Hi friends, and Happy Wednesday!

I am currently writing this while listening to the sound of the wind in the palm trees and the crash of waves on the beach. I’m back home in Hawaii this week, visiting my dad and celebrating my high school turning 50. I’m simultaneously finding it hard to relax and hard to find the motivation to do the work that I need to be able to do to afford this self-employed lifestyle I love to live.

It’s a funny thing being able to set everything about your life. On one hand, it allows me to come home and spend time with family, which I couldn’t do as easily with a 9-to-5. On the other hand, it is hard to find the discipline necessary to keep myself motivated.

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But the hardest thing that I’ve found about this new career is simply how much idea generation it takes. In any given week, I write two articles that then get converted to Instagram, I produce two or more videos for Instagram, plus stories and Q&As, and am ideating for the podcast’s return, and trying to do ongoing work on a book!

All of it just takes a lot of creativity, and this week, I’m feeling a bit wrung dry. So that’s why, instead of a classic Gay Buffet piece, I want you to go read someone else’s work, and I’m gonna provide you with some of my favorite Substack’s for you to peruse!

These are in no particular order or reason, and if I’ve forgotten some, PLEASE add them to the comments!

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Good Queer News

Just because good news doesn't make headlines doesn't mean there aren't reasons to celebrate every day! Sharing stories and strategies for building hope and joy wherever we can.

By Ben Greene

All Out with Jon Dean

The No.1 Interview and Documentary Show for Gay Men. Join our All Out Insider Substack: Watch videos early, uncensored and always ad-free. Thank you for keeping this show going — Jon Dean

John Paul Brammer

Writing, art, and more from John Paul Brammer.

Okay McKay

A weekly newsletter about love, life, sex, and everything in between, from PJ & Thomas McKay

By PJ and Thomas

The Queer Love Project

What do we know about love? Find, accept and explore love and commitment among gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans people in queer relationships through storytelling and interviews with LGBTQ+ folx.

By Jerry Portwood

Coach Kevin Martin

Helping gay men heal shame by cultivating mindful + intentional pleasure, authentic self-expression, and deeper connection with themselves and others.

hankycode

Spotlighting queer history as it's happened and documenting it as we move forward.

By Rebecca

gay little th0ts

Gay little th0ts from a tall gay man.

Pathway to Tenderness

Reflections on intimacy, sexuality, and freedom.

By Keanu M. Jackson

The Hinge & The Near Field | Lawrence Winnerman

Connecting the dots on an accelerating world—and turning its hinge moments into near-future fiction.

what are we doing here

I’m a gay dad and former teacher writing about the systems we’re stuck in—and how we raise kids who can break them. If you’re rethinking school, parenting, or your own story, this is your place.

By Matt Fitzpatrick

The Sexistentialist

Desire, bodies, sex, and the small comedies of contemporary life. This newsletter explores gay intimacy, chance encounters, and the stories people tell with their bodies. And yes, there's a lot of sex.

Erin In The Morning

News and discussion on trans legislation and life.

By Erin Reed

CLIMAX

Welcome to the CLIMAX Substack, the home of free Queer S*x Education by Certified Sex & Relationships educator, Max Hovey🍑

By Max Hovey

BOYSLUT

BOYSLUT® combines eroticism and literature, featuring both fictional and real accounts of intimacy, raunchiness, and sex. Author and columnist Zachary Zane also shares his thoughts on sexuality, literature, and the LGBTQ community.

By Zachary Zane

COLLIDE PRESS

A Motley Mix Of Past + Present + Pride 🌈✌️

By Clint Collide

dotBloom

At the intersection of technology, media, and culture. Advocating for ethical technology that serves the public good.

By Ryan Vasquez

Frank

Just pure innocent fun.

By Ira Madison III

When you’re alone, cum is just cum, but when you’re with another person, it becomes something else entirely.

85% of us love cum. How could we not? It’s fun, it feels good, it’s (usually) the ending to a pleasurable experience. But its meaning changes when its context does because your cum matters more to someone else than it does to you.

When you’re jerking off, your own cum is simply a byproduct of the action. It’s a signal that your mission is complete and 9 times out of ten, you just grab a towel and wipe it up before getting on with your day.

But when we’re with another person, cum ascends. It’s still the same warm, sticky fluid it always is, but now it means something. It is imbued with the significance of that precious time spent between two (or more) people.

I’m solidly in that 85% and have interacted with my fair share of cum over the years, but it’s always fascinated me. We assign so much value to this tiny amount of liquid. Even the successful aftermath of last week’s breeding article told me just how deeply we are enamored with ejaculate, and I knew there was more to explore. Sure, we plumbed the depths of what it means to cum inside another person, but what is it that’s so enticing about cum itself? Do we actually care about it as much as I think we do? Is cumming inside someone truly our favorite place to do so? What about everywhere else?

These initial questions led me to build what has now become my most popular survey yet (blowing past last week’s, which had previously held the record), and this article is the cumpilation of all that data.

In this article, we get into all the messy details like how much we really enjoy cum, and the one place where people want to receive it, but not give it. Why some guys cum more than others, what exactly influences the size of your load, and how to make it bigger. We dive into the pressure surrounding cum, how many of us have faked an orgasm, the seven most common reasons that folks don’t cum and what to do about them, and the surprisingly sweet, number one thing people are worried about when they have trouble cumming.

Because, like with most things we explore here in Gay Buffet, cum is about so much more than just the physical act of getting off. And through this research, I learned something heartwarming: that all of our anxieties and concerns are based around how good we want our partner to feel, not ourselves.

Turns out it’s a slippery slope from something carnal to caring.

Don’t believe me? Then read on to learn more about this sticky situation.

Before we unload! Gay Buffet is my sole income. The life of a writer isn’t a wildly lucrative one, but it’s still deeply important to me that my rates are affordable. To that end, my yearly paid sub price is still heavily discounted for those who need it. I know money is tight all around, and I really hope this helps! When you upgrade to a paid subscription, you’re not just getting helpful sex content; you’re also helping me pay rent, buy groceries, and keep the lights on. Thank you so much for your support, I literally couldn’t do this without you.

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Starbucks announced yesterday that Pumpkin Spice is officially back, which signals the official (far too early) slide into fall. I’ll be heading back home to Hawaii next week to celebrate my high school’s 50th birthday and spend some much-cherished time with my dad.

Then it’s back to the grind and my birthday month (I am a cuspy Libra for those wondering). I also finally finished Dungeon Crawler Carl, so if anyone is as engrossed in those books as I was, let’s please talk about them!

Also, I am so blown away at the response to last week’s “The Psychology of Breeding.” It’s already by far my most popular post and brought me hundreds of new subscribers, so if that’s you, welcome! I am so happy you’re here! And if you haven’t read it, here’s the link.

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🔴 Happenings

• Two of Columbus’s Most Celebrated Gay Bars Sold to LGBTQ+ Owners

• Monument to LGBTQ Canadians Officially Unveiled

• ‘Evil Twink’ Photo of Young Pope Benedict XVI Goes Gay Viral

🟠 History

This weekend, my brother sent me a recording of an interview he did with my grandmother on a recent trip he took to Santa Fe. My grandma Sheila (my biological grandmother Eleanor’s wife) was talking about the year that she and Eleanor would spend at the Hialeah House in the San Fernando Valley. They would go out every Friday and, in her words, they became teenagers again.

I started to research Hialeah House and found that details about the bar were remarkably hard to find. This is unsurprising, as a lot of Queer history is ephemeral and we don’t have many markers of what we leave behind. This is the most that I found from a magazine called The Lesbian Tide in 1973.

Read The Entire Zine Here

But it got me thinking about the bars I love that have no historical significance to the world, but immense significance to me. There will never be an article chronicling the immortal significance of the Boxers in Hell’s Kitchen, but that bar has played host to so many of my favorite memories. Similarly, The Dickens, or a small bar in St. Louis whose name I can’t even remember, but holds a cozy memory of Christmas Eve 2019. Queer bars are so important even if they don’t have national significance.

So, from you this week, I’d love to hear about a lovely memory of one of your favorite gay bars. Let’s preserve them as best we can!

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🟡 Music

There’s no way I could publish anything about music today without acknowledging the passing of the incredible Dolly Parton yesterday. Now, I grew up in Hawaii after the heyday of her music, so I didn’t listen to a ton of it on the regular, but still, I was deeply impacted by who she was as a human. Actually, my biggest introduction to her was probably the musical 9 to 5. And yet, can any of us really say that we didn’t have some connection to her? After all, she had so many roles throughout her life: musician, artist, humanitarian, etc.

I can’t think of someone more universally loved than our Queen of Country. Looking through her YouTube to find a song to link, I’m taken by how many other artists are on her page. There are covers of her songs from Lil Nas X to Beyoncé to Miley Cyrus and Pentatonix. She truly gave the world such art and then let us exist with it how we wanted. That, to me, is the sign of true confidence and solidity within oneself.

May she be resting easy, and may her music always be a gift to those who need it.

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🟢 Recs

Last week I had the immense privilege of reading Fruit Fly and attending the book’s U.S. launch at The Strand. For those of you who haven’t heard of Fruit Fly, here’s the pitch: a woman struggling with writer’s block needs her next book idea after her debut best-seller, eight years ago. In search of answers, she hops on the internet and is advised to go sad, go dark, and go gay. Naturally, she makes a fake Grindr profile with her husband’s pictures and ends up meeting Liam, a meth-addict with an agenda of his own.

I will say absolutely nothing more than that because I want you to be just as surprised and delighted as I was reading it. I finished it in under 24 hours, and it is one of the best books I have read in years.

At its heart, it’s a book about who gets to tell whose stories and a commentary on the trend of straight women exploiting gay trauma to make millions. You probably won’t be able to snag a copy for a while because its runaway success was not expected by the publishers, but you can get it on digital or audiobook! Support our gay authors and stay tuned when the adaptation by A24 comes out (the rights adaptation were subject to a huge bidding war too).

Also, just a personal note: Josh is so wonderful and sweet, and listening to him talk at the event and afterward just made me so happy that there are people who deeply care about the darker parts of our community who are getting the recognition they deserve. We’re going to be doing some collaborating over the next few months, so stay tuned and go buy Fruit Fly!

If you’ve read it already, what’re your (spoiler free) thoughts!?

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🔵 Community Spotlight

Name: Justin Tharpe

From: Dothan, AL

Who: I’m a 25-year-old gay man living in Birmingham, AL. I teach 7th grade world history and, in my free time, sing in a semi-professional choir. I’ve been loving Gay Buffet since I first subscribed because of how many things I feel it has taught me about the broader queer community!

Thank you, Justin!! Y’all, this is quickly becoming one of my favorite parts of Gay Buffet. I love seeing y’all’s pictures and learning about you! Today I need two more folks to sign up for the community spotlight!

So, be brave and fill out the form below, tell us a bit about yourself, a little bio, maybe some of your work - anything that you want people to get to know you better! What do you say? Will you help me build some community?

Let's Create Community!

🟣 Advice

Dear Aidan: Is it wrong that I’m bored of having sex with my partner? I love him to bits, but the physical aspect has stopped feeling enjoyable or new and exciting. Kissing and stuff just doesn’t have a spark anymore, which I think he’s noticed. I’ve not told him this, but I’ve entertained the idea of an open relationship, which may help bring the spark back between us?

Hi friend, first of all I want to make it very clear that no, it is not wrong that you are bored of having sex with your partner. This is remarkably common as our brains and our bodies adjust to the intimacy of our long-term partners. Everyone wants their sexual compatibility with their partners to remain as fresh and passionate as it was in the beginning, and that’s what we’re fed in a lot of stories we consume.

Unfortunately, that’s not how our biology works. So, first, I’ll point you toward Esther Perel. She is a therapist who has some incredible insights into why eroticism fades over time in relationships. Her book Mating in Captivity, is an excellent place to start. It explains how familiarity breeds comfort and kills sexual desire. So in her methodology, relationships are about a constant balance of the intimacy of partnership and mystery.

But more specifically, I’d start by just talking to your partner. See if there are underlying reasons that your sex life has changed. A great piece of advice I’ve heard is that “if there’s a lull in your sex, you don’t have to be embarrassed to talk about it because both partners are aware of how much sex you are or are not having.”

Once you explore the issue, you can introduce solutions like toys, people, or kinks. Now, these things can help build passion, but will not often fix the underlying issue. That’s the same for openness. It can be a really helpful release valve, but make sure that you’re not using it to cover up a problem. If you cover up the problem with it, then the issues can build. If you use it in conjunction with other methods of problem-solving, then I’d say that’s great.

The lack of spark can feel really scary, but I promise it’s a navigable obstacle, so have hope and remember all the other strengths that you and your partner have too!

Please, if you have your own question that you’d like advice on, submit below! This is only fun for me when I have y’alls excellent questions♥️

Ask Your Own Question

Alrighty folks, well that is all from me this week; stay kind out there!

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For the last forty years, gay sex has been synonymous with risk, and breeding its delivery mechanism.

Now, in 2026, with the advent of PrEP and DoxyPEP, has the act of breeding returned to what it once was?

With sweat covering bodies, blood pounding through every vein, the movement of both bodies matching in intensity as breathing becomes labored and muscles start to tense. Then finally in that ecstatic moment, the sex transforms into something that is simultaneously physical, intimate, and primal.

The moment of release when DNA mixes and both parties collapse, spent, knowing that no matter what else, they just shared an undeniable moment of connection, proven by the evidence left behind.

Have we returned to a primal, uninhibited experience leading to a climax that can bond two people like only raw sex can?

Even the word breeding carries so much weight. For gay men who cannot literally procreate, what does that word mean? For some it is the pinnacle of emotional intimacy. For others it’s a quest to collect as many loads as possible. For some it’s a way to literally preserve the sexual experience, a souvenir of the connection that just took place.

But I’ve been curious about what lies past the physical act of breeding, beyond the sweat and cum. I wanted to know just what breeding does to us emotionally, intellectually, and, yes, also physically.

Through my most popular survey yet, I found that 81% of us are having raw sex always or mostly. The sex that leads to breeding is our new baseline, a far cry from even ten years ago, when condoms were the norm.

It’s something so many of us do, but we never talk about what it means. Does where someone cums matter that much? Where do folks think is the most intimate place someone can cum? How important is breeding anyway? What do you do with the cum after, and what does that say about the sex itself?

Because even though gay men have a particularly cavalier attitude around sex, our actions have consequences, and for something that held danger for so long, are we finally closing a gap that AIDS created?

This article answers all of those questions and more. We unpack the five main reasons why bottoms like to get bred and the five main reasons why tops like to breed. We get deep into what breeding does to relationships between partners and even strangers. This article is filled to the brim with tons of quotes directly from all of you, because I can’t do this alone. After all, breeding isn’t just about cum, it’s about how we come together.

Ready? Let’s dive in.

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A quick note! Gay Buffet is my sole income, and now that I’ve hit 1,000 paid subscribers, my prior sale has ended, but I really want to make sure that my rates are still affordable. To that end, my yearly paid sub price is still heavily discounted for those who need it. I know money is tight all around, and I really hope this helps! When you upgrade to a paid subscription, you’re not just getting helpful sex content; you’re also helping me pay rent, buy groceries, and keep the lights on.

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I hope you all are enjoying these August summer days. I cannot believe we’re already approaching September; that is crazy to me. I spent the last week on Fire Island and am really struggling to find the balance between work and vacation brain. But it’s always nice to come back to the computer and spend some time typing out my…

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No sleepovers with other people.

No having sex with someone else in our bed.

No having sex with anyone in our friend group.

Those are the three most common rules when it comes to open relationships.

“What are your rules?” is one of the most common questions I get asked, but it’s tricky to answer since what works for one couple is not going to be the same for another. Yet, clearly communicated rules and guidelines are the backbone of any healthy open relationship.

Whatever your rules are, you have to be able to communicate about them clearly and know exactly what they are in order to effectively move through this experience with ease.

Many couples like to wing their rules and say that communication is enough, but that can easily open you up to misunderstanding. This is why I always advise couples to get as specific as they feel comfortable. Especially since our emotions and feelings are constantly shifting and changing, and when there are multiple people involved, it can be really easy to exist within a grey area that allows for hurt feelings even though you ‘technically didn’t break any rules.’

These rules are so important, but coming up with them can be really challenging. How are you supposed to think of every scenario that could upset you? How can you come up with all of these situations before they happen? Are you and your partner really on the same page?

That’s where I come in. Today I’ve compiled a list of all the most frequently used rules by open couples I could find. They’re taken from couples I know, Reddit threads, posts by therapists and other sex educators, and compiled into a list of over 60 specific rules that you can take or leave. Here are a few examples:

• You can have as many lunch dates as you want, but dinner dates are only by agreement.

• Schedule dates with us as often as you have them with others.

• Check in via text when you’re with someone; only call when it’s an emergency.

• Only attend kink or sex parties together.

You can explore this list with your partner or do it solo, but I guarantee that reading these rules will only help and strengthen your relationship, especially if there have been things you’ve wanted to bring up but didn’t know how. There are even a few on here that I’d never seen before!

And all of them revolve around the same concept: how can we explore other connections while always cultivating and nurturing our primary relationship?

So, if you’ve been wanting a little bit more structure in your open relationship, or if you’ve been feeling a bit insecure about it lately, or are just curious about other people’s rules, click that upgrade button and enjoy!

Let’s dive in.

A quick note! Gay Buffet is my sole income, and now that I’ve hit 1,000 paid subscribers, my prior sale has ended, but I really want to make sure that my rates are still affordable. To that end, my yearly paid sub price is still heavily discounted for those who need it. I know money is tight all around, and I really hope this helps! When you upgrade to a paid subscription, you’re not just getting helpful sex content; you’re also helping me pay rent, buy groceries, and keep the lights on.

Thank you so much for your support; I truly couldn’t do this without you. -Aidan

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Hello friends and happy Wednesday!

I have something really special and exciting for you today from my dear friend Eliot Glazer, well-known for his performance as Eliot, the brother to his real-life sister Ilana Glazer on Broad City. Which, if you haven’t seen Broad City, you are m…

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None of us got gay sex ed in school, which is fucked because now we have to figure it out on our own.

As I was strolling around New York yesterday, I saw countless signs for back-to-school shopping, and it got me reminiscing.

Each year my school would send out a list of all the things I needed for the year ahead.

With the list in hand, I was off to shop! I’d stroll the aisles of our local Office Max, choosing binders, folders, pens, pencils…and each choice contributed to what my personality would be that year. Would I be a neutral colors guy or a cool patterns guy? Would I get the sleek backpack or the utilitarian? Would I finally use the planner that I so excitedly bought? Spoiler alert: I never did.

So naturally, I emerged from my reverie and thought, “Well shit, you know what would be useful, a gay sex shopping list.” After all, it has taken me a decade of living in New York and a decade and a half of having sex to finally assemble all of the things that I need to have sex.

Now, this list is not mandatory! You do not have to go out and buy every single thing on this list. But I can assure you that everything on this list will contribute to you having better sex. It’s got everything from my favorite supplements to a non-leaking, perfect travel lube bottle, to the best fissure/hemmorhoid ointment my doctor told me, and the douche that literally changed my life (not hyperbolic).

And disclaimer, this may sound like a sponsored post, but none of these companies have given me money in any way. I just think that they’re great products and the more knowledge we have, the better.

So, get ready to unlock all the essentials you need to have the best sex of your life.

Ready? Let’s dive in.

A quick note! Gay Buffet is my sole income, and now that I’ve hit 1,000 paid subscribers, my prior sale has ended, but I really want to make sure that my rates are still affordable. To that end, my yearly paid sub price is still heavily discounted for those who need it. I know money is tight all around, and I really hope this helps! When you upgrade to a paid subscription, you’re not just getting helpful sex content; you’re also helping me pay rent, buy groceries, and keep the lights on.

Thank you so much for your support; I truly couldn’t do this without you. -Aidan

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Hello friends and happy Wednesday!

Last week I crossed a pretty big milestone, one that I had been working towards for a long time: I hit 1,00 paid subscribers! In Substack-land, that means that your white checkmark turns into an orange checkmark and people think you’re a little bit fancier than you once were.

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How do I tell someone I want them to piss on me?

That’s one of the questions I was asked yesterday on Instagram.

In fact, many of the questions I get asked are in a similar vein. People want to be tied up. People want to be degraded. People want to be humiliated. People want to be stepped on. People want to be told what to do. People want to choke and be choked.

We all have secret desires that fill us with shame at the same time they’re making our blood pound, and it all comes down to the same questions.

How do I tell someone what turns me on? What will they think? Am I weird?

Talking about your kinks and your desires is remarkably challenging. After all, society has conditioned us to think that anything outside of procreative sex is abnormal and shameful. This is why talking about kink can be so challenging, and permitting yourself to explore it can be even more daunting.

Luckily, I found a great resource to help us do just that.

As some of you may know, I’m currently getting my sexuality educator certification through the Sexual Health Alliance, and this week, in my studies, I learned about a really fascinating tool called a “Yes, No, Maybe List.”

The concept is simple. You print out one of these lists of sexual practices and mark yes, no, or maybe depending on how you feel about the practice in question.

For example, if you were into choking, it would look like this

Choking: Yes [ x ] Maybe [ ] No [ ] G/R/B [ G ]

Keep reading to see what G/R/B means 😈

Suddenly, here was a great way to talk about your kinks! But the more I searched, the more I realized that none of these felt particularly gay. I mean, they didn’t mention poppers, edging, gooning, sex at an afters, gym cruising, outdoor cruising, camming, or anything else I’ve written about in the past month.

So, I decided to compile my own unapologetically gay Yes, No, Maybe List that doesn’t exist anywhere else on the internet. In its FIVE pages, it’s got everything including dom/sub dynamics, anal beads, watersports, dirty socks, pits, sex at an airport, and even using words like good boy, cumslut, or faggot during sex. Plus a few things I know you’ll have to look up.

This list is great for long-term couples who want to spice up their sex life, new couples getting to know each other, and even single folks looking to explore a little bit of their own sexuality.

I promise you that just reading the form will turn you on and excited to try out some of these things yourself. I know because that’s what happened to me creating it.

This type of worksheet is a first for me, and I’m so excited for you to use it and will be the first of some more tangible things that you can actually use! And it’s in a cute PDF, so you can print it out and get into it tonight.

Just hit that upgrade button below, fill it out, and you’ll be on your way to unlocking those deep desires you’ve always wondered about.

Ready? Let’s dive in.

A quick note! Gay Buffet is my sole income, and now that I’ve hit 1,000 paid subscribers, my prior sale has ended, but I really want to make sure that my rates are still affordable. To that end, my yearly paid sub price is still heavily discounted for those who need it. I know money is tight all around, and I really hope this helps! When you upgrade to a paid subscription, you’re not just getting helpful sex content; you’re also helping me pay rent, buy groceries, and keep the lights on.

Thank you so much for your support; I truly couldn’t do this without you. -Aidan

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Hello friends from New Jersey, where Casey and I are staying with his parents while he recovers from hip surgery last week. As you’ll see below, I’m doing some big work this week, so today’s article is going to be short and sweet and to the point!

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🔴 Happenings 🔴

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The worst thing a bottom can do is paint.

At least that’s what the internet would have you believe.

Enter douching, the gay man’s answer to having sex without worry.

It’s a time-honored tradition. You enter the bathroom with your hopes held high, turn on the sink, and grab your trusty bulb. Perhaps you’ve lit a candle, and some pop diva is wailing at you from your phone’s tinny speaker. You fill up that rubber bulb, spread a little lube and slide it gently in. The water fills you up, and then you wait…and wait...before squatting over the toilet, releasing the floodgates, and repeating until the water runs clear.

To be honest, douching is my least favorite part about being gay. It can be stressful, it doesn’t feel sexy, and it puts so much pressure on the bottom.

And it sucks so much because we’re not taught how to douche properly. I learned from a cartoon infographic (which did change my life and is linked below). Furthermore, since many of us douche out of fear, this leads to overdouching or douching improperly because we think that more is better.

It’s not.

In fact, read on, and you’ll find out why my dear friend and bottoming expert Alex Hall of the Bottom’s Digest says that if you “drop the elaborate douching routine, you’ll be skipping out of that bathroom faster than ever before.”

So read on for all the answers to your douching questions, like, how long should I douche for? Should I take Imodium? What’s a sigmoid colon and why does it matter? Are folks doing the Captain Morgan stance, toilet squatting, lying on the floor, or on all fours?

There’s so much to unpack like:

• A quick anatomy lesson so you know what NOT to do,

• Seven steps to make douching more enjoyable

• Tips and tricks from our own community

• How our tops actually feel about a little mess

• And even an invention that may end the need for douching altogether.

So, let’s turn on the faucet of knowledge and get to the bottom of this for bottoming’s sake.

Before we clean out: While Gay Buffet is my sole income, I want to make sure my rates are still affordable. To that end, my yearly paid sub price is still heavily discounted for those who need it. I know money is tight all around, and I really hope this helps! When you upgrade to a paid subscription, you’re not just getting helpful sex content; you’re also helping me pay rent, buy groceries, and keep the lights on.

Thank you so much for your support; I truly couldn’t do this without you. -Aidan

Subscribe now

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Hello friends and happy Wednesday! First off, lemme just say I have been so blown away by the response people had to last week’s Popper’s article! Y’all had lots to say, and it’s definitely going to direct me towards more of this type of writing going forward!

For today we’ve got:

• Lesbians and Lesbos

• A Queer Country Album

• A Polish Gay…

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A little brown bottle is lifted to your nose, you inhale, hold your breath, and start to feel the warm glow of euphoria spread through your body. The flush grows in you, and perhaps you start to giggle, perhaps you start to get ravenously horny. You feel your body start to relax and then, before you know it, it’s gone, the feeling’s evaporated from your body, leaving you in a silly, contented afterglow.

Poppers and gay men have been a match made in heaven for decades. From sex parties to dance parties and everything in between, there are few things as synonymous with being gay as these little brown bottles.

And yet there’s precious little media out there covering just how we feel about them. Yes, there are articles about the health effects, outcry when the FDA banned them, and RIP Double Scorpio, but how much do we really know about these chemicals?

Do you know what that liquid is actually made of? Are we using them primarily to help relax our holes, or are we using them to access a primal part of our sexuality that only becomes activated when that nitrite hits our brains? What is a nitrite anyway? Are we primarily using them alone, with partners, or recreationally on the dance floor?

This article answers those questions and more. We unpack the three main chemical makeups of poppers, which you should buy, and why only some of them give you headaches. How people are using them and just exactly we’re getting up to with them (I’ll give you a hint, there are two Ps involved). We also unpack the health effects without cause for alarm and finally round it out with eight tips for newbies and old-timers alike, including one TIP that every top has to read if they want their bottoms to have a good time.

So before you go and grab the first bottle of Rush you see at your corner smokeshop, read this article so you actually know what you’re doing, and there’s even some poppers poetry in here too.

Ready? Let’s unscrew the top and take a hit.

Before we huff! While Gay Buffet is my sole income, I want to make sure my rates are still affordable. To that end, my yearly paid sub price is still heavily discounted for those who need it. I know money is tight all around, and I really hope this helps! When you upgrade to a paid subscription, you’re not just getting helpful sex content; you’re also helping me pay rent, buy groceries, and keep the lights on.

Thank you so much for your support; I truly couldn’t do this without you. -Aidan

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Hello friends, and Happy Wednesday!

I am writing to you from the historic Chrystie House up in Beacon, NY where I have absconded for the last few days on a much-needed, self-imposed writing retreat. I’ve got more on this below, but let me just say, if you can, find a way to take a step back and break …

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The lights are off. The blinds are pulled. The only light emanates from the computer screen you’re sitting in front of. A bottle of lube sits next to you as you search for the perfect video to get you started. Perhaps you’re alone, perhaps you’ve got your boys on cam. Either way, a long night lies ahead, a night of mindless pleasure, a meditative trance.

This is the bliss of gooning.

Gooning used to be a fringe pleasure, existing on the outskirts of porn communities, but has been gaining popularity in the years post-COVID. Even so, there are many misconceptions and mysteries surrounding this activity.

When most people think of gooning, they imagine a loner in his room, jerking off for hours, and it’s primarily this timeframe we judge. Yet we hold sex to a different standard than other solo activities. Three hours spent binging TV isn’t so bad. Three hours of hiking is fine. Three hours of reading in a coffee shop sounds lovely. So why do we pathologize three hours watching porn or jerking off? It’s this misconception that drew me to the topic.

Now, I’m no stranger to porn or edging, but this felt one step beyond what even I knew much about, so I rolled up my sleeves and dove into the research armed with questions and an open mind.

Is gooning confined to a hypersexualized world of loners? How long does one goon for and what kinds of content are being consumed? What separates gooning from the much more common experience of edging? How much of this is a performance vs a truly erotic, spiritual experience?

Boy, did y’all have loads to say. Your responses to this survey completely changed my mind about what gooning is and the role it plays in both meditative pleasure and even community building.

So, come with me as we explore the four main differences between edging and gooning, with first-hand (pun intended) accounts of exactly how meditative gooning can be. We also get into the ways it can enhance your sex life, the darker negative impacts to watch out for, and how both edging and googing could be secretly altering your relationship to sex.

Lastly, we bring it to a climax with some tips for your first time gooning, so if you’ve ever been curious, you can give it a try tonight…or whenever you have your next few hours free.

If you’re as curious as I am, fire up that browser, and let’s dive in.

Before we slick up: While Gay Buffet is my sole income, I want to make sure my rates are still affordable. To that end, my yearly paid sub price is still heavily discounted for those who need it. I know money is tight all around, and I really hope this helps! When you upgrade to a paid subscription, you’re not just getting helpful sex content; you’re also helping me pay rent, buy groceries, and keep the lights on.

Thank you so much for your support; I truly couldn’t do this without you. -Aidan

Subscribe now

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I spent Pride week on Fire Island and had a bit of an epiphany.

I met lots of new folks on the isl…

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“Why did you have sex with him?”

“Well, I thought it was okay, and I technically didn’t break any of our rules!”

A lot of open couples have had this type of argument. Not because either partner is inherently untrustworthy, but because open relationships require much more communication than we’re used to, and sometimes we get it wrong.

I’ve definitely made this mistake. A few years ago, I hooked up with someone whom my husband and I had previously decided was okay. I was out, ended up hooking up with said friend, and told Casey when I got home that night, thinking he’d be okay with it. He was not.

Since I hadn’t confirmed beforehand, I had allowed myself to exist in a grey area that ended up hurting my husband. We really quickly learned from this experience that even the same person can feel different on different days and that we must always communicate beforehand.

Over the past eight years, Casey and I have had to figure out all the rules that work for us through trial and error. But we wished we had had some form of conversation starter at the beginning to iron out some of the bigger questions necessary for opening a relationship. That way, we wouldn’t have had to figure them out in the heat of the moment.

So, we’ve made the list that we wish we’d had: 36 questions you must ask before you open your relationship (or at least within the first few months).

These questions are vital to ask because we all have different definitions of sex, love, intimacy, and romance. It’s important to uncover exactly how you and your partner see sex, where you can have it, with whom, how you want to talk about it afterwards, and even whether you need a post-care ritual.

Organized in three sections, they’re the questions you need to ask yourself, the questions you need to ask about the relationship, and the questions you need to ask about the people you’re going to be having sex with.

The first set is for you to answer alone, then bring the second and third sets to your partner and do them together. Have fun with it! Make a nice dinner and go over your answers together. Take these at your own pace, as the questions may bring up some hard emotions, so make sure to have something after that brings you two together again. A nice tasty treat, a walk, sex, a cuddle, a movie, whatever makes you two feel connected.

Open relationships take lots of work, and the most important thing is to be crystal clear about your expectations and needs. So, without further ado, let’s get you and your partner some much-needed clarity so that you can fight less, have more fun, and finally clear up any pesky misunderstandings you’ve been struggling with.

Before we click play: Gay Buffet is my main source of income, but I need your help to hit my goal of 1000 paid subscribers.So, until I hit that number, my subscription price is lowered to just $24/year (234 to go!). I know that money is tight all around, so if price was standing in the way for you, I really hope this helps, and I hope you enjoy!

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As many of you know, Fire Island is one of my favorite places on the planet, but it’s not a place without controversy.

Known primarily for its debaucherous tales, late nights, and wild sex, Fire Island has a reputation for good reason, but that’s not why I love it. I love it for the quiet, sun-drenched coffee walks along the beach, spotti…

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As Pride approaches, many of us are about to be in this…hard…situation.

Picture this: You go out one night on a raucous adventure with your friends. It starts out tame enough, but eventually you go to one bar, then another, perhaps a party, you’re dancing harder than you’ve ever danced, and drinking probably a bit too much than you should. Perhaps you go to a drag show, and hand out your dollar bills with abandon because we’re always tipping our queens. Then you drag yourself home and collapse on the bed, relishing in that incredible feeling of the mattress cradling you, before you fall asleep.

Then you wake up.

The sunlight is streaming through the window, bright enough to make you wonder if you’ve turned into a vampire overnight. You reach for water, groaning as your muscles protest. Your head is pounding, and your stomach is queasy.

But your head isn’t throbbing as hard as your dick is.

In fact, somewhere between the pain and the nausea sits….horniness?

The more you think about it, the more you can’t shake this inherent urge to bone. It almost feels primal, as if just a little bit of pleasure could be the thing to cure what an Advil can’t. I experience this all the time when I’m hungover. I think, “What could possibly be wrong with me, that my body is sending such contrasting signals to my brain?” And yet it’s all I can focus on.

It turns out, scientists have actually studied this, and I’ve found four primary reasons: social patterning, uncontrollable dicks, alcohol myopia, and a type of natural comedown. So, as Pride Weekend looms and many of us prepare for long weekends ahead, let’s dive deep into those four reasons and finally find out why hangovers make you horny and why sex may actually be just the thing to cure those morning-after blues.

Ready? Let’s dive in.

Before we click play: Gay Buffet is my main source of income, but I need your help to hit my goal of 1000 paid subscribers.So, until I hit that number, my subscription price is lowered to just $24/year (230 to go!). I know that money is tight all around, so if price was standing in the way for you, I really hope this helps, and I hope you enjoy!

Get 75% off for 1 year

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