Fellowship is an important part of living as a follower of Jesus. Fellowship with other believers can be encouraging and can help build one another up.

When we hear about fellowship, we usually think of church. Several churches even have the word fellowship in their name.

According to the dictionary fellowship means friendly relationship; companionship; an association of persons having similar tastes, interests; friendliness. We can find fellowship in church, but that certainly is not the only or best form of fellowship.

I grew up in the organized church and thought for years I was having good fellowship every time I attended a Sunday morning service. As time went on, I began to question if we were actually enjoying good fellowship or not. If fellowship was a relationship or companionship with others, how was that being obtained by sitting in a pew every Sunday looking at the back of someone’s head? We never really showed friendliness just sitting there, and we never knew if the person in front or back of us had the same tastes or interests. How were we having fellowship when we just sat and listened to a select few run the program?

After my wife and I decided to leave the organization and live outside the walls of religion, we wondered how we would find fellowship with others of similar tastes. Truthfully, it did not take long. God started bringing people across our paths in places and at times we never expected.

We were sitting in a local cafe one morning relaxing and drinking our morning coffee when we noticed two men at the next table. One was a young long-haired rock group looking person talking with an older gentleman. We could not help but hear their conversation at times and we kept hearing them talking about God and life in Christ.

After some time of listening, we decided to politely ask about their conversation and found that the younger guy was in a Christian heavy metal band, had left the traditional church a few years ago and was living outside the walls of religion like us. This was an encouragement to us because it showed us that God will bring people to us for fellowship any time and in any place.

We have met many people over the past two years who have similar tastes and interests on our path outside the walls. We have joined people many times at a restaurant or in our homes for fellowship and food. Most of the time it has only been 3 to 5 people, but we have had so much more meaningful fellowship with others outside of traditional church than we did sitting in the typical service.

As written in 1 Corinthians 14:26… what then shall we say, brothers and sisters? When you come together, each of you has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. Everything must be done so that the church may be built up.

To my wife and me, the church mentioned here is not a building of four walls with a select few people running the program on a set day and time. The Church is a community of Christ followers who have a friendly relationship and associate together any day, any time, any place. When Christ brings us together to lift up Christ and his love, to encourage one another and to get to know the tastes and interests of each other, that is real fellowship.

Obviously, fellowship can also happen with people of different tastes and interests, different faiths, and different lifestyles. We can be loving and accepting of all as we get to know and understand each other and treat each other with kindness, respect and friendliness.

Yet fellowship among believers is needed for us to be encouraged and built up. As mentioned in Hebrews 10:25… not forsaking our own assembling together as is the habit of some but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the day drawing near. This verse in no way says we must assemble in a building with a set program on a set day or led by a select group of people. This verse just means as followers of Christ we need each other. We need time together getting to know one another, build one another up in Christ and live a life that shows the world the good news of the gospel, which is that God loves each and every one of us.

Over time, I have read many articles about church abuse. It seems many Christians have been through bad times in the organized church, and they have become angry and frustrated with the system. I can say that it is certainly understandable.

For me, I cannot say I went through anything I would call abuse in the system. I grew up in church and was very active over the years. I truly felt I was doing what was pleasing to God and I was earnestly trying to learn and do what I thought God would want me to do.

So, when I hear all the abuse stories and all the troubling times in organized religion, I do not always relate. I know there are many people in the modern, organized church that truly love God and are trying to please God. I also realize there are many people who were unduly abused in various ways during their church life, and that is so very sad.

For me, after several years of being unsatisfied with the system and feeling there certainly had to be more to it than what I had been part of, I dropped out of traditional church. Obviously, this has to be something you feel is right for you, and I do not think it is a good thing to tell people they should do the same. This is a choice that each believer has to make for themselves. I came to this conclusion after many years of seeing things, questioning things, reading things and just being completely frustrated with the system of organized religion.

I have no regrets in leaving, although I have no regrets for being a part of it for so many years either. I learned a lot and made a lot of good friends. Of course, because of the years involved, there are many beliefs and ideas I need to detox from and have been doing so for a few years now.

Since I feel the system is wrong, I have decided to walk with God outside the walls of the organized church. Not that I think anyone is intentionally trying to do what is wrong, but the whole modern-day organized church is off base. Granted, the system is the only thing we know. It has been this way for years, and we grew up with it and thought it was the way it should be.

We have been conditioned to equate assembling together with sitting through a structured Sunday morning church service. Nowhere does scripture tell us that assembling together has to be done in a particular way, at a special time or in a set place.

Traditional teaching positions the pastor as the spiritual head, serving as the primary source of instruction, authority, and guidance. Of course, God tells us that Jesus is the head of the church, which is his body, and the Holy Spirit is our teacher, therefore, we need no one to teach us other than him.

We are taught that we are saved by grace, but we need to live by the law to be pleasing to God. Reading through Paul’s teachings, it is easy to see that we live by grace, and trying to live under law is a curse (Galatians 3:10-13). Jesus fulfilled the Old Covenant and the Law for us. Jesus did the work; Jesus died and ended the Old Covenant and renewed our fellowship with God. Upon his resurrection, the New Covenant began, and we now live by grace. We are now to love God with all our heart and love one another.

The Law was a tutor for us until Jesus restored our right standing in God. Because of that, a tutor is no longer needed because we have come to Christ and depend on his work and grace.

We are taught that the Bible is the true, living, inerrant word of God. John 1:1 tells us that in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. To me that says that Jesus is the living Word. The Bible is inspired yet written, interpreted and translated by men. We are not to look to the Bible as the all-powerful, inerrant source of what God has to say. We should look to Jesus who is our all in all, our very life.

We are taught to tithe, although that is not taught under the New Covenant. Giving as we see a need and as we feel led is now done out of love, not tithing to the church as a requirement. I personally feel that the church today is more of a big business than it is a religious organization. Tithing is pushed because the organization needs to have the bills and the salaries paid. Yet most pastors will say we are giving to God, when we are actually just paying the bills of the organization.

We are told we are poor sinners saved by grace and that we are weak, unrighteous worms who are unworthy of God’s love. Yet in the beginning, God looked at all that was made and called it good. Now, through Christ we are raised up with him as new creatures and restored to what God calls good. We are the house of God, and we are holy and righteous in his sight through Christ.

People want to put themselves under the authority of a pastor or the elders of the church, but God says we are all kings and priests and Jesus is the head. We all have something to say when we come together to build one another up. There are no levels of authority among believers. We are all equal parts of his body and have equal parts to play in encouraging and building one another up.

I think an important fact for us to remember is that no matter if you are ‘in church’ or outside the walls, we should be looking at each other in love and not be fighting and arguing amongst ourselves. Whether you are going to church, you are going for the Lord, or if you do not go to church, you are doing so for the Lord. Accept each other as brothers and sisters in Christ, pray for one another, encourage one another, and stop looking down on people who see things differently than you.

Even those outside of Christianity need our love, not our condemnation. Jesus loved those who the religious leaders of his day did not want to associate with. We want our Christian church, Christian schools, Christian dating sites, Christian this, Christian that, whatever we can do to be separate and apart from non-Christians, yet we are told to go into all the world and share his love with everyone.

I truly feel that being a follower of Jesus is a daily lifestyle. Being the Church is a 24/7 way of life, not a Sunday only thing. God is building the Church, which is us, and God no longer lives in buildings made with hands. We are the Church; we are God’s house. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit. We are the body of Christ. We function together as equal parts of the body under the headship of Jesus. We may be the only Jesus a lot of people will ever know.

We need to adjust our way of thinking and realize that church and Christianity are more than a religion. It is a lifestyle we live day by day. Jesus is our life; it should no longer be trying by religious effort but resting in what Christ has done for us. We are in Christ and it is by the power of the Spirit within that makes the difference.

My wife and I for years have gone to church Sunday after Sunday. We sat in a pre-planned service being entertained, listening to one person tell us what God was saying, and looking at the back of the head of the person sitting quietly in front of us.

Each week we sat there, not having the opportunity to say what was on our minds, no chance to talk and get to know our brothers and sisters sitting all around us. We were told we were having good fellowship and teaching, learning more about God each week.

Truthfully, we were getting so tired of this religious social club environment. We were not getting anything out of this experience, and we certainly were not putting anything into it, other than our money when the offering plate went past. We have become tired of the religious enterprise with its pre-planned services, the CEO and board of directors, along with the gimmicks and programs designed to bring the people in, especially when we were told to go out into the world, not sit in a building.

We are finding that true community is believers living their lives daily with one another by caring, loving, assisting, encouraging, and building one another up. This is what is known as the true Church. It is fellow believers living daily for Christ, not a once-a-week trip to a building and sitting there for an hour. Some people have turned to house churches rather than organized religious organizations. As Ken Eastburn said in one of his postings, “Organic house churches are different than Bible studies or small groups as to fellowship and caring for one another. Meeting together once a week to study and discuss the Bible is fine, but an authentic family of God is different. It goes deeper. Coming prepared to meet the needs of others, even when it is inconvenient, demonstrates the love of Christ”.

We consider ourselves followers of Christ, but not followers of a church organization or pastor. We go about our normal daily business sharing the love of Christ with everyone and listening to the Spirit as our teacher and guide. We assemble with our brothers and sisters in Christ any day, anywhere the opportunity arises. Sunday is not the Lord’s Day, every day is the day the Lord has made. God’s house is not a building where we gather with people who believe similar things, but God’s house is us, the people, those of us who follow the example of Jesus. We are called to love God and love our neighbor as ourselves, not just those who believe like we do.

It is not wrong to go to church, but keep in mind what it is and what it is not. For me and my wife it has been good to stop being part of the Sunday morning crowd at a building. It has us looking to God more, listening for the voice of the Spirit within us, and allowing the Spirit to teach us rather than one man. It has us loving and accepting people as they are, not just those who believe like us. The Church is meant to be a community, living, loving and caring for one another each and every day. Although we have not yet completely found what we are looking for, we are trusting God to lead us and bring us into a community of believers he has for us. As Dan Notti said in one of his postings, “Believe God for it. Authentic community is God’s intention for believers. He has made the provision for it through the work of his Son and the power of the Holy Spirit, and He has the patience and love to stand with us as we experiment with living into it. Can we believe him for that”?

A recent mishap got me to thinking about objects, things and relationships.

Those of us who have lost a loved one know how objects or things that belonged to our loved one has special meaning. The person is gone and all we have are the special items that used to be theirs.

One Mother’s Day, I got up and was making coffee for my wife and myself. We have always kept my mom’s sugar bowl after her passing and used it each day. When I was putting it away, I hit the bottom of the cabinet and it slipped out of my hand and shattered all over the counter. I felt absolutely horrible. It felt like another piece of my mom was gone.

I began thinking about how we get so caught up on things. It makes sense in the human aspect, the loved one is gone and all we have are the things that bring those good memories to mind. These things are not the person, but they help us think about the person.

Spiritually speaking, we so often seem to do the same thing. We have been taught that God is up in heaven, separated from us and we are waiting for some future day when we will be united. Because of this, we get caught up on the things of God more than on God directly. We look at things about God that help us think about, learn about and remember God, yet they are not God.

We start looking to the Bible as the only way to hear from God. Sometimes we go so far as to make the Bible part of the Godhead and worship it, not seeing it as a book inspired but written by men about God. We look to a building we call the church as a place to go meet with God. We pray for God to show up or the Spirit to fall when we meet in ‘God’s house’.

The truth of the matter is the living Word of God is Jesus, and he actually lives within us through the Spirit. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit, we are God’s house. We are one with God as Jesus prayed in John 17: 20-22: “I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me. The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one.

Humanly speaking, when a loved one dies all we have are things that once belonged to our loved one. All we can do is use those things for pleasant memories of the relationship we once had with that person.

Spiritually speaking, we do not have to focus on the things of God because we have God right here within us. We can enjoy reading the Bible and seek truth as the Holy Spirit guides us. We can attend services if we choose in a building or anywhere else two or three gather. Yet, we do not have to look to these things of God as our main and only source of knowing God. To do this is to miss the most important part, which is a daily relationship with the living God who is within us.

Many of us who claim Christianity usually find a place to worship with others who are like-minded. Yet, so often it seems that we Christians cannot accept or agree with one another.

Even after many years of attending the same church with the same friends, if we leave one church for another, usually those friends stay behind and we may not hear from them again.

This makes me wonder why the building seems to be so important. Is our Christian love for one another really that dependent on a building?

My wife and I grew up in the organized church system, and we have many friends who are still a part of the institutional church system. Yet, after many years of feeling uneasy, questioning, thinking there has to be more than just sitting in a pre-planned service every week, we decided to look for fellowship outside the walls of a building. We felt that sitting in a service every week, listening to someone else tell us what they think God is saying is really not that biblical.

The Bible talks about the priesthood of ALL believers. 1 Peter 2:5, 9. It talks about when we assemble, each one has something to say. 1 Corinthians 14:26. We say we are going to the Lord’s house, yet the Bible says we are the temple of the Holy Spirit 1 Corinthians 6:19.

Truthfully, how much fellowship do you get sitting in a service looking at the back of someone’s head? The most fellowship I remember in a situation like that was when the pastor told us to get up and shake somebody’s hand. I do not call that real fellowship.

We are finding more fellowship outside the walls of organized religion when we meet with other Christians during the week. Often, we meet online. Sometimes we meet in houses, cafes, and restaurants. We talk about what God is doing and what grace means to us. We are getting to know more about each other, we pray for one another and care about each other. Open discussion makes more sense to us rather than just sitting, listening to one person talk.

People say by not going to church, we are disobeying the Bible where it says to not forsake the assembling of yourselves together. We always ask where it says that it has to be in a particular place on a particular day in an organized service. It does not say that, and meeting anytime or anywhere two or three come together, talking, praying, enjoying each other is a more meaningful assembly to us.

I say all of this to ask this question, why can’t we accept each other where we are currently in our walk with God. It does not make a difference if you go to church or not, or if you think Sunday is a holy day or not. It’s OK to think of every day as the Lord’s day and not just Sunday. It is OK to realize church is not a building you go to but the people, saved by grace, living their lives for God daily.

We need to realize God is working in each of us in different ways. We are at different stages in our walk with God and we are not all going to be the same. Let’s accept each other and not try to force our way of thinking on everyone else.

God is our focus. Loving God and loving each other is what we are to do as followers of the way of Jesus. Other than that, we should let our way of doing things be just that…our way. We should not expect everyone to agree with us and do things just like we do.

None of us have it all figured out. None of us are right on everything. Many views and ideas in the Bible are up to interpretation based on word meanings and customs of the day at the time of writing. We all have various ideas on interpretation. We will never agree on everything, yet we often get mad at other Christians when they see things differently.

Let’s accept each other in the love of Christ, realizing that God is in control and the Spirit will lead us into the truth in His timing. It is not our job to force others to see things our way. It is our job to love each other, accept each other and encourage one another. God will do the rest.

Guest Post by Jim Palmer
https://www.facebook.com/jimpalmerauthor

They told you faith had to come with a brand name. They told you spirituality had to be stamped, certified, and approved by the institution. They told you God had to look like the one they preached about, dressed up in dogma and chained to doctrine. They told you Jesus was only for Christians, church was mandatory, and your soul had to be managed by professionals.

They lied.

Here’s the scandalous truth:

It’s okay to believe in God without bowing to the God of religion. You don’t have to worship the idol of institutional power to experience the divine.

It’s okay to find significance in Jesus without pledging allegiance to Christianity. You can honor his life and wisdom without signing up for the brand.

It’s okay to have authentic, soul-deep relationships without ever setting foot in a church pew. Love doesn’t need a steeple to be holy.

It’s okay to cultivate practices that nourish your spirit without slavishly following a checklist. Rituals are meant to liberate, not enslave.

It’s okay to embrace spirituality without being shoved into the binary of atheist or believer. You don’t have to choose sides in their false war.

It’s okay to be wherever you are on your spiritual journey—uncertain, wandering, questioning—without fitting into any box. Your path is valid even if it terrifies the gatekeepers.

It’s okay to guide your own deconstruction without earning a PhD in theology, philosophy, or psychology. You don’t need academic permission to dismantle illusions.

It’s okay to embody love, compassion, wisdom, courage, and integrity without erecting a towering belief system to prove it.
Your life is the only testimony that matters.

You don’t need permission. You don’t need credentials. You don’t need to justify your soul to anyone. The gatekeepers will scream “heresy,” but heresy is just another word for freedom. The truth is, you are already sacred. You are already worthy. You are already enough.

Stop apologizing for not fitting their mold. Stop letting them define what counts as “real faith.” Stop letting them cage your spirit in their categories. Tear down the walls. Burn the boxes. Walk out of the prison of “should” and “must” and “only.”

Your spirituality doesn’t need to be explained, defended, or packaged. It doesn’t need a label. It doesn’t need a brand. It doesn’t need a pulpit. It doesn’t need a book deal. It doesn’t need a theology degree. It doesn’t need their approval.

It only needs to be lived.

So live it. Live your truth. Live your freedom. Live your love. Live your courage. Live your wisdom. Live your integrity. Live your messy, unfinished, beautiful journey.

And if anyone calls you a heretic, smile. Because heretics are the ones who refuse to bow, refuse to conform, refuse to surrender their soul to someone else’s system. Heretics are the ones who dare to be free.

Finally, free at last!

This site is for anyone who is interested in reading our posts whether you agree or disagree. Yet, this site is mainly for those who are questioning some of the things we were taught in church, those who are tired of the religious dogma, and for those who are thinking about leaving or have left the institutional church.

There are many different stories and different ways we have come to this point, and if interested, feel free to post a paragraph or two about what led you to this point.

I know we do not all agree on everything, but hopefully we can accept one another even in our differences. I have found that talking about personal stories like this is always a help and encouragement to others.

This is not a place for debate and arguments, just a place to tell others how you got to the point of questioning your faith and/or leaving the institutional church. No right or wrong answers, just personal stories of encouragement.

Many of us know there are two sections of the Bible, the Old Testament and the New Testament. We also know there are two different covenants, or agreements in the Bible. Unfortunately, not everyone realizes when the Old Covenant ends and the New Covenant begins. We tend to forget that the Old Covenant does not end with Malachi, which usually is the end of the Old Testament. Also, many do not realize that the New Covenant does not start with Matthew, which usually is the beginning of the New Testament.

For the thirty-three years that Jesus walked the earth, He was still living under the Old Covenant, and that required following all its rules and regulations, or what we call the Law.

The New Covenant began when Jesus was crucified. When He said ‘It is finished’, He was talking about the Law, the Old Covenant. Upon His resurrection the New Covenant began and we are no longer required to live under the Law, or the way of the Old Covenant.

The old agreement was basically a tutor. A way God used to show humans that we were unable to live a life of fellowship with God on our own. It was a way to show us that we needed someone to restore our fellowship with God. Jesus came and lived on earth to do just that, restoring us to a right standing with God.

Now that the Law has been fulfilled in Christ, we are no longer required to try to live by the ten commandments, nor the rules and regulations of the Old Covenant. So often we seem to forget that because of grace we now live by faith in Christ. We are no longer slaves to sin, we are no longer just a poor sinner saved by grace, although we were sinners and we are restored by grace. We are now the righteousness of God through Christ. God no longer calls us slaves, but He calls us sons and daughters. We are seated in heavenly places in Christ. This is not to say that we should go out and do whatever we want, right or wrong. We do have freedom in Christ to do what we choose, but of course there are consequences if we choose things that God has warned us to stay away from.

Today we choose to live a life pleasing to God because of love. Godly love is the fulfillment of the Law. We love God, we have been made righteous through Christ and we are the temple of the Holy Spirit, who guides us, teaches us, and gives us strength. We do what is pleasing to God because we choose to do so out of love for God, not out of obligation or because we are trying to fulfill a set of rules and Old Testament laws that we could not live up to anyway.

We are to rejoice in the freedom with have in Christ and share the love of God with everyone we meet. There are no more laws or commandments we are required to follow, we are to love God and love one another.

We who believe there is a God, want to do what is pleasing to God. Yet, the correct way to be pleasing is not always what we think. Jesus did not come to start a religion. He came to restore fellowship with God.

True Christianity is not a religion. Christianity is fellowship with God. I think it is more accurate to say we are followers of Jesus rather than say we are Christians.

The Church is not an organization, it is a living organism. It is not a denomination, it is not Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, Catholic, or any other man-made group based on a doctrine you are expected to believe and follow. The Church is all of us who have trusted in the grace of God provided by Jesus. We are all kings and priests and ministers of God. We are all equals and are holy and righteous in God’s sight because of Jesus​​.

There are many people involved in organized religion who truly love God and who are wanting to live in close fellowship with God. There are many pastors who truly feel called to preach and lead their congregation. The problem with modern day church is not the people who love God, it is the organized system itself that says you have to be involved and support the system to truly be a Christian.

For those who have left organized religion, many are looked down upon and called backsliders. They are said to have walked away from God and their faith, and because they do not attend church they are forsaking the assembling together. Truth is, fellowship was never required to happen in a certain place, at a certain time, on a certain day. Fellowship happens anywhere, anytime two or three gather in the name of God.

As followers of Christ, we should be loving and accepting of everyone we meet, whether in church, out of church, believer or non-believer. Many in the church today want to prove their view by arguing with those who have different interpretations, different doctrines, those who do not attend church and those who are not believers. They waste their time by making it an us versus them situation rather than being one in Christ and loving others.

Jesus told us under the New Covenant we are to love God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind and love others as we love ourselves. That does not mean we have to agree with everyone, but it is not our job to point out the sins and mistakes of others. We are not to condemn and convict. The Holy Spirit will work in each person’s life in his time and his way. We are to love. Jesus loved and associated with all kinds of people. Funny thing, it seems the ones with whom he had the most problem were the religious people, the ones who thought they were better than all those sinful, supposed second-class people that Jesus associated with.

​A lot of us Christians will argue that we are called to be separate and come out from among them, thinking that means we separate ourselves from the sinful people of the world. Jesus said he came for the sick, those who needed a physician. Being separate cannot mean we do not associate with people of the world. Jesus said we are in the world, but not of it. We do not need to separate ourselves into Christian churches, Christian schools, Christian clubs etc. We are to live daily in the world, rubbing shoulders with those who are not part of the religious crowd. We are to be Jesus’ hands and feet on earth today by showing everyone we meet the love of Christ, and not the condemnation of religion.​

We should love and accept everyone, male-female, black-white, rich-poor, Hindu-Muslim-Atheist-Christian, gay-straight. We are called to love and accept all people. We are to come out from the religious spirit that separates us from the ones that God loves. God wants to show unconditional love through us to everyone.

Again, loving and accepting people does not mean we agree with them, or approve of everything they do, but it is not our job to be the judge. Let the love of God flow out of you to everyone you see each day. Do not worry who they are, what they believe, or what they do, just love them with the love of Christ. Everything else is in God’s hands.

Do you find yourself questioning things more than you used too? I know I do.

As Christians, we have always been taught that we need to have the answers. Study to show thyself approved meant, you must have an answer for everything people come up with so you can prove your beliefs are right.

I remember having questions in the past, but I basically blew them off and buried them, thinking I was wrong to even think such things. As time went on, the questions kept popping up and I began to realize that questioning was not wrong.

I believe God accepts us, questions and all. I am hoping that one day I will have more answers, mostly for my own sake and not necessarily to defend my beliefs, but I also believe there will always be more questions than answers.

I think the modern-day church and religion in general do not like questions, at least not hard questions. Especially questions that make us wonder about the basic beliefs they teach. They like to have all the answers, and answers that fit into their particular belief and doctrine.

In his book ‘Dying to Religion and Empire: Giving up Our Religious Rites and Legal Rights’, Jeremy Myers makes a statement that is oh so true: “And as is the nature with questions, asking hard questions rarely leads to answers, but only to more questions”

I think God is much bigger than what the church makes of God. They try to fit everything into a box and do not like people asking questions that require out-of-the-box thinking.

It seems to me the Spirit within, the Spirit of truth, brings up questions that the religious system taught us and we always just accepted. Now, rather than suppressing these questions, I have allowed them to surface and truly seek God for guidance.

A few years back, Mick Mooney posted an article on Facebook, part of which says: “But who has the faith to ask questions with the intention of seeking the answers to them? Who can let their foundation be not a doctrine or dogma that must be defended, but Christ himself who needs no defense? For it is those who have their foundation solely upon Christ, who can walk in their faith without fear of questions, but rather they walk in their faith knowing that God is lighting their path with questions, and it is these very questions that are paving the path that the Spirit of God is guiding them upon”.

If you are feeling guilty for having questions, I have found it best to stop feeling that way and keep asking the questions. That is the best way to continue growing and learning in our walk with God. Even when we do not get answers quickly, we should continue to be asking and seeking the truth from the Spirit that is within us.

I do—almost every day—if we’re defining it correctly. I just don’t use the church bulletin version.

Because salvation isn’t a single prayer—or a spiritual get-out-of-hell coupon.

The prayer we often call ‘the sinner’s prayer’ was never meant to be the finish line. It was meant to mark the beginning of a life turned toward Jesus.

We use the term ‘born again’—but rebirth should show up in life, not just words.

Even Jesus warned that not everyone who says the right words—or calls Him “Lord” — is actually living in His way.

In other words:

You can say the prayer

and still refuse the Way of Jesus.

And that contradiction has become hard to miss in modern Christianity.

That’s why Jesus didn’t say,

“Repeat this after me.”

He said, “Follow me.”

In Scripture, salvation isn’t presented as an idea to believe—it’s a life to step into. Jesus didn’t talk about salvation as a one-time transaction.

When we actually follow Him:

• We let Jesus shape how we actually live

• Fear and self-interest stop setting the agenda

• We choose Jesus’ way—even when it confronts our politics, our habits, our traditions, or our religion

Following Jesus isn’t just agreeing with Him—saying a prayer or getting baptized—and then excusing ourselves from the way He told us to live.

It’s re-aligning our entire life around Him.

Yes—sin matters.

Not as a scoreboard against others,

but as proof we ourselves need endless grace, and have no business throwing stones.

We’re not saved by cleaning ourselves up. We’re saved by His grace—and that grace leads us to follow the Way of Jesus.

But real faith doesn’t stay theoretical.

His grace to us doesn’t just forgive—

it should form how we extend grace to others.

I’m sure I’ve given God a million reasons not to love me, but I have yet to change His mind. That’s love. That’s grace. And that’s how we are to extend love to others.

Jesus made it simple:

Love God with everything.

And love your neighbor the way Jesus has loved you.

Repentance isn’t religious groveling.

It’s turning around.

It’s choosing His way again—

and treating people with the same mercy you keep needing yourself.

That’s the difference between

saying you’re saved

and actually following Jesus.

One is a label.

The other is a life.

And that’s where salvation lives.

A heart transformed.

Toward God. Toward others.

That’s the difference between

“Well done, good and faithful servant”

and

“Depart from me. I never knew you.”

Both groups claim Jesus.

Only one actually follows.

People leave the church for multiple reasons. Some people feel rejected and left out. Sad to say, but it seems to me that many churches have their cliques and do not want new people being a part. That happened to us a few times while in the organization. That did not drive us away, but for many people that is why they leave.

Some people get hurt over something within the church and sadly, many things can happen that causes hurt feelings. It may be a legitimate thing or could be a misunderstanding, but it happens and people leave because of it. Often, if someone would notice and just talk about the issue, things would change. Sadly, many people in church just get overlooked.

Other people just get tired of the same thing week after week. The same format, the same songs, sermon and prayer. That was one of the things what we went through for a period of time.

People often leave because of the pastor or teaching of the church. We get to a point where we are questioning what is being taught and how it relates to what we read in the Bible. It can get to the point where we just cannot accept what is being taught and what we feel is right. That can be in regard to the acceptance of women preaching, the acceptance of those of the LGBTQ family, many social issues, political views, race and nationality issues. We read that Jesus said to love God and love one another, yet we often hear many hateful and discriminatory sermons coming from the pulpit.

I grew up in the Methodist church, starting from the first day my parents could take me to church after my birth. I was there about every time the doors were open. I was not a youth pastor or a pastor, but my family was active and well known within the 200-member congregation. For the first fifty years, church was my life. I thought that was the way to be close to God, and learn more about God. I felt church was where God showed up, and I felt the pastor was the mouthpiece of God. After all, the pastor was specifically called and went to college to learn about the Bible and God.

It took years, but for the last ten years we participated in the church service, we had that uneasy feeling that something was not right and it continued to grow. We could not figure it out, but we were very unsatisfied with the way organized church was. For the many years growing up in the church, it was a common feeling that questions were not allowed and doubt was a clear lack of faith. Due to that, we felt we could not express our concerns because they would be highly misunderstood.

Finally, my wife and I left the church system because we felt we were more in tune with God outside the system. That is not to say we are super faith people and better than those in the church, but we felt the freedom to follow the leading of the Spirit outside of church without the influence of pastors, doctrines and interpretations we no longer felt were right.

After spending the last eleven years outside the walls of religion and not attending church, we feel a new sense of satisfaction, freedom and unconditional love we did not feel while attending church. Now, this is not for everyone. There are a lot of people who look forward to meeting with others and following a set service, and they love God just as much as those of us who are no longer attending church. Yet, we feel the freedom to ask questions and wonder about our doubts, we are free to associate with any person we choose, whether they are Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, Taoist, Atheist, Black, While, Male, Female, Gay, Straight, American or any nationality. We no longer have the sense that we need to stay away from people who are different in their beliefs and spiritual ideas. We can follow Jesus without the doctrines, denominational rules and ideas, and love God and love all people just as they are. We no longer feel dependent on a pastor, but look within for the still, small voice and leading of the Holy Spirit. We believe we are the temple of the Holy Spirit and God lives within us, not in a building. We are finding that rather than looking to pastors, church organizations and religious doctrines, we can look within and follow the leading of the Spirit to be pleasing to God just as much as those who still attend church.

Sadly, many people within the church think that leaving the church means we are leaving God. They cannot understand how we can be Christians and not attend church. Some show concern and try to reason with us as to why we need the church. Others get mad and cut us off as if we no longer exist. Just remember, if you are dissatisfied and thinking about leaving church, there is nothing wrong with that. God lives within us, not in the building nor within an organization. Never feel guilty for walking out of the building, but also never condemn anyone for staying within the system. God can be found within the building, but God is not confined to the building. God is not confined to a church, denomination, religion or nationality. God loves the world and is available to all.

We each have to follow the leading of the Spirit and decide for ourselves what is best for us. We need to let each person do that and accept them just as they are. Whether in a building or out of the building, our purpose is to love God, love one another and share that love with all we meet.

It seems that so often we who are Christians get the idea that we are not supposed to associate with people who are not believers. We want to isolate ourselves and separate ourselves from those who see things differently.

At one time I felt the same way. It seemed the institutional church wanted it that way. At that point in time, I wanted to be in church every time the doors were open and I wanted to work for a Christian book store. By doing so, I would constantly be around only Christian people. Boy how my views have changed.

Having been in the church world for many years, I have noticed that a lot of Christian people seem to feel differently about those of a different race, those who are of the LGBTQ family, Atheists, Muslims, Hindu and even other Christian denominations. It felt like whatever denomination or church family we were part of was the only one that was right. I do not want to stereotype anyone, but it seems that many within the church system feel this way.

Fortunately, I have had a change of mind and have come to find that separating ourselves is not what God intended for us. While in the church system, I felt I needed to avoid certain groups of people, but outside the walls of religion I have come to associate with, accept and love people of all walks of life and all religions.

Jesus said he did not want to take his disciples out of the world, yet he said to come out and be separate. What was he talking about? Could he have meant that we were to come out of the religious system and live in this world by the power of the Spirit? Jesus said that we are the Temple of the Holy Spirit, and the Kingdom of God is within us. If we are following the Spirit of Christ, we no longer need the religious system, a building or a pastor since the Holy Spirit is our teacher and our guide.

We know we are not to separate ourselves from those living in the world, yet we can separate ourselves from the religious system that seems to want to isolate us from those who believe differently. We can share the love of God with all people and allow the Spirit to guide us and teach us.

Jesus did not separate himself from those who thought differently. Rather than being isolated from those who think, believe and act differently than our way of thinking, I feel we should associate with those who think differently and show the love of God to them, yet without the ulterior motive of trying to convert them to our way of thinking.

It is just as in our personal families, there are those who have different views, different beliefs and different lifestyles yet we love them. We are to be the same with those we meet in this world. We can have our different views, beliefs and lifestyles, yet we respect and love them anyway.

Jesus said to love God and love others. He never said we have to agree and be the same. He never said to treat those who are different from us with any less love and acceptance. Rather than separate ourselves and make it look like we think we are better than everyone else, we should allow the Spirit to live through us showing the love of God to everyone.

Not everyone is going to believe like we do or accept our way of thinking. Jesus never said to only associate with like-minded people. We are to love God and love others, showing them that God loves them just as much. Whether we believe the same or not we are all humans created and loved by God. We are to share the love we have for God with all people and with one another remembering that Jesus said, “by this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another”.

When we think about Jesus we usually think of Christianity, although the two are completely different. Christianity means a religion that is based on God and the writings of the Bible.

Jesus did not come to start Christianity. Jesus was not a Christian. We are missing the whole point when we focus on religion rather than the real reason Jesus came to live among us. He came to show us what God is really like, that God is love and God loves each and every one of us. It makes no difference if we follow any religion when we do what Jesus said, love God and love one another.

According to Wikipedia it is stated that there are roughly 4,200 religions in the world. Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Christianity and every other religion in a sense are all actually related. They are all human based ways of trying to please God, or the gods they believe in and serve.

In regard to Christian denominations, World Christian Encyclopedia says that Christianity as a whole consists of 6 major ecclesiastical-cultural blocs, divided into 300 major ecclesiastical traditions, composed of over 33,000 distinct denominations in 238 countries. It certainly cannot be stated that people are not interested in some type of higher power.

The sad part is that we want to argue over which religion is right or wrong. We constantly fight over whose interpretations are right, and most often we do not want to associate with those who do not see things our way.

Needless to say, we all have our interpretations, thoughts and ideas, but those just make us unique individuals. They were not intended to cause separations and divisions among us. We should be able to be ourselves and yet love and accept those who see things differently.

If we could get past the religious part of our beliefs and live in the freedom God provided, we would be much better at living in harmony with others. Rather than defend our denominational interpretations and our personal ideas, we should love and accept others with the love of Christ. By doing so, we could listen and understand their views so that we could be more accepting of them even in the differences we have.

Often, rather than love and accept one another, we are normally busy pointing out the mistakes of others and condemning those who we consider different. When we do so, the love Jesus told us to show to everyone seems to get missed. I personally do not think it is our job to convict people of their sins. We are to be ready to give an account of the hope that is within us IF we are asked, but it is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict and draw people to God. We are told to love God and love others.

When we focus on the gospels and the life of Jesus, we realize that he did not condemn people for their sins, but was concerned for them and asked that they leave their sins behind and follow him. He only had an issue with the religious leaders who thought they were better than everyone. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees because of their hypocrisy, focusing on external religious rituals, for being self-righteous and misleading people by putting heavy burdens on others while failing to follow God’s true heart for love.

When it comes to saying I am a Christian, I am hesitant anymore because of the meaning it has to many people. If being a Christian means being part of a religious organization, trying to follow the law and being discriminatory, exclusive and condemning toward others, I am done with that way of living. In that sense, Christianity is not the answer nor is any other man-made religion. If being a Christian means someone who wants to follow the example of Jesus by loving God loving one another, then I am all in.

Jesus is not into religion. Jesus came to show the love of God to every human being no matter who they are or what they believe. Jesus crosses the barriers of religion and loves everyone. In the world today, we are the Jesus that people see. We should be ready to show the love and acceptance that God showed us to everyone we meet.

Most of us have heard or read the Bible verse found in Hebrews 10:25 which reads, ‘not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the day approaching’. This verse gets quoted a lot when it comes to church attendance.

Once someone hears that my wife and I stopped attending an organized service each week, the first thing we usually hear is this verse quoted.

Truth of the matter is, I do not think this verse is even talking about what we call church.

As I have stated many times, church is not a building or a place. Church is the people of God, those of us born into His kingdom by grace. Church is not an organization; it is an organism. Church is not a one-day event, it is a daily lifestyle of people loving God and loving others.

When reading the verses preceding Hebrews 10:25, you find it is talking about grace and how we are now granted permission to enter into the Holy place, not a building, but the very presence of God. This happened when Jesus died and the veil was torn from top to bottom. No one is to forsake the people of God from coming into the presence of God at any time.

To me, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together is saying that we need our brothers and sisters in Christ for encouragement and to stimulate one another to love and good deeds. It has nothing to do with an organized religious service in a building. It has everything to do with loving, communicating and encouraging other Christians as a daily norm.

When you think of countries where Christianity is against the law and churches are closed down, do we think the Christian people are wrong for not attending an organized service every week? They get together in small groups in houses or wherever they feel they can meet safely. It may not be more than two or three people.

Jesus said where two or three gather together in my name, there I am in their midst. We do not need buildings or large groups of people to fulfill this verse about assembling. We do need each other, no matter if it is meeting at home, meeting for dinner at a restaurant, an online group or getting together in a park. The important thing is to love God and love one another and be available to our brothers and sisters in Christ to encourage and build them up.

Let me make clear, I am not against church or those who attend. My wife and I were part of the weekly service for years, but over the past few years, we have found that for us, it makes more sense to be outside the walls of religion and seek meaningful fellowship each day with our brothers and sisters in Christ rather than to continue sitting in a pew listening to a select few participate. We believe in the priesthood of all believers, and that it is a daily lifestyle, not a weekly event. Every one of us are equally important parts of the body and we are to be ready each day to support, encourage and love our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Have you ever felt guilty because you did not say something to someone about Jesus? Do you feel obligated to speak your mind about a particular sin? Do you feel it is your duty as a Christian to force every opportunity into a chance to tell someone about salvation?

Quite frankly, I disagree with all of the above. I agree that some people have the gift of evangelism and should be using that gift to the fullest when done out of love and under the guidance of the Spirit. I also feel that not all of us need to be forcing the issue with those we come in contact each day.

As Christians, we are told to love God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind, and love others as ourselves. When we live our lives each day under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the love of God, the way we act will be a witness to God’s love.

Anyone can speak words…words of condemnation, words of how we should live for God, words against particular sins, but words themselves have no strength. It is the daily life we live allowing the love of God to show through that makes a difference. When we consistently live what we believe and say, it has more impact than thousands of words.

We need to remember that it is the Holy Spirit that convicts and draws people to God. It is not our job to be condemning people and trying to prove to them that they are sinning against God.

In the Bible we are told that we should live a quiet life, working with our hands and be ready to give an account of the hope that is within us.

Notice we are told to be ready to speak up when asked. Go about your daily routine, minding your business, living a peaceful life, but be ready at all times to give an answer about God’s love when someone asks. Only when the Holy Spirit is leading the opportunity and the words, will it make an impact on the person anyway.

By living this lifestyle, and not forcing our views on others, the words we say will have more meaning to those who are wondering what the hope is that we have within us.

When we talk about Christianity, we can mean a couple different things. It depends on what meaning we are using as to how I feel about it.

If, when talking about being a Christian, we mean we are following Christ, acting like Christ and living like Christ, I am all in for being a Christian.

Usually these days when being a Christian is mentioned, it is more about the religion of Christianity. Just like Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Confucianism, Baha’i, Shinto, Taoism and a host of others, Christianity is a religion made up by men, and it is divided up into many various denominations. Contrary to popular belief, Jesus did not start the Christian religion.

Here in the United States we are so proud to say that America is a Christian nation. Unfortunately, I have to disagree with that idea. America is a country made up of many religions and beliefs. Fortunately in this country we are not forced to be a part of any religion or belief. We have many freedoms that are not found in other places, and I am thankful for that fact. We are free to choose what we want to believe, who we want to follow and we have the right to express that without fear of punishment. Yet, we cannot use that right to force our beliefs on others.

Following Jesus is not about a religion. I actually think it is better sometimes not to even use the word Christian because of all the religious thoughts and ideas it brings up. Religion is a man-made, organized system that divides more than anything. We separate into groups that meet in buildings on set days and at set times, saying we welcome anyone, yet only want those who feel the same way we do in beliefs and interpretations.

It bothers me to see so many who profess to be Christians, those who believe in God and Jesus and spreading His love to others, argue and fight with those who think differently. We are supposed to be known for our love for others and love for our brothers and sisters in Christ. Still, it seems a lot of Christians are more interested in defending their personal views and thoughts, getting mad and arguing amongst themselves while those outside of faith in Christ are looking at them and wondering why they need to have Jesus in their lives.

Now, talking about Christianity in the sense that we are following Jesus, living like Him and treating others like he treated people, this is an entirely different thing. As mentioned in Acts 11:26, the disciples were first called Christians by the people of Antioch, because they saw the disciples acting so much like Christ. To me, this is the true meaning of being a Christian.

True Christianity is a community of people who act like Jesus and let him love through them. It is a daily lifestyle and is not separated into normal living and religious living. It is not specifically following set doctrines, or following rules of do’s and don’ts. It is not meeting in a building once a week listening to one person talk, singing a few songs, shaking hands and going home. It is not a system of leaders who are on a higher level than others. It is daily life, following the leading of the Spirit, meeting with those we come in contact with along our daily routine, showing Christ’s love, eating together, laughing and crying together, accepting one another, talking and discussing our thoughts and views. Those who have gifts of leadership are to lead by example, lead as equals, and lead by a servant spirit to encourage and build up their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

As followers of Jesus, we are to love others, accept others, and treat others with compassion, respect and love. We do not have to agree with everyone, just accept them. We can agree to disagree and love people just as they are. Everyone does not have to be just like us and they do not have to believe like us. People should be able to be themselves and we as followers of Jesus should be OK with it. There should be no condemnation or exclusion among the followers of Jesus.

It’s time to stop being a Christian in the sense of religion, and focus on Jesus and let Him live through us. After all, we are the Temple of the Holy Spirit, we have the mind of Christ, God lives within us. There is no reason why we cannot love and accept others just like Jesus loves and accepts everyone.

It isn’t easy leaving the institutional church when you are still into God and church has been a part of your life for years. Leaving can be almost an impossible choice. Where else can you share your beliefs and love for God? Not all outside relationships share the same interests in God. If you voice differing opinions about God in the church building, you often face rejection or doubt from those who love the same Creator. You don’t want to be divisive, but you are sick of pretending.

I got tired of being told to “not major on the minor”

What the hell is so minor about believing a loving God tortures those who don’t believe in God while a short time here on earth? What is minor of denying women use of their gifts who clearly can preach and teach better than some men? Not my damn wife and daughters! It’s a big deal to condemn gays in God’s name though they have no choice who they are attracted too.

I got tired of being told to believe in the Bible or else

Sorry. I am not convinced all what the writers claims about God is true. It can’t be proven writers got God right or wrong. Interpretations are debatable though extremists never admit they could be wrong. But that’s not the point. One writer claims God supposedly ordered the murder of women, children, and infants in war (I Sam. 15:3). God supposedly approved a wife’s hand being cut off when grabbing another man’s genitals (Deut. 25:12). Not questioning if writers always portrayed God accurately has led to killing infidels in God’s name and justifying wars throughout history.

I got tired of a lot more things

I got tired of the lack of open dialogue. If I opened my mouth about disagreements about leadership’s views of what a loving God is like, I felt I was being divisive and pulling others down. I don’t mind disagreeing. That is my nature. But I am not looking to force my views on others.

I got tired of being preached to where I couldn’t ask questions directly to leadership. Church morning fellowship works for some. Not me. It didn’t deepen my relationship with God. I need more discussion with those whose opinions everyone else is buying into.

I didn’t mind being challenged to help the less fortunate, but I got tired of the majority of the budget going for salaries, facilities, and great children’ programs. It is my responsibility to guide my children in their relationship with God.

I got tired of having a hidden agenda with those outside the church. Sinners, believe or go to Hell!

Okay, I love not having obligations on Sunday and not having to dress up

Why shouldn’t I give up certain Sunday obligations when I am miserable? I rather cut the grass, play tennis, or whatever. I can try to find fellowship in others places. My relationship with God isn’t about an institution or day of the week. It’s a daily, hourly relationship.

The last straw!

At the last church I attended, which was a megachurch with respectable leadership, I begin helping with a group involving newcomers that had questions about God. Perfect for me! I am a pretty open-minded guy. I enjoyed having open discussions about God, but that wasn’t always comfortable for leadership. My co-leader believed exactly what church leadership did. I was treated nicely, but they didn’t think best I continue to help lead such groups. The truth was I was more qualified because of my readings and background leading groups than other leaders. But newcomers were attracted to the church because of the beliefs of the pastor and church leadership. I don’t feel called to create dissension for those seeking to have a relationship with their Creator, often for the first time.

So many followers of Christ today live like they are under the Old Covenant.

We have been brought up in the religious system that seems more like a corporation rather than a community where the priesthood of all believers should be the norm. The church has a pastor, elders and deacons just like a corporation has a CEO, board of directors and operating committee.

We still have the mind-set that we are living in the old way of doing things. A lot of us still think the church is a building we gather in and listen to a chosen few tell us what God is saying.

We tell each other to have a good Lord’s day, thinking Sunday is the chosen day that is set aside to rest and worship God.

We look to the Bible like it is part of the trinity and we worship it and use it for all kinds of rule keeping, judging and condemning others.

We tithe ten percent to the church, thinking God requires it from us and if we do not give the tithe we are robbing God.

Jesus fulfilled the Old Covenant and brought it to an end. He made a New Covenant with his creation, which we are now living in, which is a covenant of grace.

Jesus is building his Church, which is made up of people, not brick and mortar. It is a community of believers with Christ as the head, and each of us as equally participating members in a loving group of people. That may happen anywhere and anytime; in a building, in a house, in a park, a restaurant and so on. The fact is that Church is not an organized meeting in a set place at a set time, but it is a fellowship and relationship among fellow believers, no matter if there are only two or three.

Each and every day is the day the Lord has made. Every day is holy and for resting in the work God has already done. The idea that the seventh day is holy is just not true in the New Covenant.

The Bible was written by men over many years who were inspired by God to write, yet, it is still a book written by men. It is the Spirit that gives life and meaning to those words. If the Spirit is not enlightening us and teaching us, the words do not have life. Jesus is the living, all powerful, inerrant Word of God according to John 1:1.

Tithing was a law given to the Jews in the old covenant. It is no longer part of the new covenant. Giving out of love as the Spirit leads is the new way of doing things. God does not need our money, but giving to those who do, out of love, is a way that is pleasing to God and a help to others.

It is sad that men have continued to teach the Old Covenant way to believers today, although it is understandable. All of us alive today do not know anything different since this has been taught for hundreds of years. Not until the Spirit opens our eyes and leads us in truth do we see this new way of living by grace.

Seek God’s truth, ask the Spirit for guidance. Do not be condemning and argumentative towards fellow believers who see things differently, but be open to what God shows you. Do not be close-minded and continue to do things just because that is the way we have always done them.

The Spirit is within us and is our guide into all truth. Be open to hear the voice of the Spirit and follow in the way you are lead. Do not be condemning towards your brothers and sisters in Christ who follow a different path. It is the same spirit that leads us, and we are all called to love one another.