What could a slave possibly be thankful for?

Chains that have become second skin and scars of beatings that have become tattoos?

Humanity that has been stripped away for reasons he/she knows nothing about?

Pain, starvation, illnesses, loss or unpaid labour?

A life that is better off non-existent?

Or perhaps, an owner who treats an animal better than him/her?

It is utterly insensitive to downplay our ancestors' endurance that way.

Insulting them for not gratifying an entity that chose to turn a blind eye to their sufferings?

Isn't that hypocritical?

If you were in their shoes, will these lyrics still fall out of your mouth?

Or will you gratify an entity that chose to ignore your existence?

The next time you listen to these lyrics, SIT, THINK, REFLECT, REMEMBER AND RESPECT OUR ANCESTORS!.

Bérú bá monúrò ní ádúpé in Yoruba means if only a slave could think, he'll be grateful.

This piece was prompted by the song Bérú bá monúrò by Yinka Ayefele.

Anywayssssssss,

Ad proximum darlingssss🥹💕

I think after having conversations with a good number of the male gender I can say ‎overtime, the average male has severely objectified the female body so much that he cannot have a simple interaction without making a comparison of the body with the most random object.

‎You see recently, I was having a conversation with a male figure I rated a bit highly and safe to say I wasn't disappointed but repulsed as always and quite suddenly, the conversation took a very disgusting turn when he had compared my coochie to meat, he said and I quote 'I wonder how meaty you'll be down there' and I was repulsed and disgusted immediately not just by the comparison but by the very obvious glaring fact that this would be umpteenth time he's doing that and some others might have found it hot and most likely saw nothing wrong with it which gives him the confidence to subject the female body to such objectification and expect to get away with it as always.

‎The average male cannot simply fathom that objectification of the female body is wrong because he has most likely not looked at a female as a fellow human but rather an  object or animal or property to be owned.This psychological effect has been ingrained so much that it has become the norm.

Also, the average man knows not that the word shame exists and hence has no semblance of it which makes him say redundant things and expect to get away with it as always because it is the norm.

‎In the same conversation I held with this human, he said again and I quote 'do u cream or squirt during sex?'

At this point, the lack of basic knowledge is quite mind-blowing (inserts a face palm) because how can one be so 'i don't even know what to say '.

‎Same way another creature that I was 'dating' randomly said out of the blues 'shebi na me take your virginity?' knowing fully well that he was my first time.🙂

‎Holding back or thinking twice is non-existent in their world because of course they are male and the superior so everything should go their way.🙂

‎Lastly, they lack the ability to read the room and know when to pack up their bags and leave the room when it comes to the female body. Evident discomfort? Not enough. Body language? Can't stop them. Mean and rude responses? Spurs them on the more. Commitment? What's that?.

‎At this point, it is safe to say the average male is a repulsive one.

Wo, ad proximum my darlingggg.🥹❤️

When I joined this app, it felt quite refreshing to be here but over time things have gone really downhill on here but many people have already discussed about that enough so you might be wondering why my title is so dramatic, stay with me.😔

There's someone I know(I gotta give y'all a backstory so you'll understand the gist well) that is not well to do in their thinking faculty kinda and they are quite money driven. Now let me digress a little bit; when I mean money driven, I mean the kind that believes that money is all there is to life and nothing else(I hope you get it).😔

Oya let's get back on track: This morning I shared a piece about how to eat coochie real good from here to my WhatsApp on my status and he happened to see it and started asking me about the Substack account I opened for him when I was still blinded by attraction and I said I had deleted it and he went on to ask if I could help him with an account for him and I got defensive immediately because he's not the type of person I want to see on here and I wrote a piece about him too (it wasn't a nice piece).🥲

He then came back this evening and started asking really sus questions: he started by asking if you could identify people by their profile pictures and I said no, it doesn't work that way and asked how it worked, I told him it was similar to X because that's the only comparison I could give to help him get it.🥲

And then he asked this:

The moment he asked this question, all the gears in my head started turning because the number of subscribers felt very much like he thought this was a branch of X and he was looking to farm engagements but the reason, I didn't know yet until he dropped the bombshell.

When he said target audience, I ultimately knew there was an ulterior motive and the reason why I answered with vibes was because based on my experience on this app, notes and writings don't go “viral” in the regular way ( I wish I knew how to explain better) and that was what prompted my next question and when he answered, my brain clocked it immediately that he was looking for a way to use the app to make money even though I don't know how exactly he wants to go about it. The thought process was laughable tho because I can bet he thought: make posts, farm engagements and subscribers, get people to text me, pitch to them and milk them.

Anyways, the moment I saw that, I got really really defensive because I love this app too much and I don't want to see it go down that lane so I subtly tried to sabotage his downloading the app for his selfish purposes.😔

But then, who knows how many of them are already here doing the same or similar.🥲

That's all I have to say sha, I hope I made sense in all I just wrote because I poured this out of the scattered thoughts in my head.😔

Also, if the title felt like click bait to you, I deeply apologize.

On this note,

Ad proximum.✨💕

The kind that totally ruins your soul,

The kind that is fatal to the mind,

The kind that should not exist at all.

The kind where we sneak around,

Where we do dark, twisted and steamy things behind close doors,

The kind where anyone knowing puts us at great risk,

But we are still drawn to each other like moth to flame.

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii my loveeeeee,

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT.🥲

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii my loveeeeee,

In all you do, please eat before going to school😔. Let me tell you how my day went today😔:

I woke up by 5am and took my bath, dressed well as the diligent student that I am then drank a cup of coffee and told myself I was ready to go. I left my hostel by 7:23am so I can catch a ride with my classmate that called a Keke man to come pick her because of these transportation issues(story for another day).

This man took us to my faculty oo only to tell us that he'll collect 10 tickets (one thousand naira) from us for picking us up next time for something that should only be one ticket (100 naira), omoooo sir na thief you be oo.😑

Anywayssss, I sha entered my faculty, took my seat, compiled the names of people that have paid their class dues in my group because I'm the group rep😔 and then the first class started, the class went very well, I understood. After the first class, gbaam people started coming to ask me for their lab notes (notes that we use in writing our laboratory practical report) since last semester😑, that was when I knew that today was about to be a longgggg day. I sha went to pick it up and give it to them even though not all of them came to collect it at that time🤦🏾‍♀️. After that, na so my class rep dump our test scripts in my hand that I should share it for my group members, againnnnnnn?😭.

As if that was not enough, she still now said we should go and tell the lab instructor that people that have not paid their dues should not enter the lab, shey I wan block the road ni with my small body?🤦🏾‍♀️😔.

I sha had my third class for the day since the second one didn't hold and I was understanding ooo until it started sounding like the man was speaking Portuguese (sighs severely in olodo😪). The man did not now leave when his time was up ooo, he spent another good thirty minutes trying to use chemistry to project his homophobia😑 because tell me why this man was talking about factors that are required before reactions can occur and he proceeds to say “that's why a man should not marry a man because it will cause disaster and that's why there's disaster in the world today. The natural order is a man and a woman that's why a woman marrying a woman is madness” Daddy just teash (teach) us the goddamn chemistry nau😑.

He sha finally left around 11:37 or so.

Stay with me oooo, this is just the first half of my day😭

I went to my faculty foyer to sit, rest and gist with my study group members while sharing scripts for those who came to collect then my best friend came to meet me and we ventured into the hot flaming sun to see my other best friend’s mum only for us to get to her office and she said she's in her former office(mummy nau, in this hot sun?😭).

We sha went there , saw and greeted her then I saw three of my group members , they now told me that ehn they don't have toads for today's lab oo ni 1 o’clock that the lab is in 1 hour?????🤦🏾‍♀️. I didn't find toad for them eventually.

Nowwwwww, 1:47 pm, I made my way to the lab, luckily the instructor didn't talk about my piercing shaa, they sha showed us what we'll be doing oo and used a sample toad to show us how to pith a toad and what we were going to do for that experiment (mind you this is my first time working on a toad without chloroform). After explaining, he asked me and my assistant to go get a polythene bag for disposing the toads (sir wdym it's my responsibility to dispose all 38 toads???) 😭😭

Mind you, I still never chop ooo😭, I sha walked around again to get a polythene bag then it was time to start the real deal, hmmmmmmmm😔, I wore gloves, brought out the toad, and began to pith it, I was twisting and turning the inside of this toad’s skull and the woman was still telling me it is not unconscious yet oo with blood on my gloves😭😭😭😭 (ahh mummy?🥲). It was raining, the fans in the lab were on but I was sweating profusely ehn😭, my whole body was shaking as I was doing it😭. After I successfully passed that stage, it was time to cut open the toad and locate the heart, that's how I cut it oo only to realize that my toad’s heart was not beating again, as how nauuuu? (egbon wake up oo please)😭, it didn't later wake up sha😔. I sha told the woman and she said I should not worry, I sha use another person's toad to carry out the rest of the experiment then we had to clean up and dispose the toads.

At this point, I was literally about to faint and my leg was hurting because of the loafers I wore😭😭, I now waited behind to give some people their scripts and packed my bag and went back to my hostel ASAP😔.

Anyways that's where it ended, someone has bought cold coke for me so I'm fine now.😌

Anywayssssssss,

Ad proximum my darlinggggg💕.

My soul screamed,

For showers, or even drizzles,

To wash away the heaviness that wanted to bury me,

But it never answered or came.

She didn't have to ask,

She didn't even have to whisper,

It poured in torrents,

Washing away her pain,

Like a mother comforting her daughter.

Does Mother Nature have favorites too?

Anywayssssssss,

Ad proximum darlings.💕

Remember the note I wrote about using money to defend lack of education, yesss that onee.

Here's what prompted it:

Quick Backstory: There's this guy that I liked last year/this year but we fell out(Story for another day). Now during the time that we were actively talking, he mentioned it in passing that he likes Peller but foolish me didn't think about it then.😭😭

Anyways, fast forward to recently when I saw a flyer trending that the office of the DOS of the Student Union was inviting Peller to OAU with a Ticket policy!!!

(Btw, I stole this image😞)

You say wetin?

And then I reshared the flyer and captioned it “Ticket policy for someone and and an event that defines lack of intellect?”

Lo and behold y'all, the guy entered my DM replying to the status saying something about “what if the DOS just put the ticket policy there to make the event have relevance and the next thing I'll say is that the boy lacks intellect”.

He now added to it by saying and I quote “ The boy is doing his state tour and he is coming to Ife and he'll grace OAU, simple.” Every form of likeness or liking I had for him disappeared in that instant because wdym graceeeee and Peller in the same sentence coming from you that is supposed to be educated?!😭, but I replied saying if he was that important, there won't be a need for ticket policy to add relevance and saying “grace” is just funny.

I know you must be thinking how does this relate but stay with me now.

Todayyyyy, Peller came to OAU, like he actually came and people were legit running after him😭. Someone even wrote Peller on his head.😑

Now, the annoying part is they took him to the office of the Dean of the Faculty of Arts and apparently he said some insulting bullshit there and they were all laughing, lecturers included🤦🏾‍♀️.

So I reposted a tweet about the whole ordeal and the guy went on his status to say: He's laughing at the people that are criticizing Peller because they don't even have money on their own to fend for themselves unless their parents give them and get they are criticizing a billionaire and that people think he's a disgrace because he as a Pharmacy student went to see Peller and even “collected chop knuckle” but that those he has more money than and Peller is way richer than have the audacity to criticize him and then ends it with “Build yourself dear”.

He didn't stop there oo, he entered my DM and tried to get a rise out of me but nahhhhh, I won't indulge in such.

The lecturers still gifted Peller😔

Anyways, after all these ranting, it just dawned on me that being in school or even being at the top of the academic ladder doesn't make you educated, it only makes you literate and that instead of finding the meaning and purpose in that particular event, they chose to defend it with the only defence they always know how to use: Money!

It's not always about money guys.😔

Anywaysssss,

Ad proximum darlings💕.

Growing up as a teenager that was a late bloomer and didn't meet the “standards” especially with my exceptionally prominent big lips was a lottttt.

I develop low self-esteem because I was in a toxic environment where I wasn't accepted because I didn't fit the “standards”.

Even my parents would always insult me for having big lips and tell me to suck it in…yessss, they did that (and they still do).

It affected me sooooo much that I was very conscious of myself and anything that anyone said to me.

I despised looking in the mirror because I didn't want to see what others saw in me.😔

It wasn't until 2 years ago that I started to slowly gain confidence in myself and my looks.

I didn't realize how “idgaf” I had become until todayyyy when I found out my classmates held an anonymous session and my name came uppppppp.

When I saw this, I laughed sooo hardddd not at the chewing gum but the amount of disgusting energy channeled into the message.😌😂

I had zero idea that looking good for myself was seriously grating on people's nerves.

Then the second oneeeeeeeeee,

Girllllllllllllll, I'm just tryna look good for me and me only mehnnnnnnn😭😂

I could feel the heavy waves of “Pick me mentality” rolling off whoever wrote the message.

Usually, the old me would have immediately spiraled down that black hole that I had just crawled out of and start to feel downcast.

Butttttttt, this me took it upon herself to put it up on her status to tell her classmates to “spread the word, we go harder next year” and “if I haven't been noticed yet, I've gotta try harder”.

Because haters will hate, potatoes will potate butttttt I'll keep working towards being a gorgeous and educated queen.😌✨

Anywayssssssss,

Ad proximum, darling✨💕

‎When my last breakup happened,I didn't shed a single tear.

‎I just ended things with my boyfriend and since 18:00, I've been shedding tears at intervals,hot tears at that. (this is 23:23 btw)

‎

‎I had always thought it'll never be me until it ended up being me.

‎Apologies to anyone I ever ridiculed in my thoughts for crying because of a man because now I understand.

‎

‎My first actual breakup, I was already emotionally detached but this one,

‎I wasn't ready, not even in the slightest

‎I'm not shedding tears because of him, I'm shedding tears because of the beautiful things we had and the beautiful memories we shared.

I wrote this about a month ago tho.

Anyways,

Ad Proximum darling✨

Ever since I read ‘Tender is the Flesh’ by Agustina Bazterrica, I became quite sensitive to meat and animals.

Recently, I saw a clip of a pig jump out of moving truck and unaliving itself in the process.

What I saw in that clip wasn’t a comic relief like it was portrayed to be, I saw a soul and a mind trying to escape torture and bondage.

Tonight, my mum killed two cocks amongst the ones she rears, and one of them shat itself while it was dying and when I was washing the meat, realization hit me the hardest:

These animals have emotions, the pig felt tired, and the cocks felt fear; unadulterated fear.

I imagined how the cocks must have felt when their wings were bound and the knife started to slice through their throats, the amount of physical and emotional pain they must have felt before taking their last breaths.

I realized that the cocks must have had plans for the next day (probably court hens they’ve been eying) and just like that, they don’t get to execute them.

It hurts more that the one who fed them from day one ended up taking their lives, the betrayal alongside the fear must have felt soul crushing.

My chest felt soo heavy while I was writing this….

Anyways, ad proximum darling.