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One summer, sometime in my early teens, my sister and I got to spend a few weeks with our grandparents. Both sets lived on houses with big lots, and both had gardens. One day my grandma handed me and my cousin a bag, at least that is how I remember it, and told us to go pick whatever was ripe in the garden.

Now, I should probably back up and explain that growing up we did all of our shopping at the Commissary (the Navy’s version of a grocery store). If they had a fresh food section, I don’t remember ever seeing it. As far as I knew peas, beans, corn, and tomatoes came in cans. We rarely ate out, and if we did, McDonalds was our first choice. So, if it is ripe meant nothing to me outside of strawberries. But, two teenage girls, on summer break, enjoying a sunny day, we were off, never once thinking we needed any additional information for our task.

We stopped at the first plant we found, the tomatoes. We both felt confident that red was a good sign, after all ketchup was red. I know we never tested the firmness, so who knows if they were actually ripe… Next up was cucumbers. They all the looked the same to us, so bigger = better! My cousin, so much more knowledgeable than I was, showed me how to pull up carrots and radishes. Turns out it is a game of luck, one carrot is perfect, the next is half the size, so no skill needed there. There were also strawberries, and a chance to demonstrate that I knew something about gardening. Finally, we found melons of some kind. I remember them being round and tan, so probably something like a cantaloupe.

As we found each of the items into the bag they went. Tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, radishes, strawberries, and melons. We were so proud! Into the house we went, with the now heavy bag, handing it to Grandma, and eagerly waiting to see what she was going to do with everything.

The melon was fine, but the strawberries underneath had a good head start toward being mashed for shortcake. I still remember Grandma’s “Uggg” as she pulled out one particularly mushed berry. Carrots, radishes and cucumbers came out of the bag dripping red, so went directly to the sink to wash off the smushed berries and, you probably already guessed the state of the tomatoes…

The tomatoes had indeed been very ripe and were now a puddle of tomato skins and juice. My Grandma, bless her smooth temper, merely looked at us as she pulled the pulpy mess out of the bag and calmly said “the tomatoes always go on top”. A lesson I still fondly remember every time I hear Scott and the team going through what order to put things into the CSA baskets.

So, as you dig into your boxes each week and see the lettuce peaking out, rest assured that we are being thoughtful about how we

pack the baskets with the knowledge that the tomatoes must be protected.

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Scott and I took an hour away from the farm today, and went on a picnic. It wasn’t anything fancy. Just a stolen moment eating Safeway Sushi and Cheese Nips by the little waterfall on Gnat Creek, but it was precious as we haven’t done anything like that in years. We have been so busy living, farming, tending to all the growing things that has been easy to forget to LIVE.

But, the past few years have, unfortunately, held to many reminders that we don’t know how much time any of us has. I lost a fellow student from my nurse practitioner training this week. She was my age and went for a bike ride. She didn’t return home. Three months ago, a colleague went for a bike ride and came home paralyzed. And a two years ago, one of my very best friends was murdered while out taking his dog for a walk. All young, healthy people doing what they love and gone way to soon, or their live’s changed dramatically.

I know GOD has a bigger plan than we can comprehend and that life here is just the beginning, but I also know that HE expects us to be thankful for all we have. So, in the midst of the 80+ hour weeks, the endless lists of chores, and the ever-growing weeds, how do you stop to take time and enjoy what you have? It is a question I have and still continue to struggle with almost daily.

And it is not a new question. The author of the 1910 Journal we were given when we moved to the area talks about stolen moments on Sunday. This entry from January 14, 1912, is particularly fun as they also went to see the Falls, perhaps even the same one we visited today.

Imagine, back in 1912, they had to grow most everything they ate. Doing laundry took all day. Cooking meals was a huge undertaking on a cook stove, with no pre-prepped offerings available. Yet, they always took Sunday off as much as possible.

So, today, we aimed for an hour. Not great, but progress.

I hope you all are finding moments to enjoy what is precious in your life, even just a second to take a deep breath, look around, and count any blessings that have come your way.

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This past year and half have been filled with so many life changing decisions, and we just added one more to the list.

The Farm Stand is up and running, but we still have so many dreams for the rest of the land. Pick-your-own berries and apples, cut your own Christmas trees, more room to grow vegetables, a barn for a permanent Farm Stand, gardens to wander, space for livestock…

As we started to plan what we would like to do next we made the hard decision that I needed to go back to working off the farm to help finance the next steps. I resumed my work as a healthcare consultant the end of June and have been off traveling during the week ever since.

I am so fortunate, I love what I do in my non-farm job, but I do so miss seeing many of you each week. I have enjoyed the quick hugs, updates and news during all the visits. It is fun coming home each week and seeing all the changes. Things on the farm change daily, but it is hard to see when you are in the midst of it. Some weeks Scott and Andrew seem so discouraged by the weather, or how things are growing, but to my eyes it looks like things are getting bigger and looking beautiful.

Isn’t it amazing how our perspectives can change due to a little, or big adjustment. I still see all that needs done around the farm, but now that I am not here all the time, I also see all that has gotten done. I also find it easier to appreciate all the beauty when I am looking at it from a distance rather than literally in the weeds.

As you head into the heart of summer, I hope your perspective allows you to see beyond the “weeds” and enjoy the beauty of this beautiful place we live in and the bounty the land produces for us to enjoy each year.

Missing you all and hoping our paths cross on the weekends,

Still Farmer Bonnie, just part time now

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The woman who lived on our new farm in 1910 wrote a journal. She made a short notation every day giving us a wonderful glimpse of what life was like on the farm back then. One of the things that struck me as we read her descriptions of the growing crops, the number of eggs the chickens laid, the weather, and what they had for meals was how dependent they were on the weather and their neighbors.

If you follow the farm on any of our social media accounts, you have probably seen pictures of the rain we had this winter. It came in downpours sporadically throughout the winter. A couple of times the entire Brownsmead farm was 2 to 3 feet underwater. Our “lake” filled with ducks and geese spending their days floating around enjoying all the new water ways created by the inches of rain that fell.

Spring is often a challenge as all the water makes it near impossible to get into fields to plant as early as we would like. We often do not have our first crops available to harvest until well into June. (Note: the new farm seems to dry out much faster than the other places we are growing things, so we are hoping we will get an earlier start next year.)

Most years the rain stops around May and doesn’t start again until late September or early October. Looking at pictures in December you would never believe we are often at risk for wildfires by late summer. During the dry season our water bill is outrageous. Even with all the water saving practices we put in place (wobblers, drip tape, planting in Brownsmead where the water table is high) we still need a tremendous amount of water to keep all the plants growing well.

So, before they had drip tape, water districts, and automatic timers, how did they farm? How wonderful rainy days must have been. Time to have a quiet day while knowing the crops would continue to grow. But, how hard must it have been to watch the crops wilt, dry and die some years. All that work, and nothing to show for it. And they couldn’t just go buy whatever didn’t grow at the store. It often meant they went without, having to sustain on whatever they did have. It makes me anxious just thinking about it.

As you begin your busy, bustling week, please take a minute to reflect on how fortunate we are that most of us are isolated from many of the hardships of life, but also remember that all of these modern convivences (like irrigation) can come with a steep price if we don’t remember to slow down and enjoy the “rain” once in a while.

Stand in front of an entire wall of something you know NOTHING about and try to find something to buy, then explain to someone else why you picked what you did rather than all the other options.

Be creative. If you know nothing about abstract art, find an art gallery or museum. If you don’t wear makeup, find a Sephora or Ulta. So as not to make this challenge any more painful, you might narrow it down to just the lipstick row. If you are not into cars, maybe an auto parts store. Again, you might want to limit yourself to just the fuse aisle. The goal here is to read, absorb the labels and displays, find a salesperson, phone a friend, and learn something new.

For me it was the plumbing aisle at Home Depot. And forget the whole aisle, I was only looking at the section that held “glue”. Now, when asked to get glue to put together two pieces of electrical conduit (it was gray PVC, which might or might not be important later one), one might wonder why I was in the plumbing aisle. Excellent question. But, did you know, there didn’t seem to be any “glue” in the electrical aisle. One would hope, especially if they are a novice (you know, the nice word for when you have no clue) like me, that the “glue” would be next to the things that need glued together. No such luck. So, after asking a helpful employee off I head to the plumbing row.

And there I stood, looking at row after row of cans of PVC cement, primer, adhesive, all-in-one systems and a variety of other things that were so unfamiliar that they didn’t register. Some of the items came packaged together. Most commonly primer and cement. Some recommended that you use a cleaner first. Many touted that they were purple, but there were also clear versions. Some didn’t mention the color at all.

So, I phoned my favorite friend, my husband. “Well”, he responds, “I think we should get an all-in-one. The electrical guy only had one can, so I think that is what we need.” I also texted the incredibly patient electrician we have been working with to get his advice.

Okay. Back I go to methodically look through the shelves for “all in one” on the labels. Ah Hah, found it. Now, I am supposed to find something in about a quart size. But finding none, I buy 4 of little itty-bitty cans of purple “all in one”.

Back in the car I get a call from the electrician. “Hi! I bought a can of purple all-in-one PVC adhesive. Will that work?” “All-in-one?” he questions. “Yes, it is a primer and a cement”, I try to explain. “Oh, that must be a plumber thing. We just use cement, and it is not purple” he explains. “Just make sure you put the cement on the ends of both pieces of conduit and give it a twist”.

It appears that PVC cement is used differently by different professions. And apparently because conduit doesn’t have to be watertight, you can treat it differently than water pipe, even though it is all made out of the same stuff. I still have no idea why purple appears to be way more popular than clear, but it is a cheery color and I imagine easier to make sure that you covered all the white water pipe, except… that some of the pipe comes in black so maybe there is some other special purple properties.

So, what I learned today is that even if I hadn’t been in the midst of making a knowledge- based error (since I really knew nothing), I would have most likely made a rule-based error as I had only ever seen PVC “glue” used by my son and he used the purple on water pipes. Who knew there were so many rules about what type of glue to use. My recommendation: Home improvement stores need a sign for people like me that says “If you are doing electrical don’t waste your time with cleaner and primer, just get cement. If you are doing plumbing don’t leave the store without primer and cement. That would have at least narrowed down the choices a bit and probably saved me at least half an hour.

Note: I apologize to all the electricians and plumbers out there who are shaking their heads about all the important points I don’t understand and all the nuances that I skipped over that make you so good at what you do. We need you and your expertise. Please be patient with us and thank you for fixing all our mistakes.

More Information on Errors: In case you are wondering. here are the different types of errors that we make:

• Skill based errors: These are errors we make when we are doing something that is so routine that we don’t really think about it anymore. Think pouring a drink, driving a car, or signing your name.

• Rule based errors: These errors occur when we choose to follow the wrong rule. Think going 60 mph rather than 55 mph on the highway, using baking soda rather than baking powder in a recipe, or putting a light bulb with the wrong wattage in a lamp.

• Knowledge based errors: These errors occur when we are making it up as we go along because we don’t really know what we are doing. These occur when we are learning something new and don’t have all the skills or information we need. An examples of this is shifting gears on a moving tractor that cause a terrible grinding noise the first time you drive the tractor.

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On the opposite end is the heat. I love dresses. Since I was a little kid, I have only worn pants when I couldn’t come up with a way to make a dress work. And I have almost always been able to make a dress work, so I don’t even own a pair of jeans or slacks. And you know one of the best things about dresses… they are wonderful on really warm days (and anything above 75 degrees constitutes a REALLY warm day on the Oregon Coast). But much to my dismay this past year, I have learned that dresses and farming don’t go together well. Although, I must admit that I have seen pictures of women from a hundred years ago farming in some truly heavy and long dresses and it seriously increased my respect for them. So, after many scratches from blackberry brambles, near misses climbing over things that caught at my dress and realizing that it is just plain dangerous to try and drive a tractor in a dress, I had to come up with an alternative I could stand and would work well in a variety of weather.

This was more of struggle than it should have been. On cold rainy days I needed to be able to keep warm and dry, on hot days, I needed something cool, and many days I needed both within just a few hours’ time. Layers, layers are a good thing. I also started using my car as a locker. Peak in the back seat and you will find an assortment of gloves, boots and shoes, rain pants, jackets, sweaters, a rimmed wool hat, a stocking cap, a raincoat, cashmere sweatshirts and lots and lots of extra socks. It is crazy all the wardrobe changes I can go through in a single day. But as I became accustomed to the shifting weather and the shifting types of work I have gradually settled into my new work “uniform”.

Most days will find me wearing loose fitting harem or genie pants (as my husband calls them), a loose-fitting shirt, and a cashmere hoody. Now, before you judge too harshly about the cashmere hoody, let me introduce you to the warmest, softest, most comfortable material you will ever wear, and thanks to Macy’s Black Friday you can get them at a very reasonable price. Keeping them clean is impossible, but a home dry cleaning kit or the delicate cycle and air drying will take care of most of the dirt. This ensemble works well as you can throw on a pair of leggings underneath on the cold days, rain pants and raincoat over the top on really wet days, and the pants are cool and breathe well on hot days. I had originally thought I would end up with some cute overalls, well that was until I had to get down through multiple layers every time I needed to use the restroom. I decided I have better things to spend my time on that going through all of that. I tried some “cargo pants” but found them to confining. And while flannel “pj bottoms” are super comfy, they really hold the dirt and water and do look like you haven’t changed out of your pajamas making them okay attire if you are working by yourself, but not for helping customers.

I really don’t like to fuss with my clothes, so those first days were frustrating. But, with my new “uniform” in place I found the days less trying and if I needed something throughout the day, I usually had what I needed in my car.

I know I don’t dress like a traditional farmer. If you picture Car

hartt’s and work boots, my husband fits that image far better than I do. But through all of this, I’ve learned that you have to find what works for you—something that is safe for your work environment and still leaves room for your personality.

So, if you stop by the farm, I will be the one in the colorful, baggy pants, boats or Sketchers, long pigtails or braids, and depending on the time of year wearing a cashmere hoodie or having it tied around my waist. I am comfortable, safe, flexible and no matter how unconventional I dress, a farmer.

First let me say that whoever designs John Deere tractors has a wicked sense of humor. We use four different tractors, all made by the same company and not one of them operates the same way. Now, since you don’t know me, you don’t know what a clutzy, uncoordinated person I am. I can and have tripped over my own feet walking in a straight line on a smooth service. Somewhere between my brain and my limbs there is a glitch, a microsecond where things go haywire and the way I intended to move and the way I actually move don’t match up. So, the less I must intentionally think through movements the better. Hence, while I can drive a manual car, I avoid it as much as possible.

Back to the tractors. My husband Scott knows me well, so thankfully started me out on the easiest model which has 3 gears, the bucket controls, and still so many other options. On the right side of the tractor is a pedal to push to go forward and one right next to it to go backwards. Are you already seeing some red flags? On the left is the break.

At first things were going okay, and then I decided to try and go a little faster and move from A to B speeds. It is a decent sized field and all I was doing was rototilling, so nothing the least bit fancy… But, as the tractor started ahead faster, I did what I always do, I stepped on the furthest left pedal of the two on the right… which in this case was forward, not the break. Then in a bit of a panic, I hit the other petal, which was backward, but then I remembered the rototiller was going and trying to remember how to stop, accidentally steered the tractor right over the newly planted row of tomatoes, pulling up the plastic mulch and running over about 5 tomatoes. Finally stopped, I looked around to survey the damage, which thankfully was minimal, but I was still a mess as I fixed what I could and climbed back on the tractor.

At some point we decided I needed to use the big tractor. Now, if you live in the Midwest, you will laugh at our definition of a big tractor as it would look like a toy compared to the large machinery used on those huge farms. But, for us, it was a big step up when we bought it. To say this thing is complicated, like saying that a car is more complex than a bicycle. Let’s start with the fact that it has not one, but TWO gear shifts. If you want to do the math that is 3 speeds on one and 4 on the other, which comes up to WAY too many combinations. And one of the shifters you can change while you are moving and the other one you cannot. So, already we have a LOT of thinking to do just to move forward.

Then instead of the forward and backward petals being on the right, in this version the brake is in that location. To move forward or back you use a lever up by the steering wheel. And as you remember all of this, if you are using the bucket, you must remember how that lever works as well. Does pushing the lever right tilt the bucket up or down?

Every turn, every shovel full of dirt is like going through mental gymnastics.

If you ever see a really good equipment operator it looks like their machines are an extension of their bodies. Things move in unison, allowing them to pick up loads in one smooth motion, drop things exactly where they want them, and everything is done quickly and efficiently. There really is something to the adage of doing something for 10,000 hours.

Watch me and you will be scratching your head with all the starts and stops.

Drive carefully up to the pile of chips, stop and try 3 different angles on the bucket until you think you are ready, drive forward into the pile, stop, try to lift the bucket to fill it with chips (oh, I forgot to mention the throttle), backup and try again, and again, and then finally, the bucket is full. Next, you backup, and start to turn toward where you want to go, but before you head that direction you need to get the bucket settled into a good space for transit, without losing everything you just managed to get. Now you should always use the lowest gears to scoop things up, but that would be way too slow for moving things, so you have to try and figure out what gear and how to shift to get there.

All this, and I am mentally exhausted before the first load is even completed.

The good news is that practice helps … to a degree. I now actually really enjoy tractor work, with the little tractors. The big one is still a trial for me, but I can use it when necessary. I put on my noise cancelling headphones, listen to the Bible in a Year by Father Mike Schmitz (highly recommended) or a book on Audible (just discovered Jane Austen retellings) or sometimes just some great music and get to work. The movements have become much easier, although still not skillful. But the before and after visions lead to such a feeling of accomplishment.

Interestingly, the hours on the tractor are often a quiet place amid the bustle of the farm. It is good to have those quiet moments, even if they are on a noisy tractor. Where do you find those moments in your busy life?

Wishing you a few moments of peace as you navigate this busy world,

Farmer Bonnie

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I was trying to decide how to start this blog and then realized I needed to start at the beginning, my beginning. Apparently, I was born a bit of a know if all. Not exactly one of those kids who always had the answer or tried to tell everyone what to do. But, from a very early age I was always trying to figure out how to fix things. By the time I had grown up and had a family, a standard response to a long line at the grocery store, or confusion at the airport was “Mom, just let it go, you don’t need to try and figure out how to fix it.” I couldn’t put a name on it until I was into my thirties but still remember the day that I read a book titled “Systems Thinking”. It described how the systems that you designed were responsible for the results that you got. And when you designed it wrong, things fell apart. The book was like a trip through my brain. It was fun to read about what I had just naturally found myself doing for years.

Now, I was super fortunate as I started my career that my very first boss in healthcare saw this trait as an asset, and the third time I went in to ask him if we could do something differently, put me in charge of quality improvement at the very small, critical access hospital where I was a Nurse Practitioner. This move shaped a career that has been beyond amazing, and nothing like I thought it would be when I became a nurse and Nurse Practitioner.

I tell you this story to help you understand how truly amazing this past year has been. I had unwittingly walked into a career that fit like a glove. As my career advanced, I learned a few things, but mostly I learned the professional names for the things I had just naturally been doing all my life. And, I had a lot of fun, while meeting some of the most caring, passionate, and smart people you can imagine. Not only were many of them exceptional healthcare professionals, but they were also visionaries and they were able to see past my sometimes over enthusiastic attempts to change things. As I made mistakes along the way, and trust me there were quite a few, they mentored me to smooth the toes I had often stepped on due to the overwhelming sense of urgency that I feel whenever something isn’t working right.

So, fast forward through an amazing career in healthcare (I will share more about that later) and we come to a year and half ago when we made the decision that I would step away from my dream job as a healthcare consultant and work full time on the farm for a year.

You often hear the phrase, if I had only known then what I know now. Well, I am so glad I didn’t know then what I know now, because I don’t know if I would have been brave enough to make the change that has transformed my life in so many ways. It has, and at times continues to be a rough journey. Every bit of my life has changed this past year. My job, my relationships, my physical abilities, my sleeping and eating habits, and my faith have all transformed in ways I could never have imagined. I have had to learn to think of myself in a completely different way. It has been a humbling, tear provoking, awe inspiring and fascinating journey that I recommend for everyone.

So, I invite you to join me as I reflect on the last 18 months, all the laughable, cry-able, and at times frustrating situations that have occurred as I went from a competent, capable healthcare professional to starting a wild and blessed life in a world where I didn’t know anything.

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