We don’t have as much time as we think we do.

And as we grow older, it seems like time goes by faster, right?

Yet, some people keep drifting for months, years, or even decades, waiting for the perfect opportunity, the perfect moment, the adequate place and time to start acting towards whatever feels like it’s gonna turn their life around.

They look at successful people and can’t understand what truly got them where they’re at. They don’t know if it was luck, a hack, or if they gathered the perfect conditions to act.

Preparation and planning are important; that’s for sure.

But they’re only a small part of a big process.

The real winners know when to act when things are aligned.

But they also know what to do when they feel lost, distracted, or unmotivated — and it’s basically the same thing they do when they’re winning.

With this post, I’m gonna show you a mental framework that’ll make sure that you’ll act on something, even if you don’t feel ready to do it.

A mental framework that separates the 1% from the other 99%.

Something that I’ve started to apply in ALL areas of my life, and found nothing but success.

This is what got me out of a rut of smoking weed, not being able to run, and barely having three digits in my bank account, to becoming a productive machine and a family provider, while also writing and helping people online, and becoming a Karate sensei, right after going through the worst period of my life.

This is what saved me from darkness.

What allowed me to move when all I felt like doing was to blame the world, cry, and give up.

I copied others’ strategies, step-by-step programs. Some of them worked.

But I’m not here to give you a step-by-step on how to be incredible.

This is different.

I’m gonna give you a mental model that you can use whenever you feel like there’s no way out.

It’s not that easy. It can take a while for it to click.

But when it does, you’re set to win as you never have in your life.

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Procrastination is something you won’t ever completely solve, and this is what no one tells you.

Welcome to the real world.

The only thing you should be worried about with procrastination is knowing how to manage it and make it so ridiculous that you don’t want to do it for most days of your life.

And even that won’t be enough sometimes.

But wanna hear the good news?

When those times happen — the days you do nothing but exist, play movies all day, and eat popcorn until corn starts to come out of your eyes — you won’t even feel bad about the fact that you’re “procrastinating”.

Because then it won’t feel like procrastinating, but actual play, rest, or low time.

What most people struggle with nowadays is something that goes beyond the act of procrastinating.

It goes beyond their “lack of will” to do anything. It’s much more than that.

It’s something that they haven’t grasped yet, and until they do, they’ll keep fucking up over and over again.

If you don’t want to make the same mistake, then I highly recommend that you keep reading.

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There’s something about people who are really attractive.

You know those people who you can’t just describe something in them that makes them interesting, appealing, sexy, mysterious, or desirable?

Maybe all at once?

When you say shit like “I don’t know what she has, but I just want to bite it.”

This goes beyond physical attraction, by the way.

I know that nowadays most people who want everything easy and perfect focus on looksmaxxing, and aura farming, and whatever the fuck.

Essentially, they give too much importance to looks and what and how others perceive them.

But, to me, and I know I’m not alone in this, there’s something really attractive about someone who just knows who they are.

Who aren’t afraid of being themselves.

People who seem like they figured out that one thing EVERYONE’s been chasing for years, for decades, hell, since the dawn of time.

That thing that you probably have been chasing too, and have no idea how to get it.

At least I chased it for a long time, before I gave up on it for a while, only to wake up to the fact that I was just being insecure.

It took me a while to learn, but I did.

Becoming more attractive is so much different from what I imagined, and I still see many people trying to take the old way I used to take as well.

To follow the same shallow concepts and tricks that only scream desperation.

Today, I see it for what it really is.

So here’s everything I learned that will make you more attractive - in every single metric.

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The self-improvement world is saturated with information, and it’s fucking everybody’s brains up.

People become addicted to it, they start to follow a self-help book like it was the Bible, but never achieve anything meaningful or what they wanted in the first place.

It’s not bad to read self-help content.

Shit, I would be a complete hypocrite if I was against it.

It’s incredible.

But only when you can find something that really clicks with you. And, in the midst of all of these millions of ideas, hacks, systems, programs, monk modes, and yadda, yadda, we lose track of who we are trying to become.

And it creates a big problem, called FOMO.

I’ve suffered a lot from it, and wrote about it here a few months ago.

It got nice feedback, and it reflected how serious and real this problem is.

Most people don’t know where to turn. Not only because they don’t know which direction to take, they also keep being misdirected by endless distractions - politics, social media, junk food, crap TV.

So when they decide to finally turn their life around, they have a fucking gazillion options, which only makes them more confused, adopting methods, beliefs, strategies, or whatever the hell they bought from a course, or read in a book, that don’t suit what they’re actually looking for.

Does this sound familiar to you?

I bet it does to a lot of people.

There’s obviously ALWAYS a way to turn your life around.

I’ve been beaten down many times, and I’m still here standing. Sharper than ever. I’ve seen people going through worse than me and being better than me now. I’ve seen struggle, but I also saw resilience and patience.

But having those traits is really fucking hard when FOMO runs your mind.

I know because I’ve been there.

Coming out of that loop where nothing seems to satisfy is fucking hard, and I’m not saying that FOMO will disappear forever.

What I’m saying is that FOMO is a mindset that can be easy to deal with. It won’t always feel good. The process of it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but when it does click, it fucking clicks.

It makes you feel things — emotions, memories from happier days. It makes you appreciate what’s happening in the moment, and you only become smarter, stronger, and faster that way.

That’s what the self-help industry tries to teach you.

But instead they just shove you information under flashy titles and hooks.

Sure, I do that sometimes too, but in my case, it’s my story we’re talking about, and people that I know who did it.

It’s simply a mindset trick that will allow you to stay more focused, find what you want from your life, or simply feel more calm and relaxed.

For me, that’s what happened.

All three.

Allow me to share it with you.

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Wanting to change your life for the better but not knowing how to do it is one of the worst feelings ever.

And that’s very common in 2026 because, despite the fact that we have so much fucking information, nothing happens the way we want to for some reason.

We want to become richer but end up always with less money than we wanted by the end of the month.

We promise ourselves we’re going to be more focused and disciplined, and that now we’re going to take control over our lives, and yet, almost everybody fucks it up.

Many times, way sooner than they thought.

I know that because that was basically my life in a nutshell. But I’ve learned some valuable shit.

If you’re tired of going back to the same old habits, the same old lifestyle, the same old “you”, it’s because you still can’t clearly see the real potential of a new, fresh life.

Because no matter how tired you are of the situation you’re in, the comfort that you feel from it is what makes you stay.

For example, you want to lose weight, but that burger from that fast food place is so fucking delicious after a long and hard day at work, right?

Your goals seem like a great idea and very real in your mind, but as soon as you try to make them a reality, something feels really off about it.

But why? Why the fuck is it so fucking hard to get your shit together?

The reason why is that you haven’t seen yourself from far enough to fully grasp the situation you’re in.

Because if you can see the entire timeline of your mistakes, your broken promises, your fuck ups, your dishonest moments, the times where you lied to yourself and to others, you’ll feel this urge to change.

As fast as possible.

That’s what happened to me when I was forced to disappear for a while, in a time when my life seemed like it was only going to get worse.

And the only way I had to solve the problem I was in was to get as focused as possible.

To try to understand with a lot of fucking urgency the sources of why my life seemed like a bucket full of horseshit, while having someone to put more in every time I tried to take some out of it.

I had all the reasons to be depressed, and I think I would actually get depressed if I hadn’t disappeared.

And it’s amazing how, after all this time of trying to get my life in order, the solution to 99% of my problems was doing something so simple, yet so hard not only for me, but for everybody.

It sucks, and there are moments where you just want to stop because it’s too unbearable.

But honestly, in the times we live in, I truly believe it’s the only solution for millions of people who are tired of being average, sad, and completely powerless.

All you have to do is learn how to navigate through the darkness.

It takes some time.

But when it clicks, it clicks.

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I’ve been asked two questions from two different subscribers that just a few years ago I didn’t have a fucking clue on how to answer them.

Most likely, I would have answered something I’d heard on a YouTube video, a self-help book, or something I heard someone older than me say.

But when I saw them in my DMs these last few days, I kinda saw myself from a few years ago, trapped in a place I was tired of being in.

Lost, confused, although motivated enough to make my life better, wanting to get out of a rot that seemed like a chronic problem I’d have to deal with for the rest of my life.

But after years of putting myself out there, failing miserably, but getting closer to the real answers (and not those who are bought from a course from someone who has no fucking clue how complex life can be, and thinks that all answers live inside of a 40-page PDF) I feel very comfortable in sharing my piece.

Today, I’m here to tell you how I got out of that fucking situation, and answer those two questions that haunted me for years and years.

The problem that almost no one knows about

These two questions aren’t something that only these two people can’t answer.

These are cultural problems that live amongst millions, if not billions of people. These are blocks that most people you know have in their lives, and a very big reason why changing your life might seem impossible, because we’re dwelling in so much fucking information, that achieving simple things seems like an impossible task.

What are these questions?

“You said I wasn’t properly tapping into my dark side to make things better - could you elaborate on that?”

And,

“A problem I’ve been dealing with is living a life that feels like it’s not yours just to get by and finding the strength to get out of it.

When you’re at the bottom, how do you crawl out?”

To the first question - this article is dedicated to you, so sit back, grab your notebook, and prepare to see a big truth unfold in front of you.

To the second question - the way I crawled out of it was by accepting that there was no other way but to do what the first subscriber asked me about it.

It took me years to figure out what’s wrong with me and everyone

A lot of people get immediately uncomfortable about the concept of someone’s “dark side”.

We’ve grown up thinking that “good” is separated from “bad”, when in reality, it’s the complete opposite.

They compliment each other. There is no light without darkness. Yin Yang.

And I urge you to understand this because you’re most likely leaving 50% (!!) of your energy and potential behind.

Maybe that’s why things seem harder than they need to be. Why they take longer or seem more complicated than they need to be.

When you’re going at half of the pace, with half of preparation, with half of the knowledge, with half of the energy, it’s no wonder why you’re underachieving.

People run away from concepts like “fear”, “anxiety”, “depression”, “embarrassment”, “discomfort”, “uncertainty”, “pain”, “sadness”.

Me?

I use these motherfuckers as fuel.

Because in a time of my life, those were the only things that I felt, and I had no other option but to use them in my favor instead of having them blocking my way to success.

And what I found out is that everybody can and must do that.

But it’s pretty fucking hard to do that when for all your life you were thought to be “positive”, “patient”, “considerate” – in realer terms, soft.

This is not about becoming ruthless or cruel. It’s about reclaiming the parts of yourself that got you to survive. Like your anger at mediocrity, your refusal to compromise, your competitive fire, and using those same muscles to build instead of just surviving.

Sure, it’s pretty obvious that you need to be respectful and a decent human being.

But when you’re “too good” of a person, when you’re always “nice”, when you’re always playing by rules that others dictated, and that only got you to a place where you’re not contempt and satisfied – that became a pretty big fucking problem to me.

And the only solution I had was to tap into my darker side and conquer everything that was being taken away from me for all my fucking life.

My values, my dreams, my success, my happiness, my purpose, and my peace of mind.

It took me four years to reach a point where I felt mildly happy. I still have a lot more to conquer. I still have a lot more things I want to do.

But today, I want to save you months, if not even years of work you’d do if you were to find all of this by yourself.

Allow me to show you how to use your dark side properly, without becoming a prick and someone everyone despises.

Because successful people aren’t just nice. Even though they can be the most humble people you know.

They learned along the way that, sometimes, you have to channel shit you don’t want to feel. You have to go back to mental spaces that destroyed you once in your life.

You have to tap into your Joker side sometimes to feel like Batman, in order to get your life together and help the people you love and need you - even if you don’t even know that yet.

So here’s the only way I found to completely turn my life around.

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If you clicked on this article, it’s because you either relate to the title, or you’re legit curious to find out how fucking weird I am.

But I’d bet that somehow, you relate to the title.

And I know why.

There’s been this weird trend going online for the last few years where people celebrate being weird, different, and socially excluded.

To me, they’re desperately calling for attention.

What I want to do here is different.

What I want to do is show you how your weirdness and unique perspective on the world are the only valuable things that you hold, and how to deal with that, even though you might seem is costing you everything.

Maybe you feel bad about it, and you try to hide it.

Maybe you feel good about it, but sad about the fact that it’s hard for you to relate to everyone else.

But one thing is pretty fucking clear — letting go of your own weirdness to try to fit society’s expectations is suicide.

The worst thing you can do to your potential.

Yet, it seems like everybody does that. Because people can’t even identify what being truly weird is.

A lot of times, they confuse it for confidence. For perseverance. For honesty. For having opinions that haven’t been pre-approved by a group chat.

These are traits that society slowly removes from us so we can act normal. And when someone shows up still carrying them, they get labeled weird.

Like it’s a diagnosis. Like it’s something to fix.

It’s not.

It’s the last thing left of you that hasn’t been sanded down.

This article is about making sure you embrace that, while still being able to socialize, work, and provide naturally, without feeling bad or having to play a persona you don’t want to be.

It’s 2026, and being “weird” is most likely the only successful way you can find to live the life that you want.

Today, I’m gonna show you how I did it and how you can too.

• By dealing with the cost of being weird before it pays off.

• By showing you the moment where the script completely flipped in my favor.

• And how to maintain your weirdness as a magnet for success in every realm of your life.

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We’re shaped by outside factors and others’ opinions more than what we want to admit.

No one likes to feel that lack of control that society has upon us.

That feeling when we realize we have the same flaws as the people who are close to us. When we notice that a big part of our identity is being shaped by everyone and everything but us.

We all want to feel authentic.

We want to be original.

We want to feel like we’re ourselves by our own will and capability.

And there’s a point in life where that illusion cracks.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with being shaped by your environment. It’s life, and we can’t control it.

But we can control a big part of the script — if we choose to completely disappoint a lot of people who have a certain idea of us that we don’t like to carry.

People like who we are when it serves them the best.

There is a very small number of people who want to see you for who you actually are, unfortunately.

But that’s ok. Because that very small number is sufficient for you to feel happy.

You don’t need twenty fake friends who manipulate you into being what they want you to be. Whether they do it consciously or subconsciously. You need one or two who really like who you are.

But for that to happen, you have to accept that you’re going to disappoint a lot of people and deal with the fact that a lot of them will feel uncomfortable, sad, or angry about it.

You’ll disappoint more people than you’d like to.

But if you want my honest opinion on this — fuck them.

They never wanted you to be happy. They wanted to use you so they could feel happy.

And to me, that’s pretty fucking cruel, and more than a good enough reason to go out there and be yourself unapologetically.

I used to think this was somewhat bullshit.

That you could be yourself while also playing a friendly and soft position to continue to hang out with old friends.

That there was an equilibrium where everything could happen at the same time. Where you grow, while your long-time friends are rooting for you and realize they want to grow too, and you guys end up having an 80-year-old friendship where everyone tried to maximize their potential.

But after a few hard moments in my life, I woke the fuck up.

I realized that most of the people I used to trust and call and meet to vent about life and share my opinions were working against me.

For the longest time, I blindly created a personality that not only served to hide my insecurities but also fitted my friends’.

And I carried it with me everywhere, even when I wasn’t with them.

Sometimes, I’d go out of my comfort zone when meeting new people or getting in new social circles.

And it felt good for a while to be with someone different and be someone different.

But every time I got back home and reunited with them, the old me would come out again.

The same silly jokes. The same “safe” opinions, where I wouldn’t necessarily agree but I’d soften up so it wouldn’t come off as contrarian. The same old drinking habits when we were together, despite telling myself over and over every time I was alone, I wanted to stop being that person.

I realized it became pretty fucking hard to become someone different while still hanging around with the same people who pushed me to be the old me.

The same lazy and insecure dude who didn’t know how to choose the right friends.

The one who had to downplay my dreams and my ambition so I wouldn’t make my lazy and judgy friends uncomfortable.

I had to hold my true self so I wouldn’t come off as “too outgoing” (whatever the fuck that means) because appearances mattered way fucking more than us being ourselves.

And this started to become painfully obvious with a very specific group of friends I had from school.

I know everybody has been through this. A toxic group of friends. A toxic group at work. A toxic family member.

We know that they’re hurting us.

And still, we’re afraid of disappointing them because we don’t want to be equally mean to them as they are to us.

So we keep hanging out with them while flushing our self-esteem down the toilet to please others and avoid being alone with our true and uncomfortable thoughts.

You can put that to a stop, though. You can actually have the life you want.

All you need to do is disappoint everyone who deserves to be disappointed.

To kill the idea of yourself that you despise, and still lives on in their head.

Allow me to tell you how.

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Having charisma is something that everybody wants.

That’s a no brainer.

There’s no person who wakes up and says, “oohoo, let’s be socially awkward today!”

Having charisma makes your life so much easier, it’s stupid to see it happening in real life sometimes.

Doors open as if they were waiting for you forever. You get to have more opportunities and trust from people. Admiration in some cases. Respect in the best ones.

But as I’ve realized, charisma has been sold as a vibe that can be taught through a soulless protocol: smile more often, straighten up, look people in the eyes when you’re talking to them, don’t smile too much, don’t be too serious.

None of this is wrong.

But following this type of advice without understanding who you are and what you’re capable of is a terrible idea.

There’s an inner state to reach first.

And if you don’t reach it, no matter how hard you smile or posture up, you’ll keep feeling like a social creep.

You’ll keep wondering why you’re not getting that special treatment, or why people ghost on you while you keep doing the same dumb shit.

And that takes a huge toll on our self-esteem.

We are our worst judges. The most cruel.

And when we know we aren’t competent, being charismatic becomes really fucking hard. Like an unreachable dream.

But that’s the very same reason why it’s possible to turn all that shit around and overcome most of your social anxiety and lack of confidence.

It’s very hard not to be charismatic and socially competent when you’re actually competent.

When you have a set of skills, and memorial evidence of you building them.

When you’ve put yourself out there and actually tried.

The idea is simple. Everyone just makes it way more complicated than it is.

In reality, most charismatic people understand something that’s pretty basic.

Doing cool shit makes you cool. Doing hard shit makes you hard. Doing dangerous shit makes you dangerous.

I think you get the point.

“Doing” is the keyword.

Because it’s only through “doing” that you’ll build your character; no matter how much theory you know on how to smile at the right moments.

Because it doesn’t matter how well prepared you are.

Without action, you’re never gonna be confident.

Therefore, 50% of the solution to your lack of charisma is already solved.

Now, the other 50% are by far the hardest.

Building charisma for its sake is like learning how to perform a role to entertain and attract others.

But what about you?

What are you doing for yourself? What happens when you’re home alone or when no one’s watching? After you’ve studied and learned all the tricks, but can’t yet feel good about yourself?

I’ve realized that this is where most people fuck up.

When they think they are building confidence and improving their social skills, when in reality, they’re just buying into a role that seems easier than actually being themselves.

And instead of becoming truly charismatic, they’re buying into a character that will only hide their insecurities.

The good news is you can be yourself and still be charismatic.

The bad news is that it takes a very long time for you to become it when you’re starting from scratch, and you have to figure out everything on your own.

And that’s why I’m writing this post.

To show you three ways to become competent, and therefore charismatic, without having to figure out everything else by yourself.

So let’s start with the first one.

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The self-improvement world has a big problem.

There are thousands and thousands of pieces of advice from thousands of different coaches, mentors, programs, and gurus on how to improve your life.

I’ve read many of them.

And I think that most advice is pretty OK.

Very soft, logical, mostly vanilla type of advice for 5th graders.

But honestly, I think the self-improvement world is lacking a lot of frontality and tends to soften its message to attract soft people, who want to improve their lives by doing the most minimal stuff possible.

Like deceiving people into reading James Clear’s Atomic Habits and thinking that five push-ups a day will make you jacked after years of not doing exercise is being completely delusional and naive.

I think that, especially when talking to adults, there’s some uncomfortable shit that needs to be said to one’s face.

But since many of us still carry childhood wounds and label ourselves as “chronically depressed” or “chronically anxious”, we need to be careful not to make baby adults cry.

And what pisses me off the most is that the self-help and mental health industry are making BILLIONS in expense of this soft shit.

Of your real pain.

They comply with being soft, and teach therapists to drag sessions so they can make more money.

They tell you that taking this pill will help you feel less pain, when in reality, you’re just gonna become addicted to it.

They tell you to vent, so you don’t do jack shit and keep being dependent on them.

Well, if that’s the case, allow me to be the party crasher.

Allow me to tell you the truth on why you’re probably not improving your life, despite reading 23 books on mental health, and subscribing to three different podcasts that serve you nothing but to remind you how “emotionally fragile” you are.

I don’t care about none of that shit.

I care about you being the strong-minded and capable person you truly are.

To let the real, confident you shine, and not the fake identity you created, so you can avoid discipline and commitment.

To delete any BS that fake therapists and money-hungry gurus told you to do, say, or think, just so you can give them more money.

So here are six takes that made me succeed and overcome many traumas, that will work for anybody who’s serious about changing their lives.

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I like to believe there are three different types of people in the world.

Those who give a fuck. They’re often seen as insecure, nervous, spiraling, or overcommitted.

Those who perform not giving a fuck. Often seen as indifferent, rude, silly, or arrogant.

And those who actually don’t give a fuck. Often seen as charismatic, happy, secure, and confident.

Most people think they’re in the third group. When in reality, most are in the second.

And the reason why is pretty simple.

The weird times we live in

We’re living in a weird cultural moment.

As of lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of videos circulating, showing how people in the 80s and in the 90s were more confident, real, and “nonchalant” compared to now.

And, to be honest, it makes perfect sense.

We’re secretly tired of too much online presence, too much noise, too many apps, too much information, too many people telling us how we should live by the minute.

Today, ignoring most trends and living a unique lifestyle isn’t about “aura-farming.”

It’s about keeping one’s mental sanity.

But, unfortunately, not giving a fuck became an aesthetic. A performance. Something people try to project because it looks like the answer to everything that’s exhausting about modern life.

So people try to tap into this mode, and just wait for the magical day when they actually decide to live their lives and honestly say, “fuck everybody else, I’m doing me”.

And the problem is that while they’re performing, they have no idea what they’re actually doing. And it shows.

Mark Manson wrote a whole book about this.

And the reason it sold millions of copies is visible in almost everybody you interact with.

When you get tired of pretending

I used to care A LOT about what others thought of me.

Like, A LOT.

That was something I couldn’t ignore. Even when I pretended not to care.

And that used to fucking bother me.

Deep down, I knew it was stopping me from achieving what I always wanted. Because when I wanted to focus, I was worried about what the outcome would look like instead of the actual outcome.

So, just like everybody else, I performed not giving a fuck for a very long time.

I thought if I acted unbothered, dressed a certain way, said the right things, and kept my reactions “cool”, I’d eventually become that person.

That if I forced it long enough, it would become real.

It didn’t.

Because underneath all of it, I still needed validation.

Still measured myself against other people’s opinions.

Still felt the sting every time something didn’t land the way I wanted it to.

And because of that, I spent money on material shit and time with people that are completely irrelevant to me today.

I became someone who was average, without any real spark, and constantly anxious and deep down depressed.

But as of today, I have people telling me how awesome I am. I’ve been given cards and phone numbers in case I ever needed anything, after only meeting people for 1 and a half hours at the place I work.

Girls look at me with way more interest than before. Talking with strangers is easy peasy, and I don’t sweat from my art pits and ass like I once used to.

I’m not saying this to brag.

I’m saying this because it’s very possible to turn your life around and actually be someone cool and with a nice fucking vibe.

The shift I went through didn’t come from trying harder to not care.

It came from building something I actually gave a shit about — and realizing that when you have a real mission, most of the noise becomes genuinely irrelevant.

Not because you’re suppressing it.

Because it actually stops mattering.

Why the performance always collapses

Here’s the real truth when you perform not giving a fuck: it’s built on the exact same foundation as every other performance you’ve put on in your life.

You’re still optimizing for an audience.

You’re still monitoring how you’re coming across. Instead of “they think I care too much,” it becomes “they think I don’t care enough.”

That’s the same shit. But with a different costume.

The real question is, why do most people who try not to give a fuck even fail at that? Shouldn’t it be easy? It seems effortless for those who do.

Well, here’s how it really works.

People who genuinely don’t give a fuck actually give a fuck. But only about the right things.

They have established a real relationship with outcomes — one that isn’t ego-driven or validation-seeking.

And the secret?

They don’t beat themselves up about it. They’ve made peace with the process.

People who genuinely don’t give a fuck share a few things in common.

They don’t get easily influenced by society. They don’t care how weird they look as long as they’re following their passion and their mission. They prefer to lose friends instead of gaining the wrong ones. They don’t expect shit from life, and they’re more grateful and optimistic because they learned to value what they actually have.

But getting there requires something most people aren’t willing to do.

I know that, because I faced the same hardships that any confident and charismatic person has to go through in life to become any of that.

So here are the best things I did that allowed me to become more interesting, motivated, and focused on what really matters.

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From what I’ve noticed, most genuinely happy people either have a very healthy and controlled relationship with the online and digital world, or they aren’t deeply engaged with it at all.

I’m not saying go offline. I’d be a complete hypocrite.

I’m saying incorporate the digital world into your life and not the other way around.

Most people would love to do that. But they either don’t realize how deep the problem goes, or they do but don’t know where to start.

So here’s the guide I wish I’d had at fifteen.

The one that will make you realize that most answers to your life problems aren’t online.

What you’ll get in this Guide

In Part 1, I’m gonna give you things that you need to remove from your life.

This part will help you remove all the bad habits that you carry.

You won’t have to think about them anymore, and instead, you’ll have more mental clarity, feel less anxious, and give back a lot of the bad things that the digital world has implemented in your mind without you ever realizing.

In Part 2, I’m gonna give you new strategies and tools that you can use to actively improve your focus, decision-making, and overall mental health.

These will take more effort to apply, but they work very well for me.

While subtracting bad habits it’s important, filling the void that they leave with the right actions is CRITICAL.

Most people fail in this part and go back to their old and limiting ways because they never figured out what to do after removing their bad habits.

That won’t happen after you follow this guide.

Part 1 - The Passive Reset

These are the everyday habits that I stopped doing that were massively affecting my mood, my focus, and also my overall health in every bad aspect.

They might seem small, but they’re costing you more than you think.

Before I changed this, my mornings were a continuous loop of nothingness.

I used to go to bed on my phone, waking up and reaching for it again.

If you really think about it, it felt like a long day that never ended. It felt like every day wasn’t a new beginning, but rather a boring life on loop.

This one shift alone made me want to work first thing in the morning instead of slowly poisoning my pace for the rest of the day.

If the first thing you do in the morning is scroll TikTok, check DMs, or watch shorts on YouTube, you’re allowing the algorithm to dictate what you should be doing and thinking about.

Doesn’t sound very good, right?

If anyone told you that “being distant” is cool, don’t listen to that person ever again.

You just look goofy and stupid.

Put the phone away, be present, and watch yourself become charismatic like that movie character that you admire so much.

They aren’t glued to their phones for most of the time, aren’t they?

Not only does it damage your social skills, but it also makes you seem rude, uninterested, scared, impulsive, and straight-up boring.

If you’re reaching for your phone mid-conversation because you’re uncomfortable with silence — that’s not really a phone problem.

That’s a confidence problem the phone is making worse.

Social media is not inherently evil.

The concept is fun and interesting. But the people who run it are evil for sure.

The people who designed and run it want to catch your attention as much as possible without giving anything meaningful back.

Remember, “if it’s free, you’re the product”.

Deleting Twitter (X) was by far one of the most important decisions I made in 2025.

I wasn’t even happy in there anymore. I was just addicted to seeing news from shit that was completely irrelevant to my own life, and people argue in the comment sections.

Stranger’s opinions, news about death, degeneracy, and NBA drama.

And when I realized I was losing more from watching that crap instead of gaining real knowledge, I cut it off completely.

Let me ask you something.

How do you feel about being used by people? Not good, right?

Well, you allow that to happen when you scroll and rely too much on social media to feel happy, validated, or even entertained.

Once you understand this, it becomes SO MUCH easier to avoid social media and start doing more awesome shit in real life.

Make a decision; either delete the app you’re most addicted to, or control its usage massively.

It has to be YOU who decides when you show up — not the algorithm.

Here are a few things that might help:

• Turning on grayscale; blocking certain apps/content/recommending pages through extensions for a certain period of time; turning on airplane mode while working, or simply leaving your phone in another room.

All of these have worked VERY WELL for me.

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Back in 2022, something changed my perspective about who I was.

A close relative died, and my mom got really, really sad about it. Sad to the point where I saw her cry for the first time in 21 years.

And no matter what I did or said, it didn’t seem like I was helping her.

That took a big toll on my confidence.

Because if I couldn’t support the person I love the most, when I thought I could — then what could I actually do?

That period was the first time I really asked myself who I was and what I actually wanted from life. Because up until that point, I didn’t realize I was drifting instead of building myself.

Since then, over the last four years, I drastically changed my habits, my routines, my close circle, and my beliefs to build a new identity — one I could be proud of and say was mine, and mine alone.

If I had to do it all over again, here’s how I would do it.

Grab a piece of paper, a whiteboard, or a open a Word/Google document.

Write down who you are.

The image you have of yourself.

What your friends, family, and other people think about you — what they usually say to your face, and what you’ve heard when you weren’t present.

Any data you have about your identity.

Then separate it into two groups: the things you like and the things you don’t.

Maybe you like the fact that others think you’re funny and easy to be around. But maybe you don’t like the fact that people don’t take you seriously because you’re often the goofy one who can’t stay serious for ten minutes.

All of this is important.

Because it gives you a clear picture of not only what you think about yourself, but what others think too. Because no matter how self-assured someone is, identity is massively shaped by outside beliefs and influences.

You’ll quickly notice things you’d love to change, things you’ve always liked but suppressed because of others’ opinions, and — most importantly — things you acquired from others without even realizing it.

That last category is where the real work begins.

This is your blueprint. The tip of the iceberg.

Everything that follows builds from it.

Now, let’s start building yourself up.

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There’s a moment in everyone’s life where you look around and realize that the people closest to you aren’t actually on your side.

I had that moment.

And when it hit, it hit hard.

Listening to these so-called friends led me to a place in life where I was bitter, sad, and lost.

They might have seemed reasonable on the surface, but in reality, they weren’t. Because all of them, in one way or another, made me step over my own values and beliefs, and forced me to live something other than what I truly wanted.

I eventually started to work myself out of that place, and had to confront a hard truth I’d been avoiding for years:

I needed to do a little cleanup on my friend’s list.

And so I did.

What followed wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. And what I learned from it became one of the most useful skills I’ve developed — knowing how to read people accurately, and knowing what to do with what I saw.

So here’s the guide I wish I had.

For the earlier stages, I carefully watched, heard, and questioned some of them.

I was making very small and subtle tests — noticing what they would say, what they’d agree or disagree with, and starting to make a bigger deal out of small details that most people would ignore.

Now, this might seem unhealthy. And if you think so, you’re partially right.

In the long run, if you keep overanalyzing relationships and everyone’s motives, you’ll end up crazy.

But this is a temporary phase, not a permanent state.

I don’t want you to become paranoid, I want you to study the people you hang around with for a brief period (a few weeks, a few months), like you’d study for an exam, except the exam is figuring out who you can actually trust.

During this phase, every interaction, voice tone, every joke, every intent needs to be looked at more thoroughly.

You wouldn’t drink dirty water from an untreated fountain, so why would you keep absorbing toxic energy from corrupted and fake friends?

The good news is you don’t need to stalk or do anything stupid.

Keep doing what you’ve been doing. Just pay more attention than usual.

If you become impartial towards the people around you, you’ll see things for what they are. You’ll notice how much people reveal themselves in the most obvious but also the smallest details.

And as time goes by, you’ll be able to put everything in chronological order — and that order reveals behavioral patterns. Those patterns are the best indicators of who you should trust or not.

To give you the easiest example I can: I stopped being friends with people who kept failing on their promises, over and over again.

Not because I’m rigid, but because keeping your word matters to me deeply.

I don’t mind AT ALL when people tell me they don’t have time or have other priorities. I actually appreciate their transparency.

And I highly recommend starting there.

If people don’t show transparency with you, that’s already a sign they’re not trustworthy.

The right people will reveal themselves. And so will the fake ones.

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There's a rule I've been applying every single day for the past year.

No exceptions.

Through a job I hated, then one that's even more physically demanding.

Through karate training and teaching three times a week, while also training my sister for tournaments, going to the gym, taking care of the household, and trying to have a decent social life.

And in that same year, I built almost a thousand subscribers from scratch.

No investor, no viral shortcut for the first six months, no clean and unrealistic blocks of creative time.

How is that even possible?

The honest answer is that I stopped trying to find more time, and instead, I looked forward to maximizing it.

Most people look at a schedule like mine and immediately say, ‘I don’t have time.’ And they’re right — if they’re waiting for a big clean block of hours to appear out of nowhere.

But when you apply the 70% rule consistently, you stop looking for big blocks of time and start seeing every gap as an opportunity.

When I was working that miserable job, I made sure I was maximizing my time outside of it, working towards the possibility of leaving it as soon as possible. So that meant that I needed to squeeze as much juice as possible:

Waking up two hours before work to get the most important writing done while my brain is fresh.

Posting notes, interacting on Substack, and writing down ideas during lunch break.

Study writing and learning from other creators for at least an hour as soon as I get home.

Fifteen to twenty minutes at night to prepare things for the next morning — jot down ideas, read an article, and outline something.

None of that looks glamorous. None of it feels like the hustle content you see online.

But do the math: that’s showing up every single day. That’s momentum being built, over and over again.

And those hours compound in a way that motivation spikes never will.

The rule, in practice

Here’s what 70% actually means in real life — not as a concept, but as a daily operating system.

Step by step.

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FOMO is one of those things a lot of people feel inside, but don’t want to admit, because admitting it makes you look desperate and lost.

Everyone wants to live in peace.

To feel joy.

To feel purpose.

To look like they have their lives figured out.

But very few actually get there, while most just pretend.

There’s a constant voice reminding them of what they’ve missed, what they’re missing, and what they’ll probably keep missing.

Plus, being constantly online doesn’t help. Having toxic friends doesn’t help either. Shit, do I even need to mention that bad habits don’t help?!

But here’s what nobody tells you about FOMO — it’s not really about what’s out there, but what’s fucked up inside of you.

It’s more of a mirror.

And it shows exactly what you’re ignoring with whatever you’ve got going on in your mind. Either because you can’t face it, or because life has made it too loud to hear anything else.

When your mind is clogged with problems, responsibility, and whatever the fuck is stealing your sleep at night, it’s almost impossible to picture a positive future for you.

Because you can barely deal with your present life.

And I know that feeling intimately.

Or at least, I used to know it better than I do today.

My struggles with FOMO

Growing up poor, FOMO wasn’t just a vibe or a phase.

It was my whole fucking life.

You see everyone else having fun, going on trips, and playing on the latest consoles in the market, because their parents can afford it.

Plus, you can’t attend to a lot of things. Can’t afford to show up because either it will cost you your whole family’s budget, or because you’re so ashamed of yourself, you’d rather stay at home and hide from everyone.

After a while, that exclusion starts to feel like it’s about you, and not your circumstances.

But it’s not all bad, though.

Poverty taught me something very early on that most people learn too late, if not ever.

Most people just copy each other so they can fit in. They buy shit just to tell others that they have money. They travel to certain places to make others jealous.

And once you understand that, it becomes pretty fucking clear that they’re living a life that they don’t even want.

That joy is dictated by others and not them.

And for a long time, I refused to be like that. But even I fumbled a few times and bought into the illusion everyone is living in.

I fumbled because of recurrent bad influences.

Recurrent bad environments.

Recurrent low standards.

These were the kind of things that didn’t just waste my time - they hollowed me the fuck out.

And when you’re hollow, it is much easier to look around at everyone else seemingly living fully — that’s when FOMO stops being an inconvenience and starts being a prison.

As of today, I speak as a different person.

Not because I’ve fully escaped it, as I don’t think anyone ever does completely.

But because I’ve learned to deal with that voice. The one that disrupted my mind for years.

That made me fuck up for most of my life, over and over and over again.

That led me to places where I don’t ever want to visit ever again - physically and mentally.

I’ve programmed my mind to shut it out. And I’ve never been this focused, this determined, and this clear in my life.

And the best part is that I know this is just the beginning.

Here’s what actually changed — and what I think can work for anyone willing to be honest with themselves about their FOMO problems.

My anti-FOMO rules

If you blindly follow what others do due to FOMO, you’re setting yourself up for failure.

And I was able to turn that around by following a few principles that kept me grounded and clear about the decisions I needed to take to reclaim control over my life.

So here are the rules that made me live a meaningful life and helped me to gradually dissolve FOMO.

Real friends appreciate that you own your values and have priorities.

Because it subconsciously tells that you’re confident, charismatic, reliable, happy, and many other positive attributes one can have.

But speaking bluntly, it also shows that you’re someone who’d help them if they needed assistance with anything important, and, at the same time, shows that you’re someone worth helping.

Forget all the fluffy shit and the “we gotta love people for who they are” talk. Relationships are transactional, and whoever says otherwise is immensely wrong.

I’m not calling for people to obsess over the transactional side of human relations; I’m just asking you not to neglect it.

Therefore, it’s important that you surround yourself with people who’d totally understand the fact that, sometimes, you need to decline their invitations, and they don’t take offense at you being honest.

These people don’t increase your FOMO; they help you delete it, because they let you know that it’s totally OK for everyone to walk their own path.

And more importantly, they make moments with them so cool that you won’t be thinking about being anywhere else.

One of the biggest realizations I had these last couple of years is that less is more in this matter; trust me, I’m that guy who knows a fucking ton of people, but I’d only call one or two if shit ever got serious.

Don’t focus on the quantity of friendships that you have; focus on the quality of your closest circle.

Aim for one’s actions, not one’s words.

In regard to family, this one is tougher for its very own reasons.

But let me tell you that the main reason I say the things that I say about having the right people around you is that I see people shooting themselves in the foot every day because they’re blind or constrained due to family ties.

I see people leaving their dreams behind because they’re scared of what their parents, uncle, partner, or any relative would think.

Whether it is because they still didn’t develop any sense of accountability, or because they were pressured to do certain things for their family’s sake.

I’m not saying to turn your back on your family. I’m telling you not to let your family kill your dreams.

You cannot allow their insecurities to be yours. You cannot allow their fear to be yours.

If they really love you (and I bet they do), they’d want you to live the life that you want.

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The Anti-Burnout Reset

You’ve been trying to focus like a movie montage: intense, dramatic, unsustainable.

But successful people know for a fact that most of the progress will be repetitive and mundane.

Hustling like a mad person and ignoring the obvious “chill down” signs is as bad as only doing the minimal work possible.

In the beginning, you’re excited. Christmas morning type shit.

Day 1 feels amazing.

By day 3, you’re like “okay, not that special, but let’s keep going“, just so by day 7 you’re like “damn, I have to keep doing all of that?!”

And that’s a “welcome to reality” moment for all of us.

Some people have already used this strategy and got great results! What are you waiting for?

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We must fight boredom and uncertainty until we achieve what we’re looking for.

Smart people know that this is not a race, it’s a marathon.

They don’t chase immediate and unrealistic goals. They work with the boredom that comes with it.

And they’re more afraid of burning out than slowing things down for a week.

“It is what it is” is their favorite motto — they don’t hate the game, they accept it.

Burning out has dragged me down quite a lot in my life.

Every time I’d gather motivation to improve my life, I’d drastically overpush.

And for a long time, I thought that was noble.

That I was built different.

That the exhaustion meant I was serious.

But what I eventually figured out is that “giving your all” is one of the most misused phrases in the self-improvement world.

Most of the time, it’s not giving your all — it’s chasing quick fixes and following impulses blindly, like a toddler who wants his toy by any means necessary.

It’s horrible to put everything you have into something and feel like you got nothing back.

That feeling is real and it’s brutal.

But more often than not, what burned out wasn’t your potential, but rather your approach.

Burning out isn’t sexy. It’s frustrating, it sets you back, and it makes the next attempt harder because now you’ve got the memory of failure sitting on your chest while you try to start again.

My problem was that I couldn’t stand boredom. I was that smart kid in school, but a tough one to have in your class, because I couldn’t sit still.

And that reflected once I became an adult.

The biggest take I would give someone with the same problem as me:

It’s great that you have ambition, but you need to be realistic as well. Recovering and enjoying the process is as important as the hustle.

Focusing too much on the rewards, the claps, and the compliments will make you a dopamine chaser.

And that’s seriously fucking dangerous.

Focusing on comfort and playing it safe might not be a viable option if what you want is to change your life.

But going the opposite way, and dropping everything you have for an unplanned goal, is definitely not the answer.

So here’s the middle ground that has played wonders in my case.

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Environmental Surgery: The 3 Cuts

You can’t willpower your way through a distracting environment.

Winners win because they put themselves in the best possible position to do it.

They understand there are external cues that play a huge role in our results. Extroverted people thrive in crowds and talking to people, whereas introverts love their little cozy corner so they can focus on their work.

And guess what — both can provide extremely good and beneficial results for society.

They just operate in different modes.

I haven’t been the only one using this strategy and getting results — some people have already tried it, and you can be one of them as well.

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When I talk about environment, I’m talking about the people around you, the place where you work, and the physical things you use the most.

Back in college, when I used to share a relatively small apartment with 18 other people, my headphones were my best friends whenever I needed to focus.

Because I’m kind of an extroverted guy, I had to block myself from interacting with others.

When I needed to truly focus, I’d go to the study room on the other side of the building to get away from any distractions.

The inevitable “you won’t guess what happened to me today“, “check this out“, or “hey, do you have any spare fork?” would throw me off so easily that I had no other option but to leave and block all the noise if I wanted to get things done.

When you willingly change your surroundings, you’re telling your brain that there’s something important to be done.

And those study room sessions were so productive that I researched like I never did in my entire life.

I’m not in college anymore, and the circumstances have changed. So, I had to adapt and learn new ways to not get distracted.

Plus, not only do you need to change your environment, but you also need to adapt to whatever environment you’re forced to be in.

Because this is something important that many gurus and coaches miss.

Sometimes we cannot change our environment for strong reasons – work, family reasons, religious ones, I don’t know.

But that’s not game over.

It’s simply a test of how willing we are to pursue our dreams.

And I’ve gotten some pretty good answers after years of studying and adaptation.

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This was initially on my paid “Focus Guide”, but I decided to put it on Edit for everyone who’s decided to take the next step onto building the life they wanted.

And it has worked for some people already.

You can also win. All you need to do is to join in.

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The Single-Target System

We were never meant to have this much information at the palm of our hands.

Yes, the technological events of the last three centuries have brought us luxuries that our ancestors could only dream of.

One hundred years ago, life was harder but simpler.

People faced real tragedies, like death, poverty, and scarcity, way more often.

But, in the midst of all the pain and sorrow, they had some sense of clarity that is lacking in us today.

They had better survival instincts because they had no other choice but to focus on what mattered.

The case is very different today.

It doesn’t matter if we’re working or if we’re in the bathroom taking a shit — losing focus is so normal nowadays, and our minds wander so easily because we’ve been programmed so.

Before this technological invasion of our private lives, there was no time to question “purpose” because “purpose” was pretty fucking obvious.

Provide, protect, improve.

Now, we have infinite options and zero constraints.

We’re not focused on building; we’re distracted by consuming.

Purpose and focus are merely sold to us, not built by our own will.

Only a small percentage of the population is actually living their lives, and an even smaller percentage is controlling what everybody else is doing.

They tell you to work, but not too much. They tell you to rest and enjoy your favorite shows and fast food, while making 5 or 6 figures on “passive income”. They tell you 23 different diets to lose weight. They tell you that you should go to therapy to work on your mental health, while also being super inclusive and thoughtful of others’ problems.

They want you to be directionless, a puppet they can manipulate in order to reach their goals, while crushing yours.

Because the people who have massive control over culture, politics, and the economy thrive on exploiting weak-minded people.

The world will always need ordinary and powerless people, who operate by fear and comfort, to sustain the top 0,1%.

The math is easy - you’re most likely being used without even realizing. That’s the bad news. But the good news is that there’s always a way out:

And if you don’t want to belong to that group, it’s time to work on yourself.

Today.

I’ve hit that wall and have climbed over it.

So here’s what actually worked — for me, and for the people I've studied and admire.

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