“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord.”

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.”

“For I know the plans I have for you.”

I always knew those verses, I could quote them. But somehow when it was my turn to actually live and apply them, I got amnesia.

I’ve spent months mad at God because things weren’t working out how I wanted them to.

The truth is, I’m just now learning to release control (not that I ever had it anyway) and really sit in the passenger seat. Let God drive and enjoy the ride. Even when the ride gets bumpy, there’s traffic, or the route looks nothing like what I expected.

Not long ago, I was working in Cleveland. God blessed me with a great job in my late 20s. I was finally doing well financially, and I felt like I was starting to hit a good stride in my career. I was anchoring weekday evenings while also reporting in the same shift.

It was exactly what I had asked God for in that season.

But after a while, the job became draining.

I felt like I had outgrown the role. At the same time, I was trying to balance a long-distance relationship with the demands of my career. I had reached a point where I felt like I’d hit a ceiling at my station.

I wanted more in my career, and I wanted to be closer to the woman I was dating at the time. I also believed I was ready (and well-qualified) to work in a major news market.

I interviewed for weekday and weekend anchor jobs in major markets. I became a finalist several times.

And somehow, I got none of the jobs. Huh?????

Everything would seem to go great, and then suddenly I’d get ghosted.

The position would be put on hold.

Or they moved on with another candidate.

It honestly felt like a supernatural force was pushing me away from opportunities I was more than qualified for. (spoiler alert: it was.)

I was furious with God.

I was hungry for more success in my career, and my relationship was on life support. I genuinely believed getting closer geographically would save it.

I begged God for a new job.

I also begged God to move me closer to the woman I was dating.

None of it was happening. So instead, I got angry.

“As much as I look out for everyone else...”

“As much as I try to be a good person...”

“How many times I gotta keep asking for the same thing? Are you gonna do it or not?” (Incredibly entitled and ungrateful, right?)

This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way, especially when it comes to my career.

I’m a control freak. I’ve always been that way. If I’m not in control, I get nervous because I believe I can trust myself even if everybody else drops the ball. When it comes to work, it’s even worse...

I always have everything mapped out. Every move is intentional and meticulous. And when life doesn’t go according to my plan, I get frustrated with God. As if God has ever dropped the ball???

Eventually, the relationship didn’t work out. In hindsight, it wasn’t supposed to, and that’s okay. I believe that’s part of the reason God never wanted me where I thought I was supposed to be. It was a hard pill to swallow at the time.

The jobs I thought I wanted? They didn’t work out either. They weren’t supposed to, and that’s okay too.

Eventually, one by one, God showed me what He had been saving me from.

Some of the managers who interviewed me were eventually fired, or I later learned the newsrooms were toxic.

The job I eventually got was better than a lot of the ones I was upset I didn’t get.

Thank God he didn’t give me what I thought I deserved!

Because in time he showed me he wasn’t denying me, he was protecting me.

We get so angry when God redirects us away from people, places, and opportunities we think we deserve.

But what if the very thing you’re begging God for would eventually have you right back on the prayer line, asking him to rescue you from it.

Or what if God plans to give you what you want, but first he has to mature you so you don’t fumble what he has prepared for you?

The truth is...

Even when things aren’t working out... they’re STILL working out.

All means exactly that.

All!

When the job doesn’t work out... better is ahead.

When the relationship doesn’t work out... there’s a reason why.

When the opportunity falls through, take a breath. God already has it handled. You just haven’t arrived.

And here’s the part I’ve had to accept.

We’re never in the driver’s seat. We don’t even have the license. We gaslight ourselves into believing we have complete control.

We don’t.

Usually, we’re aiming lower than what he’s preparing for us anyway.

What if the thing you keep asking God for is actually beneath what he wants for you?

That means God’s plans for your life are bigger than your imagination can even conjure.

It’s hard to trust a blueprint you’ve never seen.

But when you know the Architect, the Builder, and the Contractor are all in one person, why are you worried about the outcome?

Nowadays, when something doesn’t go according to my plan, I just thank God for His protection.

If I’m running late or miss an exit... maybe the inconvenience is actually protection.

If an opportunity doesn’t work out... “Well, God, thank you anyway. That must mean it wasn’t mine. Somebody else was supposed to have that. I trust You have something better.”

And he always does.

Stop getting frustrated because life didn’t unfold the way you expected. It’s already done anyway, we just haven’t arrived.

So thank him while you’re standing in the hallway.

Because whatever is behind the door you’re actually supposed to walk through will probably be far greater than anything you were trying to force open yourself.

The scariest place to be, is outside of God’s will. So let him drive.

Don’t judge me. Pray for me.

— Laun

As oxymoronic as it sounds, I’m not the biggest fan of talking about myself or sharing my business— especially with people I don’t know.

Yeah, I know lol. Talking is literally one of the main things I do for a living.

Every morning, I wake up and speak on television to nearly eight million people across one of the largest metropolitan areas in America. But as big of a personality as people see on TV, I’m actually far more introverted than most realize.

After talking on air for five hours (sometimes more), I’m usually drained. I need silence. I need to recharge.

For years, I gave viewers just enough of my personality to do the job. Part of that came from spending much of my career anchoring and reporting evening news, where there isn’t much room for personality anyway. It was easy to hide behind ‘the script’.

Moving to Houston and anchoring morning television forced me to become a different version of DaLaun, a version that had always been there but never made it on air. The extra, churchy, sarcastic DaLaun. The version my family and closest friends have always known. But that version doesn’t show up immediately. It takes trust. It takes time. There are probably a few reasons for that... and I’m sure we’ll unpack them eventually.

So when I felt God continually nudging me to start a Substack, I ignored Him. Actually... I argued with Him.

“Lord... I talk enough. Give me a break.”

“What am I even going to write about?”

“Will anybody even care?”

“Why do I need to do this?”

“And You know I don’t like putting my business out there.”

Transparency has never really come naturally to me. I’ve been burned by people I trusted. I’ve opened up to friends only to have my vulnerability mishandled. I’ve shared struggles hoping someone would pray for me, only to be judged instead. I’ve even had people use my own testimony as ammunition against me later.

So why would I willingly become more transparent with people I don’t even know?

I’m still figuring that out.

But for whatever reason, God wants me here.

I’m 32, and I spent nearly all of my twenties chasing the next opportunity, climbing the career ladder, and moving to four different states across the country.

Looking back, I realize I became so focused on becoming the man everyone else saw on television… the journalist who held the powerful accountable, gave a voice to the voiceless, broke stories that changed laws, and informed tens of thousands of viewers that I often neglected becoming the man God was trying to shape behind the scenes.

I was committed to the grind. I knew God had my back, and I trusted His plan for my life. But trusting God’s plan isn’t the same as intentionally walking with Him. Looking back, I wasn’t as committed to my relationship with Him as I should have been.

I’ve never actually admitted that publicly until now.

Somehow God kept blessing me anyway. He kept opening doors. He kept protecting me.

He never took His hand off my life even while I was (and still am) learning to fully surrender him.

This season feels different. Less about climbing, more about becoming.

I’m learning what stability looks like. What rest looks like. What it means to build an identity that isn’t anchored in ratings, contracts, promotions, a good salary, but in Christ. In stillness.

And maybe that’s why I’m here.

Maybe someone else is trying to figure out who they are after spending years finding their identity in success.

Maybe someone else is trying to rebuild a relationship with God after quietly drifting. Maybe you grew up as a pastor's kid like I did, and somewhere along the way you became better at performing your faith than pursuing it.

Maybe my testimony isn’t really mine at all.

Revelation 12:11 says,

“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.”

So… perhaps there’s more power in transparency than I’ve been willing to believe.

I’m not promising to have all the answers. I’m not pretending I’ve figured life out.

But I am willing to tell the truth about what God is teaching me along the way. The lessons I wish I knew at 22. The questions I’m still asking at 32.

And whatever else God decides to teach me in between.

Thanks for being here. Don’t judge me, pray for me.

More to come soon.

-Laun