Since when did getting your nails done or not become a way to judge your finance?

Like how did we get here?

Although it is the male gender that posted this, don’t be surprised that a lot of females think in alignment with this as well

Let’s leave the financial bullying for a minute as we talk about the ones we have normalized…

• Cornrows don’t look good again — unless you wear braids/expensive wigs

• You don’t look presentable whenever you step out with your natural nails — unless you get them fixed💅

• An outing with your natural face is not IT — unless you go get a face beat

• Hair on your legs is not aesthetic — unless you go get waxed

• Your lips are boring — unless you do some lip combo here & there

• Taking pictures with your android or old iPhone is not boujee — unless you are using an iPhone 16 upwards with Snapchat filter of course

• Going to public schools is a sign that you’re not from a wealthy household and attending a private school means you are spoiled and you are not intelligent cause you pay your way through every level

Will it ever end? nah, I don’t think so.

Since the society norm now says natural is not aesthetic, not beautiful enough, maybe you should do it for you.

• Go out with cornrows if you want

• Don’t fix your nails sometimes, just ensure they are well prepped and clean

• Don’t wear makeup if you don’t want to

• Don’t hide in gatherings because you are not using the latest iPhone, use what you have to take pictures and make memories.

• Sometimes don’t fix artificial lashes, flaunt the natural one, it’s beautiful.

Don’t let your confidence and happiness depend on if you have maintenance money or not.

Selah

With love & elegance,

Lohrey 🌹

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Royalties are picky, fastidious with everything about them. They don’t speak anyhow, they don’t dress anyhow, they don’t drag their feet while walking, they don’t beg to be seen because they are the highlight.

As I began to soak myself in the consciousness of royalty, that’s when I began to make conscious effort to embrace femininity, or have you ever seen a queen who identifies as a tomboy? Exactly

They know their identity and they are unapologetic about it.

Starting with my appearance, I began to pay attention more, because you know a queen never dresses anyhow. you see, It’s a myth that you need a fat bank account before you look put together and climb the ladder of elegance. (although as time goes on, you will need that)

Here are two hacks you shouldn’t joke with, that will make you look put together:

1. Never step out with clothes that have wardrobe malfunction such as uneven stitches, a tear, bad buttons and so on.

I believe this makes an individual look tacky, so I always carefully check out my clothes before stepping out. Let it not be heard that there’s a tear somewhere that is revealing what is meant for my eyes only. That’s one of the reasons why well tailored clothes will always have my heart.

1. Never step out in rumbled clothes. This can be quite difficult for people living in certain regions of the world because of electricity availability. However, you can always do either of these things:

• have a couple of “go to” outfits that don’t require ironing.

• always plan your outfits ahead of the outing/event, so you can iron beforehand.

In conclusion, have you ever pictured what kings look like? Study one or two kings around and you’d see how gracious they dress.

Now, take it a bit further. God is royalty and you are His child. maybe to an extent, you’d understand how deep this issue is, you need to take your appearance seriously.

YOU ARE ROYALTY 👸

Dress like it

Act like it

Speak as thus

With love & elegance,

Lohrey 🌹

In Omah’s words, “Semiloore is so feminine”. I giggled as I read those words via the green app.

If he had known me five to six years ago, he wouldn’t have said that

You see, I wasn’t always like this, I wasn't always this girly with my outfits. As a result of how I struggled with my body, I wore baggy clothes a lot and I tried to hide; since my curves were not like other girls I saw around, I never felt I belonged there.

Fast forward to 2025, I decided that enough is enough. I don't want to be a wife whose wardrobe will look similar to her husband's because of how many masculine clothes she has . I want him to see me as a pretty, girly girl, not his fellow man.

Having made this decision, I decided to take baby steps to transition from being a tomboy to a girly girl - not a casual one, but an elegant, soft one to be precise.

One of the things I started with was BAGS. I started carrying bags anytime I stepped out.

Cafeteria that was 20 minutes away

Evening chapel that was just 7 minutes away and would last for just an hour

The location/time frame I’d spend outside didn’t matter - the outfit with a nice bag was a non-negotiable. You can even carry out this experiment yourself. Get dressed with and without a bag, look in the mirror, then, rate yourself .

Your outfit with a nice handbag will always look better than when you don’t carry one.

When I made the decision to always carry a handbag, I didn't have a lot of them, so I told God about it. It was almost as a whisper, a casual talk. I wanted to change my wardrobe to a feminine one, have more bags, shoes, rings, bracelets and all.

Then, guess what?

I don't even know how, but I started getting an influx of these things as gifts. I was perplexed, like what?? God, you really listen?!

Are you serious?

You are so invested in this journey, looks like it has been in your must-do list for me. The change was really significant and God backed me up.

Infact, I spoke to my friend about it. Take a look at the screenshot below, this was late last year.

This newsletter is not only about how bags are essential for ladies, but how God is such a girls’ dad. We are being anxious for nothing when infact He already has everything figured out, sorted out. No request is insignificant for Him.

If Abba (dad) can take his time to dress the lilies of the field, how much more you, His look-alike or have you forgotten that you were created in his image?

This is not just about your appearance but other aspects of your life as well.

• Marriage

• Academics

• Career

• Finance

• Friendship

• Relationship

God is interested. Just take the matter to Him in faith.

With love and elegance,

Lohrey.

First sip, I swallowed it, suspicious of nothing, but the second sip? I spat it out in a millisecond. I can't explain it in a poetic way, so in simple words, it tasted like chemicals. It didn't taste/smell healthy at all, so I couldn't swallow it.

You see, one of the things every human should be grateful for is how their five senses pick up things fast. For example: how fast two of mine picked up the unpleasant smell and taste of water.

After a while this happened, something dropped in my spirit...

The way we have sense organs physically, that's how we have senses spiritually.

Have you ever heard these prayers?

That our eyes are opened to see

Our ears are opened to ear

Our hearts are ready to receive

THE SENSES THAT GIVE BIRTH TO DISCERNMENT

You see, I love God's sense of humor cause using physical things to explain spiritual things is truly beautiful.

That's why I don't really believe in coincidence cause divine orchestration happens more than you think.

The spiritual truly controls the physical. Let me add this as well: in this season ⬇️

the way you pay attention to your environment, how you are always on guard concerning anything fishy, that's how you should be on guard spiritually as well.

Don't joke with spiritual things sweetheart.

With love & elegance,

Lohrey.

Some minutes later, a woman I guess she'd be in her sixties walked in with two big buckets of flour (elubo)

The man gave his price - N4,000

“What are you saying, let me give you N2,000” she said

The man disagreed, diesel price is not cheap, it hasn't reduced. There was back and forth in bargaining. The highest the woman wanted to go was N2,500.

I said a silent prayer, I hope this man won't agree to get cheated like this.

Then, the answer came…

He refused blatantly claiming he'd run at a loss if he accepts such an offer. The woman didn't back down as well, she carried her stuff and said “i will go and grind it somewhere else”

In this part of the world, I am familiar with the bargaining concept, but that particular scene - looked like there were sprinkles of stinginess from her.

Some minutes later, I saw her again. She wanted to buy spices. The vendor said N450, but she insisted on N400. The vendor said NO and she left

In my mind, it's just N50

[Well, maybe not “just” cause the accumulation of hundreds of that denomination could be something tangible — right¿]

Anyways, back to the reason I'm writing to you. In a nation that bargaining is a normal concept to us as a people, I think people don't know where to draw the line.

Like a piece of rubber band being overstretched.

Is the vendor overcharging me?

Am I being inconsiderate to reduce the price this low?

Because no matter the lens you look at these things through, a party suffers (sometimes)- the vendor or the customer.

But what if there's a form of regulation?

Just like it's done in developed countries. Goods have a price range depending on the supermarket, the state, the brand.

Maybe that would be fair or not…

Regardless, my 1 star rated task has to be bargaining. I just want a good price without the shalaye (explanation).

Or wait…

Is it that I haven't touched enough poverty wrecking wealth that this bothers me¿

Well, I'm just thinking out loud as usual.

With love & elegance,

Lohrey 🌹

Searched my emails , WhatsApp DMs

Racked my brain for minutes

Asked my mom…

Panicked for the aspect of my life that is dependent on it. Sleep became an allergy I dare not get in contact with. My mind raced in a strange way.

After multiple fruitless attempts, I remember I have an unfair advantage

So, I whisper to Him, “Holyspirit, please help me. Lead me to where this thing is”

Struggling between rest and unrest, I check WhatsApp for the upteenth time, and the reminder comes like a whisper “why don't you check xyz group chat”

Like a toddler fleeing from the sight of a reptile, I run to the said group chat

Right there, I see it, sitting pretty and secure, the document I have been looking for - for 48 hours.

It was there all day as I panicked and searched

If only I had told the Holy Spirit about it earlier, I would have found it earlier without losing sleep and peace

The “thank you Lord” afterwards was loud.

The peace was palpable.

This is a gentle aggressive reminder that you have an unfair advantage, so use it everyday, all day.

With love and elegance,

Lohrey 🌹

Femi Otedola is one of the richest men in Africa. One of his daughters is Temi Otedola, the wife of another rich man, Eazi.

Now imagine this:

you would love to collaborate with Femi Otedola’s company on a project, but you claim that you don’t know how to approach him.

So you just talk to Temi casually about it and he links you up with her dad. In less than a week, an appointment is set and the contract is signed. Infact, the meetup was so casual yet intimate that it happened in their family house 🏡

Now you go on a podcast show and you are asked to discuss how you signed a multi million contract with Otedola’s company. Your response is casual “i told my friend about it, she told her dad and we set up a meeting. That’s it. Deal was done within an hour”

That’s a rare privilege that even the 1% of the 1% can hardly get access to.

That’s a rare privilege that you are casual about, in other words, you commonized a weapon. This privilege is not a commodity. Millions, dare I say, billions of people don't have such privilege.

DO you understand this now?

When you have access to something really important and you treat it like it is nothing - that's an example of “you commonize a weapon” (something rare, that can be used for more). The art of ingratitude. A sign of foolery.

Now, as a Christian, how do you commonize a weapon?

Thank you Jesus for today.

Thank you Jesus for everything.

Then, you swiftly move to your prayer request.

Sounds familiar?

Church member: I want to say thank you Jesus for my life, for my family, for good health.

You in the congregation: and? Please continue. Don't tell me that's all your testimony.

It feels like it's not testimony enough because it's not side by side with something negative.

Another example: thank you Jesus for safe journey is not a good enough testimony until it is “thank you Jesus for safe journey, for saving me from kidnappers as I traveled yesterday”.

If negativity is not attached to it, then it's not enough to be thankful for.

This is the art of commonizing the weapon of thanksgiving.

What we don't know as Christians is that honor to God which involves praise, worship, thanksgiving and everything in-between is a weapon that the enemy can not stand. Without a single word of prayer, you can win battles when you use the weapon of praise.

It's so much of a weapon that in the Bible, when the Israelites wanted to conquer the walls of Jericho, God instructed Joshua that they should go round the wall for 7 days.

Have you heard the song “my worship is my weapon, this is how I win my battles”. It's not just a song, it's a deep revelation of what worship can do.

And when you want to thank God, don't do it lazily.

Not “thank you for everything” then move on to ask him about your wants. No! Instead count your blessings

Thank you Jesus for the gift of salvation

Thank you Jesus for helping me pass my exams

Thank you Jesus for the promotion at work

Thank you Jesus for healing me of that headache

Thank you Jesus for each of my siblings

Thank you Jesus for my parents

I am still learning how to use this powerful weapon well - the weapon of honor, thanksgiving, praise and worship.

There is another one, a shout of praise. You are not necessarily saying anything, you are just shouting for God.

An example is my church's own, Boooooyah!

I hope the Holy Spirit will teach you how to do the same and we won't take it for granted.

Again,

Thou shall not commonize what you should weaponize.

Btw, the idea of this phase is from DDK and AFL.

Selah

With love & light 💡

Lohrey

It started with a post I saw on Instagram. If my memory serves me well, that was Dunsin Oyekan talking. He said if the names you call God while praying are still the most common ones, then you still have a long way to go. (paraphrased words)

I got attacked, not gonna lie, so you probably feel attacked as well, but here is the truth…

The deeper your intimacy with Abba, the more he begins to show you certain things, he begins to reveal uncommon things to you, you begin to have a deeper understanding of what sounds mundane to men.

Now, let me give you an example…

I was in 100 level when I got the gift of speaking in tongues. It happened during a Holy Ghost service I attended, pastor Adeboye was the one praying.

For that night and even months before then, my prayer point was precise: I WANT TO BE ABLE TO PRAY IN TONGUES, give me this gift, oh Lord.

And ohh yes, he gave me that night.

Now, back to 100 level. Because I didn't want to lose the gift of speaking in tongues, I had a routine. I would wake up around 3am/4am and pray in tongues for minutes. Just tongues.

I wasn't well articulate and the words I repeated for minutes were almost the same.

For example: let's say the interpretation of my tongues was “blessed be the Lord”. It means that was the only thing I repeated over and over. The reason was simple: I was still a child at it.

I kept with it for a while and gradually, my tongues began to change. They sounded longer, different, more mature.

As I carried out my routine one day, I noticed something strange. I began to SING IN TONGUES. Some people know it as CHANTS.

“I almost shut my mouth immediately. What are you doing, Semiloore?” I said to myself. I was terrified. “Is this not for great ministers like Victoria Orenze?” I continued to whisper to myself as doubt embraced me. Simultaneously, I remembered some teachings I've heard about praying in tongues, that a lying spirit can make you think you are saying gibberish, hence shut you up. Don't listen, just continue.

So, I did, I continued. As I listened to a chant on YouTube, I sang in tongues as well.

Now, have you ever heard someone speak in tongues beside you and it sounds as if they are vibrating? That you have goosebumps almost immediately, that you are propelled to pray more fervently.

Yeah, you cannot compare the depth of their tongues to that of a baby in Christ.

You see, the time you spend in fellowship with God matters, the result is seen in your discernment, dreams/vision, interpretation of your dreams/vision, understanding of the word of God etc

Just like I had to stay consistent in praying in tongues for a while before I was able to sing in tongues (chant) one day. That is how God operates. For you to touch certain dimensions, you have to tarry for long in his presence. Some can take months, years or even decades. I have made peace with this.

Also, a dimension can take you months to attain while it will take another person years. This is because of another factor called GRACE. He bestows certain Grace upon people without them asking for it. I have also made peace with this as well.

Now let me tell you something you have probably heard a million times in the past. This is the same principle that works in the secular world - your academics, finance, career, profession.

Look at me, it is not easy, but life is like the jungle. Only the strongest, toughest, fastest, smartest survives.

In the words of a great philosopher, survival of the fittest.

Selah

With love and elegance,

Lohrey.

Those were the exact words of a testifier earlier today in church, and that didn't sit right with me.

The highlight of her testimony was that God saved her from poison. The drink in her hotel room was poisoned and God made her observant enough to notice and of course, not drink it.

Sooo, dear reader.. did we need the extra details of how much she spent in that hotel per night, how long she stayed and what not?

I trust she wasn't trying to brag or nothing, she just wanted to be detailed enough - we stan an African storytelling mother.

However, this isn't the first time I’d notice this during “testimony time” in church and that brings me to this question “when do we draw the line?”

I'm curious as well, cause I dont know mi lady/gentleman

I scrolled through Instagram the other day and I saw a woman who had a picture of herself and husband and the caption screamed “my husband called me one day and said he was struggling with p🌽rn - oh, this was when they were still courting though”.

Although I have forgotten the details of the post, one thing is certain - the husband agreed to that information being out in public. You could consider that as over sharing as well, and it brings me to the same question for the upteenth time, when do we draw the line?

Cause personally, I don't know when to draw the line yet. This makes me overthink almost every content. It makes me scroll past content because I don’t want to comment wrongly.

While we figure out this privacy vs over sharing shenanigans together, here are FOUR things I keep in mind though:

1. I run through content in my head first, I play out the scenarios and I filter words that sound like i’m over explaining

2. If you remove some words/sentences/paragraphs and the whole story still makes sense, then they don't belong to the story. In writing, it’s called filler words, so just take them off.

3. I cross-check my content with my value as a person. As someone who is staying away from curse words offline, I avoid them online as well. This is relative to my pictures as well. I don't post certain pictures and certain angles of my house, although they are decent, my boundary says NO.

4. PRAY for discernment. Oh, you think I won't add this? More than what you are seeing, life is spiritual and we have to deal with it in partnership with THE DEITY. The one I call ORANMONISEFAYATI

IN conclusion, I need you to know that your office in the kingdom or your niche as a person will greatly determine what kind of content you post as well. It will determine what is over sharing, undersharing OR normal.

This means what is over sharing to you might not be considered over sharing to me and vice versa.

For example, there's a woman online called Doreen, she has a rehabilitation center for prostitutes. Because of this calling, she is unhinged when it comes to s*x, c🌽rn and the likes. Infact, she talks about her past so well, the things she used to struggle with and how she broke free.

For someone like this, her stories inspire those who are struggling with addiction and the rest. Although it might sound like she's oversharing, but it makes sense because it is in alignment with her purpose/calling. Plus, she has finally healed and she is free drom those shackles. This means she's not speaking or creating content from a place of pain.

This also means you shouldn't share your deepest fear, worry and struggles during a battle, you share it after you have won it, after you have healed. You don't talk in the moment you are bleeding, you do it after healing as occurred and you are certain.

Kapish¿

Do you understand me¿

Now, go forth and overshare no more cause grace is made available for you to keep mute when necessary.

With love & caution,

Lohrey.

Oh yeah, you’re probably confused so let me break it down

As I scrolled through substack some days ago, I saw a particular post that piqued my curiosity

A young lady said “it has been 100 days of embracing her natural hair as she has thrown any every ponytail she owned”

I liked the post in nanoseconds. I love it for that young lady.

Also, in that instance, I realized something…

I wasn't jealous

I didn't try to imagine myself in her shoes

I didn't try to compare her hair length with mine

…and hey, i’d tell you WHY

I am a young lady who enjoys exploring with her beautiful hair

Sometimes I chop it all off and become a bald queen

Other things I travel to the past and embrace the style of our grandmothers - Jerry curl

Or my high school style - big chops

Hmm, or the modern style - braids

I get bored of the same style if extended over a long period of time , so I change as often as you can imagine

In this current phase, I am exploring cornrows & wigs and boy oh boy, I love it

Plus my friends are indulging me

So I can dare say you can't catch me feeling insecure about my hairstyle per time cause trust me I chose it with certainty/clarity.

Can you picture that level of confidence? The confidence that screams “this is what I want for myself, regardless of the trend or what the society says about it”, but here is the catch,I was not always like this..

In fact I hated low cut when I was in high school, I wanted to braid my hair like other girls sooo bad. But, here I am now, my priorities have changed, my style has evolved over the years.

Although, I can't pinpoint the situation that made me explorative with my hair interest.

MAN, I LOVE THIS THING CALLED GROWTH SO MUCH¡

Just the way the certainty about my hair is as obvious as a house that has been set upon a hill, that's how I want my self confidence to be

I want to indulge myself in things just because I want them, NOT because the society says so.

I want to beat myself up for certain shortcomings because I have set certain standards for myself, NOT because I saw a random stranger's post and I feel behind.

Let my choice of friends and life partner be as a result of my standards, values, conviction and beliefs not because of how aesthetic it'd look on social media

This is the type of self-confidence I am in the process of building - not just for me, but for the sake of motherhood

Cause I will hand over these lessons and more to my offspring

With love and elegance,

Lohrey…

Oh before you close this page, would you patiently affirm with me

My children are blessed

My children will serve the Lord

They will know God at a young age

The will not be distracted by the things of this world 🌎

Again, my offsprings are blessed and they shall be a testament that God is real

It's so strong that I stagger from the effect

It's the fourth month in 2026 and I've not ticked off any financial goal - not even a learning/educational goal

I wanted to get good at a skill, but heck i’m not even 10% into it yet

With everyday passing, I feel stagnant

Like the world is moving so fast, yet laziness has crippled me to a spot, with blindfolds to my eyes and my hands tied to the back

But think about it with me, how do you measure success?

Cause right now, in this phase, in this moment, I'm measuring success based on how many clients I've worked with, the skills I've stacked, how many hours I've prayed and above all, how many zeros are in my bank account

I know that He who sits in Heaven laughs at this mundane, pagan, ingrate -like definition.

Now, a little backstory

I'm still student and for the last 3 months, I've been focusing on school - nothing more. I do some little tasks here and there, but nothing serious. Nothing crazy enough to keep me on my toes, awake - just the way I like it.

As a result of this, I feel stagnant. Because everywhere I turn to, someone is launching a new business, celebrating one year of business launch, launching a book, or just signed a big contract.

But here I am, focusing on school, studying, writing exams and through the help of the Almighty, acing them.

The ingrate part of me is saying “that's not enough, that's nothing. Your mates are making money while they're in school as well. yada yada kudikudi”

But would you blame me? The power of social media.

The whisper is getting louder day by day

Although the whisper is quite loud, I am trying to make my conviction louder and that is…

there is time for everything. for this phase, stacking them certificates and studying hard is the goal and my priority. i shall stay focused and do it well. i shall not feel guilt for resting up in this season as well

In case you are in the medical line like me, I see you and I'm rooting for you. Your course is not a walk in the park, but guess what? You're tough, strong and formidable!

You can do this, sweetheart

With love & elegance,

Lohrey 🌹

What if we were not friends? Whose bed would she have laid on that night (before heading to the medical center)? Who would have noticed that her condition deteriorated and made the decision to drag her to med? Sure, she has other friends, but in that instant, I was closer in proximity to her. I was the one who she chose to reach out to. Our rooms are just 6 rooms apart.

Quick side note: I believe God ate with how he orchestrated our choice of rooms. It's easy for me to always walk to her room and vice versa. I didn't pray for it, but ofc, His plans are of good and not of what?..

I remember during my professional exams as well, she’d come to my room so we could study together. Some information I missed, she mentioned.

However, this wasn't how I planned my life

I had a goal in 12 grade that extended till my first year in uni, it was “don’t have friends”. I wanted to be the mysterious girl who walked alone, never mingled with people, studied hard, aced tests and exams, and graduated.

But somehow, things changed with her. The first time I had a proper conversation with her was in 200L during our clinical posting. We were in the same room with two other girls. Although we were in the same class, we were pretty much strangers, but the clinical posting made us bond a bit.

Then, I started carpooling with her sometimes during our short break home. I'd say our bond grew stronger before our first professional exam. We were together, slept on the same bed, burned midnight candles together and got exam anxiety together.

Recently, l wrote another exam and something I’d call spiritual alignment happened.

We were casually walking to the exam center and I told her “let's revise, tell me what you know”. Then, she started. She spoke extensively on placenta and she answered my questions.

I got tired of reading cause I lacked direction on what next to read. Anyways, I was part of the first set to enter for my CAOSCE and guess what? I was asked to speak on placenta, types, dysfunction, management and all. Lo and behold, what she told me helped me greatly.

For this act and many more, I'm publicly saying “Adebobola, thank you. Thank you for doing nursing with me. Thank you for carrying me along in places I've slacked”.

I know we still have our flaws, but emm,this phase got a bit easier cause we got each other, yeah?

Again, thank you my escape albino.

So dear reader, whether in this phase or your next, I hope you don't listen to the lies of the society that whispers “don't have friends” cause you can't walk the corridors of life and climb the ladder of success without friends.

Or I dare call them the gift of men. Life is beautiful with them in it.

To more hangouts & aced exams, RN. RM. Adebobola

your friend, Oluwasemiloore.

Minding my business

Complimenting people while cracking others up

There was unrest in my spirit. I had the urge to pray for him, to write to him.

So, with my little understanding, I decided to start praying for him . I remember I prayed specifically for strength, that God helps his spirit, that be doesn’t go weary of serving God, trusting Him and walking according to His will.

I didn’t understand why, but I felt he was going through a really rough phase and God just needed me to speak over his life and consistency over the things of the kingdom.

At the time it happened, it felt cringe. I haven't met him, yet I am already praying for him, loving up on him and obsessing over the healthy conversations we'd have in future.

Yes, I'm talking about my future husband.

I write love letters to him. I have a diary for him. I pray and fast for him.

Even though I am still learning how to stay consistent with this particular assignment, I still want to share it with you.

You see, prayer is like a reservoir, you don't necessarily need it now before you fill it up. Fill it up now cause you will need the content in future.

So yeah, that's what I wanted to share with you today.

It's not too early to start, neither is it too late to begin. We stay prayed up, so that during the days of adversity, our strength won't be small.

ALSO,

As you're praying for your future husband, work on yourself as well. God will not hand you over to his son if you are not well behaved. His sons are gems and He won't hand them to swines.

Till I write to you again,

Stay elegant and confident,

Lohrey 🌹

I remember crying from class to the bus stop till I got home at past 10 pm cause I got a B grade (85/100)

Throughout my years in secondary school/high school, I never knew my grades off hand and the reason was as loud as the waves of the ocean 🌊

As long as it's not a straight A result, I don't want to know about it

If it's not a 5.0 GPA, then it's average and I'd beat myself up for it

Anything less than (95-100/100), then I'm not academically smart

I can't remember if I've ever called myself “school smart”

For every question in my niche/field of study that I get wrong, I cry internally & my chest tightens

I can feel blood trickle down the organs inferior to my heart

Every “weldone” is a reminder that I am basking in the Mud of Mediocrity and laziness

After crossing 5 oceans and 7 continents, I finally know the name and it is spelt as PERFECTIONISM

I had never thought that this 13 letter word would be in the same sentence with my name, but here we are

This isn't the loud perfectionism. It's not the one you are used to.

It's subtle, it walks up to you everyday while you prepare for those examss

It whispers “you're dumb¡” anytime you get a question wrong

It's like a shield surrounding you - hard to break free

can you relate to this as well¿ Well, you probably never thought about it but this “syndrome" is called academic perfectionism

I would have given you tips to break free from this prison, but heyy we will be fine - i guess

And if I find a solution to my perfectionism, I will write to you again, but for now? I hope you survive thrive

With elegance & confidence,

Lohrey🌹

Maybe the sleep would miraculously wipe it all off, or the news I got from school will suddenly be reversed.

However, if wishes were horses, they said.

Two hours after my second nap for the day, the feelings remained the same, so I had a conversation with my soul, spirit, and mind; let’s listen to gospel music.

Lets ignore this wave of sadness and fellowship with Father. Luckily for me, my roommate started blasting spirit filled songs through her speaker 🔊

Some minutes later, there was a subtle whisper in my spirit, it says, “you watched the likes of [my friends] Anne, Christinah, Bisola, Darasimi, Casmir and co. scale through this phase of nursing”.

There were days they were drained physically, mentally, & financially, but God held them, even when it didn't look like it.

That was when it clicked - I have a track record. Just like God told the Israelites to look up to Abraham. Abraham was the statue of “an ocean of possibilities & blessings” they needed to stir up their faith.

Yes, think about Abraham, your ancestor, and Sarah, who gave birth to your nation. Abraham was only one man when I called him. But when I blessed him, he became a great nation.”

Isaiah 51:2

From a mere man to one who birthed Nations. You need to read the above paragraphs thrice for it to sink in.

I have been using this technique since I was in 100 level. Nursing was scary to me, but whenever the thought crossed my mind, I’d remind myself that if my mom who is a midwife and nurse, my sister - a cardio thoracic nurse and the remaining 5 nurses in my family can do it, then this whole nursing school will be in a walk in the park for me.

and blessed be the God of David, for I'm thriving

I trust God in me because I am able to lift my eyes to see those who have gone ahead of me and have worn the belt of excellence.

This is not just about nursing, it's about your destiny, purpose as well. If you already know the set of people God has called you to serve & raise, then go and look for men in that area, sit down and learnnn from them.

This is another way you can build your muscle of confidence as a lady. There is someone ahead of you with that gift you have, go and become their protégé.

For impossibility is a strange word in this kingdom, it doesn't exist

With confidence & elegance,

Lohrey

PS: you should share this to a lady that will be blessed by the words of this 💌

When I was in 200L or so, I didn't have any footwear I could wear out, you know, maybe you want to quickly run errands or go to evening chapel. 💒

i didn’t own a fancy one.

when it was time for me to finally get one for myself, I bought slides and I will tell you why.

I wasn’t a girly girl. I was your baggy, all black, low cut, bouncing while walking girl.

all those girly girl thingy¿ durh, miss me on those.

I was a sneakers or high heels babe. i couldn’t wear footwears that were flat, so my best bet was slides

well, my slides got spoilt within a semester or so, cause I wore it everywhere and on anything. after it spoilt, I needed a replacement, so I got a cheap footwear in the market during the festive period.

i liked that footwear too much! i liked it because the heels were a bit high as well, that lasted for semesters until I realized the sole was coming apart. Yup👍

it looked good from the surface but the sole was pleading for mercy like a chicken about to get slaughtered for christmas.

it was also during this period I saw a particular type of footwear from my roommates and boom, I started craving it.

it's really popular though

i couldn't get it in school, and even when I went home for holiday. i’m in a completely different state now, and I was able to get it two days ago after multiple attempts.

so yessss, I got my first big girly girl purchase. it's being a journey truly - embracing a girly girl lifestyle.

a lifestyle that's making me love my body .

a lifestyle that's making me love the color pink

a lifestyle that's making me say “let's go on a solo date”, “let's fix our nails" , “let's wear bold colors “

a part of this journey is about how healthy, true femininity works. how royal, elegant women speak and behave. I still love me a masculine outfit sometimes, but I don’t want it to be the order of the day.

i don't want to go on a date with my man and I look like a fellow man. i don't want to be clueless when it comes to taking care of my girls and making their hair

well, let me share other girly girl purchases I've made in the last 4/5 months

• I started doing lip combo and I invested in a lot of colorful lip liners

• I bought a PINK top

• I started wearing sandals with joy

• I started enjoying wearing girly outfits to class

• I started considering buying hair accessories and maybe a wig

• I started wearing girly hairstyles - I have a bucket list of braids I want to try out

ooou, I have so many firstss and I love it for myself, so stay tuned as I continue to share my journey on femininity, sexual purity, elegance and confidence - everything that makes you and I powerful & global queens 💆‍♀️

so yes, when others are sharing their first car purchase, apartment or expensive wig, I'm sharing my first (official) girly footwear.

so can you see that noone makes the rules now¿ whether the purchase is 6 figures or 4 figures, a win is a win.

with confidence & elegance

Lohrey 💐

for two days straight, I spoke about how “who you get counsel from” (the vessel) and “the counsel” (the content) is important

it is possible for you to get these two things right, yet you will still wallow in low self esteem and mediocrity. the reason might not be far fetched and I want to tell you how

…using Queen Esther as an example

When the king wanted to marry another wife and he asked for fair, young, virgin girls to compete - around the nation.

now, this is my opinion

Esther was probably scared and had low confidence because she was an orphan. She wouldn't have thought that someone like her could compete with other young girls around the nation, but with the help of his uncle Mordecai, she decided to go for it

I'm sure it would have taken a lot of convinction before she finally accepted it. apart from that, Mordecai instructed her not to reveal her tribe - Jew and she did just that.

The reason why she was able to listen to the counsel from her uncle js because she had a fleshy heart

Imagine this..

Can you prick a stone? No

but can you prick your skin right now and feel it? Yes

Exactly 💯

If you want to build your muscle of confidence as a queen, you must have a fleshy heart. a heart that can listen and pay attention to the counsel from the wise

you will go far if you ask for a fleshy heart compared to that of a stony heart

I'm rooting for you

It's possible

with elegance & confidence,

Lohrey. 💐

As a result of Memucan’s advice to the king, Queen Vashti’s royal estate was taken from her and a letter was sent to every household in the nation.

I spoke about how important counsel is, because whether you like it or not, you make decisions almost every second daily and major determinants of these decisions are what you listen to and see.

As time goes on, they compound and affect what you do as an individual

Now, this is part 2, since the last one spoke about counsel, today is about the “Who you get the counsel from”

Wisdom can come out of the mouth of a fool once in a blue moon, but it can never be frequent.

Yesterday, I was reading The Richest Man in Babylon and something stood out to me

After Arklan was taught by the old man, how to be wealthy. He was asked to save a part of his income for 12 months before investing it. After he had saved for 12 months, he decided to seek counsel from a brick man. The brick man told him that he'd help him buy gold (jewelry) that he could re sell and make profit

At the end of the day, the pieces the brick man bought were fake. Just like that, Arklan’s 12 months of savings got wasted.

So, my Queen, as much as you are in search of great counsel - wisdom, it is more paramount that you seek it from a mentor who has the track record of wisdom & values that align with yours.

Pray that God points you to the right men, the right circle.

I'm rooting for you.

With elegance & confidence,

Lohrey💐

Missed day 3 which is part 1 of this series? Here 👇

https://filteredtattle.substack.com/p/who-is-your-memucan?r=3u1tzg

Although I tried to made my hair once during those times, I did the popular “ajakolo kolo” but it didn't spend up to 5 working days on my head

Cause I felt someone with a knife was over by my head all night and they kept slicing some parts of my scalp

Then, 12 grade came, I would be in a class where everyone had braids or wigs on

I couldn't wait to start wearing braids, plus, I felt I looked hideous without it. infact, it was one of the reasons I didn't attend my graduation 🎓 ceremony in high school.

I was mistaken for a guy multiple times. There was a day my aunty corrected a man twice or more , yet he kept using “He & His” for me. I just gave up. Whatever you think, man - do you!

Maybe it's not entirely their fault, cause I don't wear earrings as well, and even as a child, I was called a boy

People said I looked like one.

Anyways, University came…

For the first few years, I continued cutting my hair. On some occasions, I craved braids like other girls.

When I finally tried it, the pain wasn't from here, my scalp would turn red and bleed sometimes. The stress of sitting down for long hours, the financial commitment of buying extensions, then the stress of taking it off after weeks or months cause it's now old.

I'm just a girl, so I decided to find an alternative. At first, it was kinky. It could last me throughout a semester and it looked good with the way I dressed - not so girly.

Then, I cut it, made it again, cut it. I wanted to keep cutting it till I graduate, but on a second thought, i wanted to explore more girly girl styles. I didn't want to spend the last days at Falcon school with low cut. I needed to be creative with it, that I won't need to survive on braids for years, with my sensitive scalp and 4C hair

That's show I stumbled on Jerry Curls. Arghh, one of my best decisions. In-between Jerry Curls, I did cornrows and even waist long braids (once). Then, I craved a different look so I bought a ponytail - did that as well.

I'm back to my Jerry curls now but I'm getting bored of it again. Although I plan on keeping it for the next 5-6 months, I would still try other styles in-between and for the rest of the year - more ponytail, cornrows, braids, then wigs.

Maybe, maybe not, I'd go back to my “almost bald” low cut in December or wait till next year 🤭

While some might think their quick to bleed, sensitive scalp is a disadvantage to them, I've found a way to work around mine and I love it soo much.

It gives me a different look for every season and makes me stand out. Oh, I forgot to add that it's a good way to start conversations.

Maybe that thing isn't really a disadvantage, you just have to find your way around it.

Gracias 🥰

With elegance and confidence,

Lohrey 💐

After Queen Vashti ignored the King's order, he became furious.

He wanted someone to rant to, to pour his heart into; then, he remembered he had the wise men.

He decided to call them to share his burden with them and to seek for counsel "what should he do next?” Then, Memucan stood up and suggested that she should be dethroned - that her royal estate be stripped off her. A memo should also be released to every household in the nation, "how the king wanted a replacement with a fair, young, virgin lady”.

That is the power of counsel. Just few words from the King's “wise man”, and the life of a woman turned upside down.

Now, how is this related to building your Muscle of Confidence you might ask…

Well, grab a chair and read carefully for the words in the next couple of paragraphs is light 🕯️

As a lady Queen, you must understand that you can't do life alone. You cant step up that ladder of success by yourself. You can't walk into nations alone.

I hear you whisper that all you need is God, but heyy, you lie.

Yes, you need God and as a matter of fact, he's the real deal, but I should love to break it down to you that you need men as well. You need the gift of men, the counsel and knowledge of men.

That in order to build your muscle of confidence, you need to pray for wise counsel. Wise counsel can come from God directly and He can indirectly use men.

You see, confidence is not just about lack of fear physically, its more than that…

For example, you want to launch your first book and you are too scared to make it happen, if there is availability of wise counsel, it can walk you through the launch.

After the launch of one book, you would have been armed with the confidence and certainty to launch another, then another, then another.

Do you understand why wise counsel is important as a queen now?

ACTION PLAN

make it your prayer point henceforth that “God, give me access to wise counsel. Help me to be discerning enough to know wise counsel and to disregard foolish ones”

affirm with me 👇

By my God, I discern the wisdom of God from the foolishness of mere men.

With confidence & elegance,

Lohrey