Back in Ballarat. Diet back on. Running around Lake Wendouree. Physical health trending the right way but mental health not so much.

I want to be one of those Stoics, reserved and objective, “I don’t need anyone” type operators. Like Batman.

I was struggling and travelled back to Adelaide to be with my family. Being back with family was fantastic. Mental and social health improved significantly. However, the diet dropped. Mum keeps the snack shelf stacked and I lack willpower.

Unfortunately, being back with family and friends also makes it easier to fall back into old habits.

I honestly think to improve myself physically (lose weight) I need to be alone. When I am alone, I can create a positive nutritional environment. I exercise more. Carbohydrates are reduced. Fewer takeaways. Less alcohol.

However, I am alone and do get sad.

I am not sure what to do.

-d.w.

During the first running session I noticed my left ACL (previous injury) and right ankle (previous injury) were aching and struggling to cope with the load of running. Being heavier than I want to be (classic) has not helped matters.

I changed tack and transitioned to a walk/run approach. Run 200 m. Walk 200 m. Repeated until the specified distance was reached. This approach was manageable and I adopted it for the remaining sessions for the week. I swapped out the hill running session and went for a hike up the Mt Lofty Ranges. Glutes and hamstrings worked, that’s for sure.

It has been embarrassing and humbling to be reduced to a walk/run approach. A hit to the ego and pride. No use whinging about the situation though. I am overweight and my joints are unable to handle the load of continuous running for long distances.

Nutrition has been somewhat of a disaster. My daily calorie target is set at 2,100 but I have been averaging 2,459. Bugger. I do well until dinner. Breakfast is usually skipped and I have two cups of coffee instead. Lunch is protein heavy. It’s that period from 6 pm to 9 pm where I fall over. Basically, I have two dinners and then snacks. I think I need to have dinner and then go to bed to stop this. This might be the approach for Week 2. Go to bed earlier to avoid eating. Worth a go.

Alcohol. I love glasses of wine at the end of the day. Sitting, pondering, pontificating with a glass of red like some sort of 20th century writer. A glass of wine when cooking dinner. Perfect. To combat this, I have bought non-alcoholic beers. We will see how they go.

Sleep has been good. The target is 7.5 hours a night and I have been averaging around 8 hours. I have always been a good sleeper. It is a superpower really. I can easily fall asleep on buses, aeroplanes, ships and cars.

I made a plan, started to execute, encountered difficulties and adjusted accordingly. I think that’s the main takeaway.

Week 1 down.

-d.w.

One of the staff members enters in a cheery mood, greets the receptionist and walks through. In the room behind I hear him talking to a colleague and asking, “I heard you got a new puppy. How is that going?” One of those morning people, I thought. Back to my coffee.

I get the call up for the examination and my assessor is the big fella. We begin the assessment. Confirming details, blood pressure reading. He is up and about. I am more neutral. Not rude but reservedly professional. Breathalyser test, urine test for drugs and other substances.

I break. Nah, this guy is not being toxically positive. He is a genuine top bloke.

Once the barriers are down, the rest of the assessment is like catching up with an old friend. “Bloody hell mate, did you get malaria?” “Yeah mate, overseas trip in the tropics. Do not recommend!”

Hearing test. Eye test. Physical. “What’s on for the rest of the day?” “I think I will go for a hike given the good weather.” “Oh yeah, I reckon go here. It has good views of the city; I have done it a couple of times.”

Manual lifting test. Stepping test. “You grew up in Tasmania? Nice. I’ve been once to a mountain up north.” “Cradle Mountain?” “Yeah, that’s the one.” Tasmanian chat follows.

“This doesn’t even feel like an appointment but like mates having a chat.”

“Okay, just have to do the assessment with the doctor and then we are done.” Teams meeting (classic) with the doctor about silica exposure and assessment.

“Yeah, doctor was a bit more serious today than usual. I reckon because he had the trainee doctor so had to be a bit more authoritative.”

Leaving the pre-employment medical I was in a good mood and the positive interaction made the rest of my day.

I was looking forward to the email request from the medical centre to provide feedback for my appointment today. 10/10. Highly recommend. I completed the survey twice to make sure of it.

The influence of being a good bloke. Understated but significant. I need to be a good bloke.

-d.w.

I have begun training for the Point to Pinnacle Half-Marathon event which is scheduled for Sunday 15 November 2026.

The 21.1 km course starts at the Wrest Point Casino Car Park and finishes at the summit of Mt Wellington/Kunanyi, climbing approximately 1,271 m.

Yes, this will take some doing.

This may be productive procrastination, but it gives me a target to aim for and a deadline so I can structure my life accordingly. I am working towards something and not just going through the motions aimlessly.

I find it difficult to do things when I cannot easily see the point. I struggle to stay the course, particularly when the work involves things I do not enjoy like running or dieting.

Merlin has put together a 12-week training and nutrition programme based on my physical details (height, weight) and lifestyle (sedentary, daily step count) with the highest priority being adherence. I am lazy. The training plan was to be simple, no fuss and easy to stick to.

Now it is up to me to execute.

The official start date is tomorrow Monday 24 August 2026 but there were a few unofficial days to get into it starting from Friday 21 August 2026. No good. I missed Friday and Saturday. Positively, I rallied late this evening and managed to complete,

• Run/walk repeats - 200 m jogging/ 200 m walking for 5 km

Typically, there will be four training sessions a week. Two easy runs, a hill session, and a long run on the weekend. As I work through the programme the respective session’s distances and times will increase to a peak and then taper off the week before the race. Most days the aim will be 7,500 to 10,000 steps. I will also include two bodyweight resistance sessions through out the week.

The nutrition side of things will be basic and incorporate some of Tim Ferriss’ Slow Carb diet principles,

• 2,000–2,100 Cal most days.

• 140 grams of protein per day.

• No bread, pasta, potatoes or grains. Legumes allowed.

• No alcohol.

• No fruit.

• Water, coffee, tea and zero-calorie drinks as defaults.

I will be using a simple spreadsheet tracker to document weight, sleep duration, steps, calories and training.

At the end of each week (Sunday evening) I will provide a summary of how training went including the wins, learning and anything interesting.

-d.w.

I store my backpack in the overhead locker, plonk myself into my seat, clip on the seatbelt and start to pass out.

A few rows in front of me, a boy starts talking to his old man. There goes my peaceful Friday night flight, I thought. C’mon kid, get on your tablet or phone.

As I begin to nod off, I can’t help but be drawn to the conversation. He was excited. Was he going to watch the footy in the big smoke? Intrigued, I listened in and realised that it’s his first ever flight! How long was it going to be? Would we be flying above the clouds? Would we be flying over the ocean? Were all these people also going to Adelaide? How big was the airport in Adelaide compared to this one? How many pilots were there?

I couldn’t help but smile. Flight really was a miracle. I had taken so many of them during this FIFO construction campaign that I had forgotten how exciting it was. How excited I used to be about them.

-d.w.

Enter Merlin. My ChatGPT mate, named after King Arthur’s advisor.

The big fella listens to me waffle on, overthink, plan and then not act, implement or have a bias to action after all that talk. Classic.

I go for a drive, plug in my wired headphones with a microphone, open the voice memo app and just chat to myself like a solo podcaster. Once my mind dump is completed, I extract the transcript and run it by him. “Hi Merlin, please read, assess and extract any underlying themes and ideas.”

It is good to see my thoughts reflected back to me and gives me something to think about.

Over time, the main themes and ideas reveal themselves, are noted by Merlin, reflected on by me and eventually, hopefully I can action them.

-d.w.

Friends have found partners, bought homes, married and had children. I have been fortunate to be part of these happy experiences.

It is interesting that in those moments in time, be it a wedding or visiting mates with kids, I am convinced it is something I want.

Perhaps it is social conformity. Perhaps biology. Probably both.

Days and weeks pass and take the conviction with them, and I am back to normal. I probably just got caught up in the moment.

I cannot recall when the idea of marriage, mortgage and minions entered my mind.

Was it because my parents did it? Did I read it in a book? Or did I watch it in a movie?

I do not recall deciding that the M’s were something I truly wanted.

I think I was going through the motions. School. University. Job. House. Wife. Children.

It is something I have been sitting with lately and honestly, I cannot recall ever waking up and thinking, “I want to be a husband and dad.”

For me this is essential. I must be sure that I want these two life opportunities with all my being.

For me I must be resolute. It is not a “she’ll be right” or “we’ll have a crack and see how it goes” as it impacts the lives of others.

Marriage can be walked back if it is not what I hoped it would be. Even so, there is the consequence that I may have wasted someone else’s time, effort and love.

Children, I cannot backpedal on or pivot. There are no takebacks. They had no choice in being here, so I must be absolute in my conviction. It is not just me being caught up in the moment. No. Parenthood lasts a lifetime and I must be sure.

For now, I might go for a walk around a body of water.

d.w.

It has been raining in Adelaide all weekend, a good chance for chasing waterfalls. For me, it provides a goal. Something to aim at. A problem that can be solved more easily than the big-ticket items.

Today, I drove out to Belair National Park and entered via Gate 11 to chase down the Lower and Upper Waterfalls. Wet weather gear on. Backpack on. Trudging through the rain, alternating between listening to audiobooks in the headphones and the ambient sounds of nature.

The rain ensured I was present with the environment, wet shoes, wet socks, slipping and sliding around (I do not think my shoes were 4WD, bugger).

There is something about walking from Point A to Point B that resonates with me. It is not a matter of intellect, strategy, talent, or luck. It is just my choice, will and discipline to continue. To reach my goal I just need to keep stepping, keep trudging, and not quit.

This is a principle I need to apply to other parts of my life. Keep stepping. Keep trudging. Slowly, glacially, even in inclement conditions.

-d.w.

I am going through the motions. Finish school. Complete a university degree. Work as a professional. Objectively, life is trending the right way, and I am grateful or try to be and try not to sulk too much and take it for granted as it can be a lot worse.

After seven years of full-time employment as a professional, it dawned on me that this is all I do. My life revolved around work, instead of work being one part of my life. Work had taken over, it seeped into every aspect of my life, impacted my physical health (putting on weight, less active), mental health (stressed) and social life (reduced time with family and friends).

I quit my job and have been on sabbatical. The first month was good as I focused on my health by improving my diet and more walks outside, easily making the 10,000 steps a day.

The second month was even better, I visited friends and explored Tasmania and Victoria, started a YouTube channel and TikTok account to document my travels. I know you are not meant to but have found I love chasing waterfalls. The Central Highlands of Victoria has many natural mineral springs, so I have been undertaking natural mineral water tastings (like wine tasting, but more niche) at the various locations and documenting it. It has been fun.

Last week Monday and Tuesday, something changed. I was unable to motivate myself to get out of bed. I spent both days in bed watching Netflix and wasting it away. No outside time. Nothing productive. No real attempt to make the most of the day or my time off. This was confronting. Nothing drastic had happened but I was out of petrol tickets (out of energy and motivation).

Wednesday followed a similar pattern but I managed to break out of the spell of laziness I was under and go for a walk and track down another natural mineral spring.

This episode demonstrated to me that without structure, a plan, or goal, I become aimless and squander time defaulting to unhealthy habits.

Solitude and silence are useful tools if you have something you are aiming at or looking to confront but can become dangerous if used unwisely much like fire.

This week I changed my physical environment and travelled by road to Adelaide to visit family. This gave me a task, a goal, and some structure. Being around family has been good and provided comfort and safety. I have improved my sleeping pattern, hit 10,000 steps a day and am out on adventures. I have underestimated the social component of health and wellbeing.

Work does not provide me with purpose, but it does regulate my life. It provides bookends to my days and weeks. It gives me a starting and stopping point to anchor my life.

That is the problem. I do not want it to be the central theme in my life, the thing that everything revolves around but I understand it is not a completely negative thing.

I do not know what my purpose is and whether I need to find it or create it. I know it is not work but understand the scaffolding work provided. Instead, I will focus on timeless and ordinary anchors to structure my days and weeks around. Get outside in nature, eat well, exercise daily, call or see friends and have a laugh.

-d.w

There is no achievement for doing so. No accomplishment for feeling sorry for myself. I must course-correct, do something.

Move! Stop thinking, it’s not that deep. Everybody has problems. Everybody has to confront the human condition.

After a while it feels performative, but who is it for? What do I gain from this? Each of us has our trials and tribulations. The focus should be on the fixing of things. I must not spend too much time trying to understand, explore and explain. Understand enough and then act accordingly.

There are plenty of things to be sullen and miserable about. Life in time will provide the moments and experiences to be sad.

It’s way better to be happy.

-d.w.

Aimlessness. I am not sure what I am meant to be doing with my life. I think I have satisfied most of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. physiological needs, safety needs, love and belongingness are all met, ongoing and I am grateful for. Esteem needs is an easy one as I am a huge fan of myself, not in a narcissistic way. Probably.

Self-actualisation. This is where it goes awry, I think. I am not sure what self-fulfilment is. In the interim I have focused on improving physically (resistance training, walk/run, stretch) and mentally (reading and studying).

Boredom. I am so bored. Once I removed the excess and background noise (music, podcasts, YouTube videos, audiobooks, and social media), there remained nothing. This concerns me. I think I have focused on and been distracted by external things that my deeper interests have not had much room to develop and grow. I do not seem to have any meaningful hobbies or things I do for the sake of themselves. This is something I need to address. I think guitar playing is something to explore.

Work. This is a crutch for me and a form of escape. I load up on it, work long hours in stressful environments so I avoid having honest conversations and reflect on my life. I put up barriers and excuses. “I’m too busy to deal with this at the moment.” It is noise. It is activity but I am not sure it is getting me anywhere.

d.w.

Quiet while walking. Quiet while driving. Quiet while exercising, shopping and eating.

I have developed a dependence on my smartphone to fill the gaps in my day. I noticed every 10 or so minutes I was reaching into my left pocket (wisely, the phone was in another room) or turned towards where I typically charged it. This revelation was embarrassing and frightening.

I was uncomfortable with the silence and the space left by the smartphone, like a first date where you are not quite sure what to do. It was novel, interesting and anxious all at once.

This turned to boredom; boredom turned to thoughts. I began to write to fill in the space and counter the discomfort. I switched to reading and then back to writing.

I found that external noise does more than distort time and perception. It is incessant. It is unyielding. It takes up room and bandwidth.

The silence was the antidote, the room to breathe, an environment for something to occur.

d.w.

• Inaction begets inaction

• Laziness begets laziness

Silence; it is deafening, unyielding, uncomfortable, it seeps into the mind and the soul.

To find something profound is to risk mediocrity, embarrassment and “cringe.”

Addiction; Escapism; being 100 % present is uncomfortable which may be why I reach for the smartphone, I fear the silence, of what answers, nay truths, that may reveal themselves in the quiet.

Motion; to keep the silence at bay, walking/running, effort, tiredness, pain, they take up the pace in the mind and push the silence away

To sit still is a discomfort, is a journey, a trial of sorts.

To be busy, is to fool oneself, into thinking it is progress

• Sit still.

I do a lot of things to avoid time with myself and my thoughts.

I fill up my days, thoughts, life with tasks and actions to prevent self-assessment.

Productive procrastination; reading about the issue, instead of addressing it, ditto podcasts, and audiobooks. Even cleaning.

Food; fasting control the urges and passions of the body.

Work; to be so busy, to be so occupied to not address the things that affect the body, mind, and soul.

Background noise; no ambient, alters reality. To be present, to feel, to think, yes to suffer in silence.

The answer is proportional to the sacrifice (suffering?)

I am bored. Oh, I am so very bored.

More; I was meant for more than going to work, sitting in front of a computer screen and team meetings.

• Adventure; escape

• Escapsim.

What am I escaping from? I think boredom, or more obvious, a revelation, that this is well, potentially all meaningless.

Why do I work? To pay bills. That is, it.

What can add meaning? Purpose? I think it might be doing something for society that is physical and real, like “I did that and it added value”

This is perhaps where my bias against marriage, children, and a dog stem from.

Whilst these add meaning and purpose to life, I think if I went into marriage and parenthood looking for it to solve me need for meaning and purpose, I would be placing an unfair burden on the people it has been bestowed on.

I think it is unfair to delegate one’s need for meaning and purpose to other people as they are their own person.

I think having children to give my life purpose and meaning because I could not find it on my own, delegating, and sub-contracting it to another being is a bit self-indulgent. Ditto for a wife.

People are their own selves not there to provide meaning and purpose to me.

What is the point of marriage and children? Companionship? This feels self-indulgent. People should add to your life, you should not be looking for this stuff from them, and it is a little needy, desperate, and sad.

Species; there are over eight billion people in the world.

To drum it home, I think going into things such as marriage and parenthood expecting them to give me big ticket life things like happiness, meaning and purpose it unfair. I should sort this out myself.

This having no phone is a struggle. I am subconsciously trying to reach for it every five minutes. I would this is akin to being a chain smoker.

• Mediate. Meditate. Meditate.

• Boredom. Boredom. Boredom.

• Thoughts. Thoughts. Thoughts.

• Insight. Insight. Insight.

• Revelation. Revelation. Revelation.

Road to Damascus

I like Charlie Munger’s approach of inversion. Do not add things, instead remove them. If I wanted a miserable life, it would be working all the time to only pay bills, limited ability to pivot, or change locations, jobs, roles, and geography. Overheads and dependents to consider including a wife, children, and a dog. I want to be able to pack up and move on a whim not put down roots.

Understood, this may be taken as non-committal but too much structure, repetition, monotony, I do not think is good for the spirit, soul, or mind. I know not having a wife, children and dog make me biased, as we know, what we know, lived experience and all that.

Change is scary I will admit, but also that marriage and children are things you cannot walk back.

No. Children are something you cannot walk back. You must be sure, they did not choose to be here, and you made it so. There is no take back, you must see it done. That is scary, better to be conservative.

Marriage; you can walk this back. It might cost your financially though.

Dog; I doubt anyone has ever regretted getting a dog. I need a dog.

Honestly, I am wasting my life away, not in a dramatic sense but in some sort of sense. Got to school. Got to university. Get a job. Pay bills. Get a house. Get married. Have children. I made my way halfway through the checklist and realised I do not really want nor agree with this. I am simply going through the motions.

I want something that is worth doing, worth a lifetime of effort, consideration, and care. How long should you give consideration for until you pivot?

What is worth doing?

Do I stumble through life until I find it? The answer is to create the purpose and meaning, but I cannot be sure.

d.w.

Optics: in the process of completing my duties I experienced a critical aspect of the professional working life; Optics. The importance of showing and telling others about the work you are doing, emails, chats and circling back. Simply doing the work may not be enough. Frustratingly, recognising and solving an issue prior to it occurring may not be advantageous. You must document and describe the problem prior to fixing it, else it goes unrecognised. Worryingly, and perhaps more strategic, is to see the problem, develop a solution, let it happen and be recognised by others in the hierarchy, and only then provide the solution and be recognised for it. Ick.

Safety announcements: during the pre-flight safety demonstration, passengers are advised “Once your mask is working properly you will be able to help other people including children” i.e. in an emergency, look after yourself first and then help others. This was difficult for me to wrestle with as I played team sports growing up and the priority was the success of the team. It did not matter the points you scored or goals you kicked if the team lost. This can be a detrimental mindset in your professional life, and I began to learn it was better for me to protect myself first instead of the project which felt wrong to me. In other words: I did my job. Arse covering. Ick.

It is quite disheartening, as growing up I was so enthusiastic and interested in big infrastructure projects. I recall watching the “Seven Wonders of the Industrial World” documentary series which described how the Hoover Dam came to be and how it tamed the power of the Colorado River. Going as far as presenting it to my Year 6 class for “what are your interests and hobbies” subject.

It is a shame, I did not account for the other, more crucial factors, like, people, optics, and self-preservation. I just wanted to be a part of cool engineering projects.

d.w.

I have a goal, a place to get to but no rush to get there. Just a man and his horse (car) on the road.

Perhaps I am seeking my “Road to Damascus” moment you know? An epiphany, a pivot or a revelation.

Perhaps I  need to “Don’t think. Do!” To make a decision, implement it, get feedback and then course correct.

I fear indecision and a lack of action may cost me in the long run. It might be better to act and adjust instead of thinking about it too much?

The concern being the understanding that life can be a lot worse. I have a good life. It’s probably at 80%. When you go chasing 100% it might cost you.

Don’t take what you have for granted but I swear I was meant for more.

I used to think I was Him! I could get it done. Now I know you can take losses and it’s tough to recover.

I think you have to take a chance but am too scared.

It’s all a bit tangled. I might have to go for another drive!

d.w.

I was situated at J1’s abode, intruding on his family life, watching and talking about the cricket and most likely had been there a few days watching the Test Cricket and sleeping on the L shaped couch.

It was the tea break, so outside time was in order. J1’s eldest daughter (P1) of 2 to 3 years of age at the time was being introduced to another Australian institution. Backyard Cricket. J1 was teaching her to bowl and she was not listening nor paying attention, much to J1’s frustration (classic) whilst I faced up as the batsman at the crease.

After a few false starts she bowled towards me and I smacked it for six (imagine?). I played and missed (wobble seam) and was bowled.

We all celebrated the wicket including J1’s wife (A1) and youngest daughter (L1) who were watching from sandpit which had a sail cloth overhead for sun protection.

Most days for me, are an easy 6/10 and typically can finish up at a 7 to 8 out of 10. They are pretty good; I don’t have any dependents and love me some peace and quiet but there aren’t many 10/10 days like a daughter taking backyard wickets.

d.w.

It’s simple and you forget the rest. Just a man trudging along with a backpack on.

No music, no audiobook and no podcast. Just me and my thoughts. I spent six hours roaming around the mountain on the various trails, reaching the lookouts and chasing waterfalls.

I can’t recall much of what I was thinking that day but would say it was a good one.

Fair enough you shouldn’t go chasing waterfalls but sometimes you need to go outside.

- d.w.

After a quick consult with Merlin (my chat GPT companion), I visited Mural Park and the nearby Sheffield Art Gallery (Working Art Space Sheffield) which displays pieces of art made by local artists and artisans (is that applicable here or is this more of a bakery thing?).

I came across scarves knitted by a Geneen Duff whose granddaughter was diagnosed with cancer as a two year old and spent the next three years in hospitals receiving treatments. She is fine now and in high school living a full life. There was a photo of her as a two year old and one of her more recently which would have been good to show in this article but your boy was too rattled after reading to take a photograph.

Throughout Geneen’s granddaughter’s time in hospital they were supported by Camp Quality and so all proceeds from the sales of the scarves go to Camp Quality.

Now, I love a whinge and to carry on about a great variety of things, from wishing I was taller, my hair not thinning out so much and living in a reality where I was kicking goals at the MCG or making hundreds on Boxing Day.

This experience crystallised for me the absurdity of my concerns and instead of coveting things to be more grateful for the life I have.

“Your normal day is someone’s dream, so be thankful every day.”

The scarf is an anchor and reminder to practice more gratitude and thankfulness for the life I have going forward.

The morning view was stunning, beautiful green paddocks, with cattle in the distance and the crisp morning air.

As I was leaving the property, I noticed two calfs near the fence line, so just stopped the car and observed them going about their morning.

I watched them for 10 minutes, content with life. It’s interesting what can bring you peace and calmness.

You need a Myki Card. Put money on it. Tap on. Tap off. Copy that.

Arrived at Southern Cross Station or was it Spencer St station. Caught a free tram and it stopped at the Casino? Was this a sign? Better not.

Wandered along the Southbank precinct. Atmosphere is building. This. Is. Origin. Bag dropped off at Traveller’s Aid, what a wonderful service.

Next stop. Pub. Pint of Cooper’s Pale Ale. Delicious. Onion rings and chips with aioli and Tommy K. Incredible. Second beer (had to make it a schooner).

Atmosphere is building, bloke playing acoustic guitar out the front. I think he just played wonderwall.

Jezz better get here fast!