Happy Sunday Evening, Friends!

Thank you so much to everyone who attended the book discussion on Zoom today and who stuck around for the wonderful Q&A after our chat… It was a wide-ranging conversation that touched on navigating childhood with a disability, the craft of writing, and how we decide what personal information to share with the public. We also talked about growing into the disability identity, imposter syndrome, and dealing with bad reviews and backlash on social media. For those of you missed the live conversation, you can watch the replay of the chat or read the transcript below.

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A LITTLE MORE ABOUT EMILY:

is a passionate disability rights activist, writer, and communications and cultural access consultant. Her career began at the age of 10, when she appeared on multiple episodes of Sesame Street to educate about her life with a physical disability. Emily’s writing has been published in outlets including The New York Times, CNN, Vice, and HuffPost and her first book, Demystifying Disability, was published by Ten Speed Press, an imprint of Penguin Random House. She has spoken before numerous audiences, from the U.S. Department of Education to the United Nations. Central to all of Emily’s work is her belief that by sharing our stories and making the disability experience accessible to the world, we’ll reach a world that’s more accessible and inclusive for everyone.

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Words I Wheel By

Making conversations about disability more accessible for everyone.

By Emily Ladau

FULL TRANSCRIPT:

EMILY: Hello, hello! I am so honored and excited to be in conversation with one of the coolest disabled people I know. I am Emily Ladau. I am a disability rights advocate. I am the author of a book called Demystifying Disability. I am very passionate about cultural access and creating opportunities for all people to enjoy what culture has to offer. What you’re not able to see in the screen is that I am a wheelchair user. What I am showing in the screen is that I am a white woman with brown hair pulled to the side in a bun, wearing glasses and a red and black and green floral dress. We do this for accessibility purposes in case anybody is either calling in or has a vision disability. We just want to make sure that we are leveling the playing field for everybody. I want to turn it over to Gaelynn to give a brief introduction of herself and also a visual description, and then we’re going to jump into a conversation about Gaelynn’s memoir, and I am so, so excited to chat with her.

GAELYNN: Yay! Thank you, Emily. My name is Gaelynn Lea, and I assume if you’re here, you probably know that already, but I am a musician and a writer and a public speaker about disability, and my music is folk, experimental folk music on the violin. And in April, I released the memoir, “It Wasn’t Meant to Be Perfect,” which is why Emily and I are gathered to chat with you today. I am a short white woman in an electric wheelchair. My arms and legs kind of bent at 90-degree angles, more or less, and I am wearing a blue patterned dress and a Celtic knot necklace and a blue hair clip, and my long braid is on the side, and I’m in my kitchen, basically. I’m in my studio apartment, but that means I’m essentially located in what I call my office, but looks like the kitchen to all of you, so. Yeah, but I’m just excited for Emily had some really great questions. She was one of the early readers of the memoir to provide a blurb, and I was excited to have disabled people be in that just ‘cause I know that while you write it to be educational, you also want it to resonate with people who have some similar experiences as you. So I was just excited that she agreed to do this event with me, and I hope you follow Emily’s work after this if you aren’t already. So yes, I’ll open it up to you for the questions. How about that?

EMILY: Awesome. So it was really exciting for me to be an early reader of Gaylen’s book, largely because it resonated with me as somebody who saw myself in a lot of the stories. I am not a musician, so that was where our stories diverged. But as somebody who is very, very passionate about engaging with the arts, engaging with culture, and also just having a disability experience growing up at a particular age and a particular generation. So much of what you wrote really struck me and resonated with me. And one thing that kept coming to mind as I was reading is that both of us are very close in age. We could be considered the ADA generation, the generation of kids that grew up not really knowing life without the Americans with Disabilities Act because it was passed in 1990. So I know that for me, I was not actually well aware of my rights at a young age, but I also know that I was protected by those rights at a young age. And it’s an interesting dynamic to come into your own as a disabled person and also begin to understand the protections that were put in place. So I’m wondering, how did you feel that your consciousness of your rights and those protections grow over time? And then how would you say that that shaped your identity? And I do think you speak to this in the book, but I’m interested to hear some reflections on that as well.

GAELYNN: Yeah, I mean, it’s so interesting because when you do grow up with the rights that we had, you know, I mean, imperfect as they are, right, being recognized, I think you kind of take it as like, oh, this is just what life is like. But I did have, which I wrote about in the book, one friend who was older and he had the same disability as me. He was a generation older. He’s about my mom’s age. And he used to describe what it was like living in our hometown before the ADA. Like, I mean, he had to be carried up to his classrooms. He was in a separate room from all his friends. Like, he had to go to the special ed room even though he didn’t technically need intellectual accommodations. That was just how they did it in Duluth when he was growing up. And just kind of recognizing that it would’ve been a lot different even if I had been born 30 years earlier. So I knew that, but I don’t think I understood the implications of disability rights are real and they’ve been kind of lagging behind and all of these things until I got older and in 2008 I was, so I’m in college, I’m like graduating college, right? And I read Harriet McBryde Johnson’s “Too Late to Die Young,” which was the first disability-related book that I ever read, which was my senior year of college. I cannot emphasize that enough. And I kind of had like, all these things started clicking in my mind like, oh, this is like a real problem everywhere. This isn’t just me, this isn’t in my head. Like, and not that everything’s a problem, but the areas where I experienced barriers, I began to realize were like much bigger than just this is my spate of bad luck or whatever, you know? And so my awareness as an advocate, even though I grew up in this generation where I knew I had physical access to buildings, for example, because of the ADA, and I knew that it would’ve been different had I been born at a different time, still a lack of like just how pervasive this is and how there really is a cool community who’s always been working to better the situation for people with disabilities. I was really not clued into that because, as I don’t know how you were, but I didn’t really want to identify with disability as a kid. Like, I don’t know if any of us did if we grew up with one. Maybe some people were like— I think maybe now it’s changed where you’re proud from the beginning or you’re taught that it’s okay to be cool with your identity, but I just wanted to fit in with my peer group really. And so this— all this development came much later, I would say college and after college. And it continues to this day, honestly. Keep learning and like growing. I think it’s a— it’s— which is cool. Like, that’s a really positive part about it, I think.

EMILY: I think so much of what you’re saying really Resonates with me because I know that when I was younger, I often wanted to disassociate from my disability, and that was because I was socialized to think that was what I needed to do. It was the biggest compliment that you could pay me to say, “Oh, I don’t think of you as disabled,” or, “Oh, I forgot that you use a wheelchair.” Yeah, all the time. And it wasn’t until later on in life that I finally realized if you were saying, “I don’t think of you as disabled,” or, “I forgot that you use a wheelchair,” you were essentially saying, I need to overlook a major part of your existence in order to see you as a whole human being.

GAELYNN: Yeah.

EMILY: And that was and still is a journey that I am on, regardless of the fact that I know both of us are very loud and proud about disability pride and self-acceptance. That’s really hard-won. And I think a lot of that comes from how we are treated at an early age as disabled children. And one thing that you explored that really, really stuck with me—

GAELYNN: Yay!

EMILY: —was talking about being a young kid and having aides or paraprofessionals who were with you while you were at school. And I know that I had a nightmare of a time having aides in school. Some of them tried to be cool, some of them were just completely in my business, some of them thought they were my disciplinarians. I mean, it just ran the gamut of difficult scenarios. And so I wanted to talk with you about this because we still had to be kids in mainstream schools and we still had to figure out our identities, and that required figuring out a pathway to sense of autonomy while also being told you require adult supervision and you are not able to engage on your own fully. Can you talk more about finding your own way to a sense of autonomy while growing up in these scenarios?

GAELYNN: Yeah, I mean, again, I— it was sort of weird writing a memoir and looking back and being like, man, I was really lucky. Like, I don’t I don’t want to understate that. Like, just like FYI, I am aware of how like the cards could have been dealt very differently and there’s— and it’s just a twist of fate. But I’m hoping the book educates so that in the future people can think about the way they interact with disabled kids. Like, that was one of the reasons I wrote so much about my aides. The first aide I had, I had for 3 years. and she was like what you’re talking about, very overbearing. I think she meant well, I do, but I don’t think she had any training on how to like, like the world of disability. And so she always told me to be ladylike at the lunch table in front of my friends and she would ask if I have to go to the bathroom like in the middle of anything I was doing basically. It was very embarrassing and I, was very frustrated by her and I would complain to my mom and she would be like, “I get it, but I don’t know what I can do for you.” And then just by chance, I ended up getting a really amazing aide in 3rd grade who — we clicked so much that my mom actually went out of her way to convince the school to let her go with me to the next school — so junior high. Eventually she came with me. And it didn’t work out that she was always just my aide — because they were making an exception. She had many other students, so I only saw her when I needed her, which was basically in the bathroom and getting my books out of my locker. Those were the two things that I needed help with every day. And so we would see each other like a little bit here and there, and she was so different. And I asked her about this before I wrote the book. I actually called her because we’re still in touch. She’s a really, really wonderful person, Mary Stromdahl, and I said, “Why were you so cool? Like, what about your life made you that way?” And she just said, “I just thought about how I would’ve felt as a kid.” And she’s like, “I know that it was a fine line to walk and I’m not sure I always did it well. Sometimes I feel like I probably should’ve stepped in and sometimes I felt like, no, this is her journey to learn.” And I think it’s just like, this is why I think disability is such a more broad experience. And I hope that someday we get to a point where we’re just talking about human diversity and not so much disability as a separate thing. Because I think if all of us put ourselves in each other’s shoes, if we have shoes, I don’t wear shoes, but you know, like that kind of idea. If we’re able to understand the impact of our behavior on other people, It would educate us in so many ways. Because she didn’t really know more than anyone else. She just thought more about how her behavior would go down. So she said, after I left, not to get too long-winded, but she said after I left school, she ended up working with a boy who had a lot of behavior issues, right? And he was failing all his classes. She was assigned to work with him in art class and she pulled him out of school or out of class one day and she said, ‘Here’s the deal. No one has to know that I’m assigned to you if you behave yourself. I will not intervene. I will act like I’m the aide to the teacher. I will not, like, I will not bother you, but if you— but I do have to intervene if you act out or whatever.’ And that is the only class he ever made it through without behavior issues because she treated him like a person who could, like— and again, that wouldn’t work, and she said, I mean, obviously that wouldn’t work all the time, but it was really cool to hear that she really got that like sometimes all you want to do is be a kid and she gave him the opportunity to choose that and he was able to make that choice and he— teachers were really confused. They’re like, what is— why is this happening? And I think it’s the way he was being treated by other aides was, you know, pushing him into an ungood headspace. And so it was really cool that she carried that forward beyond me, but she was pretty exceptional. She was very funny and like just kind of made you realize— and I wish that people had this experience too— if you get a good helper— if you get a bad one, it’s a horrible experience. If you get a good one, it makes you realize that it’s, it’s not that bad to need help, you know what I mean? And I wish that in aging and all these different areas of life people could understand that it’s not the help that’s the problem, it’s the way you give it can be a problem. But if you have good, compassionate, respectful help that’s based in almost friendship, I mean, I think of her as a friend, then help is like, it enhances your life, it doesn’t diminish it. And I think aging and disability really need to get on the same page in this regard, ‘cause it’s such a big deal to me. That’s like the next thing. That’s my next frontier is like, how do we talk about aging and disability together? Because it really, it’s everywhere I look now, that’s what I see. You know what I mean? So, and Mary was a great educator for me to understand that as an adult later and talk to her about it. So she was really cool. I hope you enjoyed that chapter. I’m glad that you resonated with it because I was like, it’s kind of weird to talk about. Nobody I know has one of those, but I know other people did.

EMILY: I think it is a very specific scenario, but I also think that it is universally relatable in the sense that all kids are trying to figure out their own sense of autonomy and agency and how to navigate the world. And when they are offered support or help in ways that counter their own autonomy, then of course the answer is, “I am going to push back on that because you are questioning my humanity.” Whereas if you are respecting their humanity and you’re recognizing that they are navigating the very complicated world of growing up and being a kid.

GAELYNN: And disability at the same time.

EMILY: Yeah, and disability on top of that. I mean, I think that, you know, even if it’s not a universal experience of having an aide, what you were pointing to about how we give and receive help, that really resonates with me. And I think it also connects back to the fact that as a disabled kid, you’re already somewhat in the spotlight or noticeable in ways that kids without disabilities may not be. That being said, another similarity that you and I have is that we were both kind of the drama club kids, the theater kids, the nerds, right? In that— in the best way.

GAELYNN: Yes. Good nerds. Good nerds.

EMILY: And I absolutely am still a theater geek. I was in the drama club. And it’s interesting because as much as I tried to sort of pull away from disability as an identity back then, I also was not afraid of being in a spotlight. And it sounds like you had a similar experience. So I’m curious if you feel like your theater experiences and being open to the spotlight were actually something that shaped a lot of the advocacy that you do now.

GAELYNN: It’s such an interesting, like, what came first? Like, I actually think, I mean, obviously being, I mean, my parents met in a play, so my genetics are outgoing like that. I mean, I’m a little bit introverted actually. I don’t think anyone realizes this, but I am not a straight up extrovert, but I do not mind the spotlight. That was like part of, I mean, from the very beginning, that was part of my DNA, but I have often thought— there was a revelation I had, I don’t know, I must have been pretty young, like 8 or 9 or 10, that like, if I don’t want to be mad all the time, I can’t care how people respond to my disability. Like, it doesn’t— and I think in some ways that’s helpful, in some ways that’s hurtful. Like, it’s good to express frustration, and so I’m not saying none of us should ever, like, be annoyed, but I just knew I was starting to feel the twinge of, like, every time someone stared at me, I was getting upset, right? And I was like, this is not actually how I want to use my— like, this is not worth my life energy. So I made a kind of pretty conscious decision early on to just not care about it, and, and And I mean, I can’t— again, I’m not a god or anything. Like, I probably do on some levels, it still irks me, but I don’t spend a lot of mental time thinking about it anymore. And so that, that then the great news is if you’re like, whatever, I stand out everywhere, little kids are sometimes gonna cry when they see me, like, there’s not much I can do about that, like, that’s just my existence, then like the idea of getting on a stage is not as scary. I mean, I actually do still get stage fright, so like I’ve like puked before shows and stuff. I’m not like above that, but I think the idea of being seen, it just like, it became like, if you’re not okay with being seen, you’re gonna be really unhappy, and I want to be happy. So I was like, I just have to be okay with it, and I usually just try, unless I feel there’s some really edifiable — edifying moment, I just usually let people have their reactions and then not respond because... Unless I do, you know, sometimes you feel led like this is, I should say something now because I think I could help rectify a really misguided thought, but a lot of times it’s just like that’s their perception and I think as a performer I’ve had to hone that even further because I think — I’ll say that I think most people like my music for my music, but I know there are people who are like, “Oh, she overcame something.” Like, I know there are different reasons that people are drawn to my performance, but if I’m going to be an authentic artist, I have to just make the music and write the book and do the thing without worrying too much about the people who might be coming at it for a reason I don’t agree with or from a mentality that I think is misguided because again, I can only control my own experience, you know what I mean? It’s a, it’s a life lesson and I think disability has been in a weird way like a pretty big blessing in that regard because I think about how so many people don’t want to stand out and they’re really terrified of it and it’s like, “Dude, just use a wheelchair for a couple years and you will have to stand out.” And either you’ll make peace with it or you won’t, but if you you do, it gives you a lot of freedom. I think. I don’t know, do you agree? Like, I’m just curious. I’ve never really chatted about this, especially in front of people.

EMILY: Totally. I think that it’s something I grapple with quite a bit where I for so long tried to make myself small, and now I’ve come to realize that I think of my wheelchair almost as being like my peacock feathers. They are noticeable, they make an announcement when they enter a room, and I am okay with that. I know that I take up space and I just need to do so unapologetically. And I think that that is something that we are constantly told as disabled people, especially as disabled women: “It’s not okay. You should shrink yourself down.” And I think that we are, by sharing our stories, having the opposite effect. We are unapologetically taking up space and making space for other people to take up space.

GAELYNN: Yeah, I think that’s very true. And I think like for me, the idea that my wheelchair makes me noticeable, I think, but I also think, I think of disability as so universal now that I also feel like it is a part of me. But I personally want to be the thing taking up space myself. And so I grapple with that too. And I hear what you’re saying. I think like, the wheelchair is there, but like ultimately when I think of you, I don’t think— and I don’t mean this in the— we just literally talked about this. “I don’t see your disability.” I think of you as Emily, a disabled woman, but I don’t think of your wheelchair. You know what I’m saying? Like, and how do we get to that place? Because I think society’s stuck at this level of like I can’t even acknowledge the disability, or I’m afraid, or I don’t know how to relate, or like I don’t accept it. And we’re in this world of like, well, this is just who we are. How do we meet in the middle?

EMILY: Or they only see the disability, right? You, you can’t have the happy medium.

GAELYNN: Yeah, exactly. So how do we get to this — what’s the next step to take us to like the in-between ground? And I think Tina Friml — she was on an interview with Trevor Noah recently and she said, how— and I’ve felt this for so long and she put it into words really well — like, “How you get viewed on the outside never matches how you feel on the inside.” But I think— and that is very, very obvious if you have a disability, like, it can’t be more obvious— but I actually kind of think that applies to everybody. It’s just a lot more subtle. Disability blows everything up. Like it makes everything much more noticeable, but these are all human conditions. Not to go too far down a rabbit hole. I’ll let you ask your next question, but yes.

EMILY: Well, let me tell you, I have so many questions and I wanna make sure that we also leave time for other people to ask their questions. So I think that we might end up skipping around through a couple of them here and there. I’ll try to get to as many as I can. But I do want to make sure that we talk a little bit about your creative process. Yeah, as I think that it ties very much into what we’ve already been talking about with having the spotlight on you, with unapologetically taking up space. And I know that when I was writing my book, I had a very interesting creative process because I wrote it from the corner of my living room in the thick of the COVID pandemic. And that was very different than how I imagined the book writing process going. And it can be a little bit isolating when you’re laying yourself out on the page, especially when you’re being so vulnerable. So I would love to know how you wrote, what was your creative process? Like, how did you get those words on the page?

GAELYNN: Well, I mean, thank the Lord, in order to get a publisher, I had to make a really huge book proposal because it had like an outline and things I already knew I wanted to write about. And I just went in order. It was still, for me, the pandemic. I know a lot of people had kind of re-entered, but I was still pretty isolated for most of the writing process. But I think I wouldn’t have finished it otherwise, so I think it was fine, like I needed to be home, you know what I mean? So I, I would sit down at like 10 PM and write till like 3 AM. It’s— I’m still recovering my sleep schedule. I don’t know if I ever will. It really screwed it up, but it was like, that’s when I wrote the most. And editing was more of a daytime process, but writing happened a lot of time. And it was very, it was very intense. But I also, I agree with — Have you— I don’t know if you’ve heard of Aimee McNee, but she (or Amy Mc-Nay, I don’t know how to say it,) but she is an author who advocates for slow creativity. I pretty much only wrote like 500 words a few times a week. Like, it took a long time. It took me 15 months to write the first draft and I don’t know if that’s normal, but that’s what it took me. But I was talking to Maria Bamford. She’s a comedian who lives in Duluth, or was raised in Duluth, so she visits and we’ve gotten to know each other and I said, “I don’t know what to do.” And she said, “Just barf it out.” And she’s like, “Get everything out and then you’ll clean it up later and it’ll be fine. But like, don’t censor yourself at all at this point.” So my rough draft was 30,000 words over word count. Like, it was so much longer. But I’m glad because it really needed to, like, I needed to be able to be vulnerable and express things really honestly the first time through. And I’m not saying the book isn’t honest, but there were times where I’m like, that wasn’t necessary, or that’s not how I really mean it. But in the heat of the moment, you write it a certain way, and I think that’s okay. I think it’s good to like get it out of your system in one go and then take time to refine it afterwards. And so it was really fun. It was — I remember one time — I did a lot of co-working on a platform called Focusmate — which — have you heard of it? If you haven’t, everybody go look up Focusmate. It’s a coworking site where you can log in at any time of the day or night because it’s worldwide and just work with people. And so when I was feeling dread about writing, sometimes I would do Focusmate. And I remember during the medical trauma chapter, one time I was writing, and then I’m just like crying, and this poor the soul on the other end of the computer screen was probably just very confused, like, what, what was going on in my world? But I explained, “I’m writing a really stressful chapter.” So some of it was hard, some of it was fun, but I took it in little chunks. And that whole Anne Lamott idea of bird by bird, just do like one postage stamp at a time, that, that rang through my brain a lot because it is overwhelming to think about how much left you have, and you got to stay in the moment. It’s kind of like meditation in that way. “This is the moment I’m writing about right now. I can’t think about anything else.” It was fun. It was intense. I want to do it again, which means it’s like having a baby, maybe? Where you’re like, that was horrible, but I want to do it again.

EMILY: You forget how painful it was.

GAELYNN: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

EMILY: Yeah, I hear you on that on all accounts. And I think this actually allows me to, in a way, combine my next two questions. You laid so much of yourself bare on the page. You were just talking about how you were writing your medical trauma down and reliving it as you were writing it down, and the emotional experience of that. And then one other thing that I think you really dug into quite a bit, of course, is relationships and the history of relationships. And relationships and medical trauma are two of the most personal things that you can talk about. And I know that I am constantly, as a writer and someone who is more public-facing, modulating how I talk about these things because I can talk about my experiences, but there are other people involved in all of those experiences, and I have to be very thoughtful about that. I’m wondering how you have navigated what feels right to share of yourself? I would say particularly about your relationship with your husband, because I know I think about that as somebody who was married last year. But also, you know, in any scenario, you’re not always the only person. So how did you think about how to convey your story and what was yours to share?

GAELYNN: Yeah, that’s a really good question and something I thought a lot about. Throughout the process, I really tried to keep it centered on my perspective. And so there were times where in the rough drafts I kind of diverted to like what I thought other people might be thinking or like what experience may have led them to that. And I was like, no, no, no, that is definitely their story to tell. So I tried to keep it centered on myself. I mean, I know it sounds kind of selfish maybe, but I didn’t want to like go into other people’s stories because they could write their own book if they wanted to, right? And so I guess for me, what I felt like I wanted to include had to either have a point or be like necessary to tell my story honestly. And so I thought of this whole book, I know I’ve said it in other interviews, as a disability sneak attack. Like I was writing a memoir, but I had real things that I wanted to make sure ended up in there. Obviously the 504 Sit-In, obviously medical trauma, not because I like even really love— I don’t love it, but I felt like it’s such a problem and it keeps happening that like if people don’t start saying honestly— I mean, I know others have, this is not the only memoir about disability, but like I really wanted to contribute to that conversation of like, “Here’s where doctors could be rethinking how they approach disability.” And then sexuality is another one that I feel like is so difficult for many disabled people. I wrote a paper on disability and sexuality in college and it’s like the hardest, like statistically it’s the thing we struggle with the most. Like in terms of what’s the hardest part of being disabled, sexuality consistently came up as like the hardest thing. And so I knew I needed to talk about it. Paul is very private, my husband Paul, and I did talk with him and I didn’t feel good about writing a lot about our sexuality, so I put it all on my friend Elliot, who is fine with it. He’s openly gay now. We’re still friends, like everything’s cool. He read it before and gave me the green light, like, I knew that would be an avenue in to talking about it without violating Paul’s privacy, right? And so that’s basically how I navigated sexuality. And then medical trauma, you know, I tried not to name names of the people who are the villains in the story, the so-called villains, and only name the names of people who I feel like won’t be ashamed to have their name in the book, out of respect, because I know we’re all doing — even the ones we disagree with — are usually trying to do the right thing in their own way. You know what I mean? So that was how I navigated like writing about people when they hurt me. And then the hurt that didn’t need to stay on the page, to me, was — again, I thought of it as a novel in a way, like while I was writing. I don’t know if you can relate to this, but I was like, “If I’m the main character in the novel, what about this is unique and pushes this story forward?” My friend who I fell out with during college is not actually relevant to the plot of like me becoming— and so there were some stories that, while very impactful to me, just didn’t make it in because it, it had to have— it had to support the journey of me becoming a musician and an advocate. And so what’s interesting is, by all accounts, I really do feel like it’s pretty honest. I really tried to keep myself accountable to being honest, but there’s a lot that’s not in there. Like, I got hit by a car as a pedestrian, and it didn’t even make the cut of, like, random things that happened to me in my memoir because that didn’t serve the storyline. And so I think that was— the creative choices were partly up to that. And then the weird thing is, like, yes, I wrote about, like, you know, my first sexual experiences and stuff, and it’s very personal. But if you’re gonna read a book and you just summarize what happened, like, that doesn’t bring people in to the journey. I mean, like, I remember the first two— I had to submit two chapters with my book proposal, and she made— my agent actually made me rewrite them because she’s like, “It feels like you’re telling me what happened, but I’m not there.” And so you really have to get under the skin to make it feel real and us summarizing the painful stuff — if we really feel like it’s important enough to include — which I think we need to be empowered to choose. Like, I didn’t write a ton about, like, you know, what it looks like to help me in the bathroom, because I don’t think anyone needs to know. I think I can summarize that and you can figure it out, you know what I mean? But there are some things that I felt like if I’m really gonna explain my, my thought process. You need to understand what I was feeling in that moment, and then you have to get under the skin. And the thing I think disabled people— because I read your essay recently because I follow you on Substack— is I think disabled people are often being asked to bleed for people on the page, like discuss our trauma, blah blah blah. And I, I personally feel really resistant to that, even though a lot of my trauma ended up in the book, I did it like intentionally. And if I start feeling compelled to share because of outside pressure, that’s like a wall that I personally would like to be able to keep. There’s some things that I don’t want to share and I don’t think I should have to share, and I don’t expect that anyone else— it’s a— it’s about the putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. I don’t expect anyone else to relive a trauma that they’re not ready to talk about or to dehumanize themselves in a way because you’re putting yourself in a disadvantage that no one else has to do, you know? Like, yes, could I talk through how the bathroom works? I guess, but like, what does that serve us? You know, it just makes— it’s just voyeurism. I’m really anti-voyeurism, and I always have been. And I mean, I’ve been asked to be on like, like Goop, you know, that show Goop? They wanted me to talk about my sex life. And I was like, no, I’m not. No, I don’t want to do that. And I don’t judge people who do, because if that’s their passion, and they are really fired up about it, but that is not— I’m a musician, you know what I mean? So I was like, as much as I want to talk about it on my own terms, I don’t want to talk about it just because I feel like “that’s what the people want,” our culture, our algorithm, you know what I mean? It’s such an algorithm-y world right now!

EMILY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think you really point very well to this idea that we don’t owe anybody our stories and we should be the ones who decide how we communicate them. GAELYNN: Yeah. EMILY: I also think, you know, two of the overarching themes that you were really touching on just now are both intentionality and accountability. And I think that there’s a lot of intentionality that’s required in how we communicate about our stories. And then also accountability, because even though we don’t owe anyone our story, and even though no one else is in control of our narrative, when we are publicly communicating our stories, then we have a certain responsibility to how people respond to those stories and how we are conveying our own experiences in a broader context. We’re suddenly in conversation with a broader context. Even though we shouldn’t have to explain ourselves, the reality is that we’re existing in a larger conversation. And I think that happens in particular in discussions of disability because we will be talking about the choices that we made and how we chose to advocate or how we navigated a situation, or did we speak up or not speak up, or how did we feel about this particular accessibility issue? And you pointed to an experience that you had where you held a concert at an inaccessible venue and then received some heated emails with some backlash. And I think that points to being someone who is then in the public eye and realizing that even if you make a choice that feels right for yourself, that has ramifications for other people. So I’m interested, going back to the intentionality and the accountability of it all, how do you navigate the responses that you get to your own advocacy? How do you respond when people say, I would have done this differently, or I would have engaged in another way?

GAELYNN: Yeah, that’s so interesting. I, mean, I will say — I haven’t as of yet experienced a lot of public backlash. I mean, I’m not gonna— I don’t want to lie and be like I have,

EMILY: And I wish it on no one.

GAELYNN: Yeah, no, I definitely— I know that, I know that this is like a real thing for a lot of people. My personal, guiding principle, I guess I would say, because there’s been some times where privately I have received backlash, like, maybe not publicly on, like, comments or whatever but— and backlash is sometimes deserved and sometimes not deserved, right? Like, it’s, you know, we’re all navigating this little globe as well as we can. And so I guess my guiding principle is, that we’re doing the best we can. It’s okay to admit when you were wrong, and like, sometimes I think I have been wrong, and sometimes I think that it’s their baggage that they’re bringing to me, and, and I can’t always fix that, you know what I mean? I think it’s good to admit if there’s like something that you could have done differently, even if that — that does not mean beating yourself up about it — It just means like, we’re all here to grow, right? And then I guess my guiding, guiding principle is that if I’m gonna ask people to understand that disabled people who maybe can’t work or can’t communicate or need help to do everything, if I’m arguing that they’re as equally valued as anyone else — which is my premise, and I think ultimately is the premise of the disability justice movement I would hope, I mean, like, that’s how I see it, is that we’re all valuable — then, at the same time, the way I conduct myself has to acknowledge the value in other people, including ones that disagree with me. And so one reason I tend to just not respond to— I mean, I guess I do get some negative comments from time to time. My favorite most memorable, and I almost put it on a t-shirt, was, “Ack, the midget lives. I thought she was dead.” I was like, what? I don’t even understand how that— okay, it actually made me laugh. I was not mad, but because it was so ridiculous. But I mean, I guess sometimes I see that, I just generally don’t respond because that is their problem. That is just their thing, you know? Like, I just don’t— I mean, I care that we’re polarized, and I don’t want to add to that. And that’s what, like, that’s what I think to me has been the hardest about social media. And because putting yourself out there as a musician is a little different than putting yourself out there as an advocate. Like, if you’re putting yourself out there as a musician, someone definitely can hate your music and your voice, and it kind of stings. My one big album review in 2018 was through Paste, The guy hated it! I was like, why did you even write this review? He hated it to the moon and back. He used the word “twee,” which I had to Google, which was not fun. And like, it was terrible! So I was like — and that sucked, and it was painful, and I had to eventually let it go and realize that this guy and I were just not coming from the same point of view. Like, he had a more cynical view of the world than I did, and he hated my music for that reason. And that’s on him too, right? But, in general, like, clapping back to him isn’t accomplishing anything, like, to me. So that’s how I see it. Like, I know everybody— again, everyone’s got to figure out their own way of handling criticism and, and hate and bullying. Like, I know that, and it’s— there’s no one right way. But for me, I just think anytime I respond to that, I’m adding to the polarization. And I don’t want to. I feel like the thing I want is a less polarized society, and I think the only way I get there is if I behave in a less polarizing way. And it doesn’t mean being a doormat. I’m still figuring that one out. Like, I’m not like an expert at life, but I’m just saying for me, I think adding to the social media dialogue of like arguing is just not the way I think our society is going to improve. So I just don’t put a lot of energy into that. And thus, because I don’t, I haven’t received a lot and I don’t know if they’re connected or if I’ve just been like, generally people haven’t yet discovered that they can like troll my accounts. Maybe they will, but like, I also wouldn’t respond. I would probably delete their comments, to be honest. So that’s how I handle it. I don’t know.

EMILY: I think that being a person in the world and online is messy. No matter what. And I think that you will encounter cruelty no matter what. But I also think that how we conduct ourselves says a lot about how people will respond in kind. So I’m right there with you on that. And I want to make sure that we leave time for this beautiful group to ask some questions. But I have you know, one last question that really is is coming up for me.

GAELYNN: Yeah.

EMILY: You know, you said that a few days after you won the Tiny Desk Concert, you were worrying that NPR had only picked you because you’re disabled. And then they had to, you know, reassure you that that wasn’t the case. And I think that this is a very specific type of imposter syndrome that a lot of disabled people deal with — where there’s this idea that either we don’t get opportunities because of our disability, or we only got the opportunity because of our disability. And I would love to know if this kind of imposter syndrome still comes up for you, or if you feel like now your music career speaks or sings for itself.

GAELYNN: Yeah, that’s a great question. I mean, I think all of us have to continually grapple on some level with like, how, and why is this happening for me? Is it because, you know, do I deserve it? Whatever the, like, whatever the imposter syndrome comes up as. Because I mean, I literally had, you’ll read in the memoir, a teacher be like, “If I let you in this ensemble, people will think it’s because you’re [disabled].” He actually said that to me, you know what I mean? So I agree, that is a real fear, and sometimes people voice those fears out loud and you know that they’re actually thinking about that — like disability is the thing, the only factor, whether or not you get an opportunity. I think for me, again, everything — and again, not good at it — working on it, beginner level 101, but I think it is all an inside job. I really, really do. Like I think if I create art that really resonates with me, I can trust now — at least, enough — that people who are willing to receive art that is genuine will receive it for the right reasons, and then everybody else who doesn’t, or isn’t in the right place — it doesn’t really matter. Nobody — especially with art! But I mean writing too, like, all of this stuff we put out in the world— — like, there is not— like, nobody just listens to one musician. Maybe some people do. There was a while where I only listened to Simon and Garfunkel, to be totally honest. But in real life, most of us have like multiple favorites of everything, right? Like we like Italian food and Greek food and whatever. And so I think that the, the truth is, is you’re never gonna be everything to everyone, and you’re never gonna please everyone with your art. And so the more important question is: Do you feel like this is genuinely what you want to say? And then you just kind of have to have faith. And I think my experiences— I will say, because it’s been a decade since the Tiny Desk, I do feel like — the music that I have put out resonates with some people a lot. And obviously, because I’m not Taylor Swift, not that many people, right? Like, it’s like a small— like, it’s like a little group. But it’s like, that’s all you really need. Like, you can only control what you put out, and then how it’s received is on everybody else. So the cool thing about that is that you can really work to put out what you really mean. And that’s where the memoir was such a fun— it was grueling and it was hard and there were some, like, it was a recovery period afterwards, right, of getting it out. But I will say by the end of the memoir, it said what I really wanted it to say. And like, that is all I can do. And ironically, a month later, the publisher was like, “Yeah, it’s a little disappointing in sales.” And you’re like, “What? Oh no!” But so you can’t like— and that hurt, right? Like, it did actually. I was like kind of bummed for a couple months there that like, oh, it didn’t meet all these high hopes that I had for it. But that doesn’t really mean anything. Again, I think the world is so — to me — about what are we putting out from the inside and then how are we valuing ourselves? Disabled or not, but especially if you’re disabled! How do you value yourself — like, I’ve thought about this for a while, probably because of music and I don’t want to go too rabbity again, but... but like, if you— put out an album and every single person hates it and everybody stops following you and you can never play another concert with— except for like your dad is in the audience, right? Like if that happens to you, you’re actually not less valuable than if your music blows up. You really are the same amount of valuable your entire life. And I— it’s hard in a society that does not mirror that for you, but you have to hold on to that. And by you, I mean, this is what I tell myself because it’s just, it’s just true. Like, to me, that is the truest thing, is that you’re always valuable no matter what your body or mind is going through. It does not change throughout your life. And any value you derive from yourself ultimately kind of has to start within. And a lot of it’s unlearning. Like, I mean, I’ve put it out there too, like my own worth is out there, and I have to reclaim it and be like, “No, no, it’s here!” Because otherwise you start feeling— I’m sure you’ve done this— where every moment you’re in, “is just an Instagram post?” Like, wait a minute, hold on, I want to like be here in this moment, you know? And you can claim your value and say, “No, I post 3 times a week and that’s all I have to do.” Because we have to make space for ourselves to be people. And I think disabled people, especially right now in this political moment, are feeling a lot of like, how do I prove that we have value? And we do need to do some of that, but we need to save some space for ourselves too. You know what I mean? And it’s hard. I mean, I’m feeling that hardcore right now. Like, oh, so much going on. You know what I mean?

EMILY: I feel everything you said so deeply. And I also want to check in to remember how much time we have left. Were we ending on the hour or were we ending in a half an hour? We’re ending in half an hour, but we could— I might, when we’re ready to switch to questions from the audience, I can stop the recording because I won’t put that part on YouTube. But do you have any last questions or is that your last one? Should we open it up? That was my main last one. You know, I always have sort of the, the typical questions, although I don’t feel like this was a typical conversation. I always like to talk about, you know, allyship and things like that. But I also think that maybe it would be better if we just leave space for the organic conversation that comes up because it seems like this is more of a community conversation than maybe that external conversation.

GAELYNN: Yeah, no, that sounds great. Well, I just want to say before I end the recording, Really, really thank you to Emily, and for all that you do. She does a lot of writing, but also like, you know, testifying in Senate and all these like things that are really helping to keep disability in the spotlight in a way that moves us forward, and I think it’s really important. So I really value what you do to educate and also to fight for our rights. So thank you for doing this.

EMILY: I appreciate that so much, Gaelynn, and I’m so excited to hear from this group that we have and the questions that you’d all like to pose. And I know that there was already a starting one in the chat.

GAELYNN: So cool, I’m going to end the recording. Folks, thank you for watching. Folks at home on YouTube, I really appreciate you being here. Follow Emily’s Substack, The Words I Wheel By. I’m on Substack as well. And in terms of being an ally, I would just say, you know, support disabled artists, of course, and their work, but also just really like get informed about what access looks like and put it into action in your little corner of the world, wherever that is, because every corner matters. That’s what I think. So thank you for being here.

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Introducing Creative Living Coaching… Not too late to join the Seed to Sprout Challenge!

Hello, Dear Friends!

I hope this newsletter finds you well! For those of you who discovered this Substack through my recent video post about the Olmstead Memo, thank you for the follows and the shares, and a hearty hello to you! I hope your August is feeling bountiful. 🌻

I have a bunch of fun book events coming up this month (including an online book talk with this Sunday that will be delightful!), and then my husband Paul and I hit the road in October for a stretch of shows with my pals, Wheelchair Sports Camp. So this is gonna be a good old-fashioned artist newsletter: show dates, ticket links, interviews, and a pitch to join my new (EXTREMELY HEARTWARMING, if I dare say so myself) online community, Creative Living Coaching. We just started a one-month Creativity Challenge called Seed to Sprout, and there’s still time to join us here!

BEFORE THE SOUNDCHECKS, A REALITY CHECK ⬇️

There are so many cool events coming together in my little corner of the world this Fall, but meanwhile, so much is threatening to fall apart when it comes to disability programs, specifically Medicaid. If you haven’t been following the news, I would urge you to take just a few minutes to read these two articles, both by the disabled actor : The Contradiction at the Heart of Disability in America and Prove It.

Both of Steve’s FABULOUS articles sum up perfectly what is so true for all disabled people I know in the arts right now. Things might seem like they are moving in a positive direction culturally, but the Medicaid rule changes mean we’re 100% all on the chopping block. And I mean that more or less literally. People like me — people who can’t get out of bed, get dressed, or use the bathroom independently — can’t be touring musicians unless they have the help they need from personal care attendants!

After all, personal care attendants (which are only covered by Medicaid, by the way — not any private insurance) are the way that most of us manage to live independently. It’s not realistic for family to fill in 24 hours a day. It’s that simple. If you support any disabled artists on this platform, then I urge you to call your representatives. If you love any disabled person who requires any personal care (or just Medicaid!) to thrive, I would urge you to call your representatives. If you feel like supporting disabled people to live independent lives is just the right thing to do, then I would urge you to call your representatives. And for Goodness sake with a capital G, please please please please please vote… It is so extremely important that we make our voices heard in elections!

WHY IS VOTING SO IMPORTANT?

Look, I truly understand that our political landscape is a lot right now — it’s not just disabled people who are threatened by this Administration, not even close! Some days, it feels like everything is breaking all at once. So it’s important to ask ourselves: what does this moment require of us, as citizens? Some people channel their energy and time into activism and awareness-building, both of which are incredibly helpful right now. But not everyone feels led (or has the time and energy) to partake in activism.

So what then? It’s easy to fall into consumption mode, where politics becomes a sort of a spectator sport. (“Have you heard what so-and-so did last night?”) On the other hand, we might go into overwhelm mode and just tune it all out because it feels too big and too painful to process. (“I just can’t read the news anymore.”) But there is another way!

I believe that voting is the best use of our energy as citizens, per calorie. When we take the time to vote, we are addressing multiple issues at once. The leaders we elect will be making choices on everything — healthcare, immigration, environment — and if you take a few hours to research and then go mark your choices on the ballot, you are increasing the odds that the issues you care about will be handled the way you want. As I’ve often been told by my elders, “If you don’t vote, you can’t complain.” I know many of us are feeling cornered right now, but we can’t surrender our voting power.

If voting in the general election is a good use of political calories, then voting in the primaries is a SUPERFOOD! Typically far less people vote in primaries, so your vote statistically has a lot more weight in a primary then at any other time. So don’t let the primaries pass you by without weighing in at the ballot box. There’s too much at stake!

I’m not saying that we should be complicit or ignore our urge to contribute in other ways. But voting is hands down the absolute bare minimum for civic engagement. Please hold yourself to that standard — vote in the primary and general elections!

Feel like you can contribute a little extra time and energy to help ensure free and fair elections this Fall? Get involved with Get Out The Vote efforts in your communities!

P.S. If you shudder to read more news, please at least subscribe to Andrew Pulrang’s newsletter to get the gist of what’s coming down the pipe. I totally understand news burnout... I am burned out too. But we can’t afford to pretend this isn’t happening!

UPCOMING EVENTS - ONLINE AND IN-PERSON!

OKAY, PHEW, YOU MADE IT! No more politics (for today)... Moving on to shows!

• August 6 at 2:30pm CT: Gaelynn Lea In-Person Book Reading for indiGo’s ADA Celebration at Superior High School in Superior, WI- FREE - Details Here!

• August 9 at 2pm CT: FREE Virtual Book Talk and Q&A with Acclaimed Author and Disability Activist , Live on Zoom - FREE - Register Here!

• August 18 at 5pm CT: Gaelynn Lea Book Talk + Music at Two Harbors Public Library in Two Harbors, MN w/ Above & Beyond with U - FREE - Details Here!

• August 21 at 1pm CT: Gaelynn Lea Book Talk + Music at Silver Bay Public Library in Silver Bay, MN with Above & Beyond with U - FREE - Details Here!

• August 23 at 1pm PT / 3pm CT: Geek Tea Time — Hanging Out with Gaelynn Lea, hosted by Greg at The Time Scales on YouTube - Watch Live Here!

• September 11 at 5:30pm CT: Book Talk at Cloquet Public Library in Cloquet, MN with Zenith Bookstore - FREE - Get More Info Here!

• October 5-7 at TBA: Music and Talk at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, VA with Wheelchair Sports Camp - FREE - Get More Info Here!

• October 8 at TBA: Concert at Davidson College in Davidson, NC with Wheelchair Sports Camp - FREE- Get More Info Here!

• October 9 at 6pm ET: Concert in the Blue Ridge Room at UNC Asheville in Asheville, NC with Wheelchair Sports Camp - FREE - Get More Info Here!

• October 10 at 8:30pm ET: Concert at Eyedrum Gallery in Atlanta, GA with Wheelchair Sports Camp - $15 ADV / $20 Doors - Get Tickets Here!

• October 11 at 7pm CT: Concert at The Basement in Nashville, TN with Wheelchair Sports Camp - $15 ADV / $20 Doors - Get Tickets Here!

• October 13 at 7pm ET: Concert at Olin Theater at Roanoke College in Salem, VA with Wheelchair Sports Camp - FREE - Get More Info Here!

• October 14 at 7pm ET: Concert at the Tew Recital Hall at UNC Greensboro in Greensboro, NC with Wheelchair Sports Camp - FREE - Get More Info Here!

• October 18 at TBA: Concert at U Mich in Ann Arbor, MI with Wheelchair Sports Camp - More Details Coming Soon!

• October 22 - 24: Gaelynn Lea Keynote Speech and Workshop in Minneapolis, MN at FARM Folk Gathering + Presenter Summit - Get More Info Here!

RECENT PODCAST EPISODES!

I have really been enjoying promoting my book since its release (in case you missed it, my memoir came out in April!) and I wanted to highlight a couple of fun interviews:

• Babes in Bookland - Alex Frnka’s podcast covers memoirs by women exclusively! She loves to uplift women’s voices and to unpack themes like identity, resilience, heartbreak, healing, growth — and the many messy, magical moments in between.

• Unapologetically Black Unicorns - I met the host of this podcast at my book launch event in San Francisco. Keris Jän Myrick loves to chat about all things mental health, racial justice, and anything cool to enhance human existence.

• Maiasa Talks - I met the host of this podcast on TikTok. See? The world is full of surprises! Santiago Hudson lives in Mexico, and he is using the power of stories to connect people and build a more human, diverse, and inclusive representation.

• Constant Wonder Podcast - Host Marcus Smith loves conversations that invite you to discover, explore, and reengage with the wonders of the world around you.

• City Cast Twin Cities - This fun podcast hosted by Minnesota radio legend Sean McPherson and is centered on news about the Twin Cities (Minneapolis / St. Paul)

LESS DOOMSCROLLING, MORE BLOOMSCROLLING, DULUTH EDITION:

Okay, so that’s it for the moment, Friends… Thank you so much for your support, and I hope to see you at a show online or in-person soon! Until then, take care and I hope you find little pockets of open time to enjoy this last full month of summer sunshine!

With Love,

Gaelynn Lea

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Hello Again!

I know it hasn’t been long since my last message, but I am really excited to share the details of my next creative chapter with you. Take a look at the video above, or read the transcript below, and if you’re interested in learning more about Creative Living Coaching, I will include a link at the bottom, as well as a 25% discount code for paid subscribers to try out the first-ever, One-Month Seed to Sprout Creative Challenge!

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:

Very Truly,

Gaelynn Lea

PAID SUBSCRIBERS, GET 25% OFF THE SEED TO SPROUT CHALLENGE:

Read more

Hello, Friends!

How is it already July?! Happy Belated Midsummer, the turning point of the year! And Happy Belated Pride Month and Happy Belated Juneteenth, and Happy Disability Pride Month! I love that summer is a time to rejoice in the value, culture, history and beauty in diversity. We must keep working to create a world where all are welcome.

It’s finally actually sunny and warm here in Duluth. I have spent many hours outside lately, reflecting on the months that have gone and the second half of the year that awaits. To be honest, after the book came out I went through an unexpected period of low energy. I’m not sure if one can develop a form of minor depression after birthing a book, but it kind of felt like that to me, at least. So many months of intense planning and dreaming followed by the joyful whirlwind of the book launch tour and then we got back home and what was waiting for us? Regular life! Only now my book exists.

None of that diminishes the gratitude I feel for all those who helped me get the book out in the world or those who have read it and shared it with friends... All of this warms my heart! But an artist’s creative life is a bit of an emotional roller coaster — I happened to come upon an unexpected dip, and I don’t want to pretend otherwise.

Luckily, I suspected that if I didn’t panic (and got myself some counseling) things would level out eventually. And sure enough, in the last couple of weeks, I could feel my usual enthusiasm trickling back in, and my creative wheels creaking and moaning as they slowly returned to motion. I wrote out a plan for the months ahead to keep spreading the word about the book, I started building out Creative Living Coaching (more coming soon!) and I wrote the rough draft of my next book proposal cover letter!

So I guess I am telling you this because sometimes we artists get derailed by our bodies and our brains and it feels scary not to know how long we’ll be down... Or if we’ll ever feel creative again. Just know that, if this happens to you, you are absolutely not alone in this. It seems to me that even the tiniest act of creativity is a step on the path back to your True Artist Self, who is constantly evolving: sometimes dreaming, sometimes creating, sometimes laying dormant until the Spring, when the tiniest idea borrows into your heart like a seed and sprouts when you are ready (no sooner or later).

Anyway, I am wishing you well on your own creative journey, wherever you find yourself at the moment, and I am sending you gratitude for letting me slowly recalibrate after the book launch! The last half of 2026 is officially here, and it is my hope that we can create conditions for the things we value most to manifest.

Upcoming Events:

It’s going to be a fun summer and really busy Fall! I am currently finalizing a Fall Tour with the amazing band Wheelchair Sports Camp - I’ll let you know when those dates are all confirmed! In the meantime, the my currently confirmed shows are listed here:

July 18th - Disability Pride Party @ disAbility Connections in Jackson, MI at 2pm ET

August 9th - Zoom Book Discussion and Q&A with Emily Ladau at 2pm CT

August 18th - Two Harbors Public Library Book / Music Event at 5pm CT

August 21st - Silver Bay Public Library - Book + Music Event at 1:30pm CT

September 11th - Cloquet Public Library - Book + Music Event at 5:30pm CT

October 23rd + 24th - FARM Folk Keynote Speaker in Minneapolis, MN (see schedule)

SEE MY FULL EVENTS CALENDAR

A Humble Request for Book Reviews:

First of all, THANK YOU to everyone who has texted, emailed, or even snail-mailed me when you finished the book! I truly cherish your kind, encouraging words and I love hearing what stood out to you as you read, especially if anything was thought-provoking or helpful. So thank you for taking the time to send your feedback!

I have recently learned that one thing that matters a lot in the Algorithm Age is the number of book reviews on sites like Amazon, Goodreads, and Audible. It helps the machine to learn which books are engaging to readers and thus increases the likelihood of recommending that title. Apparently the “goal” is over 100 reviews.

So I would be incredibly grateful if you could leave a review of my book when you’re done - it doesn’t have to be long or eloquent, just a brief note of why you enjoyed it.

Here are the links to leave a review of the book on Amazon, Goodreads, and Audible!

LEAVE A BOOK REVIEW ON AMAZON

LEAVE A BOOK REVIEW ON GOODREADS

LEAVE AN AUDIOBOOK REVIEW ON AUDIBLE

And here are a few snippets from recent book reviews that I found quite touching:

…And Don’t Forget There’s an Audiobook!

One thing I haven’t mentioned as often as I should is that there is also an audiobook version of my memoir, available on Audible and on the Hachette website! I read the book myself and there’s also lots of my music woven in between the chapters. I know that not everyone enjoys reading or is able to sit down with a written book, so I was grateful that Algonquin Books and Hachette Audio invested in this accessible format!

Essay: What Do You Want to Manifest?

Before I sign off, I just wanted to leave you with a thought from Thich Nhat Hanh:

This little quote got me thinking. What kinds of formations are we manifesting in our society when it comes to politics, or how we take care of the most marginalized?

I don’t often write about the news or politics, because I believe there are better places for you to get this information (for current disability-related news I would recommend Disability Thinking Weekday, Disability Community for Democracy, The Words I Wheel By with Emily Ladau, Disability News Digest, DREDF, and ADA Watch). I’m sure I’ll be writing about disability news again soon, as the Trump Administration is threatening disabled people’s rights to live in the community and to receive an accessible education. But this is, overall, a newsletter about creativity for all people.

Nonetheless, Thich Nhat Hanh’s words made me pause. For if we say that we are committed to manifesting peace and love, then we need to create the right conditions for these things to grow. What does this have to do with politics? Well, it seems like everywhere I go, the main topic of conversation is bashing the Trump Administration (I’m not saying I sit these conversations out - it’s so easy to get sucked in, after all!)

I would argue that a country only gets someone like Trump in office if the “right” conditions are there for him to take root and grow his support. What are these conditions? Unchecked capitalism, sure. People in high places willing to look the other way or stay silent, yes. A two-party political system that reflects the will of the monied rather than the will of the general population? Double check! But there are other, smaller forces at play. A culture of fear may start with paid ads, but it grows and spreads when everyday people pick fights with each other online. Or when we get fixated on what bad thing we want to destroy rather than what good, healthy thing we want to create. Or when we parrot name-calling or otherwise dehumanizing language.

So what I am saying is that if we want the polarization in our country to wane rather than intensify, we need to focus our limited time and energy on what we want to grow. Fighting fire with fire is only a good strategy if you want the blaze to grow bigger.

Yes, let’s defend the rights of the marginalized and work to keep safety nets in place and to reform the system to be more equitable. But let’s do it in the spirit of care, sharing, restoration of justice, and love. Let’s try to keep peace front and center.

My friend Dani recently told me about a beautiful book by Robin Wall Kimmerer called The Serviceberry and I loved it. The book introduces the idea of a “gift economy” — a call to see everything sustaining our lives as gifts from the earth and then gratefully respond with some form of reciprocity. Of reciprocity, Robin writes:

This Indigenous author calls us to imagine the big and small ways that a gift economy could function in America instead of the consumerist mindset that capitalism promotes - its focus on scarcity and accumulation. Robin asks us: What are ways we could help shift our culture towards compassion, care, and shared resources? Things like Little Free Libraries, hosting potlucks, volunteering, and organizing community health clinics and housing cooperatives... It’s worth pondering what’s possible!

Let’s create the culture we want to see, one in which someone like Donald Trump (or really, any billionaire) simply wouldn’t be exalted as a hero, because it runs so contrary to our deeply-held values. Let’s amplify the ideas and the values that we want to see and start building the world we wish to actually manifest. What would that look like?

Sending love to you all! And EEEK, check out my newest project…. More coming soon!

Truly,

Gaelynn Lea

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I hope you’re doing well and enjoying summer so far! I have another message waiting in the wings for you (coming soon!) but I had to get this off my chest first.

Please take 12 minutes to watch / read the transcript of this video I recorded about the DOJ’s Olmstead Memo. We are at a very scary turning point with Disability Rights in this country and we all need to pay attention.

If you want to learn more after watching, please subscribe to these newsletters: ADA Watch, DREDF, and Disability Thinking Weekday & .

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:

Hi Everybody! 

I am making this a video because I am upset about the Olmstead Memo, but I don’t feel like writing a whole essay about it because it just makes me so mad that we’re still having to talk about why we should integrate disabled people into society.

So I just want to let you know that before the ‘70s and ‘80s (and into the ‘70s and ‘80s), the norm for people with disabilities - and especially people with mental disabilities - was to institutionalize them. You had to fight really hard to keep your kid at home with you. 

And then even in that case, there wasn’t support like personal care attendants and job coaches and all that stuff. There just wasn’t a lot of support for people with disabilities. 

That started changing, you know, right around the ‘70s, ‘80s... When I was born, in 1984. You know, it was like this perfect little window where people were getting out of institutions and into the community, and now we’re trying to go backwards.

The Department of Justice memo doesn’t actually change anything yet, but it signals that this is the Administration’s view, and it probably will have real repercussions if we don’t really push back on it. 

The first thing that you need to know is this is not happening in a vacuum. There are cuts to Medicaid, and Donald Trump himself said in April that we can’t afford things like Medicaid and Medicare and childcare.

So these cuts to Medicaid are making it harder and harder for places that already do work with mentally disabled people to live in their community because they’re cutting back services. 

Also, the other part of the vacuum that we can’t ignore is that we are currently incarcerating immigrants in this country. And I don’t want to go too much on a tangent, but those detention centers are being run by private equity firms like Vanguard and places that are doing this for money. And so I have done some research on some of these companies that are operating detention centers, and I read one of their quarterly reports, and it was like: “Things are looking great. We’re gonna grow, we’re gonna grow, we’re gonna make more money.” 

And so this is a profitable venture to keep people in housing facilities en masse, and it’s a really, really sick form of capitalism that obviously, I hope I don’t have to explain to you why that’s bad, but it is bad.

And then the other part of the vacuum is that no person should, based on who they are born as, be incarcerated. Putting someone in an institution against their will, whether or not it’s a medical institution or an immigration institution or a jail, is incarceration. So, let’s just start with those baseline facts that none of this is happening in a vacuum.

I read through the memo to the best of my ability. I’m not a lawyer. I’m gonna link to some places that you can check out.

A big thing that stood out to me is the memo said: "We can’t base our current decisions on unfortunate incidences in the past." And the reality is, is that this exact same kind of institutionalization that’s being discussed through this DOJ memo is the the same as Willowbrook. Willowbrook, I wrote about it in my book because it was such an important piece of disability history. It was an institution that was built to house people with intellectual disabilities and it got overcrowded and completely mismanaged and people died in mass. They had medical tests done done on them without their consent. Like, it was a horrific, horrific thing. 

And so we absolutely CAN base our future decisions on mistakes of the past. I don’t think any of us are thinking — I mean, we don’t wanna try slavery again and say, “This time we’re gonna do it better." We’re just not gonna go back!

And that’s what we have to think of when we talk about Olmsted. 

RFK, the first one, R.F.K. Jr.’s Dad, visited Willowbrook and called it a snake pit. 

And we all know right now, watching what’s happening with immigration, that the Dilley Detention Center is not an ethically run place on any level. There’s not healthy food and there’s not good access to medical care. We don’t do detention in a mass scale well. And we shouldn’t be thinking that this is a solution to care for disabled people. 

The other thing that I read a lot of times in this memo was, "There’s many reasons why we would need to potentially put people in institutions. One of them would be lack of resources." I thought this was the sneakiest part of the memo, is to cite limited resources at the same time that they’re slashing Medicaid. 

We need to create a future that we want to see, and the truth is, is that this is not really about medical care. It’s about slashing benefits down to the bone and then saying, “Oh, I’m sorry, we don’t have the services in the community for you, so here’s your other option... It’s called living in an institution.” And so that is a sneaky and dishonorable argument in the Olmstead Memo. 

The other important thing to note is the discrimination they spoke about in the memo. They were trying to prove that it wasn’t discrimination to have some people in an institution (even if they could otherwise be living in their community with support), and they were comparing it to different groups of people with intellectual disabilities.

So they were saying, "Well, just because one group of people with intellectual disabilities is in an institution, it doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily discrimination because some other intellectually disabled people are living in the community."

But I think it’s the wrong comparison.

What I think they should be weighing it against is this: Are we asking the rest of the general population of citizens to be living against their will in an institution when they could be out in their community with with the supports that they need? 

You know, the thing that we can’t forget -  and we just have to keep reminding people - is that people with developmental disabilities are citizens of the United States.

Putting them in a place that’s more restrictive than they need to be simply because we don’t wanna pay for it or it’s complicated is not respecting their value as citizens. We wouldn’t do it with other groups. The scary part is, is if we start justifying people with intellectual disabilities being segregated, that logic can apply to other groups.

Like what about cancer patients? "It’s too hard to have them be in their home and have nurses come to their house. Everybody who has cancer has to go live in an institution." Or, moms who and dads who are single parents? “Oh, it’s too hard to provide childcare. Everybody who is a single parent has to go live in an institution.” 

It sounds far-fetched, but the biggest comparison that I can see is senior citizens. If we decide it’s too hard to provide any services to senior citizens outside of an institution, then everybody just has to go to an institution whether or not they really need to... Which is the key.

Whether or not it’s possible for them to live at home, are we going to say the only services we will cover are those that put you in an institution? And as I said, Trump has already hinted that "we cannot possibly pay for Medicaid or Medicare or childcare because we’re fighting wars", so the states have to do the lifting in terms of finances. 

Now I’m gonna be real: Yes, it’s obviously a complicated issue and it comes with challenges to make sure that disabled people can thrive in their communities... But it’s the right thing to do. 

You know, I performed with Kevin Kling at a place called Interact Theatre in the Twin Cities... It’s an arts program for people with developmental disabilities.

It was one of the most vibrant and creative and caring and joyful places. Everyone there was creating theater that was going to be viewed by the wider public. They had a community, they were integrated in other ways in their community. And 50 years ago, almost all of those people would have been siloed away in an institution by default because that is how our country used to operate and that is how they want to go back.

I think that that is a shame. Not just a waste of human potential, but also really depleting our society of art and enrichment and just compassion. We all need support. You might not think that you do, but if you use roads, if you use schools, if you have the desire for clean water, food regulations, all of this comes from our government.

None of us are void of getting support. Big businesses get tax breaks and incentives to build and government contracts, so disabled people should and must - in an equitable society - receive the support that they need to thrive. 

I’m really, really getting tired of having to call my legislator, Pete Stauber, a Republican, telling him that disabled people shouldn’t have to live in an institution. That disabled people should have access to medical care. That disabled people should be treated with dignity and respect. 

And the truth is, every time there’s a budget issue, real or contrived, disabled people are the first people on the chopping block, and it’s getting really old. 

Next month is July, Disability Pride Month. Where we celebrate the passing of the ADA and the progress that we have made and the progress that we still have to make as a group of really vibrant and valuable human citizens. And it’s just getting tiring that we are always stuck at advocating for our right to exist.

We need to get beyond that and say that we are trying to create a world where people can thrive. What kind of world are we building if we say, “You could live in the community with support, but instead we’re gonna force you to live in this hospital setting without a choice?” That is what the Olmsted memo is about.

That is what they wanna go back to, and it’s really wrong. I urge you to call your representatives and also to stay alert because right now, they just issued a memo... Nothing theoretically has changed yet, but it is a big, big indicator that the goal of this Administration is to put people - first - with developmental and intellectual disabilities and mental illness into institutions.

But I really don’t believe that it will stop there based on their approach to immigration and crime and everything else. Institutionalizing is a viable option for this Administration that makes them money, and it is not an okay direction for our country to go. So I urge you to stay informed.

Thank you for watching this long video, but I just need to get it out of my system. It’s really, really been weighing on me, and I hope that together we can keep these kinds of rulings in the theoretical memo form and not applied by law. So thanks for listening.

TO END ON A HAPPIER NOTE:

Thank you for watching / reading… I know you support me and my music, but it’s my hope that you also support the wider disability community. What affects some of us will ultimately affect us all.

And to end on a happier note, here’s the full video of That Show with That Midwestern Mom! I was the debut musical guest on her new, live-audience talk show, an I had a blast talking with her and performing. Watch it here:

UPDATED WEBSITE! SEE MY UPCOMING EVENTS + BUY MY BOOK:

Take a peek at my newly-renovated WEBSITE! I spent about 12 hours (7pm-7am, as per usual when I get hooked on a project) a few weeks ago revamping my website after my older brother and I almost died laughing looking at the how hilariously terrible my website was in mobile view…. My homepage was basically just a close-up of my eyeball! 🤣 The website was also just a nightmare to navigate… I am no professional web designer, but at least this updated version isn’t atrocious!

SEE GAELYNN'S UPDATED WEBSITE

Thanks for taking the time to read this, Friends. If you found it informative and/or motivating, please share it with a friend. And, as always, if you want to support my creative work in a financial way, you can become a Paid Subsriber any time!

Thanks for your support, and sending love!

Truly,
Gaelynn Lea

Hello, Friends, Family, and Fellow Artists / Music Lovers!

It is officially April 14, 2026… Which means my book has finally been born! 🥳 I can’t wait to share it with you and to watch its journey in the world from this day forward… I recorded this little video to mark the occasion, and I am posting the transcript below for those who prefer reading text to videos.

I am logging off now for a good night’s sleep before the first book launch event, but just know I am extremely grateful for your support. 🥰

If you feel so inclined to spread the word, here is is the best link to share for folks to ORDER THE BOOK / AUDIOBOOK, and here’s the link with all the details of my BOOK LAUNCH + CONCERT TOUR.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your encouragement and support, and I hope to see you soon!

Sending Love,

Gaelynn Lea

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:

Hi everyone. Okay, so it’s tomorrow. The book comes out tomorrow, which is really hard for me to believe! I’ve been working on this thing since 2021, and first of all, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has supported my memoir, It Wasn’t Meant to Be Perfect, from the very beginning.

To all the people I know on Substack, and the people who have read it in advance and helped me to edit it by being beta readers, and of course, thank you to my amazing family and my dear friends, and most of all, my husband Paul, for just making my life possible. It’s been a ridiculous journey, and I’m just really grateful to everyone who has been involved in my life and in the making of this book.

Now, after tomorrow, I’m starting with a book launch tomorrow in my hometown of Duluth, Minnesota, on April 14th at Teatro Zuccone, I’m going to be joined by some friends who are music and book lovers, Claire Kirch and Walt Dizzo. They’ve been supportive of my work since it was just my parents in the audience and then them, basically. So I’m really excited that they’re involved.

After that, Paul and I fly out to New York City. And on April 18th, I’ll be doing an event at Joe’s Pub with conversation partners Chloé Cooper Jones and Xian Horn. And at this event—and actually at every event—there’ll be some conversation followed by music followed by a book signing. And so April 18th is in New York City.

Then Paul and I are going to drive up to Farmington, Connecticut to do a really fun book event with Andy Versoza. He’s the director of the Stanley-Whitman House, and he has been a really great musical ally all these years, and I’m just pumped to get to go back to his space.

And then on the 23rd, we fly back to Minneapolis and drive ourselves out to the Chicago area. Paul and I will be at the Winnetka Chapel, which is outside of Chicago, on the 23rd with my book coach, who seriously, I owe a lot to her on the completion of this book, Leigh Stein. Leigh is an amazing author and a book coach and just a great strategist and friend who really, really seriously gave me so much support as I worked on the earliest stages all the way up through the end of the book. So Leigh Stein’s awesome. She’s going to talk to me, I’ll play some music.

Then Paul and I fly out to California. We’re driving up to Novato, California, which is in the North Bay, Marin County. And I’ll be playing at HopMonk Tavern with KC Turner Presents as the host. He was the first person that hosted my shows out in San Francisco. He’s a wonderful music supporter, super, super nice guy. And opening that show will be Matt Jaffe. So he’ll play some music, we’ll talk, I’ll play some music, and then there’ll be a book signing.

And then the very next day, back down to San Francisco for a show I’m really excited about. The Disability Cultural Center, which is a huge deal in the disability community, that we have our own space that’s being publicly funded actually, which is really cool. And that event will be on the 28th. And my conversation partner will be a dear friend who I haven’t seen in a few years—I’m super excited—Haben Girma. I met her out in Switzerland at the World Health Organization, which is, of all places, where you meet people. And she is wonderful. And we’re going to have a conversation, and again, I’ll play some music.

Then we fly back to Minnesota. And on April 30th, Paul and I will be in Minneapolis at Open Eye Theatre with Matthew Sanford, who is an amazing yoga instructor who is disabled, and Nikki Villavicencio, who is a super powerhouse disability activist in Minneapolis.

And then our last event, we fly out to Boston. And on May 4th, I will be at Cambridge Public Library with my dear friend and fellow disabled violinist Adrian Anantawan and a really cool disability activist that I’ve gotten to know in my travels named Colleen Flanagan. So they’re gonna be my conversation partners in Boston. It’s gonna be a really great event and a fun way to end this epic whirlwind tour!

If you get your hands on the book or the audiobook—because there’s an audiobook that I narrated!—please leave a review on Goodreads. Please come to the shows if you can and say hi. And just more than anything, you know, just help me spread the word about this book.

I wrote everything I want people to know about disability, and hopefully in a way that’s fun and engaging and thought-provoking. But really I want this book to help push the conversation on disability forward, about relationships, about medical trauma, about music, about creativity, and about access.

So I hope you enjoy it. It means the world to me that you’re supporting already. I’ve just received a lot of really beautiful support…. And the publisher Algonquin Books and Hachette Audio, they’ve been great. I just feel really lucky.

And now it’s yours! Now it’s out in the world. So thank you for everything along the way, and I can’t wait to see you on the road. Thank you.

Take care. Have a great and wonderful week! ❤️

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Dear Reader,

The title of this book, It Wasn’t Meant to Be Perfect has three meanings: First, it’s a line of lyrics from a song I wrote back in 2021, around the same time I started the book proposal. It’s also a nod to my disability, osteogenesis imperfecta (rough translation: not perfect bone formation). Finally, it’s an acknowledgement of the inconvenient truth that so often our biggest periods of growth, creativity, and meaningful contributions come just after weathering life’s storms. Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be perfect, after all. Maybe we need to make mistakes, and—if we remain open—maybe they can teach us how to grow wiser and kinder. And since the tender sorrows of living and dying remain stubbornly unavoidable, maybe we could find more peace if we gently accepted them as part of the package.

Make no mistake, It Wasn’t Meant to Be Perfect is not a memoir about accepting the status quo! It’s my firm belief that we can and must work to create a more loving, just, welcoming world for everyone. But it helps to remember, on our good days and our bad days, that we’re all just human beings doing our best. Inevitably we’ll go through dark periods—but let us never give up hope that a brighter future is possible.

By 2018, I had played hundreds of shows all around the United States (and in several other countries) as a disabled touring musician, yet almost none of the venues were wheelchair accessible. I got the distinct impression that accessibility was such a low priority that it wasn’t even on the venues’ radars. To make matters worse, I had talked with too many disabled people after my shows who told me, wistfully, that they had wanted to play a musical instrument as a child, but that their teacher had told them it was impossible due to their physical “limitations”. Their musical dreams had gone unrealized.

It was around this same time (in the middle of 2018) that audience members started asking when I was going to write a memoir. Truthfully, the concept of writing a book sounded pretty overwhelming. But I couldn’t fully shake the idea. Eventually I had developed an overarching theme: All people are valuable, are deserving of care, and are capable of living fulfilling, creative lives if they have the right support.

Since nearly all parts of life are touched by my physical disability, I knew that disability was going to be a big part of my narrative no matter what. However, I didn’t want this memoir to feel like a textbook. So I began thinking of my book as a “disability sneak attack”. I wanted people to enjoy the musical story line, but I also wanted them to learn a bunch about disability (and about disability history) along the way.

I hope that after reading my lifelong journey with music—playing violin, songwriting, performing, and touring—people will feel emboldened to pursue their own creative passions, whether or not they are disabled. I believe we’re all creative beings, and that making art is one way to connect with the divine.

And I hope, more than anything, that this book adds to the collective imagination of what we think is possible for disabled people. I am no superhero—I was just a disabled kid with big dreams who grew up in a supportive environment. My parents weren’t financially wealthy, but they were rich in love and encouragement. My teachers were empowering and creative. My mentors genuinely wanted to help me. What priceless gifts these are, and I believe they are gifts that every single child, disabled or not, deserves. I sincerely hope my book helps to further the ideas of a more equitable, brighter future for all.

Thank you so much for reading... It truly means the world to me.

With Love,

Gaelynn Lea

MORE RECENT ARTICLES + INTERVIEWS ABOUT THE BOOK:

• Kirkus Reviews: I was thrilled at their take: “Optimistic, hopeful, vulnerable, and filled with delight… A lovely memoir celebrating disability, family, and art.”

• MN READS—103.3 The North: I had a great time talking with fellow Duluth artist Luke Moravec today about the book’s title, the Tiny Desk & my book release.

• The Minnesota Star Tribune: It was delightful to chat with Chris Hewitt about musical theater, my passion for Lake Superior, and my beloved electric wheelchair.

• Duluth News Tribune: Longtime MN journalist Jay Gabler created a really fun event timeline of my life in Duluth and my music career, including lots of pictures!

• Conversations with Musicians: I had a good follow-up conversation with fellow violinist Leah Roseman about my book. You can find our first conversation here.

• The Big Issue: I’m pumped that my book will also be available in the UK, Ireland, and Australia—and I’m so glad this Aussie magazine decided to feature my essay!

• Ms. Magazine—April 2026 Reads for the Rest of Us: I was super surprised and excited to be included in the monthly (feminist!) book round-up for Ms. Magazine.

• Publishers Weekly: Sharing this conversation once again with Duluthian-based, national book reviewer Claire Kirch, who’s joining me at the Duluth Book Launch!

  ---

BOOK TOUR EVENTS—TICKETS ARE STILL AVAILABLE, SO COME SAY HI!

Paul and I are busy prepping for my “Pub Date”, which officially kicks off a series of eight Book Launch + Concerts across the country… I’d really love to see you at a show!

ACCESS: All venues on this tour are wheelchair accessible and will have ASL interpretation.

BOOKS: Books will be sold at each venue, and I’ll be able to sign them for you after the event!

• April 14 in Duluth, MN: Book Launch and Concert at Zeitgeist Theater, with Zenith Bookstore—featuring conversation partners Claire Kirch & Walt Dizzo

• April 18 in NYC: Book Launch and Concert at Joe’s Pub, with McNally Jackson Books—featuring conversation partners Chloé Cooper Jones & Xian Horn

• April 19 in Farmington, CT: Book Launch and Concert at Stanley Whitman House (books sold by venue)—featuring conversation partner Andy Verzosa

• April 23 in Chicagoland (Winnetka, IL): Book Launch and Concert at Winnetka Chapel, with The Book Stall—featuring conversation partner Leigh Stein

• April 27 in The North Bay (Novato, CA): Book Launch and Concert at HopMonk Tavern, with Copperfield’s Books Novato—featuring Matt Jaffe

• April 28 in San Francisco, CA: Book Launch and Concert at San Francisco Disability Cultural Center, with Book Passage—featuring conversation partner Haben Girma (In-Person and Online! Registration Required. ASL and Captions.)

• April 30 in Minneapolis, MN: Book Launch and Concert at Open Eye Theatre, with Magers & Quinn Booksellers—with Matthew Sanford & Nikki Villavicencio

• May 4th in the Boston Area (Cambridge, MA): Book Launch and Concert at Cambridge Public Library—featuring Adrian Anantawan & Colleen Flanagan

DON’T FORGET: ANOTHER SUBSTACK ZOOM BOOK CLUB ON SUNDAY!

I have really been enjoying the monthly Substack Zooms lately, and even though the book is nearly out, I didn’t want to skip a month! So we’ll be chatting about the themes in Chapters 9 to 14 of Pema Chodron’s book, Welcoming the Unwelcome.

Come join in on the discussion, even if you don’t get a chance to read the book ahead of time! It’s a very thought-provoking topic, especially during these times.

• Next session: April 12th at 2pm CT, Read Chapters 9-14 ahead of time, if able.

• Last session: May 17th at 2pm CT, Read Chapters 15-20 ahead of time, if able.

These events are for Paid Subscribers only. Not a paid subscriber? You can join here!

Okay, so that’s it for now, dear Friends! I hope you know how much I have appreciated your thoughtful texts and voicemails and messages as the release date approaches. I am seriously so incredibly lucky to have this much support in my life, and I do not take it for granted. So thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope the book and all that comes afterwards can help to build a more supportive, kind, and caring world for all.

Love,
Gaelynn Lea

P.S. FIND THE ZOOM LINK FOR SUNDAY’S BOOK CLUB BELOW:

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Happy April, Friends!

I hope you are doing great, and that you were able to gather with your communities this past weekend to resist and make your voices heard! I am so glad that Paul and I could attend the No Kings Rally in Duluth with my parents on Saturday. It was a much-needed reminder that in the midst of terrible news all over the world, there are still so many decent, caring, kind—and politically engaged!—humans standing up for our Democracy right now and every day. The rally in Duluth was attended by a heartening mix of the young and old (and decidedly middle aged) from all over the area. The speakers—many of whom were seniors in high school and will soon be participating in their first election—stressed the importance of voting in November.

And they are totally right! If we care about building a better future for the next generations, we cannot be intimidated or dissuaded from heading to the polls in November. Voting is not pointless or merely symbolic - if we vote en masse for the Senators and Representatives who take the concerns of citizens seriously instead of bowing to corporate / executive pressures, we have a shot at making some long-overdue changes and to rectify the nightmares brought about by this Administration. So if you haven’t registered to vote yet, please do! We really need to turn out at the Midterms; voting in this election is every bit as important as in a presidential year!

Anyway, I just wanted to send a quick little message with some book-related links and interviews, because my book launch is now only two weeks away! 😲 Then Paul and I will be hitting the road… I will be doing Book Talks + Concerts in Duluth, New York City, Connecticut, Chicagoland, The North Bay, San Francisco, Minneapolis + Boston!

And that’s just the beginning, I hope! It is my wish that this book gets read by music lovers, disabled folks (and their families and friends), and students in all sorts of fields—music, teaching, med schools, any kind of helping professions, and by politicians! This book contains everything I wish the world talked about around disability, but I also wrote it as an ode to creativity, kindness, and the power of caring relationships.

I can’t wait for you to read it, to hold it in your hands! The team at Algonquin did a beautiful job with the hardcover book and the audiobook. I am feeling very grateful for their amazing support and hard work as we get ready to launch this thing into the world. And with that, here are a few links to peruse / share with your family + friends:

1) Listen to an Audiobook Sample about writing my Tiny Desk song!

2) Read this brand-new Interview with Claire Kirch at Publishers Weekly!

3) Watch an Interview about making the Audiobook with Sarah Bacaller!

4) Watch an Interview about the Book with my friend Andrea Jennings!

That’s it for now, Friends! Thanks to everyone who has preordered the book already, and for sharing your kind words and enthusiasm with me as the days creep ever closer to the release! Take care of yourselves, your families + your neighbors this month!

With Love,
Gaelynn Lea

P.S. Don’t forget! Substack Zoom Book Club meets on Sunday, April 12!

In case you hadn’t heard, I am currently leading a Book Club for Paid Subscribers. Right now we’re in the middle of Pema Chodron’s 2019 book, Welcoming the Unwelcome. Come join in on the discussion, even if you don’t get a chance to read the book ahead of time! It’s a very thought-provoking topic, especially during these times.

• Next session: April 12th at 2pm CT, Read Chapters 9-14 ahead of time, if able.

• Last session: May 17th at 2pm CT, Read Chapters 15-20 ahead of time, if able.

These events are for Paid Subscribers only. Not a paid subscriber? You can join here!

PLEASE NOTE: We’ll be using Zoom captions by default, but if you need ASL or CART Captioning to participate fully, please email management@gaelynnlea.com at least 7 days ahead of the event & we’ll do our very best to accommodate your request!

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Hello, Dear Friends!

I hope this message finds you well! I know there’s a lot going on in the world and that much of it is really sad, infuriating, and scary. I wish I could say it was otherwise. But today, whilst in the middle of my Community Ed Zumba Class (which is the best, by the way!), I was struck by how many people are indeed doing their part to improve their little corners of the world. Like my Zumba instructor, for one! And many more—the Community Ed organizers, teachers, custodians, nurses, doctors, daycare providers, farmers, grocery store employees, poets, artists, Grandmas, Grandpas, personal care attendants—there are so many people doing what they can to keep our society running!

In the middle of the chaos, it helps to acknowledge the ways in which each of us are supported by and connected to each other. None of us can operate solo on this planet. Folks we may not even see keep our daily lives operating smoothly—like mail carriers, the sanitation workers, and the powerline technicians who restore our electricity when it storms! I have to believe that the vast, vast majority of us are here for each other. It doesn’t excuse or deny atrocious behavior on the part of the overly-powerful minority at the top, but to deny the foundation of care and goodness we experience every day is to leave out a big part of the story. The truth is, we are interconnected. That’s why love, service, kindness, creativity, and cooperation are our biggest hopes for the future. Let’s strive to practice these values, setting an example for others through our actions and not just our words. And if we have to recommit ourselves, then let’s recommit!

BOOK TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT—TEN YEARS AFTER THE TINY DESK!

I am sending this newsletter to officially announce my book tour: I am doing eight events in different cities across the country (one of them has a virtual component!) to celebrate the launch of my memoir, It Wasn’t Meant to Be Perfect. Technically I could send this email tomorrow, of course, but I really wanted it to go out tonight because it is exactly 10 years (to the day!) since NPR Music made the announcement about me winning the Tiny Desk Contest. March 3, 2016 was the day that forever changed my life; and—weirdly—I think I knew it at the time. But I would never have been able to foresee the specific twists and turns of the past decade… All I know for sure is that I am incredibly grateful to the countless kind and caring people who have supported me (and Paul!) on this musical journey. I am so excited that a new journey is about to begin, and I truly hope to see you out there on the road (or online) if you can make it!

BOOK LAUNCH CONCERTS: PLEASE HELP ME TO SPREAD THE WORD!

ACCESS: All venues on this tour are wheelchair accessible and will have ASL interpretation.

BOOKS: Books will be sold at each venue, and I’ll be able to sign them for you after the event!

• April 14 in Duluth, MN: Book Launch and Concert at Zeitgeist Theater, with Zenith Bookstore—featuring conversation partners Claire Kirch & Walt Dizzo

• April 18 in NYC: Book Launch and Concert at Joe’s Pub, with McNally Jackson Books—featuring conversation partners Chloé Cooper Jones & Xian Horn

• April 19 in Farmington, CT: Book Launch and Concert at Stanley Whitman House (books sold by venue)—featuring conversation partner Andy Verzosa

• April 23 in Chicagoland (Winnetka, IL): Book Launch and Concert at Winnetka Chapel, with The Book Stall—featuring conversation partner Leigh Stein

• April 27 in The North Bay (Novato, CA): Book Launch and Concert at HopMonk Tavern, with Copperfield’s Books Novato—featuring special guest Matt Jaffe

• April 28 in San Francisco, CA: Book Launch and Concert at San Francisco Disability Cultural Center, with Book Passage—featuring conversation partner Haben Girma (In-Person and Online! Registration Required. ASL and Captions.)

• April 30 in Minneapolis, MN: Book Launch and Concert at Open Eye Theatre, with Magers & Quinn Booksellers—featuring conversation partners Matthew Sanford & Nikki Villavicencio

• May 4th in the Boston Area (Cambridge, MA): Book Launch and Concert at Cambridge Public Library, with Harvard Bookstore—featuring conversation partners Adrian Anantawan & Colleen Flanagan

JOIN US FOR THE NEXT THREE SUBSTACK BOOK CLUBS ON ZOOM!

A few weeks ago we tried a new form of gathering together for paid Substack subscribers. We started a Book Club for Pema Chodron’s 2019 book, Welcoming the Unwelcome. We had a lot of fun and we’re planning to continue reading it for the next 3 months. Come join in on the discussion, even if you don’t get a chance to read the book ahead of time! It’s a very thought-provoking topic, especially during these times.

• First session: March 15th at 2pm CT, Read Chapters 4-8 ahead of time, if able.

• Second session: April 12th at 2pm CT, Read Chapters 9-14 ahead of time, if able.

• Third session: May 17th at 2pm CT, Read Chapters 15-20 ahead of time, if able.

These events are for Paid Subscribers only. Not a paid subscriber? You can join here!

PLEASE NOTE: We’ll be using Zoom captions by default, but if you need ASL or CART Captioning to participate fully, please email management@gaelynnlea.com at least 7 days ahead of the event & we’ll do our very best to accommodate your request!

Okay that’s it for now, Friends! It is exactly 11:59 PM, so it’s technically still March 3rd… I am sending this email out just in the nick of time! 😉 Take good care this month, and I hope to see you on the road in April… Thank you for all of your support!

With Love,
Gaelynn Lea

P.S. Get the Zoom link for the next Book Club (March 15 at 2pm Central!) below the paywall:

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Hello, Friends!

I hope you had a great week! Thank you so much to everyone who preordered my memoir after the last newsletter! Apparently preorders greatly increase the odds of the book hitting the bestseller list… Who knew?! Just another little way to push this book to a wider audience! Anyway, I want to send a really quick note before Friday wraps up to let you know three things (two are time sensitive and one is just for fun):

1. I forgot how much I love dancing until I started taking Zumba classes last month! It’s something I have loved since a small child, as evidenced by the photo above. 💗 Below I posted an excerpt that was cut from the memoir during editing (the first draft was WAY too long and tough choices had to be made). It chronicles my love of dance and shows the value of creative, supportive adults in children’s lives.
   

2. There is another Substack Zoom coming up this Sunday afternoon! We are doing a book club this time around, and I would love for you to join us! If you are a paid subscriber, you will see the full Zoom link underneath the paywall, down below. For paid subscribers only; not a subscriber yet? Join at this link before Sunday!
   

   “WELCOMING THE UNWELCOME” by Pema Chodron

   Zoom Book Club is on Sunday, February 15th at 2pm CT / 3pm ET

   Read Chapters 1-3 ahead of time

3. I am excited to announce there is a Goodreads Giveaway for my memoir that runs from now until March 6th! Take advantage of this chance to win a free book by entering the contest here, and please tell your friends / share this link as well… The more of the merrier! ENTER THE GOODREADS GIVEAWAY BEFORE 6TH!

THIS STORY WAS CUT DURING EDITING, BUT STILL MAKES ME SMILE:

I’m Dancing as Fast as I Can by Gaelynn Lea

Around the same time I got my first electric wheelchair, my family was introduced to a remarkable woman named Jerry Hull. Jerry was a retired occupational therapist who volunteered as a respite nurse on the weekends. The Lion’s Club had referred her to us. She babysat me and my little brother Greg about once a month so my parents could go on a date.

Jerry seemed old to me when I met her, and she lived thirty more years after that! She had wiry gray hair that was molded close to her head, like a curly helmet. She was extremely fit for her age, priding herself on daily bike rides well into her nineties. Most often Jerry wore a light blue bicycle jersey and jeans – I don’t remember her dressing up for anything. She was too practical.

Despite her somewhat austere aesthetic, Jerry wasn’t a buzzkill. In fact, her blue eyes sparkled with delight whenever she took care of us. She absolutely loved kids – especially kids with disabilities. It was her unique gift. Once every few months she would gather us up like a litter of stray puppies, inviting six or eight kids with disabilities to spend the night at her place.

These evenings were the ultimate slumber parties, and they were also some of the only times outside of school when I saw other disabled kids. We’d play games and watch movies and talk until the wee hours of the morning, all while consuming tiny portions of delicious snack food. The portions were tiny because Jerry hated wasting food. I can still hear her voice uttering her most famous line: You can always have seconds or thirds – but first, eat what you take. Jerry delighted in discussing our dreams with us, and then finding ways to help us achieve them.

One day when I was around four years old, I told her I wanted to be a ballerina when I grew up. The next time she came over, Jerry brought me a small package. Inside was a little black t-shirt with hot pink letters on the front that read “I’m Dancing as Fast as I Can!” I loved that shirt and wore it until it was veritably threadbare.

“If you want to be a dancer,” she said, as I tried on the t-shirt, “Then you’ll have to take classes!”

Only then did Jerry reveal her true gift to me. For no other reason than love, Jerry had taken it upon herself to create a ballet class for disabled kids. She had basically just waltzed into our local ballet studio and told them that they had to start a brand new, adaptive dance class.

They obliged. It must have been too hard to say no to a little old lady, fierce with determination.

The class was taught by the lead ballerina in the ballet troupe. A few of her older ballet students volunteered so there were enough hands to help with positioning. Armed with a deep knowledge of dance and a big dose of imagination, she started with the basics and worked her way up.

At any given time, there were six to eight other kids in these ballet classes. All of us had different disabilities, so she would start by showing us a new move and then help us modify it for our individual bodies. Our dance moves were nowhere near uniform in appearance, but we did in fact learn all the positions and even ventured into “jumps” and barre work. As the months passed, our skills grew – by the end of the year, we had choreographed a mini-ballet for our inaugural recital. I starred as Little Red Riding Hood, and I reveled in this newfound spotlight.

I took adaptive ballet classes for the next five years, unaware of how remarkable it was to have this kind of opportunity when I was growing up. It wasn’t until adulthood that I realized that adaptive dance classes simply did not exist for disabled kids like me, at least not in most U.S. cities in the late 1980’s. Yet somehow, my town did. I feel lucky to have grown up in Duluth.

I know many disabled people do not grow up feeling supported by their communities, but this wasn’t my childhood experience. The adults who impacted my life growing up in Duluth—especially the artists and musicians—were kind, creative, and inclusive.

While Duluth may have been a pioneer by offering ballet lessons for disabled kids in the late 1980’s, times have changed. Adaptive dance troupes are not such an anomaly these days. What’s more, today most children’s dance programming focuses on integration – disabled and nondisabled kids dancing together – rather than creating separate classes for students with disabilities. Nonetheless, the mission remains the same: to instill a love of all things dance!

I was incredibly lucky to have this supportive, nurturing class every week – a space that allowed me to explore my love of dance. In my case, this was all thanks to Jerry. This is why I believe all disabled kids deserve to know an adult who responds positively and proactively to their dreams.

That’s it for now friends! Paul and I are going to have dinner with my parents and play a nerdy detective game, haha. 🔎It is our Friday night tradition! What are you doing this weekend? Let me know by responding to this email! Take care, and keep in touch!

Love,

Gaelynn Lea

ZOOM LINK FOR THIS SUNDAY’S BOOK CLUB IS BELOW:

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Hello, Friends!

I hope this email finds you as well as can be! As my assistant Carrie shared recently on her own Substack, we are slowly starting to inch our way towards the light—February 1st marked the halfway point between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox! Not that it feels a whole lot warmer or brighter yet, but we can trust that lighter days will come.

AUDIOBOOK RECORDING CURRENTLY IN PROGRESS 🎧

This week and next I am recording my audiobook at a studio in Duluth with my friend and audio engineer Jake Larson—the same guy who recorded Macbeth with me—and an awesome remote director named Sarah Bacaller. She’s zooming in from Australia, which is quite a trip! I love evening recording sessions, so the time zones align rather perfectly—when it’s 6pm our time, it’s 10am in her city and she’s raring to get to work!

It’s been kind of vulnerable reading the book out loud, but more than that it’s been fun to get into the moment and try to bring it to life! There will be lots of my music added into the recording as well, so it’s really it’s own beast. I am grateful for this interesting experience and I hope those of you who enjoy audiobooks will get a kick out of it!

SPECIAL EVENT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO PRE-ORDER THE BOOK!!

I am super excited to announce that anyone who pre-orders the book will be eligible to join an exclusive book launch event online this May—upload your proof-of-purchase HERE. Better yet, for any Substack subscribers living in the US, you can get 20% off your preorder with the code PERFECT if you purchase it from the Hachette website!

NOT IN THE U.S.? YOU STILL MIGHT BE ABLE TO ORDER THE BOOK!

While I know most of the folks who subscribe to this newsletter live in the US, about ten percent of you hail from other lands… That’s why I am happy to say the book is going to be published in both the UK and Ireland (you can order it online at Waterstones and Amazon UK — the release date is April 30th), as well as in Australia (the release date is June 16th)! If you prefer to shop locally (which is always a good idea!) you can also request that your local book sellers order some copies in advance!

TRYING OUT SOMETHING NEW: SUBSTACK BOOK CLUB ON ZOOM!

My next Substack Zoom will be Sunday, February 15th at 2pm CT - we’ll be having a Book Club-style discussion of chapters 1-3 of Pema Chodron’s book, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World. This live event is for Paid Subscribers only. Not a Paid Subscriber yet? Join here, and the link will appear at the bottom of the page! If you need ASL or CART captioning to fully participate, please email Carrie HERE by February 7th to request an accommodation and we’ll gladly make it happen! Zoom auto-captions will be enabled for anyone who desires them!

That’s it for now, Friends! I so appreciate your support and caring, especially during these dark and uncertain times. My Auntie and Uncle just mailed me a card with a sweet quote on it, attributed to Florence Nightingale, which I will end with today:

“Ignite the mind’s spark to rise the sun in you.” Together, we can help the light win the day.

Love,

Gaelynn Lea

P.S. Here’s that Zoom link for the Substack Book Club on February 15th:

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Hello Friends,

I’m not sure how to open a newsletter when so many people in our country are being subject to extremely distressing abuses of power, brutality, and violations of their constitutionally protected rights. All I can say is I am sending you love... Hang in there, folks! Know that there are so many good people working around the clock to right these wrongs... I believe their efforts will succeed. Like my friend who’s helping to coordinate and distribute the Immigration Justice Fund through Temple Israel in Minneapolis! For their sakes—the harmed and the helpers—we can’t give into despair.

JUSTICE AND PEACE IN MINNESOTA AND AT THE BORDER, TOO

Shortly after the brutal and unnecessary killing of Renee Nicole Good in Minneapolis, Paul told me that MPR News had just interviewed a former Border Patrol agent named Jen Budd, who had since become an immigration reform activist. Apparently in 2022 she wrote a memoir called Against The Wall, so I got it and promptly started reading.

First of all, let me just say that her memoir was both very educational and extremely disturbing, akin to Night by Elie Wiesel. I wished that everything she wrote about was made up, because it was so hard to read, but it was clear that she was not exaggerating.

Nonetheless, I am glad I powered through to the end of the memoir, because once you read an account like hers, it’s hard to un-see the tactics of brutality, obfuscation, lying, and total disregard for human rights that Border Patrol has been using in Minnesota. Unfortunately, this is largely the same approach to immigration enforcement they’ve been using at the border since at least 1995, back when Budd joined the Border Patrol.

Lest you feel compelled to argue that this is a partisan issue, Democrats were the first presidents to install The Wall. These abuses we are seeing now have been perpetrated to varying degrees by every presidency since Clinton. Our inhumane immigration policy is not a party issue... It’s a deeply flawed system that needs a massive overhaul. I’m not saying that every Border Patrol agent is a corrupt or evil person, or that we should abolish borders entirely, but I do believe the agency is in dire need of reform. I’m very much not an immigration expert, and reforms are complicated. But still, the cruelty and inhumane situation cannot continue. There has to be a better way forward.

Although I am tentatively relieved ICE that may be scaling back its use of violence in Minnesota, I am praying it doesn’t make us complicit with maybe-less-brutal-but-still-very-much-illegal detentions that are continuing to happen at lightening speed—and deliberately so—meant to overwhelm the courts and thus to deny people due process. Their methods may be changing slightly, but their goal seems the same—to detain and deport as many Black and brown immigrants as possible, whether or not it is legal according to the Constitution. It’s my fervent prayer that we don’t let immigration reform slip from our radars once ICE finally dials down the chaos in Minneapolis.

The issue of immigration should not remain a political football or a calling card for electoral politics. Real human beings—adults and children alike—are being hunted down and held for months in unsanitary, violent conditions when a totally dignified asylum process—one that involves paperwork, translators, lawyers, routine hearings and following basic due process—would be entirely sufficient. Instead our government is traumatizing immigrants for no reason, using an outrageous amount of tax money to do it (educated estimates range from $786,000 per day to over $2 million per day), all while brazenly claiming the government can’t afford things like Medicare for All.

So what I am saying is this: Even after ICE leaves Minnesota, we must never forget the inhumane treatment of undocumented immigrants in this country. We need to demand that our officials (local, state, Federal) actually work to make the process more effective and dignified rather than just going back to “the way things were before Trump” (because that was not great). Even though it was a difficult read, I’d highly recommend Against the Wall - we can’t collectively look the other way when it comes to human rights abuses committed on our soil, much less with our taxpayer dollars.

It takes a lot of guts to admit you are wrong, so I admire that Jen Budd was able to rethink her stance on immigration policy, publicly admit her mistakes, and then start to earnestly work for change. It is my prayer that more of our elected officials and civil servants will have the courage to say our immigration policies are unjust, even if that means breaking from party lines and admitting they were sorely wrong in the past.

HOW DO WE PROCESS THE PAIN OF THE NEWS?

Okay, so obviously I’m livid at the injustices we are witnessing, as you likely are too. But aside from doing things like donating, protesting, volunteering, and calling our representatives, I can’t help but wonder how we are supposed to process all this in a way that still aligns with our values. So I wanted to share a few notes I have taken in the past week during my devotionals... Perhaps you will find something helpful. Please reply with any insights you’ve had as well... We’re here to support each other!

Most mornings I read the daily entry from two “devotionals” I love, called Your True Home by Thich Nhat Hanh and The Golden Present by Swami Satchidananda. While I read the day’s messages, I often jot down notes for myself. Sometimes this is more or less direct copying of the text, other times I add my own thoughts to better reflect my inner views on the topic. So below I’m posting my devotional notes from January 20th:

A FEW THOUGHTS FROM MY DAILY DEVOTIONALS, JANUARY 20TH:

Everybody has a clean Self, which is the image of God. This Divine element is everywhere, functioning through every mind and body. When you make a point to look for it, you’ll soon be able to recognize the true Self that is common to everybody... You go beyond the human-created labels of so-called “sinner” and “saint”.

Our divine inner light is never altered or diminished, but it can be perceived differently from person to person because each of us filters the light through our bodies, minds and experiences. The light may appear dim or darkened in some because of the many layers of filters hiding it. But the Divine light of Self is always there.

Our goal is to look beyond the mind-body elements and see the genuine Spirit of our neighbors—our friends and also our so-called enemies. We will know we have reached enlightenment when we can still love the “sinner” as pure spirit. After all, there is no real distinction between us. We are all interconnected, made from the same light.

The principles of truth, justice, love and peace remain unchanged, regardless of how far we stray from them. It’s never too late to recommit to our highest values. This is true for every person, no matter what they have done (or not done) in the past.

We think we want peace, we say we want peace. Therefore let us conduct ourselves with peace as our north star. Let us soften our hearts in a way that fosters and nurtures the peace we seek. Otherwise, our words and actions will lead to more division, pain, mistrust, violence and anger. This is the truth of real-world consequences (our karma).

Give yourself some quiet space to reflect on what outcomes and responses from you would truly lead to more peace in your life and in the world. It’s not so much about right and wrong as it is about cause and effect. What we say we want should be in alignment with our actions... Cause and effect provides us with a logical framework to help you move towards peace... So ask yourself, what’s your next right action, in love?

That’s it for now, Friends. Please take care, stay safe, and spread some love. ❤️

In Love and Peace,
Gaelynn Lea

P.S. PREVIEW LINKS - COMING NEXT WEEK:

I didn’t feel good about sending you a promo email this week, so next week I’ll send out a full update. But in case you’re curious about what’s in store for the book:

• I start recording the audiobook next week at a studio in Duluth! I am feeling quite excited (and a bit nervous) to read this whole thing out loud… Wish me luck!

• I am happy to say the book is going to be published in both the UK and Ireland (online at Waterstones and Amazon UK on April 30th), and Australia, too (release date is June 16th)! You can also request that your local book sellers order them!

• I’m hosting an exclusive online event in May for anyone who pre-orders the book—upload your proof-of-purchase HERE. Better yet, Substack subscribers (in the US) get 20% off with the code PERFECT if purchased from the Hachette website!

• My next Substack Zoom will be Sunday, February 15th at 2pm CT - we’ll be having a Book Club Discussion on Chapters 1-3 of Pema Chodron’s 2019 book, Welcoming the Unwelcome. This event is for Paid Subscribers only. Not a Paid Subscriber yet? Join here, and the link will appear at the bottom of the page! If you need ASL or CART captioning to fully participate, please email Carrie HERE by February 7th to request an accommodation and we’ll gladly make it happen! Zoom auto-captions will be enabled for anyone who benefits from text!

Zoom Book Club: Sunday, February 15th at 2pm CT - Link Is Below:

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Hello Friends,

I hope this message finds you safe and as well as can be. Today is my 42nd birthday, which feels rather unimportant in light of all the absolutely horrific news coming out of my beautiful home state of Minnesota. The only silver lining is that so many people are stepping up to provide much-needed support and getting involved in the resistance. There are thousands and thousands of folks—far outnumbering the agents—who are delivering groceries, driving kids to school, monitoring ICE actions... All completely legally, and born out of a sense of compassion and a respect for humanity.

If you are able, it would make my day if you’d provide monetary support for the many families who are being affected by ICE operations in Minnesota. I know that sometimes donating money seems like the easy way out, because the results don’t feel super tangible, but I assure you that funds are a much needed thing right now, so that local residents can continue to provide support. If you live outside of the Minneapolis area (or if you can’t volunteer for other reasons), please consider donating somewhere.

For example, I am close friends with one of the main organizers of Temple Israel’s Immigration Justice Fund, and I know they are having a positive, direct impact in their community. They are partnering with a local elementary school to collect funds that directly support affected families. 100% of these donations are going to services like grocery delivery, emergency rent and utility assistance, as well as legal and medical assistance. Be sure to select “Immigration Justice Fund” on the donation page.

• Temple Israel Immigration Justice Fund: https://congregationconnect.tfaforms.net/392471#/

Additionally, other friends throughout Minnesota who are currently connected to groups helping affected families have recommended these organizations to me:

• MN Immigrant Rights Action Committee: https://www.miracmn.com

• UNIDOS: https://unidos-mn.org

• Arrive Ministries: https://arriveministries.org

But of course there are, many many places committed to helping their Minnesota neighbors right now! I encourage you to do your own research. This article is a fabulous place to start learning about resources. The main point is this: give if you can!

I can assure you, this was not the year, the month, or the (birth)day anyone I know in Minnesota expected (or wanted) to have. There is so much needless fear, sadness, and trauma being caused by ICE right now. You can feel it all over the state, the country, and the world. It is a heavy and scary time. But at least we are witnessing it and many brave people are pushing back—legally—by documenting the atrocities. We absolutely cannot stay silent about the gross violations of the law and the reckless abuses of power that are happening in the name of “law and order”. I recognize that immigration is a complicated issue—one that requires creative, compassionate, and commonsense solutions, but it most certainly does not require the horrific acts being perpetrated by ICE agents against Minnesota’s residents—and sanctioned by the Federal government.

I am so very proud of everyone I know who is lending a helping hand; I urge us all to pray, meditate, and send good vibes for peace. May the Creator nudge all of us towards our best instincts, even in the midst of our justifiable rage and dismay, so that we can stop this madness and end the violence, trauma, and fear. When this is all over, I hope we can work together to build a more just, dignified and compassionate approach to immigration. One rooted in due process and the respect of universal human rights.

But for the moment at hand, let’s be sure remember that hate only leads to more hate. Responding with violence only perpetuates more violence. We need to break the cycle. Let us resist peacefully and remain steadfast in our commitment to provide a strong witness, compassionate support, and a loving presence for our neighbors, regardless their race or country of origin. Let’s stay united in love and service, as long as it takes.

Sending love and light,
Gaelynn Lea

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Hello, Friends!

I hope this email finds you well as can be as the holiday season continues! Hannukah, Solstice, and Yule are all passed, Christmas will be here in no time, and 2026 is just over a week away! For some, this is a joyous season, while others may find themselves struggling due to hardship, illness, loss, family strife, or stress. If that is you, know that you are in my prayers… I hope you are able to find even just brief moments of wonder, joy, comfort, and peace this week in the present and in fond memories, too.

In a world where change is constant and the future is uncertain, may we take time to pause, reflect, and dream. May we fully immerse ourselves, even momentarily, in the joy of our senses and in the sacred experience of being alive right this second. May we allow ourselves to feel the gratitude for loved ones in our lives, even in those moments where they are driving us bonkers. Every human family is messy. Every moment of beauty feels bittersweet because we know that time is fleeting. But that’s also what makes it so precious and real. None of us knows how tomorrow, next year, or even the next hour will go. All we can do is try to meet the moment with love, and recommit to that loving-kindness (for ourselves and others) again and again, whenever we fall short.

EMBRACING THE JOYS (AND PINTEREST FAILS) OF HOLIDAY CRAFTING

On a personal level, I am feeling very grateful that Paul and I had the past month at home without having to juggle too many big projects (right now it’s just the book!)—I can’t remember a year in my adult life where I allowed myself this much space to fully celebrate the season. Advent devotionals, Christmas crafts, and visits with friends & family have all felt extremely special this year. I’m happily soaking it in!

Over the past few weeks, I tried my hand at wreath-making with good friends, baking cookies with my sister, painting a Christmas card, and attempting beloved Christmas tunes on my lap harp… All with varying degrees of “success”, but hey! Each project challenged my brain and made me smile. (Paul decorated the little tree on our patio).

On Sunday, Paul and I celebrated our twelfth wedding anniversary. We took a festive walk around Glensheen Mansion (complete with carolers!), cooked yummy lambchops, toasted to another year of marriage, and then watched a couple of Doctor Who Christmas episodes (of course). I’m so grateful that we’re still committed to each other, and committed to growth—as individuals and as a couple.

MY HOPE FOR ALL OF US IN 2026

As this year comes to a close, I wanted to send a little missive with my hopes for 2026. All of us are on our journeys—some endured incredible hardships and struggle, while others experienced joy and new horizons. So there is no one-size-fits-all way to say goodbye to 2025 and to say hello to 2026. All we can do is try to cling to the light. So this is my prayer for each of us… I offer it in the spirit of a fellow traveler on the path:

May you have time to reflect on the wonder of being human this holiday season.
May you be grateful for the lessons 2025 has taught you, even the hardest ones.
May you be honest about your mistakes, but choose to forgive yourself for them.
May you forgive others and make amends, trusting the universe for closure.
May you celebrate the goodness 2025 brought you, even the tiniest sparkles of joy.
May you feel gratitude to everyone and anyone who supported you on your journey.
May you trust in the power of change, and the small and quiet strength of kindness.
May you honor your past struggles, while staying open to new ways of living.
May you commit, recommit and commit again to living life as awake as you can.
May you be given whatever you need to grow, exactly when it’s meant to happen.
May you know that you are strong enough to handle everything life gives you.
May you remember that it’s okay to ask for help if you are feeling overwhelmed.
May you understand, deep down, that you’re as worthy of love as anyone else.
May you see that, deep down, everyone you meet is as worthy of love as you.
May you remind yourself that every person carries secret burdens and desires.
May you experience the beauty and mystery of life unfolding daily all around you.
May you feel moved to alleviate suffering in your own life and in the lives of others.
May you be inspired by this new year to be open to change and to feel gratitude.
May you never forget how beauty, truth, and kindness are humanity’s best hopes.
May you feel the light breaking through every time you remember to be present.
May you have a meaningful year filled with love and hope.
May you grow ever closer towards the light of love.
May you trust this light can dispel the darkness.
May you sense this light of love all around you.
May you be the light of love in the world.
May you remember that you already are.

With Love,
Gaelynn Lea

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Hello, Friends!

It’s snowing in Duluth, yay! I hope you are all doing well and finding ways to celebrate this special time—the darkest days before the Solstice—in ways that feel sacred and nourishing to you. This weekend my sister and I made Christmas cookies while Paul decorated a Charlie Brown-style tree on our patio, so it’s safe to say I am officially in Maximal Holiday Mode. 🎶🎄🎶 I know this setting isn’t for everyone, which is 1,000% fair, but I “Drank The Egg-Nog" about a week ago and will be fueled by traditional carols and coziness until January 6th. I blame Duluth, Christmas City!

SUBSTACK ZOOM HANGOUT THIS SUNDAY:

Before I go any further, I want to invite you to the Holiday Zoom for Paid Subscribers this Sunday, December 14th at 2pm Central (noon PT, 3pm ET, and 8pm in the UK)!

We’ll be talking about our favorite holiday traditions, our favorite (easy or hard!) festive recipes, and sharing our hopes for the New Year. Zoom captions will be enabled by default, but if you need ASL interpretation or CART captioning to fully participate, please let me know before December 11th by replying to this message!

This event is for Paid Subscribers only. Not yet a member? You can upgrade your subscription today, and after that you’ll see the Zoom link at the bottom of the email.

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GENERAL LINKS AND REMINDERS:

• Pre-order my memoir It Wasn’t Meant to Be Perfect HERE.

• Purchase a signed copy of my memoir from Premiere Collectibles HERE.

• Download / stream my latest album, Music From Macbeth at my Bandcamp HERE.

• Download / stream my holiday album (Deepest Darkness, Brightest Dawn) HERE.

• Remember, 50% of all album sales on my Bandcamp ‘til December 31 go to Second Harvest Food Bank—so get festive (Yuletide or Macbeth-style) for a cause!

ESSAY: “THE THREE-PART HUMAN (AND TWO PAIRS OF GLASSES)”

Last night (this morning?) I stayed up until 7:30am reading “Twelve Steps for Your Non-Addicted Life” by an author listed as simply “Dawn A and Friends”. While I can’t say pulling an all-nighter for a good book was the wisest choice, I can say that it left a big impression on me, and that I am very grateful for the wisdom within its pages.

‘Addiction? An addiction to what?’ you might be asking. Well, at various points in my adult life I have struggled with feeling unable to control my relationship with alcohol, social media, people-pleasing, over-consumption, and perhaps the most insidious, my own emotions. Resentments, ruminations, regrets, worries, fears, and a host of other negative feelings that cling to me like those annoying Velcro balls that nature make—the ones that get stuck on your clothes or matted in your dog’s fur during an Fall hike.

I do what seems like a passable job managing the impacts of my negative emotions—I am genuinely passionate about spirituality, psychology, and personal development, and they have all been very helpful (when I remember to turn to them) for navigating life and trying to make kind and loving choices (though I still often fail, of course). I was already familiar with some of the concepts outlined in the Twelve Steps, like turnarounds and the idea that we’re all doing our best (but I have never “worked the steps”: made a fearless moral inventory, come clean to a witness, or done amends).

And I can’t say that I have had a true spiritual awakening—I haven’t, yet. I have felt twinges and bumped into the periphery and been guided by a sort of magnetic pull that has given me faith that something bigger than me is running the show. And I am extremely (like, extremely) blessed to have so many loving and supportive people in my life, and even brief connections with the Divine through artistic pursuits like music or writing. But, as I said, I’ve never been able to get free from the tyranny of my emotions.

Anyway, that’s why I recently downloaded this book—it’s not geared specifically towards alcohol, but rather to that nasty “dis-ease” called being a human trapped inside their own, ruminating mind. It’s exhausting to be always living on the edge of resentment. My mind can be quite a nasty place to live in, and something had to give!

I am not going to recount the book for you here (but if any of the above sounds relatable, feel free to buckle up and dive in). Instead, I wanted to share how reading Dawn’s book helped me to look at the human condition from a new angle, one that makes me feel more at peace when dealing with my own mistakes and shortcomings.

This morning in the shower (Where else?! Inspiration always strikes there) I started writing in my head: Humans are three-part beings (traveling with two pairs of glasses).

HUMAN BEINGS, PART 1: We are Spirit

I believe that some part of us, way deep down, is Spirit. Energy, soul, divine, pure love, immortal... Whatever language you want to use, the truest part of us is incorruptible, loving, wise, and eternal. Our truest Self is always connected to the Creator, to Energy, to Love itself... Even if we can’t feel it or we don’t know how to access it. Most of us struggle to perceive our true Self amidst all the rush and noise of the world (including me), unless we really practice tuning in. But sometimes, when we are receptive, we can sense our true Self spontaneously, as a connection to the Divine: when we experience beauty in nature, feel the transcendence of music or art, or give and receive kindness.

HUMAN BEINGS, PART 2: We are Meat-Suits with Fingerprints

What I mean is simply this—you are a human being, at least in the physical world. Your truest essence may be Spirit, but that Spirit is currently riding around in a bag of skin, bones, muscles, brains... And a very unique set of energetic fingerprints (your personality). No one else is exactly like you physically, mentally, or in terms of your personality. You are an original, born from the Great Mystery in order to experience life on our beautiful planet, hopefully make something cool while you’re here, and channel lots of love into Creation. That is pretty dang magical, in my humble opinion.

Right about now you may be asking: “But what if I’m a messed up basket-case? Isn’t my personality (or body or mind) to blame for my unhappiness?” Here’s where the first cloud of existential confusion started to clear for me: I think I’ve been looking to the wrong cause of my discomfort. I think our bodies, minds, and personalities are merely our vehicles. They are neutral, or more specifically, they are tools to help us experience life.

A disability can be your source of greatest insight or it can be a source of painful insecurity. A talkative person can be a hilarious and engaging storyteller or a total, selfish bore. We don’t have to blame our body, mind, or personality for our difficulties. We can, instead, focus on getting the support we need to thrive. For example, even if we struggle with insecurity, drinking, or depression in our own lives, if we can learn from it, start the healing journey, and use our struggles to help others, our greatest woes can (and frequently do) become the sources of our greatest contributions in life.

Besides, even if we, in our limited view of our situations, can’t understand why we were born in this particular configuration of molecules, it’s still not our job to deem our existence some kind of cosmic error. We were each born “us” for a reason, all we can do is to try to make sense of it, as best we can. As the psychologist Alfred Adler once wrote (paraphrased): “It’s not the raw materials that matter, it’s what you do with them. For we are not defined by what happens to us, but by the meaning we give to it.”

HUMAN BEINGS, PART 3: We are Egos, Too

Though our truest Self is immortal Spirit (Part 1), experiencing the world from our own personalized Meat-Suit with Fingerprints (Part 2), every human being is also an Ego (Part 3). The Ego isn’t your truest, eternal Self, but just like your body, mind, and personality, it’s indeed real while you’re on this planet. Your Ego is with you for your entire life, which is annoying, but sadly the truth. You might be able to learn how to manage it, but you’ll never be totally free from the temptation of listening to your Ego.

Anyway, your Ego is indeed the villain of the story. Our “sinful” nature, the Devil on our shoulder, the tug to be selfish even though we know we should be kind. The Twelve Steps book put it quite bluntly: the Ego is always only looking out for Number One (YOU) and it does this by operating from exclusively four principles: selfishness (not looking at the other person’s perspective), dishonesty (about self or others, to avoid responsibility), self-seeking (playing God or manipulating things for your own gain) and fear (we often fear lack: lack of safety, love, security, friends, money, praise).

Any time we have chosen to listen to that voice of fear or greed or selfishness - even when we think we are “right” or that the other person “deserves” it, we are acting from our Ego, not from our Spirit. Actions coming from Spirit will always be loving, tolerant, kind, patient, and forgiving. Even though we might present our personal desires with an air of expertise, self-righteousness, or concern… If the foundation of a desire isn’t loving, then it’s almost certainly coming from the Ego and not the Spirit.

So here’s a recap: You’re an indestructible, eternal Spirit of Love traveling in a Meat-Suit body/mind with a unique fingerprint (personality). But you also have an irascible Ego residing in you that is hellbent on you getting your “fair share” in life, at any cost. And because you’re a physical being, your body/mind/personality can actually do things in the physical world. It can be kind or mean or bake cookies or punch a wall. But all of our actions have consequences—some big, some small; some direct, some indirect.

THE TWIST: We Are Always Carrying Two Pairs of Glasses

Every action we do while living in this Meat Suit has a motive behind it. Sometimes we don’t sense it, because it feels so hardwired. But if we dig deep, every action has a motive. I eat because I am hungry. I yell because I feel disrespected and I think yelling will help me feel better. I hug a friend who is crying because I feel compassion for them. If someone cuts ahead of me in line, I can either scowl at them (if I am feeling inconvenienced), or I can smile and let them in (if I think that they might be having a rough day). So clearly our motives differ depending on the situation... But what makes them change? Our motivations can change, depending on the glasses we’re wearing!

Everything that happens to us needs to be interpreted by the brain in our Meat-Suit before we can choose how to respond. And there are two sets of “lenses” through which we can perceive the world around us: the Ego’s glasses, or the Spirit’s glasses.

Depending on which pair of glasses we are wearing, we’ll feel pulled to behave in line with either the Ego or the Spirit. The lens of the Ego is tinted with fear, selfishness, dishonesty and self-seeking. It will drag us towards judgement, resentment, and manipulation. The Spirit’s glasses reveal how we are all equally loved by our Creator, how everyone is doing the best they can (even if it’s not great, by our standards). When we are wearing our Spirit glasses, we see clearly that we are not God, and that we can’t control or judge others. We can only change our own behavior. Other than that, our job is try to follow our Spirit’s guidance to humbly love and help our fellow travelers.

I can’t speak for you, but much of my adult life has been lived whilst wearing the Ego glasses. Sometimes I’ll start the day off strong in my Spirit glasses, like when I make the time for devotionals or prayer. I’ll be feeling so calm, but then just a few minutes later, my Ego will switch the glasses on me, all sneaky-like. Next thing I know, I’m annoyed about something trivial, viewing the world through the lens of resentment.

So what is to be done? Practice switching over to your Spirit lenses! Again and again and again, whenever the sneaky little Ego pops on its greasy little Ego glasses! Talk to a friend! Pray! Meditate! Get support from a counselor or a 12 Step Program! Read a spiritual book! Journal! And give yourself grace. Change won’t happen overnight. Disentangling from our Ego is a lifelong journey, but it can be undertaken with hope.

REMEMBER THIS: Your Ego May Be a Jerk, But You’re Still Loved

This may sound harsh at first, but I believe that the Ego can’t be reformed. The lens of the Ego will always be a corrupt way of looking at the world. But this realization that my Ego is hopeless actually gave me a great deal of peace. You see, some part of me had mistakenly come to believe that I was selfish at my core. That my Spirit—my truest essence—was inherently bad. And because I believed my Spirit was rotten and selfish, I harbored the fear that I’d never be good enough to deserve God’s love (or anyone else’s, really). Intellectually, I saw the falsity of this idea (deep down I believe we’re all equally deserving of love, respect, and care), but still, part of me did believe it.

As a result of this negative belief, I made selfishness taboo for me: the Ultimate Sin, the Unforgiveable Trespass. I couldn’t handle being selfish (and thus, Bad), so instead I vowed to battle it privately in my own heart—a heart that is/was full of shame. On the exterior, I’ve always tried, in my own faulty way, to act as unselfishly as possible (with decidedly mixed results, because the Ego is a jerk). But still, I couldn’t shake the idea that I—my essence, my true Self—was Bad. So whenever anyone ever has told me, “You’re not selfish” or “You’re kind-hearted”, my insides would scream “That it’s a lie, a sham!” It’s a recipe for feeling like a hypocrite. I got stuck in the fear of being selfish.

But if I had known that my Ego is the source of my selfishness, and not my truest Spirit, I could have started working on dropping the shame a lot sooner and figured out to deal with it. In truth, my Ego is no more or less selfish or diabolical than anyone else’s because all Egos stink. This doesn’t mean I should stop caring about being selfish. It means I now I can deal with it, without the hiding, denial, and shame.

No liberated person lives from the plane of the Ego on purpose; they live from the plane of their Spirit as much as possible. Sure, sometimes they still stumble and backslide, because the Ego is never really dead—it’s just waiting for us to feed it. That’s why it takes daily work and real honesty about admitting when fear and selfishness are at play. That’s why apologizing, making amends, and choosing differently will always need to be part of The Way of Freedom. Because remember, you can never escape the Ego—it’s part of your life on earth. But you can embrace more clarity and responsibility going forward: acknowledging your Ego but not indulging it, recognizing your selfish actions and your fearful thoughts for what they really are, turning them around, and slowly building the strength to choose to behave differently.

Instead of getting so caught up in our story of how we have been wronged, it’s my prayer for each of us that we can start picking up our Spirit’s lenses whenever we feel resentment or fear brewing. May we be brave enough to admit when we are acting or thinking from the Ego. And may we always remember that at our deepest center, we are each made of the same loving Spirit. Our true Self is uncorrupted, indestructible, immortal, and much loved by our Creator. Although sometimes it feels like we are alone, groping in the dark, may we take comfort knowing that all people struggle with their Ego somehow. May we find those who can support us when we need help, and may we give that help to others in return. Indeed, there is a path out of the darkness.

Happy Advent, Happy Solstice, and Happy Holidays, Friends. Wishing you so much peace and love, today and always. Thank you so much for your kindness and support.

Love,

Gaelynn Lea

P.S. I HOPE TO SEE YOU SUNDAY ON ZOOM! HERE’S THE LINK TO JOIN:

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Hello, Friends!

I hope this message finds you well... Time is flying indeed! It is somehow already the last half of November, and the holidays are once again upon us. I hope that you are able to savor the unique delights of the season, enjoy the company of loved ones, and meet the needs of your community in some way, no matter how small it may be. Just a reminder that 50% of my Bandcamp sales through December 31st will be donated to Second Harvest Northland, which is Northeastern Minnesota’s main food bank.

On Thanksgiving, Paul and I are having dinner at my parents’ with my three siblings and their kids, which should be both fun and delicious. I’m secretly hoping for snow, to legitimize the Christmas music I’ve been blasting in the apartment for the past few weeks (poor Paul)... I can never wait until December to commence the festivities!

SUBSTACK ZOOM HANGOUT DECEMBER 14TH AT 2PM CENTRAL

Before I go any further, I want to let you know that on December 14th we are having a Substack Zoom Hangout, available for paid subscribers! I have come to really love and look forward to these sessions, as the conversations are always deeply fulfilling, loving, and just plain FUN in a way that’s hard to describe if you haven’t been before. It’s a kind and welcoming bunch, so don’t be afraid to check it out if you’ve never attended one before! Sunday, December 14th at 2pm Central Time (8pm in the UK).

We’ll be talking about our favorite holiday traditions, our favorite (easy or hard!) festive recipes, and sharing our hopes for the New Year. Zoom captions will be enabled by default, but if you need ASL interpretation or CART captioning to fully participate, please let Gaelynn know before December 7th by sending her a message here.

If you are a paid subscriber, you’ll see the Zoom link at the bottom of this message. Not a subscriber yet? It’s never too late to join! Your subscription helps to support my creative work, and cover the costs of things like ASL at my online events. I currently have 80 paid subscribers to my Substack, and I am deeply grateful to each of you!

GRATITUDE FOR THE LIVES OF DISABLED ANCESTORS

Late on Friday night, I was sad to learn about the passing of Alice Wong, a fierce and groundbreaking disability activist from the Bay area, who died at the age of 51. Alice was the creator of the Disability Visibility Project (and several books). She collected a huge number of diverse stories and pieces of wisdom from the disability community. She did everything in her power to get these disabled stories into the mainstream and to preserve them for the future. She introduced so many people to the concept of disability justice, and educated them in how to do better. We didn’t know each other well, but I’m grateful I got to meet her and have a chat during one of my tours in California. Her work opened me up to perspectives I had never considered before and helped me to think more intentionally when it comes to diversity, inclusion and access.

My heart goes out the close friends and family members who are mourning her loss, and to everyone in the disability community who is feeling adrift right now. The world has lost a great light. If you’ve never heard of Alice before, do yourself a favor take some time to get acquainted with her writing and her important disability work!

I keep thinking about how activists like Alice and Judy Heumann did such a great service to humanity not only because of their political advocacy, but because they uplifted and connected so many people during their time on this earth. Alice’s books and interviews (and Judy’s YouTube show / life in general) helped me to realize just how many other cool disabled people there are out there, doing good work. Real, live people I can learn from, meet in person or online, or even befriend! People like Alice and Judy helped to weave a great spiderweb of disability connection and support, and one way we can honor their work is by continuing to connect and uplift each other.

GRATEFUL FOR DISABILITY CONNECTION IN MY OWN LIFE

As it always happens, we carry joy and sorrow simultaneously. The same night I found out about Alice’s death, I was playing a truly magical show in Aitkin, Minnesota with fellow disabled singer-songwriter / visual artist . I loved getting to hear her sing and connecting with her. Check out her music + visual art, and support her work!

Later that weekend, I played and spoke at Robbinsdale Parkway UCC. I was invited by Rev. Laura Cannata, a disabled pastor and awesome advocate in the church. I loved listening to her sermon about disability theology, and it made me want to learn more about that fascinating field. I feel a kinship whenever I hang out with cool disabled folks like Laura and Amy, who see the beauty, creativity, and possibility in difference.

I am realizing that I feel the most vibrant, energized, and ultimately useful when I am creating and sharing art and ideas, and connecting with and uplifting individuals who are working for positive change. I, too, want to be a connector, a weaver of the web.

FOUR LINKS TO SHARE, IN THE SPIRIT OF GRATITUDE

1) How to Overcome Creative Blocks: Recently I gave a keynote speech at Revolve CC, and I met the speaker and artist Kendyll Hillegas, who lives with chronic illness. She was so insightful and kind + I loved her wisdom on dealing with creative blocks:

2) Accessing Disabled Joy: I met the mindfulness educator Ruth Zanoni through an online writing retreat in the heart of the pandemic, and I am grateful we’ve stayed connected ever since. She sent me a link for a Disability Dharma series led by Zac Krohn. It’s called “Accessing Disabled Joy” and it meets every two weeks and covers a wide variety of topics, like mindfulness and compassion. It sounds like an amazing opportunity to connect with other disabled spiritual seekers. Register here for 2026.

3) If You’re Tired of Bad News, Read This: This Substack post by really resonated with me — not just because the stories did indeed make me feel good, but also because they were a clarion reminder that individual actions really do matter.

4) #LogLife: Paul found this video on the Perfect Duluth Day website and I’ve got to say, it makes my heart so happy. When things are dark, remember there’s some part of you that is always wild and free and untouched, like these majestic woodland beasts:

That’s it for now, Friends! Remember, if you want to attend this Sunday’s Zoom Hangout, get the link below by becoming a paid subscriber. Thank you so much for your support, and for being part of my life. Wishing you a wonderful holiday season!

With Love and Thanksgiving,

Gaelynn Lea

P.S. GENERAL LINKS AND REMINDERS:

• Strings Magazine wrote an article about Music From Macbeth, read it HERE.

• Pre-order my memoir It Wasn’t Meant to Be Perfect HERE.

• Purchase a signed copy of my memoir from Premiere Collectibles HERE.

• Download / stream my latest album, Music From Macbeth at my Bandcamp HERE.

• Download / stream my holiday album (Deepest Darkness, Brightest Dawn) HERE.

• Remember, 50% of all album sales on my Bandcamp ‘til December 31 go to Second Harvest Food Bank—so get festive (Yuletide or Macbeth-style) for a cause!

P.P.S. ZOOM LINK FOR SUBSTACK HANGOUT IS BELOW:

Get the Zoom link for the Substack Hangout Session on December 14th by becoming a paid subscriber today—your subscription helps support my work! Zoom link below:

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Hello, Friends!

I can’t believe it’s already November! 🍂 I hope you’re doing well, relishing the wintery snap in the air and finding new, possibly seasonal ways to connect with others as we shift into the darkest part of the year. Paul and I are both doing well. We had a wonderful (very busy!) October traveling to and from the state of Virginia. First, I did a week-long residency at Virginia Tech—thanks so much to the awesome Disability Studies professors Elizabeth McLain and Ashley Shew who organized my visit! The residency culminated in a concert with the Music Inclusion Ensemble (an inclusive chamber orchestra led by the violinist Adrian Anantawan), which was truly delightful.

Next, I went to Charlottesville to do three more events at UVA with Molly Joyce. The two of us did a live radio show together on October 24th and I finally had the privilege of hearing Molly Joyce perform. She is an amazing artist who tackles disability themes in innovative ways. You can watch the replay of my concert with Molly Joyce here:

As a super awesome bonus, Paul and I were able to visit with a couple of loved ones in Madison during the last leg of our journey home—my cousin Jessie and my college roommate Katie and her parents, Kirk and Maribeth! I love seeing friends on the road when we’re touring, so these visits were cherries on top of an already wonderful trip.

I have a few more shows this month and then my focus will shift entirely to planning the book launch with my publishing team at Algonquin Books. We had our first team-wide meeting yesterday and I am so excited to have their support getting this book out into the world. I hope the memoir entertains, encourages, and educates its readers!

FEEDING THE COMMUNITY:

I would be remiss not to acknowledge the fact that SNAP benefits are currently reduced and delayed because of the government shutdown, just weeks before the holiday season. SNAP benefits (formerly “food stamps”) provide grocery money to low-income families (like mine when I was growing up) and the idea that our government officials would allow any kind of lapse makes me sad, mad, and rather disgusted. If you’re able, please donate to your local food bank! Thanks to for making me aware of these resources as well: New Disabled South’s Food Assistance Fund and the Feeding Gluten Free Fundraiser. In Northern Minnesota, Second Harvest Food Bank and CHUM are both great resources. And between now and the end of the year, I will be donating 50% of my Bandcamp sales to Second Harvest, so if you’re missing an album from my music collection, now is a great time to support art and community.

FIVE THINGS THAT HAVE HELPED ME LATELY:

In reference to my earlier post, I wanted to share a few links to things that I have found helpful recently (after all, we could all use a little more light—especially now):

Beautiful: Old Note by Lisa O’Neill — I was sitting on our patio a couple months ago, answering emails, and my friend and collaborator Dave Mehling texted me this song out of the blue. I clicked play and continued typing... For the next thirty seconds. But soon I could tell that something otherworldly was happening, so I shut my computer to truly listen, and by the end of the song I was bawling... It still gets me every time!

(Other things that have helped me connect with beauty lately: going on long nature walks—enjoying the Fall leaves and the gold-tinted light & the lovely illustrations of Jessica Roux)

Encouraging: Calendar of Wisdom by Tolstoy — On the drive home from Virginia, Paul and I listened to several episodes of Pursuit (a new podcast featuring Jeffrey Rosen and Ken Burns () about the how the “pursuit of happiness” is really about being good rather than feeling good), and at one point Ken mentioned that he’s reading a page from the Calendar of Wisdom every morning and how it’s really helped shift his perspective towards virtue, kindness, and gratitude rather than worry, fear, and negativity. I have long been reading daily devotionals for this very same reason, so I just couldn’t resist ordering it, and I’m loving it so far. Just reading the backstory of the book makes me wish I could have met Tolstoy (adding it to my Heaven to-do list).

(Other daily reads I’ve found encouraging: The Golden Present by Swami Satchidananda & Your True Home by Thích Nhất Hạnh—both dailies handle disability well, in my opinion)

Authentic: The case for making art (even when the world is on fire) — My good friend Leah sent me this TED Talk by on a dark day when I was questioning how to respond to the turmoil in our world. Since our society values productivity more than restoration, this was a much-needed reminder that making art isn’t a luxury, ever.

(Other things that have inspired authenticity for me lately: The Work live Zoom sessions by Byron Katie, and the Daily Fire recordings posted by Brendon Burchard on GrowthDay)

Compassionate: Radical Compassion by Tara Brach — If you are anything like me, you may have a meanie living in your head called the “Inner Critic”, and he/she/they might be in possession of a megaphone (haha, at least mine’s got one). If that’s the case, I’d recommend reading the book Radical Compassion! I am still in the middle of this one, but so far I’m finding it to be very insightful, practical, and (obviously) compassionate!

(Other things that have helped me to nurture a sense of compassion recently: Practicing the Loving-kindness Meditation (here’s an example!) & The Keep Going Song by The Bengsons)

Helpful: Disability Thinking Weekday — There’s a lot going on lately in the news, and if you want to make sure you’re not losing the thread on U.S. disability issues, then I’d highly recommend subscribing to Andrew Pulrang’s newsletter. He does an absolutely fabulous job keeping up on relevant stories affecting the disability community. I love how his commentary is honest—yet not inflammatory, derogatory, or doom-spiraly.

(Other things I have found to be helpful lately: Disability Debrief, to keep updated about international disability news & the National Constitution Center’s many podcasts & videos

That’s it for now, Friends! But I’d love to know... what have YOU found to be beautiful, encouraging, authentic, compassionate, or helpful lately? Reply to share your thoughts! I hope you have a safe and nurturing November, and I’d love to see at least some of you at the next Substack Zoom Hangout on Sunday, November 23 at 2pm CT!

Love,

Gaelynn Lea

UPCOMING EVENTS:

• November 7 and 8: Revolve CC Conference — Keynote Speech in Marquette, MI

• November 14 at 7pm: Gaelynn Lea with Amy Abts at Ripple Center in Aitkin, MN

• November 16 at 9:15am: Music for Robbinsdale Parkway UCC in Robbinsdale, MN

• November 23 at 2pm CT (noon PT, 3pm ET, 8pm in the UK): Substack Hangout on Zoom - with ASL Interpretation! For paid subscribers only - get Zoom link below.

GENERAL REMINDERS:

• Pre-order my memoir It Wasn’t Meant to Be Perfect HERE.

• Purchase a signed copy of my memoir from Premiere Collectibles HERE.

• Download / stream my latest album, Music From Macbeth at my Bandcamp HERE.

• Download / stream my holiday album (Deepest Darkness, Brightest Dawn) HERE.

P.S. Remember, 50% of all album sales on my Bandcamp ‘til December 31 go to Second Harvest Food Bank—so get festive (Yuletide or Macbeth-style) for a cause!

PSST! DON’T FORGET THE ZOOM LINK FOR THE SUBSTACK HANGOUT BELOW!

Get the Zoom link for the Substack Hangout Session on November 23rd by becoming a paid subscriber today—your subscription helps to support my work and to cover the costs of making my events more accessible (like ASL interpretation). Zoom link below:

Subscribe now

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Hello, Friends!

I hope this message finds you well as can be. I know there’s an awful lot of hurting and cruelty being perpetuated in the world right now, and I’m so sorry if you are personally dealing with the effects of this Administration’s intolerant and harmful policies. It so feels weird to be carrying on with life amidst it all. But I still believe that whatever seeds of peace we sow, even (especially) now, do not go wasted. I hope that we will continue to have the strength to stay true to our principles, and that we will not succumb to hatred or despair. Thank you to everyone working for positive change!

Anyway, I am typing this email from Highway 2, in the beautiful Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Paul and I are making our way to a concert in Jackson, Michigan, then continuing on for more events at Virginia Tech, University of Virginia, and WTJU. It feels so good to be on the road again—it reminds me of the early days of touring.

Paul and I both prefer car travel to flying: the ever-changing views from the windows (today it was pine trees and blue sky), the soundtrack (our minivan has a CD player and we grabbed a stack of old CDs on our way out the door —it’s been quite a joy!), the roadside diners for supper, and the not-too-fancy (but not-too-sketchy!) Comfort Inns to rest at night. And of course there’s the joy of performing shows: meeting new people at every venue, and taking a few sights of each city you visit (if only for twenty four hours). It’s a special kind of existence, if you don’t mind being on the move.

MEMOIR COVER REVEAL AND PRE-ORDER LAUNCH

Last week, People.com did a cover reveal and published an exclusive excerpt from my memoir, It Wasn’t Meant to Be Perfect, which was very exciting! The story they shared is from my childhood: it recounts a goofy expedition to purchase candy with my older sister Corry and my little brother Greg. If you haven’t read it yet, take a peek here.

My book is officially available for pre-order, wherever books are sold! It feels surreal to see my face staring back at me on the Barnes and Noble online store, but it’s really finally real! The beautiful cover features a picture taken at a show in Leeds, England way back in 2019 by my dear friend Bartek Buczkowski, who I met through touring.

Thank you to everyone who has let me know that they’ve already purchased a copy of the memoir. Your notes of enthusiasm and excitement mean so much to me! I’m lucky to have such a kind and supportive community. And apparently pre-orders are hugely important to the success of a book, so if you know anyone who would enjoy a music plus disability memoir (with a few odes to Lake Superior mixed in), please pass on this link! Every copy sold in advance will boost the memoir’s visibility once it comes out.

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: “MUSIC FROM MACBETH” IN GRAMMYS® FIRST-ROUND VOTING

I recently submitted my latest album, Music From Macbeth, to be considered for the GRAMMY® Awards. Right now it’s in “first round voting” (any Recording Academy member can submit music to this round), and after Oct 15th, the category pools will get narrowed down to five each for second round voting. Although it’s highly unlikely it’ll move on to second round voting (I am an independent artist with no record label backing), it would be quite the thrill if it happened! So if you are a member of the Recording Academy, please consider this your FYC (For Your Consideration) email!

If the album does get nominated, everyone involved in the making of the album (the band, and the mixing and mastering engineers) would get nominated too, which would be pretty special! The Macbeth Broadway score and the resulting album were both monumental projects that we put a lot of love into, so we’ll see what happens! Here are the five different categories and tracks that I submitted to the GRAMMYs®:

• “Act Four” by Gaelynn Lea, Best Instrumental Composition

• “Starving” by Gaelynn Lea, Best Alternative Music Performance

• “Perfect” by Gaelynn Lea, Best American Roots Performance

• Music From Macbeth by Gaelynn Lea, Best Engineered Album, non-classical

• Music From Macbeth by Gaelynn Lea, Best Contemporary Instrumental Album

This album was recorded with a lot of instruments, layers and effects, so it took me awhile to figure out how to pare it down to its essence so I could perform snippets of it live at my shows. But luckily during the UK tour, guitarist Richard Carter and I were able to figure out a few live-looped snippets of each musical cue. This video is of Lady Macduff’s Theme... It was my favorite music cue from the whole score, though ironically it was cut from the Broadway production. So glad it lives on in other realms!

UPCOMING SHOWS

As I said, Paul and I are en route to Virginia via Michigan. I have several events scheduled over the next three weeks. Some of them are just for students, but a bunch are open to the public! I would love to see you at a show or at a speaking engagement!

• October 11: Music on Tap at Weatherwax Hall in Jackson, MI

• October 20: Music Inclusion Ensemble at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, VA

• October 23: Library Journal Day of Dialogue Panel Discussion on Zoom (Virtual)

  • 10:05 – 10:55 AM ET | “Living to Tell the Tale” Panel
    Memoirs that delve into identity, heritage, and belonging.

• October 24: Music Colloquium at University of Virginia in Charlottesville, VA

• October 24: Offbeat Roadhouse Radio Show at WTJU in Charlottesville, VA

• November 7 & 8: Keynote and Roundtable at Revolve CC in Marquette, MI

• November 23rd: Sunday Substack Chat on Zoom (2pm CT)

  • Now with American Sign Language (ASL) interpretation!

  • This event is for paid subscribers: upgrade to get the link!

Thanks for reading, and for all of your support. I hope you enjoy the rest of the month: Fall Leaves! Chilly Nights! Moonlight! Pumpkins! Spooky Stories! Apple Cider! Even though life often feels murky and uncertain, I hope you can connect with loved ones and the unique beauty of the season to help you find moments of comfort and calm.

Truly,

Gaelynn Lea

P.S. A Halloween Tale for You! The first draft of my memoir was 36,000 words over the word count limit, so inevitably some stuff had to go! This little story got the ax, but it seems like the right time to share it. Happy Halloween, Friends… Hope it’s a cozy one!

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HALLOWEEN, THE ‘91 EDITION, BY GAELYNN LEA

Halloween of 1991.

It started like any normal Halloween.

Well, one major thing was off. My parents had waited too long to pick up a pumpkin from the grocery store, so by the time they got there, they were all sold out.

A couple days before the holiday, they came home with a tall, beige butternut squash instead. The four of us kids were a bit crestfallen, but my mom reinvigorated us with a pep talk. “I’m sorry, kids, but we’ll have to be creative this year! What can we make that would look good?”

Suddenly my brother Greg’s face lit up: “Bert! From Sesame Street... Bert and Ernie!” he sputtered.

Instantly we knew he had struck gold. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” we all exclaimed in unison. The matter had been settled, and we enthusiastically got to work around our kitchen table. My dad lifted me up from the floor and put me in my extra tall kitchen chair so I could be part of the action.

Anyway, the Tuesday before Halloween in 1991, my family carved the best-looking butternut lack-o-lantern in town. Well, technically my dad did, because us kids weren’t allowed to wield knives yet. My father performed a cranial operation on Bert-to-be and each child was handed a spoon so we could remove as much goop as possible. We then each took turns drawing one of Bert’s facial features in permanent marker - his googly eyes, bulbous nose, wide smile, and most importantly, his thick, black unibrow, which stretched all the way across his forehead. Then, with the precision of a plastic surgeon, my Dad began extracting chunks of squash flesh until the mark-ups were all gone. We were wild with anticipation as he completed the work.

With much pomp and circumstance, my dad lit a tea candle and turned out the lights in the kitchen. Bert’s visage was suddenly before us, glowing a soft yellow under the unmistakable unibrow. The stem, if you squinted, resembled the tuft of black hair atop his long, oval head. I believe Jim Hensen would have been proud.

I couldn’t contain my glee. This was the coolest jack-o-lantern in the world! Why did I ever doubt the butternut?! I felt a familiar wave of excitement well inside of me and I proclaimed loudly, “This is gonna be the best Halloween ever!” (Let it be said that I have never been want for enthusiasm.) Then I did a little jump in my kitchen chair for added emphasis.

Except, what I actually did was leap out of my chair. I must have lost my balance when I hopped - the next thing I knew I was falling, all the way to the floor three feet below. My swan-dive caught everyone by surprise, so no one was able to catch me.

I remember the thud quite distinctly. Falling from a great height (relative to your body size) is never graceful or gradual and you always land in an embarrassing position. But that’s never what you’re thinking about. You’re wondering what part of you broke.

This time, when I opened my eyes, I saw a pool of blood spooling from my nose. I tried to move but a screaming pain shot down my neck. “Oww!” I spoke through shallow breaths and clenched teeth, “I hurt my neck.”

“Can you move your fingers?” my mom asked me anxiously. “Can you feel your toes?”

I focused on my extremities and felt an instant sense of relief. “Yes,” I said as I demonstrated by wiggling both.

“My neck really hurts,” I whimpered, “but it doesn’t feel broken.” By now I knew the unique pain of broken bones well enough to tell this was most likely a case of pulled muscles and pinched nerves.

A combination of self-pity and pain began to take root. Halloween was Thursday, just two days away! How would I go trick-or-treating? Tears started welling in my eyes, but I tried to contain them. Every time I moved, it sent a bolt of pain through my neck and into my shoulders so I didn’t want to start sobbing.

It really hurt to be upright, so instead of having me drive my electric wheelchair, my parents grabbed my manual chair. They nestled me in with lots of pillows so I could lean my head back.

Just like that, the festivities were over; my dad and I were on our way to the hospital. Luckily, X-rays revealed that my neck was not broken, and I had escaped the fall without a concussion. The doctor said I had a bad case of whiplash. He sent me home with a large foam neck brace.

Normally, missing school would have felt like a treat, but seeing as my class was celebrating Halloween that Thursday, I was crushed. No costumes, no candy, no fun! I couldn’t bear to think about missing trick-or-treating.

On Halloween, I spent the afternoon lounging on the couch, sipping chocolate Malt-O-Meal through a straw while watching Good Morning America and Bugs Bunny reruns. Admittedly, there are worse ways to spend a school day, but I was bored, glum, and missing my friends.

My siblings came home a few hours later, so we could finally start assembling our costumes.

By all accounts, my family was quite poor—my dad’s teacher salary was stretched to cover a family of six, and my mom only worked part time so she could be around if I broke a bone.

However, my parents never focused on lack or limitation. On the contrary, we were elated whenever my mom picked up those giant blocks of government cheese – they must have weighed thirty pounds! I also loved those big, white, unmarked cans of shredded beef. In fact, I blame my proclivity for Carl Buddig lunch meat on the highly-processed beef from my childhood.

Even though we didn’t have the latest or greatest of anything (our van’s roof was held up by wooden poles because my dad had bought it for $500 after some kids jumped on a bunch of fleet vehicles and the tops caved in), we always had food, clothing, shelter, (used) toys, and transportation. Most importantly, my family had each other, and we had our imaginations.

That being said, the last thing my parents were going to spend money on was store-bought Halloween costumes. Instead, us kids pieced our ensembles together using whatever leftover costume pieces my parents had amassed from doing theater over the years. The collection was filled out with Goodwill finds and the occasional hand-sewn article. Everything was stored haphazardly in a large Tupperware bin that was dragged out ceremoniously each Halloween.

I generally didn’t plan my costumes ahead of time, preferring to let inspiration strike (usually, I was inspired to be a cat). My sister Corry was more creative about her costumes. One year she wanted to be a grocery list. To make the magic happen, my mom cut a hole in a sheet for my sister’s head to poke out and wrote a list of foodstuffs down the front in black permanent marker.

The next year, Corry wanted to go as a carrot, so my mom flipped the sheet inside out and dyed the whole thing orange. She sewed elastic to the bottom of the sheet so it bunched up around her ankles to approximate the pointy end of a carrot, and then she topped it off with a green hat. The overall effect was only vaguely vegetale, but much to my mom’s relief, Corry was pleased.

That year I wasn’t supposed to go trick-or-treating, but somehow I had pleaded my way into the game. I was still pretty sore, so a number of concessions were made. I had to wear my neck brace and my parents insisted on pushing me in my manual wheelchair so I could lean back, padded by pillows. It was also only about 30 degrees Fahrenheit that night, so I was zipped into a large coat. A hat and mittens were also required (as a rule, Halloween costumes in Minnesota need to have enough room for full winter armament underneath). My options were thus significantly limited that year. We ended up draping a cape over the back of my chair and popping a witch hat on my head. My mom added a layer of green make-up on my face.

“Okay kids, let’s get going!” my mom yelled, rallying the troops. She wheeled me to the front door. The older kids were allowed to trick-or-treat by themselves so they ran ahead, and were quickly out of sight. Me and my little brother Greg stuck with my parents and my cousins’ family.

There had been snow forecast overnight, but it was several hours ahead of schedule, and falling much heavier and more quickly than usual. We visited our next door neighbor’s house: “Trick or Treat!” and my brother Greg, dressed as a dashing little vampire complete with fake fangs and a real-life widow’s peak, brought both his bag and mine up to the door to get our candy. I never dwelt on it, but my whole Halloween life I sent a proxy up the stairs to collect.

We made it to a few more neighbors’ doors, but the going was slow. It was snowing at the rate of one inch per house. My parents took turns shoving my manual wheelchair through the snow, but it was getting harder and harder to make the wheels go. The snow was swirling so thick, you could barely see a foot in front of you. Halfway around the first block, my mother conceded to the weather. “Sorry, kids, but we have to head back... I don’t want to get stuck out here.”

We made a fuss, because our candy harvest had barely begun, but we soon obliged. Even us kids could tell this was an unnaturally big storm. Plus my neck was getting sore from all that jostling around. About half an hour later, the older siblings and cousins returned from their quest. They, too, had been slowed by the snowfall, but they had a bigger bounty and they generously shared it with us. We hunkered down for the night, fervently praying for a snow day.

It was still snowing when we awoke the next day. In fact, it snowed a record thirty-six inches in Duluth over that twenty-four hour period. School was shut down on Friday, as expected. But by Monday, the plows still hadn’t made it to our house, so school was canceled again.

We were ecstatic. By then I felt pretty good (little kids heal quickly) and after staring out the window all weekend, I finally got to go sledding with my siblings. It was like another planet.

All was snow. The trees were practically buried in it, branches weighed low. The streets were empty. In fact, they looked like they didn’t even exist. My older brother Ben pulled me on a sled, his own body sinking waist-deep in the snow. He led us down the middle of the road, with nary a car in sight.

Long shall it be remembered, the Halloween Blizzard of 1991!

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Hello Friends!

I hope this message finds you well! Life is going swimmingly in Duluth. The weather is absolutely gorgeous (unseasonably warm, sunny and calm), so I am currently typing this message on our little patio, which has woods to my right and lovely Lake Superior straight ahead of me. It’s one of my absolutely favorite places to read, write, and relax!

As you have probably guessed, I am a spiritual person. I grew up in an evangelical Christian church, but drifted into more Quaker territory during college. I have since learned a little about Buddhism and earth-based religions, and now my faith looks something like a patchwork quilt, or better yet, marbled ink on a sheet of paper. But Christianity (more specifically, Jesus) is very much still woven into my spirituality. I’m guessing that we all have slightly different versions of faith (and some not at all), so I offer this in the spirit of the universal human quest for betterment, love, and peace.

YOUR HEART AS A GARDEN

This morning I read the reflection in my devotional book called “Your True Home” by the late Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. He wrote that we all have seeds of love and cruelty inside of us, and that whatever we water is what will manifest. This is why all beings (and that means us) are capable of love and goodness and cruelty and hate.

I’ve read this idea many times before, but today it struck me differently for some reason. It suddenly became so clear as to why we can act hypocritically sometimes. Even people who genuinely want to put love and goodness into the world will tap into their seeds of anger, fear, cruelty and hate occasionally, which leads to hurt and pain.

I have always been really hard on myself, in a moral sense. This is probably because the evangelical type of Christianity in which I was raised put a lot of emphasis on “washing away sins” and on emulating Christ’s perfect example of love. In my young brain, I took this to mean that if I was a true Christian, it meant my heart would be spotless. I felt (feel) a lot of guilt when I have negative thoughts—ones that are grounded in anger, selfishness, cruelty, or judgement, because they’re unbecoming as a Christian and thus evidence I was (am) “doing it wrong”. I fear(ed) being a hypocrite.

But today’s passage unlocked something for me. What if we, instead, view our hearts as a garden that we have been given to cultivate? What if we accept the fact that weeds (cruelty, fear, selfishness, and hate) are an inevitable part of gardening? We are, of course, attempting to cultivate love and goodness, but we can address our non-loving behaviors with more compassion if we do not turn our hatred inward when we do—inevitably—mess up. Instead, we pull the weed (make amends, forgive others and ourselves, learn from our mistakes) and then go about the business of nurturing the parts of our garden that we want to grow—love, goodness, gratitude, joy, compassion.

WE ARE ALL HYPOCRITES SOMETIMES

So yes, in this sense, we are all going to be hypocrites from time to time, if hypocrite means professing one value and doing something contrary to that value. But instead of denying this or desperately trying to cover our tracks, what if we gave ourselves permission to acknowledge our missteps and even have a sense gratitude for the lessons they’ve taught us? What if this made us softer towards others, recognizing that what we see on the outside may not be the whole story when it comes to other people?

I’m not saying that we should ignore hypocrisy completely. I think, if it is persistent and pervasive, we can be relatively sure that the person in question is not nurturing their own seeds of love and goodness. When Jesus said you can recognize a tree by its fruits, this is what he was talking about—nurturing good seeds brings forth good fruit.

Maybe this person is (even unknowingly) nurturing seeds of fear, greed, judgement, insecurity or competition. This doesn’t make them evil, but if it’s an overarching trend then it does mean it’s unlikely they will be able to encourage you on your own quest to grow in love. Wish them well, show them kindness, and even help them out if it’s not violating your principles and its within your power to do so. And then let them go on their own journey. Hopefully someday they will choose to nurture different seeds.

It’s important to remember that we all do this from time to time—we all act from places of fear or greed or insecurity. But if it becomes our norm, then it means that we are losing track of our garden—it’s getting overrun by weeds. And perhaps someone you encounter or read about on the news really is nurturing the seeds of hate and cruelty. In that case, it’s obvious that you would not want to give them free real estate in the garden of your heart. So be mindful, but don’t devolve into hatred yourself.

FOCUSING ON OUR OWN BUSINESS

We must remember not to get obsessed with the hypocrisy of others, because when we do this it means we’re focusing our energy on judging someone else, when our real work is in our own garden. Stewing over the negative traits or actions of others is a surefire way to nurture the seeds of resentment or even hatred in our own hearts. And these seeds grow like a cancer, undetected at first, but eventually they bear awful fruit.

I am reminded of Byron Katie’s three distinctions:

There’s “my business”, “your business”, and “God’s business”. You really only want to spend your time and energy on your own business. That includes contributing to our communities when we are able to do so, but it does not include micromanaging, “fixing” or judging others. That’s “God’s business”. We must focus on our own work!

So don’t berate yourself when you act contrary to your values… But don’t grow complacent, either. Lovingly pluck errant thoughts or behaviors from the soil of your heart. And if the weeds have developed too deep a root system for you to pull on your own, rent some hydraulic farm equipment to help you (seek counseling or spiritual guidance). Then pour some water on the seeds you want to grow. Love, compassion, mindfulness, joy, creativity—whatever you think will bring more peace into the world.

Jesus said two very important things, and combined they are a solid road-map for life: “Love your neighbor as yourself” and “Judge not, lest you be judged.” Love others and yourself, and don’t spend your time and energy judging others. We can’t fight hypocrisy with even more hypocrisy, and that’s exactly what happens when we get fixated on the faults and shortcomings of others—from our home lives to our politics.

TENDING YOUR GARDEN FIRST

So I guess what I’m saying is that, far from being too small a field, looking within is the perfect space to cultivate peace. Start inside you—the rest will follow. No doubt it takes a lifetime to cultivate a truly peaceful heart; we’ll likely never be completely weed-free. But if we start recognizing our weeds sooner and pull them, rather than acting on them so frequently, we will begin to live with more integrity. Then we can serve people not out of a sense of “proving ourselves” or to convince others (or ourselves) that we deserve to be here, but out of joy and a tender love for ourselves and humanity.

That’s all for today. Haha, it turns out this is a letter to myself as much as it is to you!

But I’ll leave you with this link—it’s a podcast interview I did several years ago about my favorite Buddhist meditation, the loving-kindness meditation. It goes like this:

May I be well. May I be happy. May I be free from suffering.

May you be well. May you be happy. May you be free from suffering.

May all beings be well. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free from suffering.

In love,

Gaelynn Lea

P.S. The cover reveal for my new memoir, It Wasn’t Meant to Be Perfect, is happening later this week! So you’ll be getting another note from me soon. Until then, have a wonderful week and enjoy the amazing turning of the seasons while it lasts!

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Hello, Friends!

I hope this newsletter finds you well, and that you have been enjoying this seasonal transition! I am oddly excited about Fall. I've been feeling drawn to the warming foods and cozy crafts that the colder weather inspires, and also the slowly-changing foliage! Even though the weather tends to be all over the place these days, it still feels magical to see the first maple leaves turn red, just like clockwork.

First, a couple of updates:

1) I'm almost, almost done with the edits on my book! Copyedits are finished, and now the last step before the manuscript is finalized is proofreading. Soon we'll be on to the fun stuff like getting blurbs, cover reveals, pre-orders and planning a book tour… The release is set for April 14, 2026 and it's slowly starting to feel real! Do you have any questions about writing a memoir? Reply to this email, and I'll happily answer them in a future newsletter! Or do you have any fun ideas for promoting the book, or are you part of a book club or a podcast I should know about? I'd love to hear from you!

2) I have some fun events coming up this Fall, including two Sunday Afternoon Substack Zoom Hangouts… I've missed seeing you all, and I can’t wait to reconnect with you in a live setting! These events are for paid subscribers only. Please reply to this email if you require real-time closed captioning or ASL to comfortably attend (otherwise we'll just use Zoom's live captions). These events will not be recorded unless otherwise noted. I hope you can join us at the September 21 Zoom chat (details below)!

INFORMATION OVERLOAD:

So, as you may have noticed, I haven't been writing much lately. Partly this is because the book took over my life for awhile, and partly it's because I've been struggling with the idea of creating even more NOISE in a NOISY world. Like, I don't know about you, but I feel like if I'm not careful I could spend an entire afternoon reading other people's takes on world events, and then still feel pressure to attend that online course I registered for, or read that book I downloaded, or listen to my backlog of podcasts.

We are living in an information age, there's no doubt about it! And although all of the media I consume has value to me, none of it pays my bills, cleans my house, writes my next album, or edits my book. True, sometimes the news I read inspires action, but at the same time I can't constantly be processing world events (I don't think any human is wired for the 24/7 newsfeed world). So then it becomes an issue of time and mental space... Where does the massive amount of information we consume actually fit into our daily lives? Are we giving ourselves time to process or to truly rest our brains?

Perhaps you are good at navigating these issues, but for me it's quite a struggle (it probably isn’t a surprise that this summer I was diagnosed with ADHD—the internet is hands-down the hardest place for me to practice mindful time management). Anyway, it feels like I am drowning in a sea of media, and yet I fear leaving its waters will render me ignorant, disconnected from society, and irrelevant as an artist!

And since I am publishing a memoir this Spring, I can't exactly check out of the internet right now. So if I am going to be a part of the "creator economy", then the real question becomes: what exactly do I want to put into the world? Especially since there are already so many newsletters, podcasts, albums, and video series out there?

RECONNECTING WITH MY VISION:

In early January, I attended a Visioning Retreat by Fairhaven Farms in Duluth (you can download their packet here, or look at YearCompass). Besides walking through the past year and setting intentions for the year ahead, they had us think about our deepest values. I came up with a list of five, which became a kind of mission statement:

"I want to create art (and live a life) at the intersection of beautiful, encouraging, authentic, compassionate, and helpful."

And of course, because I am a sucker for acronyms and Lake Superior, I used the acronym B.E.A.C.H. to help me remember it. Once we had our intentions and values firmly in mind, the workshop leaders set us loose on a huge pile of magazines.

"Cut out anything that catches your eye," they said. "You don't even have to know if it fits on your Vision Board. That's for later. Now just gather the seeds of inspiration."

Well, I chopped like I have never chopped before! By the time our workshop ended, I had a massive pile of pictures and words sitting next to me, and I hadn't even started to glue any of them onto the poster board yet! The workshop organizer kindly sent me home with a glue stick and an old folder to help keep all my colorful scraps together.

A few nights later, after Paul went to bed, I pulled out all my scraps of paper and started dividing them into four piles: Professional, Personal, Physical and Spiritual. I took out four pieces of watercolor paper and then I started gluing them onto the pages. I didn't have a plan, I just kind of laid them out wherever I thought they looked cool. I wasn't sure if everything I had chopped out earlier in the week would have a home on these vision boards, but as it turned out, I ended up using every little scrap!

Here are the results of my Vision Board exercise. I just love looking at it, as it fills me with a big feeling of "YES, PLEASE!"

I couldn't help but notice just how different my 2025 vision board was to the one I made back in 2012... That one was all about travel and playing music and getting married (Paul and I weren't even engaged yet!) and it just feels very active. This time around I’m feeling a lot more home-y, quietly creative vibes. I can tell I'm shifting my focus towards a different craft: writing. It's amazing to me how your subconscious and intuition can guide this process when you let yourself relax, dream, and simply play.

I know cutting out tiny scraps of paper might not be physically feasible for everyone, and that some of you might not be able to access a visual medium like collage. So I wanted to ask: what else speaks to you when it comes to crafting your vision? Free-writing poetry? Googling images and quotes to post on a digital canvas? Making a spreadsheet with columns listing your values, then populating it with the ways that you want to nurture them? Or creating a playlist that speaks to your soul? There's no one right way to connect with your creative vision, but it can be a helpful exercise!

APPLYING MY VISION TO REAL LIFE (AND SUBSTACK):

Anyway, the reason I am writing about this vision board in September (and not January) is that I recently cleaned my closet and I found these vision boards. When I stared at them (and recalled my self-identified values), it helped me to answer a question that's been bugging me for awhile now: Considering all the awful news we've been digesting of late, and the seemingly growing division in our nation, what on earth am I possibly supposed to do in response—as an artist, a citizen, and a human?

For me, the answer lies in the five values I listed above. I want to share things on this Substack that align with these values. I want to behave in a way that demonstrates these values. I want to associate with people and causes that promote these values.

By centering my life and creative work exclusively around these values, I believe I'll feel more inspired, energized, and motivated because I won’t be trying to force myself into someone else's mold. I'll be able to blossom fully, as myself. And hopefully this means I’ll be able to serve others more authentically, from a place of joy and passion.

VALUES IN ACTION: B.E.A.C.H.

• Beautiful: I want to create work (and a life) that is beautiful. To me, this means making things with an attention to detail, created with care, and fostering the idea of "beauty" in some way: a well-worded phrase, a lovely harmony, the glory of the natural world, a cozy living room to rest and recover, the joy in a friend's face.

• Encouraging: I am a fellow traveler on this journey called life, so I never want to position myself as an "expert" at how to live. However, I do want to provide encouragement to others, as an equal, rather than to give people more reasons to despair. This includes striving to be non-judgmental in my relationships.

• Authentic: I really value authenticity, so my goal is to create art (and make choices) that feel in line with my highest truth, instead of trying to fit in with current trends. However, at the same time I am a people-pleaser, and this has gotten me into trouble in the past. I have not always spoken up (kindly, but firmly) when it would have been the most honest to do so, and I frequently find myself overcommitted. So I definitely want to nurture authenticity in my daily life!

• Compassionate: Especially in today's world, I want my behavior and creative work to be compassionate towards others. If disability has taught me anything, it's that every person is inherently worthy of compassion. This includes... Everyone! Jesus said "love your enemies" for a reason—it's because hating people (or having contempt for them) only perpetuates the hate. All of this is easier said than done, of course, but in my own life, as well as in my art and the communities in which I create, I really want to foster compassion… Pretty much above anything else, actually!

• Helpful: Since I am not actually an expert at being human, I can't tell you what will be helpful for you. But at the same time, I have gained so much assistance from authors, coaches, friends, and counselors who have introduced helpful tools to me over the years. So I want to pass this on by sharing with others what has helped me the most. Not as an expert, but out of a sense of comradery. We're all in this together! By the same token, I love learning from others what has helped them in life... So one goal of this Substack is to create a culture of helpful friendship.

So I ask, what are YOUR values? Does identifying what you want to bloom help you to weed the garden of your life, or tend to the parts of yourself you may be neglecting?

It's almost a guarantee your values will be different than mine, which is why I think visioning exercises are so fascinating! We are all unique, yet equally valuable. There are endless ways to be a human, and we can always refine, redefine, and grow!

WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS SUBSTACK:

The thing I am most excited by right now, in terms of Substack, is creating a space where this group of humans can cheer each other on as we strive to live more creative, fulfilling, enriching lives - no matter what kind of body-minds we happen to inhabit. There is lots of loaded language thrown around in spirituality and self-help when it comes to disability, aging, and mental health. So let's create a space that's free from these biases, or at least where we can discuss them with compassion and care. Let's share what's helped us, encourage one another, and create a welcoming community!

Going forward, I am planning to write shorter, but more frequent, posts that relate in some way to one of my five core values. And we'll start doing Zooms again (including interviews)! Even though the internet is often a difficult place to navigate, it can also be a refreshing oasis if used the right way... Like those Zoom discussions with YOU!

Anyway, thanks for reading this post... It’s a long one, but it’s been awhile! Hoping to see you sometime soon, either online or person—full list is below. And if you DO end up doing a visioning exercise, please reply to this email to let me know how it went!

Take care until next time... Thanks so much for all of your support!

Truly,
Gaelynn Lea

UPCOMING EVENTS (ONLINE AND IN-PERSON):

• September 21st: Sunday Substack Chat on Zoom (2pm CT)

  • This Event is for Paid Subscribers: Zoom link is below.

• October 4: Du-Lilth Festival at Chester Park in Duluth, MN

• October 11: Music on Tap at Weatherwax Hall in Jackson, MI

• October 20: Music Inclusion Ensemble at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, VA

• October 23: Library Journal Day of Dialogue Panel Discussion on Zoom (Virtual)

  • 10:05 – 10:55 AM ET | “Living to Tell the Tale” Panel
    Memoirs that delve into identity, heritage, and belonging.

• October 24: Offbeat Roadhouse Radio Show at WTJU in Charlottesville, VA

• November 7 & 8: Keynote and Roundtable at Revolve CC in Marquette, MI

• November 23rd: Sunday Substack Chat on Zoom (2pm CT)

  • This event is for paid subscribers: upgrade to get the link!

Subscribe now

ZOOM LINK FOR SEPTEMBER 21ST SUBSTACK HANGOUT:

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