📌 "You need experience to get a job, but you need a job to get experience".

If you've ever tried to switch careers, you know this paradox all too well.

👩‍🔬 After years in healthcare as a clinical laboratory scientist, I took a leap into UX design, driven by the need for better digital experiences in healthcare. I put in the work- certification, capstone projects and long hours refining my case studies- but here's the reality no one tells you: even entry-level UX roles often ask for years of experience.

👩‍💻 And I get it. Hiring managers want to minimize risk, to bring on people who already know the ropes. But how do career changers prove themselves when the door barely cracks open?

The truth is, we do have experience- just not in the traditional way. Healthcare taught me to think critically, solve complex problems and design processes that impact real lives. UX is an extension of that, just through a different lens.

🗣️ So to anyone else making this shift- keep going. Keep learning, keep refining your story and most importantly, keep knocking on doors. The right one will open.

If you're made the transition (or are trying to), I'd love to hear- what helped you break through?

“Stop being too nice because people will take advantage of you.”

I don’t know about you but this world must be fckd up AF for people to end up saying “just stop being nice” instead of “stop being an a$$hole”.

In a situation where you’re just being genuinely nice then someone took that to his or her advantage, it tells more about that person’s character. Not yours.

You being nice. You being kind. You being patient with people. You trying to be there for those who matter to you. You exerting efforts for the people you love. You giving an extra hand to help your workmate. You staying up another hour to hear out your friend because apparently she’s having a bad day.

This is not a flaw. This is a gift. The world needs more people like you. Let the a$$holes be a$$holes. You don’t have to change your heart for these people. If someone mistreats you, it is his/her loss.

Not ever yours.

my workmate and i had a random conversation that turned into a deep one. hot topic: narcissistic people.

we were talking about toxic relationships and i mentioned,

“i used to date this guy, and i remember thinking maybe i’m going insane because the gaslighting and love bombing were so bad. i remember feeling like i was being wronged, but at the end of every argument, somehow i was the one who felt like i was wrong?”

she then started pointing out the patterns in my story and told me what she learned about narcissistic people based on her own experience.

1. there’s this idea that narcissistic people are attracted to empaths. both may carry their own wounds, sometimes even from childhood, but the difference is in what they do with that pain. an empath can go through pain and become hyperaware of other people’s feelings because they don’t want others to experience what they experienced. sometimes they do this with almost no boundaries, just to make sure everyone else is comfortable. meanwhile, someone with strong narcissistic traits may use their own pain to justify how they treat or hurt other people.

2. narcissistic people don’t necessarily date “weak” people or the ones who are easy to manipulate. sometimes, they actually go after people they see as strong, independent, smart, beautiful, the ones who are loved by a lot of people, the ones who have qualities they wish they had themselves. they date them and gradually crush those parts of them. that’s where they get their power.

3. a narc can show so much interest in you and do all these grand gestures to win you over, but sometimes, they’re also studying you. they’re studying what makes you feel loved, what you’re insecure about, what you crave, what you tolerate, what gets a reaction out of you. they learn your soft spots. and the same things they once used to make you feel incredibly loved can later become the things they use to control you or hurt you.

4. so now, after you leave a narc and go into a normal, healthy relationship, you can feel lost because you no longer get that constant dopamine hit from someone showering you with grand gestures and love bombing. you no longer feel like someone’s entire world revolves around you. but normal people actually have a lot going on in their own lives. they can love you deeply without making their entire existence about you.

wow. wow. wow.

i don’t think i’ve ever had an aha moment like that in my life.

then eventually, i asked my workmate how she knew all these things. her answer?

“well, i’m married to one.”

Below are a few quotes, sayings, messages, and little pieces of wisdom from random authors, bloggers, websites, and friends that I wrote down to remind myself that no matter how awful things get—girl, “it’s part of growing up”

Here’s the truth about big life changes: some people won’t come with you, and that’s okay.

We all have that someone we already imagine spending six days of our week with. We cling to these people and make plans around them. We make the effort, make time, spend money, pour our hearts out—and sometimes, somewhere along the journey, we lose them.

Guess what? It’s okay.

They say people come into our lives because they have a role to play, and they leave when that role is done. But I don’t think this is something that should make you bitter. If anything, maybe there’s a little relief in accepting that sometimes, it’s okay.

Of course it’s sad. We feel torn between accepting what’s meant to be and believing that if you really want someone in your life, you should go and chase them.

But sometimes the best thing you can do is leave the door open.

Either you’re with me or you’re not.

There’s something from Isa Garcia’s The Staying Philosophy that stayed with me: “when people need to leave, let them. Let them have adventures without you. Let them see what exists beyond the little world you shared. And maybe what matters isn’t simply whether someone stays, but whether they eventually choose to find their way back.”

It doesn’t matter if people don’t understand your decisions or trust your choices. You are trying to live your life, not explain it.

Trying to live your days based on other people’s idea of HOW TOs, DOs and DON’Ts will eventually suck out your own sunshine. The world will always have something to say anyway.

Refuse to explain why you had coffee with this guy or why you broke up with your Starbucks lover. If you don’t feel like sharing—or your so-called friends don’t buy your reasons? then why bother?

One gentle reminder: at the end of the day, all you really have is yourself.

You decide your happiness. Not them. Life is too short not to live it as you please.

One of the hardest things we eventually have to learn is how to accept.

There’s a quote from T.B. LaBerge about how loving someone sometimes means accepting that you may not be what’s best for them. And that is one hell of a lesson to learn.

Sometimes things fall apart and, unfortunately, they don’t always fall neatly into your hands. One of the worst feelings in the world is having to doubt something you once thought was unquestionable. Then you start asking for explanations and searching for answers as if getting one will somehow solve everything. We keep hoping that if we understand why, everything will finally make sense.

But the truth is, no matter what’s the answer, sometimes it won’t make sense. at all.

Maybe what’s missing isn’t explanation. Maybe it’s acceptance.

We have to stop living with the idea that the world will always rearrange itself for us. It won’t. If something isn’t meant for you, then go find the next button.

Be comfortable with the idea of waiting.

When it’s too sad, cry. When it’s too heartbreaking, feel it. When it’s too confusing, rethink. When it’s too suffocating, leave. Do yourself a favor and comfort your soul. And if you have to stay there for a while, then stay.

We should stop trying so hard to be okay, to look okay, to feel okay.

Things like this take time. If you are patient enough with yourself, eventually you will be. Rebuild yourself when you feel ready. Stand up again when you have the strength. Move on when you feel it’s time to turn the page. Start again when you’re ready for the next chapter.

Don’t be too hard on yourself.

We fall down. We get back up. Sometimes we fall even harder, and then somehow, we get back up again. At your own pace, in your own time, you will be fine.

“Sometimes when you lose your way, you find yourself.” — Mandy Hale

Be your own hero.

Someone once said that strength doesn’t come from never being broken, but from having the courage to grow strong in the broken places. I say it’s learning how to be your own hero and save that lil heart.

Find your joy. Follow your guts.

If everything feels like more than fifty shades of gray areas, then be your own ray of sunshine. No more late-night crying. No more tearjerker movie nights with Kleenex. No more sad-feeling post on socials.

It’s time to put on your red lippy and text your closest friend for a catch-up coffee gossip. You can’t stay in the woods forever. The moment you see even a glimpse of a meadow, look at that grass like it’s your green traffic light.

The good hope.

There’s a line from Breanna Sipple I once loved about how someday, someone won’t be afraid of how deeply you love. They won’t stay safely by the shore; they’ll meet you in the depths.

I still like that idea.

When the time is right, when you least expect it, maybe when you’re not even looking for it, someone will come into your life. Maybe not to explain why everything before them didn’t work out, but simply to give your book another chapter.

Maybe for a while.

Maybe for good.

Remember? You left your door open.

You’re not supposed to shut people out, but you have every right in the world to be choose who gets to come in.

After all, a lot of growing up happened already, right?

My friends think my life’s quite fancy because of all my travels while my parents think I’m a huge spender for buying all these plane tickets instead of putting them into the bank. I don’t want to justify or explain myself based on what you see, on what you think or what you know but I will gladly share you a piece of my perspective if you will ask me “why?”.

They say your 20’s are your prime years. You’re young, you’re healthy, you can do anything at this stage, be anyone you want to be, you can make mistakes then learn from it. Jack Ma once said “this is the part where you just have to enjoy the show”. As for me, I’d like to use the word “Invest”. This is the era where we have all the energy in the world to invest - may it be in stocks, in properties, in companies or yes, in yourself.

I’ve been so vocal about my love for traveling and though it’s not as frequent as a travel blogger or someone who can just afford to book a trip on a monthly basis (in terms of cash & time), I am very much proud of my journey. I guess this is my version of “ME time”.

We all can’t figure out what’s in store for us on the months or years to come - where will life take us, who will be with us by that time and so on. So use your time wisely and wait actively while everything is still uncertain. This is the stage where we are most capable of shaping ourselves, honing our minds, breaking boundaries and loving radically. Exhaust your energy to things that make you feel good. Whatever it is, chase it. Whatever it is, I want you to know it’s valid.

I was in Taipei this time and I bought a really cute post card. I wrote a little something and mailed it to your address in Manila.

At that point, our communication is already on and off. I tried to give you an excuse which I know is valid because you were preparing for the bar exam. I gave you space. I stopped reaching out even though I thought,

“we could’ve been something”.

We only had one dinner together. First and last apparently. I remember being so impressed by how attentive you are. You noticed that there’s something floating on my water so you asked the server for a new one before I even said anything. I came out of a bad relationship that time so that small gesture made me think, “wait, men can do this?”

I think that was the first time a guy made me feel taken care of, so me and my little silly heart took that one dinner and ran with it.

I was in the process of moving to the states that time for my career but I knew in my heart, if you asked me to just stay instead, I would.

But then you ghosted me.

Few days became weeks then weeks turned to months. I was confused because you just disappeared but I still tried to wait.. and wait.. Where the hell is my post card anyways? Why is it taking too long to get to you?

I eventually moved on and all of a sudden, after almost a year, you started reaching out to me.. sending me DMs, reacting to my posts, you even told me you like me better with my short hair..

Trust. If these happened several months back, I’d be over the moon and will be so kilig.

Except by then, I knew in myself I have already moved on.

October 3, 2019

The post card finally arrived in your mailbox.

TWO YEARS. IT TOOK TWO YEARS.

The funny part is

1. it was your mom who saw and read it first. bat di na lang talaga bumukas ang lupa at kunin ako ng buo?

2. it took too long that i already forgot what i actually wrote in there. all i remember was “i wish you were here”

The truth is.. when I mailed it to you, I was banking on that post card hoping that once you get it, you will change your mind. Maybe you will start talking to me again. Maybe you will realize that there’s a potential here.

Yet it was two years too late.

December 22, 2019

You sent me a long message in my socials. You apologized for disappearing. You finally explained why you pulled away. You told me you are now ready and willing to give long distance a chance. You asked me for another chance.

The problem is.. just like my post card, you were late. one day late.

December 21, 2019

I had officially started dating someone (who is now my husband)

Looking at everything now, I realized something I didn’t understand back then:

I wasn’t really holding onto us.

I was holding on to the possibility of us.

I took a good connection that felt promising and built a future around it.

A future where I stayed, where we tried and where it worked.

Potential is funny like that. It can feel so real when you want it badly enough.

At some point, we need to look for what’s actually present.

And what’s actually there?

One dinner. A lot of silence. A post card that took two years to arrive. And really, really bad timing.

I started pottery at 35.

I have a full-time job, a pretty full life, and honestly enough things to do already. So naturally, I thought… you know what I need? Another hobby. :p

Some of my friends joke that I collect hobbies outside of my healthcare career and I can’t even defend myself because they’re right. I’ve always been drawn to paintings, music, photos, writing, whatever lets you take something that exists in your head and turn it into something tangible.

This time, it happened to be clay.

I signed up for a beginner pottery class with zero experience, some adult money to pay for it, and a shtload of curiosity. I even made a separate Instagram, @claydaysbyv, to document the whole thing. When I started the page, I wrote:

maybe i’ll end up making beautiful pieces.
maybe i’ll make a lot of ugly bowls.
this could be a lifelong hobby or a three-month hyperfixation?

I feel like I’ve adulted too hard I forgot how much I missed just playing.

So if you’ve been telling yourself you want to find a hobby but you’re 30-something, working full-time, already busy, and have no idea where to start, here’s what I’ve learned so far.

1. Start with whatever makes you curious

You don’t have to find your thing. We’re picking a hobby, not a husband.

Think about the thing you keep saying you want to try. The class you keep saving. The videos you always stop scrolling for. That random activity you saw another woman doing and thought, wait, I wanna do that.

Start there. ▶️

For me, it was pottery. I had no idea whether I would be good at it or if I’d even like it enough to continue. Curiosity is enough of a reason to begin.

2. Accept that you’re probably going to suck

I remember watching our instructor center the clay for the first time and thinking, okay??? that looks doable. Then it was my turn. It was, in fact, not that doable.

That’s what makes learning something new so fun.

As adults, we’re so used to doing things we already know how to do. Especially when you’ve been in your career for years, you’re used to being competent. Then you willingly put yourself somewhere you’re allowed to know absolutely nothing. It’s humbling lol.

Make the ugly bowl. You’ll be fine.

3. Don’t find time. Make some.

I don’t magically have more free time because I started pottery. I still work full-time. I am married, I try to workout, I have errands, plans and days when I’d much rather stay on the couch. So I don’t wait until I have an entire free day to be creative. Sometimes the hobby gets two hours. And honestly? That’s enough.

Put the class on your calendar. Pick one evening a week. Give yourself a Saturday morning once a month.

Your hobby doesn’t have to consume your life to become part of it.

4. Pick something that has nothing to do with your job

I’m a laboratory scientist. My work requires accuracy, procedures, precision and knowing what I’m doing. Then I go to the studio and put my hands in mud.

I love that contrast.

Pottery uses a completely different part of me, and I don’t think I realized how much I needed that until I found myself back in a creative space again.

If you stare at screens all day, maybe make something with your hands. If you spend your entire day talking to people, maybe find something quiet. If your job requires you to always know the answer, go somewhere you’re allowed to ask really dumb questions.

Your hobby doesn’t need to make you better at your job. Actually, maybe let it have absolutely nothing to do with it.

5. Please don’t monetize it immediately

This one is for me too btw.

You make one decent thing and suddenly: Should I sell these?

Girl. 😭

We’re living in a time where almost anything can become content, a side hustle, a brand or another source of income. And maybe one day your hobby does become something bigger.

But can we be bad at it first?

Right now, I don’t need pottery to make me money. I need pottery to teach me pottery. Not everything we enjoy needs to become productive.

You are allowed to spend time and money on something simply because you like doing it. I always say, “why do we work?” —So you can be whimsical ✨

6. Let yourself hyperfixate

Maybe your new hobby becomes something you do for the next 30 years. Maybe you do it for six months and suddenly decide you’re a film photography girl now.

Both are fine.

I don’t think an interest has to last forever for it to have been worth exploring. The goal isn’t necessarily to find the one hobby you’ll have for the rest of your life.

Maybe the goal is just to stay curious.

So here’s my little assignment for you:

Think about the thing you’ve been saying you want to try. Find one beginner class.

Book it. 👩🏽‍💻

Go alone if you have to. Ask questions. Be awkward. Make something ugly.

And if you hate it? Okay. Now you know.

Remember, It’s not that deep. It’s not that serious :)

♡
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