Thanks for reading. If you like this work, a ❤️ or comment goes a long way in helping it grow.

Subscribe now

We are oversaturated with information, but being informed matters. Living well (aka staying sane!) means knowing the difference between signal and noise—so I hit unsubscribe...a lot. Welcome to my Notes to Self, for you: A hodgepodge series of my unfiltered thoughts on the current topics foremost on my mind; the ones that survived the unsubscribe button 🙂

Off-hand comments

Sometimes it’s the most unexpected off-hand comments from people that live rent-free in the mind. One of those comments—stated so casually by the person they probably don’t even remember!—came from a friend who works at an AI hyperscaler (one of the biggest tech companies in the world that is leading the Artificial Intelligence charge.) At the beginning of this year, she predicted that by the end of summer it would be impossible to avoid AI, even for non-tech people like myself.

I have thought about that prediction ever since, and she was right. We are nearing the end of summer 2026 and the organizations in my life are formally adopting AI, implementing AI policies, and training us on how to use it. I have progressed from using ChatGPT for personal research and meal planning to building Claude skills that automate personal admin tasks, social media content creation, and other multistep activities—and I know that that is barely scratching the surface of its capabilities.

Bored already

AI is the most over-discussed subject right now. I really hesitated writing about it again. Can we please change the subject?

At the same time, it’s hard not to talk about AI. Specifically, what we are not talking about enough: How AI is changing each of us, at the individual and collective level. I feel it. Do you?

We’ve all heard the usual talking points: AI will make our work and lives easier and more productive, while simultaneously disrupting the labor force; AI will optimize our lives beyond our wildest imaginations, it will crack open an abundance of time to do the things that matter most to us. We’ve heard it so much we’re basically numb to the possibilities.

Innovation narratives

Humans have long created narratives like this around innovation. The narrative prods us along the adoption curve. We did it with the internet, computers, and radio. The problem, I think, is that we adapt faster than our social, economic, and political systems do. The result is that we change—we become more proficient and productive than before—but the systemic expectations don’t. Higher proficiency and productivity does not result in less work; it results in more work within the time and profit-maximization expectation of labor. It’s the “more is more” trap of a capitalist consumerist society like in the United States.

In the 20th century, the influential British economist John Maynard Keynes theorized that technological advancements would reduce the work week hours and create space for an abundance of leisure time. What happened? In the United States, living standards increased and we work more than ever. It’s the Productivity Paradox, where productivity growth slows with technological advances, and Parkinson’s Law, where work expands to fill the available time. Both perhaps due to the unforeseen tasks that emerge with the innovation, combined with my point on systemic expectations and, in Keynes’ terms, our human inability to accept abundance. It certainly is a double-edged sword.

The age of leisure

Sometimes, I have feral reactions to AI but it’s not because I dread the opportunity for leisure and abundance—I certainly use AI in pursuit of efficiency. No—I dread paying the price that I fear AI will demand: Efficiency in exchange for our quirky humanness, the things that allow us to see the human in each other and find true connection.

I loathe receiving emails that were clearly written by AI, especially from people I know. The same goes for essays and thought pieces. I want to hear you, feel you, in the words. I want to feel alive, together. It makes me burn on the inside when I know AI stripped you out of a connection we could have had; I feel angry. Don’t deprive me of real human connection, the experience of being fully and deeply alive, the only real thing we ever have in this life.

AI is changing me

Recently I’ve begun embracing my quirkiness, I think because of AI. I care a little bit less now about perfecting my essays. I want you, reader, to experience how these words on the screen came straight out of my heart and soul and to you, the weight of how it feels to me—a connection that can only happen between you and me.

For the first time ever, I find beauty in what I’ve always considered my physical imperfections—my big nose, asymmetrical face, my little gut that persists no matter how much I exercise. These features make me me. My unique features are just that: Increasingly special in a world of AI-generated perfection and the rise in “AI face” plastic surgery. I feel more comfortable in my skin as our lives, work, and ideas happen increasingly outside of ourselves and in the invisible networks of clouds and chips around us.

Maybe one day historians will read this as a first-person account of how AI changed our lives, changed us; How in this moment we lost our humanity—or maybe began to find it.

As I typed this, my 6-year-old daughter asked what I was writing. AI. She said, “ooh, I know about AI.” I asked her to describe to me what she knows about it. She said, as plain and simple as could be: “It’s fiction. It’s something not real, like if you see a banana dancing—that’s AI.”

Out of the mouth of babes. Wisdom, maybe because they don’t know how to be anything but honest.

Recommended Reading (on AI)

• You are not a robot. Yet. ( )

• We are talking to each other less

• Do people care if AI wrote it?

• Readers rate AI written stories higher

• 6 ways my classroom looks different this year because... AI, duh. ( )

🌼 In Case You Missed It

• My Money Story & The Money Date. They have everything to do with each other.

• The Joint Account is my most feminist financial decision.

• 6 Things I Know About Spending Now.

• Comparison is Financial Poison.

Thanks for reading. If this resonated, a ❤️ or comment goes a long way in helping my work grow.

For real time conversations on money, culture, and the art of living well, find me on Instagram @emiliedayanhill.

See you next time.

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

This thing started with the money date—both my personal money journey and my journey talking about money online via Instagram and Finance That Feels. I grappled with understanding why money, this cut and dry numerical thing makes (some of) us feel crazy emotional and why it feels complicated when it should be simple.

Here’s how it started

I will share the full Money Date details below, as well as a simplified, step-by-step PDF, but I want to give you the backstory first.

As I’ve shared before, I never intended to work in the money space. You can read how I got to this point professionally here. On the personal front, and as is the case for many people, I received conflicting messages about money my whole life, which you can read about here. Those messages—my money story—surfaced abruptly when they encountered—married—my husband, Andy, and his money story at the sweet, impressionable ages of 24 (me) and 26 (him). We felt so grown up but, gosh, we were young! And we had so much to learn.

Getting married young, Andy and I were, financially speaking, blank slates. We had nothing to our names. If anything, he was the financially established one. He was a couple years into a promising career; I was a grad-school drop out working a random job until I figured out what I wanted to “be when I grow up.” He earned 3x what I did and, from day one, treated the money he earned as “ours” —we had a joint checking account from the day we got married and he never made me feel like I was living off of his salary or needed to ask permission to spend the money that he, by and large, earned. This profoundly shaped our money story from that point on and created the basis for a healthy financial relationship in our marriage. I give him immense credit for this.

The joint account

The joint account forced us to have serious conversations about money. Talking about money is a good thing in relationships; It is not a topic that should be suppressed! We had to agree on how and what we would spend on, which involves a lot of jockeying of whose wants, needs, and values are prioritized and in what order. General alignment in these areas is, I imagine, a critical component to successful long-term relationships. But I’m not a relationship expert!

Here’s an example: We both entered our marriage with some student loan debt. If Andy had his way, he would have lived off ramen noodles and eggs and paid as much off the student loan as possible each month (which he did until we got engaged.) He hates debt (that is an early money story he absorbed in life.)

I was less concerned about the student loans—it didn’t weigh on me as much as it did for him. It wasn’t a huge amount of debt and I knew that gradual chipping away would pay it off by the time each of us turned 30. In the meantime, a less aggressive payoff schedule allowed us to save towards other goals like buying a house.

Andy repaid his student loans so aggressively his first years out of graduate school, he had hardly any savings. The initial reason he pulled back on student loan payments was so that he could save enough to buy an engagement ring ❤️

In the end, we paid off our student loans and bought our first home before either of us turned 30. This is a result of how we prioritized our wants, needs, and values.

Tradeoffs

A few of the tradeoffs we made in that period: We only had one car (I will spare you the logistical gymnastics involved…Atlanta is a CAR town); Our first home was teeny-tiny and not in a neighborhood we initially wanted (it turned out to be great); We did not visit my family in France for several years (this was the most difficult tradeoff of all for me); in fact, we did not go on any cool vacations—all of our PTO and vacation dollars were spent traveling domestically to see family (costs a lot of time and money to see family when you don’t live near family) or friends’ weddings (and, unfortunately, we missed out on some.)

The honest truth: We worked our asses off. In my case, at this point I worked full-time at the firm where I am now a principal and shareholder. Outside of work I studied for the CFA designation—an intense process to say the least. I woke up at 4am every day to study; went to work 9-5; ate dinner; studied until 11pm and then crashed in bed. Meanwhile, Andy worked 80-90 hour weeks under a brutal manager at a major bank. Rinse and repeat.

The hard thing about money

That is what makes money hard, and even more so in relationships: It is a limited resource. You can do almost anything with it but not everything. You have to make choices and trade offs. This is true for every single person on earth. Here’s the key point from everything I’ve shared about our financial journey: It worked because we knew what we wanted, because we had those discussions early on. We were on the same page in terms of reaching financial goals and we worked toward them together.

We shared all of the money in the joint account, but for the first few years of marriage it felt like we were flying by the seat of our pants. Whoever pulled a bill from that day’s mail would be the one to pay it. Some bills fell through the cracks. Sometimes we had cashflow squeezes due to the timing of bill payments. We had combined our lives and tried to equally participate in the finances, but the result was sometimes more chaotic than empowering.

The Money Date begins

Unsatisfied with the budgeting apps available at the time (I tried them all), I decided to build my own, simple cashflow tracker in a spreadsheet. I regularly and systematically went through every account: the joint checking, joint high yield savings, joint brokerage, joint credit card, and each of our retirement accounts, making sure that transactions looked correct, checking if any payments hadn’t posted yet. I forecasted cashflow needs for the upcoming month or two. I wanted every dollar to have a job. If it wasn’t paying a bill this month, I would move it to a goal-oriented account, whether that was the high yield savings, brokerage or retirement accounts.

Over time I would track our progress toward goals. Together, we discussed how we were doing—both the big picture and the day-to-day…did we need to cut back anywhere or adjust contributions from one account to another? I repeated this exercise on the 1st and 15th of each month. This became The Money Date.

Honestly, I didn’t think much of it. It was something I did that made sense to me and solved my financial organization problems. It wasn’t until I told one of my best friends about it, and walked her through it so she could use The Money Date that I realized other people could benefit from it, too. It wasn’t the personal finance or FI/RE content swirling everywhere online. Instead, this was a non-judgmental, practical system to stay on top of one’s finances in an emotionally-attuned way—money makes us feel a certain way and I used my Money Date to process those financial feelings.

I attribute 99% of the reason I started talking about money online and sharing The Money Date to this friend (hey Shawn!) She helped me see that I did have an approach that was different from other financial voices at the time. She helped me develop the confidence to talk out loud. Everyone needs a friend like Shawn 💕

How it ended

The thing about The Money Date, for me and everyone who does it, is that it is a work in progress. Money is a lifelong journey—as our lives and circumstances change, it should be no surprise that our finances, our priorities, our feelings evolve. So does The Money Date.

The exercise of writing this post makes me realize that I rarely recognize the positives: We worked sooo hard (still do!), hit major milestones early on (paying off debt, buying home). I get stuck in that scarcity mindset, hamster wheel of believing we need more, more, MORE— not out of greediness but out of a fear that some shoe will drop and we suddenly won’t have enough. It’s a normal human instinct. The task at hand is to know—and appreciate—the abundance in our lives. The Money Date makes that visual; it’s a consistent reminder and a tool to work through those money feelings which, more often than not, come from a scarcity mindset. It’s a tool that reminds you of where you are financially, how far you’ve come, and what needs to be done next.

We can’t control everything that happens in our financial lives, but we can decide how to respond. You can do that best when you know where you stand. That is empowering. That’s why you should do The Money Date.

Let’s do a Money Date!

Click the button below for a PDF check list. Below that is an expanded version of The Money Date to walk you through it. If you’re like me and keep everything in iPhone Notes, at the very end I’ve included the checklist that. you can copy/paste into a Note. Beware - you’ll likely have to reformat the checkboxes in the app.

Download The Money Date Guide

How to do The Money Date

What a Money Date Actually Is—A Money Date is a recurring, dedicated appointment with your own financial life — once or twice a month, on the calendar, no negotiating.

This guide walks you through the full practice: how to arrive, what to look at, and how to release the mental load until your next one. This is the foundation of what I call financial wellness: not a number in an account, but a relationship you tend on purpose.

Behavior Beats IQ—Research is clear: long-term financial outcomes are shaped far more by behavior than by intelligence. You could hold the most sophisticated financial plan in the world — it has no value if you don’t show up to run it.

The Money Date is that showing-up. It’s a small, repeatable habit that builds financial confidence one cycle at a time.

This matters especially if you’re holding the financial mental load for your household while also holding everything else. You don’t need a more complicated system. You need simplicity.

Before your first Money Date, name your values and goals.

If this is your first Money Date, don’t skip this. The five steps ahead work best when you already know what you’re aiming for — otherwise you’re just looking at numbers with nothing to measure them against.

Take ten minutes before you begin:

• What matters most to you right now — in this season of your life, not someday?

• What are you actually trying to build or protect with your money?

You don’t need a polished answer. A rough sentence is enough to start.

[A full guide on naming your values and setting financial goals is coming soon on Substack — I’ll link it here once it’s live.]

STEP 1: ARRIVE

Name what you’re bringing in.

Before you open a single account:

• Name one feeling you have going into today’s Money Date. Anxious? Avoidant? Curious? Neutral? Just name it.

• Take a breath. Notice where you’re holding tension — jaw, shoulders, stomach. Money stress lives in the body more than we admit.

• Have your toolkit ready (spreadsheet, app, notebook — whatever you actually use).

STEP 2: LOOK

Get eyes on everything.

• This is where you might open a money app like Monarch or a spreadsheet. Be sure to look at the underlying account values, not just the top-line net worth.

• Log into each financial account you hold — checking, savings, HSA, retirement, brokerage.

• Note the balance of each. How has it changed since your last Money Date? Does anything surprise you?

• Confirm any regular deposits or withdrawals happened as expected.

• If you have goals tied to specific accounts, check where you stand relative to each one. (Stay tuned for a Goal Setting Money Date Guide later this year.)

STEP 3: NOTICE

Scan for action items and patterns.

• Review recent transactions in each account. Anything unusual?

• Do you have anything coming up in the next few weeks that needs attention—a large payment, a tax deadline, a 0% offer expiring?

• Without judgment: what felt aligned with your values this cycle? What felt off, rushed, or reactive?

STEP 4: NAME

Turn the numbers into insight.

Complete this sentence:

“This cycle, I realized that money is really about ______.”

For most people, the answer isn’t money at all—it’s safety, time, control, rest, or belonging.

• What is one thing you did well with your money this cycle?

• What is one thing you’d like to do differently?

STEP 5: RELEASE

Set it down until next time.

• Name one thing you’re grateful for in your financial life today.

• Name anything weighing on your financially.

• Put any unfinished action items directly on your calendar — don’t carry them as mental weight.

• Set your next Money Date now, before you close this guide.

• Once it’s scheduled, you’re allowed to set the feelings down. You have a time and place to pick them back up.

BUILDING THE HABIT

Make it stick.

• Pick a standing time. The 1st and 15th. The first Sunday of the month. Whatever repeats without requiring a decision.

• Block real time. Thirty minutes at first; most people get this down to fifteen once it’s routine.

• Set it on repeat. The point is that it stops requiring willpower. It’s just what happens on the 1st.

The Money Date won’t make you rich or abundant or secure—whatever it is you seek—on its own. What it does is close the gap between the financial life you’re building on paper and the one you actually feel—aligned, aware, and in the driver’s seat of your own decisions.

That clarity is what “enough” actually feels like.

Here’s the checklist to copy/paste for Notes:

The Money Date — Checklist
Your recurring appointment with your financial life.

First Time? Name Your Values First
☐ What matters most to me right now, this season of life?
☐ What am I building or protecting with my money?

1. Arrive
☐ Name one feeling you’re bringing in
☐ Take a breath, notice where you’re holding tension
☐ Have your toolkit ready (app, spreadsheet, notebook)

2. Look
☐ Open your money app, spreadsheet, whatever you use — check underlying balances, not just net worth
☐ Log into checking, savings, HSA, retirement, brokerage
☐ Note each balance and what’s changed
☐ Confirm deposits/withdrawals happened as expected
☐ Check progress on any goals tied to accounts

3. Notice
☐ Scan recent transactions for anything unusual
☐ Flag upcoming items (bills, tax deadlines, offers expiring)
☐ Notice what felt aligned this cycle — and what felt off

4. Name
☐ Complete: “This cycle, I realized that money is really about ______.”
☐ Name one thing you did well
☐ Name one thing to do differently

5. Release
☐ Name one thing you’re grateful for
☐ Name what’s weighing on you financially
☐ Put unfinished items on your calendar
☐ Schedule your next Money Date
☐ Set the feelings down until then

Commit
☐ Pick a standing time (1st & 15th, first Sunday, etc.)
☐ Block 15–30 minutes
☐ Set it on repeat

I have a favor to ask: if you know of a friend who would love Finance That Feels, benefit from the Money Date, or who wants to feel more than successful on paper—to use their money to live with purpose and values-alignment—please forward this to them. It means so much to me when you share my work, truly.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

Trust me, I am the last person who would have guessed that I would find my calling and success as a “money expert.” Growing up, my aptitude was not numbers. I wouldn’t say that my strength was words, either—I disliked English and literature! I loved history and, most of all, I felt at home in creative expression; Some theatre, but especially music: I played violin. Music was my way of processing the world around me and the emotion that buzzed inside me.

When I think about young Emilie, I see a spunky and unconventionally talented girl crippled by insecurity. I doubted my ability in all areas—academic, musical, social. I felt out-of-place as a French-American child, different from others no matter which side of the Atlantic I found myself on (more on that here.) The insecurity, and the anxiety that comes with it, dominated my inner world until at least college. The anxiety resurfaced in my early twenties when I was career-confused, a Paris grad-school drop out living with my parents again in Mississippi (here’s my non-linear educational and career trajectory, if you’re interested.)

In my early life I felt insecure financially, too, and I remember feeling that way from a young age. Parents, take note: Research says that 75% of children are financially anxious, absorbing much of the money stress that their parents carry even when not a single word is directly communicated about it.1

Money Memories

Our first money memories powerfully impact the rest of our financial lives, and much of how we are with money is inherited from or reactionary to the way our parents handled it. Over the years I’ve written much on the psychology of money, money scripts and the importance of understanding one’s own for long-term financial wellness (which is not the same as financial success!) Money stories are at the heart of Finance That Feels, and it wasn’t until Gauri at asked if I would do a Money Sit-Down that I realized I have never publicly shared my money story.

Here is my money story

My first money memory is of the confusing contrast between the frugal, making-ends-meet household where I grew up in the American deep south and the rich, elegant lives of my extended family in the south of France. We traveled often to see them, and they visited us frequently as well. When we were with them, it was like the flip of a switch: Suddenly we would experience luxury—nice cars, lots of shopping, and ordering whatever we wanted at restaurants and always getting dessert. Just to give you an example—here is a photo of me at 3 years old wearing Yves Saint Laurent clothing (as an adult I do not own any YSL!!)

It’s as if we had money and didn’t have money. For a child, this is very confusing.

A specific first memory revolves around my French grandparents’ visits each year. I was probably three years old. I remember my grandfather taking me shopping: I could buy whatever I wanted. I remember ogling in the toy aisle at Walmart. I don’t remember what toy I chose, but I remember his wallet. He had so much money. When he counted out the dollars to pay, I had never seen so much. And I remember noticing that he treated money differently than my parents did: he was giving to me so generously and with such ease. This contrasted sharply with the childhood feeling that my desires were a financial burden to my parents.

We are all living for the first time, and in my childhood my parents were figuring it out, too. They got married at age 22 in the USA and promptly moved to France for my dad’s mandatory military service. I was born when they were 23, and we spent my earliest days living with my grandparents.

Generational money stories

My French father comes from a successful entrepreneurial family who wears pinky rings with our ancient family crest (we all get the ring at age 18.) We know the name of every single direct ancestor going back to 900 A.D. Every branch of the family has distinct country homes, and most of these properties have their own names, not just “country house.” My mom’s engagement ring looks like the Duchess of Wales’, with diamonds and a sapphire personally sourced by my grandparents from travels abroad. That’s my French side.

My American mom came from a solidly middle class Texan family, raised by her mother who—wildly brilliant (a math major who worked on the Apollo in the 1950s/60s) —rejected it all (including leaving my mom’s dad) to live a road-tripping hippy life in California and in poverty with her two children. My mom remembers a transient childhood, surviving on mayonnaise sandwiches and never being taken to the doctor when she was sick.

My parents came from wildly different money situations, and the assimilation of their lives and money stories played a real role in shaping my own money memories.

After the military my parents, still in their early twenties and with baby Emilie, moved back to the States to continue my dad’s education. We lived very modestly on a graduate student’s income and my mom was a public school teacher. My sister, and then another, and then another, were born all within the time that my dad was finishing his PhD. My mom once told me that when I was little, they put my Christmas gifts on layaway at the store.

Yet, we traveled and spent almost every summer in France, living a completely different lifestyle. As an adult, I now understand the role my grandparents played in supporting my family in this time, including supporting four daughters and annual international travel for a family of 6. You can imagine why I felt money-confused as a kid: I felt like my desires were a financial burden to my parents (I don’t blame my parents for this. As I said earlier, they were figuring it out, too) and I also knew what kind of lifestyle was possible, and that I wanted the life my French family lived.

How I got to this point

Fast-forward to college. I never intended to study economics and work in financial services. I was interested in performing arts management or working in global non-governmental organization like International Monetary Fund and the OECD. Taking the required Econ 101 for my liberal arts degree led to me falling in love with economics, lots of doors closing (not getting the jobs I wanted, dropping out of grad school, Paris not working out (and I never thought I would leave)), which led to my career in money management (i.e. helping families with abundant resources navigate and steward their wealth in a meaningful and productive way.) I never thought that this would be my career. Now, I understand how my complicated money story informs my work and honestly probably makes me better at it—turns out we all have complicated money stories and being honest about it is a good thing. It’s part of being human.

My work is about numbers and money, but the numbers and money only matter because of the relation to people and their lives. And that is what I’m obsessed with. Truly, I am obsessed with understanding why we are the way we are with money (economics uses numbers to answer that question) and how we can use our money to live a meaningful, values-aligned life (6 years ago I couldn’t find anyone in my space exploring about this, hence why I began talking about it on Instagram and now Substack!)

The Money Date

Next week I’ll share the Money Date: the why and how-to.

Finance That Feels started with the Money Date—a tool I developed to help me navigate adulthood and marriage. Its origin has to do with the financial journey my husband and I have been on from the day we got married almost 13 years ago (it should be pretty obvious by now that everyone has a money story and these materially impact our relationships and how we jointly think about, save, and spend our money.) I felt it important to share the back story to the Money Date first, because my money story has everything to do with why I do the Money Date.

The money story continues

For me, the story continues now as a parent. One time I caught myself telling my daughter “we don’t have enough money”...I think she was asking why we don’t have a bigger house or something. I immediately regretted it. When a child hears this, they don’t grasp the nuance of the statement. They begin to wonder if their family is actually running out of money.

Since then when those conversations have come up, I have tried to frame it in terms of choices and priorities. I tell her that I work hard and her dad works hard so that we can have money for our family. We walk through the ways in which we have everything we need. We have enough. We talk about how, with our money, we get to choose what we do with it. We choose to live in our current home so that we can live in our neighborhood and do other things with our money like go visit family in France every year. It’s the difference between an abundance versus a scarcity mindset. “We don’t have enough money” is scarcity. “We have everything we need” is abundance. And children know the difference. Money is complicated, and that usually starts with our families.

I have a favor to ask: if you know of a friend who would love Finance That Feels, benefit from the Money Date, or who wants to feel more than successful on paper—to use their money to live with purpose and values-alignment—please forward this to them. It means so much to me when you share my work, truly.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

The last time I did a “challenge” was pre-kids when, even then, I thought everything was wrong with my body, so I did Whole 30. The reason for going into it was very different from the result I got out of it — I wanted to lose weight but instead gained weight; I felt great mentally and energetically, aside from the disappointment of gaining weight (the odyssey of women and our bodies, am I right?) This is one reason I say that our money relationships are similar to our relationships with our body (I wrote about that here) — both seem to touch all the senses, even when it rationally doesn’t make sense (or cents!)

Since then, I’ve steered clear of challenges. In my maturity since Whole 30, I’ve learned about the pitfalls of all-or-nothing thinking and behavior: It’s restrictive (we live once, why make it unhappy) and rarely results in lasting change.

Yet, the idea of doing No Buy July kept creeping into the recesses of my consciousness.

A quick note: Americans love a “challenge,” and Americans are brilliant marketers. “No Buy July” has such a lovely ring to it — kudos to whoever coined it. Challenges feel so American — that all-or-nothing mentality. I’ve never heard of anything like this or Whole 30 or 75 Hard, you name the challenge, in France. We Americans are so intense! We like things Black-And-White and dislike gray space. The French in me kept shouting: Don’t Do This.

I decided to try No Buy July as an experiment. Heaven forbid that I admit that I, too, am drawn to contrast like a moth. The result? I learned more about myself in 31 days of not being a distracted consumer than I have in years of tracking dollars. I feel refreshed and enlightened – mentally and spiritually. I 10/10 recommend practicing a No Buy month (here’s how I did it.)

My unfiltered thoughts after 31 days of no spending.

1. My money personality wasn’t what I thought it was:

• I thought I was a disciplined spender. I’ve actually just been mindlessly spending. It didn’t even register for me.

• Social media makes mindless spending dangerously easy.

• I’m a sucker for a sale.

• I’m a sucker for cultural moments (hello, World Cup) and sentimental purchases (I started No Buy July on vacation and realized how often I buy souvenirs for the fleeting feeling of being on vacation.)

• FOMO is a more powerful force in my spending than I gave it credit for.

• Lifestyle creep is real. I have the stuff to prove it. I also think an element of my lifestyle creep has to do with working in the high net worth space (!!!)

• The irony of scrutinizing my clients’ spending more than my own. It’s true what they say: The cobbler has no shoes!

2. The unexpected urge to purge:

• When I stopped bringing new things in, I realized how much excess is in my life. I wanted everything out. The mindlessness I saw in my spending was reflected right back at me in my stuff. This turned into a physical and spiritual shedding.

• A fun outcome: I’m organizing a swap party with friends for the items that feel hard to give away (sentimental). It feels good knowing things I do love but don’t need are going to friends who might actually need the thing.

3. Urges are powerful — and completely manageable:

• There is a “high” feeling in resisting an urge. This high lasted longer than the dopamine hit of buying whatever it was I wanted to buy.

4. The disconnect between purpose and how our money reflects it:

• No Buy July gave me an honest look at the difference between what I say I want to do with my money and what I actually spend it on. I think that gap is the reason financial success doesn’t equal financial wellness.

• Real financial wellness isn’t about spending less or endlessly optimizing. It’s about making sure your money is actually moving toward what matters to you.

• I feel recommitted to quality over quantity going forward. It’s not just a preference. It’s a values-aligned spending decision.

5. Consumerism is a distraction — and it’s a time-suck:

• I was noticeably more productive this month.

6. Budgets are liberating:

• Call it what you want: budget, framework, guidelines. Everyone needs to know what they can spend and have clarity about what they want to spend on (see #4)

• Reps over research: there’s a real difference between planning to change how you spend and actually doing it for 31 days straight.

What is money for?

No Buy July ended yesterday and I feel enlightened. I don’t want it to end — but I also know that its power is in its timebound-ness. By intentionally not spending for 31 days, I created intentional space to reflect.

My biggest takeaway is what I talk and write about so much, but I think I had become desensitized to my own message: Money is for living out your values. Money is for living the life you want to live. Money is about purpose: Money is not your purpose, but it will reflect your purpose. Money reflects what is important to us. This is probably why we get so emotional about it! It really does come down to: What is my life for and what is enough for me in that endeavor?

This month became more than an experiment. It was a life-changing experience. I am thinking deeply about how I will carry forward these lessons in my life (don’t worry, I will keep you posted 🙂.)

Everyday is a good day to start living your purpose. How is your money helping you live yours?

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

Thanks for reading. If you like this work, a ❤️ or comment goes a long way in helping it grow.

Subscribe now

We are oversaturated with information, but being informed matters. Living well (aka staying sane!) means knowing the difference between signal and noise — so, I hit unsubscribe…a lot. Here’s what made it past my unsubscribe filter this month — think of it as my notes to self, for you: the ideas, questions, and things of life that I think are worth paying attention to, the ones that I certainly am.

The big news

You probably saw the news: Substack rolled out a feature in partnership with Pangram to detect AI usage in writing. My feed erupted with writers and readers reacting to this update.

The rollout struck a nerve. To be honest, it is fun to watch.

I do have an opinion on the matter but, for better or for worse, like most things in my life, it sits in a mushy gray area, nuanced and subject to change. I’m human!

And that is at the heart of this matter.

My thoughts on AI usage

Aside from the existential questions of whether Artificial Intelligence will become too smart, require too much of the environment and destroy us all, I think AI is an incredible tool. It is wild to watch a technology transform the world in real time, so quickly. It is scary, humbling, and exciting.

AI usage confronts our daily lives. In my work and writing, there is a constant push/pull to use AI — a push in that there are real productivity gains to be had. A pull in that AI is so alluring in how easy and FAST it makes some tasks. This readership spans all ages but I imagine most of us experience this push and pull.

All of this asks deep ethical questions of the AI user: What is appropriate use? What disclosure is or should be required? And the aforementioned existential questions.

Right now, we are in the wild west of this thing. There are no rules. Here’s where I stand on the matter:

As a person who gives advice professionally, makes decisions that impact financial lives, and writes publicly, I believe I have a responsibility to disclose how AI informs and shapes (or not) each of those areas.

For the first two, that is between me, my firm, and my clients 🙂

For the third, writing, I do have an opinion I’d like to share.

How I use AI

As an information tool — both discovery and dissemination — I use AI.

Here’s what I mean: When Google gives me the AI summary – I think it’s great! It’s plain delivery of information, impressively accurate and efficient. It’s a great diving board into deeper research. Most of the time, I am in search of facts, and AI delivers. Of course, it is critical to use and check sources and citations.

I use AI to disseminate my writing. To reach new audiences, I have to leverage social media. This is my least favorite part of Finance That Feels. I’m not a “marketer” and I don’t naturally have the touch and feel and, honestly, interest, for social media. So, I lean on AI.

When I’ve written a piece, I use AI to help me synthesize my work into bite-sized pieces for social media such as LinkedIn and Instagram posts. I use AI as a sounding board to determine what will land best with the audience I am trying to reach. Not always, but often.

But — here’s the important part — the input is my original work. By that I mean: AI does not write my original thought. I — me, emilie, human — write every single one of my essays.

Writing, not to disseminate information but to communicate an idea or a feeling or a point of view, is art (even if the subject matter is something boring like money!) It is a pure expression of being human. It is our personal cave painting, an effort to say I was here, I existed, and this is what it was like. It is sacred.

AI should not — cannot — create that expression. By definition, AI cannot create original thought. Its output only comes from human input.

That’s why it feels so gross when a person presents AI output as original thought, as their own effort. We humans are flawed, biased, and irrational but most of us are smart in telling the difference between real and not. That is why we want to call out the users: the people presenting AI output as an original thought. It feels so dirty.

Regarding Pangram, I think it’s an interesting tool. I learned about it a few months ago while listening to this Odd Lots episode with Pangram Labs cofounder Max Spero.

I don’t think we should police each other — and on a place like Substack it seems inevitable that the tool will be used for that purpose. It will create a lot of noise. (Perfectly on theme for my Unsubscribed series: More than EVER we need to filter what we consume.)

But I also don’t think a writer should claim AI output as their idea, as their original thought. This feels like an obvious statement (but in the AI age you’d be surprised!):

A writer shouldn’t use AI to write their work. If you do, you should disclose how AI informed and shaped the work. And, if you consider yourself a thought leader — a writer of original ideas — you should be able to express those ideas without AI. That is where the leadership comes in. Anything else is just more noise in the echo chamber and, therefore, not original and not worth our time.

I’ve referenced this time and again: The short term is unpredictable but the long term, and humans in general, are wildly predictable. AI is new. It is unpredictable and no one knows the extent to which it will change our lives. Our success with it will ultimately come down to this one timeless and universal tenet: Trust. Trust can only really exist from one human to another. An AI tool like Pangram isn’t really the point of the matter. The question is: Can we trust each other?

Human to human, that is what we need to figure out.

🌼 In Case You Missed It

• I shared my money story publicly for the first time…and I feel naked!

• I’m doing No Buy July and it’s challenging everything I know about my money personality

• 4 opinions about personal finance that might get me cancelled

• Come to France with me

• My Provence, A to Z

Thanks for reading. If this resonated, a ❤️ or comment goes a long way in helping my work grow.

For real time conversations on money, culture, and the art of living well, find me on Instagram @emiliedayanhill.

See you next time.

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

An impossible task

When I don’t know where to begin, I write a list. That is where I find myself today in attempting to distill the magic of Provence into a digestible post in your inbox.

I’ve written much about Paris over the years, including my Practical Guide to Paris. Like Hemingway wrote, “if you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast.” I became me living in Paris in my early twenties, and she is always with me.

I struggle to write about Provence, the southeast region of France, my home. It is where I was born, where my first memories were made, and it is the one place we always returned to throughout all the moves and changes of my childhood in a French-American household. The sounds and smells and tastes are a part of my biology; I yearn for them deep in my bones. When I am there, I am home. It is my sacred place.

People ask me for recommendations when they visit Provence. This thrills me! You have not experienced France if you have never adventured beyond Paris. I want each person to experience Provence. The problem is, I want everyone to experience my Provence. This is impossible. It is also selfish of me!

Finding your Provence

If you are lucky enough to visit Provence, you will find your Provence. This list is insufficient in many ways — it is my attempt at the impossible task of capturing a spirit, an ésprit. But, we must start somewhere. I am happy to finally give these ideas a permanent home online. I hope you use them and feel free to share them with your friends and family.

As I mentioned with my Paris Guide, a part of me hesitates to publish these guides to Finance That Feels. The other part of me believes that travel and place are powerful forces that shape meaning and identity and how we relate to money. These guides are as much about personal discovery as they are about travel. They explore a culture renowned for joie de vivre over consumerism. The guides reflect on what we might learn from the French about living well.

So, before we begin, slow down. Now slow down again.

Ok, we’re ready. On y va?

My Provence, A to Z

• L’Apéro — a daily ritual among family and friends: a pre-dinner drink and nibbles to mark the end of the work day and relax into the evening. Usually enjoyed outside.

• Aix, Arles & Avignon — three wildly different, non-negotiable towns to visit. Everyone talks about the markets in Aix…I prefer the markets in Arles. Avignon is the most impressive, like in an awe-inspiring way, town of them all.

• Les Baux — an incredible village carved out of the side of a mountain. The caves are open to the public and often display art and light shows that you won’t see anywhere else.

• Les Calanques & Cassis — there are two types of Provençal town: inland and coastal. Cassis is the most charming coastal town in Provence. Les Calanques are the rock cliffs that surround it. Boating around les calanques is at the top of my list every time we are in Provence.

• Cigales — cicadas. The soundtrack to Provence.

• Déjeuner — lunch, which, in Provence, means two hours mid-day. It will always be a pre-fixe menu: entrée (appetizer), plat (main), dessert + boisson (drink).

• L’essentiel — in France, everything is a matter of essence. The French know how to find the good thing – taste, smell, sight, feel – and distill it until that’s all that’s left. The luxury is the simplicity, and I do believe this is what most of us are trying to find when we visit Provence. So, that is my #1 tip for Provence: Keep it simple. It will be glorious.

• Fermé - closed. Beware evenings, Sundays, and Mondays. In Provence, most stores, including groceries, stick to old-school opening hours. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve gone to the grocery store in the evening, only to find it closed. We are not in America! Plan accordingly.

• Flâner — to wander without purpose or destination; a legitimate use of time and the best way to experience a Provençal village.

• Goûter à la vie — taste life. Slow down. Smell the roses.

• Gordes — the one town I am dying to visit, still.

• Herbes de Provence et huile d’olive — Provençal seasoning and olive oil. These make great souvenirs. I think visitors are surprised by all the olive trees!

• Île de Porquerolles — a car-free island. Take a ferry from Hyères and rent bikes on the island. Bike from beach to beach. Hike to the top. Or, like we did most recently: Charter a catamaran to the island and hang out on the water all day.

• Je ne sais quoi — a certain something. Like l’essentiel, I believe this is what we are trying to capture when we visit France or buy French products. It is a cultural fluency, a fluency in the moment, and this can’t be bought.

• Kir Royale - possibly the only K word in French! A perfect drink for l’apéro —- Champagne and crème de cassis (blackcurrant liqueur).

• Lourmarin — we fell in love with this village when we took our family last year.

• Marseille — possibly the most culturally complex city in France. Spend your time in Le Panier, Vieux Port, and Place aux Huiles. Visit Notre Dame de la Garde, the most unique basilica I’ve ever been in. If you like history, take the ferry to Chateau d’If. For the literary types, this is where the Count of Monte Cristo takes place.

• Mas — Provençal word for farmhouse. My favorite way to experience Provence, if I am not at my grandparents’ home, is to rent a mas in the countryside.

• Nougat — a traditional sweet treat in Provence. Also makes a great souvenir (make sure it’s from a local artisan).

• Occitan — the cultural and linguistic heritage in Provence. The beauty brand L’Occitane is a direct reference to this.

• Ocre - the color I think of when I think of Provence.

• Pastis & Petanque — the iconic drink and ball game of Provence. Visit Provence and you will undoubtedly pass people playing pétanque in the public courts at all hours of the day.

• Quartier — neighborhood. In Marseille my favorite is Le Panier. Aix is built around quartiers — each organized around a plaza (usually with a water fountain!) Place des Cardeurs and Place de l’Hotel de Ville are great to rest your legs, enjoy l’apéro or prendre un café.

• Ratatouille & Rosé — the regional vegetable dish, and you will drink the best rosé of your life in Provence.

• Santons, Savon de Marseille & Sel — my favorite souvenirs. Santons are hand carved and painted nativity figurines. I get mine from Santons Fouque in Aix. I load up on savon de Marseille (soap) and sel (salt) to last me the year when I visit.

• TGV — French high-speed train. To get to Provence, I always fly into Paris and take the TGV to Avignon or Aix. This allows me to bookend my trip in Paris (😍) and see the beautiful countryside. It’s only a three hour ride and trains are equipped with a café/bar.

• Un café — Probably 50% of our time in Provence is having un café (espresso) on a terrace and people watching.

• Voitures et Villages — you must rent a car (voiture) to visit the villages — and this is where the charm of Provence really lives.

• Winding roads - Provence is rural and most roads are very winding. Bring dramamine if you are sensitive.

• X for Aix en Provence — As a child I thought it was weird that there is a town called X that my family always talked about. That town is Aix-en-Provence. It is pronounced X.

• Y - The funniest letter in the French language and not many words that begin with it! Pronounced in French, igrec (“ee-grek”), means “Greek i.” France derives much of its linguistic heritage from the Romans and therefore not many words begin with the Greek i.

• Zéro — the amount of worry and stress you will carry when you are in Provence.

That is my attempt to capture Provence. It is the place of my first and oldest and dearest memories. It is a place where time disappears and also begins.

Bon voyage ❤️

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

*tw: pregnancy loss

Jealous

Most of us use the word “jealous” incorrectly.

“I’m so jealous!” I say when a friend spends extended time in Europe.

I’m jealous of friends with kids who have family nearby.

I’m jealous of friends who have unlimited PTO.

I’m jealous of bilingual people who retain their fluencies without even trying.

But these all exemplify envy. Jealousy and envy are different things — and the distinction matters. A moment I didn’t choose taught me the difference:

Jealousy is an emotional reaction to a threat of losing something you already have. This is very different from wanting what someone else has — aka envy.

There are gray areas.

Gray space

In 2022, an ultrasound appointment revealed a fetus without a heartbeat. My body did not know it wasn’t pregnant anymore. This experience was, without question, the worst in my life. I had surgery and slowly began the physical and emotional recovery.

My best friend was pregnant, too. Her ultrasound had been the day before, at the same clinic, and she left with beautiful scans of a healthy baby and texted me the pictures. In the weeks we had been pregnant together, we had already envisioned how our firstborn daughters would be the best big sisters — and that these new babies would be best friends, just like our girls were.

The jealousy, the envy, or the gray space in between — it ate me alive. It was feral. I fixated on how my best friend had what I so desperately wanted and resented her blissful naivété to the pain I was experiencing. I felt grief, of course, but I also felt a searing anger at my situation. It affected my mental health, my relationships, and my work for months — internally I was burning alive and externally I was numb. It felt unbearable.

For the record, this friend was nothing but compassionate and a total rock to me during this time. I share my struggle to illustrate how uncontrollably wild our neurons go when we feel desire, fear, and grief. It is inevitable that we feel strong emotions in our lives, like jealousy and envy. We are each living for the first time.

We all know how isolating and all-consuming these feelings are. There is such taboo around emotional honesty — such a stigma around mental health and the simple fact that we are human, not perfect — that a lot of times we stuff the feeling into a box and suppress it as deeply into our bodies as possible never to see the light of day.

Emotional Relativity

Jealousy and envy stand apart in the emotional spectrum. Unlike joy or grief, which exist on their own, these two cannot exist without someone else to measure against. I think my story shows that the distinction gets muddled in the messy experience of life. Life is a big gray area.

And in that gray area lives one of the truths I feel most strongly about: financial comparison is poison. I mean this: there is nothing additive about comparing your financial life to someone else’s. Money touches everything in life. Truths about money are often truths about life, and vice versa. Comparison, financially or otherwise, is poison, period. It will eat you alive.

A Theory of Social Comparison

When I researched comparison, I landed upon the seminal research paper on the topic: A Theory of Social Comparison Processes by Leon Festinger in 1954. Here are the 5 things I learned about comparison.

5 Facts About The Science of Comparison

1. We are wired to compare — it’s not a character flaw. Humans have a fundamental drive to evaluate themselves, not out of ego, but because accurate self-assessment is essential to functioning. This is biology, not weakness.

2. When there’s no objective measure, we default to other people. How successful am I? Am I financially where I’m supposed to be? How much do they have? There’s no test for any of these — so the brain does the only thing it can: It looks to the person next to you. I see this all the time in money conversations because, as I state in my money truth #2: There is no magical amount of money that suddenly produces the state so many people are actually searching for: enough.

3. Without social comparison, self-evaluation becomes unstable. In the absence of a reference point, our sense of where we stand fluctuates. We are social creatures and in a weird way need others as a reference point. This must be why social media is such an addiction — the brain is seeking an anchor.

4. We compare ourselves to people just slightly ahead or behind of us. The comparison drive zeroes in on people close to our own level: your neighbor, your colleague, your friend from college. Close enough to feel achievable. Close enough to feel urgent.

5. The comparison drive never reaches a natural resting point. This is the brutal truth: As your situation changes, so does your goalpost. We are always wanting what’s just out of reach. This is called hedonic adaptation.

The Cost of Comparison

Let’s talk about what comparison is actually costing us.

Comparison doesn’t just affect what we spend. It shapes the entire architecture of our lives — the career we chose, the neighborhood we live in, the milestones we’re chasing. So much of what we’re building isn’t really ours. It’s been constructed in reference to someone else’s life. And the financial anxiety underneath it doesn’t resolve. Not because there isn’t enough money, but because the goalpost is another person(s) — and people are never still! We are unstable benchmarks for each other.

I’ve seen this up close for twelve years. In our lives, more does not equal enough —money truth #2. Unless we define it for ourselves, our concept of enough constantly evolves. This gives us terrible anxiety. As we have “more,” the anxiety doesn’t go away — it just changes shape — money truth #3.

Here’s what gives me hope, though: Festinger’s research doesn’t just explain the problem; it points toward a solution.

The Antidote

When we have a clear, internal sense of what we value — a real definition of what enough looks like for us — the pull of comparison weakens. I’ve written about this before — the idea that values are what unlock a genuine sense of abundance. Not more money. Clarity about what we actually want our lives to look like. And when you have that clarity, decisions get easier too. You’re no longer deciding relative to everyone else. You’re deciding relative to yourself.

This is the antidote — creating your own reference point, not looking to someone else. Only this can belong to you. Only this can feel like enough. Only this can quiet the comparison noise.

That particular ache of looking at someone else’s life and feeling like yours is somehow less? It doesn’t have to be the measure. You get to choose a different one.

Continue the conversation:

✨ Have you ever felt the difference between jealousy and envy — even if you couldn’t name it at the time?

✨ Where does comparison show up most in your financial life — spending, career, lifestyle?

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

It is a truth often learned the hard way that absence does, as they say, make the heart grow fonder. The subject of such fondness for me, most of the time, is France. I am a dual French American citizen and have lived most of my life in the States. My American citizenship comes not from a birth certificate (I do not have one) but by a naturalization certificate that my parents (French father, American mother) procured at the American Embassy in Paris shortly after my birth.

For as long as I can remember, I live in eager anticipation of my next visit to France. I yearn for it — and everything dear to me that it holds — like a maddening lost piece to complete a puzzle. In college I pursued every opportunity to live in France. I spent every summer there and studied for a semester in Angers. After college, I moved to Paris.

Missing America

A funny thing happened as my stays lengthened: I missed America terribly.

Even more peculiarly, I missed my home state of Mississippi — a place that I had long tried to shed from my identity. In France, I found myself listening to R.L. Burnside and Junior Kimbrough (highly recommend this documentary if you don’t know who they are.) I read more William Faulkner than I ever did as an Oxford, Mississippi, resident — the town in which the Nobel laureate lived and on which his fictional Yoknapatawpha County was based. I wished for the cleansing relief of a summer thunderstorm. I yearned for the sticky air of the American South, the sound of cicadas, and the ease with which I moved about my life in the States. I missed America, and my little postage stamp of native soil, for the first time ever.

In leaving America, I learned a lot about what I love most about it. I’ve written before about what the French understand about money and French habits to live well. I’ve critiqued American economic ideology, albeit uncomfortably as I arguably work on the front lines of and benefit from said system.

The critique comes from a good place: I only bother with thinking and writing so much about these things because I care about this place so damn much. Today, I want to write about my favorite things about America. I learned these the hard way — I didn’t know what I loved until I didn’t have it.

My favorite things about America that I learned the hard way:

The American Character

• Americans are generally optimistic people. We tend to be friendly and smile a lot. The 2026 World Cup is reminding us of this — a reminder we desperately needed. I once read that our friendliness/smiling is a result of all of the assimilation that had to occur as the United States was growing.

• Americans are ingenuitive. Our individualist culture imparts agency on each of us — we don’t just accept the status quo. We like to problem solve and find a better way of doing things.

The American Opportunity

• The American Dream is alive and well. Economic and political cycles certainly influence self-actualization (this is true anywhere, not just the U.S.) but to say it is dead is short sighted and ignorant of its relativity.

• Americans are open-minded. Our society was built from diversity. Yes, of course there are bigots (everywhere), but I believe Americans are generally more accepting of differences than the French are (my only other reference point.)

The American Spirit

• Americans take risks. This is a double-edged sword. On the one hand we take risk because of opportunity and ingenuity. On the other hand, we take risk because we have to, because we do not have a robust social safety net.

• Americans are generous with time, talent, and treasure. This is partly a response, I’m sure, to the lack of social safety net. But I also think it has to do with the melting pot of our country. The only way we have survived 250 years is by coming together. I believe Americans on a one-on-one basis are relatively more charitable and willing to help out a stranger.

Home

I moved back to the United States fourteen years ago. I am raising my family here. My career is here. A piece of me, France, is always missing when I’m here. But living in France I learned that America is a missing piece of me when I am not here. I think it’s the downside of being from two places, a detail that otherwise has great perks.

In French there is a phrase that I think captures the emotion much better than its English counterpart. In English we say, “I miss (someone/thing).” In French we say, “(Someone/thing) me manque(s).” It means it is missing from me. It is a part of me that is missing. Living in France taught me that America is one of those pieces in my life. When I am not here, it is missing from me. It’s a part of me. Today, I celebrate America.

Happy 4th of July.

Continue the conversation:

✨ What things about America would you add to this list?

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

Giving advice for a living

I give advice for a living. It’s a funny thing and takes some getting used to because I, too, am living for the first time. So, I spend my time studying history.

The saying is true: There is nothing new under the sun. The details may change (AI today, the internet in 1999, and railroads in the 19th century) but human behavior, with its quirks and all, is remarkably predictable at the collective level. Voltaire once said, “History never repeats itself. Man always does.”

I often stumble on profoundly humbling insights that teach me two things:

1. My own experience is not isolated;

2. People long ago had a lot of life figured out, and we’ve somehow lost that knowledge.

Regarding the second point, I am talking less about scientific discovery and more about the human experience. Here are two examples of what I mean:

First, in reading Sarah Bakewell’s How To Live: Or A Life of Montaigne in One Question and Twenty Attempts at an Answer, I learned that the word “essay” comes from the French essai — a form invented by the philosopher Montaigne, who was the first to write this way. Bakewell writes, “Essayer, in French, means simply to try. To essay something is to test or taste it, or give it a whirl.”

Second, and I don’t remember where I learned this: The English word ‘asset’ — the management of which is the entire premise of my job — comes from the French word ‘assez,’ which means…wait for it…enough.

Words

Those who came before us really knew something and our language reflects it. Our words contain the wisdom we seek. In my work, the only way I have found to give good advice is to read, to study, and to live my life as wholeheartedly and open-mindedly as possible, taking note of what works and what doesn’t.

I recently had the opportunity to share what a day in my life looks like with . You can listen to the episode here. It gave me a chance to reflect on my own whirling through life — a perpetual experiment in essayer, trying what works and what doesn’t — and what assez, enough, looks like to me.

We recorded in May and the episode was released in June. It struck me how much in my life has changed in just one month:

• Our dog, Hadley, is no longer with us.

• Our son is out of the crib and into a big bed.

• My Thursdays — once the most stressful day of my week — look completely different now, because of changes I didn’t see coming when we recorded.

• We unexpectedly now have a puppy!

Money truths are really life truths

This is one of my money truths: nothing is permanent. Change is always possible. Circumstances change — often in ways we didn’t see coming and couldn’t have controlled. And, this is important: We are not fixed beings. We have agency in how we respond, in how we adapt, in what we choose to try next. That’s not a small thing. That’s everything. Each of us is living for the first time, tasting, whirling, and discovering assez.

Recommended Reading:

• Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

• How To Live: Or A Life of Montaigne in One Question and Twenty Attempts at an Answer by Sarah Bakewell

• Is God A Mathematician by Mario Livio

• Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck

Continue the conversation:

✨ What words or histories have been most insightful in your life?

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

The French take la pause seriously — lunch away from your desk, a break between classes or meetings. It’s what I mean when I talk about France being an anti-optimization culture. Instead of hustling from one deliverable to the next, there are built-in breaks throughout the day. La pause is a moment to catch your breath (or smoke a cigarette, as many French still do.)

Today, I’m embracing my French and taking une petite pause. This week’s essay isn’t ready. I’m taking my own advice to slow down instead of banging it out simply to feed the algorithm and publish at my usual Saturday morning time.

So instead of plowing ahead, here are a few pieces I’ve most enjoyed writing over the years. I hope one of them delights you in a moment of pause of your own.

À toute ❤️

emilie

✨ Money Psychology & Financial Wellness

• Impermanence and its Discontents — How to live with uncertain inevitability

  “Much of modern life is lived in a sterile, predictable bubble that makes it easy to live in denial of impermanence. This is by design–the brain prefers what is easy and certain. This works until a crisis bursts that bubble.”

• What is Money? — Dollars, crypto, and tulips oh my

  “Money is a human invention. The most basic, fundamental definition of money is that it is a store of value. In theory anything can be a store of value and history has shown this. Gold, tulips, seashells, dollars, cryptocurrency. Money is anything that represents value, and this is critically important: Money only has the value that we, individually and collectively, assign it.”

✨ Ambition, Motherhood & Modern Womanhood

• The Price We All Pay for Motherhood — + a shocking truth I’ve learned from you

  “Motherhood radicalized me.”

• Thoughts on the biggest professional year of my life — Origin story and life lessons

  “Life Lesson #1: Keep moving the ball forward–even if it is imperceptibly incremental, and even if you don’t know where you are going.”

✨ French-American Culture & The Good Life

• Not For Sale: Je Ne Sais Quoi — What the French Understand About Money

  “Why is it that in a country where the per capita income is roughly half of that of Americans, people move through life with apparent ease?2 The first thing Americans tend to notice when in France is the joie de vivre, the genuine enjoyment of life.”

• A Practical Guide to Paris — How to Spend Your Time and Money Well in Paris

  “Paris is more than a place. It is a feeling. It is a state of existing. Paris invites us to simply be. What a gift, n’est pas? It is enough to simply be in Paris.”

Continue the conversation:

✨ How are you taking a pause this weekend?

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

French summers

I spent my childhood summers in France. My sisters and I pilgrimaged from the deep American south to our grandparents’ home in the French south, for weeks or months at a time. My parents hoped we would absorb the language and culture, and deepen the bonds with our French family who we otherwise rarely saw.

We re-learned the French rules every summer:

• You greet everyone and you kiss on the cheek;

• You must address someone in the formal you – vous – unless they invite you to switch to tu;

• Meals are served at specific times, if you are hungry in-between that’s too bad;

• Every meal is a sit-down occasion;

• Bread goes directly on the table, not on your plate

• Hands DO NOT go in your lap, they must stay visible;

• Everything is closed on Sundays and sometimes Mondays (less so nowadays);

We shared a single full bathroom with my grandparents. A cup for each of them sits, to this day, on each side of the sink, with their toothbrush and preferred toothpaste tucked inside. A few products sit on the counter, impeccably organized.

There is order, too, to the nightly routine. My grandmother goes first, then my grandfather, and then a mad dash between the rest of us. When it was my turn, with no one looking, I would note each of my grandmother’s beauty products. I would read the descriptions on the back to practice my French. I would open the caps to smell – such a clean, gentle scent. My grandmother has used the same products, all of the same brand, and the brand design remains unchanged – for as long as I can remember.

La pharmacie

These products cannot be bought in bulk, so we would accompany my grandmother somewhat regularly to the local pharmacie where, even though she knew exactly what she would buy, we somehow spent what felt like forever as she chit chatted with the pharmacist. It should be noted that French pharmacists are incredibly knowledgeable and given more leeway than their American counterparts to prescribe a fix for whatever ails you. In my entire life I have only had to go to the doctor, le médecin, twice when ill. All other times the pharmacist could fix me up.

Eventually, I started sneaking my own products into her basket – of course she noticed. Avène, Caudalie, Nuxe, Kérastase – I tried them all. French skin and hair products are elite, and affordable. No wonder they’ve captured the loyalty of women the world over.

There’s a line from Mad Men I think about nightly during my toilette. Megan Calvet, whose mother is French, describes her in a Pond’s focus group:

“My mother has beautiful skin. She never washes her face. She’s not dirty – she uses water – but nothing else…She stands at the sink. And she runs the water until it’s just the perfect temperature – not too hot. And she splashes it on her face and she pats her cheeks with her finger tips.”

That’s the thing with the French: luxury is simplicity. It applies to beauty, fashion, cuisine, and daily life. Even the most sophisticated French meals combine basic elements – butter, flour, cream, and sometimes wine. The extravagance isn’t in the ingredients or technique. It’s in their quality, and in the order and timing of how they come together.

It’s a matter of essence. The French know how to find the good thing – taste, smell, sight, feel – and distill it until that’s all that’s left. Nothing extra. The essence does the heavy lifting.

Perhaps the greatest French export is the art of living well. There’s a reason France is the most visited country in the world: we want to live how they do.

That question underlies everything about Finance That Feels: how do we live well? Money touches everything, and happens to be my expertise – so it’s the thread, but certainly not the point. How do we spend our money in service of living well?

The French can teach us. Here are 7 French habits to live well. The good news: you don’t have to be in France to adopt them.

7 French Habits to Live Well

1. Ask the right question.

The most important question isn’t “how much more do I need?” It’s “what is enough for me?”

Most people have never actually answered that – and it’s the foundation of real financial wellness. Without that clarity, your money is disconnected from the life you’re trying to build. No amount of optimization or planning produces the feeling you’re after, because the goal was never defined. It can feel like working hard just to run in place.

2. Audit your “emergency infrastructure.”

Especially for Americans – we don’t have the same social safety net. Know what’s actually available to you if the worst happens. Who would take your kids if you got sick tomorrow? Who would lend you money without shame? Who could you call at 11pm? Financial resilience isn’t only a number in an account. It’s the density of your relationships and the strength of your support network. Invest there too. (Gauri, of , shared a Layoff First Aid Kit that’s worth a look.)

3. Find your third space – and use it.

In the US, connection is consumption-driven. In France, it’s built into daily life. Your third space isn’t a restaurant or a bar – not somewhere that requires spending to stay. A park, a library, a neighbor’s porch, a walking route with a friend every Tuesday. Make it a standing commitment. Connection doesn’t need a cover charge.

4. Buy less.

In America, more is better. In France, enough is plenty. We have so much stuff – in theory, this should be the easiest habit to adopt. In practice, we all know it isn’t! Start with an “stuff” audit: how much was impulse? What sparks joy, and what brings regret? Awareness is the first step. (I do a Dollar Detox every year to keep this money mindfulness muscle strong.)

5. Minimize waste.

This goes hand in hand with #4. Waste is a signal – it shows the gap between what you need and what you buy. Take note of it.

6. Lead with who you are, not what you do.

In France, the goal isn’t to do – it’s to be. You are not your work, so don’t lead with it. Build connection around being, not doing. This is where authentic living and genuine connection begin.

7. Practice je ne sais quoi.

It isn’t something you buy – it’s a fluency in what matters to you, built from time spent paying attention to your own life. I do this by going fully offline once a week: phone in the nightstand drawer, computer closed, nothing scheduled. We spend most of our lives absorbing inputs and responding to other people’s needs. One day a week, none of it can reach me. I read, walk, cook, wander, think, and spend uninterrupted time with my family.

L’essence d’esprit

None of these habits require a trip to France, and none of them require more money. If anything, most of them ask for less – less stuff, less noise, less performing for others. What they ask for instead is attention: to what’s enough, to who’s around you, to what you already have, to who you already are. That’s what the French know – that pricelessness is true wealth, that in the end, the richest thing is to be here, now.

Voilà. That is the prescription.

Companion Reading:

• Identity Crisis, and what dollars have to do with it.

• Not For Sale: Je Ne Sais Quoi.

• A Practical Guide to Paris.

• What Happens When You Track Every Dollar For A Week.

Continue the conversation:

✨ If you went fully offline for a day, what would you do with the time?

✨ What essence would you capture if you could?

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

But wait, there’s more!

I want to optimize my life. I want my time and money spent efficiently. I want to do all the things in the limited hours available.

I want my skin to look like I’m not aging.

I want all my junk to have an organized and visually-appealing place to live within my home.

I want my fridge and bookshelves to be pristine and color-coded.

I want to be the perfect mom, optimally structuring my kids’ days for their maximum emotional and intellectual development – and for my sacred sanity.

Apparently everyone else wants me to do these things, too.

When I open my email inbox, it bursts with biohacking strategies, daily rituals to unlock my productivity, and offers to achieve optimal sleep (truly, the idea of “achieving” rest…wild!) The emails invite me to upgrade my life (literally - that is the email subject line), level-up my skin care, and adopt a science-backed parenting framework that will “change everything” (their words.)

Whether it is my inbox or Instagram feed, I am told this singular message:

I could be doing this better. Who I am, what I’m doing, and what I have is not enough.

Thanks to a lot of therapy, I think I am generally self-aware. The last time I checked, I live a life that, across all measures of family, friendship, career, and material possessions, is beyond the wildest dreams of my youth.

But still.

Maybe I wasn’t dreaming big enough! (Joking, but that’s what the marketers and influencers would have me think.)

In the day-to-day (beautiful 🙂🙃) chaos of work, motherhood, relationships, and other interests and projects that make me who I am, I rarely recognize that truth, which is that I have everything I need and want, and some.

The manufactured discontent that fills our inboxes, feeds, eyes and ears has us wanting to optimize our existence. We are optimizing ourselves into oblivion. We are collectively falling into existential burn out where no amount of time, money, lip filler or supplements will make us feel better.

Collective unhappiness.

We are unhappy. Very unhappy. And the data shows it. Look at how American happiness has declined since 1972:

September 11, 2001 was a big turning point in our collective happiness – we did not fully recover after that event. Then, the Covid-19 Pandemic, from which we haven’t recovered in happiness – the data shows it. These two events actually have something in common as it relates to happiness: An erosion in trust.

wrote:

“The word pandemic comes from the Greek pan, meaning all, and demos, meaning people. But while the etymology hints at wholeness, the effect of pandemics has historically been to break apart social trust…It’s not just that Americans have lost trust in august, faraway institutions. Their faith in one another has suffered even more dramatic declines. In the 1970s and 1980s, Americans overwhelmingly agreed that other people are more or less trustworthy. That confidence in strangers has plummeted since 2020. The share of respondents who say other people are “fair” has declined by even more than overall happiness.”

Financially speaking, trust matters. As the chart below shows, higher levels of trust equate to higher levels of economic prosperity.

In affiliate links we trust.

Here’s the irony of our current situation: Optimization doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens relative to what surrounds it. It is an individualist pursuit that we base off of others. The kicker is, while our trust in each other disintegrates, we voyeuristically optimize off of the lives of complete strangers online, who we will likely never meet in real life, and emulate their perfectly curated (and optimized!) lives by way of affiliate links.

of Culture Study nails this tragedy perfectly in The Optimization Sinkhole:

“Social media made it possible for us to not just compete with the Jones next door, but every Jones we’ve ever met or followed on Instagram.”

Enter: Maxxing.

This is where “maxxing” enters the chat. If you’ve never heard of looksmaxxing, cozymaxxing, gymmaxxing, or PTO-maxxing – great! This means that you do not live entirely in front of a screen.

Maxxing is a social trend of pushing or optimizing something, the prefix to the -maxxing, to its maximum limit. It originates from online male/gamer community jargon (aka “manosphere”) and has taken over the internet (and many wallet.) The New York Times calls it a “”mechanistic, gamelike aura, as if life were mostly just a web of tactics and hacks and mutual manipulation.”

This optimization culture sells us the idea that “this one thing” will solve the problem, or in gamer-speak “unlock” the answer. If you just buy this or eke that you could be perfect. You could be happy.

Anne Helen argues, and I will again quote her because I couldn’t write it any better:

“This is the point where someone deep in the throes of one of these improvement cultures might tell you: But I like it. It’s fun for me. It’s my hobby. It gives me pleasure. If you’re an interior designer, if you see home space as an artistic tapestry, I get this; I believe you. But I also believe that we’ve collectively become very good at mistaking the feelings of optimization, organization, and control for fun. Organizing your fridge is not fun. Neither is watching someone do it. It is satisfying, and it is satisfying because it offers a flicker of control amidst the natural and amplified chaos of our lives.”

Nostalgia-maxxing

The other day on Instagram I came across “bobmaxxing” – the hairstyle is making a comeback, and optimized to perfection: The higher and tighter the better. Is the bob optimizing (or maxxing) our morning Get Ready With Me rituals?

It dawned on me the parallels of the 20s we’re living in and the 1920s. There is similarity in the (up-to-now at least) roaring stock market. The extravagance (out with quiet luxury, in with “boom boom.” What says it better than the gilded Oval Office?) Now, even the hairstyle resurrects.

We are optimized to the hilt and we are unhappy. It turns out, the optimization has no destination. It is a constant churn. It is internalized consumer culture. We are running in place, putting every drop of energy into our personal maximization, and we are spent and running in circles.

Literally.

We are spent.

Consumer sentiment is at record lows (maybe our subconscious minds know that we can’t buy our way out of this feeling.) Financial literacy declines at a rapid clip. Speculative financial behavior is thriving with the growth in sports betting, prediction markets, frenzy over this summer’s IPOs no matter cost, and 0DTE trading.

We are financially self-sabotaging, attempting to collapse time and capture the big bucks now. Why shouldn’t we be able to optimize our stock portfolios and see returns sooner? Young people aren’t even doing that, choosing instead to spend on maxxing and, when they do invest, going for gamified strategies like cryptomemes. Sure, there are macro-socioeconomic factors at play like the way GenZ-ers feel hopeless about the world they are inheriting (not to be the grumpy old-person in the room but Millennials felt this way too when we graduated college into the greatest recession of our time. Just saying.) I wrote about this in the GLP-fication of the World: We all want a magic bullet for results now.

Running in circles

None of this is new – the behavior, the psychology, the speculation, the existential dread. We humans are meaning-seeking and -making creatures. We want to be in control, even the illusion of control will suffice for us.

While we optimize ourselves into oblivion and maxx-out in the face of the nonstop and existential news cycle, we crave normalcy and stability. Spend any time on the internet and you will quickly encounter nostalgia everywhere: Nostalgia for a ‘90s summer, gingham, Y2K fashion, and “old photo” filters for social media (even disposable cameras are coming back!)

In writing this, I realize many of my cover photos for Substack posts have been vintage photos! I am not immune. (In the spirit of nostalgia-maxxing I chose a photo of 1990s Emilie for this post.)

What is the antidote? That is like asking for directions to the fountain of youth. But something tells me the answer will be more about what’s in here, in our souls and in real communion with each other, than out there, optimizing and maxxing against a phantom version of ourselves and toward a constantly moving goal post.

For me, the answer starts with a question I try to ask myself honestly: what is enough in my life? It’s more uncomfortable than it sounds, because underneath it lives a harder one — am I enough? No amount of optimizing will settle that. Being enough has never been something you achieve. And I think, on some level, that’s what all the nostalgia is really about. We are trying to remember a version of ourselves that existed before we were told we needed to be fixed.

Continue the conversation:

✨ What does “enough” mean to you?

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

Subscribe now

Being informed matters. Living well means knowing the difference between signal and noise. Here’s what made it past my filter this month — the ideas, conversations, and questions I keep coming back to in the ongoing project of building a life well lived.

Lately I’ve been noticing dichotomies everywhere:

• Consumers feel terrible about the economy but are still spending.

• The bond market flashes red and the stock market screams “green means go!”

• After reading a sensational bestseller, I’ve been struck by the public reaction to it. We seem endlessly fascinated by the financial lives of others, yet equally eager to judge the decisions we see from the outside. At the same time, the book serves as a reminder that every person contains two sides: the one we can know and the one we never will.

What dichotomies are you noticing? The challenge, as always, is figuring out where to spend our attention. Welcome to the Unsubscribed Digest.

💸 Money Psychology & Behavior

Are we ok? Consumers & businesses alike don’t feel great right now.

Over on Instagram I’ve been polling the vibes.

The responses are remarkably consistent from small business owners to consumers:

Consumers say they are cutting back, and the businesses are feeling it.

The data backs this up. This year, consumer sentiment fell to historically low levels. And, yet, the stock markets seem almost completely unfazed. My investor radar lights up whenever there is a disconnect like this.

One explanation is that we’re living through a profoundly K-shaped economy. Asset owners — primarily those with equity in fantastically-appreciated homes and stock portfolios — spend freely (the upper slant of the “K”) while non-asset owners increasingly lose purchasing power via inflation, layoffs, and stagnating wages. The first group’s spending masks the fact (in the economic data) that the majority of the population is struggling financially.

• The top 10% of earners account for over 50% of all consumer spending (Wall Street Journal.)

• More consumers leaning on “Hamster Wheel” of credit (New York Times.)

• Is $140,000 the new poverty line? (Washington Post.)

📊 Finance & Econ 101

Stock & bond investors disagree.

One of the most fascinating dynamics in markets right now is that stocks and bonds appear to be telling completely different stories.

Stocks continue making new highs. Meanwhile, long-term bond yields have climbed to levels not seen in years. Unlike stock prices going up, increasing bond yields tend to reflect more bearish sentiment — concerns of inflation, government deficits, or future economic uncertainty.

From the Financial Times:

What is one to do?

The answer: Usually nothing. I often say that the markets are unpredictable in the short term but reliably consistent in the long term. This chart proves it.

One of my favorite investing maxims is from Joel Greenblatt (legendary investor and author of The Little Book That Beats the Market):

“For most individuals, the best strategy is not the one that’s going to get you the highest return...rather, ideal is a good strategy that you can stick with even in bad times.” — Joel Greenblatt

💫 True Wealth: Being Human in the Middle of It All

I read Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle Burden.

The most interesting part isn’t the marriage. I wrote about it in this post and it went viral. Even more eye-opening than the book is the public discourse that followed its publication. This unfortunate reality remains true:

🌼 In Case You Missed It

• The 9 Money Truths Nobody Wants to Admit

• The Most Interesting Thing About Strangers Isn’t the Marriage

• What Strangers Gets Painfully Right About Money, Power, and Women

• The Price We All Pay for Motherhood

• What the French Understand about Money

Thanks for reading. If this resonated, a ❤️ or comment goes a long way in helping my work grow.

For real time conversations on money, culture, and the art of living well, find me on Instagram @emiliedayanhill.

See you next time.

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

The Financial Lives of Others

During my working hours, I live inside others’ financial lives. Turns out, this is an enviable position – many people want to know what’s going on in the financial lives of others. My clients ask:

“Is my situation normal?”

“Am I behind?”

“Am I where I need to be financially?”

“Will I be okay?”

And underneath almost all of those questions is another one:

“How am I doing relative to other people like me?”

Most people struggle to view their financial lives objectively, myself included. Emotions creep in. Maybe it’s fear, shame, anxiety, envy, or discomfort. Instead of sitting with those feelings, it’s often easier to shift the focus outward: “Well, what are other people doing?”

We are strangely reluctant to share our own financial lives, yet endlessly fascinated by the financial lives of others. It’s why my post “How I Spent My Money” became my most-read essay on Substack (though it may soon be dethroned by “The Most Interesting Thing About Strangers Wasn’t the Marriage.”)

After 12+ years inside other people’s financial lives, here is what I know to be true:

The 9 Money Truths Nobody Wants to Admit

1. Money Is Never Just Money

Money is neutral. Humans are not.

Money simply represents exchange value, yet we load it with meaning far beyond that: success, safety, identity, status, love, fear, freedom, self-worth.

2. Financial Success and Financial Wellness Are Not the Same Thing

One of the clearest patterns I’ve observed over the years is this: financial success does not automatically equal financial wellness.

There is no magical amount of money — whether earned by salary or accumulated in savings — that suddenly produces the feeling so many people are actually searching for: pure contentment.

Financial wellness is not a number. It is a relationship with your money. It is the set of behaviors, beliefs, and expectations that shape how you experience what you have.

3. Everyone Thinks Money Will End Their Anxiety. It Usually Just Changes the Shape of It.

A continuation of the previous point: money rarely eliminates financial anxiety. More often, it transforms it.

For many people early in life, the fear is:

“Will I have enough?”

Later, especially once wealth begins to accumulate, the anxiety often shifts into:

“What if I lose it?”

In my experience, money anxiety is remarkably universal in America. It does not seem to matter how much or how little money a person has — most people remain deeply uneasy about their financial future. Interestingly, I notice this dynamic far less in France, my other cultural reference point. My suspicion is that this difference is partially explained by the social safety net. Americans are acutely aware, consciously or subconsciously, that much of their future security rests on their individual ability to earn, save, invest, and sustain themselves.

The financial industry, unsurprisingly, often capitalizes on this anxiety. Fear is profitable. Log into almost any financial platform and the messaging is often some variation of: Are you saving enough?

The irony is that financial anxiety is often framed as a personal failure instead of what it more commonly is: a deeply human response to uncertainty, responsibility, and the desire to feel safe in an unpredictable world.

4. Comparison Is Financial Poison

I mean this truly and deeply: there is nothing additive about comparing your financial life to someone else’s.

Everyone’s situation is unique. Not just the numbers, but the history behind them — how the money came to be, what was sacrificed to earn it or the loss it came from, the risks taken, the obligations carried.

Comparison pulls us away from that clarity. It encourages performance instead of intention, chasing instead of reflection, and often leaves people building lives that look successful from the outside but feel deeply misaligned on the inside.

5. Most People Do Not Actually Know What They Want Their Life to Look Like

Here’s the surprising reality: most people do not actually know what they want their future lives to look or feel like.

At the beginning of any client relationship, there are three questions I need answered in order to truly add value:

• Where are you now?

• Where do you want or need to be?

• How much time do you have to get there?

In more than a decade of practice, I have yet to meet someone who arrives with clear answers to all three.

And without that clarity, it is almost impossible to plan financially in a meaningful way. Financial planning is not really about numbers first. It is about purpose, values, priorities, relationships, and how a person hopes to spend their time on earth.

6. Values Matter More Than Optimization

Earlier I wrote that financial success does not automatically create financial wellness. In my experience, financial wellness has far more to do with knowing and living your values than endlessly optimizing your money.

7. The Simple Answer Is Usually the Right Answer

Perhaps the most surprising truth about money is this: the simple answer is usually the right one.

Spend less than you earn. Invest the rest. Buy quality assets at reasonable prices. Give compounding time to work. Avoid unnecessary leverage and, borrowing from the great investor Charlie Munger: Don’t try to be too clever, just don’t be stupid.

Building wealth, and being financially well, is often less about being clever and more about patience, discipline, clarity, and time.

8. Compounding Is the Closest Thing to Magic

Compounding is real-life magic.

At its core, compounding simply means earning returns not only on your original investment, but increasingly on the growth that investment has already produced. Over time, that growth compounds exponentially if left untouched.

This is true financially, but honestly, it is true in life too.

9. Change Is Always Possible

And also: nothing is permanent.

Money changes. Markets change. Economies change. Circumstances change. Life changes. Things will happen that are outside of your control — sometimes painfully so.

But how you respond is up to you.

This is why I believe so deeply in hyper-agency: the understanding that while you cannot control everything that happens to you, you are ultimately responsible for how you adapt, respond, participate, and move forward.

Don’t become so attached to the current version of things that you forget your own ability to evolve alongside them.

It’s because we’re human

The reason I never tire of thinking, talking, and writing about money is because money is never really just about money.

And perhaps most importantly: your financial life is entirely your own. Comparing it to someone else’s is almost always meaningless because no two people share the same history, values, fears, desires, priorities, or definition of “enough.”

Money is neutral.

What you do with it is up to you.

Continue the conversation:

✨ What is your first money memory?

✨ Which of these truths resonated with you most?

✨ What does “enough” mean to you right now?

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

Belle’s Burden

I’m a wealth manager and read Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle Burden. Honestly – I couldn’t put it down. Neither could a lot of you. The book launched a spirited public discourse about how well we can ever truly know another person, landing it as an instant New York Times bestseller. For the first time in my career, women clients began bringing up a book in meetings – this book – using Burden’s story to ask questions about their own marriages, finances, and lives.

Most of us can’t relate to Belle’s generational wealth or lifestyle (she is a descendant of the Vanderbilt family) which is precisely why I think the book resonated so deeply: it reveals the universality of the human experience, regardless of money. That is the premise of Finance That Feels: money is rarely just about money. It is often the visible surface of much deeper human questions.

Reading Strangers as a married woman and mother was emotionally gut-wrenching. Reading it as a wealth manager was hauntingly familiar. Much of what shocked readers was deeply recognizable to me – the invisible dynamics around wealth and the way it quietly shapes everything around it. Here are 11 thoughts I kept coming back to while reading.

11 Thoughts I Had Reading Strangers as a Wealth Manager

1. Our love/hate relationship with rich people

   This is my hottest take: one of the few prejudices still acceptable in society today is antipathy for the very rich simply because they are rich. Reading commentary about the book online, you would think wealthy people are not permitted to make mistakes, experience grief, feel lonely, or struggle emotionally without having their humanity immediately disqualified by their privilege.

2. The family member nobody questions

   In ultra-high-net-worth families, wealth often develops its own persona. It becomes a member of the family with enormous sway – one that must not be questioned or disrespected. The money becomes the active player, and everyone around it reacts accordingly.

   Kristin Keffeler writes about this phenomenon in The Myth of the Silver Spoon:

   “In short, we anthropomorphize money. More than one client has described the experience of ‘wealth’ being like another member of the family...One client even said, ‘we might as well set a place for it at the dinner table. It gets most of our attention anyway.’”

   I have absolutely seen this dynamic in my work. My goal for everyone, regardless of wealth level, is to reverse it: money should be a tool in service of your life, not the central force organizing it.

3. Money roles calcify before you realize it

   The financial precedent established at the beginning of a relationship is often the one that sticks. Burden openly shares the money dynamic of her marriage: she entered the relationship with more wealth and financial stability. In many ways, it seems she used that stability to support his ascent – paying for the homes, the children, and the life they were building together while he worked to establish himself professionally.

   What struck me is that the dynamic never fundamentally changed, even once he found financial success. The roles had already calcified. And because of the structures surrounding that dynamic — the prenup, the trusts, the ownership arrangements — he ultimately had the power to withdraw not only emotional but financial support.

   One of the most striking parts of Strangers is that Henry (“James”) does not appear to have actively hidden much of anything financially throughout their marriage. Burden simply chose not to look. I do not say that judgmentally; this dynamic is incredibly common. In fact, studies show that the vast majority of women defer long-term financial decisions to their spouse. Early in my career, I was shocked by how often a woman would answer my call and immediately say, “Let me get my husband on the phone. I don’t deal with the money.”

4. Underdeveloped identity in ultra-wealthy children

   Underdeveloped or overshadowed self-identity is a surprisingly common phenomenon in children raised ultra-wealthy. This is precisely what Kristin Keffeler explores in The Myth of the Silver Spoon. There can be an immense fear of failure – of disappointing the family, squandering opportunity, or losing what has been given to them. Over time, that fear can calcify into a limiting belief, bleeding into other relationships and dynamics, including, perhaps, Burden’s role within her own marriage.

   And perhaps most isolating of all: there is often no safe place to process the emotional weight of wealth. Few people want to hear rich children struggle. Not friends. Not family. Not advisors. Not even therapists sometimes. (See point #1.) Privilege does not eliminate emotional complexity; it often just makes it less socially acceptable to discuss.

5. Too many advisors confuse condescension for expertise

   I had so many thoughts reading while reading the memoir, but honestly? I’m mostly mad at the advisors and trustees.

   I have heard versions of this story from female clients over and over again throughout my career: advisors dismissing women’s curiosity, minimizing their questions, or speaking to them in ways that subtly communicate, you don’t need to worry about this. Only about 30% of financial advisors are women, and only 18% of CFAs — my designation, specifically focused on investing — are women. The industry still has a long way to go in how it communicates with and builds trust with female clients. My friend wrote beautifully about this dynamic in her New York Times piece on the gender gap in investing and financial advice.

   What stood out to me most is that Burden ultimately went against her family attorney’s advice and modified the prenup at “James’” request to keep future marital earnings separate. To me, this has everything to do with trust.

   And this is my soapbox: the financial (and legal, too, apparently) industry often communicates in ways that feel clinical or intimidating rather than relational and supportive. It does not surprise me at all that a young woman in love chose trust in her partner over trust in professionals who may not have made her feel emotionally safe, seen, or understood.

   Financial advice is deeply personal work. Empathy matters. Trust matters. Vulnerability matters. In my experience, clients rarely absorb difficult advice from someone who has not first earned their trust as a human being.

6. But also: Clients only hear what they are ready to hear!

   At the end of the day, it is their life.

   One of the hardest parts of financial advising is recognizing that people rarely absorb difficult financial truths all at once – especially when those truths touch personal matters of identity, marriage, family, etc. Clients tend to hear what they are emotionally ready to hear.

   This is why the client-advisor relationship matters so much. Trust is not built in a single meeting; it often takes years to develop the kind of trust that allows honest conversations about money to truly land. In my experience, the most important financial conversations are rarely about spreadsheets or returns. They are about helping people confront realities they may not yet feel emotionally prepared to face.

   Reading Strangers made me sad for Burden in this regard. I did not get the sense that she had that kind of trusting, emotionally honest relationship with an advisor.

7. Inherited wealth often comes with invisible handcuffs

   One of the most important details in Strangers is that, by the way Burden describes the family wealth structures, she technically does not own much of the money outright. She is primarily a beneficiary of trusts. That distinction matters psychologically, relationally, and legally.

   In ultra-wealthy families, especially those using generation-skipping and dynasty trusts, there are often many layers between a person and the money itself: trustees, attorneys, investment committees, family governance structures, and multi-generational expectations around preserving wealth. A beneficiary may live surrounded by immense wealth while having very little direct control over how that wealth is managed or distributed.

   This is what I mean by invisible handcuffs. To outsiders, immense wealth looks synonymous with freedom. But inherited wealth can also create profound dependency and obligation.

   I think this nuance explains why Burden felt so devastated by her husband withdrawing financial support: access to wealth is not the same thing as control over it.

8. The Kids Are Alright (Financially)

   I obviously do not know this family’s specific financial structures. But based on the way Burden describes the trusts – and based on my own professional experience – my hunch is that the children are likely financially secure. Ultra-wealthy families tend to think in generations, not short-term circumstances, and it would not surprise me if trusts already existed for the children’s long-term support.

   Which is why, while the parental instinct in me recoiled at “James” seemingly cutting the children off financially, part of me suspects the underlying financial reality was more structurally complex than readers realized.

   To be clear, that does not excuse the emotional abandonment described in the memoir. Financial support often represents something larger: love, participation, presence, responsibility. Money is rarely just money.

9. Fair Play the chores, not the finances

   As mentioned earlier, this dynamic is incredibly common: many women still outsource long-term financial decision-making to their partner. And while I know many Finance That Feels readers are fans of Fair Play by Eve Rodsky, I would argue finances are one household responsibility that should never be fully delegated to the other spouse.

   That does not mean both partners need equal technical expertise or interest in investing. But it does mean both people should maintain visibility, participation, and fluency around the family’s financial life. At a minimum, there should be regular joint financial check-ins, like the Money Date. My friend openly shares how her family divides responsibilities, including money management, but I deeply appreciate that she and her husband still sit down together for quarterly and annual financial reviews. Participation is non-negotiable.

10. Financial hyper-agency is a superpower

    One of my biggest takeaways from Strangers is the importance of hyper-agency: the recognition that you have the ability to shape the conditions and circumstances of your life instead of merely existing within them.

    In many ways, the memoir is a story of Burden developing hyper-agency in real time. I think this is one of the reasons the book resonated so deeply with women – it is an empowering story.

    Hyper-agency applies to money as much as anything else. You do not need to become a financial expert overnight, but you do need to remain an active participant in your own life.

11. Women are often taught to blame each other for systems we didn’t design

    One thing that struck me reading the discourse around Strangers was how quickly the conversation became: How could she? How could she not know? How could she sign that? How could she let this happen?

    I understand the instinct. Much like motherhood, wealth and marriage become arenas where women are encouraged to scrutinize each other’s choices instead of questioning the systems constraining all of us. In a recent essay I wrote about how this in-fighting distracts us from the systemic, more consequential issues at hand.

    An important takeaway from Strangers is not simply whether Belle made the “right” choices. It is that women are still routinely socialized away from financial power while simultaneously being blamed for the consequences of not fully possessing it.

Learning the hard way

Money is one of those things that often teaches you the hard way. Relationships do, too. That is part of what makes Strangers such a compelling memoir. Most women will never navigate Vanderbilt-level wealth, but many will navigate complicated power dynamics around money, marriage, caregiving, trust, and agency.

If there is one takeaway I hope readers walk away with, it is this: participate in your financial life. Ask the questions. Learn the language. Stay curious. Build relationships with advisors, attorneys, and partners where honesty can exist. Financial confidence is not about perfection or expertise. It is about remaining an active participant in your own life.

Continue the conversation:

This community exists because of you — your experiences, your honesty, your willingness to go there. The comments are open and I read every single one. Whether you're a mother, not a mother, somewhere in between, or still figuring it out — you belong in this conversation. Drop a thought, a reaction, or just a word. I want to hear from you.

✨ Did any of these dynamics around money, marriage, or identity feel familiar to you?

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

“After the female lays her clutch of eggs, she devotes herself entirely to cleaning and protecting them for months. She stops looking for food... She begins to waste away—senescence, it’s called... By the time they hatch, she’s starved herself to death, or nearly... That’s the best she can do for them.” – Life Cycle of the Common Octopus by Emma Knight

“Giving birth to a daughter in 2020, becoming a mother, and living through a pandemic and social unrest delivered a new perspective: I care. And, I do know some things. What’s the point of it all - the hard work, the enthusiasm, the creativity, the learning - if not to share it and leverage it as a tool to build community and encourage others?” – the first words I wrote for Finance That Feels, September 2020

Senescence of the old self

“Motherhood radicalized me.”

I said that on a panel once. The audience – mostly working moms – nodded and mmhmm-ed in resonance.

The moderator replied, “Me too. Isn’t it interesting that it takes motherhood to change us that way?”

Motherhood did not change how I saw the world. No. Instead, I could no longer contain the fury I felt from being lied to my whole life: The world does not view or treat women equally to men, not even in advanced, liberal societies like the one where I live.

I looked at my milky squishy daughter and felt a fire to protect her. More than that, I would do everything in my power to make the world better for her, or at least to not perpetuate a lie. That buck stops here.

That is how matrescence happened to me.

Dear god – as I am typing this I am learning that matrescence is not in the dictionary.

Matrescence is the process of becoming a mother. “It encompasses a profound, holistic transformation – physical, psychological, social, and emotional – that begins during pregnancy and continues through the postpartum period and beyond.” That is how the National Institutes of Health recognizes it.

In those early days of motherhood a fine line exists between senescence – undoing – and matrescence – becoming.

I wobbled between the two. If you follow me on Instagram you know that I am an open book about my experience with postpartum depression. Thanks to early intervention from medical professionals, I quickly found myself on a solid dose of an SSRI and weekly therapy.

The treatments changed my life. Not only did I heal from the PPD; I cracked open the shell of myself that had hardened over years of shrinking from old traumas and general discontentment with the reality of being an ambitious woman in a world that pretends to welcome us.

I found my voice. It was inside all along. No longer would I passively comply, making sure not to ruffle any feathers. Until then, I literally had a Post-It on my desktop monitor that said “SYM”: Shut Your Mouth.

The other lie

So, I found my voice. I started writing Finance That Feels; now you know why this community is dear to me. As an “online person” I have the privilege of hearing from many of you and learning about experiences far and wide from my own. Here is a shocking truth I’ve learned from you:

➡️ Men often aren’t the problem in the workplace; it’s other women.

Specifically, workplace friction exists between working mothers and childfree women.

Unsurprisingly, there is little-to-no research on this topic. Some literature points to this as “internalized patriarchy.”

Ok…maybe a little. But that also seems like an excuse to not dig into this further and at a minimum hold a mirror up to ourselves.

Men on women, women on women

Women certainly experience discrimination from men and mothers even more so, known as the motherhood penalty.1 Mothers face a “flexibility stigma.” Additionally, colleagues, and especially other women, judge mothers for: working too much, not working enough, childcare choices, breastfeeding vs. formula, and for having ambition or not enough of it.2

On the one hand, mothers are punished in their career progression for needing flexibility (this is documented) and resent non-mothers for having the flexibility of not needing that flexibility. Workplaces often view childfree women as more committed to their work. Research documents that some women leaders distance themselves from mother colleagues and from “caregiving identities” in general (the “sharp elbows” I’ve heard from those of you working in particularly corporate environments.) The workplace rewards “always available” behavior and unconsciously favors women who mirror male career patterns.3

On the other hand, childfree women resent the fact that their personal flexibility needs are seen as less valid than mothers’ and that they often are the ones picking up the slack when a mother leaves during working hours. The resentment and bias makes a full circle: There is evidence that the workplace views voluntarily childfree women as less moral and less favorably overall. The parenthood moral imperative is alive and well in our culture.4 It’s the cherry on top.

Well, ladies, you are damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Maybe that’s what they mean by the internalized patriarchy. Or are we all inherently toxic?

The Birth of Female Consciousness

A couple years ago I wrote:

I do not believe I am alone when I say this: My coming of age experience was intrinsically tied to realizing that being a woman is not innocent in this world. Even in our secular social and economic power structures, women are still marked with the original sin of Eve – we are considered the lesser sex and are inherently distrusted. To the world, our success can only be the result of deceit. That realization was my coming of age, my awakening. It was the birth of my female consciousness.

The woman-on-woman workplace tension captures this distrust. Working moms are not trusted. Childfree women are not trusted. Men don’t trust us. We don’t trust each other.

Currently I am reading Girl On Girl by Sophie Gilbert, about how pop culture turned a generation of women (mine included) against themselves. Data today reveals the impact: Women still only earn on average 85 cents for every dollar earned by a man, a wage gap improvements have flatlined since about 2003.5 After years of workforce participation gains, mothers’ participation fell in 2025.6

The Ugly Reality for Mothers Today

Perhaps more than anything else, the reversal of Roe v. Wade crystallizes society’s skepticism of women’s ability to make the right decision for their own bodies. This verdict’s data reflects damning consequences for women:

• States with abortion bans/restrictions generally have higher maternal mortality rates than states with protected abortion access.7

• Women now are more likely to experience serious pregnancy complications. In restrictive states, legal uncertainty shows increases in delayed miscarriage care, ectopic pregnancy treatment confusion, and delayed emergency interventions. This results in life-or-death consequences for mother and child, including for wanted pregnancies.8

• Abortion bans increase infant deaths by 7-10%.9

• The majority of women seeking abortion fall below the federal poverty line.10

• Women denied abortions experience: increased unpaid debt, lower credit scores, higher bankruptcies and evictions, and higher need for public assistance.11

• 10 of 18 states with abortion bans saw a sharper decline in female employment growth than the national average between 2022 and 2023; 13 of 18 had labor-force participation rates below the national average; and all 18 reported median weekly earnings below the U.S. median for prime-age full-time workers, including women.12

• Women denied abortions are more likely to stay with abusive partners.13

• Existing children of women denied abortions showed: lower developmental benchmarks and greater household economic insecurity.14

Are men or women to blame? To be clear, research does NOT show that women discriminate against women more than men do. But…I don’t really think it matters.

What I know for myself is this:

I didn’t waste away from motherhood. Motherhood gave me the greatest gifts of my life. Not only did I birth my two children, I birthed a fuller version of myself. It all required sacrifice and pain. Nothing about motherhood, or living fully into oneself, is easy. Matrescence gave me confidence to stop abetting the lie that everything is alright, just nod your head and comply. No – I have influence, whether it is within my household, how we are raising our children, or in my workplace or community. Motherhood opened my eyes to the power within me (and it’s in you, too.)

Happy Mother’s Day ❤️

“To the woman He said: ‘I will sharply increase your pain in childbirth; in pain you will bring forth children.” – Genesis 3:16

Continue the conversation:

This community exists because of you — your experiences, your honesty, your willingness to go there. The comments are open and I read every single one. Whether you're a mother, not a mother, somewhere in between, or still figuring it out — you belong in this conversation. Drop a thought, a reaction, or just a word. I want to hear from you.

✨ Did becoming a mother (or deciding not to) shift something fundamental in how you see yourself or the world? What was the moment you felt it?

✨ Have you experienced or witnessed tension between mothers and childfree women at work? What do you think is really driving it?

✨ What’s one lie you were told about being a woman that you’ve stopped pretending is true?

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

Being an investor means staying informed. Living well means knowing the difference between signal and noise. Here's what made it past my filter this month — the ideas, conversations, and questions I keep coming back to, in the ongoing project of a life well-lived.

💸 Money Psychology & Behavior

We Are Living in a Casino Economy

I don’t really lose sleep over investing but if there is one topic that keeps me up at night, it’s this one: AI trading bots and the risk they pose in turning up market volatility and permanent capital loss. This Bloomberg piece is a great read. AI trading bots + the rampant rise of prediction markets…I believe this combo is one of the greatest market risks. Speaking of prediction markets, calls it the Big Temptation Business Model and she’s right. I wrote about the casino economy earlier this year here if you want to read more.

The Fine Line Between Using AI and Being Used By It

Are we optimizing ourselves into oblivion? I wrote more about this sentiment here.

📊 Finance & Econ 101

Investor Whiplash — And Why You Should Stay the Course

It has felt like whiplash out there. Markets dropped sharply in March, then recovered. The S&P 500 is now up year-to-date — a reminder that in the short term, investing is basically a coin toss. Over 20-30 years, the picture looks very different — the chart below shows that investing in a diversified portfolio for 20+ years literally has a 100% probability of being positive. The uncertainty of life is what creates the opportunity for return. That’s not a platitude — it’s the math.

NYC Wants to Tax Second Homes — And the Wealthy Are Threatening to Leave

Research from comparable cities suggests very few actually do. This Business Insider piece walks through what happened when other places tried it. Paris is proposing something similar — a tax on vacant apartments to address housing availability. The politics of wealth, housing, and mobility are converging in interesting ways right now.

Real Estate Prices: A Slight Slowdown

The latest S&P/Case-Shiller data (through February 2026) shows a modest deceleration in home price growth nationally — good news if you’re in the market. Notable: NYC is still up nearly 5% year-over-year. Atlanta, where I’m based, is essentially flat on a one-year basis.

The Mysteriously Missing Brokerage Account — This Is Why the Money Date Matters!

This story is genuinely alarming — and a reminder that even the most optimized financial systems can have errors. Banks and brokerages make mistakes. This is exactly why I preach the Money Date: it’s how you catch what the system missed. I’m also going to start saving year-end statements locally, even when they’re available online. Here’s my Money Date Guide if you want to get started.

What Our Relationship With Taxes Says About Us

A great episode from Anne Helen Petersen with Dr. Ruth Braunstein on Americans’ complicated — and deeply moralized — relationship with taxes, and how that has evolved over our history as a country. Listen here.

💫 True Wealth: Being Human in the Middle of It All

What the French Understand About Money (That Americans Don’t)

I spent the beginning of the month in France on a mother-daughter trip — and it confirmed everything I wrote in this essay. The French relationship with money is less performative and deeply tied to quality of life over accumulation. The financial trade-offs they make — for longer lunches, better bread, more vacation — look irrational by American standards. But maybe they have something figured out.

🌼 On Instagram This Month

If you want the real-time conversation, come find me at @emiliedayanhill. This month we talked about:

• The fine line between learning from AI and optimizing ourselves into oblivion

• Financial trade-offs for a better quality of life — and what the French get right

• Investor whiplash: what the charts actually show

• The AI impact on capitalism — join that conversation here

• Emilie’s practical guide to Paris

• Personal wellness rituals

Thanks for reading. If this resonated, a ❤️ or comment goes a long way in helping my work grow. Find me in real time on Instagram @emiliedayanhill. See you next time.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

The French don’t think about money the way Americans do…and it shows.

Last week I visited my grandparents and extended family in the south of France. Within minutes of arriving, my Opa sat me down at his computer and proudly showed me the family genealogy he has devoted himself to in retirement. It is 709 pages long.

I’m there, on page 23, along with my children, my sisters, my parents, and the relatives I’ve known my entire life – aunts, uncles, cousins. After several pages dedicated to the current generations, the years peel back like a time machine. The last page tells us about my ancestors in 951 AD. Wow.

Years ago my parents sent DNA swabs to a genetic testing company. The results returned with a color coded world map highlighting every place to which their ancestry could be traced. My mom’s results displayed a rainbow quilt-like map of origins spanning from Ireland to Eastern Europe. My dad’s displayed France. That’s all.

He might as well be a French Adam, made of dusty French particles.

A Tale of Two Cultures

My parents’ ancestry results capture much of what makes France and the United States different:

For much of modern history, French identity, and therefore culture, rested on mutual provenance – a shared history of and bond to a common patch of dirt. American identity sprang neither from time nor soil but from shared ideology that spurs the heart.1

In France, Americans awe at the discrete, palpable culture. Stateside, the amorphous cultural spectrum invigorates the French. Here, the defining feature is the absence of unifying norms; it is as if you can be and do whatever you want in America.

Money ideology

I’ve come to believe that if Americans do have a shared ideology, it is money:

More is better

Don’t touch mine

Do not tell me what I can and cannot do with it

In other words, we rally not around who we are as a people but by what we pursue as participants in the economy. We identify ourselves by what we do and achieve.

This American fixation with money came into sharp relief on my recent visit to France.

Why is it that in a country where the per capita income is roughly half of that of Americans, people move through life with apparent ease?2 The first thing Americans tend to notice when in France is the joie de vivre, the genuine enjoyment of life.

I get it – I feel the shift every time I am in France. I have a lifetime of observations. As a dual-citizen, my entire life toggles between these two countries and their norms. I am an insider-outsider in my native cultures, a perpetual fly on a wall.

10 Things the French Understand About Money

Here are 10 things the French understand about money, which in turn influence French life and how they live it:

1. In the US, life is built around money. In France, money fits into life.

   I have yet to encounter a French person whose life motivator is personal wealth maximization. Every French person I’ve ever spoken with has explicitly stated the importance of enjoying life via work-life balance, travel, food, and time with friends and family. Many recognize that salaries tend to be less than equivalent American jobs and it’s a tradeoff they are willing to make. This Reddit thread is point in case.

2. In America, security is something you build alone. In France, it’s something the system supports.

   More individuals can thrive when a social safety net exists in areas like universal healthcare and free education. I have never met a French person who is worried about losing everything due to factors outside of their control like health emergencies or layoffs. They are able to live with ease (see #1 above.)

3. In the US, connection is consumption-driven. In France, it’s built into daily life.

   “Third spaces” are built into French city design. It is not uncommon for the French to enjoy l’apéro (happy hour) or games (cards, pétanque…) in a free place like a public square or park. These spaces create community without revolving around consumerism. When the weather is bad, a lot of hosting happens in peoples’ homes.

4. In America, the point of wealth is to be seen. In France, it’s not to be.

   The French deeply value egalitarian society. This has roots in the French Revolution – it reverberates in the collective consciousness. As a result, I have never sensed consumer FOMO among the French or witnessed ridiculous trends the way I’ve seen in the States. There’s no “keeping up with the Joneses.”

5. In America, more is always better. In France, enough is plenty.

   The experience of living is the point of everything. As noted in #1, the French want above all to profiter de la vie – to enjoy living. As a result, the French tend to be less consumerist, and they aren’t so interested in optimizing every hour into oblivion. Instead of chasing trends, accumulating more, and grinding, they are in the moment, at ease with what they already have, and not obsessed about what comes next.

6. In America, abundance is measured in quantity. In France, in quality.

   Along the lines of enough, most things in France are smaller – homes, food portions, cars. The French know how to choose selectively that which is timeless and made to last. This goes from fashion to food to everything. One or two good coats, not five (even if only for the practical reason that the closet cannot hold five!) The best cut of meat but a small portion. Quality over quantity, every time.

7. In America, waste is normalized. In France, it’s avoided — because the environment matters.

   The French hate to waste. This is in part the reason for #6. But they also care deeply about the environment. Perhaps this has to do with the shared provenance that goes back thousands, not hundreds, of years. A deep commitment to place. They give new life to long-loved items over tossing after one or two seasons. As a result, they consume less, and this is good for the environment.

8. In America, identity is what you do. In France, it’s who you already are.

   Work, or what a person has “achieved,” rarely comes up in conversations. In expressing themselves, it is more about life experiences – meals, travel, the arts or sports, opinions on the national or global state of affairs, even gossip. The French will talk about anything before discussing work.

   As an aside, I realized on my recent trip how the French identify themselves. They identify as where they are from. They do not say they are from that place. They say they are that place. Example: Je suis Marseillaise, I am Marseillaise. They do not say: I am from Marseille. It is a completely different perspective of viewing oneself. As I mentioned earlier about my dad – the French are of a place and that determines everything else. It’s a timeless identity.

9. In America, appearances can be financed. In France, they’re not worth the debt.

   The French have a cultural aversion to debt. Getting a loan, whether for a home purchase or a credit card, is much more difficult than in the States and taken far more seriously. Credit cards are not as widely used by the French as by Americans. In fact, if you are an American traveling in France, be sure to bring your debit card (known as carte bleue) as some establishments do not accept credit. Side note: I wonder how much of the difference in GNI is due to debt leverage. Would love to see a study.

10. In America, wealth is what you have. In France, it’s how you live.

    If achievement and stuff aren’t signs of wealth, what is? The answer is je ne sais quoi. The best way I can think to describe the phrase is as a certain something. It describes the elusive quality of an appealing or charming person – someone who knows something that you want to know. Someone with je ne sais quoi is cool and magnetic. In France, this is wealth. Not money but an aire, an attitude. It is a fluency in the moment – an opinion on the current show at Grand Palais or the dish that can’t be missed at this hole in the wall restaurant (the chef will surely receive a star soon) – in history, and in his or herself.

    Je ne sais quoi is an acceptance of our microscopic place in the scale of time; It is to show up confident anyway, knowing that there will only ever be one of each of us in all of time, so live life fully.

    Je ne sais quoi cannot be bought. Je ne sais quoi can only be gained by living.

Provenance

Last Christmas my family gathered at my parents’ home. My sister had recently returned from France. She delivered a grocery bag filled with walnuts to my dad – “Opa wants to give this to you.”

We kind of chuckled. That’s an interesting Christmas gift. A few weeks later, my dad sent this to the group text:

That’s what the French know. They know that pricelessness is true wealth; that in the end, the richest thing is to be here, now.

xo,

emilie

PS - Headed to France soon? Here’s my Practical Guide to Paris.

Continue the conversation:

➡️ What’s something another culture has taught you about money?

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

About this post:

Yesterday I returned home from a week in France, including 36 hours in Paris. On Instagram several readers wrote to me about upcoming Paris trips and for my suggestions. Given the Paris requests, I decided to publish my Practical Guide to Paris, the tips and recommendations I’ve been sharing with family, friends, and friends of friends since 2013. I update the guide annually after my Paris visits. This update is fresh off the plane, and I am sharing it publicly for the first time.

If you’re in a hurry (but I hope not, as you’ll read below!), there is a link to a downloadable pdf at the end. No narrative, que des bonnes adresses.

In a few weeks I will share a Provence Guide, for the same reasons as above. It is my familial home and where I’ve spent the most time. I am happy to finally give these guides a permanent home online. I hope you use them and feel free to share them with your friends and family.

If you’re not here for France guides, know that I’ll resume my typical posts in a few weeks. I do invite you to continue reading. A part of me hesitated publishing the guides to Finance That Feels. The other part of me believes that travel and place are powerful forces that shape meaning and identity and how we relate to money. These guides are as much about personal discovery as they are about travel. They explore a culture renowned for joie de vivre over consumerism. The guides reflect on what we might learn from the French about living well.

Alors, on n’y va?

Bienvenu à Paris

Should you find yourself in Paris, walk. Walk along the vibrant banks of the River Seine, the hallowed steps of Sacré Coeur, the dusty paths of Jardin de Luxembourg, and in the formidable shadows of Notre Dame. Walk in Paris and get lost. That is where you will find the magic: The transcendent silence in an ancient chapel; The powder sweet smell of a sun-lit alley drenched in roses; the impossibly lush grass in a secret park; The sensuous thrill at le marché. The fact of being lost exists only within our self-imposed confines of time and space. Paris teases our temporal and physical perception. Paris invites you to get lost.

Practical tips for getting around

You will get lost. If you are pressed for time, hop on the Metro. Entry points to the Metro exist every few blocks. Le Metro can get you anywhere in Paris. Unless it’s late at night or terrible weather, I opt for Metro over taxi or Ubers due to traffic. The tiny, non-linear streets congest quickly. This can be a frustrating experience when you realize you could have walked to the destination faster. That is why if you find yourself in Paris, walk. If that’s not an option, Metro.

Important:

• The RER is a completely different train system from the Metro. RER is what you will take if you are going further outside of the city such as Versailles or the airports. It requires its own ticket. Otherwise, be sure to buy Metro tickets (which are less expensive).

• If you are confident on a bike, it can be really fun to ride around the city on a Velib bike. These rentable bikes are widely available around the city.

Logistical Resources:

• This is my favorite, free Metro app. You can coordinate your routes and get estimated times. Apparently it only works on iPhone. Here’s the official Paris Metro app.

• If you prefer to be old-school, Paris Practique maps are the best (this is what we used in my day!)

• It is helpful to have Whatsapp in France. Certain reservations communicate through Whatsapp.

Getting to/from the airport:

Usually you will arrive at Charles de Gaulle (CDG) or Orly (ORY). There are RER lines from these airports to the center of Paris. If you travel lightly (i.e. small bag and no small children) this is a great option. From centre ville you can Metro anywhere.

When we travel as a family, I book private transportation through Shuttle Inter. Depending on how many people and where in the city we are going, it’s about 80-100 euros each way. To me, it’s worth it not to schlep large luggage and small children up and down Metro station stairs (some have escalators and elevators but not all.)

Another option is to book a shuttle bus via Le Bus Direct. Drops off at multiple centre ville locations.

Pointers to make the trip more enjoyable:

• Say “bonjour” and “au revoir” or “merci” upon entering and leaving boutiques – don’t be shy if you have a thick accent. Greetings are a big deal in France, and they will appreciate the effort.

• Accept that the French do not prioritize efficiency and optimization. Be present and enjoy the moment. The service is slow? The store clerk is too chatty with the customer in front of you? If you are in Paris, it is because you are likely on vacation. Relax.

• Savor your meals. Do not be in a hurry to get from one course to the next, or to get the check (in fact, you must ask for the check. They consider it rude to preemptively present it.)

• Learn to flâner and terrasser. These iconic Parisian pastimes involve strolling with no particular destination, to simply be and observe (flâner), and enjoying an espresso or apéritif on a café terrace to people watch, read, or gossip with friends (terrasser.)

• The French bristle at any hint of hustle or urgency. The culture values presence – enjoying life (joie de vivre) – over productivity.

• Respect the locals. Imagine how you would feel if your commute to work or other day-to-day life activities were interrupted because your city is the most visited place on earth. For example, when getting on/off the Metro, don’t block the doors!

• Layer your clothes. It doesn’t matter what time of year. The weather can be temperamental.

• Ignore scammers. Do not even engage or acknowledge them if they approach you. If they say, “do you speak English?” do not respond, keep walking. It feels rude, but trust me on this.

• Tip, some. Tipping is becoming more normal in France. Only up to 10%, though, not the same amounts that we tip in the United States.

• Don’t mistake the 1st floor for the 1st floor. What the French call the 1st floor is what Americans call the 2nd floor.

• Bring your debit card. Many establishments only accept “carte bleue” i.e. debit cards.

• Mind your step. The French love dogs. And they don’t pick dog poop.

Understanding the French (and their maps)

The more I study Paris, I realize the city design reflects how the French think or, rather, why their unique logic seems foreign to most non-French people, specifically those of Anglo-Saxon or Northern European descent. The French tend to think outside of the box, demonstrated by its outsized influence in philosophy, art, food and fashion. I mean, think about cheese. A French person long ago thought, “Hmmm, this rotten milk must be edible! Delicious!” Clear, out-of-the-box thinking. Even France’s greatest scientific contributions result from non-square approaches (such as Louis Pasteur accidentally discovering the concept of vaccination and recognizing the miracle.)

The French think outside of the box because, in fact, there is no box. In France, logic is not linear. The French think in curves and squishy shapes; Circles, and circles upon circles.

Life beats about these circles. All French towns, including Paris, are designed around a centre ville – the epicenter. Everything radiates from that center in expansive circles. The circle is held together by the centripetal force of centre ville. Even neighborhoods within cities have a centre and villages have a centre. The centre ville vitalizes life around it. Cities are not linear or grid-based like in the United States. French cities are circles, and sometimes circles within circles.

Look at the map of Paris below:

To me, it looks like a turtle shell. See how it’s circular, and the city seems to radiate outward from the center?

Paris straddles the River Seine, as pictured above. The city began on the two islands in the river–Île de la Cité and Île Saint-Louis. The Parisii tribe of the Gauls (the Celtic group that inhabited much of what we consider France) were the first known inhabitants of these islands. The Romans overtook the Parisii in 52 BC during Julius Caesar’s Gallic Wars. They called the city Lutetia. By the end of the Roman Empire, the city had been renamed Paris, in honor of its original tribe.

As the city grew, it expanded outward onto land. The numbers on the map represent the arrondissements of Paris. Generally speaking, these are the neighborhoods or districts of the city. In the same way that New Yorkers live in Tribeca, West Village, or Upper East Side, Parisians identify where they live as “in the 1st” or 2nd, etc. Street signs indicate what arrondissement you are in at any given time, as do the last digit (or two) of Paris zip codes. The word, arrondissement, refers to circles: It originates from the French verb arrondir (”to make round” or “round off”.)

The arrondissement organization appears random until you realize it’s in the form of a Fibonacci sequence, like a snail shell. Generally speaking, the lower the arrondissement number, the older the neighborhood (do not be mistaken, in the eyes of an American it is all old.) This is what I mean about expanding circles. There is a method to madness!

The other geographical distinction in Paris is Rive Droite (the neighborhoods above the river) and Rive Gauche (below the river). To help you plan where to spend your time, here’s how I see the city:

Being a Tourist in Paris

The major tourist attractions sit in arrondissements directly along the river, with the exceptions of the l’Opéra and Sacré Coeur. You will very likely spend all your time in the 1st to 8th arrondissements, maybe even 10th and 11th if you’re the adventurous type.

If I only had one day to spend in Paris, here is how I would rank my top 5 arrondissements to visit:

• 6th – Saint Germain des Près, Jardin de Luxembourg

• 3rd – Le Marais

• 7th – Mostly residential but is home to Eiffel Tower, Musée d’Orsay, Musée Rodin, and Les Invalides

• 2nd – Tuileries, Louvre, l’Orangerie, beautiful walking along the Seine

• 11th – A new favorite of mine. Less touristy but vibrant with locals, parks, restaurants, shopping.

Where to stay in Paris:

Hotels and Airbnbs abound in Paris. Lodging in any arrondissements from 1 to 11 is fantastic – walkable and easy to get around town. Earlier, I mentioned my favorite arrondissements. I have stayed in hotels and Airbnbs in all of them. Here are a few lodging options that have stood out to us. I will note that my family prioritizes practicality over luxury for Paris hotels.

Hotels:

• 11th - Hotel L’Antoine. We’ve stayed here most recently and multiple times. Very family friendly. They have suites with adjoining rooms that we use.

• 1st - Hotel le Pradey. Absolutely love this one. We’ve stayed here multiple times. Location cannot be beat.

• 11th - Hotel Marais de Launay. Stayed here years ago but enjoyed it. On the edge of Le Marais.

• 6th - Hotel Jean Bart. Low cost and bare bones but clean and fantastic location.

Apartments:

• My Maison Paris. An apartment rental company we found on Airbnb. They have multiple locations. We stayed at the Sentier location (2nd) and had a great experience.

Museums and Sites

Art:

• The Louvre. My honest take: I don’t want to spend all day in the Louvre. I haven’t been in probably 15 years. My husband has never been, despite countless trips to Paris. Of course, the collection is jaw-dropping – but it will eat up a lot of your time and it is impossible to see the entire museum in one visit (trust me on this.) If you do visit the Louvre, reserve your ticket at least two months in advance to get the entry time you want. I do recommend walking around the courtyard, whether or not you plan to visit the museum.

• L’Orangerie. My favorite. It is not too big and has impressive works such as Monet’s water lilies (breathtaking, every time.)

• Musée d’Orsay. Specifically houses impressionist art. It’s delightful.

• Musée Rodin. One of my favorites, on a nice day, and great for kids because much of it is in outdoor gardens.

• Check out Grand Palais for current exhibitions. They can be incredible.

• Centre Pompidou. For modern art lovers. (Currently closed for renovations.)

• Fondation Louis Vuitton. I still haven’t been but have only heard great things.

History:

• Les Invalides. This is where Napoleon is buried. Lots of military history and, surprising to myself, I really enjoy this museum!

• Musée Carnavalet. Paris history museum. Obviously, I love it.

• Musée de Cluny. A fun medieval history museum.

• The Catacombs. I’ve never visited!

Sites:

• Notre Dame. Similar to my thoughts on the Louvre, Notre Dame is an important monumentn and impressive to see. I do not find it worth the lines to go inside because simply taking in the exterior architecture is inspiring. That being said, I do want to visit the inside now that the post-fire renovation is complete.

• Sainte Chapelle. Highly recommend buying tickets to go inside. The lines are worth it. The stainless glass windows are a spiritual experience.

• Sacré Coeur. I’ve never been inside, but visiting to see the exterior and the incredible views of Paris are worth it.

• Eiffel Tower. It really is remarkable to see up close. My children love going to the top, and I think it’s worth the line. Buy tickets in advance (tried to buy a month in advance this time and they were sold out!)

• L’Arc de Triomphe. Not high on my list, but worth seeing if you are nearby.

• Versailles. Worth it, but one-and-done, unless chateaux are really your thing.

• Panthéon. One of my favorite buildings in Paris.

• Opéra. Stunning and different from most other places on this list. A piece of Haussmann architectural history.

Eating in Paris

Everyone knows Paris for its gastronomy and eating there is an important part of the experience. The gamut runs from fine dining to street food. You will eat great food, and there is one experience you cannot miss: Le Pique-Nique. That is my top advice in Paris: Have a picnic.

A Picnic in Paris

For the picnic, go to any bakery and get “le pain traditionnel.” It is the best baguette. For other food, there are bodegas everywhere where you can buy small foods, such as rillettes, jam, and wine (make sure to buy a small cork screw if needed!) For larger groceries, there are Monoprix and Monop’ (the small version of monoprix), Carrefour, and Franprix.

My ideal picnic is: Baguette, jambon (ham), fromage, salade des carottes râpées, fresh fruit, and chocolate with hazelnuts. A nice souvenir or gift are Opinel pocket knives, sold in many shops, which come in handy for picnics. Laguiole knives are also a favorite. We collect them. Our favorite places to buy are the Laguiole shop on Île Saint-Louis and E. DEHILLERIN in the 1st arrondissement. If you do buy, make sure to put this in your checked luggage on your return home.

Here are my favorite places to picnic:

• Any park, but specifically: Jardin de Luxembourg, les Tuileries, Place des Vosges, Parc des Buttes Chaumont, Park Monceau, Champ de Mars, and behind Les Invalides. Some of the best parks are the ones you stumble upon, like Jardin des Rosiers.

• Along the Seine, specifically on the banks of Île de la Cité and Île Saint-Louis.

Street Food

Best places for street food are:

• Le Marais (rue des Rosiers for amazing schwarma and falafel such as L’As du Falafel)

• The Latin Quarter (especially rue St. André des Arts)

• Marché des Enfants Rouge

• Rue Montorgueil/Rue Tiquetonne/Rue St. Denis (behind the Étienne Marcel Metro station and south of Blvd. Bonne Nouvelle)

• Montmartre

• Any Traiteur Asiatique (get the Bo Bun…delicious)

Restaurants

The restaurant scene in Paris constantly evolves. A few of my favorite resources for finding great spots are Lindsey Tramuta (LINK), David Leibovitz (LINK), and Paris by Mouth (LINK). I’ve found great restaurants via Conde Nast Traveler and New York Times, too.

Here are a few of my favorites recently, in no specific order:

• Perruche (must make reservation. Unbeatable rooftop view of Paris. Lunch is my favorite)

• Le Saint Sebastien

• Chez Janou

• Chez Jeanphi

• Semilla

• Aux Cocottes

• Yam’Tcha

• Le Mermoz

• Cafe de la Regence

• Aux 3 Elephants

• Godjo

• Breizh Cafe for crepes. Otherwise, any creperie along rue de la Gaïte in the Montparnasse area or in Montmartre. A note about crepes: They are not just sweet! A galette is a savory crepe. At a creperie, you have a galette, salad, and then sweet crepe for dessert. Must have apple cider (alcoholic, bubbly and cold, not hot cider like in the states.)

• Chartier (extremely touristy but great for large groups; classic French)

• If you’re young: Le Comptoir General and Rosa Bonheur

• For a little adventure, Le Chalet des Îles in Bois de Boulogne. You ferry across the lake to access it. The kids love it!

• For live jazz, Le Monk Taverne de Cluny on Sunday nights. You can eat there or at a restaurant nearby (lots of crêperies.) If La Famille Brunard is performing that night, you are very lucky.

Paris with Kids

Paris loves kids. Kids love Paris. We started taking our children at 18 months. I prioritize travel skills and adaptability for my kids. It builds their stamina and courage. A big part of travel is coaching them through it. Nothing irks me more than to be around adults who aren’t good travelers. That’s why we started young with our kids. Adaptability and resilience are key life skills and traveling is an effective teacher.

The travel days are hard, but once in Paris it is incredible to view the city through their eyes. The sights, the sounds, the tastes – my kids love being in Paris, even if we have nothing planned and only walk, eat, and visit parks.

When we go with our kids, we plan one “anchor” activity each day (such as a museum or excursion.) The rest of the day is spontaneous. We prioritize parks and street food. Bistrots and Brasseries are kid-friendly. Most of them have a kid’s menu of steak-hâché frites. For a very special treat, we love getting hot chocolate and pastries at Angelina (or any café/boulangerie/pastisserie (bakery).)

A few kid-friendly activities:

• Jardin de Luxembourg – explore the park and rent toy boats at the fountain.

• Carousel at the base of Sacré Coeur (bottom of the stairs by the gondola.)

• Speaking of, take the gondola to Sacré Coeur, then explore Montmartre.

• Eiffel Tower – what kid doesn’t love the Eiffel Tower?

• Boat tour on the Seine.

• L’Orangerie is my favorite art museum with kids because it’s not too big/doesn’t take too long for their attention spans.

• Grand and Petit Palais can have cool immersive exhibitions. See what’s on show.

• Le Marais is great for walking around because many of the streets are pedestrian, and the streets are so tight that cars can’t go fast anyway.

Shopping

Le Marais is my favorite neighborhood to shop, whether it’s clothing, gifts, packaged foods, or children’s toys. Rue Vieille du Temple, specifically. Saint Germain des Près (6th arrondissement) boasts plenty of wonderful boutiques as well. Visit any French pharmacy for beauty products. My favorite brands are Caudalie, Nuxe, and Avène.

Standout Specialty Shops in Paris:

• Mariages Freres – Classic French teas. Visiting the shop is an olfactory experience.

• Marin Montagut – Deserves all the hype.

• Shakespeare & Co. – A landmark for literary types.

• Vintage shops along rue de la Verrerie/rue du Roi de Sicile and le Marais in general

• Laguiole en Aubrac

• E. DEHILLERIN

• Booksellers along the Seine

• Rivedroite

• Repetto shoes (locations all over the city)

• Petit Bateau and Jacadi for kids clothing (locations all over the city)

• Au Nain Bleu (children’s toys)

• Bonhomme de Bois (children’s toys)

Pre-Travel Cultural Immersion

To get in the Paris mood, here are a few resources:

• My French Classics Playlist

• My Cool French Dinner Party Playlist

• A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway

• The Paris Novel by Ruth Reichl

• Midnight in Paris movie

• La Vie en Rose movie

• Amelie movie

• Paris Je T’aime move

• The Only Street in Paris by Elaine Sciolino

• The New Parisienne by

• Markets of Paris by Dixon Long

Bon voyage

Paris is more than a place. It is a feeling. It is a state of existing. Paris invites us to simply be. What a gift, n’est pas? It is enough to simply be in Paris. Perhaps that is why more people visit Paris than anywhere else. Paris changes you. As Ernest Hemingway wrote, “wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast.”

Tell me how your trip goes! If there’s anything I missed or if you have questions, ask away in the comments. I am so excited for you.

DOWNLOAD THE PDF LIST-ONLY VERSION

xo,

emilie

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Subscribe now

Just in case thinking

I chuckled when I saw this meme:

Does your mom do this, too? Bags in bags, just in case we run out of bags.

As Y2K approached, my mom bought a 100lb bag of dried beans, “just in case.” If the system broke and all hell broke loose, my family would have beans for days to survive. (For the younger readers–-back then people worried that computers would reset system dates to 1900, not 2000, at midnight on January 1, 2000, potentially causing global chaos.) I remember the day we finished the beans, at least 10 years later. We teased our mom (still do) and celebrated that the world didn’t end in 2000.

The apprehension of Y2K seems quaint now. Of course systems wouldn’t meltdown at the crossing of 1999 to 2000. How naïve!

And yet, we still worry.

Each year reveals a new crop of existential crises. You know which ones I’m talking about. The world seems to constantly teeter on the edge of…I don’t even know what. The what, the unknown, is risk. And, most of us have a hard time sitting with it.

What is risk tolerance

Every individual has a unique tolerance for sitting with risk. In the literature, as academics like to say, it is generally understood that women feel more discomfort around risk. In other words, research suggests women demonstrate lower risk taking than men. The research assumes this is nature at play, that the reason is inherent to the second x chromosome. However, more recent studies indicate a certain malleability of risk tolerance. It seems our ability to face risk is equally a result of nurture–our formative environments. One study shows that daughters of matrilineal cultures exhibit a higher degree of risk tolerance than those in patriarchal cultures. In patriarchal western society, it is documented that daughters of working mothers are more confident, a key trait for risk-taking. Maybe risk tolerance is more elastic than we realize.

What I see in real life

In my work, I often see that women have an ability to bear risk but a low willingness. This is one reason I believe the wealth and opportunity gap with men persists. At the same time, when it comes to investing it is documented that women achieve higher returns by taking less risk, trading less frequently, and exhibiting greater patience. This is because men are more likely to have a higher willingness to bear risk than their ability can afford. Not to get too deep into the weeds, but the reason there is a wealth gap between men and women even though women on average have better returns is because women, on average, invest a lesser proportion of their assets. For example, women tend to hold more cash, and the higher returns can’t make up that difference.

I know this is getting esoteric, so I invite your questions. This is truly my favorite topic.

The financialization of risk

Money financializes risk. Money trades hands to offload unwanted risk to avoid loss or to assume risk for potential gain. That is the essence of investing. That is why markets reflect our collective perception of risk. When the population senses risk to be high, markets become volatile. Volatility is an inevitable part of markets, because humans are not great at pricing risk. Markets are an inevitable part of life–it’s how we trade the risk we are willing, or not, to bear. The greatest risk may, in fact, be not participating at all.

Here’s the irony of risk: It is inherent to both gain and loss. These are two sides of the same coin. One cannot exist without the other. And, yet, when we perceive greater risk, we do things we wouldn’t normally do…just in case. The 100lb bag of beans. We behave as if risk is not a two-sided coin.

This is an evolutionary response–there is nothing wrong with the feeling. It’s how we’re wired. However! How we respond changes everything. Market risk is different from being hunted by a lion in the savannah. A lion is real. The market is a reflection of us. It is a reflection of our collective hopes and fears. It is a marketplace of risk allocation. The day-to-day fluctuations typically result from shifts in perception. That is where our evolutionary impulse falls short: We often don’t see that the perception isn’t real, it’s often nothing more than a reflection.

This is why the number one rule of investing is to take a long-term view. We have to remove ourselves from the play-by-play because our natural impulse to react will overwhelm us (and we will do things we don’t normally do, just in case… see where I’m going with this?)

Risk is everywhere!

Risk isn’t isolated to investing. Think of the other ways we take risk in life:

• Falling in love

• Starting a business

• Changing jobs

• Becoming a parent

• Going back to school

• Saying how you really feel

• Asking for what you want

• Saying “No”

• Accepting equity compensation

• Helping someone

• Moving abroad (or moving somewhere new)

• Using your voice

• Being vulnerable

Each of these endeavors trades one unknown for another, whether to avoid loss or to gain something better.

Is anything normal?

As I age, I become less convinced that “normal” exists. Specifically, with the economy and markets, no one thinks of the last six years as normal (but look at those returns! Risk/reward is a constant trade off. We truly are not wired for this.)

When I look back on my career (started in 2014), none of those years felt normal, either. We constantly fretted over whether the economy was going this way or that, whether a geopolitical event over there (Brexit is a perfect example) would affect the economy and markets over here, whether society would collapse, etc. I don’t recall ever thinking the economy appeared “normal,” or secure, sustainable, and directionally clear.

It all makes me wonder: What actually makes the economy, or life, normal? What would indicate it? What are we even looking for? And what would “normality” look like in the markets (my gut says uninspiring returns.) Will we always worry because we’re human and because the economy is, well, a reflection of us? Maybe normal is simply the illusion of control.

Unlike surviving in the prehistoric wilderness, we know how to face risks in markets and with money:

1. Spend less than you earn, save, and invest.

2. Stay the course, especially when perceived risk is high.

3. Maintain a margin of safety, but don’t create an opportunity void.

4. Face the reality of risk head on: Accepting and avoiding it both involve risk.

5. Discover yourself–specifically, where in your life is there a disconnect between your ability versus willingness to take risk?

It’s so cliché but we cannot be reminded enough: We only live this wild and beautiful life once. Live it whole-heartedly and GO FOR IT. The big thing might seem quaint in retrospect.

My work involves a lot of theorizing and strategizing about risk in markets. On a personal level, Brené Brown single-handedly inspired me to live more courageously in life. I will leave you with this, from her book Daring Greatly:

“Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection…Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.” – Brené Brown

Thanks for reading.

xo, emilie

A small favor.

If you enjoy this work, please give it a ❤️ down below. That goes a long way in helping Finance That Feels reach new audiences (and gives me a huge moral boost!!) Thank you for being here.

Finance That Feels explores the psychology and mindset behind our financial decisions—asking why we are the way we are with money—and offers tools to help you align your money with your biggest dreams and deepest values. For more regular updates, follow @emiliedayanhill on Instagram.

Subscribe now

DISCLAIMER

The opinions of Emilie Hill are solely her personal opinions and not necessarily the opinions of her employer.  Social content provided by Emilie is for educational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice or an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy any security.