If you’ve lived here long enough, you deserve a hazard allowance, a resilience award. Maybe even a certificate of participation because every single day feels like you’ve completed an obstacle course before 9am.

I was born and raised in Lagos, so for the longest time, I thought this was normal. People waking up before the sun, leaving the house at 5am for a job that officially starts at 9.

Spending more time in traffic than with your family. Planning your entire day around whether the Third Mainland Bridge has chosen peace. I genuinely thought this was adulthood.

Then I went to university in Anambra State, and that’s where my confusion started.

Apparently, people wake up at 7a.m for a 9am lecture. They get to the bus stop and... a bus actually comes. And traffic isn’t something that determines your mood for the day.

People aren’t calculating three different routes before leaving the house. Nobody is checking Google Maps like they’re planning a military operation.

Life was... calm!

Then I came back to Lagos, and I realized something. Lagos is not a real place!

Because why is everybody always running? Who are we chasing? Where exactly are we going?

The funny thing is, if you ask someone why they’re rushing, they’ll probably tell you, “I don’t want to meet traffic.” The irony? Everyone is rushing to avoid traffic... and together, we become the traffic.

Let’s not even talk about public buses. Some mornings, your seatmate smells like they fought with deodorant and won.

Other days, someone decides that brushing their teeth is optional. Then there’s that one person shouting into their phone as if the person on the other end is in another country.

By the time you finally get to work, you’ve already lived three different lives before 9 a.m.

And yet, somehow, you still have to smile and say, “Good morning.” Now imagine being a creative in Lagos.

Your brain is already thinking about campaign ideas, deadlines, and meetings. Then add traffic, generator sounds, network issues, and rain.

Because Lagos has a special talent for raining exactly when everyone is trying to get home. If it rains by 5 p.m., just accept your fate. You live in traffic now.

The funny thing is, despite all my complaints, there’s something magnetic about Lagos.

Everything happens here.... The concerts, the food spots, the networking events, the opportunities.

The random “Who knows someone that knows someone?” conversations that somehow lead to jobs.

Lagos is exhausting.... But it’s also exciting. It stretches you, it forces you to think fast.

Maybe that’s why people keep coming. Maybe... just maybe that’s why even those of us who complain every day somehow stay.

Because underneath all the chaos, Lagos has a way of making you believe that tomorrow might just be the day something changes.

Would I recommend living here?

Ask me again after I’ve spent three hours in traffic.

As Nigerians, we've all lived experiences that could keep Twitter arguing for days.

From someone who built a business from $0 to $100,000 with nothing but grit, to the unforgettable house-hunting chaos that somehow only happens in Nigeria, to the unbelievable journeys of people who found their way abroad.

We all have these stories, but haven’t found the outlet to share them. That’s why Diary of a Random Nigerian exists.

Now, this is NOT an interview. This is your story written in your own words.

You have the freedom to have your stories shared anonymously or with your name - your call!

Here’s how to get your stories published:

Step 1: Reply to this email to let me know you’re interested in getting your story published, and what it’s about (can be just a 1-liner)

Step 2: I say YES

Step 3: You write your story

Step 4: It goes live within a week.

There are only two rules:

• Be Nigerian.

• Tell the truth.

Everything else is up to you. Share it under your name, or stay completely anonymous.

Finally, we're not looking for perfect writing. We're looking for honest stories that make people laugh, think, cry, or feel seen.

See you soon, with probably our first official story.

In this space, I’ll be sharing stories of Nigerians EVERYWHERE! At home and abroad, from Canada to UK, Australia to the Czech Republic. 😊 But of course, you’ll occasionally get my rants and personal stories.

If you’d like to write your experiences here as a contributor or want to get featured, there are always slots available - email me at diaryofarandomnigerian@substack.com.

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For our first feature, I had the pleasure of interviewing Blessing, a Nigerian born in Canada, about what it’s like growing up with roots in one country and a home in another.

From living in a Nigerian home filled with jollof rice and Nollywood movies to navigating life in a country that’s worlds apart from her Nigerian heritage, Blessing shares her journey of embracing both identities.

In this conversation, she shares the pride and the little moments that make her experience as a Nigerian-Canadian truly special.

Tell me a little about yourself

My name is Blessing. I’m in my fourth year of university studying Psychology. I currently work at a beauty store where we help customers in their healthy hair journey.

In my fun time, I like to go out, try out different restaurants and do fun activities. I also like to join events at my church. I would say I'm in between being an extrovert and an introvert, it depends on the type of setting that I'm in.

What was your experience growing up with 2 cultures? So you come home and it's very Nigerian, you go out, it's Canadian. How did you navigate that?

I would say it's very interesting because you can see the 2 different cultures that Canada brings and the different cultures that Nigeria brings. I would say growing up, I was more with my Canadian side, just because I would be in extracurricular activities and daycare.

So a lot of the time I was also sharing the same experiences with people who had Canadian backgrounds. Growing up, I didn't have like a lot of Nigerian friends so I felt like the only people that I knew that were Nigerian were my parents.

Seeing the 2 different ways that the cultures differentiate was kind of interesting to see, because it's like when I go out I'm Canadian and when I come back home, it's a Nigerian household, it was very interesting to be a part of.

What are the things you've heard about Nigeria that make you proud to be a Nigerian?

I would say that a lot of things that I've heard would be the culture. So I know that Nigerians go very big for their wedding culture. And it's like a whole fantasy that a lot of people wish to have when they have their weddings.

I know there's spraying of money, that's like a whole different tradition that a lot of Nigerians do. And then, a lot of times the different asoebis symbolize different wedding traditions.

Another thing that I also learned when I was younger is that oil is one of the most popular industries in the country. That's one of the things that I've known from like doing my research on Nigeria and also through one of the movies I watched.

Growing up, I didn't know too much about Nigeria. So when I heard that it was one of the biggest oil producers, that was really interesting.

What are the most Nigerian experiences you’ve had?

Growing up, YouTube wasn't really big, in terms of showcasing movies. So back then, what a lot of Nigerians would do is go to stores or one-stops that had CDs, and they would rent or buy.

And then after, you would watch it when you get home. The only thing about this is you didn't know what you were buying or you didn't know what you were like getting yourself into. You would just basically pick whatever had the best picture on the CD and just hope that it was your money's worth.

That's one of the things that I found that was so interesting because it's like you're buying a movie and then after you're getting ready to watch it at home, but then it could either be good or bad.

That was a wholesome nostalgic period of my life because now, we don't do that anymore. Everything is on YouTube. Everything's on Netflix. So, that's one of the most Nigerian things I saw from childhood that I would take with me because my parents had so many CDs in boxes back then.

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What are your favourite cultures that you’ve seen with your parents or the Nigerian community?

I would say weddings. Nigerians take a lot of pride in their weddings and planning it. And then, the church community as well. They're very connected, I feel like they all stay in one group. For me, I don't really feel the connection because I think for the youth, it’s a little bit different.

But in terms of the older generation they like to stay together and worship the Lord as one. That’s one thing that I think is interesting to see.

Who’s your favourite Nigerian artiste?

It has to be Davido because I remember one time when my dad got this playlist from one of those stores. The same way you buy CDs for movies is the same way you buy music too.

So he bought this DVD that had like a playlist of a bunch of different Afrobeats songs, and I remember Davido came up. I just liked the way he sings and how he's very in tune with his music. I’ve found that I've created a deep connection with that.

I discovered Davido with his first song, which was ‘Gobe’. I’ve loved his songs from there, and that song has to play at my wedding. Then, I met him about 2 years ago, when he came to perform in Toronto, which was really fun. He’s my number one. Nigerian artiste.

Your favourite Nigerian dish?

I have a lot, but jollof rice would take the top spot. You know, party rice. I also really like ‘moi-moi’ and pepper soup.

Do you have plans to visit and see Nigeria sometime in the future?

Definitely. That's one of my 2025 travel plans. I hope that soon, I will be able to go and get a glimpse of what Nigeria is like and see the villages and the marketplaces. I’m hoping it goes well because it’s going to be my first time.

Seeing a lot of Nigerians relocate to Canada, are you grateful to have been born here?

I will say yeah because I feel like being born here has kind of made life a little bit easier because I do have some friends that came from Nigeria for schooling, and I know that the price that I pay for school is a totally different amount that they pay.

Sometimes I see that it's a little bit harder on their terms, just because a lot of things that they have to look out for is something that I don't have to. So I'm grateful that my parents did end up moving here cos it's given me a connection with my Canadian side and getting accustomed to the culture down here is something easy for me now.

Blessing was born and raised in Toronto, she also runs a hairstyling business - Sheslayshair.

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It’s been a long long time (covers face). It was just March when I made my last post here, and like the speed of light, we are at the end of 2024. How did the year run so fast?

Here are my highlights for the year:

I started this Substack - Yes, I know I didn’t post a lot. But I’m super proud of all the stories here. You all loved it. You all engaged. Quality over quantity, right? Grateful to you all. And to new subscribers who came in during my hiatus, thanks for subscribing.

I dove deep into the Canadian job market - Not the smoothest of part of my year. But did I give up? No. I took a break here to focus. Cleaned up CV an uncountable number of times. Applied for hundreds of jobs.

Here’s the biggest lesson I took about job hunting - it’s all about time and seasons. When a job is yours, nothing can stop it. My friend Folu said this and it all made sense. I remembered times when I kept applying for jobs so I could resign from a role and it was bleak. Even though my experience was strong, I kept doubting myself because the job just wasn’t forthcoming. Until one day. The one job that I needed came right on time. So, here’s a lesson you should take into 2025 - it takes one email. One phone call. One interview. You just need to be patient for that ONE.

I started a new role at the University of Waterloo - After I got this, I knew God was saving the best for me. Grateful for the experience so far. I’ve been the only black person on my team, but guess what? I’ve been killing it. Every copy, every story has been a hit, back to back. And to crown the year, 6 of my stories made the top 10 most viewed stories of 2024. Yes, you can clap now.

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Major lessons I learnt

• It may not look like it while you’re praying - but a lot is going on behind the scenes, all working in your favour.

• You might be praying for C, but A happens and then B happens. Then you’re wondering why C hasn’t happened. Many times, C needs A and B for it to come together fully. As you know, His ways are not our ways.

• Everyone comes into your life for a reason. Know that reason and don’t mix things up. You were probably connected so you could be business partners or so they can support you through a rough time. If you’ve given people the wrong place in your life, it’s never too late to retrace your steps. Give yourself grace. Give them grace.

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Are you ready for 2025?

It’s going to be a year of storiesss!

Here’s what to expect in 2025: I’ll be interviewing Nigerians in the diaspora and Nigerians in Nigeria, and sharing their everyday experiences. You don’t want to miss these. If you’d like to be featured, send an email to diaryofarandomnigerian@substack.com.

Here’s to a beautiful 2025! 🥂

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For those who work in agencies, they’ll be having 7 to 10 brainstorms, depending on the number of brands they manage. The client-side folks on the other hand are currently struggling to connect their brands to the Easter narrative even though no plug connects both.

And on Easter Day, you’ll see something like this:

Easter is arguably the most difficult holiday for Creatives. First, your brand might not have any element you can connect to the Easter narrative, you then struggle to connect what’s not there and fail at it.

And if your brand has elements you can connect to the Easter narrative, you’ve probably done it over and over again in different ways, and there’s nothing left to explore. Then, it’s a religious holiday that requires treading with care so you don’t fall into blasphemy.

Year after year, I’ve seen creativity for Easter ads dwindle. The most creative ideas we had years ago made a comeback and have been overflogged, just like the ‘it is finished’ idea food brands don’t want to let go of.

Easter creatives have become stressful in the last 2-3 years and brands have begun to churn out forced ideas consistently without care.

I keep asking, why the struggle? There’s no harm in doing a clean design that says Happy Easter.

Sterling was probably out of ideas in 2022 when they did this. For Peak, the struggle to use their product to depict Easter is how they ended up here.

It didn’t end well because ARCON came for both brands and they had to issue an apology to the Christian community.

Let’s review some Easter creatives we’ve seen in the last few years.

Financial Institutions

For the fintechs and banks, Easter idea is usually either a POS terminal or a receipt, with the words, ‘transaction successful’ or something related.

While it’s not a bad idea, as it was creative when the first brand did it, it has now been over-flogged. If there’s nothing new that can be done, let’s create something simple. It’s Easter after all and the day is not about your brand.

One financial institution that has however kept it fresh with its Easter designs is Interswitch and its babies (Quickteller, Verve and others).

They’ve explored the receipt idea and left it behind for new ideas. Can other financial institutions follow suit or again, just do something simple?

Stone rolled away

This is the most over-flogged Easter idea out of Nigeria. I know the stone was rolled away, but it’s not compulsory your design has that. You don’t have to force it. Some brands have rolled away the stone and killed it effortlessly, but some others ended up either being an epic fail or just plain boring.

Here’s one that came out well:

Bold played around with their logo. It was simple, no unnecessary drama. Easy on the eyes.

Then we have 9mobile.

Designs like this stress me out. You really don’t have to, because it’s not working.

For Checkers, the tomb has been checked. Why? Because they are Checkers Custard and their brand has to tie into Easter.

Then, there’s Peak Milk.

Peak Milk has given us some really good Easter designs, I’ll give it to them. For this ‘tomb rolled away’ design, it’s not bad, but the idea is not new.

MTN and Oando rolling the stone away.

The MTN design is not the best, it doesn’t look clean and easy on the eyes. For Oando, I have one question - is the stone the gift? Why the wrap around it?

Others

First Bank tried to use their ‘You First’ tagline here, and it’s nice. But everything else makes me cringe. ‘He put us first’ works perfectly, and all we needed on the left was Happy Easter, not that wordy copy. For Airtel, I have no words.

Sycamore and United Capital kept it simple. It screams Easter, but in a creative way, without the forced connection of brand elements.

Dear Nigerian creatives, Easter is in a few days. As you think of ideas and the creativity doesn’t seem to be working, save yourself the stress and your brand’s image from designs that will not end well. If it’s not working, it’s not you - it’s Easter. Let it be and get your designer to create a clean Happy Easter design.

If your Easter Day design has already been done and approved, it just might need a second look. Ask yourself, is it forced? Is this necessary? If it needs some tweaking or another brainstorm, do it now.

Till next time!

Please share this with a Creative and drop your thoughts in the comments.

In 2022, Kunle Afolayan gave us Anikulapo - one great movie that got us all excited. The story was different, the casting was properly done, the acting was exceptional, and the setting was beautiful.

If you follow movies and conversations in the Nollywood industry, Kunle Afolayan will not be strange to you. He has delivered great stories back to back.

Anikulapo trended for quite a while, with conversations around Saro’s role and the phrase, gbera dide. Skit makers made content out of it, memes flew all over the Internet.

Then, the sequel was announced.

Since the announcement, we've been on our toes waiting for the release. I personally couldn't wait, I was counting the days to March 1st.

It's been 10 days since the release and this review is a bit late, but it's better late than never.

Overall:

I loved the acting. Everyone delivered beautifully - even those that appeared just once brought their A-game. Like the little boy who woke Saro up thinking he was sent to clear a farm, the old woman who gave Saro tips to escape death and even the angel.

I loved the introduction of Bashorun and his scenes were the highlights for me. New face, but he didn't disappoint.

If I were to rate the movie, I’d give it a 7/10 just because of these. They poured a lot of energy into it, Kunle Afolayan delivered yet again and he deserves his flowers.

While I enjoyed the movie because of the stellar acting and great production, a lot of nuts were loose. Some things were sidelined, there were a couple of gaps and questions left unanswered.

That's why we are here.

Shall we begin?

What happened to Saro’s 2 wives and children?

Did they think we would forget?

Remember how Saro betrayed Arolake? He got 2 more wives during their time raising the dead in Ojumo town.

Before the movie ended, Saro had children with these women. But the series came and that part was left out like nothing happened. It wasn’t a different storyline, we were coming from somewhere. It was the continuation of a story.

Saro is a lead actor and that's a big part of his life that shouldn't have been thrown away. A scene or 2 referencing it would have no harm.

How was Saro able to bury his body?

Were you not shocked?

At the time Saro was going about killing people he had raised before, he was a ghost that no one could see. He could not touch anything in the physical. He was ready to kill his next victim, but she didn't give him a chance, and instead gave him tips on how he could remain a ghost and live among the living.

Part of the instructions required him to bury his dead body. Why was he able to do this? How does that work? How is a ghost able to touch a physical body? If you have answers, please drop a comment.

Was there a love story here?

The confusion in this Omowumi and Awolaran relationship is confusing me.

First, they could have established a love story here. With these 2, what we saw was a lady who had friend-zoned someone who was in love with her. No action showed a guy who was in love - he never professed love, it was giving ‘bestie’ all through.

We only got to know he loved her after he became distressed when she was set to marry Kuranga and because Omowumi’s mother constantly told her how much he loved her.

Next thing we know, she was in his room as a lover after the Kuranga drama. Did you like him or not? And for Awolaran, you loved her, but you were playing Ludo instead of telling her. I’m confused.

Why did we keep hearing 3years?

Between the time Arolake and Saro fled to when they parted ways, it cannot be 3 years. He married wife 1, married wife 2, had children with them and raised 20 people from the dead. So, that timing doesn’t seem right.

But from the beginning of the series to the end, they kept saying Arolake fled 3 years ago. But let’s assume it was 3years, as the series progressed and Saro had spent over 2years as a dead man in the land of the living, they still kept referencing 3years. What manner of error is this?

Why couldn’t Saro and Arolake change names?

Nollywood, can we do reality things?

Assume you are on the run and you get into a now town. Not just any town, one that is connected with the town you’re running from. When asked your name, the realistic thing to do is give a different name so you’re not traced.

They were in town one, gave out their identity. They left there, settled in different towns, met new people and still gave out their identity. How does that happen? Saro had even met a guard and bribed him to keep quiet, so it was clear they didn’t want their cover blown. But, let’s move on.

Where was Saro in this queue?

Who knows what happened to Saro at the end of the movie?

Saro was meant to be in this queue because those 3 ghosts were waiting for him to help them cross into the land of the dead. But, we ended with Bashorun being the one taking them across.

Was Saro free from that role because Bashrorun took the death charm from him? Let’s assume he was - was Saro now going to live as a ghost forever? Because he remains a ghost, just one that can be seen with the physical eyes. How about the remaining 17 people he owed the angel?

Who will answer these questions?

Why the rush?

A lot of things were rushed, that’s why the movie failed to establish some backstories. If you’re going to do a series, settle down and do it well, add an extra episode or 2 to tighten things up.

Like giving a few scenes to show us what’s going on in the lives of Saro’s 2 wives and children.

And for Arolake, I think there’s more to her that could have been expanded. Maybe around the fact that she has a good head or that she did a good deed in her past life, that’s why she attracts wealth.

She was the one that took power from Akala, and they became the most valuable people in Ojumo village. She slept and strange spirits gave her a bag of money, no questions asked, no story behind it. Only you Arolake? What’s your secret?

I’ll leave it here and let you answer some of these questions - please drop a comment if you have more thoughts. And if you can tag Kunle Afolayan, kindly tag him, so I can blow. 😄

It's your day.

Today is a good day to reflect on all that you are. All that you've accomplished and all that you're capable of doing.

For everyday you push and reach for greatness, whatever the outcome, you're doing well.

For those times when you're in a phase where you feel stuck, your efforts are not giving what it's meant to give and self-doubt starts to creep in, know that it's not you, it's life. This life no really balance and you'll be fine eventually.

Just don't stop. As someone said, “na person wey give up na im…”, you know the rest.

For those times when society point fingers at you because they think you're not meeting expectations and the timelines they've set, don't beat yourself up.

When the pressures come mounting, to introduce a man, have a child or meet certain standards, here's a reminder to live. Don't chase what's not chasing you. Don't beat yourself over what you can't control.

And for the ‘proud woman’ moments, remember to record your wins no matter how little. The passing comments where your boss says, you've done well or when you finish a 2hour course after 1 month - it's a win and a reminder that you're doing it.

For when Nigeria tests the limits of the strong and independent woman in you, don't forget to test it back. Take a break sometimes, replenish and come back stronger.

Finally, it's okay to ask for help. When strength fails, please drop the strong woman title by the road and call for help. And if you've got what it it takes to support a fellow strong woman, go for it. You win, they win, everybody wins.

If you've read this far, take a moment to celebrate the woman that you've become and the woman you're growing into.

Celebrate the women in your life by sharing this post with them.

Happy International Women's Day!

Dear GenZs and Millenials, do you sometimes wonder why it all changed when it got to our turn?

How most of our parents could live comfortably with kids and build houses with a 100k salary, but you can’t afford to rent a house or save if you earn that now? How a 500k salary will still require you to do a lot of permutations and calculations at the end of the month?

How you wake up at night sometimes and think of the most random business ideas. “What if I become a bus conductor? But, Mishai will not be bad or maybe Okrika business”.

Now, this is not about the Nigeria problem. This is about the state of GenZs and Millenials all over the world.

I know we have it worse in Nigeria - your N1million salary has become less than $600, businesses are struggling to survive, japa trend is on the rise and young people fleeing to seek a better life in other countries.

But here’s a shocker, GenZs and Millenials all over the world are asking the same questions and dealing with the same struggle.

The cost of living keeps rising. They can’t afford to buy houses like their parents did. They are struggling to save just like you, living in shared apartments, clearing up student loans and working multiple jobs just to afford their everyday living.

Here are thoughts from some Millenials that I got to speak with:

The question is, will it get better? Or will it get worse for the next generation? Will salaries increase to keep up with rising inflation? Will more businesses survive?

Nobody has answers to these questions. I also don’t have motivation for you because I’m a millennial myself wondering why it has to be us. Wondering if we can go back to the old times or bring back trade by barter.

Whether you live in Nigeria or the abroad, know that you’re not alone - we are all in this struggle together. Take it one day at a time. Don’t stop thinking about those seemingly dumb business ideas. Keep looking for side hustles and doing what you can to survive. Upskill and take up new tech skills. Negotiate for better pay. Don’t stop looking for opportunities to earn more.

If you can’t afford a house, you can afford food - please eat and relax. Any money wey I get now, na enjoyment. And if they ask you why you are not saving, tell them you’ve saved yourself - that’s enough.

Check up on friends, send someone urgent 2k when you can - don’t let anybody bill you, remind them we are all in this together.

Don’t forget to pray - go to church if you’re a Christian and go to mosque if you’re a Muslim. Say your daily affirmations. In all you do, don’t think about it too much - keep your sanity intact. Don’t let inflation choke you, because you sef go make am.

Till next time!

Tell us a little about yourself and what you do
I am a goofball, a storyteller, and an incredibly silly boyfriend to Omolabake.

Share your journey to becoming a Creative. Was this a childhood dream?
Nope, it was something I picked up pretty late, in my late twenties, a slight knack at the time made me delve in fully. It was all hunger rather than passion at first.

What inspires your creativity?
A cold brew, long walks, and riding on Danfos.

What's your favourite Nigerian brand and why?
There are a lot of great brands out there. I'd say Guinness, though. It’s a brand I guzzle a lot, and, most importantly, it’s one that’s stood the test of time and remains relevant. It’s one of the OGs. It’s also an ardent preacher of the black narrative; a narrative hued from the dark tint of the beer.

What's that one Lagos-Danfo encounter you won't forget in a hurry?
Trading cusses and swear words with a conductor, and pulling my dreads to show him I am a total nut case, one not to be messed with.

Got an adulting hack that has worked for you?
I don’t know, it’s a blur right now. Can’t think of any, but I know to take Uber when I am overly dressed, that’s one hack that works great for me especially when I am wearing a white fit.

If you were not a Creative, what career path do you think you would have taken?
Maybe a writer, or selling bosikoro.

What advice would you give a newbie stepping into Nigeria's advertising/marketing/creative industry?
Be open-minded, learn, interact and visit the trenches once in a while, there is so much to learn on these streets.

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Got a story? I share the everyday experiences of Nigerians at home and abroad on this Substack. If you’d like to be interviewed, please leave a comment or email christieuzebu@substack.com. I’ll be in touch within 24 hours.

Wednesday’s match was also one for the books, it’s hard to ignore.

AFCON started on a low, with Nigeria playing with Equatorial Guinea. Then we faced Ivory Coast, Guinea-Bissau, Cameroun and Angola, skillfully beating one country after another.

Excitement kept building as we drew closer to the finals - trust Nigerians, we know how to infect ourselves with excitement. The energy and excitement peaked and spread like wildfire during the quarter-finals against Angola, even babies could feel the heat.

The semi-finals came, we met with South Africa, did our thing and won AGAIN.

And the joy? We rejoiced like we’ve won the AFCON. I’ve never seen Nigerians this happy since Peter Obi’s campaign.

Dear Nigerians, now that we are onto the finals, we can’t afford to lose.

How do we face Ghana, South Africa and other African countries?

A wholesome football season is a mix of watching the live matches and joining or following the banters online. If you’ve been watching the AFCON matches just on TV, you’ve been missing out on a big part - the Twitter bants.

Winning one match is big deal. But winning several matches back-to-back? You have to lose your cool, and that's exactly what we did.

While we didn't play against Ghana, most of the banters were targeted at them. Someone had to take the hit for the francophone and non-English speaking countries that we played with.

Our pride increased with every win. We let them know that the sound of generators might be a music genre in our country and our leaders might not have a chance at winning a leadership award, but we remain the best. We won these matches, nothing else matters.

After all of these banters dear Nigerians, we either win or win. If we don't, we might have to move to another planet.

But on the bright side, I know that whatever the outcome, you can't shame the shameless. We always have a comeback.

We have to win it for the lives that were lost

The semi-final wasn't for the faint-hearted. The tension, near-misses and scares were at the highest-levels, leading to 4 deaths. May their souls rest in peace.

This right here is why we can't afford to lose this AFCON. Dear Super Eagles, do whatever it takes - do it for all of them.

But dear football fans, how do you do it? How do you handle the tension every football season? You go from Premier League to Champions League and others pockets of football tournaments, enjoying every single game while managing the tension. Please share secrets

We need to forget our problems for a while

In the middle of the fallen naira value, increased prices of food and all the inflation problems, having some wins here and there is what keeps us going.

Some call it ‘suffering and smiling’ , but I call it coping mechanism. It was a semi-final win, but we rejoiced like had the cup already. We love our wins, big or small.

So, dear Super Eagles - in all you do, bring that cup home. We can't go from joy on Wednesday to misery on Sunday. Do this for us.

And dear readers of Diary of a Random Nigeria, pray for the finals. Pray for the players.

Till next time! 😊

So, of course, I’m going to jump on it here.

This one is for all of us in marketing - not the regular ‘of course’ videos on your timelines, this is where we say our minds.

I work in Marketing…

Of course, you can’t market to me - I’ll buy when I want to buy

If you work in marketing, you can smell marketing from miles away. You can tell that the ad for a free webinar that popped up on your timeline is not totally ‘free’. It’s only the first step in a series of lead-generation strategies that will lead up to the sale of a 3-month course.

The landing pages always look like this 👇🏽

After the webinar, expect a series of emails that will try to convince and nurture you to pay for a life-changing bootcamp. Thank me later!

I work in Marketing…

Of course, non-marketers are constantly trying to teach me how to do my job

There’s always that one client, that one CEO or colleague from a department far away from yours that has an idea to chip in every single time.

Now, it’s good to share ideas and have people willing to collaborate and make your life easier - but getting a piece of advice that’s almost impossible or beyond the scope of marketing best practice from a non-marketer, and they insist you execute it because they own the business - your next thought will be switching careers.

Every marketing person has at one point thought of switching careers because of these guys. But of course, I work in marketing, I have a thick skin for trials and temptations from non-marketers.

I work in Marketing…

Of course, I’m required to perform magic

Being a magician seems to be a hidden line in a Marketer’s job description. From the client that wants 5000 Twitter followers in one month with zero marketing budget to the one that wants to be on the first page of Google in one day, marketing will test you.

In this case, you have the choice to pretend to be a magician and get the job or give the client a pep talk that you don’t have the recipe to perform that magic and risk losing the job - your choice.

I work in Marketing…

Of course, weekends don’t exist

Whether you work in an agency, own an agency or work on the client side, our weekends are not ours. We might scream ‘Thank God, it’s Friday’, but deep down, we know how we are spending the weekend

While you might not be working actively and carrying a laptop around, your eyes are constantly on your company’s social media pages so nothing takes you by surprise, you’re thinking of the big launch or campaign your company has been planning for the last 2 weeks or you’re drafting an idea in your mind for a new trend your company needs to jump on.

Really, what is a weekend?

I work in Marketing…

Of course, I have to jump on trends

A trend never passes a Marketer by. We get our brands involved in every trend and conversation happening in the country - because, how will people notice us?

So, you see why the weekend is never an option for us?

Do you work in marketing? Which of these do you relate with the most and what did I miss?

Leave a comment

N:B - I share the everyday experiences of Nigerians at home and abroad on this Substack. If you’d like to be interviewed, please leave a comment or email christieuzebu@substack.com. I’ll be in touch within 24 hours.

Tell us a little about yourself and your journey to moving to the UK

An interesting fact about me is that I’ve always liked school (maybe not that interesting). I was one of those children who couldn’t sleep the night before school resumption and never wanted to miss school for anything. So, it made sense I’ve spent almost all my life studying and I’ll have my PhD very soon (yes, time moves fast, it’s unreal).

About my journey to the UK, this will sound funny, nerdy or just a pipedream, but I’ve always dreamed of finding a cure for incurable diseases since I was young. At first, it was HIV/AIDS because it was the most popular one when I was younger, so my average daydream was to find a cure for HIV.

Towards the end of my undergraduate, I developed an interest in Cancer research by divine intervention (but that’s a story for another day). This is what led me to do my Master’s degree in England and after 4 years of rejections, tears, faith and trust in God’s Words, I started my PhD in Cancer Biology in England.

As a Nigerian in the UK, what do you consider the biggest challenge when it comes to adapting?

I want to say the weather but I don’t hate the boots and winter jackets. Seriously now, I think one challenge many people might face is not integrating themselves into the culture. By this I mean, having only Nigerian friends, attending only African events, and just not making the effort to understand other cultures and just living in their bubble of Nigerian culture.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to have your tribe and they can all be Nigerians but it’s not easy to adapt to what you don’t understand and understanding requires at least a bit of effort.

What has been your biggest culture shock since your move?

The first is drivers don’t blast their car horns unnecessarily like we do in Nigeria. I can count the number of times I’ve heard a car horn where I live, unlike Nigeria where we use our car horns for different purposes.

Oooh, this is funny but what comes to mind right now is how people in the UK feel the need to make a funny smile when they lock their eyes with someone. If I don’t know you and I don’t have an intention to say hi, I’ll just look away, but they can’t seem to do that for some reason and they make a weird smile which I just can’t seem to get used to.

Would you have taken it if you were given the option to do your PhD in Nigeria on a scholarship?

No, I wouldn’t because my goal of moving out of Nigeria is not the japa goal of a typical Nigerian. I believe in living an intentional life and I know that the only way to achieve my goals in cancer research is to study outside of Nigeria because we simply don’t have the facility or support to do the kind of research I want to do in Nigeria.

So it’s not about Nigeria or about getting a PhD, it's about doing what I know I’ve been called and gifted to do and putting myself in the best environment to thrive.

What’s the one thing you miss about home?

I’ll be honest here, it’s Viju Chocolate and buying jollof rice at my favourite spots.

What changes do you think need to occur to reduce the japa trend and for young Nigerians to stay back home?

There’s a whole lot but I’ll speak to what relates to me as a scientist. Any time you see or hear of someone who graduated with a First class or anything related, the next step is a scholarship abroad. Nigeria is losing the best talents and people who would have contributed to developing the research and development in the health sector because there are no reasonable budgets for research and there are no facilities to support adequate research.

I did a postgraduate study at a university in Nigeria that I believe is one of the best in terms of possessing pieces of equipment, facilities and more importantly, collaboration with international bodies to produce excellent research, but they are still nowhere close to where we ought to be and to be honest, not a lot of people can afford them.

So, for me, Nigeria needs to realign her priority to keep someone like me who just wants to contribute to cancer research and is not willing to be limited by the myopic leaders we have.

Based on your experience, how would you describe the difference between adulting in Nigeria and adulting in the UK?

I’ll tell you what, I honestly believe that people grow up faster in the UK than in Nigeria. The average Nigerian does not understand the concept of part-time work while studying and the average Nigerian parents support their children through university so we don’t have to think of working extra hard to get a university scholarship, student loans or working part-time to support ourselves in university.

I believe that allows them to become responsible faster and to also figure out how to have a good work-life balance later in life faster than the average Nigerian. 

If you were not a Scientist, what other career paths would you have taken?

Hmmm, I would probably be in the project management field or anything related to it. I’m a very meticulous person. I like to keep accurate records and ensure things work as they should (which comes in handy as a PhD student. I had no idea how vital that skill was until I started my PhD).

So, something that allows me to plan, implement and see the results of my work would be an alternative career path for me.

When you’re away from the books, how do you unwind?

I watch movies, comedy series or kdrama. The idea is to have a fun escape from reality, so I rarely watch anything too serious.

Leave a comment

N:B - I share the everyday experiences of Nigerians at home and abroad on this Substack. If you’d like to be interviewed, please leave a comment or email christieuzebu@substack.com. I’ll be in touch within 24 hours.

Well, I think today is a good day to talk about it.

I got a few colleagues to share their thoughts and some ghetto moments they've had working in marketing, and it's hilarious.

E.U - Account Manager, agency

Preference: Agency. For now, I haven't gotten the opportunity to be on the client side so I can't say too much. But working in an agency is fun and tasking at the same time.

The drama that comes with working in an agency is a lot. But I guess that's what makes the work fun. One of my ghetto moments happened last year December. We did a giveaway campaign in September and the winners were supposed to get their gifts before we closed for the year.

A few days after we closed for the year - at the peak of the Christmas holidays, I got a call that the gifts should go out before Christmas. This was already 3 days to Christmas, I just told them that this was no longer a December problem, and as a matter of fact, it was now a January problem.

After a lot of back and forth, calls here and there. I sent a message across that I was already at the airport to my village for the holiday and turned off my phone. The matter was settled by January, the winners got their gifts and the client was happy. Las las, you need a touch of madness to work in an agency.

D.O: Graphics Designer

Preference: Agency. It offers the opportunity to work on multiple briefs/ideation.

That one ghetto moment: All I knew was I wasn’t allowed to present or talk with the client for a while cos I went off on one during a call.

C.A - Creative Director, agency

Preference: Client side

As one who has worked on both sides of the divide…

1. Talents work primarily on ONE brand, or related brands… Hence, you’re working with a singularity of thought.

2. The pay is higher, so is the respect for your time… little/no weekend jobs or overtime hustle.

3. Other benefits are actually paid Most agencies have Pension, Tax, etc on your gross financial breakdown but RARELY pay.

Client Side has its CONS though - Little or No teamwork, less interaction cos departments differ, etc.

T.K - Brand & CommunicationManager

Preference: Client side. It offers career growth and prospects.

That one ghetto moment: The client was already leaving the business and I intentionally did not post their democracy day creative.

T.O - Brand & Marketing Manager

Preference: Client side. It allows you to understand the brand and product better, which aids your marketing strategy.

That one ghetto moment: When I wasn’t given accommodation allowance for a 1-week’s activation. I slept on the floor all through the event.

S.J - Graphics Designer

Preference: Agency. I have not tried the client side so I wouldn’t assume it’s better.

That one ghetto moment: This didn’t happen to me, but a colleague fought with my boss's wife at work because she wanted to keep him at the office after closing hours for a meeting, even though he told her that his mum was sick at home.

A.A: Marketing Lead

Preference: Client side. It's tougher being on the agency side especially if one is unfortunate to work with cantankerous clients.

That one ghetto moment: When an agency lost out on a potential gig because their representative gave a false report & their boss didn't verify it before pulling out of the pitch. They stood a high chance of clinching the deal but due to a negative sentiment, they lost out.

For me, if I had to make a choice - I don't think I have a winner. I sincerely love working on both sides and I'll be sharing my experiences over the years.

From that first interview after NYSC that was held at a Chicken Republic somewhere in Akoka, Yaba to finding myself in newsrooms and courtrooms chasing news stories just because I studied Mass Communication, to landing in marketing, surviving the agency life, becoming a client and then becoming an agency, I’ve lived it all.

All of those experiences over the years have shaped me, and nothing takes me by surprise anymore - agency workload, toxic clients, the ‘CEO/Marketing Manager’ who wants you to execute all of his ideas whether they make sense or not - every experience makes up what it means to work in marketing.

Working on the agency side:

Even though I started out working on the client side, things got serious and my career started to take shape when I got into an agency. Life in an agency naturally increases your versatility.

Maybe I’m weird, but I loved the speed and fast-paced work environment. This minute, you’re crafting a story for a pharmaceutical brand and the next minute you’re talking real estate. That prepares you for anything!

Let’s not forget how your work rate becomes on overdrive. You’re thinking fast and churning out quality work within short deadlines. Working on 5 to 10 brands at a time, with clients constantly sharing feedback and making new demands is no child’s play. Doing that consistently for just 1 to 2 years will surely give you an edge anywhere.

There’s also the calibre of brands you get to try your hands and what it does for your CV. Over the years, I’ve had to work with global brands like Nivea, Siemens, Prime Video and tons of others.

Working in an agency surely gives a lot and I’m all for marketing newbies starting their careers in agencies if they can. I think it gets you ready.

Working on the client side

I had a culture shock when I made the switch from agency to client-side in 2021. I was coming from working on overdrive, full speed without breaks to entering a work environment where people took their time to work.

My colleagues could not understand whenever I complained about their energy. Our energies weren’t matching. Mine was constantly high, there always had to be something to do - and if there wasn’t, I made sure I created work. “You people cannot be sitting idle like that”. There was the case of a graphic designer doing 2 designs per day. 2 designs? When agency designers were creating nothing less than 15 daily.

It took some time to adjust to the slower work pace.

The wide marketing experience it offers is why I’d always love the client side. Unlike agencies where you’re a specialist, either just being an account manager or just being a strategy person or doing just paid marketing or content. You can be all of it on the client side. While some companies have better structures where you’re not an ‘Octopus’, some others will have you being a PR Specialist, Event Executive, Paid Marketing Specialist, Data Analyst, Social Media Manager, Email Marketer and more.

It also gets you familiar with the business side of things. You’re right inside the factory where the work is done, not working as a third party waiting for a client to feed you with company updates. You get to see the numbers, know how your work is influencing those numbers, and collaborate with every unit within the company - you’re marketing, someone somewhere in a department you never knew existed will always come calling.

And finally, work-life balance - you can spend your evenings and weekends on your personal life, not constantly thinking about work or a client who’s giving you sleepless nights.

Whether you currently work in an agency or on the client side, they both have their uniqueness. Enjoy every moment you spend working there. The good, the bad, the ghetto - each experience comes together to form your career story.

Till next time!

Leave a comment

N:B - I share the everyday experiences of Nigerians at home and abroad on this Substack. If you’d like to be interviewed, please leave a comment or email christieuzebu@substack.com. I’ll be in touch within 24 hours.

If you're a ‘random’ Nigerian and you'd like to rant on this space, reach out via email or the comments.

No, this is not a ‘do not japa’ or ‘build your country’ piece, I’m not built for that. This is more of a ‘one-thing-to-do’ before you japa.

Amidst all the frustrations you experience and all your wondering about where exactly Nigeria is headed, take time to enjoy these ‘luxuries’. I call them luxuries because you won’t find them where you’re going to seek greener pastures. Before you make that move or even start your plans, appreciate these little things, and hug these guys because you’ll miss them.

• The luxury of shopping anywhere

Trust me, the luxury of being able to wake up in the morning, wash your face and hurry to the store adjacent your house to buy frozen foods or vegetables is underrated. Being able to shop and almost stock up your house while in traffic seems normal until you japa. Let’s not forget these guys that serve us fresh fruits at every street corner.

Reality sets in when it’s time to cook a small pot of stew, you’re out of tomatoes and pepper and you realize your roadside shopping is gone. Guess what? You’ll need to dress up like you’re going to an event - and if it’s winter, that’s worse. Next, you’d need to book an Uber if you don’t have a car and the closest store is not close to you. But if you like to use your legs, walking 10 to 15 minutes is an exercise for the day.

All this for a small pot of stew?

• The nice weather

Now is the time to bask in the naija weather as much as you can. Don’t complain of the heat, please - enjoy it because you’ll miss it when winter hits you. Switching from having such nice weather all year round to being able to enjoy that warmth for only 3 to 4month every year takes some getting used to.

If you love evening strolls, they’ll no longer be strolls as usual - you’ll have to dress up to take a stroll - and this is after you have done some permutations on how best to layer up.

In all you do, before you take flight to that country that has haunted you for so long, throw a little kiss to this beautiful weather you enjoy.

• Dispatch riders

Should we talk about all those times you want to surprise your friends or family members, you do a quick call or go to an app, and within the hour, a dispatch rider is in front of your house to pick up. Or you’re a small business owner and you have the plug to all the dispatch riders in Lagos who help to keep your business alive.

Don’t underrate the luxury of having these guys, because if you have japa plans, everything you know about deliveries will be changing. You’ll have the choice to either use an Uber or a post office. If you’re the buyer, you’ll most likely be going to pick up your item yourself, because no one really has that strength.

So, what will it be? Give the dispatch rider a little tip when next you get a delivery or complain about how long the delivery took? I’ll let you decide.

• Real estate

If you don’t own a house yet, you probably own a land. And if you don’t own any, you’ve probably lived in a family house at a point in your life. You know how it goes - you buy land, build a house, like whenever you want - just have money.

If you’re a millennial or GenZ, you still probably can’t relate. I know we are all broke because inflation has us in a chokehold. While our parents had built their first houses when they were our age, it’s no longer business as usual. But, that’s not why we are here.

Real estate is a different ball game when you japa - you’re either buying a house or forgetting the dream of ever owning a property - there’s no land buying and house building on every street corner.

So, while you’re here, don’t underrate this luxury, invest if you can. And if you can’t, buying a house abroad is also not a bad idea - again, just have money.

• Informal workers

I think these guys are the most underrated.

An average Nigerian household has a maid who tends to the kids and helps out around the house because their parents are working professionals. Growing up, there was Ekaette, Etim, Juliet and a few others. All it took was a call to your hometown to ask if they could send someone to help or asking a neighbour if they could recommend anyone.

If you’re a bit richer, you’ll have a cook and a gateman.

Now, that’s one category. There’s the second category - you get home and your generator is not starting - the next minute, you’re on a call with your generator man to come and check it. He arrives within the hour and light is restored. Or your car develops a fault, and with one dial, your mechanic arrives to save the day. The list goes on - there’s the plumber, electrician, dry cleaner and more. You will miss them all.

Here’s how it’ll go when you arrive in your dream country - you either do all your house chores yourself or you advertise your opening in a classified like the image below. Imagine looking for a nanny on Jiji.

For the little handy works around the house - plumbing, carpentry, electricity, you might like to develop some skills or if you choose not to, you’ll be hiring one from one of the many apps where handymen advertise their services and paying them by the hour. And if you need a mechanic, it’s not a one-dial. Nope. Neither can you just drive in - there’s a structure in ‘the abroad’. You’re either calling to book or booking on a website. For a mechanic? Yes, for a mechanic.

With these few points of mine, I hope you’ll be valuing those informal workers more than you used to.

What other Nigerian luxury did I miss? Share in the comments.

Can you share your journey to becoming a medical doctor in Nigeria? What are some challenges you encountered on the way?

The journey of becoming a Doctor started when I was in JSS2. I was good in science subjects, usually one of the top in my class. I was speaking with my Mum and told her I’d like to be an Engineer, she told me, “being an Engineer would be stressful, why not be a Doctor? It’s less stressful”. Those lines stuck with me.

After my Junior WAEC in JS3, my school principal held a Career symposium for us and asked each of us what we’d like to become and the reason.

When it got to my turn, I said I’d like to be a Doctor because it doesn’t involve so much stress. My principal looked at me and shouted, “AH! You must be a joker, being a doctor is the most stressful thing there is”. I didn't believe him, I believed my Mum, only to be rudely shocked on getting to Medical school.

The books we’re usually meant to cover for a session are usually twice or thrice the size of an Oxford dictionary. The most challenging thing for every medical student is usually scaling through to the next level. A lot of our friends were dropped along the way because of the rigour of the course. Starting lectures at 7 a.m., going for postings then coming back to campus again for evening lectures that’ll usually end around 6-7 pm, and yet you’re expected to read and prepare slides as against the following day.

Doing that Monday to Sunday week in and week out will take a toll on the mental health of an average person. I know of colleagues that had to be admitted into the psych ward at some point. It was a very stressful experience.

What was your biggest shock when you started practising?

The biggest shock when I started practising was the way Nigerians undermine health professionals. That’s the reason many of us are leaving the country to climes where our efforts are being recognized. As a doctor you don’t have off days - public holidays, festive season, or New Year's Day, you still have to be at work. A lot of us put in long hours of work and are paid meagre salaries at the end of the month. 

Do you ever regret your career choice or think you could have studied something else in school?

No, I don’t regret my choice of career. There’s a fulfilment that comes with a patient going home well, who probably would have died should you have been absent. There’s a fulfilment in saving lives.

But yes, there are times of self-doubt, the fact that normal people are sleeping at 2a.m but you have to be up because a woman is in labour or someone just had an accident. We work round the clock, so at the point of exhaustion, there’s always that feeling of who sent me to do this.

Then seeing your mates who probably did a 4-year course, work 9-5, and don't work late at night or weekends but earn much better than you’re doing also always brings that feeling of, “what am I doing in this profession?”

A lot of medical people are taking the japa route. Do you blame them and do you have such intentions?

Yes, I very much have such intentions. And I’ll encourage as many that want to, to also leave as well. A starting medical practitioner in the UK earns a lot more than a professor in medicine after more than 30 years in the practice. Doctors in the US earn almost 30x more than a specialist would here in Nigeria. Let the government of the country get its priority straight. Until then, anyone who wants to leave should please do so.

What things do you think should be in place that will make the lives of doctors better?

Doctors in this country are overworked and underpaid.

First of all, there should be a refurbishment of the healthcare system in the country. It’s difficult working in an environment where you know what to do to save a patient but the resources are not available. I’ve seen tertiary hospitals where oxygen is not available, and that’s supposed to be the highest level of healthcare in a state. I’ve seen situations where doctors have to donate their blood to save a patient’s life because the blood bank is empty.

Resources needed to make work easier should be made available. The Government should look into welfare for doctors and make the pay more attractive, to be able to match the level of work being put into saving lives.

Share your funniest encounter since you became a medical doctor

While doing my housemanship, there was a woman who worked at the lab that I had a little misunderstanding with. She was out to make my life hell whenever I needed things to be done in the lab. The night she was to put to birth, I was the doctor on call, it was my turn to laugh…lol

How do you stay sane in the midst of these?

There's no one method to staying sane in this Profession. Different people employ different means.

But it's something one must be intentional about. While working, the moment I start feeling exhausted, I don't usually care about the no of cases left to attend to I go somewhere to hide and rest for an hour or so. Because the truth in this Profession is the moment anything happens to you your replacement will come that same day and everyone moves on like nothing happened.

So being intentional about self-care is very important.

As doctors, we try to take on more tasks than we usually can handle just to make ends meet. A no of doctors work in at least 2 to 3 hospitals.

Being intentional about caring for yourself is the way to go.

If you were to take on a more fun career alongside being a Doctor, what would that be and why?

Writing.

I love writing, I love to play with words, and I love the use of words. I love the creativity required for it.

So writing will be top on my list. I've served as a writer in different capacities, but being a doctor hasn't afforded me the luxury of the height I'd like to attain in my writing pursuit.

N:B - I’ll be sharing the everyday experience of Nigerians at home and abroad on this substack. If you’d like to be interviewed, please hit reply and I’ll be in touch within 24 hours.

If you're a Nigerian and you'd like to rant on this space, reach out via email or the comments.

Till next time! 😊

Some of you have adopted the mantra, ‘no gree for anybody’, ready to fight for it, grab for it and run with it in the new year, as your president did.

I like that you have the new year all planned out and you’ve chosen to be a new you. Whether you’ve chosen the steps of Tinubu or Peter Obi, that’s not why we are here - I’m here to help you and jump in a bit with some things you might have missed adding to your list of New Year resolutions.

It’s a new year, and in all you do, choose to be a better person for all of us - choose not to stress us and yourself.

Are you ready?

This new year, consider trashing these 5 things:

1. Borrowing without plans to pay back

I know you’ve prayed, and it’s going to be a better year where you won’t be borrowing. But, just in case - if you’re going to borrow from friends or family members, please be sure to pay back.

The last year wasn’t good for many lenders, I had to console a couple of people who didn’t know what else to do because the one who borrowed was adamant about paying back what they owed.

Now, I’m not talking about the category of people who truly don’t have the money to pay back yet, these are the ones that have the money and can comfortably return what they had borrowed.

Is that not witchcraft behaviour? Please trash it.

2. African time

See, some of us are Americans trapped in an African body and when you say your event is 6 pm, we’ll get there at least 15 minutes before. Start your event when you say it’ll start because deep down, we are only here for the jollof and small chops.

Even if we are just 3 in attendance, start like that and when the others arrive, the event would have ended - that way, we all start learning how to trash African time from our culture.

3. Underdelivering

I don’t know which one sets me off between those who borrow without paying back and those who grossly underdeliver.

Imagine doing the job you hired someone to do. I've seen this too well and I think it’s an issue that needs a quick fix. If you’re going to take on a project, be sure you’re up for it. Be sure you have the required knowledge, don’t ‘fake it till you make it’ on people’s businesses.

Don’t say you can do it and mess it all up because really, it won’t end well and you’ll only be hurting your reputation. Let’s do better in 2024.

4. Ghosting applicants

This one is for HRs. Imagine going through a 5-stage interview and then being ghosted after the last stage. You follow up and you’re aired. It’s like meeting someone new, going on 5 dates and they suddenly air you.

If a candidate interviews, it’s only normal that they get feedback on how that went - you established a relationship already, let them know you won't be taking the relationship to the next level.

Dear Nigerian HRs, do we agree to trash this behaviour in 2024?

5. Service before payment

This is for creatives and anyone who offers a service. Working before you get paid is bad behaviour, don’t do that to yourself. When they say, ‘keep working, I’ll pay up’, remember your New Year mantra.

I learnt this the hard way very early in my career, so I’ve had a rule for years to always get paid before kicking off any service and everyone has been happy. If you can’t get full payment, push for at least 50% and then the balance when you’re close to completing the project.

There were quite a lot of stories in 2023 of freelancers and creatives calling out people who failed to pay for services rendered, and it’s apparent that there are people out there doing this intentionally to get free service.

Dear service providers, please collect your money. No gree for anybody.

This is the end of my rant.

As you enjoy the new you in 2024, please don’t forget these if you've been subbed. If you have a list of behaviours people should trash in the new year, share them in the comments and I may be back with an extension of this list.

N:B - I’ll be sharing the everyday experience of Nigerians at home and abroad on this substack. If you’d like to be interviewed, please hit reply and I’ll be in touch within 24 hours.

If you're a random Nigerian and you'll like to rant on this space, reach out via email or the comments.

Till next time! 😊

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And then, seeing the costs of our everyday products and services go up right before us, GSK and PG exiting the country. Crazy, crazy year!

This is a visual image of where we are now. 😅

I felt this the most with Uber and Bolt rides. A trip that will usually cost between N1,200 -N1,500 on those platforms and N150 with danfo, now reading between N2,500 - N3000. For what?

While the hustler in me would rather fly Danfo buses than take that trip, working remotely for over 3years surely turned me into a baby girl who’s too lazy to walk down from her house to the bus stop. So I contemplate a bit, think about the long stroll to the bus stop with my legs - and within the next 1 hour, I’m in a Bolt ride crying about the cost inside. 😭

Major highlights for the year ✈️

This was the year I took my first international flight. Now, while this is good - no one told me how stressful travelling from Nigeria is. The long queues, long airport walks, and endless immigration checks while pulling a bag behind you. Is that what you people go through when you say you’re going on a vacation?

Nah! I can’t be a tourist. And for those that add visiting 10-20 countries to their bucket list, this is how I’m looking at you.

Brands I worked on

In case you didn’t know, I tell brand stories. In 2023, I managed some small businesses online (social media, email marketing, public relations), but my favourites were the 2 startups I worked with - Bankly and Collect.

For Bankly, I’m super proud of the work I did drafting all the product content for their brochures, managing all the company’s branding activities, managing digital marketing and public relations agencies while directing content for all platforms (Now, this was my first - and while I had always wanted to be on the client slide managing agencies - the perfectionist in me didn’t find it funny. A post for another day).

The company also did an official launch as they became an MFB, and got a new website design as well - managing all these within a short while with an almost one-man marketing team was absolute ghetto, but I was fulfilled.

Collect has just pivoted to Account Payables, and I’m currently in charge of crafting that story - I’ll be unveiling more in a few weeks. Look out for it. 🙂

P.S - If you have a startup and you need help with PR, branding & comms, check out what I do on thesmallbusinessassistant.org - you can also reply to this email, let’s talk.

My favourite startups

This year, I had an emotional connection with some Nigerian startups and I have to give them flowers. From design to efficiency, these guys did the work and I’m here for their growth.

• Pricepally: Pricepally is a grocery delivery platform that will essentially do all your market runs. I used them a couple of times and I was wowed every single time - items were fresh, they were on time, no delivery mix-ups. And seeing they just got this really large fulfilment centre, they’ve only just got started. Please tell Pricepally I love them.

• Chowdeck: If you haven’t heard of Chowdeck, it means you love to cook your own food and you’re not part of us. 😅 Chowdeck is a food delivery platform taking the industry by storm.

The first time I used Chowdeck to order a meal, and my order was packed with Chowdeck’s branding, I knew those guys were going places. I mean, they are supposed to be a marketplace where you find restaurants - and these orders should come with the paper bag of the restaurant - but Chowdeck is doing it differently and it’s working beautifully. Should we also talk about the gamification within the app? There’s a lot to say, and chasing out giants like Jumia Food and Bolt Food is no small feat for a 2-year-old startup - they put in the work.

• Bundle: I don’t know if I should be writing about Bundle because I’m still grieving. 😢 The first thing that caught me about Bundle was its app design and how it housed a lot for user retention - in summary, Bundle was fun for me.

I’ve always wanted to try my hands on crypto trading, but it all seemed like maths - never found a platform that made it look so fun. I signed up on Bundle, bought my first cryptos, and did a few p2p exchanges - I was feeling like a pro until this email.

It was heartbreaking because I was so excited about what they were doing, and I thought they had so much potential. Whatever happened behind the scenes, all I can is thank you Bundle - if you guys choose to come back, I’ll be here to welcome you back.

My not-so-favourite startup

Shuttlers: Shuttlers is a platform that provides comfortable transportation for the working-class population in Lagos. So, they are meant to save us from all that flying danfo and fighting conductor for your change.

In April, I had to take a small break from remote work to work from the office twice a week, With my current lazy state after years of remote work, there was no way I could do the danfo stress (so, I thought). There was also no way I was going to book Bolt or Uber twice a week from the mainland to the island (we are talking 12k - 15k daily, to and fro - how much is salary?).

Shuttlers seemed like my only option - I tried it out, and guess what? I was back to taking danfo buses. 😄 First, I had to walk to the bus stop to wait for the bus - if I have to take the same trip required to take a danfo bus, what’s the point of Shuttlers?

Second, you just don’t know when the bus will arrive because they never had a working map. All you get is a notification that the driver is close by - that notification can lead to a high BP because you start rushing down to the bus stop so you don’t miss the bus. And you know what’s funny? You’ll get there and still wait for at least 15 minutes - why do I have to wait for so long? If you don’t wait so long, it means the bus has left you - the day the bus left me was the day I stopped using Shuttlers. I can’t be stressed.

Overall, the idea of Shuttlers is great, but I think they need to tighten things up.

And this is the end of our roundup! Those were the highlights of 2023 for me. How was the year for you? What were your favourites and not-so-favourites?

N:B - I’ll be sharing the everyday experience of Nigerians at home and abroad on this substack. If you’d like to be interviewed, please hit reply and I’ll be in touch within 24 hours.