When did love become something we had to prove with a price tag?

We've made love so expensive that some people no longer believe they can afford it.

Not because they don't have love to give, but because somewhere along the way, we started measuring love by receipts.

Today, love is often judged by the size of the bouquet, the ring size, the amount on the receipt, the destination of the holiday, the brand on the gift box, or the number of people who witnessed the grand gesture online.

There's nothing wrong with any of these grand gestures, but without realising it, we've made them the standard by which love is measured. They’ve quietly convinced many of us that if love isn't expensive, it isn't enough. We started believing that love had to cost money.

The truth is, we are surrounded by random acts of love every single day. We don't always recognise them because we're busy waiting for fireworks.

We Confuse Cost with Value

The world has convinced us that if something costs more, it must mean more.

While it's okay to buy something expensive to show someone what they mean to you, the most valuable things you'll ever receive cannot be purchased.

Peace.

Trust.

Loyalty.

Forgiveness.

Time.

Presence.

A listening ear.

These things have no price tag.

For example, there are two people;

One buys you an expensive watch but barely has time to ask how you're doing.

The other remembers that today is difficult because it's the anniversary of something painful you've never forgotten. They call just to say, "I was thinking about you."

Which one stays with you longer?

Years from now, chances are you might not remember how much the watch cost.

But you'll remember how that phone call made you feel.

Because love is remembered by emotion, not expense.

I've heard people say,

"I'd rather cry in a Lamborghini than in a Camry."

While I understand what they're trying to say, I've often wondered:

Why are we so quick to accept that crying is inevitable, yet so slow to pursue the things that make life worth smiling about?

Social Media Has Raised the Price of Love

There was a time when love happened quietly.

Now it often feels like it needs an audience.

Our timelines have become filled with luxury gifts, elaborate surprises, designer bags, bouquets taller than the person receiving them, and romantic holidays in places many people can only dream of visiting.

There's nothing wrong with showing the way you love.

The problem begins when those moments become the standard.

Suddenly, a simple picnic doesn't seem romantic enough.

Cooking together feels ordinary.

A handwritten note feels too small.

Watching the sunset together somehow loses value because it isn't "Instagram-worthy."

The problem begins when we start comparing our everyday relationships to someone's carefully edited highlight reel.

And comparison is one of the quickest ways to become blind to the love already present in your own life.

Maybe that's why so many people feel lonely, even while being surrounded by love and people.

What Love Sometimes Sounds Like...

Not every loving sentence begins with "I love you."

Sometimes it sounds like:

"Text me when you get home."

"I already ordered your favourite."

"You looked tired, so I picked this up for you."

"Take my jacket."

"I'll wait until you're ready to talk."

"I remembered what you said."

"I'll handle this."

"You don't have to go through it alone."

"I've been praying for you."

These are ordinary words that carry affection.

We often miss them because we're waiting for grand declarations instead.

What If We Lowered the Price Again?

What if we stopped believing love had to be expensive?

What if we celebrated consistency as much as extravagance?

What if presence became more important than presents?

What if we started measuring love by peace instead of price?

Imagine how many people would stop feeling inadequate.

Imagine how many relationships would become healthier.

Imagine how many spouses would feel seen.

Imagine how many people would realise they had been deeply loved all along, they just didn't recognise it.

Maybe we've made love too expensive because we've confused luxury with affection and performance with devotion.

The world doesn't need bigger declarations of love.

It needs people who are willing to love well, even in the smallest ways. Some of the greatest expressions of love don’t come with receipts.

They come with presence.

A phone call.

A prayer.

A warm meal.

A thoughtful message.

A hug.

A seat offered to a stranger.

A few extra minutes to truly listen.

A simple, "I was thinking about you."

These things may never go viral.

They may never be posted online.

No one may applaud them.

But they'll become someone's reason for believing that goodness still exists.

Love isn’t something to be admired from a distance but something to be lived, quietly and consistently, every single day.

Perhaps that's how we'll lower the price of love again.

Not by spending less on each other, but by giving more of ourselves.

Thank you for reading!!!

Love,

Dupe Abiona

The Difference Between Wanting Love and Needing It

At some point in our existence, we begin to ask ourselves questions about love. 

Not whether we want it. Most of us do.

Not whether we deserve it. We all do.

But whether we are seeking love from a place of abundance or from a place of emptiness.

At first glance, the difference between wanting a relationship and needing one seems small. The words are often used interchangeably. We say things like, “I need him,” or “I need her,” when what we really mean is, “I love this person deeply.”

Because one comes from wholeness. The other often comes from fear.

And understanding the difference can save us from building relationships that look beautiful on the outside but quietly drain us on the inside.

What It Means To Want A Relationship

Wanting a relationship is one of the healthiest things a person can experience.

Contrary to what the internet sometimes tells us, being independent does not mean you stop desiring connection. It doesn’t mean you stop longing for companionship, intimacy, laughter, shared dreams, or someone to hold your hand when life feels heavy.

We humans were never meant to navigate life completely alone.

When you want someone: it means you are not searching for someone to complete you. You are not asking that person to fix your life. You are simply inviting someone into a life that already has direction, meaning, goals, interests, an identity. This way you remain individuals while building something together. This way you have an identity beyond the relationship.

And because of all that, your love becomes a choice rather than a dependency. Your joy is not dependent on constant attention. Your self-worth does not collapse when there is distance or disagreement.

You stay because you genuinely want to.

Not because you feel trapped.

This is what makes it love, not fear.

What It Means To Need A Relationship

Need can be much harder to recognize because it often disguises itself as love.

Sometimes people need a relationship out of fear.

Fear of being alone.

Fear of being abandoned.

Fear of feeling unwanted.

Fear of missing out.

Fear of facing ourselves without someone else’s presence to distract us.

When a relationship becomes a need, it begins carrying responsibilities it was never designed to carry.

We expect one person to provide us with happiness, confidence, identity, emotional stability. One person to help us understand sense of worth, and that is a heavy burden for anyone to bear. 

Don’t get me wrong there are people that swear that they meet someone and that person gives all these and more, that’s good for you but have you ever thought to think how heavy of a burden it is for that one person to bear and what are you doing in return? 

The problem isn’t the support relationships provide. The problem is when they become the sole source of support.

When someone leaves and your entire world collapses.

When their approval determines whether you feel valuable.

When their attention becomes the only thing that makes you feel alive.

That is no longer connection.

That is dependence.

And dependence often creates fear.

Fear creates control.

Control creates pressure.

And pressure slowly suffocates love.

The Hidden Problem With Needing Someone

Many of us grew up believing that finding “The One” will finally make us complete.

Movies tell us this.

Songs tell us this.

Stories tell us this.

We are taught that somewhere out there is a person who will come into our lives, fix everything and everything will be made perfect. But if we are being honest with each other, real relationships do not work that way. The only reasons you see relationships like that and envy it is because they both have done the inner work (meaning they both “wanted” it).

A partner can support your healing, but they cannot replace it. They can encourage growth, but they cannot do the inner work for you. They can love you deeply, but they cannot permanently fill a void you have not yet faced within yourself.

What Being Whole Really Means

Wholeness doesn’t mean aloneness and this is often misunderstood. It does not mean you no longer need people. It does not mean you stop loving deeply.

It simply means your identity is not built on another person’s presence.

You can miss someone and still be okay.
You can love someone and still know your self worth is independent of them.

Wholeness is not perfection. It is simply knowing your worth existed before the relationship and will continue regardless of what happens.

That realization changes everything.

Love becomes less about survival and more about sharing. It becomes less about filling a void and more about building a life.

So, Instead of “I need you to be okay,” it becomes “I choose you because life is better with you in it.”

The strongest relationships are often built between two people who know how to stand on their own but still choose to walk together. Imagine how powerful it is knowing this person can live without you but still chooses you anyway. 

Perhaps the goal is not to stop wanting love. The goal is to become someone who can hold love without losing myself in it.

Because the healthiest love is not me saying:
“I need you to complete me.” Or “You complete me”

It sounds like: 

“I know who I am, I understand what I want, and I would love to do this thing called life with you.”

So, now that you have an understanding of the difference, ask yourself:

At this point or stage in my life, do I want a relationship or do I need a relationship?

Am I in this relationship because I need it or I genuinely want it?

Answer these honestly, and you might uncover a truth that shapes every relationship you will ever have.

Thank you for reading!!!

Love,

Dupe Abiona.

Where do you go when life feels too heavy?

I mean where does your mind, body and soul go when the weight of everything becomes too much to carry?

When the news is heartbreaking. When your plans aren't working out. When you're exhausted from trying. When your heart is carrying disappointments you don't talk about because you don't even know how to explain them. 

Where do you go then?

I think about this often because, if we're being honest, most of us are carrying far more than we let people see.

We wake up. We go to work. We answer messages. We smile in photos. We post updates. We continue living.

But beneath all of that, there are invisible battles taking place in everyone’s mind. 

The dream that isn't moving as quickly as we'd hoped. The relationship we're trying to make sense of. The loneliness we can't quite explain. The fear that maybe nothing is going to work out. The fear of missing out or falling behind while everyone else seems to be moving forward.

Sometimes the weight doesn't come from one thing, it comes from anything and everything.

A little disappointment here. A little heartbreak there. A little fear. A little exhaustion. A sad news. Social anxiety. FOMO. 

Until one day you wake up and realize your soul and body feels tired.

A kind of tiredness that is difficult to describe.

The kind of tiredness where you keep wondering whether things will ever get better. It's trying to stay hopeful when hope feels expensive. It's wanting a break from life without wanting to quit living.

The older I get, the more I realize that feeling lighter isn't about finding a life with no problems. There will always be responsibilities, there will always be one problem or the other to solve. But to feel light you need to learn what to do with the weight. Decide what deserves a place in your mind and what needs to be released because not every burden belongs to you. 

I personally love quiet moments so much because they remind me that life is bigger than my worries.

These moments don't always solve our problem, but they help us take the time to breathe again.

Sometimes we are exhausted not because life is impossible but because we're carrying things that were never ours to hold.

Some of the things we carry in our minds and worry  so much about are actually due to the situations in which we find ourselves which sometimes are not entirely our fault but just life even though we sometimes can’t escape it but only survive through. 

Survival isn't about having all the answers, it can sometimes look like, finding a place to rest while you wait for them.

A place where the noise can't distract your thoughts. 

A place where you can admit that you're struggling without feeling like you've failed.

Because struggling does not mean you've failed.

It means you're human. 

And we as humans are already complicated beings.

We are beings capable of carrying extraordinary amounts of hope and extraordinary amounts of pain at the same time.

We can be grateful and exhausted.

Happy and hurting.

Hopeful and afraid.

Certain and confused.

All at once.

So where do you go when the world feels too heavy?

The answer is different for everyone.

Maybe you go to God.

Maybe you go to your journal.

Maybe you go to a trusted friend.

Maybe you go inward and sit quietly with yourself for a while.

Maybe you doom scroll.

Maybe you dance 

Maybe you sing 

Maybe you just get up and scream 

Maybe you go to the sea

And if you don’t know where to go, start here: 

Take a deep breathe

Do the next small thing, not the next ten overwhelming things.

But wherever you go, remember that you do not have to carry everything at once. 

And you are not the only person who feels overwhelmed by the weight of life itself.

So many of us are trying our best.

So many of us are hoping that tomorrow feels lighter than today.

So many of us are hoping that we get good news for once.

So many of us are putting our best foot forward.

So many of us are choosing to fight for a better life.

Whenever I feel heavy or feel the weight of life, I tell myself, This too shall pass, this moment is not my whole life.

It may feel endless.

It may feel permanent.

But feelings are not forever. Don’t dwell on it. Do the next small thing to help yourself be at your best. 

Hard seasons are not forever.

One day, the thing that keeps you awake at night may become something you barely think about.

Not because life became perfect.

But because you became stronger, wiser, softer, and more capable of carrying what matters.

Thank you for reading!!!

Love 

Dupe Abiona

I have always believed that most people do not start out wanting to become hardened versions of themselves. I think we begin softly, honestly. We begin with pure intentions, pure dreams, pure love. An artist does not create for applause in the beginning. A person does not love while already preparing for heartbreak.

What I mean is that at first, things are untouched.

But then life happens.

As I grow older, I’ve begun to notice how quietly the world changes people. Not always in the loud, obvious ways. Sometimes it looks like, a person who is becoming less trusting after disappointment, someone trading authenticity for acceptance because fitting in feels safer than standing alone. 

I see people who once loved deeply becoming emotionally distant because vulnerability stopped feeling safe.
I see creatives who once created from joy now creating from pressure, algorithms, numbers, and the exhausting need to stay relevant.
I see good hearts becoming guarded because kindness was mistaken for weakness too many times.

What scares me is the idea that the world can slowly rewrite people without them even realizing it. The idea that innocence can disappear so gradually that you do not notice its absence until much, much later.

We live in a world of constant noise, social media, peer pressure, the “hustle” culture, and the expectations of those we love. Influence is like the air we breathe; you can’t opt out of it.

And honestly, if you spend your entire life trying to keep your heart perfectly “pure” by avoiding the world, you may end up living a very small life. You may never love deeply, risk boldly, fail honestly, or experience the kind of growth that only comes from being challenged.

My ex once told me he liked the earliest stages of our relationship, where i was softer, used to tell him 2 am stories with his head on my thighs, talk to be him about all the stories I’m working on and books i want to write, how he’d have the best sleep anytime I’m around and honestly while he talked I secretly missed that version of me and I still secretly miss it, because I can only imagine how pure, happy and hopeful that version of me was before it was touched by fear, comparison, rejection, heartbreak, ego, or disappointment.

And I know that version of me didn’t just disappear in a dramatic way where I’d have felt I was changing, it happened quietly, slowly, through little compromises, through pains I never fully healed from, through wanting to belong, through wanting to do better, through seeing that being vulnerable was not rewarded, through life happening to me in a way I wasn’t prepared for. 

And I think for many people, somewhere underneath the masks we wear to survive, there is still a softer version waiting to breathe again.

I think we need to understand this moving forward, that maybe trying to reconnect with the softer version of you is not about becoming someone new or going back to old ways you think were not who you really were. It is remembering who you were before the world convinced you to become someone else.

So, how do we reconnect without becoming naive again?
How do we remain genuine in a world that constantly rewards performance?
How do we survive influence without completely losing ourselves inside it?

I do not think there is a perfect answer. 
But it begins with awareness, because you cannot protect a version of yourself you no longer pay attention to.

The reason a lot of people feel disconnected from themselves is because they are constantly consuming noise. And eventually, it becomes difficult to hear yourself beneath everything else. Reconnecting begins with creating quiet again.

I think another important thing is grieving honestly. A lot of people harden because they never gave themselves time to fully process what hurt them. So instead of healing, they build personalities around it. 

Influence is unavoidable, but access is still a choice.

Not everything deserves access to your mind.
Not everything deserves access to your energy.
Not everything deserves the power to shape how you see yourself.

Softness and boundaries can exist together. Softness is not weakness. I think it’s one of the hardest things to hold onto in this world.

And that’s the kind of person I’m becoming and really hope to become. Not someone untouched by life. Not someone who has never experienced heartbreak, disappointment, or fear. But someone who experienced all of it and still managed to remain human afterward.

Someone who still believes in real connection. Someone who still creates from honesty.
Someone who loves deeply and allows themselves to feel deeply instead of turning numb just to survive. Someone soft, but still discerning. Someone kind but still able to protect her peace.

So maybe the goal is not to become who you were before the world touched you.
Maybe the goal is to become someone who can move through the world without losing the truest parts of themselves inside it.

And maybe healing begins the moment you stop asking,
“How do I become someone else to survive this world?”

And start asking,
“How do I survive this world without losing myself?”

Thank you for reading!!!

Love,

Dupe Abiona

There’s a version of your life that makes sense to everyone else.
It’s neat.
It’s predictable.
It follows a path people can easily explain, easily approve of, and easily applaud.

And then… there’s the version of you that knows the truth.
The one that tells you what you really want… even when it doesn’t sound convenient, even when it doesn’t match what people expect of you. The one that doesn’t always sound right when you say it out loud.

It’s easy to ignore the truth because being honest with yourself isn’t always easy, especially when you’re trying to figure out how to trust yourself and make the right decisions for your life.

Because by being honest, it means you…

Walking away from something that still looks good on the outside.
Choosing a path that feels uncertain.
Disappointing the people you care about not because you stopped caring about their opinions, but because you need to do this for you.

It means saying “I chose this.”
Even when things don’t go as planned.
Even when the outcome isn’t what you hoped for.

(Feel free to pause here, think, and insert what you feel being honest will mean for you… then continue)

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I think people sometimes find it hard to accept that not everyone will understand your life, your decisions, your timing, the things you choose to walk away from or hold onto. And if you’re someone who likes to be understood or wants people to like you all the time, it can get very difficult for you to navigate life.

There’s something grounding about standing by your choices. A certain peace that comes from it. It’s unapologetic and unique. Like strong adrenaline coursing through your veins and pushing you to just go on. It can get lonely, it can get fun, then lonely again but it’s still your choice.

You have to make your choices. You have to be happy with those choices because making difficult decisions in life isn’t just about choosing what you want. It’s also about facing everything that comes with that choice, and that’s the part no one really talks about.

We talk about making bold moves.
We talk about following your heart.
We talk about doing what feels right.

But we don’t talk enough about what happens after.

What happens when the excitement fades, and you’re left alone with your decision?
When they question you?
When they think you’ve made a mistake.
When they try subtly or directly to convince you to choose differently.
What happens when their voices get loud enough that you start questioning yourself?

Then you begin to shift.

You start adjusting your choices to be more acceptable.
More explainable.
More aligned with what people expect from you.

And slowly, without even realizing it, you move further away from honesty. You start choosing what will be understood instead of what is true.

The truth is, it’s not your job to make your decisions make sense to others, especially when people don’t understand your choices.

People see your life through their own lens, through their experiences, their fears, their expectations.

So when they look at your choices,
They’re not just seeing you
They’re seeing what they would have done in that situation.
They see what they think is safe.
They see what they think is right.

Even though some may mean well, they don’t carry your heart.

They don’t feel the quiet pull toward the things you feel strongly about.
They don’t sit with the thoughts that keep you up at night.
They don’t know the things you’ve outgrown, or the things you’re still trying to understand.

So how could they fully understand your choices?

Have you thought that maybe they’re actually not supposed to, because the fact of the matter is, the person who has to understand your choices the most is you. So why build a life based on what makes other people comfortable when you’re the one who has to live inside it?

Allow yourself to settle into that choice.

Because sometimes, the restlessness you feel isn’t because you chose wrong.
It’s because you haven’t fully stood by what you chose.
You’re still halfway in, halfway out.
Still questioning.
Still seeking reassurance.

And that constant uncertainty will drain you.
It will make even the right decision feel heavy.

You owe yourself more than that.
You owe yourself honest choices.
Not perfect ones.
Not guaranteed ones.
Just honest ones.

Because at the end of the day, you’re not just choosing outcomes.
You’re choosing what you can carry.
What you can stand by.
What you can wake up to and still feel like yourself.

I read somewhere that said, “When trying to choose a path for your life, it’s easy to take the obvious path, but the honest one is more satisfying”.

The obvious part keeps you understood, but the honest one asks you to trust yourself.

You can’t “not” bet on yourself.

Don’t abandon what you knew was true just because it got hard. Even if it feels messy, uncertain, even if it’s not turning out the way you hoped.

That doesn’t mean you chose wrong. It just means you’re learning to trust yourself and be confident in your life choices even when nobody understands it… yet.

Thank you for reading!!!

Love,

Dupe Abiona

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If you are in that space right now… where moving on feels quiet and confusing, where you’re learning how to exist without them, this one is for you.

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Your story and voice matters even if you feel like they don’t.

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And if you’ve ever felt like someone liked you, admired you, maybe even cared about you but somehow still didn’t truly get you, then I think this might speak to you.

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There was no loud countdown for me this year.

No long list of resolutions written in glittering hope.

No dramatic promises about becoming a brand-new person overnight.

Just quietly... thoughtfully... almost like someone stepping into a new room and pausing to take in the atmosphere before speaking.

And surprisingly, I think I needed that.

For the first time in a long time, I didn't rush into the year trying to reinvent myself immediately.

The version of me that crossed into this year was softer. Slower. More observant. More intentional about what I carry forward and what I gently leave behind. With a quiet awareness that growth doesn't always need to be loud to be meaningful.

Life has a way of slowing you down long enough for you to actually notice yourself.

And while slowing down can feel unfamiliar, it can also be clarifying. It can show you the parts of your life that truly matter and the parts that were simply noise.

Storytelling has always been more than a hobby for me. It is where I understand my experiences. It is where my thoughts find direction. It is where I connect with people in ways that feel deeply honest.

This year began with me learning how to sit with myself again.

Learning that healing is not always loud or beautiful or inspiring. Sometimes healing looks like logging out. Sometimes it looks like incomplete drafts. Sometimes it looks like choosing rest over productivity, even when guilt tries to make rest feel like failure.

There is something beautiful about entering a new season without pressure to perform.

Without the expectation of having everything figured out immediately. Without forcing excitement that doesn't feel natural.

This year, I think I entered quietly... but I also entered intentionally.

I entered, asking myself questions like:

What truly brings me joy now?

What kind of life do I want to create moving forward?

What parts of myself deserve more attention and care?

What parts of me do I want the world to see?

What am I letting go of?

And I have answers to them and more before even writing this.

I realized I am no longer interested in rushing through my life just to meet invisible timelines. I want to experience my life fully. I want to write, share, and connect in ways that feel genuine and sustainable.

And honestly, that realisation feels exciting.

Kindly Read Full Article Here: https://lifeloveandstories.wordpress.com/2026/02/08/the-version-of-me-that-entered-2026-quietly/

Thank you!

Love

Dupe Abiona

Life, Love, and, Stories became a softer space this year, it became a place to pause, to reflect, to tell stories that didn’t rush to conclusions but allowed the meaning to unfold slowly in our minds. Through reflections, short stories, and honest thoughts, this platform continued to explore life as it truly is: layered, quiet, tender, and deeply human.

This year the blog reminded us that growth doesn’t always mean doing more. Sometimes it means noticing more. Sometimes it means choosing to be present instead of feeling pressured, choosing calm over noise, and being honest instead of trying to impress.

Writing this year felt like listening. Like paying attention to everyday moments and realising they carried more meaning than I thought.

Life, Love, and, Stories is for curious minds, feeling hearts, and people learning to move at their own pace. As we move forward, this space will continue to hold room for growth, honest thoughts, stories that help us think, feel, and connect first with ourselves, and then with the world around us.

To the amazing 3,000+ subscribers across Wordpress and Substack, thank you for being a part of this year’s journey, for reading, feeling, and imagining with us. You became companions on a shared journey of reflection, empathy, and growth. Every comment, every share, every quiet moment spent with these words mattered. As we step into the new year, may your own story continue to be one of purpose and possibility.

With Love

Dupe Abiona

Life, Love, and Stories

Read more: https://lifeloveandstories.wordpress.com/?p=880&preview=true

Vulnerability: Showing up as you are.

Think about the first time you tried something new, e.g writing, content creation, business, music, acting, or even posting your face online.

You probably felt exposed.

You wondered:

• What if they don’t like it?

• What if they laugh?

• What if I fail publicly?

That fear? That’s vulnerability.

And yet, every artist, creator, and successful person you admire has walked through that same fear.

We often talk about vulnerability like it’s a weakness. Like it’s something you should hide, manage, or only show in private, never in public, never where people can see the cracks or imperfections.

And in today’s world, where everyone is curating perfection, success, and “soft life” aesthetics, vulnerability feels almost rebellious.

Read full blog post here: https://lifeloveandstories.wordpress.com/2025/12/14/embrace-your-vulnerability/

It’s been one month since I last showed up here, and the truth is — I went MIA because life demanded that I pause. Within that time, I was grieving the loss of two family members. I wasn’t super close with them but it felt like I was reliving a loss I once felt, that’s when I realised the grief from the past wasn’t done with me yet.

Grief is strange. People often say, “Time heals all wounds,” but I’ve come to see that it doesn’t. I don’t know why people say that, but I think I have a better explanation. The pain doesn’t vanish; it simply changes form. You never really get used to it, you just learn how to carry it. I’ve come to see that grief is also love. It’s the love we can no longer pour into their presence, so it sits with us—unresolved, unspent, waiting for expression. Sometimes that expression comes in tears, sometimes in silence, and sometimes in words like these.

The journey through grief is one of the hardest roads to walk, and even when you think you’ve found your balance, it can pull you under again without warning. It’s been years since I lost my dad, and that wound still aches. And now, with these recent losses, the pain feels fresh, raw, and overwhelming again. It feels like a piece of me has been ripped away twice over, leaving behind a void that words can’t fully describe.

Read Full Article Here: https://lifeloveandstories.wordpress.com/2025/09/28/grief-the-journey-that-never-really-ends/

Some days, I feel like I have so much to say, soft lessons folded neatly and ready to hand out to anyone who might need them.
And then there are days when everything is just quiet, days when my mind isn't wandering or thinking about one smart thing or the other to say, but just calm, it's more like an empty street.

I used to think that if I wasn’t learning, teaching, or sharing something profound, I wasn’t doing enough. I would sit with my open notebook and expect wisdom to arrive on command like a comforting quote, a clever line, an insight worth underlining twice. But there are days when my thoughts scatter. Nothing lands. Nothing stays. And I stare at the blank page as if it owes me an explanation or typing one-word sentences, but nothing that actually makes any sense. I used to think there was something wrong with me on those days. I’d even look at the blank page and wonder, Where did all my words go? I’d scroll through old notes on my phone, half-written drafts, scribbles, and quotes I once posted with so much certainty, and wonder, Who wrote this? Who was she, and why can’t I find her today?

It’s strange, the pressure we put on ourselves to always have something to offer. Something clever, something comforting, something that makes people nod and say, "Yes, I feel that too". It’s easy to forget that we don’t have to be full of answers all the time.

Read full article here: https://lifeloveandstories.wordpress.com/2025/07/13/the-days-i-had-nothing-to-say-and-thats-okay/

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I didn’t know writing would become a home.
Not like a house with walls and windows.
But a soft place where my soul stretches, unfolds, and breathes.

I started writing simply because I enjoyed it. I've always had a wild and vivid imagination (what everyone calls delulu now). I've been "deluluing" since way back, and I dream a lot. The dreams always feel like stories trying to be born. I remember scribbling them down, unsure of what they meant, but I wrote them down regardless, even giving them some extra action and laughing at myself when I did.

And then, one day, the words formed into a book— It Was Only Just a Dream.
I had initially written Love Don't Care purely out of imagination and curiosity about where I could pour all my thoughts, but the story keeps unfolding, and it's quickly becoming a full-blown novel of its own.

That was the beginning.

Since then, writing has held my hand.
It has made me cry.
It has made me brave.
It has made me see.

And today, I’m releasing a third book (yes, Love at First Zombie is live)

But beyond the books and blog posts, beyond the social media captions and the many unfinished Word documents sitting in my Google Drive, I’ve discovered some truths.

And today, which is also my birthday, I want to share them with you.

Here are 25+ truths about storytelling/writing I've discovered over the years.

Truth #1: Writing reveals you to yourself.

Sometimes, you think you’re just telling a story. But halfway through, I realized it’s my soul talking back to me. The way life is, it can make you forget your softness, your voice, how deeply you love. But writing brings me back to myself, even with life’s chaos

Truth #2: Your dreams are not random.

As random as you'd think them to be. They whisper. They guide. Sometimes, they scream. Sometimes even prophecies. And sometimes, they become books. Some people say they don’t dream at all. I don't think that's true. I think you’re probably too exhausted, stressed, and tired, and you don’t pay attention to yourself because I believe everyone dreams, you just don’t remember it.

Read Full Article here: https://lifeloveandstories.wordpress.com/2025/06/27/25-truths-ive-discovered-through-storytelling-writing

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Growing up, no one handed me a guidebook on love. But somehow, I silently and subconsciously picked up a list of invisible “rules” you know how you see those instagram “relationship goals” posts where they only show the highlights and you’re left “awwwnning” or “God when” or those songs that made you feel toxicity is romantic or friends saying “don’t double text, it’s embarrassing” or late-night advice tweets that sounded deep but were really just fear wrapped in sarcasm.

I used to think I knew how love was “supposed” to go but the truth is I didn’t have any real understanding of it. We weren’t handed healthy examples. We were handed strategies. Rules about how love should look, what I should expect and how I should behave.

Be less available. Keep them guessing. Don’t care too much. Care just enough to make them care. If they ignore you, ignore them harder.We started treating love like a competition. A performance. A prize you win by playing it cool and hiding how much you actually feel.

Read Full Article Here: https://lifeloveandstories.wordpress.com/2025/05/24/the-relationship-rules-i-had-to-unlearn/

Apologies I put this out late cause I’ve been travelling and I’ll tell you all about it on another episode but I’m super excited to get back on track with the podcast. Thank you so much for listening.

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Some people will argue that Love fixes everything and some will argue that Love is not everything. Well, research has shown that Love isn’t always enough but when we break it down into Understanding, Shared Values, Respect, Forgiveness, Sacrifice, Trust, Patience, e.t.c this things all fall under LOVE when we take them out and just use the word Love then we miss the point.

We’ve all heard the saying Love is not Enough but do we really understand what that sentence means, let’s take this story for example: I’d like you to visualise this with an example —A relationship between Sarah and Tristan, they’ve been dating for about 5 years, they have dreams of building a life together Sarah loved Tristan with all her heart and she knew he loved her too. But over time, things changed. What happens when Tristan starts losing interest? Is it because he doesn’t love her anymore or the love just suddenly disappeared over night? I don’t think so, Tristan’s love for Sarah didn’t change his Respect for her changed, he started acting out, started acting distant, he barely spoke to her, because if you respect someone the way you speak or act with them is different right. His love didn’t change his understanding and patience with her changed, he found her actions irritating, they argued more and more, they fought over little things, if she complained he would make a big deal about her over reacting. 

Sarah couldn’t trust him anymore not because she didn’t love him anymore but he would go out and come back home very late or he would go the whole day without speaking to her. She would spend nights awake, wondering what she was doing wrong and how she could fix things.

The love was still there, but it wasn’t enough to cover up the growing problems. Tristan didn’t respect her feelings, and the emotional distance between them was widening. Sarah felt like she was walking on eggshells, always worried about saying the wrong thing. And despite how much she loved him, she was losing herself in the process.

There’s an unspoken pressure to believe that love should conquer all, that if we love someone enough, we can make anything work. We tell ourselves that love means staying, even when the cracks or red flags begin to show. 

Love is not always the problem, there’s a bountiful of Love in every beautiful relationship, what’s missing is understanding, respect, emotional growth, shared values, forgiveness, sacrifice, trust e.t.c. Breaking the Big LOVE into little actions, thoughts and gestures will help you realise a lot of things about yourself and the person you’re with, giving each other the time and space to really show the different sides of you. For example: What are your partner’s values? What type of home are they from? Do they easily forgive? If they don’t, what would you do to help them? Are they big on sacrificing? Are they scared of being vulnerable? How would you nurture them? Make a mental list of the kind of partner you want to manifest and stop looking at other people’s relationships and saying “It can never be you” It will so be you Ehnn if you don’t lay the right foundation.

Sounds like a lot right but trust me answering this questions will do you a whole lot of good and if you’re seeing this as a lot of work, then you have no business getting into a relationship and damaging people with your heartless persona. 

In the end, do you want to take the courage to walk away from that relationship even though you still love the person or stay and work on your relationship but if it truly is lost and has no hope at all then believe me when I say that you are worthy of more—more peace, more alignment, more joy and that sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is to let go. 

Thank you for reading!!!

Love

Dupe Abiona

In this episode of the Love & Life podcast, we’re unpacking the beautiful chaos between inspiration and execution.

Whether you're stuck in your head or scared to start, this one’s for you.

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When this topic first dropped in my mind, I kept thinking about the different times I’ve felt stuck, alone and tired. The pressure to continuously keep it moving. I kept thinking about how a lot of people also feel stuck and are trying to find an escape route or some who are stuck and don’t even know they are. 

Let’s look at what it means to feel stuck: 

Have you ever felt like you’re doing the same thing daily, feeling exhausted and burned out? Have you ever done a monthly assessment of yourself and wondered why you’re not moving forward? Or you feel like you’re being left behind and The world around you seems to be moving forward, yet you’re in one place watching the world run like it’s leaving you behind, unable to make sense of why you are where you are or where you’re even going.

Maybe you’re sitting in a job that you probably enjoy but makes you feel exhausted at the end of the day because it’s not reflecting positively in your personal life just your work life, or you’re chasing a dream that feels so far out of reach, it’s hard to even believe it’s yours. Maybe your relationships feels like you both aren’t making any progress, or you find your creative juices loosing its juice and drying out, or your motivation has vanished into thin air. Whatever the cause, feeling stuck can be frustrating, lonely, and deeply unsettling.

One of the hardest parts of feeling stuck is the expectation to “figure it out immediately.” Society, family, and even our own inner voice whisper (or scream) that we need to keep moving, keep achieving, keep proving our worth. And yet, what if feeling stuck isn’t a punishment but an invitation?

Life isn’t meant to be a constant sprint from one milestone to another. It’s in these moments that we’re forced to confront ourselves—our fears, our desires, our truths.

When was the last time you allowed yourself to simply sit with your emotions? To stop running from the discomfort and instead ask, “What is this teaching me?”

I used to have anxiety when it comes to making calls to people I respect and hold dear because I’m always worried about what I say if it’d be offensive or if they are in the mood to hear from me at that moment in fact I still panic sometimes but I face it regardless because if I don’t make that call at that time it’d haunt me and be on my mind for a very long time and I’d start imagining how the conversation could have gone, I’m stuck on something I could have done and moved past. 

Feeling stuck may be life’s way of slowing you down so you can notice the things you’ve been too busy to see.

The truth is getting unstuck rarely happens quickly it really just a conscious process that has to be repeated for you to see the actual progress. 

Start with small steps then you see big shifts:

1. Understand what you’re feeling, if you’re feeling anxious ask yourself what am I anxious about, lookup ways to curb your anxious self and find relief however little 

2. Revisit things that give you joy. I always tell myself if this thing won’t give me any form of joy or fulfilment then I’m really uninterested. What’s that hobby that makes you happy? 

3. Surround yourself with positivity, there’s so much to see and learn from people who have made a positive impact on the world. Listen to podcast that uplifts your spirits, record your own voice uplifting yourself and being in a cheerful spirit. My logo says stay happy stay positive because when you’re in that space of mind only good things happen, you begin to have clearer thoughts, you start getting inspired to do great and amazing things. 

4. Plan, another way to feel stuck, exhausted and overwhelmed is when you don’t plan, things just hit you where you are and you totally shut down and shut out everything so it feels like the whole world is leaving you behind. When you plan you’re able to track where you are and where you missed a step that way you either retrace your steps or keep moving. 

And most importantly, give yourself grace. You are not failing because you feel stuck; you are simply in transition.

So, if you’re feeling stuck, know this: It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to not have all the answers. You are not behind, and you are not broken. You are exactly where you need to be, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Take a deep breath. Trust the process. And remember—movement will come again.

Thank you for reading!!!

Love

Dupe Abiona

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