Hello friends,

To thank you for being part of this community, I wanted to share something special with you today. A free wallpaper I made. Ready to download for your phone.

I’ve been working on a brand-new enchanted fox fantasy phone wallpaper, and I’m giving it to you completely free!

I need your help with a quick question...

I am thinking about creating a regular series of these fantasy wallpapers. Before I do, I want to make sure it’s something you actually want!

☕ If you love this fox wallpaper and want to support my art, you can buy me a coffee! Your tips help me carve out time to create more fantasy art for this community:

Link is in the footer of this email.

***

If you love the wallpaper, please drop a comment or hit the ❤️ button on this post so I know you downloaded it.

Thank you for all your support,

Christy

Here is a poll below:

I didn’t want every post to be somber. Then I realized things are bad right now. Maybe I should talk through it, to get to the other side of things!

I talked about going to my friend’s memorial. We came home and lit birthday candles for my nephew’s 14th birthday. I proceeded to call him an old fogie and asked if he needs a cane :)

“We are the only people who celebrate a funeral and a birthday on the same day!”

My sister laughed because she knew it was true! She has the same morbid sense of humor that I do!

It got me thinking about life. How someone dies and another life is born. Or keeps going. We keep celebrating when everyone else passes on. We have to, we are supposed to!

To celebrate life that is a beautiful thing. Whether it is the beginning or the end.

I was already having a terrible day. Discovering someone stole from me. I was so irrate I said I'd break their fingers and smile in my mug shot!

I'm having a weird time my mother's family reached out to me. We have been semi estranged since my mother's funeral.

I was looking for any pictures I might have had of him and I. I ran into my friends funeral notice and then my mom's and obviously his. And another friend who they claim committed suicide. I'm unsure about that one. Might be investigated I hear.

Great food. I'm sad by how small this is. It's relaxed just like he was!

Ashes were offered. I'm definitely accepting. I will resin him. My mother and my father. I planned to mix my mother and father together. Either a necklace or sphere you sit somewhere.

I'm realizing the crazy amount of people I have lost! Wow! I knew it. This really hit home for me. My aunt on my mother's side died recently.

It shows us life is fragile. We never know how much time we have here! Here today, gone tomorrow!

I love the music choices here!

He would have loved this!

Dear Friend of twenty years. We didn't speak every year. We would always catch up. We can't do that anymore! You can save a spot for me!

Goodbye for now!

Photo by freestocks.org: https://www.pexels.com/photo/people-photography-of-man-and-woman-sitting-on-green-grass-field-169927/

I am okay today. I have his memorial this weekend. Will I still be okay then or will I lose it? No telling honestly. I would like to think I will hold it together. I don’t know for sure. He was murdered in Detroit. Gun violence. I heard about it on the news. I had no idea it was him! Never did I think I would know someone murdered on the news! I am glad they caught the guy, he is probably getting life. Not a big consolation though!

A poem for him:

🖤 Beauty and the Beast

We were young and free,
Living life how we wanted.
I covered you so many times.
You threatened to beat up my boyfriends.

Completely platonic.
6’7 and scared of me.
I could reach your face,
Unlike the other girls.

You tried to protect me
The best you could.
Like I ever listened.

I can’t stand what happened.
You tried to save yourself and failed.
I will miss you,
In this planet and the next.

You didn’t deserve this.
That guy was a piece of work.
I saw the news—
I didn’t know it was you!

Giving you a send-off, Big Bro.
I hope you are saving a spot for me!

As I sat here thinking about the information I had so far. People want to know how to finish their book. It got me thinking I have the tools for that!

The link below is a starter wheel. That shows you options on what to write, the new wheel, will be the ending. I have D and D dice. I can write ideas for. Think D and D dice for the main character and Spin the Wheel for the Second Character.

https://wheelofnames.com/ez8-yu9

Part of it is having options for alternate endings. Sometimes we cannot figure it out on our own. We need ideas. We pour ourselves into these characters and then get stuck. I find that one sentence “Does my character deserve a happy ending, very helpful!” Expand on these and give a little feedback at the end. If people are willing to share anything. Let the group decide the fate have them give input.

Not that anyone has to follow any of the ideas. The main idea is to plant the ideas.

Maybe a character dies, maybe everyone dies. Or maybe just maybe they rise to become the most powerful person on Earth!

I have not fully mapped this out. I am getting close!

Does this make sense to anyone?

Am I missing anything?

Each segment will be mapped out by time.

An hour or two hours?

Any input is appreciated!

Is the name bad?

Photo by Eyüpcan Timur: https://www.pexels.com/photo/graffiti-wall-with-love-letters-only-message-35030849/

Longing

Wanting what I cannot have

What will never be

Made me fuller than I’ve ever been

You left

Leaving me confused

But grateful nonetheless

I can’t imagine life before you

It wasn’t life at all

All fun and games

No one got hurt

But I crave you

On the long days

When I stop to think

You are there

Waiting

Great memories

I don’t regret a thing

Longing Wanting what I cannot

have What will never be Made me fuller

than I’ve ever been You left Leaving me con

fused But grateful nonetheless I can’t imagine

life before you It wasn’t life at all All fun

and games No one got hurt But I crave you On

the long days When I stop to think You are

there Waiting Great memories I don’t

regret a thing The joy the laugh

ter Was worth the goodbye

Always will be Smil

ing at your

name Al

ways

💛

Shooting stars

Remind me there’s life after you

You said you loved me

What a crock

You loved yourself

I was an option

Made you my world

You gave me hell in return

Tired

Glad

You aren’t here

Ruining

Every moment

Just

Because

You

Could

Good Riddens

Not missed

Not once

Bye

Shooting stars Remind me there’s

life after you You said you

loved me What a crock You

loved yourself I was

an option Made

you my world

You

gave

me

hell

in return

Tired Glad You

aren’t here Ruining

Every moment Just Because

You Could Good Riddens Not

missed Not once Bye 🖤

Falling into myself.

No more games.
No more lies.
I believe in and love myself.
Better than you, better than him.

Hardened by love.
Smarter to the game.
You love me? Prove it.
I know my worth.
How I love—you are unworthy!

💛 💛 💛

I don’t care about the money,
Not your looks.
I care about your attitude.
How you treat others.
How you act when you are mad,
In public and behind closed doors.

Mean what you say!
If I can’t trust you, no thank you!
I’m not chasing pipe dreams and fantasies,
Those are for books!

One day I will find him—
Not that I am looking!

🫶

Decided to try the shapes. What do you think? Are they too hard to read? I feel like they are pretty but maybe hard to read?

Anyway Happy Thursday! You are almost there!

Keep going!

Hey everyone,

I am planning a brand-new live, interactive creative writing workshop on PassionClass. Since you read my work here, I want to build it specifically around whatever is currently driving you crazy about your own writing.

What is your biggest creative writing hurdle at the moment?

(Insert Substack Poll Block with these choices):

• Staring at a blank page & can’t start

• Getting stuck halfway & can’t finish

• Making dialogue & characters sound real

• Being brave enough to write my real truth

If your struggle is something else entirely, just reply directly to this email or leave a comment to tell me!

I am capping the live session at just 15 seats so everyone gets personal feedback on their work. Once the winning topic is chosen, I’ll send out the sign-up link.

Thank you for helping me build this!

Subscribe now

Thanks for all of your input. I appreciate all of you more than you will ever know! For giving me a place to speak. A place to meet all of you beautiful faces!

Photo by Thirdman : https://www.pexels.com/photo/inspirational-words-on-violet-background-5981542/

I have been in game mode lately. I figured why not?

Two of these will be true and one is a lie. You can guess which one is the lie!

I love Evans Blue.

I owned a pet snake.

I prefer dogs to cats.

Let me know which one you think is a lie!

Maybe try this on your page.

See how well everyone knows you!

May the force be with you!

Support an independent writer.

This Substack exists because of readers like you. Right now, my goal is to transition to writing full-time, creating even more of the stories, prompts, and games you love.

By becoming a paid subscriber today, you aren’t just buying a subscription—you are actively building the future of this community. Thank you for being part of the dream.

Subscribe now

The dragon represents the part of me that loves fantasy! The part of me that wants to breathe fire and keep bad people at bay!

This moon is what stopped me in my tracks! I’m going to tell you a little secret. My nickname was Moonchild. I didn’t see it immediately.

I won a Jesus bracelet with matching cross earrings. God found me when I was at my lowest and about to throw in the towel.

The dragon pin is my now. The moon is my past and the Jesus is my future.

I was blown away seeing the different parts of myself. At different times in my life. I swear it feels like I have lived a hundred lives by now!

I have lived a life of struggle. Yet I have seen so much beauty in the darkness. Maybe that is the gift!

What do you wish you could change about your life? Current situation? What do you want to tell future you?

I will start.

I wish I knew the way. I guess that is the fun part, right not knowing! I wish I wasn’t sick all the time. A new symptom every time I turn around! That I had more money. More time to focus on myself! Future me I hope I made you proud! I hope my strides helped you somehow!

Support an independent writer.

This Substack exists because of readers like you. Right now, my goal is to transition to writing full-time, creating even more of the stories, prompts, and games you love.

By becoming a paid subscriber today, you aren’t just buying a subscription—you are actively building the future of this community. Thank you for being part of the dream.

Join the Paid Community

Subscribe now

Thanks Pexels for the image!

This is the inspiration for this. Halloween cupcakes!

Shards

The shattered pieces

Dig into my flesh

It feels like it pierced my heart

The shards of you

The pieces of you

That you left me

Dug into ears

Shattered my trust

Left broken fragments throughout me

Slivers

Small shards

Hurt worse

Less visible wounds

Everyone ignores until they no longer can

Unacceptable

Leaving pieces of you

Slivers of hope

Shards of lies

My mind can't take it

My body seems to

Leave me alone

Or leave the best of you

I won't take the shattered pieces of you

The broken you

That broke me

Into a thousand shards of glass

Because you can

You wanted to

Shape up or ship out!

What line stuck with you?

Here's my shards of glass for my cupcakes. Harder to break than assumed but I love big chunky pieces! Edible too! I had to try a small one!

This is Bat Girl. Misshapen but hey.

I wasn't sure I was going to make it. After helping with a family event. I was in a POTS and MCAS flare! My heart rate was too fast. I couldn't drive. I couldn't do much except lay there! Okay God I'm listening

It worked and I made it to the show. Still thanking God for that. I wasn't sure if I would!

I learned to trust myself. When I doubt myself. Like am I any good at this? Yes! I wouldn't say I have nothing to learn. So much in fact that it's overwhelming. I'm self taught! Just like in Amazon KDP.

That not everyone will cheer for you!

I won two of the raffles. Jewelry and quite a bit of it. Not diamonds or anything. Then I won the eye palette with hand sanitizer as well. This lady shouts “Get her out of here!” Well another woman won twice as well. She said the same thing to her. I think she thought no one should win twice!

Not everyone is happy for you!

I'm pretty sure a family member stole my stencils to sabatoge me!

I made my table money back painting one face! She tipped. So, in the craft world that's a win!

I have another event next month! Guess I better get prepared for pumpkins and zombie season!

And starting to mange my autobiography like I promised myself I would. Painting candle be spare time work.

I hope everyone is doing well! I'm exhausted and eating veggie sushi.

I feel like none of my masks came out right today

In life sometimes we struggle. Sometimes we don’t know if we are going to make it! At times we have to slow down. Give our bodies pause. I think we also neglect out brain, our emotional feelings.

What are you struggling with this week?

Support an independent writer.

This Substack exists because of readers like you. Right now, my goal is to transition to writing full-time, creating even more of the stories, prompts, and games you love.

By becoming a paid subscriber today, you aren’t just buying a subscription—you are actively building the future of this community. Thank you for being part of the dream.

Join the Paid Community

Subscribe now

We broke down in Del Ray. I am unsure if everyone knows where that is. A terrible rough part of Detroit. My friend’s boyfriend was over twenty-one. May he RIP. He had a group of underage girls with him. Since we were friends with his girlfriend who was also underage. That is a different discussion.

We stop to use a payphone to find a ride home. This is not a place you want to be after dark!

“How much you charge?”

It was the middle of summer. Some of us were in bikini tops and shorts.

“They are not for sale!”

They thought he was our pimp and we were for sale!

Men were lining up for us.

This group of four underage girls. The youngest was eleven. Ask me if they cared. Did they ask for an age? Absolutely not!

That is when I learnt what sex meant to men.

I was disgusted.

I was a virgin. I was thirteen and these men had put a price tag on me.

Were completely ready to take me or any of us away for their sexual desires.

Talk about being kind of scared. I was less scared because I knew her boyfriend. He was a larger guy. I knew we were safe with him. Although we did not trust these other guys. Pulling up to us on the street corner. It was not just one car. It would have been a great sex operation sting! Every pedophile it seemed was stopping.

In the world of sex work, they do not care about age!

Speaking of that. We had another event in the same year!

Our friend’s landlord took us six underage girls over to Canada on his boat! Highly illegal to take minors to another country! You don’t need a passport by water!

Now these men fed us alcohol. Again, the youngest girl being eleven!

They did not care it was illegal. My one friend got so drunk she fell off the boat!

My mother did not know until we got home. “Line up!” She made us all breathe on her. To see if anyone was drunk. We all failed. She told us to get in the house and to lay down. Debating if she has to call everyone’s parents. To tell them we got drunk and left the country!

Our friend’s mom knew the guy. He bought them thong bikinis even though they were underage. These girls were a little older and did not look underage. I don’t think she was very happy. My mom was pissed. It was the 90’s. None of our parents called the police. You just took your consequences back then!

So, yes, we were underage drinking. Where did it come from? These older men were giving us alcohol. Who is really to blame here? The underage girls or the adults supplying it? Or maybe it was both. None of us girls had a wholesome upbringing. All of us had some form of chaos. Whether the parents split up. Or they were fighting with their parents. Something was wrong with all of us. Is that why we drank? Quite possibly. Or maybe we were teens experimenting and pushing the boundaries. It is a wonder none of us became alcoholics! Nope we all missed that somehow!

As I am older, I feel for my mother. I feel for their parents. I would be terrified to find a group of drunken underage girls. In my case I think I was escaping my home life. My father was in prison. My mother was doing the best she could. She pushed me so hard. Most of the time she was working. I was basically raising myself. I had very little parental supervision. That is just how it was in the 90’s. As a child of a single parent.

So many things happened in this books that would have gotten people arrested now. It would have gotten them arrested then. Had our parents came forward! Contacted the police oh they would have been cooked. All of us would have failed the breathalyzer.

As I got older it got worse!

“I let you guys steal cigarettes on my shift. I don’t say anything! I knew you were!”

I was fifteen and my friend was thirteen.

At one point I think he wanted us to pay up!

He was a married cashier at the local gas station.

Who was unhappy with this French wife.

He did not care we were underage.

In fact, he tried to get us stoned on marijuana. Have a little menage a trois!

Yes, a married man trying to have sex with underage girls!

It was not just him.

Over and over these older married men found us.

Some had children or long-time girlfriends.

I knew a few married men with underage girls on the side.

We just never spoke about.

We knew better.

Especially if someone’s wife came.

I guess being young we blamed the guy.

He was the married one!

They were masters at sob stories.

My wife doesn’t love me.

We sleep in separate beds.

Trying to make you feel sorry for them.

That what you were doing was totally justified.

Manipulation of younger underage girls is easier than seasoned women!

Then you don’t know these are bottom of the barrel men!

You are too young to know many things.

They know that.

They say they are teaching you about life.

Is it bad boy attractive?

I guess.

Not knowing that those were not bad boys.

They were a whole different breed.

That is as far as I got on my autobiography. It is such a mess it is overwhelming to edit. I am trying to add moments and get them into a timeline that makes sense. Yes, this is a heavy topic. I will have to change my name! Absolutely going to have to happen. For me to write it the way I want to. Unapologetic and real events. I decided that is going to happen! Someone strap me to the chair and make me do it! My sister claims it is because I have to relive it all and well it’s hard. I don’t think it is that. It is a tangled mess of events and the time line is confusing.

If you have read any of my segments of this book you will know it is pretty crazy. My life story is wild. I don’t want to paint myself as a saint. I want to paint myself exactly as I was! Exactly as I am. Everyone else how I see it. In order to really dig deep and tell it yeah I can’t release it as me. This is just a few imagine if I dig into the domestic violence and other things. This is a heavy book. Lots of action. But me trying to sort through every event. The feelings that accompany it. My mistakes I could change. The ones I was handed that I could not.

Let me know what this needs?

Photo by cottonbro studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-paper-taped-on-a-wall-3826582/

I was thinking what do i need right now? To slow down would be the responsible answer! I need more things that set my soul on fire! More art more writing always! But more swimming and beaches. More magic and less stress.

So, that made me wonder what you guys need? What do you need from me? What do you need for yourselves? A raise, a moment of peace. A massive cup of morning coffee in silence! Moments to yourself that are just yours? Peace seems to be a huge thing right now for people. I think the world has gone crazy. Leaving us all upset right now! We can’t afford life and we have to work harder!

Maybe time is a good answer. The time to be and do nothing!

Or getting out of a depression or panic attack.

Your mental health sucks but you don’t want to tell anyone. You don’t want to get out of bed or brush your teeth. Are too afraid to tell anyone. Judgement is real.

Whatever you are facing. I hope it gets better~

Photo by Thomas Hoang: https://www.pexels.com/photo/silhouette-in-front-of-neon-i-need-you-sign-35849147/

There is only one you! For a reason, could you imagine multiples of you? This world could not handle several of me. That is facts! You are unique there is no other person exactly like you!

Your fingerprint is unique. The jokes you tell. The way your hair lays perfectly. Your job, who else can do that? How you take your coffee and the people you encounter? Those are all yours. You are here for a reason! Even on the ugliest of days. This world needs you, even if you don’t need it and it’s stresses!

Photo by https://kaboompics.com/: https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-shot-of-a-person-s-palm-6642895/

I can’t fix anything. I can send you a shooting star! Make a wish!

Photo by Huỳnh Thiên Phú: https://www.pexels.com/photo/starry-sky-over-an-illuminated-land-10807456/

Photo by Nothing Ahead: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-and-white-photo-of-a-board-with-a-script-and-a-potted-flower-8230311/

I decided enough sadness on here for the moment. Join the gratitude train! Here are fifty small things that can bring you joy!

1. photography

2. coffee or other beverages

3. fuzzy socks

4. frogs

5. beaches

6. a good book

7. comedy movies

8. a new tee shirt

9. clean sheets

10. tacos

11. music

12. flowers

13. getting out of a ticket

14. a compliment

15. a hot bath

16. a hug

17. thunderstorms

18. free if it is really something free

19. the pen writes

20. meeting animals

21. the park

22. nature walks

23. painting

24. your bed after a long day

25. no bra after coming home

26. sports

27. the casino

28. eating out

29. new outfit

30. candles

31. massage

32. driving with the windows down

33. rage room

34. ice cream

35. fishing

36. thrifting

37. diy projects

38. dogs

39. playful cats

40. mini everything

41. carnivals

42. card games

43. bingo and board games

44. yoga?

45. meditation

46. a funny joke

47. no chores

48. playing hooky from anything

49. headphones

50. gifts

Which ones are your favorite?

48 doesn’t sound bad. 8 and 14 are probably the most realistic for today!

Photo by Vie Studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-holding-black-card-with-white-texts-7006194/

I have a memorial to attend later this month. My old dear friend was murdered in Detroit recently. A dispute turned deadly. I hadn’t seen him in years. The details that I heard about his passing were terrifying!

He was 6’7. Around 300 pounds. A very large guy. He didn’t let people mess with me. He said no man should ever hit me. Back then I weighed a good 120! He was protective of me. We had a few fights as people do.

As I sit here writing. I feel like I am in my feels, feeling everything. I didn’t know I felt at all. Until I started writing. Until I started planning. I have to figure out what dishes we are bringing to the memorial!

Brotherly Love

Always wanted a brother

Never got one

A sister instead, we butted heads

You tried to guide me

Hated my dates

Threatened to beat them up

I miss your humor

Your silly antics

On a bad day, knowing what to say

When I discussed love yesterday. I guess I have experienced true love. Just not in the way of romance! The love of a good dog! A best friend. The love of being an aunt and a sister. The love of God. I know that one is a bit controversial. Wait I keep saying I have never known romantic love that is a lie! It didn’t work. Yet it worked perfectly. Completely untainted like the rest! It cannot be ruined like the rest! Good enough for me!

I am feeling everything I didn’t know that was in there. I sprained both feet and ankles again! Yes both and walking is a sheer level of hell! I didn’t realize how much I had been coasting through! Accepting things on auto pilot. I did not scream I had no reaction at all. Until I am writing about life. I realize I am mad about everything! My writing going in circles. My constant injuries and nothing going as planned! My friend dying, my parents, countless other people. The okay I outlived all of them. Why? I know my job isn’t done here. For that I am grateful, even when it hurts. I am grouchy and I just want to cover my head up and hide from the world!

At the end of the day I am lucky. I know that! Maybe not in how most people rate success. I have an incurable illness that causes seventeen more. I know as frustrated as I get that I am blessed to be here. When other people do not get to be! I guess that is the gift, knowing that you are lucky, when other people look at it, like how? I should be miserable. Maybe part of me is. Sometimes I know a part of me died that may never return. However, new parts were born and that is where the beauty lies.

Photo by Ilyasick Photo: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-couple-touching-hands-10280647/

No return policy

Going down in a blaze of glory

Like a sinking ship

You wouldn’t save me

You let me drown to save yourself

Begging for your hand

It doesn’t come

I learned to save myself

No going back, not to this

The old you died

No return

Wish I had my reciept

To return your tricks

Your broken promises

I would return you

Having never met you at all

They wouldn’t pay me a dime

Your love wasn’t worth it

Not at the end

Okay I think I have met my quota this week for dark thoughts and posts! Somehow this is what I wanted to write about this week. I have no idea why! I just knew I wanted to write! Any ideas on what I should write about next week?

This is the ugliest butterfly mask I might have ever done!

I've practiced on my face until it's raw! I haven't had much time to practice lately.

Now I'm trying to cram it all in before the show.

I'm frustrated and overwhelmed. Frankly mad.

On the plus side I have a new back doctor. I'm seeing a neurologist about my restless leg again. It's been plaguing me too!

After Saturday's show I can focus on my autobiography again. And I can slowly paint. I'll have almost a month before the next one!

What kind of week are you having?

Send prayers my show is great!

I just have to relax.

I'm just absolutely terrible at it these days!

Photo by San Photography: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-white-expensive-car-14196938/

Okay I lied this is not a G6. I was thinking about how wanting to escape is a true and valid feeling.

Runaway

No one discusses, wanting to run

Away from your life

Your responsiblities, yourself

The job you hate

The bad relationships

Money issues and bad reviews

Unappreciated and exhausted

Unhappy and plagued by sadness

A unfinished poem

A half filled cup of coffee

Journals unused, thunderstorm noises to sleep

Meditation and yoga

Getting lost in endless things

Just to feel alive

Not wanting to be you

Not this version

Full of fury and defeat

You hang your head into your chest

Tears that cannot come, all cried out

Something has to change

You run to freedom

You find silence

Your own thoughts waiting

When you finally stop

Okay you win

It is time to change

Face the bad that is me

Embarcing who I am

All the bad choices

The bad I didn’t deserve

I floor the gas, to get out of town

Photo by Nikhil Manan: https://www.pexels.com/photo/dramatic-burning-rose-reflection-in-darkness-28920341/

Everyone wants love. We want true love though, lasting love. Who wants to be half loved? No one I know. Unless you don’t want love at all. That is a whole different discussion.

What if you are so used to the tug of war? The I love you. I hate you. The arguments leading up to making up. Rinse and repeat. The explosive fights that are coupled with the world shattering make ups. Can we get addicted to the high and lows? We get so used to the fighting and dysfunction that the cycle is normal.

We crave the fights because they feel normal. The dopamine hits from the hard wired ever changing sets of emotions. These types of people are not into healthy dynamics. They do not know what they are. Or they think they do!

Starting arguments for no reason other than the make up. It is explosive and fun. There are people who try to set off their partners because they enjoy it! They are not even mad. Creating a fake argument just so the other person gets mad.

I will not say it is healthy. I have read it is a real thing. Getting addicted to bad relationships. Where the more toxic it is the better. Sometimes even when you leave you still miss them. It is not that they were spectacular, no. Your brain is fixed on how you felt when you were with them. Not the reality of the relationship. Not what the relationship costs you.

Willing to overlook everything for love. The bad traits. The sleepless nights. As long as they are still fighting for you they love you right? Or do they?

Love is the worst drug if you ask me! No one ever thinks you are wrong for chasing it. So many different options. There are not support groups unless there was some sort of violence. It is everywhere, music, TV, on every street corner.

We are made to feel bad if we don’t have love. Why aren’t you married? Is there something wrong with you? Or oh you are divorced? Steer clear of that one! Love carries this stigma that if it doesn’t work somehow you are the problem! If you are not married with the white picket fence something went wrong. With the 1.25 kids and the 100 grand a year. Who set up this system? Which sets us up to feel like failures?

I swear self-love becomes more important as I get older. I will not accept anyone who loves me less than me! I will not accept anyone destroying my peace. I am pretty happy by myself. If I cannot be happier than I am by myself I don’t want it. No more crazy fights. Words that wound. You start taking yourself off the clearance rack! Start charging your worth! I really think that people fail to see that being alone is not a sin! I am feeling more loved by myself than in any relationship. Except wait, that is not completely true. It happened once and only once. I’ll never tell! I might miss him forever.

Have you ever been addicted to love? A bad relationship? I guess sex could also count here. It can be a component of it all. Does anyone know the push and pull I am talking about?

Yes, it has black pages and white words!

I self-published it myself!

Has anyone else self-published? What was your least favorite part?