You understand more when you know when to the right moment to say nothing at all.

You don’t understand more by thinking more.

You understand more when you stop overthinking, and start listening to what others think.

You don’t understand more by putting yourself first all the time.

You understand more when you learn to put yourself away for a moment and think from the other person’s point of view.

You don’t understand more by yelling louder.

You understand more when lowering your voice so others want to lean forward and pay attention.

You don’t understand more by being afraid of failure.

You understand more by treating every failure as a priceless lesson to learn.

You don’t understand more by making assumptions.

You understand more by doing things that help break the assumptions you had.

You don’t understand more by asking AI everything that you don’t know.

You understand more by asking AI to ask you better questions that you couldn’t think of asking them alone.

You don’t understand more by living today like it was yesterday.

You understand more by living today like it was the last day of your life.

What don’t you understand in this life?

Here are three lessons that I have learned a great deal from, and they are all about making and learning from the mistakes I’ve made:

1. obsessing over nostalgia

There was one morning when my mom and I were talking about the 80s and 90s of Hong Kong — the so called Golden Age when our culture impacted the whole generation across Asia. We talked about Lesile Cheung and Danny Chan, Chow Yun Fat and Wong Kar Wai. I said those were the good old days, right? If you go around the city and ask, people would agree we have long passed our prime in making waves into music, movies, and styles. The years in the past were simply better.

My mom wasn’t impressed. Even if she was the one who lived through that era.

I could tell there was something my mom had reflected that gave her a mixed feeling about this opinion.

“Both Lesile and Danny took their own lives,” she said.

“And being an artist today who can gain some fame in Hong Kong is so much harder.”

It’s easy to have the false impression that the past was better than today.

When we look back in time, it’s easy to fantasize the goods and neglect the bad. For me, the past means the time before the internet, before smartphones, before 1997. The neon lights, the freedom in the air, the possibilities back then felt real. Nothing from today compares to the what was already gone. But the idea that life was so much better back then was falsely held by people across history. We remember stories told by our parents because we want to believe they are true. We want to believe time in the past was better than the reality that we are living through at this moment in time.

As I grow older, I realize this could well be the biggest mistake that we keep making over and over again. There is no way we could go back in time. It’s better to pay attention to this moment, right here, right now, with myself, and the people in front of us.

2. believing winner takes all

It has taken me a long time to change this notion that I loosely hold in my head. The notion of believing life is a zero-sum game, where there can be only one winner. The winner takes all. Once the game is over, there is nothing left for the rest of us.

This notion came from my experience in sports. I competed in swimming, handball, and fencing when I was younger. I got pretty good at fencing at one point and was selected into the city’s academy and trained four days a week. I remember saying goodbye to my friends in school and traveled to the training facility, stayed until late, went home with a pair of sore arms and legs, and struggled to focus in class next morning.

I just went along with it for a few years without thinking too much about it. I didn’t think about whether I liked the sport or not. Until one night, the coach asked my mum to join us in practice. He pulled us over after the session, and told us that I was being let go from the team and I wouldn’t be part of the team that was going to compete overseas later that year. I didn’t remember feeling sad. Somehow, I felt relieved. I wasn’t winning. That’s known. But deep down, I didn’t want to win. I don’t want to be part of something that can only be one winner. There should be so much more than winning or losing. I treasured the lessons of grit, resilience, and learning to get better at control my body and my mind. But winning the match isn’t something I am driven to do. And the coach wasn’t interested in such mentality.

Then, I have kids.

As it turns out, there can be an infinite amount of things you can do, and there are even more things that you can craft your way out of nothing. Life can be seen as an infinite game that you can play in a way that you can just, well, play, without the idea of winning or losing. I learned this lesson from my time spent with my two kids.

There is no such thing as winning or losing in the game of parenting. You can have the most fun with the kids on Thursday, then they can do something so outlandish that hit your nerves so bad on Friday, and on Saturday morning, they forget it all with a reset and live fully in the present moment with the most joyful smile you have ever seen.

There is no winner or loser in this. There are only lessons, reflections, and memories to be made. I now apply this notion to my work as well. You don’t have to win everything. You don’t even need to think about winning or how to get ahead. If you take a long-term view and see your work as an infinite game that you can do for the rest of your life, you can truly enjoy the ride and nothing can break you.

Become the best in the world at what you do. Keep redefining what you do until this is true.

— Naval Ravikant

3. not knowing when to say no

It’s so much easier to say yes than no.

Saying yes makes us likable, helpful, approachable. It’s in our genes that we unconsciously want to other people to feel that way as our ancestors depended on it to survive in the tribes.

The last thing we wanted back in time was to be neglected or expelled from the group, which means death. So, it hurts both sides when we say no, even if saying no is the better choice in that circumstance.

Saying no to the wrong people in a relationship, saying no to the wrong job in a career, saying no to the things that you don’t want to be associated with — all excellent decisions that can feel like we have committed a crime when we do so.

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made was not knowing when to say no even when my gut yelled no in silence.

The places that I didn’t want to go, the weekends that I just want to stay home, the things that I would rather do alone, the commitments that would have left me feel drained and strained.

I knew that was not for me but I said yes without the courage and decisiveness.

Sometimes, maybe I was trying to please the people that have supported and helped me. Sometimes, maybe I was not thinking things through and the immediacy of that thing forced my hand. Sometimes, it was simply I was not in my best conditions and it clouded my judgment.

Things happen.

But what’s important is to realize all that in life and have the wisdom to forgive yourself despite what had happened. We are human beings after all. Being imperfect is perfect in and of itself. If there can only be one lesson of history, it’s that life isn’t perfect, and that’s okay.

We can live with that.

One of my unexamined thoughts is that I need to go to some foreign, exotic places I am unfamiliar with, to look back on my life, to break away from the day-to-day routine that can easily blind us, and to realize the things that we are searching for are already there around us.

How wrong was I?

I am already here, at my home. All it takes to be inspired and curious is to start looking everything around us like a foreigner. These places, these people, these memories are precious. More they are even more fascinating as I get to experience them with my kids this time around.

Moving around

Bright, clean, and well ventilated subway that come every couple minutes (or within 30 seconds during rush hours), the ferry to get across the Victoria Harbour, trams that take you back in time, and minibus drivers who are that close to make it to F1 — simply taking different public transportation here can be a wonderful adventure that always beats Disneyland.

Walking around

I walk a lot. But my little boy loves to give me that look whenever I keep walking and walking, especially under the summer heat and humidity. “Are we taking a taxi?” He likes to ask.

“What are you talking about? We are just going to head down for some groceries, and we are going to walk there.”

Hanging around

I miss the old Hong Kong, when we still held that tinder beliefs of having the time and space to determine our destiny. Those days were long gone, and I still try hard to figure out how to talk about making decisions, about our rights, about our responsibilities, and about everything in between with the kids as we go catch the sunset while it lasts.

What happened?

Where were you?

Who did you see?

How did you feel?

What were the dreams that happen over and over again?

I suppose I am not the only person who’ve dreamed of falling from heights. I kept falling and falling. I was falling into an endless tunnel. It was beyond vivid, and horrible.

I’ve dreamed of having someone behind me, someone faceless. I could feel that was a he. He was there in silent. I tried running away from him. But I couldn’t move an inch. Wait, is that my shadow that was trying to haunt me? Or, is he trying to tell me something that I should’ve known all along? I didn’t know. I couldn’t know. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t get out. It was a battle between my consciousness and unconsciousness. Then all of a sudden, I had a shock in my body, like being stunned by a wave of electricity. I jumped out of my dream. When I regain my bearings, my hands were uncontrollably placed on my chest, calming my self down as I was half awakened in the dark. I am glad this dream hasn’t come back.

What were your dreams like?

As it turns out, people across time, cultures, languages, and experiences have had similar dreams — be it running, being under water, flying, stuck inside a room you couldn’t leave, having déjà vu, hearing voices from afar that isn’t possible to be heard in reality.

I become more curious about dreams ever since I encounter the work of Carl Jung.

Carl Jung looked at the dreams we had and asked, “What if our dreams are not noise?”

What if they are a language that we all shared? What if they run beneath our thoughts, beneath our personalities, and beneath everything we consciously believe?

As I try to think about our dreams through the silver rule, the question to ask is not what our dreams want to show us, but what our dreams is trying to show us what we don’t want to see.

Our dreams, our unconsciousness, are trying to send us messages that we are actively avoiding.

The pain, the suffering, the discomfort, the shame, the hatred, the fear, the miscalculation, the wrongdoings.

Maybe, my dream of not being able to move an inch despite running with all my strength isn’t about trying to run away from what I fear the most.

Rather, it’s about the subtle burden of making effort that yields nothing in return, and the subsequent disappointment that I would cause to the people that I love the most. My wife, my kids, my parents.

There is no way I would admit that terrible truth in my waking hours. So my dreams, my shadow, myself underneath is trying to let me know what I have been trying to run away from.

The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.

— Carl Jung

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I’ve heard of some people who can know they are in their dreams, and take control.

I haven’t had that experience yet.

But if that ever comes, I will stop running away. I will let go. I will embrace whatever I am escaping from. If I do stop and listen to what my dreams are trying so hard to tell me, I hope I can just sit there and really listen.

All I have to do is to just dream.

How much of our suffering is imposed by the outside world? The heat, the physical pain, the discomfort.

How much of our suffering is imposed by ourselves? The anxiety, anger, fear, frustration. The emotions we experience from the inside.

The latter can be so much harder to deal with.

The modern world is all about making us suffer less—the painkillers take away our headaches, social media takes away our boredom, and the technologies take away the time spent waiting. We couldn’t endure any kind of suffering any longer. We don’t want to wait. Waiting is suffering. Or, is it?

We have been evolving with suffering. Suffering is the element that drives us forward. It is the incentive for innovation. We need to struggle through the chaos, ambiguity, uncertainty, misunderstanding, inefficiency, and lack of direction to get to the other side. If clarity lands in the first split second when we start working on something, what would that be like?

What if you take away from the time needed for the wine to ferment and age? What if I give medicine to my children the minute they have a fever? What if I avoid sitting with a problem inside my head and ask Claude to give me the model answer right away?

Suffering in and of itself is neutral. It is our interpretations of it that give it meanings.

In Buddhism, there is a concept called 慈悲 that has a mixed meanings of mercy, benevolence, and pity. The word 慈, loosely translates as having compassion, love and mercy to both others and yourself; and 悲, is the virtue that you are willing to be present and embrace the suffering within ourselves and others. It is the latter that build who we are as a person.

But don’t worry. You don’t need to just go out there and make yourself suffer.

Close your eyes. Think about what will make your suffer the most. Think about it. And just sit with it for a moment. Don’t avoid it. Take a bit time to sit with that discomfort and suffering. The things that you don’t want to confront. The things that you want to get them out of your system as soon as possible.

Sometimes, all we need to do is to just sit with the thoughts that make us sad. All those things that we have done. The regrets, the mistakes, the fear, the pain. Imagine we were sitting on a bench over the hill, and you place whatever the thing that makes you suffer next to you. You are looking afar at the beautiful view in front of you. And the suffering is being there with you, just being there. It simply exists. It is not going to hurt you. It is part of you. You don’t have to push it away. When the time comes, you will it is not a “problem” to deal with, it is a piece of you that you can embrace.

And you are the only person in this world who is able to do this.

“The first principle is you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool,”

- Richard Feynman

It feels weird whenever I caught myself assuming I know about something when deep down I know I don’t have a clue what that actually is or how it works. This happens more often when my kids ask me about things like why people cry, are there little fairies living in our heads, what stars actually are, why we need to sleep, why don’t you come pick me up from schools, etc. The list goes on.

I tried explaining. Nine times out of ten I got that kind of look. They don’t have a clue what I am talking about. I failed to explain that something clearly to the 5-year-old and 4-year-old. That’s because I don’t know what those things are really. I assume I knew a tiny bit of it, and I moved on.

It’s easier to move on. It’s easier to assume you already knew about something since it’s harder to spend the time and energy to figure things out for yourself. It’s funny to see their reactions whenever I admit to my kids that I have no clue what that is or how that works. I will often say, “okay, let’s find out together.”

How do we know whether or not we know about anything? How do we know what matters? How do we decide what is worth paying attention to and that is not?

Sometimes, I got trapped pondering the notion that we don’t know what we don’t know. And we keep going about our lives anyway, almost feel like being blindfolded.

I start to take a different approach lately. I set my default mode as don’t assume.

I don’t assume I know why people cry, how our brains work, or what happens when we sleep. I don’t assume I know so it takes less courage to ask questions. I don’t assume other people are having the same understanding about something as I do so I take the time to clarify how they define what they mean when they talk about something. I notice this approach works well with my kids. When my little girl told me if she can have ice creams because grandma said she can if she is being a good girl, I will ask her, “how do you define what a good girl is?” It often did two things at once, we can start a converation, and she will forget about wanting that ice creams that will be likely to make her cough again.

Wait, why do I assume having ice creams will lead to a cough?

I was, and still am frustrated with the logic of the words — why on earth 11 is eleven and 12 is twelve when in Chinese they are simply 十一 (literally ten one) and 十二 (ten two) respectively, but when you get to 21, it suddenly makes sense again. Thanks, who even came up with twenty one but forgot to go back to eleven!

Then the grammars — why on earth I can’t say “I go to school yesterday,” when I already said yesterday. The need to change the tense still doesn’t make sense. In Chinese, the verb doesn’t change its form. It is what it is.

I taught myself to uncover the stories and connections between a language and the culture underneath it years later. In school, I failed to see how learning English can open me up to a much bigger world. I was pretty late to the game.

I felt like I was doing horrible at my English writing. At least that was my self image at the time. I didn’t see how I can use this foreign language as a tool to both understand the outside world, and also to understand what is inside of me.

As I look back at the time spent writing here, it makes me reflect on how my education was like, and how I would “teach” my kids to learn English.

When I am going through the textbooks of my daughter who will start primary one in this September, I don’t worry about the technical stuff too much — the vocubulary, the grammar, the sentence structure.

I ask her why she loves reading Peter Pan, Toy Story, and Paddington in English over and over and over again. I would also borrow the Chinese versions of these stories and read them together.

We would talk about the differences between reading the original and the translated version. What makes reading fun? What makes learning fun? Why do we need to learn anyway? Why do we need to think about all these things? It turns to be a much better approach to learn about things, or at least English as a second language.

After a few years of being a dad, and many years of struggling with a foreign language, I have this strangely wonderful relationship with English and I have these few rules for myself as I write, and they apply to how I would talk about writing in general with my kids.

And I would love to share them with you:

1. Don’t use a complicated word when a simple word can do the job

2. Don’t write a long essay when you can deliver the same idea with a shorter one

3. When it is possible to delete a word, delete it

4. Don’t use passive voice where active is fine

5. Don’t force yourself to write, capture it when it flows

Let see how it goes in a few years’ time.

When I say life can be simple, what I mean is that, out of the infinite amount of decisions you can make in life, I often boil them down to three decisions that I called “upstream decisions” that rule them all. Just three. Everything else happens downstream:

1. Whether you enter a relationship with someone or not

2. If 1) works out alright, do you get married, and who do you get married with

3. Whether you will have kid(s) or not

Take a moment.

Think about your decision on these questions.

Most of what you are now experiencing can trace back to the decisions you’ve made around these three things.

Entering a relationship or not, the person you are with, and having kids or not. These decisions carry so much more weight that can alter your life trajectory in ways you might not have imagined in a million years.

So, step one. Don’t complicate things when simplicity rules. Focus on these key decisions and dig deeper on how they will impact everything else that comes afterwards in your life.

Step two. Don’t take what I just said on its face value. Don’t oversimplify the complexity and fluidity in life. Things change. People evolve. Accidents happen. This is part of life. You are not a static piece of plastic, neither do the people around you.

If you decide to enter a relationship with someone, be crystal clear and aware that you recognize and accept that people will grow and change. Circumstances that no one could foresee to happen will happen. Things happen and things sometimes fall apart. What matters is whether you and this person in front of you are willing to adapt, learn, and transcend what comes next and move forward together.

If you decide to be married with someone, commit yourself to it. Your commitment and how you build a relationship through the process IS the reason why your relationship is worth fighting for in the first place.

If you decide to have kid(s), the only thing I can tell you is that it will be completely different from what you would have imagined. So don’t imagine. Trust your intuition, trust your judgment. When you don’t overthink, you can be more open to see how life flows and the rhythm of nature resonates with our souls.

Embrace the complexity in life is difficult, but it’s also what makes us alive.

P.S. Shout out to who nudges me to sort this out from my mind.

The changing, magical colors in the sky. The sun was setting. The smell in the air was so fresh. The vibes around you were perfect. You were in that moment. You couldn’t change any part of that, yet, you wouldn’t need to. This is just the way it is. Even if you could, you wouldn’t change anything.

Why don’t we see more things in life as sunset?

Let’s take my role as a dad as an example.

I think I know more than my kids. I make decisions for them.

The schools.

The courses.

The summer camps.

I want to provide the best that I can offer so they can have a better chance to become the best version of themselves. This is rational. But the problem here is that I forget how randomness plays a bigger role in our lives.

I need to be honest with myself. There are other factors I have no control over at play—the friends they have in school, their teachers, an unforeseen pandemic, some unexpected health issues, an accident.

All the things that can happen in between matter.

I can do all sort of things I want with my kids today. I am not saying I shouldn’t. But this serves as a reminder that it’s nearly impossible to know how my kids will turn out when they become independent some years later.

Let’s think about your most memorable sunset again.

Take a deep breath. Relax. Enjoy that sunset. You don’t need to do anything with it. Just look at the sun go down. All the colors. All the feelings you have with it. It doesn’t matter what other people think. This sunset is unique to you. You wouldn’t want to change any of that even if you could. It is perfect already.

Now, think of your “thing”. It doesn’t matter what it is. Yourself, your partner, your job, your next grand project. See them just like this sunset. Sit back. Relax. Enjoy the moment. Whatever is happening, it’s like the changing colors in the sky. This sunset might mean nothing to others, but it means everything to you. You wouldn’t change any of that even if you could.

My problem in the past was that I focused too much on what I wanted (good health for my kids, how they behave, what I want them to see, or not see, etc.)

I forgot about the beauty of who they already are.

That’s why being a dad was so hard for me. I kept trying to do the impossible. I wanted to change the sunset.

Once I changed the way I think about it, I’m free.

The next time you feel strongly to step into whatever you are to step into, take a moment to think about your sunset.

Is it necessary to say what you are about to say, do what you are about to do, or act in the way you are about to act? If yes, go ahead. If not, sit back and just let the sun go down. You will have another chance tomorrow.

“Don’t do cocaine. Don’t race train to the track. And avoid AIDS,” Munger answered.

This blew my mind.

I didn’t thought about things in such a way.

So much advice out there is to tell you what to do — study for your exams, go to college, get a decent job, have a healthy relationship, have a balanced diet, get enough sleep. The list goes on.

These are all great advice. But Munger approached it differently. He understood that all it takes is one catastrophic mistake to undo all the smart decisions and good work you’ve done.

One bad decision made in the rush, one terrible choice you didn’t want to make, one reckless thought is enough to destroy everything you’ve built.

So, instead of asking “how do I succeed in life?”, a better question to ask ourselves is, “what are the mistakes I can avoid making in life, so I have a better chance to succeed in the long term?”

Grab a pen and a piece of paper.

Write down the sort of things you absolutely do not want in your life. You can easily work backward from that to know exactly what to avoid in your daily life.

For me, I would absolutely hate not having the space and freedom to write and explore things in the directions that I want to go. I would feel so bad if I am all alone and not having my family and friends around me to share our experiences together. I don’t want to live a life where I only live for myself, and not having a sense of significance and contribution to people around me.

From that, I build a writing habit. I prioritize my time with my family and friends. I spend time working on things that I care about and do my best to make an impact.

Having these few things set up right helps me find clarity in life and it’s much easier to say no to things that don’t matter. Life can be so much simpler this way, once you know what to avoid.

It’s sort of that kind of relationship when you have built some trust because of the praise we had received from other stakeholders engaged through the process, and the funder asked more from you, but they seem to forget about the pre-agreed scope of work and the focus on the work. We were expected to give a “fair & complete” assessment to the work they have driven in the local community, but we only found out that a big piece of work done with the locals three years ago existed, until now.

Oh well, let’s moving on. The next task is right around the corner. My take is to do the best in what I have control over. I will think about the next thing afterwards.

i’m feeling lucky

I finished the first episode of the Solved podcast on values.

I did a test on mine and the top value of mine is Self-directional. Well, I knew it already.

notes on walking

Craig Mod created Koya Bound ten years ago.

I came across it recently and knew I have to go someday. My wife and I were on our way tomorrow. It will be a trip with just the two of us since our daughter was born. Our last trip together was back in Jan 2020, right at the start of the pandemic in Asia.

My wife isn’t a walker. This is a test on how well I manage my desire to walk the trail and her mood of wanting to get back to the car.

Here’s an intro to Craig’s book that I love:

Email, calls with your boss, deadlines, the car you drive, the size of your apartment, taxes, a five-year plan — all of these have one thing in common when you’re out on a good walk: They’re less important than sensible shoes. Thomas A. Clark knew this when he wrote his poem In Praise of Walking. And it’s an attitude we tend to adopt when out in the woods.

The Kumano Kodō is a pretty good walk. Maybe even a great one. Many of the dirt or cobbled paths (ishi datami) that form the Kumano are enveloped by nature, and their historical arcs reach far back in time. Parts of the walk have imperial connections. Others align with common folk. There is an easy authenticity to what’s left behind: An eight-hundred-year-old marker here or there, the stone foundation for a tea house long since decayed, a grove of trees planted as a wind-break five-hundred years ago, looking now like gnarled fairy tale creatures. And although the Kumano Kodō is comprised of several disjointed routes all radiating from the Kumano Hongu Taisha shrine, you can, like us, connect their pieces in a meaningful, somewhat linear, way.

link dump

a cool phone

what I can’t get out of my mind lately

a library that reframes what knowledge can be

I got carried away with my emotions on this one, but it’s nice to take a break from my book writing journey to just write a post. this reminds me of the early days when I were here, writing, questioning myself, reflecting, and learning as we go.

It’s great to have you with me.

have a lovely week, folks

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

Joseph Campbell

We wake up, get dressed, and go do our things out in the world.

We don’t think much about it as if we are on autopilot. After all, who would prefer to spend the first 15 minutes of the day to meditate about his worst fear, only to find nothing but shame, embarrassment, and regret inside that dark cave deep inside our hearts?

Our brains are hardwired to avoid pain. It is in our genes. We evolve and pretend nothing’s wrong. No one wants to face our worst nightmares.

Yes, we lie to ourselves, “Oh, there is no problem.” “Everything’s fine.” “That was great.” “It’s all good.”

The cave gets darker and darker each time we choose to pass it entrance. The fear grows and takes root.

When the general rule is to do what feels right for you, you avoid going into that dark cave because you don’t want to get hurt. You don’t want to burden yourself with sadness, pain, or anything negative. We want to keep moving. We want to direction. We want actions. We keep things the way they are. Life goes on. Everyone’s happy.

But the problem here is not about the what, but the when. When will the darkness in the cave grow to a certain point that one day when you wake up, you can’t no longer avoid facing it? It outgrows you. It swallows you alive and hits you like a brick in the face. You don’t know what it is, because it is all dark. You tried to take a peek, but without light, there’s nothing for you to see. Our ignorance and the unwillingness to face our fear breeds more fear.

Let’s try something different this time. Instead of avoiding, we go the opposite direction. We are heading down to that cave.

Slow down, stop running inside your brain, take a seat, breath, and go inside you.

You don’t need to go anywhere else. you are already here.

Close your eyes, listen to yourself. Talk to yourself. It is empowering when you start searching for that inner voice that only you are able to listen to. It was better than any podcast out there. Slowly, it feels like lighting up a candle in that dark cave. You start exploring. Bit by bit, the fear recedes. It gets just a bit brighter. The light wobbles but you shield it with your hand. You see things you’ve seen before. You recall long lost memories. You connect those random thoughts in your mind. You feel more confident. You open your eyes. And it is a brand new day.

“don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.

Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow know what you truly want to become.”

Steve Jobs

I turned away, not knowing how to cope with it all and the next moment I went looking for her, she was in bed and fell asleep, with tear marks on her face.

I remember the line by Esther Perel where the quality of our lives depends on the quality of our relationships. It threw me into the abyss of pain and regret. I must have just ruined the relationship with my girl. It stayed with me the whole night and I had a terrible sleep.

The next morning, lying in bed, feeling like being punched all over my body. I looked over to my daughter whose bed is right next to ours. She was still asleep. And I said to myself, okay, I can do so much better. I got out of bed, drank some water, stretch, and wait for her to wake up. I heard her voice. I went over, sat next to her, her eyes were wide open, still lying in bed. I put my one hand on her face, cuddling her with another, and told her, I am sorry.

The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships… which are basically a reflection of your sense of decency, your ability to think of others, your generosity.

- Esther Perel

Ever since that happened, I’ve been thinking about how tired it is if we are constantly putting a grade on ourselves for the quality of our relationships. I believed the straightforward answer to a good life is to nurture our relationships — treat others in the ways that we want to be treated. Love in the ways that we want to be loved. Care in the ways that we want to be cared for. Help in the ways that we want to be helped.

I’ve lived by this rule.

But as time goes by, I realize the problem with this approach is how we are rationally thinking about our relationships as if we are talking about science and math. Time + Love = Happy relationship. This doesn’t work well for me.

Last night, I brought this up again and asked her why she didn’t say anything when I asked her for a shower. She said she wanted to wait for mommy to wash it for her. Oh no. How could I not know this? Rule number one to nurture our relationships is to stop destroy them in the first place. Stop messing it up. Stop being stupid and hurt others’ feelings. This includes my five-year-old daughter who has every right to refuse washing her hair before a haircut by her dad and doesn’t tell her why. That’s okay. It hurts so bad when I assume everyone does things my way and force it upon someone else.

It’s great to have a few rules to guide us to a better life. But it’s one thing that we know what is good for us. It’s another thing when we are actually out there living our lives. These days, I lean more towards the notion that the quality of life does depend on the quality of our relationships, it does not mean a total dependence. Our relationships are fluid and ever-shifting. We will misunderstand each others, we will get tired and frustrated, and we will need to rest. Try not to make life and our relationship become something we need to win over all the time is equally important to live a pretty good life. Next time, I know exactly what I should NOT do.

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I’m writing my book here in public for you, my friends. Thank you so much for being here with me. My plan is to publish the chapters live as I complete the manuscript. I’ll keep the bi-weekly schedule, and hopefully share more than one chapter in some weeks. Let’s see what I got by the end of the year. And I’ll take care of the rest of the stuff later.

Water becomes the glass.

You pour the water from the glass into a bowl.

It becomes the bowl.

Bruce Lee captivated my heart since I was little with this quote as we should strive for flexibility.

Be formless and adaptive to the changing environment around us.

Yet, before we think of ourselves as formless as water, how do we know if that’s what we want to be?

We are not water, after all.

We are human beings.

I didn’t see the possibilities when I was younger. It wasn’t that I lacked imagination. It was more that I limit myself before I could fully express who I am in my wildest dreams. I followed Bruce and I poured myself into a glass.

Let’s think of yourself as a glass of water.

Now, pour the water (yes, that’s you) from the glass into a bowl.

Be water is a great piece of advice, but only to a certain extent. The prerequisite is that you first need to know what you want to become.

Because if you are not being conscious, you are only becoming something else. The glass, the bowl, or whatever that is holding you. But that’s not you.

If you are not being conscious, life will pour you into all kind of vessels and you would have no idea of who you are.

So, in recent years, I stopped listening to my hero. I love him still. But I started to reinterpret what he said. We can be water, but this time, I can zoom into the atomic level and be the water molecules that constantly interact with the world around me with such freedom and fluidity. Or I can be part of something so much broader than myself and become the river, lake, and ocean that nurtures the lives around me without the intention to take any credit from it.

Indeed, now I knew it was me that limited my imagination to only think of a glass.

So, if you can. Don’t be water, my friend.

I was about to finish my Associate Degree at a community college just outside Seattle.

My mom called.

She told me it was time to come home. We couldn’t afford the tuition fee to continue.

I didn’t manage to get a scholarship or anything. So, I came home.

I started working at some random jobs—clubhouse at a large, newly built real estate in the far end of the city, delivering pesticide-loaded plants to offices and mansions around Hong Kong, at one thing, throwing luggage onto planes at the airport. Clearly, I was deeply lost.

By the time, I knew I wanted to finish my study. I enrolled in a local university, and three years later graduated with a degree in accounting and finance.

When I was about to finish college, I interned at a global accounting firm. I followed the Golden Rule—figure out what I want to do, then do it.

And here I was, working on income statements and balance sheets for some publicly-listed companies that I didn’t care if their quarterly revenues were right or not. I had the ingredients to be an accountant or financial analyst. I love math, economics, business, and finance. That’s why I picked that path, believing the business world was the path for me.

But I never asked myself: What are my values? What would make me sad? What will I avoid at all cost? What are the things that I would regret doing the most if this was the last day of my life? What are the places that I absolutely don’t want to be at?

I didn’t ask myself any of that before I set foot on that path.

All I asked was, “what do I want to do?”

The problem with this question ties back to the infinity problem.

There can be an infinite number of path that could be considered as “good for me.” But you can only take one path at any given time, even if the possibility is indeed, infinite.

Yes, accounting was a default path. But there are so many other potential paths I could take, and there was no way I could compare how taking an alternative path might turn out for me.

I just wouldn’t know, because they didn’t happen.

So, the lesson is that whenever a path presented to you is well understood by most people and defined as a clear, straightforward path. Remember this, it is only one out of the many paths you could take. There is always another way for you to become a better version of you.

This chapter is obviously inspired by .

A friend once told me he hasn’t been having the best sleep in recent weeks. A few things immediately jumped to my mind.

“Have you been using your phone before bed?”

“What could be the things in your life that are causing the stress?”

“Let’s look at the sleep data from your Apple Watch together.”

There is an infinite amount of ways of doing good in this world. Or, according to the English physicist David Deustch, who suggested that there are even multiple universes, or multiverse, you can come up with countless wonderful ideas that sound useful for someone else.

But no matter how good your ideas might be, it’s most likely not what the other person wants.

I assume the notion of this book is good for you, because it’s good for me. But what works for me might make you sick.

I tried fasting when I was taking care of two toddlers at home while working a full-time job in London. Great health advice. Very bad timing.

In hindsight, what I needed was an adequate source of energy and a fully loaded stomach to handle the physical and mental work on hand. Without taking reality into account, I quickly felt ill and the situation eventually led to the decision of leaving the UK and returning to Hong Kong.

This has been my biggest lesson of only taking a good idea at its face value without critically reviewing one’s actual context before incorporating a seemingly nice idea in life.

Since there is an infinite number of ways of making assumptions of why you should follow a particularly fantastic advice, it takes an equal amount of energy for us to pull ourselves back, with empathy to think from the other person’s perspective.

That’s why “being-in-someone’s-shoes” is so much easier to be said than done.

Just try it.

The next time you hear someone sharing any challenges, concerns, struggles, frustrations, or chaos they are experiencing, try to be intentional and not to say anything.

Not even a word.

Just nod, and listen.

It will take the energy of the entire universe, or universes, to keep yourself from giving all those wonderfully biased advice that doesn’t help the other peorson at all.

And this awakard silence might be exactly what this person in front of you needs.

I’m writing my book here in public.

My plan is to publish the chapters live as I completed the manuscript. Let’s see how far I can go by the end of the year. And I’ll take care of the rest later.

Thank you so much for being here with me.

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Dear friends,

I finally get started writing my book.

Deep down, I have no clue what I want to write or what I want to achieve. I’ve never been the type who is ambitious or goal-oriented. I never set a deadline for myself for anything. I guess I’m getting pretty good at making excuses for myself. Call it procrastination, my artistic tendency, or down right lazy.

Over the past few months, one thought keeps coming back to me that is not related to the content of my book, but on how I want to write my book.

How can I actually have fun in this process?

The actual work of putting words down onto a page, editing, dealing with publishing work, more editing, getting the ISBN across, and all the formatting and coordination in between is, well, tough. I am not aware of any writer who isn’t hurt in some ways through this process.

“If I wanna write, I wanna write comfortably,” I whispered to myself.

If my years of Buddhist studies have taught me anything, it is that suffering is not the path forward.

You don’t have to go to the desert or lock yourself up in a cave to finish writing a book. I want to make this as smooth and enjoyable as a ride for me so that I have a better shot to keep going.

The idea is to make this as effortless as possible so I can’t find some random excusesto just give up after 3 months.

Leave a comment

“Invert, always invert,” said Charlie Munger.

Charlie loved talking about the power of inversion, the idea that you can better solve a problem when you approach it in reverse.

Counter-intuitively, it’s easier to think about what you don’t want than what you do want.

Let’s hear it from Charlie:

Problems frequently get easier if you turn them around in reverse. In other words, if you want to help India, the question you should ask is not ‘how can I help India?,’ it’s ‘what is the worst damage to India and how do I avoid it?

A lot of success in life and business comes from knowing what you want to avoid: early death, a bad marriage, etc.

Okay now.

Instead of thinking through my ideal writing journey, I turn things around and imagine what are the worst things that will destroy my writing.

Here we go:

1. Staring at the screen, feeling all anxious, lonely, and depressed, and asking myself “why did I even get started? I am such an idiot.”

2. A packed calendar that prevents me from writing when ideas strike at the most random moments

3. Fixating my writing on people who might never resonate with my ideas

4. Owing people favors

5. Not being in control

6. Feeling all tired, burnout, and quit

From the above, I set up the following rules:

1. Don’t start writing on a laptop. Write on my physical notebooks with a nice pen as my default. Only move to the laptop after I have written down some ideas around what I want to write.

2. Don’t schedule a in-person meeting when it can be done via email or phone. If possible, no more than 2 meetings per work day. Set 1 “no gathering” day on the weekends every month. (I am still trying to figure out how all my weekends went)

3. Don’t write something that I would not want to read in the first place. I am writing this for myself. People who resonate will find me.

4. Never ask for editing and publishing related work for free. Pay for people’s time and effort.

5. Don’t give up control of the book, even if I don’t have a clear view of what it might look like in this publishing journey.

6. Never force a word, a line, or a paragraph through. Let it flow.

Join me on this journey

That’s it.

This is what I am thinking about when I am thinking about my book-writing journey.

Let’s see how far I can go by the end of this year. These rules will serve as my compass on this journey. If I am lost, I know how to find my way home.

With that, here is Chapter 1 for you.

- Franco

The Silver Rule

About this book

This book is about reframing the rules—frameworks that guide what we believe, how we think about things, and the actions we take--and offers an alternative perspective that opens up new possibilities.

I’ll adapt the silver rule to talk about what the Silver Rule means to me. First, let’s talk about what it isn’t.

Let’s begin.

— Franco Wong, Hong Kong, 2026

Part I. The Golden Rule

Chapter 1

"Treat others in ways that you would treat yourself."

“How should we treat the people around us?” A disciple of Confucius once asked the great educator.

“Treat others in ways that you would treat yourself,” he said.

Well, how about you? Would you treat others in ways that you would treat yourself?

It depends who the “others” are, right? For the people you love, you would treat them in a very different way from the strangers. It’s natural to care a lot less for some strangers who lives on the other side of the world than a close friend you have known for years.

Sometimes, I don’t even know how I am treating myself. To what standards should I treat the people around me then? Do I even know what other people want?

When it comes to thinking about how we should treat others, things can be bizarrely counter-intuitive, highly contextual, and culturally biased.

For me? I can be polite but sometimes I do ignore people, especially when I am in the middle of writing a chapter of this book. For a single mother who is struggling to feed her three young kids, don’t even expect she will care much about what you actually think.

This brings me to rethink the notion of the Golden Rule—we assume what’s good for us, and we act upon it. It’s easy to make assumptions about all these good and proper ways—from treating others, behaving ourselves, or do almost anything. But our assumptions can easily be wrong.

It’s easier to forget how we have our perspectives and to mentally blur the line between what’s actually good for you, and what’s actually good for others.

Now, let’s talk about the Golden Rule from yet another perspective.

What’s next?

My plan is to share my manuscripts here as I go. The biggest lesson I’ve learned through writing over the past few years is that you will discover something you’d have never expected along the way, if you allow the space for yourself to be free, open, and empty.

I wanna thanks and so many more writers out there who inspires me every single day with your words. I would’ve never imagined I’d attempt writing a book just a year ago. So, who knows what is going to unfold if we just keep going and living this life that we have.

If you have any thoughts, advice, feedback, and questions for my writings, don’t overthink and please leave me a comment or send me a message. I really need to hear them.

1. Tell us about yourself and what’s on top of your mind.

   I’m someone who loves people and design—I have a knack for all things related to human behavior and psychology. I’m also obsessed with beautiful things, especially when it comes to design, interiors, furniture, typography, and books. Right now, I’m exploring what really matters in life after leaving my last startup, which was an offline social network connecting people through secret dinners. I’ve been traveling, reading, writing, and having lots of deep conversations—trying to ask the right questions and find some answers for myself.

2. How do you feel at this moment in life?

   At peace, but also full of curiosity and excitement. It’s like having a blank canvas in front of me—one that I get to fill with endless possibilities.

3. What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from your parents?

   Generosity and empathy from my dad. He was a Chinese doctor and a wonderful friend to many. I grew up with plenty of dinner parties thanks to his warm hospitality, and I often saw how compassionately he treated his patients, especially those struggling financially—sometimes he’d even waive their consultation fees.

   Resilience from my mum. She’s a true fighter. I saw how bravely she faced cancer a few years ago, along with all the ups and downs of life. She always makes sure everything is okay.

4. What have you experienced that has changed the way you live?

   Being sick and having to take a long sick leave earlier this year really changed my perspective on life—it made me realize how fragile life can be. I still found myself in tears watching The Oxford Year, because it so beautifully portrayed that same sense of fragility and how quickly life passes by. I’ve since learned to live more carefree and be more present in each moment—because at the end of the day, it’s truly the moments and memories that matter. That’s when you know you’re really living.

5. How do you define happiness?

   To be content. Happiness is made up of all the little moments that bring joy—a child’s smile, a playful kitten, a delicious drink, or seeing the sun after some cloudy days.

6. Who is your favorite writer, and why?

   Honestly, I don’t have just one. I love writing that comes from collectives—like Kinfolk, MONOCLE, movie screenwriters, and K-drama writers. More recently, I’ve been drawn to Melinda Gates and her latest book, The Next Day. I love words that heal. Like they can speak to your heart. They understand life.

7. What question would you ask?

   I’d ask Melinda: How do you cultivate grace and hope no matter what happens in life?

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“… it made me realize how fragile life can be”— don’t we all feel the same way after the devastating fire in Tai Po?

I wonder why we often take things for granted and forget to appreciate how fortunate we already are. Life itself is a miracle. This present moment when we are connected with these words is a miracle.

Once we internalize that, we let go of what doesn’t really matter. We start loving ourselves and the people around us better. Thank you so much, Karin, for sharing your thoughts with us.

That’s it! Thanks again to and Karin.

It is a privilege to spend time with some of my favorite writers here through our words.

Whenever I am feeling unsettled and anxious, I’d go back to these conversations. They never fail to remind me how others are also living their lives, trying to figure things out, and doing their best in this very moment. With that, it brings me home. We are all on this journey that we called life. After all, how different are we, really?

Thanks to you as well for being here. I hope you enjoy this series as much as I do. Do check out the work of these writers. Drop them a message to say hello. Oh yes, if you may, share these conversations with your friends too.

Franco’s Newsletter will resume its biweekly schedule.

See you in two weeks.

- Franco

You can find all the previous series below:

Every time I come back to his quotes, I can find calmness, peace, and hope.

The Daily Wisdom Quotes

Let's become wiser, together, one quote at a time.

By Maxime

1. Tell us about yourself and what's on top of your mind.

My name is Max and I'm from Montreal, Canada.

I'm a father of two, a husband, a reader, a runner, a chess player, and a lover of nature and bananas.

I also have a huge interest in psychology, education, and human potential.

My day job is a software engineer and data analyst in the healthcare industry.

My side job is a website called wisdomquotes.com, which has thousands of quotes on many different topics.

But it's mainly on inner peace, happiness, and wisdom.

Finally, I also self-published a book called Inner Peace on Amazon in 2024.

2. How do you feel at this moment in life?

I'm feeling great. Thank you for asking.

Over the last few years, I've learned to tame my expectations of how life should be.

In other words, I've trained myself to accept more and judge less.

I've read many books and authors (Eastern philosophies, Western philosophies, stoicism, etc.) that helped me stay calm and peaceful most of the time.

Of course, my life is far from perfect, but I'm mostly unbothered by what happens, yet responsible.

3. What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from your parents?

From my mother: she taught me the importance of generosity, of giving (energy, time), of building your own path in life.

From my father: he taught me the value of freedom, independence, solitude (he was a trucker), and money.

On the flipside, he also taught me to take care of my health (by NOT being healthy himself).

He died of lung cancer in 2022. He has been smoking since the age of 17.

4. What have you experienced that has changed the way you live?

In 2004, I lost my girlfriend in a car accident.

I was 22.

It was devastating, and I felt depressed for almost 10 years.

In sum, and in total honesty, it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have discovered who I was (or at least, it could have been much longer).

It also showed me one of the most important skills: knowing the value of things (what's important vs what's not important).

5. How do you define happiness?

I've heard many great definitions over the years (when building my website wisdomquotes).

Here's my top 3:

"Happiness is a state where nothing is missing. Naval Ravikant"

"Happiness is a direction, not a place. Sydney J. Harris"

"Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes. Charles Dickens"

But for me, true happiness is realizing you can't be happy all the time, and you're fine with it.

In other words, making happiness your main goal in life is a trap. It's foolish.

Better just move forward, doing what you love most of the time, and don't care too much about it.

Nothing is static in life. And happiness is not static either.

As Anaïs Nin once said:

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. Anaïs Nin"

6. Who is your favorite writer, and why?

I'll name 3:

Marcus Aurelius. Because his book "Meditations" is always open at home. And every time I open it, it inspires me and makes me think deeply. It also reminds me of the importance of self-control and responsibility.

Jonathan Haidt. Because I couldn't put down his book "The Anxious Generation". I believe it's one of the most important books of our modern and addicted generation.

Michael Easter. Because I couldn't put down his book "The Comfort Crisis". It was a nice mix of adventure and journalism, and for a topic I care deeply about: addiction.

7. Imagine this writer was standing in front of you and you could ask one question, what would you ask?

Marcus Aurelius: Can I take a selfie with you? Just kidding. I hate selfies.

Can I pay for lunch?

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Maxime’s honesty and his willingness to be vulnerable about what he has been through shook me to the core. I have been silently asking myself what kind of person I want to be for my friends and community, what kind of parent I want to be for my kids, and what kind of husband I want to be for my wife.

The answers are already in my heart. All I need to do is stop thinking and start feeling them. It’s a pleasure to get to know you, Maxime.

Last but not least, we have Karin.

See you next week.

- Franco

NewKid

Conversations with parents about education and AI.

By Mathilde Baillet

1. Tell us about yourself and what’s on top of your mind.

I am Mathilde, I am 37. I am the mom of two beautiful humans - my life coaches aged 4 and 6. After a decade building products at the intersection of tech x ecommerce, I am launching NewKid, a podcast and a newsletter where I sit down with parents and explore what it means to raise our children today. Technology changed us. AI will change our children. Well, how do we make sure—as parents but then, as a society—that it will be for the better?

I’ve always enjoyed writing. I love learning new languages - lastly Portuguese, solving human drama, motivating people to get started or keep going, organising [enter whatever], swapping homes, a good laugh at the café-théâtre, smiling at people while running (try me during a marathon^^), singing this song, dancing on that one, baking tiramisu or Vietnamese soups, playing Peixinho with my boys, hosting friends, disagreeing with friends and laughing about it, swimming hours in the mediterranean sea, riding our long-tail bike with the music on and the kids singing out loud, realising we’re all being present in the moment, traveling with my three men around the world, telling loved ones I love them, moving in to a new country. And a lot more.

Beyond any particular achievement, two things really make me proud : having surrounded myself with radically loving and ambitious people across the years and the world. And having nourished a sense of adventure, that kept on growing even with my two young kiddos in the picture.

That, is a freaking long intro! Haha.

Now on top of my mind these days: what is the best use of my energy and skills, in service of a New Education, whatever this is? How can my project NewKid have a bigger impact, feel less lonely? It’s the first time I am going solo and man, what I know is that I need other souls to ping pong my energy back to me on a regular basis (no clue if this means anything in english but you get the idea)!

2. How do you feel at this moment in life?

I feel loved. (and love - a bit like this). From my two little men (may this last forever), their father, my friends - old and new, my extended family. More often than not, I find myself pausing in the middle of a daily scene, realising how precious this random moment is ; cherishing all we have, the doubts, the chaos, the noise, the mess ; just falling in admiration and gratitude for how our little family is growing.

I feel frustrated. Like I have this great deal of energy to offer to NewKid, and I have simply lacked the time, bandwidth and (IRL) connections to put my ideas in motion at the pace I’d have loved to.

I feel blessed. We’ve made tradeoffs this past years, working towards a new life adventure for our family, and it is finally happening - more soon 😊

3. What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from your parents?

Last month, I wrote my parents a love letter.

It was messy, emotional, but well, this was a love letter, not an essay.

I read them out loud in between two meals, at the delicious restaurant we had chosen for my mom’s birthday.

I wanted to thank them for two traits they imbue and that I’m joyfully making mine: unconditional support for your children, and a sense of togetherness that we call convivialité.

My parents are two very judgmental people. Coming from very judgmental families. Etc. (Me? Judgmental? Come on.). This means they have principles. And they can take a hard line on something. But - they are able to talk. And even change their mind.

When I was seventeen, they made it clear they would disown me if I’d ever come home with tattoos. A couple years later, my boyfriend (now husband) came back with his first one (the first of a long line): they froze. And we talked. They expressed their biases. And they ended up being just fine. I now have tattoos. My younger brother’s arms and legs - their own son - are covered with tattoos. He even tattoos himself and his friends. Talk about disowning.

So yes, they will not let differences in point of view break our relationship. This, to me, is a great deal.

4. What have you experienced that has changed the way you live?

Spring 2009. I am wrapping up the 2nd year of business school, and about to step into a ‘gap year’. What’s at stake is getting an internship within the most prestigious firms, laying the foundation of your resume and thus the omen of a great life (no kidding). All my friends have now secured their six month stage in renowned firms in Paris. But there’s no way I’ll work in Paris. I am not even searching. I want to work overseas. I apply to this role in Singapore (not even sure where to pin Singapore on a map). I get an interview. Followed by a rejection email. Duh.

Another day, I would have sent “duly noted, thank you”.

That day, I sent “why?”

This insignificant, tiny word changed the course of my professional life.

The answer that followed - and that I would have otherwise never gotten was “I wish I could hire you, I simply don’t have the budget anymore”

Three months later, I chased her “how is your budget looking?”

She said “let’s do this!”.

Four weeks later, I was on the plane to Singapore ; to what would become - still feels today like - my second home, the place I became my adult self. The beginning of the rest of my life.

Getting that internship completely flipped the way I’d later approach most things in my life. Later on, when I was the one hiring for my company, I can tell you I’ve valued audacity, persistance, foot in the door.

Funnily enough, Kev’s grandad had also taught him this wisdom, that we could summarise as : when you ask, the only thing at stake is a yes.

5. How do you define happiness?

Ancient wisdom, with my own words: cherish the now, be kind on the past, be excited about the future.

yesterday : you did the best you could with the information you had at the time, so be kind

now : live fully, be present

tomorrow : everything is yet to be done, allow yourself to dream (big) and work toward it

I also very much relate to Epicure’s words for a fulfilled life : friendship. freedom. thoughts.

6. Who is your favorite writer, and why?

Tough one!

Alain de Botton is one of my favorite contemporary writers, most probably because his books blend classical philosophy with contemporary issues to offer guidance on modern (yet eternal) challenges, such as status, love, happiness. You might know him for he co-founded The School of Life, teaching practical wisdom for personal and societal well-being. Status Anxiety is one of his most acclaimed book ; I once made a summary here, if you’d like to have a taste of it 😊

OK allow me to add three more people to the list.

[essayist] Freya India, for it is so refreshing, eye-opening and hopeful to read GenZ’s own thoughts on youth, not just older generation complaining about how youth is lost without experiencing its actual challenges (like it’s always been).

[psychotherapist] Esther Perel, for she’s, to me, one the smartest voice on human relationships. Cause, yeah, who are we humans without our relationships? I can’t recommend enough. Maybe start with one her interviews [like this one].

[philosopher] Charles Pepin for he’s making philosophy accessible, exploring topics we should stop sweeping under the rug, like The Virtues of Failure or Living with Your Past: A Philosophy to Help You Move Forward.

7. Imagine this writer was standing in front of you and you could ask one question, what would you ask?

Can we have coffee every week?

Thank you Franco, for offering me this window to pause and think. You’re such a thoughtful person.

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Writing a love letter to her parents? This is something we Asians would never do in another thousand years. Nope. That’s strictly prohibited.

But why is that? If we don’t learn to express our love more explicitly, like the French, we might be left guessing how much love we are really getting in this one life that we live.

Before you go, check out the rest of Mathilde’s work below:

the Objet journal

Exploring the intersection of consumerism, desire, taste, meaning.

By Mathilde Baillet

A Wander Woman

Navigating Life As A Woman x Entrepreneur x Mom

By Mathilde Baillet

Up next, we have Maxime.

See you next week.

- Franco