One of the central ideas underlaying COSMICOLOGY^® is what I call your Soul Syllabus.

The idea that before we arrive here, there is already a curriculum of sorts.

Not a rigid script where every tiny event has been predetermined. But a collection of experiences, relationships, themes, challenges and opportunities through which our soul intends to learn.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about what happens when you take this idea one step further.

Because we tend to imagine the concept of reincarnation in an incredibly human way.

Life A → Life B → Life C → this life.

We talk about “past lives”.

We wonder who we were.

We imagine a soul leaving one body, waiting somewhere for a while, then eventually coming back in another one at some point later in human history.

But what if that only makes sense because we’re trying to understand something outside of time from inside a dimension where time appears linear?

What if there are no past lives?

Or at least, not in the way we think there are.

I recently watched an episode of Mystery Teachers on Gaia with Sarah O’Cauldy about the concept of the Oversoul.

The idea isn’t that you are one soul travelling sequentially through hundreds of different bodies.

Instead, imagine a much larger consciousness - the Oversoul. And from that consciousness extend many threads. Each thread dips into physical reality and becomes a human life.

• You are one of those threads.

• Another might be experiencing life in what we perceive as 1750.

• Another in 3020.

• Another might be alive right now.

From where we’re standing, those lives appear to be separated by hundreds or thousands of years.

But that’s because we’re looking at them from inside linear time.

From another dimension, perhaps they aren’t happening before or after one another at all.

Perhaps they’re happening simultaneously.

You aren’t separate from the Oversoul

I find the fractal analogy particularly helpful here. A fractal is a smaller expression of a larger pattern.

So you aren’t a tiny, disconnected piece of your Oversoul sent down to Earth.

You are an expression of it. A human-sized point of consciousness through which something much larger can experience physical reality.

And ultimately, the Oversoul itself could be understood as a fractal of something larger again.

• Source.

• God.

• Infinite intelligence.

• The Universe.

Whatever language works for you.

So rather than seeing ourselves as billions of completely separate consciousnesses wandering around Earth, we could imagine consciousness continually expressing itself through different forms.

Infinite intelligence experiencing itself through finite lives.

Which raises a fascinating possibility:

Could you meet another version of yourself?

If an Oversoul can project multiple expressions into physical reality simultaneously, theoretically two of those expressions could incarnate during the same historical period.

Meaning you could meet another human who comes from the same Oversoul.

Not a soulmate, or a romantic relationship, or even necessarily someone who stays in your life.

But someone who feels strangely, inexplicably familiar.

That feeling of:

I know you.

Even though you don’t.

Perhaps there is immediate recognition because, at another level of consciousness, you aren’t entirely meeting a stranger.

You’re encountering another expression of the same larger intelligence.

Almost like two branches discovering they belong to the same tree.

I don’t think this would necessarily be common.

In fact, if the purpose of incarnation is experience, contrast and development, it would make sense that most of our significant relationships happen between expressions of different Oversouls.

Because difference creates experience.

You encounter another consciousness with its own perspective, curriculum and collection of experiences.

Something happens between you.

• Love.

• Conflict.

• Abandonment.

• Friendship.

• Competition.

• Motherhood.

• Grief.

• Creation.

• Loss.

And through encountering one another, both Oversouls gather something they couldn’t have experienced alone.

Each life is collecting something

This is where it connects so deeply with my concept of the Soul Syllabus.

Imagine an Oversoul with hundreds or thousands of threads extending into human experience.

• One explores power.

• Another explores motherhood.

• Another experiences poverty.

• Another enormous wealth.

• One experiences illness.

• Another extraordinary physical health.

• One experiences being deeply loved.

• Another experiences rejection.

• One becomes visible.

• Another remains unseen.

None of these lives necessarily represents the entirety of what the Oversoul is.

They’re experiences.

Information.

Perspective.

Each human life gathers something and returns it to the whole.

And perhaps that is why our lives contain such specific recurring themes.

Your Soul Syllabus isn’t a punishment.

It isn’t evidence that you’re doing life incorrectly.

And it isn’t necessarily something you need to “fix”.

It may simply be the particular terrain your thread came here to explore.

Which brings us to forgetting

Of course, there’s an obvious problem with all of this.

If we really are expressions of a much larger consciousness, why can’t we remember it?

Why don’t I remember all the other lives?

Why don’t I arrive knowing exactly what I’m here to experience?

Perhaps forgetting is part of the mechanism.

Because imagine trying to completely experience being YOU while simultaneously remembering hundreds+ of other expressions of yourself.

The limitation may be precisely what makes the experience possible.

To experience this particular life fully, consciousness narrows.

For a while, I need to believe that this is me.

This body.

This personality.

This family.

This history.

This particular collection of desires, fears, wounds and gifts.

The amnesia allows immersion.

And perhaps awakening isn’t about escaping the human experience.

It’s about beginning to remember that the human experience isn’t all that you are.

From Character to Avatar

The original spiritual meaning of the word avatar is far older than video games or digital profiles.

In Eastern traditions, an avatar referred to divinity taking physical form.

Something infinite becoming temporarily finite.

I love that way of thinking about being human. Because it doesn’t diminish this life. It makes it more meaningful.

You’re not here waiting to transcend your messy humanity so you can become spiritual enough to leave it behind.

The ‘mess’ is the experience.

• The relationships.

• The body.

• The heartbreak.

• The strange obsessions.

• The repeated patterns.

• The things you can’t explain.

• The moments that completely change the trajectory of your life.

The question becomes less:

“How do I make my life go the way I think it should?”

And more:

“What is this particular experience here to show me?”

That’s the heart of COSMICOLOGY^®

Recognising the curriculum of your life

Astrology, Human Design, numerology and psychology aren’t interesting to me because I think they should dictate what happens next.

They’re interesting because they give us different ways of looking at the pattern.

They allow us to zoom out.

To stop staring at one isolated event and start noticing the repeating themes running through the whole story.

Because from inside the human experience, something can look unfair, random or completely meaningless.

But perhaps we’re looking at one tiny section of a much larger tapestry.

One thread can’t see the entire design.

The Oversoul can.

And maybe the purpose isn’t to spend our lives desperately trying to escape the curriculum.

Maybe it’s to recognise what we’re actually here to learn from it.

The simplest way to start is simply to be curious, and imagine your life from a different perspective - imagine everything you are experiencing is contributing to this greater intelligence.

Does this resonate with you? Have you thought about ‘past lives’ in this way before?

And it got me thinking - I don’t completely agree that burnout is simply a crisis of meaning.

You can absolutely burn yourself out doing something you love.

You can care deeply about your work and still be doing too much of it.

You can be doing the right work in completely the wrong way for you.

But I do think we’ve become very quick to assume exhaustion means we need to do less.

• More boundaries

• More rest

• More self-care

• A better morning routine

• A better ‘work-life balance’ (as if that exists!)

Sometimes, yes, but sometimes the problem isn’t the amount of energy you’re using.

It’s where your energy is going.

I’ve experienced this myself.

There have been periods of my life where I’ve been doing all the “right” things and still felt completely drained by my work.

And other periods where I’ve spent hours absorbed in something I’m fascinated by and somehow come out of it with more energy than I started with.

Same person. Same nervous system. Same 24 hours in a day.

Different work.

Which makes me think we need to ask a different question-

Am I truly working from my zone of Genius or am I satisfied with doing something ok-ish? Am I OK with mediocrity?

Your true Zone of Genius generally isn’t always:

• what sounds sensible

• what you trained to do 15 years ago

• what you’ve become good at because everyone kept praising you for it

• what looks impressive on LinkedIn

• what your industry has decided you should care about.

But instead consider:

• What genuinely captures your attention?

• What can you talk about for hours?

• What are you constantly reading about, noticing, questioning or trying to understand?

• What problems do you actually care about solving?

• What keeps finding its way back into your life, even when you’ve tried to move on from it?

And this is one of the reasons I find our charts so useful.

Not because I think your birth chart can specify a job title and a prescribed way of working,

That’s not how I see it.

I use Astrology, Human Design Gene Keys and Numerology to look for patterns - combined with psychology, and years of research.

I haven’t worked with someone yet who has declared the insights I’ve shared from their charts don’t deeply resonate. Essentially your charts are a tool to use like a mirror to remind you who you truly are, at the deepest level.

They can also be applied practically to understand more deeply:

• The things you’re naturally drawn towards

• The environments that bring out the best in you

• How your energy wants to move

• What you’re here to express, explore, communicate, create or change

• The themes that keep repeating through seemingly unrelated chapters of your life

Your chart doesn’t decide what you ‘should’ care about

It can help you recognise what you already do.

And I think that’s an important distinction.

Because so many of us have spent years learning to override those signals.

We’ve learnt to value what we’re good at over what makes us feel alive.

We’ve built careers around what was practical, respectable or profitable.

We’ve mistaken competence for calling.

Then somewhere around our 40s, we wonder why the life that looks perfectly fine from the outside doesn’t quite feel like ours anymore.

You likely don’t need to blow your whole life up or find one grand, singular “purpose”.

My guess is you need to start paying much closer attention to what gives you energy - and what quietly takes it away.

Because the work you were born to do isn’t hiding somewhere out there waiting to be found.

The clues have been there your whole life - you just haven’t been taught to recognise them.

My Own Experience:

When I look back at my own 20+ year career in marketing, the pattern is obvious. I’ve had jobs where I was paid well to barely do anything - and I hated it. I’ve had jobs where I worked incredibly hard but loved what we were trying to achieve, like connecting classrooms around the world at Skype. I’ve loved figuring out why something wasn’t working, running experiments and seeing the results. I’ve loved the creative side of marketing, storytelling, working alongside interesting people and building something that had a point.

And I’ve burnt myself out running my own business, despite technically doing something I “loved”, because I’d built it around how I thought a successful business was supposed to work rather than how I actually wanted to work. (Marketing Fatigue is a thing).

Going through a serious cancer diagnosis in 2022 gave me crystal clear clarity about something I’d been learning my entire career - my time and energy are too precious to spend on work that means nothing to me.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my working life being productive for the sake of being productive. I want to be absorbed. Curious. Creative. Useful. I want to work on things I genuinely care about, with people I care about, in ways that actually feel like me.

Maybe the question isn’t how much work you can handle.

Maybe it’s how much of your life you’re willing to give to work that doesn’t mean enough to you.

If you’re curious about this approach to finding your personal answer to the work that is deeply meaningful for you, check out my summer school: The Work You Were Born To Do

I wanted to share a bit more about my non-linear journey that led me to where I’m at now… hopefully if you are a non-linear being like me this could give some insights to embrace the ‘messiness’ and trust that it’s all working out…

------

It’s been 7 years that I’ve been running my own business… the first iteration in 2018 was called “Mumming” - a very literal interpretation of the idea of bringing freelance working mums with babies together. I used to go to lots of local events to promote it as a co-working community with a crèche facility for mums who worked at home. I also travelled to Florida to take Tony Robbin’s Business Mastery Course… I learnt a lot, but also I realised that just because he was ‘an expert’ didn’t mean I had to do it like he said…

Promoting Mumming in 2018 at a local event

When the pandemic hit in 2020 I had to shut everything down - just after I had rebranded to “Free Range Work Co” and launched memberships across 3 different sites and everything was really growing. I didn’t know right then that it would not be starting up again ‘later in the year’ as we initially thought might be the case. The grief of losing a business is real. Especially when the loss is dismissed as just another casualty of the pandemic and out of your control.

One of the many workshops for mums that I ran

But I did learn a hell of a lot from running that first business. I learnt that I really did not enjoy the logistics and admin side of running an in-person business like that. I could do it - sure, but it was the community, the connection, giving incredible women a flexible way of working that didn’t require committing to expensive childcare with certain hours every week that was essentially a second mortgage. But sometimes we take too much on ourselves - I was essentially trying to solve a much bigger problem than I could take on alone with all my other commitments.

At The Goddess House in Glastonbury after a deep treatment

What followed after losing that business from 2020 to 2022 was a deep-dive into developing my spiritual and mentoring gifts - trips to Glastonbury (above), training with spiritual coaches, receiving my coaching accreditation from the ICF and also from Caroline Britton in her intuitive coaching modality, and becoming a certified Numerologist with Harriette Jackson.

From a photoshoot I did in 2021 for my intuitive coaching business

Come summer 2021, and in growing my intuitive coaching practice, I realised I was still dealing with some old beliefs around ‘working hard’ to earn money and found myself over-giving to clients and feeling burnt out. I decided to hit ‘pause’ and regroup. The only thing that continued on was my membership, The Intuitive Business Academy which I really enjoyed running and am still in contact with and friends with many of the women who joined.

However by Spring 2022, I knew something wasn’t right physically - I was tired all the time and the PT sessions I was going to at the gym were completely draining me. When a connection shared on Instagram her bowel cancer diagnosis, I recognised some of the same symptoms. Even though I’d seen a doctor previously and been told I was fine, something felt off, so I trusted that instinct and bought an online FIT test (Faecal Immunochemical test). It came back abnormal and I self-referred myself to a specialist which ultimately led to my stage 3 bowel cancer diagnosis. The first thing I thought when I was diagnosed was “ah THAT’S what it is” - a confirmation of that feeling that I knew something wasn’t right.

Recovering right after surgey

The whole treatment for the cancer took only 5 months - a bowel resection surgery, fertility preservation, then 4 rounds of chemo via a surgically implanted port. It was a time of deep spiritual exploration for me whilst physically I felt awful and had zero energy- the most I could manage was a very short slow walk around the block. I have no idea how people go through chemo and keep going to the gym… but it affects us all differently and there are many different forms of chemo.

In the office at the coaching company I worked for

In March 2023, once I felt well enough, I decided to take on a part time Marketing role working for a coaching company in London - it built up my confidence again as I realised I could create campaigns that brought in large sums of money and new clients for the company. Turned out I was just finding it hard marketing my own work as marketing yourself is very different to marketing an established company with a team of coaches. You need to deal with every single limiting belief you have. Plus of course I was also learning to trust my body again physically at that point.

In 2023 as Head of Marketing

In October 2023, I took on a role as Head of Marketing for a Wellness Startup. In the year I was in that position, I again learned a lot and also realised I already knew a lot and needed to back myself more. When I was made redundant in October 2023, I knew it was the universe telling me it was time to get back to my real work. The work that I’m truly here to share…

In the last year since I left that role, I have been developing a brand new Methodology, as well as deepening my own practices and knowledge. I am training with the incredible Jennie Harrison to become a Frequency Embodiment Practitioner as well as continuing my ongoing Astrology and Human Design studies with incredible mentors.

I’ve reached a turning point where the clarity hit a few weeks back, and I’m going to be switching up my business in the coming weeks (not changing things completely, but refreshing and simplifying things and changing offerings and names).

I can’t wait to share more with you soon…

Lauren xx

It felt like it was time for a new header… and stepping into a new becoming of the true me…

I am done with trying to explain what I do to the wrong people - no more.

The people who I’m meant to work with will get it. I need to recognise when I’m in the wrong environments and leave.

What I offer is Soul Science through Soul Psychology and it’s powerful.

I have come through cancer, redundancy, and infertility stronger and more me than ever - and happier than ever because I’m finally OK with taking up space and asking for my needs to be met rather than always putting everyone else first (as I had the urge to write this it means I’m going to have to pick up my son 10 mins later than he wanted).

There are still pangs of guilt, but I recognise that my happiness IS my families happiness.

I have been sharing more about this over in The Lunar Bond - the experience I’m co-hosting this week with Jema diving into our Mother Archetypes. Whilst I have a ‘soft’ watery Pisces sun and Moon, I also have a lot fire from my Aries Venus and Mars and Sagittarius Jupiter. It feels like that fire is now being allowed out.🔥 🔥 🔥

🔥 It is about reclaiming who we truly are

🔥 About ripping off all the restraints and covers growing up in a patriarchy as a woman inevitably leads to

🔥 It’s about recognising that we have internalised this absolute bullshit

🔥 It’s about recognising we are f**king powerful women / humans

🔥 It’s about stepping into the roles we *know* we are here for

🔥 To lead a change in the way we parent, the way we work, the way we are in relationships, the way we are with ourselves.

If you feel the vibes here, more will be coming through in my new experience YOUR ENERGY CODE which starts this week (Telegram group and pre-work this week, then we kick off fully next week). £44 to join this week, goes up to £99 next week.

If you’ve ever been told you need to “be more consistent” and it just weighed heavily on you… this has your name written all over it. (And a serious deal at this price!)

That is all (for now) 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Soul Psychology Notes: 28th September 2025

This week’s vibe? A magnificent unravelling…

This past week has felt intense. The Solar Eclipse in Virgo last Sunday landed with me as a kind of creative rebirth. I’m finally stepping fully into my identity as an artist, giving myself permission to experiment with both digital and real-life projects. It feels like a huge exhale – as though the inner artist who’s been waiting for years is at last free to breathe.

The unravelling part came as a result of Timeline Therapy I had with the wonderful Vanessa - a very brief summary is that it involved journeying into past lifetimes (or aspects of my Oversoul) to release emotions still stored deep within my body. What initially felt like devastating experiences revealed themselves through an entirely different lens - and that shift changed everything. It felt like unravelling threads in my brain / body that were no longer needed.

This is how it works - recognising that we don’t arrive into this lifetime as a ‘blank slate’ but carry with us the energy and emotions from other lifetimes experiences.

What do you think - does this sound quite ‘out there’ to you? Since these sessions, I have felt a huge release and along with the trauma release work I did last year, day to day life feels very different.

What’s new from me?

I’ve got so much to share with you as a result of this creative rebirth so here goes…

THE RHYTHM RESET

I’m hosting an online day retreat with the wonderful Heather, Founder of The .Pause Network and Business Mentor. It’s called The Rhythm Reset as is on 22nd October. The early bird price of £55 is available for a couple more days! This is your chance to evolve your business and reclaim clarity, reconnect with your values, and realign with your unique energetic rhythm

NEW MEMBERSHIP! STARTS NEXT WEEK!

I’ve relaunched my membership with a new name and brand new format- it feels so good! Instead of a monthly format it now operates roughly in line with the Pagan wheel of the year with a new course every ~6-8 weeks, and ad-hoc Zoom Circles, plus ongoing Telegram support. The next course included is called “Your Energy Code” and starts next week. (You can also just join the Energy Code without becoming a member if you chose).

TELL ME MORE!

NEXT COHORT OF THE ORACLE WITHIN!

The next group of The Oracle Within starts on 5th November. Creating your own deck of printed Oracle cards is the most liberating experience! There is still time to join the taster workshop - we had part 1 last week and we have part 2 on Thursday - jump into the recording and join in!

TELL ME MORE

IN PERSON INTRO TO HUMAN DESIGN & 1:1 READINGS

If you are based locally, I am now offering monthly workshops at The Hare & The Moon in Twickenham. The next one is 17th October and is an introduction to Human Design. drop me a reply if you’d like details of all upcoming workshops. You can also book for an in-person reading.

HD WORKSHOP 17TH OCTOBER

“Creativity is the way I share my soul with the world.” – Brené Brown

Soul Psychology Notes: 18th July 2025:

This week’s vibe? Building deep self trust and the mind gremlins…

IT HAS BEEN A WEEEEEK!!

It's been one of those weeks where time has gone both fast and slow. I was back at the hospitals I had my surgery and chemo in to get the latest round of follow up scans. Whilst I don't feel anything is wrong, there is always that mind gremlin “but what if there is… you'll look like a right dick writing this if there is won't you?!"

I've learnt to distinguish the voice of my overly harsh inner critic, and actually now have also created an Oracle card dedicated to her (see below) - after all, she is only trying to keep me safe, though if she had her way all I'd do all day is write emails and watch Netflix on rotation. ‘Productive’ yet not really achieving anything.

My Q for you:

Is your inner Judge overly harsh like mine? Can you be kinder to yourself and stop putting so much pressure on yourself? Can you see that the pressure doesn't actually create the results you really want?

Want to create your own Oracle cards?! Check out upcoming taster workshop here. Tickets currently just £33

And… My Power of 3 Portal Event kicked off with… a wet blanket(!)

To mark the occasion that it's been 3 Years since my diagnosis and what a huge milestone it is, whilst also recognising I'm a rare Triple 3 in Numerology, I decided to set up a special ‘3’ portal with some one-off offerings.

I sent one email and put one post on Instagram about it, then life got in the way. I was called back into hospital for an extra scan (they are being extra vigilant), but the mind gremlins came back big time.

“What if I put this out there and make a song and dance about it and then the scans show something terrible?”

So I'm taking the risk and sharing anyway - and I'm sure no one is actually going to call me a dick for having the courage to believe I'm never going through cancer again(!)

Power of 3: How you can join in…

If you are picking up what I'm putting down, firstly I salute you because it feels a bit like an uncohesive brain dump, but also I trust that the right people will get it…

1. Book in for the Illumination Oracle card reading for just £33. Three cards plus one for good luck.

2. Check out my online pre-recorded classes at 33% off - now just £11 covering cycles, human design, Oracle cards, Energy Centres…

3. I will create three Oracle cards for you based on your charts plus a personal report as we work together over the course of a month- normally will be £777, now just £333

Or to see ALL the offers currently available visit:

https://www.lauren-jane.com/power-of-3

And I'm going to be adding some ‘secret’ extra ones in the coming days too. Plus check out the free 3-day experience below…

Me showing the ladies how cool Human Design is…

Free Experience 5-7th August!

Three soul shifts that changed everything.

What helped me shift my mindset and come out stronger after going through cancer…

🌱 Day 1 – Purpose isn’t something you find. It’s something you remember.

🌊 Day 2 – Self Intimacy - You can only meet others as deeply as you’ve met yourself.

🔥 Day 3 – Radical responsibility doesn’t mean blame — it means power.

Each day you’ll receive a short voice note, gentle prompts, and optional chart reflections (Human Design, Astrology + Numerology).

Over the 3 days we will create a visual 'map' which is like your unique key to personal growth.

No big commitment. No pressure to perform.

Just a softly-held space to meet yourself more honestly.

If you’re in a moment of change…

If you’re craving something deeper…

If you know it’s time to stop looking outside yourself — and turn inward…

This is for you.

Free: The Turning Point

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

Soul Psychology Notes: 10th July 2025:

This week’s vibe? Feeling the difference between destiny and karma

Karma is the path that expected for us based on where/when/who we were born as. Destiny is what we have the capacity for. The destiny number in Numerology is also known as the Mastery number. It's not what comes easily, but what we evolve into when we do the work. I reflected more on this in my latest Substack article about my experiences in the 7/7 London Bombing 20 years ago. Read the full article about that here

My Q for you:

Where in your life are you giving in to fate (what is ‘expected’ - your subconscious programming) vs. driving towards Destiny - who you truly want to be (it's a proactive thing)…

And… Another Big Anniversary is almost here…

We all know those classic hospital gowns…

Three years ago I was just having my initial appointment that would ultimately lead to a colonoscopy and my diagnosis of stage 3 bowel cancer a few weeks later on 28th July 2022.

To mark the date, I have created something special to share with you hopefully later today or tomorrow to recognise this amazing milestone and also to help raise awareness.

Keep an eye out for this symbol which represents the power of 3 intertwined…

Just a reminder- it's a lot right now!

If you have been feeling overwhelmed, tired, confused or just like everything is a lot, you are not alone.

There have been solar flares (intense space weather) as well as HUGE spikes in the Schumann Resonance (the natural vibration of the earth). We all feel this- this is real and measurable.

We have also seen the major shift of The Lunar Nodes changing, Neptune & Saturn entering Aries, Jupiter entering Cancer and Uranus entering Gemini - it is unprecedented to have so many major shifts all at once. This truly is showing us that 2025 is a huge year for change and deep transformation. And, it will take time to settle. If you feel off-kilter now, it just means you are feeling all these shifts. Be kind to yourself and trust things are aligning for you at a deeper energetic level, which will eventually manifest into the physical too.

This was the chart from Saturday:

My group are creating their own Oracle cards and they are stunning!

The first group of The Oracle Within course is going better than I could have hoped for as the ladies are starting to share their cards with me and I'll soon get some samples printed too before we send to print in September. The above cards were created by Jema who is an astrologer and aren't they just gorgeous?!

I’ll share more cards from the group soon- there are too many to share here!

I'm starting another group in October, come and see if it's for you by booking into this taster version where I'll take you through the process to create 3 cards over 2 sessions. Use code 9G1K6D to get 33% off which makes it just £33 for the two sessions.

September Workshop

The Amazing Oracle Ladies ❤️

On the morning of 7th July 2005 at I can tell you exactly where I was - It was 9am and I'd just arrived at London Waterloo, planning to hop on the tube to travel to my marketing internship at marketing agency N1 Creative based near Aldgate.

We were told the tubes were completely closed - this was unusual, but I didn't think too much of it headed out to get a bus instead. It was quite a wait to get on (but of course there was a fairly orderly queue - this is the British way), but the bus made it 10 minutes down the road before we were told to all get off, without an explanation.

This was before the days of Twitter / Social Media so we didn't really know what was happening. I don’t even have any photos - I don’t remember what phone I had but I don’t think it had a camera. The first iPhone hadn’t been released yet - that would come 2 years later. It was only when I joined the huge crowds walking along the South Bank of the Thames being guided by police that I came to learn that London had just been bombed in multiple places - including one on the underground line I had been just about to get on (the district line at Aldgate).

It was one of those moments where everything suddenly changed. Whilst I hadn’t been near any of the bombs myself thankfully, I was now stranded somewhere between Waterloo and Aldgate, and had to work out how to get back to a train to go home as clearly getting into the office was no longer a realistic option given the mass chaos that was going on. I saw police vans and cars with sirens blasting every few minutes. I wasn’t familiar enough with London then to know my way around, but was able to retrace the bus journey back towards Waterloo. There were lots of blockades and at one point I sat down in a random pub to watch the TV, use the facilities, and understand more about what had happened.

We were then directed by police to head back to our train stations if we were commuting ASAP as it was only expected to get busier as those who had made it to their offices began to leave as well.

A “Peripeteia Moment”

That day for me, aged 22, it was my first “Peripeteia Moment” - a moment when I realised that life didn’t always go as expected. The word means a sudden or unexpected reversal of circumstances. Up until then, I’d followed the expected plan - studied at school, completed my university degree in Psychology, now I was pursuing a creative marketing career.

This might sound a bit dramatic, but I believe it’s these moments that shape us and ultimately push us towards destiny rather than fate. Whilst I didn’t change anything dramatically straight away, I see it as a significant event in a 20 year journey of changing the way I think - both about myself and life.

Fate vs Destiny

Fate = What happens when we follow our subconscious programming - what is expected of us - it feels easy because it’s familiar, even if it’s not actually easy.

Destiny = Our path we truly want to follow - how we become our best selves (but it’s not the ‘easy’ route)

Looking back now, I can see how that day marked a quiet shift in me. It was the first time I truly grasped that nothing in life is guaranteed - not even the next hour. I was 22, wide-eyed and still moving through the world as if everything would go to plan.

52 people lost their lives that day. Hundreds more were injured. I was lucky, and I don’t use that word lightly. I wasn’t directly impacted, and I’ll never claim to understand the depth of grief others experienced. But something in me changed. A deeper awareness landed. Not all at once, but slowly over time.

I wouldn’t ever say I’m glad it happened. It was a horrific, senseless tragedy. But given that it did happen, I can acknowledge the way it woke me up. It shook something loose in me. It planted the seed of a question I’ve been following ever since - what really matters? Who am I here to be?

That moment became part of the quiet turning in my life - away from the expected path, and towards something more meaningful, more conscious, more mine.

“You can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backward”

That day wasn’t the only turning point. Life, it turns out, gives us many.

Some are loud and obvious. Others creep in quietly, only revealing their impact years later. Each one has shaped me - not always gently, but always honestly.

Here are a few that stand out when I look back:

• 2008 – The housemate situation

  When my housemates ganged up me - Taught me the cost of people-pleasing and the importance of trusting my instincts.

• 2012 – The abnormal smear result

  A health scare that shook my sense of invincibility and brought my body into the conversation.

• 2013 – Relationship issues whilst in Australia

  Where I first realised the only way love would really work is if I was 100% truly myself. It felt so vulnerable and messy.

• 2017 – Matrescence

  Becoming a mother cracked me open in ways I couldn’t have prepared for. It rearranged everything.

• 2019 – Redundancy from Microsoft

  Forced a pause I didn’t know I needed. It gave me space to reimagine what work could look like.

• 2020 – The pandemic and business loss

  A humbling collapse. I had to let go of what I’d built and start again, differently.

• 2022 – Cancer

  Nothing shaped me more. It broke me open, and somehow, I’m more whole now.

• 2023 – The sudden contract end

  A reminder that stability is often an illusion, but my roots are deeper than any role.

• 2024 – Redundancy (again)

  Still fresh, but already revealing: endings don’t mean failure. Sometimes they’re just space being made.

These moments seem to be getting more frequent as the urge to step up into who I know I was always meant to be becomes undeniable.

It wasn’t a coincidence I was there that day in London. That event formed part of the tapestry of my life, and I know if I had been one of the victims, I’d have wanted some good to come out of it. Some sense that it wasn’t all a waste.

So I whisper to the me of 20 years ago, walking through the streets of London confused and unsure of herself:

You have what it takes.

You’ll get through cancer.

You’ll rebuild after the losses.

You’ll learn to trust your voice.

One day you’ll look back and see that none of it was wasted - even the hardest bits.

You’ll use it all.

You’ll turn it into something that helps others find their way too.

You won’t follow the expected path.

You’ll carve your own.

And it will be beautiful.

There’s also something missing in how we talk about time. We often think of it only as chronos – the ticking, measured time on a clock. But there’s also kairos – sacred time, soulful time. The kind that bends and expands in meaningful moments. The kind that doesn’t care how old you are, only how alive you feel. When you are in a ‘flow state’ and have no attachment to time.

When we define life by age alone, we risk missing what actually matters – the quality of the moments we live, not the quantity of years we count.

I also don’t feel like I’m in the ‘middle’ of anything. I feel like I’m just starting to come home to myself.

How do we even define midlife when we have no idea how long we’ll be here?

We treat it like a tidy midpoint – halfway between birth and death – but life isn’t that predictable. There’s no set timeline. No one stamped our foot with an expiry date.

Trying to label this phase as midlife creates a strange pressure. Like there’s a checklist we should have completed by now. Settled down. Sorted out. Smoothed over.

But what if we’re not halfway yet?

What if we passed that mark already and didn’t know it?

What if life keeps looping, spiralling, restarting?

There’s something much more honest – and much more alive – about not needing to define where we are.

Going through Cancer in 2022 changed how I think about everything – especially time.

When you’ve been face to face with your mortality, you stop making assumptions. You stop planning in decades. You stop calling anything “the middle”.

There’s something almost arrogant about assuming we’re at the halfway point. As if we’re owed more time. As if we know how the story will unfold. Aging is a privilege.

After cancer, I don’t measure my life in years. I measure it in presence.

Am I here today? Did I feel connected? Did I say what mattered?

That’s how I keep time now.

Maybe the real milestone isn’t age, but aliveness.

What ‘Midlife’ Meant to me growing up in the 80s / 90s

When I was growing up, midlife meant something entirely different. To me it was the Margaret Thatcher style suits, the long bob haircut, the ‘clippy cloppy’ shoes, the shoulder pads, the idea that you worked really hard just to maybe afford a little time off. It came with a certain sort of ‘strictness’ and boxed-in-ness if that’s a word.

Obviously part of that was ‘just how things were’ back then. But I think a word like ‘Midlife’ still carries some of that essence.

So when I look at my own life now – in my 40s, creative, curious, constantly evolving – this doesn’t feel like what I thought it would be.

I don’t think we saw this trend coming - that Millennials would reach their 30s and 40s and embark on a profound questioning of their life paths, pushing the boundaries of 'cycle breaking' further than any generation before.

So, what do we call it then?!

Do we just use our age - my 30s, my 40s, my 50s?

A bit dull.

This whole thing feels like the older version of “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman” - thanks Britney Spears in 2001 for that… 💃 🎶

Maybe now it’s:

“I’m too Wise for Nonsense, too Young for Invisibility…”

“No Longer Who I Was, Not Yet Who I’ll Be…”

“I’m not a midlifer… not yet buying the narrative” 🎶 💃

Britney interlude aside…

Possibly we could return to ancient wisdom - our ancestors would have revered the wisdom that comes with age. I always think I’d respect an older version of myself simply because of all the extra experiences I’d have had.

Some known options:

💡 How about “Elderhood” - for me this feels suitable for maybe age 50+
To be considered a ‘wise elder’ - it’s not quite where I’m at right now age 42. Maybe I won’t feel it when I do hit 50.

💡 The Japanese use “Second Spring” for life post menopause - I like the idea but it feels a bit too sugar-coated for the grit and truth of what this phase really holds, and also too tied to biological life phase.

💡 In Celtic and Pagan traditions, “The Crone” is the third phase of the triple goddess (Maiden, Mother, Crone). Often misunderstood as ‘old’, but she symbolises deep wisdom, intuition, and sovereignty. However the word has since been used in a derogatory way as an insult. Whilst we ‘should’ reclaim the word, for me it doesn’t quite capture this ‘inbetween’ phase.

💡 In recent times, the idea of “The Third Age” has cropped up – A sociological term meaning post-childrearing, pre-eldercare. However, to me that is another word for ‘retirement’ which is more age 60+

Essentially all of these feel more suitable for age 50+ from where I stand.

What I have settled on for the moment is right now:

I am in my “Power Pause”

It’s the time when you stop reaching for who you think you should be - and reconnect with who you truly are.

It’s the breath before a new rhythm. The silence before your next truth arrives.

It’s not a break. It’s a turning.

Life still flows - but the hustle doesn’t.

The striving stops. The pretending ends.

You pause, not to catch your breath… but to change direction.

This isn’t a pause before returning to the same path.

This is the moment you choose a different one.

It lasts as long as it needs to.

It’s not about the time you take - it’s about what you no longer return to.

Essentially, it’s the season where we stop pretending and start remembering who we really are. Perhaps necessary after growing up in the 80s and 90s as an older Millennial. Perhaps our kids won’t need a Power Pause.

But for now, I hope people can say it proudly - I’m in my Power Pause!!

Maybe after that I’ll feel I can step into my Elderhood when I turn 50… but not yet.

Ultimately, we get to name this season for ourselves.

Not based on how old we are. Not based on what we’ve achieved.

But on how we feel. On who we’re becoming. On what really matters now.

So I’ll leave you with this question:

What season are you really in – and what would you call it if no one else got a say?

Ready to explore your own Power Pause?

This isn’t about making surface-level changes.

It’s about coming back to yourself – honestly, bravely, and without apology.

When we work together, we’ll gently unravel the layers of who you’ve had to be, so you can reconnect with who you actually are.

We’ll explore:

• The parts of you you’ve muted to fit in or keep the peace

• The longings you’ve been told to set aside

• The work that drains you – and the path towards something that nourishes you

• The patterns keeping you stuck in burnout, over-giving or avoidance

• The life you want to live now – not in 10 years, not when it’s more convenient, but now

This is a turning point.

Not because everything falls apart – but because you stop pretending it’s all fine.

And in that space, something powerful begins.

If you’re ready to reclaim your clarity, energy and purpose – this is where we begin.

Explore Your Power Pause

Further Reading

This article by The Guardian offers some interesting insights:

“Middle‑aged women discovered that there was life after children… most middle‑aged women experienced what the anthropologist Margaret Mead called ‘post‑menopausal zest’”

“The very words “middle age” can cause strong negative reactions. Roz Colthart, 49, runs a property business in Edinburgh alongside studying for a master’s degree. “Middle age as a term makes you feel a bit yuck. The term ‘middle’ is so vanilla; who wants to be average? You’re no longer young, but you’re not an old sweetie that people are going to give up their seat for on the bus, either. Yet middle age is actually a fantastic place to be. It’s just the judgmental attitudes towards it that are depressing.”

This article on the BBC takes an evidence-based approach to reclaim middle age as a powerful, essential, and meaningful phase - not one to be feared or mocked.

“The so-called mid-life crisis? It’s a great story – but there’s no science behind it.”

“Middle-aged people are the ones telling supposedly sharper and stronger young adults what to do. That’s not decline – that’s leadership.”

This article which says our 40s is our unhappiest life stage - particularly for Millennials

“Happiness is U-shaped – it bottoms out in your 40s, then starts to inch its way up again in your 50s.”

“We spend the least amount of leisure time of any other age cohort… since the survey was first released in 2003.”

It’s not because you’re broken. It’s because you’re becoming.

We grow through challenges. Through regret. Through the moments we wish we could rewrite.

Stories like Pride and Prejudice endure not just because of the romance, but because they quietly mirror our own unraveling. Beneath the bonnets and banter, it’s a tale of shame, misjudgment, identity loss - and the quiet courage it takes to come home to yourself after you’ve seen all the ways you were wrong. More on that later…

A Tale of Two Journeys

The ‘Hero’s’ Journey was famously mapped by Joseph Campbell after studying myths and legends across cultures. His work gave language to something we instinctively knew: that we grow by leaving what’s familiar, facing challenges that confront our very identity, and returning transformed.

But for many women, especially those peeling back layers of conditioning, something felt missing. The battles weren’t always external. The dragons weren’t always visible. The transformation often came not from conquest- but from reconnection.

That’s where the Heroine’s Journey emerged. Writer and therapist Maureen Murdock created this model in 1990 after noticing that the traditional Hero’s arc didn’t fully reflect the emotional, internal initiations women often face. Instead of a quest to slay, it’s often a journey to soften. To remember. To reclaim.

These paths are not at odds - they are mirrors. Parallel arcs of awakening. Both heroic. Both necessary. One more internal, one more external. And increasingly, many of us are walking a fusion of the two.

This is my version of Maureen Murdock’s Heroine’s Journey:

You’re Not Lost. You’re Being Initiated.

We’re all living through some kind of identity shift - especially now.

Maybe your work no longer fits.

Maybe your body feels like it belongs to a past version of you.

Maybe you realise that you’ve suppressed many of your more feminine qualities like creativity & intuition

Maybe the certainty you once held now feels like a lie you told yourself to stay safe.

You are not malfunctioning.

You are mid-transformation.

Our culture celebrates the polished version of growth: the big wins, the breakthroughs, the shiny milestones. But real growth happens in the shadows.

It happens when you’re lying in bed wondering, “Who even am I anymore?”

It happens when you realise the thing you thought you wanted… doesn’t fit your actual self.

It happens in the space between the versions of you that no longer work, and the one you’re not quite ready to be.

This is sacred territory. I have spent years in this territory unpicking who I truly am underneath all the conditioning.

What would Lizzie say?!

Getting back to Pride and Prejudice… I love using literature as a way to illustrate my point, so let's go with my favourite Heroine - Elizabeth Bennet, or Lizzie to her friends.

Her story isn’t just about falling in love with Darcy.

It’s about facing the discomfort of realising she misread everything - including herself.

That moment when she reads his anguished letter and sees the truth?

That really was when the emotions started flowing and her previous identity started collapsing - she had to admit she was wrong. She started seeing things differently. That’s the challenge every heroine must face - the one where the mask cracks and what’s underneath finally breathes.

Her turning point wasn’t falling for someone.

It was finally seeing herself clearly - and choosing to change.

That’s the actual return. The real win.

And it’s available to you too.

This Isn’t a Step-by-Step Process (It’s Deeper Than That)

You don’t need a strategy for “healing.”

You don’t need to follow a perfect 12-stage journey to “become your best self.”

You need truth.

You need to let yourself break pattern.

You need to stop hiding behind the idea that you need to be ready before you show up.

You are already powerful - even in your mess.

Especially in your mess.

The part of you that wants to pull away, shut down, or run? That’s the very edge you’re meant to dance with. Not to conquer it, but to get close enough to hear what it’s really trying to say.

I have spent years trying to hide my ‘mess’ and I’m done.

You’re the Heroine. And the Catalyst.

What if you let this be the chapter where you fall back into relationship with yourself?

Where you:

• Forgive the past version of you who did the best she could.

• Stop auditioning for a role that was never meant for you.

• Let your softness be your superpower, not your shame.

Your story doesn’t need to be epic to be meaningful.

It needs to be true.

Final Thought: You Are Not Here to Perform Perfection

You’re here to be seen in your becoming.

That moment you thought was the end?

It might just be your invitation.

The one where you return not to who you were, but to who you were always meant to be.

How to Embrace Your Heroine’s Journey with my Support:

• The Spiral Path: Understand your life from a new perspective- New short course just £22.22 on pre-sale

• My Membership The Soul Constellation Collective

• New: The Reclamation Week Me and you + your charts for a week, what part of you do you want to reclaim?

• The Oracle Within Create your own oracle deck… (Last spot remaining- starts this week!)

Share

Leave a comment

Subscribe now

Fertility can be such a tender, private experience, but for many of us, that privacy becomes silence. And in that silence, we can feel isolated, ashamed, or unsure of where to turn. I believe in sharing stories like this one to help normalise the complexity of fertility journeys - especially the parts that aren’t easy. 

My hope is that in reading this, someone might feel less alone, more informed, or simply seen. *If* I am able to bring another child into the world, it will feel like the most powerful embodiment of the healing and transformation I’ve walked through over the last seven years. And if I don’t, I’ll still honour this journey as sacred - un unfolding of my true self. Either way, I believe that truth-telling can be its own kind of medicine - and I hope this one finds whoever needs it.

**Note- I talk about my cancer journey quite matter-of-fact in this piece. It was obviously very traumatic, but I didn’t want to go into too much depth with that as my focus here is on the fertility aspect.**

Becoming a Mother

My journey into motherhood started in late 2016 when we found out I was pregnant with Leo. We conceived quickly. We hadn’t even started tracking or planning. It just happened whilst on holiday in Australia. He arrived in my body easily, as a tiny embryo that looked like a jelly bean with a heartbeat.

But the birth? That was something else. A 34-hour labour that left me physically and emotionally shattered. Healing was long and complex. The first few months of motherhood were heavy. Beautiful, but hard. I wasn’t in a rush to do it all again.

The first signs

In 2018, I began seeing a specialist. I was still in pain which doctors had told me was related to healing after a traumatic episiotomy / forceps birth- even going to the loo hurt. After an exam, I was handed a haemorrhoid cream and told it would help. It didn’t. But I moved on. Or tried to, dealing with ongoing pain and soreness. We are taught to trust the man in the white lab coat… more on that later.

By early 2020, just before the world began going into lockdowns, we started trying for a second baby. This time was different. I felt the weight of timing, of age, of uncertainty. I also deeply wanted a daughter - so we followed gender-swaying protocols, carefully tracking ovulation windows and aiming for the ‘right’ days.

Months passed. Then it was over a year.

By mid 2021, I began testing - bloodwork, scans, internal checks. I felt a dull ache in my womb area and knew something was off. The results were mostly reassuring - mild endometriosis, a small benign cyst. But still, I felt it. A quiet ‘no’ from my body. I was struggling to have any sort of decent level of energy - always feeling a bit fatigued especially in the first few months of 2022.

Listening to my intuition to get a diagnosis

And then - a moment of intuitive disruption. I saw someone I follow online share her bowel cancer diagnosis. As I listened, I felt chills. Some of her symptoms mirrored mine - bleeding when going to the loo, fatigue, abdominal discomfort. I ordered an at-home FIT test (known informally as ‘the poo test’). Not because I thought I had cancer - just to rule things out. Thanks to the amazing Dame Deborah James, I already had some awareness of the symptoms and seeing this on Instagram was the final piece that led to me stepping away from the doctors and taking things into my own hands.

The test came back abnormal.

That one test changed everything- it was the first domino falling.

Within weeks, I’d referred myself to a specialist and booked a colonoscopy. The official diagnosis followed on 28th July 2022 - bowel cancer, stage 3. In an instant, the fertility journey paused. My focus narrowed to survival.

On 9 August 2022, I had bowel resection surgery. A foot of colon removed. Five nights in hospital. Six weeks of healing. And then, another bold step - fertility preservation.

Despite everything, I still hoped. I began daily hormone injections - in my abdomen which was still healing from surgery. The process is designed to stimulate the ovaries to produce multiple eggs in one cycle. It was intense. The hormones, the scans, the waiting. When the time was right, late September 2022, the eggs were retrieved and combined with my husband’s contribution. We created two embryos - both 5 days old when frozen. It was all done in a bit of a blur. I was very much feeling like a patient… going from appointment to appointment.

Being ‘patient’…

Interesting fact - the word ‘patient’ means:

“Bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint”

- it was interesting that my real healing journey began because I was no longer willing to suffer ‘without complaint’…

Whilst I appreciate that the doctor I’d seen in 2018 felt that my chances of anything worse than haemorrhoids was low, had he referred me for further tests, perhaps things could have been caught much earlier without the need for chemo… given I’d been asking about the same issue for over a year. So this is my reminder to you… TRUST YOURSELF! If you feel something isn’t right, pursue all the tests and checks you can within reason to rule out cancer. It is treatable when it’s caught early enough. I took his word for it and continued being a ‘good patient’ suffering without complaint for 5 more YEARS! That makes me really angry when I think about it now…

I started chemo in October 2022 - four cycles that could potentially impact fertility. But after treatment ended, my periods did return within 6 weeks. They were on time and regular. Feeling my monthly cycle again was like coming home to myself after months of feeling a strange pause. Still, I don’t know if the chemo did affect the quality of my remaining eggs. I was about to turn 40. Time mattered.

Trying again

If there is going to be any recurrence with cancer, it’s most likely in the first 2 years post treatment, so we agreed we’d wait two years before trying again. In late 2024, my scans and bloods came back all clear to my relief after living scan to scan. We decided to get the 2 embryos genetically tested, confident that at least one would be viable.

But just before Christmas 2024, we found out that neither embryo would survive transfer. They were genetically abnormal - incapable of becoming a baby. Had they been transferred, I’d have gone through the whole procedure for nothing.

It was a quiet, shattering grief. One of the most strangest phone calls I’ve ever taken - actually I was in the middle of folding laundry when I answered. Afterwards I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. I waited until my husband Nick came home to tell him- I thought it would be even stranger to receive that kind of news in an office environment.

We had a choice then - to start again with IVF, or not. But after everything - surgery, chemo, egg retrieval - my body (and Nick) said no. A full-body no. So we listened & we chose to take a natural approach.

In January this year, I did more hormone testing via blood tests at a specialist fertility clinic - checking FSH, LH, AMH, & estradiol. One test between days 2-5 and one test on day 21. The results showed I was still ovulating, though my ovarian reserve was understandably low for my age. Not impossible. Just a different landscape to when we’d conceived my son when I was 33.

Cycle tracking on another level

As part of the approach, I knew I needed to be very aware of how my cycle was running. I have recorded my cycle using an app since 2012. Originally because I had an abnormal smear result in 2012 which gave me the prompt to take much more interest in my cycles rather than just knocking back a contraceptive pill every evening. It was the beginning of my journey to reclaiming my natural cyclical non-linear self.

So, earlier this year, I started tracking cycles even more seriously - using digital monitors, apps, strips. Most were a bit vague- not giving true clarity on if and when I was ovulating. But the Mira device changed everything. It tracks hormone levels daily through urine tests - offering a clear picture of surges and timing.

The first cycle looked fairly typical. Ovulation confirmed around day 12. But the second was erratic - hormone peaks and dips, a failed ovulation attempt followed by a delayed LH surge on day 16. It all made sense in terms of what I’d been feeling - a sense of pause, unsettled energy. My body trying. Resetting. Trying again.

It was validating to see it in the data - to know I wasn’t imagining it.

I am likely in perimenopause. Or maybe my cycles always varied, and I just never knew. Either way, I’m learning. Tracking. Listening. Honouring.

Our intention now is to continue trying naturally for the next year or so - with openness, with trust. No more IVF. No more forcing. (I have no problem with IVF, just doesn’t feel right for me right now).

The next steps - leaning into trust

I’m deeply grateful for Leo. I’m already a mother. But there’s still this quiet longing - a sense that our family isn’t quite complete. A yearning I can’t deny. I’ve felt a sense of another soul wanting to come through - sensed that she is waiting for the right portal to arrive. Maybe it has nothing to do with my health journey- maybe it’s just not her time to arrive yet.

I am leaning deeply into trust. My intuition led me to an earlier diagnosis and the possibility of healing which I am always going to be so grateful for. So I know I can trust it.

When others become parents

Sometimes, watching others welcome babies easily, it aches. It really aches.

But mostly - I feel admiration. Love. Respect. I know how sacred (and challenging!) their motherhood and fatherhood paths will be too.

Something awakened in me when I became a mother - a creative fire, a deeper calling. And while I hope to birth another child, I also know that creation can take many forms.

Maybe I’ll birth another life.

Maybe I’ll birth a book. A body of work. A new version of myself.

Whatever comes - I trust it’s the right path.

Because this is not an ending.

It’s a sacred becoming.

My Cyclical Approach

Hopefully this personal share gives some context on why I take a cyclical approach to life as a whole - why I embrace a non-linear approach, and why I am so passionate advocating for women’s health. I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences if you are willing to share (comments or DMs!)

Subscribe now

Share

Beneath the dramatic plot lines and tongue-in-cheek humour, Lucifer is layered with something far more interesting - a mirror for the human psyche and a meditation on free will, guilt, and redemption. A reflection of the very human (and very spiritual) journey of waking up.

It’s light entertainment. Campy at times. Definitely not designed as a deep spiritual text. But that’s what I love about it. Sometimes the most unexpected places hold the richest metaphors - when we’re not looking too hard, our soul sneaks in through the side door.

(Spoilers below, however the show ended in 2021 so not new information!)

The Key points that struck me most -

1. Redemption is always available

Lucifer Morningstar is the classic scapegoat - cast out, misunderstood, painted as evil. And yet, what unfolds is a story of choice. A man (or angel, or archetype) who chooses to change. Not for someone else. Not for glory. But because he’s ready to stop running from himself.

It’s a quiet reminder that redemption doesn’t arrive all at once. It begins with self-awareness. With the decision to look at what we’ve buried.

2. Free will and fate live side by side

This thread runs all the way through the show. Lucifer constantly claims he doesn’t make anyone do anything. People choose. But do they? Or are we always choosing from the same set of patterns? Is fate just the habit of repeating ourselves until we get conscious enough to stop?

3. Hell as repetition, not punishment

In Lucifer, hell isn’t fire and demons - it’s a loop. People relive their most painful moment over and over again. Not because they’re sentenced to it, but because they’re stuck in it. They can leave… but only once they face the truth.

That hit something deep for me. How often do we do that in this life? Stay stuck in loops of shame, guilt, or regret - not because someone’s punishing us, but because we haven’t faced the thing underneath?

4. Maze and the possibility of change

One of the most surprising storylines is Maze - Lucifer’s demon companion, a literal torturer, who slowly develops a soul. She learns to love. To long. To soften.

Her journey is a reminder that we’re never too far gone. That even the most hardened parts of us can remember how to feel.

5. Therapists as angels in disguise

There’s something strangely beautiful about Lucifer becoming a therapist in hell. Not to punish people, but to help them understand why they’re stuck.

It made me think: maybe that’s what therapists do here, too. Maybe they are our real-life angels - the ones who walk with us into our loops and gently hold up a mirror until we’re ready to see. Not because they are ‘better’ than us - because they ARE us. But we must choose to see them.

6. The sacredness of small moments

I loved the storyline of Amenadiel becoming a father. Watching an angel fall in love with the everyday beauty of human life - the weight of a sleeping baby, a shared look, the sacred mess of it all. It’s a quiet teaching: that meaning isn’t found in the big, dramatic scenes, but in the ordinary ones we often overlook.

7. Love and worthiness

Lucifer’s love for Chloe is one of the most human things about him. Around her, he becomes physically vulnerable - his powers fade, his guard drops. At first, he doesn’t understand it. But it’s not weakness. It’s that something in him knows he’s safe.

And yet, he struggles to believe he’s worthy of her. That he could be loved as he is.

Her presence doesn’t change him. It reveals him. His journey isn’t about earning love - it’s about believing he deserves it.

Rewriting Heaven and Hell

Our modern ideas of heaven and hell - rewards and punishments, light and dark, right and wrong - weren’t always so black and white.

The word heaven comes from the Old English heofon, which originally meant simply “the sky” or “celestial realm.” It wasn’t a prize, it was a place beyond. A mystery.

Hell comes from the Old English hel - meaning “the hidden place.” Not fire. Not punishment. Just… what is unseen. What is buried.

And Lucifer? From the Latin lux (light) and ferre (to carry). The light-bringer. A name for the morning star, Venus. It wasn’t originally evil - it was illuminating. Only later was it reframed as darkness.

Somewhere along the way, religion and power structures narrowed these meanings. By the 4th century, as Christianity spread, heaven and hell became tools for control. Around this time, morality was mapped onto these places: good people go up, bad people go down. (Oh hi Patriarchy…)

Medieval art and texts like Dante’s Inferno gave us the images we now hold - hell as torment, heaven as reward. But if we look beyond doctrine, we find something older and much more nuanced.

In Gnostic texts, suffering comes not from sin but from forgetting who we are. In Eastern traditions, karma isn’t punishment - it’s learning. Ancient Egyptian beliefs focused not on heaven and hell, but on balance. On truth.

The deeper message?

We aren’t sent anywhere.

We create the realms we live in - through choice, through guilt, through courage.

Heaven and hell aren’t destinations.

They’re states of being.

Lucifer as a mirror

For me, Lucifer became more than just entertainment. It became a way of looking at the loops we live in. (Hello 7 year Saturn Cycle and 9 Year Numerology Cycles!) The parts of ourselves we hide. The ways we seek meaning.

Perhaps I over-analyse, but I always chose to watch shows where there are deeper meanings and metaphors aplenty.

And that’s the beauty of stories and myths. They help us translate the complexities of life and death. They give shape to things we can’t quite fully grasp…

Maybe heaven isn’t a golden palace.

Maybe hell isn’t a pit. Maybe it’s energy. Pattern. Colour. A thousand shimmering layers of consciousness we don’t yet have words for.

But we can feel them.

And we can choose, moment by moment, to move differently through them.

Want to Identify Your Own ‘Hell Loops’?! (not what I normally call them!!)

I have a free guide to the 7 year cycle here where you can start to tap into this bigger pattern and how it might be showing up in your life:

https://lauren-jane.myflodesk.com/7-year-cycle

Subscribe now

Share

Leave a comment

Soul Psychology Notes: 30th May 2025:

This week’s vibe? Half term madness, and embracing the mess…

This week is when the juggle goes to another level - the precarious balance between creating fun memories with my son Leo (he is 7), but also taking time for myself. We have been to a water slide park and an outdoor adventure park and now we are in Jersey for a few days visiting family.

In between the family time, I managed to fit in hosting an in-person circle, which really re-energised me, and my regular hypnotherapy session (literally keeps me sane!) So whilst it's been a lot… I don't feel completely depleted. However I have had to let go of things like keeping the house tidy, sticking to the usual sort of timings for the day, and my usual sort of fitness and work routine & hours.

However, it does feel good to think of myself as a bit of a Lioness type - I work in strong short bursts and then deeply rest (read my post here on that)

My Q for you:

How can you embrace the ‘messiness’ more? Does the Lioness analogy work for you as well? (Perhaps so if you are a Manifesting Generator in Human Design like me!) If not, what animal analogy works for you?

What I've been learning this week - Hormone Testing with Mira

I shared in my last update about my learnings from Hair Mineral Analysis Testing (HTMA)… the trend with physical insights continues this week as I've been using the Mira Hormone Monitor.

I've only tested for 2 cycles so far but it's been absolutely fascinating and very validating to see the actual data behind some of the mood swings and to understand how my hormones are fluctuating as I reluctantly admit that I'm in perimenopause (not surprising given I'm 42 and post-chemo…)

This cycle results indicated that it was likely an anovulatory cycle in which the hormone levels showed that it wasn't a true ovulation. I'm planning to share more on my fertility journey on my Substack. I do feel talking and sharing openly about this is key. Having awareness of how our cycles are operating and shifting means we can make informed decisions and also like I said, can really validate how you're feeling emotionally, rather than thinking you just need to ‘pull yourself together’!

My Suggestion for you:

If you aren't tracking your cycles already I suggest using a free app such as Stardust or Flo or P-tracker. Gathering that data and monitoring your cycle length and energy levels is step one. The next step after that is either getting blood tests done to check hormone levels, or investing in something like a Mira Hormone Monitor - not cheap but I really think the insights are worth it.

If you are on contraception, post-menopause, or breastfeeding, you may still notice some sense of experiencing cycles via the Moon Cycle- pay attention to the New Moon to start a cycle and Full Moon for the ‘ovulation’ day of that cycle!

How an ‘Average’ cycle looks:

Some of my data points - not quite 'average'…

And Finally… free workshop next week!

Create your own Oracle Card…

Oracle cards - I see them like a self-help book but much more intuitive and visual. They give you prompts for reflection that you probably would not have logically thought of.

Having done the Soul Psychology work on myself, I know that in my chart it's about combining my creative side with my intuitive side along with my teaching / role model side.

So I am running a course where I'll be supporting and guiding women to create their very own deck of cards based on THEIR unique energy, experiences and preferences.

If you're curious, come join for a free taster next Wednesday… details here

How to go deeper into YOUR Soul Psychology:

The Spiral Path: Understand your life from a new perspective- New short course just £22.22 on pre-sale:

My Membership The Soul Constellation Collective: Just 1 Founding Member spot left

New: The Reclamation Week Me and you + your charts for a week, what part of you do you want to reclaim?

The Oracle Within Create your own oracle deck… (Last 2 spots remaining)

The Vortex This isn't another course. It's a recalibration. Hybrid 1:1 and small group for the deep work of stepping into your next level.

Oh hi all!

After literally years of being in a ‘cocoon’ phase, (2022 until a few weeks ago), all my ideas are now coming out… in typical Manifesting Generator style! (IYKYK)

✩ I recently launched my new membership

✩ Ran Unscroll Your Life Course

✩ Created The Witch Within Course

✩ Am hosting an 8/8 day retreat alongside Angela - The Practical Mystic

✩ Drafted up content for my mini course on the 7 year Cycle “The Spiral Path” Now open for pre-sales at £22.22

What it’s all for…

My passion is supporting women to become who they were always meant to be, before we got conditioned to play small or hide our true gifts for fear of ‘standing out’ or rocking the boat.

All my work comes back to this - to help you reconnect to who you truly are at a soul level, using Human Design, Astrology, Numerology, Gene Keys and Cycles, along with my background in Psychology.

✩ The Oracle Within - you're invited: Free Taster ✩

My latest offering is a 3 month container to create your very own Oracle Deck- with my guidance. We will get them printed and unboxed for the 10/10 portal. If this sounds intriguing, I am running a FREE taster session on the 4th June.

This is the beta round so there is a really special deal as my very first. group going through this process.

Create an Oracle Card- Free Taster

Read more about the full programme

What if the most powerful oracle deck you’ll ever use…

Was the one you created yourself?

The Oracle Within is a 6-week creative and spiritual journey to design your own soul-aligned oracle deck – infused with your unique energy and intuitive gifts.

Most decks speak to the collective. This one speaks to you – because it’s created by you.

We’ll draw from:

• Numerology – the frequencies you carry and how they show up in your cards

• Astrology – your cosmic blueprint and intuitive strengths

• Human Design – how you naturally receive and express guidance

• Channeled wisdom – what your soul has been waiting to share

• Cosmic cycles – the deeper themes guiding your life

You don’t need design experience. I’ll guide you step-by-step using Canva to create a deck that feels both beautiful and meaningful.

And at the end? You’ll have it printed and sent to you – ready for a special unboxing ceremony together.

Join the free taster session, or join the 4 other women already booked in for this expansive experience by completing the form on this page.

(There are also FAQs there too). Max group size will be 10.

Everyone's cards will be totally different - here are some I created recently:

“The more you connect to the Power within you, the more you can be free in all areas of your life.”

— Louise Hay

How to go deeper into YOUR Soul Psychology:

The Spiral Path:

Understand your life from a new perspective

New short course just £22.22 on pre-sale

My Membership The Soul Constellation Collective:

Just 1 Founding Member spot left

New: The Reclamation Week

Me and you + your charts for a week, what part of you do you want to reclaim?

Like many of you, I’ve walked through my own journey of healing, self-discovery, and growth - and it’s brought me to a place of deep purpose: empowering women to reclaim their voices, their power, and their divine potential. (Who’d have thought a cancer diagnosis aged 39 would have led me here?!)

For years, I felt like I was just skimming the surface of my own transformation.

A lifelong student, I was always taking some course around self-development. But all the information stayed intellectual and not embodied - I was hoping each new course would be a ‘silver bullet’.

It was only after my cancer diagnosis in 2022 when I started working much more deeply with Human Design, Numerology and Astrology that I truly understood myself and stepped into my power. I become more ME.

Through this work, I’ve uncovered something profound:

The stories we carry as women are not just our own. They are threads woven into a much larger tapestry -

an ancient, collective story of women who have been silenced, dismissed, or shamed for their power.

Tapping into this collective energy was both humbling and electrifying. It reminded me of what I’ve always known deep down: that my work in this life is to honour these stories by helping women today reclaim their truth and stand boldly in their power.

I believe we’re stepping into a new era of Divine Feminine energy. Especially as we move beyond the “nice girl” expectations of youth and into the Wise Woman phase of life in our mid to late 30s, we’re being called to lead—not from a place of ego, but from our hearts, our wisdom, and our lived experiences.

Subscribe now

This isn’t about fitting into society’s old narratives; it’s about creating new ones.

That’s why I’m here: to guide, inspire, and empower women to embrace their authentic selves, let go of what no longer serves, and step into their full radiance.

Through the programs and content I create, like I give you the tools and space to rediscover yourself, reconnect with your power, and shine as the leader you were always meant to be.

We’re stronger together, and our collective ripple can change the world. Let’s rise, reclaim, and lead with the grace and power of the Divine Feminine.

Let’s Liberate ourselves!

This week feels like a breath of YES, finally!! And deep gratitude.

Last week, I created Unscroll Your Life — a free 5-day experience that poured straight from my heart, not from strategy.

I let myself be guided by my energy instead of expectation - honouring my Piscean Manifesting Generator nature, my love of fluidity, freedom, and the sacred space I need to feel deeply and create from that place. (For my Human Design peeps - Channel 12-22 vibes all the way.)

It was the first time I’ve ever delivered something that felt like it was born from my entire being - not a filtered version.

No Zoom calls. No rigid schedule. Just pure, intuitive flow.

I know Zoom delivery of courses works for many, but for me? Working in different environments, tuning into my creative rhythm, and needing my space to be mine - a quiet room on demand just doesn’t work. It dampens my fire. You'll mostly find me in cafes, or out walking, sitting in the park voice-noting out ideas.

So I let myself roam. I created only when I felt the spark - after sun-soaked moments, meditations, & walks that helped me breathe. I listened inward.

There were whispers of the old people-pleaser voice -wanting to be the “good girl” who shows up perfectly, posts at the same time every day, and earns gold stars for consistency.

But I didn’t listen to her.

Instead, I waited until I felt the fire again. Until joy, not duty, moved me.

And that changed everything.

✨ 72 women joined.

✨ The Telegram group was alive.

✨ My membership grew, and Oracle Within is nearly full.

All of this, from saying YES to how I actually work best. Not by tightening the reins — but by softening into realness.

Turns out… my rhythm, my edges, my emotional waves are not something to manage.

They’re something to be witnessed, trusted, and led from.

My Reminder for you:

You don’t need to force your magic into a format that stifles it.

Your power is in the unfiltered, the unscheduled, the deeply felt.

Let the truth of your energy lead the way. (And if you want to join, Unscroll remains free until Sunday)

What I've been learning this week - Auditing my Supplements and Diet

I recently did a Hair Tissue Mineral Analysis (HTMA), and one of the key findings was something called a “calcium shell.” It’s a pattern that shows up when the body has been under prolonged stress or trauma – a sort of biochemical armour that can make us feel sluggish, foggy, or energetically flat.

Even though my standard blood tests look “normal,” I’ve come to realise that normal isn’t always optimal. Especially after something as body-altering as cancer treatment. (All my bloods were ‘normal’ when I was diagnosed). It was only two tests I did myself privately that helped me seek my diagnosis (feel free to email me back and I'll share more if you are curious).

I’m now much more focused on what’s happening beneath the surface – supporting my recovery in a way that respects both the physical and emotional layers of healing. That includes gently adjusting my supplements, restoring mineral balance, and working with my sensitivity rather than pushing through it.

What’s been fascinating is using ChatGPT to help me bring all this together – from lab results and supplements to energy levels and even my Human Design. It’s been like having a deeply curious research partner who doesn’t get tired of my questions… and combines the physical with spiritual and energetic.

Of course, this is my personal experience, not medical advice – and I always recommend working with a practitioner. But I wanted to share because so many women I speak to are told they’re “fine” when they feel far from it.

You don’t need to wait until something is wrong to listen more closely to your body.

My Suggestion for you:

Gather all your ‘data’ - your supplements, your normal diet, your level of activity and input it all into Chat GPT and ask it to suggest how you could optimise it. It could give you some ideas and also check that if you are taking multiple supplements that they don't end up providing too much of a certain vitamin or mineral. (As above, seek professional advice before making any big changes!)

Screenshot of part of the chat with GPT:

And Finally… a bit of Netflix…

I've been watching the first season of Kaos on Netflix and wow… it’s like ancient mythology got thrown into a blender with dark comedy, trauma healing, and a bit of dystopian soul searching.

It’s a reimagining of the Greek gods - but not in a sparkly, toga-wearing way. Think existential crises, crumbling power structures, and humans waking up to their own agency.

Zeus is paranoid and unraveling, Hades is depressed and living underground, and the mortals are the ones slowly remembering their true power.

It’s wild, weird, and totally on theme if you’re interested in breaking old archetypes, deconditioning, and what happens when divine order starts to fall apart.

What Netflix goodies have you been watching recently?!

I'll be back soon with more Soul Psychology and Whimsical shares…

How to go deeper into YOUR Soul Psychology:

My current offerings if you feel called to go deeper…

The Oracle Within- Create your own oracle deck… (Last 2 spots remaining)

My Membership The Soul Constellation Collective:- Just 1 Founding Member spot left

New: The Reclamation Week - Me and you + your charts for a week, what part of you do you want to reclaim?

The Vortex - This isn't another course. It's a recalibration. Hybrid 1:1 and small group for the deep work of stepping into your next level.

The Spiral Path- Understand your life from a new perspective - new short course just £22.22 on pre-sale…

Leave a comment

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

7 &. 9 Year Cycles

Life moves in rhythms. Some are visible - like the seasons, the moon phases, or your child’s growth spurts. Others are more subtle, like the emotional waves you feel every few years or the sense that something old is asking to be released.

I work with both the 7-year and 9-year cycles because together they offer a more complete picture - one speaks to how you feel inside, the other to what’s unfolding around you.

Want to work out where you are?

Your 7-year cycle follows your age. Think in sevens: 0–7, 7–14, and so on (more below).

Your 9-year cycle (also known as your personal numerology cycle) starts from your birthday each year, and doesn’t necessarily start from 1.

To calculate it:

Birth day + birth month + current year (and reduce to single digit)

For example: 12 March 2025

→ 1 + 2 + 3 + 2 + 0 + 2 + 5 = 15 then reduce down…

→ 1 + 5 = 6

So 2025 is a Year 6 for me.

(Download my free guides to both cycles below for full guidance on yours)

The 7-Year Cycle: Your Inner Landscape

This rhythm is about emotional development, spiritual themes, and personal growth.

Think of it as a deeper pulse running through your life. Every seven years, you step into a new energetic space - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This also roughly aligns with your 7 year Saturn cycle- every 7 years it completes a quarter of its approx. 28 year cycle (more on that in another post!)

Some examples (download my free guide below for full info on all cycles):

• Birth to 7: Safety and belonging (Root Chakra)

• 14 to 21: Personal power and identity (Solar Plexus)

• 35 to 42: Intuition and inner clarity (Third Eye)

Each seven-year stage is a checkpoint for inner alignment.

Ask yourself:

• Am I still living by the values I held seven years ago?

• What feels like it’s ending… or beginning?

• What am I being asked to embody now?

As I turned 42 on 12th March, I started a new 7 year cycle that runs from 42 to the day before I turn 49.

The 7-Year Cycle Link To Your Chakras

Each year links to one of your chakras and each 7 year cycle is also linked to one chakra so in each 7 year cycle you get a ‘double whammy’ where it is both the year of that chakra and the 7-year cycle of that chakra. The last time I had of that was when I was 40 and it was both my Intuitive 7 year cycle and the Intuition year too (connected to the third cycle Chakra). These are the ones highlighted in green below…

This is a summary up to age 83 (see full guidance in my download below)

Download my free guide to the 7-year cycle

⭐️ I've created a brief free guide you can access here

⭐️ Note which: Chakra, Element, Energy type and colour is connected with your current year which runs from birthday to birthday

AI Prompt

If you want to play with this in chat GPT or another AI, you can use this prompt:

"Hey! Can you tell me about my energy right now, taking into account that in 7 year cycles, I'm in my XXXX cycle which is the XXXX year of the cycle. The connections with this mean a focus on my XXXX Chakra, the colour XXXX and XXXX within my physical body.

Also bear in mind I'm a XXXX in human design

Please include a list of what I could lean into, and some journal prompts."

Let me know how you get on! As always be discerning with what Chat GPT suggests and ask further questions if anything doesn't land for you. Use it as a tool to experiment and use for reflection.

Ok let’s move next to the 9-year cycle in more detail…

The 9-Year Cycle: Your Outer Life Themes

The 9-year numerology cycle is about what’s happening in your outer world. It shows you what energy is present in each calendar year - what’s flowing in, what’s clearing out, and what’s asking for attention.

IMPORTANT: It’s not predictive - it’s a map for presence.

NOTE: You may not start from 1 on your year of birth. I started my first year of life on a personal year 9. Download my free guide below to calculate yours.

It’s also known in Numerology as your Personal Year.

• Year 1 - Initiation & Identity

• Year 2 – Intimacy & Integration

• Year 3 – Expression & Visibility

• Year 4 –Stability & Discernment

• Year 5 – Transformation & Alchemy, movement, adventure

• Year 6 – Manifestation & Responsibility

• Year 7 – Inner Mastery & Rest

• Year 8 – Power & Purpose

• Year 9 – Completion & Release, closure, wisdom

Where the 7-year cycle helps you understand your internal evolution, the 9-year cycle gives insight into the practical shifts - career, relationships, home, visibility. Knowing where you are in the cycle means you know when is a good time to start something new or why maybe when you are struggling in certain areas. I love this graphic which gives the broad themes for each year:

You can also think of it as being divided into three phases of 3 years each:

Free Guide

I have also created a free PDF guide to the 9 year cycle - you can download here:

Free Guide

Why Both Matter

When I only looked at one cycle, I sometimes felt confused when reflecting back on my life.

I’d notice I’d had a huge inner transformation (7-year cycle), but life on the outside seemed still. Or I’d see I’d had a high-energy year (like a 1 or 8 in the 9-year cycle), yet emotionally I had been in a more reflective, internal space. I started my first business in a personal 8 year (2018) and then it all ended shortly after my 1 year began in March 2020. So I started something new. However in 2018 I was in the first year of my 7 year cycle, so it was definitely a new beginning emotionally.

Understanding both helped me stop second-guessing myself and accept where I was without trying to rush to the next step.

Now I can recognise:

• I’m in a 6 year: more responsibility, home and family are centre stage, and I’m building towards my 8 and 9 years in 2027 and 2028

• But I’m also in the first year of a new 7 year cycle - running from ages 42–49 with each year in that 7 year cycle having different themes, but I can understand why it really feels like a death and rebirth moment right now

So I know combining both - right now I’m here to lead with love, tend to what’s sacred, and stay rooted even as I expand.

Go Deeper with me!

I am creating a short course called “The Spiral Path” which focuses on the 7-Year cycle so you can dive deeper into what it means for you. We have just scratched the surface in this post!

It’s available at the pre-sale price of £22.22 and will be released in June (normal price £44).

Check it out

And don’t forget my free 5 day offering “Unscroll Your Life” 12-16th May

I hope you found this useful- as always feel free to comment or hit reply to let me know how you got on!

Share

Leave a comment

Soul Psychology Notes: 9th May 2025:

This week’s feeling - No more asking for permission!

Something triggered me this week- it shook how I show up in my work. It felt like my whole way of doing business was being questioned. And honestly? That’s fine. Not everyone is going to understand what I do or how I do it. They’re not meant to.

As a 6/2 in Human Design, I’m here to lead from vision, not from consensus. The 6 line challenges what’s always been done. So discomfort is often a clue that I’m on the right path.

The trigger came because I asked for feedback - but on reflection, what I was really doing was asking for permission. And I didn’t need to. That old habit of seeking validation? Leftover from years in corporate where I always felt like an outsider. The response I was met with therefore was partly due to how I'd asked for the feedback.

No more. This week reminded me: I know what I’m here to do. And I don’t need a green light from anyone else.

My question for you is:

Where are you asking for permission for something you know that if you couldn't fail, you'd just do?!

Been Enjoying my free tips in these emails?

Come join Unscroll Your Life (free) for more!

A 5-day Soul Reset to remember who you really are beneath the noise

This isn’t just another course. It’s a pause. A reckoning. A return.

Unscroll Your Life is for women in their Power Pause – that sacred in-between space where the old no longer fits, and the new hasn’t fully arrived. Whether you’ve stepped away from a career, your children need you less, or you just know something’s shifting… this is your moment. It's time to own it.

Inside, you’ll:

⭐️ Get instant access to your pre-work so you can start reconnecting with your true self ‘Your Soul Spark’ right away

⭐️ Explore your Human Design, Astrology and Priestess Numerology to understand the soul blueprint you came here with

⭐️ Map the real story of your life – the one that honours how far you’ve come, what you’ve overcome, and what’s calling you now

⭐️ Experience clarity on who you actually are – not the version shaped by scrolling, comparison or shoulds

⭐️ Reignite your creativity, self-trust and voice so you can start making aligned decisions and stop waiting for the perfect plan

⭐️ Be supported by a Telegram group with live Q&As 12-16th May, competitions and a chance to win a free place for The Reclamation Week worth £222

You’re not broken. You’re just in a metamorphosis phase.

Full info here

Access the pre-work portal instantly here:

JUMP RIGHT IN

And Finally… pick a card

When I'm out and about and don't have access to all my oracle card decks, I use a few different online card generators - just now I pulled The Tower which feels apt - “surrender to the storm”. Pull a card for yourself here - let me know if what you get resonates!

How to go deeper:

New short course just £22.22 on pre-sale:

The Spiral Path: Navigating Your 7 Year Evolution. From Survival to Sovereignty

My Membership The Soul Constellation Collective:

A few Founding Members spots left at £22 a month

New: The Vortex

This isn't another course. It's a recalibration

New: The Oracle Within

Create your own oracle deck!

Hey All!

Soul Psychology Notes: 4th May 2025:

This week’s feeling - Building Foundations with freedom at the heart.

This week just past I had a major panic moment. I had created a plan for my work that was beginning to feel like a cage. I forgot that Human Design and Astrology charts show I am almost completely feminine energy - double Pisces and three of my four arrows pointing right in HD means that strict schedules and plans simply don't work for me. I need freedom in the moment to choose.

I need to be OK with creating a plan as a way to get started but then not beating myself up for deviating from it as I feel called. As soon as I realised I could totally change my plan, that horrible caged feeling went away. It was something I always struggled with in my years in the corporate world.

The result of this is I've pushed back the start date of my 5 day experience / course ‘Unscroll Your Life’ by 2 weeks to the 12th May.

My question for you is:

Where are you forcing yourself to stick to a plan because you feel bad for changing it? What if you just allowed yourself the freedom to change your mind and change the plan?

Where you are in your 7-year cycles? (Free Guide & AI prompt)

⭐️ As you may know, I work with cycles - they take many forms. One of the key ones is the 7 year cycle. It starts the day you are born so it's easy to calculate which year you are in.

⭐️ I've created a brief free guide you can access here

⭐️ Note which: Chakra, Element, Energy type and colour is connected with your current year which runs from birthday to birthday

AI Prompt

If you want to play with this in chat GPT, you can use this prompt:

"Hey! Can you tell me about my energy right now, taking into account that in 7 year cycles, I'm in my XXXX cycle which is the XXXX year of the cycle. The connections with this mean a focus on my XXXX Chakra, the colour XXXX and XXXX within my physical body.

Also bear in mind I'm a XXXX in human design

Please include a list of what I could lean into, and some journal prompts."

Let me know how you get on! As always be discerning with what Chat GPT suggests and ask further questions if anything doesn't land for you.

What I'm Learning

I have just joined ‘Vision Weaver’ working with the lovely Vanessa Long - we are talking about the difference between Patriarchy OS (operating system) and Radiance OS… how it's not about a ‘Success Code’ as a patch fix, but about a complete system reboot with new software. It's deep and necessary work. Vanessa has a similar numerology chart to me so I feel we have a lot of shared values / and similar energy!

My fav apps at the moment (ADHD friendly)

(Not affiliate links, just genuine recommendations)

HOOP: If you've often said in a meeting you'll do something and then realised a few days afterwards you've completely forgotten to do said thing, this app is great. There is a cost (£16/month) but basically it captures all your tasks from your calls and your emails and puts into a list for you. This has been so useful!

Tidycal: I get annoyed paying for Calendly month to month given I use it sporadically (schedule management so not my thing as someone with ADHD and a line 2 in Human Design!) so when I found out there is just a one-time fee of $39 for Tidycal and it does the same thing, it was a no-brainer Wanted to pass this on as I know the monthly cost of all the subscriptions adds up!

Endel App I find it very hard to work in complete silence. This app is great for soothing background noise and ‘soundscapes’. The more you use it, the more it learns what vibes you like! It also has an app for Mac laptops which is handy.

I hope you can join for my new experience which starts on the 12th of May:

A 5-day sanctuary for your soul to stretch, speak, and start again.

Join 104 other women already registered

How to go deeper:

New short course just £22.22 on pre-sale:

The Spiral Path: Navigating Your 7 Year Evolution. From Survival to Sovereignty

My Membership The Soul Constellation Collective:

A few Founding Members spots left at £22 a month

New: The Vortex

This isn't another course. It's a recalibration

New: The Oracle Within

Create your own oracle deck!

These last few weeks have been challenging - and I can’t exactly put my finger on why. Possibly the major transit of Neptune into Aries after 14 years in Pisces… a big shift. Possibly the gnarly Saturn / Natal Sun transits I’ve had (fellow Pisces you’ll also have experienced this). Possibly the start of a new 7 year cycle as I turned 42.

Whatever it is, I’ve felt quite low, slow, and like I just needed to rest a lot. Which also felt odd as normally this time of year here with spring fully in bloom is like ‘go time’.

Our conditioning makes it hard to recognise rest as necessary and fruitful. We always feel we “should” be DOING all the things. All the messaging around us now even from the ‘seasonal living’ crew is that now is the time to take action… but for me right now, it’s about sporadic bursts and rests. My Conscious Sun (life’s work) in Gene Keys is Gate 22 which is all about compassion, and that starts with self-compassion and gently asking the inner critic to take a back seat and pipe down.

Learning to receive…

It feels uncomfortable to share this, but I am allowing my husband to support me financially at the moment. I am not #bossbabe or #mumboss at the moment. I am not hitting my 10k months (nor do I need to). I am not posting consistently. I am not sure what my plan is for the rest of the year yet. And instead of striving to ‘get there’ it’s coming through loud and clear that I just need to rest and allow myself grace and space. To allow others to support me with no sense of ‘debt’ about it. Just to receive it. It feels like I need to learn to be illogical. Like the more I fully meet myself where I am at and rest, the more abundant I’ll be. Rather than striving to do more in order to receive. Yet the patterns of behaviour are so deep it’s hard to just stop and allow.

So this is what I wrote right after a meditation that I felt called to share…

The Sacred Pause

You need to be broken

to grow.

There must be death

for anything new

to be born.

The ash left behind

nourishes

what is coming.

Release.

Surrender.

Nothing

is ever truly lost.

Through letting go,

everything

arrives.

Your only task

is to be

who you are -

no one else

can do that.

Treat life

as a playground,

a quiet experiment.

Be curious.

Be open.

You are worthy

simply by

being here.

Nothing more

is needed.

Some seasons

stretch into stillness.

Let them.

The further the arrow

is pulled back,

the greater its flight.

Rest

in the tension.

Breathe

in the silence.

Let go

of the noise.

You will soon fly

beyond

what you’ve known.

The distance

is waiting -

calm,

open,

still.

This is not a race.

This is not a rush.

This

is the sacred pause.

When fully embraced,

The broken will heal the broken.

Leave a comment