sessions in Kreuzberg starting 22nd September. (more info on the program, registrations are open here)

• Wednesday 5th August: Friendship Workshop for Men hosted by Peter (Conscious Men Berlin – this is the first ever event hosted under the umbrella of this newsletter). ​Making friends and maintaining friendships as an adult is hard. As men we learned patterns that might make it even harder. In this workshop we’ll reflect on our experiences, give each other support, and come up with new approaches and ideas.

• Friday 7th August 🇩🇪: The New Man Men’s Circle at Heilehaus e.V. in Kreuzberg; this is a taster session for a closed men’s circle in German which will meet 10 times this year; if you’re ready to commit to going deeper by being part of a closed circle, please sign up via Telegram DM to Nick

📢 Men’s Corner

I’m not a fan of watching football/soccer and I missed most of the men’s World Cup. In case you’re like me, you might have missed some interesting discussions in the public about how Norwegian striker Erling Haaland lives his masculinity…

The player breaks with a bunch of clichés and stereotypes about male athletes. His close, openly affectionate friendship with England player Jude Bellingham is often celebrated as a positive antidote to toxic masculinity [BBC article]. He owns a collection of luxury handbags [CNN article]. He treats people with respect and is generally a modest guy. Discussions of his behavior are blowing up on the internet. Here are two examples of Instagram stories: 1, 2.

It’s great to see this getting so much attention in the public. I hope the near future will bring more such role models of positive masculinity.

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing reflections, relevant news & articles, and by listing men’s circles and events in Berlin. New to men’s circles? Read this and this. If you prefer audio/visual watch this.

last week was tough. At close to 40 degrees in Germany over multiple days I felt like I couldn’t think straight. There were a few moments where I was close to losing it. Like when train after train got cancelled, even though I was so close to home. Somehow I made it through those days. I decided to just continue and do what I can instead of striving for perfection.

I couldn’t do work at my best. Lack of sleep and general discomfort from the heat affected my mind in a way where I felt that I had reduced brain capacity. I couldn’t be the most brilliant or sharp in social situations either, but I still showed up. It was such an interesting experience to be pushed to the limits like that. I’m grateful I didn’t crack and I hope you found a lifeline to hold onto as well during that time.

🗓️ Events

• today, Sunday 5th July: Online men’s circle hosted by Peter (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Tuesday 6th July 🇩🇪: Impro workshop for men in Moabit, hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Tuesday 7th July 🇩🇪: Men’s circle in Prenzlauer Berg on the topic of ‘emotions & values’ hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Thursday 9th July: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Thursday 16th July: Social gathering at a pub in Friedrichshain hosted by Hans & Peter (Berlin Men’s Group). An evening to catch up between regular members of the Berlin Men’s Group and an opportunity for anyone to get to know the group.

• Thursday 23rd July: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

📢 Men’s Corner

If you’re still looking for a festival to attend this summer: I recently came across the European Festival of Brotherhood happening 13-16th August in the Netherlands. It will include a camp style festival atmosphere but instead of music, the content is focused on ‘masculinity in all its manifestations’. There is no set program yet, but it appears that the weekend will be made up of a series of ceremonies and workshops. You’ll have time to reflect on your own path in the company of other men.

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing reflections, relevant news & articles, and by listing men’s circles and events in Berlin. New to men’s circles? Read this and this. If you prefer audio/visual watch this.

I spent the last two weeks on holidays in New York City. Apart from current politics, the United States can have a bit of a bad reputation for being super capitalist. And often we hear that in Western countries people feel lonelier and lonelier because of technological progress, among other things. This may all be true, but nonetheless I observed that in New York it’s so much easier to talk to strangers than in Germany. I saw people casually talking to each other on the Subway, having chats on the elevator and more.

This is one of the most densely populated and busy places in the world, and the centre of global capitalism, yet somehow there’s an element of human connection that I don’t feel in Germany. In Berlin there seems to be an invisible wall I need to overcome every time I consider talking to a stranger. I ask myself: “how will they perceive me?”, “will I bother them?” etc. And more often than not I don’t say anything. In New York the default mode seems to be open to talk to anyone.

This observation also puts some of the advice I’ve read about how to talk to people into perspective. I’m a bit of a geek of reading personal development books. For example, the books “How to talk to anyone” and “How to talk to absolutely anyone” were both written by Americans. The content is inspiring, but I can’t translate it 1-2-1 to a German context. In Germany, people are just wired differently and there is a different bias for communication. Maybe someone will write a book about how to talk to strangers in Germany at some point?

🗓️ Events

• Tuesday 23rd June 🇩🇪: Men’s circle in Prenzlauer Berg on the topic of ‘emotions & values’ hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Saturday 27th June: Workshop on masculine dominance – For men who want to understand what healthy, embodied dominance looks like and start living it. The workshop is hosted by Paul who has a background in BDSM.

• Sunday 5th July: Online men’s circle hosted by Peter (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Tuesday 6th July 🇩🇪: Impro workshop for men in Moabit, hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Thursday 9th July: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

📢 Men’s Corner

Richard Reeves brings us news of a positive development: More fathers are taking paid parental leave. The data stems from the United States where 10 states have introduced paid leave programs for dads since 2019. It says that leave-taking has roughly tripled since then. Fathers taking parental leave is a crucial part in creating more gender equality. It means getting to spend time with a newborn, growing into the role of being a father, and discovering how to care for the little one.

Of Boys and Men

Actually Dads are taking lots of parental leave

Over here at Of Boys and Men and AIBM, we’re a positive bunch. We don’t think nice guys finish last. We are super-reluctant to engage in “gotcha” scholarship, pointing out limitations in the work of other researchers…

Read more

3 months ago · 34 likes · 9 comments · Richard V Reeves and Anders Knospe

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing reflections, relevant news & articles, and by listing men’s circles and events in Berlin. New to men’s circles? Read this and this. Or watch this if you prefer audio/visual.

I’ll skip the introduction this time because I’m on a holiday and didn’t have time to write a reflection. Watch this space again in two weeks!

🗓️ Events

• Sunday 7th June (today): Picnic for men to connect and have conversations on a deeper level, hosted by Monika, Jack & Jindy (Oneliness/Beyond Patriarchy/Leader.Brother.Son)

• Monday 8th June: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg organised by Urban Joy

• Tuesday 9th June 🇩🇪: Men’s circle in Prenzlauer Berg on the topic of ‘emotions & values’ hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Thursday 11th June: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Sunday 14th June: Online men’s circle hosted by Zack (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Tuesday 23rd June 🇩🇪: Men’s circle in Prenzlauer Berg on the topic of ‘emotions & values’ hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Thursday 25th June: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

🍿 Movie Recommendation 🎬

I loved watching Ladies First, a new Netflix production with Sacha Baron Cohen and Rosamund Pike. In the movie, a male advertising executive is thrown into a world where the roles of men and women are reversed. In this world the obstacles that women need to overcome in everyday life are visualised by turning them around and making them against men. For example do the female executives suddenly make fun of the protagonist for being moody because he probably didn’t jerk off in a while… What I didn’t like so much is that all the men in the movie are full Mad Men style chauvinists. Even though the story is set in today’s time, it doesn’t show any nuance in how different men behave. Men are simply displayed as a bit stupid. But for the comedic and educational effect I’m willing to tolerate that. A recommended watch!

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing reflections, relevant news & articles, and by listing men’s circles and events in Berlin. New to men’s circles? Read this and this. Or watch this if you prefer audio/visual.

according to Handpicked Berlin’s 2026 salary report, the gender pay gap in Berlin is 17.6%. The report is based on a survey of 4000+ employees in Berlin with a focus on tech and tech-adjacent workers, including a high-share of internationals.

It’s hard to process for me that in today’s time there can still be such an extreme discrimination against women when it comes to salary. And this in Germany, where gender equality and inclusion of minorities are among the all-time favourite conversation topics (ranking behind recycling and Mülltrennung, though, of course).

According to the report, the median of women’s salaries is a whole €15k lower than that of men. The survey is not representative and may have self-selection bias, but there’s no reason why the sample should be especially skewed towards high-earning men. So I think the data at least point to the size of the problem.

Of course, there are some structural differences such as more men in leadership positions, differences in work experience or working hours, which can generally lift the median salary of men above that of women. But the report finds that the pay gap is consistent across seniority-levels and type of role, and it only focuses on full-time employment. A remaining distortion could be that women cluster around lower-paying jobs and in smaller companies, which tend to pay less.

The message is clear: We’ve got more work to do in Germany towards gender equality. For women one focus needs to be lifting salaries and making them equal to salaries of men. For men, one focus should be making it more normal to talk about how we are and what we are struggling with, something that I’m working on with this newsletter.

🗓️ Events

• Sunday 24th May (today): Online men’s circle hosted by Zack (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Wednesday 27.05 (all genders): “How to feel” workshop about emotional intelligence, self-regulation & emotional awareness organised by Hot Boys Cry

• Thursday 28th May:

  • Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

  • Social gathering at a pub in Friedrichshain hosted by Kostas (Berlin Men’s Group). An evening to catch up between regular members of the Berlin Men’s Group and an opportunity for anyone to get to know the group.

• Tuesday 9th June 🇩🇪: Men’s circle in Prenzlauer Berg on the topic of ‘emotions & values’ hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Monday 8th June: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg organised by Urban Joy

• Thursday 11th June: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

📢 Men’s Corner

Today I’m sharing an article about how becoming emotionally independent from their mothers can positively shape men’s lives. You could call it a necessary step toward becoming a happy and fulfilled man. The essay draws on ancient storytelling and argues that independence should not mean guilt:

YNB’s Substack

Why Men Need to Break Up With Their Mothers

The Oldest Story We Know…

Read more

8 months ago · 7 likes · 9 comments · YNB

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing reflections, relevant news & articles, and by listing men’s circles and events in Berlin. New to men’s circles? Read this and this. Or watch this if you prefer audio/visual.

Robert Bly highlights in his book ‘Iron John’ how immature men tend to run after newness and excitement, while mature men are willing to commit and to endure repetitive work. In today’s language you might call this ‘grinding’ away in order to achieve something. Bly in his book uses the metaphor of gardening. A garden needs constant pruning and it requires commitment—it binds you to one place. It’s not exciting all the time, but if you devote yourself to it with patience, it can be a great source of joy over time.

While I’m not the biggest fan of the book—the language is a bit too abstract and poetic for me—this idea has been sitting with me for the past couple of days. For example, I went to a funfair last weekend with the option of bungee jumping. In the past, the opportunity to get such a kick would have seriously tickled me. This time, I just thought that I better save the money and invest it into something lasting. This is just one small example of a trend that I’m observing in myself over the past couple of months: It seems that I’m willing to forgo short-term pleasure and a great story more often in order to build the life that I want. It’s consistent with what Bly is describing.

At the moment, I’m also considering what that means for my career: In the past I’ve always tried to show people that my life is interesting by picking interesting jobs and doing interesting things: I moved to London, then started working for a streaming platform for erotic audio stories. I’ve struggled a bit telling people where I currently work because compared to what I did before, it seems a lot more grounded and not as exciting. In the future, I wonder whether I should follow my passion and keep it as interesting as possible or pick a more stable job which guarantees me a higher income and will make me feel more secure. But my fear is that I will regret taking the ‘boring route’ in a few years. I guess this is a very human struggle…

🗓️ Events

• Monday 11th May: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg organised by Urban Joy

• Tuesday 12th May 🇩🇪 Men’s circle in Neukölln on the topic of ‘emotions & values’ hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Thursday 14th May: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Saturday 16th May:

  • 🎁 B O N U S (all genders): Deep talk event on the topic of ‘Work, Worth & Identity’ organised by Julia

  • 🇩🇪 Men’s circle for ambitious men in Alt Treptow organised by House of Men (in German)

• Monday 18th May 🇩🇪 (all genders): Workshop on attachment types in Mitte hosted by Georg (Abenteuer Freundschaft, in German)

• Tuesday 19th May:

  • Sound bath & reflection event for men organised by Hot Boys Cry

  • 🇩🇪 Men’s circle in Prenzlauer Berg on the topic of ‘emotions & values’ hosted by Matthias (in German)

• Sunday 24th May: Online men’s circle hosted by Zack (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Thursday 28th May: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

🎞️ Movie Tip: Materialists 🎬

Lately I’m finding a lot of movies that shine an interesting light on masculinity and gender dynamics. Today’s example: Materialists, streamable on German Netflix and made by A24, the same company that produced The Drama (from the last newsletter).

The movie focuses on a rather technical aspect of contemporary dating: People have lists of requirements for a partner they are looking for, a checklist that their dates need to match. The movie takes this one step further and portrays dating as a value exchange: Your job, social standing and looks give you a certain amount of status which makes you ‘worth’ something. Then you go to the dating market and look for someone who matches the status currency you have, or maybe you reach up. For men, status often particularly comes from career and income, as well as physical height.

This logic reminded me of the Sexual Marketplace Value concept from the Manosphere and the Sexual Economics theory from the field of social psychology. Both theories roughly say that dating and choosing a sexual partner is like trading status and resources.

Watching the movie brought up lots of interesting questions about my own relationship: What kind of life do we want to lead? Where do we both stand in this ‘marketplace’? Are we financially compatible? And more. Being such a thought-provoking watch I’ll forgive the somewhat predictable rom-com ending…

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing relevant news & articles, my own reflections, and by listing men’s circles and events. New to men’s circles? Read this and this.

one of the things on my bucket list: I would like to buy my own flat and own the house that I live in. Maybe you’ve thought about the same?

I did the math: It doesn’t make sense. A nice 2-room apartment in somewhat-central Berlin would cost €400-500k. But it wouldn’t be enough space for me and my partner in the long-term. By the time the mortgage is paid off we would have long moved out. For a decent 3-4 room apartment we’d be looking at a price of €750-900k. If I take the current interest rates which are close to 5%, I’d be paying a substantial monthly ‘rent’ just to cover the bank interest, not even contributing to principal payments yet. I can get a flat in a similar category cheaper if I rent instead of buying via a bank credit.

Because I like the idea of owning brick and mortar as a stable investment, I looked at real estate stocks and ETFs as an alternative. After a bit of research I realised that they are not really as stable as it seems. Real estate companies are valued by the risk-adjusted return of their properties, meaning what the buildings return in rent minus costs, compared to a risk-free government bond. If risk-free interest rates go up, then the return of this (more risky) real estate company goes down, because rents stay the same and only adjust slowly over time. Real estate companies like Vonovia might even struggle to cover their costs if they have to refinance their debt with higher interest loans in the future. That’s why the value of real estate stocks can fluctuate quite a bit. It’s a whole different game compared to owning a house yourself.

If you buy a real estate ETF, what comes on top is that if it’s an international one, it contains a large share of US companies which in turn have high exposure to (AI) data centres at the moment. This again can be highly volatile—AI bubble anyone?

I don’t really have a good conclusion to this dilemma yet. I invest small amounts into real estate ETFs and Vonovia now, but it doesn’t appear to be such a stable investment as when I first thought “I want to own real estate”. I’m also not going to buy my own apartment anytime soon—the cost-benefit calculation just doesn’t add up for me.

🗓️ Events

• Monday 27th April: Second edition of a regular in-person men’s circle in Wilmersdorf. Every two weeks from April to June, with an option to be continued afterwards. Facilitated by Hans (Zigmal/Berlin Men’s Group)

• Thursday 30th April: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Sunday 3rd May: Online men’s circle hosted by Peter (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Tuesday 5th May 🇩🇪: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg on the topic of the relationship with your dad hosted by David (Men with Courage, in German)

• Wednesday 6th May: Start of a regular online men’s circle happening weekly on Wednesdays, for 8 consecutive weeks. Facilitated by Jindy (Leader.Brother.Son)

• Monday 11th May: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg organised by Urban Joy

• Thursday 14th May: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Monday 18th May 🇩🇪 (all genders): Workshop on attachment types in Mitte hosted by Georg (Abenteuer Freundschaft, in German)

🎞️ Movie Tip 🎬

This time I’ll recommend a movie that is running in cinemas currently: The Drama. It’s a story about a relationship, but it’s not a rom-com. A young couple is about to get married. Then the groom finds out something from the past of the bride that changes the game. He has to reassess how he feels about her, whether he wants to go through with the marriage or not. What makes the movie funny is that the wedding is happening in the same week and the groom feels increasingly under pressure. You laugh about the absurd situations he finds himself in and at the same time the movie raises the question: “What would I do if I was in that situation?”. I went to see it with a male friend and we had an interesting discussion afterwards.

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing relevant news & articles, my own reflections, and by listing men’s circles and events. New to men’s circles? Read this and this.

And the usual disclaimer: This newsletter reflects my personal opinions and experience and does not constitute investment advice, financial advice, or a recommendation to buy a specific financial product. Please conduct your own research or consult a licensed financial advisor before making investment decisions.

the Law of Attraction is the idea that you attract what you focus on.

At the start of the year, I set a goal for myself: spend a few minutes every morning visualising my goals.

I did it consistently for a few weeks—then I stopped. I got bored. The routine stopped stimulating me.

So I picked up Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by the author mentioned in the headline. It had been on my reading list for years and I decided now is a good time to start. Maybe it could provide me with additional insights or inspiration.

The core idea is simple: most people approach goals by looking at the past, analysing what went wrong and how we can fix it. Instead, we should focus on the future—and imagine already having what we want.

That part wasn’t new to me. But one idea stood out: don’t just visualise success—feel grateful for it.

Not just “I achieved this,” but “I’m grateful I achieved this.” As if you’re looking back from the future, with the outcome already behind you. That subtle shift adds another layer: emotion. Specifically, gratitude.

I’ll try this for a few weeks and let you know how it goes. 🤙

🗓️ Events

• Monday 13th April: Start of a regular in-person men’s circle in Wilmersdorf. Every two weeks from April to June, with an option to be continued afterwards. Facilitated by Hans (Zigmal/Berlin Men’s Group)

• Wednesday 15th April: Social gathering at a pub in Friedrichshain hosted by Hans (Berlin Men’s Group). An evening to catch up between regular members of the Berlin Men’s Group and an opportunity for anyone to get to know the group.

• Thursday 16th April: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Saturday 18th April 🇩🇪: Workshop in Kreuzberg on the topic of ‘Your inner calling’ hosted by David (Men with Courage, in German)

• Sunday 19th April:

  • Online men’s circle hosted by Zack (Berlin Men’s Group)

  • Shared table dinner in Pankow on the topic of performance hosted by Jack, Jindy, and Monika (Beyond Patriarchy/Leader.Brother.Son/The Oneliness Project)

• Monday 20th April 🇩🇪 (all genders): Workshop on attachment types in Mitte hosted by Georg (Abenteuer Freundschaft, in German)

• Tuesday 21st April 🇩🇪: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg on the topic of ‘Your life story’ hosted by David (Men with Courage, in German)

• Thursday 23rd April: Breathwork session and sharing circle for men in Prenzlauerberg, organised by Hot Boys Cry

• Thursday 30th April: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Wednesday 6th May: Start of a regular online men’s circle happening weekly on Wednesdays, for 8 consecutive weeks. Facilitated by Jindy (Leader.Brother.Son)

🎞️ Movie Tip 🎬

The movie “A thousand words” initially struck me as a typical Hollywood movie from the 2000s (it was shot in 2008, but released in 2012). But then it surprised me with its depth: It’s about a now-grown man who’s father left when he was a child. The movie sends him on a mission to forgive his dad, which he ends up doing by imagining he’s his own dad to himself as a boy. Unexpected deep healing for a movie that on the surface seems like a simple comedy with Eddie Murphy. Maybe the movie’s deep topic is the reason why it bombed at the box office, I don’t know. But I can recommend the watch. You can find it on German Netflix under the title “Noch tausend Worte”.

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing relevant news & articles, my own reflections, and by listing men’s circles and events. New to men’s circles? Read this and this.

In two hours, I’m running the Berlin half marathon. But I’m not well prepared. I know I can finish. I’ve done it before. But I didn’t have the time to train for performance.

In the past, I would have felt guilty about this. Now I see it differently. I’d rather stay fit enough to run 2–3 races a year at a moderate pace than burn out trying to optimise—and end up being less active overall.

What about you? Are you motivated by setting higher and higher goals? Or do you keep showing up at the same level, trusting that consistency will lead to results?

Reply if you like—or just think about it.

🗓️ Events

• Sunday 29th March: Online men’s circle hosted by Peter (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Monday 30th March: Workshop in Mitte on the topic of male friendship & connection organised by Hot Boys Cry

• Tuesday 31st March 🇩🇪: Men’s friendships meetup in Prenzlauer Berg hosted by Georg (Abenteuer Freundschaft, in German)

• Thursday 2nd April: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Monday 13th April: Start of a regular in-person men’s circle in Wilmersdorf. Every two weeks from April to June, with an option to be continued. Facilitated by Hans (Zigmal/Berlin Men’s Group)

• Wednesday 15th April: Social gathering at a pub in Friedrichshain hosted by Hans (Berlin Men’s Group). An evening to catch up between regular members of the Berlin Men’s Group and an opportunity for anyone to get to know the group.

• Thursday 16th April: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Saturday 18th April 🇩🇪: Workshop in Kreuzberg on the topic of ‘Your inner calling’ hosted by David (Men with Courage, in German)

• Sunday 19th April: Shared table dinner in Pankow on the topic of performance hosted by Jack, Jindy, and Monika (Beyond Patriarchy/Leader.Brother.Son/The Oneliness Project)

🗞️ Men’s Corner 📢

Recently, I’ve become more interested in branding—partly influenced by the business degree I’m currently pursuing. One area that particularly fascinates me, and sits at the intersection of this newsletter, is how brands successfully market to men.

That curiosity led me to come across the story of Monster Energy. I’m not a consumer of energy drinks. The artificial flavours and branding just don’t speak to me. But Monster is an undeniable success story. By positioning itself as a ‘wild’ brand tied to rock music, action sports, martial arts, and gaming, it has captured a large, predominantly male audience—and grown into the world’s second-largest energy drink company, behind Red Bull.

➡️ Article: Unleash the Beast – The Juicy Origins of Monster Beverage

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing relevant news & articles, my own reflections, and by listing men’s circles and events. New to men’s circles? Read this and this.

I have to admit that even though I participate in men’s circles and write this newsletter, I’m not very good at showing my emotions. What comes easy to me is getting angry, but expressing a wider range of emotions, e.g. sadness, is a challenge.

With that in mind, it’s refreshing to see that there are places where men show emotions in public. The men in the reality show Love is Blind on Netflix, for example. Opinions diverge about the show’s participants, but for me these are men who are on average very good at communicating their feelings. When I watch the German edition of the show I see men crying, and putting their emotions and feelings in words over and over again. This is necessary because their mission is to get to know potential partners without seeing them.

Another recent example of a public display of emotion is the singer Bad Bunny who breathed heavily and almost cried when he found out that he received a Grammy award.

These are models of an updated image of masculinity that I hope to see represented more and more in the media. May they inspire more men to publicly show their emotions and change the stereotype of what society expects men to do or not to do.

🗓️ Events

• Thursday 19th March:

  • What About Men? Online discussion group on the topic of ‘Men, Divorce and Kids’ hosted by Simon (PathForge)

  • Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Tuesday 24th March:

  • Wolf Huddle in Friedrichshain hosted by Hans & KH (Zigmal, Berlin Men’s Group). A format for men to promote self-care, connection & resilience throughout the winter (last edition for now as winter is coming to an end).

  • 🇩🇪 Improv workshop for men hosted by Matthias (in German); want to stop overthinking and start playing? In this workshop you can let out your playful side in an all-male group – without any pressure to perform and in a safe environment.

  • Online discussion group on the topic of ‘Reinventing yourself’ organised by Daniele (Token Man)

• Thursday 26th March: Social gathering at a pub in Friedrichshain hosted by Kostas (Berlin Men’s Group). An evening to catch up between regular members of the Berlin Men’s Group and an opportunity for anyone to get to know the group.

• Sunday 29th March: Online men’s circle hosted by Peter (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Thursday 2nd April: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

🗞️ Men’s Corner 📢

I don’t follow the top 40 and I’m usually very critical when musicians become overly famous. Bad Bunny, mentioned in the intro, made it to international fame throughout the last few years. Initially, I brushed him off as a trend that I didn’t understand and didn’t want to understand. Later, I started to learn a bit more about his personality. Bunny stays true to his culture (Puerto Rican/Latino) by singing in Spanish where most international artists have long switched to English. This article is about his expression of masculinity, which is confident, yet fluid at the same time:

Equimundo Bylines

Bad Bunny and Kid Rock: A Tale of Two Masculinities

As Bad Bunny electrified the Super Bowl LX audience on Sunday night, falling through roofs in his cream white suit and salsa dancing with Lady Gaga, Turning Point USA (TPUSA) hosted its own competing halftime show, where Kid Rock and a lineup of country artists rallied for “faith, family, and freedom…

Read more

7 months ago · 29 likes · 3 comments · Charlie Sabgir and Young Men Research Initiative

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing relevant news & articles, my own reflections, and by listing men’s circles and events. New to men’s circles? Read this and this.

today’s intro is a guest post from Livio Marcheschi:

Discipline has always been a key part of my character.
I engage in activities that I consider healthy.
And have a positive impact on myself.

Like yoga, morning walks and breathworks.
Like cold showers, meditation and journaling.

It all starts with excitement.

My presence increases.
My well being improves.
I feel lighter and healthier.

But this feeling does not last long.

A few weeks in, the relief easily turns into a weight.
The habit becomes a new duty I have to comply with.
And the pleasure is lost.

I pile up new “healthy” habits.
To the point they become too many.
A new task I have to manage.

And I am not alone in this.
While some people struggle with discipline, others tend to get lost in their routines.
Which then become another escape route.

So, today I want to remind myself to “Keep things special”.
To rediscover the beauty in the activity I carry out.
By being present. By focusing on its physicality. By being totally in the moment.

So, today I want to remind myself to “Keep things special”.
To discontinue what is not serving me anymore.
So that habits can make me feel lighter, rather than drag me down.

I wish you could keep things special too.
Being a chat with a dear relative or with your partner.
A morning walk or a session at the gym.

And simply discontinue what is not serving you anymore.

🗓️ Events

• Tuesday 3rd March 🇩🇪: Men’s friendships meetup hosted by Georg (Abenteuer Freundschaft, in German)

• Thursday 5th March: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• March 6-8th 🇩🇪: Personal development workshop weekend for men with Jon Aigner (Mannsvolk, in German)

• Tuesday 10th March:

  • Online men’s circle hosted by Jordan (The Unmasked)

  • 🇩🇪 Men’s circle in Moabit on the topic of ‘emotions & values’ hosted by Matthias (in German)

  • B O N U S 🎁 (all genders): Eye Contact Experience hosted by Joe (Urban Joy); challenge yourself and make connections to others by having eye contact for several minutes

• B O N U S 🎁 (all genders) 14th March: Deep Talks – An evening of deep conversation on the topic of ‘Inner Power & Self-Trust’ organised by Julia

• Thursday 19th March:

  • What About Men? Online discussion group on the topic of ‘Men, Divorce and Kids’ hosted by Simon (PathForge)

  • Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

🗞️ Men’s Corner 📢

I personally have dabbled in workaholism and maybe I actually still am a workaholic. It’s not an exclusively male problem, of course. But I do think that many men are attracted by a ‘do more, live faster’ lifestyle because it allows us to fulfil several expectations that society seemingly has given us: to perform, to make money, to not dabble in feelings and emotions, among other things. Today’s article features Livio (the same man who wrote the intro) and his own experiences with this topic:

Think twice, it's all right

Being a workaholic is easy

Over the course of my working life, I have pushed myself way beyond my limits…

Read more

4 years ago · 15 likes · 14 comments · Livio Marcheschi

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing relevant news & articles, my own reflections, and by listing men’s circles and events. New to men’s circles? Read this and this.

I used to suffer from a bad case of FOMO.

Basically since become a teenager, each time when I stayed at home on a weekend night I was battling with a major insecurity: That I was a ‘boring’ person. Cool people, I thought, go out as much as they can and have stories to tell about the interesting things they do on the weekend. What was wrong with me that I didn’t want to go out that much and actually liked staying in?

One turning point in this battle with myself was getting a partner. Now that I have a partner to come home to, I feel less pressure to go out. I know that my social needs will also be covered when I stay home. And somehow the FOMO is gone, since I’m no longer alone, even if I stay in.

A few weeks ago, I gave myself the ultimate permission: I stayed at home on a Saturday, even though I had a concert ticket for that night. I had really wanted to see that artist and I was ready with my ticket, even though I didn’t find anyone to go with me. But a couple of days before I started having the flu. When the evening of the concert came closer, I was on the fence about going. On one hand, I had already spent the money for the ticket and it would be sort of ‘lame’ to stay at home. On the other hand, my energy still wasn’t back to 100% and I really felt that another evening of rest would do me well. And the concert venue was half-way across town. So I made the tough decision to stay in. And guess what: the next morning I woke up without regrets.

🗓️ Events

• Wednesday 18th February: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Thursday 19th February:

  • Social gathering at a pub in Friedrichshain hosted by Kostas (Berlin Men’s Group)

  • ‘What About Men?’ Online discussion group on the topic of ‘Gender differences - what's real?‘ hosted by Simon (PathForge)

• Tuesday 24th February:

  • Men’s Circle in Treptow hosted by Fred (Men’s Embodiment Group)

  • Online men’s circle hosted by Jordan (The Unmasked)

• Thursday 26th February: Breathwork session for men by Hot Boys Cry

• Friday 27th February (all genders): Workshop on 'toxic masculinity’ – a collaboration between Detox Masculinity and Hot Boys Cry

• B O N U S 🎁 (all genders) Sunday 1st March: Like Butter – A new type of dating event in Neukölln where everyone applies with another single friend (male, female, or nonbinary) in a “duo”; playful ice breakers, interactive stations, and plenty of free mingling time

• Thursday 5th March: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

🗞️ Men’s Corner 📢

As bit of a counter point to my intro where I spoke about staying in: Do you usually eat alone? When was the last time you ate together with others? And when was the last time you took the initiative to invite old or new friends to a shared dinner? I like Monika Jiang’s call for more shared dinners. If you want to make 2026 a social one, have a go at hosting a dinner!

The Oneliness Project

We Need to Eat Together Again

Growing up in my Chinese household, food was—and still is—everything. It’s how we care, for example, by loading up another person’s plate, without asking. It’s how we connect to recipes of the past, known and new flavors, that nourish from the inside out. It’s how we check in: the familiar phrase 你吃了吗？…

Read more

a year ago · 16 likes · Monika Jiang

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing relevant news & articles, my own reflections, and by listing men’s circles and events. New to men’s circles? Read this and this.

I don’t consider myself religious, but in the past year I went to church twice: Once on Easter and once on Christmas. I kind of did it as a favour to my mother and to my partner at first. But to my surprise I ended up kind of liking it.

What I didn’t expect: I experienced a community-feeling. Something that seems to be lacking in many parts of society where loneliness is on the rise.

I used to think of church as this thing of the past that for some reason still existed. That it might be better to abandon it altogether, and that it was invented in a time before technology when people couldn’t explain the world and needed something to believe in. And to be honest, I still largely think that way.

But now that I’m a bit older and maybe a bit more mature I realised that I can pick things to appreciate about church and I don’t need to fully like or dislike everything that it stands for. I’ve long appreciated the social efforts of the church, e.g. helping people in need. But I think the community aspect of church is something worth preserving as well. Nowadays it seems that a lot of people are looking for communities. There are a lot of paid communities for my generation which usually apply technology to fix a problem which was created by technology in the first place.

But maybe it’s worth preserving the oldest paid community (church taxes!) in the world as well? It gives people a place to congregate and stay connected to their local community. Going to mass is also a moment of being reminded of Christian values. It’s a moment to stop and reflect and maybe consider little course corrections in life. In terms of transmitting positive values, sending your kids to church might contribute to raising good humans.

I now wonder what would happen if more young men between ages 20-30 kept going to church? Maybe the world would be a different place? Would this reduce violence, misogyny, and unnecessary competition? And what if the church offered support groups for men to talk about issues of masculinity and growing up as a man, free from religious dogma? Just raising some curious questions here… I don’t know myself and it would probably require the church to change quite a bit.

🗓️ Events

• today, Sunday 1st February: Online men’s circle hosted by Peter (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Tuesday 3rd February: Workshop with Jack Becher (Beyond Patriarchy, Berlin Men’s Group). What if some of the struggles men experience don’t come from personal failure, but from patterns we’ve learned? This session explores what some people refer to as patriarchy—one model for understanding the social patterns that shape our lives, relationships, and bodies. Through reflection, conversation, and shared experience, we’ll get curious about how these patterns show up for us, and what becomes possible when we explore them together.

• Thursday 5th February: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Wednesday 10th February:

  • Men’s circle in Treptow hosted by Fred (Men’s Embodiment Group)

  • Online men’s circle hosted by Jordan (The Unmasked)

• Wednesday 18th February: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David & Charlie (Brothers of the Heart)

• Thursday 19th February:

  • Social gathering at a pub in Friedrichshain hosted by Kostas (Berlin Men’s Group)

  • ‘What About Men?’ Online discussion group on hosted by Simon (PathForge)

🗞️ Men’s Corner 📢

I’ve been following Scott Galloway for a few years. He used to write about big tech in a smart way. Then I discovered his podcast where he talks about business and investing. His edgy way of speaking and his confident deep voice have attracted a large following among young men. I can say that in a way he is one of my role models. He’s not just confident, but he also speaks in a vulnerable way, shares openly his mistakes in life and overall tries to transmit positive values to his listeners.

Over the past years he started speaking more and more about the topic of masculinity and men’s mental health. Up to the point that he recently appeared on The Oprah Podcast. I’m really glad to see someone speak about this topic on a podcast with such a huge audience—and not dwelling on negativity, but giving solutions and hope. Scott seems to be developing into a figure similar to Richard Reeves, driving the conversation around men’s wellbeing and mental health forward. I haven’t read his new book yet, but I greatly enjoyed listening to this:

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing relevant news & articles, my own reflections, and by listing men’s circles and events. New to men’s circles? Read this and this.

In the last newsletter I recommended taking part in the 24-hour ‘virtual’ digital detox organised by The Offline Club. I couldn’t participate myself, because I had to attend university that weekend. But the week before I sort of did my own version of it. I did an overnight trip to the countryside and didn’t connect to the internet for 24 hours.

I think different people react differently to a digital detox. My partner is online basically all the time and it doesn’t seem to affect her much. Myself, I like to disconnect once in a while to stay sane. “Me time” you could call it. But I’m also noticing that the practice has diminishing returns…

In the past I used to feel a lot more anxiety about being online and the thought of unanswered messages lingering in my inbox. To manage my stress levels, I deliberately spent full weekends without internet, preferably while I was travelling visiting friends to have something to distract me. Taking these timeouts without social media or email really made a difference for me. I drove this to the max when I walked the Camino de Santiago, a hiking trail/pilgrimage in Spain, for a full month without using the internet.

But I notice that nowadays, being offline vs. being online doesn’t make such a big difference anymore. Yes, it’s still nice to disconnect. But I don’t get stressed a lot by unanswered messages anymore, so the need for it isn’t as strong. Maybe I’ve learned to better cope with stress and anxiety, I don’t know. Maybe taking more offline time was the right way to ‘learn’ about how social media works, considering I was growing up right at the time when it became a thing. Nobody knew how it worked back then, so it might have been good to pause here and there to make sure that I’m still okay.

In any case, I would still recommend some offline time to everyone once in a while. It’s a good practice to focus on yourself without distraction.

🗓️ Events

• Sunday 18th January: Online men’s circle hosted by Peter (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Wednesday 21st January:

  • Online men’s circle hosted by Jordan (The Unmasked)

  • Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by David (Brothers of the Heart)

• Thursday 22nd January: Social gathering at a pub in Friedrichshain hosted by Kostas (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Tuesday 27th January:

  • Men’s circle in Treptow hosted by Fred (Men’s Embodiment Group)

  • Wolf Huddle in Friedrichshain hosted by Hans & KH (Zigmal, Berlin Men’s Group); a format for men to promote self-care, connection & resilience throughout the winter

• B O N U S 🎁 (all genders) Thursday 29th January: F*ck the Small Talk – if you’re craving deep talk and want to meet new people, this might be for you (Epic Llama)

• Tuesday 3rd February: Workshop with Jack Becher where you’ll reflect on how personal struggles and habits relate to patriarchal patterns in society (Beyond Patriarchy, Berlin Men’s Group)

• Wednesday 4th February: Online men’s circle hosted by Jordan (The Unmasked)

🎬 Movie Recommendation 🎥

Did you know that there is a movie genre called rape revenge and that it’s popular mostly among male viewers? I had no idea. I learned about this after watching the movie Promising Young Woman. It tells the story of a woman whose life dramatically changed after her friend was raped at university. The protagonist cannot live a normal life anymore and her life fully revolves around dealing with her trauma. The movie is quirky, weird, uncomfortable, yet has comedic undertones. It doesn’t shine a positive light on men. But it tells an important story and deals with an aspect of major injustice in our society. It definitely left a mark on me.

Be quick: The movie is available on German Netflix only until 1st February!

If you want to nerd out about the movie afterwards and understand its broader cultural context, read this essay.

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing relevant news & articles, my own reflections, and by listing men’s circles and events. New to men’s circles? Read this and this.

in my last newsletter I wrote a about my investments and how I’m trying to resist panicking whenever the stock market dips. Afterwards I had a conversation with a reader of this newsletter. He told me he has been interested in starting to invest for a while, but he never started because of his concerns that investments might not be ethical. I can understand this worry very well, because unless it’s a small company you invest in where you can know most of the team, chances are high that somewhere in the company things are done that you don’t fully agree with on an ethical level. If you invest in an ETF, that chance is multiplied by the amount of companies included in it (an ETF is a fund that invests in a basket of stocks).

When I decided what I wanted to do with my savings, the question of ethics definitely came up. But after looking into this a little bit, I decided for myself that it’s a game of picking the least bad option. If I leave the money in my bank account to accumulate a small amount of interest, my bank might invest the money into who-knows-what. There is also the trend of ‘sustainable’ investments: You can invest into a fund which checks that each individual investment meets certain criteria. But in the end it’s just ticking a few boxes: By excluding certain industries, such as tobacco, the fund claims that the investment is ‘sustainable’. But what if I don’t agree with the criteria? To me this is a very imperfect solution. My philosophy is to away from companies that I disagree with on a fundamental level, e.g. I would never invest in a company that earns money by producing or processing meat. But that’s it.

Instead of avoiding ‘bad’ investments, there is also the other end of the spectrum: Investing into something that actively improves the world. Since I like to explore the world by flying to different countries, a few years ago I investigated how I can compensate my carbon footprint. I decided to invest in The Generation Forest. It’s a cooperative which plants trees in Panama. Differently from other reforestation and carbon-reduction initiatives, they buy their own property and work with local communities to plant forests that will survive long-term by mixing different kinds of trees. You can invest by buying shares instead of just paying a fee to plant some trees and then forget about it. After a few years some trees are cut and sold for wood which generates a small return on investment. That’s a nice side-effect of the main cause which is to combat climate change and bind CO2.

I started investing into trees via The Generation Forest in 2022 and I’m still increasing my shares because I think it’s the right way to reforestation. Also recent times have been very bad for the world’s forests: Countless fires increased the rate of deforestation rather than slowing it down. After the conversation with my friend, I realised that I should probably have recommended him this option. If you’re interested in signing up, please use my recommendation link. ;)

🗓️ Events

We are starting the year with a small amount of events since some facilitators are still on their winter break:

• Friday 9th January: The New Man Men’s Circle at Heilehaus e.V. in Kreuzberg; this is a taster session for a closed men’s circle in German 🇩🇪 which will meet 10 times this year; if you’re ready to commit to going a bit deeper by being part of a closed circle, please sign up via Telegram DM to Nick

• B O N U S 🎁: Saturday 10th January: If you want to make it a habit this year to stay away from your phone for longer, tune into the virtual 24-hour digital detox challenge by The Offline Club

• Tuesday 13th January: Men’s circle in Treptow hosted by Fred (Men’s Embodiment Group)

• Thursday 15th January: Online discussion group on hosted by Simon (Berlin Men’s Group/PathForge)

• Sunday 18th January: Online men’s circle hosted by Peter (Berlin Men’s Group)

🗞️ News for Men 📢

In summer 2025, Nike has entered Substack as one of the biggest brands with a new blog format called ‘In The Margins’. They didn’t to a big bang launch. Instead it was a quiet, under-the-radar one, which is also why I only found out about it a few days ago. Nike’s entrance speaks to the relevance of Substack and we’ll probably see more large companies entering the platform…

Anyways, why I’m mentioning it here is because masculinity and men’s concerns, viewed through the lens of sport, seem to be a topic of this blog. The topic of the first post was the relationship of an athlete to his father, and their shared passion for tennis. The second one is about rage quitting in sports which is portrayed as a particularly male type of behaviour, which a man is supposed to leave behind if he wants to grow up (my own interpretation).

This is huge! We are seeing one of the biggest and most successful fashion brands sharing stories about manhood. Read on below:

In The Margins

Tennis in the Dome

I didn’t know my dad played tennis with his dad. That that was how he started playing. My dad never got on well with his dad; as the eldest of four, he took the brunt of his dad’s moods. My grandpa, a US Air Force Colonel, was a tough, cutting man. My dad had already been living in Japan four years when my grandpa passed, at age 87, in 2017…

Read more

a year ago · 26 likes · In The Margins and Sean Thor Conroe

In The Margins

Breaking7

Rage quitting is this repugnant thing in gaming where you crash out on whoever you are playing in an act of total self-sabotage. In the ‘80s, rage quitting manifested through abruptly switching off the power on the console or tossing a controller at a sibling’s head. Rage quitting set a behavioral standard wherein it was always better to escape challeng…

Read more

a year ago · 23 likes · In The Margins

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing relevant news & articles, my own reflections, and by listing men’s circles and events. New to men’s circles? Read this and this.

PS: I did a slight rebranding of the newsletter. Instead of seeing it as a newsletter just to list events, going forward it will be more a newsletter for men in Berlin that lists men’s circles and events, among other things. The last section is now called ‘News for Men’ instead of ‘Article of the Week’. I will use this section a bit more flexibly: Mentioning news that are relevant for men and men’s concerns, recommending articles, sometimes even recommending new products.

And a disclaimer, just to be safe: This newsletter reflects my personal opinions and experiences only and does not constitute investment advice, financial advice, or a recommendation to buy a specific financial product. Please conduct your own research or consult a licensed financial advisor before making investment decisions. If you sign up via my referral link, I may receive a benefit at no additional cost to you.

a lot of my mental energy in the past weeks has gone into my money. A large share of my savings are invested into the stock market which took a dip most recently.

My investments have gone down by around 10-15% this month. This is not great to witness! I’ve worked hard for my money and it makes me uncomfortable to see it go down like that. And I can’t really do anything about it, except sell the investments, which is generally not advisable.

It takes some practice not to break out into a cold sweat when my investments drop. I’ve had a few rounds of practice by now, the last episode having been in April this year, and I think I’m getting better. I manage to remain a bit calmer every time.

In Germany, people usually don’t talk about money openly. On select occasions I do have conversations with friends about what they do with their savings. But I always find it hard to start the conversation. And if I don’t have an understanding of how someone invests their money, I don’t know if they will understand that I’m panicking because the stock market is crashing.

So more often than not I don’t mention that I’m worried about my money when I meet a friend, even if it’s very top of mind for me. It also seems very materialistic to talk about it, doesn’t it? And isn’t it a luxury problem to have so much money that I can invest it, anyways? Surely, there must be more important things to talk about.

I don’t even talk to my partner about this. “She doesn’t invest her money, so she wouldn’t understand” is what I tell myself.

So I encourage you all to do it better than me and talk to your support circle about money. Open up if your finances are stressing you, even if it it’s hard. 💜

🗓️ Events

• today, Sunday 30th November: Online men’s circle hosted by Zack (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Monday 1st December: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by Jordan (The Unmasked)

• Tuesday 2nd December: Men’s circle in Treptow on the topic of ‘deepening presence’ hosted by Fred (Men’s Embodiment Group)

• Thursday 4th December: Social gathering at a pub in Friedrichshain hosted by Kostas (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Monday 8th December: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by Jordan (The Unmasked)

• Tuesday 16th December:

  • Men’s circle in Treptow on the topic of the father wound, hosted by Fred (Men’s Embodiment Group)

  • Wolf Huddle in Friedrichshain hosted by Hans & KH (Zigmal, Berlin Men’s Group); a format for men to promote self-care, connection & resilience throughout the winter

• Thursday 18th December:

  • Community gathering in Kreuzberg hosted by ​Charlie & David (Brothers of the Heart)

  • Online discussion group on the topic of ‘Are Schools Made for Boys?’ hosted by Simon (Berlin Men’s Group/PathForge)

• Sunday 21st December: Online men’s circle hosted by Peter (Berlin Men’s Group)

• Tuesday 30th December: Men’s circle in Treptow hosted by Fred (Men’s Embodiment Group)

🏞️ Image of the Week

In the last newsletter I asked you to send your tips on how to adapt and survive the darker months. I didn’t get enough answers to make a summary worthwhile.

Instead, I will leave you with an image. Whenever it gets too dark these days and I think life in Berlin is too depressing, I imagine being here. I invite you to do the same and find your own ‘happy place’ like that which can serve as an anchor when your actual surroundings might not be as pleasant.

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing my own reflections and by listing men’s circles and other events that allow sharing and getting in touch with yourself. If you’re interested in men’s circles but are still unsure about attending one, read this and this.

PS: This will be the last newsletter of the year as events and men’s circles are becoming less and less, getting closer to the end of the year. Time to take a little breather. See you afresh at the start of the next year!

When I stop like this and tune into my body I’m super tired. I’m aware that my body feels tired and becomes heavy.

Yet it’s not in pain. That’s a good thing.

It’s just like weights pulling at my body, telling me to sleep, telling me to rest.

I’m tired because I worked hard, yet presumably also because the winter has started. It’s dark and cold.

My body and my mind know that a new season has started.

What should be my goals for the coming month? Simply to rest or something more ambitious?

Dear men,

what you read above were the words I wrote during the last monthly intention setting facilitated by Hans from the Berlin Men’s Group (hint: the next one is on 20th November).

I’m curious: What are your strategies to ease the transition to the dark months and to get through the winter?

I’d be happy if you took a minute to tell me in this Google Form.

In the next newsletter I’ll share a summary of everyone’s strategies so that we can learn from each other.

🗓️ Events

• Tuesday 18th November:

  • Men’s circle in Treptow hosted by Fred (Men’s Embodiment Group)

  • Men’s circle in Kreuzberg on the topic of ‘dating as a conscious man’ hosted by Jules (Berlin Mens Circle)

• Wednesday 19th November: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by Jordan (The Unmasked)

• Thursday 20th November: Online intention setting hosted by Hans (Berlin Men’s Group); a session to pause, notice what you need right now, and set intentions for the month ahead

• Wednesday 26th November: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by Jordan (The Unmasked)

• Tuesday 25th November:

  • Wolf Huddle in Friedrichshain hosted by Hans & KH (Zigmal, Berlin Men’s Group); a format for men to promote self-care, connection & resilience throughout the winter

  • Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by ​Charlie & David (Brothers of the Heart)

  • Online men’s circle on the topic of the changing nature of men hosted by Token Man Brave Space

• Sunday 30th November: Online men’s circle hosted by Zack (Berlin Men’s Group)

📖 Article of the Week

In this honest and personal article George shares his experience with hair loss and the shame and insecurity he felt about it for years. A great read about this almost exclusively male experience.

JACK

"I'm losing my hair"

I first realised/accepted that I was losing my hair in my early 20s…

Read more

a year ago · 4 likes · 1 comment · George Bell

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing my own reflections and by listing men’s circles and other events that allow sharing and getting in touch with yourself. If you’re interested in men’s circles but are still unsure about attending one, read this and this.

I think a lot about my friendships. I want to be someone who has a great social life. Therefore, I regularly put energy into reaching out to friends and organising social gatherings. But from time to time I get discouraged. Sometimes people just don’t have time and social gatherings don’t seem to happen. It takes the wind out of my sails if I hear ‘no’ too many times in a row.

Recently, I’ve been hitting a dry spell like that. I decided to try not to get too worked up about it and to go with the flow. I wanted to reduce my level of frustration, so I decided to reach out less often to friends for a while and instead wait for others to reach out to me.

I’m not going to lie, the first few weeks I felt frustrated: I felt like I didn’t have friends and that I was working too much to fill the gap. But during the last couple of weeks suddenly things changed again and more and more friends started reaching out to me. My social life has taken up again.

The lesson in this for me was that it’s normal that social life comes in waves. Getting upset about not getting what I want is mostly a waste of energy. Instead, accepting the status quo, being in ‘waiting mode’ and filling my time with other things can help. Maybe I can get my taxes done now so that later I have more time to hang with friends…

So with this I want to give you permission to take social life at your own pace. Don’t become too discouraged when it’s slowing down more than you’d like from time to time. Life happens to you and it does to other people, so it’s only natural that there will be times where you’ll see your friends more often than others.

🗓️ Events

• Tuesday 4th November:

  • Men’s circle in Treptow on the topic of commitment & purpose hosted by Fred (Men’s Embodiment Group)

  • Men’s circle in Kreuzberg on the topic of ‘living in integrity’ hosted by Jules (Berlin Mens Circle)

  • Men’s circle & sauna in Mitte organised by Joe (Urban Joy Berlin)

• Wednesday 5th November: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by Jordan (The Unmasked)

• Thursday 6th November:

  • Men’s circle in Charlottenburg hosted by Devan (ManKind Project)

  • Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by ​Charlie & David (Brothers of the Heart)

  • ‘Beyond Self-Reliance’ – A special shared table dinner for men in Pankow with discussions on the topic of friendship and connection

• Sunday 9th November:

  • Online sharing circle hosted by Peter (Berlin Men’s Group)

  • “Creative Sunday” Improv and public speaking workshop in Friedrichshain hosted by For Everyone; this is not an event exclusively for men but might be great for those who want to drop into their playful states and work on showing up as their authentic selves

• Wednesday 12th November: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by Jordan (The Unmasked)

• Thursday 13th November: What about men? online discussion group on the topic of male role models hosted by Simon (Berlin Men’s Group/PathForge)

• Tuesday 18th November:

  • Men’s circle in Treptow hosted by Fred (Men’s Embodiment Group)

  • Men’s circle in Kreuzberg on the topic of ‘dating as a conscious man’ hosted by Jules (Berlin Mens Circle)

• Wednesday 19th November: Men’s circle in Kreuzberg hosted by Jordan (The Unmasked)

📖 Article of the Week

A few editions ago, I asked you how much porn you consume and how you feel about it. The bigger half of readers answered that they did watch porn but were not worried about it, while the other half said that they were at least a little concerned about their consumption. Interestingly, none of the respondents said that they didn’t watch porn.

The following article looks at porn usage of young men in more detail. It doesn’t have data about how those young men feel about their porn usage, but it has a lot more data points and also segments results by political opinion and other demographic factors:

➡️ Young Men Have a Complicated Relationship With Porn

My mission with this newsletter is to inspire men to find a way of being themselves that feels authentic. I do this by sharing my own reflections and by listing events in Berlin that allow sharing and getting in touch with yourself. If you know anyone who could benefit from this, please forward the newsletter.