I’ve been kind of obsessed with seeing ’ illustrated recipes.

They’re a bit of sunshine on random days when I’m scrolling through Substack.

Something about seeing her handmade, playful recipe pages makes me want to print them out and put them on my kitchen wall (and then make + enjoy these dishes).

I mean just look at this one. How do you not fall in love with her design?

But after some months of seeing and admiring her work, I realized it was time to finally try one of her recipes.

And her recipe for nasi goreng (Indonesian fried rice) looked like a great place to start.

I had been wanting to make it for while, but whenever I thought about it, I was living in a city that didn’t have all the ingredients I’d need. I travel full-time so some cuisines are just off the table depending on the city.

But now that I’m in Panama City for half a year, I have access to a very large Asian community and their stores. And that meant I was able to find all the ingredients on the list + make a random, quick stop at a Hong Kong bakery to grab some taro buns. 👌

And in this recipe review, I’m going to talk about two things:

1. Whether this dish was worth making in the end.

2. Things I added + other cooking notes.

I love curating and highlighting beautiful things + wonderful creators which is the whole reason why I’m doing this review. So I hope you like it and I also hope I’ve helped you find another lovely space on the internet with Anna’s work.

Was The Illustrated Kitchen’s Nasi Goreng Recipe Try-Worthy? (No Glazing, I Promise)

Legit, this was the best fried rice I’ve ever had.

I love Thai, Japanese, Mauritian, and Chinese fried rice, but the Indonesian version is so wonderfully layered in incredible flavors.

The different components like the Indonesian sweet soy sauce, shrimp paste, chilis, tamarind, aromatics, and other rich ingredients made me feel like I was back in Bali.

Like I was sitting in a cute warung enjoying this savory rice dish in the warm, humid air of Ubud once again.

So if you want an authentic, restaurant-worthy dish that makes a random weeknight feel a lot more special, then nasi goreng is your answer.

How to Best Enjoy This Dish

• On a Wednesday night with a good friend & jazz playing in the background + extra crisp, cold drinks.

• On a balcony, back porch, or by an open window with a nice breeze.

• As a solo dinner date at home on Friday to start off the weekend (and maybe some bossa nova playing + dessert in the oven).

Things I Added and My Cooking Notes

I made sure to stay loyal to the original recipe, but there were just a few things I decided to add as a topping:

• She suggested cucumbers as a possible topping, but I decided to be a bit extra and make oi-muchim (Korean cucumber salad). It added more color + fun flavors. Also, it’s super easy to make. Here’s the recipe I used for oi-michim if you’re curious.

• You can top it with just an egg, but I wanted a bit more protein for dinner so I also added chicken cooked up in the same kecap manis (Indonesian sweet soy sauce), sesame oil, and gochugaru. Easy and very good. 👌

• She also says to add extra kecap manis if you want more sweetness. Please take her suggestion; it’s a little too good and really sets the dish apart.

• For the sambal, it called for 6 red chilis, or fewer for less heat. I had to use local Panamanian ají chombo which are pretty hot, so just make sure to taste as you go (with whatever chili you choose) so the spiciness isn’t too intense. I think I only used 2 at most even though I really like spicy food.

• Having day-old cooked rice really does make a difference; it’s able to soak up so much more of the spices and aromatics.

• If you’re making your own fried shallots as a garnish, keep any eye on them, they cook very fast.

Trying Anna’s recipe really made my week, and I really do look forward to making even more of her dishes in the future.

Also, if you want to make her nasi goreng, you can find it here. Enjoy!

PS - Who’s recipes should I try next?

DISCLAIMER: This is a human written article. I did not type a prompt into ChatGPT so I could give you regurgitated slop.

First off, I want to say that there is nothing wrong with you.

You are a human living in a world full of other humans who have a propensity to knowingly (or unknowingly) give you wounds.

And these wounds can be the source of so many insecurities.

But as I said in my article on how to be a good conversationalist:

It doesn’t matter who you were in high school or what others have thought of you. All that matters is now and the you you’re willing to create.

You don’t have to reject yourself just because others have rejected you.

So if you feel that loneliness is a chronic illness you’ll never be able to shake, that it’s just your lot in life, just know that those thoughts have always been lies.

You are not an especially messed up person that just can’t get it right.

You are you, you are lovely, and you deserve to one day be an 85 year old who is (very) happy with the decisions they made in life.

And one of the first decisions you should make this year is to not settle for loneliness; life is too short not to be loved & you deserve love.

So here is my tested + approved advice on how to find true connection and not give up on yourself.

1. Get in the Friend Flow

I remember hearing someone’s story about wanting to get married. He wanted to fall in love and find his life partner.

So he did something he called “the woman flow.”

He had friends introducing him to women, he got himself out there, and he found so many opportunities for finding that right person.

And I feel like it’s so important to do that with friends, hence why I’m calling it “The Friend Flow.”

If your regular routine isn’t giving you results, then it’s time to change things up. It’s time to give yourself the friendship opportunities you deserve. Here are a few ways to get into that friend flow:

• Local Facebook Groups: No really. It’s how I met some really close friends. I posted in a local FB group about wanting to hang out with people who had one of my specific interests, people reached out, I hung out with a few of them, and two of them ended up becoming amazing friends. Great decision. 👌

• Join meetups/groups you’d legit like to be apart of: Here’s what I mean. I feel like you and I always hear the same advice of joining a workout class or book club. Nothing wrong with them, but if you don’t actually like doing these things, then you might not find people that fit you. Get specific. If you like exploring new cuisines or hiking to scenic outlooks, join groups that do these kind of things on sites like Meetup.

• Taking classes + compliment: First, look into a class with a topic that genuinely interests you. Could be something you want to get better at in general as well. This works because again, you’re in a space with others who want to learn the same things you’re interested in. You have something in common. Second, see one person who seems nice, and once the teacher ends the class, compliment them. (Genuine) compliments are an easy and wonderful way to connect with someone and make them feel comfortable around you. You show that you’re kind and someone they’d like to talk to. You’re friend material.
  This doesn’t mean you’re setting up a coffee date right then (or it could), but it opens up a space for you to maybe then talk about the class, how they’re liking it, and what they think of the topic. You’re starting a connection, feeling the person out, and then seeing if you can take it further that day or later on.

• Apply same compliment technique in other situations: You can take that ice-breaker compliment technique and just copy + paste it as much as you want. Coffee house? Yep. Volunteer or religious group meetup? Go for it. Workshop or farmer’s market? Most definitely.

2. Look for People Who Are Going to Look At You Like a Classical Painting

Here’s what I mean:

You see an incredible classic painting. You see that it’s beautiful, that it’s something to be admired, that it’s something to be noticed. But you also want to get closer, to see the finer details, to admire the time + workmanship that went into the painting. You want to know its meaning, what inspired the artist, why they chose certain colors that set a certain mood.

Find people that treat you like that.

It doesn’t have to be on the first few meetings, but as they get to know you and see more of you, they should start admiring and caring about the beauty that is you.

And this also just goes into knowing what you’re worthy of.

Every single year is too short to be around people who will never stop monologuing about themselves while never caring about you as an entity.

If every time you hang out with someone and they’re always running late (they don’t respect your time), or they’re saying some small, cutting thing (they don’t care about your feelings), or the attention is always back on them (they don’t care you exist), then it’s time to discontinue this connection.

Last Thought On This:

One of the things I write on is taste (hence the name), and this goes hand-in-hand with finding good friends. Taste can be about who gets access to you, not just what you wear or consume. Essentially, it’s not just knowing what you personally find beautiful, but it is knowing what (or who) is worthy of your attention.

3. Make it About the Other Person

Side Note: I love this image so much. I have no idea where they are; looks like south of France? Scratch that, there’s an American flag off to the right, who knows.

Oh my goodness, I cannot emphasize this step enough.

It is essential for getting out of your head (if you’re nervous) + making very close, very good friendships.

I remember talking to an old friend of mine on the very first day we met. I asked her, “How are you so outgoing?” And she let me know that she used to be very socially awkward when meeting new people (would’ve never guessed). But one of the main things that changed this was that she started making it about the other person.

She put the focus on them and making them feel more comfortable. She’d ask them questions + make them feel important.

And since having adopted this mindset myself, it really has made meeting new people, starting conversations, and making new friends so much easier.

Side Note: I talk more about this (+ other ways to be really confident) in my article on How to Become a Disgustingly Good Conversationalist. :)

4. Know That It’s Ok if It Doesn’t Work Right Away

This is advice for potential friend prospects + those that just won’t work.

For potential friends: If the first hangout session didn’t feel quite right, just know that sometimes you need another hangout session (or two or three). Give it a bit of time, see how you connect the next hangout session, and you might have a very close friend for life.

For when it just didn’t work out: That’s ok, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. In fact, you’re trying which means you’re winning. You’re going to find your people if you don’t stop.

5. Build Out Your Own Life & Become the Kind of Person Others Would Want to Hang Out With

Build out your life for you and for others.

Create a life that you love existing in.

So do the things that make you happy and become interested in life itself. Find ways to grow as a person, and get rid of the things (or people) that are dragging you down. Develop opinions about books, food, philosophy, or interiors. Learn why you love a certain kind of architecture or music genre. Go deep into rabbit holes on topics that genuinely make you curious and build cool, new skills you’ve put off for years.

This does two things:

1. It makes it so that when potential friends do enter your life, you know what you’re actually worthy of + you won’t settle.

2. You have something to offer + more of you to share with others. Life isn’t always about us. I’m not saying you need to become a slave to other people’s desires and feelings, but you do want to treat others the way you would want to be treated. Or in this case, you want to be the kind of friend that you personally need. Also, you’re just developing a life worth inviting people into.

Not being lonely and finding friends is so much more than just finding people you can talk to on a weekly basis.

It’s about finding people who are worthy of knowing every small and big detail about you. It’s about finding people who will genuinely care about you as much as you care about them.

Also, I write on living a more elevated + intentional life, so what better way to do that than to usher people into your world who don’t make you feel lonely?

Your life was meant to be beautiful, so make it more lovely with the people you add.

Buy me a coffee to support my work. ☺️

DISCLAIMER: No AI was used in the writing of this article. Why would I waste your time if I didn’t spend any of my own writing this article?

I had a TikTok go viral where I shared affordable rituals that felt like luxury.

But it was the comment section that really made my entire month.

It was filled with 3,000+ responses from people sharing their thoughts + the rituals they personally did that felt like luxury.

I poured over these comments & absolutely loved how these people were bringing beauty into their everyday lives.

And while I wrote an Affordable Rituals That Feel Like Luxury Part I, I felt like it was time for a part 2 that completely focused on this incredible comment section.

I want to share with you ways you can make your average day not feel so ordinary.

It’s so important to find ways to change the way your entire week looks, and bring the lovely things back into your life. You deserve to live a life that you love existing in.

So read over these ideas and let me know the things you’re personally doing to bring a bit of affordable luxury into your own life. I’d love to hear about it! ♥️

1. Fridays Are Great, But Make Sundays Special Too

It’s easy to dread Sundays.

They’re the end to your time off and usher in the start of another workweek.

But multiple commenters showed me that Sundays can actually be the best day in your week + set you up for a much better Monday.

“Sunday night... Bubble bath, beverage of your choosing in a fancy glass, candles, and a book. Then matching PJs for bed. Monday mornings have been so much better.” - DOTTIE

“Champagne on a Sunday morning reading the Times or a book on a screened in porch in the South. A fan going, the dog sleeping. Perfection.” - KELLY

“I go to the park on Sunday afternoons. I take a blanket, a book, a bottle of sparkling wine and fresh fruit and cheese! a fancy and posh mini picnic while I enjoy a book!” - JENNYTHATGIRL210

Honestly, I have no idea why I didn’t think about doing any of these things with my Sundays. ♥️

2. Curated Coffee Table Reads > Doomscrolling

While this is actually a comment from my article, 8 Chic Things to Do This Week Instead of Doomscrolling, I had to share it. It’s totally an affordable luxury ritual, so I couldn’t skip it:

“One thing I started doing to combat the itch to look at pretty things (which inevitably turns into a doomscroll) is picking a weekly coffee table book at the library. Low stakes flipping through antique cars, English gardens, Hindi prints. Endless inspiration.” - BESTY

3. Mini Charcuterie Plates for Lunch Prep

“At the beginning of the week I cut up various meat, fruit, cheese, and veggies and assemble mini charcuterie plates for lunch with a cooooold iced tea and a book.” - ELLE RITTER

Not every lunch meal prep plan has to be practical.

4. Grow Your Own Flowers for a Lux Bath

“I grow and dry peonies, roses, chamomile, rosemary, lemon balm, various herbs and add them to epsom salt for luxurious bath rituals.” - TPDOLL

I’m sorry, but what? This is legit an amazing idea.

Yes, you can totally just buy flowers and do this, but something about using your own blooms feels so next level.

5. Have (At Least) One Meal You make Special in the Week

“I do appetizers on Friday nights before dinner. something like tomatoes basil and cheese.” - GFATALE

I love the idea of having a meal in my week that I look forward to.

It could be on a Wednesday to make the middle of the week more special. Or it could be on a Friday evening to mark the start of the weekend. Up to you!

6. Create a “Today I Loved…” List

“Write a “Today I Loved…” List. Every evening, jot down one thing you loved that day. A bird you saw, a compliment you received, your iced coffee. Simple pleasures, noticed. 🥰” - GLADYS LESTON

There are so many little things that you and I probably overlook all the time. But this feels like such a quick + simple way to make sure you’re noticing all the beautiful things. ♥️

7. Stop Doing the Unnecessary & Start Adopting Things That Genuinely Make YOU Happy

“In the last 9 months I have let things go (including my sister who belittled me every chance she got) I started living for me and did almost every 1 of these things. I love it! Even bought expensive pajamas. From 50 yrs of getting up really early ( for no reason) decided to sleep past 10 AM . I am at peace and loving life.” - ARTSNTHEHOUSE

Please, look at the places were you’re trying to please people that will never be pleased, and let go of it all. You deserve a beautiful life too!

8. Go Full Main Character in Your Garden

“I put on my apron and grab a cute basket and pick fresh herbs and vegetables from my garden and greenhouse for my lunch salad or dinner veggies.” - BEAUTE NOIRE BOUTIQUE

Read this one to my husband and he was like, “What in the main character?” Agreed.

9. Take an “Everything Shower”

“Take slow purposeful ‘everything showers.’ Hair masks, body scrubs, shave, etc. With fav music and ambient lighting. And a robe is SO important! Also a heated blanket is a must have!” - LAKELYN & COVE

I need an everything shower right now. How have I not thought of this before?

10. Play Tourist in Your Own Town

“Be a tourist in your own town. Go to the cutest boutiques, local book shop, tea shop, and get at least one special thing even if it’s just a tea. Also get stickers or any freebie with the stores name and put them in your travel journey to reflect on your days later.” - BOUGIEGIRLERICA

It’s such a simple way to enjoy your day off and make good memories. And the best part is that you can do this as often as you want; no need to book tickets to a different country.

11. Flowers Are Not Overrated

“Fresh flowers next to my bed and my bathroom sink, evening cocktails in “fancy” glasses, stop everything to enjoy the sunset, music while I cook, silk pillowcase for my hair/skin health” - RHONDA35

“Buy flowers for yourself every week when you buy groceries. Put them in a nice vase in a visible place. Fresh flowers, even if they come from the grocery store are still a bit of luxury.” - PHEMSOUL

“Buy fresh flowers for my kitchen. it romanticizes the way you will prepare your meals.” - THE HEALING CREATIX

“grow all types of flowers so you can cut small bouquets every week 💐” - FLOWERS

12. Taking a “You Drive”

“taking a drive in the countryside or scenic route with the windows down with music of choice…Sometimes a nice coffee or tea at hand.” - ARTIGANIC

Just getting “lost” and trying new roads + driving through unknown (to you) historic neighborhoods with a nice drink is a very nice way to spend a morning or afternoon.

13. Sorry, But You Are the Occassion

“This [the conversation on affordable luxuries] brings back memories of my childhood when my mom wore Estee Lauder’s Private Collection at home. Just because ❤️” - GINGER59

You really don’t need to wait to leave the home, or for a guest to come over. You can just wear that perfume or lipstick, put on a nice outfit, use a pretty plate for your meal, make a nice drink, and enjoy your own presence.

14. Diffusing Oils from Your Favorite Locations

“I diffuse oils that smell like my favorite resorts (Coronado Springs at the moment).” - SARA PISCANI

Never thought to do this, but now I really wanna try it.

15. Create a Space Where You Can Be the Main Character

“I set a side one day a week and go into my "untouchable" living room. I make a tea pot for one, turn the lights off and light all my candles. I read poetry or listen to music. Burn incense and just enjoy being surrounded by all of my fav things. Also a ritual bath. Candles, flowers, bath oils a drink and music. I am the main character in my life.” - MOON MEDICINE

I think just setting aside a space and time for yourself to relax + do the things you really want to do is such a nice luxury.

Buy me a coffee to support my work. ☺️

DISCLAIMER: No AI was used in the writing of this article. Why would I waste your time if I didn’t spend any of my own writing this article?

I decided that this summer was the summer to level up my seafood cooking skills.

I didn’t just want pan-fry tilapia for the rest of my life.

I wanted to learn how to properly prep octopus and squid and learn more about the different types of fish + how to serve them raw (without giving my husband food poisoning).

And thankfully, I’m living in Panama City which has a very large fish market called Mercado De Mariscos.

It’s a bustling space filled with fishermen hauling in large crates of freshly caught lobster, langostinos, octopus, and snapper. I’ve been three different times in the last month and I absolutely love it.

There are sellers trying to get your attention, so much amazing seafood, and you keep wondering what local recipes you could try with the freshly caught fish and shrimp.

Side Note: If you ever do go to Mercado De Mariscos, just know that you can buy seafood from the market and then go to one of the attached restaurants and ask them to prepare it for you. It’s pretty cool!

But before I even went to the market, my husband and I did a bit of research on what we wanted to make. Here’s what we decided on:

• Ojingeo Bokkeum: A spicy Korean squid dish. 🇰🇷

• Pulpo a la Gallega: A simple but delicious Spanish octopus recipe. 🇪🇸

• Thai Yellow Curry w/ Squid: A super savory and creamy seafood dish. 🇹🇭

Something about taking the time to find the proper ingredients for each of these unfamiliar recipes, trying new techniques, and enjoying fresh flavors really made me feel like I was leveling up as a cook.

I love realizing that I can just grasp at the unknown and expand my own world.

Did I know how to properly cook octopus so it that it had the perfect texture, or that paprika + good olive oil drizzled on top of octopus & potatoes was an incredible combination? No, but now I will never forget these small details, and I can pull them out for dinner parties or quiet summer evenings with my husband or a friend.

Also, it was almost like I was having my own private cooking class without having to travel to Barcelona or Seoul.

Quick Cooking Tips for the Recipes Below:

• Read a chef say, "you cook squid for either 1 minute or 1 hour, nothing in between.” And it really is true; cook it for even 5 minutes on high heat and it’s rubbery. So the best rule of thumb is 1-2 minutes which means throwing it in at the very end.

• The best way to tenderize an octopus is to freeze it. The formation of ice crystals helps to burst the cell walls. Just defrost for a few hours and it’ll be ready to throw in the pot of boiling water.

• I went to a market to get fresh seafood but there is nothing wrong with going to a local store that sells it frozen.

• Don’t be afraid to add small additions to these dishes and have fun with it. I added an egg yolk + halloumi to the ojingeo bokkeum and it was 👌.

3 Seafood Dishes from 3 Countries Ranked

#1. Pulpo a la Gallega 🇪🇸

Unexpected.

Legit, I was thinking the Korean squid dish was going to come out on top (been loving Korean food since I think 2012).

It was almost a little too simple to make (no really), but the incredible flavor combinations got me.

The octopus was super tender and delicious, but also drizzling some nice olive oil & sprinkling sweet + spicy paprika and salt on top made it ridiculously good.

Also, just look at it.

How do you not serve this to friends on a warm summer evening with crisp drinks and very crispy, tangy salads on the back porch?

(+ maybe some Iberian cheese and jamón… just a thought)

Here’s the recipe if you want to try it from home; I couldn’t recommend it enough!

Quick Note: I made sure that each of the dishes in this article were done by people from those countries. I didn’t need some random woman from Miami telling you and me how to make a dish from a country she’s never visited.

#2. Ojingeo Bokkeum 🇰🇷

The spicy, deep, savory flavors of the gochujang and gochugaru + the fresh veggies, squid, and garlickly goodness made this an incredible dinner.

It felt like I was eating at a really good Korean restaurant except I still had the ingredients to repeat and enjoy the recipe again, or just use in a completely different dish.

Also, I randomly decided to top it with an egg yolk + halloumi. The cheese was pretty left field, but something about it made me think it’d turn out just fine. And I was right; my husband and I both gave it a thumbs up.

The traditional recipe was written by Hyosun, and if you want to try an authentic Korean recipe at home without spending $16.75 at a restaurant, then you can check it out here.

Side Note: I wonder if this would be good with udon noodles.

#3. Thai Yellow Curry With Squid

Ok, I do want to be open about this one.

I couldn’t find any Thai curry squid recipes that didn’t have ingredients I couldn’t find in my location, so I had to adapt a different recipe.

I had to take this authentic Thai yellow curry chicken + potatoes recipe made by Pai and substitute out the main protein for squid.

And if you’re fine with that, then I highly recommend trying it. The combination of the creamy coconut milk, savory yellow curry, hearty potatoes, flavorful, tangy tomatoes, and tender squid is legit so good on a random weeknight.

Changes Made: Besides the change from chicken to squid, I also added gochugaru (Korean chili flakes) + oi-muchim (spicy Korean cucumber salad) as a garnish. I love adding extra colors + flavors and it was a nice way to make use of the ingredients I had bought for the ojingeo bokkeum.

BONUS - Qīng Zhēng Yú

I really liked this Chinese steamed fish w/ ginger + shallot sauce for three reasons:

1. Super simple & if you don’t have a steamer, the food writer, Nagi (from RecipeTin Eats), suggests baking the fish in foil. It works. 👌

2. Although the combination of ingredients is simple, the flavors of the ginger and onion cooked in bubbling hot oil (poured over top the fish) didn’t have a right to be that good.

3. It’s an excuse to enjoy really nice, fresh seafood.

I again used gochugaru as a colorful garnish, and the recipe called for red chillies julienned, so I used a local chili called ají chombo.

Serve with some steamed rice and enjoy on a nice Saturday evening with maybe some iced jasmine tea. ♥️

Side Note: I know that Nagi was born in Japan, but I trust her recipes and wanted to give it a try. You can check it out here. :)

PS - What recipes have you been making lately? I’m collecting ideas!

buy me a coffee & support my work ☺️

DISCLAIMER: No AI was used in the writing of this article.

Adult life is too difficult and too anonymous that it feels as though it’s something to numb and avoid. But it is in that difficulty and anonymity that you have the opportunity to form a life that isn’t built on coping mechanisms and fear.

Last week, I read this quote that said, “Do it for the 80 year old you that is sitting there thinking ‘I’m so glad I did that.’”

And I really do believe that you deserve to live a life where both your 80 year old self and your 12 year old self, who dreamt of pretty things and incredible pursuits, are both proud of you.

Also, I wanted to admit something: I’m not yet there either. I am in the building phase, so just know that you’re not alone!

And with these thoughts laid out, I’d like to move into what mindsets + actions have helped me out on this journey of moving beyond the incomplete draft version of my life.

Throwing Away the Unimportant

To move onto writing and living out the final draft of your own life, there are a few things that need to be addressed (and then tossed).

I had this conversation with a good friend the other week about something that had been on my mind on and off for years.

It was about how people put their identity into things others wouldn’t even remember (or care about) once they were gone.

I remember thinking I was so cool as a teenager for being a tea drinker (and not liking coffee) + not being “like other girls” because I didn’t have a purse (I know, I don’t get it either).

But in the end, why would these things even matter?

Am I going to write this on my epitaph? “Here lies Grace. She was cool for liking tea (not coffee), and being ‘different’ because she didn’t own a purse.”

With that said, the first step is to strip away the things you put identity into that are just noise.

What doesn’t really matter? What do you put too much importance into that would be thrown into an abyss of forgotten details once you were gone?

I am not saying that everything that is important to you has to be memorable. But if they are distractions, things that keep you from moving and growing and becoming a kinder + more thoughtful version of yourself, then it’s best discarded.

They are a kind of drug that makes you feel good about yourself (superior at times) without you having to heal and change and grow or produce real results. There is no substance to them; they are purely distractions.

Side Note: Purses are so useful, what did I have against them anyway?

Don’t Claim Identities That Aren’t Yours Yet

The next step is to claim the identity you have now, allow it to humble you, and allow it to push you into something you legit want.

Here’s what I mean: Being real with yourself about the current you keeps you from living in a place of denial and fantasy.

It’s easy to claim an identity you haven’t earned yet.

I used to do it for years. It wasn’t always something I shared with others, but in my head, I was this person who had it all together because I was eventually going to get around to it.

But doing this just stunted growth.

It kept me from taking responsibility for who I currently was and allowed me to live in the “someday” space of my mind. But someday never comes.

Also, I realized that when I did this, I didn’t really like who I was. There were flaws I hadn’t wanted to look at or change and it was kind of embarrassing.

Now I’m not promoting self-hate as a way to change, but I am saying that you should love yourself enough to see who you are in this moment, see who you want to be, and allow that to drive you toward change.

Don’t Base Your Identity Around Past Moments of Excellence

You’ve done incredibly cool and incredibly beautiful things, but they shouldn’t be places where you hang your hat.

I think it’s great to look back at certain accomplishments and be proud, but if you’re constantly looking back to moments of greatness and almost never looking forward at your even greater future, then I believe this is a very dangerous place to be.

You are in danger of a monotonous, undefined life that is beneath you.

You are in danger of becoming someone who repeats stories in your head and to others, and never creating a whole life that turns into a beautiful story.

So allow those moments where you shone in the past to be the guiding light that shows you what you are truly capable of.

Make your past self (who had those amazing achievements) proud that you didn’t just stop there, but you took them into the life they thought they were going to enter into.

buy me a coffee & support my work ☺️

Getting Uncomfortable With the Comfortable

A few years ago, my husband and I were stupid broke.

He had a toxic corporate job, we were very young newlyweds, and we kept having things go wrong financially. I kid you not, I started crying one day because we were driving out of the car repair lot (after having a repair done that we already couldn’t afford) and our front tire hit a big nail. We hadn’t even left the place where we got our car fixed and we heard and felt our tire hit something sharp.

Things just kept going wrong and we were so over it, but I am now beyond grateful for those moments. Because if they hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t have pushed ourselves to find a way to make money online and travel.

We started a lifestyle blog that’s been our main source of income all these years, and I am so glad for that discomfort.

Because of the discomfort, I’ve gotten to live in some incredible countries and have beautiful experiences my comfortable self would never have had.

And right now, I’m pushing myself to yet again become uncomfortable.

I know I was meant for more than just writing lifestyle content and trying to get people to my site via Pinterest + other traffic sources.

I want to inspire people like you to live a more lovely, elegant life that you like existing in.

One last note: Live for that younger self and the future vision they had. I remember my 9-year-old self being in some pretty shopping district in San Francisco and hearing Take Five by Dave Brubeck playing in the background. Everything around me felt cool and I knew in that moment that I wanted to live a fun, creative life in some very chic city. So I’m going to take care of that younger me and do it. I guess all this to say, don’t fall for that disgusting kind of comfort that keeps you stuck.

Create Your Own Constellation

My husband and I refer to finding those who are already where you want to be in life as your constellation.

They are the guiding lights that show you how they’ve done it and how you can too. They’ve taken the right actions and adopted the right mindsets that have gotten them to where they are now.

They are the ones you want to follow.

Also, let’s look at it this way. Let’s say (as an example) that you wanted to get your finances under control, get out of debt, and eventually have a savings of $10k in the bank.

Would you ask your friends who are also deeply in debt (and who also think it’s normal to be in debt) about how to do it, or even tell them about your plans? Probably not. Also, if they think it’s normal, they’d probably criticize you + think you were weird.

So find the people who are already where you want to be; there’s no sense in reinventing the wheel when others have already created the path.

Side Note: These can be people who are in your life, complete strangers online, alive, or gone. There are no parameters to your constellation except what you deem workable.

There is Dignity in Doing the Embarrassing & Unsexy

My husband wanted to take control of his life and one of the ways he started was to lose weight. He succeeded. He’s now around 183 pounds (his starting point was 290), and he’s going to lose a few more pounds before he cuts it off.

But he related something to me that didn’t just help him with his weight loss, but with his language learning + other self-development pursuits as well.

It’s not fun being the fat guy at the gym.

It’s embarrassing, it’s awkward, and you really don’t want to be there. It’s easy to feel like you don’t belong or are being judged.

But then he asked me this question. Which was more dignified?

1. Going to the gym, staying consistent each week, and seeing progress.

2. Staying home, watching short form content on the couch, and keeping the same eating patterns around.

All this to say, there is dignity in being the fat guy at the gym (his words, not mine).

Here’s another example. When my husband and I were trying to create an online income, it was embarrassing. We weren’t good at it yet + we didn’t tell family about it. And because we didn’t tell them about it, and they knew we were struggling financially, they’d ask why I hadn’t gotten a job yet. For reference, I would work the blog when Silas was at his job, and then he’d come home and help me work it in the evenings. We felt it would get off the ground faster if we did it this way (and we were right).

That was legitimately humiliating, but because we did the humiliating, my husband was able to leave his toxic corporate job and we were able to travel.

What I’m trying to say is this: It’s ok for things to feel cringe when you’re trying.

It just means you’re not going to be 80 years old + full of regrets.

Get Comfortable With Not Having it All Figured Out

There’s a certain amount of discomfort that comes with not having how you’re going to get to where you want to be all figured out.

For me, that uncertainty has led to me wanting to zone out and hide from the process.

But I suppose you could say that the uncertainty is the way.

It’s how so many incredible things were created and accomplished in our world, and when you choose to continue forward, you are becoming apart of that amazing group of people who went beyond their comfort zone.

You become your own hero.

As I’ve heard it said so many times before, no one is coming to save you…. except yourself. And I think there’s beauty in that.

So what is the life you want to write out? What have you always put in the “someday” category that you can now pull out and get uncomfortable with?

buy me a coffee & support my work ☺️

DISCLAIMER: No AI was used in the writing of this article (I’ve just liked using semicolons since high school).

Lately, I’ve been getting a bit tired of hearing other American women talking about what women from different European countries are doing (or not doing).

It makes me realize how many people are on a content treadmill + need something to put out there. But I don’t want to read that something; I want legitimate facts.

I want to know what the French women are actually doing for their skin care (you can read my findings here) and I want to know what the Italian women are practicing fashion-wise. I don’t want to hear about it from a random American women living in Manhattan Beach, California.

And because I didn’t want questionable, secondhand knowledge, I decided to do the work myself and ask 90 women were actually Italian.

And when I started working on this project, I did three things:

1. I reached out to an Italian fashion writer who has worked with NET-A-PORTER and MR PORTER for years.

2. I asked a fashion consultant based in Rome & Naples.

3. And I asked the incredible Italian women on Reddit.

These very kind women all gave me some very insightful and helpful answers, while also giving me a bit of a new perspective on fashion in general.

And if you’re also very curious about their fashion advice, then I’ve gathered their tips and advice (and my personal notes) down below. I hope you enjoy this read.

Who you’ll be hearing from in this article:

• Giulia C. from The Inside Pocket

• Gabriela R. Proietti from Local Style

• The women of r/italy, r/askitaly, & r/xxitaly

What I’ll Be Covering:

• Their overall approach to style

• Outfit context

• Quality & workmanship

• Their footwear

• Their specific pieces

One important note before you start reading: These are generalized rules and observations. Not all Italian women adhere to these standards as some of them let me know.

On Italian Style as a Whole

As one woman put it about the Italian approach to fashion, “l’eleganza non è farsi notare ma farsi ricordare.”

Translation: Elegance isn’t about getting noticed, but leaving an impression.

And after reading the responses below, I feel that I can finally understand what she meant.

Giulia, a fashion writer for NET-A-PORTER and MR PORTER, gave me this thoughtful response when asked what Italian women were generally wearing on the street:

“I lived in Milan for many years, but I’m originally from Sardinia. One thing people often misunderstand is that there isn’t one single “Italian style”. It varies enormously depending on the city, much like comparing New York to Los Angeles. Milan dresses very differently from Rome, Naples or Palermo.

“That said, there are a few things many Italian women have in common. One overall rule is to choose your fabrics depending on the season: lighter, breathable materials like linen and cotton in warmer months, and richer, heavier fabrics when it gets colder. Relaxed tailoring is everywhere. More than following trends, there’s an emphasis on looking put together. Running to the supermarket in your pajamas isn’t really part of our culture. Italy can be quite a judgmental place, but I also think there’s something ingrained in us: we simply enjoy making an effort, even for everyday moments.

“Jewelery also plays an important role and is often treated as a personal expression of style. It can be something seasonal, like coral in the summer, but it often becomes the centrepiece of the look.

“One stereotype I’d happily dispel is that Italian women dress like they’re in a Dolce & Gabbana campaign every day. We don’t spend our summers in figure-hugging floral dresses and sky-high heels. If anything, summer style is usually much more understated: crisp shirts, linen trousers, simple sandals, effortless separates and clothes that feel elegant without looking overdone.

“The secret is to look classy without showing to the world that you were trying so hard.”

I also really appreciated the response that Proietti, a Rome and Naples based fashion consultant, gave me for the same question.

“What most people get wrong about Italian style is that they overcomplicate it. They think it’s about brand recognition or wearing the top five trending “cool” brands and pieces that so many Americans are chasing after. In reality, it’s much more intuitive and simple like choosing *actual* pieces centered around craftsmanship and quality.

“Since we’re in the thick of summer, I’ve seen a lot of women wearing linen or cotton trousers, mostly in creams and whites, paired with a nearly matching cotton tank or button-down and leather sandals. Every-day sunglasses are a given, along with a no-name leather bucket bag from a local shop.

“For an easy transition into fall, swap the sandals for velvet flats called friulane and the linen trousers for a pair of high-quality denim jeans.

“Italian women really aren’t investing their time, money, and energy into the constant cycle of trends from season to season. That’s what makes the way they dress so admirable. You can’t immediately tell who they’re wearing.”

On Wearing Outfits In & Out of Context

I found that when I lived in European cities, like Nice or Porto, there was something nice about getting a bit more dressed up before heading out. So for instance, I might put on a well-fitted button-up, dress pants, and ballet flats to go to the supermarket or boulangerie.

Here’s what I realized when I did that: Dressing up smart casual for an outing made the ordinary feel a bit more lovely. Something that should have felt common place felt a little more special. Also, I felt a lot more confidence and self-respect just by choosing an outfit that was thoughtfully put together (but still comfortable). I highly recommend it.

Now onto what the Italian women had to say about contextual dressing.

“To me, it’s not so much a question of ‘what’ you wear, but ‘when.’ I’ve noticed that Italians (and I imagine the French, too) generally have a more nuanced understanding of context and appropriate attire compared to Americans. For instance, most Italians make an effort to look presentable, even just to go to the market. You rarely see people out and about in the kind of oversized sweats or loungewear we usually reserve for the house. Personally, I’m not particularly fashion-conscious and prefer dressing for comfort; yet, earlier today, I was at home in an old tank top and some rather shabby shorts, I had to make a quick grocery run, and I still made sure to change at least the tank top, putting on a T-shirt that was decent, if not exactly fancy. Naturally, if the setting is even slightly more formal, people dress up accordingly; the level of care increases as the occasion demands, to the point where many people dress quite thoughtfully for an evening out, an outfit that might strike an outsider as “elegant,” but which in Italy is generally considered the bare minimum for going out to dinner.” - Few-Cheetah8476

“There are different styles in Italy too, but in my opinion the main difference is that activewear is generally only worn when doing sports (jogging or trekking), not for free time, for example in the city.” - SuperLanna

“SHOES MUST MATCH. If you’re wearing a romantic outfit, you can’t wear sneakers. If you’re wearing a sporty outfit, don’t wear flip-flops. Always ask yourself, “What context was this item of clothing invented for?” and use it accordingly. Flip-flops are for the pool; you’ll look ridiculous anywhere else.” - Debris

“Class and elegance, especially at the office or while out and about. Let’s just say you’ll never see an Italian woman walking around in Havaianas flip-flops, unless she’s heading to the beach.” - Elemis89

On Garment Quality & Workmanship

I loved the bit of advice one Italian women gave, “-refining style involves education. Italians have a trained eye thanks to being around natural and man-made beauty daily. Many don’t have the cultural background and historical perspective of native Italians, but museums and glancing through art books can teach many things. In a fashion sense, such observation acquaints your eye with the classic and classiest color harmonies, proportions, even fashions throughout history, to help you look your chicest right now.”

She suggests going to museums to train your eye, as well as paying attention to the small clothing details like seams, stitching, fit, fabric choice, and buttons. And lastly, she linked to this very helpful guide on how to assess the quality of garments.

And here is what the other incredible Italian women on Reddit had to say:

Peachypeach13610 began by saying, “My Italian mother has drilled in me 3 main things that have completely shaped the way I relate to clothing.” And after reading over the three points, I really wanted to highlight the last one, “Quality over quantity, and well.. quality over anything else (within your budget). Fast fashion is not something I ever saw in good light for many reasons and I want to wear natural fabrics as much as possible.”

Debris also had this to say, “-play with colors: multicolored T-shirt and bottoms that recall one of those colors, solid color, coordinated, ... Or play with volumes: crop top and palazzo pants, monk’s robe, blouse and shorts… It is not recommended to play with both if you do not have a great eye. For it to work, however, the fabric must be decent. Linen, cotton, or silk in the summer, wool, suede, or velvet in the winter. No polyester or junk.”

“-there’s the matter of materials: most Italian adults pay attention to fabric quality, so their clothes, whether casual or dressy, don’t have that cheap, plastic-doll look.” - Few-Cheetah8476

“while polyester is popular here too, we Italian women often wear natural fabrics like cotton and denim.” - Maleficent-Waltz-135

“I place great importance on materials: no synthetics, only cotton, silk, linen, wool, and cashmere. To afford this, I don’t have a huge wardrobe, and I buy secondhand. Another thing to consider is getting the right size so that every garment drapes well.” - Any_Syrup3773

Side Note: You might also like my article where I asked 127 French women about their skin care and learned what they were (legit) doing.

On Footwear

One Reddit user with the username, Zecira, said this about shoes, “I’m coming off a year of fully remote work, so I’m living in sweatpants, but this post reminded me of when I was an intern at a place full of Americans a few years ago, every morning on my way to the office I’d take the elevator. And when someone I didn’t know walked in, I’d always look at their shoes. Based on that, I could immediately tell whether I should say ‘Buon giorno’ or ‘Good morning.’”

Ellie_Minato responded with a question, “What differentiated the ‘Buon giorno’ shoes from the ‘Good Morning’ shoes?” She answered with, “It’s a very distinctive American style of footwear. Certain types of sandals, certain types of sneakers paired with rather expensive clothing, the occasional flip-flop... I don’t really know how to define it, but as a Roman, I think it’s really easy to identify Americans by their shoes, even when walking around the city when there are tons of foreign tourists.”

I had personally asked Zecira what kind of shoes Italian women wear, but it was 2020Stop who responded with, “Shoes with a bit of style, we often don’t think about it, but we grow up in a country where beauty and quality manufacturing (alas, now maybe just design) are widespread. So for an Italian, in my opinion, it’s quite normal to have a sort of natural good taste. I remember the first time I saw, several years ago, shoe windows in downtown stores in large German cities, and I thought, “Who the h— buys these horrible shoes?” In our country, you go to the market and the most inconspicuous women’s shoe is still ten times more beautiful.”

Quick tip on where to find good quality Italian footwear:

If you want some effortlessly stylish footwear, then a great place to start is Italian Ebay shops. One Italian woman recommended the Ebay shop, L’Artigiano Delle Scarpe. He has some incredible finds, plus will do custom orders for shoes and boots.

On Specific Pieces

And if you’re curious about the specific outfits they wear, then a few women shared their basic uniforms.

GlitteringPhase6062 shared her personal go-to outfits: “Personally, in the summer I wear full skirts with cute tops or blouses and pointed-toe ballet flats (especially for the office), while in winter I wear tailored trousers with a fine-knit cashmere or pure wool sweater. For winter footwear, I wear leather sneakers (real or faux, just not canvas) or black boots. I live in the UK and always get compliments.

"When going out, I mostly wear midi dresses with heels; if it’s cold, I pair them with a blazer, or else I opt for a midi-length knit dress.

"As for accessories, I have a couple of 2000s-era Prada bags that go with everything. If I don’t feel like carrying an expensive bag, I use other neutral-colored ones that match everything. Or I use a tote bag, or the Uniqlo bag, if I need to go grocery shopping.

"I never wear slides or gym clothes (partly because I don’t own any, lol). If I’m really not in the mood to dress up and just need to pop out for a moment, I wear cotton leggings and an oversized sweatshirt.”

And Any_Syrup3773 had this to say about her style, “It depends on the situation, as with everything. For work in the summer, my go-to choice is long, loose-fitting dresses paired with ballet flats. In winter, I wear well-cut trousers, often with shirts or lightweight sweaters.”

PS - If you’d like me to ask these incredibly helpful women any more questions, then please let me know!

DISCLAIMER: No AI was used in the writing of this article. If I use a semicolon, it’s because I’ve liked using it since high school.

Ok, so you might be thinking, “Wait, you’re not Peruvian, how can you even call this authentic?”

Well her are my “credentials”: I set up a private cooking class with a Peruvian chef while living in Lima, Peru. He gave me permission to share the recipe, so now you can enjoy a perfectly legitimate ceviche recipe straight from South America.

Its incredible for those extra hot days when you don’t feel like heating up your kitchen + you want something fresh, tangy, and savory.

But First, a Cat Park in Lima, Peru

No, not a cat cafe, but a park full of cats.

I wanted to share this bit of information because I like not gatekeeping cool travel finds.

During my six month stint of living in Lima, I stayed in an Airbnb that was right next to Parque 7 de Junio & Parque John F. Kennedy. Both were incredibly beautiful parks filled with cats that loved to be pet and take naps on your lap.

It was so nice to head out early in the morning, maybe grab a coffee, sit on one of the park benches (or church steps) as the sun shone through the trees, and have a cat chill with me.

All these cats are taken care of by the city; they’re given food + little homes to stay in. It was a really nice surprise when I arrived in Peru. ♥️ And if you ever head to Lima, then I would definitely suggest staying in a place near these parks. (Also, the neighborhood I stayed in was called Miraflores. I highly recommend it; it’s a ridiculously beautiful area.)

Back to the Ceviche

I really liked learning from a Peruvian chef because there was no wondering if the random food blogger I found online was giving me a legit recipe (or just making things up).

Also, here are some interesting bits of information Chef David shared with me:

• While ceviche had been around for awhile in Peru, it was the Japanese immigrants who shared with them the cutting techniques when it came to slicing the fresh fish.

• It most likely originated in Peru (sorry Mexico and Chile, but based on the history, I’m siding with them on this one).

• It’s best enjoyed with leche de tigre which is a spicy, tangy sauce that really brightens the dish (will share the recipe for that below as well).

The Best Ways to Enjoy This Ceviche

• On a really hot summer evening w/ some jazz playing (+ something cold to drink).

• With friends on a random Saturday afternoon (while dining on your porch obviously).

• After heading back from the fish market (and maybe a stop at the farmer’s market too… and the coffee shop).

Side Note: Here are all the crazy good dishes I enjoyed in Peru + restaurant recommendations.

The Simple Steps for Making Peruvian Ceviche

Ingredients

Peruvian Ceviche

• 1/2 Ibs. (or 225 g) of white fish (not fatty fish like salmon). Recommendations: croaker, sole, or any other type of white fish is best.

• 4 limes

• 1/2 tbs. (about 2–3 g) fresh and finely cut cilantro (can also be changed to parsley)

• 1 large onion cut into fine strips

• 1/4 aji limo pepper (or habanero)

• 1 ground rocoto pepper or hot sauce of your choice

• 1/8 tsp. salt (about 0.75 g)

Leche de Tigre Sauce

• 1/3 c (50 g) of the same fish

• 2 tbs. (15 g) red Onion

• 2 tbs. (10 g) fresh ginger

• 4 Sprigs of cilantro

• ¼ cup chopped celery (30 g) Celery

• 2 tbs. chopped hot chili (15 g) hot chili (aji limo or habanero)

• 1 clove garlic

• The juice of 6 limes

• 1 tsp. salt

To Serve (Optional)

• Lettuce

• Kernels of 1 small corn (boiled)

• Canchita serrana peper (or other small red chili of choice)

• Bananas chips (chifles)

• Cilantro

• 1 small sweet potato, sliced

Method

Ceviche Preparation

• Cut the fish into cubes, put them in a medium bowl, and mix in the salt. Then, place in the freezer for 15 minutes. Make sure it’s very cold, but not frozen.

• While the fish is chilling, start prepping your veggies. Thinly cut up the onion and pepper, and finely chop your cilantro (or parsley).

• Once the 15 minutes is up, take the fish out of the freezer, add one more pinch of salt, and then mix with fresh lime juice (about 3 tbs. or 46 g).

• Stir for 30 seconds and then add hot sauce and pepper and mix until combined.

• Add the onion, cilantro, and the leche de tigre and mix.

• Serve the dish with the ceviche in the center, then lettuce, sweet potato, corn, canchita, chifle (fried plantain), and top with some cilantro and a small slice of pepper.

Leche de Tigre Preparation:

• Put all of the cut up ingredients into a bowl and marinate for 25 minutes.

• Once it’s finished marinating, blend, strain, and put in the freezer until the ceviche is finished. Make sure it’s very cold but not frozen.

PS - What are your favorite “it’s too hot to cook” recipes? I’d love more ideas!

Your life should actually feel good.

It should be filled with long Saturday morning conversations over breakfast + really good jazz playing in the background.

Your daily life should have easy recipe upgrades, main character outings that don’t cost a fortune $$$, and warm afternoons in historic buildings enjoying a really good cup of coffee.

So I’m going to get you there.

I’ll be sharing things I’ve personally done that have helped me stop the brainrot and doomscrolling. And hopefully by the end of this, you’ll have a list of things you’ll want to do this week that don’t include your phone.

So with that said, here are 10 things I legit think you’ll like.

Click here for Part 1 of Chic Things to Do This Week Instead of Doomscrolling.

1. Do a Non-Wine Tasting

I’m not saying you can’t do a wine tasting, but there are so many other kinds of tastings you can enjoy solo or as an outing.

Here are a few examples I’ve personally done:

• Coffee tasting: While in Brazil, my husband and I asked a 3rd wave coffee house if they could do a coffee tasting (it was for his birthday), and while this was new for them, they said yes. They shared some incredible coffees, we learned a lot that day, and we had so much fun talking to the baristas for a couple of hours.

• Chocolate tasting: This is one you can either do at home or at a chocolate shop. I’ve messaged a speciality chocolate shop on Whatsapp before and asked them if they could do this. They were actually very happy to and we got to try some amazing chocolates and took some home. (I’ve also done this at home & just bought some really cool chocolates)

• Cheese tasting: I’ve only ever done this one at home, but I love going to a nice store and picking up a few random cheeses that sound and look good, going home, plating them, and then seeing which ones I like best. Easy and tasty.

Quick Recommendation I: If you ever have plans to travel to Brazil, then look up Typica in Florianopolis. It’s where I had my coffee tasting & the coffee + people are amazing.

Quick Recommendation II: If you do a chocolate tasting at home, then I highly recommend Peruvian chocolate. It’s amazing.

2. Head to a Historic and/or High-End Hotel for Dessert + Coffee

This really is one of my favorite things to do, and you can make it a friend or solo date.

Find a historic and/or high-end hotel and enjoy a really nice dessert (+ maybe an appetizer) and coffee. Then sit, enjoy the music and atmosphere, and have some great conversations.

It makes you feel like you’ve stepped into another world without the big price tag of booking a room.

3. Experiment With Soaking/Marinating Random Things

Case and point: the espresso soaked dates above.

Legit was one of the tastiest experiments I’ve done this year. You just soak them overnight and put them on top of a yogurt bowl, or something else that feel desserty.

Also, the espresso they soak in becomes this incredibly delicious syrup you can put in coffees.

4. Look for Local Markets of Any Kind

Whether it’s where you live or a nearby town or city, look for markets you can explore.

I’m living in Bolivia at the moment and I’ve been able to find markets where they sell cheese, fruit, and flowers. It’s been one of the most relaxed and nice things to do in my week.

5. Symphony, Opera, or Jazz Concert (Hear Me Out on This One)

Three reasons why you should consider these outings:

1. In a lot of locations, it’s not actually that expensive (at all). The movies make it out that you have to be rich, but that’s a lie.

2. You get to feel like you stepped into a different era in time and the atmosphere is incredible.

3. Experiencing it in person is COMPLETELY different than hearing recordings. I used to be a bit ambivalent toward the symphony or opera, but that all changed when I went. And while I already liked jazz (a lot), it was so much better in person. The atmosphere was incredible and it was so much fun to watch the performers really get into it. ♥️

Important Note: If you decide to go to the opera, I’d suggest reading up on the plot beforehand. They have supertitles (a screen above the stage with translation), but it makes understanding what’s going on so much easier and the experience a lot more enjoyable.

Quick Recommendation: Above is a jazz concert my husband found that was just $8 per person. It was held in a 120+ year old building, the music was incredible, & it didn’t feel like we spent $16. Look for events like this.

6. Try Stovetop Granola

It’s a breakfast game changer + it’s stupid quick and easy.

There’s no waiting for the oven to heat up, and for the granola to finish baking. It takes just a few minutes to make.

I don’t have an exact recipe, but I put maybe around a cup of oats in the pan and then added butter, honey, and cinnamon according to feeling (feelings are a form of measurement right?). Basically, if it looks + sounds good, listen to your heart, taste as you go along, and enjoy once it tastes right to you.

Quick Recommendation: Above is a Greek yogurt bowl that I topped with said stovetop granola, caramelized banana, 80% chopped dark chocolate, toasted walnuts, honey, & cinnamon. Definitely recommend this breakfast if you wanna romanticize your mornings. 👌

7. Enjoy Coffee (and Maybe Work) in a Historic Building

Going to the coffee shop is great, but it’s even better when you can enjoy your favorite drink in a historic building.

The interior is incredible and the outing feels a lot more special. I guess you can say it feels more like an occasion, but it’s still casual.

Quick Recommendation: Historic cafes are great, but I also recommend historic shops turned cafe. Above is my photo of an old pharmacy in Montevideo that got turned into a coffee shop, and I loved it. ♥️

8. Try Random Recipes from Different Countries

I love finding random recipes from a cuisine I’ve never tried before.

A good example is the Kenyan version of chapati in the photo above.

I heard about it in a video, saw that it looked simple enough, and decided to try it. It really made my day and tasted incredible. 👌

Here’s the Kenyan chapati recipe I used if you want to try it as well!

9. Throw a Seasonal Soireé

A soireé is basically the French version of an evening party, and you can make it as simple or as extravagant as you want.

Just gather some dish and drink recipes that use seasonal ingredients, maybe choose a theme, create a really good playlist, invite a few people over, and enjoy an incredible night.

Also, if you want a more thorough guide, then here’s how to host a seasonal soireé.

buy me a coffee to support my work ☺️

10. Go to a Pretty Park in the Morning w/ Coffee + Pastry and Just Let Your Mind Breath

It’s so easy to pick up the phone first thing in the morning to check notifications and scroll.

But you know what’s even better?

Finding a pretty park near where you live, heading to your favorite cafe (or trying a new one), grabbing a good coffee and pastry, sitting down at a bench, and enjoying the morning air and sounds.

It lets your mind breath, you can just relax without anyone bothering you, and you get the added enjoyment of a not so healthy breakfast. 🥐 ☕️

Quick Recommendation: Above is a dulce de leche stuffed croissant; if you can find a place that makes this, then I highly recommend getting it.

PS - What chic things do you like to do instead of doomscrolling?

DISCLAIMER: Nothing in this article was written with AI. If I use a semicolon, it’s because I’ve liked using them since high school.

I recently wrote an article on how to become a disgustingly good conversationalist, and received this comment:

It ended up receiving 200+ likes and I very quickly realized that I needed to write on this topic because I’ve been there + have legitimately found things that have helped me overcome this problem.

My ability to be outgoing and make good conversation was really hit or miss for years of my life.

One moment it felt like I could easily make friends and be comfortable in my own skin, and then the next I was pulling blanks on how to continue a conversation.

But two things have helped me change this over the years, and here’s what they are in the order they happened.

1. Picking a Persona

This was the first step in helping me to have more confidence, and it legit made things so much easier (even going to a party where I didn’t know that many people).

Back when Facebook was a lot more prevalent, I realized there was a difference between my real life self and my Facebook self.

My Facebook self was outgoing, witty, funny, and cool.

My real life self was… spotty.

So I started asking myself, “What would Facebook Grace do?” And suddenly, it just clicked.

Something about me making the mental switch to acting or speaking the way she would helped get me out of my head. But it did something more than just change the way I interacted with others.

I realized that even if I was at a party and there was a gap between talking to people, Facebook me wouldn’t even care. She’s be relaxed, enjoy some dessert, and be comfortable being by herself. So I did that.

And I think others could see that; they could tell that I was calm, I wasn’t hoping someone would spark a conversation with me, and I wasn’t desperate or standoffish. I really do believe that helped make it so that some people gravitated toward me, and it was a lot easier to start conversations and make friends.

Important Note: If this doesn’t come naturally at first, then just know that it’s ok if it’s a process. Change isn’t supposed to happen in one evening; you’re allowed to grow at a pace that’s comfortable to you.

I guess in the end you could say this is something like “fake it until you make it?” Maybe that’s what it is. Or maybe it’s more like choosing to step into the version of yourself that was always there behind the insecurities.

2. Make the Conscious Choice to Keep Putting the Focus on the Other Person

I know I spoke about this in my article on how to become a good conversationalist, but I wanted to highlight a story.

A few years ago, I attended an event where I met my now friend, Ana.

We had started up a good conversation and I remember asking her something like, “How are you so outgoing?” Or, “How are you so good at conversation?” I almost assumed it came naturally.

Nope.

She said that she used to be a very socially awkward person, but then she started putting the focus on the other person and it helped get her out of her head.

She wasn’t focused on the fear of messing up or having nothing to say, she was focused on making the other person feel comfortable.

And it really does come down to that: making another person (who might also be feeling self-conscious) feel comfortable in the conversation changes the dynamic completely. You suddenly stop making it about yourself and start focusing on learning more about this other person and wanting them to feel good in the interaction.

Again, this doesn’t have to be something you’re an expert at right away. Also just know this: if you’re not good at something right way, that doesn’t make you a failure, it just means you’re human.

So please have patience with yourself in this growth process; you’re only going to do this life once, so you might as well be kind to yourself.

Oh, and if you want more help in leveling up + living a more elevated lifestyle, then I’d love to have you join me on this journey (I’m learning too!).

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PS - If you also want to support my work, then you can buy me a coffee. It helps me to continue writing + help you out. :)

Over the last few years, I kept seeing articles and videos covering, “French women beauty tips,” but I really didn’t know what I was getting.

Was this author truly knowledgable on what real French women were doing, or were they on the content treadmill?

I didn’t know, I was just a woman from California who’d like to read interesting pieces on French skincare, but hadn’t been in France long enough to even take note.

So I decided to do the work myself and ask 127 women who were actually from France.

I didn’t want secondhand knowledge, and I most definitely didn’t want to give you false information. So I did two things:

1. I asked knowledgable French content creators.

2. I asked the incredible French women on Reddit.

And these kind women gave me a lot more information than I was expecting.

I was thinking that I’d just get answers on some skincare products and routines (which they did discussed), but they also gave me information on their diets, makeup, and even lifestyle.

So if you want a legit understanding of what French women are really doing for their beauty, then I’ve condensed the information (+ my personal notes) into one space. Please enjoy. :)

Who you’ll be hearing from in this article:

• EVB - The French Edit

• Auriane from the Fancy & Healthy avec Auriane

• Julia Comil from Mode RSVP

• The women of r/AskFrance & r/AskMeuf

What I’ll Be Covering:

• Their diet

• Their lifestyle

• Their routine

• Their makeup

• French pharmacy recommendations

• Other notable and try-worthy products + shop mentions

• Important info on French products themselves

On Food

This one surprised me the most, but it also made the most sense.

What you take in can really does affect your health and skin. In a 2024 review article covering the dietary influences on skin health, it was stated that, “-emphasizing overall eating habits over specific meals or nutrients appears beneficial for managing various skin conditions. Diets rich in whole foods, antioxidants, fiber, and phytonutrients [a plant-based substance that helps protect your body from diseases] show promise in promoting skin health and preventing related comorbidities [a medical condition that coexists alongside one’s main negative health condition].”

Here’s what Julia Comil from Mode RSVP says about it,“I think the food is fresher, so that definitely helps. People also tend to eat less processed food than in the United States. From my personal experience, the bread is easier to digest as well because the yeast is often naturally cultivated rather than heavily industrialized, which seems to be better for gut health and then the skin.”

Auriane from Fancy & Healthy avec Auriane also added, “Skincare comes from within so that means drinking lots of water, sleeping enough and eating ‘skin foods’ like oily fish, carrots and avocados.”

And from the French women on Reddit:

“Honestly make sure you have a good gut health, it is key for your skin! You can eat live yogurts, drink kombucha etc.. I lived in the US for a few months and you just won’t be able to find the same quality of food there, even if you spend a lot of money. If you can at least make sure you have the best gut health you can get by supplementing with probiotic foods, it’s a big help already” - Financial-Tear-7809

Side Note: If you live in the US, I think your best move is to do a bit of research on the best brands + stores that will provide you with high-quality (or even European) products and ingredients.

Consistent-Vast4973 said,“The answer about food is in fact really representative of the way of thinking beauty of a lot of women (and men) in France : we are taught diet and health and Beauty are intertwined.” And when I asked what kind of foods she currently ate to take care of her health + skin, she responded with,

“Mostly it’s all about enough hydration:

• enough water (but not too much)

• food that contains water

But also lots of vitamins. One way of checking if you eat a lot of vitamins is to “eat a rainbow” each day (at least one fresh produce of each color: one thing green, one yellow, one orange, one purple, one red).

And it is also centered around what NOT to eat: Fried and greasy to a minimum, no refined sugar.”

On Lifestyle

I’ve noticed that the worse my lifestyle is, the worse my skin looks.

If I’m drinking 5 cups of espresso in a day (please don’t judge), cooking easy (but not so healthy) meals, and not getting enough sleep, I see it.

Low-Owl3199 from r/AskFrance says, “You just need to believe in you and don’t over do it, embrace your features, workout lightly everyday by walking, eat three main dishes a day- No junk food, no snacks. No sugar and milk in coffee. Keep it simple.

Sit Around with friends and share a glass of wine if you like it.

Life is about balance and quality. Quality in friendship, mindset, clothings. Better to have less than more.”

Side Note: Another French women fought her a bit on the no sugar and milk in coffee.

Auriane from Fancy & Healthy avec Auriane also stated, “My personal approach to beauty is taking care of my overall health and well being as you cannot out do a bad lifestyle with just products ☺️.”

“They eat real food, aren’t sedentary, and are moving towards a more minimalist routine (at least from those I know).” - relapsin_time

Last thoughts on lifestyle: Don’t take this as your sign to change everything that’s wrong in your own life. Take it slow and just start cutting out a few bad habits at a time, and adopting good ones here and there. Example: This week you could start drinking a few extra cups of water a day, maybe go for a 10-20 minute walk, and cut out screen time after a certain point in the night.

read: how to get the french summer look

On The Skincare Routine Itself

When it came to skincare, there was a continuity in the answers I received.

Simple + minimal + intentional = the best approach.

Again, Auriane from Fancy & Healthy avec Auriane gave a great answer, “I would say when it comes to French beauty, less is more. I’m not a big fan of Korean skincare routines as they have way too many steps. Instead, I’d much rather have a simple regimen: double cleanse, serum adapted to specific concern [serums for specific concerns was a common answer I saw among the other French women] and a moisturizer with ceramides to take care of the skin barrier. Of course sunscreen as well in the morning, that’s a non-negotiable.”

EVB - The French Edit also gave their answer, “I wouldn’t say I fit the typical Parisian or French beauty mold… Years of travel and living in the US have shaped a more fluid approach: I rotate products with the seasons and adapt entirely depending on where in the world I am.
Right now I’m in Paris during a heatwave, so my routine has been stripped right back. When the heat isn’t too intense, I reach for Chanel’s Numéro 1 cream as my base. For sun protection, I alternate between the Krème solar oil and the Caudalie sun stick. On my legs, I use Oden’s dry oil (you can find it at Oh my cream).”

Side Note: Again, nothing is an affiliate link as I haven’t tried them myself yet. Just wanted to make it easy for you to find. :)

Here’s what a few of the women on Reddit answered:

ladom44 says, “F46 [Female, 46] I wash it with soap and water in the shower in the morning and once dry I apply organic, first cold-pressed hazelnut oil.
I don’t expose myself to the sun (shade, hat).
And I’ve never smoked.
That’s all.
Still no wrinkles in sight.”

Side Note: When I asked her about the benefits of the oil, she sent me to this page that discusses the cold-pressed hazelnut oil she uses.

CosmicAdena says this about her routine, “I don’t think I’m representative of French women, but my skincare routine is: Morning: moisturizer + vitamin C serum + SPF 50 sunscreen EVERY SINGLE DAY (yes, even in winter, yes, even when it’s raining, UVA rays still get through) + BB cream. Evening: tretinoin + night cream.” She also states that the glow up was unreal.

“There’s a lot of French women, and a lot of different routines. Mine is quite basic : washing my face, moisturizing when it feels dry in winter. Nothing fancy.” - Glou256

“I think there are a lot of clichés and idealizations... Maybe it comes down to using the right products? We really like pharmacy products in France and tend to believe in the “less is more” approach. A good moisturizer, sunscreen, cleanser, night cream, serum, eye cream, retinol. But most of my friends don’t have that many steps in their routine!” - NorthHyena1081

“I have a pretty heavy routine, with peptides/vitamin C/AZA, treatment and 50 SPF of course, but I feel like an alien among my group of girlfriends!” - Clarinet_ (Ask Meuf)

“I wash my face in the shower with the same mild soap I use for my body (Bioderma Atoderm). I like to finish with cold water. Out of the shower, some moisturizer, and voilà.” - Tata_Popo

Side Note: Washing face with soap in the showers was a very common answer. Again, it really fits the simple/minimalist skincare approach.

”I used to have a very long routine, but now I only use 4 products:

• a suitable cleaner

• a retinol serum (only at night)

• a moisturizing cream (the same one morning and evening)

• SPF for the day (non-negotiable)

And finally, my skin is flawless. Much better than when I was desperately searching for THE perfect routine. And it costs less.” - MisantropAsh

“One French woman out of I don’t know how many millions here: after trying loads of complicated, multi-step routines, I’ve found that my skin is happier when my routine is simple. So, basically: makeup remover at night (I use micellar water that also removes makeup; I don’t like oil-based products) + Avene cleansing gel that I bought at the pharmacy + moisturizer. In the morning, just a little water, and I put on sunscreen every day. I’m still young, in my thirties, but people regularly tell me I look 5-7 years younger.” - Longjumping-Word8336

“I wash my face then apply toner and hydrating cream. Sometimes serum. That’s it.“ - Ok_Efficiency_3750

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On Makeup

Their makeup tips were also the same as their skincare advice. Simple is best.

Here’s what Julia Comil from Mode RSVP says about it:

“As a French woman, I have always believed that beautiful makeup starts with beautiful skin. Rather than using makeup to transform my features, I see it as a way to subtly enhance them. My philosophy has always been centered around balance: healthy, radiant skin paired with effortless makeup that feels polished yet natural. French beauty isn’t about perfection, it’s about intention. It’s taking the time to care for your skin, choosing products that truly work for you, and embracing your natural features rather than trying to change them.
"For me, skincare is not about chasing perfection. It’s about consistency, prevention, and investing in your skin over time. When your skin is well cared for, you naturally need less makeup, and confidence comes more easily. My daily routine is focused on maintaining healthy skin, supporting long-term skin health, and preserving a natural glow as I age.”

The French Edit also added, “During a heatwave, I keep it minimal: Chanel’s volume mascara and a brow pencil, then I lock everything in place with Rare Beauty’s brow gel, which is genuinely essential in summer when heat and humidity take over.”

In reference to her previous answer on skincare, Auriane from Fancy & Healthy avec Auriane says, “As for makeup, the same philosophy applies: a little concealer, blush, bronzer, mascara and tinted lip balm like the black honey from Clinique.”

Aware-Jackfruit-7464 on Reddit shared this: “the heavy makeup that you often see elsewhere is not a big thing here though, it’s more of a light makeup natural look, lipstick is a big thing often a big bold colour. You’ll see even the super old women toddling down the st. and they have a slash of red.”

One Last Note on French Makeup: Among many of the answers I got, I found BB + CC cream to be a very common product people used instead of a full-coverage foundation. And as one user stated, “beauty standards favor a more ‘natural’ look. I rarely notice heavier, full-face makeup or obvious cosmetic procedures in my daily life.”

On French Pharmacy Products (+ Recommendations)

French pharmacies became trendy on US social media, and now I get why after reading over the different answers.

Julia Comil talks about her favorite pharmacy brands:

Caudalie: “Caudalie has long been one of my favorites. I love their Makeup Removing Cleansing Oil, which is incredibly gentle on the eyes, as well as their Moisturizing Toner with Rose Water. Their body care products are equally wonderful, especially their hand cream and foot balm, which I always keep on hand.
La Roche-Posay: No French skincare routine feels complete without La Roche-Posay. Their Anthelios SPF range is one of my daily essentials, and the Toleriane Hydrating Gentle Cleanser remains one of the best cleansers I have ever used, particularly for sensitive skin. For the body, I can’t recommend enough the triple moisturizer. When it comes to double cleansing, I often alternate between products from Caudalie and La Roche-Posay depending on what my skin needs.
Avene: Once a week, I like to give my skin a little extra attention with a hydrating mask. Whenever I’m in France, I always stock up on the Avène Soothing Hydrating Mask, a longtime favorite that instantly comforts, hydrates, and revives tired skin.
Garancia: Lately, I’ve also been loving Garancia, particularly their iconic 30-second peel. It’s one of those products that delivers an immediate glow and leaves my skin looking smoother and more radiant with minimal effort.
L’Occitane: And because no trip to a French pharmacy is complete without a few indulgent purchases, I always bring back products from L’Occitane. Anything infused with almond is guaranteed to make it into my basket: from the Almond Shower Oil to their body care favorites. The scent is beautiful, and the formulas leave the skin feeling incredibly soft and nourished.”

Speaking of Caudalie, Lilysoriginails (40F) says some of her favorites from this brand are Caudalie glycol essence, Caudalie resveratrol cream, Caudalie cleansing oil, Caudalie resveratrol night cream, and a Caudalie scrub or peel.

Lyannake from Reddit also says, “Parapharmacie [French Pharmacy] brands will do wonders for your skin. And walking a lot.” And when I asked them about their recommendations, they answered, “Depends on your skin. You can’t really go wrong with Avene, La Roche Posay and Ducray though. Personally the cream Azeane by ACM has done wonders, a bit hard to find but worth the hassle”

“I really like the La Rosée brand (I love their facial moisturizers, sunscreens, and body products), Caudalie (the Vinohydra range is my favorite, and Vinoperfect is great if you have dark spots), and La Roche-Posay; I really like their facial sunscreens. I could mention many others, like Bioderma, which is also very good.” - NorthHyena1081

“Moisturize, I use I think one of the most, if not the most famous French moisturizer: Embryolisse Lait Crème Concentré, and voilà ! [this product was mentioned twice] La Roche-Posay cleansing milk + Indian Dermophile [a product created by a French apothecary in WWI for soldiers to protect their skin from the cold and wind].” -Arwe2n100e

Last Note on French Pharmacy Products: Micellar water was mentioned 17 different times as being apart of their skincare routines. Here are a few brands people recommended trying when asked:

• La Roche-Posay’s micellar water

• Monoprix Organic Beauty micellar water

• SensibioH2O micellar water

Other Notable and Try-Worthy Products + Shop Mentions

I’m going to list just a few product and shop mentions that I thought were worth taking note on.

Products:

• Nacinamide cleanser: The ingredient, nacinamide, helps the skin barrier and elasticity, regulates oil, and reduces inflammation.

• Panthenol serum: Helps hydrate + smooth skin.

• Triskel_gaming from Reddit recommends Marseille soap which according to Wikipedia is, “a traditional hard soap made from vegetable oils that has been produced around Marseille, France, for about 600 years.” It’s supposed to be great for soothing sensitive skin. ALSO, I realized I had seen it at a market in Nice, France, and because I had no idea what it was at the time, I went “Oh, pretty soap, I’m gonna take a photo,” and didn’t buy any (said photo above). Legitimiately sad about that.

• Comfortable_Body9363 says she uses Yves Rocher’s healing cream if she gets a pimple.

Shop Recommendation: Three different people recommended Aroma-Zone. RealHousePotato said, “Most of my friend and myself are going to Aroma-Zone for cheap but efficient products” Salty_Mode1105 also talked about the same shop, “Aroma zone is a great website/shop we use for skin care :)” Also, Sensetive_Trouble_60 recommends Aroma Zone’s under-eye serum as a good product to try.

On French Skincare Ingredients (They Might Not Always Be the Same)

And lastly, I wanted to cover one important detail that mikmik555 on Reddit brought up.

“When I started to have dark spots, I went to the dermatologist and he gave me a prescription to get a custom made cream at the pharmacy that I paid 75 euros and made my dark spots completely disappear. In Canada, I was told by my doctor to just cover it with makeup. I went to a medi spa, the serum and cream were over 600$ and laser was over 2000. I don’t even have that much spots. So, yes, it’s the food but it’s also that the skin products aren’t the same. Even the sunscreen. It’s more advanced. It takes 30 years for the FDA to approve new ingredients for skin care because they are classified as drugs.”

And when asked about the ingredients in said skincare product, she responded with, “It was a cream containing hydroquinone, hydrocortisone, and Effasun.”

Now this isn’t to say that any French skincare or makeup product you get aren’t the same as the ones you’d buy in France. But I do think it’s good to do a little bit of research before spending money on them. Reddit forums are very useful for this, but you can also see if there are any video or article reviews on the products you want.

PS - If you’d like me to ask these incredibly helpful women any more questions, then please let me know!

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DISCLAIMER: An AI did not write this article. If I use a semicolon, it’s because I’ve liked using them since high school.

This is your summer to have a full reset and make life feel more beautiful.

And then you take the beauty you created in this season and roll it over into the next.

This is the time to start killing rushed mornings and make the mundane feel lovely. This is the summer for kind of feeling like you’re the main character in a mid-century movie who listens to jazz pieces like Poinciana by Ahmad Jamal while opening up the windows, enjoying a really good cup of coffee, wearing a housecoat, and cooking with seasonal produce you don’t normally use.

Side Note: Should we all have flowing housecoats? Honestly, maybe we should legit just make it a thing.

So if you’re ready to not have a replay of another summer where you’re not really enjoying yourself, then here’s a quick checklist of ways to reset + make this season something you completely and totally love.

1. Have a Soft Day Only Rule Once a Week (Or More, Up to You)

Whether you’re doing it solo or with your favorite person, have a soft day only rule (at least) once a week. Here’s what your soft day might look like:

• No phones, just magazines, books, & journals.

• A slow morning coffee w/ candles, open windows, and a calming summer playlist.

• Doing calming things you genuinely like, but haven’t done in a while (picnic & book reading in a pretty spot maybe?).

• Stacking self-care like face masks + sitting in the sun + journaling + matcha.

And just remember, your rest really shouldn’t be earned because it’s always been essential. Please take the time to take care of yourself. ♥️

2. Self-Discipline < Self-Devotion

I’m not saying self-discipline is bad, but sometimes it can make you feel hurried/stressed. And since this is your non-hurried summer, we’re replacing it with self-devotion.

So instead of making yourself feel guilty/pressured into doing something, start doing things from the place of loving who you’re becoming.

I really don’t want you to show up out of punishment, but out of care.

3. Create a Meal Plan With Summer Produce You Don’t Normally Use

I feel like trying new seasonal produce is a great way to take care of your health, but also just have more fun with your recipes.

Because yes, you could make a strawberry rhubarb pie, but you could also make a mulberry crêpe cake (like the one I made above).

It gets you enjoying new flavors and new recipe and I honestly think that’s probably good for your mental health on some level.

4. Pick a Summer Ritual You’ll Actually Keep

I’m not talking about creating a full routine, but just choosing one really nice habit for the summer.

So this could be morning stretches, a glass of citrus water, or just putting perfume on at home to make yourself feel special.

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5. Clean One Corner of Your Life

Doing a total deep clean is ok, but this checklist isn’t for intense spurts of cleanliness. It’s for small ways to make your life feel nicer and more in control.

So instead of going after your bedroom or cleaning under all your kitchen appliances, try…

• Cleaning your nightstand.

• Clearing out 3-4 pages of your inbox.

• Doing a bit of journaling to clear your mind.

Think of decluttering as less of a productivity hack, and more of an emotional reset.

6. Start a Skincare Regime That Feels Kind of Ceremonial

Whether it’s in the morning, the evening, or at some random point in the day, I think summer is a good time to make your skincare feel more slow and lovely.

So touch your skin like someone who finally knows how to take care of herself, light some incense or a really nice candle, buy at least one expensive skincare product, put on some perfume (that has stupid good reviews), have a vase of flowers nearby, put on some bossa nova, and make this a way you can do a bit of a reset every single day in the summertime.

7. Normalize Hammock + Coffee Mornings

Could also just be a coffee (or tea) and your favorite patio chair, but I think adding a hammock into your life this summer is a great way to relax. You can just lay there, sip your drink, and soak in the sunlight + fresh air.

Also, it’s just a nice way to start your day slowly and not feel rushed.

8. Keep a Summer Joy List & Add One Thing Daily That Made You Smile

Keeping a summer joy list is proof that good things do happen, and joy already shows up every single day (even in the very small things).

9. Always Keep Pitchers in the Fridge

If you need refreshment + you wanna take care of your health, then keep a pitcher or two in your fridge filled with infused water, tea, or even coffee.

Here are a few summery flavor combinations you can try this season:

• Mint + cucumber water

• Rosemary + lemon water

• Iced hibiscus tea + honey

• Cold brew

• Iced green tea w/ peaches

• Fresh passion fruit + mango juice

It makes hydration feel easier and tastier.

10. Have a No Consumption Night (at Lease) Once a Week

So, instead of…

• Scrolling

• Netflix

• Podcasts

Try…

• Music

• Journaling

• Writing thank you cards

• Stretching

• Good conversations w/ a good friend

• Sitting outside watching the sky change colors

• Having dinner al fresco

• Reading a book by an open window

• Making homemade pasta

Create a list of things you wanna do on your no consumption night so you’ll actually look forward to it every single week this summer.

11. Learn & Have Your Own Summer Signature “Thing”

I think it’s kind of fun to be known for something, so this summer, try being known among your friends as the person who always makes:

• Strawberry shortcake

• Basil lemonade

• Affogatos

• Tomato tartines

• Iced cardamom coffee

• Sourdough bread w/ edible summer flowers in it

• Or anything else that feels perfectly seasonal + lovely

12. Do Main Character Summer Walks

I’m not telling you to get your steps in; this isn’t for exercise.

I just want you to walk while being consciously curious.

So leave your phone in your pocket (or at home) and start noticing gardens, old homes, what people planted this year, neighborhood cats, and the smell after sprinklers are turned on.

You can also take a nice iced drink and maybe listen to a good playlist, up to you.

PS - What are your personal resets? I’m collecting more ideas.

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DISCLAIMER: No AI was used in the writing of this article. If you see me use a semicolon, that’s because I’ve liked using it since I was in high school.

I want to become an interesting woman.

I want to be remembered for the thoughts I had, for how I treated others, and for how I carried myself.

I don’t need people to be obsessed with me, but I do want to add to any room I walk into (not subtract).

And you know what? You’re doing this with me.

One of the main reasons why I started writing on elegance + class and elevating one’s lifestyle is because I wanted to take you, the reader, on a journey with me.

I think life is a lot more fun when you practice self-love in the form of leveling up, and becoming memorable is a pretty cool side effect.

1. Make What’s Important to Others, Important to You

I kid you not, this might just be the most important bit of advice in this article.

Think about someone you talked to in the past. Not small talk, I mean a conversation where things went deep.

And I’m not talking about a conversation where the other person made it all about themselves. No, I’m talking about the where the person displayed REAL curiosity in you and what you were interested in.

But they didn’t just do that, they made you feel like what was important to you, was also important to them. They wanted to know more, they wanted to know how this affected you, and they didn’t make you feel like they were “humoring” you.

Then remember how this made you feel. If you’ve ever had this experience, then you know that you felt important in a way you hadn’t felt in maybe… ever.

Yeah, this is going to be you.

If you want to genuinely become a ridiculously memorable woman, then you are going to show a real curiosity. Not fake (this is where self-growth comes in), but a real interest in another human being. Think about how you would want to be treated, and then do the same for the other person.

2. (Genuine) Compliments

Compliments are an amazing way to make others gravitate towards you.

You’re showing that you’re kind, you’re outgoing, you want the other person to feel good, and you’re noticing what others might ignore.

I remember the compliments people gave me from years ago; it sticks with you.

Just make sure they’re genuine compliments; this isn’t just about becoming more memorable, but also about becoming someone you would personally want to be friends with as well.

3. Adding to the Conversation

The person I find the most fascinating to listen to is the one who actually has something to say.

I immediately lock them up in my memory as the person who added to my knowledge, not the person who monologued for the entire evening.

Now I’m not saying a person can’t have moments where they’re digesting their feelings around a certain topic. But if they’re constantly bringing it back to themselves, their personal stories, their highs and their lows, and they’re never taking a moment to process anything I’ve said, then I write them off as a nice to hang out with for one evening and one evening only kind of person.

So when you’re hanging out with someone or maybe a group, think about what you want to add to the conversation and always make sure others get their time be in the spotlight as well.

Dialogue is a beautiful dance if you let it be.

Buy me a coffee to support my work. ☺️

4. Develop Your Own Interests

I feel that memorable women tend to have a life that’s rich with interests. There’s something so deeply fascinating with a person who delves into something lovely and… just has a life.

Whether that’s cooking, learning Italian, gardening, painting, reading non-fiction books around a certain time in history, poetry, or music, you can tell they want to discover more about themselves and the world around them.

And a woman who’s always discovering pulls you into new worlds you didn’t even know existed.

5. Remember the Small Details

When I learn about people who were charismatic and remember-worthy (even if they weren’t a good person in their private life), one thing keeps coming up.

They remember the small details about a person from their previous interaction.

They’ll ask them how their spouse is doing (and they’ll remember the spouse’s name btw), they’ll remember a book they were reading, an important date, and anything else that makes the person feel seen.

6. Leave People Better Than You Found Them

It doesn’t matter if it’s a dinner party, a coffee date with a friend, or even a waiter at a restaurant, always leave people better than you found them.

The encouraging word you said in a conversation, the spontaneous compliment, the minutes you just spent genuinely listening to their story, those are the kind of things that people will remember for years.

read: how to get your personality back

7. Make Everyday Moments Feel Special

I feel that a woman who enjoys serving a beautiful breakfast for herself is often the same woman who really makes guests feel welcome. And if she’s the kind of person who loves small rituals, then she’s probably the kind of person who brings thoughtfulness into gatherings and relationships. Or if she notices beauty in the small, ordinary moments, she might also has interesting stories, observations, and perspectives to share.

So I guess this is your sign to find ways to create beauty in the ordinary quiet moments, and start looking for it in the places others would often ignore.

8. Become Known for Something

You could be the woman who’s known for hosting incredible, intimate dinners, planning adventures (that you actually do), or is stupidly well read and always has something to share.

And it doesn’t just have to be one thing. Find a few interests or passions that you already have (or want to try) and pursue it with excellence. See it as a way to level up as a person while creating your own personal calling card.

9. Don’t (Ever) Be Afraid to Be Enthusiastic

Some people try to look cool by acting unimpressed even when the topic or situation calls for awe or genuine happiness.

But memorable people are willing to openly enjoy things.

Oh, and I feel that their enjoyment makes everyone else around them feel more at ease, happy to be experiencing life, and lets them walk away feeling truly content.

I’m sorry, but I don’t remember the last time I left a gathering feeling good after interacting with a person who was trying to script me into believing they were sophisticated.

10. Manners (No Really)

I’m not talking about manners in the stuffy kind of way.

I mean actions such as introducing people, sending thank you messages, arriving when they say they will, and making guests feel comfortable and welcome.

I feel like good manners are something that will never go out of style.

11. Great Stories

Having great stories isn’t always about being dramatic, but maybe more because you notice things.

So think funny observations, an interesting lesson learned, a traveling mishap, and fascinating encounters. All of these things makes conversations, and in turn you, more memorable.

12. Have a Signature Detail

And lastly, I wanted to add something in here that was more about aesthetics. How you treat and interact with people is incredibly important, but how you physically show up has its place too.

(also, it’s kind of fun)

So this could be a signature fragrance, a color you always wear, a hosting style, a vintage purse, a lipstick, a piece of jewelry, or just an overall aesthetic.

And when people think of you, they think of this detail and it’s one more positive (+ kind of cool) thing they can associate with you.

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PS - What makes someone memorable to you?

These are the dishes you make when you wanna feel like you’re living somewhere along the Italian Riviera, you have lemon and maybe orange trees growing in your backyard, and you own an espresso maker that’s a little too expensive (but you don’t care because good coffee is important to you).

You make these recipes because your life deserves to be beautiful on a weekly basis, and you just wanna feel like the rich aunt with a villa.

Oh btw, that’s totally understandable.

I honestly don’t think you or I have the time for boring meals that make us feel like we’re just existing.

And below are some recipes I’ve tried + approved.

These are worth your time and some of them look complex and fancy, but are ridiculously easy.

So make some good coffee, put on some good jazz, open up the windows, grab one (or more) of these recipes, and enjoy your weeknight evenings just a bit more.

1. Oysters Rockefeller

Rating: 23/10. Surprisingly (very) easy + seriously tasty.

This is one of those dishes that the rich aunt (or in this case you) pulls out for a solo dinner w/ jazz, or an al fresco dinner with friends on a Friday evening.

Also, this garlicky savory recipe really is worth making along side a good pasta.

2 things I changed with this recipe:

1. I didn’t add the spinach.

2. Instead of making my own bread crumbs, I just used panko break crumbs. Easy and turned out great. 👍

Oysters Rockefeller Recipe

2. Strozzapreti (a 2-Ingredient Pasta)

Rating: 35/10. Just two ingredients + great texture + sauce clings really well to this pasta.

I used this strozzapreti recipe from The Kitchn and all I needed was a rolling pin and a knife. No fancy pasta making machine.

I did add salt, but that’s the only change I made (so I guess 3 ingredients). Also, I paired it with a nice carbonara sauce instead of the Bolognese sauce The Kitchn used.

Buy me a coffee to support my work. ☺️

3. Lemon Posset

Rating: 66/10. Highly recommend. Easy + looks like it’s straight out of a magazine.

I want to apologize. I forgot the exact recipe I used for this one, but many of the lemon posset recipes have a lot of the same ingredients. I just remember the one I used had cream, lemon, lemon zest, and sugar. Very simple, and very delicious.

But getting back to the rich aunt with a villa: I think this is one of those dessert recipes she preps ahead of time for those gently warm summer evenings after a really good dinner.

4. Audrey Hepburn’s Penne Alla Vodka

Rating: 65/10. Very cream, very easy, and you feel (very) cool for making a recipe that was created by an elegant actress.

I’ve been making recipes that were created and/or enjoyed by incredibly classy + elegant women, and this Hepburn recipes has been one of my favorites so far.

It’s perfect for enjoying with one other person on a random weeknight evening with some bossa nova playing in the background.

Tap for Audrey's Penne Alla Vodka

5. Shēng Jiān Bāo

Rating: 77/10 Stupidly satisfying + fun to make.

Sometimes the rich aunt with a villa doesn’t want to order takeout. Sometimes she just wants to make it herself and enjoy while watching a really good movie.

Also, while these were a bit of a process, there’s something so satisfying about making these pan-fried buns yourself. You kind of feel accomplished and somehow it tastes even better than ordering it at a restaurant.

Side Note: You can find the recipe I used here, but I did sub out her filling for a chicken (thighs specifically) and cabbage filling that was seasoned with soy sauce and sesame oil. Also, I cooked the filling ahead of time and seasoned to taste. Might also pair well with the Lao Gan Ma chili oil.

6. Caramelized Onion + Parmesan Pasta

Rating: Over 9000/10 (I hope someone gets that reference). Legit the best pasta dish I’ve ever had.

I can’t sing the praises of this pasta recipe enough. It’s so creamy, rich, flavorful, and worth your time.

I think this might be the perfect dish to enjoy by yourself, or with your significant other with some candles, a great playlist, and incredible conversation.

3 quick notes about this recipe:

1. You don’t need the chili oil. I couldn’t get it where I was and the recipe still tasted great.

2. I highly recommend putting in a lot more Parmigiano Reggiano than what the recipe called for. You don’t have to, but it tasted pretty good!

3. If you do get authentic Parmigiano Reggiano, then look for an age statement like 24 or 48 months. It really does level up the flavor.

Caramelized Onion Pasta Recipe

7. The Ritz Scrambled Eggs

Rating: 43/10. The most fluffy, flavorful, and restaurant-quality scrambled eggs I’ve ever made.

I read in a book about how the famous chef, Escoffier (who worked at The Ritz), made his scrambled eggs. They’re legit addictive.

He spears a piece of garlic onto his fork and very slowly scrambled the eggs over a low heat. The result is a super soft, garlicky, rich, and almost buttery egg breakfast.

Side Note: I just can’t not see the rich aunt with a villa enjoying this when she wants breakfast for dinner.

8. This Snack Plate

Rating: 80/10. An amazing combination of savory, spicy, crispy, tangy, and creamy.

I made this a couple of months ago and I feel like this is the snack plate the rich aunt with a villa would be enjoying when she didn’t want to spend over 30 minutes in the kitchen.

This is her lazy dinner that still feels extra.

The components of this very good snack plate:

• Parmesan + olive oil + freshly crack black pepper (a combo recommended by Chef Wolfgang Puck and I love it).

• Your favorite jamón (I used jamón crudo, but jamón ibérico would probably be great too).

• A fresh baguette sliced and toasted on a pan w/ olive oil.

• Full-fat ricotta with capers.

• Green olives + pistachios. One of my favorite snack pairings. The slight sweetness of the pistachios & the tangy goodness of the olives work really well together.

• Spiced chickpeas. I just spiced these with a bit of garlic powder, chili flakes, paprika, salt, and pepper. Nothing complex and very tasty.

• Walnuts w/ chili crisp (works so well together).

• Crackers of your choice.

9. Creamy Pesto Chicken With Roasted Tomatoes

Rating: 84/10. Restaurant quality + eat-in-under-3-minutes-worthy.

Found this amazing recipe on Eatwell101 and absolutely loved it.

Looks and tastes like a restaurant recipe, but is super simple and isn’t gonna run up your grocery bill. Also, being ready in 30 minutes or less, it’s one of those great easy dinners for two that makes the weeknights just a bit more fun.

Side Note: I recommend the Barilla brand for pesto. I did an a/b test and this one definitely tastes better!

10. Tonkatsu + Parmesan Polenta

Rating: 101/10. Husband’s idea. Amazing. Will make again.

This is what you make when you wanna combine incredible flavors, incredible textures, and incredible cuisines.

There’s just something so good about juicy + crispy tonkatsu and creamy/buttery/cheesy polenta. Also, I feel like it’s the perfect thing to serve for a late night dinner with friends.

Click here for tonkatsu recipe - click here here parmesan polenta recipe.

PS - What are your favorite “rich aunt w/ a villa” recipes? I’m collecting ideas. ♥️

Buy me a coffee to support my work. ☺️

Being classy is a bit of an art form.

It’s something you have to learn and it goes far beyond just having a nice outfit (although that can’t hurt).

And as I looked to classy women like Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly and how they carried themselves and treated others, I realized I had so much learn.

For years I allowed myself to walk inelegantly, speak without thinking, and not put too much effort into how I dressed, cooked, or even what learned.

But then I realized I was never going to become the kind of woman I could actually look up to if I didn’t change that.

I was always going to live the draft version of my life if I didn’t take action now.

So I’ve started doing things on a daily basis to become more classy like practicing my posture and elegance (which I’ll probably write more on later).

But I also want you to come on the journey with me. I’m not doing this alone.

So with that said, here are a few ways you and I can start being classy on the casual this month.

1. Have Everyday Luxuries

Everyday luxuries are things that make you feel special.

So this could be a beautiful antique brush, an amazing scent, an evening skin/spa wind down ritual, a high-quality coffee, or anything else that helps make life feel more beautiful.

Think of it this way: It’s the small things in private that can make you feel like you’re worth living a more lovely and classy life.

2. High Quality Over Logos

Choose things that show you off, not the brand.

In the book Deluxe, Dana Thomas discusses how you used to have your own initials on your items. But around the 1920s and 30s, your initials went off and their’s went on. And by their’s, I mean designer brands.

Now I am NOT saying you can never buy designer. If you legitimately like a piece, then there’s nothing wrong with that.

But I do think it’s a great idea to have a few statement pieces that you wear the majority of the time and make you look put-together.

Buy me a coffee to support my work. ☺️

3. Compliment People on Things They Didn’t Choose

Compliment people and compliment them often.

But try complimenting people on things they’ll remember 5 years down the road.

“Your laugh is contagious” hits a lot deeper than “cute shoes.”

4. Have Special Items You Wear Everyday

Don’t wait for the right moments, you are the special occasion.

So think a special/beautiful bracelet, a nice perfume, a signature makeup look, a nice blouse, an incredible pair of shoes, or a pretty lipstick.

Make it yours and think of it this way: you’re curating the feeling people associate with you + your own signature style, and that’s very classy.

5. Speak a Little Slower

People lean in and listen when you don’t rush to be heard.

I grew up in a home where basically no one listened to each other, and that meant I had to speak quickly before getting interrupted. And of course this is something I had to unlearn.

Also, I’ve realized that not only do you sound more elegant, but you get to put more thought into what you’re saying when you’re not just spitting it out.

6. Keep a Book in Your Bag (Always)

Elegance and being classy isn’t just about how you dress, it’s how you think as well.

And if you have the space for it, then keep a book in your purse. Finding time to learn and grow your mind will help you become a more interesting person + it’s so much better than doomscrolling.

Side Note: Here are 8 chic things to do this week that aren’t doomscrolling.

7. Don’t Explain Your Taste

If you like or love it, then that’s enough.

It’s your favorite author, your favorite coat, your favorite lipstick, your favorite movie director, or your favorite cuisine.

It’s yours and you don’t need to defend what you like.

Buy me a coffee to support my work. ☺️

8. Have a Signature Drink You Order Without Hesitation

I’m not saying this has to be something you order every single time or something complex.

I mean it could just be something as simple as a sparkling water with lime.

But having a signature drink you like reaching for feels kind of classy. Also, you’re guaranteed to have something you know you’ll like.

9. Never Correct Someone Just to Sound Smarter

True intelligence doesn’t flex.

It’s ok to just let the other person process something they’ve learned and share their own thoughts and feelings.

I mean, think of all the times someone just listened and made you feel important. Their listening, curiosity, and genuine interest will probably never be forgotten by you.

Side Note: Here’s how to become a disgustingly good conversationalist while we’re on the topic.

10. Learn One Skill That’s Completely Unexpected

There’s just something about a woman who has amazing sketching abilities, can pull off a dinner party, expertly arranges flowers, blends lovely teas, or has incredibly good penmanship.

And I feel that learning one (or more, up to you) unexpected skill adds a certain amount of depth to who you are as a person. It makes people think, “What else do I not know about her?”

11. Say Thank You Like You Mean It

It’s simple, but a thankful and kind person is magnetic; they’re the kind of person you want to be around.

So take time to thank someone for the way they helped you or how they made you feel seen. And maybe even write a thank you letter which honestly does feel pretty classy.

Also, gratitude makes everything you wear look better.

Buy me a coffee to support my work. ☺️

PS - What are some casually classy things you like to do? I’m collecting more ideas.

Last year, I had a TikTok go viral where I shared affordable rituals that felt like luxury.

And the responses I got made my entire month (not a joke).

The comment section was filled with 3,273 responses from people sharing their own thoughts + affordable luxury rituals.

I couldn’t stop reading them + being inspired by how people brought beauty into their lives.

And so I’m here to share with you how you can make your ordinary not feel so ordinary. I kinda wanna be that friend that shares that random bit of good advice that might just change how your entire weeks look.

You deserve more than to wake up to an alarm + drink an ok cup of coffee. So let’s make your life look more beautiful. ♥️

1. Solo or Friend Dates for Drinks + Desserts at a High-End and/or Historic Hotel

You get to take in the atmosphere without the big price tag of staying overnight.

This is one of my favorite things to do, and I loved heading to the one above with my husband when we were temporarily living in Istanbul.

It was called the Pera Palace (it’s where Agatha Christy wrote her novel Murder on the Orient Express). When you step into the main lobby, you legit feel like you’re stepping into another time period. There’s 1940’s music softly playing, the service is amazing, and you get to enjoy something nice as you cozy up on the comfy couch and enjoy good conversation for a few hours.

2. Buy 1 Beautiful Thing from the Farmer’s Market

Even if it’s just a baguette or a bouquet, it sets the tone for the day.

Also, it doesn’t have to be just one, but I wanted to keep things simple for you. You could buy some fresh bread + local honeys and jams, or maybe some pretty produce for tonight’s dinner, it’s up to you.

But the point is that you’re taking something home that makes things feel a bit more special.

3. Head to a Beautiful Park Early in the Morning w/ Coffee (& Pretend It’s Your Private Estate)

I’m not joking, when no one’s there and it’s just you, you feel like you’re taking a stroll on your private grounds.

Also, you can either listen to a good playlist (jazz or French music maybe?), or just enjoy the sound of nature. Up to you!

4. Organize One Tiny Corner to Look Boutique-Beautiful

A tray with perfume, jewelry, or a book can change a room’s mood.

Also, it’s just a small + simple way to give a space a bit of a reset and start making things feel more like you.

5. Have a Soft Morning Rule at Least Once a Week

No phone. Just coffee, open windows, and something gentle playing. This is your time to stay away from doomscrolling.

Also, bed rot is out, morning coffee + chill rot is in.

Side Note: Here are 8 chic things you can do this week instead of doomscrolling.

6. Wear Perfume and/or Lipstick at Home (Just for You)

You are the occasion.

You don’t need to wait for something or someone to feel special.

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7. Add Lemon Zest + Fresh Herbs to Your Meals

Feels like restaurant food, plus costs basically nothing if you grow or buy once a week.

Also, it’s kind of a nice way to feel like you’re low-key cooking like the rich aunt with an Italian villa.

8. Intentional Candle Lighting (Not Just for Scent)

Lighting candles is great, but it’s even better if there’s a reason for it.

So think morning journaling sessions, slow dinners with good conversation + jazz, or just listening to a really good podcast.

It’s a nice way to feel a bit more special and make things almost (totally) feel like an occasion.

9. Prep a Solo Cheese Plate as an Afternoon Snack

You really don’t need to wait on guests to come over to do your own cheese tasting.

Also, who says you need to have something healthy when you’re feeling kind of peckish at 2:30 PM? Sometimes cheese is the right choice.

10. Try Old Movie Star’s Recipes

There’s not many things that feel quite as classy as trying a recipe created by a 20th century movie star that knew how to cook.

Case and Point: I made Audrey Hepburn’s penna alla vodka recipe recently and it was ridiculously good.

tap to try Audrey's penna alla vodka

Commenters’ Affordable Luxury Rituals That I Really Liked

As I mentioned above, over 3,000 people commented on that Tiktok and some of them shared some really great ideas. Here are some of my favorites!

• Myesha the Explorer: “I create little international escapes in my hometown. On a French day, it’s croissants and tea, a garden stroll, bistro lunch, and a romantic French film. It’s like jet-setting without the jet. No passport, no turbulence, no cranky TSA agents, just pure wanderlust on home turf. 🥐”

• Bethany: “I make a fancy coffee and drink it outside every morning. I often make a fancy drink at sunset too and play jazz quietly outside.”

• Charise M Studesville: “Instead of a dresser, I bought an antique china cabinet painted a perfect chalky white. So my clothes and evening bags are stored and displayed like a cute boutique. Makes me smile daily.”

• thegirlinbeta: “In the summer I’ll eat dinner outside on a bistro table on my patio with a white tablecloth. Feels very posh.”

• kar.heart: “Fancy lamp in kitchen romanticizes cleaning”

• Rosie: “Slow down & make yourself a fancy lunch. Crisp French bread, sun dried tomato aioli, arugula/sprouts, mozzarella, turkey, with sparkling water and lemon in a wine glass is my favorite 🤌🏻🩷”

• Dottie: “Sunday night... Bubble bath, beverage of your choosing in a fancy glass, candles, and a book. Then matching PJs for bed. Monday mornings have been so much better.”

• Maria: “I've made my bed feel like a hotel bed, plush comforter, sheets that I love Every night i make time to go relax in bed & watch a fav comfort show No phone, just me, my ice water & golden girls lol It just feels like unplugging from the world.”

• Sundae Rose: “I take baths with a lilac, rose and chamomile (boiled like tea and strained) mixture added. It’s called a sweet bath and it’s delicious.”

• Límon-Rule: “Girlfriends over on a Friday after work on the patio/garden for wine, cocktails-charcuterie, candles, big comfy outdoor pillows and candles. Have everyone go change into comfy clothes prior to coming over, this starts your mindset and mood. Feel good you relax good.”

If you’d like more ideas, then here’s part 2 of affordable rituals that feel like luxury!

PS - What are your favorite affordable luxury rituals? I’m collecting ideas. :)

Buy me a coffee to support my work. ☺️

I want my life to feel intentionally classy.

I want to be making rosé poached peaches on a random weekend morning while listening to jazz pieces like I’ll Close My Eyes, and starting a good conversation w/ my husband or a good friend (and of course a coffee in hand).

But I’m not doing this alone.

You’re coming with me.

You and I are going to methodically and deliberately find ways to elevate our lives and make the ordinary not feel so ordinary.

And if you wanna start this week, then here are some things I’ve done in the last few months (or items that are on my list of things to try) that I legit thing you’ll like.

1. Try Recipes from Other Countries (Made by Grandmas)

I recently tried a pasta recipe from an Italian grandma on Youtube (had to use subtitles), and while it didn’t turn out perfect (she didn’t give exact measurements), it was so much fun and I got to try an easy duck pasta recipe for lunch. 👌

2. Explore (Really Good) Music from Other Countries

Nothing feels better than sitting down to read or work and you’re listening to some Ethiopian jazz or 1970s bossa nova with an espresso in hand. You feel classy, you’re enjoying something chic + new, and it really does set the mood.

Other good recommendations:

• Swahili jazz

• 1970s + 80s Japanese Grooves

• Brazilian lofi

Buy me a coffee to support my work. ☺️

3. Create Your Own Signature Coffee Drink

It’s an easy way to feel classy + have a predictably good coffee.

Did this over the holidays and was genuinely happy with the results of a brown sugar and nutmeg espresso drink.

4. Write a Thank You Letter to Someone Who Did Something Meaningful in Your Life

I recently read a book called 365 Thank Yous and was inspired by how it completely changed the author’s life (not an exaggeration, highly recommend this read).

And it’s inspired me to do the same. Also, here are a few examples of the kinds of people you could write a thank you letter to:

• A family member who saw you in a way your parents never did.

• A doctor who figured out what was wrong after years of being told by other doctors that there was “nothing wrong with you.”

• A good friend who stayed with you during a very hard season.

• An amazing teacher who poured into you.

5. Classic Foreign Film Paired With a Dish from That Country

Watch a classic film from a country you’ve never visited (or have, up to you), and pair it with a dish from that country.

So for instance, you could make some really good tonkatsu while watching Seven Samurai (a super famous Japanese classic).

Side Note: Here’s the tonkatsu recipe I tried & recommend (it’s the one in the photo above, it’s so good).

6. Find One Local Artisan in Your Area & Buy Just One Thing

So this could be a pottery shop or a really nice bakery that’s not a chain.

The point is to find someone who’s good at their craft, support them, and enjoy + appreciate what they’ve made.

Side Note: And if you really like their work, then you can recommend them to friends and support their small business.

7. Solo Journal + Coffee Date at a Cafe That’s Not from This Century

Doing a solo journal coffee date is great, but it’s even better when it’s in an old pharmacy (like in my photo above). Or when it’s a 100+ year old cafe and the atmosphere is absolutely perfect. I just know it’s good for your mental health.

8. Go Somewhere You’ve Never Been That’s Within Walking Distance of Your Home

Sometimes there are places near us that are actually pretty, but we’ve just never had the time to explore or enjoy.

This could be a pretty street with historic homes, a nice park with pretty trees, a bench with a view you’ve ignored for years, or even a small hole in the wall Italian eatery with insane reviews.

This is your time to explore and make your world just a bit bigger and more lovely.

Buy me a coffee to support my work. ☺️

PS - What do you like to do instead of doomscrolling? I’m collecting ideas. ♥️

In my pursuit of elegance and class, I’ve found that it’s not always perfect posture, Martha Stewart level cooking skills, and good enunciation.

Sometimes it’s the unexpected actions that a woman twice your age practices that shocks you. And with that said…

Disgustingly classy women know when to make other people feel important.

Here’s what I mean.

Last year, there was this incredibly beautiful woman I invited over to a dinner party and she was kind of perfect. Her look was on point, but it wasn’t just that.

It was how she:

1. Made me feel comfortable in my own skin.

2. Asked me questions and genuinely listened.

3. Started amazing conversations.

She did all of this and I had no idea that she had a doctorate, and once-upon-a-time used to teach at a prestigious university until after she left.

It just didn’t come up.

I only found out later through my husband who had talked to her husband about it.

The woman was accomplished, and she literally went out of her way to give me a better night, listen to me, give advice, be ridiculously pleasant, and focus on the things we had in common instead of status signaling.

After all the people I’ve met who’ve done truly amazing things and all they can talk about is themselves, it exhausts me. But she was different and I found it to be so refreshing because I’d like to be known too.

This woman didn’t just look and carry herself in an elegant way, she treated others elegantly.

She is who I want to be. She is disgustingly classy.

I’ll end this short read on this note: Some people walk into a room trying to be noticed, but truly elegant + classy people make other people feel noticeable. Because while anyone can curate an image, very few people know how to make others feel genuinely valued.

PS - What’s a true indicator of elegance to you?

Buy me a coffee to support my work. ☺️

For years, I wanted to become more graceful and thoughtful in the way I carried myself or the way I treated others.

So I started looking into Hepburn and what made her who she was.

Now I didn’t just limit myself to her; I also read up on other classy women like Grace Kelly or Princess Diana. But for me, Audrey felt like the pinnacle of elegance and a life lived intentionally.

And while I do study her for how she walks and how she interacts with people, I’m also looking into how she (and other incredible women) cooked and dined.

Her penne alla vodka recipe was the perfect place to start.

It was simple enough, but felt like I was having dinner in a place that wasn’t my Airbnb in South America. Maybe somewhere along the Italian Riviera.

Her recipe was creamy, rich, and went perfectly with a little too much Parmigiano Reggiano.

Here are the best ways you can enjoy it:

• Light some candles, put on some 1970s bossa nova, and enjoy it alone.

• Serve it to friends at a dinner party.

• Enjoy it with 1 other person while listening to some really good jazz on a Saturday evening.

• If you work from home, make + enjoy it on an extra long lunch break.

Here are the adjustments I made:

• The pasta water is salted, but there’s no mention of adding salt to the sauce, so I just did it to taste.

• I doubled the sauce recipe because it was too good not to double.

• It called for penne piccole lisce but I could only find penne rigate. The only difference is that penne piccole lisce is smooth while penne rigate has ridges.

• The recipe called for just a pinch of crushed red pepper flakes, but I added to taste.

• I couldn’t find authentic Parmigiano in Paraguay, so I used a Brazilian brand (still very good).

Tap for Princess Diana's Overnight Oats

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Here’s how to make Audrey Hepburn’s Penne alla Vodka

Side Note 1: I know I mentioned this earlier, but I highly recommend doubling the sauce recipe below. It makes it so much richer.

Ingredients:

• 1/3 onion, finely chopped

• Crushed red pepper flakes (a pinch but I personally did it to taste)

• 5½ tablespoons of unsalted butter

• 1 cup of tomato puree

• ½ cup of vodka

• ½ cup of heavy cream

• Coarse sea salt for the pasta water (normal salt will do as well)

• Salt for the sauce will be to taste since it wasn’t listed in the original ingredient list (unless you don’t want to add any extra salt).

• 500 g bag of penne piccole lisce (penne rigate works too)

• 1 ounce of Parmigiano Reggiano, grated (or as much as you want - nothing’s stopping you)

Side Note 2: If you can find real Parmigiano Reggiano at your local store, make sure to look for an age statement like 12 or even 24 months. The longer, the better, in my opinion.

Method:

1. In a large skillet or pan, sauté the onion + pepper flakes in the butter over medium heat. No amount of time given, so I did it until the onions were soft.

2. Add the tomato puree and reduce the heat to low. Then cook for a few minutes (again, no cooking time given, so I just did it for maybe 2 minutes or so) and stir in the vodka.

3. Cook the sauce down for 15 minutes and then add the cream and salt to taste.

4. While the sauce is reducing, bring a large pot of water to the boil, add a handful of coarse sea salt (or regular salt), and then add the pasta.

5. Cook the pasta until it’s al dente, then drain and add it to the sauce.

6. Turn the heat up to high, pan-fry for just 1 minute, and toss to thoroughly coat the pasta in the sauce.

7. Sprinkle Parmigiano Reggiano on top and enjoy.

PS - Let me know if you try it! I’d love to hear what you thought of it. ♥️

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I’m on a bit of a mission to live life more elegantly, and having a princess’s breakfast felt like it was headed in the right direction.

Also, I was just kind of stunned to realize that Princess Diana was ahead of her time. I honestly thought overnight oats were a breakfast trend that started a few years ago, but after a bit of research I realized they were just another form of Bircher muesli.

Oh, and the ingredients are equal parts strange and genius. Like yes, you could soak them in a milk of your choice, or you could soak them in fresh orange juice. Honestly, I wasn’t really skeptical, just excited to see what it tasted like.

Spoiler: I wasn’t disappointed.

It was probably the most fresh, creamy, and satisfying breakfast I’ve ever had. And if you’re looking to get protein, fiber, healthy fats, and antioxidants into your first meal of the day, then Princess Diana’s breakfast is your answer.

Side Note: Thanks Chef Darren McGrady for sharing her overnight oats recipe on YouTube!

Here are the best ways you can enjoy it:

• Early on a weekday morning with a really good jazz playlist + coffee.

• Late weekend morning with a good friend + windows open and maybe some vinyl.

• On your patio in your housecoat with some bossa nova playing.

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Important Cooking Notes Before You Start

I love making sure that a recipe turns out just right, so here are a few of my cooking notes that I think are important before you start making these overnight oats:

• Using fresh orange juice does matter: I made this breakfast recipe twice, once with orange juice from a carton and the other with freshly squeezed orange juice. I honestly didn’t think it would matter because the orange juice in the carton tasted just fine. But I was actually shocked to find that the one with fresh orange juice tasted much more deliciously orangey. I didn’t even think that was possible.

• Use whole fat Greek yogurt with no additives: I’m sorry, but I don’t mess around with this low-fat yogurt nonsense. There are other places you can cut down on fat, but this isn’t one of them. Whole fat Greek yogurt with no additives just really makes this overnight oats recipe so decadent and creamy.

• Grated apple wasn’t a problem: I thought that the apple would make it not as silky smooth. However, it wasn’t a problem and I didn’t even notice it in there.

• Keep the lemon juice: I saw someone say that the lemon made the recipe too citrusy and I couldn’t disagree more. Now I was skeptical since the recipe said to use the juice of a whole lemon and I wondered if it would make the oats too tart. But the sweetness of the oranges, apples, and honey really balanced things out. Honestly, I wouldn’t skip it; it really made the breakfast even brighter and fresher.

Tap for Audrey Hepburn's Pasta Recipe

How to Make Princess Diana’s Overnight Oats

Pour 1 cup of freshly squeezed orange juice into a bowl with 1 cup of rolled oats. It will take around 4-5 oranges to reach 1 cup of orange juice. Then stir and store in fridge for the night.

In the morning, stir in 1 cup of Greek yogurt, 1 tbs. of honey (or sweeten to taste), the juice of one lemon, and (optional) 1/4 tsp. cinnamon.

Grate an apple half and mix it in. Then stir in half of the blueberries.

Side Note: The recipe calls for honey crisp apple, but I didn’t have that at my store so I just grabbed a different red apple variety. Still tasted great. 👌

Spoon into a pretty bowl or glass, top with the remaining fresh blueberries and toasted walnuts, and enjoy with a good cup of coffee! ☕️

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DISCLAIMER: No AI was used in the writing of this article.

After years of sitting at dinner parties, meeting new people in different countries, coffee dates, and spontaneous party invites, I’ve found that there are just a few key components that will legit make you a disgustingly good conversationalist.

And you know what?

Learning to incorporate these good conversationalist habits will kill two birds with one stone (actually more than two):

• Yes, you will be good at conversation.

• Making friends + important connections will become (a lot) easier.

• You’re just going to become that person people like being around. The person they come up to at a party once you’ve arrived, not the other way around.

• You’ll feel more comfortable in your own skin.

• You’ll be able to easily see the kind of people you don’t want to pursue a deeper connection with (I’ll go more into that later).

So if you’re ready to become ridiculously good at conversation, then here are my top tips.

Make What’s Important to Them, Important to You

I remember hearing this line years ago from a series I was watching and it stuck with me ever since. Listen to whatever is actually important to the other person, and then make it important to you.

This could be about a certain life path they chose, a topic they’re really interested in, a passion, a lifestyle change, a hobby, a career, a goal, or a big locational move. And once you find a topic you can tell is really important to them, then you can ask them about…

• What first made them interested, got them started, or got them asking questions.

• How it’s developed over the years.

• How it’s changed them.

• What other interests or doors it’s opened up for them.

• What a beginner should know about that interest or life path.

• What unexpected changes it’s made.

And this leads me to my next point.

Lead With Curiosity

The same above can be applied to this tip.

Also, my husband is a master at this and I learned from him and quickly benefited.

Whether you’re talking to someone for the first time or you’ve only known each other for a few weeks, don’t just ask them about the things they’ve brought up, ask them about the things that you think might be of interest to them.

Here’s what I mean:

When my husband and I traveled to other countries, I noticed he would take a genuine interest in other people’s cultures and it would lead into a really great conversation that he could keep going for a hot minute. When I asked him how he did this, he told me that he led things with curiosity.

He’d listen to their answers and then take a bit of information they gave, get curious about it, and then ask a related question which would take them into a deeper conversation.

And when it comes to a normal conversation you might have at a get-together, listen to the details they give you. This could be about their career, family, hobbies, or any little bit of information. Then get curious and put a spotlight on that information they gave you.

Ask them…

• What they like the most about their career.

• How learning a topic has changed the way they think.

• What are the unexpected things they like about having moved to a certain city.

As you learn to grow in this, you’re going to get better at asking conversation-worthy questions and the awkward silences will get a lot less frequent.

Next: How to Be Stupid Confident (From a Formally Chronically Self-Conscious Person)

Start With a Compliment

Break the ice by starting things off with a compliment.

And this has to be a genuine compliment, not just a meaningless, insincere “compliment” that’ll boost their ego for 30 seconds.

Find something that you actually like about them; this lets them instantly know what kind of person you are. You’re someone who’s kind, wants to get to know them, and who’s putting themselves out there.

Basically the kind of person nearly everyone wants to talk to.

And of course, this will make them a lot more comfortable to start a conversation with you.

Keep it an A and Mostly B Conversation

There are A/B conversations where both parties are equally going back and forth, and no one is monologuing. And then there are A and mostly B conversations.

You are person A and the person you are speaking to is person B. You want person B to feel important and let them do most of the talking. This is legit one of the easiest ways to make someone feel comfortable, love talking to you, maybe make a good friend, and potentially open up a new door.

Ask follow up questions, press in for more details, occasionally share your own thoughts and interesting anecdotes, but try to make sure the limelight isn’t always on you.

So basically you’re treating the other person the way you would want to be treated.

Side Note: If the person really does go on for a hot minute without really taking an interest in you (at all), this is also good to take note on. They might not be someone you want to be friends with in general. I know I said to put the limelight on them, but if they don’t ever attempt to get to know you, then this might be a red flag.

Have a Cheat Sheet

This is another conversation hack I learned from my husband, and it works for conversations you’re having with a close friend or a stranger.

So if it’s a close friend you regularly hangout with, keep a list of interesting topics and questions that come up throughout the weeks in your notes app. My husband can keep an amazing conversation going for hours when he meets up or talks with a friend over video.

And if it’s a new person, just keeping some legit good questions and conversation starters in your head before you head to a gathering will help things feel a lot more relaxed.

read: how to get rid of insecurities

I feel like a good way to end this is to say that all of these tips come down to one thing:

If you’re making it about the other person, you’ll have less room in your head to worry about messing things up.

When you make it about them, you’re less focused on yourself and you’re having less thoughts like, “What if I say something stupid?” or, “What if there’s an awkward silence?”

And as someone who used to really struggle with this and knows that these methods work, I just want you to know that you can do this.

It doesn’t matter who you were in high school or what others have thought of you. All that matters is now and the you you’re willing to create.

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