Would you frown?

Smirk? That such beloved wished evil upon you?

For one thing I know man can find difficult is walking according to the tangents set by God, not the one a man set for God and kind of sweet-talk Him into putting His seal.

Is anything wrong with making our requests known unto God? Far from it, because even Scripture says we should make our requests known.

However, studying the life of our Lord Jesus, it seemed He walked according to a particular pattern. One of His patterns I remember vividly is having nowhere to lay His head.

In this day and age, God forbid I have nowhere to lay my head. But it happened one time: I had nowhere to stay for several weeks, and even, making light of it and joking, I said I had entered into what the Son of Man felt. Hence, He understands my feelings, for is He not a High Priest who cannot not be touched with the feelings of our infirmities?

But I X-rayed what could make I and Jesus similar. How would Jesus have responded in so much uncertainty?

Well, I chose to tarry at my Gethsemane and lose every strength I had in myself, and even see the somewhat position I termed cruel as God’s kindness to me. I don’t know if I did well at that Gethsemane.

It therefore brought my thoughts to the fact that at every point in time in our lives, on our journey, you will reach your Gethsemane, where you will have to lay down your ways for His, your life for His. And no, it’s never glamorous, despite its form.

It might not be the beautiful garden you see during the day. It might be a Gethsemane in the night, very dark, uncertain, gloomy, where the trees might even creep you out.

Forget the scary picture. What if your Gethsemane is plenty, and is beautiful to many outside? But it’s your Gethsemane; you know your burden in your Gethsemane.

In both kinds of Gethsemane, one can forget the reason one is there, carried away by the beautiful Gethsemane or the creepy one. The solution not to be carried away will be to always look up to Jesus, in every Gethsemane, in every Garden, and in every Season.

Nevertheless, the prayer simply is that whenever you plan to go against God’s Gethsemane and tend another garden for yourself, according to your own rules, He says no, and you adhere to move to the cross.

May you allow the Father’s will to press you in His garden, with intense pressure to bring out refined oil–the very purpose of Gethsemane.

The song I can't get out of my mind: Heart your throne by Elisha Erese.

Till next time!

Selah!

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‎Is it crouching on the floor?

‎Hugging the pillars while entering the fighting mode in Prayers?

‎Is it holding my stomach tight?

‎Crying out on top of my voice?

‎Throwing hands and legs out?

‎What is prayer?

‎

‎Because right now, you stare into the ceiling with nothing but tears dripping from your eyes, with only your heart crying,

‎”God, abeg, I don’t want this. You know I don’t want this.”

‎So right now, it’s a heart conversation

‎

‎Truthfully, you have forgotten how to be strong. It’s like you were never strong , so what is strength?

You ask yourself:

‎Do I have faith?

‎Would I have faith?

‎What exactly is faith?

‎Do I have strength?

‎What does it mean to be strong?

‎

‎And at that moment, every other thing seemed irrelevant. This is the real battle. This is the matter you are being faced with.

‎So you ask yourself again:

‎What is prayer?

‎What is Faith?

‎What does it mean to be strong?

‎Seems like you never knew and all these you will unravel by getting into the word.

‎

‎
‎Questions arise. I take a look at the evolving society, failing systems, and ask myself if it’s worth it to bet on them. They seem more sturdy because I can see them, very visible to my eyes, and I can count the cost compared to placing all my eggs in one basket.
‎
‎But my heart, it turns, it cries, it knows it can’t go on in this lie it has told itself. It’s tricky—why the turmoil in the soul? Is the soul dissatisfied with this satisfaction it has fed itself? The things of the earth looked yummy, a full-course meal with garnishes. It can’t be that it’s not the satisfying meal it painted itself to be? Was I deceived?
‎

‎So I ask: what shall I do? Because going on this route looks very apparent that one has courageously decided to forget God, doubt Him, and scream in His face

‎”Hey big man, you are perfectly incapacitated to take care of what you created”.

‎I examine the thoughts in my head: whether to stay, or whether to stay in-between. But I have concluded—maybe in-between is worse than not being there. In-between is slowly dying: hands serving, hearts far away, and equals nothing but wasted effort.
‎
‎No wonder a man cannot serve two masters. Because if a heart wants to follow God, it must agree with every fiber of its being to give its all to the cause.

‎So let the Soul pant with reckless abandon and self-denial, seeking the true and only Wise One—its Maker.
‎
‎

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Fear and compassion are gradually becoming a lost art, eroding, distinct, and like the fictional extinction of dinosaurs, disappearing, being replaced with self and haste. We ought to pause and reflect, x-raying our actions and asking ourselves: Where did my fear go? How did I get here? Why wasn’t my heart troubled? Why is there no deep heaviness in my soul when I went against the laws set by God.

But instead we smile, we brush it off and tell ourselves,

“Am I not just a man after all?”

“Abeg, make everybody go sit down, we never dey perfect.”

Our heart is not grave like David’s, fearful enough to weep at the great iniquity done against the Creator, the One who owns life. We chart our course without remorse, without batting an eyelid. We never think of why we are here.

Fear is many things to many people. To me it is to be afraid, to respect, to hold sacred and even fear can be to love in some instances. Fear is that which honours authority.

I have seen fear when nature was revealed: a deep heaviness in my chest, holding me in a chokehold. Fear can be good or bad. Fear can come in the form of holding on to dear life, not letting things go. Fear can be for the unknown.

I can’t totally unravel what fear is because I don't know it. But I know there’s good fear, a reverence, and by my upbringing it was instilled in me. My change of location is gradually tampering with it, and with all fear in me, I pray that my fear will not go away.

Compassion

A dying phenomenon. Compassion is eroding; hearts are more wicked, hearts are more selfish. It’s Me, Myself and I.

Just me, only me, all about me. It doesn’t matter what I do to get whatever. No compassion towards the younger generation, no compassion for the lost, every man to his own tent.

Are hearts grieving to pray? To cry to the Lord? Are we compassionate enough to stand in the gap like our patriarchs of faith even if unseen? Sighs. Not forgetting the compassion which Jesus had for us enough to die for us, it is supposed to be worked in us too.

Haste has ruined compassion. Accidents on the streets now seem like a hindrance to where we are going: hissing and scoffing, shouting, “What rubbish is this?” we say with zero remorse. And all that fills one’s mind is how to get to work on time. No single prayer is said for the victims.

A beggar approaches you and the default is to say, “I don’t have,” without looking, without thinking twice.

We are gradually forgetting the things that matter, and I pray God teaches us fear and compassion, tender hearts and hearts quick to dance to God’s rhythm.

Music recommendation🌚

Things that matter- Josiah Queen

Ps:After several months, a draft has been published again. I hope to see you soon and If you are new here, welcome.

Till my next letter.

Love you!

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I wanted to write to tell about how I am never satisfied and how I go up and down in my faith, about how I am right there one minute and the next I am not. About how I am convicted one moment and the next it doesn’t seem like it ever happened. But we don’t walk by feelings right?😹

I really wanted to ask if I will ever be fully convinced or whether, because it is a faith journey, I am right to interpret that scripture to mean I have to walk blindly and trust that the One who made the universe is still there, hearing me, watching me, and guiding me safely in the way.

I wanted to write about disappointments, about the thoughts that fly around in my head. I also wanted to ask if I’m not the only one who goes through this. I wanted to ask if we all go through this phase.

I wanted to write about how much I think my eyes need to be opened, how much I need to believe solely in the One who made the universe, knowing fully well He’s guiding me in Him, even if He doesn’t show “workings,” that is, what my eyes can see.

I wanted to ask if we all see people alighting halfway from this bus we all swore to ride to the end, even people who encouraged us to take a seat, put our seatbelt on, and enjoy the ride. I wanted to ask if the Holy Spirit calmly reassured you too that we aren’t their Savior, but that He is very mindful of them.

I wanted to ask if you also see your folly in some situations and question if you have really grown. I wanted to ask if you you have also been told and if you know now that dissatisfaction you feel, rightly channeled, is to know more of God.

I wanted to ask if you also reminisce and if you have seen how far you have come, how far you have changed.

I wanted to ask if you also don’t want to go up and down in your thoughts, stuck in the same cycle, loophole over and over again. I wanted to ask if you also frantically look for your Jesus, asking where He went because He was so close the other time and now it’s like you lost Him in the crowds, you let their bubbling and the man selling and advertising enticing wares distract you. Do you also frantically look for Him with tears welling up in your eyes?

I wanted to ask if the impatient you have ever wondered when it will all end. Why is the road long?

It’s funny how you know you are in the right way one time, the next minute you seem to forget what you believed in.

But deep down, you know He’s got peace, a peace that flows like a river, peace that nothing in this world could ever replace. You know Him different from the noise. You know Jesus is purging you, separating you, and giving you an atmosphere away from the noise.

You know this. Hold on to it.

All this I wanted to write, but someone asked me to hug you and whisper in your ears to not be scared. It is possible! Rest assured, if you continue in His word daily, giving yourself to attendance, making sure to obey, there is enough strength each day to keep you going. Cheers to believing.

WELCOME TO DUNAMIS’ SUBSTACK.

I am lost for words to address my longggg absence. However, i am doing, great! How about you??

On songs, I have been listening to 🤭 we have Dance by Kim Walker-Smith and God with us by Don Moen

See you sooner or later .

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It comes like a thief in the night, like a form of suggestion, a thought, a kind of reassurance that just peer into it once, one time, and that's all.

Distractions will affect you spiritually, even though it won't say out loud that it will. Just one more episode, and another, and another; each "tudum" and the fading letter "N" brings a wave of guilt, but you shake it off because you can. It goes on and on until you forget to read your Bible, meditate, falling asleep like that, each day. It goes on and on until you don't do that group assignment or finish reading on time.

You make the excuse " there's no time; days are rolling by so fast, we need, like, 48 hours in a day". When your day is scrutinized, one discovers Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Shorts and probably things holy spirit didn't send you to do took most of your day. Then you start fighting with all the deluge of information you have gathered from social media. It beclouds your mind so much; you can't even concentrate while reading. There's just this urge to open your phone and scroll, drawing you like a magnet.

Then exams approach, and because you have been distracted the whole semester, you begin to fret. You start to make faith confessions that you never exercised, you go ahead to snap notes, cramming mode activated!!!

You abstain from sin as much as possible so that perhaps God will have mercy on your poor soul. You don't eat; you read with headaches. This time is all about you, you take harmful substances and wallow in beautiful two weeks of harm to your body. No doing your exam in rest, rest is for the fool!

Distractions will lead you away from the things that really matters, it will make you forget you ought to be a Jesus student and not do academics like the heathen do. You kinda forget you are a Christian student and the more far away you are from what is expected of a Christian the more your thoughts and actions will not align with what the Lord will have you do.

Distractions will tell you, you won't be burnt; it's just for a while. Then it immerses you, it swallows your whole being, and that's so unfair because you just wanted a sip, a tip of the iceberg, they say.

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I thought long and hard about what to write, and with none forthcoming, it led me to my archives.

Let's talk about Home.

For me, Home is my mummy buying agbalumo from the market almost all the time in January and us judging the woman for her evil deeds when she sells agbalumo that slaps your cheek.

Home is my siblings visiting different houses in our community to pick fruits in different varieties—cashew in January and February, mango from March until late April avocado, and oranges in their respective seasons.

They bring the fruits in a sack, our faces beaming with joy at the arrival of the sojourner. Later, the veranda is filled with everyone sucking, eating, or licking. Pawpaw grows in our compound like a disease. On some days, you just meet them sliced on the table with no one touching it. Soursop fruit, almost a menace in the compound.

Home is me going to my friend's house to sew during the day. It's me carrying different fabrics I want to put together.

It's me teasing my friend, as she shares all the gists with me—we talk about different topics ranging from Paul's journey as a missionary, Adam and Eve’s sin or an Instagram trend.

We playfully criticize our schools, or give praises to them. Home is me complaining about Lagos' pollution and traffic to my friend, who listens with rapt attention.

Home is me asking my friend if any coconut has fallen from the coconut tree in the backyard, and if it has, I take it home triumphantly because my parents will be so happy.

Home is my mom bringing Ankara from church because the host has inawo to do and it won't be good not to show up.

Home is me crouching on the floor to cut my fabric because it's more comfortable. My constant screams at my family members who made my fabric scissors blunt by using it to cut paper.

Home is me sewing in the middle of the night with ears plugged, with no care about who is being

disturbed by the sounds.

Home is my daddy always threatening to kill my mum's big fowl. Home is me smiling at my dad so he could give me money to buy bread.

Home is me shouting at my siblings to stop leaving their school bags in the sitting room, and sure, it has become an anthem I play every day upon their return from school. It is also my siblings telling me they are tired of me and asking for my school's resumption date.

Home is my mom calling me aside to give me bread or yoghurt in secret, and of course, the coconut-laced yoghurt is sweeter when my siblings don't know about it.

Home is me judging everyone in the house and apologizing later when it was a misconception.

Home is the same dishes I have always known, slight deviation when my mom decides to try out a new dish, we praise the new dish, then completely forget to incorporate it into our regular diet—bye-bye dish, till the next 30 market days.

Home is me receiving unsolicited premium gist about every extended family member, community folks, and lots more. Home is my family.

Other times, home isn't just my family other times it's friends, it's moments, it's sisters and brothers, it's coursemates, roommates, environment, and situations. The stomach wrenching laughter's, the silly jests and unending gists. Late night chats on excitement about life.

However, I have come to realize that home is fellowship with the Holy Ghost. It is a journey to God. Home is that place you find peace, that place you know deep down you are supposed to be.

Remember, home doesn't have to be perfect because more often than not, it is not perfect, and that's perfectly fine.

While home can be anywhere, there's no place more perfect than the home found in God, the Holy Spirit, and fellowship in Him

So build your home today through friendships, fellowship, and living for God in the days of your youth.

Lastly, remember, on this journey, we are just walking each other home.

If you enjoyed this letter do share with your friends and leave a comment. Bye! Till next time.

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To the people who yielded,

To those who accepted God's love and brought in many who were due for destruction, taking them away from the kingdom of darkness. Sometimes they didn't need to preach; all they needed to do was live.

To God's generals who have yielded, even way back before we were born.

To our big daddies in Christ who have walked with God and paved the way for generations to come, serving as perfect examples for us.

To our Pastors who preach Christ to us and paint the Bible in God's light. To the big mummies who stand their ground in God's word, which makes you wonder what manner of madness could make one so strong.

To the ones who simply serve in the workforce, whose way and heart of serving the Lord has convicted and endeared many things in our souls.

To the gateman/ cleaner or the person whom society deems unimportant. Living the life not natural with the earth though a regular act to them, it being enough to convert your soul.

To our parents, whose faith seemed stupid, but they never for once blasphemed against God.

To that Uncle or Aunty whose status is filled with nothing but everything to draw one closer to God.

To that classmate whose ways will never cease to amaze one, exemplifying the fact that a young adult/teenager can live above this present world. To that roommate whose ways became a guide, even for me to know the light in God.

To that firstborn who yielded to the Lord, therefore making ways for the junior ones. To that sibling who stood out in the family and served as a tool to bring the whole family into the process of salvation.

To that childhood friend who got born again and influenced you into seeing there's nothing better to look for than God.

To the ones whose reckless abandon to the Lord position our hearts right again.

To those ministers who sing nothing but edifying songs, preparing the heart, sinking in the need to find more in God.

To those ones whose posts on social media speaks God's word to us.

Thank you! Thank you for being letters and instruments to me.

Unto Jesus, the Master and "Agba," who died to save humanity. The one who gives salvation freely. One whose goal is to make us into what he became.

We will forever be grateful.

We aren't without encouragement, we aren't without help.

We are loved.

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If you ask me to give thanks to God about anything one sure thing I will say is that thank you Jesus for “being mindful” I haven't been able to get it out of my mind that Jesus mind is full of me. I am in his thoughts. My mind isn't even full of Jesus and it just happens to pop there once in a while. I am in awe because I am so underserving of this kind of love. I honestly can't fathom it and just like one Hillsong dong, it's indescribable.

I woke up one morning with the thought of me being a love being. It kept on ringing: "Dudu, you are a love being, you have a huge capacity to love." The scenario that came to my mind was when I was watching The Chosen, Jesus and his disciples walking extra three miles for their enemy. I gasped and said, "No, not me!" I sighed. I didn't believe it because prior to that time, I have been seeing how I can be so wicked to people at times, how I don't like to reciprocate love or engage in a love walk that will stress me.

I became bitter with myself, not knowing that such things are to make me see how inadequate I am in my soul and how God wants to instruct me to measure up to Him because He is love. I further became angry at anyone who would see me and say words like ‘Dunamis, she's so sweet’. Then my tongue became sharper, and I avoided those kinds of people who, to me, were messing with my mind.

But again, in God's mercy, I woke up again one day around the first week in August and those words came again: "I am a love being." It registered: I have the capacity to love, even though I am not seeing it, it's there. I have the capacity to love Jesus, and for me personally, it begins from loving His people.

It's a new year for me to love guys, watch out! ( Don't think I am too excited, the thought alone makes me tremble, if you know what I mean)

Now, I am not gonna write about all the things I didn't do in this past year or obediences I didn't fulfill - naahhhh, they were a lot! But grateful, I grew much more on the inside. I see no insecurity as to my person in a measure. I became someone who checked intentions more. I see that I have become slower in my actions, there were times I stopped to check what I was doing if God would have me do it. Dunamis last year was so rash, I know it because it was one of my prayer points that Jesus should help me be slow to speak and not do things so brashly and if anything should be done quickly, I should be led like that. My low self-esteem is gradually disappearing, guys. I am believing in God more now, and deep down, I know he has placed me where He wants me to be.

There's this confidence in me now that God has changed me from that scared little girl who only used her smile to cover up her state of being afraid to a very bold girl who wants to love it all for Christ - maybe not so bold yet, but using places where I am lacking to help me grow has never surprised me more.

Finally, I am so happy that I am not what I was. I am a year closer to the throne, I can see commandments meted out for me already - meekness, lowliness, obedience. Scenarios for me to play it out are waiting. Lowkey, I am so happy I am still a young girl; nothing gladdens my heart more.

I am 19, going on to 20.

10 years ago I was 10, now I am old enough to realize that nothing in my life has ever been a coincidence, God has been carefully crafting it all along, I am no longer a teenager and I am becoming a young lady, who's ways of seeing things is being crafted, being remolded, I am becoming different from how the world would hope for a regular 20 year old to be, I did not develop super powers nor do I have one special talent somewhere.

My identity is being shaped, and my definition of life is definitely changing

Soon I will be 25, much better than I was at 10, at 20.

And only three things I pray:

To see thee more clearly

Love thee more dearly

Follow thee more nearly

day by day

By Jesus teaching me to live one day at a time, I am closer to the throne than I was a year ago.

#a fiery 20

#Not what we were

#aged 20 to Love Jesus.

Happy birthday to me!

My songs: First Love

Awake my soul by Brooke ligertwood

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To worsen matters, it seems as though you've tried God and religion failed. The church ruined everything. So you've even shut that off. Part of your frustration and anger is now channeled towards God with all of your pain and unanswered questions. Where was he when? Why didn't he do anything when…? Where is he now when.....?

You react to life by either avoiding as much as you can and hiding under the comedy of memes or responding with the pain in your heart when you can no longer take it. I get you. I really do. But I'm here to tell you the solution you might have probably heard a million times and the mistake you've probably been making in application of that solution. Of course God is the solution. Why? He's the only definition of anything good and HE LOVES YOU more than you even love yourself.

How do I know? It's not a coincidence that you woke up to scroll on social media only for you to be patient to read these long epistle word for word when you've probably skipped many before this. It's another medium for him to tell you that he really means it anytime he tells you that he really really does love you. You've searched around to give yourself names to just see where you fit in just for some sort of acceptance. Zodiac signs, temperament groups, anti-ambivert, extrovert, introvert, monivert, everything.... You're giving yourself terminologies from societal constructs to just satisfy an imbalance from the inside which both of us know might only be working in terms of societal acceptance and comfort. But deep down, that thirst isn't still quenched, that hole isn't still closed.... You're still fighting yourself everyday. I really say again, God is your answer

"But you've tried him before, nothing happened. It's just weaponized religion to mess with our mindset. Nobody is coming to save you, you're the only one for yourself. "

These lies from the world have messed with your mindset so much that you might have thought you tried God. I put it to you that you found religion not God if nothing changed. Religion is man's failed attempt to explain God and reach him. You might have trusted men, people, leaders and all who are all God figures and it all came crashing and you gave up... I am really sorry about this…

Your parents might have been pastors but seeing them up close and seeing the atrocities they committed asking you to keep quiet about or the ones the tried to hide which you saw and experienced might have taunted your mindset about God, but you didn't meet God.

A Religion, which many people use to define and determine their relationship with God, has done a very bad job and you'll most likely misinterpret and mistake a lot of things about God while in a religious path which would most likely end up in frustration. How then can I really meet God? Unlike how complicated the world has made it seem, it's one of the simplest things to do on earth. Believe God isn't superficial, he's real than your very breath. The stupidity of the world has limited belief to sight only.

Meanwhile, the real forces that guide the world are unseen. As how?.. Air, gravity, emotions etc. We've somehow been made to believe these things are real and we're even studying them, yet the real person behind the existence of all things has been made a mirage to us. Even people that believe in his existence believe it as fairy tale. Look at the world...

Those people that talk about Jesus too much, they do too much Jesus things for example like me (laughs) it's because it's filling that void I have been talking about. There's a joy, a glow around them which you might want to deny you aren't seeing it's just the devil trying to cover your eyes really really, can nobody do you like Jesus.

Well Jesus isn't a story in the Bible. Really, he's a person. He's the origin of peace, my peace. But the thing is, I can only tell you as much as I can about him, you'll experience as much as possible only when you believe. It's really crazy and wild to believe God (ALMIGHTY ALAGBARA GOD THAT CAN DO EVERYTHING) came as a man to die for our sins so we don't perish just because he loves us so much even unto death. But look at it, you in all your wisdom aren't better off... Instead, it's been a back and forth story deep down and a hole only Jesus can cover.

The truth? You need to believe first even before understanding, then, you'll understand what you first believed. This is no religion, this is no fantasy. Every person experiencing true peace of mind and joy and fulfillment only does that because he has Jesus. If you're waiting for money and "prosperity" to fill that gap, you're waiting for something that can pass away, something temporary, as your hope. Now that would be unwise. Sit down in that corner of your room today. Believe that there's a God right there at your front listening to you. Pour out all your heart, cry, express yourself, state all your questions, your worries... Just you and him alone.... Let all those years of boxed traumas, pain, scars... Let them out... Let them all out... Because trust Then for the first time in a long while, trust God enough to enter and take over this time.

You've tried your possible best, isn't it time to let go? Or do you have more time to waste? Tell him you want him to take over. By stating it with your mouth, it shows allegiance to his Lordship.

However, you have to believe that Jesus actually came to die for your sins. That is the foundation of everything really. Believe that HE DIED, WAS BURIED AND HE RESURRECTED here by perfection the work on your behalf. No matter how many times you've heard this, no matter how many times people have rubbished it, it's THE TRUTH.

Pour that last hanging strength you have into believing Jesus, accepting him and expressing your mind to him.... Sincerely. There are no even "ifs" cos your life can never have that vacuum with Jesus... Well, except you want it to stay and you like it.

And if you drew back, you know it's all wrong what you are doing now but you can't seem to stop and find yourself back where you used to be with God, it's fine. He will always accept you. You can read this article

I pray that you find God and that peace that supersedes human understanding would flood your heart and that healing you need would be administered accurately to you by the Holy Spirit. Shalom

This piece is not my original writing, I copied it from a status update by my coursemate and friend Eniola Zoe

Song for the season?

You guessed right, it's I Surrender by Hillsong worship

Bye, see you on Sunday!

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I have seen Him do it.

I have watched Him transform the brutal guy I used to know, the one who once used cruel words and had bad manners that left me wondering what shaped him that way. Seeing him refined, I know God can change a man.

Even one who once had no regard for God's word, the one I feared would leave the faith he's newly entered,but it's not by my fear nor my work.

I didn't believe; my prayers were tinged with fear.

'Would he?' 'would he not?'

I asked myself daily.

I can't really tell; sometimes his old tendencies still shone through, and it's as if there was never an encounter.

So I feared and tried to input moral principles for him to live by, principles sponsored by my fear.

Sighs!

I forgot: only God can change and only God can save a man.

Happy Father's Day

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You expect to be out of this very soon. Pastor will preach a message, a word will come, something will happen. You know this. But guess what?

Pastor preached your message, you weren't touched. He talked about how the hope should make you stare intently, unmoved, unchanged, etc., but you didn't change. Then you go back home, reflecting. You wanted to cry during worship sessions, but the tears weren't forthcoming, even though you were a little bit sober.

Then you see your brethren travailing to the point where they just have to lie on the floor, to you, it's just doing for show; you tried it, now it didn't work. Although you used to be like that sometimes I mean when you were still Hot for Christ.

She's shouting, pleading,

‘God, please draw me close’

You knew this because you weren't focused anymore; you were reading her lips. You wonder whatever drove you to do all those energetic things before; you just wanted to follow God by fire, by force. You weren't fazed, nor moved. You only had one hope. But look at you, your fire has dwindled; lowkey, you don't want to do this no more. You console yourself with the fact that this tiredness happens once in a while to cover up your shame.

One day, you decided to open up to someone, even though you knew what would be said already. But funny enough, he knew what you were going through, using the same words that you know. He shocked you that he goes through that stage alot too. But the mistake you made was that you stopped pushing. The word and prayer were supposed to be your anchor for you to scale through in those times. To sail on those windy storms of weariness. You can't just believe your ears . Wow!

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You went home hoping for change. At home, you started meditating, then you realized, a sudden understanding hit you - it wasn't up to anyone to help you get up but yourself. You stayed too long in this. Jesus had to encourage himself at Gethsemane; you weren't a baby anymore. Although there are times when people would have to encourage you, it's your race, not theirs.

Lo and behold, you pick up your dusty Bible and began to read.

Psalm 119:130 KJV - The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple

Isaiah 40:31 KJV - But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

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No one should judge you if they don't know the fact of the case. For real, they don't understand; your academics needed your attention. You're lagging behind, and your CGPA is screaming, 'Lagoon, lagoon!' But hers is very strong. She prays every day; you noticed. Funny how she isn't even loud when speaking in tongues. How do you know? You've seen her about three times, sometimes with her wrapper over her head on her bed, simply praying. You had early morning classes that could cost you your future; you can't be doing all she's doing. You live throughout the day, no word, no messages; you stream some messages just to add to the amount of those who streamed, although you knew you were wasting data, right? You weren't listening. But you do so everyone will see you when you liked the post, but lowkey, you were tired. You did the same for physical meetings, you didn't want people talking over your head about how the love of Christ was so tangible. Abeg, abegiii!

You used times you were supposed to pray to think far; everyone is praying to see Jesus in their lives. You believe you've gone so far away; why would Jesus answer you? Your people talked about Jesus and everything about the Bible all the time; you often changed the subject. Why? You were guilty, simply slipping away.

Anticipate part II guys.

Love ya!

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Growing up in church, our pastor would often say in Yoruba, "Give thanks, give thanks, it is the will of God for you," and the choristers would start the long thanksgiving anthem. It was a simple song, thanking God for food, water, and even the ability to relieve oneself (trust me it ain't to be taken for granted ) those that can't be relieve themselves naturally exist. These words always made me reflect on the little things I had to be grateful for, like going to sleep and waking up alive, or returning safely from school.

Now, as I look back on my life, I want to reflect on how I came into the light. In my final days of secondary school, I was a tyrant, always trying to prove I was a big girl. I remember how four of us would mount a bike, including the motorist, making five of us squeezing onto the bike. We would speed through the streets of Adofure, shouting the lyrics of popular songs by Fire boy, Yemi Alade, and Omah Lay, feeling invincible. (Listen to songs that edify guys).

My friend Shalom (God bless that girl) would often shake her head at my antics, telling me to depart from my bad lifestyle. I would make fun of her for being too religious, especially when I saw her speaking in tongues. Little did I know that I would eventually find myself doing more, don't judge me.

As I grew older, entering the university, something changed inside me. I felt a longing for something more, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Then I saw that something , met a group of youths who were seeking to know God more deeply. Grateful I joined them and have I ever regretted it?

I did at first because I kept on keeping tabs on my former mates. But when I consciously cut them off, it became better. (Your cue to cut off those relationships that can't sustain you) As time went on, I realized that I found the best place I could be: in church and in Christ. In between rising and falling, remembering that it isn't a call to stay where I am but to actually gain the life.

I read somewhere that “Grace is a love that has nothing to do with us but everything to do with the one from whom it is derived :God. It is a powerful and divine piece of our existence, and it's the only reason we are able to open our eyes each morning. God's grace is more than a second chance; it's a gift hat keeps on giving.

In this season, these words keep on recurring: “Dudu treasure what you've found, this grace, treasure it and never let go.”

Grateful

This two have been on repeat for like two weeks now.

Bye guys see you soon, I apologize for being away for so long. Well, I am back now. I promise (blows kisses and winks)

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So I wrote this last year actually, now that I remembered it. Let's have it.

On Resolution

It's the end of the year and lots of us have resolutions concerning our spiritual life. We want to make Sure 2024 isn't like 2023. We want to grow better in Christ, lots of things we want to put away, that's understandable, that's beautiful but they are lots of things we have been subscribed to for quite long and detaching ourselves from it might seem a little bit hard, like waking up first thing in the morning and the next thing I wanna do is check my WhatsApp status, check my Instagram update instead of probably listening to a message, or reading a spiritual book, praying or reading my Bible.

On Growing up

Next up, I know now that people begging me to go to church, me being cajoled to do things I should normally do, acting like a baby all the time should leave. And if I am weak my next response should be to pray for strength not complain about anything. Furthermore, wishing myself a spiritual height in the spirit without putting any effort. It's like wanting to bag an A without preparing adequately for the exams. –Unsubscribe

On Authority

Abusing or placing curses on authority from Bosses, Governor, dean's, VCs, Lecturer's, President and everyone in power we would not speak evil against authorities and even though it seems like they are just doing contrary, everyone is abusing and cursing and doing lots of other things. The only thing we would ever do is to pray for them that we would not find hatred and spite in our heart but instead pity and love that the Lord will deliver us all.

Romans 13:1 AMP - Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God [granted by His permission and sanction], and those which exist have been put in place by God.

Language

Inconvenient jestings are jestings that do not go in line with God's word. Saw some memes recently and I was so sad about them. Some memes defy authority, some memes are wrong prophecies, some memes just bring the wrong atmosphere. Ephesians 5:4 AMP - Ephesians 5:4 AMP - Let there be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse [obscene or vulgar] joking, because such things are not appropriate [for believers]; but instead speak of your thankfulness [to God

Wrong confessions and bad things we say Since time immemorial, we have subscribed to this lifestyle, of joking overboard, taking jokes that do not glorify God. – unsubscribe also, not having compassion on others because I feel I am in a more advantageous place than they are.

So 2024, no gree for evil spirit, no gree for bad habits, no gree for recklessness, no gree for doing anyhow.

Am I free from these things?

That's why I decided not to publish yet, to check me and I did for about 26 days thereabout, it is hard I wouldn't lie but with the help of the holy spirit I will and can overcome even to a measure God will have me to. So I am still praying to God for help, help so I will practice the right thing, that we would trust God to change. And live in the word of his grace.

On Learning and Unlearning.

I am learning to actually truly trust God. It seems like I don't have a hang of it at all at this point though . But I will be fine and engage. I will let go of fears and disappointments past.

People have been telling me that I do “hard guy” too much and to me I am being sweet for real. But, I will truly pray against this nature if it is one that isn't good. That I stop thinking everyone strong and see the vulnerable part of me and others ( I don't know if this makes sense). I am learning to apologize asap whether it's my fault or not. The other time I had to walk all around my hostel speaking in tongues just to go and apologize. It was painful I didn't want to but I was glad that I got heavy burden out of my mind.

Finally, this is my appreciation to everyone.

Thank you all for 2023. Dunamis newsletter clocked a year on the 22nd of January.

Dunamis Newsletter couldn't have been without you, to my 170 loyal subscribers. I love you all!!!!!!

2023 was great, 2024 will be More Beautiful.

Cheers to living like Christ on earth!

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I noticed almost everyone knows why we are celebrating Christmas this year. The message was well spread that Jesus, not Santa Claus, is the reason for the season. Instead of a normal Christmas story, I want to share with you a personal experience about a girl. Of course, that girl is me.

A girl still uncertain about some things right now, except that she has been called to inherit eternal life. I started this year going in the might of the Lord, with some new year resolutions. The plan was to finish reading my Bible, go out a lot, save a lot of money and make sure I don't stay at home throughout the year. I had always wanted to escape home, lol. I went out to reasonable outings of course, the Lord wanted my growth only. My money had to save me lots of times. Let's not go to the bible part please.

I began the year fasting and praying every day through out January and half of February I think, exploring my Bible, and reading Kenneth E. Hagin materials. I delved into the realms of tongues, wanting to understand and seek more. Some of it was for personal gains, but I did it. Fast forward, I decided to start a newsletter I had been contemplating for months. When I was sure it wasn't just in my head, I went for it. However, I wasn't bold about it.

I went back to school, still trying to hold onto the fire I started the new year with. Well, school held the fire for me. I won't lie; the atmosphere in school taught me a lot, expired some bad lifestyle I had been living, and taught me to change, sometimes not in a sweet way. I struggled with loving others , allowing others intrude in my space. I admitted to myself I also had a very bad character which I trusted the holy ghost to help me with.

I struggled with finances, love, and lots of other things so "casting your care upon the Lord" by Kenneth Hagin became my best friend. I finished the second semester, attended Gadites Bible seminar and Believers' Convention. It was very great and in between rising and falling in my relationship with Jesus. Sometimes I am all in; other times, I just want to run away.

After Believers' Convention, I felt energized and ready to take on everything, bruise the dragon's head. But as it turns out, that bad guy called Satan had plans, but Jesus had his hallelujah. I went home, became a shadow of myself somewhat, prayed when the need arose, read my Bible when I felt like it, and listened to a message when I figured it had been a while.

I got addicted to social media, surprisingly it was Pinterest and the gram (please don't laugh at me). One thing I am grateful for while I was at home was that I got closer to my parents. I am confident that the Lord helped me serve them well. I saw the human side of them, and my love for them grew.

Then my birthday came in September. I felt loved and read some birthday epistles, they got me shaking my head because I knew that can't be me, lol. Then my phone got spoilt a few days after. Trust me, I was happy. I wanted a break from that device called a phone. I had my mom's phone at my disposal most of the time, so I resumed a little social media, which was Instagram, and got drowned in it again. We gats be careful of social media o, still praying to God to get delivered.

I battled feelings of guilt, decided to always listen to messages and read my Bible and Hagin, which I did successfully throughout October, but it wasn't powered by the Holy Spirit. It was by fear, fear of losing it all. I repaired my phone and went back to school. Accommodations weren't sure, but trust senior man; he sorted everything out from finances to people, to academics, spiritual—every single thing.

Now I round up this year with a single conviction: I want to know him more, I want to truly know it. I can shout Abba's daughter, Elohim's pikin, power kid but I want to truly be it. Yes, confession is made unto salvation, but I don't want to look full on the outside and shallow inside. I want to match what's inside; I don't want to be reluctant to do God's will even though it seems dark.

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What am I grateful for this year? I am grateful for my highs and lows, my ups and downs, times of comfort, seasons of change, times when I have been exposed, times when I was helpless and realized I couldn't do it on my own. I am grateful for my plans that got ruined, all to make me see that I can never ever scale through on my own. Times where he brought me back to him. I am grateful for understanding, for his love that brought me out and is still bringing me out of bondage, out of slavery to sin.

I got closer to people, learned the meaning of true friendship. I am surrounded by people who truly care, whose main purpose is God! Christmas today for me doesn't only signify Jesus' birth or that families are together, and we get to appreciate everyone. Yeah, that's true, but to me, it signifies that this human who has done so many wrongs, this girl who doesn't even know anything yet, that God has purposed in his heart since before creation to make me more like him.

That's enough for me to hold onto. And just like Job, whatever next year has to offer, I want to surrender to his will. I am not subscribing to a baby girl lifestyle package where everything is all roses around the door. It wasn't like that for Jesus. I want to know Christ and him crucified, so whichever way he would lead me, I concur in faith. This year's present was beautiful. Let's see what next year's present holds it's gonna be a long year of exploring it all.

Happy boxing day everyone, my gift to you? Songs by Brooke Ligertwood my new found love.

Boomplay

Bless God

Every chance I get

Spotify

Bless God

Every chance I get

Kisses, A merry Christmas and a happy new year in advance everyone.

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"I am exhausted, and it's only been three days since school started. How did my predecessors manage this?" When I was in my first year, I skipped some classes because they weren't in my faculty. But now, I can't afford to miss any. After lectures, I struggle, grab a bite, and then crash. It's been quite the rollercoaster for a while now. Am I taking this too seriously? I'm writing this while half-asleep at 11:38 pm on Tuesday, knowing I have to be up by 5 am for an 8 am class tomorrow. But I am spirit right? spirits don't get tired (inserts satisfied emoji) You will receive this letter Sunday evening for sure and I won't be tired by then. So it's just a phase for that time lol.

Lately, I plan on believing in God for myself, I never believed in myself but now, I have been opened to a whole new different perspective, knowing that the Lord will use my academics to wrought something in me, because I am at that season of my life. I plan on speaking up (not locking up like I did sometimes ago in my own self-righteous) and also journeying along with the wonderful people God has placed around me.

I am learning to find contentment in where I am, I wanted things, plenty things I couldn't afford, somethings were necessary though. I just had to trust God and despite not having some things I wanted I am absolutely fine. Like Wow! How? I'm enjoying the process and recognizing the significance of giving thanks. I've learned again that grumbling doesn't help, and I aim to bless God at every opportunity. Even when I feel distant or overwhelmed, I should know I will find strength. I'm hoping for a great semester - one filled with faith. I want to remember that I can trust God at every turn, even when things get tough. It won't all be smooth sailing; I have personal nature's to be dealt with, many inward  challenges of the soul to face. But I'm confident that I'll be alright. I trust that I'll emerge from this season even more beautiful.

Bye guys, Take care.

Here's a little song that helped my heart.

Comparison kills

Bye, I love you all.

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Hi guys!

So sorry for my absence. Well, I am here right now.

I learnt something I would like to share. As humans, I guess it's just a first instinct: you have assumptions about someone before you meet them. It's natural.

For example, someone is celebrating their birthday, and you see an epistle concerning the person. What you read is what you believe until you meet the person.

If someone didn't reply to your message for 6 months, you might naturally get the impression that such a person is a snub. If someone wears glasses, you might just get the idea in your head that this person must be very proud – when infact they can hardly see you. If someone uses nice stuff, you might just get the idea that they must have plenty of money and start to get jealous not knowing such person has 5 older siblings (laughs)

The list is endless; it goes on and on.

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Well, in the past few months, I have learned about the power of assuming, of getting ideas about someone before or after meeting them. I mean, I can meet someone after my first assumption, and that not so good thing is what I still choose to hold onto; that's what I see, no other thing. I refuse to make excuses, to see the good, to see beyond that. It happens. The solution is actually hoping for the good in people, searching for it – there's something they are way better at than you while doing it. Fellowship with it. Change that bad perception; you start to walk in love towards your neighbor by doing so.

An example I choose to hold onto is Jesus Christ, he saw the good in everyone, from Mary Magdalene, to Peter, to Matthew and to Saul.

You want to be like Jesus? Well I guess you can start here.

Trust me it ain't easy, I am nowhere there. But, I am encouraged I can do it. A Pastor once said "Fake it, till you make it" in this sense start working towards it, deliberately, before you know it, you start to believe the best of everyone.

Grace to walk anew in this new season.

And for me Brooke Ligertwood's new Album “Eight” is out and it definitely ate. (screams silently)

I can't get over it, particularly Lead me to the cross do listen if you can. I hope you like it.

Bye, till next time.

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Hi guys! How are you doing?

Happy new month and Happy independence day.

I was shocked by today's date, like wow! 1st of October – how did we get here? Then I reminisced on the past few weeks, and I must say, I've realized a great deal recently. September turned out to be not like I had planned, as usual.

But still, I wouldn't say it wasn't wonderful.

You see, I always yearned for the finest days. I felt my best days were approaching, drawing near. For now, I just have to be patient. But then it dawned on me that my best days have already occurred. I have experienced numerous beautiful days. What was I thinking?

When I'm with my friends, my family, in small or large gatherings, I experience beautiful moments. You know, sometimes they may appear soooo ordinary. The best moments of my life might not align with my imagination. They could be just an average day, a rainy day, a sunny day, a day I meet someone, a day I attend a meeting or a social hangout, or a day I obey a commandment. Perhaps a day when I overcome certain bad habits. That could potentially be my best day. Interestingly, my worst day could turn out to be my finest day. Quite amusing, isn't it? Turns out It may not match the life-changing experience you envisioned.

So, yes! You, my friend, are currently relishing the best days of your life. Take a moment to ponder over it. You are living in your best days. It's not about how ordinary it may seem. It might not align with your preference, or maybe it might.

You may find yourself complaining and picturing how your life should currently appear – where you are meant to be, what you should be doing, etc. Allow me to add a note: If you feel the urge to embark on something, nobody will start it for you. Stop being lazy and procrastinating – start with modest steps. It might seem like a lengthy process, but begin with guidance and mentorship, of course. You will be glad you did (I am definitely talking to myself here).

I recently received some news, events that disrupted my plans, and I confided in a friend that dwelling on the not-so-good happenings in my life won't do any good. I would just overthink and overthink until I start throwing tantrums. I would simply start lamenting and transgressing against God. So, I chose not to dwell on it. Returning to my previous point, you might not realize it yet, but you are savoring these moments, and there are more remarkable days ahead. Don't let them slip away.

Also, the realization that I cannot navigate my life on my own is beginning to sink in. All my plans are unraveling (laughs painfully). It seems like my school doesn't know I am not getting younger, it's like they don't know I have plans. Why would I stay at home this long? Guy I am frustrated but guess what? I am starting to realize I don't own my life.

I have sang “Lord break new grounds and dig new wells in my soul” and “I wanna be tried by fire, purified.. you take whatever you desire Lord here's my life” and lots of other songs with passion and strong crying. So let him take it. Because it's self that's making me so unsettled so angry that my future will be at stake if my life continues unbalanced. This reminds me of a teaching I heard somewhere: "God has never mismanaged anyone's life, and He won't start with yours."

This is what I am choosing to hold onto.

The Prodigal by Josiah Queen and Wherever you lead has been on repeat for me for the past few weeks. I hope you love it too.

Between how was September for you? Cheers to getting God more in this new month.

Don't forget to subscribe and share if you feel like it.

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Hi Familyyyy!

Yes! I guess I might just start calling you guys family now because, for real, you are like family.

How are you doing??

I know you will say fine, but how are you really? Just think about this and answer as honestly as possible.

Recently, I have been fine and also anxious, kinda, but I let it go quickly, which is very good I guess. And lately, I have been proud of myself. And I have accepted somethings the Holy Spirit has been trying to tell me – like accepting the fact that I am the problem. I mean, I am the problem, so His work is to change me.

And also, recently, I don't like talking or talking too much, I'd say. Ion know why.

Another thing, even before my birthday, I actually felt overwhelmed, and I prayed earnestly to God that I needed a break. He arranged it, sort of, and I went on a break, and it was/is therapeutic. Yeah, searched the word more and talked to God more. Did lots of things too shaa. Currently battling with a skin problem but I will be fine.

I am resuming school in some days, and I must say I am not ready (for all the hullabaloos and stress that comes with it) And I don't want to stay at home either. But I will still be fine.

So, dear family, how are you really?

And how is this season for you???

I would love to know too.

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