Temperance gives off a peaceful vibe. It’s all about finding balance, being moderate, keeping things in harmony, and having a little patience. Everything just flows together the way it should.

It’s one of those tarot cards that’s hard to argue against—who doesn’t want a little balance in their life? But I think we’ve turned the idea of balance into something it was never supposed to be—just another thing to strive for.

We’re Constantly Told to Find Balance

You know, you constantly hear about the importance of work-life balance, but it does not end there. You hear to find balance with these:

• Chill relationships

• Healthy eating

• Managing emotions

• Parenting without the stress

• Finding time for spirituality

We’re all supposed to work our tails off, hit the gym, eat right, keep in touch with friends, care for our loved ones, tidy up our spaces, handle our money, chase our dreams, look after our health, catch a solid eight hours of sleep, and somehow squeeze in some “me time.”

And we’re meant to do all this while staying calm and feeling grateful. Seems doable, right? Except there are only 24 hours in a day.

Some Seasons of Life Aren’t Balanced

This is the part I wish we could talk about more. Life can feel really off-balance sometimes.

Take a new parent, for example. They might be completely focused on their baby for months.

Or think about someone launching a business who ends up pouring all their energy into work and ignoring everything else.

Then there are people caring for aging parents who barely have any time for themselves.

Someone going through grief? Managing day-to-day stuff can be a real struggle.

And don’t forget about those facing financial struggles, working way more hours than they’d like.

Plus, anyone dealing with a family crisis might push everything else aside.

None of these situations seem super balanced, right? But that doesn’t mean they’re doing things wrong. Sometimes, it makes sense to lean into that imbalance because it’s just how life goes.

Balance Isn’t Always 50/50

This is where the idea of Temperance gets really interesting. If you take a closer look at the card, you’ll notice the figure pouring liquid from one cup into another. There’s a sense of movement there—it’s all about adjusting and experimenting. Nothing is static.

Temperance isn’t just about two identical cups sitting on a shelf; it’s more of a process that’s always in motion. Maybe that’s what balance really means—not striving for equal parts, but figuring out how to make adjustments.

You Don’t Have to Give Everything Equal Attention

This idea also applies to relationships. We love to think that healthy relationships are all about that 50/50 split, but that’s rarely the case. Sometimes one person might handle 70% of the workload because the other is going through a rough patch. Then, the roles might flip later on.

You can see this dynamic in friendships, families, and life in general. The problem isn’t really about a temporary imbalance. It gets concerning when that imbalance turns permanent, and one person ends up carrying all the responsibilities. That’s when temperance goes from being flexible to needing to set some boundaries.

Balance Can Become Another Form of Toxic Positivity

This is where wellness culture often loses me. You hear things like:

“Feeling overwhelmed? Just find balance.”

“Exhausted? Practice self-care.”

“Burned out? Set better boundaries.”

While these tips aren’t totally off base, they sometimes miss the real issues causing the problems. You can’t meditate your way into more hours in your day. A bubble bath won’t redistribute caregiving responsibilities, and a gratitude journal won’t lighten your workload.

Sometimes, it’s not about finding balance; it’s that your current circumstances just don’t allow for much balance at all.

Moderation Isn’t Always the Answer

Temperance usually points to moderation, and while that’s generally good advice, not everything needs a balanced approach. Sometimes, it’s important to let something go entirely.

You definitely don’t want a little bit of manipulation, disrespect, or exploitation in your life. There’s no reason to meet halfway between your boundaries and someone else’s refusal to respect them. In some cases, the healthiest choice is to have none of it. Temperance is about knowing what’s best for you, not just going along to get along.

Survival Brings Its Own Imbalance

This ties into the idea that Survival Isn’t a Victory. When you’re just trying to get by, finding balance isn’t really a big deal. You’re going to allocate your time, energy, and resources where they’re most needed, often focusing on urgent issues for a long time.

The real risk comes after that. After organizing your life around survival for so long, you might forget you have the power to shift your resources again. You may keep giving everything to everyone because it’s the habit you formed in survival mode.

Maybe Temperance Means Recalibrating

Instead of thinking of temperance as a strict call for balance, what if you viewed it as a question: “Does how I’m spending my time still make sense?”

Maybe something that got 80 percent of your energy five years ago only needs 20 percent now. Or perhaps you’ve ignored something important that now needs more of your focus, while something you’ve been clinging to warrants zero attention.

Temperance isn’t about achieving perfect balance; it’s about making adjustments as needed.

You’re Free to Change the Recipe

We often overlook that what worked for us before doesn’t have to stay the same. Your priorities at 25 don’t have to be the same at 50. What success looks like can evolve, just like your relationships, dreams, and beliefs.

It’s perfectly okay to realize that something you once wanted isn’t worth the effort anymore. This shift isn’t about being inconsistent; it’s just a part of growing. Think of temperance as a bit of alchemy, where experimenting is key.

What Temperance Brings to the Table

Temperance isn’t about finding flawless balance or endless compromise. Rather, it offers:

• Adjustment

• Discernment

• Flexibility

• Patience

• Integration

• The readiness to recalibrate

A balanced life isn’t just about everything getting equal attention; it’s about deciding which parts of your life deserve your focus at any given time.

Final Thought

Temperance doesn’t ask: “Is everything balanced?”

It’s really about: “Does the balance you’ve got still work for your life?”

Sometimes things tilt one way because of circumstances or survival mode. What matters is that you remember you’re allowed to adjust when things change. You don’t have to chase perfect balance; just stop relying on yesterday’s survival tactics as your go-to plan today.

If you’re curious about digging into topics beyond typical tarot—like survival, identity, caregiving, boundaries, resilience, and the messy parts that don’t fit into neat self-help phrases—I talk about these themes on The Grey Area Unfiltered, with new episodes dropping every Tuesday at 12 PM ET.

These concepts are also at the heart of my upcoming book, Survival Isn’t a Victory (launching sometime in 2027). Just because life feels a bit out of whack doesn’t mean you’re failing; sometimes, it’s just a sign that life has been demanding too much from one part of you.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

Firstly, sorry I have been silent for the last few weeks on this publication. But I am back at it and let’s discuss The Chariot tarot card today. The Chariot is one of those tarot cards that people love to see. It is about:

• Victory

• Determination

• Willpower

• Forward movement

• Take control

• Push through

• You’ve got this

It’s like someone cheering you on with motivational quotes, and honestly, sometimes that’s exactly what we need.

But there’s another side to The Chariot that doesn’t get enough attention. Sometimes, forcing yourself to keep going isn’t a sign of strength; it might just be stubbornness.

Our Thing with Perseverance

From a young age, we’re programmed to think that quitting is a no-go.

“Winners don’t quit.”

“Successful people keep grinding.”

“If you want something, work harder for it.”

“Push through the pain.”

“Don’t give up.”

While there’s definitely value in sticking with it as many good things take time and effort, this obsession can get a bit scary. We’ve turned perseverance into some kind of moral badge of honor, but sometimes quitting is actually the right call.

Not Everything Can Be Fixed with More Effort

This might be a hard pill to swallow: you can give it your all and still not get where you want to be.

• You can bust your butt at work and still see your business crash.

• You can pour your heart into a relationship and watch it fall apart.

• You can follow all the advice and still not hit your goals.

• You can fight for something that’s just out of your control.

This isn’t negativity; it’s just the way things are. Hard work can affect outcomes, but it doesn’t guarantee success.

The Chariot Needs Direction

Think about The Chariot’s imagery. The charioteer isn’t just racing forward; he’s also guiding opposing forces. This matters because determination without direction can wear you out.

You can end up sprinting in the wrong direction for years, pouring effort into something that hasn’t worked in ages. The longer you stick with it, the harder it feels to stop, making you keep pushing—not because it’s working, but simply because you’ve invested so much time.

Confusing Endurance with Success

Our culture loves endurance. How is that? Here is how it is:

• We admire the employee who’s clocking in sixty-hour weeks.

• We respect the caregiver who never asks for a hand.

• We look up to the person who stays stuck in a tough spot for ages.

• We cheer on the entrepreneur who sacrifices everything for their dream.

We see these folks and think, “Wow, you’re so strong.” But just enduring doesn’t mean a situation is healthy. Sometimes it shows commitment, while other times, it just means being stuck. Those aren’t the same thing.

The Sunk Cost Trap

Walking away from something often gets trickier the longer you’ve been in it. You put in time, cash, energy, reputation, and sometimes even part of who you are. So, you think, “I can’t back out now. Look at all I’ve already done.”

But that past investment is history. The real question is what pushing forward will cost you, which is a whole different calculation. The Chariot challenges you to think about whether you’re steering the journey or if it’s controlling you.

Survival Teaches Us to Keep Going

When you’ve faced tough situations, just pushing through can become second nature. You learn to tackle today, get through tomorrow, and deal with the next crisis. You keep functioning, fixing problems, and keeping everyone else afloat. As a result, you might get really good at enduring challenges—perhaps too good.

The ability to survive almost anything can make it hard to see when it’s time to stop.

“I Can Handle It” Isn’t Always Enough

This belief can be a trap for those who are naturally strong. “I can handle it.” Sure, you can probably take on an impossible workload, a toxic relationship, or the burden of everyone relying on you.

But here’s the key question that The Chariot nudges us to think about: Why should you have to?

Just because you can manage something doesn’t mean you should.

Where This Connects to My Book

This idea is at the heart of my book, Survival Isn’t Victory. We tend to celebrate people for just making it through. For hanging in there and for somehow pushing through tough times that would break most of us.

But just surviving doesn’t mean things are okay. Sometimes, the skills that got us through become the very things that hold us back from making a change in our lives.

Like:

• Sticking it out no matter what

• Putting others first all the time

• Being super independent

• Putting up with way too much

At some point, survival needs to become more than just getting by.

Maybe Victory Means Changing Things Up

This is how I see The Chariot—it really resonates with me. Victory doesn’t always mean hitting a specific goal. Sometimes, it’s about realizing you want to go in a different direction altogether. This could mean:

• Switching careers

• Shutting down a business

• Ending a friendship

• Changing your beliefs

• Letting go of a goal that no longer fits

It’s about saying, “This just isn’t working anymore.” That’s not failure; that’s just learning.

What The Chariot Actually Offers

It doesn’t promise endless hustle, or push for blind determination. Also, it does not say that willpower solves everything. Instead, it gives you:

• Direction

• Control

• Discipline

• Good judgment

• The ability to switch things up

Being in the driver’s seat doesn’t mean pushing yourself ahead no matter what. Sometimes, it means knowing when it’s time to change lanes.

Final Thought

The Chariot isn’t just asking, “How badly do you want this?” It’s also asking, “What is sticking with this costing you?” There are definitely things worth fighting for.

There are things we can endure. And there are things we keep pushing for just because no one told us we could give up. You don’t always need more determination. Sometimes, you just need a new goal.

If you want to dive into topics beyond the usual tarot discussions—like survival, resilience, self-identity, and the messy areas in our stories—I dig into all that on my podcast, The Grey Area Unfiltered, with new episodes every Tuesday at 12 PM ET.

These themes are central to my upcoming book, Survival Isn’t Victory. Because sometimes, just making it through shows how strong you are. And at times, true strength is realizing you’ve endured enough.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

The Hierophant is one of those tarot cards that people often misunderstand. A lot of guidebooks talk about it in terms of tradition, institutions, religion, teachers, rules, and authority.

While that’s not wrong, it doesn’t quite cover the whole picture. The Hierophant isn’t really questioning if authority is there; he’s more focused on what you’re going to do with it.

We All Learn from Someone

No one really starts out with their own ideas. As kids, we pick up beliefs from our parents. Then, when we’re in school, we learn from teachers.

When we become adults, we look up to experts, mentors, authors, spiritual leaders, influencers, and podcasts. That’s totally normal; everyone starts by borrowing wisdom from others.

The issue comes up when that borrowed wisdom turns into something we think we can’t question.

There’s a Difference Between Learning and Following

Learning opens up your mind, while just going along with what someone says shuts it down. That’s why I think The Hierophant should be seen in a more balanced way than usual.

A good teacher doesn’t just create followers; they help people think for themselves. If someone insists that their way is the only way, they’ve stopped teaching and started controlling.

The Comfort of Certainty

A big reason people like to follow authority is that it feels safer to have someone else handle the answers. It’s nice to think that all you have to do is stick to the plan, trust the experts, and not ask too many questions.

While that can be pretty comforting, it can also hold you back. Remember, every system, tradition, and teacher is made up of people, and people can mess up just like anyone else.

Questioning Isn’t the Same as Rejecting

A lot of discussions get off track here. People often think that if you question something, you must be totally against it. That’s not the case at all. Asking questions doesn’t mean you’re just trying to stir up trouble; it comes from a place of curiosity and wanting to understand better.

You can appreciate someone’s experience while still digging into tough questions. Actually, that’s usually how we learn and grow.

The Hierophant Reversed

I really connect with The Hierophant reversed. It’s not that I’m against tradition or think every authority figure is off base, but I’ve realized that wisdom can come from life experiences, not just school.

Questioning the usual way of thinking isn’t always about being arrogant; sometimes it just shows you have integrity. The Hierophant reversed reminds me that thinking for yourself can come with a cost.

People might misunderstand or disagree with you, and some might even write you off, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong.

The Cost of Thinking for Yourself

History has plenty of folks who’ve pushed back against popular beliefs. Some ended up being right, while others weren’t—that’s just part of it. Thinking for yourself doesn’t mean you’ll always get it right; it just shows you’re willing to look at the evidence instead of letting someone else do the thinking for you.

It sounds easier than it is, though, because independent thought comes with its own set of responsibilities. If you’re ready to question authority, you also need to be up for questioning yourself.

Where This Connects to My Book

One idea in Survival Isn’t a Victory is that tough experiences often make us rethink the stories we’ve accepted without even noticing—like the ones about strength, success, healing, family, identity, and even what it really means to survive.

The Hierophant encourages us to look at these stories, not because every belief is wrong, but because our beliefs should be made intentionally, rather than just handed down to us.

What The Hierophant Actually Offers

The Hierophant isn’t about blindly following rules, constantly rebelling, or being cynical. Instead, he’s all about:

• Wisdom

• Good judgment

• Traditions that are worth a closer look

• Having the guts to ask important questions

• The humility to keep learning

He reminds us that it’s not about rejecting authority; it’s about engaging with it thoughtfully.

Final Thought

The Hierophant doesn’t just want to know, “Who are you following?” He’s more interested in, “Have you ever asked why?” Because true wisdom isn’t about repeating what we’ve been taught; it’s about being open to finding the truth—even if it means questioning our long-held beliefs.

If you’re into diving deeper into topics beyond traditional tarot—like truth, authority, identity, survival, and the messy complexities in life—check out The Grey Area Unfiltered. I drop new podcast episodes every Tuesday at 12 PM ET. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can say isn’t, “I know.” It’s, “I’m ready to question what I think I know.”

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

A lot of modern spiritual practices have really embraced The Magician tarot card. If you mention this card nowadays, you’ll probably hear terms like:

• Manifestation

• Abundance

• High vibes

• Law of Attraction

• Positive thinking

• Vision boards

It seems like people think that just wishing really hard is all it takes to change your life. But I feel like we’ve missed the point with The Magician. He’s not telling you to just hope for something; he’s pushing you to actually make it happen.

The Tools Are Already on the Table

Take a closer look at The Magician card. He’s not just hanging around in some empty space waiting for the universe to drop the things he wants in his lap.

Instead, he’s already got all the tools he needs right there with him. The wand stands for willpower and intention, and the cup represents feelings and intuition.

The sword is all about clear thinking and making decisions, and the pentacle covers the material stuff and practicality.

Everything you need to kick off your journey is already at your fingertips. The key question isn’t whether you have enough resources; it’s really about whether you’re ready to use what you’ve got.

Potential Means Nothing Without Action

In our culture, we often blow the idea of potential way out of proportion.

People tend to say things like:

• “You have so much potential.”

• “Your business has potential.”

• “Your relationship has potential.”

• “Your career has potential.”

But honestly, so what?

Potential isn’t an achievement. It’s just a hint of what could happen. The real magic isn’t in what someone might reach; it’s in them making those dreams come true.

We Give Away More Power Than We Realize

One of life’s simplest traps is thinking that someone else has all the answers we need.

We’re often on the lookout for:

• The perfect teacher.

• The perfect coach.

• The perfect partner.

• The perfect political leader.

• The perfect spiritual guru.

• The perfect tarot reader.

We start this search for someone who can give us exactly the guidance we’re looking for. But The Magician reminds us to look right in front of us.

All the tools and resources we need are already there. So, what are you waiting for?

Manifestation Can Become Magical Avoidance

Modern spiritual practices sometimes get it a bit wrong.

There’s nothing bad about having hope, setting goals, or dreaming up a better future. But if hope isn’t backed up by action, it just turns into daydreaming. Positive thinking alone won’t write your novel, fix that broken relationship, build the business you envision, or push you to make that tough call.

The Magician doesn’t wait around for the universe to do its thing. He’s already out there making it happen.

Responsibility Isn’t the Same as Blame

When we talk about responsibility, it’s easy to confuse it with blame, but they aren’t the same thing at all. You’re not to blame for everything that happens in your life. Sometimes, life just isn’t fair. People might let you down, things can change unexpectedly, chances can disappear, and loss can hit you out of nowhere.

Instead of getting stuck on the question of “What caused this?” think like The Magician and ask yourself, “What can I create from this point on?” That little change in how we ask questions can completely shift our outlook.

Creation Is Messy

A lot of people like to think of creativity as this smooth ride full of sudden bursts of inspiration. But really, it’s mostly about sticking with it and not giving up.

Just think about it: books go through tons of rewrites. Businesses have to keep adjusting. Relationships need constant care and effort. Skills are built through regular practice and fine-tuning.

The Magician isn’t just pulling off tricks; he’s putting in the work to sharpen his skills, time after time.

Where This Connects to My Book

In my book, Survival Isn’t a Victory, I delve into how going through tough times can make us feel like we’ve lost control over our lives.

Sometimes, that feeling is spot on. But eventually, something really important clicks in our minds.

Agency.

It’s not about changing what’s already happened, but knowing we still have the power to shape what comes next. That realization? That’s where the real magic happens.

What The Magician Actually Offers

He doesn’t promise:

• Quick fixes.

• Instant results.

• Wishful thinking.

Instead, he offers:

• Personal agency.

• Focused action.

• Resourcefulness.

• Creativity.

• A sense of responsibility without the weight of self-blame.

The Magician reminds us that real change starts not with fanciful wishes but with thoughtful choices.

Final Thought

The Magician doesn’t ask:

“What are you hoping for?”

He asks something way more important:

“What are you going to create with what you already have?”

True magic isn’t found in waiting for everything to change. It’s about realizing that you’ve always had more power than you thought.

If you’re up for some discussions that go beyond regular tarot—touching on themes like truth, responsibility, survival, and identity—I’d love for you to join me on The Grey Area Unfiltered. New episodes drop every Tuesday at 12 PM ET.

Remember, sometimes the biggest magic isn’t about transforming the world. It’s about believing you can change your spot in it.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

The Fool card in tarot often gets a bad rap and isn’t really understood well. When people hear its name, they might picture someone who is:

• Clueless, lacking life experience.

• Immature, caught up in youthful excitement.

• Carefree, seemingly ignoring the consequences of their choices.

• Reckless, jumping into situations that could end badly.

• About to make a big mistake.

But when I look at this card, I see something totally different. It represents someone who has the unique courage to face a truth that a lot of us avoid: “I don’t know.”

We Revered Certainty

In our world, people really seem to admire certainty. Those who share their opinions with strong confidence often grab our attention and respect. When someone speaks with complete assurance, they’re often seen as an expert—someone who knows all the answers while others are just left asking questions.

But admitting that you’re uncertain is often seen as a weakness.

While certainty can feel nice and secure, it also has a darker side. It can block us from asking more questions and exploring what’s around us. When we start to think we have all the answers, it can put a stop to our learning journey.

The Fool Embodies Discovery, Not Assuredness

What makes The Fool stand out is his courage to embrace the unknown. He moves forward not because he has all the answers but because he’s driven by a strong desire to find them.

There’s an important difference here. A lot of us tend to hold back, waiting until we feel ready, skilled, or sure of ourselves. In my opinion, The Fool teaches us something crucial: you don’t need to have all the wisdom before you start your journey; that wisdom actually comes from taking that first step.

Embracing the Beginner’s Mind Can Be Daunting

No one relishes the feeling of being inexperienced. We tend to gravitate towards competence, mastery, and expertise. Yet, we mustn’t forget that even the most seasoned experts once stood at the threshold of their journeys, asking questions that might have seemed obvious to others.

The Fool serves as a poignant reminder that curiosity, in its raw form, often appears awkward and uncomfortable. He entreats us to prioritize genuine learning over the facade of intelligence. Making that exchange demands more effort than it may seem at first glance.

The Constraints of Certainty

This idea goes beyond tarot and seeps into our daily lives. Politics, religion, relationships, parenting, and jobs often turn into arenas for proving who’s right. People can get so stuck on their need to be correct that they lose their sense of curiosity.

They end up defending beliefs they don’t even truly hold anymore, recycling ideas they’ve never questioned, and confusing rigid certainty with real wisdom. When we take a moment to think, The Fool nudges us to consider:

“When was the last time you changed your mind?”

For a lot of people, that answer might stretch back a few years.

The Safety of Certainty as a Survival Mechanism

After going through tough times, wanting certainty can feel like a lifeline—something stable and predictable. We often find comfort in our usual routines, letting caution take charge and avoiding risks when we can.

This makes total sense; it’s a natural survival instinct. But sometimes, the very things that keep us going can become too rigid, shutting down our curiosity and sense of adventure.

When we’re really afraid of the unknown, we might end up sticking to what we know, missing out on other possibilities. The Fool isn’t trying to push you into making reckless choices; he’s just asking if your need for certainty has turned into a bit of a cage that holds you back.

The Audacity of Curiosity

To really embrace curiosity, you need to have a good dose of humility. It’s all about being open enough to admit things like:

• “I might be wrong.”

• “I don’t completely understand this yet.”

• “Maybe there’s another way to look at it.”

Realizing that changing how you think can cost you things like pride, identity, fitting in, or even your reputation can be pretty tough. But remember, every major breakthrough starts with someone being brave enough to ask the questions that others might avoid.

Connecting to My Book

In my book, Survival Isn’t a Victory, I explore how going through tough times makes us hold on tight to what we know, since uncertainty can feel really scary. But there comes a point when our need to stay safe emotionally stops us from truly breaking free.

The Fool represents that key moment—not because he has all the answers, but because he understands that doing nothing is still a choice.

What The Fool Truly Represents

The Fool isn’t about being reckless or blindly optimistic. Instead, he brings us some really valuable lessons:

• Curiosity is better than certainty

• Openness beats ego

• Embracing possibility is more powerful than fear

• Humility trumps pretending to know it all

In a world that often praises confidence, this archetype shows us a brave approach to life.

A Final Reflection

The Fool doesn’t put you on the spot with:

“Are you ready?”

Instead, he wants to know:

“Are you still curious?”

It’s when we think we know it all that our growth stalls. The most amazing journeys usually start from a place of curiosity, not with a firm sense of certainty. They kick off with questions that encourage us to delve into the unknown.

If you want to explore conversations beyond traditional tarot—curiosity, identity, survival, truth, and the grey areas that challenge our assumptions—I explore those ideas on The Grey Area Unfiltered, with new podcast episodes every Tuesday at 12 PM ET.

Sometimes the wisest person in the room is the one who’s still willing to ask questions.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

No tarot card freaks people out quite like Death. As soon as it shows up, tension fills the air. People often wonder, “Does this mean someone’s dying?”

Usually, the answer is no.

Then the pendulum swings the other way. People scramble to reassure you. They say things like:

• ”It just means transformation!”

• ”It’s a fresh start!”

• ”Don’t sweat it—amazing things are coming!”

But honestly, I think that view skips over the toughest part of the card. Death isn’t just about change. It’s about dealing with grief.

Every Beginning Buries Something

We really enjoy diving into the idea of starting new chapters in life—like diving into jobs that get us excited, building relationships that make us feel connected, exploring new sides of ourselves, and chasing after opportunities that light our passions.

But it’s important to remember that every new beginning comes with a goodbye. Endings aren’t always fun; sometimes they’re really tough.

Even if we’re moving on from something toxic, we’re still letting go of a part of our past that we’re used to.

We Grieve More Than People

When most folks think about grief, death usually comes to mind.

But grief is a lot more widespread than that.

We grieve:

• The career we thought we’d land

• The marriage we dreamed of

• The healthy body we used to have

• The childhood we missed out on

• The person we thought we’d turn into

• The future we expected that just didn’t happen

None of those losses get a funeral, but they can hurt just as much.

The Identity That No Longer Fits

The Death card really hits home for a lot of us. As we go through life, we spend years crafting who we are, often sticking to labels that give us meaning and a sense of belonging.

We might say, “I’m the caregiver,” finding our worth in how well we look after others.

Or, “I’m the successful one,” tying our value to our achievements and accolades.

Maybe we think, “I’m the people pleaser,” bending over backward to make sure everyone else is happy.

We could claim, “I’m the fixer,” getting our fulfillment from helping those in trouble.

Or we might call ourselves, “I’m the strong one,” carrying heavy loads with determination, even when it takes a toll on us.

Then, out of nowhere, life nudges us to step into a new version of ourselves.

This change isn’t about failing or not being enough; it’s more about realizing that the identities we once had just don’t fit anymore.

When this transformation hits, it can feel like we’re losing a part of who we are, and it brings up a wave of sadness as we say goodbye to that old self.

That’s what it is—a heartfelt farewell to a version of us that’s no longer right, kicking off a pretty daunting journey toward figuring out who we’ll become next.

We Cling to Old Versions of Ourselves

Change often seems more intimidating not because of the unknown that lies ahead, but because we’re so aware of what we’re leaving behind. Even identities that bring us pain can feel like a snug, if stifling, blanket. They’re comfortable in their familiar ways, like that old path we all know too well.

These identities give us some predictability in a chaotic world, helping us make sense of our experiences and feelings.

Then there’s the Death card, which stands for transformation and raises a pretty unsettling question:

Who do you become when you let go of the person you’ve been fighting to survive for so long?

This isn’t an easy question to tackle. It digs deep into who we are and forces us to face our fears and insecurities. A lot of people end up avoiding this question, often spending their whole lives dodging the uncomfortable truths it brings up.

We Celebrate Transformation Too Quickly

One thing about modern spirituality that really gets to me is how everyone’s obsessed with the butterfly. People rave about how beautiful it is when a butterfly flies, its bright colors, and how gracefully it moves.

But no one really talks about the complicated journey that happens inside the chrysalis. Sure, we hear all the time about reinvention, and people love sharing stories of transformation like they’re awards.

But they usually skip over the messy emotions that come with such a big change. Like the confusion that makes you question everything you thought you knew. Or the loneliness that creeps in during those quiet moments, weighing you down.

Then there’s the uncertainty that looms over you, making every next step feel risky. And let’s not forget the grief that hits when you realize you have to let go of who you were to welcome who you might become.

These days, transformation is treated like it’s some kind of art piece, all pretty and inspiring. But the truth about real transformation? It often feels anything but beautiful when you’re right in the thick of it.

It’s a messy ride with surprises at every turn. Disorientation can feel like your new normal, blurring your sense of direction. In those lonely times, it feels like you’re all alone in this huge sea of change.

And sometimes, it takes years for the fog to lift and for you to really get what’s shifted inside you.

Where This Connects to Survival

One of the main ideas in my upcoming book, Survival Isn’t a Victory, is that just surviving something doesn’t mean you’ve really moved on from it.

A lot of people survive... but then they keep living like the danger is still there. They hold onto their defenses. stay on high alert, and cling to the identity that survival forced upon them.

The Death card prompts you to consider if that identity is still doing you any good...

Or is it just holding you back from truly living.

What Death Really Means

It’s not about easy changes, instant healing, or guaranteed happiness.

What it really offers is something tougher. It gives you the green light to stop being the person you had to become in order to survive. And that can be scary.

Because sometimes, that survival identity takes over our whole sense of self.

Death isn’t asking: “What are you losing?” It’s asking: “What are you still dragging along that doesn’t belong in your life anymore?”

Because often, the toughest goodbye isn’t to someone else. It’s letting go of the version of yourself that kept you alive long enough to become who you’re meant to be next.

And maybe that’s the biggest twist of the Death card. The end isn’t the focus. It’s about making space for what comes next.

If you’re interested in diving into topics beyond traditional tarot—like survival, identity, grief, resilience, and the tough truths that shape us—I cover these on The Grey Area Unfiltered, with new podcast episodes dropping every Tuesday at 12 PM ET.

Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do isn’t starting over. It’s allowing something old to finish.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

The Hanged Man is a card that often gives off a vibe of discomfort. It’s not really something people draw with excitement or hope. Instead, it symbolizes a period of delays and waiting, almost like being stuck in a holding pattern where nothing seems to move forward. In our fast-paced world that values non-stop hustle, this card can spark a lot of anxiety for many.

But honestly, The Hanged Man is about something deeper than just feeling trapped. It’s about embracing stillness, taking a moment to pause, and holding off on decisions until you have clearer insight. This card really pushes you to reflect and broaden your perspective before taking that next step.

We Worship Momentum

In today’s world, it feels like action is what really counts as success. We’re always pushed to create, improve, and work on every part of our lives.

The whole idea of “always be building” drives us to kick off new projects and chase after big goals, while “always be growing” keeps us focused on personal and professional development, evolving our skills and knowledge.

“Always be healing” reminds us that taking care of our emotional and mental health is important, so we need to focus on mending and refreshing ourselves. Then there’s “always be improving,” which suggests that we should endlessly strive for excellence in everything we do, whether it’s at work or in our relationships.

We end up stuck in this cycle where “doing something” defines our worth, leading us to think that if we aren’t constantly busy, we’re somehow falling behind. From a young age, we learn that progress means keeping busy—physically, emotionally, and intellectually. But life often throws curveballs our way. When we have to take a break, we might see it as a personal failure or a setback.

It’s important to realize that just because we’re moving doesn’t mean we’re actually making progress. Sometimes, motion is just that—activity without a real purpose. Genuine growth often needs us to pause, reflect, and have the guts to rest, which can lead to deeper understanding and meaningful change.

Not Every Delay Is a Detour

One common misconception about the Hanged Man tarot card is the idea that something has gone wrong or a bad event has happened. But that view doesn’t really capture what this card is all about.

Sure, sometimes things might take a surprising turn, but other times, it’s just a pause for some much-needed reflection and personal growth before you dive back into life.

What’s key to remember is that the change isn’t just about what’s happening in your outside world; it’s really more about shifting how you see things.

This card represents a moment to look inward—a stage where the outside world seems steady, but you’re experiencing some big changes on the inside.

You might not feel quite ready to jump back in, but it’s important to see that you’re definitely evolving, or at least getting close to it. This time of waiting isn’t just a dead zone; it’s actually a chance for growth and new insights.

Looking at the World Upside Down

The figure on the card isn’t upside down because they did something wrong or are going through a tough time. They’re flipped on purpose, giving us a chance to see things from a brand new angle. This change in perspective really matters.

We often spend years trying to force our reality to fit the story we’ve already made in our heads. But the Hanged Man is a reminder to look at things differently.

Think about it: maybe the way you see your situation is the part that needs to change. It’s not that your understanding is wrong, but you’ve just been looking at it from one side. It’s a nudge to open your mind to new ways of thinking and all the possibilities out there.

The Pressure to “Move On”

People often feel the need to give advice, thinking they’re being helpful. They say things like:

• “Move on.”

• “Get over it.”

• “Close the chapter.”

• “Everything happens for a reason.”

Even though these phrases usually come from a good place, they can feel like a heavy burden, pushing us to find closure before we’ve really processed what we’ve been through.

Enter The Hanged Man—a character who sees things differently. He’s hanging out in stillness, ignoring the pressure from others. He gets that gaining insight takes time; it’s a gradual journey. The Hanged Man waits it out, letting the confusion clear away, trusting that clarity will come when it’s meant to.

Survival Makes Waiting Feel Dangerous

A lot of people who have faced tough times can really relate to this feeling. After just trying to get by for so long, the idea of being still can feel pretty uneasy.

When you find yourself doing nothing... Does it mean you’re falling behind in the game of life? If you’re not busy fixing something... Are you, maybe, heading for failure?

If things aren’t moving forward... Are you wasting the precious time you have?

These nagging thoughts can swirl around in your head, creating an endless loop of worry.

But the hard truths of surviving can make us think that taking a break means being lazy, and waiting is seen as a weakness.

Yet, The Hanged Man offers a different take. In his calm, almost zen-like pose, he shows that being still can actually teach us a lot. It encourages us to take a step back and reflect rather than seeing it as a flaw.

Sometimes the Answer Is “Not Yet”

Yikes, I mean, we really don’t like feeling uncertain as we want clear moments. We’re all about finding resolutions, as we need that closure and aim for certainty.

But The Hanged Man isn’t about any of that. Instead, he gives us a really frustrating answer:

Not yet.

But think about this... How many bad decisions have we made because we couldn’t wait?

And, how many relationships did we jump into, only to find out they were wrong for us? Also, how many job offers did we rush to accept, just because we were anxious instead of thinking it through?

Last but not least, how many beliefs did we hold onto stubbornly, just because not knowing felt too tough to handle? Sometimes, real wisdom isn’t about rushing into decisions or acting on impulse. It often comes from being patient and holding back, giving us the chance to see what we couldn’t before, until the timing is just right.

What This Has to Do with My Book

In Survival Isn’t a Victory, one of the big things I explore is how survival brings this intense sense of urgency. When you’re just trying to make it through, everything feels super important and needs to be dealt with right away. Every challenge seems like it demands your attention, like there’s no time to waste.

But honestly, real personal growth doesn’t usually come from that constant rush. It often pops up during those quieter moments when you take a step back and reflect. By gaining some perspective, you can start to untangle all those experiences.

You might realize that the life you’ve been working so hard to get back—the one you thought would make you happy—might not even be what you really want anymore. In those moments of stillness, you can tap into deeper desires and goals that really match who you are now.

What The Hanged Man Actually Offers

The Hanged Man does not give you paralysis, failure, or just sitting around. It gives you:

• A new point of view

• The ability to let things go

• Patience

• Time to think

• The guts to embrace uncertainty

Sometimes, real change doesn’t happen when you switch things up in your life. It happens when you change how you see things.

Final Thought

The Hanged Man isn’t saying:

“Why aren’t you moving?”

He’s asking:

“Why are you so scared to hit pause?”

Because sometimes, being still doesn’t mean you’re not making progress. It’s often where true understanding begins.

If you want to delve deeper into these ideas beyond tarot—like survival, identity, perspective, and the stories we tell ourselves about moving forward—check out The Grey Area Unfiltered, with new podcast episodes every Tuesday at 12 PM ET.

Changing how you see things can change everything.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

When it comes to the tarot, the Justice card is all about wishful thinking. When it pops up in a reading, people often breathe a sigh of relief, their eyes lighting up with excitement.

“Finally, karma is coming,” they think, feeling a spark of hope.

“They’re going to get what they deserve,” they reassure themselves, imagining some kind of payback for those who’ve wronged them.

“The universe will make things right,” they declare, lost in the moment, believing that justice isn’t just something we want—it’s bound to happen.

But the truth is a bit more complicated. The Justice card isn’t about getting revenge or quick payback; it’s about understanding consequences—how actions lead to reactions.

These outcomes don’t always happen the way we expect or on our timeline. Finding balance can be a bit unpredictable and might show up in surprising ways, reminding us that justice has its own timing.

We Love the Idea of Cosmic Fairness

It’s comforting to think that, over time, life will balance itself out. The idea that good people will eventually get what they deserve, that those who cause harm will face the music, and that injustices will eventually be corrected gives us a sense of hope. It’s nice to believe that the struggles we’ve gone through haven’t gone unnoticed.

But the reality often tells a different story. Sometimes, we’re left with silence when we really need apologies, and real change feels far away for those who could use it the most.

There are times when people who have caused chaos not only carry on but actually seem to do just fine, leaving us feeling frustrated. This gap between what we hope for and what we see can be one of the toughest parts of life to deal with.

Life Isn’t a Courtroom

The Justice card often shows a more complicated and unsettling reality than we tend to acknowledge at first. Think about it for a second.

You’ve got the school bully, who terrorized the playground, growing up and apparently doing great—landing a solid job, starting a family, and living a life that looks picture-perfect from the outside.

Then there are those coworkers who manipulate everyone around them for their own benefit, climbing the corporate ladder and getting rewarded for their sneaky tactics.

Look at the dishonest business owner who bends the rules and plays fast and loose with ethics, raking in the money, while the honest and hardworking person gets laid off and is left questioning why life is so unfair.

And what about the dedicated parent who puts everything into their family, only to deal with chronic health issues that serve as a harsh reminder of all that sacrificing?

There are so many people trying to do the right thing but end up picking up the pieces of their lives after someone else’s careless choices cause chaos.

However, this doesn’t take away from the importance of kindness and integrity. It reveals a tough truth: life doesn’t always play out like a legal battle.

Consequences aren’t neatly packaged and handed out on a schedule for everyone to see and judge.

We all want a world where justice is straightforward; where good is rewarded and bad is punished. Sometimes that wish comes true, but a lot of the time, it leads to disappointment.

If we get stuck expecting perfect justice before moving on, we risk being emotionally chained to those who have hurt us.

The Justice card reminds us to separate our search for fairness from our need to keep living and thriving, no matter what’s going on around us.

Justice Doesn’t Promise a Happy Ending

This is another thing that often leads to misunderstandings about the card. Justice isn’t about making guarantees or promises; it’s more about a basic principle that guides our actions.

Every choice we make matters, and what we decide has significance. And the outcomes of those choices are important too. But it’s key to understand that consequences don’t always show up right away.

They can stay under the surface for a while. And when they finally do show up, they might come in ways we don’t immediately recognize.

For example, living a life filled with dishonesty can result in shallow connections that lack real depth or authenticity.

On the flip side, being unkind can keep someone from truly understanding trust in their relationships.

Many of these consequences go unnoticed by everyone else and are only clear to the person experiencing them.

In the end, the card isn’t telling us to look at other people’s balance sheets Instead, it encourages us to take a good look at our own lives and choices.

Accountability Begins Closer to Home

When we hear the word “Justice,” it’s easy to think about others—the ones who lied, the people who twisted things in their favor, or the ones who broke your trust, maybe even the ones who always seem to get away with things.

But here’s the kicker: Justice also asks us to take a moment and think about our own choices moving forward.

This isn’t about blaming you for what’s happened. You’re not at fault for those past experiences.

Eventually, there comes a point in every tough situation where you get to decide what you do next.

Justice isn’t just about what others should face; it’s a push for self-reflection and taking responsibility. It’s about figuring out what actions you need to own from here on out, guiding you toward healing and personal growth.

Truth Doesn’t Always Feel Fair

This is the moment when honesty shows just how complicated it can be Sometimes, the raw truth doesn’t just back up what we’ve been through; it can throw our stories into a bit of a twist.

It can push us to face some hard truths about ourselves and the choices we’ve made.

• We stuck around in situations that weren’t good for us way too long.

• We ignored the signs that told us to back off.

• We held on to the hope that someone would change into the person we wanted them to be, even when they kept showing us something different.

• We put our own well-being on the back burner just to keep things smooth, often forgetting our own needs.

It’s important to realize that recognizing these truths isn’t about beating ourselves up. Instead, it’s about being more aware of ourselves, which is a key step in really understanding who we are.

These ideas are totally different. Real justice doesn’t include shame in the mix. What it’s really after is clarity—an honest and clear picture of what’s happened.

Revenge Keeps You Looking Back

A lot of people often mix up justice and revenge, thinking they’re the same thing. But they’re actually pretty different.

Revenge keeps you stuck on what others have done and the consequences they face, trapping you in a loop of bitterness and anger. However, and this is a big however, you absolutely do not need to forgive those who deliberately harmed you as well, but I won’t get into that too much right now.

But, on the flip side, justice encourages you to look inward. It asks an important question: “Who are you becoming because of this?”

In the end, it doesn’t really matter whether the other person changes, shows regret, or faces any real consequences for what they did. Your life keeps moving forward, regardless. Waiting for their story to wrap up in a way that satisfies you can hold you back from writing the next chapter of your own life.

Where This Connects to Survival

One important lesson that comes from the struggle to survive is our ongoing search for meaning, even when everything feels chaotic and tough. We really want to believe that, eventually, every bit of pain will come with an explanation. We cling to the hope that one day all the scattered fragments of our experiences will come together to create a clear story.

Sometimes, against all odds, things suddenly make sense, and we find that elusive understanding. But there are also times when it feels like the universe has nothing to say, leaving us to wrestle with questions that have no answers. This emotional push and pull is a key theme I explore in my upcoming book, *Survival Isn’t Victory*.

I want to shed light on the idea that just because we go through tough times doesn’t mean we’ll find the closure we’re so desperate for. Life often requires us to keep moving forward, even when we don’t get the resolution we thought we deserved. This can be one of the hardest truths we face.

The Essence of Justice

Justice isn’t about getting back at someone, and it doesn’t promise perfect fairness. Instead, it offers something deeper and more significant:

• Accountability, pushing us to recognize our actions and their consequences

• Discernment, helping us figure out the tricky line between right and wrong

• Integrity, guiding us to stick to our values even when it’s not easy

• Perspective, letting us take a step back and see the bigger picture of our choices and their effects

• The courage to make tough decisions based on reality rather than sticking to what we wish would happen

Justice reminds us that while we might not control every outcome in life, we do have the power to shape who we become as we deal with those situations. Every experience and challenge gives us a chance to define our character in the face of hardship.

Final Thought

Justice isn’t just about hoping life will eventually be fair. It pushes us to ask ourselves: “What will you do with the truths you’ve already learned?”

Fairness can feel like a moving target, often out of our hands and influenced by all sorts of situations. But our integrity—our moral values and the principles we stick to—are totally within our control. In many cases, that’s what we can truly rely on to guide our choices and actions.

If you’re up for discussions that go beyond basic tarot readings—like survival, identity, resilience, human behavior, and the complex stuff that doesn’t fit into neat spiritual boxes—check out The Grey Area Unfiltered. Each week, I dive into these tricky topics and share new insights during our podcasts that drop every Tuesday at 12 PM ET.

Sometimes, the most meaningful act of justice isn’t about celebrating someone else’s failure. Instead, it comes from choosing to not let their choices dictate your own path.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

Nobody likes being called weak. That can be one of the worst insults to anyone. However, I think a lot of people are getting tired of being labeled as strong, too.

I mean, it’s not that being strong is a bad thing. It’s just that sometimes that label comes with a lot of pressure. So let’s discuss this a little more because this is one of those highly important discussions to have.

The Compliment That Doesn't Feel Like One

When tough times hit, some people not only get through but come out even stronger. They get called “strong.” Someone might be carrying a load that’s so heavy it feels impossible to handle. They’re seen as strong.

Someone else could be pushing through years of relentless struggle—like taking care of a sick loved one, dealing with deep sadness, fighting trauma, handling health issues, or just coping with life’s constant ups and downs. They’re labeled as strong.

While the intention behind calling someone strong often comes from a place of admiration, it can feel a bit empty too. There’s something left unsaid. What people really mean is:

“I’m amazed by how you endure such tough situations.”

But what rarely gets said is:

“You shouldn’t have to deal with all of this in the first place.”

Strength Isn't the Same as Choice

The Strength card is often misunderstood. When people look at its imagery, they might think about:

• Tough power.

• Rock-solid confidence.

• Total control.

• Steadfast resilience.

While those qualities do fit the card’s meaning, real strength is about so much more. It’s not just about choosing to be strong or trying hard in tough times. Sometimes, strength quietly shows up as a steady force when all other options are gone. It’s about facing life’s challenges head-on when the easy paths have disappeared.

You don’t just develop strength by looking for it; you discover it when life pushes you to your limits, making you find the courage and determination to get through the chaos.

The Burden of Being the Strong One

In just about every family, there’s usually that one person everyone depends on. At work, you’ll spot that one colleague who keeps everything running smoothly. In friend groups, there’s often someone who naturally takes the lead.

This is the person juggling all the details of life; they’re the rock that everyone leans on. They have this amazing drive, always pushing ahead, even when life throws tough challenges their way. But then, something weird starts to happen.

As time goes by, people begin to forget just how heavy the load is for this person. Instead, they only notice the strength and resilience they show.

Strength Can Become a Trap

This is a tough reality that often gets left unsaid.

When you come off as strong and resilient, it can make people think you’re invincible. The more capable and confident others see you, the less likely they are to reach out and see how you’re really doing. Instead of offering a hand, they assume you’ve got it all under control, leaving you to deal with your struggles on your own.

As you build up your inner strength, it creates a hidden burden. With every win and show of toughness, more responsibilities quietly pile up, becoming heavier on your shoulders.

Eventually, what used to make you proud—being viewed as strong—starts to feel different. Strength goes from being a nice compliment to a heavy expectation, making you question if anyone truly sees the person behind the tough exterior.

What the Card Actually Shows

The traditional Strength card isn’t just about being in charge or dominating others. In the image, you see a figure standing next to a powerful lion, but she’s not fighting it or trying to take it down.

Instead, she’s focused on really understanding how to share space with this amazing creature. It’s not about fear or control; it’s about tackling the challenges that come with living alongside something so wild and intense.

This whole vibe shows a deeper kind of strength—one that recognizes life’s difficulties and respects its wild nature.

Survival and Strength

This idea really sticks with me and makes me think a lot. In our culture, we often celebrate survival, putting those who’ve faced tough times on a pedestal.

But in all the cheers, we rarely stop to think about what it really cost them. We seldom ask ourselves:

• What did they lose for good in the process?

• What did they have to sacrifice along the way?

• How much they changed, often becoming someone they don’t even recognize anymore.

• If they’re still carrying that tiredness long after everything’s over.

Instead, we just focus on the fact that they survived, which is seen as a win. But survival and winning aren’t the same thing. This difference is what I’m exploring in my upcoming book, Survival Isn’t a Victory. The journey of surviving and then figuring out how to feel okay afterward is two very different stories.

The Grey Area of Strength

Strength can look pretty epic sometimes, showing off bravery and heroism. But there are other times when it’s way less glamorous—it’s messy, chaotic, and totally unpredictable.

Some days, just getting out of bed feels like a major win, fighting against that heavy weight of inertia with everything you’ve got. It can also mean having the guts to ask someone for help when the world feels like it’s crushing you.

Sometimes, it’s about admitting you’re not okay and showing the cracks in your tough exterior. Other times, real strength is realizing you can let go of burdens that you never should have taken on in the first place.

Final Thought

The Strength card makes us think about something deeper: “What emotional baggage are you holding onto, and what’s the point of it?” Just pushing through isn’t always smart; sometimes it’s just a mask for the exhaustion we’re hiding beneath a brave face.

There comes a time when being honest matters more than pretending to be strong.

If you want to dive into these important topics—like survival, caregiving, identity, resilience, and how we view strength—check out The Grey Area Unfiltered podcast. New episodes drop every Tuesday at 12 PM ET.

Remember, not everyone who seems strong chooses that role; sometimes, life just throws strength your way when you least expect it.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

Few tarot cards are as misunderstood as The Lovers.

When this card shows up in a reading, a lot of people jump right to thoughts of romance—images of soulmates connecting, the whole twin flame thing, or the excitement of big relationship news.

But while love is definitely part of the picture, The Lovers is about way more than just romantic relationships. At its heart, this card is really all about the idea of choice.

That choice isn’t always as beautiful or dreamy as we might want it to be. It encourages us to dig into our decisions, recognizing that every choice is complicated and significant, rather than just celebrating love in its most perfect form.

Everyone Loves the Fantasy

There’s something really appealing about the idea of destiny that grabs our attention. It gives us a sense of comfort—the thought that the right person will show up when we need them, the perfect chance will come along at the right time, and the right path will just unfold in front of us, making it easy to chase our dreams. Everything seems to click into place, almost as if it were meant to be.

But the real deal about The Lovers goes beyond just daydreaming. It digs into the tough reality of making choices. Every important decision comes with some heavy lifting, usually making us give up something we care about to grab onto a new opportunity.

This journey of love and connection pushes us to face the messy stuff about what we want, reminding us that every little choice we make shapes our story in ways we might not get just yet.

Every "Yes" Creates a “No”

A lot of people tend to avoid this part. When you choose to focus on:

• One meaningful relationship

• One clear career path

• One true version of yourself

• One dream for the future

You’re kind of closing the door on a bunch of other options. It’s interesting how many folks spend more time mourning what they didn’t choose instead of celebrating the decisions they did make.

That’s exactly why making decisions can feel so tough. It’s not that we don’t know what we want; it’s more about being super aware of what we might miss out on.

The Myth of the Perfect Choice

These days, it feels like everyone is obsessed with optimizing every little detail of life. People are on the hunt for the perfect partner, chasing after that ideal romance that ticks all the boxes.

When it comes to careers, it’s no different; everyone’s striving for that fulfilling job that will bring happiness and success. Even simple choices seem to come with a ton of pressure as folks weigh every possible option, hoping they’ll pick the one “right” path.

In the end, many end up with a life that’s strategically mapped out to avoid any uncertainty, giving a false sense of control. But here’s what The Lovers card teaches us: no matter how carefully we choose, nothing is guaranteed.

You can’t guarantee love—sometimes it blooms, sometimes it fades out of nowhere. The business world is just as unpredictable; risks can change on a dime.

Even on a personal journey of faith, doubts can creep in when you least expect them. And life itself? It’s full of twists and turns that no amount of planning can predict.

The Real Tension in The Lovers

Take a moment to look at the card in front of you, and you might start to notice something more than just its image. It’s not about calmness. Also, it doesn’t show anything peaceful or passive, and it goes beyond simple attraction.

What it really represents is alignment—a cool blend of what you want and what you actually do. The key question changes from:

“What do you want?”

to a much deeper one:

“What are you really ready to commit to?”

Because while wanting something can be easy and often feels temporary, it’s commitment that turns dreams into real things and gives them meaning.

Why People Stay Stuck

A lot of people find themselves stuck, not because they don’t have options, but because they’re genuinely afraid of letting go of what could be.

They often hang out in this weird space where one foot is still in their comfy old life, and the other is nervously tiptoeing toward the unknown possibilities of something new. They’re torn, with one eye focused on the exciting future ahead and the other anxiously scanning what they might leave behind.

Because of this, they end up feeling paralyzed, stuck in a loop of not making decisions and feeling uncertain, going nowhere. The message from The Lovers is a strong reminder: it’s time to shake off those worries about what might happen and grab hold of the choices that can really change things for the better.

Survival Makes Choice Harder

Survival mode teaches us some tough lessons, especially for those who have dealt with hard times. When your life is filled with uncertainty, instability, or the fear of losing what matters, making a wrong decision can feel incredibly overwhelming.

In those tough moments, doubt settles in like a thick fog. You start overthinking everything, carefully considering each choice and the possible outcomes. You look for some kind of reassurance, a solid ground to help you steady yourself amid all the confusion. You find yourself waiting for that moment of clarity that never seems to come.

And that’s the scary part—because eventually, the world will push you to make a decision, even when everything feels cloudy and unclear. Once you choose, the weight of responsibility hits hard, tying you to the results and all the consequences that come with it.

What This Has to Do with My Book

In my look at resilience in Survival Isn’t a Victory, I delve into what it really means to survive tough times. I think that when people go through difficult situations, they often become hesitant to take risks—not because they’re weak, but because they’re just really worn out. After dealing with serious challenges, it’s understandable that someone wouldn’t want to jump into new risks.

The Lovers tackles this idea head-on, pushing us to think about how we make decisions. It makes us ask important questions: Are we making choices that truly reflect what we care about, or are we just reacting out of fear shaped by our past struggles?

This examination helps us better understand how our experiences affect our willingness to step beyond our safe spaces.

What The Lovers Actually Offers

It’s not really about romance or about some fate that’s bringing us together. And it’s definitely not about feeling safe with certainty. Instead, it’s all about:

• Making conscious choices and actively shaping our lives

• Taking on personal responsibility, where our choices lead the way

• Staying true to our core values in everything we do, so we can live authentically

• Having the guts to commit, even when things are uncertain.

To be totally honest, finding this kind of deep connection is way harder than just looking for a soulmate.

Final Thought

The Lovers card isn’t just about finding your perfect match or soulmate. It digs deeper into what choices really mean: what kind of life are you ready to build for yourself? Along every journey, you hit that moment when you have to commit—choose one path and let go of others you could have taken.

This isn’t about regretting what could have been; it’s life as it is. Understanding this is key to realizing that every choice you make comes with the need to let some things go.

If you want to explore these ideas further—like survival, identity, decision-making, fear, and the balance between freedom and responsibility—check out my podcast, The Grey Area Unfiltered. New episodes drop every Tuesday at 12 PM ET, where we dive into these conversations more deeply.

In the end, the toughest part of our journeys isn’t just about finding the right way to go. It’s about having the guts to pick one path and stick to it.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

The Star is a card that really captures the imagination of a lot of people. It’s often thought of as one of the most magical cards in the tarot deck, representing hope, renewal, calmness, and healing.

When The Star shows up in a reading, it’s like a breath of fresh air, helping people let go of their worries. It offers a little spark of positivity even when life gets tough.

But there’s something important about The Star that many fans might overlook: where it comes from. This beautiful card rises up from the chaos of The Tower. Understanding its place in the tarot story changes everything.

The Star isn’t just a light in the darkness; it’s a promise that good things are on the way after the upheaval that The Tower brings. It encourages us to heal and find comfort after the storm.

The Star Is Not a Celebration

This is where the first misunderstanding kicks in. The Star doesn’t pop up during the good times. No, it shows up after a major fall.

It shines through the gaps left when everything you believed in gets shattered. It comes out once the things you built your life on fall apart. After the image you leaned on stops giving you the support it once did.

What’s left after this collapse isn’t a boost of confidence. It’s actually a pretty deep sense of vulnerability.

Hope Feels Different After Ruin

This card really gets what hope is all about. Hope that comes before tough times feels bright and full of potential, like a burst of sunshine. But hope that shows up after everything’s fallen apart carries a different vibe.

It’s more low-key and delicate, kind of like the first flower that pushes through the ground after a rough winter. It steps lightly, careful about what’s around it.

When life has knocked you down in ways that leave a mark, your trust in what’s certain changes; it gets mixed with doubt, turning into a shadow of how it used to be. The Star really connects with this idea.

This Is Why the Card Feels So Emotional

It’s not just about showing happiness. What really stands out is the raw vulnerability. The figure in The Star is completely bare: no armor, no walls, and totally unmasked. A lot of people don’t realize how scary that can be. This is especially true after going through survival mode.

When you’ve been in survival mode, you build up a tough exterior. You learn to protect yourself in different ways:

• Emotionally, by putting walls around your heart

• Mentally, by making your mind a fortress

• Physically, by toughening up against danger

• Socially, by keeping people at arm’s length

Protection becomes the top priority. The Star raises a crucial question: What happens when that instinct to protect starts to turn into feeling really isolated?

Healing Culture Gets This Wrong

These days, the whole recovery scene often paints a picture of people bouncing back as:

• Bright

• Confident.

• Victorious.

But let’s be real—the reality of recovery is usually filled with a lot of doubt and uncertainty. You find yourself second-guessing your choices all the time, with nagging doubts popping up in your head.

Your emotions feel exposed, leaving you raw and vulnerable. With so much unpredictability about what’s next, it’s hard to know who or what to trust.

But being in this vulnerable place doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It’s a reminder that you’re just being human.

The Star Doesn’t Erase the Tower

That realization isn’t just some random thought; it’s a real wake-up call. The Star isn’t about the usual clichés we hear like:

• “Everything happens for a reason,”

• The promise of feeling peace right away,

• The idea of being emotionally complete,

• The search for spiritual enlightenment.

We have to face the fact that the Tower has really fallen. The grief is a heavy burden to carry, and the loss has changed you in ways that can’t be undone. Your body still holds the memory of what you went through.

The Star represents that important moment when you begin to get it: Even with all the destruction, you’re still here; you haven’t completely disappeared.

And to be honest? That realization is a lot more complex and layered than most people are ready to accept.

Survival Changes People

This is where the conversation takes an interesting turn, diving into the often-overlooked side of survival. People often talk about the strength it takes to get through tough times, but they rarely consider how deeply those experiences can affect someone’s mind and emotions.

Survival often makes you super alert, with your mind always ready for whatever might come next. It can leave you feeling emotionally drained, like a heavy weight that sticks around long after the crisis is over. Finding moments of peace can feel really tough, often clouded by the fear that something could go wrong again at any moment.

Those who have gone through trauma might find themselves stuck in a loop of waiting for the next disaster to hit. This isn’t about being weak; it’s more about how we adapt to tough situations that leave us on edge.

The Star represents the tricky space between just getting by and actually learning how to live well after something tough happens.

This idea is at the heart of my upcoming book, Survival Isn’t a Victory, where I dig into the important difference between just surviving and truly recovering. They’re two totally different worlds, each bringing its own sets of challenges and insights.

What The Star Actually Offers

It’s not about being certain or not about being perfect. And it’s definitely not just about having “good vibes.”

Instead, it’s about:

• Finding softness after tough times

• Opening up after feeling alone for a while,

• Being real and breaking through illusions,

Having the guts to truly live life without pretending you’re untouched. And that last part? It’s often tougher than most people think.

Final Thought

The Star isn’t about blocking out the wounds of your past. It’s about the journey of showing up again, even with those scars. Sometimes, that’s where real bravery comes in — not just surviving the chaos…but letting yourself really live after it, without shutting down emotionally.

If you’re interested in exploring these kinds of discussions beyond tarot — diving into survival, identity, emotional patterns, healing culture, and dealing with the messy space between crashing and bouncing back — check out The Grey Area Unfiltered. New podcast episodes drop every Tuesday at 12 PM ET.

Some kinds of hope might look tough, but they can actually be way more delicate than they appear.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

Let’s be real about tarot for a moment. There’s a big difference between taking a moment to reflect and just dodging what’s going on. Tarot can be an awesome way to dig into your thoughts and feelings, thanks to its cool symbolism and insights.

But it seems like a lot of people these days aren’t using tarot for that kind of deep self-reflection. Instead, they’re leaning on it to avoid dealing with their real emotions and situations.

“Just One More Reading”

Yep! You know how this goes. You keep reaching for the cards over and over, pulled into the same story, rewording your questions in different ways, all while hoping the answers will change. You find yourself pausing to look for “confirmation” before moving forward.

But as time goes on, what started as a source of real insight turns into just a way of wanting permission. It’s a realization many people are hesitant to face.

Tarot Cannot Live Your Life for You

This is where things start to feel a bit unsettling. Tarot has a unique way of uncovering the deeper patterns in your life. It can really help you see the hidden areas you often overlook, providing clarity on the emotional vibes running through your experiences.

But keep in mind that tarot can’t make choices for you. The moment you start giving up your decision-making power to the cards, that’s when things can get unhealthy. It’s not that tarot itself is dangerous — it’s more about the tendency to avoid facing what you need to deal with that can be risky.

The Illusion of “More Clarity”

A lot of people think their main problem is that they just don’t have a clear direction in life. But the truth is usually a bit different. More often than not, they have a pretty good grasp of what’s going on. They know that:

• Their relationship is done, and trying to fix it feels pointless.

• The place they’re in is toxic and dragging them down.

• The opportunity in front of them, whether it’s work or something personal, doesn’t align with what they really want or believe in.

• The people they’re dealing with are just too draining, leaving them feeling wiped out.

• Facing the reality of their situation feels too uncomfortable or inconvenient to deal with.

Instead of taking real action based on this understanding, many end up endlessly looking for answers from tarot cards or other forms of divination. The uncertainty about their options seems less scary than actually facing the possible fallout from their choices.

Tarot Can Become Emotional Sedation

It’s a topic that doesn’t get enough attention. A lot of people think that practicing spirituality is always good for their well-being. But that’s not necessarily true. The truth is, any activity, even spiritual rituals, can become a compulsive habit if it helps you escape your inner struggles. Take tarot, for instance; it can easily become:

• An endless search for reassurance

• A way to rely emotionally on something

• A method to dodge tough truths while pretending to self-reflect

• An obsession with overthinking things instead of just making a decision

This situation is especially common for those who feel stuck because they’re scared of making the wrong choice.

The Need for Certainty Is the Real Trap

This is the real issue we’re dealing with. A lot of people want solid guarantees before they make a move in life. What they’re really looking for is:

• A bit of certainty to calm their nerves before diving into the unknown,

• Clear answers to ease their anxiety before facing the tough changes ahead, and

• Some reassurance to help them feel stable before taking on new challenges.

But the truth is, life is messy and unpredictable, and it doesn’t always play by our rules. Tarot cards can offer some insight, but they don’t take away the uncertainty we all face.

Instead, they help us recognize the truths and possibilities that are already part of our lives. At the end of the day, it’s still up to you to tackle the unknown and work through the complexities of life.

This Is Where the Cards Become Distorted

It’s not just about the deck of cards, but more about how fear can take hold of the whole reading. Once fear sets in, everything changes. People start to twist the cards to get the outcome they want:

• They keep pulling at the cards, hoping to find a comforting answer that matches what they’re wishing for.

• They ignore the cards that make them uncomfortable, not wanting to deal with the truths those cards might show them.

• They turn warnings into something easier to digest, calling them “growth opportunities” to make the discomfort seem like a good thing.

• They might even visit different readers, trying to find one who’ll tell them what they want to hear, latching onto any bit of hope for reassurance.

At this point, the cards aren’t being read honestly anymore. They become something people try to negotiate with, shaped by anxiety and desire instead of providing real insights.

Where This Connects to Survival

People who have been stuck in survival mode for a long time often freeze from the fear of making the wrong choice.

Even the smallest mistake can feel like a total disaster to them.

Because of this, they tend to:

• Analyze every possible outcome way too much,

• Overprepare for things that might never happen,

• Get caught up in a cycle of overthinking,

• Seek advice from others more than necessary.

This isn’t about being irrational; it’s really about trying to grab onto some control in a world that feels unpredictable. When faced with uncertainty, holding on to that feeling of control can be pretty comforting.

I dive into this fascinating dynamic in my upcoming book, Survival Isn’t a Victory. It looks at how being in survival mode for too long can make people cling to safety so tightly that they start to second-guess their instincts, leaving them feeling stuck.

Interestingly, tarot can help shed light on these deep-seated thought patterns and behaviors. But it’s important to remember that while tarot can highlight these issues, it won’t magically set you free from them on its own.

What Tarot Is Actually For

Not certainty, or something to lean on. Also, it is not a replacement for your own instincts. Tarot acts like a mirror, showing you the deeper parts of your inner world. It reflects:

• The insights you’ve started to feel,

• The truths you’re dodging,

• The patterns that just keep repeating in your life,

• And the feelings or situations you’re not quite ready to face.

But eventually, there comes a point when the cards go quiet. In that stillness, your life hits pause, waiting for you to make the next move.

Final Thought

These days, it feels like a lot of people aren’t really looking for deep insights or life-changing truths anymore. Instead, they just want a break from their responsibilities. But no amount of advice or reassurance can make the challenges of being human disappear.

At some point, we all have to face the fact that we need to make choices. These choices often pop up when we’re feeling uncertain, and they become even more important when we don’t have clear answers or a sense of direction.

If you’re interested in exploring these thought-provoking topics that go beyond tarot—like fear, avoiding reality, survival instincts, figuring out our identities, and the psychology behind today’s spiritual practices—I invite you to check out my podcast, The Grey Area Unfiltered. New episodes drop every Tuesday at 12 PM ET, where we dive into all these themes with an open mind and honest conversations.

While the cards can give us some guidance, in the end, it’s up to us to take those steps and walk our own journeys.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

People really tend to romanticize the idea of connection these days.

We’re all about that constant communication vibe, where messages just keep bouncing back and forth. We want to see every little detail of each other’s lives, sharing everything as it happens. It can feel like we need to be always reachable, which makes it tough to know when to just chill and enjoy some personal time.

In this digital world, we’ve built our identities around being on-call, quick to respond, and emotionally open. It’s a whirlwind of interaction that often doesn’t leave us much time to just take a break.

So when the Hermit card shows up in a tarot reading, a lot of people jump to conclusions that something’s wrong.

They link his vibe with feelings of isolation, loneliness, or even depression. There’s this common thought that his time alone means he’s struggling or sad.

But the Hermit doesn’t equal loneliness. Sometimes, he’s just feeling overwhelmed by the nonstop demands of socializing.

He might be totally worn out by the pressure to always be “on,” to show a version of himself that’s always entertaining or connecting. When he steps back, it’s not a sign of defeat; it’s actually a chance to rediscover himself and find some clarity away from all the noise of expectations.

The Pressure to Be “On”

A lot of people don’t realize how much their lives are like a performance until they take a step back and stop playing along.

This act shows up in a bunch of ways, like:

• Trying to be nice all the time, even if it clashes with what you really think.

• Always being there for others but forgetting to take care of your own feelings.

• Constantly pushing yourself to be productive, linking your self-worth to how much you get done.

• Keeping up a social vibe, interacting with others even when you’re feeling drained or disconnected.

• Pretending to have moved on from past issues just to make others feel comfortable, even though you’re not really there yet.

Eventually, you start to feel this quiet resistance inside, a little voice that pushes back against all that performance.

This kind of rebellion doesn’t shout for attention; it lingers softly in the background. That’s what we call Hermit energy.

The Hermit Doesn’t Leave Because He Hates People

This is a common misunderstanding. The Hermit doesn’t retreat into solitude to avoid the world; it’s more about finding a way to escape the overwhelming noise that makes it hard to hear what truly matters.

In our fast-paced lives, we’re constantly hit with distractions. There’s a never-ending flood of opinions, each trying to grab our attention more than the last.

Algorithms decide what we get to see and hear, bombarding us with a nonstop stream of content. Notifications and updates keep coming, creating a digital chaos that rarely lets us catch our breath.

People often share their lives in a way that feels performative, laying bare their deepest feelings online, usually before they’ve even had a chance to really sort through their emotions.

As the noise grows louder, what starts as a brief break from the chaos becomes a deeper sense of what really matters.

Solitude Isn’t Always Dysfunction

This is when things start to feel a bit uncomfortable. Nowadays, we often look at being alone with a bit of doubt.

When someone opts out of social gatherings, we jump to conclusions pretty quickly:

• They must be dealing with some hard stuff.

• They might be holding onto some grudges.

• They could be seen as antisocial.

• Maybe they’re just feeling “disconnected” from everyone.

But not every time someone pulls back means things are going downhill. Actually, sometimes it means they’re having a moment of real clarity.

There are times when people take a step back simply because they’ve realized how much energy and effort it takes to keep up a social front.

The Hermit and the Fear of Disappearing

A lot of people are always chasing after attention because they’re worried about what might happen if they don’t get any. This isn’t about needing food or shelter; it’s more about needing it socially and emotionally.

We’ve really tied ourselves to the idea of being noticed and the need for reactions from others. We want validation and recognition, along with that nice boost we get from being seen.

When that attention starts to slip away, folks often feel lost, like their identity is a tricky puzzle they can’t figure out without it. The Hermit deals with this struggle directly, facing the fear of being ignored head-on.

Silence Reveals Things

That’s why most people steer clear of it. Silence clears the noise. You start to see:

• What you really think

• What you were just pretending to like

• Who wears you out

• What doesn’t vibe with you anymore

• How much of your identity was tied to what others think

And realizing all this can feel pretty unsettling. Not because being alone is scary — but because being honest is.

This Isn’t “Healing Content”

The Hermit isn’t just about self-care vibes. He’s not:

• “Keeping his peace”

• Living that soft life

• Ghosting for the ‘Gram

The Hermit gets rid of everything except what truly matters. The truth is, most people aren’t really up for that. Because when all the distractions are gone, so are the excuses.

Where This Connects to Survival

People who have spent years just trying to get by often find themselves overly attached to all the noise around them. This happens because being still can feel pretty uncomfortable.

Silence brings up all those thoughts you’ve been pushing away, that tiredness you’ve learned to deal with, and the grief that’s never really gone away. Because of this, many folks choose to stay busy.

Not because they’re feeling fulfilled, but because keeping things moving feels safer than taking a break.

This idea is something I’m delving into in my upcoming book, Survival Isn’t a Victory—the difference between actually living life and just staying preoccupied to avoid falling apart. The Hermit really captures that difference.

Final Thought

The Hermit doesn’t disappear from the scene because he’s out of thoughts or words. He steps back because the world around him is noisy, with everyone trying to shout over each other without really thinking things through.

After a while, he realizes that finding clarity and understanding is way more important than just being social. The silence he chooses becomes a safe space where real insights can grow, away from all the chaotic, mindless chatter.

If you’re interested in diving deeper into topics like identity, performance, survival, exhaustion, and the pressure to always be on display, check out my podcast, The Grey Area Unfiltered. I drop new episodes every Tuesday at 12 PM ET.

Not everyone who takes a step back is lost. Some people are just starting to really listen to themselves.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

A lot of people get pretty anxious when the Devil card shows up. The visuals can be pretty intense—chains, darkness, temptation, and the feeling of being controlled. So, when it pops up in a reading, it’s no surprise people start looking for some reassurance, like, “It doesn’t mean anything bad, right?”

But the real issue with the Devil card isn’t about evil. It’s all about attachment. And that’s the tricky part because attachment often feels normal or familiar, making it harder to spot.

The Devil Doesn’t Force You

A lot of people get this part wrong. The Devil card isn’t really about being overpowered by something outside of you.

It’s more about the connections you keep, even if they end up draining you, distorting who you are, consuming your energy, or quietly steering your choices.

Those chains you see on the card? They’re usually pretty loose. That’s a crucial detail. It’s not really about being stuck; it’s more about being dependent.

Attachment Doesn’t Always Look Toxic

Sometimes, it can feel really comforting, which is why it’s tough to face.

The Devil can show up as:

• that need for constant validation

• relationships that you mix up with who you are

• daily habits that are actually bringing you down

• coping methods that have turned into part of your personality

• survival habits you’ve stopped questioning

The longer something helps you keep going, the harder it is to admit that it might also be holding you back.

This Is Why People Resist the Card

The Devil card really makes you rethink why you’re stuck in certain situations. It throws out some questions that most people would rather not face:

• What are you scared to let go of?

• What part of your pain feels like home now?

• What are you still holding onto because it used to keep you safe?

These questions aren’t all soft and spiritual; they hit home on a personal level.

Survival Can Become Attachment Too

This is where things start to get uncomfortable in a different way. Sometimes, people get so used to being in survival mode that they don’t even notice it. When you’re just focused on getting through each day, that sense of urgency can start to feel totally normal.

Stress becomes part of who you are, being tired feels like proof that you’re putting in the work, and pain ends up giving some shape to your life.

After a while, peace can feel really strange—even a bit scary. Because if you’re not all about survival anymore…Then who are you without it?

The Devil Loves Familiarity

Yep! That’s the real trap.

It’s not the chaos around us, or the total mess you can see from far away. And it’s not the big, obvious threats hanging over our heads. It’s the sneaky nature of what we’re used to.

The Devil creeps into the parts of our lives we’ve accepted so fully that we never stop to question them. That’s why noticing this card can be tougher than dealing with something like The Tower. With The Tower, the danger is clear and in your face, making sure you pay attention.

But the Devil? It lurks in the background. It whispers sweetly: “Just stay right here. This is safe, and this is who you’ve become.” Even when deep down, you know that isn’t really who you are.

This Isn’t About Morality

The Devil card isn’t about being “bad”—that’s a really narrow way to look at it. It actually deals with things like:

• Clinging on

• Avoiding

• Relying too much on others

• Desires

• Fear of letting go

It makes us think about whether the things that keep us together are also what keep us stuck.

Real Life Connection

We live in a world that often encourages unhealthy attachments. These can include:

• Chasing productivity

• Getting caught up in outrage

• Putting on a show for our identity

• Wanting to be needed

• Searching for validation

• Trying to appear “healed”

• Wanting to be seen as “strong”

People usually don’t question these attachments because society gives them a thumbs up. But just because something is rewarded doesn’t mean it’s good for us.

Final Thought

The Devil card isn’t about asking, “What’s bothering you?” Instead, it wants to know, “Why do you keep feeding it?”

Sometimes, it’s not about being weak. It’s about trying to survive. Other times, it comes from fear. And sometimes it’s that weird realization that what feels safe can actually stop you from making any changes.

If you’re interested in digging deeper into these ideas, looking into the tricky ties between who we are, survival, attachment, and today’s world, I chat about them on my podcast, The Grey Area Unfiltered, with new episodes dropping every Tuesday at noon ET. Just a reminder, not every chain feels like a trap right away.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

The High Priestess is a fascinating figure that draws people in with her mysterious vibe. She’s all about intuition and deep wisdom, and she has a strong connection to the secrets of the universe. Usually shown as a calm presence, she gives off a soothing energy that comforts those looking for advice.

But there’s more to her than just being a reassuring figure. The High Priestess has a bigger role; she holds back certain truths and insights that you might not be ready to handle just yet.

While she radiates calmness and kindness, she also carries the weight of hidden knowledge and protects those inner truths, pushing you to face your own shadows when the time is right.

So, in a way, the High Priestess is both a wise guide and a gatekeeper, encouraging you to dive deep into your own intuition, even if that means dealing with some uncomfortable truths along the way.

The Version People Want

We’ve reimagined the High Priestess as a kind, supportive figure.

Think of her as a guiding spirit who leads you with a quiet strength. She’s there to help you find clarity when you’re feeling lost in confusion. Instead of shouting answers at you, she shares them in soft whispers that really resonate when you’re unsure of your way.

But those who’ve really connected with her energy know there’s so much more to it. She doesn’t just jump in with quick fixes; her wisdom comes in layers and takes time to unfold.

She values silence, using it as a space for you to learn about yourself. Rather than making tough truths easier to handle, she encourages you to dive deep into your own thoughts and feelings.

The Role of Withholding

This is when that feeling of unease starts to creep in.

We’ve been led to believe that insights should just pop up effortlessly—kind of like a cool breeze that suddenly clears everything up. It should be quick, super clear, and always there when we need it, right?

But the High Priestess works on a whole different level. She’s the keeper of secrets, holding back insights on purpose. Not to punish us— but because not all knowledge is meant to be understood right away.

Some truths need space, allowing time for deeper reflection.

Others take a while to unfold, revealing their layers slowly.

And then there are those that just ask you to sit with the uncertainty, to embrace the discomfort of not having all the answers without rushing to fix things.

Not Knowing Isn’t a Failure

We see uncertainty as something we’ve got to fix. So we pull extra cards, ask more questions, and search for any signs we can find. Anything to keep from just hanging out in that awkward space. But that space is actually where the important stuff goes down.

The High Priestess lives in that space:

• Between question and answer

• Between instinct and action

• Between what you feel and what you’re willing to admit

And most people don’t stay there long enough to actually hear anything real.

Where This Shows Up in Real Life

A lot of the time, we’re on the hunt for clarity in our lives, even if we’re not quite ready to deal with it. We want answers and insight before we’ve really taken the time to think through the questions that are bothering us. This can lead us to mix up just having information with actually understanding things, confusing shallow knowledge for something deeper.

When we hit a moment of silence or can’t see things clearly, we often start to think that something’s off. We might second-guess our gut feelings or the whole process itself.

But it’s important to remember that sometimes that silence is actually part of the journey. It doesn’t mean we’re lost or going nowhere; instead, it suggests we’re in that critical phase where our thoughts and insights are slowly coming together and just need a bit more time to develop.

This Isn’t Comfort — It’s Restraint

The High Priestess is all about patience, taking her time on your journey to understanding.

She’s not one to just nod at every feeling you have or offer neat little explanations to calm your worries. Instead, she finds a way to balance what you know with all the mysteries that are still unfolding. This kind of restraint can be uncomfortable, though.

It pushes you to face your inner self, inviting you to sit with your thoughts and feelings without the usual distractions that help you escape. In this quiet space of reflection, you’re left alone with your truth, encouraging you to dive into the depths you might have otherwise skipped over.

Where This Connects to Survival

When life has drawn you into a relentless cycle of merely getting through each day, uncertainty transforms from a mere inconvenience into an unsettling threat.

You crave clarity — that elusive light that could guide you through the fog. You seek direction, a roadmap that can steer you away from the chaos and toward a safe harbor. Above all, you yearn for something tangible to grasp, something solid that can anchor you amidst the tumultuous waves of doubt.

In this desperate quest, you may find yourself pushing for answers, even when they arrive before their time. Yet, the frantic pace of survival mode often obscures true understanding. It generates a sense of urgency — a relentless need to rush headlong into decisions and conclusions.

This urgency, however, can lead to the all-too-common tendency to impose meaning onto situations that have yet to reveal their truths. It’s a complex dance between necessity and comprehension, where the desire to move ahead can easily sever your connection to the reality at hand.

This theme is at the heart of my upcoming book, Survival Isn’t a Victory. In it, I delve deeper into how the compulsion to hurry forward can distance you from the genuine nuances of your experience, ultimately hindering your path to true understanding and peace.

What the High Priestess Actually Offers

It’s not really about having everything figured out. It doesn’t matter if you get reassurance or immediate answers. What she really brings to the table is:

• A chill space where you don’t have to rush, allowing your thoughts and feelings to come out in their own time.

• A deep truth that can’t be uncovered until you’re ready for it, inviting you to look within yourself.

• Insights that pop up naturally when you stop trying so hard to find them and let them come to you during those quiet moments of reflection.

And maybe the best part—

The comforting thought that just because you don’t have all the answers doesn’t mean you’re lost. It just shows that your journey is still happening, and there’s more to come.

Final Thought

The High Priestess doesn’t push you to follow her by shouting or giving clear orders. Instead, she guides you through silence, making space for you to think and reflect.

If this quietness feels frustrating, confusing, or even a bit uncomfortable, know that it’s on purpose. It’s meant to help you dig deeper into your intuition and inner wisdom.

If you want to explore these ideas beyond tarot — the parts that don’t resolve neatly and don’t offer instant clarity — I talk about them on The Grey Area Unfiltered, with new podcast episodes every Tuesday at 12 PM ET.

Not everything needs to be answered right away. Some things need to be sat with first.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

People often talk about The Tower like it’s this big moment of awakening. They see it as a major breakthrough, a shake-up, or a chance to break free from what’s holding them back. But that’s not really what it’s all about.

The Tower isn’t this shiny transformation. It’s more like the moment when everything you’ve relied on starts to fall apart, leaving you standing in the wreckage of what you expected.

The Lie We Tell About The Tower

At some point in our lives, we started looking at collapse differently, almost like it’s something that can inspire us or give us a boost.

We catch ourselves saying things like:

• “Everything happens for a reason.”

• “This is all part of your journey, it’s not a punishment.”

• “It’s just a breakthrough in disguise.”

And sure, sometimes we find meaning later on, but we can’t forget what The Tower really represents.

It doesn’t show up neatly wrapped with a bow. Instead, it crashes into our lives, shaking everything we thought was solid.

It can come from losing a job, going through a tough breakup, facing a life-changing diagnosis, or hitting that moment when you can’t ignore the truth anymore.

In those times, there’s nothing pretty about it; it’s just a raw, intense experience that demands to be felt without any filters.

The Tower Doesn’t Ask If You’re Ready

That’s the part most people struggle to accept.

The Tower doesn’t wait for you to feel ready. It doesn’t check if you’ve done enough soul-searching or personal growth. And it definitely doesn’t show up when it’s convenient for you.

Instead, it crashes in without warning. It shines a bright light on your weaknesses. And it strips away the comfort and safety you held on to—whether you were ready to let go or not.

Sometimes, it even takes away things you didn’t want to lose. That’s the tough truth that not many are willing to say out loud.

This Isn’t Growth — Not Yet

We often rush to call The Tower a sign of “growth,” hoping that something good will come out of the mess.

But right after it hits? It’s not growth at all. Instead, it’s really just a huge shake-up.

The idea of growth might feel like a far-off dream. Real understanding might only come after things calm down. Picking up the pieces could take a lot of time and effort.

But right in the middle of The Tower’s chaos, there’s just the collapse. Acting like it’s anything else doesn’t make the pain go away; it just makes it seem like we ought to be handling the chaos better.

Where This Connects to Real Life

We do this in all parts of our lives, not just when it comes to tarot readings. When we go through tough times, our first instinct is often to jump into a reaction cycle. We quickly try to:

• Look at things differently, hoping to shift our perspective

• Make excuses, convincing ourselves there’s a good reason for what happened

• Find a lesson, searching for a silver lining even when it’s hard to see.

This urge comes from not wanting to sit with our feelings; facing the raw pain can be really tough.

So, we often skip over the real emotional processing. We call just surviving “strength,” as if getting through it all is something to be proud of.

Also, we think enduring is the same as “healing,” mistaking just getting by for real recovery. And, we see staying in difficult situations as “growth,” believing that simply hanging in there means we’re making progress.

But deep down, we need to remember that these ideas aren’t the same. Real strength, healing, and growth go beyond avoiding the tough stuff; they require us to truly engage with our experiences.

Survival Isn’t Victory

This is where the essence lies.

Just because you get through a tough time doesn’t mean you’ve actually dealt with it. It doesn’t mean you’ve come out stronger or found any kind of inner peace.

What it really means is that you’re still standing, still here in the middle of all the chaos.

And while that’s definitely an accomplishment, it’s just the tip of the iceberg in a much bigger story.

I’m diving deeper into this complicated topic in my upcoming book, Survival Isn’t Victory — exploring the significant difference between just getting by and truly moving beyond a situation.

The Tower represents that gap, standing strong in the space between surviving and really healing.

What The Tower Actually Gives You

It doesn’t give you easy answers, and it won’t bring you peace right away. And it definitely doesn’t change everything in an instant.

What it does offer is powerful:

• The truth you’ve been trying to ignore.

• The old beliefs you’ve relied on that are starting to fall apart.

• The false sense of security you’ve held onto is finally breaking down.

And that’s it.

What comes next? That’s where you start looking for meaning and purpose.

But the whole experience of The Tower? It doesn’t reset your life or make everything brand new. Instead, it takes off the mask you’ve been wearing, showing you the unfiltered reality of your life.

Final Thought

The Tower isn’t just a turning point in your journey; it’s a real eye-opener.

It’s that moment when you realize the sense of stability you’ve been holding onto, the one that felt so comforting, was really just a temporary safety net—weak and easy to break.

So if you’re dealing with feelings of discomfort, chaos, or a sense that things just aren’t fair—

That’s because the reality you’re facing is definitely messy and tough.

If you want to go deeper into these conversations beyond tarot, I explore them on The Grey Area Unfiltered — including new podcast episodes every Tuesday at 12 PM ET.

We’re not skipping to the “lesson” anymore. Instead we are sitting in what’s real first.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

I didn’t leave tarot behind. I just took a step back because I couldn’t recognize what it was turning into.

Somewhere along the way, tarot became all soft and cozy. It got wrapped up in a nice package, always reassuring, hardly ever challenging, and almost never giving you the full picture.

That’s not what tarot is about. Tarot isn’t meant to be comforting. It’s here to show you what you’ve been dodging.

So, I’m bringing back Creative Tarot Insights, but it’s going to be different this time.

This new version is sharper, more honest, and way less focused on making you feel good. It’s all about helping you see things clearly because let’s be real, clarity isn’t always comfortable.

This Isn’t Just About Tarot Anymore

Over time, I’ve realized that the chats I was having through tarot didn’t stop there. They opened up to bigger questions about:

• Healing

• Identity

• Survival

• The stories we tell ourselves just to get by

Those conversations needed more room to breathe.

That’s where The Grey Area Unfiltered comes in.

Where the Real Talks Happen

If Creative Tarot Insights is the entry point, then The Grey Area Unfiltered is where we really dive in. It’s where I go beyond the cards and explore the uncomfortable middle:

• The space between surviving and actually growing

• The gap between truth and what we wish was true

• The tension most people prefer to ignore

Every Tuesday at 12 PM ET, I host a podcast where I break down these ideas without sugarcoating anything or pretending everything wraps up nicely.

If you’re curious about tarot, that’s where the real work gets done.

And Yes — There’s a Book on the Way

Everything I’m writing, questioning, and pushing against is leading somewhere. My upcoming book, Survival Isn’t Victory, is built around this very idea:

Just because you made it through something doesn’t mean you’ve actually dealt with it. Survival gets celebrated, even when it keeps people stuck, becomes who they are, and replaces real growth.

You’ll start seeing bits of that philosophy showing up here and in everything I create.

So What Changes Now?

Creative Tarot Insights is no longer:

• Neutral as it was never soft, but we are getting harder!

• Reassuring

• About any “feel-good” interpretations

It’s becoming what it was always meant to be: a lens—a way of seeing things more honestly, even when that honesty is uncomfortable.

If you’ve been around before, you’ll notice the change. If you’re new, just a heads-up: I don’t use tarot to validate you. I use it to challenge what you think is true.

And if you want to go deeper than just the cards, you’ll find me in The Grey Area Unfiltered every Tuesday at noon ET.

We’re not just skimming the surface anymore. Let’s start fresh.

Check out and subscribe! It is free for now! https://thegreyareaunfiltered.substack.com

I want to share something honestly and directly with you.

Creative Tarot Insights isn’t going away — it’s just taking a back seat for a bit.

For me, tarot has always been more than just a fortune-telling tool. It’s a way to think things through, shake up old narratives, and play around with symbolism that goes beyond the guidebook.

It’s never just been about predictions; it’s about gaining new perspectives. I’m super grateful for every one of you who has read, subscribed, upgraded, or trusted me with your questions.

Right now, though, my focus is shifting.

Tarot Isn’t Ending — It’s Resting

Let me be clear: this isn’t a dramatic goodbye. It’s just a little pause.

If you upgraded your subscription for the short video readings, know that you can always reach out to me directly. I’ll absolutely honor that. That door is still wide open. I’m just not putting out regular tarot essays or card pulls at the moment.

Tarot is still part of my thinking process. The themes of archetypes, shadows, cycles, and power dynamics are still on my mind, even if I’m not sharing spreads right now.

This feels less like a big shake-up and more like a moment to step back and focus.

Why My Energy Is Moving to The Grey Area Unfiltered

Some of you probably know that I’ve started a new Substack called The Grey Area Unfiltered. That space is different.

It’s rawer and sharper — more about straightforward conversation than the mystical stuff. I’m diving into the uncomfortable in-between spaces:

• Where ambition and burnout can look the same

• Where “freedom” often feels like just another thing to measure yourself against

• Where empowering language can quietly turn into pressure

• Where the wellness industry sells insecurity as personal growth

For years, I’ve seen the wellness world turn healing into a never-ending project. You know they tell you things like you must:

• Heal harder

• Manifest better

• Regulate more

• Be softer

• Be stronger

• Buy this program

• Align harder

• Hustle in your feminine.

It can be exhausting.

I’m currently writing a book that challenges that whole idea. Not in a chaotic way or of emotional reactivity. But clearly, thoughtfully, and with structure.

The Grey Area Unfiltered is where I’m building that conversation in real time. My podcast will dive even deeper — into nuance, contradiction, and friction That’s where I need to channel my creative energy right now.

Why I’m Not Bringing You Over

I want to be super clear about this. I’m not bringing your emails from Creative Tarot Insights into The Grey Area Unfiltered. Each space has its own vibe.

Creative Tarot Insights is all about symbolism and introspection, while The Grey Area Unfiltered is focused on cultural critique and straightforward commentary. They have some overlap, but they’re not the same thing at all.

However, that new space vibes with you, I’d love for you to subscribe over there yourself.

But only if you’re interested and if you want to join that conversation. Consent matters — even when it comes to audience building.

Will Tarot Come Back?

Most likely. Tarot is woven into my worldview. Even when I’m not laying out cards, I’m still thinking in archetypes. The language of tarot helps me make sense of power dynamics, shadows, projections, and narratives.

So, this isn’t the end. It’s only a change of focus. Creative seasons shift, focus narrows, and energy gets rechanneled. Sometimes you need to put one deck back on the shelf to write the next chapter.

Right now, that chapter is all about questioning toxic wellness culture, challenging the narratives we’ve come to accept, and being more straightforward about what empowerment really costs.

So, if you’ve been here for the symbolism, thank you. And if you’re curious about the bigger picture dismantling, come join in. Also, if you’re just quietly observing, that’s totally fine too.

Nothing here was wasted or wrong, it is just evolving. And I also want to point out to those who upgraded, please do reach out to me for short video readings as you paid for that. That is not going anywhere until your subscription expires.

So again, if you are interested in joining I would love to have you join The Grey Area Unfiltered Substack.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

You say you want clarity, yet you usually mean comfort.
You shuffle the deck, asking for truth, but you quietly hope for reassurance. Most clients lean forward when the cards promise romance, recognition, or reward. Energy shifts instantly when the message confronts avoidance, ego, or denial.

That tension tells you everything you need to know. The most powerful readings rarely feel flattering in the moment, as they land like a thud rather than a hug. They unsettle your narrative and disrupt your favorite illusions.

Therefore, when a You shuffle the deck looking for some truth, but deep down you’re hoping for a little reassurance. Most people lean in when the cards hint at romance, recognition, or some kind of reward. But the vibe changes quickly when the message points out avoidance, ego, or denial.

That tension tells you everything you need to know. The most powerful readings often don’t feel great in the moment; they hit like a ton of bricks instead of a warm hug. They shake up your story and challenge the illusions you like to believe in.

So, if a reading makes you feel uneasy, take note. Discomfort is a sign that something real is coming to light. A reading that stings can often provide more healing than one that feels all nice and cozy.

When the Cards Refuse to Cosign Your Story

You might pull The Tower when you were really hoping for The Star. You could end up with the Five of Pentacles instead of the Ten of Cups. The cards aren’t there to give you a pep talk; they reveal the cracks in your story.

That crack isn’t the universe being mean, as it’s the feedback you need to hear. Tarot isn’t about shielding your ego from reality. It’s about shining a light on the patterns you often overlook.

So, when the cards throw a wrench in your preferred narrative, they’re actually helping you out. They won’t go along with the self-deception that you mistake for intuition. They shake up the story that keeps you feeling comfortable but stuck.

You can’t just grow from hearing nice things. Real growth comes from facing some tough stuff, reflecting on it, and being honest with yourself.

Why Validation Feels Better Than Transformation

Validation can be really addictive because it helps you feel good about who you are. It’s like getting a thumbs up for your feelings and actions, making you think you’re totally on the right track.

But transformation? That shakes things up big time. It forces you to face the fact that you had a hand in where you are right now, and it shows you how comfortable you’ve gotten with the mess or just staying stuck.

At first, that realization can be tough to swallow. It might make you feel embarrassed, super inconvenient, and just plain unfair. So, it’s no surprise if you push back against the very thing that’s meant to help you break free.

You might think the reader missed the mark. You might say the cards just felt off. You could claim the timing was all wrong.

Sure, sometimes the timing is off, and readers are only human. But often, that resistance can tell you more about what’s really going on than the reading itself.

The Ego Always Wants to Negotiate

When a reading gets tough, it’s natural for the ego to jump in and start negotiating. You might twist the card’s meaning to make it less harsh. You could even ask more questions, hoping for a nicer answer.

Instead of looking at how you can change, you focus on when they’re going to change. You avoid diving into your own limits and inspect what they’re doing instead. The attention shifts from your own choices to what’s happening around you.

This response is totally human, but it’s also a way of dodging the real issues. Tarot can really pack a punch when you stop trying to bargain with what you see. You’ve got to let the cards show you your shadow without sugarcoating anything.

Just because you don’t like the shadow doesn’t mean it’ll go away. It only starts to integrate when you recognize it for what it is, without putting on a show.

Shadow Work Is Not Aesthetic

Social media tends to make shadow work look all cozy with moody candles and deep playlists, but the reality is way different. Real shadow work feels more like trying to swallow glass—no drama involved. It forces you to face things like jealousy, control issues, resentment, and that sneaky sense of superiority.

A solid reading might really hit home and point out where you’re avoiding stuff. It could show you that you stick around in chaos because peace feels strange. Or maybe you find yourself chasing after unavailable people just to dodge real intimacy.

Honestly, those insights often don’t feel great at first. They can feel pretty raw and even a bit insulting. So, it’s tempting to just brush off the whole reading.

Before you do that, take a moment to sit with that discomfort. Ask yourself why that card got under your skin so much.

The Card You Hate Is Usually the Teacher

Notice which archetypes get under your skin the most.

Do you feel annoyed by The Devil because it points out your attachments? Does Justice rub you the wrong way because accountability seems tough?

These feelings aren’t failures; they’re clues. They show where your identity feels challenged. That card you can’t stand might just be the key to your next breakthrough.

Tarot isn’t out to get you. It brings to light the stuff happening beneath your usual way of thinking. So, even if a message stings, it’s actually coming from a place of respect.

It believes you can grow and sees you as strong enough to handle the truth.

Power Lives in Personal Responsibility

The best readings really help you shift your focus back to what you can control. They remind you that you can’t always manage how others behave, and they make you think about what you put up with or encourage in your life.

At first, this might feel a bit unfair. You might be looking for justice, closure, or some kind of cosmic revenge. But instead, the cards throw you back into the driver’s seat.

Taking on that responsibility can feel weighty, but it also puts your power right back in your hands. So even a tough reading can help you regain your independence.

You’ll stop waiting for someone else to change and start raising your standards and expectations.

This isn’t about blaming victims or ignoring reality. It’s about seeing the control you still have.

Not Every Hard Reading Is Correct

Discernment is super important in any spiritual practice. Sometimes, people project their own biases or get confused by symbols. The energy can come across as off, rushed, or way too dramatic.

It’s totally fine to question a reading, as long as you do it respectfully. Seeking a second opinion is also perfectly okay. But shutting down discomfort right away can really hold you back from growing.

So, take a moment to honestly evaluate the message instead of getting defensive. Ask yourself if it resonates even if it rubs you the wrong way. Pay attention to whether it sticks with you in the days that follow.

Truth tends to linger quietly long after your session is over.

Integration Is Where the Magic Happens

The real power of challenging readings shows up later on. You find yourself going over the message during everyday moments. Before you know it, you’re catching yourself following the same patterns that were described.

So, the reading ends up acting like a mirror for your life. It helps you make better choices in everyday interactions, shifting your responses from impulsive reactions to thoughtful actions.

With time, any discomfort you felt turns into gratitude. You realize the cards actually helped you avoid self-sabotage, showing you that avoiding certain things would have cost you way more.

That kind of change doesn’t happen overnight, though. It takes a series of thoughtful choices to really make it stick.

Stop Shopping for Soothing Messages

Tarot loses its value when it’s treated like quick emotional snacks. You keep pulling cards until one feels good enough. You scroll through readers, hoping to find someone who backs up what you want to hear.

This habit just makes you rely on the cards instead of figuring things out for yourself. It keeps your focus outside rather than getting you in tune with yourself. So, the deck ends up feeling more like entertainment than a tool for real change.

Instead, think of readings as chances for real insight. Be open to clarity, even if it shakes things up a bit. Remember, growth is about more than just getting a spiritual thumbs-up.

You Asked for Truth

Whenever you sit down with the cards, you’re looking for some insight. But keep in mind, insight doesn’t always come wrapped up nicely. Sometimes, it can smack you right between the eyes, even if it’s just a piece of cardboard.

So, don’t ignore the readings that really shake you up. Pay attention to the messages that challenge the stories you love to tell yourself. Give a nod to the archetypes that won’t stroke your ego.

The readings you find tough to swallow often signal a big change. They can clear up the illusions before they do any real harm. They steer you towards living truthfully instead of sticking to fantasies.

When you let the uncomfortable moments teach you, you reclaim your power. You shift from just hoping for things to actually taking charge of your life. This is where tarot really earns its keep.

The most impactful readings usually aren’t the nice ones. They’re the ones that refuse to let you stay stuck where you are.

Just a reminder, I have two other Substacks. If you vibe with this mix of intuition, truth, and no-BS creativity, you might also enjoy:

🎙️ Podcast Guest Hotlist — real podcast-booking strategy without the marketing nonsense.

🎙The Podcast Guest Hotlist

Weekly podcast guest opportunities, AI-powered pitch tips, and visibility strategies for coaches, authors, and entrepreneurs.

By Miriam Rachel

🖤 The Grey Area Unfiltered — the place where I say the things people quietly think but rarely admit. The podcast has a new episode every Tuesday at noon ET.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel

You hear the phrase “spiritual ego” everywhere in online tarot, wellness, and metaphysical spaces today. People toss it around casually, usually as a polite way of calling someone arrogant without sounding confrontational.

However, if you look closely, you will notice something far more corrosive operating beneath the surface.

The real issue is not spiritual ego at all. It is moral superiority dressed up as enlightenment, compassion, and “higher vibration” language.

And yes, you see it constantly, even when you try not to.

When “Growth” Becomes a Status Symbol

Spiritual communities often claim they reject hierarchy, judgment, and competition. In practice, many of them quietly rebuild those structures using different vocabulary.

Instead of success, people compete over “healing,” “awareness,” and “alignment.”
You start noticing who meditates longer, journals deeper, manifests faster, or “lets go” more gracefully. You hear subtle bragging disguised as vulnerability and humility.

Therefore, growth stops being something you practice privately and becomes something you perform publicly.

You no longer ask, “Am I learning?” and begin asking “Do I look evolved enough?”

Thus, spirituality turns into branding rather than inner work.

How Moral Superiority Hides Behind “High Vibration” Language

Moral superiority rarely announces itself loudly in spiritual spaces.
It whispers instead, using carefully curated language that sounds compassionate and wise.

You hear phrases like:

“You’re just not healed enough to understand.”
“That’s low-vibration thinking.”
“I don’t engage with negative energy.”
“You need to raise your consciousness.”

On the surface, these statements sound neutral or even helpful.
In reality, they create invisible hierarchies.

They imply that you occupy a higher moral and emotional plane than others.
Additionally, they frame disagreement as spiritual failure rather than intellectual difference.

Therefore, conversation stops being mutual exploration and becomes quiet domination.

You do not persuade people, you spiritually out-rank them.

Why “Spiritual Ego” Became the Wrong Villain

The term “spiritual ego” originally aimed to highlight genuine self-deception.
It warned against mistaking temporary insights for permanent wisdom.

However, over time, the phrase became a convenient distraction. People began using it to shame confidence, curiosity, and critical thinking. They applied it selectively to anyone who challenged dominant narratives.

Thus, “spiritual ego” became a tool of control rather than reflection.

Ironically, those who accuse others of spiritual ego often display unchecked moral superiority themselves. They position themselves as neutral observers while passing constant judgment.

You cannot grow in environments where questioning becomes a moral flaw.

Performative Humility: The New Power Move

Modern spiritual culture loves humility, at least in theory. In practice, it often rewards something very different.

You see people constantly minimizing themselves while subtly elevating their insight. They say things like:

“I’m still learning, but…”
“I’m no expert, yet…”
“I’m just sharing my truth, however…”

Then they proceed to lecture everyone.

This pattern creates plausible deniability. They can assert authority without taking responsibility for it. Therefore, humility becomes a strategy rather than a virtue. It protects social status while appearing selfless.

How Moral Superiority Undermines Real Healing

Healing requires honesty, uncertainty, and emotional risk. Moral superiority cannot survive those conditions.

When you feel superior, you stop listening, examining your blind spots, and you stop admitting confusion.

Instead, you curate an image of perpetual wisdom. Thus, growth freezes.

You may accumulate language, certifications, decks, and followers. However, your inner landscape remains rigid and defensive. Real healing feels messy, contradictory, and humbling. Moral superiority feels polished, controlled, and emotionally distant. Only one leads to transformation.

Tarot Spaces and the Performance of “Awakened” Identity

Tarot communities reflect these dynamics especially clearly. Readers often feel pressure to appear spiritually advanced, emotionally regulated, and energetically “clean.”

You notice who refuses certain questions because they are “too dense.” Also, you see who dismisses clients as unhealed when sessions feel uncomfortable. And you hear who frames ethical disagreements as spiritual immaturity.

Therefore, tarot stops being a reflective tool and becomes a moral sorting system. Readers become judges disguised as guides. Clients learn to censor themselves to avoid spiritual shaming. Thus, the space becomes less honest and more performative.

Why Superiority Feels Safer Than Curiosity

Curiosity requires vulnerability. It means admitting that you do not fully understand something. Superiority offers emotional armor.

When you believe you occupy higher ground, you feel protected from uncertainty.
You avoid confronting your biases, wounds, and contradictions. Therefore, moral superiority often emerges from unresolved fear.

It masks insecurity with confidence and replaces inquiry with certainty.

You do not explore complexity, instead you flatten it.

The Cost of Turning Ethics into Identity

Many spiritual spaces confuse ethical intention with moral identity. They treat values as proof of personal virtue rather than ongoing practice.

You become “a conscious person,” “an empath,” or “a lightworker.” These labels turn ethics into status markers. Thus, criticism feels like a personal attack rather than useful feedback. If you identify as “good,” you resist evidence that complicates that story. Therefore, growth becomes threatening instead of inviting.

What Real Spiritual Maturity Actually Looks Like

Authentic spiritual maturity looks quieter than social media suggests.
It rarely announces itself.

You see it in people who listen longer than they speak, in those who change their minds without drama, and you feel it in those who apologize without defensiveness.

They do not need to rank themselves. In fact, they remain curious even when uncomfortable. Additionally, they welcome disagreement without demeaning others and hold boundaries without moralizing. Thus, wisdom becomes relational rather than performative.

Reclaiming Depth in Your Own Practice

You cannot control how spiritual culture behaves, but you can shape your own participation.

Start by noticing when you feel tempted to feel superior. Ask yourself what insecurity might be driving that impulse.

Practice staying curious when challenged, listening without planning your response, and separating your worth from your worldview.

Therefore, growth becomes something you live rather than display. Let tarot, meditation, and reflection serve your humanity, not your image.

Let spirituality expand your compassion, not your hierarchy.

The Invitation Beneath the Critique

This conversation is not about shaming anyone. It is about choosing depth over performance.

You deserve spaces where you can be confused, contradictory, and unfinished.
And you need teachers who admit uncertainty as well as communities that value honesty over optics.

Thus, the real work begins when you stop asking who is “more evolved.”
It begins when you ask how you can remain open, grounded, and accountable.

That question will always take you further than superiority ever could.

Just a reminder, I have two other Substacks. If you vibe with this mix of intuition, truth, and no-BS creativity, you might also enjoy:

🎙️ Podcast Guest Hotlist — real podcast-booking strategy without the marketing nonsense.

🎙The Podcast Guest Hotlist

Weekly podcast guest opportunities, AI-powered pitch tips, and visibility strategies for coaches, authors, and entrepreneurs.

By Miriam Rachel

🖤 The Grey Area Unfiltered — the place where I say the things people quietly think but rarely admit. Listen to the podcast as it is released every Tuesday at noon ET.

The Grey Area Unfiltered

Where the truth rarely fits in black or white.

By Miriam Rachel