She told me she wished this guy would come over a make her some meals, do some housework and tuck her into bed so she could finally rest.

“Oh, you have a rescue fantasy,” I observed.

No, she said. I don’t think this can ever happen. But from her tone of voice, I could sense the yearning beneath her words.

It’s a fairy tale that many of us secretly yearn for. We put in all of this work, day after day, month after month, maybe year after year. We think: someday it will add up and we’ll have “earned” the rest we deserve. We don’t always ask for help because secretly we already think we may not be entitled to support because we fear our fatigue reveals our lazy nature.

This reminds me of a conversation with my grandmother when I was about nine years old. She was trying to explain how the welfare system works. A member of her church had made a rude remark about “welfare mothers” and it triggered her. “Well, what about their deadbeat fathers that won’t contribute or pay their fair share?” she muttered.

(Can you see where I might have inherited some feminist philosophies? 😹)

Grandma explained that sometimes people don’t have enough resources to work and take care of their families, and they need financial support. To me, this sounded brilliant. Good idea. I said, “wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to work all the time and we could just read all day?”

As if mothers would do that… Apparently, another reason I didn’t have kids!

She looked at me with a frown. She tried to reframe it. Most people don’t want to sit around all day and get money from others, she tried to explain. They want to make a contribution but circumstances limit them.

In those days, I had little appreciation for the constant labor that moms and grandmas do so their families can thrive. Unpaid labor that has been made more visible in recent years by wonderful authors like Angela Garbes.1

It was only visible in my own patient mother a few times when she got so over-tired and annoyed that she would explode and temporarily “go on strike.” I usually spent the next few days tiptoeing around and trying to help more. My sister and Dad went into hiding because they couldn’t cope with her expressing anger (verboten in our household).

The thing was: I sincerly wanted to sit around and read books. (Maybe not for 8 hours a day, but it was certainly a yearning. I didn’t want to have to go to a job for as many hours as I saw Dad working, and Mom working too (usually without pay).

I felt shame immediately, though I was quiet then. Not because Grandma made me feel shame, but because I had felt the sharp barb of this capitalist conditioning: I must be lazy because I don’t want to have to do a lot of thankless work to support myself. I want freedom instead.

The answer to the problem of having to support yourself, or at least the message I absorbed from family: get an education. If you’re part of the “learned class” they reasoned, I would have better opportunities to earn more money.

It wasn’t a bad idea. It’s just that they didn’t calculate how many others would also bank on this philosophy. Result: college and the workplace could become an ever-moving treadmill of accomplishments to get you access to the “next thing.”

This idea is in the water we drink, at least in the United States. Countless television shows, movies, and self-help gurus exhort us to keep striving. Even my favorite airline has a tagline: keep climbing.

Problem is: I am (or possibly was) altogether too good at working more than others to get my work done. As long as I could minimize distraction. Working in cubicle-land, that’s not always possible. So I did typically have to come in early. I also tended to leave later that most.

In the middle of the day I snuck in a walk or workout when I could, since it helped stave off the post-lunch crash. It was hard to be gone more than an hour without my boss noticing. But sometimes I could manage 75-90 minutes if I timed it right.

In recent years, I tried to make it work as a self-employed person. Mostly because I had a fantasy of working 20-30 hours a week2. The rest of the time I enjoyed learning in the hours I wasn’t actively working. For a lot of reasons, I failed. I now know that picking a very specific niche related to the expertise of our previous job is usually a better bet than what I did, which was to try a lot of things outside that.

However, I was very tired of what I was doing, and I just couldn’t keep doing it. Even though others told me I was good at it. Even though I got kudos from leaders for my organizational and operational skills. They didn’t know how much extra effort I needed to exert to show up that way.

Many of them didn’t realize that almost every Sunday afternoon I spent time looking at the schedule ahead of the actual workweek. I tried to anticipate the preparation that often wasn’t do-able in the tiny slices of time between meetings. Then I’d add to my schedule some extra time on nights of the week I could work late or arrive early to get that work done. It felt relentless.

Much later I realized what I’d been doing was called “masking.3” Once I had language for this, the periodic burnouts in my twenties made more sense. Before understanding my brain’s wiring, it took about 2-4 years before I’d run myself into the ground. Once I had better support, I managed to stay in one company (through 4 progressively more challenging roles) for 11 years.

Share Our Somatic Wisdom

A few months ago, while substitute teaching, I realized that the energetic output of this role wasn’t commensurate with the pay, at least for my nervous system.

A back-of-the-envelope calculation showed me that, for the pay on one day of subbing I would only need to work 2.4 hours in my corporate role. Of course, the corporate job was FTE, without the flexibility of the sub job. But my nostalgic memory made it feel like child’s play given the emotional toll of managing classrooms as a sub.

Was it time to go back?

My husband said: yes. I said: maybe.

In doing many informational interviews in recent weeks, and reminding myself why I left, I now think: probably not4.

Hiring managers have looked at my career break to care for elderly parents and said: nope. One recruiter was more hopeful, saying: the years of skills built over my career don’t evaporate in the time I was away. She’s correct, of course.

I also find myself longing for a “rescue” opportunity like I had that first time I was invited to that large medical device company, as the Great Recession was taking hold5. It was a two week assignment through a temp agency. Just two weeks to prove my value. The assignment was extended to 8 months, then 2 years. Then I was offered a “permanent” role6, where I stayed for another 9 years.

None of the temp agencies I used to work with still exist though. I believe companies are now seeing if A.I. can handle the entry level tasks, so they can avoid the expense of humans. I guess humans will have to scale over entry level skills somehow, but that’s another essay.

However, I still crave a small “prove it” deal. Give me a month, or maybe a quarter. See how I do. If it’s not a fit on either side, we can part ways.

On the other hand, if it works out the way most other temp-to-hire roles have gone for me, I will find something interesting and worthwhile about the role. The manager will discover that I learn quickly, am committed to quality, and that I’m good at building trust within and between teams. We will learn from and teach each other. We may even enjoy some laughs over lunch.

To the friend I judged for having a rescue fantasy: mea culpa. Apparently I do too.

It was also a response to feeling bombarded by so much external input, and so many beautifully and artfully presented ‘stacks. Maybe I was imprisoned by the comparison “monster” within me, the one who has decided I don’t have it in me to thrive among a crop of renowned writers. So I opted to step back.

Subscribe now

In some ways, this was healthy for me. I focused more on the Somatic Wisdom podcast. I had conversations with people who were absolutely brilliant. Two of my favorites from last fall are here:1

It made me curious though. A podcast requires a LOT more work than a Substack post (for me at least). There’s the scheduling of guests, the recording and editing of audio, the process of adding intro/outro, and quality checking to ensure ease of listening. Definitely a labor of love.

Why not just write a quick Substack, letting people know I’m still here? Or even better, reflecting on the juicy lessons I have treasured from interview guests.

I’m deeply curious about the ways our embodied knowing can guide us more skillfully than our busy minds ever could. There are so many ways I could more cleverly feed the somatic wisdom “content ecosystem.” According to the many folks who try to market these solutions to me, at least. 😜

But to what end? I know that people use this platform not just to share their thoughts, but to also build community. I love that (in theory, anyway). But I don’t love all the ways that we are required to monetize the activities we do to keep going.

Now that Substack is becoming a place where the “cool kids” hang out, it’s a little harder to believe the less famous writers among us (raising hand) to feel like we have anything noteworthy to say.

Though this probably the same reason it took me at least 3 years to start a podcast after my initial impulse to create one.

When I took the leap though, it was thrilling. The more I reflect through the medium of podcasting, the more interested I become. The more I dialogue with guests, the more I learn new ways to honor what my body needs and wants. It leads to new ways I could heal the small parts of me that had discounted my experiences I’d had that bumped up against my conditioning.

I’m not sure if Substack holds the same opportunities. Some respected writer friends have recently left the platform. One in particular, Dimple Dhabalia, articulated beautifully her choice to do so. I’ve spoken with Dimple on a Somatic Wisdom podcast about service without sacrifice. Her words are definitely worth heeding. If you don’t follow her already, she’s someone to seek out.

I haven’t yet arrived in a place where I know what intend to do here, or how I plan to proceed with this Substack. I’m deeply grateful to all of the people who have supported my journey along the way, providing encouragement, mentorship, and “friendtorship.2”

This post is meant to clear the slate a bit, and to feel into whether this medium still resonates for me, or whether I’ll consider different ways to share insights.

After completing a 7-month experiment substitute teaching in three school districts (22 different schools) in my area, I have a lot of thoughts about the somatics of education. There were so many times I could empathize deeply with the frustration of students about how they are expected to behave and sit still in an overly-full classroom. It helped me see how dysfunctional our current system has become, and how much more support teachers deserve.

It might be worth a mini-series here, exploring the ways in which we are currently falling short of what young people need, and brainstorming ways we could re-think teaching and learning. I’m certainly no expert on this, but I’m open to the wisdom of contributors on this topic as well. Sometimes outsiders have insights that insiders cannot see.

I’m not a parent myself. I’m part of the Auntie Brigade, as Elizabeth Gilbert has called us. But maybe this gives me a little more objectivity in how I approach the topic of education. I’m a proud daughter and granddaughter of public school teachers.

This would be a pivot in my writing, for sure. But it might be a seasonal series, not a permanent redirection. Let me know if this interests you as a reader, and I might shape more pieces here that have only landed in my journals so far.

I’m also attempting a pivot in career direction, back toward the field I was in for a dozen years (clinical research). I realized I’ve missed the collaborative spirit of the teams I was fortunate to work alongside. This happened while encountering teams within schools that worked well together. It sparked a longing to be part of more long-term projects, rather than being the temporary teammate, no matter how grateful the office staff were in greeting me.

If you’re still reading, thanks for being here. If you’re a Substacker and you are grappling with the role of this platform in wider conversations and communities, I’d love it if you share your thoughts here. If you are just bored on a weekend, and doing the ‘stack scroll, blessings. Go find a place where you can gratefully breathe and watch the dragonflies as I did this morning, while taking my Mom’s cat for a walk.

I never had the inclination to pay attention while my Mom was cooking.

I was deeply embarrassed when I realized during my sophomore year at college that all of my men friends knew how to cook better than me (and most of my women friends). I was weirdly proud of the men, while a little ashamed that I had no cooking repertoire.

Not ashamed enough to learn in the years that my ex cooked for me though. Or in the dozen years after my divorce before remarrying. Meal planning and cooking still elude me. I don’t want to remedy this. I just want someone else to do it.

When I worked in a corporate role that required long days, and too many meetings, I had no energy to figure out how to feed myself, let alone make a meal for anyone else. I could live on Progresso Soup, salmon salads, and bagel sandwiches. Maybe an egg or two in the morning. The alternative was take-out or meals out, and I used this option often.

I love reading, listening to podcasts, walking, thinking, writing, yoga, and petting my fat cat Calvin while drinking tea.

However, this active resistance toward a life skill that some people don’t see as difficult gives way to guilt at end of the day sometimes. Right about the time for my husband to arrive home. He’s told me he doesn’t expect me to have cooked him a meal. But being self-employed means I’m home more than he is.

Subscribe now

Planning meals feels like tyranny to my neurodivergent brain. It requires not only taking an inventory of what’s in the house, but also estimating what quantities are required for various recipes.

How often will we feel like eating chicken versus beef versus something else?

My husband: meat every night. What’s the point of a meal without it? Nevermind his GERD issues…

Me: I can live without it, as long as there’s another protein source: legumes, nuts, nutritional yeast, soy, oats, etc.

How to split the difference?

Going out to eat. I get to order what I want. He gets to order what he wants. No mess in the kitchen (unless we get take-out).

Though this is where the budget gurus would have a field day with our expenses. All the money you could save by making food at home! However, the internal systems we would have to adopt make my neurodivergent brain howl.

When I return home from errands, I notice a neighbor has gotten a “Hello Fresh” box. I make a mental note ask the couple what they think of it. Has it helped them not to have to shop?

My Mom says that the microwave saved her marriage to my Dad. Back in the late 80’s Dad started buying “muscle” magazines and eating 5-6 meals a day. He worked out at the high school gym three or four days a week. As a teacher, I’m sure he needed the stress relief.

Dad stopped eating casseroles and other things Mom made for my sister, herself and me. Instead, he would microwave half a baked potato, or leftovers of rice, beans, and other things make in greater bulk in the oven or the crock pot. They found a compromise that mostly worked for them.

Perhaps this is why I can’t seem to comply with any kind of regime around food. Though Mom didn’t have to make 6 meals a day for Dad, she was tasked with the shopping. She didn’t have the full-time job (unless you count raising children, which is more than full time).

Even as a child I whined about having to shop. My sister seemed to enjoy it. I did everything I could to get out of it. Grocery stores feel overwhelming. The long aisles stuffed with items. The fluorescent lights, tile floors, and annoying music playing in the background. The ever present doubt that I’ve remembered to put everything on the list.

It may sound insignificant to some. You’re used to it. It’s not so hard.

Yet, the abundance of choices and decisions can be paralyzing. It’s one reason I’m grateful for Instacart.1 Though I still feel a pang of guilt now and then, mostly I feel deep relief.

Adulting can be hard. I don’t always love the way we’ve financialized the tasks that the village used to provide. But as a neurodivergent woman who is suited to other types of work, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Leave a comment

As a person with lots of science training, and professional credibility in my career, and a deep experimental ethos, I feel you.

However, what I’m finding to be more true is that time isn’t a linear concept (anymore) for me. In fact, when I view my life and the world more generally as a set of interlocking cycles, spirals, and constant movement, something opens up.

Listening to Richard Tarnus’ Cosmos and Psyche via Audible in 2023 and noting the documentation of centuries of historical cycles, I realized that planetary dynamics went far beyond my first natal chart reading in 2022.

Subscribe now

My goals in life started to change. Rather than hoarding for a mysterious phase of life that most people dream of never having to work again, I plan my next pivot. It’s feels a little unnatural to spend our lives planning for a multi-decade “vacation” in which our bodies may not have the same capacity to enjoy the fruits of our labor.

My father-in-law told my husband a few years ago before we were married that he should travel while he was able-bodied and could enjoy it. We were traveling to fun locations, a side benefit to my frequent flyer miles for work. Of course, saving some money for a rainy day (or a rainy few years) is important. We all have different levels of comfort and safety with savings. I prefer ’s notion of a comfort fund to “emergency” savings. Not working is NOT an emergency.

Healthy Rich

A newsletter about money for misfits. From the author of YOU DON’T NEED A BUDGET.

By Dana Miranda

I’m approaching the age that one of my grandmothers passed away. The other one lived to be 101, but I am also aware that there are never any guarantees.

What I want is is live the life that I have now in a way that’s fully present, engaged, and satisfying. That might mean forgoing designer clothing, or shoes, so that I can get out for a daily walk. Have I missed out? Perhaps. But I just can’t get myself to care about a brand label.

Unless we are talking writing journals. I’m a Leuchtturn1917 girl these days. But that might change someday. I’m open to it.

I started following the lunar cycle with my friend Patrick1 back in 2023, I realized that every single month, the moon moves through all 12 astrological signs. About every 2.5 days, this luminary (reflecting the light of our sun) not only moves from new moon, to full moon, and back again, it touches every single “theme” of our lives every single month.

🤯 Whoa! Really?!

As someone who can be forgetful about chores I don’t particularly like, hoping someone else will do them (my husband tells me to ask; he can’t read my mind), this is much better way to schedule tasks.

For example, I typically pay bills when the moon is in my 2nd house or my 8th house. This may be inside baseball to the non-astrologers out there, but it’s a pretty reliable way to make sure I’m not late on anything. You might do this every other Friday, and that’s also a fine way to plan.

But there’s something about knowing a particular theme is built into the rhythm of the system that helps me relax. Everything will get done, and it doesn’t ALL have to be done today.

Sigh…

When Mercury Retrogrades roll around, the world panics because they wonder what will be delayed. I just relax. Great time to review my systems, correspondence, and plans. No need to panic. This is going to happen 3-4 times a year. It’s not a fiscal quarter, but it is a regular and reoccuring pattern.

One of my favorites, the Saturn cycle, takes about 29.5 years. This means, unlike a lunar cycle, we have 2.5 years (not days) to explore a particular theme in our lives. We aren’t going to “get” the lessons overnight.

Some things take practice and repetition. But whatever we don’t pick up the first time will come along again. Maybe we will be in a place of deeper engagement for that theme in our lives. Instead of making the same relationship mistakes again and again, we might begin to observe a pattern. We realize what’s in common in all our relationships is us.

Oy! Sometimes that doesn’t feel great. Blame can feel easier than responsibility.

The Sun, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and the outer planets all have interlocking cycles stories as they move through the cosmos as well. If we are very lucky, we will have multiple times through each to know what lessons might be up ahead, and to prepare accordingly.

This might involve receiving therapy, or coaching, or some other healing modality that allows us to view our parts with compassion. We all contain multitudes, and there’s no way to know exactly what’s in store for us.

When we are able to forgive our human tendencies and patterns, we can breathe more deeply. We can see others in our lives (or maybe even on the world stage) playing roles that allow us to grow. We extend kindness when we may only see the external behavior, not the internal challenges present.

Whether or not I agree with a particular perspective, I understand there are larger cycles that influence the evolving consciousness of living beings. When I ignore these energetic cycles and “push through” no matter what, I find myself burned out, injured, or met with strange new obstacles.

Programmed in a world of colonial capitalism and an extractive economy, at first I rebelled against the notion that I can rest when I’m tired.

Isn’t that what caffeine is for?

There are full moons and certain annual seasons when I’m full of energy and firing on more cylinders. But energetically, these times feel less effortful and more generative.

I don’t ignore my body anymore. And I don’t ignore what’s happening with other planetary bodies. I’m hip to what capitalist consumer culture wants from me. I can push back, and I often do.

If you’re a curious skeptic too, and you want to know more about the energetics of the constellations, and I have begun to offer a learning path via a paid Substack newsletter called Loving Astrology. I know it’s not for everyone. But if you’d like to hang out with us, we’d love for you to try it out for 90-days and let us know what you think2.

Loving Astrology

Learn, explore and embody the loving wisdom of the sky. Join us to release your fear, live from the heart, and better serve the Universe we all call home.✨💖✨

By Patrick Geary✨

The day before, I’d submitted two auditions on ACX (Audible’s narrator platform for matching books with voices). I was on a roll! Unfortunately, I often find that when I have a day that’s extraordinarily productive, an energy crash follows.

I used to be very hard on myself for this. Now I recognize when my hyperfocus switch gets flipped. I often ride this wave, even though it’s probably better to take breaks every 90 minutes or so.

It reminds me of the way I used to work back in my medical device days. If I had a vacation coming up (usually just a week), I spent at least two weeks before the break on hyperdrive. It sometimes felt like we were “punished” for time off. If a former boss didn’t have everything she needed ahead of time, I knew what was coming.

She often gave herself a summer slowdown while the rest of her staff got additional work piled on to make that possible. I resolved when I became a boss one day (since I did hope that would happen) I’d be as mindful of employees’ time as my own. Hopefully I fulfilled that promise, but you’d have to ask my former colleagues.

Taking a step back means that relentless forward progress is not possible.1 This is a common term in the coaching field, and something that ultra-runners like to use.

Back in my long-distance running days (not coincidentally during my medical device career) I bought into this myth. When you’re in a long race, that’s how you’ll make it to the finish line. Whether walking or running, we inch toward the goal, either way. Sometimes triumphantly, often painfully, for long races.

It’s a little like Manifest Destiny, this notion that we have to constantly strive toward our god-ordained mission. Nevermind the colonization, enslavement, and maltreament of people indigenous to that land.

Subscribe now

These productivity voices are socialized into our consciousness generationally. We no longer rely on a boss cracking the whip. For most of us our harsh internalized dialogue does that all on its own.

What if we instead embraced our inherent worthiness? What if our productivity were not a marker of our self-worth? What if all living beings are worthy just because they exist?

Shedding old beliefs is not always a comfortable prospect. It’s taken me a few years to peel back many of these culturally-reinforced ideas on worthiness. Fortunately, Uranus in Taurus helped guide this internal re-education.2 Uranus is the planet of surprise and revolution. Sometimes its transits can feel uncomfortable. Whether you subscribe to astrology or not, if we think in terms of 7-year developmental milestones, it helps us grasp the nature of transformation.

Get more from Cristy De La Cruz in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

Slowing down, reflecting, and considering what we have learned is a helpful practice of self-understanding. It’s not usually celebrated, but consider this your permission slip (if you’re willing to accept it).

Summer can be a tricky time for parents, with children out of school and less structure. But allowing time for stepping away from the laptop, putting the phone on airplane mode, and listening to the birds is restorative for your soul. Putting your bare feet on some soil, or hiking in a new location gets you back into your body.

If your boss requires you to couch this break in productivity language, then do what you must. But give yourself the gift of slow-being if you can. Hear your own breathing. Notice your heartbeat. Feel the temperature of the air.

You won’t regret it.

***

No?

Okay, this post may not make sense to you.

Yes?

Keep reading. 😽

We live in a noisy world. News that gets our attention with its anxiety-filled proclamations. All the podcasts you could ever want (and more). They don’t call it “Infinite Dial” for nothing…

Then there are all the INBOXES! Goddess help me, I don’t want to get started on this, but I’m counting right now. Email inbox, Messenger, WhatsApp, comments, LinkedIn messaging, social media inboxes, text inboxes, DMs of all stripes in every app.

It’s enough to drive us mad, isn’t it?

As a podcaster, I also have various channels open to me that are far too tempting to resist: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube channels, Audible books, Insight Timer courses, LinkedIn Learning courses.

Most days, I manage to hold off all the input until after I’ve meditated (usually with an app), and completed my internal listening by writing in my journal.

But sometimes, it all starts coming in, too fast, too furious, too hot, too much.

I feel my body getting revved up, my nervous system telling me I’ve got far too much to do and (of course) not enough time for it all.

Then I remember: It’s a lie.

Share

Some part of me realizes that, but it may not be before I’ve tripped the switch, gotten caught in the whirlwind that eventually leaves me breathless.

About 10-30 seconds of noticing the depth and length of my breath (particularly the out breath) almost always brings me back. When I remember that peace is available to me.

The other times: I continue until my brain exhausts itself. Spinning and spinning, crossing off tasks from my anxiety-spiral list, convincing me I’m doing something useful. Sometimes it was actually true!

If you’ve missed recent episodes of the Somatic Wisdom podcast, some great interviews were released recently. Two of my favorites are linked below:

Check them out & give my guests some love, if you are willing. ❤️ and have Substacks too. This is definitely where the cool kids live these days.🌻

No doubt, the most amazing part of what I get to do is have conversations with fascinating people. I’ve also realized that getting caught in the whirlwind of hearing others’ conversations can be a source of distraction for me.

I tell myself I’m studying the craft, learning from the masters, and I’ll write the ‘stack later. But if I put off my own writing, and don’t do that before adding the brain candy of listening, I never get it done.

Traffic jam in the brain = inability to process, retain, or make sense of what I’ve just taken in. It’s not pretty. However, I’m forgiving myself for this tendency. It may feel like a design flaw, but when I use it effectively, it is a superpower.

Slowing down, allowing for silence, tuning into my internal sensations. These are ways I come back to myself.

Simple? Yes.

Easy to remember when I’m caught in the whirlwind?

Not so much.

Subscribe now

This is the real reason Somatic Wisdom is what I’ve committed to study in this lifetime (and maybe the next few, who knows?). I spent the first 45 years of my life trying to outrun my unruly mind. Now I’m learning to let it get “seated” in the body, to tend to it, to ask what it needs.

I’m far from perfect at this. An ableist culture that loves productivity has reinforced the opposite in me. It makes me all the more determined to keep documenting these lessons to myself.

Freeing up the junctions, the synapses. Remembering I’m enough as I am. It will be a lifelong process. I’m here for it.

How about you?

Leave a comment

My mind starts catastrophizing about it: Why the hell is this happening? How am I ever going to heal this pain if I cannot sleep? What did I do to cause this pain?

Subscribe now

This time, knowing the Saturn cazimi1 wasn’t far away, I dropped into a deeper inquiry to ask for wisdom on this pain. For those who are familiar with Elizabeth Gilbert’s Letters from Love, this is a similar process.

Asking the SOUL (aka “spirit of unconditional love”) to give us guidance nearly always gives us comfort and solace. It’s something I’ve been practicing most weeks for a year and a half now.

I’ve also been practicing astrology with my dear friend Patrick, of Truth Takes Time. We did some deep dives into Saturn in early 2024, knowing that this planet is often “blamed” in astrological circles for the events and situations that afflict us. However, things change radically when we see this cosmic teacher as a wise messenger, rather than an arbiter of punishment.

We offered a session on March 11, 2024 to help others channel this energy, and I wanted to share it with you as well. You can access it for free on the YouTube video below this paragraph.

Now that I’m three days into blissfully interrupted 7-8 hours of sleep after the sciatica hellscape of March, and I appear to be on the mend, I have the attention span to write and think more clearly again. Hallelujah! I can finish the post I tried to share a couple weeks ago, with my peace greatly restored:

Dear Saturn, what would you have me know today about this hip pain?

Dear Cristy,

I'm so sorry that you haven't slept well for the last three nights due to the pain in your hip, and you’re having a hard time finding a place that's comfortable to rest. I am not the one sending you the pain. However, I am the representation of the boundaries and emotional wisdom, that you are finding through this experience.

I want you to know that you're stronger than your pain. I want you to know that even when you feel like you can't stand it and you just want to do something dramatic to make it go away, you can stand it. You've been noticing how you can watch the pain come and go, crest and subside. You can be with it.

What I want to suggest is that you observe yourself closely. Observe your state closely. When the pain flares up, reflect on what thoughts might be coming up.

Are you telling yourself a story like you did yesterday? That you're not doing enough, and this pain is getting in the way of your to-do list and your tasks, and that somehow that makes you unworthy of love.

You're not unworthy. I will always love you. I'll always love you, whether you're in pain, or whether you're in deep pleasure and enjoyment. I will always love you.

I would suggest you start this inquiry, this exploration. Anytime you notice a time when the pain lessens, when it abates. It might be because you took the pain medicine or that caffeine kind of helps open up the blood vessels. Justt take a moment of gratitude for the ease. Remember how different it can feel when you are experiencing painand when the pain flares up.

Don't blame yourself, my dear.

When the pain flares up, you can notice it, observe it. You can change your position. Try to become a little more comfortable. Listen to what your body is telling you.

I want to tell you I'm proud of you. I'm really proud of you for doing this work. I'm proud of you for going there, for going where most people really prefer to remain unconscious. They don't really want to look into it. They don't want to observe their own internal tangles.

Also know that I'm here for you to give you the support and the structure and the wisdom to be able to take on what you can take on. And even to give you endurance through some of the pain. When it's time to do certain activities, you are learning to distinguish between pain and discomfort. Discomfort is survivable and so is pain, really, but there's a subtle difference.

Discomfort sometimes arises when you're doing something new or challenging that you're not sure you know how to do. And it's that discomfort that we often have to get over those little avoider parts of ourselves. And I know you know yours well, Cristy. You've been getting to know that avoider part, and I'm proud of you for doing that work.

I'm helping you realize where your own boundaries and your own porousness. While it's a beautiful thing and allows you to connect so easily with people, sometimes you take on their pain unnecessarily.

Just breathe into that for a moment.

Discernment is what I'm teaching you, what Saturn teaches you. Judgment comes from this part of us that wants to get everything right and it has a good motive. This judge we have in us, it wants to get everything right. It's learned rules. It's absorbed what people have told it. It’s well-intentioned.

It's not trying to harm you, but it lacks the nuance of discernment. Discernment is a product of your wisdom, learning lessons from experiences over time. Understanding when it's all right to say yes to something, even if it challenges you. Even if it creates a busy calendar.

Then other times when you're in pain, when you're hurting, it's all right to just rest.

I know this is gonna be challenging for you in the next couple of days, but you will need to slow down more. You're going to need to rest more. You might only be able to do one or two hours of work during the day.

Know that I'm with you always. I'll never wish these afflictions for you. However, with these things that you endure, you are developing deep wisdom and deep spiritual muscle to be able to face any challenge.

So my dear, I think you could probably have some breakfast now and move on with your day. I'm so glad you checked in with me. I hope this was helpful to you.

Love Saturn

Thanks for reading! May you channel the compassion that unconditional love, or any of the planets has to offer you. Offer it to yourself. Offer it to those you love. Offer it to those who are hard for you to be around. You never know what challenges might lurk beyond their strained smiles.

Leave a comment

Guilt arose immediately every time I considered this. It will require lining up some other types of support. There were applications I needed to fill out to do this. I’d been intending to do this since last October. But tasks without deadlines tend to elude me.

This time though, my body didn’t give me the choice to do the cleaning chores myself. Last Thursday morning, pain shot through my left leg as I took my first step oft the day. Uh-oh.

WHAT? IS? THIS?

I’d been given an opportunity to experience my physical limitations. Without this cue, I would have looked around the mess, and started working on it.

I suddenly grasped how I’d been pushing myself, feeling more responsible than necessary for this work. The pain required me to stop the madness of over-activity, and to apply for the caregiving support I’d been putting off.

Sometimes our bodies tell us we must be more strategic.

My relief at not being “responsible” for housecleaning dissipated. The pain persisted, so I tried to rest physcially. This week I gratefully visited my nurse practitioner, and got a wonderful referral to physical therapy. I feel like I’m mending, not only the pain, but my tendency to overgive.

This recent episode got me to reflect on what I learned years ago from Gabor Mate’s book “When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress”. (There are several editions with different subtitles, and I’m citing the one from my personal Audible library.)

Stress isn’t necesarily bad for us. Kelly McGonigals’ memorable Ted Talk helps reframe how we think about this. Sometimes our nervous system response is a necessary part of preparation for a new challenge ahead.

An oscillation between stress and relaxation, like the contraction and release of each of our muscles each day, is required for our balance and health.

Chronic stress, not so much.

The tricky thing is that our experiences are quite subjective. How we perceive a particular event might be exciting for me and stressful for you. Back in my college days, I had a hankering to try skydiving. Did it frighten me? You bet! I still made a couple of tandem dives back in 1996, and it was exhilarating.

Subscribe now

Seven years ago I decided to leave a manager role in the medical device field, after about 11 years working for one company. Some parts of that job were a great fit. I enjoyed investing in my team’s professional development goals. This led me to coaching, eventually.

I kept having a nagging feeling that something else was calling me. One evening, after three long days of meetings with my team in Miami, a big message broke through. After focusing on our new mantra “no new projects without new resources” my director annouced a new addition to our project portfolio.

My body protested in anger. My words came out clumsily. I objected and pointed out the contradiction. “We’ll talk about it later,” my boss said to placate my concern.

Three weeks later, an appendicitis and emergency surgery took me down.

After I was conscious again, I didn’t grasp the nature of the recovery when the surgeon asked if I would need a note for work. “Can’t I just work from home?” I pleaded. It had been years since I had taken more than one or two unexpected days off when I was sick.

She looked at me sternly and said, “You’re going to be on some very strong pain meds. You won’t be making good decisions. No.”

Well then. Please write me a note.

While lying on the couch that week, not even able to pick up a gallon of milk without help, I read Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s memoir. Several other books that found their way into my non-napping time, but that one stands out. Perhaps reading a brave woman’s journey lent me the courage I needed.

At the end of that week, I jokingly asked my husband what surgery I could have next week to get out of work. He looked alarmed, but he finally absorbed the truth I’d been trying to express to him about a career change.

My body wasn’t lying to me. I had only to listen to it without fear.

Within a few weeks, I had signed up with a life coach, and started to plan my exit, which I executed as gracefully as I could 8 months later.

I was recently asked if I had regrets about leaving. I could honestly answer: No. I sometimes miss the people and teams I used to work with. But I’d reached my expiration date there.

My body knew. It was my fearful mind that resisted the change.

***

Have you ever had a “loud” body signal that shook you loose from something that you might not have left otherwise?

Are you feeling like you are getting signals you need to leave a situation now? Or that you are being challenged to step up in a new way?

***

Registration here

If you’re feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders, I invite you to join and me to Connect with Loving Wisdom next Tuesday, March 11th at 11 am Pacific / 1 pm Central / 2 pm Eastern / 6 pm London / 7 pm Europe. This a free hour-long event to celebrate the one day of the year when the Sun passes over Saturn in the sky. We’ll channel messages of compassion from the ringed planet with friendly conversation, gentle somatic practices, and meditation. We’d love to see you there. Register here to attend live and you’ll also receive the recording to listen to later. 🪐

It’s all a little much, isn’t it?

If you really are struggling, I highly recommend a listen to Jay Moon Field’s most recent course, Finding Energy and Optimism in Difficult Times1. What I love most about this short 30-minute video is that Jay helps us realize that hope is not necessarily our best bet. Instead, she helps us see how we can embody our own agency.

There are several micropractices she offers to help us get there, and they are ways to resource ourselves in the moments when we may feel overwhelmed. As we spoke on a recent Somatic Wisdom podcast, it occurred to me again how often those of us who are highly empathic truly need this work.

I opted to be vulnerable and to apply a technique on the spot that she’s been teaching her clients to a situation with my Mom. Especially with family members, we often have long-standing patterns and roles we adopt.

It can be hard NOT to engage in the “organ recital,” a litany of physical complaints, when we don’t feel well, and especially as we age. Our minds drift toward negativity bias, which kept us alive throughout much of our evolution.

It takes effort and practice to see when we are dwelling on the downsides, and to notice things that are going right. It’s also helpful to remember that the media is not necessarily going to balance that scale for us. We must do this for ourselves.

For me the easiest way to do this is to get out for my daily walk. About 80% of the time, I take along a podcast or audio book. (Learning is my happy place.)

I also tune into the sounds around me, and even the sound of my inner voice(s). It’s also helpful to remember that our inner judge and saboteur voices have been programmed into us by our culture.

When we are disembodied, and disconnected from our senses, these fear-based voices tend to become stronger. Whereas when we access the more compassionate, wiser part of ourselves, this voice always contains love.

Remember that to stay disempowered actually serves the late-stage capitalism machine.2 People tend to consume a lot of things they don’t truly need to quell their anxiety rather than to resource themselves internally.

Subscribe now

Back to my conversation with Mom. As it turns out, I visited for a couple days right after that conversation. I opted to be proactive about how to resource myself differently during the visit. I took more breaks from the “sitting time” (when the organ recital tends to play) and didn’t drive myself as hard as I sometimes do.

Was the house a little messier than usual when I left this time? Probably. But I felt less resentful and annoyed about not honoring my needs for rest. It’s a 4-5 hour drive from my home to hers, and sometimes I forget that takes energy too.

Mom is an adult, and there are sliding-fee services she can access to get more of the help she needs. Next visit, I’m going to help her apply for these. My tendency to over-function felt right sized, which helped me remain more patient.

I took a deep breath when Jay coached me about how caring for our relationships is deeply valued, and yet also feels like a burden (2-min juicy clip here). Her “hey wait” strategy is still on a post it note in my car.

My whole body feels the exhale as I let go of some of the pressure I’ve put on myself. I see it for what it is, an attempt to care for someone I love.3 But I don’t need to do it at my own expense. And neither do you.

Leave a comment

It’s in the Silicon Valley Bible.1 To get to a “minimal viable product” according to Human-centered Design, you start with a limited budget, and build a rough prototype.

In theory, it helps us take action and test our ideas. Do they work? Can we make something helpful for our “users” to solve their problem?

The mindset can be helpful, since we often overthink our ideas instead of taking action and testing them. Back in my medical device days, we used it to pilot test our ideas, not only products, but also processes.

However, when it comes to programs that are working for many people who are served by them, moving fast and breaking things is potentially fatal. Even Harvard Business Review said that this era is over (and this was in 2019). Instead of MVP standing for minimal viable product, they argue for minimal virtuous products instead.

It’s time for us to fully internalize that human beings are NOT products. I took this stand meaningfully when I decided to stop most social media use over a year ago (primarily Instagram and Facebook). I heard someone on a podcast2 say “if you’re not paying for the product, you ARE the product.”

Whoa.

Stopped me in my tracks.

Your data are being mined on the social platforms to sell things to you.

You probably know this abstractly. I did also. It seemed harmless. Then I read Johan Hari’s Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention and How to Think Deeply Again. The book wasn’t a panacea for my attention issues. But it helped me see through the assumptions I had about being able to “control” my social media use. In fact, I could relate to times it felt like it controlled me.

These platforms are designed to exploit our brain chemistry. Nir Eyal has written extensively about this, ironically writing the book on how to “hook” people, and possible remedies in Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Your Life.

Overthinking is not my friend. But when I move too fast, and truly don’t think through what I’m doing? I break things like coffee cups, frienships, and toenails.

Subscribe now

This hasn’t happened much lately. I see the folly of being duped into moving faster than the natural pace of my own embodiment. This is where capitalism lies, claiming we are not enough unless we are constantly producing.

You are enough.

You are enough right now, as you are.

You are enough even if you needed to stay home, take a nap, and tend to your health today.

You can never do more to earn your worthiness to be here. Your inherent worthiness cannot be earned, and is divinely bestowed.

How does it feel to read that? Can you truly take it in? Breathe deep with it?

I feel my shoulders drop as I read this out loud. This is where the somatics of our words and our internal (and external) language are important to notice. They directly affect our nervous systems and our overall health.

Some of us like to move fast. However, this reflects fear, moving too fast to see how what we do impacts others’ lives and our own. Remember, we live in a world where we are highly interconnected. This is both a blessing and a curse.

When moving fast, we don’t think through the implications of our actions, and our investments or divestments. When the work we do is tied to thousands, or even millions of people and their wellbeing, our decisions require thoughtfulness and feedback. They require proper notice, and regard for humanity. We are witnessing a massive and callous disregard for these principles on the national stage.

Radical change is possible when large numbers of people participate in democracy. The strategy of the current U.S. administration been called a blitzkreig, German for lightning war. It sure feels that way most days.

I see people pushing back in large or small ways, refusing to cooperate and collude with unethical requests. I’m looking for ways to channel trickster energy per the wisdom of Tricia Hersey (via Satya Robyn below).

I’m inviting ideas for creative and subversive pushbacks to be revealed in my dreamspace, or even in the comments here. I am slowing down to enjoy my cup of tea in the morning, without news entering my field until at least 4-5 hours into the day. I will preserve my time to meditate and create, before allowing those channels to permeate my consciousness.

Going slower to pay attention yields dividends that may be harder to see day-to-day. When we look over the longer arc of history, pacing ourselves is important. It is the only way we can thrive.

Leave a comment

But I kept writing…

His voice in my head sounds a lot like my judge/critic/inner dictator. 👹 Coincidence? Probably not. 🐒

I’m sharing it half-baked. I’m sharing it knowing that FTE = 40 hours in most people’s minds. But that every FTE job I’ve ever had seemed to require 45-50 hours of effort from me. Interruptions, and endless meetings… lack of respect for the true time that it takes projects to get done. When I came in early AND worked late, I barely stayed on top of the work.

Also raising my hand at the fact that, as a middle manager from 2012-2018, I had high expectations for employees. But I had higher expectations for myself, unlike most of the managers I’d endured over the years.

This is why currently I have a “secret” substack project called 30 is the new 40.

It’s not meant for everyone.

For managers that want to squeeze every drop of focus out of employees without regard to their team’s wellbeing: I say piss off.

For those who are unconscious of the ways capitalism strips value from our contributions to send to shareholders while we struggle to pay rent and take care of family: go away. You are not welcome here.

For those who brag about their productivity and have the ideal morning routine. Cool. You do you. The rest of us will kindly roll our eyes, or try to stifle our yawns.

If you’re like me, and you realize there are seasonal variations in how all mammals work, welcome.

Subscribe now

We need you here.

The idea behind 30 is the new 40 is NOT to dictate a 30 hour workweek. Rather, it’s that I respect that some weeks you may have the energy to work only 10-15 hours. Other weeks, you feel lit up. Maybe you work 35-50! You might be neurospicy, btw… or not!

Some weeks you may need to make a 4-day trip out of town to care for elderly parents. So you might work full for three weeks and get one week off each month.

I believe it’s possible to structure workplaces this way. And these places would foster the kind of loyalty that comes from knowing we all belong, but we cannot all contribute equally at every moment.

It’s a tiny behind-the-scenes effort right now. I know the current administration won’t be friendly to this effort. But as a crone, I am looking into the 10-25 year horizon. If we make no progress on climate change, chronic overwork, and reducing violence in this world, in 10-50 years, we will no longer have a world worth living in.

I wrote one post. I purchased some domain names.

I’m trying not to spread myself too thin. It’s a constant dance. But this idea has been living in my brain for 2-3 years, begging for air. I forgot to eat lunch while getting jazzed by the idea. And then I stayed up too late visualizing a more kind, peaceful world in which we all have enough.

Then I said some prayers for those still coping with wildfires, and all the people in the world suffering under dictators and warmongers. I turned on “sleep stories” from my Chani app. It was an attempt anyway…

I said another prayer for those who are already involved in similar efforts. They may tell me I haven’t done enough research to start something like this (not knowing that I read sociology for fun). Or ask what kind of budget I have. Um, zero?

Today I will eat lunch at my normal time.

I’ll appreciate that in the scheme of things, all the people on this earth won’t be alive in 100 years. Maybe our ecosystems will recover then, if we haven’t exercised the nuclear option. Eventually the star that is our sun will burn itself out. For now, I still use its rays to warm my hands, feet, and heart. Grateful to take another breath today, and borrowing some courage from Bishop Mariann Budde.

Speaking truth to power can be quiet, like water trickling in a stream, until it joins with other streams to create a rushing waterfall. Sometimes it comes from that still, small voice within us and lights a tiny flame in another heart.

Maybe that’s all we ever need.

Leave a comment

To be fair, as a bicultural, bilingual, white-presenting, restless woman of Mexicana heritage, I’ve always felt a little odd. Like I knew I was hiding something.

Was I actually hiding something?

Sure. I hid what I was thinking, when I didn’t want to speak up.

I hid my heritage when it didn’t seem safe or convenient for others to know I am not entirely white.

I hid my intuition. Nobody wants us to call out uncomfortable truths at inopportune times.

When did my reading for me, I was sheepish about the Gemini parts of me (rising and sun). I explained that these had always seemed like the scattered ADHD parts of me. The “jack of all trades” side, the part I was told to banish in order to succeed in life. The exhuberant, curious, energetic part of me kept hearing, “pick one thing, study it for a thousand years, and be successful.”

Okay, to be fair they probably said ten years, but it might as well have been a million. That was inconceivable to me. 😭 What about all the other things I want to KNOW?! To read? To learn?

Seriously?!? 🙈

Prior to the first reading, I hadn’t ordered a long form birth certificate, to find a true birth time. I relied on family lore for that. I assumed I was a double Gemini because I’d taken the troubling parts of my identify and magnified them.

Then a 4 hour difference in my estimate showed three signs off for my ascendant.

PISCES Rising?!?

Something deep within me clicked. Yup. That sounds right.

Why did it feel necessary to order my birth chart two years after diving into astrological study with Patrick, and sharing many of these episodes on Somatic Wisdom podcast?

Last fall I charted out my Jupiter transits. Though they were helpful to understand as life cycle indicators, something didn’t quite add up.

Was it possible I was mistaken about the birth time? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Jupiter changes signs only about once per year. Thus it takes 12 years to traverse the entire zodiac. People who keep journals might begin to see these cycles and themes in their lives. Saturn return? You betcha. Aka: quarter life crisis.

I wrote about this a little over a year ago, when I was trying to figure out how to “rescue” a situation in my marriage that was going south fast.

Seeing my husband as not only the Libra sun qualities, but also as a Sagittarius rising with a Pisces moon helped me consider his multitudes. It helped me remember that we ALL contain multitudes.

I needed to own fully the perennial argument we were having, though I had been acting as the “victim” in the situation. I started to see how we were both mirroring tendencies that we’d never be able to see on our own. Partnership tends to grow us in ways we could never imagine.

From a Gemini rising perspective, Sagittarius rising is opposite on the Zodiac wheel. We have met our match. Now, from Pisces Rising, we sit perpendicular.

At first, I was disappointed. Then it occured to me: sitting in a “square” orientation, we are seated at 90 degrees, and can look out at the horizon together.

Mutable water (Pisces) is different from mutable air (Gemini). Still changeable, and able to shapeshift when necessary. But its pace is different, less rushed. Without winged boots, but slippery in water and also elusive.

Other parts snapped into place. Moon in the 12th house, and my need for daily and weekly solitude. Not an extroverted double Gemini archetype that puzzled me. As a Gemini sun, I carry the duality of the ambivert. But Mercury in my 5th house trines my ascendant. This is “astrospeak” for: I love writing.

Subscribe now

You might be thinking: Doesn’t this disprove the things you’ve learned about astrology in the past two years?

Actually, no.

Planetary angles are the same. My moon sign is ~2 degrees different, still trine my sun. But because the relationship of the planets to each other creates an energetic impact, it still holds. And astrologers use many different house systems, so there were only subtle differences.

Re-mapping my transits, it’s like the dominoes have been lined up, and are ready to gather momentum. At least that’s how I’m choosing to see this revision. The old velcro has loosened. 🎉

If all of this seems Greek to you, it’s okay. We have ALL of the planetary energies in our charts, all of the signs, and all of the houses. We were born in one universe, no matter how or who divides it.

We change, we grow, we learn from experience, and WE are the ones who choose our lives. Every time we remember that, we can choose to work with helpful energies and thrive. We connect, and we empathize more easily.

There are many ways to understand ourselves. Last month I wrote about our saboteurs and our Sage. Some of us love the Enneagram, others like StrengthFinder. Still others stake their identities on DNA tests.

Any test that doesn’t make room for your ongoing growth won’t stand the test of time. But I’ll take Pisces Rising for now, and use that to dream up what’s next. ♓️

If you are looking for a wonderfully complete and highly intuitive reading from my favorite astrologer, also an intuitive energy coach, see Patrick’s site here.

This wasn’t the first time I had been invited. A couple years ago, I’d talked with other coaches about this “PQ” program (aka: Postive Intelligence). It offered a way of increasing our mental fitness and our ability to thrive in our wellbeing, performance and relationships.

“But it’s free?” I asked? “What’s the catch?”

One catch: we needed to the enter the program with at least two other coaches to form a “pod” for weekly accountability. At the time, the coaches I knew either had their own growing practices, or had already completed the program.

Well, pass then.

This time around, a colleague who I met through Inclusive Leadership in a Virtual World raved about the program. We were doing a phone networking session as she launched her new podcast. (It’s excellent, by the way, Stories We Haven’t Shared. Way to go Shanti!)

She asked if I’d heard PQ and I said yes. I told her I doubted I could recruit two participants. I could imagine getting one coach friend to join me, but not two. She had a name for me! Huzzah! All I needed to do was find one.

I asked two friends, and one was available to try it out. I’m in!

First we did the online Saboteur Assessment to find out which tendencies we might have that pair up with our Judge (aka: inner critic) and hold us back. Gulp.

Avoider was number #1. 🙃

Oy. (Shrinking down in my seat.)

Avoiders have a tendency to focus on the positive and pleasant in an extreme way. They avoid difficult and unpleasant tasks and projects.

Yikes, that’s me.

If I can avoid negative emotions, I usually do. However, the problem comes when I do this too much, and don’t end up working through the discomfort of things that might be more challenging.

The worst part of avoider behavior is that you still feel guilty and ashamed while you procrastinating on the things your wiser self wants to do! Yet it has become a habit, and these saboteurs are quite sneaky! 👹

It turns out all humans have an internal Judge voice that sabotages them, as well as a variety of “accomplice” saboteurs. If you’re familiar with Internal Family Systems, these are also known as our “parts.”

Typically parts or saboteurs first develop when we are 3-5 years old and learning how to survive within our families of origin. They use the strengths we may have naturally, and then grow to unconscious patterns and habits. While they were useful to us to help receive care and nurturing, they aren’t always as helpful when we reach adulthood.

Also we begin to overuse these strengths. Then they hold us back from fully self-actualizing, and maximizing our potential gifts.

Fortunately, we also have what Shirzad Chamine (creator of the program) describes as our Sage. The Sage occupies a different part of our neural wiring, tapping into the more present, intuitive, and wiser Self (in IFS this is known as Fully Embodied Self).

While I’d done one much internal work with my IFS parts, I had no way to tie this new awareness to consistent daily practices to help interrupt the automatic behavior. This is where the PQ program was different from other coaching or even therapy I’d experienced.

Not only did I become aware of the areas where I tend to sabotage my own efforts, the app delivered reminders and short practices to reinforce the habit. With a morning daily focus of 5 minutes and then two more short “refresh sessions” at lunch and at the end of the day, I could feel this Sage muscle growing.

Share

The Sage is where our true wise and discerning power resides. Its five main powers are to explore, empathize, navigate, innovate, and activate.

Even though I’ve been meditating daily for seven plus years, I didn’t have the right tool to make sure I came back regularly to interrupt the autopilot saboteurs.

Practicing with the PQ app got me to overcome resistance to many activities I had put off. For example:

• 1) Coming back to editing my second book manuscript;

• 2) Sitting down to do weekly “financial awareness” sessions;

• 3) Overcoming resistance to making uncomfortable phone calls.

This was just the start. When I first hard about this program, I was skeptical. But I knew I wanted to start facing the activities that I was avoiding. By doing “PQ reps” and activating my Sage powers, I started taking small steps that kept moving me more consistently forward.

I was also able to see where my “pleaser” and “restless” saboteurs were making my relationships harder. I had more self-compassion and patience with myself and others. When family members started to bother me, I realized it was my own internal judge getting in the way of our relationship, not their behavior.

Subscribe now

I’ve studied these concepts for years. But breaking old habits is not easy until we learn effective ways to “install” new habits into our neural architecture.

What I love most about this program is that there are tactile options, not just guided contemplations. For those of us with busy minds 🙋🏻‍♀️ it’s not always easy to make this shift. Using tactile ways of engaging our senses facilitates this shift. And it can happen in as little as 2-5 minutes.

It’s a micropractice that doesn’t require an hour of meditation, or even 30 minutes. 🙀

Yay! Real people can fit this into their lives.

***

I’m on a journey with this, so you’re likely to read more about it in coming months. I may even do some podcasts on this one. It’s that astonishing to me. 🎉

Leave a comment

If you might be interested in a free saboteur discovery session, hit me up. No obligation, totally free.

I’ll do almost anything to wiggle out of it. Avoiding by staying busy, eating comfort food, listening to podcasts. On the healthier end: walking, talking with loved ones and friends, attending Dance Church, cuddling up with my pets and hot tea.

Slowing down to feel can be excruciating. But I also know it’s necessary to process what hurts. Which is why I’m less apt to rush through experiences these days. We don’t need to wallow in these emotions. But all too often, we rush past, hoping to escape them, trapping the emotions in our bodies for another day.

When Wednesday morning results showed that we would be met with a return of an aspiring dictator, who disrepected our democracy after the last election, my heart felt pierced. Ouch!!

Did the 385,000 deaths from COVID-19 in 2020 in the U.S. alone not impact us enough? Didn’t the insurrection on January 6th, 2020 show people how little respect this man has for democracy?

***

Dana Miranda brilliantly argues that Trump voters aren’t mad at grocery prices, they’re mad at capitalism in her recent Substack. I couldn’t agree more. This extractive system, which disrespects labor, and prioritizes shareholder profits, is dysfunctional and harmful to most of us.

And yet.

And yet…

I’m taking a pause here as I breathe deeply and trying to remember the guidance of so many spiritual teachers, “please forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

This doesn’t mean I know better. I have no idea what the correct path might be for our country, given the complex nature of the issues we face. But I do know that electing someone who does not respect democracy weakens the institution itself. That’s something I thought we might prevent this time.

I’d love to change the system, to make it more fair and equitable for all. However, we don’t all agree what this means.

What is fair? What is equitable?

How can we ensure that everyone receives the opportunity to fully develop their gifts and talents, contributing to the good of all?

I’m not sure.

But like Kamala said in her concession speech, “the light of America's promise will always burn bright as long as we never give up…”

I don’t think fighting is the answer. I know we say we want to “fight for change” but what if we lived our lives AS the change instead?

I’m tired of fighting.

It exhausts our nervous systems. It creates resistance on the other side. I want to support, and offer small gifts of grace to my loved ones. I want to comfort and protect those who may be less safe after this election. Those who will face even more discrimination and bullying as a result of being led by someone who promotes White Nationalism unapologetically.

I’d like to use the privilege and platform I have to raise others up, as Kamala suggested. In her words:

You have the capacity to do extraordinary good in the world. And so to everyone who is watching, do not despair. This is not a time to throw up our hands. This is a time to roll up our sleeves. This is a time to organize, to mobilize, and to stay engaged for the sake of freedom and justice and the future that we all know we can build together.

Yes.

I want this too. It can happen in quiet ways or louder ones, depending on how we want to be involved, and our personal capacities. It can happen in building local supportive communities around us, neighbors who care for each other.

On Wednesday I followed up on some research, on a threat I’d made in 2015: if HE gets elected, I’ll go live south of the Wall. (Though he never built the wall…). I researched how to become a citizen of Mexico. My Dad was born there, and my Mom was born in Minnesota. It wouldn’t be that hard for me, actually.

But how would escaping the country of my birth serve my community? Is this all it would take to abandon the hope of what our democracy might provide?

No.

I am going to do what I can in my own sphere to love people. To love them fiercely no matter what choices they make. None of us are perfect, myself least of all. But I can show up day-to-day and love my people, and also love all imperfect beings in our midst.

We the people. We the people aspire to freedom, justice, and collective dignity.

Somatic Wisdom is about respecting our bodies, respecting the body of our earth, and honoring the body politic. We can only survive together if we are willing to collaborate through the hard times. That’s what this democratic experiment teaches us.

Even if I could exit to Mexico, I won’t do that now. However, if people in my family become less safe here, I will consider it.

For now, I will rest. I will strategize. I will show up where I can and when I can to serve. I hope you will too.

I know I’m not alone in this. Raise your hand 🙋🏻‍♀️ if you agree that there’s too much entertainment, news, and games on your phone. My drug of choice (of course, as a podcaster) is podcast content. Perhaps it’s not so surprising, given my propensity to love and collect words and ideas. 

So this morning I turned my phone to greyscale at the recommendation of Gretchen Rubin. Her book, Life in Five Senses, gave me the idea.

I don’t know if this will work. But I enjoy experiments that help me figure out better ways to stay present to the people around me.

Yesterday I found myself feeling unable to move forward, in a fog of brain cacophony.

I started judging myself for this habit, feeling bad that I’d gotten stuck. I looked around my home, and realized there were messes in the kitchen, the living room, and my office. I turned away from these messes (that I’d made myself). I just couldn’t face them.

“What’s the next podcast in the queue?” (Translation: how can I avoid that task a little longer?) Maybe I’ll go for a walk instead, to help “motivate” me to get the cleaning done, or at least get started.

When I arrived home, I was in the middle of a particularly interesting exploration of politics and astrology. It was like my brain was hypnotized and unwilling to stop itself. 

When I realized that my internal judge was still being harsh this morning for what I didn’t get done, I said “caught you!” to the judge. It was a moment of lucidity and awareness of the effect that the inner critic (aka: judge) was having on me. It wasn’t motivating. It mired me in regret.

I wrote a letter from love, asking for its guidance on my Judge, Sage, and Saboteurs1. 

Apparently Love and my “Sage” are the best of friends. The Sage is the part that makes decisions based on loving awareness. Some people call this the “Higher Self.” I like to think of it as our “fully embodied self” that goes beyond our ego. This is the wiser capacity of our human nature, that sees not just what is good for us personally, but harmonious for the entire ecosystem.

I’ve been putting in daily “PQ reps” where I pause to engage with my sensory system, sometimes with tactile input. I’ve noticed (again) just how much I’m “in my head” during the day.

That’s no surprise. Since I went to school for Soma Yoga five years ago, I’ve been practicing getting back into my body, waking up to the present. My mind’s preference is to get stuck in “future mode,” planning what needs to happen next.

This planning was useful to my “project management brain,” (PMB) honed through 15+ years of corporate work. When a lot of different details of a project depend on a lot of different people, this skill is useful. Nothing ever goes according to the original plan. Building in margins for unexpected discoveries is part of the plan.

But staying too stuck in PMB mode, we miss what’s right in front of our faces. What’s important now, and the WHY of what we are doing. 

When I over-input with too many podcasts or audio books, or even the 2-4 books I’m typically reading on my bedside table, I forget my senses.

I don’t really taste my tea; it’s merely a caffeine delivery vehicle.

I don’t taste the food I’m ingesting. It’s a utilitarian exercise in keeping my blood sugar steady. 

It’s no wonder why I over-eat somtimes, the joy of eating skipped over to get sh*t done.

The point of our lives isn’t to get somewhere. We know this. It’s to fully arrive, in the place we are, and to truly experience it. This can be difficult if our internal judge isn’t satisfied with this moment, or if our bank account numbers seem to be declining faster than we think is sustainable. 

Fear and stress don’t motivate us. They create pressure, sure. It’s one reason why deadlines galvanize to complete projects. I’ve often tried to generate positive emotions to help magnetize me to the goal rather than pushing.

Maybe I’ve missed the mark on both ends. Positive emotions often get me to imagine an outcome that is unrealistic. I fall short each time (ah, dear judge, you are so clever, aren’t you). Then I’m disappointed. 

What feels more sustainable is to come back to noticing the present. Temperature of the air on my skin, sound of the keyboard as I type, scent of my hand lotion, texture of my clothing2.

All these pauses enhance my enjoyment of the process, without depending on a result.

When the judge starts harping on how many podcasts I’m missing, I can playfully say “gotcha!” Then I return to consciousnes, sanity, and peace. It’s not easy, which is why people call it a practice.

In the meantime, by making the phone less appealing, I make my life more vivid.

Leave a comment

If you haven’t read that one, you may want to read or skim it first. This post reflects upon the decision I made a month ago to start training for a distance run (which I define as anything longer than 5k) for the first time since 2019. 

Given a short timeframe, my plan was to increase my weekend long runs (a staple of training for those planning to go the distance) by 1k each time, starting with 6k and working up to 9k the weekend before the big event.

I opted to run “Galloway” style, in which I ran for intervals then walked for intervals.  My Runkeeper app calls this plogging. Plugging away at covering the distance.

The weekend before the race, I finally re-experienced what I remembered as a runner’s “high.” This seldom ever kicks in before I’ve gone at least 4-5 miles. That’s when things start feeling good. This time, the endorphins flowed in around 50 minutes in, and about 18 minutes before I finished that run in ~68 minutes. 

That happy feeling lasted all day, in fact. I recalled why I trained for so many 10 milers and half marathons. I don’t get that feeling with shorter races. A 5k is barely a warm-up for me. I’ve never been fast. 5 kilometer runs are over before I feel any noticeable elevation in my overall mental state. The good stuff comes only after we’ve trained to go at least 5 miles. 

This feeling was like a big “gong” waking up crusty memory banks:

Remember? Remember why you loved this? This beautiful rinse of the “gunk” building up in your neurons? The feeling you’ve been washed clean of your worries?  It was here all along. You just forgot while 2020 kicked your ass. It’s okay, sweetie, you’re home. 

Share

At the Medtronic TC weekend, I noticed people of all abilities, ages, and running speeds. Many were walking at the start, like my friend Val and me, determined to begin with half a kilometer of fast walking to warm-up, not get ahead of ourselves. 

We decided the day before to carpool to Saturday’s events, since parking can be an issue. She planned to run 1 minute intervals and walk 2 minute intervals. I’d reversed that in my own training, typically running twice the distance that I was walking. But I told her I’d run with her for the first kilometer or two. If I was feeling good, I planned to run my own race. 

It’s very important, if you run with another person, that you talk this stuff out before the event. In the past, friends have wanted to run with me during a race. During the Fargo Half in 2011, two friends started out running with me. After a couple miles, I got very annoyed by the talking. 

This is a RACE, not a training run for me. I want to focus, not chat. I was grateful when one friend needed to use the restroom and the other stopped with her. “I’ll see you at the finish!” I shouted and waved, as I put pedal to the metal around mile 5. 

We all need to run our own races. 

If running with a friend is your preference, then that’s YOUR race too. But when it comes to challenging yourself, and meeting your goal, you owe yourself the liberty of going for it. Or you can let a better trained friend go on ahead. 

Back in 2019 I did this with my a friend at the Grandma’s Half in Duluth.  I loved running with her. We had both run this particular Half multiple times. I was undertrained that season. Yoga school had kept my joints supple, but I wasn’t working the plan that Spring.

Around mile four, I told her: You’ve got this! It’s been great running with you, but you need to do your thing! She gave me a huge high five and a bright smile. She went for it, and finished ~14 minutes ahead of me. Outstanding! She’s nine years older and a total badass. 💥

Racing is not about winning. 

Or at least not for me. I count a finish as a win. I challenge myself to see how how fast I can go that day. I often trained with friends. We went for coffee (or sometimes brunch) after our weekend long runs. Sometimes I just went for a nice, cleansing long run on my own, with music or with nature as my companion.

It felt great afterward. I’d gotten it done. Working a training plan has an effect on you. It helps you realize that every goal must be broken into steps. Nothing is gained overnight. Then, over weeks and months? You start to see your body get stronger, and often faster. 

This 10k was the slowest “official” race I have done in a long time. Yet crossing the finish line felt amazing. I congratulated Val when she finished and walked her to the start corral for her next event, 5k. Then I cheered for her and others as they came in. 

***

Just one month of training, running twice a week.

What if I actually put in more months ahead of my next race? I already noticed slight improvements in my pace each week. I love that post-run feeling after a 5+ mile run! Do I even need a race on the calendar to keep that up? Perhaps the intrinsic reward is enough. 

Having tasted the happy brain chemicals I’ve been missing in recent years, I found my courage returning as well. How might I “work the plan” in other areas of my life? I’m eager to find out.

Leave a comment

This is what my friend Randy Kottke told me back in 2010, when we were introduced. He departed this earth in 2019, but his wisdom lives on. 

Audio/podcast version of this post

Then I was running away from a boss who tended to dump work on me. I was running toward a new boyfriend (the runner that introduced me to Randy). I feared my heart would get broken (again) but I ran anyway. I ran alongside him when I could keep up.

I ran away from a relationship in which I’d fallen into old patterns once again, not seeing how I’d wanted to “save” this person. I ran headlong into my own shadow, projected onto him. I ran toward my desire for stability, only to find myself doubting my worthiness and my lovability. 

Running was something I had discovered in my teens. It was a way to burn off stress, and a way to take off the pounds I believed were excessive. I’d come from a family of dieters, women who were slightly overweight (at the time) who wanted to be “better” (translation: thinner). 

They were shamed for their sloth, for their hunger, for their desire for something better in their lives. They ran from the voices telling them they were too fat. They ran toward the diet plans that the fitness industry was all too eager to sell them. 

They didn’t realize that their daughters were watching, and listening, and internalizing the fat phobia that they saw as striving for goodness. 

Today I run from anyone who judges my body as too fat, or not their type. Before I met my current husband, I was in a relationship in which I was told: “you’re not the usual type of woman I date.” I understood that he meant his previous wife and girlfriends were thinner than me.

I’d been running on and off for years, and bicycling as well. I enjoyed the feeling of building up my endurance and feeling proud of how well I did after a race. Then, in 2007 I joined a company where a lot more people were running than I’d ever known before. Sponsor of the Twin Cities Marathon and its signature 10-miler, I couldn’t help but get drawn into the cult…(ahem) culture there. 

Subscribe now

The running community became my friends. While using DailyMile, I tracked my workouts, and saw my progress in graphic formats. The clinical researcher in me was impressed with myself. Watching incremental progress in my long runs every weekend felt great. Getting faster over time was also a boost. 

I ran toward strength physically, but also emotionally. Though workdays were stressful, I had a way to “run it out” of my system. I ran from the notion that my body had to be thin to be acceptable. I ran toward the idea that endurance was available to me, despite a body that was larger than average.

Maybe I ran to get affirmation in an area where I hadn’t had it before. I was no athlete in high school, though I ran my first 5k turkey trot when I was 16 and finished first in my age group. It’s a trophy I still treasure. 

In 2010, my then-boyfriend (now husband) Clem got obsessed with the Marathon Maniacs. I was running half marathons. What was the harm in joining the Half Fanatics? My membership page still lists 27 of the 28 races I completed that were half marathons or longer. This obsession cooled in 2015 as I got promoted to a manager role at work, and traveled more internationally. 

I kept running 10-milers though. I also signed up for a “last gasp” half in 2019 because my friends were making the trip also. I ran toward community, though I was finding this in other ways, in yoga studios, and through online writing groups.

Running helped me feel free from the confines of my “little” self. I was part of a much larger community, a group that had become friends. It helped me appreciate how I could support other people’s goals, and that we could mutually benefit from holding each other accountable.

Running brought me romance, blisters, sex, injuries, and hotels rooms in cities I never thought I would visit. It brought me to Clem, and helped me realize our relationship went far beyond the miles we logged on our tracking apps. 

I ran toward a more loving relationship with my body, mind, and soul. And am I still grateful for it. 

But in 2020 most races were canceled, and I didn’t want to gather in big groups. I had no desire to spend my money on race registration fees. It felt indulgent and unnecessary. I was on a tighter budget.

Also I no longer need to burn off the stress I’d felt while working in a competitive corporate environment. In recent years my now 50-year-old body dances and does yoga, less competitive and kinder to my joints than running on pavement.

However, two weeks ago, after many years of skipping the race scene, I signed up for the Twin Cities 10k only 4 weeks out. I’d had just tracked a friend running the Superior 100 Ultramarathon. I was excited watching his progress online. I shared this with a friend who will run the Loony Challenge, a 10k, 5k, and 10-miler all in one weekend. All it took was my friend giving me a discount code and encouraging me to come out of running retirement to sign up.

The next morning, I felt like I’d woken up from a hangover. What had I done, signing up for this race?!?  I have run only sporadically over the summer, typically only 4k or 5k at most, with generous walk breaks. I walk daily, but that’s not the same as running.  

Now, with two weeks to go until the 10k, and my longest training run/walk to date at 8k, I wonder: 

Am I running toward something? 

Yes. My own vitality and good feelings. My connection with friends during a challenging time in my life. My desire to exit my physical comfort zone once again. 

Am I running away from something?

Yes. My fears of physical decline as I watch my elderly parents age. And the grief of knowing my Dad’s not likely to return from the care home where he is now. 

What are you running or moving toward these days?

Are you running away from anything?

How does it feel to be propelled by a goal, versus escaping a difficult situation? 

Leave a comment

P.S. I’ll check back in after the race (Oct 5, 2024) to let you know how it went, and if I got what I needed from the event.

It’s been a moment. Did any of you tune into parts of the recent political convention? Oh goodness, how exciting (for me, anyway). 🇺🇸

My friend Laura recently reminded me to go easy on myself for not writing here for a month. A whirlwind of time disappears when we are caring for elders, children, or just doing life, right?

When someone told me the Minnesota State Fair started yesterday, I stared blankly at them. What?🙀 Here in (future VP) Tim Walz’ state, we mark time based on our-end-of-summer ritual.

My husband and I used to pick a day we thought would be the least crowded, drive to the park-and-ride and take one of the shuttles. We would get in very early, hit our favorite food spots, and head out by noon. 🥒 🌽 🍪

Neither of us love crowds. This is why we have the dream to someday move to the woodsy acres we bought back in 2019 near the north shore of Lake Superior.

It will take resources, time, and money to build it, but we are giving ourselves time. My husband’s been spending nearly every free moment on the project. He’s not great at pausing, except while lounging with the cats after work.

“I’ve got sh*t” to do,” is his favorite phrase. ❗️

I get that. I used to feel that way also. But something about watching my nearly 82-year-old father fade away is making me feel differently about time.

Racing around to get things done is part of what I do when I visit my parents. But some of the time I remember to pause and listen. It might feel more “natural” for me to check off things on a to-do list (like Mom taught me). Often what Mom needs most is to be heard, and to connect, even when her hearing aids make that difficult. 🦻🏻

Saturday we attend a funeral for my husband’s cousin (who was 62). Services often help me realize how much I appreciate the quality of time when I slow down. It’s not easy in our world of “instant everything” to slow down. It’s countercultural. It’s radical.

Yet pacing ourselves is probably the only way we can truly enjoy our lives. Even if we are worried about politics or democrazy. Even though we pledged hours to support a campaign. Even when we have sh*t to do.

What are you doing to pause this summer?

What activities in your life might benefit from a slowdown?

How are you honoring the precious moments of connection in your life?

***

I’d love to hear your favorite rituals to enjoy the quality of your life and time.

Leave a comment

This post is going to be short. I’m hoping for feedback, ideas, and thoughts from you on what helps you thrive at work.

Maybe you consider yourself neurotypical. But somehow, I suspect if you are interested in somatic wisdom, you might not be.

Why do I think this?

Subscribe now

I guess it’s because most neurospicy folks I know live in our heads a lot of the time. Whether we have ADHD (raising my hand), are on the autism spectrum, have struggled with depression or anxiety, or may consider ourselves highly sensitive, we now suspect getting back into our bodies is the answer. Nobody ever taught us this. Maybe we had to learn it through multiple burnouts (hand up again).

For me, getting grounded into my body through breath, yoga, journaling, walking, and solitude, etc, is not optional. It is required nourishment. Post COVID era, if I ever return to a more “traditional” workplace, I will have a much higher standard for what I expect from an employer.

I don’t accept the explanation that “you have to be in the office 2-4 days a week because everyone else does it.” Does everyone have the same needs? Does everyone have the same skills? Does everyone have the same nervous system?

Workplaces and bosses that treat people like adults are still sadly rare. I guess it’s why I’ve opted out of going back(so far). But often I deeply crave a part-time “gig” that allows me to contribute regularly, adds structure my week, and provides a foundation for my other endeavors (second book project, coaching, public speaking, etc).

I wouldn’t mind a cube where I could work a 2-3 days a week! Co-working spaces can be expensive when income is more seasonal than regular. Thus, a sponsor for dedicated space would be amazing. A couple days away from the laundry and dishes that call to me while working from home? Priceless!

Given elder care and other responsibilities, flexibility is paramount for neurospicy folk. However, I miss working on a team where I feel deeply committed to work that makes a difference. I suppose many of us are on a quest for this kind of environment.

I’m curious, for those of you deeply interested in “somatic wisdom” and nurturing the needs of your body and soul:

What qualities do you desire in the workplace of your dreams?

I would love to know in the comments below.

Do you currently work in a traditional job? If so, what do you love about it? If not, why not? Are there parameters that could make it work for you?

Are you looking for that “anchor” gig that makes your other creative aspirations possible? If so, how many days or hours would you spend there each month?

Thanks in advance for give me a window into how you think about this!

Also, if you might interested in submitting an essay on this topic for my current project (probably a book, but might also be a podcast series), please reach out via direct message or in the comments below. Mil gracias!

Leave a comment

It was a medical related question, and I knew if I stopped to search, I’d be fed a list of possible resources, some sponsored, and some organic. The tilt of Google offerings always brings up questions in me, an inherent distrust of external contructors of knowledge.

I gave myself a beat before typing the inquiry into the search bar, and went back to writing. My busy brain tried to tell me I’d lose track of this entry, that I’d forget to come back to it, better do it now.

Hush, I said. Writing.

It poked at the back of my brain a few more times, and now I’m resisting the urge just for fun, to see how long I can wait.

Oddly, I know the answer to the question, internally, without having to Google it. The body is wise, and it does what it believes will protect the system. (Though if you listen to my recent conversation with Ben Borchert, you might realize we don’t *always* have to heed our bodies when it comes to public speaking).

Don't Trust Your Body - SW pod

How long have I known this answer, the ungoogleable one (and this is actually a WORD now with googleable definition).

How many other truths are waiting to be discovered within, beyond the depths of what we can search the world to find?

Most of us cannot even imagine these depths until we let ourselves become quiet, allow our inner voices to speak. The cacophony can be wild at first, which is probably why so many of us avoid it.

Patterns emerge, subpersonalities, critics, exiled parts, and the managers and firefighters that try to help us get through our days.

Beyond all that, a fully integrated Self awaits. (I’m using language from Internal Family Systems, aka IFS, a framework coined by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph.D).

This Self goes beyond all the conditioned parts and pieces that rise up when we are hungry, angry, lonely, and tired, especially. The Self is in connection with the divine. It is the part of us that can never be traumatized, the witness, the ever-present and compassionate part of us.

It’s probably the presence that writes to me when I do my “Letters from Love” practice. It contains all the wisdom of my experiences, and those of my ancestors, and can probably tap universal wisdom as well.

This deep truth never be accessed by social media, web-crawling A.I., or even the words and thoughts I’ve written in my journal 98% of the time. It is unreachable to Google, unavailable when I’m being critiqued, inconceivable to many.

Yet it is this elusive presence that brings me back to peace, again and again.

A dear friend of mine writes “Truth Takes Time” and I often resonate deeply with Patrick’s words. Maybe this is why astrology often resonates. Truth doesn’t obey a linear timeframe. It spirals out, like our very galaxy and universe, showering and scattering light in many directions.

It’s the ungoogleable truths we must know. Yet we crave a quick fix of someone else’s interpretations.

A few truths to immerse yourself in this season:

The truth of your BEING, beyond the doing.

The truth of the sensation when you’re enjoying the company of a loved one, or a pet.

The truth of your connection to all matter, spirit, energy, and essence.

The truth of your body, in this moment, with this breath. Everything is okay, even if there are unpaid bills, or worries about elderly parents. Set those aside for a moment, and allow your quiet being to nourish you.

Our deep resilience as small creatures on this vast planet, in this world of our own perceiving, and thus meaning-making.

Truths allowed to flow from your pen or your voice when the mind can quiet its endless tirade.

***

What truths emerge for you when you allow yourself to get quiet?

Leave a comment

***

If your inner parts are getting in the way of allowing your full and integrated Self, you may try working with energetic clearing. My friend Patrick offers a beautiful space called the Energy Lab. You can read more on his Substack, and the next offering is July 9, 2024.

Also, my friend Stephanie Lindloff, who has been offering a series called Reclaim Your Peace with Nature on the Somatic Wisdom podcast, has free 1:1 breakthrough sessions available via her coaching practice at Our Natural Wisdom.