I Thought I Had Learned to Lead. I Was Wrong.

When you shut the door to your classroom, who is in charge?

It must be you.

You are the adult in the room. Your students are looking to you for direction, confidence, consistency, and order.

They need you to lead.

If you read my last article, you know it took me a while to learn that lesson.

I went from a struggling young teacher who sometimes yelled, pleaded, and dreaded certain classes to a teacher whose classroom was peaceful and orderly. Other teachers began asking me for help with their own classroom management problems.

I thought I had learned how to lead.

Then I became an assistant principal.

And I failed again.

A Promotion—and a New Challenge

I began my new role as an assistant principal at Northwest Middle School with a mixture of eagerness and doubt.

The school had grown large enough to need two assistant principals. The other new assistant principal, Ann, was new to the school. Our principal, Sharon, was also in her first year as principal, having served as assistant principal the previous couple of years.

We decided that I would also serve as Dean of Boys and that Ann would serve as Dean of Girls. Much of our responsibility involved student discipline, working with teachers, and coordinating various campus duties.

Ann was new to the school.

I wasn’t.

And that made a difference.

People knew me. They knew about the transformation that had taken place in my classroom. My reputation for classroom discipline had grown, and I sensed high expectations for me.

After all, I had figured out this discipline thing.

Or so I thought.

Then We Asked the Teachers

As our first year progressed, I thought things were going reasonably well.

Not perfectly, of course, but well enough.

Then, in early May, the three of us decided to do something that good leaders should do—but sometimes would rather not do.

We asked the people we were leading how we were doing.

We surveyed the staff.

Their answer was painful.

Not very well.

The teachers were not satisfied with the way campus discipline was being handled.

That was difficult to hear.

Here I was—the teacher who had supposedly learned how to manage discipline, the teacher other teachers had come to for advice—and now I was one of the administrators responsible for discipline across an entire school.

And it wasn’t working.

We had a choice.

We could defend ourselves.

We could explain why the teachers were wrong.

We could blame the students.

We could blame the teachers for not managing their classrooms properly.

Or we could listen.

We decided to listen.

We Needed a Better Way

The three of us agreed that something had to change.

At the end of the school year, we assembled a group of teachers, parents, and students for a day-long meeting. I was asked to chair it.

Our purpose was simple:

How could we create a discipline system that was fair, consistent, understandable, and effective throughout the entire school?

Not just in my classroom.

Not just in the classrooms of our strongest teachers.

Everywhere.

During that meeting, one teacher’s classroom kept coming up.

Ms. Knox had developed a simple system. When students violated certain classroom expectations, they were required to sign a page in a book.

Nothing dramatic.

No yelling.

No arguing.

No lengthy confrontation.

There was simply an expectation, documentation, and a predictable consequence.

And we had all seen something remarkable about her classroom:

It worked.

Students themselves said they appreciated the system. They knew what was expected. They knew what would happen if they chose not to meet those expectations.

And Ms. Knox almost never had to send a student to the office.

That got our attention.

“The Book” Was Born

By the end of our meeting, we had reached a decision.

We would take the principles behind Ms. Knox’s system and develop them into a school-wide discipline system.

Every teacher would be trained in it.

Every teacher would use it.

Students would encounter the same basic expectations throughout the school.

We called the system:

T.I.E.R. — Teachers Involved in Educational Responsibility.

The students eventually gave it another name.

“The Book.”

They knew about The Book.

They talked about The Book.

And, yes, some probably feared The Book.

But more importantly, they understood The Book.

It brought something our school had been missing:

Consistency.

Students no longer had to determine which teacher meant what he said, which teacher would overlook a behavior, which teacher would become angry, or which teacher would immediately send them to the office.

The expectations were known.

The process was known.

The consequences were known.

And the adults were working together.

Something Bigger Began

The system began producing results.

So did the classroom-management principles and training that grew alongside it.

Eventually, my principal asked me to present our work at the Texas Middle School Association convention in Austin.

Think about that for a moment.

Not long before, I had been the beginning teacher who couldn’t control his own classroom.

Then I became an assistant principal—and discovered that I didn’t know nearly as much about school-wide discipline as I thought I did.

Now I was being asked to teach other educators about it.

And the story didn’t end there.

Over the years, versions of the system and the principles behind it were adopted by six school districts, several campuses, and at least a dozen charter-school campuses.

The system continued to develop as I learned.

Today, those principles have evolved into what I call the Calm Classroom Accountability System.

But none of it began with success.

It began with failure.

What Failure Taught Me About Leadership

There is a lesson here that goes far beyond classroom discipline.

My first failure as a teacher forced me to change.

My failure as a beginning administrator forced me to change again.

And I have had to repeat that process many times since.

Leadership doesn’t mean having all the answers.

It doesn’t mean never making mistakes.

And it certainly doesn’t mean that receiving a title suddenly makes you know how to lead.

Leadership requires the humility to recognize when something isn’t working—and the courage to change it.

Some people seem to possess natural leadership abilities.

Many of us do not.

But leadership can be learned.

It can be practiced.

It can be strengthened.

And sometimes our greatest failures become the classroom in which we learn our most important lessons.

An old exhortation has stayed with me through much of my life:

“Always be willing to give up who you are for who you might become.”

For me, there was another dimension to that transformation.

Faith.

I prayed.

I asked for wisdom.

I tried to recognize that the work I was doing was ultimately about more than me.

Two passages of Scripture became especially important to me:

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus.”
—Colossians 3:17

And Colossians 3:23-24, which instructs, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man, ….”

That changed the question.

Instead of asking:

“Am I a good leader?”

I needed to ask:

“Am I willing to become the leader these students and teachers need me to be?”

Teacher, your classroom doesn’t need a perfect leader.

Your students need a calm, clear, consistent, competent, and courageous one.

And if you aren’t that leader yet?

Neither was I.

Leadership can be learned.

I am living proof.

Whether you are a teacher or an administrator - “You Can Handle Them All!”

Please use the “Like” button if you enjoyed this. It will help me out a lot.

I enjoy training teachers and administrators. Please contact me if I can be of assistance at flyeokum@gmail.com

Teacher, You Are the Leader!

I didn’t think of myself as a leader. After all, the leaders at school were the superintendent and the principal. I was just a teacher.

“I just work here.”

I’m not sure when I began to understand that the children in my classroom needed something more from me. They didn’t need me to just teach them. They needed me to lead them. And slowly, another realization sank in. I could not make my students do anything. I could threaten them. I could yell at them. I could plead with them. I could punish them. But ultimately, I could not control them. What I could do was influence them. And that is leadership.

I Wasn’t Prepared to Lead

Most of you are familiar with some of my story. I was not a good beginning teacher. I wanted to be. I certainly thought I was going to be. I assumed children would be much like I had been growing up. I was preparing to teach seventh- and eighth-graders, and I believed I could be a positive influence on them. I was also a fairly new Christian, and I saw teaching as a ministry.

I entered my first classroom in what Harry Wong describes as the “Fantasy” stage of teaching. I had good intentions. I had enthusiasm. I cared about my students. What I did not have was any real understanding of classroom leadership.

Teacher, when you shut that classroom door, something important happens. You are the only adult in the room. You are, by default, their leader.

Some people may be more naturally inclined toward leadership than others, but leadership can be learned. I know because I had to learn it the hard way. My leadership skills were honed in the crucible of simply trying to survive. Before long, I had moved from Harry Wong’s “Fantasy” stage into his second stage: Survival. And survival is exactly what it felt like. I dreaded some days. I especially dreaded sixth and seventh periods.

They Knew I Wasn’t Leading

Looking back, I am certain my students sensed my lack of confidence. Something else became apparent to me. Many of the students were watching me hoping I would stop the few students who regularly disrupted the class. They wanted to learn. They wanted someone to protect the learning environment. They wanted me to take control—not control of them, but control of the classroom. They wanted a leader.

Instead, I was inconsistent. Sometimes I ignored misbehavior. Sometimes I overreacted. Sometimes I yelled. Sometimes I begged. I still remember one girl looking at me and saying: “Mr. Yeokum, you have mood swings!!!” Ouch. She wasn’t entirely wrong. My attempts to restore order were often rooted in yelling at students or pleading with them to obey.

And you know what? Those tactics sometimes worked. For the moment. Then, a short time later, I had to yell or plead again. That isn’t leadership. That is desperation.

The Person I Could Control

Eventually, I realized I could not continue that way. I was spending an enormous amount of energy trying to control something I could not—my students. Meanwhile, I was failing to control the one person I actually could. Myself.

That realization changed everything. If I wanted my students to be calm, I needed to be calm. If I wanted them to show self-control, I needed to demonstrate self-control. If I wanted them to respect me, I needed to behave in a way worthy of their respect. My students didn’t need a louder teacher. They needed a better leader. They wanted a reason to trust me. They wanted a reason to respect me. And that mattered because I had come to understand something fundamental. Students have difficulty learning from someone they do not respect. I had failed my students. I had failed my school and those who had placed confidence in me. And, most painfully, I believed I had failed God.

Pride Had to Go

I had started out proud. Proud to be a teacher. Proud that someone had hired me to teach. I assumed I was prepared. I assumed the kids would love me. I assumed I would be a successful, happy, brilliant, productive teacher.

Scripture tells us: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
—Proverbs 16:18

I had experienced the fall. So I began asking God for help. I needed what Scripture calls the “wisdom that is from above”—wisdom that is pure, peaceable, gentle, and open to reason. (James 3) I began to understand that I had been operating largely out of my own strength. I needed to change. An adage settled deeply into my thinking:

Always be willing to give up who you are for who you might become.

And Scripture reminded me: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians) I needed the transformation Paul describes in Romans 12:2—a renewing of my mind. And slowly, that transformation began.

I Made a Promise to My Students

I developed a plan. Then I committed myself to following it. I apologized to my students. I told them that I had not handled our classroom as well as I should have. Then I explained what would change. I became clear about expectations. I became clear about consequences. And I made a commitment to myself and to those children:

I would be calm.
I would be clear.
I would be consistent.
I would become competent.
And when necessary, I would be courageous.

Those children deserved that from me. Their parents deserved that from me. My school deserved that from me. And frankly, that was what I was being paid to do.

God gave me the grace to become calmer, clearer, more consistent, more competent, and more courageous. Those five qualities began to change my classroom.

Something Remarkable Happened

The transformation came more quickly than I expected. My classroom became a more peaceful and respectful place to learn. And then something else happened. Other teachers noticed. Before long, teachers began talking to me about what had changed. And I discovered that I wasn’t the only one struggling. Other teachers were dealing with many of the same problems. Poor classroom leadership, inadequate training, inconsistency, frustration with students, emotional reactions to misbehavior, and no dependable plan for what to do when students disrupted learning.

They began asking questions. They wanted to know what I was doing differently. Imagine that. The teacher who had been struggling to survive was now being asked by other teachers how to manage their classrooms. I hadn’t become perfect. Far from it. But I had learned something that would shape the rest of my career. Classroom discipline is not primarily about controlling children. It is about leading them. And leadership begins with leading yourself.

Then Came Another Surprise

Two years later, my principal told me the school would need another assistant principal the following year. Then he asked me a question I certainly wasn’t expecting. Would I be interested? Me? The fellow who had once been a terrible rookie teacher? Apparently so.

The next year, I became an assistant principal. And guess what? I wasn’t very good at that either. My rookie year as an assistant principal brought an entirely new collection of mistakes, struggles, and lessons about leadership. But by then, I had learned one very important thing. You don’t have to begin as a great leader. You have to be willing to become one. That story is coming soon.

The Boy Scouts had that right

Preparation doesn’t happen by accident. It requires forethought, time, and attention to detail. In just a few days, students will walk through your classroom door. The question isn’t whether they’ll be ready.

The question is whether you will be.

Like most teachers, I spent hours decorating bulletin boards, arranging desks, and organizing supplies. Those things matter. A clean, attractive, well-organized classroom creates an excellent first impression.

But there is something far more important than how your classroom looks.

My first year of teaching began as a disaster. My room looked great. My first few weeks of lesson plans were done.

But I was not prepared for what was happening in the minds of my students.

Whether they say it aloud or not, nearly every student walks into a new classroom wondering:

• Will I like my teacher?

• Will my teacher like me?

• Will I enjoy this class?

• Is my teacher really in charge?

• Is this classroom safe from mean students?

Students want to know whether the adult standing in front of the room is capable of leading it. Surprisingly, many students find security in knowing that the teacher is confidently in charge. I was unaware that my students were not walking in ready to get started on an assignment.

The first day establishes expectations that can last the entire year.

So don’t just prepare your classroom.

Prepare yourself.

Stand at your door and greet every student. Smile. Learn names as quickly as possible. Be gracious, approachable, and genuinely glad they are there.

Then, when class begins, begin with purpose.

Have your opening remarks prepared in advance. Don’t “wing it.” (Like I did)

Tell students why you love teaching. Share a few interesting things about yourself. Let them know what excites you about the year ahead. Give them reasons to look forward to coming to class.

Then clearly explain your expectations.

Tell them you want every student to succeed. Explain that everyone deserves a classroom where learning can happen without unnecessary interruptions. Let them know that you will always treat students with dignity and respect—and that you will consistently enforce the classroom expectations that make learning possible.

Be a “no surprises” teacher. Students should always know what is expected and what will happen when expectations are not met.

Confidence is reassuring.

Students quickly recognize the difference.

Follow your introduction with an engaging activity. An icebreaker works well, but don’t let fun replace purpose. Give students a glimpse of the exciting things they will learn this year.

When I taught science, I loved saying something like:

“See those clouds floating overhead? Even a small one probably weighs more than a ton. Some clouds weigh millions of pounds, yet they seem to float lazily and are blown around so easily by even weak winds.”

Immediately, students were intrigued by that little taste of science.

Use assigned seating, especially during the opening days of school. One of the simplest ways to establish an orderly classroom is for the teacher—not the students—to decide where everyone sits. Seats can always change later, but the teacher should make those decisions.

Most importantly, determine now the kind of teacher you will be every single day.

Be:

• Calm.

• Pleasant.

• Approachable.

• Predictable.

Those four qualities will carry you through even the most challenging classes.

Students should never wonder whether they’re getting today’s version of you. Consistency builds trust. Your movements should be predictable, especially when something disruptive happens

Be ready to implement your discipline plan from the very beginning. If a situation requires a consequence, don’t hesitate simply because it is the first or second day. Students are carefully watching to see whether your expectations actually mean something.

Be certain that your rules are posted. On a good-sized poster. In the front of your room. Refer to it often. If a rule is posted, it must be enforced exactly and consistently

Ironically, fair and consistent accountability often increases students’ confidence in their teacher. They discover that your words have substance and that your classroom is a safe, orderly place to learn.

One more suggestion: begin building relationships with parents before problems arise.

Whenever possible, make positive phone calls home during the first week of school. If appropriate, even speak briefly with the student during the call. Those early conversations establish goodwill that can pay tremendous dividends throughout the year. Send a copy of your classroom plan to parents, with an acknowledged receipt attached for them to sign and return.

Don’t wait until the first disciplinary issue to introduce yourself to the parents.

Start building your partnership immediately.

Your classroom functions best when everyone understands their role. Students are there to learn and grow. You are there to lead, teach, encourage, and protect the learning environment.

From the very first day, let your students and their parents see someone who is calm, confident, compassionate, consistent, competent, professional, and thoroughly prepared.

The school year is about to begin.

Start strong.

Your students deserve it.

And remember—

You Can Handle Them All!

Back in 1979, Pink Floyd released one of the most recognizable songs in rock history, “Another Brick in the Wall.” The haunting lyric—

“We don’t need no education. We don’t need no thought control.”

became an anthem of youthful rebellion. It wasn’t really an attack on education itself. As songwriter Roger Waters later explained:

“It’s not meant to be a blanket condemnation of all teachers, but the bad ones can really do people in.”

The song questioned an educational system that discouraged independent thinking and treated students as though they were all the same.

Nearly fifty years later, we face a very different educational crisis.

As another school year approaches, many people are asking a troubling question:

Are we educating our children well enough?

News headlines paint a discouraging picture. Employers report that too many graduates struggle with communication, problem-solving, and basic workplace expectations. Colleges continue to devote significant resources to remedial instruction, and many teachers believe students are entering classrooms less prepared than ever before.

A recent LinkedIn report described many high school graduates as “unprepared, unprofessional, unorganized, and struggling with communication skills.”

Meanwhile, teachers themselves are under tremendous pressure. Stress, burnout, and staffing shortages continue to affect schools across the country.

Adding to the challenge, researchers at ReThinkEd report that classroom behavior problems are increasing in both frequency and severity. Teachers cite rising incidents of bullying, defiance, emotional outbursts, aggression, and chronic non-compliance. More than 70 percent report an increase in disruptive behavior.

These issues matter because learning cannot flourish in disorder.

Our children need classrooms where they feel safe, secure, and focused. That requires teachers who are equipped not only to teach academic content but also to establish clear expectations, maintain order, and build an environment where learning can thrive.

Unfortunately, most teachers receive surprisingly little practical preparation in classroom management before entering the profession.

After more than thirty years working with teachers and school leaders, I’ve become convinced that one problem stands above the rest:

The greatest obstacle isn’t student behavior. It’s that many teachers have never been taught how to lead a classroom effectively.

Many new teachers mistakenly believe that correcting misbehavior will make students dislike them. Ironically, the opposite is usually true.

During the first days and weeks of school, students are constantly evaluating their teacher. Whether consciously or not, they are asking questions like these: (Ref: Smart Classroom Management)

• Does this teacher mean what they say?

• Will they enforce the rules fairly?

• Can they keep the classroom under control?

• Am I safe in this classroom?

When teachers hesitate to address misbehavior for fear of students’ reactions, they often convey uncertainty. Students interpret that uncertainty as an invitation to further test boundaries.

Strong classroom leadership is not about being harsh. It is about being consistent, predictable, and fair. Those qualities create the trust and security that every student needs in order to learn.

In my next post, I’ll explain why every teacher needs a well-designed classroom discipline plan—and why having one may be the single most important step toward creating a peaceful, productive classroom where both teachers and students can succeed.

I am available for professional development. Contact me at flyeokum@gmail.com

Your Words Are Powerful

Growing up, I sometimes heard the rebuke, “Watch your tongue!” when I stepped out of line in a conversation. The Bible speaks often about the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18:21 states, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

In the classroom, words are more than mere sounds. They are the building blocks of relationships, the tools of instruction, and the catalysts of change. Your words can uplift, encourage, and inspire. They can also diminish, discourage, and destroy.

Consider a simple phrase such as, “You can do this! I believe in you!” When spoken sincerely, these words communicate trust and confidence in a student’s ability to overcome challenges. We must choose words that reflect empathy and understanding.

While many teachers are dedicated and supportive, there are documented instances of thoughtless or hurtful remarks that leave lasting negative impacts on a student’s self-esteem and motivation. These remarks often fall into categories such as negative predictions about the future, public shaming, or dismissive sarcasm. Such communication should never be acceptable. Children do not process these experiences with the emotional maturity of adults.

We must remember that words, once spoken, can never be taken back. Our speech must be edifying. Even when we challenge or correct students, our purpose should be to exhort and build up the children entrusted to our care.

We should also bear in mind the 7/38/55 rule of communication when interacting with others. This rule suggests that only 7% of communication consists of the actual words we speak. Thirty-eight percent is conveyed through our tone of voice, and 55% through our body language.

Therefore, we must not only watch what we say but also how we say it. Are we speaking with anger, or are we calm and controlled? What is our body language communicating to those in front of us and around us? Scripture also reminds us to be “swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” There is profound wisdom in that instruction.

One practice that worked for me most of the time was a simple morning self-talk:
“Today, I will remain calm regardless of what happens. Today, I will be pleasant regardless of circumstances. And today, I will be an approachable teacher for the sake of my students’ well-being.” Simple to state. Just not easy to accomplish.

What is said—through words, tone, and body language—cannot be unsaid. Use a growth mindset to make intentional changes.

And -

“Always be willing to give up who you are for who you might become.”

And then the room starts testing me. Not in a dramatic movie way. In the ordinary, grinding way: side conversations that don’t stop, a student who answers back just loud enough for everyone to hear, chairs scraping, pencils tapping, the slow spread of “we don’t really have to listen to him.”

I try to handle it the way I think a good teacher handles it. I redirect. I repeat myself. I move closer to the chatter. I try humor. I try to be extra patient. When that doesn’t work, I try being firm. When that doesn’t work, my voice gets louder.

At some point, I hear myself—yelling.

And the worst part is, I can feel what it does to the room. It doesn’t create respect. It creates noise. It creates a weird kind of power struggle where I’m working harder and harder just to get the bare minimum.

By the end of the day, I’m not thinking about instruction. I’m thinking about survival. I’m pleading—actually pleading—for basic order.

I go home drained and embarrassed. I’m supposed to be the adult in the room, and yet I’m being pulled around by my own emotions.

It doesn’t take long before a thought becomes a plan: I’m going to leave the profession. That’s the pit. Not because I don’t care. Because I care—and I can’t keep doing this.

I try the common fixes. I try to be more intense. Then I try to be more understanding. I try to “win them over.” I try to clamp down. I’m cycling through approaches that aren’t really approaches—they’re moods. Nothing holds. Then comes the rub.

I tell my principal I’m thinking about quitting. I expect a speech about commitment or toughness. Instead, he helps me step back and rethink what’s actually happening.

That conversation follows me home. My wife and I pray about my situation because it feels dire. And in that quiet, a simple conclusion forms—one that stings because it’s true: I need to take control of myself, my emotions, and my actions. The children aren’t the problem I keep making them out to be. My response has to change.

So I searched again, but differently. Not for a magic phrase or a louder consequence. I look for structure—something time-tested that gives me a clear way to lead. I decide to reset the classroom environment.

I stand in front of my students, and I say, plainly, “We’re starting over!” I own my part. I apologize for losing my temper. I tell them what they can expect from me from now on: calm, steady, consistent, and approachable.

Then I make it concrete.

I walk them through my expectations using a simple chart. I don’t rush it. I don’t assume they “should know.” I explain the rules, what it looks like to follow them, and what happens when they choose not to. I clearly review consequences for disobeying the rules—no surprises, no bargaining, no heat-of-the-moment improvising, no arguing.

That’s the breakthrough: I choose a structured approach—Assertive Discipline—while tailoring it slightly to my needs. And I adopt one guiding rule that changes everything: “Use calm to regain calm.”

I hold students accountable with composure. I stop trying to make them do things through emotion. I remind myself I can’t control the students -I can’t make them behave. I can’t make them do anything. But I can control myself.

The results show up in good places.

Personally, I stopped carrying that daily shame of losing my temper. I became composed and confident again. Professionally, the room becomes governable. Expectations are clear. Responses are consistent. Learning has space to happen.

And now, that’s what I’m committed to: helping teachers, administrators, school staff, and parents build orderly classrooms and clear school cultures—so teachers can be the calm, compassionate professionals they were meant to be, administrators can lead with clarity, and schools can graduate young people who are thriving, mature, and prepared for life.

I’m starting a new chapter in my life. I want to use my God-given talents and abilities to help teachers, administrators, and campuses learn how to:

• Prevent misbehavior

• How to handle it when it happens

• Stop teacher burnout

• Restore peace and order to classrooms

• You can learn how to handle them all!

Contact flyeokum@gmail.com for more information and availability.

Below is the link to my book.

The name of my book is:

“Mastering Classroom Discipline”.

Some years ago, a good friend of mine gave me a copy of a book that greatly influenced my thinking. It was written by Parker Palmer and was titled “The Courage to Teach”. I endorse and believe in what he has to say. What we believe has a significant impact on how we think, act, and behave.

Here is a summary of what Parker Palmer presented:

• “Good teaching cannot be reduced to technique; good teaching comes from the identity and integrity of the teacher.”

• “We teach who we are; our teaching is a reflection of our inner lives.”

• “The best teachers are those who show us where to look but don’t tell us what to see.”

• “Teaching is a daily act of courage; it requires us to be vulnerable and open.”

• “In teaching, we must create a space where students can find their own voices.”

• “The heart of teaching is the relationship between teacher and student.”

As a teacher, these are sound principles to live and teach by. It speaks of the idea that teaching is a noble profession that requires virtuosity and integrity.

Aristotle presented some principles about courage worth stating and considering.

• Courage is the ability to confront fear and act rightly.

• It involves both physical bravery and moral strength.

• True courage is guided by wisdom and knowledge.

• It is not merely about facing danger but also about standing up for what is just.

• Plato emphasizes the importance of education in cultivating courage.

• Courage is essential for the well-being of the individual and the state.

As we begin a new semester, consider what you believe about teaching. There are many social media posts indicating that teachers are leaving the profession in record numbers. There are indications that administrators are caving into the idea that children and their every whim are to be coddled.

Let us reject such thinking. Our children need to learn the discipline necessary for success in life after school. They need guidance in self-control. We need to help them grow into maturity and hold them accountable for their actions.

There are far too many times that children are told, “It’s OK! You can’t help yourself.”

Many of the current so-called progressive beliefs in parenting and in education are producing weak humans. We need to help these children by being willing to say “no” to their childish whims. They should be able to trust the adults in their lives to help them grow up strong and with the wisdom to discern the right path for their hearts to follow.

Let’s have the courage to do what is right. May we have the Courage to Teach!

Did you teach your students plans for order and discipline? Or did you just announce them? You decided not to waste time going over rules. “Kids should just know the rules!” you told yourself.

Doing so is called “Assumacide”!

Now, you are experiencing more students not complying with your expectations. Too much time is being lost to interruptions, which keep you from teaching the lesson and stops the learning.

Getting back in control is simple—but it isn’t easy! Now you have to “tighten up.” It is easy to loosen up, but not easy to tighten up. You must be sure to say what you mean AND mean what you say, starting now.

I can tell you from my own personal experience as being the worst teacher ever, anywhere, and going from a zero to a hero in classroom discipline, that your problems are:

Lack of Clarity,

Lack of Consistency, and

Lack of Calmness

Plus, you need the Courage to stand up and take control! Take your place as the ruling monarch of your classroom. Be in charge, stay in charge!

Time to recover!

Specifically, do the following. (This takes humility and grace. Hunility is a requirement for being a good leader.)

Go back. Admit to your students that you regret not being the teacher you needed to be for them. Explain that things are going to be different—starting right now.

Reteach your plan. Your goal is self-control and the prevention of misbehavior.

Consistency is key when it comes to enforcing rules and expectations. Inconsistent enforcement can lead to confusion and undermine your authority. To maintain consistency:

• Follow Through: Always follow through on consequences when rules are broken. If students see that consequences are applied inconsistently, they may be more likely to test boundaries.

• Be Fair and Impartial: Apply rules and consequences fairly to all students, regardless of their background or behavior history. Avoid showing favoritism or being overly harsh with certain students.

• Use Positive Reinforcement: Recognize and reward students who consistently meet expectations. Positive reinforcement can be a powerful motivator for maintaining good behavior. Be careful with rewards. Try making certificates or proclaiming them students of the week, or bringing something homemade - cookies, brownies, etc.

Consider this link to my book as a resource —-.

(Especially pg 35-41 (Effective Classroom Procedures and Building Relationships - using the 5 C’s of effective leadership in your classroom).

In the next posting, I plan for us to explore the importance of building positive relationships with students and how these relationships contribute to effective classroom management.

Until then, remember this:

You Can Handle Them All - be the cool and confident professional you were hired to be.!

The beginning of each school year is an opportunity for everyone to start fresh. Yet we must also recognize some essential elements of this annual rite of passage. One is that most of us have a reputation at the beginning. What is yours? Even the school district and the school itself both have a reputation. Is it a “good” district? Is it a “good” school? If the reputation is already a good one, you start ahead! If not, you must strengthen yours and overcome negativity as you establish your reputation.

Some parents occasionally ask their child, “How was your day?” But there is one day that they will most certainly ask about - the first day of school!

It is imperative to make the first day of school a memorable one.

The following list is from “Smart Classroom Management” for the first school day:

• Smile and greet each student as they enter.

• Tell a great story.

• Maintain a spirit of humor.

• Enjoy teaching your plan and routines.

• Get them up and moving.

• Teach with passion and clarity.

• Let every student experience success.

This is a good list. As a school principal, I often ended the first day with a student assembly. We would have something highlighted, usually related to athletics or after-school programs.

Another thing to add to the SCM list is to learn everyone’s names as soon as possible.

One vital thing I encourage every teacher to do is to deliver a “Welcome to My Classroom” speech. This speech would go something like this: “Hello everyone! My name is Ferrell Yeokum, and I am privileged to be your science teacher this year. I plan to teach you what I know, which is a lot! I want you to know that I realize that you did not choose me to be your teacher. You were assigned to me. But in effect, I chose you! That is because I decided to be a teacher! I chose to be a teacher because I love Science. But I also love children and see them as so valuable to our future. I am more than “just a teacher”. I am also a husband and a father of 4 children. I have two sisters and a brother. I believe in this country and what it stands for.

As a teacher, it is my job to provide a safe and inviting place for all students assigned to me. Therefore, I can not allow any student to keep me from teaching or the students from learning. I expect that every student here will learn a lot. For that to happen, we must have order in this classroom. Therefore, I have expectations. I have expectations of myself, this school, and you. Let’s review these expectations.”

In the first few days, plan an ice-breaking routine. Something that will require movement is preferred. Of course, you must set the rules of expectation for these in advance.

Go over your rules/expectations. Have them repeat them. Give a test on your rules. Be sure that they are posted. Have the students write down the rules in their notebooks. Send a copy home for the parents to sign. Include a friendly letter to the parents explaining your classroom discipline plan and how you are glad you will be working with them to provide their students an environment that will ensure a successful learning journey. Spend a few minutes reviewing essential parts of the student handbook for your campus.

Too many teachers (and schools) do not hold their students accountable. Students need and want to be held accountable right away. They will test you to see if you know how to handle them. Let them gain a sense of your resolve on the first day. Be calm and kind, but start by holding them accountable, even on the first day.

But let me ask: What is your reputation at the school where you will work this coming year? Your reputation will be on the line this year, whether it is a good one or a bad one. By the end of the year, it will be better or worse than it was at the start.

Students also often arrive with reputations—reputations for being “good” students who behave and perform their work well or for being disruptive and not working very hard.

Concerning the children’s reputations, remember that they are children. They are growing up. Each year, they will mature a little more. Of course, they will be changing physically, and we should also consider the likelihood that they will change in other ways. They will even change some over the summer break. As I recall, some of my students seem to change a bit over winter break! We must accept them just as they come to us. Avoid pre-judging them based on what others may have told you or any early encounters with them.

The bottom line is, you need to believe in them. Believe in their possibilities. Accept them just as they are. Expect them to comply with your expectations. Love them. Love them all. They are all made in His image. Even the unlovely and the unlovable ones! They have been lent to you as their guide and teacher for a year. They are your students, your pupils, your disciples. If you wish for them to accept and respect you, you must be the adult, the calm and compassionate professional who will help them on their road to becoming a good person and a responsible adult.

What do you believe about the year ahead? Are you smiling as you think of it? Or, are you gritting your teeth? Your attitude will come forth. And your reputation is on the line.

What is happening to public education these days? We seem to have a problem allowing students to fail. If we have done our job teaching the curriculum, but the student has failed to try, at the very least, to learn it, shouldn’t the student be held accountable? Shouldn’t that student reap the consequences of his non-action, that is, to fail?

I recently read an article by Michael Linsin, editor for “Smart Classroom Management.” He wrote an article on this subject, which I have expressed to those I know for some time. I highly recommend subscribing to his newsletter. It is excellent!

I hear so many stories of school teachers who are expected to allow late work or provide “alternative” assignments to students to help them pass their courses.

As Michael Linsin says in his newsletter, “Alternative. In other words, easier.”

Seemingly, our educational system is no longer interested in excellence. We are no longer making it a priority to equip our students to be successful after graduation. We are creating weak children who struggle to become confident and booming adults. We should be helping our children to thrive, to become strong, courageous, and resilient.

No one enjoys failing. We can and should learn from our failures. We learn to get back up when we fail and try again. Life will not always give us an easier alternative option.

It is not just about poor academics (consider our nation’s Reading, Science, and Math scores). We are also allowing poor behavior to be acceptable. This only makes academic success all the less likely. Poor behavior stops academic progress.

We unfairly relieve them of responsibility for their learning and behavior by proclaiming, “You can’t help yourself. “It’s not your fault. “

We remove the natural consequences of their actions (or lack of actions). We are presented data that indicates that retaining students does not work. Doing so even once dramatically increases the likelihood of the student dropping out of school. No one wants that. Yet, what is the alternative? To allow the student to pass by grade inflation, alternative assignments, or social promotion? No doubt, we will increase graduation rates by doing so. At what price? Will the students graduate ready to face the challenges of the adult world?

The old saying is, “Everything you do and everything you don’t do sends a message.” What message do we send students if we allow them to be promoted when they have not completed the grade-level requirements?

Teachers are encouraged too often to inflate the grades. To give students more chances. And even more sometimes. Another excuse accepted. And then, maybe another. Given more and more individual help. Being told in different ways, “You can’t do this. I don’t expect you to.” Indulging their weaknesses. Accepting excuses. Lax self-control. Little accountability.

Sometimes, these things are necessary. Often, they are not. Children are then taught, “You can’t help yourself. So we will find ways to move you along.”

Here are the results of this thinking: According to recent data from the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP), around 63% of 12th graders in the United States are not proficient in reading or math, meaning a significant portion of high school graduates lack the necessary skills in these areas to succeed in college-level courses.

Business leaders also testify that high school graduates are less reliable in basic skills such as communicating, understanding how to count money, and treating other employees or customers well. Some cannot even read an analog clock! (“Only digital readouts, please!” they seem to proclaim)

Consider a recent report from LinkedIn: This report says our high school graduates are seen as “unprepared, unprofessional, unorganized, and struggling with communication skills.”

Do we not need to help these students? We need some courage to remove some of the dysfunctional barriers to true success. We are inadvertently making them weaker.

Possible solutions?

I know. Many times, we are up against some legal types of barriers. We should advocate for the students we believe can be held more accountable. To suggest that this or that accommodation is no longer needed when we attend our regular meetings discussing progress.

For example, annual special education meetings are called “ARDs.” ARD stands for Admission, Review, and Dismissal. We perform many admissions, many reviews, and very rare dismissals.

When these enabled children to start work at McDonalds, they competed with students who did all of their work. They won’t be able to say, “I used to get full credit for half of the work. I should be paid full wages for doing half of the work now. That was the way I have been raised, sir.”

I know that some students certainly need a hand-up. Some are doing their best to be as responsible as possible and still cannot accomplish what is required to meet standards. I get it.

Is it just me, or does it seem that more and more students are getting by doing less and less work? This is at a time when more and more resources (time, attention, money) are being given to help them achieve.

I am not suggesting that I have some silver bullet. We need to rein in some of these things. Some things are out of balance. The real world will hold these students accountable, and the legal world certainly will. One can’t say, “I can’t read well. I didn’t know what I was signing.”

The business world will not allow employees to say, “I need more time to accomplish what everyone else can do. So please excuse my inability to concentrate, communicate, or collaborate because I must have accommodations.”

What if we can increase their abilities to perform in the real world by 10%? 25%? 50%?

I say, "Let’s get started. Let’s have a little courage. Be more assertive. Hold students a little more accountable academically and behaviorally." I submit that they will become stronger and more capable. If we can do that, we will all win. If we can do that, why should we not do that?

Leaders have a little courage. Say “no. “Say, “I think (s)he can succeed without this (particular) accommodation. Let’s stop graduating so many weak and incapable people—for their sake. For our sake.

We can do this.

Let’s do this.

(By the way, I may stop posting to Substack. I have other projects and a full-time job, and I am unsure if this is having any worthwhile impact. If you have any thoughts on this, please let me know.)

Based on the above quote, what kind of classroom “world” have you built? Is it the one you hoped for?

(If you know of a struggling teacher, consider reading this and using it to help them succeed.)

Hoping for something is OK. Yet hoping your students will behave is not likely to produce the results you need or want. Hoping for something is not having it. Teachers who struggle with classroom discipline do too much hoping. Successful classroom teachers don’t just hope their students will behave. They know that they will because they require compliance.

I have witnessed many teachers who rely on hoping things will work out well. Hope as a tactic is not wise. Success in classroom discipline and creating a good learning culture takes planning, having high expectations, and actively engaging students in the fact that you will enforce your rules.

Remember that you are the teacher and that they are children—children in need of learning. Some, even most, children will enter your classroom ready to follow expectations from the start.

To have effective classroom management, the kind where you know your students will behave, you must protect the peaceful culture in your classroom at all costs (ethically and respectfully, of course). This must be your number one priority.

Hoping will not provide you with a classroom free from misbehaviors. Just like hoping they will learn math this year will not make it so. Hoping they will learn to brush their teeth, comb their hair, and wash their face will not suffice. Children have to be taught to do these things. It goes beyond hoping!

So why would an intelligent person believe that simply posting and announcing their rules will create a well-ordered classroom environment free from distractions? Yet I have seen many teachers who do just that. And those classes generally descend into chaos.

Are you hoping all the students will obey and bring the results you are hoping for?

“Teachers who struggle with classroom management do too much hoping.” Quote from Michael Linsin of Successful Classroom Management

They don’t just hope for a well-ordered classroom. They know they will build one. Anything worth building takes time and intentionality. They employ Covey’s 2nd Habit Of Successful People; “Begin with End in Mind”. (Habit 2)

And use his other habit of being proactive. (Habit 1)

This is your domain, your castle, your sanctuary. You build it that way to keep it a place where everyone knows you are in charge. You make the rules (not them).

You must

• Have the courage and conviction to stand your ground

• Explain your vision

• Enforce your rules

• Never argue

• Enforce your consequences

• Be consistent

• Conduct a well-planned, well-executed lesson

• Teach bell-to-bell

Believe in yourself. You know what is true about classroom order. You are doing what is right and good. You are teaching your students to thrive and understand all the beauty they earn and deserve when they submit to your healthy and courageous leadership every day.

And so, because you are not just hoping for good behavior and a smooth year -

You Can Handle Them ALL! (And YOU will!)

Children will need to be taught about their emotions. How to handle them. How to make acceptable choices even during difficult situations.⁣

Did you catch that keyword - TAUGHT! “Children will need to be taught about their emotions”. That requires a teacher. A teacher who understands that children will act like children. They need to be taught. They need to learn what is acceptable and what is not. They need to know how to control their emotions. They must also be held accountable for their actions.

We all know adults who sometimes give in to their emotions and act irresponsibly. No one makes great choices 100% of the time. I know that I sometimes fall prey to negative thinking and do not behave as I should in word or deed.

We should always be learning. Childhood is a time in life designed to learn how to be in control of one’s emotions and decisions. Children who do not learn self-control become adults who struggle with the ability to do so.

Likely, you know someone like that! Adults who enter into fits of anger, seek revenge, act selfishly, and are lazy. Often because they were not taught self-control. They were permitted to behave poorly without accountability.

1. Children are still learning self-regulation and emotional control.

2. Hunger, fatigue, overstimulation, or even boredom can lead to acting out. Similarly, a child seeking attention or struggling with a lack of connection might misbehave to elicit a response from adults.

3. Good children, like all children, test the limits of their environment's rules and expectations. This behavior is not defiance but a way of exploring autonomy and seeking clarity about what is acceptable.

4. Accountability is necessary to gain self-control,

Point #1 is related to the child’s age. Of course, PK children are still working on becoming more and more compliant. Older children should be expected to have more self-control; to be more obedient to meeting classroom expectations

Point #2 relates to the idea that we are not always aware of the battles kids are fighting.

For example, one year I was dealing with a middle school student who seemed unable to stay awake in class. Upon investigation, it was discovered that this child lived in a home with 2 families living in it. Her bed was on the couch. However, some adults and older children stayed on the sofa until 1:00 AM almost every night watching videos. She was getting less than 6 hours of sleep at night. Giving her a consequence for sleeping in class would not have helped anyone.

Point #3: We all test limits. For example, should you find yourself in a 45 MPH speed zone, do you ever exceed that a little? Use a radar detector? Ever tell a little lie about why you were late to work or some appointment? Ever fail to add in the money you made in a garage sale to your income tax statement? Do you intend to ticket your children for going 33 in a 30 MPH speed zone?

Point #4: If a student is blurting out, getting out of their seat, not working, or not conforming to your expectations, they should not be ignored or otherwise permitted to slide.

Sometimes, we all need a little grace. We must be judicious and hold children properly accountable if it is relevant, yet also show compassionate understanding if and when it is needed.

This means that these children likely need to know that you love them regardless. You care about them but their behavior needs to change. Self-control.

You still must work at holding your students accountable. Even the most compliant. Even the “good” kids. Because it is the behavior you are addressing; not the student. Yes, some mercy and grace are required at times when dealing with tiny humans. Just be careful that you are not showing any favoritism. Recall that even good children will misbehave at times. It would be best if you tried to develop the rapport needed for a good relationship with your students - because with that -

YOU Can Handle Them All!

⁣

Compliance is necessary to promote the expectation that the teacher is, indeed, the “king” in charge of the kingdom. Your classroom is not a democracy. The teacher is the Ruler.

Too often teachers, especially younger teachers, fear setting expectations. They seem to have the mistaken idea that if the teacher lets the student off, then he/she will be more appreciated by the students. One teacher even expressed to me that she feared that “students would hate me for it” (holding them accountable for their actions).

This is untrue. More often the opposite happens. The other students are watching what you do. You are developing a reputation. Your reputation is that you do not hold students accountable. Students are deciding all along the way whether you are a person who has earned their respect or not. The result of not requiring compliance will be that chaos will likely reign in your classroom. Learning, therefore, will not be occurring. Soon, you will be counting the days until you can retire.

That’s not what you signed up for. You wanted to make a difference. You felt led, felt called to be a teacher. “But these kids these days ….”, you say.

Yes, controlling a classroom full of children can be difficult, but others have done it. I know you remember teachers in your past who commanded respect. You learned what they taught you because the respect and rapport with the teacher were in place.

I will bet they operated as the “Ruler” in their classroom. I will further assert that they were also a winsome ruler and their students gladly followed their leader.

It is the old saying “A king who loves is loved”. Such leaders are indeed the rulers in their room. Their subjects willingly follow their leader. They know the expectations and everyone wins. The reputation is constantly being formed and shored up for what it is. True learning occurs in these rooms.

“Earn their respect?” you say. YES! In today’s world, respect is rarely given automatically. Namby-pamby rulers are often taken advantage of and are rarely respected as they are cowards who allow their subjects to rule over them.

These are children. You are the adult. You are the leader who should be providing them guidance about becoming a thriving adult; correcting, training, admonishing, and exhorting these children in your care

When students understand and follow established guidelines, they are more likely to feel safe and understand the boundaries. This structure allows them to develop trust in the teacher and their classroom environment.

In practice, this approach requires teachers to first focus on routines, rules, and expectations (compliance), so students learn the "how" of classroom behavior. Then, with that foundation in place, they are better prepared to engage in cooperative activities where collaboration, flexibility, and mutual respect are key.

Now, how about you? Are you the winsome ruler in your classroom, expecting compliance? It is not too late to start requiring compliance. Start by announcing the reset. Consider a sincere apology for being complacent. Be determined always to say what you mean and mean what you say.

Become your classroom's courageous, confident, compassionate, and consistent leader.

It is your classroom. Take charge of it and your students will appreciate it and they will thrive under the new you! Take charge! Then, stay in charge. It will take a little time to develop the new habit of being the benevolent dictator in your room. Stay with it!

You can do this! You can handle them all!

(For more teaching on this subject, please see and subscribe to my YouTube channel “Discipline That Reaches and Teaches”)

As a school principal, it was quite common to have a parent express that their child was unhappy at our school.

We should always endeavor to provide excellent customer service. Every service organization should be willing to hear from its clientele. In our case, we are speaking of students. All students come to us with parents or guardians. We comprise a network of people, a “team” working together toward one outcome: forming capable, strong, and successful human beings by the time they graduate.

I used to post a sign in the school office which stated:

“It’s your kids. It’s your money. It’s your school. We work for you.”

I’m not sure where I first heard that, but I agree with the premise. We should want parents to be pleased with our work and we should work to provide good results. How should school personnel respond to a complaint about their child’s unhappiness?

My advice is to listen to the complaint a bit and discover what the true issue might be. After all, the parent was not present when the event occurred and has not heard the complete story. They are bringing their concern because their child has complained to them. As the advocate for their child, they have the right to inquire about the complaint.

Because they are our client base, how far are we expected to go to satisfy parents' expectations? Should we be expected to make their child “happy” every day in every way?

Of course, the answer is no. We have no obligation to make anyone happy. It would be great if they were happy and fully satisfied with everything we do but that is unrealistic.

We should always listen to what the parent has to say. We should listen closely. They have the right to expect that much. It might be possible that some changes need to be made on our part. It depends on the complaint. But above all, do not take things personally. Look for any truth in their complaint as an opportunity to improve our service.

“I am unhappy that my child was punched by another student.” Of course, we can all agree this requires attention and needs to be investigated.

“My child is unhappy with the grade they received” Or, “I am unhappy with the grade my child received.” is a different problem.

Many parents today expect their children never to be unhappy. These are often homes where the child rules and the parents rarely deny their child’s requests. They mean well.

There is a book out titled, “Happiness is Overrated”. I like the idea that the title presents. (I am not recommending the book.) Yet we live in an age where happiness is often stated as the end goal.

There is nothing wrong with being happy. It would be great if all students in your classroom could be happy. All of them. But some of them might not be so happy, every day, all the time. A school is a place of work. That is why we call it “school work”. I would venture a guess that sometimes things at our workplace do not make us happy. That is bound to happen,

We can even help parents who have these expectations. Do they ever do anything that causes their child to be unhappy? Just be sure to approach such discussions in a respectful way. A lecture, of course, would not be wise.

My advice is to realize that parent’s requests should always be listened to. Maybe we can improve our service But also know that we will not always be able to satisfy every notion. So often, simply listening to a concerned parent or guardian is all they need from you.

We want parents on our side. We need them on our side as much as possible. Certainly, we do not desire an adversarial relationship with the home. At the same time, we can’t compromise on our values and culture. In any event, be certain that you remain calm and professional at all times, even if you do not seem to agree at the end of the meeting.

Either way, make a tickler file and check back with the parent in a week to 10 days. Inquire as to how things seem to be going. It is the customer service thing to do!

After all, they are our customer. And we can handle them all.

Henry David Thoreau

At the last school I led, our students repeated their school pledge after reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. It was a simple motto. Easy to memorize and recall:

“I will learn what is true; I will do what is good, I will love what is beautiful.”

Easy to recite. It can become very rote. Glibly executed as ultra routine. It is easy to say, but not so easy to implement in one’s own life.

Yet we know that words have meaning. “Good” means something. It should mean more than it does to almost all of us most of the time.

“Do what is good.” Simple. Not at all profound. Goodness. Being good. How does that work? “What does this have to do with education?”, you may ask. I submit that it has everything to do with it.

“Why is that so?”, you might ask. Educators should be interested in the kinds of people we are graduating. What is the result of their many years spent with us as educators? These students will leave school and move on to become our police, doctors, ministers, military, judges, politicians, senators, mayors, mechanics, home builders, postal workers, teachers, athletes, parents, neighbors, and more.

I submit that we want these folks to be good people.

We can’t have too many good people. Are you with me on this? I think we all know that we don’t have enough nor can we have too many good people.

I’m not talking about greatness. We all know some great people who may not be good people. Great athletes who are not good, great actors, musicians, politicians, and others who are great at what they do but are not good people. Great in their fields maybe but not providing goodness to their world and those whom they may influence.

Likely, we may even have some great teachers who are not good. To help in creating good people in schools, we need good teachers. What we need is good people who are also teachers.

OK. How do teachers create good students who become good people? People who are honest, trustworthy, kind, and grateful? Good people, who unselfishly give back to the lives of others? We do so by being good people who feel called to move children from where they are to where they can be. Good people who are helping our young people become who they can be.

Most children are ready to be led. They yearn for a leader teacher whose life is worthy of respect, a leader worthy of following, and a leader who genuinely cares about who their students are becoming. They long for a loving leader who accepts them as they are and leads them to becoming a truly good person.

You cannot make anyone good. Wouldn’t that be great if we could? All you can do is try. Be that leader teacher! What a legacy we teachers can leave behind.

You can make a difference. Be good person and determine to make that difference.

~ Havelock Ellis

My Substack platform is mostly built around the niche of classroom order and student accountability. Today’s posting is a small departure from the usual.

As everyone knows, trials come into our lives in the midst of daily living. We move through time and space in a planned sequence, and then - BAM! - something unexpected happens and our life goes quickly out of kilter.

Many of you know that my wife’s mother (my mother-in-law) has lived with us for the past 2+ years. Recently, she passed away at the grand old age of 95. As a result, I have gotten behind on my Substack postings.

This trial has reminded me of some important life lessons. Mostly that time with loved ones will come to an end one day, and we do not get to choose when that time happens.

I do wish that I would have spent more time with Fran. I know she would have enjoyed that. I am a busy guy. Just like you! I did spend time with her often. Yet now I see that it could have been more time (quantity) but certainly an improvement in quality would have been more excellent.

We’ve heard this sound advice before. “Tell them often that you love and appreciate them.”

I add my voice to that refrain. Amen! I do wish I could express my love for Fran just one more time. Just one more final hour in her presence would quell my now regretful and anxious spirit.

Now, it is final. The opportunity was there and I missed it. Forever gone.

Here is the lesson today. I still consider myself a teacher at heart. Learn from me.

Slow down. Life comes fast. Friends and loved ones can enter eternity very quickly from natural causes, accidents, and sickness. Grief and trials can steal our peace and joy from us.

Enjoy the people God has placed in your life. Love all of those you find along your path. Love that student who seems so unlovable. You might just be God’s instrument to aid them in acquiring peace and joy in their lives. Children learn to love by being loved. They learn to love from important people around them who model the way they should go. Your students need you! Show them true beauty. Introduce them to beautiful things around them. Help them to know and experience peace and joy.

Encourage your students to love the people in their world, especially parents, grandparents, sisters, and brothers. Remind them that these important people should be told “I love you.”

I wish I would have said, “I love you”, more often. I should have. So should you! You won’t regret it. Your assignment is to tell your spouse, children parents, and siblings that you love them

An additional assignment: love the children given to you this year at school. Help them be kind, gracious, and loving. The world needs more teachers to teach such things!

Blessings will come your way should you decide to do these things. I regret not having done so more than I have and I intend to be better at it.

The world today is increasingly ambiguous. This is an unfortunate reality for all people these days.

But you are a leader. A leader of the next generation. Our youth today must also deal with an ambiguous world. All social media is filled with ambiguity. Our children are vulnerable and they need our informed leadership. They need role models who take their leadership responsibilities seriously. They need powerful leaders who can help them see through the vagueness in their social media. Leaders who do not negotiate with what is true, what is good, and what is beautiful.

Are you that leader? Will you have the courage to help these kids fight against the evil that is stealing their goodness, their innocence? Will you?

This calls for wisdom. We desire that those in our charge will develop discernment and understanding of the world in which they find themselves today and the world they will occupy tomorrow.

Leadership demands clarity. In your classroom, in your inner person, there can be no confusion, no hypocrisy. In you, they must see fairness, consistency, and justice.

Are your expectations of them clear? Have you reviewed your expectations lately? Are your expectations posted? Have you followed those expectations well so far this year?

To be a clear leader, you have to always be a calm leader. You can only control yourself, so be certain to do so.

This is a reminder to never argue. Never escalate. If you have been guilty of these things, or possibly worse (e.g., yelling or pleading), repent and start fresh!

Leadership includes knowing you will be criticized. Have the courage to clearly say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done.

Do your students clearly know the following points: (as they should by now)

How to enter and exit your room?

What to do if they finish their work early?

What to do if they break their pencil?

What to do if they forgot their homework, book, etc?

How to act on field trips or with a substitute?

Have you taught and modeled all routines?

Maybe they need to be re-taught. Never be afraid to seek a fresh start on expectations if things are not going well. Consider reteaching your expectations now and from time to time.

Teaching is a demanding job. It should also be a fulfilling job. These kids need you. This ambiguous world needs your clarity of instruction, thought, and wisdom.

Don’t stop being their anchor in a world that is drifting away from truth and destroying their innocence. Be a beacon of light shining in a world leaning towards darkness more so each day.

You are needed. Thank you for doing the heavy lifting!

YOU can handle them all.

Christie Brinkley

Christie Brinkley is not who I would consider a great role model. But I do like her quote here.

The “Tough Love” mantra used to be heard more often than it is today. It certainly is not “woke” material!

In light of recent circumstances (school shootings in Georgia and Maryland), I thought I would revisit this idea for classroom teachers.

During school hours, the Texas Education Agency recognizes that we are “in the place of parents” (en loco parentis) while they are at school. I contend that the idea of always holding the children accountable is along the same lines as “tough love”. At times, teachers should be willing to practice “tough love” that is appropriate for the learning and well-being of the children in their care.

What is so wrong about the word “no”? Children should hear the word no more often. Certainly more often than most of them hear it these days.

It is human nature to want to hear “Yes” to all our requests. We seem to believe that our children will only be happy hearing yeses to any of their desires.

I appreciated this quote from “The Parenting Junkie”.

• If we want our children to be happy, we must stop fixating on their happiness.

Happiness is a feeling. All feelings are temporary. We should not want nor expect our children to operate on feelings. We should not always be focused on pleasure. It is not realistic. Some real things in life are not fun. Brushing one’s teeth may not be fun but having cavities is certainly not pleasurable.

This simple example (brushing your teeth) can be expanded into almost any area of life. e.g., telling your child that you will not help to buy them a car until they are old enough to drive. OR, not giving your child an AK47 at age 14 for Christmas or their birthday. Those would be appropriate “no’s” in almost every case.

I would think that telling them no when it comes to violent or inappropriate video games or apps will produce happier children in the long run compared to the pleasure of engaging in things of no intrinsic value and have the potential to do irreparable harm.

Part of growing up happy or living happy as an adult includes denying oneself things that are appealing but that we know we need to reject.

Of course, we want our children to be happy. Sometimes, making them happy is not what is best. Dealing with a no and dealing with a little rejection can be helpful in their development.

When asked “What do you want most for your child?”, the number one answer is, “I want them to be happy!”

Saying yes to most everything they seem to desire and that we can supply does not provide them with the coping skills they will require to meet life’s setbacks. Saying no when that is best for children assists them on their road to maturity and living a successful life. Focusing so much on a child’s happiness can actually cause unhappiness. This presents a paradox

Since these posts are mostly for teachers, we need to be minded of our well-researched place in a child’s development. We all know of the wonderful stories of the impact that a teacher has had on the life of a child. I contend that teachers have more impact on the lives of children than they realize.

Too many children today seem to lack the resilience children used to possess. Too many of them cannot handle being told no to something they were seeking permission to do. There is simply too much emphasis on personal happiness. This can often be at the expense of hindering their personal emotional growth and well-being.

Have the courage to say “no” to your children. During the school day, they are your children. We share that responsibility with the home.

Today’s society seems to be pushing children (and everyone) into expecting every day to be an easy-going, happy, happy day. Stress free. As result, we are raising a generation of weak children. Children who cannot handle an adversity.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this does not apply across the board. But the problem seems to be growing. Just ask the experts or listen to the newscasts.

In today’s world, teachers need to be courageous leaders who can say no as needed. They need to hold their students accountable and stand up to parents who don’t like their children being given consequences for misbehaviors.

You have been trained to do what is best and right. So — do that!

Don’t be afraid to say “NO!” and stay with NO!

Because you can handle them all!

The school year is now in full swing. You have met with all of your classes, given them your welcome speech, provided them with an overview of the course or classes, engaged in some ice-breakers, and reviewed your expectations (rules).

The first couple of weeks are now in the books. History. Done.

In education, we refer to this period as “The Honeymoon”. The honeymoon is typically over when we get to the Labor Day weekend. Here we are!

Your students have probably figured you out by this time. They likely know what you are really like.

What are they thinking about you and your class? Are they excited about the year? Looking forward to the next interesting topic? Do they see that you require them to work but that you are fair in your expectations?

What about your classroom order? Is your classroom remaining well organized? Recall that a messy desk and environment discourages good work ethics and encourages off-task behaviors.

How have the students been behaving? If you are an experienced teacher, you realize you have yet to see who they truly are about their willingness to submit to your authority.

It is time to expect some testing of your resolve. Expect some pushback.

Are you ready for that? It’s coming! Anticipate.

This is an excellent time to review your expectations. Remind them of your commitments to them. Be sure, be very sure, to hold them accountable. Look for a reason early in the day with each group to impose a consequence for violating your expectations.

Too often, our wonderful and compassionate teachers provide too many warnings. It is time to be more stern. You have expectations. Say what you mean. Mean what you say!

Remember: You are the boss, the CEO, the reigning monarch, the leader in your classroom. Your students need to see you as the in-charge professional who will provide them with a safe and secure learning environment.

This is the time to earn their respect. They are wondering.

This coming week; will your reputation be elevated or damaged? It will likely be one way or the other; elevated or damaged. The word gets around through the grapevine.

“Did you hear what happened in Mr. Smith’s class? Did you hear what he did about it?” Parents and other teachers will hear about it as well.

And your year will be much less fretful for everyone as they all witness and experience your resolve to conduct a classroom dedicated to what is true, good, and beautiful.

Stay calm. Do not argue. Do not escalate. DO NOT BACK DOWN. Stand up without fighting back. There is never a power struggle in your classroom. Because you already have all of the power!

And - YOU Can Handle Them All!

Rick Warren

In a recent YouTube video on my channel “Discipline That Reaches and Teaches”, the subject was about the teacher as the classroom leader and what leadership means in meeting the needs of the students (and parents).

Based on feedback, the message was well received. In my latest video, I acknowledged the response. A good friend of mine said, “I don’t think most teachers see themselves as leaders. They needed to hear what you had to say.”

I reflected on that and realized that this was likely true. Looking back on my years in the classroom, I did not think of myself as a leader. I was “just” a teacher.

As my subtitle indicates, I was a lousy teacher when I started. I’ve told my story many times and those who know that story would agree that I was not a good teacher. As Rick Warren’s quote states -” there are moments in deep despair”. I experienced many such moments as a rookie teacher.

If you are a teacher, then you are a leader. I had to learn that lesson the hard way.

A great leader has several attributes that combine to make them a great leader. Today, I want to review what I call the “5 C’s” of leadership:

1. Calmness

2. Compassion

3. Confidence

4. Consistency

5. Courage

(The order is not significant.)

Calmness:

A great leader is always calm. Always. Of course, this state of being is difficult to achieve 100% of the time. I am certain we all have experienced a leader who was not calm towards others; maybe not even toward you.

We must work on this. Be in control of yourself at all times. No one likes being near a person who is out of control. When you have a student who is exasperating, do not grow angry. Remain calm under duress. Doing so will eventually bring the other person into a state of calmness. You simply remain calm as the mature, in-charge, professional teacher.

Do the same with a challenging parent. Or with a peer who becomes upset, or even with your leader, your boss who loses a bit of self-control momentarily.

Confidence:

A great leader must lead in confidence. Followers will not follow a leader who is namby-pamby or uncertain about things. The leader must be decisive, even when forced to take quick action or “think on his feet”. In a school setting, things often occur that require the teacher to demonstrate confidence.

Consistency:

Consistency is a very important trait. We often encounter leaders who are inconsistent in their procedures and methods. This causes the followers to be unsure of what they are to do or they may try and “second guess” what they should do.

This is especially true of your classroom expectations. Your students should know what is likely to happen should they disobey one of your policies.

Compassion:

Compassion is a particularly necessary leadership trait for a classroom teacher. All leaders should show compassion for all followers.

Students are children. As children, they struggle with their identity and how they cope with life as they mature. They need grace. They still need to be held accountable but with consistent grace and compassion as warranted by the situation. They need our loving guidance. Guidance can still be firm in setting the boundaries children require to form good habits in life.

Courage:

This attribute is often thought of as being more for military or political leaders. Yet every good leader needs to possess the courage to do what is right and good.

This is not always easy. Their followers are individuals with ideas of how things should be done. The leader must make decisions that are in the best interests of the entire team while knowing that some members may not like their decisions.

You must have the courage to do what is right and true. The courage to reject what might be easy and expedient if that solution is not honorable or is at the expense of what is fair and just.

Being courageous infers a level of risk-taking. Being truly fair can often require the courage to act in difficult and unselfish ways.

Leadership attributes are the result of formed habits. Leaders, especially young leaders, can work on the leadership principles to make them increasingly automatic and habitual.

This is a video about these 5 attributes:

Teachers, as these attributes become increasingly a part of your being, you can learn to handle every situation that comes your way. You can learn to handle them all