My oldest napped until she was five. My second technically dropped her nap shortly after she turned four, but that happened to be right around the time I had my fourth baby. Every afternoon I would get into bed with the baby to nurse/nap, and she would climb into bed with us and fall asleep too. So I’m going to go ahead and say she napped until she was five, too. It just looked a little different.

And now my third child is almost four, and she still naps about 75 percent of the time.

So it’ll come as a shock to no one that when it comes to naps, I am very much Team Keep the Nap.

I think there is this idea that somewhere around two and a half or three, when a toddler suddenly starts fighting their nap or lying awake in their crib, it means they’re ready to drop it. And after eight years of having kids nap, I just don’t think that’s necessarily true.

Some days, it IS a struggle. Some days she doesn’t want to go upstairs. She doesn’t want to put on her jammies. She doesn’t want to read a book and get into her crib.

But this is where I have learned that my energy matters. If I start rushing her and getting frustrated and turning nap time into a battle, she feeds off of that. So I don’t. I stay calm. I go with the flow. (EASIER SAID THAN DONE. I’VE LEARNED THIS OVER TIME.) I don’t rush her through the routine just because I want her asleep five minutes ago. We go upstairs. We get her jammies on. We read books. I help her settle down. We sing songs.

I am never putting her in her crib upset and walking away in the name of keeping the nap. I get her calm. I get her settled. I get her into her crib.

So here’s where consistency comes in. She doesn’t have the expectation that she gets to decide whether or not today is a nap day. I do.

And something else I’ve been very intentional about is that I have never changed the language around it.

I don’t say, “Okay, you don’t have to sleep today. You just have to rest.” I don’t call it “quiet time.” I don’t tell her she can play in her room instead. It is still nap time. Every day.

We nap every day, Chloe.

That doesn’t mean I force her to sleep. It means that I continue to give her the opportunity to nap.

Read more

The only thing that has not made its way back into the routine is exercise. I keep wondering when I am going to suddenly feel this overwhelming desire to start working out again and I fear that desire is simply...not coming. I think I’m just going to have to force myself. Which probably means setting an alarm for 5:30 AM because that is realistically the only time of day I know I can consistently make it happen.

This needs to happen. NOT THIS WEEK THOUGH!

Because I am going to NEW YORK WITH MY SISTER TO SEE HARRY STYLES!!!!!!!!!

I literally cannot believe I get to see Harry Styles and that I get to spend the week in New York with my sister. And we realized that Lauren and I have not been to New York together since 2015. ELEVEN YEARS AGO. Which is absolutely insane because I remember that trip so vividly.

Read more

I’m also talking about why I’m constantly editing our systems as my kids get older, why I keep everything we need exactly where we use it, the admin center that got the piles of school papers off my kitchen counter, and why I’ve realized so many of the systems I’ve created in motherhood are probably connected to the way my ADHD brain works.

Plus: my current sleep struggles, trying to get my own health back on the priority list, why every kid only needs ONE emotional-support water bottle, giving little kids real responsibility, and my annual reminder that the first two weeks of school can be HARD. If your kid suddenly seems exhausted, emotional, or completely unlike themselves, don’t overhaul everything. Keep your routine steady, keep your own energy steady, and give them time to adjust.

Basically: less stuff, fewer decisions, everything where you need it, and keep it movin’.

SLEEPY GULL MOCKTAIL
Lakewood Tart Cherry Juice not from concentrate
Splash of Ginger Root
Splash of Coconut water
Top with Spindrift

In this episode:

• Getting back into a routine after summer

• Why taking care of myself has fallen to the bottom of my list

• My current sleep struggle and the sleepy girl mocktail

• Our two-wave morning routine with four kids

• Why Casey and I do mornings in tandem

• The extremely basic lunches my kids actually eat

• Why socks and shoes now happen before breakfast

• Keeping toothbrushes, hair stuff, shoes and everything else downstairs

• My school-paper/admin-center system

• “Put the shit where you need it”

• Using Siri and Reminders because I will absolutely forget otherwise

• Realizing how much of my motherhood systems may be connected to ADHD

• Why fewer water bottles and lunchboxes work better for me

• Teaching responsibility from the toddler years

• Why the first two weeks of school are an adjustment period

• Staying steady when your kids are having a hard time

• Paper Plane cocktails

Read more

And then the fun happened in the evening: Fun fact: Nene’s birthday is six days after mine. We had a joint birthday party at the pool every single summer. When we got older, we got to have NIGHT SWIM parties. Such summer girlies!! This year is her big 4-0, and there was literally no way to make a surprise party happen on her actual birthday weekend because too many out-of-towners wouldn’t have been able to make a Friday night party work. So naturally, I convinced my brother-in-law to throw her 40th surprise party on my 37th birthday.

The setup was perfect. We’d spend the day celebrating my birthday, have cake and presents with the ranch, and then we’d all go out to dinner. Easy peasy. Low key. Basically exactly what we do every year. Except this year, when we walked into my “very special, private, coursed-out meal for our intimate group,” the room was filled with Nene’s closest friends there to celebrate HER. She was SO surprised. Had absolutely no idea. Literally what a dummy!!!! I talk to her 100000x a day, so keeping this secret was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

My biggest fear was that she was going to walk in and think it was a surprise party for ME, but she immediately saw who was in the room, realized those were HER people, and it clicked. I am so, so happy we pulled it off. She is just a very special gal. She is everything to me. My soulmate, my best friend, my therapist, my drill sergeant, the person who keeps me in line and brings me back down to planet Earth when I’m freaking the fuck out. My mahjong partner, my favorite podcast guest, my PERSON. My neighbor. I love her so much.

And then after the surprise party ended, we obviously decided we needed to keep the party going, so we went to a bar we used to go to in college. When I tell you I have not stepped foot in this place since my 21st birthday. Like WOW. I have such vivid memories of being soooo wasted there on my 21st birthday and my best friend buying me a shot that had HOT SAUCE in it and me almost barfing. Such good mems!!! Happy to report that the bar is still fun as hell, the band was great, and we were the OLDEST people in there by a mile. Being 37 is sooooo weird. And old. I still feel 27. I genuinely do not understand it.

And honor of Nene’s 40th, i want to share something nene has taught me. Nene is the opposite of a catastrophizer. She has this ability to look at something that feels HUGE to me and immediately shrink it back down to its actual size. She doesn’t spiral, she doesn’t assume the worst, she doesn’t make things bigger than they are. And being so close to her has taught me to do that too. Or at least TRY to do that lol. She is constantly reminding me, sometimes gently and sometimes not so gently, that everything is probably fine and we can just keep it moving.

I have been sad about mom, and telling Lauren that I hate seeing those TikToks that are like “nobody’s coming to save you” .. and then it’s like “if my mom/dad is on this planet I can promise you they are coming to save me”.

And its like.. I don’t have that and it fucking sucks. But what I do have is a nene. and she is, in fact, coming to save me. More often than you can probably even imagine. MY SISTER is coming to save me. every single time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NENE - I CAN’T WAIT TO CELEBRATE YOU ON FRIDAY!

BACK TO SKOO

Back to school is also officially in full swing over here.

Read more

Key Topics:

• Motherhood anxieties about sleep, feeding, and development

• The importance of flexible routines and schedules

• How COVID changed my parenting perspective

• The role of confidence and letting go of expectations

• Practical tips for managing naps, schedules, and travel with kids

Read more

This particular beach is on the bay, so the waves are teenie tiny, the tide goes wayyyy out and leaves tide pools everywhere for the littles to play in, and my kids will literally just float around on their boogie boards for hours. It is my favorite place on earth. I love it so much. We took three boogie boards but ended up going to the surf shop to get a 4th one for buddy bc BUDDY IS BIG BOY NOW.

Now, packing up and leaving for a trip with basically no notice is still very much a production because we are very much still in the toddler phase. We need two SlumberPods. A toddler blow-up mattress. A Pack ’n Play. Three sound machines. Diapers. Wipes. Swim diapers. It is just a lot of GEAR.

But I really don’t harp on this because this phase is going to be over before I know it. Like, whatever. We have to bring a shit ton of stuff. Who cares. The stuff means everyone sleeps really well on vacation, and everyone sleeping really well on vacation means we can actually enjoy our vacation. So into the van it goes. (We did not bring our espresso machine for this trip because it was only three nights. Honestly, big mistake but whatever.)

Which brings me to sleep because I had a realization on this trip that the level of ~*it’s fine, it literally does not matter*~ I have achieved around my kids’ sleep is CRAZY considering the type of mother and person I was six years ago. And genuinely I thought I was suuuper laid back with my 3rd kid, but my 4th kid has shown me how much further I’ve even come.

As a reminder, my little two are on a very consistent schedule at home. They sleep about 7:30 PM to 7 AM and take a long afternoon nap every day from 115 to 415 (CAVEAT: my 3.5 yo is not napping 3 hours every day. Her nap is shorter. Some days I don’t have her nap at all. But for the sake of the beach story, I AM talking about both of them, my 2 yo and 3yo).

I believe in a schedule. I talk AT LENGTH on the internet about how much I love a schedule.

Here is what their schedule looked like on vacation:

Read more

So let me explain.

Read more

Read more

All four of my kids have gone to the same preschool, and I genuinely cannot say enough wonderful things about it. We love our preschool. We love the teachers. Every single one of my kids has been so loved, cared for, and completely known there. They have made friends, learned so much, grown in confidence, and truly thrived. Sending them there has been one of the best decisions we have made for our family.

**A quick note because I know preschool can mean different things depending on where you live: Most preschool programs begin at age two. Some schools also offer a toddler program for children who are one before the school year starts. It is still a three-hour preschool program, even if the school calls it something different. Some call it preschool. Some call it a toddler program. Some call it Mother’s Day Out. I am talking about that same general setup: a few mornings a week, for three hours, in a classroom with teachers and other children.

And even with all of that confidence, I have still felt anxious before the first day. You can know that your child is going somewhere safe, loving, and wonderful and still feel a pit in your stomach when you think about handing your toddler to someone else and walking away. Both things can be true.

It is normal to feel anxious or sad. It is also normal for your toddler to have a hard time at drop-off for the first couple of weeks. That does not mean they hate school. It does not mean they are not ready. It does not mean you made the wrong decision. It means they are a toddler, they love you, and separating from you is new.

Read more

Hiii okay it’s been a week. It was the last full week of “camp” aka preschool for my little two AND the last week of camp for my big two so we’re just winging it and both trying to work with the kids at home for the rest of August until school starts. *~remaining calm~*

Casey and I were on our Florida work vacay until Wednesday which made this week fly by lol bc Nene was Mom to 7 for the first half of the week. I can’t tell you how nice it was to get away for a few days and lay in the sun and drink margaritas and eat nachos by the pool.

The food was so good, the service was wonderful, and I HAD A DIRTY MARTINI EVERY EVENING AND IT WAS A DREAM. I fucking love a good dirty martini with blue cheese olives.

Read more

We talk about how it felt to leave the kids, why I was finally able to relax, and what happened when I came home and everyone immediately fell apart. Nene shares how she managed seven different schedules, camps, meals, naps, sleepovers, and camp bags without losing her mind. Spoiler: preparation, paper plates, breakfast casserole, and very good sleepers helped.

We also talk about why leaving your kids can be good for everyone. They get to build their own relationships, create core memories with their cousins, and learn something my mom always told us: Mommy will come back. Mommy always comes back.

Then we answer your parenting questions, including:

• Can you start the Dana Method with a 13-month-old?

• Our extremely laid-back approach to potty training

• Whether nighttime potty training has anything to do with moving out of the crib

• Terrible daycare naps

• Breastfeeding while pregnant

• Whether to sleep train during the five-month sleep regression

Chase’s breakfast casserole with some milk

• 1 Jimmy Dean pork sausage roll 16oz

• 1 pkg Simply Potatoes shredded hash browns (refrigerated kind not frozen)

• 8 or 9 eggs

• 1 can of condensed cheddar cheese soup

• some milk

• salt and pepper

• Shredded cheddar cheese

cook sausage and set aside. whisk eggs, milk, salt, pepper and cheddar cheese soup. add in sausage, hash browns and some shredded cheddar. put in casserole dish. Grease casserole dish. bake at 350 for 45 min to an hour. sprinkle with shredded cheddar put back in the oven for five minutes to melt.

EAT :)

Read more

We do not use shared notes. THE NOTES APP is a thing of the past for me. You will literally not catch me opening that worthless ass app. My entire life has moved into the Reminders app on my iPhone. I actually think Apple named it wrong because I do not really use it for reminders. It should be called Lists. I will take this up with Apple at a later date. BUT, Reminders is where I keep everything we need to remember, buy, do, plan, or eventually come back to.

Read more

Then we recap Buddy’s birthday weekend, including hibachi, a 45-minute-notice pool party and the Big Spaghetti that has officially become part of our family’s DNA. You can make the original BIG SPAGHETTI reciepe here. Lauren made it even bigger by using one pound of ground beef and one pound of sausage, and almost every single child and adult went back for seconds.

We also tell the full story of our extremely spontaneous trip to Lake Anna. We rented the last available boat, woke Buddy after a very short nap, packed seven kids and all their gear and made it onto the water just in time for a thunderstorm to shut everything down. The boat ride may have lasted only 15 minutes, but we still had an adventure, ate ice cream and decided we did not regret going for one second.

It leads to a bigger conversation about structure and flexibility. Having a routine makes our lives easier, but sometimes it is absolutely worth breaking the schedule to go have fun. Your kids probably will not remember the nap they missed, but they may remember being told to throw on their bathing suits because the whole family was going on a boat.

We finish with a sister Q&A covering where Lauren has been shopping, her favorite jeans and rental clothes, and what we would do when preparing for two under two. Thoughts on moving toddler out of the crib or buying a second one. Lauren and I did it completely differently!

Read more

We had no camps or activities this week, and Casey was gone from Sunday morning until Wednesday night, which added another layer of logistics to an already busy summer week. We made it work though. One morning my sister took the kids while I worked, another morning we had a babysitter come over for a few hours while Casey and I both had meetings, and it reminded me of something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately: My kids absolutely thrive with other people.

Read more

My mom used to cross stitch when I was young, and sort of understood how that worked, but needlepoint felt like a completely different ball game. Different stitches, different fibers, different canvases.

But Blair patiently walked me through it, and after that first afternoon I was hooked.

Once I learned the two basic stitches, it becomes almost completely mindless. I can sit on the couch at night, turn on a show, and stitch without having to think much at all. My hands are busy, my brain gets to relax, and I’m not reaching for my phone every five minutes. I’m not scrolling Instagram, I’m not reading upsetting news before bed. It has become one of my favorite ways to unwind.

The second thing I love is that you actually get something at the end. You can turn your stitching into an ornament for your Christmas tree, a luggage tag, a keychain, a passport holder, a framed piece for your house... something you get to enjoy every single day, and it’s even more enjoyable because you made it yourself

For finishing: You can either send your stitched canvas to a professional finisher through your local needlepoint store, and they’ll turn it into whatever you want - usually a ornament! Or you can “self-finish” it. Self-finishing products make it incredibly easy because you simply trim around your stitched canvas and pop it into a leather keychain, luggage tag, passport holder, or whatever you’ve chosen.

If you’re brand new, this is exactly the route I’d recommend.

Subscribe now

Instead of starting with a giant canvas that will take months to finish, I’d make a tiny project you can complete in a weekend and immediately start using.

Enter the 1.5-inch round key fob.

My friend Martha owns Darby James Designs on Etsy, and she has these customizable 1.5” key fob canvases! My recommendation would be to order your first initial from her and have her paint it in whatever colors make you happy.

Then I’d head over to the KC Needlepoint website and order two things: your fibers in whatever color you want, and the round leather self-finishing key fob. It’s great because shipping is free on KC. They have a ZILLION different types of fibers. Lean into Chat GPT or youtube for this.

For fibers, Martha recommended Essentials because they’re beginner-friendly and come in a million beautiful colors, but honestly, use whatever fibers you love. The only thing you need to pay attention to is the mesh size. Martha’s canvases are 18 mesh, so just make sure you’re choosing fibers that are meant for an 18-mesh canvas.

Another fun option is these glittery fibers by Entice- I use these a lot.

If you’re wondering where to even begin with stitching, there are two basic stitches you need to know. I’d start with the continental stitch because it’s the easiest to learn. Once you get comfortable, I’d switch over to basketweave. Basketweave is stitched diagonally, takes a little more practice, but it’s become my preferred way to stitch because it keeps the canvas from warping as much. And I think it’s more fun.

Once you get the hang of those, head to TikTok and learn other fun ones!

If choosing your own canvas and fibers feels overwhelming, KC Needlepoint also has several adorable beginner kits that already include everything you need. I especially love the crab bag tag kit, the globe bag tag kit, the palm tree kit, and the paw print bag tag. They’re easy because it comes with everything you need.

One of my favorite projects I’ve ever stitched is an Ina Garten canvas. I stitched Ina, then added my own striped background behind her, cut it out, and popped it into a simple 4x6 frame. It’s on the counter in my bar and I love it :)

If you’ve been looking for a hobby that gets you off your phone in the evening, lets your brain rest a little, and leaves you with something you actually get to enjoy afterward, I genuinely can’t recommend needlepoint enough.

One last piece of advice: if you have a local needlepoint store, GO. Seriously. Walk in, tell them you're brand new, and ask for help. I know it can feel intimidating because it seems like everyone in there has been stitching for 30 years, but every single one of those people was a beginner once. Needlepoint shops are some of the friendliest little corners of the world, and they genuinely want more people to love the hobby. If you don't have a local shop nearby, TikTok is your best friend. There is a whoooole world of needlepoint creators on there sharing tutorials, finishing ideas, fiber recommendations, and new canvases. I've learned so much just by falling down the needlepoint rabbit hole.

Last week was about everything I love about this age. This week, I’m answering your questions about the parts that can feel a little more complicated. We’re talking about my very long and very flexible transition from two naps to one, what I do when a nap completely falls apart, managing sleep around preschool, vacations, school pickup and older siblings’ activities, and why I am not making a huge schedule change because of one weird day.

I also get into bottles, sippy cups, straw cups, toddlers suddenly throwing every bite of dinner onto the floor, and why I refuse to spiral when a one-year-old doesn’t eat a full meal. Then we talk tantrums, hitting and biting, including my simple strategy of saying it once, redirecting and leaving the scene of the crime.

I’m also sharing how I teach my toddlers to navigate stairs safely, why I still wear my toddler, and what it looks like to have a one-year-old in a full family life with older siblings.

The biggest takeaway from this episode is simple: do not make huge adjustments based on small hiccups. One missed nap, one short nap, one bad dinner or one difficult afternoon does not mean the entire system is broken. Stay the course. Keep your anchors consistent.

And because this is my final week with a one-year-old, I end with the tiny things I never want to forget. The new words, the funny labels, the way the youngest says the oldest child’s name, and the magic of watching your baby grow up.

Read more

We had such a good summer week with the kids. Vacation bible school is truly my favorite week of the year. All four of my kids at one single place, having the time of their lives. One drop off - one pick up! What could be better? They were all sad when it was over, which is always the sign of a very successful week.

I also finished painting my office/playroom!! I landed on Sherwin-Williams Stardew, and I am absolutely obsessed with this shade of blue. The same guys who painted Jack’s room came and painted the office, and they did such a great job. They even painted the inside of the closet, which is such a small detail but makes the whole room feel so much more elevated. There is still MUCH more to come in this space, but I am already so happy with the paint.

I also launched a really fun brand deal with Kohl’s this week! In case you missed it, you can read it here:

Read more

This Substack is sponsored by Kohl’s, and I’m so excited to share how I tackled back-to-school shopping for all four kids this year.

There is a very specific moment every summer where I realize that prepping for back-to-school is no longer “sometime later.” It’s right now. The school emails and supply lists start rolling in from 4 dif…

Read more

I originally recorded a much more practical version of this episode and hated it, because it didn’t capture how I actually feel about this age. Age one is not just a list of problems to solve. It is one of the sweetest, funniest, most magical years of motherhood.

This is the year your baby becomes a person. They start walking, talking, waving, blowing kisses, giving hugs, saying “hold you,” saying “love you,” noticing the moon, watching the trash truck, helping you in the kitchen, coming along for errands, and becoming part of the rhythm of your family.

In this episode, I’m talking about why I love age one so much, why it feels especially bittersweet with Buddy being my last baby, what this year has meant for me personally, and how I think about one-year-olds as being along for the ride of real life.

I also answer a few practical questions at the end about blankets, pillows, sleep sacks, pacifiers, all-day activities, and tantrums.

DROP ANY AND ALL QUESTIONS IN THE COMMENTS because I’m fliming a part 2 next week where I dive deeper into specifics!

FAVORITE PRODUCTS FOR AGE 1:

Favorite spoons: I love these because they’re great for BLW and introducing utensils.

Favorite stainless steel suction plate: ON SALE FOR $11.99, INSANE

Favorite two-piece pajamas: this brand is the best! lots of different links. long sleeve options and shorts options

Favorite sleep sack: 1.0 TOG for summer

FAVORITE SHOES:

BOYS baby/toddler through size 6.5

BOYS toddler size 7 through 11

GIRLS baby/toddler through size 6.5

BOYS toddler size 7 through 11

Tsukihoshi sizing guide

Toddler pillow

Nuk sippy cups

Replay cups

Melissa & Doug broom / cleaning set:

Shopping cart toy

Baby doll stroller

Lovevery play kits

Lovevery discount code: BECOOL10

Water table

Water table cover

Favorite baby walker / push toy BACK ON AMAZON!!

My Substack article on tantrums

Next week, we are continuing the age one conversation with answering MORE questions, and going deeper into language and communication, as well as sibling dynamics during months 12 through 24!!

Read more

First order of business this week was getting Buds a haircut.

And let me just say, this is something I was not prepared for when having a boy. My girls get their hair trimmed like twice a year. But Bronson needs a haircut every four weeks. Every FOUR WEEKS. And it is literally not fun.

Haircuts should be fun. Buddy? NOT FUN.

Our hairdresser is truly a saint of a woman and deserves an award and probably a stiff drink after we leave. She has treats every time which definitely helps, and this week she had Gushers. So it turns out Buddy likes Gushers.

Read more