corn is, naturally, the foundation of most things. there are 64 unique varieties across mexico. australia has just six, and several aren’t even for eating

that said, there’s a growing range of regional mexican dishes popping up around melbourne that go well beyond the obvious tacos and burritos

so, after a few weeks of eating my way around mexico, here are a few of my favourite finds – and where to try them in melbourne

Read more

¡hola! I am three days back from ciudad de mexico, exhausted and inspired and in a corn surplus, my preferred state of being

lots of inspo to be microdosed into the local ecosystem over the next few months. a lady at the hardcore art book fair said that mexico city is the centre of the universe right now (facts), but I think we have the potential to be right up there with it if we stop shipping our talent overseas and foster what we’ve got going on here, romanticising our own culture, tapping into the fact that our isolation from the rest of the world means we spawn some truly one of a kind work – an even mix of global awareness and a deep inner world when we don’t get too sucked into online (it’s both a blessing and a curse to be acutely aware of microsuburb-specific discourse in a city 13,500+ km away from you)

the owner of wig wants to be stocked at distal phalanx; maggie’s cafe is decorated with billy buttons and serves a torta called the melbourne melt; julia’s oaxacan tattoo artist wants to travel to australia

needless to say, I’m glad to be back and ready to tap back in, etc.

Subscribe now

• literally every hot new opening launched while I was away: cote basque (bc there’s more to the region than cheesecake), the frog club (rip morris jones, I’ll never forget your unrivalled birthday freebie), delmonte (the king & godfree legacy lives on). if you’ve been to any, please send reports

• michelin-recognised import pho le has opened on elizabeth street

• cam’s is being revived (but you probs already knew that)

• gruel got a lil shout-out in fashion journal <3 alongside our friends supper hour

• you can watch a recap of our pie-eating contest on youtube

AUGUST

• she at the helm by taverna + cicciolina + navi - 20 aug at taverna - $185

• opa by c for claire + slurp wine club - 22 aug at lane’s edge - $65

• sancocho por colombia - 23 aug at pincho disco - $25

• suku pop-up by suku + nongkrong - 26 aug at sleepy’s - $70

• mince x capers time capsule party - 27 aug at lambs on lygon - $45

• shell space winter pop-up - 28 + 29 aug at shell space - FREE*

• japanese diner session by nama please - 31 aug at jollygood - FREE*

SEPTEMBER

• soupermarket by other goods (feat. us!) - 5 sept at the keys - FREE*

• kazdoura ~ tαξίδι by capers + mahalla - 5 sept at capers - $15

• an appointed time for eating by tesselate club + chef dora - 10 sept at grace darling - $80

• non-aligned books pop-up - 13 sept at boire - FREE*

* food / drinks available for purchase

• ginza kagari special niboshi ramen (cbd) - the creamy chicken ramens are what this japanese import are best known for, but I personally prefer the seafood-based soup, more light and delicate which brings the incredible (and very generously-portioned) noodles into sharper focus

• luke’s “favourite” banh mi (south melb) - on paper, bò lá lốt + pork sounds like the meat lovers’ pizza of banh mi – in other words, doing too much – but given luke’s popularity, I figured he might be onto something. turns out too much is sometimes just enough

• vandels bee sting croissant + sausage roll (brunswick) - i’ve come to accept the fact that I just don’t like pastry that much, so while I would not generally queue for one, I can objectively attest that vandel’s is good. where else in brunswick can you and your dog eat a sweet treat at the same time?

• jin noodle pork ragu (cbd) - the irony of an 800-year-old craft (northern chinese daoxiao mian) being delegated to a robot is not lost on me, but jin noodle’s product is not undermined by its efficiency – and helps keep costs low with bowls around $15

• casse-croûte le jambon (cbd) - french fix will always have a place in my heart, but I’m grateful to have an equally matched competitor on the other side of the city (that’s actually making sandwiches fresh to order and not driving them in from a production kitchen *cough cough*)

• the waiters restaurant chicken livers (cbd) - if anyone were to leak my google search history (god forbid), “can I overdose on chicken liver” would be a top result. in case you were wondering ↓ but a pot of olay retinol cream costs $60 while a plate of liver here costs $30, sooooo…

but NOW, I love a sausage. maybe this is…. me finally assimilating to australian culture? finally coming to terms with my sexuality? a bit of both?

and while I don’t have a favourite cuisine, I often find myself gravitating toward the food of what I’d call the eurasian arch – spanning the balkan pocket of serbia/bosnia/macedonia, going over the stans2 through ukraine and russia, over the stans, and then back down into mongolia and northern china – a rainbow of pickles and dumplings and potato and less-popular meat cuts made delicious through stewing and spices

like cevapi, which hails from serbia then made its way to neighbouring regions. essentially a subgenre of kofta, the skinless sausage is typically served with lepinja or somun (two varieties of flatbread) as a platter or sandwich, though it sometimes makes its way into clay pots or over a bed of chips. or may I suggest a cevapi-studded burek, fusing two of the greatest balkan dishes3

given how underrepresented balkan food is in melbourne’s mainstream food discourse, there’s a surprisingly high number of spots serving cevapi. it’s even made its way into meatsmith’s catalogue, where they say to serve it with hummus4. but if you want it straight from the source, here are my recs:

NORTH

Read more

it’s been three years (!!) since I started writing culture diet, one year since I bridged the gap between GRUEL and my alter ego as a food journalist, and approximately zero years since I actually explained the difference… so I’m giving this series a slight shake-up

at its core, culture diet will still be a recap of what’s happening in food and dining across melbourne (and occasionally interstate or abroad), so get your google maps list at the ready

but from here on, it’ll be more closely tied to my work as a journalist: where I’m eating on and off the job / who I’m speaking with / what I’m reporting on and seeing across the industry

it’ll also be a little rougher around the edges than my published work; quincy behind the scenes or whatever – more candid, more unfiltered, and a home for the thoughts, recs and stories that don’t always make it past my editors

one other change: there’ll be a little less emphasis on event roundups because some other platforms (looking at you, secondz) seem to have cornered that market and hyperlinking to each ig account involved takes way too much time. I’ll still share the events I think are worth your time, just more simply and selectively – I’ll leave the deep digging to you, soz

hopefully that all resonates, but I’d love to know what you’d like to see more (or less) of, so feel free to sound off. now, onto the new culture diet

• if i hear one more private, ticketed venue or event call itself a “third place”, i’m gonna have a fit. the only spaces that can really claim that label are paramount food court, the library and bowls clubs (the latest unconventional venue to be gentrified by pop-up chefs). novel, nostalgic, vibey, cheap, easy access to a smokers – it’s an obvious move. the only question is whether you’re a deep-dish pizza southsider or a burger northsider

  • PS, it came to my attention after the article was published that jollygood has also tapped into the bowls scene

• could transport hotel (the transit-themed grey box in fed square) be the next her bar? it’s trying to be

• good news: dingo ate my taco finally opened its abbotsford brick and mortar. great news: they’re serving breakfast tacos from 8am, drip coffee with half and half, and 40s

• here are eight new korean restaurants in melbourne going beyond fried chicken and barbecue

• after threats of redevelopment, the gaso has been “saved” by hospo mogul scott pickett (despite recent financial troubles). time will tell if the soul of the venue will live on, but I have my suspicions

• the GRUEL semi-secret dining group visited the city’s new semi-secret rooftop terrace to dine in a plastic bubble. watch us on the latest ep of forkcast

JULY

thick wheat noodles, thin angel hair-type rice noodles, meatballs (some stuffed with quail eggs, others stuffed inside tofu), a crispy chicken-filled wonton and a shit-ton of garlic – the bakso from meetbowl in south melbourne is exactly what you should be eating this winter to stay hydrated, immunity-boosted and collagen-rich

is saltimbocca having a moment or is it just me? here are two I’ve eaten in the last week. first up, a quail rendition served with figs and gorgonzola gelato from il bacaro, the older sibling to marmelo. might sound odd on paper but it’s actually well balanced in flavour and temp. next, a chicken liver version from roma, one of the loveliest new restaurants we’ve seen in a while (read my write-up here). according to the waiter, this is the most approachable of the full-page offal menu. the perfect gateway for dining companions who are trepid about organ meat

I finally popped my france-soir cherry at a raucous christmas in july party that ran from commercial road to the northside and back. apologies to bar holiday for hogging your bathroom and to le splendide for breaking your no-phones policy. as for f-s, the desserts are pretty trash and the blue light makes everything look sickly but I’d go back for the escargot and the sacred geometric forks any day

two green desserts on two opposite ends of the spectrum. the grassy-looking cube is a vegan matcha lamington layered with dark chocolate sponge, matcha buttercream and raspberry jam. delicious, as most things at cobb lane tend to be. the psychedelic slice is a sugar-free, low-carb, keto pandan basque cheesecake from regretless (30% off on eatclub, no less). this batch was a bit too heavy on the artificial sweetener for my taste (it low-key burnt) but I’ve been other times and that wasn’t the case so hopefully this was just an off day

I recently read somewhere that you should not apologise for being late to release your substack or any other self-imposed deadline and just fry flee with the confidence that no one knows the rules you create except you

much like when I used to do dance and they’d remind us that no one knows the choreo except us so if we miss a step, pretend it’s intentional (which usually works a charm except when you’re the only ballerina in a synchronised lineup who’s spinning the wrong way)

so I’m NOT SORRY this “june” update is coming in near the end of the month cause I’ve been busy making a fucking magazine (mince issue 02 coming v soon!! pre-order here) and planning some events (hint, hint) that I’ll tell you more about below and working on this (shout out lyam + angelo + lavinia)

go sub if you’d like more not-so-serious food content in your life. and now onto the month’s diet…

• despite the accusations in the broadsheet comments, the concept for chris lucas’ latest restaurant is *not* appropriated

• wendy’s (the us burger chain, not the australian ice cream chain) is coming to melbourne, chilli and all

• aussie pb brand mayver’s has ripped of one tricky pony’s new jar design (but good news, no more oily fingers)

• where to go in melbourne when you’re not drinking

• australia’s tipping culture is shifting as digital tipping prompts become the norm

JUNE

• senegalese sausage sizzle by GRUEL x ZYU GOO - 20 june at stay soft market – FREE*

• impressionist bloom by fleurmood - sun 21 june at burmese house - $85

• in good company by t.i.n.a. - thurs 25 june at assembly north melbourne -

• 3cr radiothon community day by hong kongology radio - sat 27 june at shop bao ngoc - FREE*

• hyphen spaces sunday market - sun 28 june at hyphen spaces - FREE*

• yum sheed by jamsheed - sun 28 june at jamsheed - FREE*

• golden rice by louise, chantal, nac + narit - sun 28 june at boire - FREE*

• pop-up cafe by off-menu - sun 28 june at raya - FREE*

• curry pizza by playte x raffy’s - sun 28 june at raffy’s - FREE*

• palay at frisco - mon 29 june at palay - $75

JULY

• dulan x viveik kitchen takeover - thurs 2 july at dutch rules - $75

• sassy’s jamaican kitchen by GRUEL, sassy + vicky - sat 4 + sun 5 july at paradise alley – from $32

• rituals of return by an.othercollective - sat 4 + sun 5 july at the immigration museum - FREE

• bakar + boire by supper hour - sun 5 july at boire - $45

• the future of italian food by dr tania cammarano x co.as.it - 10 july at co.as.it - $20

* food / drinks available for purchase

• a trio of sweets from buerre (canterbery) - canterbury’s uk vibes coupled with the fact that my former therapist was there give it a sort of cosy, homely energy, in a drab, rainy day kind of way. this poppy new bake shop reinforces the cosiness but brings some much-needed colour to the strip. pandan battenberg b/c it’s cute, pumpkin pie b/c it’s nostalgic, and choc passionfruit cake b/c the owner recced it. I’m usually a fruity chocolate hater, but this one turned me

• winter melon from yan (cbd) - most wintermelon i’ve ever had is tasteless and mushy (which has its time and place) but this is easily the best iteration I’ve ever had. charred and smoky with chilli oil + almond cream, this dish (and the whole restaurant, tbh) is severely underrated

• hotcake sandwich from attakai (carlton) - this matcha cafe is best known for their sandos, but hidden at the bottom of the digital menu is a superior sandwich – egg, cheese and merguez sausage between two hot cakes. what a mcgriddle wishes it could be

• black sesame anmitsu from nana’s green tea (cbd) - this japanese chain’s been around since 2001, but has only recently landed in melbourne. beyond the main attraction, find affordable lunch sets and trad japanese sweets like anmitsu (agar jelly). with black beans, mochi, bean paste + black sesame ice cream, it’s “not-too-sweet” and texturally stimulating and scratches the itch I always hope dessert story will, but never does

• grilled cold noodles from wow crepes (cbd) - I know what you’re thinking – isn’t the thing to get at wow crepes the crepe? sure… but I encourage you to branch out and try some other items. the beef pie, the “paratha” perhaps, or my current fave, the grilled cold noodles - wheat starch sheets that are pan-fried with egg then chopped into strips

• egg salad shokupan from airflow coffee (cbd) - the tiny, hole-in-the-wall cafe is the new sandwich shop – everyone thinks they can start one, many are not good, but here’s one that is. they specialise in coffee grown or roasted in asia, paired with shokupan toast and lo-fi hip hop and jazz

• keiseki lunch set from warabi (cbd) - if you’ve been wanting to check warabi but can’t stomach the $200+ price tag, here’s news: their recently-launched lunch starts at $32. the keiseki box is my pick, feat. nine little dishes plus your choice of protein (wagyu, teriyaki chicken or tonkatsu). why not pretend you’re a yopro and tack on a sake while you’re at it? work can wait

• nasi bungkus from garam merica (cbd1) - stay tuned for the next ep of mince tv, where we (spoiler alert) deep-dive into the wonderful culinary gems of st kilda road – most notably, garam merica. build your own banana leaf rice parcel with 50+ dishes made fresh daily. no wonder the place is constantly heaving despite it’s, frankly, quite random locale

recently, however, I’ve noticed people taking even greater creative liberty

sure, there are the pizzas that take the trad format (wheat dough base + cheese) and add unexpected toppings, either as a gimmick (pizza hut thailand’s sushi pizza) or a natural evolution (the boerowers pizza popularised in south africa)

then there’s pizzas that bear almost no similarities to the original, except the fact that it’s circular and sliced into wedges

for the purpose of this article, I will be accepting both interpretations, so long as it falls outside the boundaries of classic italian (including aussie and american-italian). spanning sweden (straddling indochina), bhutan, vietnam, japan, korea, china and thailand, here are seven pies that’ll get you out of your hot honey rut

swedish pizza - great eastern hakka restaurant (mount waverley)

Read more

thank you to everyone who came up to the first pie-eating contest melbourne has ever seen, and congrats to seamus, our humble champion (and the winner I did not see coming, no offence)

the rest of the lineup talked a good game (and many innuendos), but only he managed to down an entire banana cream pie – and only in about five minutes. if that’s not athleticism, I don’t know what is

missed the event? you can get your pie fix at path, who recently had a lattice-topped cherry and a victorian-grown key lime on rotation; walrus, purveyors of pumkin; contraband for pecan pie and jollygood for rotating flavours

and now onto the month’s diet…

• the bourdain biopic trailer has been released

• critics continue to dine at noma even post-”cancellation”

• rosheen’s new fitzroy pop-up is the hottest table in town

• hong kong restaurant mott 32 is coming to melbourne

• the man behind the tiger bomb (the superior verson of the mont blanc) is considering legal action against overseas imitators

MAY

• off-menu by sedni studio feat. mince + friends - 14 - 19 may at noise complaint - FREE

• ephemeral ebb by amy marlene forbes feat. lovage - 15 - 17 may at flower club - $12

• vietnamese pop-up dinner by glory us + evie thuy - 15 may at glory us strathmore - FREE*

• il fuoco by luke mackenzie + charlie osbourne - 16 may at lane’s edge - FREE*

• chai rave by the third place - 17 may at artful yoga gallery - $55

• chinese-inspired lunch by steve chan - 17 may at bar liberty - $65

• cake + closet sale by claudia - 17 may at dukkana - FREE*

• olive picking for palestine by playte - 23 - 25 may at various locations - FREE

* food / drinks available for purchase

• jalan alor vegetarian penang white curry mee (cbd) - dining out’s expensive but there are still plenty of deals to be had. see jalan alor’s $10 dish range, which is super vegan-friendly and generously portioned. be warned that the queues have been long lately, but they move quick

• yappari steak wagyu set (cbd) - if you like to play with your food, try this okinawan chain on swanston. the steak sets come with a sizzling plate so you can cook your meat to your preferred finish and customise it with an assortment of sauces and condiments

• kokoras kk plate – chicken, pickles, grain salad, tzatziki, flatbread (yarraville) - tzaki is goated so I had high hopes for its sibling chicken shop, but I was still pleasantly surprised. aside from the wooden cutlery (boo) the experience (and value for money) was 10/10. be sure to try the chicken dimmie!

• momo festival laphing (footscray) - ironic that I went to a momo festival and my fave dish was *not momo*, but what can I say? I’m not like other girls. the rolled mung bean pancake (a cousin of liangfen) has that slippery, chewy texture that I loved, plus dried instant noodles for crunch and some sort of fiery red cracker for spice. this dish is not around much so if you see it, try it

• pecks road filipino banh mi (cbd) - been wanting and failing to try pecks in caroline springs for ages (I really need to relearn how to drive). luckily for me, they’ve opened another location in my hood. no shade to vietnam but tocino banh mi is a game changer

• chabela huarache de nopal (thornbury) - the bar for mexican food in melbourne keeps getting higher. I know that’s not saying much, but chabela is a cut above with blue corn imported from mexico and a menu that reflects the diverse dining scene of cdmx. skip the tacos and go for the huarache, trust me

• pounding rice bowl beef + egg + tomato bowl (cbd) - a perfect night, inspo by me: tipsy for free via whisky focus group, phil wang comedy festival show + pounding rice bowl for two sandwiched in between (30% off on eatclub)

• interlude corn cheese danish (cbd) - my new fave hidden sake bar has recently introduced my new fave hidden cafe upstairs, serving assorted specialty loose leaf teas (the next big melb cafe trend) + pastries

being an official australian (I got citizenship late last year) means easter has now edged it’s way up in my priority list as one of the superior gregorian1 holidays – not overshadowing christmas, god forbid, but perhaps overtaking halloween (one pagan holiday for another)

for a minimally religious nation, you guys go suspiciously hard for it here and as a result, so do I2

case 1: I’ve been revisiting milk chocolate, which I rarely consume at any other time of year – not because I’m a snob but because i’ve been sucked in by various health orgs into prioritising the heart-healthy flavanols. cookies and cream choc bunnies were formerly my easter go-to until I knocked my loose tooth out eating one at age 8, so milk feels like a nice middle ground

case 2: for the first time in my life, I have an opinion on hxbs, which I see as a uniquely australian phenomenon. allegedly, aus is the top consumer of hxbs in the world and vic is the top in the country and I still don’t quite get the hype, but I’m faking it ‘til I make it

last year I discovered the beauty of the raya/dua ube choc cross buns stuffed with cheese and melted in the sandwich press. this year, they released their own cheese-filled ube buns. dare I say I manifested? I rec adding some choc next year, guys. speaking of, baker bleu’s dark choc + sour cherry bun was also good, albeit a bit dry

but enough about buns, let’s get into some other things to get your mouth around this month

• coriander-flavoured everything is popping off in taiwan

• there’s a new kiwi in town

• butter-dipped ice cream has made its way to vic and nsw

• some venues have added surcharges to offset increased fuel prices

• quick-service restaurants in melbourne have surpassed sydney

APRIL

• mahjong meetup by meiti mart - fri 10 april at aster - FREE*

• snacks + small plates by supper hour - sat 11 april at cardwell cellars - FREE*

• melbourne test kitchen - sun 19 april at the hardware club - $95

• easy as pie by GRUEL x zorg - fri 24 april at mixed zoning - $15*

• cook book swap by it’s our table - sun 26 april at hope st radio - $48

• chinese trattoria by supper hour + pickle fight club - sun 26 april at manze - $95

• island bites by kristina naray, entree pinays + tuka tuka kothuroti man - sun 26 april at boire - $85

MAY

• vietnamese pop-up dinner by glory us + evie thuy - 15 may at glory us strathmore - FREE*

* food / drinks available for purchase

• coupette steak frites (southbank) - 12 years post-entrecote, we’re reaching peak steak frites in melbourne. it’s not something I’d normally order, admittedly, but I tried a dining mate’s and was smitten. steak well-cooked, chips well-seasoned, condiments well-balanced (two types of mustard) and a vibe that’s far nicer than its southbank hotel locale would suggest

• jungle juice haloumi bagel (cbd) - true heads know the $15 bagel + coffee/oj combo here is the best deal in the city, and their branding goes off too. custom wooden signage designed to look like a marquee and menus disguised as children’s books? come onnnnn. they don’t make ‘em like they used to

• ima pantry miso tomato toastie (brunswick) - the cult of ima is no secret, but their toastie might be. at sub $10, it’s one of the best-value sandwiches around. not knowing what an ajitama egg was, my mom ordered one on the side, which may be the greatest accidental hack

• afghan kebab ashak (carlton) - popped in here at 2pm on a wednesday during ramadan and the place was, understandably, empty. but the meal and service were nothing short of excellent. the ashak are like mantu meets jiu cai jiao, filled with leek and finished with yoghurt and lentil sauce. if you can tolerate dairy, add a glass of doogh (like ayran, but fizzy and spiked with mint)

• ruzia’s chicken meatballs with kasha (caulfield north) - this polish-leaning wine bar is nearly perfect. excellent wine list, outstanding food, I won’t speak about the service… every dish was a hit but few spoke to me like the chicken meatballs, made to the owner’s grandma’s recipes and served on a bed of buckwheat groats, an ingredient personal to my own grandma, and an underrated one at that

• time after time fig + ricotta croissant (cbd) - for the last episode of forkcast, ricky and I tried the new croissant shop from the buy behind alt pasta bar (of culinary class wars fame). not sure what the charcoal adds besides contrast, but the fresh fig, honey + ricotta is a nice combo

• seoul tiger 1998 bulgogi burger (cbd) - last month saw me sampling six hot chips in about seven days for the sake of journalism. needless to say, I don’t want to see a fry again for a while, but I’d gladly eat this burger again. shout out to the housemade potato buns, an ethical alt to the delicious yet politically dubious martin’s

• garfield fried artichokes (carlton) - an artichoke done well is a beautiful thing and the garfield team have nailed it. the “tokyo-style” pizzas, served with scissors for DIY cutting, are obv the main draw, though, and far more generous in size than some critical reviews would have you believe

how and why can we talk about food when it feels like the world is ending? when war is breaking out and people are starving?

I am hyperaware of how tone deaf it feels to continue living like things are “normal”. to visit restaurants and share photos and go to work and write when there are far more serious things to focus my attention on

but i also believe that activism and education and care take different forms, and that food is one of them

I remind myself that i am living in a bubble of people who care about palestine, who know that merivale is cancelled, who understand the nuance of fusion – and that much of the world does not spend time thinking about such things. maybe sharing information as seemingly small as the details of a meal can help inform people and foster understanding

we all must eat, so meals are a valid and effective way to support people and businesses I align with. and in dark times, it’s important to cling to the small joys we can grasp along the way. for many of us, that’s food

so with that in mind, here are some things I’ve been eating and reading recently…

• noma gets its comeuppance just days before an LA residency and hours after redzepi tried to preemptively control the narrative [ update: LA sponsors have now pulled out / further update: rr has now resigned ]

• someone impersonated an upscale sydney restaurant on ubereats, resulting in multiple unfulfiled valentine’s day orders

• smith & daughters is not only NOT adding meat to the menu after all, but they’re expanding their presence and plant-based production

• the abc claims 2-ingredient japanese yoghurt cheesecake is making greek yog fly off the shelves

• in line with the rise of the performative chef, virtually every restaurant has an open kitchen now

• david protein bars (of snaxshot fame) contain up to 400% more fat than advertised

MARCH

• bifana sandwich pop-up by miles davis (walrus) - sat 14 march at skydiver - $14 for sandwich

• sunday tea party by so good tattoo - sun 15 march at kori windsor - FREE*

• cold bar by confidential kitchen - sun 15 march at ageyo coffee - FREE*

• from bin to table to dirt by survival & solidarity school - tues 17 march at unassigned gallery - FREE (actually)

• behind the lanes - thurs 19 - sat 21 march at 100 a’beckett st - FREE

• preserve / present by GRUEL x mince - sat 21 march at playte’s preservation pavilion (balam balam place) - FREE (actually)

• great aussie bbq by east brunswick village x mfwf - sun 22 march at east brunswick village - FREE*

• indie latinx market by aprieta feat. food by cumbe - sat 28 march at balam balam place - FREE*

* food / drinks available for purchase

• suupaa egg sando (richmond) - I don’t really drink enough to get hungover these days but if I did, this is what I’d want the morning after. a slab of steamed egg that’s crumbed and deep-fried and coated in a blanket of melted “american” cheese and sandwiched between two slices of fried shokupan (whoever thinks vegetarian food is inherently healthy is sorely mistaken)

• apa’s canteen bhutanese pizza (cbd) - it’s been a while since I’ve been as excited about a restaurant as I am about apa’s, melbourne’s first bhutanese eatery. I am absolutely obsessed with the hoentey momo (nut, cheese and radish-filled buckwheat dumplings) but also vouch for the “pizza” – a rice-based disc topped with air-dried beef and cut into wedges. apparently all the bhutanese teens are eating it

• ho jiak laksa bomb (cbd) - on paper, laksa in dumpling form sounds like the sort of influencer-bait fusion I would typically avoid, but nearly any food concept can be redeemed when executed well and not racist. while laksa typically involves multiple bites to capture the full flavo-textural experience, this condenses it into one beautiful (and pleasantly spicy) mouthful

• tatik’s delights khachapuri (southbank) - regardless of any financial misdoings, I must admit gray and gray was goated / I’m very sad their khachapuri no longer exists / I’m thrilled tatik’s can fill the gap. they also sell a 12-layer medovik (honey layer cake) with housemade biscuits + cream, and countless other armenian bakes you probably won’t find anywhere else in narrm

• ngon banh cuon banh da cua (cbd) - ithe banh cuon is obvi the standout here, but don’t sleep on the banh da cua (red rice noodle + crab soup), another northern vietnamese specialty. the noodles get their colour from caramelised sugar, lending a subtle sweetness to the umami-rich seafood soup

• made in casa bistecca fritti (toorak) - isn’t a t-bone decadent enough already without needing to fry it in butter? sure. but is it worth shaving a few days off your life to try this ott version anyway? depending on your priorities, yes. it’s decadent and theatrical and actually very good, if you can get yourself to toorak to try it

• cheesemonger sophie smoked ham baguette (healesville) - anyone who knows healesville knows no trip is complete without stopping here. visiting the morning before a dinner party meant I could justify spending $30 on a wedge of italian cow’s cheese aged under whisky-soaked chestnut leaves but if you want something to eat on the spot, the baguette is a must – and this is coming from someone who doesn’t even care for ham

• ministry of crab sri lankan curry crab (cbd) - I usually only visit chain restaurants as a bit, with low expectations and a craving for mozzarella sticks or a fishbowl marg, but this sri lankan export exceeded expectations. for a place that screams new money, the menu is surprisingly fun – crab liver pate spread onto tiny toasts, crab kaphrao served in a shell-shaped bowl, and whole crab you’re encouraged to eat with your hands, served with gloves and a bib that reads “keep calm and crab on”

(north) american (between canada and mexico) propoganda led us to believe that “made in china” was associated with unscrupulous standards and poor quality. lest we forget humans being boiled alive in lard in our own country (or so suggested by upton sinclair)

Read more

before we get into it, let’s all please take a moment for #benitobowl, which is suggested to have surpassed superbowl half time viewership records, lfg

I’m what’s known as a “no sabo kid”, a latinx person who doesn’t speak spanish which is embarassing but occurred for… reasons. regardless, I’ve always been really proud of having puerto rican heritage – especially since I took flan and cafe con leche to school in grade 4 – but have grown tired of having to explain or combat stereotypes about the culture

the fact that a puerto rican artist has become a worldwide sensation – even as far as china – makes me wanna cry // recreate the puerto rican superbowl spread I didn’t get to make this year (like these ceviche tostones and this picadillo hsp and these alcapurrias), so maybe I will. stay tuned

now… after a little holiday break, class is officially back in session. and by class, I mean a cheat sheet to everything I recommended eating and drinking in melbourne right now, plus a little industry goss to boot (have hot tips or blind items? email gruelmedia@gmail.com)

speaking of hot, warm days mean the city’s out in full force, so here’s your guide, from the new gelato shop churning flavours from around the world to the best dining events to add to your cal this month

• carnation canteen opened over the weekend and claire from mafs made an appearance

• ides is closing after 10 years so I unpacked what that means for smith street

• move over college kids – uberats and opentable are taking over the resy scalping game

• after years of everyone pimping their nuggets and fish fillets with caviar and sashimi and uni, mcdonalds is leaning in with their own take

• watch out – your alcohol, honey, oil and even seafood might be a dupe

FEB

• basque txoko by aitor jeronimo orive x nobody’s baby - now until end of march at nobody’s baby - $90pp for set menu, or a la carte

• back of the box recipe club by GRUEL - thurs 12 feb at milney’s - $5

• throat kitchen vday - sat 14 feb at pda - FREE

• counter cultures by mat’s hot shop + nama please - sat 14, 21 + 28 feb at suupaa - $74

• wardrobe clear out market by little homey feat. food by ostrich & egg - sun 15 feb at little homey - FREE*

• trot + taste by whitehart bar + sleepy’s- sun 22 feb at whitehart - $68

• lunar new year by thread feat. food by yang thai - sun 22 feb at miscellania - $25

• el unico by stefanino panino + el unico - tues 24 - sat 28 feb at stefanino panino - $75 for dinner, TBC for tortas

• mince launch party by mince - thurs 26 feb at milney’s - $15

• community picnic by shellspace - sat 28 feb at merri creek - FREE

* food / drinks available for purchase

• heyday hong kong cafe macaroni set (cbd) - not to be basic, but of all the laneways in the city, celestial is easily the best. supper inn, taqueria sin nombre, one or two and heyday in a few metre radius? you must be joking. the macaroni + char siu set is great if you’re low on electrolytes, sick, nostalgic, or a child – a real dish of the people. it’s interestingly not available a la carte, as far as i’m aware – it must be ordered as a set so prep yourself for a drink (iced yuenyeung), toast (no options here) + ham and eggs your way (scrambled)

• gamja hotteok original hotteok (w melb) - made with fresh potato, potato AND wheat flour, then pressed on the grill before being deep-fried, gamja ‘s hotteok has an incredible texture unlike any I’ve ever had, and the filling has the perfect ratio of brown sugar syrup to crunchy things (a balance between busan and seoul styles, according to the owner). but in his mind, the teok is secondary – his vinegar drinks are his true passion, so try one of those too

• regulars -85º coffee (cbd) - I’m not one for gimmicks, or even iced coffee for that matter, so I’m surprised I was willing to wait 15 to 30 minutes in line for this. but I love the tori’s team (also behind this spot) and I’m willing to suffer for research and because I’m self-destructive. long story short, this is good, though a bit rich (literally and figuratively) for my taste. but if you’ve always dreamed of an iced vanilla latte magic hybrid and are willing to shell out for it, this is for you

• ecuadorian corner bolon plate (cbd) - let me get one thing out of the way – this is in il mercato centrale, which has fizzled out into a whole lot of nothing thanks (it seems) to a really poor marketing plan and lack of support for vendors. but there are still some reasons to give it a chance and pray it can turn itself around – namely, ecuadorian corner (or, as the mercato has renamed it, il latino). it’s the first and only ecuadorian restaurant in melbourne, serving dishes like ceviche, hornado + llapingachos (pulled pork + potato pancakes) and bolon, a morning staple made from mashed green plantain, chicharron and cheese that’s balled, fried, and finished with even more cheese

• bonsai bali whole grilled fish (tecoma) - is it japanese? is it balinese? It’s neither. while they do serve some indonesian dishes, this spot is best known for their secret cantonese menu (ty to my friends for clueing me up). if you’re lucky enough to get your hands on it, order everything but especially the whole grilled fish, tofu, fish skin salad + chitterlings

• mondo gelato (cbd) - there are some rumours circulating about this spot rn but in light of my recent aus citizenship, I’m voting innocent until proven guilty. the texture is smooth and light, the sweetness is not overwhelming, and the flavours are fun – think purple rice (umi rice yoghurt vibe), peanut + sesame, dulce de leche orange (a surprising fave) and various cake flavours with lots of chunks

• gerald’s bar scotch quail eggs (carlton n) - scotch eggs are actually scottish-baiting british eggs, but I’ll let it slide because despite all of the nation’s atrocities, british food’s been rethroned and this is, dare I say, one of the best. if you’ve been on the pulse then you’ve probably had your fair share of the standard ones at this point but have you ever had a tiny brotch (british-scotch) egg? no? then get on over to gerald’s 2.0

• bottari dubai chewy cookie doughnut (cbd) - since trying this about a week ago, there have been at least five new dubai chewy cookie iterations around melbourne. this particular version is a mouthful and a meme and yet I’m drawn to it more than any other. shout out to korea for co-opting the american doughnut, making it even more ott than our monstrosities, then marketing it back to me

got a few things lined up so far including a recipe club next week at milney’s (think cookbook club but instead of books we’re cooking from the back of food products bc cokbook clubs are oversaturated/dead which hurts to admit b/c I embarassingly though I came up with the concept just like 8yo me thought I came up with the concept of a pinky swear before suddenly five other bitches were doing it – the hivemind is real I swear to god) in that vein, cake swaps are also out in 2k26 (see see)

while you’re marking your calendar, add the mince launch party on feb 26, also at milney’s, feat. food by us, supper hour, my name chef, trestle, gemma + dollfins dinner

I always thought valentine’s day was a scam designed to get suckers to pay more money for worse meals than they’d get any other day of the year

which it kinda is, but the older I get, the more I like to participate in cultural norms and, dare I say, tradition (which is not the same as the elderly urge to embrace conservatism, don’t get me twisted!)

can’t a girl just get dressed up and tuck a rose behind her ear and share a kiss over some spaghetti for one designated day a year without it being a big fucking deal? fuck feminism, give me an assorted box of chocolates damnit! I love tradition

and apparently so does everyone else because my inbox is overflowing with valentine’s day events this year. I guess we all just need a little love and overpriced house red in our lives

actually though, some of these offers sound pretty good. here are a few across the city, listed in order of how much you love your partner. you’re welcome <3

• pidapipo (multiple locations) – italian choux pastry with vanilla bean gelato + hot chocolate sauce – $10

• beautiful jim key (brunswick) – five-course menu – $75pp

  • highlights: iris foccacia, prawn cocktail zucchini flower, rolled & roast chicken

• firebird (prahran) – four-course menu – $88pp

  • highlights: smoked mussells, dry-aged roast duck, tomato fried rice

• bistro x (fitzroy) – shared spread + bubbles on arrival – $89pp

  • highlights: “gluttony table” with oysters, fried chicken, prawn cocktail, etc. + “happy endings” dessert table

• apollo inn (cbd) – four-course menu – $90pp

  • highlights: mussell gilda, beef tartare, creme caramel

• figlia (brunswick east) – eight dishes + wine on arrival – $100pp

  • highlights: sparkling rosato, albacore tuna skewer, burratina with fig and vincotto, scallop ravioli, cherry sorbet with fig leaf and pistachio

• añada (fitzroy) – tapas + three courses – $110pp

  • highlights: spiced lamb pintxo, confit duck, manchego ganache profiterole

• ogi (prahran) – four-course menu + wine on arrival – $120pp

  • highlights: farneto frisant bianco pet nat, fresh oysters, wagyu ragu, eggplant parm

• gemini (coburg) – four-course menu + champagne on arrival – $120pp

  • highlights: figs with local honey + straciatella, whole flounder with buerre blanc, chocolate bon bons

• ciao cielo (port melbourne) – three-course menu + prosecco on arrival – $125pp

  • highlights: roasted porchetta + fresh figs, whole roast chicken, affo-misu

• stokehouse (st kilda) – four-course menu – $120pp

  • highlights: marlin crudo, bucatini amatriciana, basque cheesecake

• circl (cbd) – four-course menu plus snacks – $150pp

  • highlights: whipped cod roe, goat cheese tortellini, mayura station wagyu

• ii ii vi (cbd) – four-course lunch – $155pp, 7-course dinner – $195pp

  • highlights: spanner crab tartlet, grilled octopus, chocolate mousse with white chocolate, cherries + hazelnut dacquoise

• marmelo (cbd) – four-course dinner – $185pp

  • highlights: spanner crab pastel de nata, pork jowl, steak + anchovy butter

  

enough with the unrealistic gift guides. in a cost-of-living crisis, items exceeding $1k feel less aspirational than out of touch

so here are some sweet yet practical gifts I’d actually like to give or receive, all (but one) under $100

fish pocket knife

otherwise known as a rybička, a czech specialty. perfect for peeling fruit on the fly (if you’re into that – I’m a skin eater), opening letters, self-defence (god forbid) or just looking cute on your belt loop

beetroot candle + beetroot relish

beets taste a little earthy for my palette but I can’t deny the appeal – especially in candle form. and tbh I can get around a relish, too. maybe on a cheese toastie or slathered on some homemade hash browns? just a thought

[ note from the brand: these candles are odourless so they can be enjoyed with a meal ]

the company is dedicated to “a practice of preservation for the stories and skills we want protected” which reminds me of a piece in our upcoming zine (no spoilers) which you should preorder here!!

dirty martini phone case

casetify has had a presence in melbourne since last year which makes it inherently less cool than when you had to go to hong kong or la (or later, sydney) to get it but regardless, I do like the designs and quality of their phone cases despite the high price point (call me basic, I don’t care!)

this one’s a collab with laundry room studios, who also sell their designs as prints

+ martini phone wristlet

after you’ve spent $1,500 on a new iphone and $93 on a case, what’s another $147 for a matching wristlet? for someone you really love, of course. they also have a strawberry one for the sober-curious among us

pepfume

I once made a custom perfume at the aveda in my hometown shopping centre that ticked every box of my dream scent. I never got the formula and have been desperately searching for something similar ever since I used the last drop. this comes very close – the elusive mix of musky, sweet and spicy in a space dominated by fruity and floral

I’m currently wearing my pepfume and this on heavy rotation – a heavenly duo

mince issue one!!

90+ pages of writing, photography and visual art for just $30 makes this one of the best-value gifts around if I do say so myself. covering food, hospitality and the cultures that surround it, a serving of mince is sure to satisfy anyone in your life

if you’re looking for a fun stocking stuffer, we’ve also got sticker packs

a GRUEL spoon charm

wear it on a chain, put it on your keys, use it at the cafe, bring it to the club. it’s the perfect multi-purpose tool to gift someone special this year

magnetic carrot scissors

stick them on the fridge for easy access while chopping spring onions, opening packets and what have you. these ones are v cute but they also have similar, sliiiightly less cute ones at daiso for ¼ of the price

expensive beaded coasters

look, these are cheap by saloon standards and if they keep rings off the coffee table then maybe they’re worth it? also looks like a fun item to fidget with – design and entertainment in one

bird lemon press

every single fucking person has the same yellow enamel lemon squeezer they stole from an old sharehouse. be different (gift different). get this one

stainless steel shells

one time frankie and I did an event at manze where we had to clean and sanitise 30+ oyster shells by hand. if only we’d known about these

love the look of them piled with lokum (even if a little off-theme). I like to a little peanut butter and a little yoghurt into a paste sometimes. I think they’d be good for that too, both in size and texture (with the ridges of the shell helping to de-clump the pb)

Subscribe now

I’m stressed bc I’m way behind on this (even though no one but me is enforcing it being monthly)

I’ve been too busy writing and working and podcasting and making this zine while trying to see friends and stretch and clean my bathroom and wash my hair and sleep and remember to take deep breaths (anyone else have this problem?)

how does anyone do it? fr fr

what would I be or mean if I didn’t do absolutely the most? it’s a scary but tempting thought. and in the spirit of that, I’m gonna make this the last culture diet ‘til the new year. but lucky for you, it’s jam-packed with lots of fun things coming up (if your sched is not already full enough)

here you are, happy holidays

• the carnation team are taking over gerald’s bar

• milk tea brands are writing fan-fic on receipts

• rosie grant (aka @ghostly.archive) has written a book about her gravestone recipe collection

• the og creator of dubai chocolate has moved on to something new – introducing abu dhabi chocolate

• menulog joins the growing number of international food tech brands exiting australia

NOV

• chew the fat by GRUEL - thurs 20 nov at the alderman - $10 - $20

• brew bar by atom research space - sat 22 nov at sneak peek space - FREE*

• ydsnd pop-up by immortal fate - sat 22 nov at top floor gallery - FREE (including food)

• gays who garden workshop by we eatin good, fenton farmhouse + playte - sun 23 nov at fenton - FREE

• seeds for a just peace by just food collective w/ food by palestinian chef aheda - tues 25 nov at schoolhouse studios + thurs 27 nov at borderlands cooperative - $16.50 - $55

• looking for alibrandi screening by club dvd - thurs 27 nov at milney’s - $35

• art + design market by roundabout w/ cafewuwu - sat 29 nov at sneak peek space - FREE*

• fried chicken pop-up by chickyboi - sat 29 + sun 30 nov at palomino - FREE*

• manze’s fourth birthday - sun 30 nov at manzé (long lunch) + boire (party) - $75 (I think?) for lunch, FREE* for the party

• poodle patio party w/ food by frozen cola - sun 30 nov at poodle - $10*

DEC

• next wave end of year party feat. food by my name chef - wed 3 dec at next wave - FREE*

• christmas market w/ food by buttcrack_baby, clothes, zines + more - fri 12 dec at high note - FREE*

• xmas party by love sensation - sat 13 dec at bell city takeaway - $30 (including food)

• senti by it’s our table + lumen people - sun 14 dec at lumen - $125

• cookie swap by better now bakes + squidsrulesok - sun 14 dec at balam balam place - $20 (proceeds go to palestinian + first nations mutual aid)

* food / drinks available for purchase

• maiz y cacao mole + pollo tamal (cbd) - i’ve been long awaiting mexican food in melbourne like they do it here. allegedly a customer came into their former location claiming they were “inauthentic” b/c they don’t serve hard shell tortillas – that says enough. if only they knew what they were missing – a tender cornmeal tamal surrounded by a moat of housemade “wedding mole”, a true labour of love. get around it

• lucky foodie meal set (cbd) - cost of living, who? saying a set could easily feed 2-3 would be triggering, but I *will* say that ayce rice + takeaway containers mean you can easily stretch your meal here. mixed plates cost $10.99 (two dishes) or $12.99 (three) but in the late afternoon and evening, they are half off. $5.50 for a full-ass meal? even macca’s can’t beat that

• otakoi varenyky (windsor) - as melbourne’s first and only ukrainian restaurant, otakoi has set the bar very high. the dining experience is slightly camp between the cube of bread and salt on arrival and the ornate ceramic chalices and the traditional ukrainian uniforms but there’s an earnestness about it all that keeps it from straying into theme restaurant territory. and unlike many theme restaurants (looking at you, witches in britches), the food is excellent

• bottari corn dog (cbd) - “corn dog” is actually a misnomer here. the usual corn batter is swapped for what is essentially a hot jam doughnut but instead of jam, there’s a squiggle of tomato sauce… and a sausage. I don’t ever need to eat this again, but I’m grateful for the experience. eating in a former kt mart is also kinda cool

• k5 kona ube matcha (cbd) - hidden in rmit of all places, this spot makes a great specialty matcha that doesn’t cost $10+. I know ube in this format is kinda a scam but I like the colours (purple and green, the hues of the australian landscape)

• beit siti breakfast sofra (coburg) - I arrived with no booking like a loser and owner rahaf graciously found a space for me despite the (warranted!) lunch rush. $25 gets you labneh + two types of cheese + pickles + stewed tomato + walnut-stuffed eggplant (!!!) + hommus with foul + bread + zeit & za’atar *and* insight into palestinian foodways. can’t beat it

• juju’s deli cheeseburger (thornbury) - I won’t go as far as to say this is the next charrd burger, as I have not tried the charrd burger, but I do find it amusing that juju’s is following a similar mediterranean restaurant to burger trajectory (they also own lebanese restaurant esme next door). if I could change one thing about this burg, it would be the bread and butter pickles (dill forever!) but otherwise it’s a standout burger that you won’t have to wait as long in line for (for now)

• taqueria sin nombre brisket taco (cbd) - I know, I know, I just waxed poetic about the plight of mexican food in melbourne, but fusion has its time and place. this cheese and brisket-topped flour tortilla taco is about as gringo as it gets, but I have no shame. people contain multitudes and this is fucking delicious

• home souv beef souv with the lot (box hill) - this place has been on my radar for years, I tell you, years – ever since rosheen kaul1 casually mentioned “chinese kebab” and my ears lit up. I finally strayed from my box hill fave blissful station to try it and I was not disappointed. kinda gives burrito meets 90s-style health food wrap, stuffed with five types of chewy chilled dishes (seaweed, black fungus, etc.) and your choice of meat. I wanted to go for lamb to honour the souv side of the equation but detoured for beef so I could share with anna2

• beautiful jim key brown rice congee (brunswick) - the whole congee cafe trend is a bit tired imo but I will make an exception for bjk, even if I don’t like their name. ‘how good can a congee be’, I wondered? in it’s purest form, not sure. but when hungover, splashed with chilli oil and dotted with an egg, it was transcendent

• le pub egg muffin (cbd) - this is arguably the “best” thing on the menu, though I convinced anna3 to indulge me and get the marrow-stabbed oxtail + snail pie (cute *and* scary, she’s just like me) and the beef liver with cabbage + mash (massive and good [to me] but very much an acquired taste) and the beetroot + confit pistachio + asparagus (anna4 doesn’t like asparagus, I don’t like beetroot). all that being said, le pub is great and I’m the asshole. sorry, anna5

• torori warabi mochi (cbd) - I can take or leave regular mochi – warabi mochi is where it’s at (made from kudzu, the invasive vine that grew over everything in north carolina). this place is a chain but the quality is pretty good considering, and I’m personally just glad that the centreway arcade has some life again

the sun is shining, the days are lengthening and my seasonal depression was finally lifting until I found a mouse in my house the other day

now, every time I start to get paranoid about him coming back, I imagine ratatatouille sitting on my head helping me cook dinner and I feel a little bit better

even though deep down I know that’s completely unrealistic…

because I never cook at home. I’m pretty sure I’m making less money than ever right now (as I said, frugal bitch tips incoming!) and spending more than ever but I can’t stop won’t stop because I’m investing in memories and socialising is good for mental health

so invest in your own mental health and bookmark last month’s top spots / save your energy because, after a brief bit of burnout, we’re coming back with a few more (low cost) events before EOY

now on to your diet…

• scott pickett’s restaurant group entered administration following the news that his sorrento eatery was changing hands

• ice cream’s most iconic duo broke up after the company was repeatedly silenced for speaking up about gaza

• speaking of, the nyt1 allegedly stole THE jeni of jeni’s ice cream’s recipe

• a24 (yes, the production company) has opened a restaurant

• over 900 starbucks to close in the us and canada thanks (though they deny it) to gaza boycotts – and apparently domino’s has faced a similar fate here2

OCT

• pink bloc dinner by pink bloc - wed 1 oct at shop bao ngoc - FREE

• project 02 by ivy rc - fri 3 oct at crooked drinks - FREE

• frugal canteen by rmit feat. too many great people to list but go check it out! - sat 4 oct at rmit - FREE

• fleet wine tasting - fri 10 oct at leonardo’s - FREE*

• mongolian feast by charles duan - sun 12 oct at samuel pepys - FREE*

• sweet seasons by cookbook club naarm - sun 12 oct at urbanstead - $5

• feast for good by welcome merchant feat. sebastian pasinetti + egyptian tummies - sun 12 oct at fento farmhouse - $85

• okinawa food festa week - 15 - 19 oct at papirica - FREE*

• TTT 004 by the table theory - sat 18 oct at secret location - $60

• nanbu night market by nanbu yes - sat 25 oct at schoolhouse studios - FREE*

• service rewritten by table talks - sun 26 oct in carlton - $125

* food / drinks available for purchase

• red cliff sauerkraut fish soup (cbd) - if you share my penchant for tang, this dish is perfect – a holy trifecta of sour and salty and spicy. but if you don’t, there’s plenty more to try – stinky tofu that’s actually stinky (puts other local iterations to shame), the sleeper hit milky winter melon + pork + corn soup, and an oversized bowl of not-too-sweet tomato egg spiked with loofah. need room for a larger group? hit their sibling red chilli house

• serendib hopper buffet (north melb) - their northcote location has sadly closed but the kingsbury3 og (formerly a fish ‘n’ chipper before the owners realised the sri lankan specials were more popular) is still going strong. visit on weekends for hoppers, or any day for shitty in a good way sri lankan ribbon cake and light as air passionfruit mousse

• breakfast hola douha + pork bun + tea egg set (cbd) - for $17, this combo can’t be beat and apparently I’m not the only one who thinks so – had to wait 15 mins for a table at 10am on a wed. I didn’t try the soy milk but it comes in a bowl with free unlimited refills, as if you need another reason to visit

• pontian club skordalia with pumpkin (collingwood) - been obsessed w this garlic-bomb of a potato mash since lavinia and I made it at capers4. this iteration is a standout – esp thanks to the sweet-savoury pairing of roasted pumpkin. add a chicken steak and you have a perfect meal #1, then get a bread loaf to soak up all the chicken sauce for meal #2

• al kababjii mixed shawarma (coburg) - at 9:30pm on a tuesday, this place was heaving. one bite of the chicken + lamb shawarma and I got why. no hummus on this one (sad) even though it appears in the skewer wraps, but the (perfectly acidic) toum + tahini made up for it. just wish I could have added chilli but maybe that’s flying too close to the sun

• na he bistro beef passionfruit hot pot (windsor) - one time I had chicken passionfruit hotpot and thought it was some new wave fusion. then I went to windsor’s hottest new restaurant na he and realised it’s a yunnanese classic (or at least passionfruits are). same goes for rose, wine, pu’er, cheese, butter and wild mushrooms – all featured on the menu here. if you need a reason to hit the southside, this is it

• yang thai lunch pack (st kilda) - and if you need another reason, THIS is it. if you haven’t been yet, what are you doing? the chicken is perfecly seasoned, the som tum is made to order, the ketchup is spiked with tamarind and the strip it’s in is iconic (rip lentils)

• saadi idli (cbd) - thrilled to see melbourne’s fave pop-up couple find a permanent home. the former sunda space is much the same – a perfect blank canvas for an impressive offering that draws from around india. lots of great dishes but my faves were spins on classics - nutty almond barfi with apple and pakora served in yoghurt sauce and that fluffy, slightly sour idli with spiced carrots and the most perfect crown of chives

it doesn’t have a clear structure nor flow. my editors would tear it apart, chew it up until coated in a glossy layer of spit, then bird-feed it into my mouth as I sat on my knees, tongue out, ready to papier-mâché it into something usable

until I became so confused on how to restructure that I’d scrap it

I’ve sat with this for days, maybe weeks, trying to think of how to reframe or add context without making it too long or boring and nothing felt right so I’m publishing as is ‘cause there’s something cool about that to me? like why give it a clean “point”? why put the most engaging part at the start?

the way we speak irl (or at least the way I do) is not linear, often jumping around in a way that may make sense in some languages but not “ours”, starting a story before interrupting myself with a verbal footnote before picking up where I left off, more or less

and I can get into writing that mirrors that. not full tao lin endless stream of consciousness but something similarly fluid and crude1 so here’s my unpolished draft

though not the original intention of this sub, it’s evolved into is a chance to peel back the curtain on life as a food writer

which does put me in the privileged position of, at times, receiving free2 meals

[this is something I want to create more transparency around while also being afraid to discuss it because of its many implications and how it may make me look but yolo]

said freebies are non-cash-transferable, mind you – they don’t pay my bills nor contribute to my stagnant super – but they add appeal to the modest income (and constant anxiety) of a freelance writer and give me a more well-rounded understanding of the industry, allowing me to experience venues I may not otherwise

they’ve also made me completely reframe the value of food, monetarily and otherwise

when left to my own devices, I can lean cheap + low effort – always hunting down a deal // happy to make do with tinned beans and freezer meals that I stow away like a squirrel hoards nuts and a grandma hoards sugar packets from the cafe3 which, by contrast, make the meals out feel more special (and hopefully help offset their jacked-up sodium, etc.4)

I know a lot of you are the same. for every market-going gourmand, there’s a cheaper buy miles enthusiast or maybe someone who straddles both sides5

I’m constantly asked about my favourite restaurants, expecting me to say something like gimlet6 or france-soir7 or, if they can see I’m n0t LiKe tHe 0tHeR gIrLs, soi 388

the truth is that when I *do* eat out for non-work purposes, it’s often at places sub $20 a head that probably aren’t being covered by food media. I’m not saying that in a clout-chasy, anti-broadsheet kind of way (more on that in a future sub); I just appreciate the humble meals as much as (if not more than) the “fancy” ones

every writer and eater has a hierarchy when choosing a venue – food vs price vs ambiance vs service vs vibe vs novelty vs substance. I prioritise the story. sometimes I’m drawn more to the idea of a place than the place itself. I like to intellectualise it, chew on the theory, dive into the context – that’s what feeds me

when the food is good, it’s a bonus. that’s what turns a good experience into a great one, for me, and makes the spend worthwhile. I’m not anti fine-dining – I just need there to be purpose. imo the scene is becoming riddled with nouveau riche venues with no substance, which makes the food fall flat no matter how well-executed

operators who are in it for business and not passion; who are trying to chase trends or pseudo-originality without meaning

etta is an example of the flipside – expensive, no doubt, but with clear intent and innovation (and striking execution) that makes me happy to shell out to dine there. it’s a clear example of a concept done well. there’s no arguing it’s a great restaurant

but some of my other favourites are a harder sell. praising the merits of decennium in spite of its 3.5 star google rating or explaining why the quarter is the only acceptable cafe on degraves is futile, it’s thankless, it’s just vibes. you either get it or you don’t

my approach is not failsafe. the cracks start to show when you form your own stories, leaning too hard on novelty, eating for the bit, reframing the truth until it swallows you and next thing you know you’re spending $28 on a shitty benedict just to play tourist for your own amusement

to everyone getting foamy caps at their local tradie cafe rn – are you really enjoying it?

don’t get me wrong – as I made very clear earlier, I’m no snob. I genuinely enjoy airplane food. I can get into some domino’s when the mood strikes (even if it contains anti-foaming agent) – just call me a young, femme, non-asian, non-abusive dave chang

I think that in an era where our consumption is largely driven by aesthetic and perception, it’s freeing to reject that (though the anti-aesthetic is an aesthetic in itself – a tangent for another time)

but I’ve seen how food capitalism mutates. the joke becomes real and suddenly small business gets crushed under ironic consumption (see the diet coke wave of 2020 that just won’t die and the gen z chain-restaurant revival in the us)

this is all under the assumption that we’re putting that much thought into our dining choices at all. I understand that for many, there is no true choice. food and dining are rooted in price, practicality, convenience, access and, again, priority

some people purposefully spend less on food to divert their money elsewhere – necessities, or maybe clothes or cars or travel or whatever. which is fine, live your truth

others just eat whatever they feel drawn to in the moment – intuitive, spontaneous, carfree, not needing it to be perfect (whatever that means), not overintellectualising, choosing with heart over head and moving on, not being annoyed the rest of the day if they make the wrong choice and the food is mid

or maybe… they’re also just convinving themselves it was worth it after all

as some of you may be aware, julia and kyla and I are currently working on a zine (launching late this year - learn more here and here and submit here!)

it grew out of a craving for 1. something tangible and 2. a platform for voices and ideas that don’t fit mainstream food media. for us, that means letting people write however they want – no rigid grammar, no set structure, no prescribed tone

with one exception: clear guidelines for writing about food with sensitivity; acknowledging its social, political and cultural weight; dismantling the eurocentric lens that dominates australian food media. in my experience, it’s usually left up to individual writers (and maybe a good editor) to handle this with care – it rarely, if ever, comes from the top

so we’ve been working away on these guidelines behind the scenes, bringing in outside voices to help make them sharper and more useful. in a perfect world, every australian food publication would have something like this (and ideally dedicated anti-racism editors). i’m not holding my breath, but it feels especially urgent after this weekend’s protests

it’s both shocking and not to see so much open racism and xenophobia here. i know it’s always been present, often hiding in plain sight, much like in my own home country

but what surprised me event more were the post-rally food choices: yum cha and banh mi

the irony would almost be funny if it weren’t so ugly – a clear disconnect between the communities these people hate and the roles they1 play in their2 lives

on sunday night i was at yulongfu seated near a couple who – if I were to speculate – seemed the protest-going type. he stayed glued to his phone the whole meal while she berated the very lovely waiter, sent back a dish, told him to pass her criticism to the kitchen, and insisted it “wasn’t worth the money”

why was she there in the first place? because racists will somehow justify patronising migrant-owned restaurants yet refuse to value their labour or humanity. this disconnect informs how many australians approach food and runs through a lot of local food media – underscoring the importance of platforming diverse voices and fresh perspectives (in ways that feel considered and genuine)

i wasn’t born here, and most of my friends or their parents weren’t either. food connects us to culture and memory, but it can also carry pain when it’s misunderstood or reduced

all this is to say: if you have thoughts, ideas, or perspectives that could shape our guidelines, i’d love to hear them

and now, onto september’s culture diet

• food writer nikki miller ka’s great piece on the racial dynamics of dining and criticism

• kewpie mayo turns 100 - here’s a look at its history

• mukbang is back – and the ozempic era may play a role

• a look at australia’s tallest restaurants – some receive orders via chairlift

• future dietary guidelines may put sustainability front and centre

• tassie’s unique climate means better, faster whisky

SEPT

• coffee + house party by unfiltered - every sat in sept at palace - FREE*

• pipitapan #28 by mooanitnit - sun 7 sept at hidden location - $100

• food film screening by les blank films with little projector co - tues 9 sept at balam balam place - FREE

• nikau wine release - fri 12 sept at cathedral - FREE*

• bibi’s block party - sat 13 sept at bourke st courtyard - $37 - 47

• viet kieu cookbook club by cookbook club naarm - sun 14 sept at anchovy - $6

• wine party by pool x ultra culture - sat 20 sept at uc - FREE*

* food / drinks available for purchase

• inuman3 sago’t blind pig (cbd) - it’s the colour. it’s the creaminess. it’s the strength. it’s the sago (and vodka, tanduay, ube, bergamot, coconut milk, cacao). it’s the additional shot on the side to top it up. everything about this drink is perfect, even if I lost a few tapioca pearls that froze to the ice cube. also on the down low, they’re on eat club for 35% off

• queensberry st caff billingsgate (north melb) - this bacon + scallop + black pudding roll makes a case for surf ‘n’ turf for breakfast. it’s rich, hearty and presumably full of iron – a true triple threat and probably the second-most-popular ig post I’ve ever made (this is the first)

• la bohemia pastel de choclo (collingwood) - I usually avoid eating on smith st at all costs but I made an exception for the new inner city outpost of the noble park eatery my chilean friends swear by. the completo wasn’t my fave (maybe cause we got the vegan one) but the pastel de choclo was incredible. savoury mushrooms and olives topped with sweet corn gruel. perfect

• wang’s crispy pancake fantuan (cbd) - behold, a new fantuan has risen and it is beautiful - shaped a little like a tamale and made with purple rice + your choice of protein (I got taiwanese sausage). I recommend taking the coco bread patty approach and getting a pancake to wrap it up in

• dodam tteok galbi (brunswick east) - I’m a slut for a lunch set and getting my five a day before 1pm. dodam ticks both boxes. the tteok galbi has no tteok but that’s a me problem and it’s still v worth trying

• taco bell cheesy swirl (s yarra) - hear me out - you’re passing through chapel. it’s 3pm and you had an early lunch. you dont’ want to spend much money or ruin dinner and have an appetite only cheese + bread will cure. reminds me of the quesadillas my mom used to make me when I was sick - ultimate comfort food and yes, kind of bland, but you can and should add the (free) hot sauce. expected it on the side but it was added behind the scenes which was even better

• sugarays injeolmi gelato with red bean (cbd) - the tori’s / humble rays team have opened a gelato shop that happens to be vegan but you wouldn’t know it. injeolmi (roasted soybean powder) is one of several great flavours and if you get the waffle cup, you can add a topping for free

• oden assorted oden (cbd) - taiwanese 7-elevens were my gateway to oden and I’ve loved it ever since, but I’ve never had any as good as this. choose from chicken or duck broth plus your choice of ingredients – the housemade prawn ball with edamame and pops of tobiko is a must and the daikon + foie gras is a wild card that works

not *just* for old people and not *always* expensive, cruises can actually be a very fun, covenient and economical way to travel – especially around island countries like nippon. in this case, the cost per night (inclusive of all food and transit) was cheaper than most tokyo hotels and allowed me to see way more cities than I would have if organising my own land travel

like shizuoka (up there with uji as one of the biggest matcha regions) and hakodate (a picturesque fishing town in hokkaido) and aomori (known for its 1200+ year-old tradition of illuminated nebuta floats and its apples)

if you’re not heading to any of those spots any time soon, though, don’t disregard this piece – because I’ve also included spots to find the most memorable dishes from these cities - even the real niche ones – in melbourne

ps, I’ve added a bonus section on my one day in busan at the end. read on for where to get your hands on some hot hotteok

☕ cafe / 🍺 bar / 🍙 snack / 🍔 casual / 💸 cheap / 💎 expensive / 🎯 must-visit

* multiple locations

YOKOHAMA

🎯 junkaikaku konkan – one of many large, lazy-susanesque cantonese-leaning eateries in yokohama chinatown1. you probably can’t go wrong with any but this one’s off the beaten path, gave us free mango pudding and does a knockout mapo dofu – one of the must-try dishes of the region (so is shark fin but I have ethical qualms)

• order: mapo dofu, mapo eggplant, fried rice, scallop + vermicelli, peking duck, every dumpling

• if you like this, try: supper inn, bamboo house, west lake, chine on paramount

🍙 rouishin – panda-themed souvenir shop with panda (and other animal)-shaped baozi

• order: orange pig braised pork bun, orange panda spicy meat bun

• if you like this, try: tak hing, dong bun bun, foodao, son in law

☕ caravan coffee* - kissaten chain that started in yokohama / pretty much the only place open for coffee and breakfast at 10am (!)

• order: breakfast set (coffee, egg + plain or pizza toast), purin, coffee jelly

• if you like this, try: pizza toast from taiyo sun, toast set/purin from le bajo, coffee “jelly tutu” from calere, pizza toast/coffee jelly/purin from sora cafe

🍺 cocktail bar nemanja - moody hidden cocktail bar named after and themed around serbian violinist nemanja radulović

• order: can’t remember what this cocktail was and menu is always rotating but all of them seem pretty good

• if you like this, try: don’t know anywhere that fits the brief but in nemanja’s honour, you could hit chevapi grill / balkan fresh burek

Read more

an era of retro revivalism and millennial sensibilities

barbershops that serve free beer and cafes that don’t serve milk

refurbed warehouses, boutique bike shops, craft distilleries

places with “brother” or “king” or “captain” in the name. or “wolf” or “fox” or “ampersand”

a concept based on a concept based on a concept, eventually so muddled and disparate from its origins that it became something else entirely

window decals with silhouettes of top-knotted men – a caricature inspired by a parody of a reality in places most of the owners had never been (brooklyn)

doesn’t matter, though, because every city is brooklyn. or it can be, if it tries hard enough. we may never have brownstones or lena dunham or coney island but eventually trend-savvy entrepreneurs of narrm discovered the most brooklyn thing of all – bodegas

initially designed to sell “comfort food” to puerto rican factory workers1, the bodega is defined by oxford as “a small grocery shop, especially in a spanish-speaking neighbourhood”. in spanish, it may also mean “wine cellar” or “storeroom”

but, as you can imagine in a country with a roughly 1% latam population, the term was interpreted loosely

queue bodega underground, the semi-hidden chinatown taco bar, or bodega deli, a condiment brand run by an aussie chef who spent some time in ny, selling the likes of “butter chicken spice” and “japanese curry spice” and chilli crisp

there’s also the bodega, a “boutique wine bar” on dromana’s main strip and stanley street bodega (perhaps closest to the mark), a collingwood cafe and deli with a subtle chilean influence

all referencing by something yet largely divorced from what it actually is. meanwhile, right under our noses, something more akin to true bodega culture has been developing this whole time

case a – prahran convenience

it may not sell hot food / tobacco nor have cats, three common bodega signifiers, yet pc is one of the most bodega-coded places in melbourne

it’s open 24 hours and overflowing with unpriced goods (bodegas move stock too quickly to bother with pricing). the range spans specialty vegan cheese to frozen indian snacks to latin american staples and american2 junk food. and then there’s the shelves and shelves of protein powder and pre-workout. they just need some black market weed gummies (probably not a long shot given how freely astrid seems to give them out) and they’d be an honourary bodeg

case b – select market (american & persian grocery)

tucked in the back streets of southbank, this spot also fits the brief. the fact that they sell hookahs and phone accessories gives them extra bodega cred, as does the juxtaposition of “american”, latin american AND persian goods

in new york, following shifts in the dominant migrant communities of certain neighbourhoods, bodegas are increasingly owned by people from west asia – largely yemen – and stocking goods catering to their communities

case c – karmart

the tobacco, the takis, the owner who seems to befriend every customer – everything about karmart screams bodega. but most notably, the hot food. they may not let you get your hostess cupcake the ocky way, but they do have solid-looking lamb samosas and biryani. and I guess if you really wanted to, you could crumble the hostess on top (though I think flaming hot cheetos would be a better combo)

there are plenty more examples where this came from – these are just to set the tone

one may see them as an evolution of the milk bar, a format that was largely before my time (I’ve only been around for the revival)

but a born-and-bred melbourne local tells me there’s a clear distinction. “milk bars are so normalised here that we don’t see [bodegas] as the same thing”

much like bodegas, they define milk bars as corner stores built in suburban area, allowing people to purchase grocery staples outside of standard hours and/or without leaving the neighbourhood. and much like bodegas, milk bars are often migrant-owned (greeks3 kicked them off and were a large driving force even once ownership started to diversify. chinese migrants seeking visa pathways also helped keep the format alive)

one key difference, however, is the stock. with windows covered in ads for paul’s milk and streets ice cream (on-brand), milk bars are a hyperlocal tribute to australian industry (mostly milk, bread and sweets) while bodegas, though undoubtedly american, are also extremely international with an emphasis on imported goods

and the new wave of “bodegas” launching here are too – a key difference from the corner stores that came before them. they’re otherwise hard to define beyond a place that stocks a bit of everything – milk, confections, canned and jarred goods, etc – and is likely immigrant-owned. but it’s easy to define what they’re not:

• a grocery store – even a small or independent one. select iga and foodworks may have bodega vibes but they don’t count. bodegas are, by nature, owner-operated and unassociated with larger brands

• a convenience store – it’s hard to articulate the exact difference, but there is one, trust me. my local source says maybe it’s the fact that bodegas lean into abundance with teetering stacks of cans and over-stuffed shelves (see: prahran convenience) while convenience stores posing as bodegas are overpriced and understocked (“empty cause they sell takis for $17”)

melbourne bodegas may be distinct from their american counterparts. they may not have quite the same community appeal nor cultural standing. but the fact that I’m prioritising these spots over the grocery duopoly because they offer something coleworths doesn’t makes me think maybe, with time, they will

I’m not talking about listicles or whatever; those can die if they need to. but real, tangible stories – particularly ones that centre people – have a different kind of weight. they carry subjects’ time, trust, and emotional labour, repackaged for a 5-minute read. fleeting, sure, but too valuable to be wasted

as I’ve mentioned before, the beauty of substack is being able to write whatever the fuck I want (though feedback is great! lmk what you want to read)

this piece on kababi didn’t make it to publication and although it’s a few months old now, I figured it’s still worth sharing because 1) the venue got a bit of media coverage when it first opened but it’s backstreet location means it easily flies under the radar, 2) it’s about time we celebrate k(a/e)b(a/o)bs beyond the doner and 3) given isr*el’s ongoing genocide in gaza and their recent attacks on iran, where owner hamed allahyari is from, it’s more pertinent than ever

since moving here in 2012, he’s built a life and a social enterprise, written a cookbook, appeared on telvision, established a strong hospitality presence and helped to give persian food greater exposure within the australian culinary landscape

food is one of the most accessible gateways to understanding people, place and politics. are curious eaters more tolerant? I can’t find statistics to say definitively, but I’ve seen firsthand how dining fosters education and, ultimately, humanises headlines – and I’d say hamed has played an integral role in that. now to the story…

Hamed Allahyari was around nine when he tried his first kabab1, piling into the family car for the 40-minute drive from his home to a Shamshiri restaurant franchise in downtown Tehran, Iran.

“They only served one dish, kabab koobideh,” Hamed says of the beef kofta skewers, chargrilled over open flames. “The taste is still in my mouth.”

Years later2, he channelled his love for Iranian food into social enterprise cafe Salamatea, which opened in central Sunshine in 2019, serving homestyle Persian dishes inspired by his mum’s cooking. His latest venture, Kababi, is an homage to the chargrilled meats that dominate Iran’s restaurant scene.

Kababs had always been part of his plan, but Salamatea’s small kitchen couldn’t accommodate the setup he wanted. That changed when he took over a former burger takeaway shop in Sunshine’s industrial area, outfitting the space with a charcoal barbecue, pale green walls and a chandelier reminiscent of 1990s Tehran.

For ease of service, Salamatea’s original location has closed and joined Kababi under one roof, serving dishes from the original venue alongside a range of kababs.

Kabab koobideh, “the number one most popular kabab in Iran,” according to Hamed, is a fixture of the new menu. His version is made by blending beef, lamb, onion and spices including sumac and saffron in a meat grinder, then kneading the mixture by hand for 10 to 15 minutes until it reaches the perfect sticky consistency to wrap around skewers and cook over charcoal.

“The style I’m doing is from Bonab, a city in the north of Iran,” says Hamed. “In Tehran, we have so many Bonab restaurants because their kabab is big and thick, with over 300 grams of meat on it.”

Other menu highlights include kabab torsh, another northern Iranian specialty made with backstrap lamb marinated for 24 hours in pomegranate molasses, walnuts, saffron and a herb called golpar. There’s also a vegetarian alternative featuring king oyster mushrooms with Hamed’s secret ingredient, Persian thyme.

The kababs are served just as he remembers them, with saffron rice, salad, chargrilled vegetables and mast-o musir, a tangy shallot and labneh dip. Diners can also opt for their protein wrapped in lavash, sourced from the bakery next to Salamatea’s former site.

Hamed was drawn to the new venue after noticing a trend of cafes and restaurants opening in industrial pockets like Port Melbourne. “I knew it was a big risk, but it works,” he says.3

As with Salamatea, Kababi follows a strong social mission. Hamed employs refugees, asylum seekers and new immigrants – many of whom struggle to secure jobs due to language barriers or lack of local experience.

“Many immigrants have problems in their first few months here because of their accent,” he says. “I’m very happy to give them their first job in Australia, train them and teach them the rules.”

His ultimate vision extends beyond just kababs. Drawing on his experience working in a bakery in Iran, he hopes to turn the back storage space into a commercial kitchen where he’ll make baked goods like bread and pistachio croissants alongside his signature Persian love cake.