Feeling survivor’s remorse for enduring this eclipse season with ease. Meanwhile, it hit everyone around me like a construction truck loaded with cement. And for once, I was not moved. I felt but I didn’t allow it to totally alter my world.

And you know what that is? Growth.

Survivor’s remorse is a heavy emotional state where you feel guilty and sad for surviving a hard or even fatal event when others did not. People tend to ask themselves “why me?” And falsely believe they did something wrong by simply living through the experience.

Share

08/13/2026

12:14 AM

“This eclipse energy is LOUD. Discovering who and what needs to be cut off has not been difficult at all.”

Eclipse season just “wrapped” on August 27, 2026 in my sign — Pisces. I say that in quotes because we still have a shadow period as we do with any other transits that takes place in the sky.

The latest Lunar Eclipse in Pisces lifted the illusions, brought up vivid imagery in my dreams and really demystified my reality. It focused on endings, release and realizations.

The first Solar Eclipse in Leo (my moon sign) that appeared on August 12, 2026 focused on bold action, identity and significant shifts. The space between these dates were said to move FAST. And they did indeed move swiftly — for most.

Like I said, I feel a bit awkward knowing that it didn’t challenge me the way it challenged those around me.

“Eclipses dont destroy your path… they destroy what blocks it,” — a download received from somewhere I wish I could remember. Thanks to the voice who shared it with me.

I noticed a former friend’s mental health spiraling to the point of no return. I realized relationships around me were ending left and right. I observed people — without proper grounding in their personal and professional spaces — getting clipped without remorse.

To me, it just lifted the veil and asked me to take off my own rose colored glasses. It redirected my focus back to the mirror. I’m grateful for the awareness to know what I needed to do to innerstand what was happening around me (this time).

Cause usually eclipses and retrogrades shake my shit uppp. But folks got tools, resources and a new level of awareness to at least notice beforehand.

I was charged to ground in nature, with breath and through meditation. I was told to reflect and not react. I learned to understand what came up for me: realigning with personal goals. Letting go of everyone else’s expectations of me, for them. I also reflected on conversations around trust and what it truly means to me. I decided to address what excites me most and realized it is Durty Chai’s vision to heal from the inside out and the focus of conscious consumption. Products and productions OTW! For sureeee.

I wrote to myself: trust the unfolding and know that what’s meant for you is already in motion.

“You’re shedding what no longer serves you to set into something bigger,” — another message from the universe.

Let go and trust. Clarity will come. And it did.

08/13/2026

Moments Later

“I am calling in all that is mine with all those who belong. Quality over quantity. Tonight I saw a bit of a meteor shower on this solar eclipse and full moon day…let’s end and begin on a positive note. I am looking forward to what today has for me now that I have cried for what no longer fits. I am confident, walking boldly into all of my blessings with clarity, knowing and gratitude. With love, honor/integrity and respect. And so it is.”

As I started considering this idea of survivor’s remorse, I had a flashback to the very last Astroworld Festival that took place on November 5, 2021 in Travis Scott’s hometown of Houston, Texas.

I went thinking that I would see Earth, Wind and Fire for the first time. My best friend had festival tickets for the weekend, so I did what I do best — be spontaneous and book the flight. I also booked a hotel literally walking distance from where the festival was held. I could see the festival grounds from my hotel room.

As I approached the festival grounds on Day one, I noticed how excited festival-goers were to be there in this energy. To experience their favorite artists perform and Travis’ vision come to life.

Little did I know this would be my first and final time experiencing it.

We walked through a circus-type re-imagination of Travis Scott’s head, which they called Utopia Mountain. Many fans and conspiracy theorists pointed to this as one of the many alarming signs of the ritualistic sacrifice to come later that night. I wrote about this for Global Grind days after it all took place.

Read about the conspiracy theories here so I don’t get too long winded.

I didn’t have the experience most fans witnessed on this day. I walked passed the “chill” stage that Travis was set to perform on, where there were dark frequencies playing that felt like some synthy Mike Dean-esque chords — very dark, very strange. Meanwhile, SZA was set to perform on the “thrill” stage. Again, very strange and polar opposite of what you’d expect from these artists.

Fans waited for hours — at the edge of the stage — to see Travis perform. Me and my sis bypassed both stages (chill and thrill) and enjoyed this covered world created with an old carnival ride. A great time sponsored by Red Bull — set with a fye DJ playing all of our favorites, drinks overflowing and the vibes extremely high.

Now, it’s time for Travis to perform. As a VIP guest, I had the privilege of enjoying the show, comfortably in the back of the festival grounds. So when Drake came out and the show “stopped,” we hardly noticed. Especially because Travis continued to hum and chant. The music never really stopped even though fans — many of them young children — were apparently being trampled over and stomped on.

As I swayed left to right and jumped up and down to the sounds of Travis and his surprise guest Drake, I left Astroworld elated and with only joy in my heart and satisfaction in my spirit. (This isn’t the first surprise Drake appearance that ultimately led to folks being trampled over. Circa HUHC ’12. IYKYK.)

I went back to my hotel room extremely eager to see Earth, Wind & Fire the next day.

Only to open Twitter and discover the news of 8 fatalities that took place on the night of the festival.

8 is a powerful number. It represents material wealth, financial abundance, and infinite energy.

Oh, and this just so happened to take place on Kris Jenner’s 66th birthday — the mother of Travis’ then girlfriend Kylie Jenner. You do the math.

It’s now reported and documented that a total of 10 people died as a result of this crowd crush during the final Astroworld Festival on that night.

Imagine, my survivor’s remorse.

I was crushed, knowing that I had the time of my life. Meanwhile, I had a friend who was amongst the crowd and felt the energetic pull that had been bubbling since before Travis ever stepped foot on the stage. A grown and very strong man noticed he was also challenged getting out of the crowd at this time. So I’m sure it was super difficult for a young 12 or 13 year old.

Just three years later, Travis has since successfully returned to sold out dates. A tour of which I caught in LA back in 2024 for his Utopia - Circus Maximus Tour. I went to observe and was shocked at the response. He had not missed a beat. If anything, higher elevation. Even more motion.

Survivor’s remorse.

This eclipse energy felt similar to me. I had this feeling of guilt, knowing I wasn’t affected the way my loved ones were.

8/13/2026

4:04 PM

“I need AIR. Today my reading said to be patient with moody companions because Luna squares Uranus this afternoon, bringing chaos to the air. And clearly I have to just tread lightly. So I am. I’m going to refocus to me — me and me. I can’t give my everything to everyone. I’m centering myself and the things God has already told me to focus on.”

To remind us, the Solar eclipse in Leo took place on Aug. 12.

I kept centering everything else to distract myself from the assignment, the hard work, the mission God already asked me to invest in. When it’s just you, you have no one else to blame. We allow the “well they did this” or “they’re the reason I couldn’t do this” to interfere with the very thing God already told us to do.

Accountability.

Ever heard of her?

Clear the mess, get to it and clean up your act.

Also, me to me.

What I learned and how to manage:

Grounding back to me. Mirror chats. Deep reflections. Deeper breaths. Massaging the tension in my body. Hugging myself. And ultimately, asking myself if I’m okay with the feelings that come with disappointing others to avoid disappointing myself.

08/19/2026

2:42 PM

“I’m having to slow everything down. In my mind and in my reality to consciously move forward on ideas and visions that are in complete alignment with what God has for me and for us.

I started to feel overwhelm thinking about all the things on my to-do list and vision board for this year. Then, I realized I can just take a deep breath and take it step by step.

The tea packaging finally arrived for Durty Chai and I am overjoyed to start envisioning how to get my ideas off my phone and into action… I feel really called to empower myself with my production company. In the wellness and farming space, learning and educating through comedy and storytelling… ‘Get back on the path assigned to you’ is what I hear. So, I must and I will.”

This led me to creating pillars that matter to me. Some include: storytelling, education, wellness, travel, performance and pleasure.

While I may have felt some difficult endings ahead, it opened the path for clearer beginnings. I’m in no way mad at that.

It allowed us to push past the debris of distractions that may have stood in the way.

Now, with experience, collected wisdom, and healing on the horizon, the path is free. May we all continue towards our destiny.

The world needs us clear, now, more than ever. And so it is.

From under the sea,

OPNSEA 🌊

Subscribe now

UPDATES

JUST KEEP SWIMMIN’ OPN VERSE CHALLENGE

I released my debut single on Juneteenth featuring Mauzy Music and Jordan W. Carter. While we have generated some decent numbers for my first song, I’d love for us to continue running it up. Stream here.

I shared an open verse challenge for my super talented friends to hop on and so far, we’ve gotten a few submissions.

If you’re still interested, be sure to post yours by 9/5 for a chance to win $100 from me to you as you, “just keep swimmin.’” Use the funds to pay for a bill, studio time, or just a nice ass meal. Up to you, but whatever you do, don’t give up. The world needs you and your gifts.

YES AND ERRRBODY IN ATL 9/26

We’re headed to a Black, woman-owned ranch next month and you’re the first to know. If you’ve been thinking about trying improv or you’ve been wanting to join our community for a fun day of freestyles, games and ultimate presence, then you can’t miss this one.

We’re literally going to touch grass. There’s an actual stage. We have Soul Smile Presents with their wisdom and healing knowledge and J. Blade Ranch supporting us with the land to just be.

Not gone hold yall, I’m soooo geeked. So please come through and invite your crew. Bring whatever makes you comfortable but especially: water, comfy shoes, deet-free bug spray and a positive spirit.

RSVP here with code: ROOTED

IF I GO, WILL THEY MISS ME COMES TO ATL

I joined the Rich Spirit team to help share this beautiful film to the Atlanta community. There are a few screenings taking place next month, and I’ll have a link to share with you soon so you can go see it.

They’re screening the film in a few cities outside of Atlanta, so don’t worry if you’re not here. NY, LA, TX, CHI and more will have an opportunity to see it in select theaters soon.

Send me a message and I’ll be sure I send you the link.

CAN I PRAY FOR YOU?

I have been praying any way. And still, if I can get even more intentional, I would love to. It’s Day 242 of me getting down on my knees to pray and it has truly transformed so much for me. There’s a certain humility and dedication, reverence and commitment, love and honor, that I feel by making that one small change to my daily practice.

Comment or reach out to me directly and let me know what to uplift. I’d be happy to.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for watching. Thanks for remembering. I pray this all reaches you in great spirits and that you may continue to feel fulfilled wherever you are — with presence, joy and wondrous vibes. I love yall fr. <3

Talk to you soon!

[ Enter The Dream World ]

Two women storm out of the Bank of America holding two large brown bags filled with cash. There are dollar bills flying out as they make their dramatic exit. Both women hop into the getaway car that conveniently awaits them. It just so happens to be a brown van.

Follow me. Details are important in all our strange dreams.

As a brilliant bank robber, one woman, insists that they leave the van behind.

“Let’s ditch this shitty van,” Nikki said to her best friend Rita. “And find a new whip.” There’s a long pause as Rita says absolutely nothing. Just blank stares until Nikki continues with her elaborate— and in hindsight — really dumb plan.

“You go that way. I’ll go this way,” Nikki demanded.

1-2-3, BREAK!

Share

They split up and go their separate ways. For whatever reason, one may never know. Because why would you ever split up? I always hated that part in the movies.

Somehow, Nikki ends up in the most luxurious hotel room with a group of college students. They’re laughing, drinking, smoking and playing games. There’s a stunning city view skyline that becomes their backdrop.

Dreamy.

The group of college students are there for a conference. What kind you may ask? Again, one may never know. But apparently, they were handling their business first and then came pleasure.

Nikki needed to relieve herself so she excuses herself from the room and rushes into their fancy ass hotel bathroom to take a much needed dump.

Probably post robbery shits.

As she steps in to handle her business there’s a beautiful Brown girl drawing a bath. She notices Nikki about to use the bathroom and still hops in the water she had already drawn before she arrived.

Why might Nikki feel comfortable enough to proceed? Again, we may never know but I feel there’s a reason why the girls left out with brown bags full of cash in a brown van and ended up with a Brown girl taking a dump with brown… well you get it.

// Dreams Defined //

All my strange dreams are tryin’ to tell me somethin’ and for this I figured out that I was feeling a sense of lack — financially. There may have been some sort of fear of losing funds in the future.

Often times dreaming about a bank robbery symbolizes deep anxieties around security, a fear of losing control or a hidden desire for radical change when you may feel trapped by your circumstances or daily routine.

This dream also signaled that I should be cautious with my spending. Another way of looking at it is that I had this belief that I couldn’t attain what I wanted or that I wouldn’t receive in the future. There was a sign that pointed to gaining something quickly and losing it just as fast.

While it may not have all made complete sense, there were moments that pointed me right back on track. To encourage me to believe in myself, my wealth, and honor my value and my pockets.

Know yourself, know your worth.

I had this dream last September and this was around the time I was prepping for home ownership, so I can imagine surveillance around my personal finances were a huge part of my life at that time. It’s no wonder I was conjuring up such peculiar thoughts in the dream world.

The part about the getaway car might point to my desire to escape the stress, avoid the consequences and essentially break away from a difficult situation in my waking life. It often reflects feelings of pressure, a need for a quick solution or anxiety about a choice I could have made or presently making.

Now, the part about leaving my best friend behind during a wild and chaotic event still doesn’t sit right with me cause huh? But apparently that was just a reflection of the feeling of overwhelm and pointing to self-preservation.

So instead of worrying how I could potentially save someone else, I needed to boss up and save myself.

As for taking a shit in front of a complete and beautiful stranger, that was a feeling of exposure, vulnerability, and maybe even shame in my waking life. With every credit lender, my realtor, and whoever else assessing my finances during that time, I can only imagine the stressss. This is said to have been fear of judgment, lack of personal boundaries or holding onto emotional stress that I was accidentally revealing to others.

The woman being unbothered shows me that I had nothing to be ashamed of because I was indeed doing the hard thing.

Nonetheless, we never lackin, forever stackin and effortlessly rackin it up. To more money and even more abundance. It’s up and it’s stuck.

Plus, I’m a homeowner bihhhh!!!

Grateful for my dreams being reminders that I am indeed ok and in alignment with my destiny. Sometimes we need these strange dreams to tell us somethin.’

For more dream world interpretations, continue to follow along with this series where I dissect All My Strange Dreams and decide wtf they’re actually trying to tell me.

Comment what you think this dream meant and why each element may have been so significant in my waking life.

From under the sea,

OPNSEA 🌊

Sounds provided by Drake’s “Dreams Money Can Buy” + Narration from OPNSEA.

Characters and plot points were slightly embellished to make more fantastical and enjoyable.

Dream captured September 12, 2025.

Journaled 07/27/2026 4:55 PM

I shed a few tears at Dr. Henry’s today.

Nothing like releasing at the chiro, amiright?

Ugh.

I’m accepting that I am a highly sensitive person. Things, energies, people, expressions, the weight of the world that presses firmly against our hues, affects me — deeply.

Not softly. Not gentle at all.

But with immense pressure so much so that it soon begins to leak out. Any places and spaces I may not have prepared to release. With people that may not be equipped to hold it even.

But I no longer run from this gift.

The gift to feel deeply.

The gift to let it all go.

The gift it is to return it back to the universe from which it came.

Only a lil more mended.

A bit more clarified.

A lot more resolved,

And even more cared for.

While I was taught to “never let em see you cry.” I realize that is a view I must deny. I won’t say it isn’t wise. I will say that the way we phrase things really make a difference.

While I can learn to release in spaces of privacy and retreat, I may not always have that opportunity. So there is no harm in letting it go when you need to.

I feel things — deeper than most.
It’s not a weakness. It’s my strength.

In a world that feels nothing, I feel it all.

I refuse to let a group of grays and smog darken my light. A light that shines despite.

Because in a world without yearners, deep thinkers, and feelers, all we’d feel is rage with nowhere to go. Just a world full of anger with no one to hold, transmute and let it all flow.

For the first time in my life, I’m grateful I’m a highly sensitive person.

Because I am necessary and essential to move us forward.
I thank God for the gift(s).

I’m learning how to feel.

I’m learning how to deal.

I’m learning how to continue to keep it real.

Without making anyone else feel anything but flow, joy, and peace in the midst of pain.

Aye-mane/Amen.

And so it is

Navigating The Waters Within

I’ll give you something to cry about.

It’s something I heard quite often as a child. I often struggled to emote because I felt things so deeply.

As Black and Brown women, we often need permission to be soft. To release. To simply be.

While I love my mom so much, I now realize I learned behaviors that were unnatural to me—behaviors that felt foreign. She would often tell me to “never let them see you cry.”

While I understand the logic and recognize it as a form of protection she used for herself, I’ve come to find great power in the release.

By being authentically me, I give other people permission to do the same.I show young Black and Brown girls and boys that it’s okay to let it out.

Because when I didn’t let it out, I exploded—often in ways that were harmful to the people who loved me the most.

Why Crying Is Actually Good for You

We’ve been taught that tears are a sign of weakness.

Science says otherwise.

Crying relaxes the body, relieves pain, and significantly reduces stress, according to a number of studies. Harvard Health notes that emotional tears can activate the body’s relaxation response, release feel-good chemicals, and even strengthen our relationships through vulnerability.

Health Benefits of Tears

There are a number of actual benefits to crying. When we release, the body reacts. And, we should note all tears aren’t created equal but that’s another post for another day.

Scroll for the benefits.

Calms the Body

Crying activates your parasympathetic nervous system, helping your heart rate slow down and allowing your body to rest.

Releases Feel-Good Chemicals

Emotional tears trigger the release of oxytocin and endorphins—natural chemicals that help ease both physical and emotional pain.

Clears Stress

Emotional tears help reduce stress by carrying stress hormones out of the body, lowering overall tension.

Invites Support

Tears communicate that we need care. They create opportunities for empathy, deeper connection, and stronger relationships.

Protects the Eyes

Our tears keep our eyes lubricated, wash away debris, and help defend against bacteria.

You can read more about the science behind tears in Harvard Health’s article, ”Is crying good for you?” here.

Crying is also a sign of incredible strength because it requires emotional honesty. It asks us to face our feelings instead of hiding from them.

Relationship and intimacy expert Dr. Viviana Coles says it beautifully:

The strongest people cry.

Her perspective deeply resonated with me because it challenged everything I was taught growing up.

Watch her thoughts here.

Crying Is Your Superpower

There’s so much strength in the release. Though we may have been taught to believe otherwise, it was only a mechanism we learned through oppression and dismissal of our humanity.

Learn more about how crying can be viewed as a superpower.

Emotional Honesty & Courage

Accepting truth: Facing pain head-on instead of hiding from it takes bravery.

Showing vulnerability: Sharing real feelings creates trust and deeper connection with others.

Rejecting pressure: Crying pushes back against the belief that strength requires emotional suppression.

Healing the Body & Mind

Releasing stress: Tears help reduce emotional tension and support the body’s natural recovery.

Calming the nervous system: Emotional crying activates the body’s rest-and-digest response, helping lower anxiety.

Creating mental clarity: Releasing emotions often allows us to approach life’s challenges with a clearer mind.

So while I was taught to believe that tears were a sign of weakness for most of my life, I’ve chosen to unlearn that story.

I’ve chosen to embrace my strength.

To recognize that vulnerability is a gift many people are afraid to offer.

To understand that I am no better than anyone else, because I hid my emotions in the shadows.

Instead, I’ve learned to lean more deeply into my community.

People like my chiropractor, Dr. Henry, who showed up for me when I simply wasn’t feeling it.

Our angels come in many forms, often arriving when we least expect them.

But if we aren’t open enough to share our hearts, will we ever receive the support they’ve come to offer?

I’ve found that healing isn’t just about learning how to be strong.

It’s about learning when it’s safe to soften.

To cry.

To receive.

To release.

Let it all out before you explode.

Give yourself permission.

It may be one of the strongest things you’ll ever do.

From under the sea,

OPNSEA 🌊

Subscribe now

UPDATES:

PANIC NO MORE, WE GO YES, AND ERRRBODY

Our improv community got a rebrand. It was time to refresh to a name that told a clearer story. People continued to associate the community with some sort of food thing and were often confused. So to clear it ALL up, we transformed.

Yes, And Errrbody is traveling improv experience powered by @itsadurtychai that invites Black and Brown communities to reconnect with play 🎭🛝

Join us for our next play date: 8/8 in Brooklyn! So excited to Portal to Prospect with the kids in New York. RSVP here.

DURTY CHAI POPPIN’ UP NEAR YOU

So proud of my baby Durty Chai. We are a full service production company fusing the worlds of storytelling and sustainability. We’re doing something that’s never been done before and I’m so excited that the journey has led us to sharing it all across town.

From our very first vending opportunity with Arcana ATL’s Mystic Moon meet up to our second with Seed Atlanta’s Plantini event, we have garnered so many new eyes and ears.

NIGHT OWLS UNITE

Catch us outside tonight at Arcana ATL’s Night Owl Market with ’s Sibyls — & . We will be offering a number of intuitive services, including my 7-minute intuitive creative consultation, where you can discuss your creative project with a professional creative director and strategist to get clear advice on your next steps. We will of course have our beloved Durty Chai and Golden Hour drinks available as well.

WHERE MY HUG AT?

Next up we’re supporting ’s album and grief release experience on Sunday. I will moderate a conversation centered around her beautiful music and how we transmute grief. We will also have a special menu that supports this process and dialogue. Anticipate lavender and rose — both calming and loving blends to hold us the way Cooley’s music has held us the past few months.

PRAYER IS ESSENTIAL

Every rising, I get on my knees to pray to God. I first begin with gratitude and then I listen. I then begin to ask for insight, guidance and wisdom. From there, I pray for ALL my people.

May I pray for you?

Please don’t ever hesitate to reach out with your requests. I promise — with a prayer warrior like me — they will be answered.

As for me?

I’m continuing to pray for more sovereignty over my day to day schedule with at least 3 clients a month who would like for me to help their brand or business with world building and creative development.

I would like my day to day to look like directing films, commercials, music videos and more. I want my life to be about sharing stories of goodness, joy and upliftment for our people.

I know all these things to be true with God on our side.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for watching. Thanks for remembering. I pray this all reaches you in great spirits and that you may continue to feel fulfilled wherever you are — with presence, joy and wondrous vibes. I love yall fr. <3

Talk to you soon!

Sounds from a full moon in Aries ritual sharing 22 things I love about me from 10/22/2024.

“There’s a virus going around... do you know where your food comes from?”

That question has been sitting with me.

Welcome back to “Sip On This,” where comfort meets consumption and every blend has a story worth telling.

Share

Lately, conversations about food have centered around contamination, recalls, and outbreaks. News of the “Cyclospora” parasite outbreak linked to produce distributed by companies like Taylor Farms reminded me that healing from the inside out isn’t only about what we eat.

It’s also about where we source it.

An Invitation, A Ritual

This entire Sip On This series has been an invitation to become a more conscious consumer—not from a place of fear, but from a place of honor. Honor to our bodies, honor to the land that feeds us and honor to the living organisms around us.

Because before food became a commodity, it was a relationship.

Before grocery stores, there were growers.

Before preservatives, there were seasons.

Before convenience, there was community.

And maybe that’s part of what we’re remembering and honoring now.

The Journey Starts At The Market

I stopped by one of my favorite places in Atlanta: Atlanta Harvest.

There’s something about arriving at a farmers market that immediately shifts my nervous system.

You slow down.

You connect.

You ask questions.

You smell the herbs before buying them.

You notice the dirt still clinging to a carrot and somehow that feels reassuring.

I found nearly everything I needed. Fresh herbs, seasonal produce, beautiful flowers and more.

The kind of food that reminds you somebody actually cared enough to grow it.

One little tip though… get there early. The good stuff goes fast. And be sure to follow Atlanta Harvest online because they share what’s in season and which vendors will be there each week.

If they happen to sell out of something, don’t worry. About twelve minutes away is another favorite of mine: Lake City International Farmers Market.

It’s one of those places where you can spend an hour wandering the aisles discovering herbs you’ve never heard of, spices from around the world, fresh produce, quality meats, and ingredients that reconnect you to cultures beyond your own.

I love both spaces because they remind me that food still has a story and it won’t give me explosive diarrhea in exchange. Though it may be a bit out of reach for some, I’ll take a longer drive to ensure my body is free from parasites.

Food Carries More Than Nutrients

Every seed carries memory. Every harvest carries intention. Every meal carries the energy of the people who planted it, harvested it, transported it, and prepared it.

That’s why I’ve become so interested in asking questions before I consume.

Who grew this?

How was it treated?

What season did it come from?

What hands touched it before mine?

These are questions rooted in presence and again honor. Conscious consumption isn’t about anxiety. It’s about awareness.

Because when we begin honoring where our food comes from, we naturally begin honoring where we come from too.

Why This Matters To Durty Chai

People often ask why Durty Chai talks so much about food when we’re also making films.

To me, those things have never been separate. What we consume becomes what we create. The stories we tell are shaped by the way we nourish ourselves.

A depleted nervous system struggles to imagine new futures. An overworked creator deserves more than a catered meal in a plastic container.

They deserve nourishment.

That’s the vision behind Durty Chai Farmhouse Studios.

A place where storytelling, sustainable farming, hospitality, and wellness exist together. Where artists can step away from extraction and into restoration. Where we grow food with intention.

Share meals in community. Tell meaningful stories. And remember that creativity has always belonged close to the land.

We’re not just dreaming about making better stories. We’re dreaming about cultivating better conditions for the people making them.

A Few Ways To Begin

You don’t need 333 acres to become a more conscious consumer.

You can begin today:

• Visit a local farmers market this week and introduce yourself to someone growing your food.

• Buy one ingredient that’s currently in season and build a meal around it.

• Ask questions about where your food came from before asking how many calories it has.

• Slow down enough to taste your meal before reaching for your phone.

• Thank the land, the grower, and your body before your first bite.

Small practices become lasting rituals. And rituals become culture — new ways of being.

Until Next Time...

This journey is about so much more than recipes. It’s about remembering and honoring. Remembering that food is medicine. That community is medicine. That creativity is medicine.

If this vision resonates with you, I’d love for you to become a paid subscriber here on Substack. Your support helps us continue documenting the road to Durty Chai Farmhouse Studios while developing new herbal blends, products, films, and wellness offerings rooted in conscious consumption.

You can also share this post with someone who’s been thinking more deeply about where their food comes from.

The future we’re dreaming of isn’t built alone.

It’s cultivated together.

I’ll meet you at the next market. Or pop up.

Upcoming Markets + Pop Ups

We’ve been popping up at local events in the Atlanta area with Durty Chai’s Tea Bar full of goodness in a cup. Follow along @itsadurtychai so you don’t miss the next one. Turn on your notifications.

Sip on this. 🌱

Tell A Friend

Share what we’re building. Word of mouth is powerful.

If you’d like to support in other ways, email us: durtychaiproductions@gmail.com

From under the sea,
OPNSEA 🌊

Sounds by OPNSEA & Log Drums “Relax R&B Afro Jazz Mix”

Written 06/30/2026

There’s relief in the release.

I’m learning that first comes perception

And next, comes peace.

There’s an art to not giving a fuck.

I’m seeing we’ve been conditioned

To believe, a sense over reality.

There’s discomfort in practice unknown and,

I’m realizing that we got a lot to remember.

That now, we release perception and we instead, welcome peace.

So let go

of the shame, guilt, rage,

embarrassment, irritation, disappointment.

The emotions that may come from this cognitive process

Trying to organize, identify and interpret what’s really happening.

Only we can define our perception

With fact. With understanding. With grace.

We transform our senses into experiences

Shaped by memory,

what we give our attention to,

and how we identify our expectations.

There’s relief in the release.

I’m learning that first comes perception

And next, comes peace.

There’s an art to not giving a fuck.

I’m seeing we’ve been conditioned

To believe, a sense over reality.

Let’s learn to let go

Of what he or she said.

How he or she think.

What he or she wants.

And lean into how and why we here.

The inner voice that guides us.

The only perception that counts

Is internal.
You, God.

Listen to that voice.

When perception becomes peace,

You the only voice that speaks.

You the only voice that matters.

You the one that defines how you’re seen.

So be jovial in the release.
Knowing perception comes from within.

We win, when, we let go of their beliefs.

Our success reflects the perception peace.

Maintaining Peace in the Perception

Learning to Let People Think Whatever They Want

I realized recently that I have this feeling around perception, especially as I continue to do really brave and courageous things like releasing art into the world.

The emotions I’m experiencing around perception stem especially from public image and the things I cannot control.

The Beginning of Being Seen

It started back in 2015 when I began a very public journey towards entertainment journalism with a blog titled Sammy Approved, where I interviewed the independent artists who were indeed next up.

Early on, I subconsciously intuited who would be well on their way to stardom. By utilizing some of my psychic abilities and my keen ear for great music, I would frame my questions to artists in a way that may not have always welcomed the warmest responses.

It was always out of kindness and with love but if you were misguided, it may have been taken out of context.

And honestly, isn’t that what the Internet is?

No one reads or watches things for a long time so everything can be anything.

So when starting my journey, I had this Lil Durk interview I posted where I received two really negative, nasty comments.

One was this girl saying, “What does this dyke know?”

I found that one hilarious. Cause please look at the fit. I get it lol

The other comment was some anonymous guy trying to discredit my journalism skills and I absolutely took offense to that.

I asked Durk a very reasonable question ahead of his insane run after getting the Drake feature:

“Do you ever see yourself getting out of the mixtape game?”

To which he basically responded he’s always gone be for the streets.

Cool.

And still, I prophesied that just a year or so later he would indeed be out of the “mixtape” game and a mainstream talent.

Tuh.

When Perception Became Personal

The next time I experienced some sort of public perception was when an ex lover’s Instagram got “hacked.” (to this day i don’t believe that shit but neither here nor there)

This was also at the early stages of my budding career in entertainment. I was interning at a live event space in Atlanta at that time.

In the smoldering heat, I remember my phone blowing up with random texts, calls, and voicemails.

I look online and there it is:

A photo of my then boyfriend with a girl who’s literally licking his face.

Strange.

I wasn’t even upset because of the photo or the woman, because I already knew about it. We had an understanding so I truly didn’t GAF.

I also just admitted my psychic abilities and high levels of intuition so honestly the jig had been up.

But it was the fact that this became PUBLIC information.

I felt unsafe. Compromised. Shamed. Embarrassed.

What Was Actually Hurting

I realized all of those feelings were mine. No one pushed that on me. People may have had their judgments and who are we to judge? So, who am I to care?

It was the safety I no longer felt in my own relationship that bothered me. It was also the pain that I had made these choices for myself.

While his choices weren’t mine, they still affected me. They still showed up in the way other people viewed me and my choices to even be in partnership with him.

So this is layered and complex but it’s a real experience that has shaped how I view and feel about public perception and image to this day.

Privacy Became Protection

So much so, that my relationships today are virtually unseen. I keep them very private. Unless you my people, I will neither confirm nor deny because it’s mine. My business is all that I have to hold onto.

I learned that the more you let people in, the more they feel the need to weigh in.

So to protect myself, my heart and my relationships, I just kept that all to myself.

I’ve had past partners who didn’t like that very much. They felt I was hiding my kid from the world type shit.

But really I was creating a shield to have some sort of control. My protection. My safety.

The Illusion of Control

What I know today about perception is that we don’t have control over what other people think so fuck ‘em. Lol. Literally.

It’s as simple as that. And still, I’m learning day by day how to properly release being perceived.

Red Hair Changed Everything

On a lighter note, I realized perception comes down to how we are received before we even speak.

Since dyeing my hair red over four years ago, I realized I’m literally perceived by the color or style of my hair.

I remember living in LA. When I’d visit fancy restaurants with my loose, curly fro I would not be greeted in Beverly Hills. When I’d return with a sew in or straight hair, the vibe was completely different. I’d be welcomed with love and care.

I realize, now with red hair, I can’t control that the color invites certain feelings and thoughts to the people around me.

I can, however, control the color of my hair and how it invokes thoughts and feelings for me.

I know that it makes me feel this loving, revolutionary and wildly powerful confidence that ignites me and has been an integral part of my journey as an artist and creator.

So she stays. (For now.)

Perception Is Mine

The truth is I have sovereignty over my choice of color.

How to add vibrancy or extra “oomph” to my life.

That is my choice.

Perception is mine.

So IDWTFIW, because life is really too short to question my own happiness. And quite frankly, no one else can live your life better than you.

So yeah... Do what you want. Release the song. Pitch the idea. Organize the community. Love on yourself and someone else. Make things with your hands. Put the phone down and talk to someone IRL. Go touch grass. Book the flight. Write it.

And so it is.

One Final Thought

Maintaining peace in the perception is realizing you have a choice.

A choice to not care.

A choice to not give a fuck.

The choice is really yours.

From under the sea,

OPNSEA 🌊

Subscribe now

UPDATES:

JUST KEEP SWIMMIN’ RELEASE PARTY

Now that the song is in the world, we party. If you haven’t heard the song, go play it on repeat right now! Stream here.

I wanted to throw a truly liberating experience to honor this beautiful single. It’s the first single off of my upcoming project to be released next year and we taking it on a run all summer long. I’m talking open verse challenges, dance challenges, pool parties, swim lessons, motivational chats, and all the things.

Come out to the lake this Sunday 7/5. We havin’ plates by the lake with great music, even better vibes and positive energy that will motivate you to just keep swimminnnn.

If you want to come, we have limited spots left so act fast. Reserve your spot here with password: WAVYBABY

Can’t wait to see yall there!

PATC IMPROV ATL 7/18

After two really beautiful meet ups in Atlanta, we return with the third on July 18th from 2pm-6pm. If you are interested in being part of this experience, please visit our event page and sign up with the password: WEAREFREE.

Please be sure to follow @panicatcookout and join my wavy world channel on IG @opn5ea for more details on the date. Stay tuned for updates on where we panic next. We goin global!!!

RSVP here.

FILA MEETS FIFA

The FIFA World Cup in my city has been a dream come true.

My 8 year old heart is so full. If you’ve been following the journey, you know I started my Road to FIFA late last year in hopes of getting inside that stadium. And happy to report I did just that.

The experience has been so refreshing and has shown me a few things. That while most of the world has pride in their country, Black Americans take pride in their city. And as an ATLien, we are truly so lucky to be Black, to be natives here.

I also realized how important it is for US to be at the center of these spaces. This is our land. So while people are coming to soak it all in, we must own and take up as much space as possible.

So here’s to me continuing to do that wherever I may go in this world. Forever I Love Atlanta. FILA meets FIFA.

DURTY CHAI POPPIN’ UP IN YOUR CITY

Durty Chai made its very first appearance at Arcana Atl’s Mystic Moon cosmic meet up with a special Peaches N’ Cream chai that was such a hit. We have a few more pop ups this month so stay tuned to @itsadurychai for more details!

We hope to have our actual product available on the website soon. Until then, bookmark the site and sign up for our emails so you’ll be the first to know when we drop!

Heal from the inside out here.

MAY I PRAY FOR YOU?

Wanted to extend this space for those who need some extra prayers during this time. I know we in the middle of a mercury in microbraid but there’s nothing God can’t do.

Here to support you, your dreams, your light and your life. Let me know in the comments or via email what I can add to my growing prayer list. I’m so serious. I really do get down on my knees every rising and give it all to God.

As for me? Pray for continued clarity, abundance and sovereignty over my day to day schedule. I have already made movements to shape my life the way that I want it to be by asking for more and by doing a whole lot less. So yeah, I’d appreciate the prayers for allat.

Bless you.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for watching. Thanks for remembering. I pray this all reaches you in great spirits and may you continue to remember to just keep swimmin’. Love yall fr. <3

Talk soon!

Sounds from a Tokyo diva, K Kato, celebrating freedom.

Cheers to the chai that almost didn’t show up…

Welcome back to “Sip On This,” where comfort meets consumption and every blend has a story worth telling.

This fifth installation is a little different. This one isn’t just about the chai. It’s about the road to getting it in your hands.

Share

No Recipe. No Roadmap. Just Intuition.

Let me be transparent with you for a second.

Truth is — I have no idea what I’m doing.

I didn’t have a family recipe passed down to me. No grandmother or Indian Aunty pulling me into the kitchen whispering the secrets of the perfect blend. No one to show me the way, hold my hand through the process or tell me which herbs to reach for first.

What I do have is the intuition God blessed me with and a lovely, strong sense of taste. I have the resources to travel and experience the true nature of my culture — to taste it, feel it, let it move through me and find its way back into the cup.

And honestly? That’s been enough.

The Vending Opportunity I Almost Turned Down

So when I got the invitation to vend at Arcana ATL’s Mystic Moon Experience on June 18th — I almost said no.

The packaging isn’t ready. The site is still being worked on. I didn’t feel prepared. I had a whole list of reasons why now wasn’t the right time.

Then God said — girl, please.

The Lesson My Grounded Girls Gave Me Without Knowing It

I was immediately reminded of my best friend’s business, Grounded. They started when they didn’t have it all figured out either. I remember Mignon telling me the story of how they just went for it — uncertain, unprepared by some standards and completely led by faith and audacity. Years later, several business accelerator programs and many blessings, they now have their own storefront in SE DC.

Wow.

That’s the kind of full-circle moment that only happens when you don’t let unreadiness stop you.

I’m always being reminded to just keep going. Don’t get tired of it. Just keep swimming. Be inspiring.

So thank you for the lesson, Grounded girls. I see you and I’m right behind you.

Come Sip With Me at CreateATL — June 18th

And so, we show up.

This June 18th, catch me at CreateATL with a special small batch I made just for the moment:

✦ Mystic Moon Peaches & Cream Chai — crafted to celebrate the Summer Solstice and Juneteenth. A seasonal blend that honors the sweetness of the season and the freedom it carries. With a dash of Southern hospitality cause I’m from the Durty south of Atlanta, Georgia and my dad’s people came from the Durty south of Neerattupuram, India.

[watch our journey home below learn more]

✦ OG Durty Chai — small batches of the original will be available to purchase on the day.

Come find me, come sip with me. Come be part of the first chapter of something that’s just getting started.

Until then, visit and bookmark the site! Blends will be available online soon enough.

My Gemini Has Ascended, Leo Moon Activated & We Dropping Music

And you may have heard me reciting and sharing lyrics throughout my posts online and irl. Yeah, it’s time. My Gemini has ascended and my Leo moon is peaking. I’m ready to explore and be seen.

We lighting up the summer with my debut single “just keep swimmin’” (prod. by ) ft. Music & Jordan W. Carter — releases June 19th on all streaming platforms. Go get that right now, right here!

One day after the vend. A solstice. A Juneteenth. A song about doing it anyway.

Funny how that works.

More to come on the blends, the build, and everything in between. Subscribe so you don’t miss what’s brewing.

From under the sea,

OPNSEA 🌊

Journaled 05/28/2026 12:01 PM

I feel grateful that I have a new sense of awareness about who I am and how I am becoming.

I have come to the realization that I am not who I once was.

And that is okay.

My energy has shifted. My awareness heightened. My heart expanded.

I am no longer capable of carrying it all.

My priorities have shifted and evolved.

From everyone else, to me, back to the we — that feels me.

And that is all okay.

I am finding solutions to communicate with my people, this new version of me.

I am learning me — this way — again and again.

I may need to “take a beat.”

I may need to first grab a bite to eat.

I may need to rest my feet.

I may need a little extra sleep.

Where I once could go, go go…

I’m encouraged to take a step back

And just float, flow, slow.

I am ever-changing and that is okay.
Better to change than to remain the same.

I am proud of this growth and not tied to who I once was.

A new tide emerges

And this one’s filled with even more love.

I am proud of me.

Continue to flow like the open sea.

Full of depth,

And full of reach.

Cheers to meeting a new version of me.

And so it is.

Kinda Dumping

I am changing at a rapid pace. I don’t even recognize myself sometimes. In spaces I’d once run, I’d rather hit decline. It’s like my energy is depleted after moments where I’ve extended too much.

My 20 year old self is cackling as 33 just trying to catch up.

It’s weird looking in the mirror at who I’ve become.

Not that I’m not proud. Not that I don’t feel pretty.

It’s just revealing to come completely undone. Peeling back the layers of how my mood may shift or just how quickly I’m fatigued by countless decisions. Just outright overstimulated. [sigh]

And still, I’d rather be energetically sensitive than unaware of my own rhythm.

So, I started to explore the idea of why these changes may be happening for me (and maybe you too).

Aside from stretching myself beyond the norms of who I once was, I know it has a lot to do with the crippling anxiety we face on a daily basis as Americans.

Add in a global pandemic, many mass sh**tings, the Orange Man inciting WWIII and the insane price of gas and food and you’ve got a recipe for emotional imbalance, disorientation and a need for something new.

I realize I don’t feel this way in public settings elsewhere. When I’m moving around in another country, there’s a sort of safety I feel. My nervous system calmed. That’s no coincidence.

Not sure I have the answers to how we make this home feel cozy, but I want to at least start the conversation. As I continue to find new solutions for myself, I hope to share along the way.

This is just a heads up that the girl you once knew. who was able to move and shake nonstop started to drown. Her new evolution has transformed into a woman that chooses to float.

From under the sea,
OPNSEA 🌊

Subscribe now

UPDATES:

PATC IMPROV ATL DEBUT

We are sooo back. Atlanta showed so much love for the first-ever Panic at the Cookout Improv meet up in my hometown. We had nearly 20 people in attendance and everyone came ready to just — be.

We return June 20th in the park. Be sure to RSVP here.

NEW REEL, WHO DIS?

I did a thing… I finally updated my reel with the latest and greatest. From independent films like Playlist to some old scene work and my very first lead role in a short, there’s lots to explore and more to come.

If you or someone you know is casting, this actress would like to become a working actress again. So please don’t hesitate to reach out. I love comedy, thrillers, and always down to experiment with something new.

Book ya girl.

JUNE WE BLOOM

OPNSEA is releasing her very first single next month. There’s a lot of goodness as we embrace ’s June theme of “Have No Fear, Fortune Is HERE.”

So prepare to receive this sonic medicine that will surely have you floating through your day.

I have new music, new gigs (FIFAAAA!) and more productions on the way. Who’s ready? I know I am.

GOT GOD ON THE MAINLINE

Can I pray for you?

Here to support you and your dreams. Let me know in the comments or via email what I can add to my growing prayer list.

Whether you’re looking for a new job, have health concerns or simply praying for a better tomorrow, reach out and I got you. We are so much better together.

Oh as for me? Pray for clarity, abundance and sovereignty over my day to day schedule. I would love that so much.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for watching. Thanks for remembering. I pray this all reaches you in great spirits and that you may continue to feel fulfilled wherever you are — with presence, joy and wondrous vibes. I love yall fr. <3

Talk to you soon!

Sounds from the waters of Osaka.

Welcome back to our series, “Sip On This,” where comfort meets consumption. Because mamas deserve a moment to be still, relax and tend to their hearts, minds and bodies.

Share

This fourth installation is inspired by how often mothers go without taking care of themselves. Often times, their lives post-motherhood are spent tending to everyone but themselves.

Likely why I haven’t had any children of my own because the bar is so high. I grew up watching my mom, older sister, grandma, aunts and my dad’s wife constantly looking after everyone and everything. Never once stopping to check in with what they might need. Not sure that’s on the horizon for me when motherhood arrives, because the long-term effects don’t sound too pleasant.

We are us first. We have one body. We must cherish and honor this temple for as long as we may live. These bodies are not just meant to bear and raise children. We are more than that. We create life. And without a healthy life, we wouldn’t be able to create. So yeah, it’s time to tend.

Inside you will find a new, signature Durty Chai herbal blend called Heart & Calm meant to support heart health, stress regulation, and overall cardiovascular wellness.

NOTE: it is not intended to replace prescribed medication.

As we approach Mother’s Day this Sunday, I’m reminded of how grateful I am to have my mom on this Earthly plain. Like most mothers and daughters, we have definitely had our fair share of moments where we didn’t see eye to eye. And still, there’s this calming presence that in the end everything turned out just fine.

She’s given me life. And beyond that, she’s offered me wisdom, comfort and support in moments when I didn’t even know I needed it. How could I ever repay her? Not sure I can, but I’ll try.

The past few years and more recently — the past couple months — a couple of the mamas in my life had been experiencing some not-so-fun health challenges. Their blood pressure continued to rise, their hearts raced faster and their anxieties unsettled.

For over a decade, two mothers near and dear to me have been taking medicine prescribed to them by their doctors. One of whom probably didn’t need it in the first place. The doctor took her experience with anxiety as a sign that she should just be prescribed a high dosage of blood pressure medicine. Instead of first offering herbal and movement support as most folks do out East with Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) or even Ayurvedic practices commonly used in India.

So, I did what I do best these days — research, gather and disseminate the herbal goodness they needed and STAT. Clearly, Western medicine isn’t the answer as it keeps us hooked to the American healthcare system just as they want.

And suddenly, I became the family herbalist overnight.

Following in my late Aunt Angela’s footsteps with a hop and a skip to the local farmer’s market and a holistic remedy to care for the people I love. Also trailing behind my mother’s wisdom as the family nurse, I combined her 45 years of medical knowledge with my intuitive and ancestral knowings and the AI corner of the internet to make yet another blend.

One that had some magical healing properties that worked instantly.

Not gone lie, my Western-programmed brain was shocked that something naturally grown from the Earth could be that powerful. Literally off the first cup, this mama was seeing a decline in her blood pressure levels.

Things got a bit more personal when I received a message from my mom that she was in Urgent Care due to her blood pressure rising at astronomical heights. I knew immediately that changes needed to be made and it wasn’t another high dosage of lisinopril or amlodipine — some more shit we can’t pronounce.

For the record, my mom is virtually quite healthy. She eats clean, she moves her body through the purpose of her work, and she is extremely faithful. I’m not losing my mom early to stress, high blood pressure or Western medicine.

So, I urged my mom to stick to this herbal routine and she agreed to carefully consume the signature herbal blend with a watchful eye, monitoring her blood pressure. Without medical guidance, decreasing your blood pressure levels too fast with herbs or other holistic practices while on medication can cause brain bleeding. Again, this is how they try to keep us hooked to the medicine that pays BIG.

Guess what yall? The blend worked!

My mom is well. She’s taking a lower dose and far less medication than before. Her latest update is that she went from consuming over 8 pills a day to only 2. In conjunction with the herbal tea and even more awareness around what she allows to consume her and affect her energy.

For reference, my mom’s blood pressure was in the 200’s before this Heart & Calm herbal blend I prepared. We thank God for healing and the herbs already here for us to consume safely.

Any way that I can support moms having a moment to slow down, reset and tend to themselves, I absolutely will. You deserve, mamas.

This isn’t just for the mamas though. This is for anyone experiencing anxiety, high blood pressure, stress or discomfort. This blend includes natural herbs like lemon balm which regulate our cortisol or hawthorn berry which supports the heart.

If you or someone you know might need this herbal blend, please scroll down for the full recipe.

Read more

open your hands.

receive all you can.

seek not to understand.

just open your hands…

- excerpt from a mantra I recorded in Japan

I no longer relate to the phrase that we are lost in translation. Instead, I discovered I’ve been found there.

As we — at — found ourselves hosting our first international divine dinner for our beautiful and loving host Sei-Chan and her wonderful Osaka family, I was met with the challenge to lead in breath and conversation around trust, passion and community.

Let me paint a clearer picture:

It’s me and two other co-stewards and keepers of sanctuary — Mauzy and — in the room with 6 other guests, who all speak different languages. Our other co-stewards and keepers — and — were in the kitchen creating a divine meal.

Meanwhile in this room curated for breath and dialogue, we have some who speak a little English, most who speak Chinese, a few who speak the country’s native language — Japanese — and one guy who speaks all three plus Korean. Go off, King.

Then there’s me… leading this loving and open breath with minimal understanding of any of these Asian languages. Just there with my knowledge of English and ages of wisdom from the language comprised of the heart and soul. A language that can’t be quantified in the usual linguistic sounds or symbols.

Subscribe now

What I learned from this experience is that sometimes words get in the way of what really matters. Often times, what we are trying to translate can be found in the way we love, the way we care, through the breath and through a beautiful smile.

It was so beautiful to lead in this way and I thank my community for entrusting me with such a task.

I even wrote our prompting in both English and Japanese, which we usually share at our home base experiences in stone mountain, georgia solely in English. Our guests were so grateful that we went to such great lengths to meet them where they are in their home country.

Often times, foreigners retreat to these sacred lands without any consideration of the natives who occupy ‘em. It is always my responsibility to meet people where they are with love and care, to adapt to their way of living and to leave with even more wisdom.

It truly was a one of a kind experience that made me a better listener, leader and facilitator of loving breath practice and thoughtful conversation.

As soon as I put down the Goo*le translate app and listened to the sounds of the hearts around me, I could easefully express and exchange in this practice that has truly transformed my life.

Share

One of our beautiful guests was simply brought to tears at the love and vision shared in the room.

I’m so proud of me and the 5 of us who are on a mission to bridge heaven on Earth. I am also feeling super affirmed in my own gifts and talents. And that there are like-minded individuals around the world who share in our vision of love and care for ourselves and this land. That we are not alone. That our energy is felt, seen and appreciated. That we are cared for by simply being ourselves authentically and with passion.

God is the greatest gift in guiding us to these people, these lands and these experiences. And I’ll continue to shout THAT at the top of my lungs.

You don’t have to rush to translate with words. Trust in your feeling. Trust in your heart. Trust in the breath. That is universal.

From under the sea,
OPNSEA 🌊

UPDATES:

Accolades, Achievements & Awards

Two films I’ve been part of recently are making their rounds around the world.

Playlist was admitted into a shorts program at Africa Film Society (AFS) in Accra, Ghana. It’s a series of short film blocks at a local theater in Ghana.

Dreams In Black: From the South to Los Angeles just won Best Documentary in the USA in Toronto’s International Black & Diversity Film Festival (IBDFF).

So blessed that my talents continue to take me…

Across Seas, Again

In case you missed it, I recently spent two weeks in Japan. :)

From Tokyo to Osaka, we really immersed ourselves fully and learned more about ourselves and each other. I’ll be sharing more on this journey in the coming weeks as I continue to process it all.

‘Til then, check out our time in CDMX celebrating my birthday last March.

Without travel, I may not find inspiration to create or worse…

Writer’s Block

I have been extremely blocked as a writer. I’ll start something and have a really great streak. And then, boom… nothing.

I have been questioning everything. Should I continue writing? Should I just pursue something else?

I feel like I’m good at so many things and a true Jill of all trades. I wouldn’t say I haven’t mastered any of these skills, but I do find myself letting them go often and feeling the urge to pursue something else.

Any encouragement or advice on how to stay the course would be appreciated. I often find myself motivating others, but I’ve been having trouble encouraging myself.

I know traveling feeds me and my pen. My latest travels to Japan has inspired the vision of…

Durty Chai Farmhouse Studios

Sippin on Japanese tea. From Wazuka to Sayama, we got it on us.

I’m still on a high, crafting the perfect OG Durty Chai blend. And great news: it will be available on our website very soon.

The herbal blends we create and offer will fund the larger vision of Durty Chai Farmhouse Studios as a sanctuary for conscious consumption to thrive.

We are healing from the inside out. We understand that what we feed our bodies, informs what nourishes our minds. The same way that what we feed our minds, informs how we nurture our bodies.

Take a walk with us on a journey to funding a one of a kind place — Durty Chai Farmhouse Studios. I won’t stop ‘til we see this vision of 333 acres through. This is our legacy and I strongly believe it will be done with this dream and our community by our side.

Visit our site and stay in touch.

Til next time my friends and family. Love y’all fr. Comment some things you may want to read and learn more about in the future.

Sounds from me, my Guatemalan flute and the streets of Higashiosaka, Osaka, Japan. Enjoy the “open your hands” mantra that came from the heart and soul.

Journaled 03/10/2026 9:41 PM

I’m ret to get off the grid.

Often times I wonder why I keep trying. Why we keep trying to make this work? A system that was never built with us in mind. A system that was designed for us to fail.

We find some sick pleasure in. succeeding in “making” it. In beating their game.

For what? When we could create our own system. Do what we were meant to do. Nothing unless purposeful. Unless God given.

Honoring the land, life force, our gifts, celebrating our unique places within the Universe.

Remembering the hands that have cultivated the lands that we walk on.

I’m just annoyed that because one or two men see it one way — everyone subscribes. Just cause our families settled, we believe we have to. For what? Why spend maybe 60 years of life wondering ‘what if?’

“What if I moved?”

“What if I took a risk?”

“What if I LIVED?”

That question doesn’t exist over here.

I will experience joy wherever I go.

I will experience life.

I experience love.

I experience freedom.

I experience choice.

I experience creation.

And so it is.

From under the sea,
OPNSEA 🌊

ACROSS SEAS, AGAIN

We are headed back Across Seas in a few days. After some deep meditation (and a little plant medicine) at the top of the year, I heard a loud nudge to explore the Pacific.

Now, I once lived near the Pacific for 5 years — 2019-2024. So I was a bit confused as to what message I needed now that would only find me across the Pacific Ocean.

I ran upstairs at to my chosen family and co-keepers of the space to shout, “We HAVE to go to the Pacific.” The confusion on their faces and subtle acceptance told me everything I needed to know.

That we really don’t know anything until we go. Until we decide, it’s time. So we decided. And, we’re heading to Japan!!! I’m really so grateful that God has placed people in my life who don’t question intuition, who honor their magic and who answer the call.

The reality is I’ve been nudged to explore Japan for some time. For those who have been following along for awhile, I discovered that Tokyo is one of the top cities on my astrocartography chart.

It is said that I have a heavy Saturn influence here and that Tokyo would particularly encourage mastery, focus and building something long-lasting. It’s an ideal place for structure and career longevity — for me.

Yeah, I’ll take it.

If you want, to learn more about astrocartography book me for a session and we can dive in. Email opn5eaexperience@gmail.com with the Subject Line: Astrocartography Consultation.

Happy to guide you where you need to go.

UPDATES:

ACROSS SEAS: MEXICO CITY EP. 3

In the spirit of continuing to share my travels “Across Seas,” Durty Chai Studios released another travel vlog from March 2024.

We explored Mexico City for my birthday — tapping into the culture, beautiful meals, vinyl bars, pyramids, and even hot air balloons. From vibrant moments to quiet reflections, this trip was a reminder to celebrate life as it’s happening. Which is why this took a year and some change to share, because presence is my essence and we no rush for nothinnn ya hear me?

If you’ve been thinking about taking that trip, this is your sign.

View the full series here. Subscribe so you can check out where we travel to next.

CHOOSING HAPPINESS

As we wrapped up Women’s History Month, the ladies at hosted breath of fresh air at Lake Kenilworth. It was another moment for me to share in breath practice with the collective.

Between that beautiful breath and the one we supported recently during King Cooley’s KILN: Forged Through Fire EP Grief Release experience, I am so honored and full that I can transform lives in this way.

Something I started exploring for myself as a way to deepen my meditative practice has opened up so many doors for me and affirmed me in more ways than one.

So grateful and would love to share my service offerings — primordial sound meditation, breath, and sound healing — for other communities.

Get in touch via email: opn5eaexperience@gmail.com with the Subject Line: [Service] Inquiry.

PANIC AT THE COOKOUT RETURNS

We Spiraling Upwards in the best way possible with our family at , utilizing laughter as medicine. Panic at the Cookout improv link up returns and for the first time, we’re meeting in Atlanta.

There’s a lot of nonsense going on outside, so we making outside fun again with some natural medicine that is the great outdoors. Meet us at a local park, bring your own everything and leave the sensitivities at homeee.

More details to come. If you’re interested, be sure to follow Panic at the Cookout on IG and TikTok for updates.

NOT I WENT VIRAL

This video is still doing numbers. It was such a simple video I envisioned we would share, and it’s now blossomed into so much more. I saw fit to share more as I dive deeper into the work Durty Chai’s doing to create conscious consumers from the inside out.

Now, we’re creating custom blends and are currently working on building out the website so that you can grab yours and support the mission of healing through creative storytelling. Thought we were going to give yall an OG chai and go about our film business, but it appears God has another call.

As we answer, please visit the site, subscribe and reach out if you’re interested in a custom blend for you or a loved one.

CALL THE PRAYER HOTLINE

Can I pray for you?

Here to support you and your dreams. Let me know in the comments or via email what I can add to my growing prayer list. Whether you’re looking for a new job, have health concerns or simply praying for a better tomorrow, reach out and I got you. We are so much better together.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for watching. Thanks for remembering. I pray this all reaches you in great spirits and that you may continue to feel fulfilled wherever you are — with presence, joy and wondrous vibes. I love yall fr. <3

Sounds from the birds in the wild (and beautiful) Mexico City.

Welcome back to our series, “Sip On This,” where comfort meets consumption. Cause ain’t nothing more uncomfortable than feeling groggy and hungover.

While you have every right to indulge if you feel called, just here to remind you that you don’t have to drink alcohol to feel good or have a great time. As someone who’s nearly 1 year completely sober from alcohol — including wine and champagne — I have found herbal ways of soothing myself in moments where I assume alcohol is the only way.

Did you know there are herbs that will lift you, your energy and your mood? Herbs like lemon balm are calming and help ease anxious thoughts or discomfort in the body to allow us to fully relax in the present moment.

For my birthday this year, I invited a group of my closest friends and family over for a lifting session (lil herbal goodness 🍃 cause I never said I was completely sober. we can talk about this later) on a Friday night.

Because I personally don’t drink any more and realize some of my friends still indulge but may be sober curious, I just invited them to try the mocktail I had prepared for the evening. They were still welcomed to partake in whatever they wanted to in my home — as long as it was safe and not harmful to anyone else.

Naturally — because I wasn’t partaking — everyone pretty much brought non-alcoholic beverages or indulged in what we’d provided. I was pleasantly pleased. I still have a bunch of nonalcoholic wine and champagne I haven’t tried just yet.

I made this gathering a whole thing. I went to a local thrift store and purchased new glassware. It is so luxurious btw. I’m obsessed. I made sure I specially sourced my herbs and produce ahead of time too.

I started prepping this mocktail for the homies the night before by juicing and starting on the base of the drink (hibiscus tea). With the help of my brother on the day, we also crafted a delicious herbal infused sweetener to top the drinks.

And even before prepping with juicing and brewing, I did research on what herbs would be most supportive for this occasion. Something celebratory, something lifting, something energizing, something delicious.

After a long Friday, I knew we all could use a boost to make it through the night with energy to interact and socialize. All these herbs and additions I chose for the mocktail — and allowed for my intuition to take the lead on — became extremely supportive.

Thanks for joining me and I hope that this is helpful on your journey if you are sober curious or continuing to be a more conscious consumer.

So, this is what I came up with.

Keep scrolling for the “Mocktail For The Homies” recipe.

Read more

Twas the day before my birthday and I found myself researching what the weather was like the day I was born — Friday, March 5, 1993. 33 years ago today — March 5, 2026.

Apparently it was generally mild and pleasant. It was referred to as the “calm before the storm.” There was a massive record-breaking snowstorm that arrived 7 days later, causing power outages and several deaths. My hometown of Atlanta found itself blanketed with over 10.3 inches of snow and that one storm caused over $5.5 billion in damages.

I found that scenario quite symbolic to the whirlwind that the world becomes from the moment we arrive. It could go from sunny and bright — one day — to snowy and chaotic in just — a matter of days. While we can’t control the weather or the waves, one thing a Pisces will teach you is we can absolutely take hold of our reactions and ride the tides.

Peak Pisces over [points to self] here to start this day with a wild flashback in time — and the point is — I’ve learned so much in my 33 years of life. One of the biggest lessons is I have no control of this ride. I surrendered 3 years ago.

Today, the weather is a high of 77 degrees with a slight overcast. The low is 56 degrees. (Who knew I’d turn into a meteorologist on my 33rd birthday but we here lol).

I plan to rest, relax, and release. I’ll be starting my day with a beautiful run in this pleasant weather. After, I’ll enjoy the saunas + my first yoni steam at Spa Land. Later, I’ll connect with my loved ones for an intimate, celebratory dinner at La Semilla and dancing at a listening bar called STEREO.

This is just the beginning of a full weekend of activities.

The next day I plan to host a group of close friends and family at our home for a sesh and mocktail tasting. Later, we’ll parlay in the city at this cute little bar off the Beltline. It’s called Vesper. Never been before but looks cool and they have a nice selection of moderately priced mocktails for this [points to self again] Sober Sammy.

Saturday me and my family are driving up to Asheville, North Carolina to see me in a freakin’ museum! Like WTF? Little me would be geeeeked. I was featured in a documentary called Dreams In Black: With Love From the South to Los Angeles. The documentary was written, directed and produced by my sister friend Destiny D. Owens. It’s so beautiful to have been included in this.

And while they are hosting a [SOLD OUT] screening and talk back in my old stomping grounds of Inglewood, California on Saturday, I’ll be at the YMI Cultural Center in North Carolina witnessing my story in an actual museum.

My GOD I thank you for being living art. For getting my flowers while I can still smell them. While dreaming, being Black, being loved, being creative, being Southern, being joyful, being kind, being compassionate, being of service and being ME… unapologetically.

As many folks know, 33 is often referred to as your “Jesus year.” It’s the year and age that Jesus Christ was believed to have been crucified and resurrected. While the Bible does not explicitly state his age at death, scholars calculated it based on Luke 3:23. It says he was “about 30” when he began his ministry and the Gospel of John, which describes three Passovers occurring before his crucifixion. (30+3 = 33).

Ironically enough, a few years before 30 around 27 or 28 is when I began a deeper spiritual walk with God, the divine and myself. So, this year is truly a moment of major transformation, spiritual initiation and clarification around my ultimate purpose.

When they ask “What Would Jesus Do (W.W.J.D.),” I had to really think long and hard about it as I reflect back on what this year will bring to me and what I will offer to myself and the world.

Since my initial walk with spirit over 6 years ago, I have been getting this call to teach and share wisdom. To use my art to enlighten and heal the world. To reflect back the goodness that’s inside ALL of us imperfect human beings.

After deeper reflection, I stopped asking myself W.W.J.D. And instead, ask myself “What Would Chelsea Do?” W.W.C.D.

Jesus was a human being that walked this Earth. Yes, the son of Christ. And also very much so a human with flesh just like you and I.

So what would I do?

33 is deeply communal (as the years before have been). I intend to be of service and activating more in community with clarifying intuition, passion, compassion, love, intuition, clarity, and balance. I intend to serve the people and myself by intentionally focusing on our healing and wellbeing in the midst of a very unjust and survival society. I plan to combat the injustice of this world with compassion and love just as Jesus did.

This will all feel innovative, progressive and like a new wave for sure. I have no intention of preaching tradition. This is not a biblical time. Though we are remembering and honoring ancient wisdom and our ancestors to lead us. I am not alone in this plan to bridge heaven on Earth and neither was Jesus.

I’ve said a lot and I plan to do more so let’s take a look at 33 Ways To Embody God. Shall we?

✨ 33 Ways ✨ Embody God ✨

(w/ gratitude, love & compassion — the OPNSEA way)

1. Wake up and say thank you before you touch your phone.
Presence before performance. Get on your knees and thank God that you’ve returned to contribute meaningfully on Earth.

2. Drink water like it’s holy.
Because it is. Yall know how I feel about the sacredness of water. Pour it with intention, drink it like you mean it.

3. Pray over your food — even if it’s simple.
Acknowledge the hands and land that fed you. Bless your food before it blesses you.

4. Ask the tree before you pluck from it.
Gratitude before taking. Service, honor and offering before extraction. That doesn’t just go for the tree.

5. Apologize when you’re wrong without protecting your ego.
In the word’s of J. Cole, nobody’s perfect. Ego doesn’t live here any more.

6. Invest in your healing.
Therapy, coaching, or healing work is worth the cost. Not because you’re broken, but because you’re breaking cycles and that takes energy, time and sometimes coins.

7. Feed someone else before feeding your own indulgence.
Give. Give. Give. Consider someone else before you think of how much you can feed yourself. Likely, you have had enough.

8. Call your parents and ask about their childhood.
Even if it’s complicated. Honor your present elders and remember their stories as likely their wisdom can carry us today.

9. Tell the truth gently, but fully.
Say what it is. All the fluff and the frills is a distraction and frankly a waste of time from the mission at hand. Get to it. Go deep.

10. Rest without earning it.
God rested too.

11. Shop local.
Circulate the Black and Brown dollar. Strengthen the ecosystem. We all we got.

12. Compost what no longer serves you — physically and emotionally.
Let it go and let it grow. Transmute the waste to cultivate something great.

13. Release the need to win.
Forget about success. Forget about the need to be right or win an argument, industry, or whatever. We’re all just doing shit and figuring it out as we go. Remember that.

14. Forgive without reconciling prematurely.
I know they say we should forgive and forget but this is my list and let me just say this: it’s important to take note. People show you who they are. Yes, they are allowed to grow but let them SHOW you.

15. Move your body daily Compost what no longer serves you — physically and emotionally.
This is an act of gratitude to yourself and God who has given you the body to be of service to this world. Can’t do that with a body that can no longer support you.

16. Choose music that elevates your nervous system.
Sound is spiritual. Sing it if nothing else resonates. Rejoice to the heavens just cause.

17. Create something instead of consuming something.Choose music that elevates your nervous system.
This is one of the most important ones. We are all creators who come from the Creator. We are meant to share our gifts and not over consume other folks creative contributions.

18. Bless your home out loud.
Every room. Every corner. Make it a practice of protection and reverence.

19. Protect your womb space — energetically and physically.
This is our creation center. A sacred space. Honor her.

20. Say no without over explaining.
I’m not explaining this one. Cause what did I just say?

21. Eat slower.
Gluttony isn’t just about quantity — it’s about consciousness. Become a conscious consumer.

22. Let the children speak.
Don’t interrupt their magic. Let their throat chakras be open and empower them to use their voices. This goes for your inner child too. You’d be surprised what you learn.

23. Speak your people’s love language.
Intentionally love on your people the way they need to be loved. Spend quality time, send them words of affirmation, make their day easeful with an act of service, or gift them small tokens of your love.

24. Honor your ancestors without romanticizing their trauma.
Say thank you to the ones who came before and the ones carrying you here. Remember their hearts and their compassion. Not saying hold onto the damage they may have carried as collateral. Just honor and give thanks.

25. Grow something — herbs, food, ideas.
You + the land = a dangerously good combo. When we grow something with our hands, we remind ourselves just what we’re capable of feeding one another. Goodness. Greatness. GODness.

26. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb and sit with the stars.
Sit with yourself. Gaze at the stars. Be present to listen so that you can intentionally respond when the time is right. Cosmos always lead the way.

27. Give anonymously when you can.
Cheerful giving isn’t loud. It’s done in the silent moments and without reward. Trust, many offerings await you on the other side. Just know, that’s not what it’s all about.

28. Laugh loudly. Humor heals bloodlines.
Laughter is medicine. The phrase laugh to keep from crying. They weren’t lying. And also, release however you need to. I just loooove to laugh.

29. Return borrowed energy — don’t carry what isn’t yours.
God be with me on this one here. This is a revolutionary act of self-care and a way of being repaid to restore true balance. It’s necessary.

30. Stand in front of the mirror and thank yourself.
Thank your mind, body and spirit with gentle affirmations of love, gratitude and compassion.

31. Invest in land, soil, and sustainability when possible.
Stewardship is divine work. It’s necessary that we care for the life all around us. Thank you God for this work.

32. Share your story.
This is significant so that your people know that they are not at all alone. That we are more alike than we think. That we have shared visions and dreams to create a better place to coexist.

33. Dare to dream out loud — and back it with action.
Faith without works is idle. So we must innovate, progress, and somehow, return all at the same time. It’s possible.

To embody God isn’t to be perfect.

It’s to remember:

We are all part of an ecosystem.
We feed one another.
We heal forward.
We consume consciously.
We create intentionally.

And when comfort meets consumption, when awareness meets action — that’s divinity in motion.

Cheers to 33! ✨

From under the sea,
OPNSEA 🌊

When Comfort Meets Consumption

A Durty Chai Series

Back for Part 2 of our “Sip On This” series. Where comfort meets consumption. Take a deep breath, open your heart, expand your mind and let’s explore where and how we are sourcing what we intake.

“What do you eat?”
“Can you eat this?”
“I know you don’t be eating meat and stuff. What can you eat?”

These are the questions and comments I get about my lifestyle often.

And it’s not because I’m extreme. It’s not because I’m difficult. It’s because once I stopped focusing only on what I consume and started honoring how and why I consume, everything shifted.

The rippling effects were undeniable.

A foggy mind became clear.
My body felt lighter.
My intuition sharpened.

I finally figured something out.

So as we continue to Dare to Dream about creating a more sustainable future through Durty Chai Farmhouse Studios, let’s start at the root:

• Where are we sourcing our food?

• And, why does healing from the inside out matter for our evolution?

Check out Pt 1 of this series to understand where we’re going from here:

I’m Not Restrictive. I’m Conscious.

It’s not that I don’t eat meat.
It’s not that I’m picky.

I actually love food. Deeply. And I’ve worked (and am still working) very hard to have a beautiful relationship with food and eating.

I’m just a conscious consumer.
I’m a particular eater.

I don’t believe everything deserves to be tasted.

And that doesn’t just apply to food.

It applies to what we listen to.
What we watch.
Who we speak to.

Because it’s not just what’s on our physical plates, it’s also:

• What are you pushing and who’s pushing you?

• What are you carrying and how does it carry you?

• Why are you ingesting it?

• How are you taking inventory of what’s in your personal pantry?

Take a moment with those.

Yes, I Read the Label.

So yes, I want to know if the lamb is halal and where you sourced it from.

Yes, I read the back of food labels.

And honey, when we reach the 7th ingredient and it’s still going? I’m alarmed. I place that product back in its respective place — the trash.

If I can’t stand the sight of something, the smell of it, or I’m sensitive to the feeling or texture of it, why would I take it in?

Animals and plants carry vibrations. They carry their own pasts and experiences.

What do you think happens when we slaughter, cut, cook, and consume them?

We take it alllll in.

And that can be dangerous.

Gluttony Is a Conversation We Avoid

I want to maximize my time here on Earth by moving my body and feeding it only what it needs.

One of the biblical sins people conveniently bypass is gluttony.

Why?

Because it’s not murder, so it feels lighter?

Wrong.

Overindulgence is absolutely a sin.

All living presence on Earth exists in an ecosystem of exchange. Everything feeds something. So greed, excess, and overconsumption disrupt that sacred balance.

This isn’t about going completely plant-based. Animals and plants both carry energy.

This is about reverence.

Ask the tree before you displace it.
Honor the lamb before you sacrifice it.
Pray over the herb before you roll it.

Before we know it, because of overconsumption, folks will really be eating 3D meat.

And I’m saying “folks” because I will not be indulging.

Conscious Consumption Is a Return

This is why I’m starting now — with my personal walk of conscious consumption.

The more we remember and return to the original ways of our people, the easier life becomes. We move back into sustainability. Into traditions that honor the land — a land that wants to nurture us when we return the favor.

It’s reciprocal.

All living organisms feed one another.

So when we are kind and respectful to the land, how do you think those thriving from it respond?

Wonderfully.

And yes — this affects your elaborate dreams. Your plans. Your movements. Your creative output.

Honor that.

Subscribe now

A Few Keys to Exploring Where + How We Source Food:

Listen to your body.

It whispers before it screams. If you get a funny feeling when you reach for something, that’s your spirit saying, “Nah not this. We don’t want it.” Listen to the voice inside of YOU. Everyone’s body is different. Honor that.

Read the label.

If you can’t pronounce it or understand it, pause. And for real, just put it down. You can likely make it yourself. The process businesses are taking our foods through are not helpful to our bodies. Their need to preserve foods for the sake of its’ shelf life does nothing for the years you have on YOUR life.

Shop your local farmer.

Shake the hand that feeds you. Shop with the folks that are actually caring for the land and cultivating the foods with care. Get to know them because their energy is what you consume as well. We are all part of this ecosystem feeding one another.

Invest in your wellbeing.

You are the soil your dreams grow from. That might cost you time, money or energy but isn’t it worth it when what you produce is 10x more fruitful with a conscious mind. That seat of intuition, your sacral chakra, located right below your belly button, yeah that needs to be clear and it starts with consumption and a new investment. So put down the pradas and pick up the plate.

Because conscious investment always yields greater return.

I could say so much more, but this feels full for now.

If this resonated and you want to support our dream of securing 333+ acres for Durty Chai Farmhouse Studios, here’s how you can help:

Become a Paid Subscriber

Get exclusive updates, behind-the-scenes access, and help fund the Durty Chai ecosystem of healing through creative storytelling.

Subscribe now

Follow the Journey

Visit our website and stay tuned for our upcoming crowdsourcing campaign as we design this one-of-a-kind production studio and sustainable product line.

Tell a Friend

Share what we’re building. Word of mouth is powerful.

If you’d like to support in other ways, email us:
durtychaiproductions@gmail.com

From under the sea,
OPNSEA 🌊

photo: me maybe 5 years old & my dad | sounds: ‘ego no’ mo’ - OPNSEA 🌊 flow

(Wipes Forehead) So, I Guess It’s Time

Today, I’m choosing to share something that I pray will heal the generations to come. Today, I am expressing how the first man that was meant to love me left me abandoned more times than I’d rather say aloud.

Instead of sulking in the dark fact of a man — who was abandoned himself — I chose to address it for myself in the form of a letter.

And don’t worry, my Dad’s not actually blocked anymore at least. He was for about 3-4 months last summer when I had just about enough. But now, he just won’t see this because he isn’t a paid subscriber and has probably never read anything I’ve written before in his life. So yeah.

The coast is clear. And also, if you read this Dad... GREAT. Hope it serves as a reminder. I won’t sit quietly.

I didn’t write this letter to my father in silence.
I didn’t hide it in my notes app or whisper it into a journal I never planned to share.

I sent it.

Four years ago. Back in 2022. On Father’s Day.

I sent it with intention, with care, and with the belief that honesty—real honesty—could be a doorway. I wanted my dad to know me. I wanted to know him. I wanted us to meet somewhere beyond roles, expectations, and inherited distance.

He called me immediately after reading it.
Not after sitting with it.
Not after reflecting.
Immediately.

And on that call, he told me that, “I was young and didn’t know what I was doing.”

In his mind, that explanation was enough.

To his credit, he tried—for a moment. For a few weeks, he showed up differently. More attentive. More careful. More present. It felt like repair was possible, like the letter had cracked something open.

And then, just as quickly, he fell back into old habits.

Four years later, not much has changed.

He still doesn’t really know me.
And I don’t know much more about him.

That reality used to break my heart. Now, it informs my boundaries.

I gave him another opening when I gifted him a book—one that asks the reader to write their story, to reflect, to remember themselves on the page. I hope one day he actually writes in it. I hope one day I get to hear his story in his own words, not just through silence or assumptions.

But I’ve learned something crucial in the waiting.

The Liberation Is in the Sending

The beauty of this letter isn’t in the response I received.
It’s in the fact that I told the truth anyway.

I didn’t send it expecting perfection. I sent it because I refused to carry what wasn’t mine anymore. I sent it because healing doesn’t require permission. I sent it because speaking breaks cycles—even when the other person can’t meet you there.

This is what healing ourselves and our lineage actually looks like.

Not everyone will rise to the awareness you reach.
Not every parent will be able to name their own harm.
Not every relationship will transform just because you did the work.

And still—YOU are free.

I am sharing this now not from a place of secrecy, but from sovereignty. From knowing that telling the truth liberated me, regardless of whether it transformed him.

In recent years, a lot of my closest friends turned family have experienced the grave loss of a father. Fathers whom may not have had a relationship with their children. And still, I witnessed my friends faced with the emotions and grief that comes with not having the option to talk to a parent. The shoulda, coulda, woulda’s of it all. Not being able to advocate for themselves or get a response from their dads.

So complaining about my relationship with my parent wasn’t going to change anything. Setting my emotions and grief free through my favorite pastime — writing — was the only way.

If you’ve ever found yourself butting heads with a parent—not because you don’t love them, but because you see too clearly now—this is for you. If you’re in the strange, sacred tension of honoring where you come from while refusing to repeat what harmed you, stay with me.

Because awareness changes everything.
And once you see, you can’t unsee.

The Space Between Love & Awareness

Many of us are reaching a level of consciousness our parents were never given language for.

We are the generation investing in therapy, life coaching, nervous system regulation, self-care that goes beyond aesthetics, and healing that asks uncomfortable questions. Not because we’re “soft,” but because we’re tired of surviving.

And that awareness comes with weight.

Especially when your parents are immigrants.
Especially when you are first-generation.
Especially when you are the firstborn.

My father immigrated from India carrying resilience, faith, and responsibility—but very little room for emotional presence. My mother was thrust into adulthood and motherhood with minimal support beyond her spiritual foundation. They did what they could with what they had.

And still—impact matters.

Awareness creates friction because it asks us to unlearn, remember, and reclaim at the same time. It asks us to honor our parents’ sacrifices without romanticizing their harm. It asks us to stop performing gratitude at the expense of our truth.

That’s why so many of us feel like we’re standing at a crossroads:
Do I stay loyal to the version of myself that kept the peace—or do I choose the version that tells the truth?

Progress demands the latter.

Why We’re Butting Heads

We’re not rebelling.
We’re remembering.

Remembering what safety actually feels like in the body.
Remembering what boundaries sound like out loud.
Remembering that love doesn’t require self-abandonment.

Our parents often equate questioning with disrespect.

“Obey thy mother. Obey thy father.”

We equate silence with self-betrayal.

That gap? That’s the work.

And for those of us carrying the added responsibility of being “the first”—the first to name patterns, the first to seek help, the first to live differently—the grief can feel lonely. Necessary. Heavy. Holy.

This is where I found myself when I wrote a letter to my dad.

A letter I sent.
A letter he read.
A letter that tells the truth.

Why This Matters for the Future

I refuse to carry these patterns forward. I am no longer holding onto the emotions, grief or baggage handed to me. I no longer feel the way I did four years ago. And, my spirit has been calling me to share this to someone in need. So again, here you are.

[Keep reading, the letter is near]

I refuse to bring emotional distance, unspoken resentment, or unmet needs into my children’s lives—if and when I’m blessed to have a family of my own. That is the work of this generation: to stop saying “this is just how it is” and start saying “this ends with me.”

We heal ourselves so we don’t hand our wounds down like heirlooms.

Again, this letter is not an act of rebellion.
It’s an act of remembrance.
Of choosing consciousness over comfort.
Of honoring my parents’ humanity without sacrificing my own.

The letter lives below—not as a confession, but as a record of liberation.

If you’ve ever told the truth and still had to grieve the outcome…
If you’ve ever done the work and realized others might not…
If you’re committed to healing forward, even when it’s lonely—

This is for you.

A Letter to My Father

I’m sharing this letter not to villainize, but to liberate—myself and anyone who sees themselves in these words. And also serve as a template for what you may want to send to the parent that is still healing and still learning…

It’s about gratitude and grief.
Love and distance.
Accountability and compassion.

If you’ve ever struggled to name what felt off but couldn’t quite articulate it…
If you’ve ever been introduced as “the other child”…
If you’ve ever wanted your parent to see you instead of the version that’s easiest for them to love…

The full letter lives below.

If this resonated, I invite you to:

• Become a paid subscriber to support this work and access the full letter

• Share this post with someone navigating family, healing, or first-generation complexity

• Leave a comment if you’re in your own process of unlearning and remembering

Your presence here matters more than you know.

Letter to Dad (Paid Subscribers Only)

Dad,

First, I want to start by saying I’m so grateful for the many sacrifices you have made for us…

[The full letter continues here, behind the paywall.]

Read more

When Comfort Meets Consumption

A New Durty Chai Series

We are what we eat?
Well honey, what we eat becomes what we create.
And NOBODY talks about that part.

This is an extension of our “Sip On This” series from Durty Chai called When Comfort Meets Consumption. It’s a living inquiry into how nourishment, land, creativity, and care are deeply intertwined.

We are starting to share why the vision of Durty Chai Farmhouse Studios is immensely important to us, creating a better future together.

This series exists because I have a dream.
A dream bold enough to feel inconvenient.
A dream that dares us to imagine better.

The “Dare to Dream” Challenge

We are boldly putting ourselves and this vision out there. Unapologetically. Shouting about why we dare to dream!

“We are asking artists to create magic while feeding them food that disconnects them from their bodies.”

That’s the problem.

Pesticides are in our food.
In our soil.
In our bodies.

And consumption doesn’t stop at the stomach.
It informs…

How we think.
How we move.
How we imagine.
How we create.

Yet creators are expected to show up for 12–14 hour days on set.
Running on catered meals sealed in plastic containers, stripped of vitality, disconnected from the land and from themselves. Tuh.

So I asked a different question:

What if creators had more than a meal?
What if they were nourished?

What if films, albums, commercials, and digital worlds were born from farm-to-table meals grown with intention—food that actually supported the nervous system, the imagination, the spirit?

That question became a vision.

Watch the Dare to Dream video:

The Solution

This is the vision behind Durty Chai Farmhouse Studios.

333 acres of stewarded LAND
Where conscious consumption is the mission.
Where pesticide-free farming isn’t a trend—it’s a remembering.
A return to ancient wisdom that honored the land and the people tending it.

This isn’t about extraction.
It’s about nourishment.

It’s about feeding the body so the imagination can expand.
Creating without repeating the harm our ancestors endured on these same lands.
Building a future that doesn’t ask creators to burn themselves out to be seen.

When we change what we consume,
we change what we create.

Fully resourced, we can shift from surviving to building—
cultivating conscious consumption from the inside out.

Why This Matters

The why is simple, but not small:

• Healing from the inside out

• Creating conscious consumption

• Healing through the art of creative storytelling (music, tv, film, commercial and digital content)

• Sharing stories that are meaningful, timeless, and intentional

Durty Chai is where comfort meets consumption.
Where consciousness pairs with creation.
Where nourishment becomes a creative practice.

So why dare to dream—
when this can be our reality?

How You Can Help

If this vision speaks to you, here’s how you can support:

• Become a paid subscriber on Substack to directly support the work

• Share + repost the Dare to Dream video—online and offline

• Follow the journey as we prepare for an upcoming crowdfunding campaign to procure the 333 acres, farming and studio equipment, and a full team needed to bring this vision to life

Let’s build the future by remembering the past.

Share

We will continue sharing this vision throughout the months and years to come. So if you’re curious, comment a question below. We will answer the call on our website, which is a work in progress.

From under the sea,
OPNSEA 🌊

UPDATES:

I Graduated From One Creator Lab

I’ve officially graduated and started meeting with recruiters. I’m not sure what’s to come yet, but I know it will only be goodness. I’m on a personal mission to secure $100K in brand partnerships by 3/1. If you can support or connect me to opportunities, please tap in. I’d really appreciate it. Til then, here’s 8 things I’ve learned from my growing creator journey.

We Entered the Dare To Dream Competition

We submitted for $100K to support Durty Chai’s mission. That’s what this entire post is about so you get the gist. This funding would allow us to focus fully on this vision, securing land and beginning to procure equipment. This is a multi-million dollar project, and I truly believe we can be fully operating by 2030.

Our Home Has a Registry

Thank you to everyone who has supported me on this journey of homeownership—by coming to cook and share meals, sending candles that make the house smell divine, furniture that provides comfort, and supporting my wellness practices. I feel held. If you’d like to support with anything else we may need, the registry link is open. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

My Road to FIFA

I’ve only shared one video so far because the weather’s been wild—and still, I’ve already received an opportunity to potentially work with a brand during FIFA. I’m praying on it and keeping things close, but if you know of any opportunities, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Your Creative Coach, Your Intuitive Guide

I’m not going to talk much about this. IYKYK. I’m an intuitive creator and guide. I want to affirm you and see our visions come to life. Tap services and book a consultation with me here.

Our Prayer List Is Growing

The state of the world is what it is. And still, it doesn’t have to be our world. We are actively creating heaven on earth with the community and beyond. If you’d like me to be intentional about adding you to my prayer list, reply here. I love y’all, for real.

Whew, that’s it… that’s all. Thanks for reading! Talk soon. <3

If you enjoy THE OPNSEA, it would mean the world to me if you invited friends to subscribe and read with us. If you refer friends, you will receive benefits that give you special access to THE OPNSEA.

How to participate

1. Share THE OPNSEA. When you use the referral link below, or the “Share” button on any post, you'll get credit for any new subscribers. Simply send the link in a text, email, or share it on social media with friends.

Refer a friend

2. Earn benefits. When more friends use your referral link to subscribe (free or paid), you’ll receive special benefits.

• Get a 1 month comp for 3 referrals

• Get a 3 month comp for 7 referrals

• Get a 6 month comp for 25 referrals

Visit the leaderboard

To learn more, check out Substack’s FAQ.

Thank you for helping get the word out about THE OPNSEA!

“We are so blessed to be uniquely us. Talented and gifted. In God we trust. That when opportunity meets preparation, we have all we need. To live at our highest level, to move up and succeed. To be a vessel for God’s enlightened visions. A byproduct of Her heart, relying on destined decisions,” me to me.

I’m so grateful for this gift and I promised myself on Dec. 17, 2025 that I will no longer sit on my talents. These words must be shared. And one day, they will live on in museums. I’m sure of it.

It’s ironic as I look back on this year of staying the course, because my words do have a home. Right here on Substack.

In the midst of me transitioning from Mailchimp in Sept. 2024 to this platform, my community and the community on here has welcomed me and my random thoughts with open arms. You have sent words of affirmation via text and in person. You have liked and reshared my words that have resonated deeply with you. You have been moved to start your own Substacks and get your ideas on the page. You have encouraged me when I couldn’t quite encourage myself.

And for that, I am soooo grateful.

Let’s take a look back on what we learned this year from THE OPNSEA 🌊

JANUARY

We learned that it’s not about perfection but it’s about presence with this Substack about “Finding Purpose in the Performance.”

FEBRUARY

We discovered God’s fingerprints in ALL things. We learned how to see God in the movement. Read more from February’s downloads

MARCH

We eased into Spring with some helpful wellness tips and practices. We realized the responsibility of our desires is not ours at all. Take notes from March on your wellness walk.

APRIL

When tribe follows the chief who doesn’t want to be traced, you wonder why God appointed you. We learned why people naturally gravitate toward you in April’s Substack.

MAY

May threw us a wild monkey wrench with the passing of my sister friend Euzahn. My whole world stopped and just like that, “Oh Grief, We Meet Again.” Somehow on May 27th I found the meaning of being alive again.

JUNE (Really JULY)

We remembered. We discovered that there’s freedom in doing just that. We gave ourselves grace for not showing up fully online in June and gave a double dose for July. On the fourth, we shared “There’s Freedom In Remembering.”

JULY

We dive headfirst into Human design while finding “comfort” in the leap. News flash: Ain’t nun comfortable about stepping out on faith but we move.

AUGUST

We learned about ourselves through a collective community fast that allowed us to return right back to our core.

SEPTEMBER

We learned how to shift in September, seeking paradise from within. No longer chasing sunsets, palm trees and ocean views.

OCTOBER (Really November)

This was a fun one, building my own wavy world. We learned more about world building in October/November.

NOVEMBER

We were reminded to give thanks each and every day.

DECEMBER

We learned to sit still, reflect and enjoy each moment with loved ones and most importantly, with ourselves. We’re nesting and celebrating into the New Year. It’s my mom’s birthday so we taking a mini getaway to center ourselves and realign ahead of 2026.

The New Year doesn’t really begin until February/March so don’t feel pressure to have the entire year all figured out. Rest, restore and relax. If you are looking for a space to envision your ‘26, join us at sanctuary on Jan. 3. RSVP here.

Happy 2025! We survived AND we thrived. <3 Talk to you soon!

From under the sea,
OPNSEA 🌊

Subscribe now

With the holidays approaching, I’m reminded of how oppressive and capitalistic it all is. From a day that stripped away the lives of the Indigenous families that once cultivated this country’s lands to commodifying gathering with family over a shared meal, it’s actually inhumane and far from what our communities are traditionally accustomed to.

So, we don’t just choose a random Thursday to give thanks. We don’t wait until a system tells us to gather around a table with our families over a homemade meal. We don’t capitalize human connection. Instead, we remember gratitude each day. We take time to share and be with each other amidst this system that was built to destroy the very things that revitalize us.

Imagine a life that didn’t survive on overconsumption. Imagine a life that wasn’t designed to move so fast. A life that is easeful. A slow evening preparing a meal for our families each day. A routine that involves the entire family. A space for everyone to contribute. A moment that doesn’t put the responsibility on the matriarch of the family. Imagine a life that is rooted in gratitude for the very things sustaining our existence. Imagine a life that is filled with collective care.

Give thanks.

Each and every day.

Give honor and remember that our communities gathered in love, around fire, in the water, under the sun and all with gratitude. This life isn’t certain but the love and appreciation we have for life is a sure thing.

More that inspired this writing:

I wanted to also share an excerpt from my rising pages (a practice extended to me by ‘The Artist’s Way’) that relates directly to extending gratitude just because we made it another day.

EXCERPT:

November 5, 2025 | 12:14 PM

Today, I want to start by thanking God for my drive and will to be great. For the desire to consistently improve myself and our communities. For the vision and will to preservere even when times get hard or challenging rather.

I am just immensely grateful for life itself. I know that there are moments where I may feel discouraged but today is not one of those days.

Instead, today, I feel motivated. I feel inspired because those around me inspire me. I feel loved because those around me are loving.

This reminded me that gratitude for the smallest things should be expressed each day. Not just on a holiday that condemns and conceals the wrongs of this country for those that came before us. Those who cultivated the very lands that we capitalize. It’s sick.

So, while I may choose to eat and gather with my loved ones on this day, I do want to acknowledge that this will not be the last time. We can do it on Friday, Saturday and Sunday too. We can put the phones down, turn off the televisions and choose one of the most loving acts of humanity: preparing a loving and nurturing meal for the ones we love and gathering just because. Not because it’s a random Thursday that America says is “Thanksgiving.”

And so it is.

From under the sea,
OPNSEA 🌊

I have some beautiful life updates to share if you choose to continue reading, but first I wanted to extend some notes that I gathered from my rising pages. I hope that these words lift you and reach you in divine timing.

FROM MY MIND TO THE PAGE:

UPDATES:

HYROX HALLOWEEN

We competed in our very first HYROX Doubles in Atlanta on Halloween. What a joy it is to recognize that we can do hard things. It helped me reframe my idea of success, knowing just how important participating in this competition was for my sister Kayla.

I wasn’t interested in competing at first. Actually, I thought it was quite silly that people were doing this just for fun. It wasn’t for some cash prize or even a fancy medal afterwards. It was simply about reminding ourselves that our bodies are capable and with discipline and in routine we can always see it through.

So shout out my sis for coming with me for inviting me to challenge myself. Let’s make it an annual thing where we do a couple fitness challenges a year just because. Who’s with us?

And make sure you fuel up, hydrate and rest afterwards. My happy ass went straight to the Monica and Brandy concert that night with my big sister. I was hurt for a week after that. lol But it was sooo worth it to see those powerhouse performers.

MORE MOMENTS TO DREAM

I had to reflect on the work we have been doing all year. I’ve been in several short films, stage managed for an independent play during the Atlanta Fringe Festival, acted in an indie feature and connected with peers and even film and TV giants I admire.

We have a special screening coming up for a short film I starred in alongside some amazing talent called ‘Admit One.’ If you’re in ATL and want to attend on Dec. 6, here’s the link. Support indie filmmaking.

While this work is still in motion and I know God is guiding me to the places and spaces I need to be, I am always seeking paid opportunities to perform, direct (music videos, commercials, films and beyond), write and procure multi-figure deals and brand partnerships. The only way to see to it is to believe it and say it aloud. So, I’ll shout it: HIRE ME.

SANCTUARY IS HOME

sanctuary is a sacred, safe space we call home. This community has been so nurturing and nourishing to my soul. My spirit has been lifted by being a service to myself and others in the process. Last weekend, we had our last retreat of the year, GRADUATION: Unplugged. It was three beautiful days of tending to ourselves and graduating from and towards who we are meant to be.

I personally graduated from “lack” and towards ABUNDANCE forever. This idea that lack is only related to resources was an ideology I had to let go of, because the truth is: I believed there was lack in other areas of my life.

Thanks to some prompting, guidance, and extra collective care I’ve been able to literally burn this mindset at the fire. As we sat around the fire, honoring and speaking our visions aloud, there were literal fireworks speaking back to us. As if God said, “Yes my child. The world has always been yours. You can have it all because that’s your destiny and it was always meant to be.”

It was always meant for me. And so it is.

Subscribe now

✨ Thanks for reading. I love y’all and I’m proud of this growing community. Let me know in the comments: what have you graduated from and what are you graduating towards? ✨

sounds by me titled ‘prayer 13’ recorded on Nov. 19, 2025 | Film photo by Kristen White | Photos taken by HYROX Atlanta | US-ie by my sister Toya | BTS from ‘Admit One’ | Graduation Retreat photos captured by me

As you all know, I’ve been on this The Artist’s Way x One Creator Lab journey and it’s forcing me to look deep inside myself. The things that have emerged have been both beautiful and ugly. Calm yet chaotic. It’s a lot, and I’m grateful to share a small piece of what has erupted amidst the disruption.

Imagine looking down at a microscopic view into my life and then gazing up, at the precipice of what’s being birthed.

Here’s an excerpt from my rising pages (an exercise practiced with The Artist’s Way):

September 12, 2025 | 11:56AM

I’ve been thinking a lot about world building and sharing through who I am naturally. Especially as I continue to introduce the OPNSEA 🌊

What does that look like? Who is that? Who are active participants/engagers in this wavy nation? The deep blue, you see.

“I AM CHELSEA from the OPNSEA 🌊 here to usher in a community of thought leaders, free thinkers, flowing essence of adaptability and authenticity that swims to the beat of their own drum, their own wave, in our oceans – to an ocean that is DEEP, that is VAST, that is DIVERSE, that is RESILIENT, that is NURTURING, that is HEALING, that is MAGICAL, that is MYSTICAL, that BLOWS YOUR MIND with its expansiveness and space to carry and keep our stories and to share when it is first discovered. Welcome to the OPNSEA. Dive in and stay awhile.”

Subscribe now

It looks like….

oceans, fish, sirens, seashells, blue(s), orange(s), green(s), sand, luxury, pearls, flowy, flowing, dynamic, royalty, mystical, magical, full of life, vibrant, sheer/luxe feel, soft filters, cinematic.

This wavy world communicates like…

imagine water sounds, sea creature frequencies, softy and gently [and also] courageously and firmly. sounds of driving down the PCH to the waves crashing against the shore. Sounds like prayers… open and honest conversations, discussions, arguments, laughter, BUBBLES, splashing sounds….

It feels like…

healing, calming, restorative, joyful, honest, roaring, inspiring…

From under the sea,
OPN5EA 🌊

LIFE UPDATES:

THAT’S A WRAP ON CHELSEA 🎬

Within the past month, I starred in two music-related films. One titled ‘Playlist’ and the other titled ‘Admit One.’ I’m extremely proud of this work and excited to see the final cut for both.

Also celebrated my role in this cinematic thriller film titled ‘Unplugged’ last month. There was a huge entertainment networking event that took place during SpelHouse homecoming where it doubled as a wrap party and trailer premiere.

So much goodness has transpired amidst all that’s taken place this year. I can only thank God that I’m living, breathing and walking authentically in my gifts.

With that being said, I’m excited for more work in film, TV, digital content and music. Feel free to reach me for performance, directing, writing or brand partnership opportunities: otwflix@gmail.com

Share

CLOSED ON THE CRIB 🏡

Wow. Closing on my first property in my hometown still feels surreal. Yet and still, we did it and we are here. This is something I have wanted for myself since moving to LA 5 years ago. Constantly seeing my money being given to someone else each month as they upgraded their investments felt silly to me.

This was a strategic move for me and US ( US = me + our community) to put a monopoly piece on the board. Ultimately, this is the first of many BIG girl purchases. I’m talking more homes, commercial properties, land and assets for us all. It’s bigger than this, but it’s definitely a start. For that, I am sooo grateful.

Happy to go into more details about this purchase later. Comment with any questions or thoughts you might have on the home buying process til then.

A HEALTHY, HOLISTIC, HOMECOMING 💙❤️

This Homecoming looked so different for me. Class of 2015 celebrated 10 years. My 10th year out and my niece’s first year in. So wild to see and so much has changed. I gave up alcohol so your girl was legitimately thriving off my own energy and surviving the cold from the warmth that is homecoming. There was something that felt different than past years. I started my Friday with a run and an açai bowl 😂 Like what? I was prepping for Hyrox, which I’ll share more about later.

Showing up purely as myself reminded me a lot of freshman year Chelsea. A bright soul with a multicolored fro, thrifted garments and a beef it up in the arsenal, just so eager to take that university by storm. 10 years later, I still have that same passion and hunger to be present. To be the best human being, creator, lover, friend, daughter, sister, and so on. Still a student at this thing called life, and HU is where she remembered she could do anything with excellence. Thank you so much, Howard.

I had such a blast! Enjoy the recap on my IG for more.

Subscribe now

✨ Thanks for reading. I love y’all and I’m proud of this growing community. Let me know in the comments: what world you’re building in your own universe?

Sounds from the Derek Fordjour Nightsong Exhibit at David Kordansky Gallery in Los Angeles, CA | Playlist BTS photo by @lennoxave in Atlanta, GA | Homecoming photo by @sydvisuals in Washington, DC

Someone named this month Shiftember and I couldn’t relate more. With remnants of an eclipse hanging heavy in the skies, I (a Pisces) felt every ripple. Shiftember forced me to cut bad habits, let go of old programs, and reframe my paradigm to match who and where I am today.

That shift brought me to this truth: seeking paradise from within.

Subscribe now

Running vs. Rooting

I used to run when things got uneasy. I would retreat into my safe space or book the next flight smokin.’ Not a bad thing, but not always an option. Sometimes you can’t escape. You have to face what you’ve been running from, or those challenges trail closely behind you.

So I started having deeper conversations. First with myself, then with my community. Recently, I had a brief IG convo with an old classmate about this very concept. He asked me to break it down, so here’s my take:

We run to external validation or external satisfaction when searching for paradise. But no matter where you go — Bali, Mexico, anywhere — if you don’t have peace within, you’ll never feel at home. Serenity has to exist inside you first.

What Seeking Paradise Looks Like

Finding that inner paradise might look like:

• meditation

• sitting with yourself

• tending to your body

• watching what you consume

For me, it also looks like quieting the outside noise. Coming from a Southern Black family, when I slimmed down, folks worried: “Are you okay? Are you healthy?” Truth is, I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. I had to drown out those voices, trust the call to detox, and embrace the shift.

I’ve learned to redefine fun, to redefine paradise. Sometimes that means falling in love with the mundane — the routine, the discipline, the not-so-glamorous repetition that builds strength.

Doing the Hard Thing First

I work out five times a week. People always ask, “How do you do it?” The truth: I just wake up and do it. Same clothes, same mornings, same process. It’s not glamorous, but it’s powerful.

Discipline spills into every area of life — finances, social energy, boundaries. It would’ve been easy to move home and fall back into old patterns. But I don’t want easy. I want growth.

When you commit to doing the hard thing first, the rest falls into rhythm. Like kids with chores and routines, structure creates space for spontaneity. That’s when paradise sneaks in — the unexpected, unplanned beauty.

“You’ve entered a new era. ‘Tis all,” me to me.

Real Ways to Seek Paradise From Within

• Meditate

• Create a safe, cozy, magical space right where you are

• Discover new experiences in your hometown

• Listen to your body

• Be consistent in your routines

• Pivot when your gut tells you to

From under the sea,
OPN5EA 🌊

UPDATES

Across Seas: From Maui With Love | Ep. 2

We had to re-release Episode 2 of your new favorite travel vlog, ‘ACROSS SEAS’ due to some copyright tings. As you can imagine, I can’t move over those old views and comments so please go like, comment, subscribe and all the things. Plus, I knew this one would be a hit because yall always wanna know who I’m loving. lol So enjoy and run it up!

I’m still enjoying how this digital content series is expanding in ways that I didn’t think of before. I’m combining my love for travel, self-expression and mixed media. It’s beautiful and necessary. Next episode coming soon!

One Creator Lab x The Artist’s Way

I recently started sharing content from my journey with this new program I’m enrolled in, One Creator Lab, while reading The Artist’s Way. From artist dates to insight around building a brand online, I’m hoping to share these downloads as they come because they are very vivid.

With the book, I’m tasked with writing three pages daily for my rising (morning) pages, which is causing me to dream a lot more and actually write it all down. Not that I really had an issue writing before, but it has unlocked new ideas that I may not have come to if it weren’t for this experience.

I’m also in class twice a week Tuesday and Thursday evenings. We are working on a new brief with new partners every two weeks and literally moving at the speed of culture, because the program is designed around short form content and partnered with TikTok. It’s intense but I pray all this reshapes my creative process in a way that makes me more consistent.

Anywho, be sure you’re following me on socials so you can keep up with the journey.

Bingo!

Remember that 2025 Bingo card we created at my mom’s birthday? I’m so close to BINGO, and it’s only September! One major goal in motion: creating a custom Durty Chai blend.

I need your help: If you know a wholesaler or herbal farm in or connected to Southern India (especially Kerala) that could support blend + concentrate development, please connect me. Trusting the universe (and this community) to align the right path.

Share

✨ Thanks for reading. I love y’all and I’m proud of this growing community. Let me know in the comments: How are you seeking paradise from within right now?

Sounds from the rain at sanctuary 001 in Stone Mtn, GA.