And so, in ode to the flavour and to my maternal grandmother, who gave warm hugs, served her special soup on demand (chicken cup-a-soup) and would always allow me to have as many cherry lollies from the sweet shop as I wanted, here is my cocktail recipe for Nana Rose.

Nana Rose - Serves 2

Ingredients & Utensils

• 10-20ml Rose Syrup

• 50ml Gin (or vodka if you prefer)*

• Prosecco, chilled, obviously

• Fentiman’s Rose Lemonade, chilled**

• Lemon slices (Optional)

• Rose petals, dried or fresh (Optional, for decor)

• Ice, cubed

• Martini glasses***

*If you have roses in your garden, you can also make your own rose gin or vodka by washing the leaves and then leaving these in a bottle of booze for a few weeks. The booze will pick up the flavour and the colour and is worth it, either to have with this cocktail or to sip over some ice.

**You can use a light lemonade or tonic and increase the amount of rose syrup you use, but it won’t be the same. The Fentimans is worth it.

*** You can also use wine glasses or gin goblets and add more prosecco to the recipe if you would prefer for a breath of rose, rather than it being the dominant flavour.

Method

You don’t need a cocktail shaker for this, stirring in the glass will work just fine. If you’re feeling extra fancy, you can also chill the glasses ahead of time.

• Add 2-3 ice cubes and the gin to the glass, followed by the rose syrup and gently stir.

• Top up the glass with prosecco until it is about 2/3 full, followed by the rose lemonade, almost to the top. *

• You can decorate with some lemon slices on the side or a couple of dried rose buds or by delicately placing a single rose petal in the middle of the glass.

*If you need something to cut through the sweetness, you can also gently squeeze a lemon wedge into the mix. It’s not necessary but more of a preference thing.

I recommend drinking this either at the beginning of spring or end of summer, with seasonal fruits, meringues and your favourite vanilla or lemon cakes. Sitting in the garden, with your best friends, pretending that you are all ladies of leisure and none of you have to go to work the following week and talk about system updates and Q4 budgets.

Is a car crash in slow motion

We could scream to jump on the brakes

And you’d accelerate.

Watching the decisions,

Is an accident waiting to happen

You lay your own trip cord

Surprised that you still fall.

What can you do?

When a grown person acts a fool?

You care for them

But the more you help

The more they refuse.

Watching the decisions you make

Is like you don’t want to survive

Actively avoiding what brings you joy

Before you could even consider to thrive.

Watching the decisions you make

Is a car crash in slow motion

We could scream to jump on the breaks

And you’d accelerate.

The weather is changing

Our world is crumbling

The walls we built, are caving in

But there will be sunny days again.

Our walls will sparkle new

The fields will be green

We’ll remember the storm

Our minds feeling shiny and clean.

And when the storm comes round again

We’ll be better prepared

Hunker down, put on a record

Pour some of the good wine.

At the end of the day

When we turn off the light

Through storms and shine

We’re going to sleep

With each other by our sides

Share

But Love is what I got

It turned out well,

Pretty damn well

7 years later

And we’re choosing a cot.

I was inspired to write these lyrics/poem after watching this TikTok from Harley Sulé earlier this year, drawing further inspiration from my own relationships and the relationships of those around me. Have a listen to his version first. I think there is space for the song to become a conversational song, telling both sides of a story where both parties in a couple are invested in working together to be their best for each other.

@harley.sul5“What Do You Need?” HAPPY NEW YEAR! Loved writing this one so much. Thanks for all the love in 2025, bring on ‘26. Hx ❤️

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What I really need is

You and me

A day spent playing in the sea

We can even bring company

A bouquet from Tesco

Is ok by me

Because you know that I love their peonies

I don’t need those first class flights

Although they won’t hurt

I just want you when it matters

Holding me tight

What I really really need

Is that you do the work

And you go to therapy

So we can spend our lives

Together, equally

Don’t make loving you harder for me

That’s what I need

I want to endure the weather

Hike a mountain

Baby you and me

Diamonds and pearls

Are not my style

Lay them with the queen

We can start our own kind of royalty

Leave a comment

It’s the question that I have been asked most. I think that is probably the same experience for most pregnant women. I have definitely asked it of anyone I have ever known that has been pregnant. Honestly, I find it so fascinating. I was looking forward to the idea of having peculiar cravings because I get a genuine kick out of trying new food combinations but I have been underwhelmed by my desires. No pickle and chocolate combinations in my kitchen….yet.

In my first trimester, I couldn’t stomach anything with too much flavour. I ate a lot of potatoes and bread during this time. Thankfully, I wasn’t put off by avocado or bananas and there were some weeks that they were my only nutritional sources. However, I did have a regular craving for cucumber, specifically with salt, pepper and lemon juice. On many days during the first trimester trenches, I could be found nibbling on chocolate as it was one of the only things that kept the nausea away.

Another craving that I have had since the beginning and has never been satiated is raw salmon. It’s been the one banned pregnancy item that I have allowed myself to eat, on occasion and only from trusted sources. If it was not on the banned list, I would be eating a whole raw salmon every day of this pregnancy. Even the occasional sushi treat has not been enough to keep this craving away.

But for the most part, once I indulged in a craving, I would be over it immediately afterwards. Here is a list of some of those as well as some that made regular appearances:

• American style hot dogs. (It had to have american mustard and be made with frankfurter sausages and crispy onions in a brioche bun. I usually hate frankfurter sausages)

• Donner Kebab (I never brought myself to indulge in this one but I did get a chicken kebab to appease it)

• Tinned pineapple (had to be tinned)

• Tinned peaches (I actually indulged in this one quite frequently over winter. However, I haven’t eaten one since accidentally leaving the last slice to ferment and not realising until I had bitten down into the fizz. Bleugh.)

• Processed Mexican Nacho cheese dip (This craving was satisfied within 5 chip dips. At which point, it promptly became disgusting and the thought of it made me want to gag).

• American cheese slices.

• Cheap chocolate treats, like processed chocolate pudding with whipped cream on top.

• Choccy milk (Seemingly, this had to be Nesquik or Alpro. My husband bought me another brand and it tasted like nail varnish remover.)

• Cheesy beans on toast (this one made a regular appearance)

• Lemon or Orange Ice Lollies (This one particularly stands out to me because I was craving them during the rainy depths of winter and they would be my treat to myself enroute to hospital visits. Umbrella in one hand, ice lolly in the other).

• Dry toast (those were particularly dark days)

• Skin on mash with lots of salt and pepper. Strictly no butter, oil or milk.

• Homemade popcorn with lots of salt and pepper.

• Oven chips with ketchup

• Takeout chips with cheap vinegary ketchup

• Ice cream cones with no ice cream (This one was only satiated after I finished a whole box of cones).

• Beer (I usually hate beer, but I woke up in the middle of the night obsessed with the thought of it. Eventually, I had an alcohol free one but it tasted too much like the real thing and I couldn’t finish it).

Because I mostly grew up in the UK, I also had a list of some very UK specific cravings, not all of which I have been able to satisfy. A special shout out to my Divine Women girlfriends for gifting a lot of this list to me during our Cotswold stay. The odd thing about a lot of these, is whilst I love all of them, I didn’t eat any of these all that often when I used to live there;

• Jacket potato (with either cheese, cheesy beans, coleslaw or chilli con carne)

• Greggs sausage roll

• Greggs Steak bake (When I landed in Manchester to visit my best friend, Greggs was our first stop)

• Parsnips (The only way I have been able to get parsnips in Italy is to find them in a bag of mixed vegetable crisps from Tiger)

• McDonalds Apple Pie

• Frickles

• Mini Sausage Rolls

• Cocktail Sausages

• Sainsburys All butter croissants

• Sainsbury’s Chewy Oat and Raison Cookies (I managed to get these when I was in the UK and was gutted to find that they tasted too much like baking powder)

• Sainsbury’s White and Milk Choc Chip Cookies

• Sainsbury’s three cheese coleslaw (I ate this straight out the tub during my visit)

• Hash Browns

• Fairy Cakes

• Lunchables

• Ham and Cheddar Sandwich - had to be from a supermarket meal deal

• Salt & Vinegar dunkables

• Bacon buttie with brown sauce

• Chicken and Mushroom Pukka pie

• Chicken & Mushroom pot noodle (my best friend sent a load of these to me in the post and I sobbed when I opened up the parcel)

• Skips

• Rocket Lolly

• McCoys crisps - literally any flavour

• Yazoo

• Banana and Choco Flakes Muller Corner

• Cupasoup

• Jelly (my mother in law bought me some when she visited and it made my heart sing)

• An honourable mention - Crispy Wotsits. (My best friend sent them in a care package and for any South African readers out there who live in the UK, these are the closest thing to South African Nik Naks I have ever tasted. For the British readers, the UK Nik Naks are not the same, despite their shape)

Reading through this list now, I am wondering if my body really needs salt and sugar.

Despite the specificity of these lists, I am not sure they can be called cravings. Perhaps ‘hankerings’ is a better term. I have managed to get by without satiating a lot of them and the need for them hasn’t felt overwhelming or particularly demanding. A lot of them have been routed in comfort and/or nostalgia.

However, the aversions have been STRONG.

Ironically, having been diagnosed with anaemia, the idea of eating red meat (and most other meats) was vile to me. Once I ate it, I could be OK but the thought of it was so much worse than the reality of it and it was difficult to navigate the mind fuck on that one. My husband and I recently went out for a steak dinner and the variety of steak started to make me feel queasy. I ordered a caesar salad in the end.

On Christmas Day, I had started off the day feeling good and excited to eat everything I had prepared, specifically the roasted fennel. I could only stomach the yorkshire puddings and roasted potato and some sweet mini bread rolls with butter.

There have been nights where my husband would caringly offer to make a meal or order takeout and all his suggestions would make me gag. I fancied some kiwi one day and immediately thought it was the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted when I bit into it. Pregnancy is cruel like that.

But, my strongest and most consistent aversion has been heat. Hot drinks and hot food to be exact. I have to wait for every hot meal to cool down to room temperature and I’ve been drinking iced coffee since winter. The thought of piping hot ramen coming into contact with my lips right now makes me want to gag. The thought of tepid, luke warm ramen…heaven. And it’s a hard pass on a cup of tea. On the flip side, I recently thought about how nice ice chips would be and I think that is becoming a craving. That may be the heat but also the more I think about them, the more I want them.

I need to get some ice chips pronto.

These have been some of the most common questions I have been asked since announcing that I’m pregnant. There have been others, but I won’t go into these, because I think the internet already has plenty of opinions and stories relating to these (breastfeeding, natural births, pain relief etc). And whilst I would happily answer these in person and have had conversations with my friends multiple times over on the topics, I don’t care to particularly share on these topics online because I think it all comes down to personal experience and preference and culture. What is right for me may be what is wrong for someone else and I have no intention to sway a person either way. And honestly, pregnancy is overwhelming as it is. I don’t want to contribute to the noise out there.

So first things first - Will I give birth in Italy or the UK?

If you’ve been reading about all my pregnancy thoughts and you have also read any of the maternity reports from the UK, then you’d understand that my answer is absolutely going to be Italy.

This question bugged me a bit for a couple of reasons that boil down to one answer: Ultimately, I don’t want to be away from my home or my husband or our cat during, arguably, one of life’s biggest changes. Italy is now my home and I haven’t lived in the UK for over 5 years. And, it’s really not practical to do so. I would have to fly to the UK at least one month before I am due and then stay for at least another 2 weeks before I could return home. And that’s assuming that there are no complications. I don’t want to have to be dealing with passports and fit to fly certificates when I am freshly postpartum.

It’s a no-brainer for me that I would give birth in Italy. This is where we have chosen to build our family and so it is where our boy’s life will start. I have also been blown away by the quality of maternity care that I have received here. And if I compared it to the quality of maternity care in Sussex, where I used to live, there isn’t a comparison to be had. I recognise I am very fortunate to have that choice.

Will your son have an Italian or British name?

I’m not about to tell the internet the name we chose for our baby boy. Firstly, he hasn’t arrived yet and we may change our mind when he gets here. Secondly, identity fraud following social media posts is easy pickings for those pesky little data thieves and I’m not about to make our boy’s life harder than it needs to be before he even has to pay taxes. Thirdly, having grown up with the wild west of the internet and seeing it grow into what it is today, my husband and I have made the conscious decision to keep his presence offline until he is at an age where he can choose it for himself. I’m hoping the internet will be a safer, kinder place by then.

That said, I will share that the name we chose has significance to us and is a name that has been on our list since we created it. Our choice has also been shaped by our own experiences with foreign names.

My husband has an Italian name that was anglicised to make it easier for others to pronounce…even though his name really isn’t that difficult. And I grew up with having to correct people regularly on the pronunciation of my name. Despite saying ‘Chantée’ (Yes, it is a french word and No I’m not French), many people would still call me Chantelle or Shanae or Chanelle or, on occasion, Charlie. Or for the racists who thought they were safe to be racist because I am white, and expose themselves by calling me Shanty Town. I won’t even start on my very long surname.

It really isn’t that hard for anyone to learn to pronounce a name correctly. If people can learn to reference Tchaikovsky, they can learn other foreign names.

We didn’t want the same experience for our son, to have to take on the mental load of passive (and blatant) xenophobia and also always having to explain their name when they meet someone new, so we chose a name that doesn’t change between Italian and English, even if it may sound slightly different depending on a person’s accent. But the name also has a deeper meaning pertaining to what we wish for him.

Will he be raised speaking Italian, English or both?

This was an easy decision for us to make. We will speak English at home and Italian when we leave the house so that he is regularly exposed to both. I am not yet fluent in Italian and so there are times when there will be exceptions to this rule, but generally speaking, this will also help me to improve. My husband is a polyglot and therefore, I won’t be surprised if our son becomes one too.

Now, this may be the hormones, but since becoming pregnant, I have felt a level of tranquility that I have not felt since I was a child running through fields and climbing trees. (With the exception of mild rage towards some men who, let’s be honest, probably deserve the wrath of a pregnant woman.)

And in feeling this sense of calm, I have let go of the sense of urgency that often came with my personal version of Type A. The feeling that every item on every list needed to be checked off has simply been let go.

Prior to pregnancy, I know that I would have wanted everything on my Pre-Birth To Do List to have been complete before I got to the 6 month mark, but here I am writing this, past that milestone, knowing that I still haven’t gotten round to bleaching every crevice of our bathroom. And that is WITH the nesting urge coming and going over the past couple of months. It does help that we tend to keep a relatively clean and tidy house already.

All that said, when the nesting urge first did come in a couple of months ago, unsurprisingly, it materialised first in the kitchen. Because of this, I wanted to share the lists I’ve created, what is left to do and what I have completed.

A tip for expectant parents that isn’t particularly groundbreaking but may help with the mental load - If food prepping multiple meals en-masse seems intimidating, as and when you make your favourite meals before birth, double or triple up on the portion sizes and put the extras into your freezer.

Spending a whole day in the kitchen making multiple meals, is my kind of heaven but I haven’t had the energy to commit to that kind of labour in my pregnancy and so I split it over a few days here and there. Some of the food, such as the cookie mixture, is so easy to throw together in 10-15 minutes that it was easy to knock these out of the park when I randomly had time without committing to a full days worth of work.

Completed

• 6 X Portions of Lasagne

• 6 X Homemade Pizzas (Mix of Margherita and Fungi)

• 6 X Portions of Cottage Pie

• 8 X Portions of Tomato Soup

• 2 X Butter Bean Broth (One of my favourite recipes from my best friend)

• 4 X Oat Banana Smoothies

• 4 X Strawberry Protein Smoothies with Spinach and Banana

• Chewy Oat Cookies

• Chocolate Chip Cookies

• Lemon Blueberry Sponge Cake

• Homemade Bounty Bar Bites

To Prep

• Prep Feijoada (this is entirely dependent on whether or not I can stand being behind a hob all day in the middle of a heatwave)

• Prep Frozen Date, Peanut Butter and Chocolate Snacks (I’ve actually got all the ingredients, bar the mejdools ready to go for this one)

• Avo Chocolate Breakfast Pudding (Realistically, I think this one will have to wait postpartum unless I am somehow miraculously able to get the ingredients and then make it whilst in labour)

• Granola (I do actually already have some but I just don’t like the last batch I made)

• Cornflake and Marshmallow Bites

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I mentioned in one of my recent pregnancy journey posts that I also had some food lists ready for my husband for the postpartum period. (Forever grateful that my husband isn’t a piece of shit and is excited to support me and our baby through the trenches but these lists will help him from reading my mind when I am in the middle of that hormone crash and can’t communicate).

Salad Formula

Pick and Choose from any of the below to build the base, protein, texture and dressing.

Base - Choose 1-3

• Gem Lettuce

• Spinach

• Lambs ear Lettuce

• Mixed Lettuce

• Kale

• Wild Rice

• Arborio Rice

Protein - Choose 1-3

• Prawns

• Smoked Salmon

• Tinned Tuna

• Grilled Steak

• Feta

• Cannellini Beans

• Butter Beans

• Boiled Egg

• Falafel

• Green Lentils

Textures - Choose 1-3

• Pumpkin Seeds

• Sesame Seeds

• Pistachio

• Cashew

• Peanuts

• Hummus

• Pitta Bread

• Crispy Onions

Fats - Choose 1

• Avocado

• Mozarella

Fruit & Veg - As many as your heart desires

• Pineapple

• Grapes

• Tomatoes

• Cucumber

• Red Onion

• Artichoke Hearts

• Apple

• Pickle

• Capers

• Olives

Dressings

Throw one or two of each ingredient from each category into a jar, shake and store in the fridge ready to dress a fresh salad.

• Extra Virgin Olive Oil

• Flavours - Choose 1-3

  • Crushed Garlic

  • Paprika

  • Rosemary

  • Oregano

  • Fresh Basil

  • Dijon Mustard

  • Dried Coriander

  • Dried Cumin

• Acid

  • Lemon Juice

  • Apple Cider Vinegar

  • Balsamic Vinegar

  • Juice of Pickles/Capers

• Fat

  • Yoghurt

  • Cream Cheese

  • Mayonnaise

  • Honey or Syrup

Preferred Snacks, Drinks and Meals

• Drinks

  • Virgin Mojito

  • Chocolate Milk

  • Strawberry Milk

  • Caffeine Free Iced Coffee

  • Blue Powerade

  • Lemon Soda

• Snacks

  • Melon (all types)

  • Blueberries

  • Strawberries

  • Nectarines

  • Flat white Peaches

  • Chips and Fresh Guac

  • Babybel

  • Yoghurts (especially the ones with chocolate corners)

  • Vegetable sticks & Hummus

  • MnMs (Stored in the fridge)

  • Biltong

• Sandwiches

  • Tuna, mayo & sweetcorn

  • Salmon & Cream Cheese

  • Cheddar & Tomato

  • Pitta & Humuus

  • Roasted Veg & Hummus

  • Bacon bap

  • Avo on Toast

• Meals

  • Pasta al Salmone (my favourite dish that my husband makes)

  • Pancakes with Cinnamon Sugar (another favourite from my husbands repertoire)

  • Grilled or Baked Fish (with garlic and lemon), Greens, Salad and Garlic Potatoes

  • Homemade Cheese burger

  • Chicken Milanese

  • Pesto Pasta with Peas

• Takeout

  • Poke Ball (salmon, pineapple, spicy mayo, edamame and avocado)

  • Ramen (Chicken or Beef broth with udon noodles and a side of Takoyaki)

  • Cinghiale al Pappardelle

  • Sushi

  • Chicken Burger & Fries (specifically from a local burger joint where they put excess mayonnaise on the burger and the ketchup is sweet and vinegary)

  • Nectarine Sorbet

I hope that they are useful for others or can serve as inspiration. Feel free to personalise these to your tastes and passively aggressively send these to your partners.

If you’ve gone through the postpartum trenches, I’d be interested to know if you think what I’ve prepped so far is actually enough. Not that I can take your advice on board, because there is no more room in my freezer.

About every decision I’ve ever made

So I wasn’t surprised you got up

And you walked away

Not caring what I had to say

As angry as you are

We aren’t the ones to blame

There is no-one to blame

And I won’t let you hang my head in shame

I won’t feel bad for falling in love.

• I’ve been worried that I’ve not been putting on enough weight which is a startling thought process for a woman to have considering all the body shaming that women grow up with and endure. People have complimented on how I’m looking and how small my bump is. I know they mean well but I don’t like hearing it because up until now I’ve only been averaging just under 0.2kg weight gain a week since the start of the pregnancy and that’s under the recommended gain for my BMI. But also BMI is bullshit and I know that my health isn’t defined solely by that number. I truly believe I should have been putting on more weight because I can see where I’ve lost weight in other areas to accommodate my bumpy boy. Before the results confirmed the anaemia, I had lost almost 2kg in about 10 days and so my concern was turning into worry. But these past couple of days, I’ve weighed myself and the number is increasing. And I’m relieved.

• I had another anatomy scan today (not because of any concerns but because they really do them this often in Italy). Despite my fears of not enough weight gain, the boy is measuring BIG!!! His head especially which isn’t a surprise because my husband and I both have big craniums.

• To be a part of the women collective is fucking amazing. The amount of other women, who have had children who I was friends with already or friendly with, that have since become closer. They are incredibly generous with their support and love, checking in on me, sharing tips etc. It is so beautiful. Oh, how I love to be a woman!

• I I had another antenatal class today and was so tired that nothing was computing but thankfully it was mostly a demonstrations class. I nearly fell asleep on the mat when we had to lay down for an exercise.

• The boy has hiccups and I can feel it in my ass.

• Everything is so hard and requires so much fucking effort. And why do I want to cry for no reason?!?!

• It’s either too hot or I’m too pregnant for my wedding ring to fit. I usually love the summer. I’m a sun and sea worshipper. I fucking hate it this year.

• I went out in my house shoes. Took me two hours to notice.

• I kept thinking there was a bad smell in the kitchen….the organic waste was chucked and I could still smell it……smells like baby sick……I can’t find any sick so I light an incense stick. Go out, come back home. Can still smell it. It’s followed me into the bathroom. It’s me. I am the smell.

• We went to the beach today and I felt like a goddess. I could have cried because I was so happy to full immerse myself in the water. It felt so beautiful and the pressure it relieved from my hips!! What a dream.

• My husband and I were talking about nasal aspirators and I started gagging.

• My ankles are too swollen to wear my favourite sandals. 😭

• It blows my mind how comfortable so many people are with smoking in front of children and babies. Saw a father smoking next to his 3 month old.

• Never has a tweet felt more like the truth.

@emily.eggerscoconut dill poached cod! 🐟

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I am a huge fish lover but it’s not something we eat as often as we did when we lived in Portugal or England because fish is EXPENSIVE in Tuscany! Instead of fresh, I used frozen cod. (For the record, where I live on the coast, in a fishing town, imported fish is cheaper than buying locally sourced fish….and your girl has a budget)

Dill is not commonly found within my area either (unless it’s already cooked into a pre-made sauce at Ikea) and so instead I used the leaves from some fennel.

Because of these two factors, I would suggest that you take my review with a pinch of salt, because in reality, I tried an adjacent recipe! I didn’t even use orzo, I used risoni.

Was it easy? Absolutely - any recipe where you can throw the ingredients into a pot or two and leave it alone for the most part is a winner in my eyes. Poaching fish can be delicate but even if you over-poached and it began flaking away, you can still trust it will be delicious.

Is it a keeper? Yes, but I do do some things differently now to better suit my palette.

What do I do differently now? The recipe is pretty easy to follow and also easy to mix up some of the ingredients. For example, prawns or salmon can work well and you could serve it over any carb bed, such as mashed potato, polenta or even a celeriac puree. However, the lemon slices were bitter once cooked into the mix and therefore, now I use lemon zest and fresh lemon juice rather than cooking the slices underneath the cod.

All that said, I would not change a single thing about using the garlic, ginger and coconut base. The aromas permeating my house felt like a warm hug of a simmer pot!

• Last summer, I bought myself some handmade sandals. I’ve been researching for a couple of years to try find the right pair that I love. I had to get my husband to put them on for me, because I can no longer reach properly. Give it a week and I don’t think they’ll even fit me anymore. Love that for me.

• I didn’t sleep again. So exhausted that I keep forgetting to go to the doctors. I feel like I’m going crazy.

• I wanted to punch my father in law for eating so loudly.

• I didn’t sleep again. Mayb a couple of hours max. Cried again. I have cried every single night for the past week. I genuinely don’t know how I haven’t started hallucinating yet.

• We went to the hospital today and their response was on the lines of “welp, that’s pregnancy for you”. I am conflicted with some of the advice I was given because it’s contrary to UK advice. I’ve been told to take melatonin to help me sleep and wear compression socks all day. The NHS advises against melatonin for pregnant women and elsewhere, the advice is to only use compression socks for 2-3 hours a day. Also, we’re in a heatwave. And I am meant to wear plastic elastic socks up to my thighs all day??? I found some that look a little lighter and some melatonin spray meant for babies so I’m hoping that is a compromise between the two countries advice? It’s also been recommended that I use magnesium powder rather than tablets so going to treat myself to a magnesium pomegranate mocktail and see if that works.

• I made the magnesium mocktail. It took a few hours to kick in and so it felt like a difficult start to the night. I may have shouted “fuck you” to a pillow and “fuck off” to another. Cried some more. Eventually I settled on the sofa and the mocktail kicked in and I got a few hours of deep sleep.

• This evening, I snacked on a carrot. Saw it in the fridge and nothing has ever seemed more delicious to me.

• It happened. A strange lady touched my stomach. Was too shocked to stop her. Cursed her when she was out of earshot.

• I managed to get another good nights sleep, interrupted by wee breaks but still some deep sleep.

• The bassinet arrived today and the delivery man shook my husbands hand and congratulated him. It had to arrive the day that our cat had to be kept inside because of his flea treatment as well as us administering the outdoor mosquito treatment. He was already pissed with us before he saw the delivery.

• I went to put a basket in the laundry room and ended up reorganising three shelves. I also went to dust our room and ended up doing a rearrangement and under the bed clean.

• We had another scan the other day and they said that he looked like a big baby but the thing is, I’ve averaged less than 0.2kg a week in weight gain. I threw up before we went and then had explosive diarrhea the following day as well as being knackered. That could just be pregnancy but I think I may have taken too much magnesium. But at the same time, I’m taking underneath the dose. Fairly certain it is the magnesium though. But I’m also not a medical professional.

• Slept back in our own bed last night and I need something softer on my hips.

• Whenever I get out of bed, I look like a turtle stuck on its back.

• I can balance a bowl on my belly for the first time

• I’m really surprised by how ordinary this feels. To be pregnant.

• People keep saying that I can never have enough muslins but how much is that actually? After asking my friends, it is seemingly around 10-15.

• I had my first antenatal class this morning. There’s 11 of us, all aged between 26-36 and all due within a month of each other. It was all in Italian and I’m proud of myself for following along as much as I could. Fortunately for me, one of the women is from the town I live in but lives in the Netherlands and is back for the birth and she speaks fluent English so she tells me she can relate to being in another country where your understanding of a language whilst going through a major life change. This puts me at ease.

• The maternity services in Tuscany are actually amazing. I could write a whole other entry about this.

• Ham and cheese sandwiches have NEVER tasted so good

• The doctor confirmed I’m anaemic today and prescribed me something to help me absorb folic acid and iron and b12. This is why I haven’t been able to sleep.

• I know the law is the same in Portugal as it is here that pregnant women get priority in queues but I’m not sure if it is the same in the UK. In the 20+ years I lived in the UK, I never once saw it happen to a pregnant woman in a supermarket. Not only is there is a priority line for pregnant women and disabled people here, I get to jump to the front. I never do but others always insist. This morning, the cashier even insisted I didn’t offload my basket. She did it all for me and everyone else in the queue congratulated me. It was the same in the cosmetics shop.

• Nesting really has kicked in. What started as some quick tasks has evolved into deep cleaning our standing fans and reorganising the hallway cupboard as well as our wardrobe. Yesterday I ended up reorganising all our towels and linen and sorting our laundry room.

Into someone else’s hands

But I’ll put it in yours

I’ll put my happiness into your palms

Into your arms

Because I trust you’ll embrace me

If I was ever to fall

At this point, I am now in my third trimester. I try to write it without giving any real dates away to protect my future boys identity from the internet as much as is possible.

And so, we continue from the last post where I had just embarked on a trip to the UK.

• My best friend picked me up from the airport and we immediately go get a Greggs Sausage roll and MnS Picky Bits. When we arrived back at her house, she has turned her spare bedroom into the cosiest space and gifted me the most adorable pieces of baby clothing and self-care items. As well as a V shaped pillow that is my new comfort item and I never want to part from it. I finally get an almost good nights sleep.

• I’m here for a girls weekend. We get together annually and it’s one of the highlights of my year. In secret, they threw me a mini baby shower. Homemade sugar icing cookies, cupcakes and they have also SPOILT me with the most thoughtful gifts. I cried so much. I feel so loved and it makes me so happy and overwhelmed with joy to know that our boy hasn’t even arrived yet but he is already so deeply loved by such a divine group of women.

• This weekend was pure heaven.

• My best friend felt him move!

• I have a theory that pregnancy insomnia is training the body for the early days postpartum. It’s not a well thought out theory, but a theory nonetheless.

• I went shopping today with two of my best friends and my husband in Brighton. My husband kept referring to my girlfriends as “The Aunties”. They finally got a chance to feel our boy move. I was spoilt with more gifts and a card that made me cry over dinner. He really is so loved already.

• Baby products are SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper in the UK than it is in Italy.

• I went to the pharmacist to ask if there was anything I could use or put into my hips to prevent pain……doesn’t seem like it. But the girl behind the counter told me I looked beautiful. I cried again.

• I’ve not put on any weight these past two weeks and I wouldn’t say I’m worried, per se, but it’s definitely a thought sitting at the back of my mind.

• Almost everyday this week, I have done lots of walking around Brighton and Hove and it’s been lovely. I’ve walked a shit tonne. But why the fuck am I out of breath now putting makeup on?

• We went out for dinner last night with my mother and sister in law and I couldn’t wait to eat a burger. One bite into it and I hit a wall. I couldn’t eat anything more.

• Myself and another one of my best friends went to go see another one of our dear friends run a marathon in Hackney today - everything went wrong with the trains but it really does make a difference who you travel with because I still had the best time. Seeing our friend run, in her element, dancing with the samba band, made me well up.

• I had an exhaustion sob last night because these damn restless legs are keeping me up and I’ve not slept anywhere near enough. We had to wake up early for our flight back to Italy. Once we landed, what is usually a 45 minutes journey, took 3 hours due to strikes and cancellations. I had another cry en-route home.

• A new pregnancy symptom was unlocked last night. Itchyness like I was covered in tiny little bugs. Had another cry.

• My body decided to mix things up tonight and I got restless legs but in my arms. It sucked.

• I think this morning may be the last time I cut my own toenails and shave my whole body for a long long while.

• I am slightly panicking that we have less than 10 weeks to go. We have clothes, extra absorbent maxi pads, nipple balm and an adorable teddy and taco plushie. But where is he going to sleep?

• Last night I slept on the sofa because everything in bed felt overstimulating and I couldn’t settle. It actually helped with the hip pain but I was still waking up every half hour to an hour. Pregnancy sometimes feels like a form of torture created by secret agents.

• I just sneezed and it felt like doing 1000 crunches.

• I cried again today because I’m just so tired. I just want to sleep

• I finally had a good-ish nights sleep. We went to the beach and it exhausted me. I then threw up over myself after taking my night tablets.

• When it was time to go to bed, just as I was on the brink of slumber, the restless legs started doing their thing and I cried so hard I gagged.

• Today is the anniversary of when my husband and I first met. We were sat in the garden, him having his coffee and me eating breakfast. I threw up over myself again. This is a humbling experience.

• I’m beginning to associate my bed with tears and no sleep and have been sleeping on the sofa every night. This sofa was always a compromise in the sense that my husband wanted it and I compromised but I’m glad he chose it now.

• I cried because I couldn’t fully immerse myself in the sea because it was too cold. Also got pissed off with two other sea farers who lit up in front of me, smoke actively in my direction. One of which was a pipe. Fuck them.

• Have I prepped enough meals for postpartum? There isn’t enough room in our freezer for anything more but it still doesn’t feel like enough. I’ve made 6 portions of cottage pie and lasagne, 4 strawberry Banana and spinach smoothie bags, chewy oat cookies and chocolate chip cookies, 2 portions of my best friends butter bean broth, 8 portions of tomato soup and 4-6 portions of breakfast Banana oat smoothie bags.

• And like a celebrity with a rider, I’ve also written three different food lists for my husband to refer to to make some food for me too. (Salad chop prep list with a mix and match of proteins, quick sandwhiches, as well as quick and easy meals that I like that he makes).

• Is that enough? It doesn’t feel like enough. Oh, I also plan on making some granola and avocado chocolate pudding closer to my due date. Maybe. If I can be bothered. We’ll see.

She is truly one of life’s treasures and when I think of kindness, authenticity, courage and compassion, she is the person that comes to mind. I have been stuck on the side of a Spanish motorway in midday heat with her and it is one of my most cherished memories. We have dressed up as party guests to watch Rocky Horror; We have been chased up Monchique by a literal greedy pig; I’ve shared delight over tomatoes, pistachio tiramisu, riverside croissants, noodles in Brighton and unnecessarily large portions of pasta with her; We’ve witnessed each other’s drunk and sober tears and drunk and sober dancing; I cry with laughter every time we hang out. And I’d estimate that about a third of all my liked songs on spotify are ones she has sent me.

And so, in honour of her, I present the Ginger Moo.

I should note that I know I’m not the first person to mix whiskey and ginger together. It’s my go to drink whenever I am in Ireland. However, this is how I like to take the flavours and make them suit mine and my friends tastes when I serve them up at home.

It’s name and ingredients also have nothing to do with her nickname or her hair colour. I swear.

Ginger Moo - Serves 2

Ingredients & Utensils

• 50ml Bourbon Whisky* (I like to use Bulleit as it’s quite sweet)

• 10ml Ginger Cordial**

• 2 X Cans of Gingerella***

• 2-4 X Lime Segments

• Ice (crushed or cubed is fine)

• 2 X Tumblers

*If I am being honest, when I pour this at home, I’m pouring 50ml per person.

**If you don’t have ginger cordial, you can also smash up a couple of slices of ginger at the bottom of the glass, alongside the lime

*** Ginger beer or even ginger ale will also work for this recipe, but I recommend Gingerella because it is particularly delicious and compliments Bulleit well. It’s zingy but not overly fizzy.

Method

• In each of your glasses, add your lime segments and ginger cordial. Mush them down a little bit to release the juice from the segments.*

• Add your ice and Bourbon. Measure with your heart.

• Top up each tumbler with your Gingerella and gently stir.

*If you prefer it on the zingier side, add a bit more ginger cordial or fresh ginger.

And there we have it, my dedication to one of my best friends, shared with you all. She’s not so bad.

I am unsure if Celebrations tubs exist outside of the UK, but for those who may not know, it’s a big tub filled with mini chocolate bar varieties such as Snickers, Maltesers, Twix etc. The tub inevitably gets re-used somewhere in the house to store either biscuits or random miscellaneous items such as charging wires and sewing kits. I imagine these tubs will be found by archaeologists in thousands of years time, giving a pretty distinct insight into the average UK household.

Anytime I have ever made my way through a box of Celebrations, usually at Christmas or, when I was younger, at the end of a school year, I always discarded the Bounty bars. I “saved” them for my mum. How kind of me.

Despite never liking a Bounty, when I saw the below video by Bored of Lunch of homemade Bounty Bars, I felt inclined to try to make it myself.

@boredoflunch4 Ingredient Bounty Bars 🥥🍫 Bountys divide opinion but I love them. These can be kept in the fridge as a bar or a freezer as an ice lolly. The perfect healthier alternative with 5 grams of protein. Makes 12 (or more if they are in balls) 225 calories per bar  Ingredients: 150g desiccated coconut 400ml 0% fat Greek yogurt 1 tbsp honey (Optional) 300g dark chocolate, melted Method: 1. Mix the coconut, Greek yogurt and honey together until fully combined. 2. Press into a lined tray/tin and freeze for at least 2 hours (overnight is even better). 3. Once firm, slice into bars. Dip or coat each one in melted dark chocolate and place onto a fresh lined tray. 4. Chill in the fridge or freezer for 10 minutes until the chocolate sets… then enjoy 🤝 Perfect for when the sweet tooth kicks in 🍫 #boredoflunch #bounty #coconut #sweettooth #healthysnacks

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Maybe it’s because I’m about to become a Mum and so my tastes are suddenly aligned with “Mum” things, like salads, high rise jeans, cleaning before a guest arrives, and a temptation to cut my hair short. Maybe it’s because I’ve finally grown up. Who knows?

Was it easy? FUCK YES!!! I made a small batch to try and see if I would like it before fully committing. At no point did I even look at any recipe measurements. I could watch the video, measure with the heart, and work it out confidently.

Is it a keeper? Absolutely. I will be making these en-masse soon to keep in the freezer for post-partum snacking. I think I will likely make more even sooner because my husband and I have already finished the small batch I made and we both want more.

What do I do differently now? I skipped out on the honey and added some vanilla essence. What garlic is to any savoury meal for me, is what vanilla is to any sweet treat. Because I was testing the recipe out, I made the bars quite small, bitesize if you will. Similar to the size of a Bounty in a Celebrations box and I think I will keep it that way.

Will I ever buy a Bounty from the shops? No! This version is much better!

If you’d like me to try a recipe or have a recipe of your own that you want reviewing, leave a comment.

Leave a comment

of the people walking away

I’m walking a longer way home

I need some time

To feel the air

To catch my breath.

I’m passing the silhouettes

and making my way

back to you

back home

along the bay

I’ll always be coming home to you.

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My kitchen was cold and my butter, even colder. And so, when I I made it, it took me a little while longer to pull it all together. I did have to cheat and wet my hands a little with warm water. As you may remember from my No Knead Bread review, I am not a fan of touching dough so I wasn’t too happy about this part. But that’s not the Crowded Kitchen’s fault.

@crowdedkitchenSlice & Bake Cheddar Cheese Coins (aka cheese pennies 🧀🪙) coated in everything seasoning for day 5 of our Recipe Advent Calendar! 🎄🎁 These truly taste like a cross between a cheez-it and shortbread. They’re SO GOOD, so crisp, buttery and cheesy, and so easy to make! Makes ~90 crackers 2 cups (8 ounces) sharp cheddar cheese, shredded 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour 8 tablespoons (one stick) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature ½ teaspoon kosher salt ¼ teaspoon cayenne (omit if sensitive to spice) ¼ teaspoon ground mustard powder ¼ teaspoon sweet paprika Everything bagel seasoning or sesame seeds, for rolling To a medium-sized mixing bowl, add the flour, softened butter, cayenne pepper, paprika, ground mustard and salt. Use a hand or stand mixer until the butter is evenly incorporated with the dry ingredients. (If you don't have a mixer, you can also use your hands.) Add in the cheddar cheese to the dry ingredients and mix with a mixer or your hands, until the dough comes together and forms a ball. It should be speckled with little pieces of cheese and it should stick together when pressed between your thumb and forefinger. Divide the dough in half and move to a silicone baking sheet or a lightly floured work surface. If the dough isn't completely incorporated, knead it for a few seconds to incorporate any stray crumbs and ensure there aren't any internal gaps. Use your hands to roll each dough half into a log measuring 8" (20cm) long and 1.5" (~4cm) in diameter. Sprinkle everything bagel seasoning or sesame seeds onto your work surface and roll the logs of dough in the seasoning until well coated. Wrap each dough log in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 2 hours or freeze for 30 minutes, until the dough feels firm. Heat oven to 400˚F (205˚C). Using a serrated knife, cut your dough logs into thin coins that are slightly less than ¼" thick. Too thick is better than too thin, as thin crackers will burn fairly quickly. We were able to get about 45 coins per log. You don't need to give them a ton of space, but they will spread slightly as they bake. Place coins down onto a parchment paper-lined rimmed baking sheet and bake for 8-10 minutes, or until the edges just barely start to brown. Remove from the oven and let cool completely before enjoying.

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Was it easy? Yes, but make sure your butter is at room temperature before trying.

Is it a keeper? Originally, yes. But after a couple of days, it no longer was a keeper unfortunately. BUT! But, not because of the recipe itself. It’s because I now have a connection formed in my brain that Cheese Pennies = Morning Sickness. Don’t blame Crowded Kitchen, blame the baby growing in my belly.

What do I do differently now? IF the connection of morning sickness breaks, then I would probably mix some other spices or dried aromatics to mix the recipe up from time to time. For example, using some onion powder or fresh spring onions before baking. The recipe is a good base formula to then customise and suit your own tastes and we like these kinds of recipes in my kitchen. Should the association in my mind ever pass, I would probably also dip them straight into some sort of pickle or jam.