Here is a video version of this post for those of you who would rather watch

The Golden Thread

I’ve known for a while now that when I’m walking along the path of my creative endeavors, a subtle kind of momentum can build when I maintain focus on one project...

I start to think about the project more, get better ideas, AND the quality of my work tends to increase..

As long as I do this, the thread that I hold to guide me grows brighter and leads me to greener pastures..

Unfortunately, if and when I let go, it seems to dim back to the way it started and I am at risk of ending up in a wasteland.

While there are many factors that influence and affect this dynamic.. the glow seems to be mainly a function of singular focus and attention over time.

To me, this is clearly the best way to operate and the ideal..

But WHY is it so hard?

Loose Ends

In reality, getting that thread to glow is much easier said than done.

For one reason or another my natural tendency is to swing from thread to thread like a coked up Tarzan.

I plan to write about this in a subsequent post but the entire cascade of ideas that is this post was catalyzed by another interesting and related phenomenon..

The urge to scream.

A few months ago I started noticing that when I would lay down to go to bed, all of my obligations, to-do lists, and commitments would bubble up from my psyche and result in an overwhelm that would literally make me feel the urge to scream.

Not only this, but I noticed all of my health metrics started to plummet as well.. despite having a healthy diet, lifestyle, good sleep scores etc..

This all mirrored the way I’d been feeling physically (which was bad) and what initially prompted me to get a WHOOP band and start tracking everything to figure out what was wrong.

Once I tracked everything for a few months, I loaded up an AI chat with my entire medical history, recent bloodwork, Whoop data and all of my writing and journal entries..

After a lot of conversation and lifestyle experimentation, Claude and I determined that the most likely culprit for my health decline was.. you guessed it…

Burnout.

I simply had too much going on at once and it was cooking me.

Turns out, when you have multiple competing goals and obligations it’s almost impossible to continuously follow a single thread to the land of milk and honey.. or be healthy for that matter.

The Dave Ramsey Snowball

So, at this point in my life I’m currently climbing out of debt..

Not financial debt, but an attention and commitment one.

As I struggle to stop the bleeding, I’m slowly checking boxes and clearing my metaphorical plate of commitments and projects.

Amusingly, this feels similar to the slow and methodical climb out of financial debt that I’ve completed in the past.

It’s essentially a two part endeavor.

1. Stop spending more than you make. (Learn to say no)

2. Start consistently paying off what you owe until you owe nothing.

It seems simple BUT depending on the height of the debt mountain you’re under, it feels unreasonably slow and somewhat insurmountable.

Luckily, I know this is an illusion and I can (and will) find my way out.

Fire Up The Altar

Though I exercise daily and am relatively strong.. learning to say no is a muscle I’ve neglected and just so happens to serve as the most effective weapon in this battle for my time and attention.

Saying no can also be viewed as an exercise in sacrifice..

I can’t help but think of my Bible adventures and everything I learned about sacrifice from the Old Testament.

In my opinion, the obsession with sacrifice in ancient cultures actually had a lot to do with this whole idea of saying no.

I think part of the reason sacrifice was so common in the ancient world is because ordering your priorities and being able to give up something you want (or have) for something you want more is an inevitable part of life and it pays off to be good at it and conscious of it.

As I would assume is the case with most people, I’ve lived a good chunk of my life unaware that I’m constantly making (or failing to make) mini-sacrifices and if I want to get where I’m going I have to bring those decisions into the light and make those choices more consciously and intentionally.

But that concept and practice deserves a whole other post altogether.. consider subscribing ;)

All together now

It seems like to get optimal desired outcomes, you need sustained focus and attention..

To have sustained focus and attention you inevitably have to sacrifice the things that compete for that focus and attention.

The question then becomes, what do I sacrifice and what do I focus on?

What thread do I follow?

Well, at the end of the day that question boils down to what the classic virtue philosophers call prudence or as we see it today, wisdom.

The way we get wiser is by learning.. learning through experience, study, contemplation and paying attention.

This is why I prioritize reading, writing, and meditation into my daily routine.

In some ways, those practices are the only reason I was able to even realize any of this.

I can’t deny that this season of life is a struggle and while it may sound like I have it figured out, I still fail to make the decisions I KNOW I should make and lack the courage to sacrifice the things I know I should..

(courage, by the way, is another one of the classic virtues)

Airing it all out here and looking at it on a screen does help though and I hope this can be useful to anyone in a similar situation.

Honorable mention

If you relate to any of this I have a suggestion for you.

At the beginning of my attempt to clear my plate.. I started using a notion template called Mind Matrix that is a full on life organizer and third brain system.

There is a lot to say about it but I still use it religiously and it’s been a total game changer for me.

It allows me to track and see everything I have on my plate and organize my projects and TDLs in a way that is less overwhelming and shows me front and center what I have going on.. which makes it way easier to see when I have too much going on.

Not a sponsorship or anything, it has just genuinely been so beneficial to me that I have to share it.

If you want to check it out just go here.

Ok so I recently put a new song into the world and it’s the first song I’ve released that uses some AI generated elements…

After looking back on the whole process, I feel like I have something to add to the “AI Art” conversation.

Before I dive in though, I have to caveat that I will not be discussing the ethics side the coin here.

I’m not avoiding the topic because it’s unimportant, but because it deserves its own post and, to be honest, I find ethics one of the most difficult topics to grapple with.

I still have a lot to learn and think about on this front and I just haven’t made my mind up in any meaningful way yet.

Anyways… let’s go!

The Process

The first time I remember my age anxiety making its way into one of my songs was on the eve of my 25th birthday.

Even now at 29, I struggle to put into words the way getting older makes me feel. The specific flavor of discomfort and dread is hard to describe.

Luckily though, I’m an artist.. and what do we artists do when we can’t pin down a feeling?

We make ART about it.

This is essentially what I did with my new song ‘shadows on the pavement’.

I made the first demo in Jakarta almost exactly one year ago from when I sit here writing this. It was again the eve of my birthday and I spent it trying to cram my feelings into the recording software on my computer..

At the time though, I didn’t think much of it and the demo got kicked into my vault to be forgotten.

Fast forward a few months and I was playing around with Suno’s “cover” feature where you can upload a song and it will use AI to remake it in another genre or style..

I pulled that old demo out of the vault and gave it a go.

I was actually pleasantly surprised with what I got out of it and if I’m being honest, making th covers was a super fun and enjoyable experience.

(Check this clip of me doing just that with another one of my songs and being jazzed about the result)

After that, I picked a few versions that I liked, split the instrumentals apart into stems and put a bunch of the new elements back into the original demo.

At the end of the day though, I STILL didn’t like what I had.. so back into the vault it went.

Then, months later when I was back in the states I was listening to my old demos with fresh ears and when I listened to this particular demo.. it brought tears to my eyes because I felt so seen by it.

It was like that unruly twisted emotional experience I had been both consciously and subconsciously wrestling with for years was untangled and laid out in front of me in a way that was beautiful and just beyond any way I could process it on my own.

With the hard earned wisdom that comes from 10+ years of making music, I realized that the song would be much better off in a simpler form so I basically stripped away 80% of the instrumental and started over.. only keeping the essential elements that I couldn’t part ways with.

Some of those happened to be from the AI generations I did months prior.

Some percussion, a violin part or two, an AI choir in the background, and a few other elements made it into the final version.

Even though I used AI to make some of the music AND even some of the lyrics, I’m proud of it and I got the outcome I wanted as an artist.

In addition to this, I turned a recent photoshoot I did into a music video for the song and it’s 100% AI generated.

(Some of the clips were created using real photos of me but every single clip you see came out of a generative AI model)

Now you might be wondering..

Why I’m okay with that

For a while now, I’ve conceptualized art in the following way:

When human consciousness passes through time, we experience reality. This reality is often complex, messy, and confusing.

Processing all of that complexity is difficult and when we struggle to process all of it, we often turn to art.

Just like an engine processes fuel and produces exhaust.. I see art as the exhaust of the human mind processing its experiences.

Through this lens, it’s easy to see how my use of AI to do that^ doesn’t interfere with the primary mechanism at play.

It’s true that it was all easier than it might have been otherwise but…

I still slaved over the song..

I still cried my eyes out over my piano when the right lyric popped up in the chatGPT text box and made its way off the end of my tongue.

I still listened to the first mix (of seven) while I was staring at the sunset and felt a relief and catharsis that nothing else in the world could give me.

After all of that, I just don’t see how someone could say “it’s not art” and to be honest, I don’t even care if it is or not.

The label is unimportant to me and doesn’t give or take anything of value away from the experience… which is where I think the true value lies.

Contradiction?

Many people say AI music is “slop” or “uninspired” or “lame” because it’s just an unthoughtful mix of everything it’s been trained on..

People hold human made music up on a pedestal and like to hammer home the idea that humans are sooo amazing and our music and art is soooo special (which I agree with).

However, given both of those ideas, why wouldn’t you expect some of the AI music to be special and amazing?

If it’s been fed alllllll that special and amazing human made music and is using it to make more.. doesn’t it follow that you would get some actually good outputs?

If all the training data includes what we consider good and special how would a synthesis of that not be special (at least sometimes)?

It’s totally true that a lot of the outputs suck, are lame, and objectively bad.. but so is A LOT of human made music.

I see IG reels all the time with human made songs that are worse than any AI song I’ve ever heard.

I have to admit that at this point, there are AI songs on my playlists and AI songs that I genuinely enjoy and I don’t think I’m alone in that.

Label Shmaebel

From the first days of AI music, I’ve been watching it, playing around with it, testing it, and wondering what it means for us and art in general.

As you can imagine, there’s no shortage of people like me spouting their opinion online.

I’ve consumed a ton of these perspectives and opinions and these days I seem to keep reaching a similar conclusion.

Trying to define art is a dead end.

I remember watching Rick Rubin sit on a podcast and talk about how if you are making music for anyone else besides yourself or considering what other people will like or want.. “That’s not art.. that’s something else”.

Maybe to him that’s true but who gets to define art, what it is, or who it’s for?

Even then, if you enjoy what you’re doing and it’s meaningful to you.. who cares how anyone else defines it?

People could define or categorize what I do however they want and I just genuinely don’t care.

Maybe that’s how you know it’s art..

Either way, AI or not.. I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing.. however I want to do it.

Where do we go from here?

I have a hunch that, in terms of making music, the old way of doing things will not go extinct.

In the same way that people still paint even after the invention of the camera.. people will still make music with instruments and traditional recording methods.

Now there are just new tools in the toolkit..

Depending on how you look at it, there is actually an interesting new opportunity presented to creators who don’t want to use AI because now, a “no AI” or “100% human made” label actually adds value to this kind of work as it inevitably becomes more scarce.

In the same way you hear Tom Cruise or Christopher Nolan touting “NO CGI”. People will add value and intrigue to their work by putting in more effort and doing it the old fashioned way.

I would also like to predict that these new tools will not only change the way we make music and art but also the way we consume it and what it’s for.

For example, on multiple occasions now, I’ve found myself making AI songs FOR an occasion.

Believe me when I tell you, the custom AI song that I played for my friends in the car on the way to see Dune 2, that mentioned them by name, made off-color jokes, and was tailored to our lives and sense of humor… resulted in HUGE smiles, belly laughs, and an experience that I deeply value and will probably always remember.

I’ve also created many instrumentals and funny little songs that go with my vlogs or narrate my blog posts.

(See my butt massage blog post song)

All that to say, it may be hard to predict where this is going and what new ways of integrating and experiencing music or art might arise but I, for one, am committed to having a positive outlook and just taking what good I can from this.

Like I mentioned earlier, I’m very uncomfortable with getting older.. life is short.. too short to NOT just enjoy the good that inevitably comes with a turbulent (and even ethically questionable) development like AI art.

Whatever you think or whatever situation you’re in.. good luck out there. Thanks for reading and if you have any thoughts or opinions on the topic, please don’t hesitate to comment or share!

I’m open minded!

One last thing, I can’t help but share this talk by Jack Conti that’s all about this very topic. It’s one of the most comprehensive and sober takes I’ve heard and it’s 1000% worth a watch if you’re interested in this type of thing. 10/10

April 30th 2025

It was my first time in Vietnam (Da Nang) and my first time ever really living alone in a city where I didn’t know a single soul.

I walked out of the cafe on the ground floor of my Airbnb and across the street to the gym on the corner only to find it closed. The garage door that led to the parking area had been painted completely red with a giant yellow star in the middle.

As I looked around I noticed that there was a surprising number of Vietnamese flags and banners printed with the classic hammer and sickle hanging about..

So far my experience in Vietnam had been amazing but I felt a strange tension when I looked at those hammers and sickles. I discovered that subconsciously I’d been conditioned to associate that symbol with “the bad guys”.

In some ways, it’s a fair association but I was soon to find out that this was just the tip of the iceberg in terms of my deeply ingrained western worldview and values being challenged.

Turns out it was the fifty year anniversary of Reunification Day in Vietnam. Fifty years ago on that day, North Vietnamese soldiers took Saigon and their tanks literally pulled up on the lawn of Independence Palace while the US ambassador was escaping from the roof of the embassy by helicopter.

I walked back from the gym and between sets of push-ups in my apartment, asked perplexity what was going on.

As I read about Reunification Day, I remembered a trailer I had recently seen for a new docuseries on the Vietnam War and made the connection that they had cleverly timed the release of the series for that day.

(Turning Point: The Vietnam War)

Given the fact that I was embarrassingly ignorant about this aspect of US history, I decided I would watch the series and learn about it.

I had never really understood why the U.S. was involved in the Vietnam war in the first place and if you know me, you know once I start wondering about something.. my curiosity knows no limit.

I watched the series over the span of about 3 days and it would be an understatement to say that it shook me to my core. There I was in Da Nang, watching actual footage of civilians fleeing to Da Nang from a massive battle taking place in a key city just to the north called Hue.

It was honestly surreal and being there just made it all so much more heavy and arresting.

I had trouble sleeping for the next few days and in an attempt to clear my head I jotted down the notes and thoughts I had at the top of the draft page that I’m writing this from right now.

There have been many books, movies and documentaries made about this conflict and they all have their own spin, perspective and take.

I don’t know how much more I can add to all of that but nevertheless I feel compelled to share what stood out to me, how it made me feel, and how it altered my worldview because it did indeed alter my worldview.

The Government Is A Liar

Let’s start with how sketchy the government is. While I can sympathize with the fears and concerns about communism at the time, the way the U.S. entered the War in Vietnam, was arguably based on lies (look into the gulf of Tonkin incident). Not only that, but throughout the war the way the media and American leadership presented the situation to the American public was.. often comically inaccurate and as far from the truth as the States are from Vietnam.

I didn’t trust the government before watching this but through this lens I’ve begun to take everything the government says with 0.001 grains of salt.

I think the disaster that was the U.S. military’s pull out from Vietnam illustrates perfectly how when you weave a web of lies and inaccurately represent the situation enough.. you pay.. one way or the other.

The goose comes home to roost or whatever..

The Cost

First, let’s take a quick look at the casualty numbers here (estimates)

• North Vietnamese & Viet Cong military – about 1,100,000 killed.

• South Vietnamese (ARVN) military – about 200,000–250,000 killed.

• Vietnamese civilians (North & South) – about 2,000,000 killed.

• Cambodian civilians and combatants – about 275,000–310,000 killed.

• Laotian civilians and combatants – about 20,000–62,000 killed.

• U.S. military – 58,220 killed.

• Total – about 3,650,000–3,780,000 killed.

You may have noticed that, at the end of the day, civilians paid the price more than anyone. This is often the case in War but when you see footage of these people.. it’s rough.

Something that really muddied the waters in this conflict is the fact that oftentimes, American soldiers couldn’t tell the difference between an enemy combatant and a normal villager.

This inability to distinguish combatants from civilians really blurred the lines and, in part, resulted in some unthinkable situations like the My Lai massacre. (If you haven’t heard about it I strongly suggest you look it up. I’ll spare you the description here).

Another concept I found myself grappling with is that when you see the way many of these people were living (small villages, hamlets etc.. out in the jungle). It’s hard to judge them for resisting the US military.. Think about it. How would they know what side is really right or wrong? How could they judge the quality of the information they had (if any)?

You’re just farming out in the jungle and next thing you know, Marines are pulling up..

It was surprising to me how when I got to hear the testimony of actual VC soldiers in the doc.. I could see where they were coming from.

Barbarism Psychology

Among the many troubling things I was confronted with by this docuseries, one was a video sent to me by a friend titled “The Winter Solider Investigation”. Essentially it’s a hearing where soldiers who had returned home (mid-war) decided to tell their stories and share some of the things they saw and did while they were over there. One of the men (Scott Camil) was actually in the docuseries.

I would advise caution before watching these because the stories truly are some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life. However, if you’re like me and have the misfortune of a morbid curiosity… you can watch it here.

It’s a curious thing how certain situations can turn otherwise normal humans into actual monsters.

On both sides of this conflict you will find that some percentage of the soldiers would engage in versions of murder and torture that you basically couldn’t even imagine..

Humans, for one reason or another, have a capacity to psychologically classify other humans as non-human or “other”. When this happens, as we’ve seen many times throughout history, anything goes in terms of treatment or mistreatment.

I’m often in awe of the human capacity to adapt and also the extremes of that capacity.

For example, the fact that a human can train to a point where they can run 100+ miles, is amazing.

Unfortunately, we can also adapt to death and brutality in a similar way and the extremes of that are documented in the video above.

I was also surprised to learn that there was a phenomenon during the war known as “fragging” where basically, if an officer or someone in a leadership position was being reckless or irresponsible with the lives of the soldiers under him, those soldiers would toss a grenade his way when they got the chance. Apparently this was not uncommon and again, just illustrates the extremes that humans can be pushed to.

With all of that said, these elements seem to be underpriced in terms of the cost of going to war. My guess is that your average civilian (or even politician) are not fully aware of just how depraved things can get when you start pulling numbers out of a hat and sending young men to the other side of the world with an M-16.

Repeat Retardation.

So obviously, I wasn’t around for this conflict but I was around for the global war on terror and the USA’s misadventures in the Middle East.

As I’ve grown up, more of an accurate picture has emerged in terms of what really happened with all of that.. and as I watched this Vietnam doc I couldn’t help but think..

How have we not learned our lesson?

I’m no expert, but in so many ways, these “wars” just seem.. retarded.

I know hindsight is 20-20.. but it’s not uncommon for GWOT soldiers to admit that they didn’t even really know what they were doing over there or that they probably shouldn’t have been over there at all.. and the whole banana was, to some degree, based on lies, greed and ego.

In both wars it seems to me that all of this was started up and allowed to continue under the direction and supervision of men who might as well have had blindfolds on, earplugs in, and a condition closer to down syndrome than you would prefer to be present in someone responsible for sending our youth to go die.

I know these things are infinitely complex and I don’t stand firmly on the perspective above BUT that is the honest truth of how it looks to me from where I sit.

The fact that Vietnam went as badly as it did and THEN we just did version 2.0 in the Middle East is tragic.

Will we ever learn? TBD. Hopefully next time we will just be sending robots.

What An Old Man Thinks

When I got back to the states a couple months later I had the chance to sit down with an old Vietnam vet and talk to him about the war. He was a B-52 navigator and partially responsible for the following statistic:

During the Vietnam War the U.S. dropped around 7.5–8 million tons of explosives on Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam (about three times the tonnage the U.S. dropped in World War II)

That’s a lot..

Anyway, I asked him what his view was of the war at the time and how/if it’s changed over the years.

He proceeded to explain to me that he’s always thought that we could have easily ended/won the war had we just bombed the harbor in north Vietnam where Russia and China were supplying The VC from.

Apparently, we never did because we didn’t want to drag Russia and China into the war. Maybe so.. and maybe that was wise but it just made me wonder..

If it all mattered that much, why wouldn’t Russia and China join the war anyways? The line between, important enough to aid and supply and important enough to start actually fighting is a curious thing.

Important enough to help people kill people.. but not important enough to directly kill people.

More food for thought.

Mayor Vs Mayor

On a lighter note, the documentary featured a cool story about an unlikely friendship.

A bit north of where I was staying in Da Nang, there’s a city called Hue. This city was a key territory that was taken over by the Americans, recaptured by the VC and then taken over again etc.. A lot of fighting and back and forth…

Well, fighting on the American side was a man who would survive and eventually return to the States and become the Mayor of a town called Macon, Georgia. Fighting on the VC side was a man who would survive and eventually become the Mayor of that very city (Hue) after the war.

At one time both of these men were trying to kill each other.. now, fast forward 40~ years and the American soldier made a trip out to Hue and met with the Mayor there and shook hands.

After all the terrible things that happened in the War, the fact that a reconciliation like this is even on the menu is a testament to the human spirit and those limits and extreme capacities I was talking about in the last section.

Hopefully that sentiment can serve as a lil spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.

A Baptism in History

There’s a lot more I could say but I’ll wrap it up with this..

It’s pretty amazing how diving into a heavy and complex historical period like this can really alter your worldview and change the way you look at what’s going on in the world today (or in the past).

The sheer complexity of it all is very humbling and is one of the many reasons I hold my opinions and judgments so loosely.

Generally, these things look a certain way and sometimes seem to be clear but I’ve found that the devil is usually in the details and there are endless details and all of them hosting their own ecosystem of devils.

Paradoxically, the more I learn.. the more I realize how much I don’t know.

Thanks for reading 🦋

Watch my Da Nang Vlog here

Watch my Da Nang Photo Journal here

Down in Orange County, California on the corner of Venus and Galaxy Dr. there’s a bridge. It’s a large concrete pedestrian bridge that connects two neighborhoods via a cylindrical chain link cage that spans about eight lanes of freeway traffic.

Not only are there lights installed along the spiraling path to the top.. there’s lighting inlaid into the bottom of the handrails that gives off a nice vibe… a vibe that makes the bridge feel, to me, like it was designed, at least partially, for pleasure and not just function.

Said another way, it’s a cool bridge..

Back when I lived in Orange County, it was only a world record stone’s throw away from our house.

At the time, my roommates and I frequented it on an almost daily/nightly basis.. Whether it was a jog around the neighborhood or a family walk with Tilly baby honey girl the golden retriever, I went across that bridge a lot.

Usually, one of us would go to the other end and then let Tilly off the leash and she would Usain Bolt to the other end of the bridge and back again with her tongue flapping out of her mouth and a big smile.

I too, liked to run across the bridge. I would run slowly up to the top and then sprint across the freeway full speed with the pedal to the absolute metal.

It’s a unique experience to just pin it and move as fast as your legs will carry you. For me, it actually has an emotional weight to it. It’s like simultaneously letting go and trying really hard at the same time.

Anyway, let’s just say I crossed that bridge many times and many of those times were memorable.

Then.. I moved away and traveled around for over a year.

I set foot in seven different countries..

Swam with dolphins in Bali..

Made music with the sunrise in Costa Rica..

Hired a live band to back me up in Bangkok..

Gave my first live performance in Hanoi..

Filmed a music video in Jakarta..

Survived a massive earthquake..

Went to dinner with strangers..

Wrote hella songs..

Read the Bible cover to cover..

And lived a ton of life..

So much happened. Almost everything changed. I felt like from then on, everything would be different.. however, I eventually found myself back in California.

I kept in touch with my brother and my roommates back in Orange County..

(I play the drums for their band Haute Feels when the opportunity arises).

Well, about a month or two before I returned to America for the holidays.. an opportunity arose.

A tour in Japan.

Next thing I know, I’m sleeping on the floor of my brother’s studio and running rehearsals every day..

Though they’ve moved into a new house, it’s in the same area that I lived before.

A few days after I arrived here, I decided to go for a run.. and you can guess where I found myself.

Running across that bridge again.

The thoughts that made their way through my mind when I made my way across that bridge again, is the whole reason I’m writing any of this.

As I looked down at my feet hitting the concrete I just thought..

Here I am again..

What is even different?

All that travel, all that reading, all that experience.. and here I am looking at the same shoes on the same bridge in the same city, and it all just felt the same.

What was it all for?

If I’m just back here again and it feels the same and looks the same, could I have just skipped everything in between?

What did I really have to show for myself after all that?

I know theoretically there’s a lot to show for myself and all that stuff in between is valuable.. I wouldn’t take it back BUT I couldn’t help but realize that in that moment, as a matter of experience, it felt like I had gone nowhere and done nothing.

Everything felt just the same as the last time I ran across that bridge well over a year ago.

I don’t know what to do with that feeling.

It doesn’t feel bad.. it just feels important. It feels like there’s something to be learned or taken from that experience and I’m not sure what it is.

Maybe it’s about the significance of the present moment and how that’s really all you have.

Maybe it’s about something my friend used to say all the time.. “everything is a circle”.

Maybe everything is a circle.. and a puzzle.

Trying to figure it out is a bit anxiety inducing if I’m being honest.. but I actually don’t think it needs to be.

I reflexively think that finding myself back where I’ve already been is bad because I’m always trying so hard to go somewhere.

As I’m thinking about all this I’m reminded of a quote I saw posted alongside this photo of Alysa Liu’s gold medal free skate performance at the Olympics this year..

Being able to enjoy a moment in the most high pressure situation of your life is something that I think everyone should aspire to.

It’s timely for me because as I age, the pressure to get somewhere is only growing.. and as it grows, it obstructs my ability to enjoy the milestones along the way.

An eternal struggle?

Either way, good food for thought.

I’m gonna go for a run.

Here I am at the top of my THIRD yearly reflection and uh.. I think I’m gonna need a bigger mirror.

Facing Facts First

Just to get the bummers out of the way, I unfortunately didn’t achieve a single one of the big goals I set for 2025.. didn’t even get close.

So, since I couldn’t even check off one of the five boxes.. I narrowed my focus a bit and now have three.

[ ] YouTube Partner Program

[ ] 1M Spotify Streams (YTD)

[ ] 1 Viral Blog Post

Not out of the realm of possibility imo.

Now, the other negative thing I want to get out of the way is the answer to one of the many questions I asked myself in preparation for this reflection.

Q: What was your biggest L this year?

A: Not being able to generate significant interest in anything I was doing.

The funny thing is, when I asked chatGPT to analyze all my questions and answers… it pointed out that one of my biggest wins was that I stayed off of social media last year and that might have something to do with the lack of interest… imagine that lol.

Needless to say, I have, and will, incorporate impact into my goals and intentions this year and I’m currently in the midst of developing a way to show up on social media that doesn’t ruin my life.

Now with that out of the way…

The Fun Part!

Let’s take a photo tour through the highlights of my year! (+ links to relevant and related media)

Music + Monkeys + Ocean view in Costa Rica! 🐒🎶 | Vlog

Music video in Joshua Tree with Haute Feels 📽️ | Vlog

Quiet rooftop mornings in BKK 🌇 | Vlog

Live session w/ Thai band! 🎶

Jungle sunsets in Bali 🌅

Swimming with dolphins 🐬

First ever performance at a cafe in Hanoi 🎤

Surprise roommate (maybe GF?!) 💙

Saw the REAL (dead) Ho Chi Minh

Made MY first music video with a FULL crew!

Getting to be big brother/uncle Dan for a month with young Judah

Avatar 3 w/ the fam! 🔥

Crazy to think that’s just a small percentage of what went down this year.

After putting all that together, there’s no doubt that I’m incredibly lucky.

However, I’ve also discovered that “just going for it” and “getting out there” pays off in ways I could never imagine.

Intentions for 2026

Now, looking back at my intentions for 2025, I would say I made good on about 40% of them (that might be a bit generous) BUT I also edited and refined them throughout the year as my circumstances and priorities shifted so.. it’s hard to know.

Check out last year’s reflection post here

Either way, I’m glad I shot for the moon.

This year, some of those intentions are staying and some will be thrown to the wind and replaced by (hopefully) wiser and more noble ones.

Well.. let’s hear em I guess! (This is subject to change).

• Refine and simplify my thinking and systems

• Strengthen + develop my brand

• Keep the sabbath (new mind sabbath)

• Simplify my possessions to the point where I know every item I own from memory easily.

• Stand up straight with my shoulders back. ‼️

• Surrender path to the Uni (stop worrying)

• Put at least one thing out into the world that people LOVE or DEEPLY VALUE (to the extent it is shared widely)

• Develop the foundation to start my own family

I know that a lot of these need some explaining or at least a bit more context.

I plan on writing stand-alone blog posts on a few of these to really clarify my thoughts, goals and what ways I might increase the odds of seeing this all come to pass.

I’m currently writing this in the airport in Seattle on my way to a month of rehearsals in LA for a JAPAN TOUR!

Let’s frickin go. I already know it’s gonna be another doozy of a year.

As you may have anticipated.. I’m gonna end this with a bit of encouragement to get out there and LIVE! Don’t wait, don’t be afraid, dream bigger, be intentional aaaaand.. good luck Frodo.

🦋

Main things you might want to check out or keep an eye on are my

Vlogs | Photo Journals | (more coming v soon) .

Either way, here are some additional links and goodies (things I did this year)

• I live streamed a walkthrough of my weekly update blogposts EVERY WEEK this year (almost) and called it wonderneath weekly! Streams | Blog Posts

• I also live streamed my music sabbath writing session almost every sunday as well! Watch here.

• When I got back to the states I did a live stream and listened through ALL the songs I made this year so if you want to check that out you can watch here.

• I did a couple interviews and pods on my channel (about God and religion) More coming soon!

• I was a podcast guest on The Life Shift Podcast and Leading Our Own Way

- Dannysuede.com - Music - Youtube - Shop -

Book a video call with me to talk about this or any other topic!

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Happy Sunday! | This Week’s Video

What I’m wondering about 💭

• what’s up with the rattle snake churches?

• is there a new continent?

• how many liters of blood does a human have?

• what is sovereignty?

This Week 🦋

Welllllll I’m leaving BKK to head back to the states tomorrow! It’s been a WILD year! I can’t wait to jump into all my vlog edits and reflect on everything.

Judah’s family just showed up to BKK yesterday and it’s so good to see em all! I wish I would have planned to stay here a bit longer with them!

We all had a super interesting convo about God/salvation/religion and it was SO needed because I’ve been philosophizing these things on my own for so long.. having people with unique perspectives to bounce off of was super fun and useful.

Rob and I went to the Sabai run club downtown this morning (find us in this post hehehe) and we all went swimming and ate pizza at the pool here at the condo this afternoon.

In other news, I’m starting a clips channel called Danny Suede World and it’s gonna host clips of ALLL the stuff I do that are cut from the long form stuff I normally post! Sub that baby!

Lastly, I’ve quit zyns and life is black and white. Joy is but a whisper of a distant memory.. hope, love, and good will.. are all twinkles of the past. What is even the point of this life with out a good ol’ freezer tarp in the upper decky? Only time will tell.

Anyways… gotta pack! Have a good week!

New From Me ❗️

A salvation/Jesus debate with a random youtube guy haha! ⬇️

What I’m Watching 📹

Forget what you know and buckle ur frickin belts for this! ⬇️

All around good guy imo! All love for Theo! ⬇️

Went and saw this w lil shorty.. it was ehhhh ⬇️

What I’m Reading 📚

• How does Jesus make his coffee?! HEBREWS it! hehehe

Photo Dump 📸

Music Demos 🎶

• unity | livestream

• all my life | livestream

Happy Sunday! | This Week’s Video

What I’m wondering about 💭

• do we know what happened to paul the apostle?

• how many russians have died in the russia ukraine war so far?

• what is the verse in jeremiah about the lying scribes?

• what does synoptic mean?

• people say that a word hasn’t changed in the quran for 1500 years is that true?

• what is dispensationalism?

This Week 🦋

Ayo!

I’ve been rippin music, rippin the sauna, and rippin Bible adventures!

I’ve come up with a new way to use AI for research and topic exploration that is super cool! See the video below to check it out!

I’ve been also streaming more often and adding more videos to my Bible Adventures Series if you wanna jump in! The YT comments have been flowing in and I have a debate/interview scheduled for next week and another one pending with this guy.

I’m starting to notice a lot more anti-paul viewpoints cropping up and I think these ideas are gaining steam so I’m eager to dive in!

On another note I’ve been using AI more in my music production process and last week I caught a HUGE VIBE! Check the first 10-20 min of this stream to see it!

I’ll be back in the states soon! Looking forward to spending the holidays with my fam!

I’m heading to LA in February for rehearsals because..

I’M GOING ON TOUR IN JAPAN W/ HAUTE FEELS IN MARCH TO PLAY THE DRUMS SHEEEEEEEE!!!

Have a good week!

New From Me ❗️

Deep dive on “what does it mean to have faith in Jesus?” Suuuuper interesting imo! Enjoy!

What I’m Watching 📹

Anotha one! Blair White (trans woman) just went Christian! Hmmmmm ⬇️

Love a good faith debate! (Israel/Gaza) ⬇️

This dude wants the Jesus/Bible version of Sharia Law lolllll 💀⬇️

What I’m Reading 📚

• 2nd Timothy!

  Supposedly Paul’s last surviving letter before he was killed!

What I’m Listening to 🎧

Move ya hips baby!

Photo Dump 📸

Music Demos 🎶

• my best | live stream

• lift | live stream (vibing dummy hard on this one)

Happy Sunday! | This Week’s Video

What I’m wondering about 💭

• how dangerous is it to go in a rooftop pool in BKK during a storm?

• is the Chinese dude who looks like Elon musk legit?

• what’s going on in Sudan?

• is catholicism outpacing islam?

This Week 🦋

The past two weeks have been a tornado of Bible adventures and my head is still spinning lollll.

This whole process is like an infinite loop of russian nesting dolls.. Each question I ask opens the door to a hallway filled with a thousand other doors and a thousand other questions.. There is a seemingly infinite amount of controversy, disagreement, etccc.. on every topic.

More and more, this just leads to me to conclude that the Bible isn’t a divine text but rather a man made text pointed at the divine.

For now, I’m keeping an open mind and just making my way through the new testament and following my curiosity where it leads..

Check the section below for my new YouTube playlist titled “Bible Adventures” this will be rapidly growing haha..

I’ve found that these type of videos attract comments where the commenter will argue with me for multiple days about these topics haha. I think gotta figure out a way to just say “thanks for the comment” and dip lollll

In other news, I went to see two movies in the theater this week and had a frickin blast. I can’t believe I don’t go to movies at the Cinema more often..

Anywayyyy have a good week!

New From Me ❗️

What I’m Watching 📹

Saw TWO movies in the theater over the past few weeks and they both SLAPPED! ⬇️

This is ROUGH | debate about Jesus, his teachings, Paul etc.. ⬇️

Another total smacker of a vlog from Chris Williamson ⬇️

What I’m Reading 📚

• 2nd Corinthians! - Paul is SUS in my opinion.. Women can’t talk in church? Don’t get married? Hmm

• The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel (Audio Book) - Also v SUS

What I’m Listening to 🎧

• This again!

Photo Dump 📸

Music Demos 🎶

• clarity

Happy Sunday! | This Week’s Video

What I’m wondering about 💭

• in the gospels.. does the roster crow twice or three times?

• What are the main inconsistencies and contradictions in the gospel resurrection narratives?

• Why was baptism happening before jesus if it’s supposed to represent his forgiveness and death on the cross?

• did someone rob the louvre?

• why is zcash poppin’ off so hard right now?

• how old is the ouija board?

This Week 🦋

I just finished reading the Gospels this morning and I’d planned to take my update and video in another direction but the ideas and concepts in the gospels were percolating in my brain all morning and led to a rage fueled perplexity deep dive about salvation and culminated in my update video just being a rant of confusiration (confusion and frustration). Oooooops! 10 points for authenticity though.

Anywayyyys yesterday I watched this Mr. Ballen interview where he tells some wild stories and it really just got me thinking…

I’ve heard crazy ghost/paranormal stories my whole life but just never experienced anything truly extraordinary for myself. I’m hesitant to say I want to have an experience like that cause I know it can get freaky but I really just want to knowwwww if it’s real.

In other news, my music video is slowlyyyy but surely coming along even though it feels like it will never be done. Little by little I’m getting there though and I expect it to be complete before I return to the states at the end of November.

Lastly I got some crazzyyyy news about what the early part of 2026 is gonna look like for me and I’m beaming with anticipation to share hehehe maybe next week.

Anyways have a good week!

What I’m Watching 📹

Nice to see two enemies talk it out! ⬇️

Dude wrote a book about Jesus lollll surprise ⬇️

Dude’s stories are insane hahaha ⬇️

What I’m Reading 📚

• The gospel of John!

I’m wading into the question of salvation and BOY is it a doozy of a question (check this perplexity thread for a deep dive) I’m pullin’ my hair out and growing consistently more frustrated by how unclear and incoherent many of these stories and concepts are. RIP

What I’m Listening to 🎧

Photo Dump 📸

Music Demos 🎶

• blush

What I’m wondering about 💭

• list the social networks by daily active users

• what was the official reason given for the weird dalai lama tongue suck thing with the kid?

• so Matthew 16:28 didn’t happen or what? (end times)

• when did the classic version of a mounted knight start?

This Week 🦋

Ayo! I have a guest this month! If you watched my Costa Rica Vlog.. this family’s oldest son Judah has joined me in BKK for a month!

When I was around his age (14) I took a similar trip to Belize to visit a family friend who was living down there and it was super fun and formative for me at that time. So, I was talking with Judah’s mom Summer, and suggested that he come stay with me for a month before their whole family arrives in Thailand for a vacay and to pick him up.

Really hoping I can be a good influence and have a positive impact on him. While I’m leaning toward just letting him be a free agent and chart his own lil course over here… I also want to try and get him locked into a morning routine with me and start reading, meditating, reflecting, and exercising every day BEFORE being a free agent.

It’s the concept of eating the frog and it’s one of the best habits I’ve picked up over the years so it would be cool to pass it along.

Anyways, just waiting for the right time to suggest it. Either way so far it’s been good and luckily dude is super easy going and low maintenance.

In other news I went to go extend my visa and the line was so long I just bailed and I’m gonna go another day.. should have googled what’s the best time to go but my dumb ass didn’t and ended up there at the busiest possible time lolllll

We live and we learn!

Have a good week!

What I’m Watching 📹

This is INSANE and apparently she has yet to be proven as a fraud | Is Dalia Burgoin legit? ⬇️

Not gonna lie, this dude is pretty likable imo.. not sure about his plans BUT v v v curious to see how things end up in New York! ⬇️

Badass vlog from Chris Williamson! Super insipring ⬇️

What I’m Reading 📚

The Gospel of Mark! (Brain exploding)

Becoming more and more convinced Jesus DID NOT claim to be God. (see this weeks video).

Reading in conjunction with Jordan Peterson’s ‘The Gospels’ Seminar

What I’m Listening to 🎧

Photo Dump 📸

Music Demos 🎶

• coffee

What I’m wondering about 💭

• where is the biggest stockpile of gold in the world?

• how much is a standard gold bar worth?

• Why are there people just standing around watching the executions that just took place in Gaza?

• what is a vicissitude?

• what is polymarket?

• Was Muammar Gaddafi good or bad?

New From Me ❗️

Smile T-Shirt!

Forgot to make this for sale lol! It was supposed to go with the release of my ‘sheets’ live session but better late than never!

➡️ purchase here ⬅️

This Week 🦋

Ayo! I’m happy to announce that I’ve come to the end of the Old Testament! It’s been a long journey lollll.

I’ve spent the last few mornings, compiling my thoughts and notes into a blog post and video outline and I’m excited to share it haha!

Other than that I’m about 70% done with my music video and steaming ahead haha! Go go go!

Have a good week!

What I’m Watching 📹

JESUS CHROIS! (Scope 48:40 if you wanna cry lol)

Dude is 33 and making advanced weapons for the United States Military lol this was 🤯⬇️

Robots are here folks! ⬇️

I know I’m a freak but I love this kind of thing haha so satisfying ⬇️

ChatGPT to roll out AI porn in December! What could go wrong? (06:30) ⬇️

What I’m Reading 📚

MATTHEW!

Sermon on the mount engage! (also watching Jordan Peterson gospel series along with this and so far it’s 🔥

What I’m Listening to 🎧

New bop!

Photo Dump 📸

What I’m wondering about 💭

• list of tallest buildings | what is the jeddah tower

• if i never get sick is that a sign of a good or bad immune system?

• why did king darius have a lion’s den?

• what are the meaningful differences between orthodox christianity and evangelical?

This Week 🦋

Ayo!

This week I’m worried about the coming implementation of digital I.D. and the end of freedom as we know it (see “what I’m watching” section).

I’ve also started down a wild Bible prophecy rabbit hole since I started reading Daniel (see video)

My music video is coming along slowly but surly and I feel as if I’m drowning in the scope of the project but I’m just taking it day by day and hoping to end off with something special at the end! (Lil frame teaser in my photo dump at the end of this post).

In other news, BTC crashed big time today due to Trump’s new tariffs but I’m stoked cause that basically means it’s on sale for a while haha! Buying and holding like my future financial situation depends on it heheheh.

On an end note, I worked out in the pouring rain today.. it’s so easy to complain “oh no it’s raining boo hoo hoo” but I actually find that being in the rain is a serious vibe and especially working out in it… feels like I’m in a movie and training to defeat my archie nemesis 😎

Have a good week! | This Week’s Video

New From Me ❗️

New heartfelt blog post about my creative journey!

What I’m Watching 📹

Big problem with AI (ooops) ⬇️

Interestingggggg Bible Prophecy ⬇️

official Charlie Kirk Murder story is FALLING APART ⬇️

A+ from me ⬇️

R.I.P Freedom. You getting a digital ID? ⬇️

What I’m Reading 📚

• Just got to Daniel!

  Such classic and wild stories that are bringing back so many memories for me haha! Also going down a crazy rabbit hole on the prophecies in there! (see “what I’m watching” section ^)

What I’m Listening to 🎧

Country type week!

Photo Dump 📸

Music Demos 🎶

• wings

• not what we want

I’ll never forget the season of life when I first started playing the drums.

I played for hours and hours a day.

I played until my hands bled.. and kept playing.

Why?

I just liked it. I liked the way it felt. Lifted..

Somewhere along the way, I felt the need to share this passion with other people. It was, after all, overflowing.

Mom! Dad! Come see what I learned!

Eventually I started filming myself and posting it on the internet.

Soon after that I went on a road trip to Seattle with my Dad to get a nicer camera because the footage from my Mom’s purple Nikon Powershot just didn’t do all that passion justice.

We picked up my new Canon Rebel T3i near Seattle and drove home on the North Cascade highway.

Scenic would be an understatement.

I was hanging out the window snapping photos the entire drive home.

And again, I became obsessed.

I haven’t lost my love for the drums to this day but.. the same thing that happened to me when I picked up my first pair of drumsticks.. also happened to me when I pointed that camera at a glacier lake from the window of my Dad’s Saab.

I was carried by that passion for years… never looking up even once.

It took me miles into the backcountry and had me sleeping (freezing) in a hammock.

It took me on tour across the United States with rock bands.

It took me to the third world.

It took me into caves, canyons and concerts.

It introduced me to people I’ll never forget.

It filled my bank account with money without me even having to try…

Somewhere along the way though, I looked up.

I wish I knew why I looked up.. but I don’t.

Maybe it was to check Instagram.

Maybe the spirit that carried me through all of that got tired of being taken for granted.

Maybe it felt used.

I wouldn’t be surprised if it felt used.. at this point, it has been.

Paradoxically though, we are still close.

I can still take it for a spin on a whim but the minute I start trying to go anywhere.. I get nowhere.

I miss those times more and more every day and I often contemplate how to get back there..

Maybe that is just how things go when your whole life is in front of you.. and now that a significant part of my life is behind me, my eyes aren’t as wide.

Or maybe they’re too wide.

It’s funny how passion can make everything more clear because of how blinding it is.

It’s funny how process can get in the way of process.

I used to do things all day and now I just try to do things all day.

My life was like going for a drive just to go for a drive.

Somehow, I went so far by just being where I was at.

It feels like, at some undefined point, I took my eyes off the prize and started sinking.

To some degree, I can’t blame myself because the waves of life are scary and seem worth paying attention to.. but somehow I just never noticed them before.

Maybe that naiveté is what I lost along the way.

As much as I’d love to go back there.. trying to go somewhere never gets me anywhere.. at least not in the same way that just going there did.

What I’m wondering about 💭

• what is the CCRU numagram? (Tucker Interview)

• what are the specifics of the mark of the beast?

• FDR had three terms as u.s. president?

• what is the going rate for a hooker in the USA

This Week 🦋

I’m experiencing a growing and compounding feeling that is somewhat hard to pin down but I would maybe describe it as ambient psychological discomfort. I’m actually doing well and feeling generally happy/optimistic BUT I think that the rapidly evolving technology and media space just has me feeling an increasing amount of uncertainty.

The progression in AI really has me questioning what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I have a feeling that I’m just starting to notice the effects of the AI takeover and the implications of that for my life and trajectory.

I’m once again rethinking my priorities, how I spend my time, my goals etc..

I think I’m going to start writing a lot more because I’ve found that when I’m uncertain and confused, writing tends to be the best way to work through that and figure out what I actually think.

Anyways, still just working on my music video and powering through! A lot to share and talk about on this week’s video!

Have a good week!

What I’m Watching 📹

Kpop Demon Hunters! ⬇️

Network State Conference ⬇️

War Department Speech (Pete Hegseth) ⬇️

What I’m Reading 📚

Ezekiel!

Not gonna lie, the repetition is getting to me lollll! Powering through at this point.

What I’m Listening to 🎧

Last episode!

(Peep 4:38:55 if you want to be disturbed and get a small taste of how bad these times were and how the culture and mindset of the Japanese at the time was basically unfathomable to most of us today.)

Photo Dump 📸

What I’m wondering about 💭

• why are there so many ladyboys in thailand but not any mangirls?

• what’s the best way to know my hydration level?

• what’s the highest tier of marines?

• how did the ambassador in Benghazi die?

• what are the meaningful differences between sunni and shia?

This Week 🦋

Ayo!

I went on a date this week! It was eh and kinda weird tbh but not horrible. I’m planning to go on many dates due to my ever-increasing desire to start a fam.

Other than that I’m still just locked in on my music video edit! Some sneak peeks in this week’s video.

Have a good week!

What I’m Watching 📹

Vivek on free speech 🙏🏻

R.I.P America :/

Super interesting take on the Charlie Kirk assassination (not convinced though)

What I’m Reading 📚

• Ezekiel! | Chapter 1 one is BANANAS and, in my opinion, likely a drug trip.

What I’m Listening to 🎧

• The groove in this is nasssssty

• I’m telling ya.. this series is soooooo crazy and literally worldview shifting for me. The stuff that went on during the conflict with Japan in WWII is actual unbelievable.

Photo Dump 📸

Music Demos 🎶

• what to doodad

What I’m wondering about 💭

• how long do you have for a grenade to explode one you pull the pin?

• is there rising HIV in Thailand?

• how much worse was the rape of nanking in china than what’s happening in gaza?

• who was ed gein?

• is thailand or indonesia more impoverished?

This Week 🦋

Ayo! I’m settled in my little guest house here in Bangkok! It’s not what i’m used to but it’s not bad! The thing about traveling all the time is that there’s ALWAYS tradeoffs..

I don’t have a gym here BUT I have unlimited hot water (which I did not have in Jakarta). I have hella fast wifi here and my wifi in Jakarta was a potato connection.. etc etc etc..

I’ll be basically locking in and working on my music video for the next month or so.. So far it’s turning out SIIIICK.. Considering a return to social media to launch it. We will see.

Anyways.. I’ve got some wild stuff to talk about on my livestream!

Have a good week! 🦋

What I’m Watching 📹

• Louis C.K. redemption ark is tbh heartwarming

• Didn’t realize this.. but the network school I applied to in Singapore is open for enrollment if you want pay $3000/month for a private room + gym + food + other perks.. Heavily leaning towards saying fuck it and going haha

• I can’t say this definitively but somethin fishy is goin on with Charlie Kirks Murder..

• And my desire to have children grows even further..

What I’m Reading 📚

• Just finished Jeremiah and on to Lamentations! Some interesting thoughts on Jeremiah in this weeks video though!

What I’m Listening to 🎧

• I’m telling ya.. if you like history and you can get through this first episode’s setup.. when Pearl Harbor hits… it hits different.

Photo Dump 📸

What I’m wondering about 💭

• what does quotidian mean?

• what is the civilian to combatant death ratio in the Israel Gaza conflict?

• What are the top 10 rivers by volume?

• Is “God’s suffering servant” in Isaiah 52 referring to Jesus?

• Compare USA and Indonesia murder rates

This Week 🦋

Wow what a week…

My music video shoot went great! It was such a cool and unique experience for me and all-in-all I really enjoyed it. I had a dedicated BTS camera guy there so expect to see a lot of photos and videos in the future!

Out of everything, I think the coolest part for me was seeing so many people there to work on MY art and help me bring my idea to life. It made me feel important and seen haha. Maybe that’s vein? I’m pretty used to creating in a vacuum and doing almost everything on my own. I made my last two music videos about 99% solo so, to have like 25+ people involved was… validating? Idk. All good vibes! Can’t wait to share!

Now, switching lanes.. as you probably know, Charlie Kirk was shot and killed this week and the internet exploded. Honestly I don’t really know what to say about it right now other than it’s sad and scary. That, among other things, has me doing a lot of thinking about the future of America, the concept of free speech, human nature and a host of other related topics.

I logged onto X to get the real-time news on the situation and in the span of about 2 hours I saw a woman get stabbed to death on a bus, Charlie Kirk get shot, and a severed head get rolled across a parking lot in Texas where the killer then went and picked it up and walked around with it.

Safe to say, I think I’m onto something with my constant attempts to avoid the cesspool which is social media.

Sorry, I know that’s graphic and depressing. I wish I had something positive or encouraging to say but.. I guess I would just recommend limiting your time online if you’re like me.

Anyways… I’m gonna just brain dump in this week’s video so here you go!

Have a good week!

What I’m Watching 📹

• Jesus diiiid claim to be God? Hmmmm

• Pretty wild Andrew Tate interview

What I’m Reading 📚

• Jeremiah!

  We continue with the (seemingly endless) cycle of the Israelites sinning and paying for it! (Some interesting thoughts in this week’s video)

What I’m Listening to 🎧

• Bruh! Hardcore History RIIIIPS!

Photo Dump 📸

note: this week’s video is JUST the “what i’m wondering about” section.

If you want the full post walkthrough, stories, Bible adventures, photo dump commentary and personal details about my life etc you have to become a paid subscriber. You will find the full video and other goodies at the end of this post!

Happy Sunday! | This Week’s Video

What I’m wondering about 💭

• how do fire alarm systems in large condos work?

• explain me the 67 meme

• has US customs and immigration been asking people about their views on trump and Israel?

• can river dolphins live in the ocean and vice versa? (cuuuuute)

• how universal is the Pareto distribution?

• has ryan graves been discredited?

• why is the job market in Sierra Leone so bad?

This Week 🦋

Ok so I’m shooting my music video tomorrow and I’ve been preppin’ like a middle-aged white man from rural America!

My call time is 6am haha so it’s gonna be a long day!

Since I’ve been so dialed in it’s been a relatively uneventful week besides the fire alarm going off in the middle of the night a few days ago and sending me into a full on panic lol.

Due to poor planning, I was out of clean underwear because my laundry hadn’t been dropped off yet so I was sleeping in the nude. When I woke up to the fire alarm blaring I was comically tripping around my room butt ass naked in the pitch dark frantically trying to find pants and figure out how to put them on.

Turns out.. being an idiot + going from deep REM to full panic mode = not realizing you can just turn the light on and actually SEE… ooop.

The funny thing is, I actually prefer to sleep naked but I don’t do it SPECIFICALLY for this reason. If there is an emergency, I’d rather not have to face it balls out.

About the time I finally got my pants on, the alarm turned off (false alarm) but I was so paranoid after that I couldn’t sleep so I still went down to check out the building lolllll!

Anyways.. that’s that! I’ll report back about my video shoot in the next update!

Have a good week! 🦋

What I’m Watching 📹

• NOTHING!

  To prepare for my video shoot I decided to just cut out all media full stop and lock in! It’s been nice. Once again, the clarity that comes from a media cleanse is pretty remarkable.

What I’m Reading 📚

• Isaiah

  I know last week I was dumping on the chapter where it seems like he is talking about Jesus but he’s really not.. However, in the service of balance, I have to admit that this week I got to chapter 53 (God’s suffering servant) and it really does sound like he’s talking about Jesus haha oops. It’s another thing to look more into though.. wouldn’t be surprised if it was another SUS translation.

What I’m Listening to 🎧

• This on repeat to prepare for my shoot hahahah

Photo Dump 📸

Wonder Fam Section 💸 ☁️

This week we have:

• New song demo! (see the world) 🔥

• Scene demo frames for my music video

• Full life update and post walkthrough video

• Link to book a free 1:1 video call with me

(if you really want access to this stuff and 5$/month causes you serious financial stress, just shoot me a message or email and I’ll give you access for free. Just don’t tell anyone cause I’m trying to get a bag here)

Read more

Happy Sunday! | Here’s this Week’s Video

What I’m wondering about ☁️

• are there other gods in the old testament?

• how many of Isaiah’s prophecies and predictions actually came true?

• is it true that the most common command across all of the major religious texts is “do not fear”?

• to what degree will eating a large cheese pizza help me gain muscle?

• what is firmware?

• how does the Norwegian sovereign wealth fund work?

• how many civilians were killed when USA NUKED japan?

• does the IDF use drones with guns on them?

  ---

This Week 🦋

Welp… A bunch of protests and riots just kicked off and it’s like Indonesia’s version of George Floyd 2.0 over here.. Luckily, I’m pretty far away from all the chaos. Hope everything chills out and everything gets figured out soon.. A couple people have already died in the madness so RIP to them.

Yesterday, I went to walk through the studio where we will be shooting my video and meet some of the crew to go through the plan for lighting etc.. everything is coming together nicely so far! I have a haircut and some shopping coming up and the shoot is on the 8th! Pray for me if you’re someone who does that!

Speaking of prayer… I’ve dived deep back into my Bible adventures when I hit Isaiah and have a lot to say about it haha. The more I learn and read, the more my mind gets blown and constantly rediscover how things are so different from what I used to think or had assumed.

I actually went back and re-listened to this entire pod to try and wrap my head around what’s going on in the old testament in terms of “the gods” and other puzzling references and concepts. This is what I’ll be focusing on in this weeks video!

Have a good week!

New From Me ❗️

New BKK vlog + photo journal if you missed it!

What I’m Watching

• 70% of the worlds known reserves of nickel cobalt and other rare earth metals are in one single deposit at the bottom of the ocean and this dude is mining it! 🤯

• interestingggg

• Andrew Tate and his son (punch the bee)

What I’m Reading 📚

• Isaiah!

  So far vvv interesting and have been looking into his supposed mention of Jesus and how it’s been commandeered by modern christians and wasn’t really talking about Jesus. (see this week’s video)

What I’m Listening to 🎧

• Linkin Park throwbacks!!! 🔥

Photo Dump 📸

Wonder Fam Section 💸 ☁️

This week we have:

• Early access to “i miss this” new blog post

• Booking link to schedule a free video call with me

(if you really want access to this stuff and 5$/month causes you serious financial stress, just shoot me a message or email and I’ll give you access for free. Just don’t tell anyone cause I’m trying to get a bag here)

Read more

What I’m wondering about 💭

• Were babies really burned in ovens on October 7?

• Was there a recent earthquake in Jakarta?

• Who voices marlin in Finding Nemo?

This Week 🦋

Wherever I go.. the earth shakes.

So apparently there was just a 4.9 magnitude earthquake here in Jakarta and thank GOD I didn’t feel it. Idk what I was doing when it hit but I was not paying attention.

I just had a meeting with the director of my music video and he said he ran out of the office building that he was in when it hit. Oooof

Luckily, another one is very unlikely but you never know..

Speaking of earthquakes, my new BKK vlog #2 is out today so scroll down a weeee bit and check it out! There is also a 2 minute photo journal if you’re short on time!

The vlog includes:

• The making of my ‘sheets’ LIVE session

• Aquarium

• EARTHQUAKE!

• First float tank experience

• Much more!

Have a good week!

New From Me ❗️

What I’m Watching 👀

• Another MASSIVE worldview shifter! It’s crazy how hard it is to figure out what the Bible REALLY says.

• Sad but compelling

• Interesting to say this least… This swayed me for sure.

What I’m Reading 📚

Proverbs baby! Here are some that I’ve highlighted!

It’s God’s privilege to conceal things and the king’s privilege to discover them.

There is more hope for fools than for people who think they are wise.

Work brings profit, but mere talk leads to poverty!

What I’m Listening to 🎧

Photo Dump 📸

Wonder Fam Section ☁️

Paid subs get:

• Full Update Video!

• New song demos and commentary

• ‘sheets’ music video 3D scene previews (video)

(if you really want access to this stuff and 5$/month causes you serious financial stress, just shoot me a message or email and I’ll give you access for free. Just don’t tell anyone cause I’m trying to get a bag here)

Read more