I really like street photography. Such a beautifully complicated art style. For many, they were introduced to the street through Henry Cartier-Bresson and Joel Meyerowitz; for me, it was a Youtube video from Jason Roman featuring where they just walked around a block. At the time, I was doing corporate and portrait work while moonlighting as the bag-carrying-bitch for a local sports photographer.

Street photography, however, gripped my attention. From there, I was introduced to Andre D. Wagner and a decision was made. No matter what the end result was, I wanted to do this. Not for commission. Not for a job. I just wanted to take these photos, and if I’m lucky, I can master it - maybe even make something of it.

Well, I sure as hell haven’t mastered it. How many times can I walk through cities and come up with nothing? One hour, two hour, three hours, four or more with nothing to show for it. In the Seattle rain or the San Antonio heat. Oakland and San Francisco to Santa Fe, New Mexico. With cameras from Ricoh, Fujifilm, Leica, Sony, OM System, Nikon and whatever else I can get my hands on it - there is no cheating street photography. When you have a good day, there will be three more behind it that make you question why you took the time.

Don’t you just love that?

My style of street photography has been shaped by the work of those I’ve come to appreciate and the friends that encourage me to continue attempting to befriend this passion. I never resonated with Cartier-Bresson, Meyerowitz and Vivian Maier. As someone who frequently was assigned documentary work, I saw the street through the lenses of “non-street photographers” who were simply capturing life. Ansel Adams’ portrait and editorial work are some of the world’s best kept secrets. Graciela Iturbide is truly one of the greatest photographers alive. Gordon Parks’ work needs to introduction and Steve McCurry’s images for National Geographic have taken me around the world.

Through this, I gravitated towards artists that I felt weren’t only taking pictures in communities to show their happenings, but those that participated in the communities or understood the culture of the community well enough to create a story with said happenings. I wanted all my work to reflect this. It wasn’t enough to capture the street. I wanted to understand it. Respect it. In turn, I wanted to honor the streets. I didn’t want to just take from, but give in return. This new feeling was why Andre D. Wagner’s work resonated so deeply with me. Whether that meant spending time in the area talking to people, spending my money or learning about the history of an area, I wanted to do the work to make sure I wasn’t just a tourist but an intentional participant.

It is hard at times. There have been many images that I love but I know it would be wrong to display in gallery or profit from. The world doesn’t need me telling them about the homelessness, they’re aware of it and actively ignore it. I don’t need to share someone’s worst moment to create my best. I don’t need to share images of a Pueblo I know nothing of and share no blood with for an aesthetic victory. I don’t need to embellish or fabricate a thought of what is happening beyond what I’m photographing. My being here is not needed, therefore, I remind myself I am not owed any images. Most importantly, I am not owed creative freedom to project a stereotype.

I have been blessed, truly, to have crossed paths with a few contemporary photographers that inspire me with their work, dedication and their honesty in their street photography.

Jason Roman played a large part in the way I saw the camera as a tool, and later, gave me some of the best insight in regard to how brands use photographers without supporting said photographer. is one of my closest friends and his portfolio continues to inspire me just as frequently as his messages do in the Three Amigops group chat. I’ve sat with Brandon Ruffin and Tarence Sang on a panel about ethical street photography and their work is only outmatched by their passion for the people of Oakland. My favorite project of recent review was created by (Dorrian Hawkins) who’s East Cleveland work sparked a new desire for me to go out and tell stories.

There are many other artists I am sure I’m forgetting - but most of my inspirations do come from the contemporary artists. I see myself in people going through what I am. I’ve never lived in New York in the 80’s. Or France in the 50’s or whatever HCB did. However, I do know what it is like to be alone in a new city with nothing but a camera to keep you company in the 2010’s. I know what it is like to navigate finances, passion, marriage and try to be great at all of them in my 20’s and 30’s in a disappointing world. I definitely know what it feels like rush home to a laptop or to chemicals to process an image you know will make your legacy, that turns out to be nothing more than bad composition and missed focus.

Their passion, and yours, motivates me. I love seeing beautiful photos and especially those that tell a story I can understand as my own. Street photography is not just a fad or a flavor of the month - it is an immediate love letter to the world we navigate today.

As I have stated before, I have not mastered street photography. I don’t think something so alive can be mastered. I’ve documented bull riders in East Texas working for a project commissioned by the Cowboy Channel and PBR (the project was shut down due to a legal battle over the theft of bull semen). During that time I noticed that for every one time you ride a bull for eight seconds, there are fifteen others attempts that end with you being thrown off within the first three seconds.

Street photography is something of the same. You may ride the moments for eight seconds here and there, but that bull eventually wins. You keep getting up, though; the rush awakes something inside of you. When you learn to honor the history of a street and those it protects, you grow deeper in love with that ride. Always chasing those eight seconds even if you know the next day you won’t last three.

It is a necessary format, street photography is. While we can pretend we don’t need to document the world because everything has been documented (Tony Northrup’s words, not mine) those that don’t sit in a place of privilege know that not to be true. There are many victories and losses to be captured, full lives and lives lost to be documented, people and spirits to be gathered. Your community, no matter how big or small, deserves to be preserved by those living off it. The streets deserve to be cared for by those walking it. When you learn about a community, you are less likely to harm it. When you find the beauty in that street, you are less likely to forsake it.

Street photography is not for everyone, but it belongs to anyone. You don’t need a degree, a specific camera, a time slot or even cache to participate. It is up to you, your willingness to get close and a desire to be curious. Do not for one second let yourself believe that you are needed on any street you step foot onto. Many have walked her and if the photo isn’t yours, it will soon be anothers.

Protect the streets you walk by learning about them. Learn the history of those who walked before you on those same roads and the people currently occupying. The deeper understanding only helps you build the context you need to appreciate your images and their subjects more. Street photography is not about capturing faces and stealing moments because you can, but about catching the expressions and intimacies of life throughout our world. It is a heavy honor and you should treat it as such.

The world is simple and beautiful because of that simplicity. Don’t muck it up with pretentiousness and a desire to separate what could be done by a beginner with a pat on the ass and a map into tiers. You don’t own the streets and the streets don’t owe you anything. Continue to make. Continue to take care. Continue to welcome and be welcomed.

You will fail along the way. Don’t you love that?

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Most of the everyday carry advice that is told online is complete and total bullshit. Especially in the artist space. The thin line between doomsday prepping and having what you need has been kicked, stepped on, redrawn and sponsored by Amazon. An obsession that can turn a simple joy such as drawing, photography, knitting or reading into credit card debt and a drawer or catch-all of unused toys that gather dust and regret.

The everyday carry was once a term used to describe the items you carried with you daily that were a functional, necessary and pleasing part of your day. The things you actually used. Do you take photos? Then you probably included a camera. Did you commute? Then you probably had a bag of some sort, maybe a book or an iPod to pass the time. Things that made sense.

Now, the everyday carry is a term that can describe the five things you use daily and the twelve things you purchased that are used once every fortnight; but you appreciated the instant dopamine hit from the unpacking of a new product.

Do you take photos? Then you need a second lens, hopefully a zoom, in case you need to record cinematic footage on the C-Line - but you won’t. Do you commute? Well, you need your Kindle Paperwhite, a physical book, a second set of Faber-Castell 9000 pencils (in case your first set combusts), a knitting project and of course a new bag to fit all this in - but you don’t.

We just buy shit to buy shit. It produces anxiety from having to decide what to take and the guilt of not using what you’ve bought. The weight of our “essentials” both financially and physically takes a toll on our bodies (look into how heavy backpacks and sling bags have changed posture). It gets in the way of just creating, indulging or appreciating. Consumption allowed greed to masquerade as preparedness and it has come for us all.

It was the damn phones.

I am going to sound like an old-head for a minute but honestly, I think we all know this take has legs. Social media is really bad for us mentally; so bad that Meta, the owners of Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp and others I’m sure, were just ordered to pay $17.1B due to manipulating the algorithm to purposefully get children and teens (who are now probably adults) addicted to social media. Vendors knew this and used it to their advantage by purchasing ad space to make sure that the algorithm pushed their product to your face. Now, your PayPal Credit account is maxed out on orders from B&H Photo and KEH.

The best thing that ever happened to me was when I said that I would, “Knock the Party City beard off of…”, a certain Texas Senator’s ass if he talked to me the way Trump talked to him - Meta quickly banned me from using their applications. The first two days felt weird and I was worried I would be forgotten by the masses - but then I realized that I didn’t really need social media to promote myself or my art. After that, the other realizations rolled in. I realized I wasn’t on my phone as much. I wasn’t stressed as much. I wasn’t bored as easily. I started reading more. I started buying less. The vibes were excellent and it was all by accident.

Since then, I’ve noticed that my urge to consolidate the objects in my life has grown. I don’t purchase things to purchase now without knowing what I am getting rid of. In that time, I’ve started to see through the flaws in the everyday carry mindset. I realized that the less short form content I saw, the less I wanted to buy things. Watching a long form video or even reading a review, helped my mind decide in real time if something was actually for me.

Then one day I woke up, looked at my wife and said, “I don’t think I’m using half of this shit.”

The minimalism trap.

There is this weird idea that if you choose to not over-consume, if you choose to declutter, if you choose to only need and not have, that you must be practicing a minimalistic lifestyle. I had this same idea in my head as well. That by only having what I actually use, for the situations I know I will need them in, I am somehow a minimalist.

That’s just life. You can indulge in cool toys, like a camera, and not go to the outer-edge of indulgence. You don’t have to buy every camera strap, every CPL filter, every CINEMATIC tool that will take your videos to the next level. We have incorrectly assigned a term to being a regular human. The concept that if you aren’t buying things that do not benefit your photography and videography, then you must be practicing a meager, humble lifestyle is so ass-backwards.

“Hey man, you have to try this ShortStache Everyday Filter by Polar Pro! It takes the two filters you already owned, and combined them into one for only $100 more!”

“Howdy you, I see you just purchased a lightweight, portable Fujifilm X100VI that you constantly keep on a strap or in a bag - have you considered buying this $70 Tilta vintage camera cage that adds on so much bulk and metal to your light, portable camera?”

“Hello ma’am, nifty camera bag you have there. It isn’t weather-sealed, however; you should purchase this new, weather-proofed $200 Clever Supply Co sling! It is perfect for this rough, West Texas tropical climate!”

Saying no to this isn’t minimalism, but not needing to create a solution for a problem that isn’t there.

The Three Qs, Two Truths and One Lie

When it comes to everyday carry, and purchasing in general, I ask myself three questions when I am determining my everyday carry and additions to it:

1. Did something break and I need to replace it?

2. Did I need this or even know it existed before I watched a video on it?

3. Will this comfortably fit my current EDC bag?

If the answer is no to any of these, I just move along. Most of the time there is a no given. Has this always stopped me from buying things? Not at all. But has it stopped me from buying some of the dumbest shit online? Yes, it has.

To this, I remind myself of these two truths when it comes to everyday carry:

1. If I really needed it, I would not debate having it.

2. It probably won’t make my photos better.

A need isn’t debated. You need water. You need food. Your digital camera needs (unless you have internal storage) an SD card. Your film camera needs film. Your Kobo needs a charger. You need yarn to crochet. You need a sketch pad to sketch. You need a bag to carry things if you can’t carry them in your hands.

Your hobbies and treats don’t need help bringing you joy. Bringing a second lens won’t help you take better photos if you don’t have the time to change lenses on your 15 minute walk. If you want to take multiple lenses and make the time to use them all, then make the time and purposefully take multiple lenses at that time. That isn’t an everyday event, though, and that isn’t an everyday carry.

Finally, I want to bring up one lie I want everyone to be aware of when it comes to everyday carry:

1. The phrase, “This is the best…”.

When someone tells you something is the best, just know it isn’t true. There is no metric for finding the best anything of anything. A tool in ones hand is a paperweight in the next. You get the point.

Downsizing your EDC to only what you carry, everyday.

Quick disclaimers before we begin this next portion:

• If you can’t sell it, donate it.

• Having things isn’t bad, not using them because you have too much is dumb.

I downsized not only my EDC but majority of my camera kit. While it took some time, I eventually just bit the bullet by writing in a notebook what I took with me everyday for two weeks.

I found out these truths about my own usage:

• I almost always listened to music when I walked and my ears were too warm in over-ear headphones.

• When I did read, I preferred a Kobo to a physical book while on the ferry, subway or bus.

• I used two bags happily, and forced myself to use others because I was trying to justify owning them.

• I took one knife, in one sheath because the others were too big and I never used my multitool but once during the week to open one beer after work.

• I never used my portable battery.

• I preferred a flip up notepad instead of a notebook.

• I never took my full-frame digital and I hardly took my film camera because of the weight.

• I hated carrying a water bottle.

• I didn’t ever use the foldable rain jacket or tote bag.

• I didn’t need a fidget because I had a plastic pen.

From there, I had to be honest with myself. I carried so many things to be prepared for all things and none of those things happened. If they do, I should just charge it to the game.

I previously would carry a backpack with a full-frame camera, an extra lens, a folded jacket, a large notebook, a portable battery, a water bottle, a foldable bag, a fidget, a multitool, my over-ear headphones and my wired earbuds. Not to mention the blowers and clothes, Zeiss wipes and extra cards for my camera.

Now, I only have two bags (down from seven) and the lunch I pack determines which one I use. I pack an eReader, earbuds, a small camera body, a small notepad with a plastic pen and I have a knife on my belt. That’s it. Somedays, I wish I had something extra but that fades quickly.

I sold a lot of my gear and at a cost that would guarantee they sold. What I couldn’t get rid of, I sent to friends and donated to photography programs. Lights, bags, backdrops, film and the estate sale camera finds that warmed my heart. I haven’t missed any of it and I haven’t had to turn around and rebuy any of it. What was left over from that purge went to Goodwill.

This isn’t minimalism. This is just not hoarding this wealth of goods and realizing that giving someone else an opportunity to use something that I am allowing to collect dust is a great way for me to conclude my investment.

Final thoughts.

The everyday carry movement is not a challenge to see who can carry the most or be the most prepared for a natural disaster in which only a 24-70mm lens can save you. It was meant to highlight and show appreciation to the items that truly bring you joy and that truly add to your life everyday.

Being prepared is not bad. You should plan and be sure that you can execute a plan when necessary. Consuming things you don’t need with the justification afterwards that there is a what-if scenario where you may need what you purchased is bad. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but it builds a bad habit.

We are at all times hit with multiple options from what we watch, eat, wear and listen in on. With so many options, it is relieving to have one part of my life with so few options. The stress of having to choose is eliminated for the most part when I don’t have to justify an option since it isn’t there.

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What is needed to be great? Is it skill or will? A mix of both maybe? Can anyone be great? Is the only thing you need to be great, the desire to be great? Is there a window for your greatness - a prime? I’ve discussed this with many people over the years and have had many disagreements, too.

I have one belief when it comes to greatness: Why would you want to rush it?

One day, I stumbled upon a motivational quote posted by a family member that really put this into perspective and changed my mindset on greatness in photography specifically.

G.K. Neilson once said, “Successful people are not gifted; they just work had, then succeed on purpose.”

What a f**king loser.

Successful people are not gifted? I’ve seen Dillon Gabriel and I’ve seen Lamar Jackson. You’re telling me if Dillon worked his hardest and was successful on purpose (opposed to failing on purpose), he would have the same career outlook?

The only thing separating A’ja Wilson (the GOAT) or Olivia Miles and my uncoordinated sisters is that they didn’t work hard enough? Can you repeatedly succeed accidentally? Do people consistently fail on purpose? What the hell does this even mean?

As much as I hate this quote, it did help me understand exactly why I wasn’t seeing eye-to-eye with so many people. It’s because we’re being taught about hard work from the wrong people with the wrong perspective.

Incentivized mediocre motivation.

We have incentivized people who have done nothing great themselves, telling others that in order to be great like them, they have to do the things they never did. When you think of hustle culture and grind-set influencers, they kind of just pop up with no warning and get “famous”. Some have cool backgrounds and have accomplished things, but most just embellish and feed everyone bullshit that they aren’t about.

For men, you have the likes of Andrew Tate - you know him; the failed UFC fighter who has twice now been arrested for child trafficking and sexual assault. The guy that young men made the template for how they treat women. Yeah, he’s a pedophile. We rewarded him. Not for showing proof of his greatness, but because he cosplayed as greatness.

There are many other examples (our president is a trust fund, nepotism baby who was legally found liable of rape, had to pay over $5M because of it and is in the Epstein pedophile documents) of people that we have incentivized to talk loud and give us absolutely nothing of value. Those that guilt us for enjoying the journey and growing at our own pace.

In photography, I’ve noticed this show itself in the idea that you always have to have a camera, always have to have a project, always need to be creating content and growing your brand. The idea that if this really mattered to you, you’d spend all your time taking photos. That you should churn out great works frequently and if you don’t, maybe you can’t be great.

So you push and push. You burn and burn. Your mental, emotional and physical capacity is taken up with this thought: if you were really working hard, you’d have all that you want right now. So you don’t give yourself time to grow and learn, or find out what you actually succeed at. You are chasing an idea that someone else has put into your head of greatness.

An idea from someone who isn’t even great themselves.

Sex, baseball, photography.

I personally believe a lot of us will miss out on making our best work because we’re trying to make our best work too fast. There is less passion in photography these days due to the idea that we have to be finished products so quickly. Photography should be full of passion - it’s an extension of you. It’s sharing not only who you are but also what you’ve become, the skills learned and the creativity that has bloomed. I don’t understand the desire to limit yourself to six-months or one-year to finish a project or create a work and then want that to be what you’re known for.

Photography and photography works usually take time. There is nothing wrong with that. We rush past the good parts of the journey. The measures of our growth or the joy of overcoming and mastering. Photography, and art in general, has never been a “what have you done for me lately” type of affair. Caring about your craft doesn’t mean you have to always have something quick and new to prove you care. You have to be gentle and take time with your art. The fact that some people want to rush a good thing scares me; are y’all fellas sure you’re taking care of your ladies? #bringbackforeplay

The best thing about photography is what I consider one of the best things about baseball: strikeouts happen, errors are made but it is the little battles and wins in every game that make it wonderful. In a game where you are paid millions to swing a bat, getting a base hit 1 out of every 3 attempts makes you elite. In a game where you are paid millions to get 27 outs per game, a pitcher who averages 7 or 8 strikeouts a game is seen as elite. That isn’t because we’ve lowered standards, but because we appreciate the skill and the work that is put in to get to that moment when batter faces pitcher.

You will never be 357 for 357 and bat 1.000 in photography or anywhere else in life. But just like in baseball, no one is looking for that in real life. Give me the guy or gal who is 119 for 357, batting .300, with 35 of those 119 hits being homeruns each year. Put a few years together like that and you could be seen as one of the all-time greats. In fact, if you hit 35 homeruns a year for fifteen years, you’d be sitting at 525 homeruns - which would still be 237 away from tying the all-time record. Like I said, it takes time.

That photography prime.

I don’t think your photography prime ends until you want it to - for as long as you’re physically able. I don’t think you have a time limit unless you put one on yourself. With that, I don’t think that the prime of photography life is wasted in youth.

I think of the great American philosopher Stavros Halkias - a comedian who has recently stepped into the spotlight for his podcast and standup tour. His recent success landed him a role in Bugonia alongside Emma Stone and Jesse Plemons. To many, this young, charismatic kid is an overnight success that the algorithm blessed with a couple viral videos at the right time. The reality, however, is Stavros is 37 years old and has been doing standup since he was 19. For almost 20 years he went to open mics, made content, wrote for others and just got by because he loved what he did.

If you don’t strike it rich in two years, will you still take photos? It’s something I think everyone should ask themselves. If you knew you wouldn’t end up in the Museum of Modern Art or be sponsored by a big brand, would you stop? If the answer is no, then why the rush?

If you are doing this for the love of the game, why do you need a project at all times? What’s wrong with letting yourself naturally discover what it is you find interest in? Why do you need to put restrictions and timelines on your creativity?

Why grow concerned about your views online if the end goal is your lifetime of work being appreciated and not just a square that is appreciated until a feed refreshes? Why must you be great by tomorrow? Why work harder if it isn’t on the right things? Why only work hard so others can see you work hard and not so you can achieve your goals?

You determine your prime. You determine when you want to shift into an extra gear. You determine when you want to look through your archive and start assembling pieces of yourself that speak to each other and create a cohesive story. Then you keep it going as long as you want it to do so.

I am in no way saying don’t work hard at what you want, or that working hard is lame. However, be careful with the pressure you put on yourself and who you allow to be in your head.

Your greatness awaits, so it’s okay to wait. Your prime is now, or whenever you want. Don’t overthink it.

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Photography is this quirky little hobby that very few make actual money from if they didn’t already come from money. We obsess over it. Plan for it. Purchase towards it. Hate it and love it. All for the chance to take one, magnificent and inspiring photo.

Then we move on from that photo because of the weird expectation we have to always create our best in every frame.

Kinda f*cked up, isn’t it? I’ve seen people move across the country because their city has nothing more to offer them. They move to an NYC or Miami to take photos of crowded streets, like the locals do, and of parades, like the locals do, and of architecture, like the locals do.

I’ve seen many of the same people grow frustrated that they aren’t having the same “results” as others they’ve seen make the same move had. They aren’t getting the same amount likes, or views, or awards, or brand deals, or clout (this is the one that hurt people the most) and they get discouraged, angry or both.

I am all for following your passions and taking a risk - but if your passion is only to repeat the greatness of others, believing you can fast track the blood, sweat and tears they’ve put in by copying them…

Do you appreciate you?

I bring this up a lot and I know it has frustrated many in the past but here I am again, with this crazy, hot take: Not everyone is going to end up in museums and galleries; not everyone is going to make a name for themselves.

If that is your only goal, you will most likely be wildly disappointed. So be yourself and take the photos you like. Take risks. Try new themes and styles. The only person you have to please is you. What happens to so many is that they try to please a them, that isn’t them.

They want to please a them that they’ve made up in their head that is shaking hands and the idea of names knowing their name instead of making art that they love. Who has time to wait to be great?

People tie themselves and their worth to all kinds of things - but the worst thing to tie the worth of your photos to is a you that isn’t here yet. It is okay to be you. It is okay to grow. It is okay to grind. It is okay to step away. It is okay to succeed. It is okay to take opportunities.

What is not okay is selling a fake version of yourself and expecting immediate results because of it.

Why would you want to succeed, and the only you that people acknowledge is a character you play because you didn’t believe the real you wasn’t good enough to be appreciated?

Is your portfolio you, or a brand you’ve labeled successful?

I’ve asked this question of a two people I’ve mentored this last year.

Is your portfolio filled with images you are proud of, or images that you believe will be liked the those you want to notice you?

It’s a sincere question we should all ask. This isn’t to hate on trends or styles in some pretentious manner; I just sincerely ask if you are proud of your work.

We’ve all added photos of events, moments and landscapes we aren’t the most happy with but they include a famous face, location or happening.

Hell, I even know of bigots who gladly show off their photos from PRIDE events, even though behind closed doors they support the Pedophile In Chief and the MAGA agenda.

What a cuck - secretly hating something you made on a personal level but introducing it to the masses because you believe the image will get you likes? Enjoy the chair.

But on a less drastic note, I know people that don’t enjoy street photography, who shoot street photography because it gets traction online. I’ve talked to people that don’t put their favorite images they’ve made because it would clash with what they’re trying to manifest. What is the point of photography, of art, if not self expression?

Being where you are supposed to be.

One thing I believe people need to hear, or read, is this:

It’s okay to be where you are at this very moment.

There’s a lot of pressure at the moment to find a way to make everything you do a financial success. With that, there is pressure now to be more than a regular person. So people chase stardom and fame. I get it.

But for every overnight success, there are 100 more successes that took their time with their work. People that committed to themselves. People that made a lot of mistakes and took a lot of bad photos.

But they weren’t ashamed of themselves. They embraced themselves. Their style. Their unique ideas. It’s okay to be inspired - it’s another thing to bend yourself into position to sit someone else’s mold.

So be you, and take a chance at failure. Or success. At least you’ll have photos you like to share with those you love.

As always, be safe and fuck ICE.

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Bring back bullying.

Let’s keep it a buck - nobody likes an intentional douchebag. I get that people have their moments and I have grace for most people who live in a world of delusion (e.g., Dallas Cowboys, New York Knicks, San Diego Padres or Arsenal fans); yet, there are people in this world who are intentionally douchebags because it makes them feel better about themselves. Yes, this is insecurity but insecurity doesn’t always breed douchebags. Insecurity can breed anxiety, reclusiveness and stillness but we tell those people to, “Just stop being anxious or go hangout with people…”, like that was something they never once thought about.

When insecurity breeds a douchebag we weirdly ignore it, let it slide and then try to correct it later (e.g., trust fund babies who inherited wealth and have failed upward like Elon {REDACTED} or his little bitch-boy, Donald J. {REDACTED}). The best way to deal with insecure douchebags isn’t to just let them be - it’s to get pissed and call their dumb shit dumb. It’s time to bring back bullying.

Photography douchebags.

Photography is full of douchebags both contemporary and legendary. We have so many stupid “rules” that were created by people who had a self-inflated ego and because they were born with a silver spoon or got drunk with clout, we bent the knee and took what they said as gospel. This group of people is a minority but it’s always wild how we ignore the loud screaming child throwing a tantrum until they become a loud screaming adult and then we say someone else should take care of that.

The photography douchebags are like wanna-be-dictators as they bitch and moan about how photography used to be great but then we let the amateurs in and now it is ruined because, “… everyone calls themselves a photographer…”. Meanwhile they don’t have any work to show and are so wrapped in being loud about everyone else’s business you forget to look at the fact that they’ve gone bankrupt seven times, were found guilty of sexually assaulting a woman and were friends/travel buddies with a child trafficker named Jeffrey Epstein (not to be confused with Donald J. {REDACTED} who has a similar story and happily greeted a current known child sex trafficker named Andrew Tate back into the US).

Photography douchebags are like a dead-beat dad who has the resources to actually be good at what he does but is so selfish, worthless and big of an asshole that he buys cameras and never uses them except for the random photo-op. Then he has the nerve to talk shit about people who want to post their photos of their own cameras; they do this while getting an ambassadorship by kissing the ass of and eventually paying into the pockets of that shitty company (not to be confused with Elon {REDACTED}, who is a dead-beat dad, only wants children to promote an Aryan dream, and will die alone).

The amount of stuff we have to deal with from the photography douchebag community is wild because it all centers around them wanting to keep photography as inaccessible as it can be. They are threatened by equality and equity in the photography game. For no other reason than they know when it comes to merit and earning accolades - they lack any standing and their intimidation of us who are truly friends of the craft only drives them to be bigger douchebags.

Why do photography douchebags bother me?

The answer to this question is simple: because I’m an ACTUAL photographer and their abuse of this art makes me sick to my stomach - if it doesn’t make you sick then you’re probably a douchebag, too.

We let people who are rude slide because we have been taught to think being a douchebag is funny now. We’re taught to think Vince Vaughn was super cool for playing the same man-child in every role he actually succeeded in. We’re taught to think prank videos in public are funny and then get MAD when people put their hands on the people doing those pranks. “It’s just a prank! People get so mad! Make humor legal again!”, is yelled from the crowd by the same people who throw a bitch fit because you have the word “photographer” in your bio but you never licked the imaginary taint of Henry Cartier Bresson.

The hypocrisy bothers me. Every photographer is a beginner at some point and should be given the chance to grow. Yet, when douchebags get nervous because you’re better than them they try to squash that. They come up with new ideas of what a real photographer is. They call everyone who is happy living their life and caring for others, “Instagram photographers,” and act like they took photos first (not to be confused with hypocrisy from many American Christians who say a man who cheated on multiple wives [which is an abomination to God], was found guilty of crimes [God hates a liar] and lying about them multiple times and of course sexually assaulting women while being friends with those who trafficked children [the Bible says to stone these men to is God’s chosen - this is not targeting the many American Christian who ignored where Jesus said to care for the sick & lame [healthcare], the old & widowed [social security], the children [funding schools, child cancer research and food programs], and to love each other [saying Nazis and genocide are bad] because they don’t follow God and will spend eternity in Hell according to their own teachings because if you call evil good - evil will never leave you).

Photography douchebags are always in everyone else’s business. They look down on so many of the things everyone else does because they think this venom they spit is protecting the sanctity of photography. Keeping it pure. “This artform was founded on these values”, type shit and so they promote infighting and division - all while we continue to ignore that they’re the actual problem.

If you want to make photography better and if you care for it - you won’t try to do all you can to keep people from enjoying it, having access to the tools needed to succeed or belittle, demonize and attack those that take different photos and love different brands than you.

How do you stand up to the photography douchebag?

Simple questions deserve simple actions: denounce, document and diss.

It isn’t enough to ignore it. We were taught to ignore things and they go away; we were taught that people wanted us to be docile. Bullies need to get their shit rocked, know why we’re rocking their shit and to document us rocking their shit so that the next time they get out of line we can say, “Remember when the French Photography Revolution happened in 1789…”, or something to that nature - I’m not being specific.

This goes for all douchebags. When they say something stupid - tell them that’s stupid and they’re insecure. When they do something stupid and hurtful - tell them they ain’t shit and tell others that what they did is wrong. When they act out and we get together to put them in their place - document and share that we aren’t putting up with this shit. What we have to deal with in the social media age of disinformation led by these douchebags is enough to make us go crazy. So go crazy. Stand outside the imaginary offices of these people and make some noise (similar to how the American people should be standing outside of the offices of the grifting, do-nothing traitors, to name a few, like: Chuck {REDACTED}, Nancy {REDACTED}, Mitch {REDACTED}, Ted {REDACTED}, John {REDACTED}, Supreme {REDACTED} Justices and the bad-built-butch-bodied-blonde-haired-serial-cheater) because the only thing a coward hates more than themselves is the public seeing how much others actually hate them as well.

Use that camera to document these moments. Share your work. Share who you are. Your community. Rub it in their face that you cannot be stopped. That you will continue to live and you will continue to enjoy photography regardless of the fear and hate they are trying to push in your direction. Your silence allows them to grow bolder.

How do I protect my community from photography douchebags?

The best way to protect your community from the photography douchebags is to communicate with them and to organize. Discuss the new pieces of misinformation that are being shared and how to combat them with both evidence and with sarcasm; I don’t have time to take the high road with a dumbass, douchebag-bootlicker and if you wanna live in fantasy land then allow me to roast your ass until that tongues to dry to taste leather.

Organize community gatherings and support each other’s art. Frequently show out to support. They’re trying to remove art and knowledge from the accessibility of the masses and they are afraid of you sharing it (similar to how some pastors want to sit behind the pulpit and tell you what the Bible says and call you a heathen if you look for yourself when they lie - I implore you to read the words in RED). Do not conform. Do not get quiet. Do not assume things will get better. The most dangerous lie we can tell is that being a victim of photography douchebags will never happen to us.

That thinking is whey we’re here right now. It’s why Tony Northrup can say that, “We don’t need street photography - everything that should be documented, has been documented.”

That douchebag statement can only be made by someone who is insecure of their own positioning in the craft. By someone who instead of learning of the history of a particular photography group, they would rather eliminate it and call it a bad thing. When you stand up to that by continuing to practice that craft and supporting those communities within street photography, you are standing up against the douchebag mentality.

Standing up against douchebags isn’t a passive thing. It isn’t a silent protest thing. It isn’t a post a photo in solidarity or liking a comment thing. It is an action thing. It is a using your voice to bat-that-shit-down thing. It’s a bullying the bully thing. It is a fighting to make better a world you will never reap the fruit of thing. It is the right thing to do.

Don't be on the wrong side of history. Don’t let this shit slide. This should piss you off. This should make you want to act.

*Note: My editor has told me this sounds political and I assure you that this is about douchebag photographers and not evil politicians and felons running our country who are worshipped by people who don’t read their own religious texts to understand they are promoting a false idol and that they aren’t the victim nor the hero of the story they’ve made in their head.*

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Share Notes on things.

Humans are a group of animals that thrive on community; the conversation and proximity to one another are a necessity. I know that doesn’t do well for a lot people as their recently created personas include the brooding, moody, isolated artist build that we’ve been told is so rare and unique. You set yourself aside from others so that you can focus on your work and yourself and sink into a hole and push yourself until you gas yourself out - with no real benefit other than being able to say, “I did it myself.”

If you’re lonely, bored or burnt out of photography - the healthiest way to get through is to get together.

Community is something that you need as a human but you should strive to create as an artist. Not always being that your work has created a buzz and conversation, but that you’re participating as just another figure. It’s important to not always think of yourself being the most important person in the room. It’s important to allow yourself to create relationships for relationship sake.

I’ve been lucky enough to put on a few photowalks over the last couple of years with . We’ve been to Austin, Houston, San Antonio, Oakland, San Francisco and New Orleans; worked with amazing groups and sponsors like Coffee + Cameras Club, Austin Photo Walkers, Digital Pro Lab, Bright Coffee, Houston Arts Alliance, Haciendo Coffee Roasters, Torani, Instax, Fellow and more. The main focus of each of these events was simple:

• Use photography and coffee as an avenue to create connections between the community and third spaces like locally owned coffee shops and libraries.

• Provide free coffee education access to professionals and hobbyists.

• Promote photography community, create judgement free connections for beginner photographers, and to teach ethical photography practices that don’t prey on plight and poverty porn.

This weekend I had the opportunity of participating in a photography community event hosted by The Darkroom Lab and Austin Photo Walkers, as well as attend a solo exhibit of the work of Matt Sanchez.

Both were amazing. The joy was visible, the conversation was loud and boisterous - but most of all, everyone felt welcomed.

We don’t need much but each other.

Have you ever felt lonely? Think on that. Have you ever been around company but just felt alone? They are both two horrible feelings. It brings on anxiety, sadness, worry and a bag of other words that describe the feeling of not having anyone. Our physical and emotional response to loneliness are many but the cure is single - others.

I think revisionist history and the pen have created such a wild world we live in where the lone wolf is seen as anything other than weak and ready to be overtaken. Wolves are a communal species. They rely on each other to hunt, to protect and to create. The way we’ve rewritten these truths to fit some insecure man’s justification for his unbearableness somewhere along the way is a total fail on society. We need each other and as artists we are better when we are able to work with, support and PROMOTE each other.

The most dangerous thing for an artist to isolate themselves not only physically but from thought and opinion of others. Not the unsolicited opinions of others about your own work - fuck that - but the ideas gathered from conversation with others. If you believe you know it all, you will eventually only know the all that you currently know. That pattern of thinking always puts photographers in such a foul mood. A lot times, it takes the joy out of what they’re doing. Photography becomes a job or a chore of protecting the little world they are used to ruling.

That’s why community events are so important. You get to share in the joy of someone shooting on film for the first time all over again. You get to learn from someone who knows more than you and talk about tips. You get to see, feel and operate gear you’ve never seen in person to create your own opinion on specific topics. You get to ask questions and hear answers. You get to help and be a resource. You get to be you and nerd out over a badass Contax RX and a 3D printed medium format camera.

Enjoying the creativity and enthusiasm of someone else can fill up that empty tank you’ve been running on for the last few months. As someone who is currently in a bored photography slump - I used this weekend as a chance to deal with my anxiety of meeting new people and with my ongoing loathing of everything I create. Seeing how many different types of people were able to gather and break bread over these little boxes that catch light was refreshing.

Don’t allow yourself to miss these moments.

Creating moments for you.

You don’t have to be at a huge, fantastic and star-studded photography event to enjoy the benefits that this weekend brought so many. You can do this with a fellow photographer, a friend who doesn’t know how to operate a camera, or a drifter if you’re brave enough. The point is, I know people will say, “Yeah, well, you live in a place like that and nothing comes here!”, and to that I would say, “Yeah, well, start with what you’ve got.”

I’ve taken photowalks everywhere I’ve lived. Whether it was with family or friends. I’ve lived in a town of 20,000 people, 80,000 people and 1,500,000 people. I’ve organized photowalks in areas with a combined population of 4.5 million and then hopped on a plane to organize one in a town of 17,000. I’ve had an event push almost 100 people participating and immediately followed it up with a walk that only had 5 people attend. All of which I loved.

This idea of togetherness doesn’t have to be a big numbers game - that’s just serving the ego. It can be one on one or it can be a small group of friends. Creating the moments are what matters most. If you have only one friend - then that’s enough. If you have to force your husband, that works, too. Two of my closest friends in the city are people who I took a random photowalk before I knew anything about them (Alex & John - thank you both for letting me yap your ear off on walks since then), and we’ve been taking mindless walks that capture meaningless photos ever since. But the conversations and proximity are the real highlight.

Together is supportive.

This is not a community over competition post - although I like that and agree that’s healthier than always trying to outdo someone else. This post is meant to put you on game. To give you some ideas on how to join and grow a community, if not make one yourself. The best tip I can give you is this: start today by supporting others even if it hurts your pride.

I had the privilege of supporting a talented artist this weekend named Matt Sanchez (@sancheezy) and his solo exhibit that was organized by a fellow named Paz. Paz (@milojos.foto) leads a collaborative art group in Austin, Texas that helps to showcase the work of local artists. I along with 50-60 others came to be entertained by the images and dances as part of the exhibit. Smiles were all around as questions were asked about the peculiar images and customs captured during Matt’s time in Spain. No smile were bigger than Matt & Paz’s.

Showing up for people matters and acknowledging hard work is the least we can do for each other. Matt put time into these images and the concept of the exhibition. Paz put time in to organize and facilitate the vision. Being there was the least I could do but it was also all that they asked.

We miss the mark when we only think that something isn’t worth being a part of because we don’t believe we need it. I didn’t need to attend the exhibition. I wanted to because someone I knew worked hard. Communities don’t just take when they need, they give when they can because when the time comes that energy will be returned in kind. Dismissiveness and apathy towards others are traits of someone who is struggling to find peace in themselves. The burnt out, lonely and bored sometimes just need a mission to get them going - so what better mission that to support the work of a fellow artist?

Regardless of how you do it - huge groups, a single friend, an old foe, a local artist’s exhibit or just supporting someone online - community can break you out of a funk, feeling of loneliness or something somewhere in between.

You just have to want the cure for it to work.

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Introduction.

Y’all be overthinking? I do. Constant. Therapist said it was from childhood trauma where I perceived my worth to be predicated on the approval of my family for a job well done. I personally blame the “Gifted” program in American schools. Why the hell was I missing class to make puzzles and learn French? Why did I feel like I had to do big things because of it? I graduated 270th out of 500 students. I digress.

This post is about how cool photography is and how the only real thing that can ruin your vibe is you listening to lame ass people and you listening to you, yourself. This photo stuff can connect you to the nicest people, introduce you to amazing opportunities and can be your getaway from the world.

Don’t let others, or yourself, take that away from you.

Photography is a Little Caesars’ Pizza.

I mean this line. It’s an absolute bar. Nothing but the truth. It’s as true as a Freddie Freeman line-drive to deep right-field with the bases loaded. If that last one didn’t make sense, this video will explain:

What I’m trying to say is that this line is true because, just like a delicious Little Caesars’ Hot-n-Ready Pizza, photography is so enjoyable as long as there isn’t a bitter, annoying motherf**ker in your ear telling you why it shouldn’t be.

Just like a mouthwatering Little Caesars’ Stuffed Crazy Crust Pizza, photography can be as amazing as anything in the world can be - but if you listen to the wrong voices constantly you’ll change your opinions and views to the loudest thing in between your ears. When you feed on voices that are critical, negative and uppity you will only view things through critical, negative and uppity.

When you idolize the “artist’s struggle” then you will be spiteful and bitter towards those that gain opportunities, compensation and notoriety for their photography. Then you’ll become angry that you haven’t received the same even though you’re “doing it right” in the eyes of those that are critical, negative and uppity.

You’ve got to not only block out the negativity directed at you but the negativity others direct toward others. To dismiss a critique of you with no backing only to assert a critique on someone else with no backing is weak. We have to do better.

It’s okay to enjoy photography. To not take yourself seriously; to be proud of your work and to respect the art without pretending you need to protect it. It’s okay to let others flourish. It’s ok to clap for someone else. It’s okay to be happy with where you are now. It’s okay for your journey to be at your own pace. It’s okay to just be okay at this. It’s okay to love a delicious Little Caesars’ Pizza because they’re really f**king good and a Michelin Star pizza is still just dough, sauce and toppings.

Don’t turn your mind off.

I’ve had many people tell me I just need to shut my brain off. Don’t be led by your emotions. Just don’t think about it.

Bitch.

What I have learned over the years is that when it comes to being hypercritical of myself, the one thing that doesn’t help is just ignoring the problem. I have to ask myself, “Why am I feeling this way and what is really at the bottom of it?” It’s the most annoying thing I do with my self talk because it makes me have to THINK about why I’m upset and then give an HONEST response to myself:

“Why are you upset about this dude and the way he’s presenting this product.”

”Honestly, I’m jealous that he’s being seen so much - I feel like my work isn’t going anywhere right now. My work must suck.”

“Do you really think that reviewing a Leica will make the your world better and open up opportunities?”

“Yes, I do do think; but, I also know that it isn’t true. I know my work can stand on its own. I know that I love what I’m creating. Also, I know how hard that guy has worked and it’s wrong of me to feel this way. Dude has put in time. It’s not my turn yet but I’ll be ready if it ever is.”

The above is a legitimate conversation I had with myself in 2023. I was frustrated with my work. I struck out with five competition submissions. Work in freelance was slowing down. Youtube was the main thing going for me. I was becoming bitter. Did I love my work? Yes. Did I believe it was great? Yes. Did I care what I thought of my work? No. I wanted affirmation and when I didn’t get the affirmation in a way that I wanted it - I got upset. When I got upset, I began to talk down on myself.

For the longest time I ignored those feelings. Just didn’t think about the fact that I wanted a pat on the back. When I ignored it I allowed myself to make an excuse for it. I ruined the vibes for myself. I had plenty of people telling me they liked my work. I was selling prints. I was in an exhibit in San Antonio. I was doing actual things - but the rejections were all I focused on.

When I decided not to turn my brain off and think on why I felt mad, or sad, or anxious, or like I wasn’t living up to a standard was when I began growing as a person and as a photographer. It’s okay to not feel your best always. It’s okay to want to strive for me. It’s okay to have negative feelings you have to address. Don’t let the negativity in your head go unchecked.

I keep reminding myself that it may not be my turn right now but it will be; when it is, I will be ready.

Hustle culture and how it is fucking lame.

It’s lame. I honestly believe that hustle culture was a government established movement meant to make people under 50 docile and easily manipulatable by the oligarchy of bitch-ass-busters in the White House & Congress today. There is no other explanation as to why after every hustle (and gym) culture icon we see inevitably getting outed for being broke and a liar - or trafficking children (eg., Tate) - that another just takes their place and everyone goes back to eating the same bullshit.

You think working 60 hours a week and only getting paid 40 so that your boss can notice you is a flex? Playboy, you look like an easy hoe. Or playgirl, I don’t discriminate - y’all all can be on some hoe shit if you let yourself. Especially the side hustle crowd because why do you want to guilt me into misery too? I like getting to relax on the weekends. Me and my lady just started a garden of beautiful vegetables and blossoms. I went from the free lunch program to growing my own food baby - I made it.

We can joke about hustle culture but if you’re not careful you can get into a photography hustle culture that will drain you of any joy from the creative process. If you’ve ever fallen victim to this you know what I’m about the bring up. PROJECTS.

*Disclaimer - projects are not bad. So relax, damn.*

I am not hating on the idea of projects or “self-assigned” projects. I am dismissing the idea that if you don’t have one you’re currently working on, you don’t take photography seriously and that’s why you won’t ever be somebody. You’re somebody to someone today. Whether you like it, appreciate it, and value it or not. It’s just like the fitness influencers who try to guilt you into going to the gym by saying you have to work when others won’t in order to be great.

*Extra disclaimer: No I’m not hating on fitness influencers or hustle culture because I’m fat and broke. I’m fine as hell, own a house and have a hot wife - by that metric, I’m deadass what majority of fitness influencers are only 2/3 of, at best.*

We all have a pace that is natural. We all have a that is unique to us. If your natural movements are slow, calculated and few then why does rushing and pushing yourself to create things beyond that pace sound like a good idea? Because someone else guilted you into or you self talked yourself into it because you aren’t happy where you are? If you like having projects, great, this isn’t for you. If you’re feeling pressure though - there is reason.

Don’t fall into the photography hustle culture. Work on something because you enjoy it. Work on a project because you’ve become inspired to do so. If you’re working on something because you are worried that without doing so you are a bad photographer, where is the fun in that?

Final thought and cat photos.

You may be thinking, “Why is Dee showing us these random ass cat photos?”

It’s because I took them and I like them. I had fun taking them. I enjoyed editing them. The cameras were either a GFX 50R or Leica M10-R or an M262 or an X-Pro 3; it kind of doesn’t matter. The lenses could have been expensive or not. I don’t even remember where I took all of these. I do, however, know that I like showing them.

At the end of the day, photography is easy. It’s just an exposure triangle and composition. Sometimes you don’t even have the time to compose. You just shoot from the hip and pray it turns out. When you get the shot you get it and when you don’t, you just kick rocks and say onto the next one. It’s a beautiful thing.

Don’t ruin it for yourself or allow others to influence the beauty out of it. This photo shit can be kinda nice.

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I went out with high hopes of being able to create a few images in the small townships sprinkled about the outskirts of San Antonio and Austin. Unfortunately, I was met with high winds and dust everywhere. Lots of construction and land “development”. It really has ruined the beauty of the Texas Hill country.

I traveled a total of six hours round trip to be disappointed with low visibility and just unworkable conditions. Gathering only a couple of images. I'm struggling with creating on my own a bit. I feel like things haven't been that open for me.

I work a day job for the government. Pays well. Secure. But I don't have time to create like I would. When I do make time, I'm getting nowhere. It's been tough. I'm not uninspired but I just can't catch a break.

I keep thinking about something Andre D. Wagner tells himself when our taking photos as a way to get him into the zone: It’s always right now. I am trying to put it to work. It's right now. My next image I'll enjoy. The inspiration. The moment will come. Right now. But it hasn't. I’d be lying if I said I wasn't bummed. But I have three tools I usually use when this happens that I think may be helpful to those of you reading.

1. Create a shot list for yourself of things you want to focus on for the next month; colors, vehicle types, textures, etc.

2. Recreate old shots you've previously enjoyed to get the juices of “watching the ball go in the net” working.

3. Tandem photowalk or trip with someone.

These things take time to get out of. Maybe I'll get out quick. Maybe not. I think my extra work has burned me out. Between wedding bids, commercial video work, non-profit work, day job, trying to be active, being a dog-dad, husband and having family over so much - I am just cooked.

So yeah, not a photo I really loved.

In this paid subscription, I will be discussing things about my process, struggles, gear, reviews, and just a little more on the technical side. If you have questions - ask and I will do my best to answer.

Here are some of the photos I was, “Meh”, about.

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This photo is one of my favorite photos ever and one that gives me mixed feelings. It’s of my mother who passed a couple of years back. Still feels recent. I miss phone calls with her. I miss her laugh. I miss her. All I have left is photos and videos. I took a lot. I wish I took more. When all you have left is memory and feelings - you should hope you have enough tangible evidence to keep the those memories fresh and accurate.

Speaking on the mixed feelings I had (if I may be very transparent for a moment), they come from a place of knowing I hid behind my camera during the time my mother was diagnosed with cancer to her death. I was present. I was there. I did my job as a son. I talked. I listened. I cried. Everything. However, I made sure that as her health declined, I kept a camera on me to mentally separate myself from the reality. A lot of these photos weren’t taken with the sole purpose of keeping these moments alive forever but with the thought of, “Pretty pictures will distract me.”

I regret that. Not that I would have felt any better than I do today. You don’t get over losing one of the loves of your life. I regret that because I used the camera as a defense mechanism I was never able to use it as the tool it could have been. I stopped taking photos of my mom. I didn’t want to remember her as the person she was during those final months. She was barely 50. She was an amazing woman. Horrible people get to live until they’re 80 and run for presidency or watch their grandkids grow old. Not her. Her time came sooner. I stopped taking photos. I wish I took more.

The Keeper.

We are all keepers of a memory. In your mind. In a video. In a photo. In BBMs from 2012 on your Bold 9900 (I will never let Blackberry die). We all keep something close to us. A pain or spite. A love or care. You keep something close to you. I choose to keep memories through photography. Sometimes I worry if it’s too much. If I make people insecure when there is a lens in their face. If I ruin the moment. I think we all question that from time to time.

I think we do a bad job of communicating why we take photos. I think we come off as intrusive because no one knows our intent. Telling family and friends why you want to take images. Sharing them. Doing your best to make these people look as beautiful as they are as if you were paid can go such a long way.

My mom loved the photos I took of her. Especially with the family. She enjoyed seeing everyone together. Photos of grandkids especially. It was great sharing those things. I’m sure she would have appreciated me taking beautiful photos of her when her health went south. I’m sure she would have appreciated being made to feel beautiful then too. I’m sure I would have loved having them.

We are all keepers of a memory; don’t forget that you have to make the memory in order to keep it.

Don’t let pretentiousness can get in the way.

I always hear people praising the idea of slowing down and waiting for the decisive moment. Not spraying and praying and settling for two or three images captured against tens or hundreds. This, at least as I’m told, helps to create more impactful images and helps progress your photography. When you just take as many frames as your heart desires it waters down your creativity or waters down your final image.

Why the actual ffffffhhhuuuccckkkk do we pretend that makes sense?

I get the desire to slow down. I get the desire to take a frame at a time and the satisfaction of hitting your shot. Not hating on that. Why, however, did we ever allow the idea that taking burst of images is a bad thing? More images isn’t at all a negative. The goal is to capture the photo. When I’m on assignment, I don’t get extra cash for taking less images to get the photo on my list. My job is to get the image by any legal and ethical means necessary.

Get the photo. If you have to fire of 3, 4, 8, or 30 images at a time to capture the image of who and what you want then do it. What matters is the image. Not how you got it or what you got it with. I wish I would have blasted off hundreds of photos more. I can only try and make up for it today.

I always cringe when people who shoot Leica (lower your pitchforks - I also shoot Leica… especially after I get this LASIK) say that the camera has “made them better” because they’re no longer taking hundreds of photos because they have to focus to nail the one. That admission always sounds like a skill and effort issue than a limitations issue.

Sometimes you have to spray and pray, as they say. Sometimes you get it in one go. At the end of the day do you even care or remember?

Take way too many images while you can.

You don’t know what tomorrow brings or who it takes with it during the sunset. That should be enough to encourage you to pick up the camera and create. Whether it’s absolute dog shit or a modern work of art. Today is what we have, and if tomorrow comes, it sure would be nice as hell to have a bunch of memories to revisit.

Miss you, mom

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Ansel Adams once said, “Twelve significant photographs in any one year is a good crop.”

That’s a bar. One that was meant to give a legitimate expectation to every photographer when it comes to judging their own work. Not every shot is going to change your life or be portfolio worthy. Enjoy the process and the chase of the image - not only the triumph of a successful final product. It was meant to help emphasize that quality matters more than quantity and to never be discouraged.

Like many things in the photography world, however, a lot of us have perverted a good phrase from a good man into something else. I have heard some turn this into an argument that, “Film is better because you slow down and don’t spray and pray…”, or the ever-loved on Reddit idea that, “A photobook should take years to develop if you actually care about your art…”, and some other weak ass ideas. Those interpretations don’t line up with Ansel Adams’ character and therefore we will dismiss them.

I love that phrase by Ansel. It helps me out a lot. I don’t think my time was wasted when I develop and scan images that are below my current standard. It’s a great mindset to view your images from. Great quote aside - I’ve noticed one thing about myself as I go through and review my older, not-significant-to-me images that didn’t make my portfolio.

After some time, I really love the photos I didn’t love before.

Are you drawn to it or inspired by it?

Simple question. Do you take photos of things you’re naturally drawn to or something you’ve been inspired to? We all make these decisions daily. When you first get bit by the street photography bug, your first instinct is to go out and take photos on the street. Chasing landscapes can make you pull over on the side of a road with the world’s smallest shoulder for just a chance at an okay photograph. When in inspired we go. That doesn’t always mean that is the only thing we see.

There is no wrong answer. The answer may change. The question is meant to get you thinking about your work and the images you’ve considered “failures”. What metric were they being judged by? By the objective in the moment (inspiration) or is it by the end result of a scene that had instant attraction (drawn to)? We at times may wrongly judge an image due to the mindset and goal we have in the moment.

I believe that by understanding why certain images show up in our catalogues frequently, we’re able to understand our strengths and potential for projects going forward. By understanding what you’re drawn to you are able to understand who you as a photographer naturally are.

Giving credit where credit is due.

The images you’re seeing in this post are all images that I had thrown to the side during import or after receiving scans. Before this month they were unedited. In fact, if it wasn’t for me looking for a specific image that someone requested for a licensing partnership I wouldn’t have noticed them.

Now that time has gone by and I stumbled upon these images - enough to create four different catalogues with 20-50 “keepers” in each - and it made me think about the way I critique my own work. Sometimes when my images aren’t aligned with a feeling or inspiration I had when taken I see them as not fitting into a set, a mood, or just not hitting the mark.

Now I love them. Now I’m noticing how frequently I take photos of cats, cars from the “bubble” era, liminal spaces, and empty buildings. I notice this and how much I like them. I subconsciously have been making them. But I never gave them any time.

None of our work is worthless. None of it is a waste. You either succeed or you learn. Even the work we don’t recognize as being decent, or good, or great at first can have a lasting impact on how you see things going forward. I believe that taking the time to go back and review older work is a great way of appreciating your own work beyond what an algorithm or check says. Of being honest about why you weren’t a fan or where you went wrong. Photography isn’t a race to be the best where it means you have to throw the bad to the side and move on quickly. It’s not even a marathon; photography is a walk in the park. It’s easy. It’s feeding the little ducks or smelling roses. Sitting in the grass or under the tree with a good book.

So take the time to go back and sit in the shade for a little longer and appreciate what is around you. The only one stopping you from doing this is you.

The project you are looking for has probably already begun.

I have three life-long projects I am working on as I travel across the US for creative work. Beyond that, I have been trying to think of a project I could work on that would inspire me to plan and pursue. I had thought about portraits, landscapes, macro photography - all things I have in my portfolio but take so much extra work to get done. I don’t think I need that anymore.

These images that I’ve taken over the last 7 years are the bones of projects I know I’ll enjoy. I may not have noticed before this month, but the creative side of my mind has been on autopilot. Telling me to snap images with reckless abandon that I used to think were the odd ones of the bunch.

I encourage you to do something similar. Taking a look at images from the past and see where the connect. Where the story is and what it is you’re being drawn to through the years. You may already have a completed work. Or you may have the beginnings of something that is project worthy.

Whether a zine, a photobook or just a series of posts on anywhere but Instagram (not on some uppity shit - it’s just because I am “fuck billionaires” for life over here) - appreciating the work you’ve already done and reviewing it may be exactly what you need to get out of your own way and achieve the short or long term goals you have set.

We all create good works. At times, we’re the last one to see it.

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I began taking photos around the age of 9 and I dabbled unintentionally with cameras until I was 18 and began getting paid for it. The jobs and amounts I was paid grew, and to this day, still continue on that positive trend.

My inspiration for photography was just purely off of vibes, photos of athletes that were hung up on walls at my schools, and recounting what the photos my family had taken while I was growing up looked like. I did not pick up a photography book until I was 27. I did not know Henri Cartier-Bresson, Gordon Parks or Vivian Maeir until I was around 26. I had never in my life put a name to some of the work I had seen. I had never been curious. It had never bothered me.

Then one day, I felt dumb for enjoying photography without knowing about other photographers. Online, I was constantly told, “You don’t know about this artist? You have to get their book. They inspired this. What about this artist? No? That thing you do - they inspired that. You can’t take yourself seriously unless you study and know these people!”

I believe we’ve all seen this conversation happen. The weird emphasis on looking up someone else’s work. Admiring it. Breaking it down. Knowing about that artists life and opinions. Only after that can you go out and say your image was intentional. Anything less and you’re just getting lucky - you’re not really “making photos”.

Inspiration is great - but it isn’t a metric.

I bring all that up because I think it, as the kids say, is hogwash. A load of malarkey. Some sucka shit. Yes, studying other artists can be a benefit and the knowledge is useful. I don’t agree with it being an obsession or a necessity to create great art. I don’t believe that not knowing artist names and their works makes you any less of a photographer. I don’t believe you have to ever pick up a photobook to understand how you want your images to look or to improve upon it. Everyone is different.

People at times try to use knowledge as a way to separate themselves from other; as if the knowing of a photo of literal trash from William Eggleston’s “Election Eve” makes them a better creator and person. Not everyone is like this - most people enjoy photobooks because they enjoy photography. They want to be inspired. That is what the work is for, after all.

I write these things because I’ve felt these things. I’ve talked to others about these things. They felt as if they were missing out on really enjoying photography if just because they didn’t know who the first Hungarian photographer of hamster portraits was. Grow how you grow. At the speed you feel comfortable. There is no prize for knowing more about a specific photographer. If photobooks and knowledge of others brings you joy or excitement then pursue it. Don’t allow it to feel like a requirement.

My five favorite artists of all-time and what little I know about them.

I don’t really know a lot about these five. I like them a lot. Their work has impacted me. I’ll try to leave some references to their work and story for you to view. Or don’t. Focus on the vibes.

1. Andre D. Wagner

My favorite photographer of all-time is Andre D. Wagner. I really like his work. It reminds me of home, even though it isn’t my home. His street photography and his published work “Here for the Ride” make me think of my childhood. It’s authentic and you can see the fact that he has relationship and relation with every subject. I think he has won a few awards, is part of the Gordon Parks fellowship. I knew of him when he was an “Instagram” photographer and now he’s taking portraits of your favorite athletes, artists and actors. He’s humble and his perspective on creating images out of nothing versus images out of opportunity is refreshing.

His website can be found here: https://www.andredwagner.com/

A fantastic interview with him can be found here:

2. Ansel Adams

Number two on my person list: Ansel Adams. He is known for his amazing landscapes and to many he is the greatest and most impactful in this area. His black and white images of the United States National Parks are a treat to look at. His use of infrared and the “zone” system made his shots unique, detailed and breathtaking. What a lot of people don’t know about is his documentary style portraits and candid images he had taken over the year. I am lucky enough to have collected many of his books (usually for $2-$7 at a thrift store) and see that side of his work. The man was TALENTED. Which is why personally I think Henri Cartier-Bresson was always trying to hate on my boy saying things like, “…the world is falling to pieces and all Adams and Weston photograph is rocks and trees…”; but, the insecure, silver-spoon hate coming from Henri didn’t stop Ansel from creating one of the most important collections ever.

An interview with Ansel Adams himself:

Where you can buy Ansel Adams’ photobooks for cheap: https://www.thriftbooks.com/

3. Gordon Parks

Gordon Parks is, for many, the most important American photographer; his impact on the world wasn’t limited to photography as he was also an author, director and poet. His capture of the civil rights movement, poverty and gangs stand out but his commercial works are also some of my personal favorites. Gordon stands out to me because he did so much, with so many topics and all of his work is amazing. His work was so amazing it forced people who were ignoring the evils of the Jim Crow South to come to face with the reality. His works directly expose the “two Americas” we live in to this day. Putting his impact and worth into words is not possible. So will give you some references instead.

A comprehensive look into his work and life can be found here.

Interview/full length documentary with Gordon Parks:

4. Graciela Iturbide

This may be a name you don’t know - but if just for a day, I hope you will. Graciela is an amazing documentarian and storyteller who uses photography to show Mexico through her eyes. Her early work documenting the process and realities of death to her documenting of the Zapotec culture - she has made some of the most interesting and fascinating work I’ve ever seen. She is one of the most authentic expressions of feeling the moment and working with it. More than that - her work is so damn beautiful.

Her website and work can be found here: http://www.gracielaiturbide.org/en/

An interview:

5. Walter Iooss

Finishing up by top five list is the GOAT sports photographer. There is no dispute. From anyone. There is no one close. With good reason. Your favorite photos of Jordan, the Triplet Dallas Cowboys, “The Catch”, Kobe, Tim Duncan in jean shorts or whatever - this is literally the man who is behind the camera. From his portraits to action images, this man just made anything work. His creativity is otherwordly. He is the reason I don’t care about specs when it comes to cameras for sports photography since most of his work was made with a film cameras, including large format. A stud. Shoutout to the GOAT.

An interview:

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Chapter 1: Introduction.

Gonna keep it a buck with you all - I think photography is one of the gateway drugs to being a total douchebag. At least that is how some people make it seem. All of my life, photography has done one of two things to people:

1. Turned someone into one of the coolest nerds in the world.

   1. Fun, easy to converse with, geeks out about cameras, wants to see your work, sees you as a person and not a networking opportunity.

2. Turned someone into a know it all snob.

   1. Boring, wants to show how much more they know that others, always has a critique of someone’s work, always speaks in photography absolutes (ie. film is better, a specific brand is the best), sees you as a networking opportunity and only communicates when clout is on the line.

We can literally pack everyone into one of these two groups in the photography realm. You know the people I’m talking about - it’s okay if you see them in your head when you’re reading the two categories.

Nobody owns photography. No one person is keeping photography alive. Photography doesn’t need any saving or any purification. Regardless of how many photographers who have jobs at agencies, publishers and professional sports teams due to nepotism try to tell you it does - it doesn’t. Photography was never meant to be a certain way done by a certain type of person - it was meant to capture moments. (I know that some of you will get pissy about that statement as well because historically you always have.)

The insecure photographer says many things that hold no weight and have nothing to do with actual images. In fact, many of them are very talented - but their talent alone means nothing to them as their focus is on everyone else. Their goal is to bring down others in YOUR mind so that they can believe in THEIR mind that you see them in a better light. That’s some lame-ass, hater stuff.

Their main devices when it comes to hater communication are usually:

1. The Film vs Digital argument and an absolute of one being better than the other.

2. Never showing love to any of the contemporary greats and disguising their “love” of an older generation of photographers as the reason.

3. Are just a sucker for nostalgia - I mean the way they praise the 1950-60s as a utopia both artistically and politically around the world.

4. Labeling photographers as “Real”, “Instagram”, “YouTube”, etc.

Let’s discuss in an effort to avoid and identify these people and mindsets. After all, what matters more than being really, really good at photography - is being a decent, respectful and caring human being.

Chapter 2: Film or Digital? A question that doesn’t need answering.

Quick run through some truths that relate to this discussion:

• Is film better than digital? No.

• Is digital better than film? No.

• Do real photographers only shoot film? No.

• Do real photographers have to shoot film at all? No.

• Do professional photographers have to shoot digital? No.

• Is digital photography always better for professionals? No.

• Do you have to experience shooting film to better your photography? No.

• Does the quality of your image matter more than the format? Yes.

I know this will immediately ruffle feathers. Film is nostalgic (more on that later) and has a certain feeling or warmth to it. It has a value to it that is hard to understand - until you realize it’s a value we have assigned to it ourselves.

Film is almost 1:1 identical in every way to digital when making an image but one - the ability to instantly review. When you understand that, it’s easier to realize workflow and time limitations are the only real decisions to make when deciding which is best for you unless you’re choosing to get into darkroom printing.

You see a subject, you focus (MF or AF are available in both film and digital cameras), you expose (or the camera exposes for you), you press the shutter. If you fuck any of these things up, you end up with an unusable image. Whether you’re shooting JPEG with a preset built in or film (each film stock is basically its own preset - no two stocks react or look the same) you have to get it right in camera, or else.

Some people think RAW images and editing in Lightroom is cheating. “Editing your image is insincere - film is pure...”, is what I’ve been told over and over. If you believe that is true, I hope you never look up “darkroom editing” online or read any of the many books on darkroom editing that have been published since the inception of film photography.

A great image is a great image and that is what matters. If you take a shit image on digital just remember that it will be shit on film as well, and vice versa. You can be just as intentional on digital as you are on film. One isn’t better than the other. Don’t make either your personality. Prioritize making your personality that of a caring person.

Chapter 3: Contemporary artists deserve more respect - stop being dismissive.

When I first started getting into purchasing film books and learning more about other photographers (I was 25 at the time and I had been working as a photographer for 7 years) I was always told to view the work on an Henri Cartier-Bresson, Ansel Adams, Vivian Maeir, Richard Avedon and others from before my time. I tore through blogs, online galleries and books at my local thrift shop. The work was great - but I never connected to it. Not only was majority of it not relative to my culture or position in life but the conversation surrounding some of these artists didn’t make sense. “These are real photographers… They did it the right way… No social media… They used Leica… Large format is king…”, and many other things that had nothing to do with my relation to these artists were the reasons why I should like them. Because they were the first to put something on the map or the first to have a gallery here or there.

I understand these artists and their position in history and I respect all they’ve done for and in photography (Ansel Adams has slowly become one of my top five photographers of all-time) but I didn’t draw inspiration from them. I just like their pretty pictures.

The first artist that I ever noticed on Instagram (I didn’t have the app until 2020) was Andre D. Wagner. His work around Brooklyn and his project “Here for the Ride” absolutely rocked me. Every image was a story. I connected with every emotion, feeling and situation. I felt like I was there. I wanted to immediately go outside and create.

The first example I had of photographers taking photos for fun and not just to make money was watching the YouTube channel Stockezy (Jason Roman). A specific video where he and Gajan Balan walked around New York City taking photos with their Fujifilm X-Pro 2 cameras and an XF 16mm f2.8. I was captivated. I binged all of their videos and studied all of their posts online. I took notes on lighting, composition, the way they spoke to strangers for a portrait, their etiquette. I have a lot of reasons to say thank you to those two since then as well - their work inspired me and it turns out they’re both very nice people.

When I hear people talk about those three artists, or a Joe Greer, or a Vuhlandes, or a Jason Kummerfeldt I constantly hear alongside their praise how they’re only famous because of social media. You can’t take them seriously because they started on YouTube or Instagram (more on this later). How an artist like a Jessica Kobeissi or Sissi Lu aren’t serious because they make reels and content that don’t always obsess over photography.

When I bring up my love for imagery from Steve McCurry, Annie Leibovitz, Walter Iooss (The GOAT of sports photography) I’m often met with dismissal when I say I prefer them over some of the more common photographers I’m told I’m supposed to love. “You just need to dive into more books - those photographers were inspired by Avedon and Eggleston…”, is what I was recently met with. Yet, I don’t give a fuck. My favorite artists are those that have taken photos that I can understand. I know the places, people, faces and feelings. I don’t relate to a silver spoon Frenchman who was so insecure himself - he actively hated on a peer during their own gallery.

At some point, every artist is contemporary. That does not make them any less valuable. Yet, the stretch I see from people who will downplay our generations greatest because they feel it benefits their own ego is egregious. The resentfulness I see people have toward Joe Greer, who I don’t know and never plan on knowing, all because of his success leaves me smeckledorfed. When people create great images and great works we should be humble enough to appreciate it and wise enough to acknowledge that our refusal to allow ourselves to appreciate things is an issue with our own soul and not that of the artist.

Whether they started on YouTube, Instagram, National Geographic, Rolling Stone or in a loft in Temple, TX a photographer should be objectively judged on the quality of their work and the quality of human they are. Not the superficial things we choose in order to move the goal posts.

Chapter 4: The nostalgia trap.

Nostalgia: /nəˈstaljə/ a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.

This one is my favorite to breakdown and explain how weird it is we’ve gaslit ourselves into thinking that the past, especially one we were never part of, was better. The feeling of film is often called nostalgic. The imagery from legendary photographers paint the world, its colors, outfits and people as something to long for and learn from.

Many an insecure photography has yelled at me in messages and comments about how the way things were done “back then” were the right way. No social media. No chimping. No likes and followers. Just earning things through hard work. Through dedication. Through countless hours on the street. Those were the days when your photography work was what afforded you notoriety and not clout.

Yes, I remember those days - when women couldn’t have bank accounts, segregation and racism was legally encouraged, nations were recovering financially from the second World War, disease and hunger were tearing through countries and chemical castration of the queer community was praised; how we all must long for the days of 1947 when Magnum was established by Henri Cartier-Bresson because cars, clothes and neon signs were super cool. Back when wealth and trust funds could get you a gallery and notoriety the right way.

You get my point.

We chase a feeling of a simpler time that wasn’t a reality for an overwhelming majority of people. We chase a feeling of significance from a time that didn’t welcome many people based on their skin, who they love and how much they make.

We chase it and tell others they have to chase it to in order to be a real photographer. That we have to take photos on a specific camera that the greats of yesterday used, on a certain film (“Color is bullshit.” - HCB), or using a certain lighting technique. Constantly being told how, “The greats never did this… the greats never did that…”, well, the greats are scaring the hoes (male, female, non-binary, etc).

We chase a time where some of the most influential people from that time were making images hoping to expose the world that actually was. Gordon Parks did not create Segregation Story to make you long for it - but to learn from it.

Nostalgia can be very poisonous. It’s a standard the camera douchebag community oddly measure themselves up against. Don’t fall for it. Be nice, encourage people to try new things and don’t confuse inspiration with the blueprint.

Chapter 5: What is a real photographer?

I’m gonna say something controversial.

*takes deep breathe… or breath… somebody help*

If you take photos with intention of things you like or find interesting - people, skies, puppies, shoes, cool looking sticks - and you archive, share or print any of those photos then you’re a photographer.

*sirens blare in the distance… screams echo through canyons*

Photographer: /fəˈtäɡrəfər/ a person who takes photographs, especially as a job.

That’s the definition. If it fits, it fits. Don’t overthink it or ask for the opinion of others. You did it. You’re a photographer. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. It doesn’t hurt anyone to say this. It doesn’t hurt photography as an art. You are a photographer.

What a jealous, insecure, hater-ass photographer may say in response to this, after they stop shaking and log into their burner account, is that, “Not everyone is a photographer - it’s disrespectful to the art to say this and just because I cook a meal doesn’t make a chef!”, to which I would easily answer, “Right. Everyone is not a photographer - but people who take photos intentionally over and over again of things they find interesting are. It isn’t disrespectful to the art because the art has no guideline other than to photograph images. If you make one meal and continue to do so with the intention of getting better at making these meals and share it with others - that kind of fucking makes you a chef.”

By most photography snobs definition of the term, Vivian Maeir is not a photographer. Street photographers like Joel Meyerowitz would have been encouraged to give up and stop wasting our time. Technically, Andre Wagner should have never picked up a camera. The label wouldn’t fit.

Labels - they’re lame as hell. They’re used to help identify things. In the right mind they can be used to help. In the wrong one they can be used to put down others.

A year ago, on Threads, I saw a discussion about real photographers and photography that worried me. A young woman - who used Instagram to share work, sold presets and used social media as a portfolio when they first began - spoke about the difference between, “… real photographers and Instagram photographers…”, and made some very ironic points.

Real photographers are those who:

• Study the greats.

• Don’t make content for Instagram.

• Don’t rely on presets.

• Have a portfolio outside of social media.

• Carefully craft their images because they love photography.

It was such a weird rant. The assumption that if you take photos that are posted on Instagram before you get a job at an ad agency, an ambassadorship with Panasonic or use your familial connections to land you jobs, that you are just an “Instagram photographer” and not a “real photographer”. That no one but working photographers have ever heard of “the greats”. That presets, similar to the ones used for this artist to achieve their distinct look, were bad. That unless you’re paid to take photos you don’t care about your photography.

There were many others who chimed in with the same sentiment that all had the same ironic things in common - they all used their social media platforms to disparage artists who use social media platforms to share their work. They made sure to articulate the difference between themselves and someone who is literally just like how they used to be before they were given a job.

Labels. If you allow insecure people to create them, they will always be used to separate and demean.

I get comments all the time about me being a “YouTube photographer”. I have been actively taking photos, being paid and published in some extent, for over a decade now. Commercial work, weddings, sports photography, documentary work. Websites, magazines, newspapers. $50 jobs to $10,000 jobs. Yet, the thing that bothers me about someone calling others a “YouTube photographer” isn’t the implication I am not professional but the implication that someone’s art is less valuable because they choose to share it online.

There are even people on YouTube who call photographers on YouTube a YouTube photographer while they post three videos a week to grow their own YouTube channel. Hypocrisy is the backbone of insecurity and fear. It’s the only way you can take yourself seriously. Labels used to separate or to create classes of something are used by the insecure to limit growth and the voice of those that scare them. Those that make themselves feel not good enough or weaker than.

A real photographer isn’t verified by who they know, what they were paid or where they were features. A real photographer is, by definition, someone who takes photos. That should be all there is to it. If someone who takes photos of ducks being called a photographer ruins your day - that’s on you. If you can’t enjoy your $4000 payday from a wedding you shot because some girl in Toledo, Ohio called herself a street photographer after three months then you need help.

But don’t blame others and the joy they have for the fact that you’ll never be happy with yourself due to your own jealousy.

Chapter 6: Why I wrote this.

People will always complain and ask - lots of time not publicly - why I wrote this because I’m bringing more attention (such a stupid argument) to the negativity in photography.

Here are the reasons why:

• I did cause I could - If you want to defend any of the things I said are shitty then you’re free to type that bitch up.

• I have recently received multiple comments saying, “I was insecure about saying I’m a photographer”, or, “I was discouraged from photography after talking other photographers”.

• I believe it is important to be reminded people that we can see their insecurity and that it is corny as fuck.

• I believe it is important to promote kindness and people minding their business.

Hope you enjoyed this subject; my intention was not to offend - unless you deserved offending.

Take it light, but take it.

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I’ve written a lot about how things have changed for me this last year in photography. How I evaluate a good picture, a good story or a good mindset; so on and so forth. I don’t know why my mind has shifted from the need to prove my value as an artist to the need to create art that is valuable to me, but it has. I have applied to a juried exhibition this year and a competition. I have taken assignments and made some money. All the usual things are being done as usual but the steps along the way, and not just the goal, have been what I’ve looked forward to the most.

It’s not just the successes and the little wins - but the failures and the lessons that keep me going.

You should be happy you get the opportunity to suck today.

I used to think that covering up the bad in my life allowed me to have greater control over how others see me. I used to think there was strength in that. Never showing a decline of bid, an angry email from a client, a bad review of a portfolio. Just the good. That will make you stand out. Due to this, I struggled with failure. Feared failure. Avoided things that I could fail at - even if they were inconsequential. I didn’t share anything other than what I believed was the best representation of me - even though it wasn’t a legitimate representation at all.

It’s weird. A lot of people struggle with this; however, I never realized how limiting this mindset was to my success. To first learn how to do something right, you at times have to overcome the fear of doing things wrong. My most recent portraits using flash in studio would have been nothing without my failing of my first attempts. Without taking subpar photos on the sideline of high school and junior college football/baseball games, I would have never desired to learn about shutter speed, iso, and white balance the way I did; without that failure I wouldn’t have taken the steps to succeed.

I used to sit in my failure. Ask questions and look for answers. I used to be happy with what I had created but curious on how to be better. I used to share that work. Proud and excited. I stepped away from that. The longer I’ve had a camera in my hand the more I feel as though I should know better. I used to try new things. I used to suck - but I was so happy I had the opportunity to suck. I should see myself as so lucky to do so again today.

The box can be a bit restricting.

A lot of people put themselves into a box. Portrait Photographer. Landscapes. Street. Documentary. This is my box. Nothing wrong with the box. There are things outside of the box, though, and their inclusion in your life doesn’t destroy your happy, little box.

The box is a place of comfort and submission. For some, it’s a place where they can guarantee their safety from failure. For others, it’s the place where they assume they can grow to fame. “If I stay in this box I can create a lane for myself, I can be known as this, I can succeed in this, I can become this.” It is a great, safe bet. Yet, I don’t believe that safety alone means fulfillment. I think it can be lonely.

I talk to a lot of people (I’m not joking - lots of photographers) about how they want to start doing this or try doing that but they don’t have the gear or the knowledge to start. Some want to try landscapes. Some want to try portraits with off camera lighting. Some want to create videos. Some want to shoot sports. They don’t, though. Either the starting position is too low (and they want me to help them get credentials), they don’t want to start with the gear they have (the amount of times I’ve been told, “I’ll save up for this down the road so I can do it right the first time), or they worry how it will mix with their portfolio/social media. So they forgo chances to learn. To ask questions. To join a new community. All so nobody has to know they need help or are trying something new.

The box isn’t freedom. It’s fear. It’s this idea that in order to enjoy something you have to immediately be good at it. Regardless of the fact that you were not born a master of the subject of the box you’ve set yourself in. You forget the failure. The fun of it. The nostalgic beauty of looking back and seeing where you came from. You’ve become a caricature of yourself that you’ve molded for yourself in hopes that others accept it. You tell a story of success built on success; and it’s boring at times.

You don’t have to abandon your box. I’m never going to say the box is bad. The box can get you paid. Still, opening the door to your box and stepping outside isn’t bad for you or your career or portfolio. It’s just being curious.

I’ve recently gotten into landscape photography - it is way outside of my box. I suck. I mean, I’ve taken a few stunning images when the scenery is beautiful and the lighting is right; but I have struggled outside of that. I’ve failed when the colors and weather or mountains and rivers don’t do the work for me. It’s frustrating to walk eight miles and feel as though you didn’t get what you wanted.

My engagement on social media is down. My watch time on YouTube is down (this could also be because the people who say they hate gear videos only watch gear videos, though). My response and praise from others is down. No celebrity photos. No athletes at the top of their game. No credits in one of the largest new publications in the US. Just a sunset.

That’s fine. At first it wasn’t. But now it is - because I’m enjoying being outside of the box. The box is always there for me to step into. I’m really enjoying being outside the box, though. The travel. The sunsets and sunrises. The water and the air. The quality time with my lady. The sound of nothing and the noise of everything. The failure and the questions. The success and the pride. Outside the box is a place where I don’t take myself seriously. I just get to grow. To learn. I’m not the expert. I get to try and fall and repeat. I get to enjoy everything for the first time again.

Outside the box isn’t safe - but it is a blessing.

Enjoying failure while you can.

You won’t always have the chance to be who you are in this moment. With the people you hold dearly. Life changes. Day by day. It will never be the same as it is now no matter how hard you try. Live a lot, not a little. Live the highs and the lows. Live the success and the failure. One cannot know the warmth of the light without overcoming darkness. A risk is a risk but to never have done is to always be without.

Failure isn’t bad. What we do with failure determines where we go. As Jalen Hurts said after he lost his first Super Bowl, “You either win or you learn.”, and if you’re afraid to fail then you limit your opportunities to learn. Learning is what helped you succeed. You cap yourself when you cap your chances to suck.

We’re limited in this time we have to do these things (whether because of age or because America literally elected the biggest dumbass in political history) and you should learn to enjoy all the little things on the journey of your life.

The good things and the things that suck.

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I don’t believe it is out of pocket to say that the digital information age has warped the way a lot of photographers view their work. It’s not just the comparison thing - comparison happens and how you manage it is up to you. It is also not just the gear lust that happens from time to time to everyone. To act like these two issues are because of Instagram, YouTube or just that damn phone in general is kind of disingenuous.

I do believe, however, digital age has changed the way we view the images of the subjects that matter the most to us. The people, places and things we love are now put under a microscope of, “Will this image translate to people on the internet.” We review, we judge, then we smile and cast aside. Drop it to your phone to live beneath next weeks memes and screenshots from Threads. No sharing, no printing, no follow up. “How strong is this image? Is this good enough for my portfolio?”

Ain’t that some shit?

Separating your desire to be the next Annie Leibovitz from the reverence your life deserves.

No shade to Annie - she was in my top five for the longest time; but she’s an amazing example of a photographer starting at the bottom and working their way up. From the small beginnings of a tiny publication (Rolling Stones at the inception) and the pressure of financing three camera bodies with lenses to be able to do your job (IYKYK) Annie took what was given to her and made something out of it.

If this is your dream, I get it. Some of the most amazing experiences in my life were on assignment. The travel. The importance of the work. The feeling of being important and at the top of your craft. The exclusivity. The access. It feels amazing. With all those emotions - the pay was still, meh. The images of these strangers from Matthew McConaughey, Fernando Tatis Jr., Manu Ginobili and others look amazing on a portfolio but don’t have a place on the walls of my home. For good reason. These people mean nothing to me - why would I allow the most intimate part of my life to be surrounded by their likeness.

What does hang on my wall are the photos of the things that matter. The homes and faces frozen in time that I will continue to love until there is no more of me to give love from. Those that are here and those that aren’t. Backs of heads, hands and blurry faces that paint the perfect picture regardless of the information lacking. Taken on cell phones, cheap cameras and the most expensive loaner gear from Fujifilm that I was able to get my hand on.

How doesn’t matter - who is what matters.

Your best work, in many cases, will never be the anything you will ever be known for. Your life is important. You are important. Those around you are important. Those important things may not translate to those on the internet and that’s fine; they’re for you.

You can get to your there by still being present in your here.

Sometimes I worry that people think in order to become the next huge photography thing you have to lose yourself to whatever asshole photographer persona you thought was cool when you first started. Similar to the 12 year old boys who think Elon Musk or Andrew Tate are super cool regardless of their child trafficking charges and trust-fund-baby-turned-deadbeat-dad realities.

You don’t have to be that. You don’t have to devote your life to changing who you are until you create the perfect uppity douche. You need to be you.

You don’t have to change circles, camera brands or change the way you speak. Talent is both seen and overlooked regardless of how special it is. Your proximity to success is not dependent on how well you copy someone else’s life and attitude.

To abandon yourself and to abandon the things you enjoy is such a sad, sad ordeal. So don’t do it. Skill over location will always be a truth. You don’t have to be in New York to create amazing candid moments. In fact, I believe if you can capture someone’s eye with a street photo in a different landscape that the oversaturated New York City street market - you’d stand out more. You don’t need to step away from your current situation and take your talents to South Beach; you should lean into it.

Grow that affection of what made and makes you, you. Those photos of your kids running around shape your eye, heart and skill. Those portraits of your husband that he tries so hard to get out of will shape your eye, heart and skill. Those landscapes of your small village or town and the little details shape your eye, heart and skill.

Your eye captures the image before your camera, your heart connects to it and your skill will make it happen.

At the end of the day…

Do what makes you happy. Just don’t confuse the momentary pet of your ego with the lasting relationships and pieces of you that create who you are.

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Photography is pretty neat. See cool thing. Go click. BOOM. It isn’t overly difficult nowadays to get good at photography and any camera is good enough to be your first or your newest camera.

I like that. I like things that are simple, not easy. Compared to learning instruments, it is night and day in most examples. I spent years learning guitar and piano and still, to this day, cannot remember a single chord or progression without 30 minutes of fumbling around a fretboard or ivories… but the bass? It’s like I never left. The simplicity of the bass makes it so satisfying. I don’t have to overthink - I just groove.

Photography is like playing bass. It can be as simple as you need for it to be in order to enjoy it and participate; but, when you’re ready to make music and not just play music, the simplicity allows you to create intricate things outside the groove that just feel right. Bass players can play straight or embellish all set long but the joy is still the same. To create something beautiful to you is to create something of value.

The greatest lesson I’ve learned in photography is that things are the most beautiful in their simplicity; the need to make things intricate is usually based in a desire to look more badass to others.

Simple isn’t boring; simple resonates.

I think people associate simple with boring. More importantly, I feel like people think simple is boring depending on who the simple things come from. With all due respect, I see tons of William Eggleston images of literal soda cans on the ground or overgrown lots that are hailed to the ends of the earth; the same images from someone unknown are easily dismissed as beginner and average. Why do the some of the images from William Eggleston’s “Election Eve” deserve praise but your own don’t?

The simple has value. If you assign the value to it. I understand that a lot of people separate themselves from the group with the extravagant and the unique. I truly do. Yet, there are many examples of those separating themselves for consistently finding the beauty in the simple things. Whether the beauty of life in color like Eggleston, the beauty in nature (or “rocks like HCB famously threw a hissy fit about) like Ansel Adams, or the beauty in everyday life in a subway like Andre D. Wager - simple resonates and separates.

Learning to appreciate all of the simples in photography.

We hear simple and we think stripped down. We assume it’s bare bones, get’er done type work. Simple can be elaborate. Simple can be embellished.

To bring it back to music - every song has a progression, chords, notes and all that jazz (I don’t know how to read music so excuse me for not being a theory expert). What you do outside of the progression - a note on the off beat or an accent placed here or there - can give life to the simple structure of a song. Like guitar or bass solos? They are in the structure of the arrangement but outside of the expectation of the progression. Simple doesn’t have to be basic. Simple can be creative.

As I’ve chased the rush of the simple I’ve taken notice of other photography genres in my time have been labeled “basic”. I assumed macro photography was just lens, camera, subject and ram that shit up to it. However, as I’ve learned about the work it takes to create these images, I have learned to love the complexity of it. The lighting, the staging, the attention to color/pattern recognition. It’s beyond amusing. It’s inspiring.

The same goes for landscape. I figured it was just point and pretty-picture-of-rolling-hills it up. The leg work of finding the location, choosing the correct focal length, and being there at the right light, however, has been so tough on me. The simple stuff is no nuanced - you see the final product but what goes into that simple image is tons of knowledge, prep and execution.

Simple, sometimes, requires a reset - learn to allow them.

I have had multiple days where I’m sitting around or out-n-about with a camera where I think to myself, “Man, I really wanna just cut back.” A desire to have less and do more. Selling gear to not make room for more gear but to make room for more nothing. I’ve done it, then undone it to only do it again, and repeat. Cameras are fun and trying different systems is a joy. Yet, I always wanted to simplify things. I needed a reset.

A reset doesn’t mean I sold all my gear. It doesn’t mean I stopped taking photos. It doesn’t mean I bought a beanie, switched only to film and began to wax poetic about how much better it is than digital (film is better than digital in the same way that a dog is better than a cat - it depends on the person and who the hell even cares about your opinion if you’re a shit person). I just reset my mind to learning how I could be better at documenting the simple things I love.

I purchased books about lighting for my simple portraits I take. I looked in forums to learn how to take a simple photo of a landscape better. I watched a video on how a wildlife photographer takes a simple photo of a bird in flight. I asked how to set up a simple topography shot to be more enticing and looked into complimentary colors. I reset my mind to that of a beginner.

I’ve taken photos of cool stuff. Assignments and credentials out the ass over here. Yet, none of that helps me achieve the simple images I want to achieve. It’s challenging to start over and try something new - but if you keep it simple, you just may make it out.

Practical things I did to pursue the beauty in the simple.

I understand spinning a yarn like this is useless without some practical ways you can become simple so here are a couple of things I did myself.

• Sold the gear I wasn’t in love with and bought the gear that worked with my faults.

  • Bye, bye Leica (yes, even the M2 is going up for sell), Bronica and Fujifilm - specs and name are amazing but if you aren’t using it, you aren’t going to use it.

  • I wear glasses and I also hate carrying around lots of gear - so I purchased the gear that would make my life easier: Nikon F3HP for the giant viewfinder, Lumix S5ii for video and photo assignments, Canon M6ii for a personal walk around camera are my main squeezes.

    

• Stopped trying to be someone I ain’t - I’m not an always carry a camera guy.

  • I don’t want to take a camera with me everywhere I go - so I stopped doing it and it’s been fantastic; if a photo presents itself I just learn to appreciate the moment, analyze why I like this view, and store that information for later.

• Thought about who my work is for and decided to focus on that.

  • I take photos for myself, my family and then my clients; so I just tailored my priorities to that. I wanted to take more landscape and macro photos, so I am doing that for myself. My family loves when I send them photos I’ve taken of each of them, so I take more photos of family when I’m with family. Finally, my clients pay me for video and portrait/event photography, so unless I’m getting paid I don’t prioritize videos, portraits or event photography.

  • Due to the above, I have taken a step back from the aforementioned portraits and event work (unless paid) and even stepped back from street and topography. Not because I don’t like them but because I wanted to focus my energy on the others.

    

• Dove into black and white imaging.

  • This one isn’t to say black and white is better than a color image at all; getting that out of the way immediately - I’m still shooting color but I’m digesting more monochrome media.

  • I have shot more black and white film and more black and white jpegs in order to focus less on color and tonez and simplify what it is I’m looking for: composition and light.

    

• Watched MORE videos about gear and photography on Youtube.

  • I know that every hipster-ass, know-it-all in the photography realm says gear videos are horrible and people on Youtube aren’t real photographers but to that I have to say: go get some bitches dawg.

  • Watching gear videos has been a bit of relief for me as I get to see some quirky cameras and really assess what is and isn’t important in a machine (that’s all these are) to me from channels like One Month, Two Cameras, grainydays, Alex Munoz, Edward Gilbert, Bad Flashes, and Jake Hayden to name a few.

  • Watching videos specifically about creative process, art philosophy and tutorials have become my obsession as I use these as a way to learn and relax as they play while I cook, clean or edit from channels like , , , , James Popsys, Marcus Lloyd, Reggie Ballesteros, Zac Clough, Lukas van der Lende, cowgirl_film, and binge watching Vuhlandes videos that make me want to ditch everything and become a film maker.

    

Hope this made sense and I hope the beautifully simple things find you well. Take it light, but take it.

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I’ve been taking photos for a long time now. I’ve gotten good at it. Everyday I’m getting gooder at it, too (if you catch that reference, bless you). It’s not hard. Film or digital really just comes down to a few principles or “truths” and some personal taste. Don’t let people back you into a corner and make you think that photography is this beast that needs to be conquered, as it is just a companion to your daily life.

In my lifetime, I have heard so many “truths” of photography. What is ethical, what isn’t, what produces better images, how to expose, how to compose, how to sell; a lot of it is helpful, but not all of it is critical. Helpful meaning it can help you create better images: filtration, shutter speed to focal length ratio, wearing a wide brim fedora, yadda yadda. Critical meaning you cannot create an image that is readable or discernable without it: exposure triangle, composition, making sure you didn’t forget an SD card or roll of film, blah blah.

There are some things, however, that as I’ve gone from taking photos of nothing to something, from no one to some one, for myself to for others, aren’t really rules or principles that matter. We’ve given some of these ideas more weight than they truly deserve because of who said them or the tone in which we were told them. We don’t know why they became such a common belief but here we are. Today, I’d like to piss off all of the pretentious photographers by naming some of these useless principles. Let’s begin.

Number One: F1.4 and wider is professional.

This conversation is one I’ve frequently had and let me give the main squeeze of my feelings now: a fast lens doesn’t make it a great lens and a great lens doesn’t have to be fast.

Now that the main thought is out of the way, let’s get into the weeds a bit. This thought of the faster the lens the more professional it is has been around a while. It’s a fantastic marketing ploy - everyone sees images that professionals take and assume the lens is what makes the magic happen. So camera manufacturers take advantage of that and started to make their faster primes and zooms their “professional” line; but why do we buy that croc-a-shit?

As I said above, we have the idea that what makes a great image is the lens when that is absolutely not the truth. Location, composition, LIGHTING, and most of all SUBJECT matter most in a lot of these photos. The first three I know most people will agree with me full stop but the last will make some people pause. If I take an identical portrait or Denzel Washington and of a random barkeep in NY, the image with Denzel is going to get more love and end up in my portfolio. The subject of an image matters and when you see a photo of something you like you can talk yourself into gassing up an image and the equipment used more than you know.

When a photo is done right or the subject is something or someone you like, you really don’t worry about aperture value in the image and all the lighting and diffusion. The difference between f1.2 and f.18 quickly fades. The purity of whether the glass is Leica or Voigtlander doesn’t really matter.

If an image sucks or is off a bit, maybe you don’t like the way the subject looks, usually the only thing to save it online is by saying you shot it with an f1.2 lens or on film. People will jump through the flames to hype up a G-Master lens but will shit on a f2 lens in the hands of capable photographers making images that the lazy cannot.

You make the lens professional, not the aperture designation. If you need more light, then learn how to light. If you need a blurrier background to hide the background, then work on how to block and compose. An f2.5 lens is more professional in my hands than an f.95 is in the hands of someone who will use natural light to take a portrait in the dark.

Number Two: Digital noise/grain ruins an image.

To all the purists who worry about grain and digital noise in your images - get over it. For as long as photography has been around and even now, noise is just a part of the game. In majority of situations when shooting in low light - it’s just gonna happen. I get that de-noise tools are super helpful to clean things up a bit but unless you’re completely botching a shot the noise and grain won’t be bad.

Here is an exercise: Look up your favorite athlete or musician and take a look at images taken of them at nighttime or in a a dark venue. Zoom in a little on that photo. You won’t have to zoom in far and you’ll see something similar across every image regardless of film or digital capture - there is grain/noise.

Noise and grain don’t make an image unprofessional or useless - it’s just there. The subject is still the subject. Unless you completely nuke the image like a mid 2000s deep fry of an image (clarity slider and texture slider maxed) the last thing you will ever care about is the noise. In fact, in many cases, the grain/noise ends up adding a dynamic layer to the image. I have been blessed to work many low light events from concerts to professional sports and one thing that my peers along with myself never worry about is noise.

Composition, position and intuition. That’s what makes your shot great - not low light performance.

Number Three: Sensor/negative size matters most.

Let’s go ahead and just say the quiet part out loud:

I am tired of full-frame fan boys. I don’t care how many megapixels your full-frame camera has or how fine your Portra 400 grain is - your get more information and an objectively better image from medium format with all things being equal. That isn’t bad and doesn’t mean full-frame sucks. That’s just how physics work and there is nothing to be sad about.

However, that doesn’t mean that’s all that matters or what matters most; what matters most is using a camera that makes you want to create and feel free to flow in that creative space.

I hate the sensor size conversation - majority of you don’t understand how to calculate for depth of field, or what bokeh is or how optics work and so the conversation is just clouded with crap. Due to that, people have ruined the joy of photography for many by making them believe if they don’t have the newest full-frame digital or best 35mm camera, they ain’t shit. Which is lame.

If I take photo of a beautiful landscape in Yosemite that wins an award with a Micro 4/3 camera and your magnum opus is a soda can with your Sony A7IV, you really feel you are in a position to tell me that having a camera like yours will make me a better photographer just because of sensor size?

The photographer’s ability to find “the shot” will always matter more than your sensor size - so keep on snapping all ye Micro 4/3 and APSC faithful.

Number Four: Black and white makes better portraits.

Their is a popular quote from Ted Grant, a Canadian photojournalist, that is ofter referenced when portrait photography is discussed. “When you photograph people in color, you photograph their clothes, but when you photograph people in black and white, you photograph their souls!”

I am not for or against this quote. I get the point being made. I just don’t believe this is an absolute and frequently, when I share portraits in color online, I have been met with, “You should start taking portraits in black and white.” Again, I understand the position, but I don’t think it’s an absolute and there are plenty of portraits that DESERVE to be in color.

Without starting a culture war in photography, I think that photos in color are important - emotion, tone and also the distinct color of a subjects skin are all things that can help ROUND a story, not take from it.

That’s it. That’s my point. Don’t want to argue this with the Monochrome Mobsters. They come for me as much as Fuji and Canon Fanboys.

Number Five: 35mm is the best all-around focal length.

This is my final hill to die on. I thank you all for making it here. Long story short, every 35mm feels so awkward to me. It’s never long enough and never wide enough. It feels like the ultimate compromise. It’s like wanting a Pepsi (it’s my favorite soda) and the waiter saying, “We have Coke… is that ok…”, when you know damn well it isn’t, Trevor.

The fact it’s discussed as a universal best all-around focal length kind of solidifies my point. You want a lens that is kinda close to the focal length you actually want? Try 35mm. Will it get enough information in the frame as 28mm? Hell no, but who cares about layering at such a time as this? Is it versatile enough to handle portraits like 50mm? Definitely not but if you get a f1.4 copy we can pretend it’s the same if you get close enough - just ignore the distortion.

I have used 35mm extensively - about 7 months last year was spent strictly with 35mm lenses. But it’s not ever 28mm. It will never be 50mm. Lets keep it real - it will never even be 40mm. It’s just 35mm. The plain, boring, average guy with a gut and twigs for arms who won the body building contest because the other contestants got stuck in traffic.

The best all-around lens is what you feel comfortable with. Find it, stick with it and don’t give into the 35mm propaganda which is obviously being peddled by big camera which always prices their 35mm lenses higher.

That is all.

A question I’ve been asked in excess over the last few months has been, “How do I go about getting jobs in photography/videography?”

Today, I decided to talk this topic out in hopes that it helps someone out there. More importantly, I hope this topic leads to a greater conversation about the how kindness can go a long way to secure your place in the phone and minds of editors and clients alike.

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I don’t mind this mindset - I think for many people it propels them to greatness. Their desire to create a consistent palette is what drives them to consistently create. For many people this obsession is the way. But what do you do if it doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do for you?

I think it happens to a lot of people; they one day get the urge to try something new. Maybe they want to try film or a new digital format. One day you would wake up and say, “I’m switching to Fujfilm from Canon.” However, a lot of times we suppress these urges and not because we are being financially responsible (you’re a photographer - you don’t know what that means). We suppress the urge because we have the thought of, “Yeah, but, my portfolio already looks like this so if I turn around to do that, it won’t be consistent.”

That’s a tough place to be. Whether it is camera system related or even photography genre related I believe that is a tough place to be. Instagram, for all the joy I gather from it, holds a lot of people by the neck. Portfolios, even though I believe we should all have one if only for ourselves, hold people by the throat. The idea that to create outside of what I have created will cost me my position in the MoMA or some other opportunity creeps in. “I can’t post this on my feed… I’m not too good at this and I’d waste time… I don’t know where to begin with this and I already know how to do this well…”, you get the idea. They say comparison is the thief of joy - yet, we don’t talk about comparison to self enough.

I’m burnt out. You get it. You know what if feels like. Don’t need to go into any detail - but if we must, allow the smooth voice of Matt Day to explain it to you by clicking here. One of the things that burnt me out was the fact that I haven’t made time to take the kind of photos I suck at taking. This isn’t some cool, deep thinking statement either - I suck at landscape and urban decay/topography type photos. I really struggle to understand the use of focal length and composition within them, I’ll admit it. However, that shit is soooo fucking cool, man. I see the work of Jason (Grainydays) or from Joseph Jimenez (@itsjobruh) and I’m always like, “I wanna do that shit.”, but that shit do be hard for me. I take a lot of photos and photos I love. I love my photojournalism assignments for local news publications or sports magazines. I love my documentary and portrait work as well. I can love those things, enjoy them, get excited to be there and still spend my day wishing I could take a road trip and take photos of rolling hills and old movie theaters. I spend a lot of my days doing exactly that.

The hangup with this for me is I don’t allow myself to because I think that time is money and money is needed to survive #capitalismisafailedconcept. For every day I take on the road to do these things I can be at home editing an assignment or on location working and getting paid. All the other free time I have I want to spend at home or at Bright Coffee in San Antonio.

The other hangup is I think to myself, “How will this ever help me financially?” The work I get is mostly commercial. The prints I sell are mostly people oriented. Exploring small towns and side roads for ONE photo seems like a waste of time to me - but that shit is really cool and I want to do it.

People often tell me to still give it a shot because versatility is important. This isn’t about versatility, though. I want to do it because it’s hella cool. That’s it. In the words of of Jacob Francois, “I just wanna make dope shit.” As you’ll see in the images in this blog, I will never shy away from a photo in the moment. Love to take photos of anything but it’s the intentional aspect of these new areas of photography that trip me up. The research, location scouting and mapping that I usually do for any other project seem so foreign to me. I’m unsure - I’m never unsure and that keeps me from getting into my flow.

Then there is the gear or the lack of. The questioning of if I have the right gear for these moments. Do I have the right lenses? Resolution? Format? What’s better between color or black and white? How wide should I go? It’s tough. You may be thinking this is dramatic and that’s totally fine (fuck you, though) but we’ve all had these thoughts about something at some time. It’s our human nature to be over prepared as can be, only to over think immediately after you start your drive.

I have a buddy named John H. and he’s who I aspire to be in these circumstances. The nicest guy and honestly, I don’t think I can be appreciative of him enough. It’s good to have in-person friends who let you vent, and I have a couple. John is willing to do whatever with his photography; not that he doesn’t care but John experiments and just goes for it. He’s willing to grow through the unknown bits of whatever he is trying just for the challenge of it. Shutter drag? Let’s go for it. Street photography? Sign me up. Portrait work? Lemme dabble. Trips to document foreign lands and landscapes? Might as well go for it now.

That shit is so cool to me. To not be held back and always having the mindset of, “Well, let’s give it a shot.” There is no second guessing just continuous desire to try something new. Not even a desire to try something new so he can say he’s mastered it - he’s just out here having fun and taking his art seriously but never himself. I really long to be like that. I can be like that. It just takes the willingness to start over.

Starting over is really what you have to do sometimes. You can still be the amazing documentarian or sports photographer you’ve always been. You don’t have to delete anything or rebrand in order to start new. It’s not even a mindset - it’s just a constant decision to not be burdened by your profile grid, portfolio or other photographer’s expectations of you. That’s all it really is in the end is just an expectation we feel we’ve created. Sometimes you have to just say, “Fuck it.”

You don’t owe anything to anyone and your creative flow doesn’t owe anything to anyone but you. So make it do your bidding. Portfolio critiques from a random Youtuber who is just copying the portfolio makeup from a lecture he heard online in 2020 be damned. Just start over. Suck at photography again. Burn that roll of film and get not one good frame. Learn from it. Waste time driving to a location or setting up lights for a portrait shoot that won’t pan out. Lean into it. Go all out for going all out again and get out of the comfort of being correct and in control.

Just try it. You’ll probably like it. You may never make a living off it. You may not get a great response from it. Oh, well. You won’t find out until you find out.

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I am someone who constantly processes things - for good or bad. Regardless of how my situation actually looks, and regardless if my current state of life is net positive, I constantly find myself analyzing and tearing things apart. I am in a constant state of analyzing my own relationships, my work, my looks, my regret, and my goals. Shutting off the mind is a difficult task and for some of us it is the one task we wish the most to be able to succeed in.

I am not a worried person. At times, I do grow anxious about things and I do catch myself making something out of nothing but I am not a worried person. I believe life comes and goes as it pleases. You can do your best to prepare and prevent but in the end there will be days where you have to, “charge it to the game”.

I am, however, someone who fears death by complacency. Fear is a strong word for some but sometimes you have to call it what it is. I fear I will stop growing, stop earning, stop enjoying, or stop living. I believe a lot of people deal with this and I am not unique. The lack of uniqueness is why I believe this post may resonate with some. I don’t want to do the same things over and over again. I don’t want to be complacent or feel as though life is passing me by.

Yet, it is better to be in a loop than living outside of who you are…

That saying about the grass being greener on the other side is one of my favorite quotes when read in the full context, with the original saying mentioning that the grass is greener where you water it and location doesn’t ever truly matter. I have to remind myself this is the same in my life. There are days where I do look at the other side of life - the plush lawn and golden hour light perfectly hitting the hill that I’m currently fixating on in my mind. The gear, the home, the vehicle, the job, the people all glowing in the last few strands of energy beaming from the sky. It is intoxicating.

The desire to respond to my daydreaming with an immediate action always seems like a great idea: If I just had this - everything would be okay and I could can become a new and improved me with it. I’ve told myself this lie before and I will have to be aware of when I do it again in the future. The days where I look at my life and ask, “What am I doing and what will I do next?”, will never stop. They will show their face and deserve a response. Some people think social media is to blame for this issue and honestly that’s a load of hogwash. I’m a man who for the longest time as a child used performance and success as a metric to define my worth. I attempted to cure this with religion but only found other’s just as sick as me using their rehabilitation of me to get their own fix. I attempted to cure this with relationships but realized quickly that relationships are hard to maintain when they’re transactional. I attempted to cure this with excelling in my field only to find out that a press badge and interaction with someone of celebrity doesn’t trigger an eternal source of satisfaction. So you go further and try harder; sometimes, to your detriment.

When you choosing to not love who and where you are, you being to resent who and where others are beside you.

I think we’ve all experienced jealousy or resentment whether or not we want to admit it. We have all seen someone else receive something and think they don’t deserve it or believe we deserve that more. In that area of jealousy and resentment lives ourselves outside the loop. The area where we tear down all that we’ve built and all that we love (all that makes you, you) because that grass looks so green. All the anger directed toward those around you was created by your disgust of all the success you’ve had that pales in comparison to the other side of the fence. You love your kids but what if you didn’t have them so young? You like your job but what if you had this job? You like your photos but what if you had their camera? You like how you look but what if you had their style? Over and over again, you tear down the loop that makes your life whole. You push and shape yourself to be what you think the better you would be. The you that is you can’t give you what you want this month. So you step outside of character or you step outside of passion. All because you’re leaning on the fence gawking at the other side and too selfish to turn around and see the beautiful field you planted behind you. Fucking turn around, dude.

The grass is green and the wildflowers are in full bloom. The path is cleared by your repeated steps and the sound of the birds and insects fills the hill with song. The light hits the trees you’ve planted years ago in a way that makes the leaves glow angelically. You grew this, damnit. One moment at a time. That loop that you loathe created the environment for your side of the fence to bloom. Every photo, every moment, every day waking up to go through the same routine built the hills that everyone in your life is resting on. The hills you all take comfort on.

We see consistency and the loop as a negative. How can I ever have what I want when I’m too busy enjoying what it is that I needed? How can I achieve my goals if I allow myself to enjoy the life I’ve made with the people I’ve made it with? It’s a weird place to be. We trick ourselves into thinking that’s growth. Thankfulness is great and all but I’m built different and need to change that thankful mindset to a grindset (or whatever finance bros say). It’s corny as hell.

The loop isn’t restrictive. Consistency doesn’t mean complacency. The loop allows for change and allows for accomplishments. It allows for the grass on your side of the fence to grow and thrive. The loop that you’re in will allow you to dream new dreams and strive for new goals. The loop is you. Who you’ve become over years of work and trial; and who you will grow to be in your consistency and pattern.

Be kind to your loop. You’re not stuck.

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