You can listen to the preview for free, but these will be occasional offerings for upgraded members. I look forward to sharing life updates, little stories, things that are making me think, and sometimes answers to your questions in this space.

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Note From Me: The Goodbyes Keep Changing

It’s goodbye season again.

Our second-youngest son Rafe will soon leave for his semester in Ireland, and soon after, our youngest, Danny, will leave for a semester in Rome.

Then it will be just Dan and me at home.

Just the two of us. Like we did last school year. After all these years. After eight babies, decades of homeschooling, crowded dinner tables, endless loads of laundry, rides to basketball, and a house that once seemed incapable of being quiet.

I first began writing about this emotional time of year when our oldest son left for college. He was going only about 90 minutes away, but that goodbye felt gut-wrenching. All summer, I carried the weight of what was coming. I knew our family was changing, and I wasn’t quite sure who I would be when one of my children no longer needed me in all the familiar, everyday ways.

Since then, we’ve said goodbye many more times and across much greater distances. Our children have left for college, moved to other states and countries, gotten married, and begun families of their own. There have been airport hugs, tearful drives home, new apartments, new jobs, weddings, and babies.

These experiences are what first prompted me to write Giving Thanks and Letting Go. I wrote about the adjustment to a quieter stage of life. Now I am standing at another threshold. Soon enough, there will be no children living at home at all.

But one thing I have learned through every goodbye is that motherhood does not end when the house grows quiet. I’m still needed, just in different ways. There may not be daily sticky hands or sippy cups here anymore, but there are late-night conversations, family group texts, phone calls from faraway places, grandchildren to love, and so many prayers as our grown children navigate independence, work, marriage, parenthood, and lives of their own.

I am learning, too, that letting go is not something we do once. We do it again and again, each time giving thanks for what has been and making room for what comes next. Life these days feels like a perpetual series of goodbyes, hellos, and I’m so proud of you’s.

As I wrote when I dedicated Giving Thanks and Letting Go to my eight growing-up babies: You make me proud. You make me grateful. I will always be your mama.

If you are navigating a season of change in your own family, you can read a sample chapter and check out Giving Thanks and Letting Go here:

Giving Thanks and Letting Go

With grace,

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Sunday Gospel Reflection: The Courage to Reconcile

Gospel for Sunday, September 6, 2026
Matthew 15:18-20

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And if you shared something last night, please add a link to your recommendation in the comments so everyone can easily find it. Let’s turn the comments into our own little Girlfriends resource list! 💙

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The September Girlfriends Retreat Room is ready, and I am so happy to welcome you inside. Our theme for September is Begin Again, Gently.

This time of year naturally makes us think about fresh starts. We might feel inspired to begin new routines, return to prayer, care for our health, or finally address something we’ve been putting off. But that energy can quickly become pressure to fix everything at once.

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Inside the September Retreat Room for paid subscribers, I’m inviting you to consider a gentler beginning. Where might God be asking you to take one small, faithful step?

Our new monthly space includes:

• A personal reflection on our theme

• Scripture and saint resources for today

• One small spiritual practice

• Information about our upcoming Girlfriends Gathering

• A community prayer-intention space

• A new interactive word cloud where we can share what we are beginning again

• A few things I’m reading, listening to, making, and enjoying

• A downloadable phone wallpaper

You can visit for five minutes, stay a little longer, or bookmark the room and return throughout September. I hope you will give me feedback about what you might like to see there!

I hope it feels like a welcoming place where you can pause, pray, and find a little encouragement.

The Girlfriends Retreat Room is a new monthly benefit for paid subscribers. If you are a free subscriber and would like to join us, you can upgrade today and receive immediate access to the September room, along with our complete Gospel reflections, monthly online gatherings, and gathering replays…

Paid subscribers, the door is open!

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Just a quick reminder that our next Girlfriends Gathering is happening this Wednesday, August 26 at 7:30 PM Eastern!

This month we’re trying something new: Girlfriends Show & Tell.

Bring one small thing that’s helping you in your spiritual life right now. It might be a book you’re loving, a favorite prayer or devotion, an app you use, a saint you’ve been praying with, a Scripture verse, or even a new habit that’s helping you grow closer to God.

We’ll share our finds and then spend the rest of our hour doing what we always do: talking honestly about faith and life, asking questions, sharing stories, and encouraging one another.

If you’re a paid subscriber, be sure to register below so you’ll receive the Zoom link. And don’t worry if you can’t join us live. You’ll have access to the full recording afterward.

If you’re a free subscriber, you’re invited too! Upgrade to a paid Girlfriends membership and you’ll be able to register for Wednesday’s Gathering, plus you’ll have access to future monthly Gatherings and recordings.

Come with something to share, or simply come and listen. There’s always room for you at the table. Here’s the registration link:

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Note From Me: Not Afraid to Go First

I saw them yesterday. A small patch of bright red leaves hidden high among the green branches of an oak tree.

I admire their boldness. Fall is coming, and they’re not afraid to go first.

Where does this fall find you? What fresh starts are you mulling as the nights turn cooler (at least here in New Hampshire) and the days grow shorter? As the seasons change and school starts, whether you’re attending classes, packing lunches, dropping off kids at college, or just watching others do these things, our minds naturally turn toward new beginnings. I love this time of year for starting new habits or re-starting old ones that have fallen by the wayside.

But the temptation can be to try to do ALL the things, and set ourselves up for failure. That’s why the theme for the September Girlfriends Retreat Room is Begin Again, Gently. Whether your goal is to stay consistent with your prayer routine, make changes to your eating habits, or begin walking again, my hope is that we can take on just one thing at a time, together.

I can’t wait to share this space with you so we can pray with and for one another as we take on new challenges. I’ll share the link later this week, and I look forward to connecting with you there.

With grace,

This week’s full Gospel reflection and discussion questions are available to paid subscribers. If this newsletter nourishes your prayer life, your subscription is what makes this work possible.

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Sunday Gospel Reflection: Thinking as God Does

Gospel for Sunday, August 30, 2026
Matthew 16:21-27

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Our next Girlfriends Gathering is coming up next week on Wednesday, August 26 at 7:30 PM Eastern, and this month I thought we’d try something a little different.

We’re going to have a little Girlfriends Show & Tell!

I’d love for you to bring one small thing that’s helping you in your spiritual life right now.

It might be a book you’re reading, an app you use for prayer, a saint you’ve been getting to know, a favorite prayer or devotion, a Scripture verse you’ve been returning to, or even a new habit you’re working on.

Nothing fancy required! The idea is simply to share something that’s helping you grow closer to God right now. I think we’ll all come away with some new ideas and encouragement from one another.

After our show and tell, we’ll settle into our usual Girlfriends conversation. Bring your questions, thoughts, struggles, and stories, or just come and listen.

Wednesday, August 26
7:30 PM Eastern
Online via Zoom

Girlfriends Gatherings are a special benefit for paid subscribers, and the full recording will be available afterward if you can’t make it live.

I can’t wait to see what everyone brings! Here’s the link:

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Each month, I’ll create a fresh online space where you can pause, pray, and find some encouragement for the weeks ahead. You’ll be able to visit whenever you like and stay for five minutes or settle in a little longer.

Inside each month’s Retreat Room, you’ll find a personal reflection, Scripture and saint resources, one small spiritual practice, details about our next online gathering, and a few good things I’m reading, listening to, making, or enjoying.

Join Girlfriends as a Paid Subscriber

There will also be a downloadable phone wallpaper and a place to share your prayer intentions.

Our September theme is Begin Again, Gently, and the room is almost ready to welcome you. I’ll share the link soon!

The Girlfriends Retreat Room will be included with every paid subscription. If you’ve been considering becoming a paid subscriber, this is a perfect time to join us. You’ll receive access to the September room as soon as it opens, along with our complete Gospel reflections, monthly online gatherings and recordings, and everything else included in a paid Girlfriends subscription.

I can’t wait to open the door and welcome you inside.

Become a Paid Subscriber

With grace,

Note From Me: What Is Yours To Do Right Now?

I can feel it in the air and see it in my substack feed. Moms are nervous. They’re nervous about the school year starting. And especially about homeschooling.

They are making plans and creating schedules and signing up for co-ops and designing curricula and ordering materials, and still they are looking at what someone else is doing and wondering if maybe they are messing everything up after all.

It’s normal to feel like this. I wrote about some of my homeschooling experiences and takeaways here not too long ago:

But this year, with no students of my own to teach and the youngest two in our family making plans for their college fall semesters in Europe, it occurs to me that the anxiety of “getting it right” and “not messing up” is with us always, no matter what stage of family life we’re in. We are always going feel like we’re falling short, and looking around at what others are doing is always going to be a distraction and discouragement.

Because none of us is enough. None of us is perfect. We need grace. We need God.

We mess things up when we start to believe the lie that we have to do it all on our own. But we can’t and we don’t. No matter what lies ahead for you this fall, no matter what anxieties might fill your heart as you prepare for the changes and challenges ahead, my prayer is that you will begin by placing all of it in God’s hands.

Then you can ask Him what is yours to do right now, and go do that thing. That’s it.

Life is messy, but it’s beautful too.

With grace,

The Gospel reflection and discussion questions you’ll find below are open to everyone this week, as a sample of the kind of content paid subscribers receive regularly. My hope is that it supports your prayer, wherever you are today.

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Sunday Gospel Reflection: Who Do You Say That I Am?

Gospel for Sunay, August 23, 2026
Matthew 16:13-20

Jesus begins with an easy question. “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?”

But then He makes it personal: “Who do you say that I am?”

And now, Peter must speak from his own heart.

We may know what the Church teaches about Jesus. We may have learned the right answers and repeated the words of the Creed countless times, but Jesus wants more from us than that. He wants a relationship. With you, with me, with every person you meet.

Though Peter answers Jesus boldly, His faith does not make him a perfect disciple. He will go on to misunderstand Jesus, act impulsively, and even, eventually, deny knowing him. Still, Jesus chooses Peter and entrusts him with a mission. He builds upon Peter’s faith, which is imperfect but sincere.

Jesus still builds his Church through ordinary, imperfect people. If we trust Him, He can do great things with us and through us, despite our weaknesses. Today, can we hear his question as if he is asking it for the first time?

“Who do you say that I am?”

Our answer should come not only from our lips, but from the way we live.

Questions for Journaling or Small Group Discussion

1. Based on the way I live my life, who do I say Jesus is?

2. What does experiencing Jesus as “the Christ, the Son of the living God” mean to me personally?

3. Do I rely on what others say about Jesus, or am I working on growing in a relationship with Him myself?

4. What fears and doubts make it hard for me to place my life fully in God’s hands?

5. How does the example of Peter’s imperfect faith encourage me in overcoming my own weaknesses?

6. Do I proclaim my faith in Jesus through the things that I do and say eahc day? If not, how can I improve?

Printable version of this week’s reflection and discussion questions:

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Note From Me: Best Vacation Ever

Years ago, we loaded our (then) six children, all 8 years old and under, into the family van for a road trip to Washington, D.C. Once we arrived, I strapped 2-month-old Gabrielle to my chest, Dan hoisted an overstuffed backpack onto his shoulders, and the eight of us explored the city. We visited the monuments and museums, rode the Metro, and packed as much adventure as we could into each day, sweltering in the heat sometimes and buying $4 lemonades from a stand on the street. For our country kids, riding the subway was almost as exciting as seeing the nation’s capital.

Family trips look different now.

This week, we are spending a few days in Cape Cod. Only some of our family will be there this time, and I know it will be wonderful. We’ll find the peace we always find at the ocean, enjoy good food, and make new memories together.

But man. I do sometimes miss those chaotic days when everyone fit under one roof, and somehow, into one van.

Preparing for that trip to Washington was an adventure all by itself. To save money, I baked snacks ahead of time, and the kids knew there was a stash of treats packed in the back. Juliette, who was almost 4, wanted one the moment we pulled out of the driveway. It was barely 5:00 in the morning when she took a bite of a chocolate chip muffin and happily announced from her car seat:

“This is the best vacation EVER!”

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There was a time in my life when I was deeply worried about someone I love. The future felt uncertain, and there was so little I could do to change the situation. I remember sitting in the car in the parking lot at the pharmacy, in between running errands, and praying-praying-praying the words of the Surrender Novena.

During that time, I didn’t just pray the Surrender Novena for nine days. I made it a daily habit. I would pray days one through nine, then go right back to day one and begin again. Those words became an anchor for me. They reminded me, every single day, that God was asking me to trust Him with the people and situations I could not control.

One of the things I love most about the Surrender Novena is that it is written in the words of Jesus, as revealed to Servant of God Fr. Dolindo Ruotolo. As I pray, I imagine Jesus speaking those words directly to my heart today. They are comforting, challenging, and exactly the correction and encouragement I need whenever fear and anxiety begin to take over.

Because this prayer has meant so much to me, I created a new free resource on my website: daniellebean.com/surrender

There you’ll find:
🤍 The complete Surrender Novena
🤍 A simple guide to praying it
🤍 Scripture passages about surrender
🤍 Answers to common questions
🤍 A printable PDF you can keep with you

If you’re carrying a burden today, or if you’re worried about someone you love, I hope this becomes a place you can return to again and again.

Visit: https://daniellebean.com/surrender

I’d love to hear if the Surrender Novena has been a part of your prayer life too. ❤️

With grace,

Note From Me: With the Help of Thy Grace

“How about right now?”

The priest’s suggestion caught me off guard. It was early in the morning, and I had just arrived at a conference where I would be speaking. My mind was crowded with thoughts about my talk, things going on at home, and all the work and obligations waiting for me.

When I saw the priest as I entered, however, I felt inspired to ask if he might hear my confession later that day. I knew it had been too long since my last confession, and I also knew that when life is busy, we sometimes need to seize opportunities whenever and however they present themselves.

I thought asking for an appointment later in the day was bold and brave enough. But here was something even braver: right now.

Father smiled and waited for my response.

“Uhh, okay,” I stammered. “I’ll just need a minute.”

He gestured toward some chairs in the corner. “I’ll meet you right over there.”

I sat down and struggled to focus my mind. There was so much busyness, so much distraction, so much to do and worry about. Somehow, though, I made it through my confession. At the end, the priest asked me to recite an Act of Contrition, and I began the familiar prayer I have known since I was a little girl.

“Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee . . .”

I was still so distracted that, partway through the prayer, my mind went completely blank.

“I firmly resolve . . .” I prayed, and then stopped.

I tried again. “I firmly resolve . . .”

Nothing.

After a pause, the priest gently prompted me: “With the help of Thy grace . . .”

Of course.

With the help of Thy grace.

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This month, a simple question about our goals before summer ends led naturally into a heartfelt conversation about persevering through difficult seasons. We talked about those times when God feels quiet, praying for adult children, setting loving…

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Note From Me: Stop Saving the Stationery

Do you have a drawer full of beautiful stationery?

Mine is filled with multiple packs of unopened notecards I have picked up in bookstores and gift shops through the years. I can never resist buying a pack of pretty notecards because of the potential they hold. The potential to connect in meaningful ways with other people, the potential to finally become a “Notecard Person.” You know the type. Someone who hears that a friend had a hard week and drops a note in the mail. Someone who remembers birthdays without Facebook reminders, or who writes, “I’m so grateful for your friendship,” without needing a special occasion.

When a handwritten note arrives in my mailbox, it always makes me smile. In a world of texts, emails, and notifications, it feels warm and personal. Someone took the time to find a stamp, look up my address, sit down with a pen, and think about me for a few minutes. That simple act says something words alone cannot. It says, You matter.

I think maybe it’s time to stop saving my stationery, stuffed away in a drawer. I’m not sure what I’ve been waiting for, but there will always be other things to do. I will always have a to-do list running through my mind. If I keep waiting until life slows down, those cards may stay tucked away in that drawer forever. So I’m going to start using them.

I also have another little idea I want to try, and it involves you.

Occasionally, I’d like to surprise a few Girlfriends readers with a handwritten note in the mail. Just because I’m grateful you’re here. So many of you share your hearts with me and support the work I do, and I’d love the chance to return the favor in a personal way.

If you want to be part of this little experiment, I’ll include a link below where you can share your mailing address. I’ll only use it for the occasional handwritten note. You won’t end up on some spam list! This is an experiment. I can’t promise everyone will receive a note, but every note I send will be written with love and gratitude.

And maybe you’ll join me?

If you have a notecard drawer, too, maybe this is your sign to use it. Do you have someone you’ve been meaning to write a note to? A friend, a parent, a child, sister, or someone who has been going through something hard? It doesn’t have to be long or fancy. Sometimes a few handwritten lines are enough to remind someone they are seen, remembered, and loved.

The world seems to move faster every day. I like this idea of simple defiance and rebellion against the hustle. Let’s slow down just long enough to put pen to paper.

With grace,

PS: Here’s the link to share your address!

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These relaxed online evenings are a chance to pull up a chair and spend an hour together talking about faith and everyday life. We laugh, ask questions, share what’s on our hearts, and encourage one another. Every gathering has reminded me how much wisdom God has placed in this community.

Our next gathering is:

• Wednesday, July 29

• 7:30 PM Eastern

Come with a question, or simply come to listen. We’ll talk about whatever is on our hearts that evening, whether it’s prayer, family, friendship, spiritual growth, or navigating the ordinary joys and challenges of life.

If you can’t join us live, don’t worry! The full recording will be available afterward. See below for the link to register.

These monthly gatherings are one of the special benefits of a paid Girlfriends membership, and I’d love to welcome you if you’ve been thinking about joining us.I hope you’ll save your spot. I can’t wait to spend some time with you.

Here’s the link to register:

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Note From Me: Tiny Graces All Around

Between meals and coffee mugs and the never-ending loading and unloading of the dishwasher, I’ve stood in my kitchen, at window, thousands of times over the years. You’d think I’d seen everything there is to see.

But this summer, we noticed something new. A little dark gray catbird has been visiting our front deck. She has a nest somewhere nearby, and every so often she’ll land on the railing and simply sit. Sometimes she stays for several minutes before darting away again.

I’m sure she’s been doing this for weeks; I just hadn’t noticed. Now I find myself looking for her whenever I’m near the window. Some days she’s there, some days she isn’t, but because I’ve started paying attention, I see her more often than I ever did before.

It makes me wonder how much of my life is like that. How many tiny gifts and little graces has God placed right in front of me that I’ve stopped noticing simply because they’re familiar? The people I love. The home I’ve lived in for years. The routines that feel so ordinary they’re almost invisible.

Beauty doesn’t always arrive with fanfare. Sometimes it lands silently on the deck railing and waits for us to look. Maybe gratitude begins not by asking God for something new, but by noticing what has been here all along.

With grace,

The Gospel reflection and discussion questions you’ll find below are open to everyone this week, as a sample of the kind of content paid subscribers receive regularly. My hope is that it supports your prayer, wherever you are today.

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Sunday Gospel Reflection: Treasure Worth Everything

Gospel for Sunday, July 26, 2026
Matthew 13:44-52

The people in Jesus’ parables recognize something so valuable that everything else suddenly becomes secondary. The treasure in the field and the pearl of great price are worth giving up everything to possess, not with resentment, but with joy.

This is what happens when we truly encounter God. Faith stops feeling like one more obligation added to an already full life. Instead, it becomes the treasure that gives meaning to everything else. Following Jesus may require sacrifice, but it is never an empty loss. We surrender lesser things because we have discovered something greater.

The image of the net reminds us that our choices matter. Not everything we collect, pursue, or cling to belongs in the life God is calling us to live. We must learn to recognize what is good and let go of what draws us away from him.

Jesus invites us to ask honestly: Is the kingdom of God my greatest treasure, or simply one priority among many others? When we understand what we have been offered, surrender becomes not a burden, but a joyful response.

Questions for Journaling or Small Group Discussion

• What do I treasure most right now, and how is that shaping the way I live?

• Have I ever experienced a moment when faith felt less like an obligation and more like a joyful discovery?

• What might God be asking me to release so that I can receive something greater from him?

• Are there habits, attachments, or distractions in my life that no longer belong in the life God is calling me to live?

• Do my daily choices reflect that the kingdom of God is my highest priority, or merely one priority among many?

• How can I draw from both the “new and the old”—fresh movements of grace and the wisdom of faith already given to me—as I follow Christ?

Printable version of this week’s reflection and discussion questions:

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What kinds of events does Danielle Bean speak at?

Danielle Bean speaks at Catholic women’s conferences, parish retreats, diocesan events, mother-daughter gatherings, women’s ministry events, leadership days, Advent and Lent programs, and parish missions. Her talks are especially well-suited for Catholic women seeking encouragement, spiritual renewal, practical faith, and a deeper awareness of God’s presence in everyday life.

Learn more and invite Danielle to speak at your event!

What topics does Danielle Bean speak about?

Danielle’s most requested speaking topics include Catholic womanhood, feminine genius, spiritual growth, prayer, family life, friendship, vocation, motherhood, marriage, feminine identity, encouragement, and finding God in ordinary daily life. She also offers talks and retreat themes based on her books, including You Are Enough, You’re Worth It!, and Whisper: Finding God in the Everyday.

Is Danielle available as a Catholic women’s retreat speaker?

Yes. Danielle regularly speaks at Catholic women’s retreats and parish retreat days. Retreats can include keynote talks, prayer, reflection, journaling prompts, small-group discussion, and practical takeaways for women to continue growing in faith after the event. All elements are customizable to your event and your audience.

Request more info

Is Danielle available for Catholic women’s conferences?

Yes. Danielle is available to speak at Catholic women’s conferences, diocesan women’s events, and regional Catholic gatherings. She can offer a keynote address, multiple talks, panel participation, emcee-style hosting, or a full-day retreat experience depending on the needs of the event.

What is Danielle’s speaking style?

Danielle’s speaking style is warm, honest, humorous, and deeply encouraging. She combines Catholic teaching, personal storytelling, Scripture, practical wisdom, and real-life experience as a wife, mother, author, and longtime Catholic media professional. Her goal is always to help women feel seen, encouraged, and invited into a deeper relationship with God.

Can Danielle customize a talk for our event theme?

Yes. Danielle is happy to work with event organizers to adapt her talks to fit a specific theme, audience, liturgical season, or ministry goal. Many of her most popular talks can be customized for parish women, diocesan groups, mothers, wives, young adults, or women in a particular season of life.

Does Danielle offer retreat themes based on her books?

Yes. Danielle offers Catholic retreat and conference talks inspired by her books, including You Are Enough, You’re Worth It!, and Whisper: Finding God in the Everyday. These themes are especially popular for women’s retreats because they focus on identity in Christ, healing, prayer, the dignity of women, and discovering God in everyday life.

Learn more and invite Danielle Bean to speak at your Catholic event.

Request more info

How long are Danielle’s talks?

Most keynote talks are 45–60 minutes. For full-day retreats, Danielle typically offers up to four talks, with time for prayer, reflection, journaling, discussion, and breaks built in. The schedule can be adjusted to fit the needs of your parish, diocese, or event team.

Does Danielle lead full-day Catholic retreats?

Yes. Danielle can lead a full-day Catholic women’s retreat, typically including multiple talks, prayerful reflection, discussion questions, journaling prompts, and opportunities for women to apply the retreat theme to their own lives. Full-day retreats can also be built around Mass, adoration, confession, lunch, and parish fellowship.

Does Danielle travel for speaking events?

Yes. Danielle travels throughout the United States and Canada for Catholic speaking events, including parish retreats, diocesan conferences, women’s conferences, and Catholic ministry events. Travel details, lodging, and expenses are discussed during the booking process.

What are Danielle Bean’s speaking fees?

Speaking fees vary depending on the type of event, number of talks, travel requirements, and level of preparation involved. Danielle is happy to provide current speaker fee information after learning more about your event, location, audience, schedule, and goals.

Request more info

How far in advance should we book Danielle for a Catholic speaking event?

It is best to inquire as early as possible, especially for weekend retreats, diocesan events, Advent or Lent programs, and annual Catholic women’s conferences. Danielle’s speaking calendar often books months in advance.

Can Danielle speak virtually?

Yes. Danielle is available for select virtual events, online retreats, webinars, podcast interviews, parish ministry gatherings, and video-based programs. Virtual speaking can be a good fit for groups looking for encouragement, formation, or a faith-based presentation without the cost of travel.

Who is Danielle’s ideal audience?

Danielle’s talks are especially meaningful for Catholic women, wives, mothers, grandmothers, parish leaders, women’s ministry groups, and women seeking encouragement in their faith. She speaks with particular warmth to women who are carrying family responsibilities, navigating changing seasons of life, or longing for a deeper sense of peace, purpose, and spiritual renewal.

Contact for more information about inviting Danielle Bean to speak at your event.

How do we invite Danielle Bean to speak at our event?

Lets talk! To invite Danielle to speak at your Catholic women’s retreat, conference, parish event, or diocesan gathering, please click the button below to fill out a request form. If possible, include your event date, location, expected number of attendees, event theme, schedule, and any details about what you are hoping Danielle can offer your group.

Request more info

Note From Me: Nothing Fancy

I could probably find a hundred banana bread recipes online in five minutes.

Brown butter banana bread. Chocolate chip banana bread. Streusel-topped banana bread. Banana bread with Greek yogurt, sour cream, espresso powder, or browned bananas (is that even a thing?).

But I don’t want any of those.

I want my mother’s banana bread.

She made it all through my childhood. The recipe came from an old cookbook where the pages were curled. There were mysterious stains. The spine had given up years before.

Because there were nine of us kids, my mother doubled the recipe. Years later, I discovered how grateful I was for that when I found myself baking for a full house of my own.

One thing in the original recipe has always made me laugh. It called for adding gumdrops.

Gumdrops? Maybe it’s better left as one of those wonderfully strange relics from a 1960s cookbook. They’re long gone from our version.

The recipe as I make it today is ordinary. Nothing fancy. It turns overripe bananas into something everyone is happy to eat. Dan still smiles when he smells it baking.

I’ve made it with my children. Someday, I hope my grandchildren will make it too.

There is something comforting about recipes like this. They don’t need improving. They don’t need reinventing. They’re woven into the fabric of family life.

Sometimes the best things aren’t exciting. They’re just familiar. And maybe we don’t say thank you for those things often enough.

So today I’m sharing the recipe, not because it’s the world’s greatest banana bread (maybe it is), but because it has been feeding the people I love for decades.

I hope it finds a home in your kitchen, too.

Banana Bread Recipe

With grace,

Sunday Gospel Reflection: Trust the Gardener

Gospel for Sunday, July 19, 2026
Matthew 13:24-33

The landowner in Jesus’ parable tells his servants to wait. There will be a time for separating the wheat from the weeds, but that time is not yet.

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I have spent a lot of my life trying to become better.

A better wife, better mother, better friend, better Christian. A better pray-er, forgiver, listener, helper, responder-to-annoying-things-with-grace kind of person.

You know the feeling?

You might read a spiritual book, hear a homily, go on retreat, or have one quiet moment of clarity in prayer, and suddenly you see it: all the ways you are not yet holy.

You’re not as patient as you want to be, not as generous, not as detached, not as prayerful, not as loving.

The Plan Always Falls Apart

And so you make a plan. You will get up earlier. You will pray better. You will be gentler. You will stop snapping. You will respond instead of react. This is the week, this is the plan, this is the new improved version of you.

And then, somewhere around Tuesday, the whole thing falls apart.

You lose your temper. Or you forget to pray. You revisit an old resentment and hold on to some of those deliciously bitter feelings. You say the sharp thing. You choose comfort over sacrifice. And in the end, you realize, once again, that holiness is not something you can grit your teeth and conjure up with sheer willpower.

Oddly enough, that may be very good news. And maybe even stranger, one of the saints suggests that love can make God do what we want.

Holiness Is God’s Work

I have been re-reading In the School of the Holy Spirit by Father Jacques Philippe, and one of the ideas he returns to again and again is this: holiness is God’s work. Not ours.

That doesn’t mean we shrug our shoulders and say, “Well, God will have to handle it,” while we keep on being selfish and difficult or spiritually lazy.

But holiness is not a self-improvement project. It’s not something we accomplish by designing the perfect spiritual program and then executing it flawlessly. It’s not a ladder we climb by ourselves. It’s not a personal optimization exercise where we slowly curate a more impressive Catholic life.

Holiness is the life of God in us. And only God can give God’s life.

That should humble us, but even more than that, it should relieve us.

Because sometimes the call to holiness can feel crushing. We know we are called to love as Jesus loves, forgive seventy times seven times, pray without ceasing, carry our cross, die to self, and become saints.

And maybe, on our better days, we actually want that.

But then there is the real stuff, the daily material of our everyday lives: The messy kitchen counter. The stress-inducing inbox. The medical appointment. The sticky relationship. The person who misunderstands us. How are we supposed to become holy in the middle of all that?

The answer is not, “Try harder.” At least, not only try harder.

The answer is: Surrender more deeply.

The Answer is Surrender

Most of us don’t really mind giving God part of ourselves. We give Him Sunday mornings. We give Him certain prayers. We give Him the parts of our lives we have already decided are acceptable offerings.

But to entrust ourselves wholly to Him? That is something else.

To say, “Lord, I cannot make myself holy. I cannot even love You rightly unless You teach me. I cannot heal myself. I cannot purify my motives. I cannot transform my own heart. I place myself in Your hands.”

That kind of prayer feels vulnerable because it is.

We would rather hand God a plan: Here, Lord. I have mapped out my sanctity. I have color-coded the virtues. I have scheduled the sacrifices. I have identified the outcomes. Kindly put this plan into place.

But God makes us holy by drawing us into Himself.

That may happen through prayer, Scripture, sacraments, spiritual reading, silence, and service. But it also happens through interruptions, humiliations, hidden sacrifices, ordinary disappointments, and all the little moments when we discover that we are not nearly as patient or detached or loving as we imagined.

Those moments are not proof that holiness is impossible. They are invitations to stop pretending we can do it alone.

Father Philippe quotes Saint John of the Cross, who writes in the Spiritual Canticle:

“Great is the power and persistence of love, since it overcomes and binds God Himself. Happy is the soul who loves, because that soul holds God captive and obtains from Him all that he or she desires. For God’s nature is such that, if we take Him by love in the right way, we will make Him do what we want.”

I have not been able to stop thinking about that. At first glance, it almost sounds dangerous. Make God do what we want? Isn’t that exactly what our selfish hearts are always trying to do?

We want to control God. We want to manage Him. We want to negotiate with Him. We want to pray in such a way that He will finally get on board with our own amazing ideas.

We are very good at wanting things from God.

And yet Saint John of the Cross says that love can, in a sense, bind God. Love can obtain from Him all that the soul desires.

The secret, of course, is love. Not manipulation, not bargaining, not spiritual control dressed up as devotion.

Love.

Love Changes What We Want

When we truly love God, when we give ourselves to Him completely, our desires begin to change. We stop trying to use God to get our own way and begin wanting God Himself.

And when God becomes what we want most, then yes, we can obtain everything we desire. Because then, all that we desire is Him.

This is the great reversal and beautiful life-changing work of the spiritual life. We come to God with clenched fists full of demands, and slowly, patiently, He teaches us to open our hands. We come wanting Him to change our circumstances, and He begins by changing our hearts. We come asking Him to make other people easier to love, and He gives us more love.

Not always the feeling of love. But always the grace of love.

The ability to choose patience when irritation rises. The ability to remain silent when we want to defend ourselves. The ability to forgive when part of us would rather keep the wound right there and available for review. The ability to begin again after failure without collapsing into discouragement.

That is holiness. Not a life where nothing bothers us anymore and we glide through stress radiating serenity.

Holiness is God’s love taking root in the real soil of our lives. And sometimes that soil is rocky. Sometimes it’s dry. Sometimes it appears to have been trampled by children, deadlines, husbands, hormones, grief, and the 4:00 PM question of what on earth we can possibly make for dinner.

God works there. Especially there.

And this is what encourages me most: I don’t have to become holy by sheer force of will.

I have to consent. I have to return. I have to ask. I have to trust.

I have to let God love me, correct me, heal me, stretch me, and lead me. I have to stop grabbing the tools out of His hands and insisting I can renovate my own soul with a podcast, a planner, and one heroic Monday morning.

The work is His. The surrender is ours. And even the surrender is something we can ask Him to accomplish in us.

Lord, I want to give myself to You, but I am afraid.
Lord, I want to love You, but my love is small.
Lord, I want to be holy, but I keep choosing myself.
Lord, I want Your will, but I also very much want mine.
Lord, take even this. Take all of it. Make me Yours.

It’s hard to trust that God is working when we cannot see results. But the saints remind us that love is powerful. Love “binds” God, not because God is weak, but because God has chosen to be moved by love. He is not conquered by force. He is not persuaded by perfection. He is not impressed by our elaborate spiritual accomplishments.

He gives Himself to love.

And when we love Him, even poorly, even imperfectly, even with a weak and broken, trembling and divided heart, we are already opening the door to everything He wants to give.

Lord, Make Me Holy

The prayer is simpler than we think.

Not, “Lord, show me how to make myself holy.”

But, “Lord, make me holy.”

And then we let Him begin. Again today. Again tomorrow. Again as many times as it takes.

Because our holiness is not our achievement. It’s God’s gift. And He is very good at giving.

With grace,

Note From Me: Stay a Little Longer

One of my favorite things about summer is the way nobody’s in a hurry.

Dinner is over. The dishes are waiting. The day is technically done. And yet somehow, sitting outside, we linger a little longer.

The light hangs in the sky. Someone pulls up a chair. Conversations wander. The dog settles in the grass. Nobody seems to be in a hurry.

I love that.

The dishes can wait.

The email can wait.

Tomorrow’s to-do list can wait.

There is something about a summer evening that reminds me not every good thing is productive. Nothing is getting checked off a list. There is no measurable outcome.

And yet these moments often become the ones we remember.

A conversation. A laugh. A quiet moment watching the sky grow darker. Simply being together.

I spend a lot of my life trying to be useful. To finish things. To make progress. But summer evenings remind me that some of life’s greatest gifts can’t be measured by what they produce. Sometimes the most important thing we can do is stay a little longer.

With grace,

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Sunday Gospel Reflection: God’s Word Takes Root

Gospel for Sunday, July 12, 2026
Matthew 13:1-23

One of the comforting things about the Parable of the Sower is that the sower seems almost reckless with his seed. He scatters it everywhere, on the path, among rocks, into thorn bushes, and onto rich soil. He doesn’t carefully ration it or reserve it only for places where it is guaranteed to grow. He simply sows.

This is how God loves us.

God is constantly planting His word in our hearts. Through Scripture, prayer, the sacraments, the people around us, and even the ordinary circumstances of daily life, He is always speaking. The question is not whether God is sowing seeds. The question is what kind of soil He finds when He does.

Jesus explains that the different soils represent different conditions of the human heart. Sometimes our hearts are hard like a path, worn down by disappointment, resentment, or distraction. Sometimes they are shallow, eager to receive God’s word until life becomes difficult. Sometimes our hearts are crowded with worries, ambitions, and endless to-do lists that slowly choke out the life God wants to grow within us.

The good news is that soil can be cultivated.

Today, it may be worth asking: What kind of soil is my heart right now? Are there rocks that need to be removed? Thorns that need to be cleared away? Areas where God’s word is struggling to take root?

The Sower has not stopped sowing. His grace is still falling generously upon us. Our task is simply to open our hearts and allow His word to grow.

Questions for Journaling or Small Group Discussion

1. When you reflect on your spiritual life right now, which type of soil in Jesus’ parable best describes your heart? Why?

2. Are there any “rocks” in your life, past hurts, doubts, fears, or habits, that prevent God’s word from taking deep root within you?

3. What “thorns” might be choking out your relationship with God? How do anxiety, busyness, material concerns, or distractions compete for your attention?

4. Can you recall a time when God planted a seed in your heart through Scripture, prayer, or another person? What became of that seed?

5. What practical steps can you take this week to cultivate richer soil in your heart and become more receptive to God’s voice?

6. Jesus promises that good soil bears fruit. What fruits of faith, hope, love, service, or holiness do you see God producing in your life, and where might He be inviting you to grow further?

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