I’ve launched a lot of things over the years…businesses, products, services, programs. Some of my own and some for other brands.

When we think of a launch, we tend to think of a rocket. 🚀

You spend all this time getting ready behind the scenes building the thing, creating the website, figuring out the messaging and making the graphics.

And then…

3…2…1…

GO! 🚀

You put it out into the world and wait to see what happens… Did anyone respond? Did anyone buy?

Launching is so much messier than that and is a constant evolution. You have an idea, you start building it, you talk to someone who makes you rethink part of it. You put something out there and something resonates that you didn’t expect, while something you were sure would work doesn’t. You adjust and keep going.

It’s not linear at all! 📈

As I’ve started to think about my next chapter and the work I love to do, two things kept coming back to me…my experience with launching and supporting women building businesses and, strangely enough, a willow tree I used in a logo years ago.

I am a believer that nothing we encounter is by chance and there are connections we are given along the way. Some of us put them together quicker than others…but that isn’t me. It took me a minute to see this one. LOL!

I keep coming back to a willow tree.

I’ve always loved what the willow tree represents. It was a part of a logo I used years ago when I was in network marketing, so it has been with me for a long time.

A willow is deeply rooted, but it bends…it’s really flexible. It’s strong without being rigid and responds to what’s happening around it.

The more I’ve thought about that in relation to building and launching, the more I see the connection.

A tree doesn’t grow all of its roots first and then decide it’s ready to grow above ground. The roots and the tree are growing together.

I think that’s what happens when we’re building something too.

You start with roots…not all the answers, but an idea.

You have a sense of who you want to help and a problem you believe you can solve. You have experience, knowledge or a perspective that could be valuable to someone else. Maybe you have an idea for a program, product or service.

That’s enough to start doing the work, but it’s a starting point…by no means your final answer.

I absolutely believe there is work to do before you launch, but I don’t believe you can sit in a room long enough, listen to courses, complete enough worksheets or create the perfect strategy that will tell you everything you need to know before you begin.

At some point, you have to put it into the world.

Because launching is part of how you figure it out.

Then the real learning begins.

You start talking about your idea and having conversations. You make the offer. Someone buys and someone doesn’t. Someone asks a question you hadn’t considered or you hear the same struggle three times and realize that’s what people are actually trying to solve.

A client tells you the thing they found most valuable and it isn’t what you expected. Something you were sure would resonate doesn’t, while something you almost left out does.

And now you know something you couldn’t have known before you launched.

There are things the market can teach you that you simply cannot figure out sitting at your desk.

So you take what you learn and decide what needs to change.

Maybe you change the offer or the price. Maybe something gets added or something needs to go. Your messaging gets clearer. You realize you’re talking to a slightly different person than you originally thought.

Sometimes the original idea becomes something you never could have planned from the beginning.

And that’s not a problem…that’s the process.

Your roots are still growing and so are your branches.

Rooted doesn’t mean rigid.

This might be my favorite part of the willow.

It can be rooted and flexible at the same time, and I think we need more of that in business.

We can get so attached to what we originally decided something was supposed to look like that we miss what we’re learning once it’s actually out in the world.

Launching something doesn’t mean you’re declaring, This is exactly what my business is going to be forever.

It’s more like saying:

This is what I know today. I’m going to put it into the world and see what I learn.

Then you listen and make it better.

Your understanding gets deeper. Your offer gets stronger. Your message gets clearer. And I think your confidence grows too because you’re no longer sitting there thinking about doing the thing.

You’re actually doing it.

And sometimes you need to prune.

I love this part of the willow analogy too because building a business isn’t always about adding more.

Sometimes you realize an offer isn’t wanted, your messaging isn’t connecting, you’ve made something more complicated than it needs to be or you’re forcing yourself to use a marketing strategy you hate because someone told you that’s how you’re supposed to build a business.

You learn what works by doing, but you also learn what doesn’t work the same way. So you keep what’s working, change what isn’t and give the parts that are growing more room.

I think that’s what launching really is.

It’s not figuring out every detail and THEN launching.

But it’s also not throwing something together with no thought or strategy and hoping for the best.

There’s a place in between.

You do enough work to establish a foundation and then you put it into the world.

You learn from what happens, make changes and keep going.

And every time you do, you know a little more than you did before.

I think this is especially important when you’re new to building a business because it’s really easy to look around and believe everyone else knows something you don’t.

You can spend months trying to figure out your perfect niche, ideal client, offer, messaging, brand, website and launch strategy before you’ve ever asked someone to pay you.

At some point, more thinking isn’t going to give you the answer.

You have to do the thing.

And I also know from experience that doing all of this alone can be really hard.

You don’t have to figure it out alone.

You are so close to your own ideas that sometimes you can’t see what someone else can see immediately. You can spend hours going back and forth on an offer, changing the words, questioning the price or wondering if the whole idea even makes sense.

I know because I do it too.

I have a coach. I have people I talk through ideas with. I believe deeply in having someone who can listen to what you’re thinking, ask the questions you haven’t thought to ask, help you see what you can’t see and then help you figure out what to actually do next.

It’s also the work I love doing for other women.

Over the years, I’ve helped launch businesses, programs, products and services for myself and others. I’ve learned that my favorite place to be is right there beside someone in the middle of the mess…talking through the idea, asking questions, connecting dots and helping them figure out what to do next.

Maybe you have an idea and need help making sense of it.

Maybe you have too many ideas and don’t know which one to move forward with.

Maybe you’re trying to turn what you know into an actual offer.

Maybe you’ve already launched something and it isn’t getting the response or results you hoped for.

This is where I can help.

I can help you think through the idea, see the gaps, shape the offer, get clearer on who it’s for and how to talk about it, create a strategy to get it into the world and then look at what we’re learning and figure out what comes next.

And because this is the work I want to be doing more of, I’m opening a small number of 1:1 spots.

You don’t need to know exactly what kind of support you need before you reach out.

If you’re building something, sitting on an idea, trying to launch or already in the middle of it and thinking, I could really use someone to talk this through with, send me a DM and tell me what’s going on.

We can start there. 💕

She’s trying so hard to keep everything together and make it all work. Wanting to make sure everyone and everything is okay. Solving problems she sees…even the ones no one is asking her to solve. She’s independent and capable…the kind of woman who doesn’t ask for help. She gets the job done. She works to make everyone happy and hates to disappoint.

And she’s running on empty.

The worst part? She doesn’t even see it as a choice anymore. This is just who she is. She doesn’t recognize it as anything different. It’s how she operates. She carries herself as responsible, strong and independent like it’s a badge of honor.

Except it’s not who she is or frankly what she truly desires.

It’s who she learned to be as a child.

Where this started

I am recently coming to terms that I am a massive people pleaser and have connected it to my parents own divorce as a 6 year old, although I assume the emotions were happening way before that which I could feel. For those of you who know Human Design, I have a wide open emotional center and can feel everyone’s emotions. I don’t remember all the details of that time, but do remember certain emotionally charged moments between my parents that I was caught in between...sadness, anger, confusion…feeling it all inside my body as if it was my own emotions.

Somewhere during that time in my life, I made a decision that if I could just make everyone happy, maybe this wouldn’t hurt so much. Maybe I could control the uncontrollable. Maybe I could earn my place, my safety, my right to be loved by being the one who keeps it all together.

I have become the fixer. The peacemaker. The one who wants everything to be good and everyone to be happy at the price of herself, her wants, her needs. As a child, I started stuttering and had to go to speech therapy…my body literally couldn’t find words to say what I needed to say, what I felt or what I needed. None of it mattered as much as making sure everyone else was okay. My body was trying to tell me something I didn’t have the language for.

This has followed me into my adult life…with friends, boyfriends, parents, leaders at work, my husband and even my kids.

I’ve been trying to earn the right to exist by being useful, not rocking the boat, and making sure everyone else is happy or doing everything I can to help make that a reality…at the cost of me and who I am.

The image and exercise that has been eye opening

I have been doing a lot of inner work these last couple months as I navigate a big transitional time in my life with lots of decisions ahead. I recently was given this image of myself as the child above crawling up into my lap and just wanting to be held.

I let myself feel her there, holding her in an embrace. She is small and trying so hard to hold everything together. I took this moment to tell her:

You don’t have to make everyone happy. That’s not your job. That’s their responsibility. Your voice matters. You have needs that matter. Your feelings are not something you need to fix or manage for other people’s comfort. You are enough, right now, exactly as you are.

And for the first time in forty-four years, I felt the depth of those words for the little girl inside…snuggled in my lap just wanting everyone to be ok and happy.

What I know now

She’s still running the show in ways I’m just now understanding.

She learned these things to help keep her safe from feeling negative emotions. To keep the people she loved from falling apart...so she thought.

Now at forty-four it has come through as everyday strategies and behaviors that are burning me out, creating unhappiness, discontent and unfulfillment at times.

The work ahead isn’t about becoming a different person. It’s about finally showing up for the person I’ve been carrying my whole life…the one snuggled in my lap now who wants to be held.

If this lands for you

I encourage you to:

• Find a photo of yourself as that child you once were (usually between 4-7 years old). Actually find it — dig through old albums, text your parents, do whatever it takes. Look at that girl’s face. Really look at her.

• What was happening in her world when that photo was taken? What was she trying to manage or fix or control or earn? What did she need to believe about herself to feel safe?

Don’t answer these like you’re filling out a worksheet. Sit with them. Let them land in your body, not just your head.

Here are some other questions to journal with:

• What patterns do I see in myself now that might trace back to something that happened when I was young?

• What do I do to prove I’m enough? What would change if I didn’t have to prove it?

• Who in my life am I over-responsible for? What would happen if I stopped?

• What would it feel like to let someone else figure out their own problem?

• What are things I don’t like, but do anyways because it makes someone else happy?

• What does my inner child need from me right now?

• What would you tell her if you could?

This is the work I’m doing. The work I’m inviting you into.

Not because I have it figured out…I haven’t. I’m in the middle of it, in a huge transition, rebuilding, learning how to show up differently. But because I’m finally showing up for that girl inside me who never got to just be HER.

And I think if you look at that photo of yourself, you’ll discover something similar to uncover, explore, love and forgive. It’s never too late!

I invite you to subscribe to my little corner on the internet right now where I am sharing the messy middle of rebuilding and transformation. If it resonates and you are or have experienced a similar time in your life I would love to hear from you too!

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I want more than anything to spend my days helping women-owned businesses launch, grow, and scale and help them bring their dreams to life through deep guidance work with me.

I’m crying as I write this because it’s hard. Two months in and we are draining accounts and charging cards. The weight of it is real. It’s scary. My goals are big but I don’t know how to get there. A strategic plan isn’t the problem…I have several of those drafted already, but I know the plan isn’t the gap. I have to change my identity in order for this to become real. And that’s terrifying.

So today…I donated plasma for the first time.

This idea came to me a couple of weeks ago remembering a gymnastics mom used to do this for extra money. And now here we are, with a new gymnastics season starting and bills to cover. Donating plasma is a choice I made to bring income into our family. It’s funny how you can get real scrappy when the times call for it.

At the exact same time…chuckling as I say this, tears streaming down my face…I’m looking to hire a coach for $14,000 dollars to work with for the next 6 months because I know in order to step into the version of Dana I need to be…to Illuminate HerⓇ… I need help. I need someone to see me and call me forward.

So…a plasma donation, with more in my future, and a $14K coach in the same week.

When you do things you’ve never done before…when you find ways to support your family that you didn’t think you would have to…it’s humbling.

I know on the other side of this is something BIG. However, it doesn’t make it any easier or less scary when you can’t see the dots ahead and no safety net. I have heard so many stories just like the one I am in and know it forces you to become, but I still want to throw up. It also makes my desire to help others exactly where I am even more. We all need a partner to guide us during uncertain moments no matter how big or small.

So if you’re in a big life transition right now, I see you.

Don’t push the feelings down. Feel them.

Tomorrow is a new day. Hold the vision you want. Tap into the feeling of it as often as possible.

Know that I walk alongside you. Scared. Wanting more.

And super GRATEFUL!

You see, I walk everyday and I walk to this particular sign and then turn back around.

My husband has asked me several times if I have ever walked all the way around the country block (about 4 miles) and my answer is always “no”.

Not that I didn’t want to…I did, but I was scared I couldn’t finish. Honestly…I realized yesterday it’s because I didn’t want to fail!

Yesterday was different and when I got to my turn around spot I was nudged to “keep going”. I hesitated for a second, tuned into my body which was sharing some signs of fatigue, but honored the suggestion and kept walking.

Wow…I am so glad I did! Not only did I make it all the way around, but I got to see more of a view, more of the beautiful country landscape I live in everyday. Now I do have to admit I was holding my bear whistle pretty tight in the beginning, but then let that fear go as well. My body that had felt a little fatigue gained energy in a new way as I continued walking.

When I got home my husband was at the window waiting for me concerned (I didn’t tell him I was going on a longer walk). When I saw him I blurted out “I did it…I walked the whole way around.” Truly proud of myself!

And today…as I walked to the end of the driveway I didn’t question whether I was going to go around again. The question was, “Do I want to go around in the opposite direction?”. So that’s what I did, chose the same path, but a different viewpoint without hesitation and got to witness the beauty of where I live…bunnies, deer and the constant flies circling my head (ugh).

It’s silly to think how big this walk had become in my imagination because the reality is, it wasn’t that big of a walk. Frankly, my fear of the unknown had gotten in the way. Thinking I couldn’t make it or that I wasn’t capable.

The difference this time…I listened to my intuition, the nudge, the quiet voice and decided to honor it. This is a practice that takes constant effort and I don’t always get it right. In fact most of the time I don’t, however, this is what I know to be true…

• It requires good listening skills to tune in, the voice is quiet and won’t repeat

• If I wait to respond the overthinking sets in and it becomes harder to follow

• I am never disappointed when I do follow the guidance even if I don’t understand

• The quicker I respond the better the outcome

So…let me ask you…

• Are you tuned into your intuition?

• Do you tend to listen or ignore?

• Where has your imagination and overthinking taken over from a nudge you were already given?

It’s never too late so whatever you are sitting on is not too big or too small…it’s for you and waiting for you to step forward. As I like to remind myself…

What’s the BEST thing that could happen? 💕

If you would like to continue to hear my stories as I walk through The Void and hear what’s coming next, I invite you to Subscribe to Illuminate Her.

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No one is coming to rescue us.

No one knows exactly what it feels like inside our own body.

We have choices, not easy or always obvious ones, but choices.

I am ready to take back my power and start leading myself, my work, and my relationships.

But, here’s the funny part (or not so funny part)...I thought I was already doing this.

Years ago I went through a version of burnout. Full time job, a side hustle, three young kids, trying to show up well in all of it and failing miserably. I came out the other side of that one having learned how to find harmony with the places I wanted to show up, how to set boundaries, how to communicate better, how to actually name what I wanted. I then went on to coach women on these things I learned…building businesses, doing work you love and having deep meaningful relationships.

What I didn’t know then that I know now is I had only experienced the beginning stages of burnout and was able to reset on a desired path fairly quickly.

This time around it was so much deeper…

• Anxious every day.

• Waking up at 3 am with lists running through my mind.

• Reaching for my phone constantly, checking for messages.

• Working all hours of the day with no clear start or end time.

• Never feeling caught up.

• Never truly present.

• Kids saying, “Quiet, mom’s working” or “It’s ok mom, I know you need to work”.

• My husband needing my attention but never wanting to interrupt me and feel my frustration of the interruption.

• Not eating or having an appetite - losing so much weight I didn’t have to lose to begin with.

• Not able to show up to social moments for more than an hour before feeling completely drained.

ALL in my control. No one was coming to rescue me!

It’s hard to see it when you are in it. In fact I went to my old coach to confirm at one point that it was in fact burnout I was experiencing. It makes me want to cry to think about how all this felt and how much I just kept pushing thinking it was going to get better. Not knowing how to fix it and putting me deeper in burnout. Knowing and doing are 2 different things and I thought if I just worked harder it would fix it. Nope…not even a little!

I have since learned there are five stages of burnout starting with something that looks like enthusiasm and commitment, the honeymoon phase, before stress creeps in, then becomes chronic, and eventually just how you live. The thing that gets me about it is how good the early stages can look from the outside. Productive. Driven. Motivated…ME!!!

From where I’m standing now, digging into what actually got me here, I keep circling around a few things…

BEHAVIORS: Constantly pushing, perfectionism, overthinking, being productive but not in a way that creates results, not knowing how to be still and rest

TRAUMA: Childhood stuff that quietly built a people pleaser. Struggling to say ‘no’, self worth based on others view of you. Wanting to be needed, be good or easy to have around. This is the unconscious shit that needs to be dug up and released and I am working to unpack this for myself.

HUMAN DESIGN: An incredible tool to show how our energy moves, how we are meant to make decisions and understanding our strengths and our shadows

These are the pieces that I am working to unlock and dig deeper into during The Void.

Understanding what got me here.

Identifying what I have to leave behind in order to become the version of myself I know is underneath it all.

This is the work I am doing while in my cocoon.

It’s the work I must go through in order to help others.

Building a more spacious life, doing work I love and being present with the most precious humans in my life is what our time on earth is all about. The picture that has sat behind my desk for 5 years says it all.

I don’t have this fully figured out yet. I’m still walking it. But I wanted to say the hard sentence out loud anyway, because I think a lot of us need someone to say it…

Burnout’s a bitch.

Getting out of it and staying out of it is on us.

If you have experienced burnout I would love to hear from you! Your story and how you pulled yourself out to live that life you love. Still working on it…love that too, lets connect!

I had experienced burnout before but not like this! I knew that something had to change, but I struggled to make the decision myself. I didn’t have another plan.

Then God made it for me…

_______________________

I’m Dana. Wife, mom of three, recovering people pleaser, over thinker and perfectionist. I have always been driven with a plan knowing my next step. Now…I find myself in The Void.

The Void is the space between. The place where something has ended and what comes next hasn’t taken shape yet. It’s uncertain. It’s heavy. It’s unclear. And it can feel scary.

I’m writing for the woman who is really good at delivering for everyone else and has lost herself somewhere in the process. The one who people pleases , perfects and pushes through. The one who is so busy meeting everyone else’s needs and expectations that she has stopped asking what she actually wants and needs. Is ignoring her own energy, rhythms and ways of working.

This is not a highlight reel. I’m not writing from the other side of this experience. I’m in it right now… uncertain, figuring it out, some days heavy and some days clear.

But I got the nudge so here I am.

If any of this resonates, I’m glad you’re here and looking forward to connecting!