We finished the bullshit of moving; my parents took a truckload of my things home and my brother and I drove a U-Haul to NYC while Cesi drove her Subaru Forester named Franklin. We stuck around the city for the week before heading back to the trees of our childhood; a little taste of the Amtrak life before going back and forth from Philly and New York for the indefinite future. As far as I’m concerned it will be good reading and writing time, much more comfortable than the bus.

On one of our final evenings in Worcester, Cesi and I decided to go to a last show in the rust belt city we love. Lefty Parker was in town playing the Boyce St. Lounge in Auburn with Lady Queen Paradise and my friend Morning Son just a few nights before we left. We arrived to a peaceful backyard with only a handful of people, including the artists themselves. They delayed the show a bit hoping for a few stragglers, but the crowd stayed mostly the same, small but attentive, ready for some healing whispers and screams.

An Evening @ Boyce St. Lounge

What happens in the woods of Central Massachusetts on a given night is anyone’s guess. Today there was a gathering in a backyard with a fire that needed tending and a stack of wood operating as a backdrop for a glamorous stage.

We waited patiently, in conversation until Lady Queen Paradise began the show. The experiences shared felt like a collage of artistic expressions; pushing and pulling us into their emotional landscape. I picture fields of wildflowers and willow trees sitting where cement has yet to reach or has yet been broken down and breached. After using a cassette player to playback a recording of themselves they proceeded with a rendition of the traditional tune, Shenandoah. I have many fond memories as child visiting my grandmother in West Virginia and that song will alway brings me back there. I appreciated their willingness to toy with the melody while honoring the songs core, I felt wrapped up in the embrace of their voice, holding on to each breath.

Act 1 LOVE

A reading that was sung followed by songs that could be screamed

Hat and bandana come off, sunglasses too

Laying bare their perceptive center

They poured water over their head

Can a volunteer come up and read one of the cards on stage?

Have no fear.

Act 2 DEATH

Another reading sung

The songs turn toward loss

LQP is not going to leave you bored

I hadn’t seen a performance quite like this in my life.

Lefty Parker came on attempting to get his guitar in tune as the night grew cool and the bugs bit with more bitterness. A few songs passed amidst the nuisance of the bloodsuckers and the neighbor’s duetting dog, before he had an intermission in which we all gathered small sticks, and he led the charge in getting the fire going. He cracked jokes frequently and was less shy than I would’ve imagined from his introspective songs. He played “Ark” and “Illusions” and a bunch I didn’t recognize, each one taking us deeper into the rabbit-hole of his mind. There’s a vulnerability to his writing that makes the songs cut me; they feel honest, fought for, forged through experience. I’d love to see him with a full band to bring out the songs more, but hearing him alone with his scratchy falsetto and charming twang felt like a special secret just between the people present.

Finally, our host, Morning Son came up to close us off with my friend Gerdlie playing viola and fiddle. Peter brought his bright presence to the stage, not shying away from saying how he felt in his gentle but straightforward type of way. Amidst life transition he leans on music, looking for reprieve in his songs while the wheels of life keep turning. He played “Loves No Joke” and “Hampton Breakfast” and some others from his catalogue. His full voice and more traditional songwriting style helped bring things back to the ground in a way that felt calming as we continued to tend the fire. My final show in Worcester for a long time and it sure was a good one. There really is nothing quite like saying so long to a place you’ve gotten to know.

I’ve now been back at my parents in New Hampshire for about a week and I’m playing a show of my own in a few hours for my mother and sister’s open studio event. Home always brings up complex feelings about my place in the world and the cycles we humans find ourselves in, but singing into the breeze on a late morning in August brings a sense of peace to me. Amidst this transition I aim to double down on my dreams. While things around me are particularly uncertain, I’ll act with confidence towards my own growth and fulfillment day after day after day. This is a reminder for anyone who has internal work to tend to, there is no time but the present moment; act now before it’s too late.

Pure Soul - Ajai Kasim with ClayDough and Late4Dinner

I met Ajai through a friend of mine he was dating a handful of years ago. At the time he’d already put out some music but was still figuring out his sound—I liked his energy but didn’t get a clear sense of his artistry till his 2023 release with ClayDough PROLLYSHOULDN’TSTAY. Specifically, the song “FIRESIDE HIGH” had a hold on me. Since then he has been on an absolute run, releasing multiple projects, many music videos, while also being a full on milliner.

Pure Soul spans a wide range of sounds and styles but Ajai maintains his own pocket throughout. As Tierra Whack would say, “[He’s] got a bag inside a bag inside a bag”. I greatly look up to artists voices you can’t mistake for anyone else and Ajai has that to a T. Going from rapping over bouncy bay area beats, to old school soul samples, to straight up indie rock bangers he can hold his own in a ton of different flows—never getting too comfortable but also never forcing it, keeping it feeling forward.

The melodies on this latest work are phenomenal—catchy but not overly derivative, always natural, always moving—Ajai’s vocals in equilibrium with the production from ClayDough and Late4Dinner. This is a trio to be reckoned with, celebrated and studied all at the same time.

You could call Ajai a rapper. You could call Ajai a singer. Maybe even designer, entrepreneur, milliner, creative director, just artist? However one might try to contain him in a word, he builds worlds with creative audacity using every tool he has got. Go listen to Pure Soul I swear it will brighten your day.

Thanks for reading! Hope you’re staying cool as the summer heat starts to hit full force. I’m preparing for a lot of change in my life in the coming months and I look forward to using this space as a means for grounding.

Happy Today - Jeff Parker’s ETA IVtet off International Anthem Recording Co.

This is a great place to start if you are new to listening to jazz—or maybe if you’re stuck on Coltrane and Davis and think it died with them—this record will give you a starting off point that is easily digestible while still holding immense musical depth. Jeff Parker has inspired me for a while now and this record makes me see him (and the whole quartet) in even higher esteem. For myself, and likely many others, Miles Davis’ Kind Of Blue was a very early introduction to the world of jazz. That record takes you for a journey at it’s own pace, able to give you chills and soothe you to tears in mere seconds—it is deeply relatable on an emotional level and I think Happy Today harkens a similar quality. It’s 2 tracks and 44 minutes and every second is sincerely worth your time.

Long Time Coming - Sierra Ferrell off Rounder Records

Sierra is like an old fashioned rounder—hopping trains from Appalachia she found her way to an unprecedented level of stardom. Fusing together sounds ranging from gypsy jazz to bluegrass and country, she goes to a lot of places on her debut album—Long Time Coming. I’m relatively new to her music but was able to latch right on. I listened to this twice in a row on a drive to see me family on Mothers Day, on the drive home I listened to the follow up twice in a row. Her voice is hauntingly beautiful and she always keeps it fresh, certainly someone I’m paying closer attention to now.

At the end of the rainbow
You'll be waiting for me
You said you loved me
But you had to leave
I'm at the end of the rainbow
Where all your love is just for me
You can't help yourself
You give your love away for free

- “At The End Of The Rainbow”

Crayola Circles - Fatboi Sharif and Child Actor off Backwoodz Studioz

At this point anyone who has read anything on here hopefully understands this is basically a Backwoodz Studioz fan-page so you shouldn’t be too surprised to see another of their releases here. Fatboi Sharif is an artist I’ve just begun to catch up to. He is a rapper who’s stylings are often times otherworldly—pulling from horror, psychedelia and vibrant minimalism—he is one of one and impossible to neatly characterize despite my attempt. Child Actor has been one of my favorite producers for a while now, trained as piano player from a young age, he now uses those chops to play out samples—making beats that are alive with feeling and textural richness. Both rooted in hip-hop tradition and always pushing the conversation forward—he is absolutely distinct as a musician, sound designer, and beat-maker. This record feels like a child’s playroom full of frightening fluorescence and memory encrusted mildew, Crayola circles of creativity emblazoned on the walls. Don’t be scared though, they are most gracious hosts.

Fear of the people
Turned the whole world against me
Tortured simply paragraphs
Studied over centuries
Leading out, my airwaves creeping down
Shown as example, tears streaming out
Define tales, erased in my cell
Soul chapter celebrated
Ghost of Jason Mizell (Mizell)

- “Assassination Tapes”

Thanks for reading as usual—not much else to say here. I hope you enjoyed the piece on Jxylen (go check it out if you haven’t yet!), I have another interview I’ll put up before too long, maybe something from a show too, we’ll see what inspires me.

So I asked you what your purpose was you stood there speechless

- “THE RISING”

On December 12th I drove to Providence to see my friend Matt aka Yah'Gift perform alongside a handful of other emcees, a few of which I was vaguely familiar with, a few completely unknown to me. There weren’t more than twenty people there—including the performers themselves—but the energy was inspired and laser-focused on appreciating the music.

After Matt’s set, which was phenomenal, he thanked me for coming. I told him it was inspiring to witness something that felt truly underground, not just because the show was in a basement, but because these were artists still building their foundations. Separately and in conjunction, these young people showed a hunger for artistic realization; all looking to make their mark in an industry that’s dead-set on turning artists into content machines.

Up next was an emcee named Jxylen who I had heard of through my engineering work with our mutual friend TAHA. He was losing his voice but that didn’t deter him from filling the room with an energy that was unmistakably hip-hop. Raw but theatrical in his delivery, he didn’t hold back any punches. Dawned with a scarf of checkered colors draped over his head and a black puffer jacket he moved around the room like he was born to do so. Taking breaks to bring his friends KENZO. and JPTRSMN up—allowing their worlds to interplay with his in a type of cosmic harmony. Unafraid of being one-upped but rather embracing strength in numbers—a natural leader without a doubt.

In February we connected on Substack and I subsequently sent him an email to see if he’d be interested in doing an interview. He was receptive, so we scheduled a time to sit down and get to know each other. Talking to Jxylen, it quickly became clear that rapping is only one area of his artistry. Also adept in photography, design, and creative direction—he is a visionary in the rawest sense of the word. He is not tied to any specific lane but rather committed to unveiling an entire world beyond. On a trajectory one’s not meant to make sense of but rather to follow with faith and aptitude.

I spent the weeks leading up to our conversation listening to and digesting his music as much as possible, taking notes and considering the direction I wanted to take the interview in. Then, about half way through my drive out to Western Mass, I realized I forgot to transfer any of my notes to my phone and I left my computer at home. Luckily, my thoughts were still fresh and I had the rest of the drive to listen to his music and reflect but at that moment I went from feeling properly prepared to essentially winging it in a matter of seconds.

Jxylen being the personable human that he is, helped me feel comfortable and gave thoughtful answers to my, at times, chaotic questioning. For this, I am deeply grateful. I trimmed up the transcript a bit for time and readability, but I didn’t feel the need to do much writing around Jxylen’s words. This is a window into the conversation we had that day, I do hope you enjoy.

G: Do you feel a push and pull between the artistry and business sides of what you’re doing? There’s so much pressure nowadays to monetize yourself and make content you can capitalize on. How do you interact with that?

J: I mean, I have my days when trying to find that balance is complicated. I’ll say that. But I think...I find a certain type of joy in it all. I like the marketing half. I like branding. I like doing that stuff because at the end of the day, I’m building worlds. When I’m making music, I want to build a world where I’m bringing people in. You hear that in the sonics and everything else. The business half is not as heavy as many would think it is. Keeping up with everything does get overwhelming but I think I have it structured enough so it doesn’t put too much pressure on me. There’s still a bit of a push and pull, but I manage to find joy in it all.

G: Sure. Sometimes people drift away from their original message when they get into the marketing side, but there’s a consistency in how you present yourself—the website, the album artwork—all of it all feels cohesive. I imagine it’s a lot to balance.

J: You know what I will say is what makes the business half easier is I’m being authentically me throughout the whole process of everything that I’m creating. So, I’m not thinking, ‘Oh, I’m trying to do this for a money grab.’ I’m like, ‘Yo, I’m going to create and do what I want to do and people that like it, like it. And if you don’t, it’s fine.’ The people that will align, will align, but I’m only here to give out shit that’s really me. I’m literally here for the art. Obviously, business needs to be in order or people will try to fuck you over, but I only make decisions that make sense when they make sense. No rushing.

They watching you? They watching you?

Don’t get into your own way, you stopping you

Focus on your own lane, theres lots to do

- “EXILE”

G: You were talking about collaborating with people and how you have your own process and that can sometimes cause friction or not work with certain people. What’s that experience been like?

J: I deal with it all the time. I think as I’ve grown more comfortable with myself, me being 26, turning 27 soon, I’ve gotten to a point where...I just care about alignment. You know, I don’t want to do anything that does not feel right. I’ve been creating my whole life. So, I’m already approaching the creative world in the sense of this is where I found my freedom. This is where I found my place to be liberated in a time and place where there ain’t too many spaces where you can be liberated, you know? So, if I’m going to enter this special place that I’ve been creating my whole life, I only want to do that with people when it makes sense.

G: What was your experience building in Springfield? Overlooked music scene, especially for hip-hop, so in terms of making connections, collaborators—how’s that been? You seem to have a lot of friends and people that you work side by side with, did that come about pretty naturally?

J: I’ve always been a natural when it comes to connecting with folks because I’m a person that sees the greatness in people, whether they recognize it within themself or not. I’m not too much of a person that’s like, ‘Oh, you have to reach a certain standard to be in my presence.’ For me it’s more, ‘Yo, if you here for the love and positivity and you here being yourself, being authentically you, you could be around me.’ And I think since I lead with that energy, I tend to attract a lot of people that are comfortable being around me. I don’t know what it is, but I’m always stumbling across other creatives that are great, and I always thought that was beautiful. It’s been always easy for me, no matter where I go, whether it’s in New York, back in Georgia, anywhere I go. I’m always trying to tap in with people. And I don’t lead with the whole ‘We got to work.’ It’s more, ‘Yo, if I rock with you, I rock with you.’ But yeah, I think I create an open enough space to let people be comfortable here and I think that attracts a lot of people.

G: Totally. Do you feel your connection to Atlanta, or to Georgia, comes through in the music? I mean, I can hear the East coast clear as day, but do you think there’s a through line to the Atlanta scene or more so in your actual experiences?

J: I would say more through my experiences. Music-wise, probably not…I never thought too much about that. I mean, I know with my experiences being out in Atlanta and the creative scene out there, seeing how things are run definitely shifted my perspective of what community and all of that means. But in terms of the music, maybe a tad bit, because their music is more up-beat. They like turning up, you know, and moving the crowd. Maybe just a tad bit, I would say, on that. But overall, I’ve been very much East Coast to my core, and it’s going to be that way forever.

G: You had a strong ability to connect with the audience when I saw you. Your beats are big, they don’t sound trap-like, but Atlanta’s such an important place in hip-hop it’s interesting that you have roots there.

J: It’s funny, because I think...the overview of Atlanta and the South is they’re very much, you know, trap, turn up, turn up, but you’d be surprised how many people out there also really rap. Really rap rap, you know?

G: I bet, I bet. So, was that mostly the community that you built out there? It’s people more in the same lane as you?

J: It’s a melting pot. This is also why I’m very big on if you’re doing something great and I see that I’m cool with it. Because I have people that is into the trappy trap, turn up, turn up. And it’s still artistically there. The creativity is there. It’s still hitting. And you got other folks that still have the Southern style, like OutKast. Still keeping it very lyrical, yet still Southern. But overall, Atlanta, and honestly, I think most major cities I’ve been through, it’s all kinds of people.

G: I mean, you think of New York style rap as slow grimy beats, or whatever, but New York drill was one of the biggest things on the planet for a time and some of that sound came from the South. So, it goes both ways for sure.

J: Living [in Atlanta] opened my mind up. When you’re in the culture and seeing it firsthand, you start having a certain love for it. But I also understand when people have their specific tastes, you know, I think that’s perfectly fine.

Highkey I don’t give a fuck if you don’t like me

The truth hurts the longer you keep hiding from reality

- “HEAVY”

G: What are some of your early memories of listening to or experiencing music?

J: Growing up, my dad’s side of the family is from Barbados, so I grew up with a melting pot of music in the household. I’m getting rap—I’m getting all forms of rap. My granddad’s heavily into soul, he loves Prince, and all of that. You got the Neo soul that was going on as a child too. You had reggae and dancehall because of my dad. Shit I’m trying to think of anything else; overall rap was the focus like we were watching MTV and such. I was taking it all in at the time.

G: What about your first time making music?

J: So, first time making music, I think this is me going into my freshman year of high school. First year, I moved back from Georgia, back up here to Springfield. Mind you, out there, I started, I don’t want to say takin rap serious, but I was seeing, ‘Oh, this is something that’s really special to me.’ Once I moved back, I met one of my closest friends, his name is Dayvii—he’s one of the artists that I be around. Him and I, and a bunch of other friends would link up and create. He had a whole setup at his crib, so we would link up at his and try things out. I wasn’t the best, you know, it took me a while to get at least one song down. Eventually we ended up getting a mentor. This is a close older homie of ours, you know, but somebody to guide us a little bit, you feel me? But he was putting us through some boot camp type shit. Cause he gave us a spot; a first studio spot that’s in the middle of the hood. It’s mad shit going on, houses on the street are getting shot up, but it was a spot—an opportunity. Every weekend we would go there. He put me under the guide of: ‘You should be doing three, five songs a day as long as you’re here. This that and the fourth. Ain’t no food, no nothing in the house. You gotta figure it out. As long as you got a place, use this opportunity.’ And that helped me build discipline with the creating process, you know? So throughout high school, it was the same thing every weekend

G: Is that somebody you still have a good relationship with?

J: Yeah, he’s still cool. Everybody I started this music stuff with, I’m still pretty much cool with and close to. I was just talking to my mentor the other day, actually. Yeah, I’ve grown, and I have my own way of working now but I’m happy that I was taught that level of discipline and getting things done, because now when I need to, I know I can.

G: I’m curious about your ‘Divine Order’ projects. How do they relate to your sense of God and spirituality?

J: In terms of ‘Divine Order’ that whole idea is that things are profoundly orchestrated…I would say I’m playing a role for a bigger purpose that I may not see right now, which would be divine orchestration, you know? But as I’m going through this path, I don’t know what that purpose is. God has me here for a reason. I’m trying to do what I can and speak what I know. For the ‘Divine Order’ series every act has a different focus. And that’s usually whatever is going on in my life. Whether I’m questioning things about what does masculinity and divine masculinity mean? Breaking down the patriarchy and things so I can understand what being alive really is. Trying to understand that I can break certain types of barriers within my mind to be like ‘Yo can I be free and be myself without these constructs? Or how can I show up in community and be of service? Or what is stepping into my true power?’ You know, I’m asking these internal questions and it’s displaying in the music, but I’m also being direct--do I have all the answers right now? I do not. I’m doing what I can because God has me here and I’m just...figuring myself out, deconstructing myself like everybody else that’s learning more about themselves. So, it’s really a display of what’s going on internally. That’s what the body of work and the music is. Certain good things and bad things are happening in life and I’m figuring it out. I talk about a lot of family stuff on Act I the most. Helping my mother out with stuff. Act II was more focused on worldly shit. And I’m seeing what’s going on. The chaos. The back and forth’s. While trying to step into my true power, and understand myself, and the importance of community. Regardless of what’s going on. It’s like, ‘Yo community matters. People gotta come together. It doesn’t matter what it is. We can’t abandon each other.’ But I know that’s a long-winded answer…

G: Do you see a connection between the way you take pictures and the way you write?

J: Shoot, I think it’s all connected high key. Yeah, I’m very much into cinema and visual work in general. So I would say, you know, I’m trying to create an experience in every single thing I do. When it comes to photos and video, whether I’m working with my homie or solo, I’m really the one directing it and writing things down and scoping out how I want these shots because in the end I’m going to edit it, and me being the editor, that helps me connect everything…but photos, I think photos help captivate me.

G: Totally. So, once you started taking your own pictures and beginning to write, did you start to get a reflection of yourself right away or did you have to get through the process of learning how to do these things first?

J: That’s interesting…I deem myself as a visionary. My mind works in completely different ways. I know a lot of people throw around the term creative director and all of these things, but I really be seeing things, and my job and my duty is to bring them to life. It never was a hard thing. I tend to know what I want when I go into creating, so it can just be easy. A lot of people have a hard time doing that. A lot of artists need creative directors around them to help bring some vision. For me, when I hear music, my mind is already visually making things happen. If I’m outside and I’m seeing something, I want to capture it; my mind is always working in that way.

Reflections of our actions

All these broken hearts

Was just a fragment of our madness

So don’t question this whole world

If you not changing for the masses

You just as damaged as the last kid

- “THE RISING”

G: Have you struggled with feeling lonely or isolated from your experience of the world?

J: Sheesh, that’s a crazy question. I definitely deal with isolation and feeling lonely. I deal with that a lot. And I think this is where art has given me that space to be myself. I still do deal with isolation and loneliness but probably not as heavy as it once was. This is where it goes back to alignment. I care more about being aligned with the right people than being around anybody, you know? And yeah, it’s isolating at times, but I think I’m not as lonely because I’m comfortable with who I am. Not only that, I’ve built strong enough communities by being myself and being aligned with the right people…It may be isolating right now, but eventually, life is going to remind me that I got people around me, you know? But it’s hard, though. Not everybody is on the same type of pivot that I’m on or, you know, moving how I’m moving. But there’s people out there, I’m always going to remember that.

G: I think that’s beautiful. At the end of the day, when you are a writer, you’re going to end up spending time alone.

J: Exactly. A lot of creating is literally a lonely process, but sometimes it’s necessary. I don’t look at it as a punishment I look at it as a duty.

G: Absolutely. I mean chasing a sense of purpose in exterior things is often from a place of loneliness. So, when you can be isolated and still know yourself and be comfortable and love yourself that’s real honesty.

J: Right, I’m having fun. I’m finding new things. I’m curious about life. Listen, as I get older, I’m blessed to be alive. I’m blessed to move through the world building community off me being authentically me. I know there’s so much more that the world has to offer that I try to, I don’t know…I look at the glass half full, I guess.

Locked in on his own lane, only moving in service of the vision; talking to Jxylen made me want to double down on everything I believe in. There’s no room for placating, fuck your complacency and culture vulturey. In an age of AI slop, we only hold space for authenticity. Live as the artist you want to become—don’t wait till your views are up—no one will give you permission to step into yourself. The time is now and it always has been.

Go support Jxylen’s work—listen to his music, check out his website, watch his videos—you know the deal. I learn a little bit more about what it means to be an artist each time I interview someone, and then I get to take those lessons with me into my own work. I look forward to continuing to build in this craft and I appreciate anyone taking the time to read this now. Lift up local independent creatives at all costs.

I Guess U Had To Be There - E L U C I D & Sebb Bash off Backwoodz

This was a highly anticipated album for me. I have been following E L U C I D as a solo artist since his 2022 release I Told Bessie, though I had been hearing him rap for a few years prior through his work with billy woods as Armand Hammer. I’ll dig into his artistry at some point and share some of the stories and reflections I have from being a fan this past handful of years, but this isn’t that piece. This piece is just to say this album is phenomenal and it has been a central piece of my musical life since it came out in mid-March.

This is an album for those who like hearing people rap their asses off over beats that crawl into your psyche like a parasite. This a victory lap done amidst a generational run. If you get the chance to see an E L U C I D show, don’t miss out—this guy actually does it live1.

All I'm is, all I'm ain't
Watch and pray, all I give
All I take, by the way
Lives we lived, stories that we shouldn’t say

- “Make Me Wise”

You’re Free to Go - Anjimile off 4AD

These songs found me at the right time. I burst out crying after the first time I heard “Ready Or Not”. I had gotten some sad news that day and needed something to pull me deeper into my feelings—Anjimile’s brilliant sorcery did just that. Hearing them process thoughts about love and gender and fear and family all made me feel seen. Their melodic choices reached deep into the crevices of my brain and told me I wasn’t so crazy after all.

I was brought to this album because it was produced by Brad Cook who’s work I have been following closely for the past few years, but this is the first I’ve heard of Anjimile. A wonderful reminder of the power of sincerity and the unshakeable strength of softness. Allow yourself to be soothed by these beautiful songs.

A parade of souls, I’m getting old
Nobody knows the trouble I see
There will be blood, like you wanted
You made your bed and you know what you did

- “Ready or Not”

God Save The Gun - Militarie Gun off Loma Vista Recordings

According to lead singer Ian Shelton, Militarie Gun makes music for drug addicts and those who were raised around drug addicts. I have heard their name circulating around the indie-sphere for a few years but never heard anything till their recent tiny desk concert. I watched it on a whim and was completely brought back to my own days singing Ramones songs in high school.

The band embraces group harmonies with high energy and the precision of experienced songwriters. A tinge of 2000’s rock energy mixed with 70’s punk, these guys are what boybands used to be.

I thought you wеre waving
Turns out you were drowning
Rеally wish I could read your mind

- “Thought You Were Waving”

Here’s to a beautiful spring and summer to come. Get outside. Listen to something new. Spend time with your loved ones. Eat something yummy. That’s all I’ve got for today.

Designer - Aldous Harding off 4AD

I revisited this album after seeing an Instagram post from the “American Museum of Paramusicology” that showed a few brief clips of her performing. They shared them out of an interest in her body movements and the way she channeled specific timbres through intentional motion. I saw an artist possessed with emotion and was reminded of this album by her from 2019.

Designer is still the only work of hers I’ve listened to, outside of her collaboration with Perfume Genius on the brilliant “No Front Teeth”. I’m anticipating the release of her upcoming album (Train on the Island), and will eventually dig into her other records but it was such a treat to come back to this one. The production is simple but piercing—guitars, drums, bass and the most perfect background vocals and woodwinds to provide punctuation. Every single thing you hear is in service of the songs.

I listened to this album over and over while traveling alone in Ecuador the year it was released. I distinctly remember feeling the depths of these songs as I processed the reality of being away from my support system during the holidays for the first time. I wasn’t lonely per se, as I had made friends that I was with but I was unraveling and stitching myself back up in a new design. I was becoming a more raw version of myself. These nine, truly wonderful songs, helped satiate my need for embrace as I ventured deeper into that process.1

Listening back I am filled with nostalgia for that younger person, confused but driven to understand—nothing to be bound by but a sense of discovery. In a way they seem distant, yet I know we are far more alike than I tend to let on. I continue to move forward but I think a trip down memory lane through a beautiful piece of art is a healthy way to process the current of life.

I get so anxious I need a tattoo
Something binding, that hides me
But when the time comes to design it
It opens up like height under a pilot

- “Pilot”

The Pleasure Is Yours - GENA off Lex Records

GENA (God Energy Naturally Amazing). Difficult to categorize but full of recognizable sounds from all over the Black American Musical Tradition—The Pleasure Is Yours is ever moving, sliding from song to song, turning the clock backwards and forwards simultaneously. This record is the result of a collaboration pulled from the ether. Cut from musical cloth of the highest quality fabrics, Liv.e and Karriem Riggens are torch-bearers leading us into a future not only worth believing in, but worth moving towards with haste. I have little else to say besides that you should listen and listen and listen again (then again and again and again…). This music is timeless—pulled from beyond when we needed it most. GENA could make me believe in GOD if they tried; in fact that final track might’ve done it.

This is one of the definitive albums of 2026 and we’re only a few months in. You can say what you want but I have the utmost confidence that history will support that statement. As soon as I heard their debut single, “Circlesz”, and watched the music video I knew I would never forget it. Effortlessly elegant, overflowing with attitude and (other)worldly understanding—I already sincerely appreciated both halves of this duo alone but together they are far greater than the sum of their parts. They are infinite. They are stars. They are the best of us. They are GENA.

Protect your children
Comfort your children
Cover your children
Heal your children
Wash over our heads with love
Wash over our heads with love

- “omo aya ati baba”

Magic, Alive! - McKinley Dixon off City Slang

Phenomenal; an adventure of a listen. Jazz rap the way jazz rap should be—not corny. There’s a lot of narrative to the lyricism that I need to dig into more to understand but it is the perfect record for these early spring days coming our way in the Northeast. I’m new to McKinley Dixon’s work but had heard great things about this record—I will now most certainly be paying close attention to him moving forward. Also an excellent roster of featured artists on here Quelle Chris, Anjimile, Ghais Guevara, Alfred.,Teller Bank$, ICECOLDBISHOP, Pink Siifu, Shamir and Blu. Produced by Sam’s Koff and Yamaha with an all-star band of live musicians that give it a larger than life feel. If you are in need of revival, this is the record for you.

Had to get out, might just break the seams
Hold it against me, it's summertime, everyone schemes
From the legends to the dope man, the poets and fiends
Hopin' what I brought back is enough to redeem

- “All the Loved Ones (What Would We Do???)”

Misophonia I & II - Sasco released independently

Sasco is someone I was introduced to at Premrock’s album release show that I attended and wrote about last year. He acted as DJ for shemar during their set and his finesse on the SP didn’t go unnoticed. I’ve since been paying attention to what he’s doing alongside the aforementioned emcee and their other collaborators. Despite being behind on some of their work from last year, such as his highly lauded project with Sunmudi, Contacting, and shemar’s emerge “n” see, which he has a few beats on, I decided to check out this pair of instrumental projects while getting some writing done and have now come back a few times.

They’re entirely different sounding albums; the first is 5 songs and only a bit over 20 minutes of fast paced, glitchy, internet-underworld sounds that lead to a hopeful ending. The second is 2 tracks and runs an hour—full of spacey ambient noises mixed with textural synths and sporadic splashes of harmonic color. Maybe not appealing to some of you, but I found them to be soothing in a way that helped quite my brain and focus on my work at hand.

As we move through a dystopian world, the ambiance distorts and drifts further from what we had perceived as “reality”. Tangible life is blending with that of the internet at an exponential rate and our senses experience this whether we realize it or not. Sasco seems to see be focused in on the changing landscape around him—articulating the days passing by through the subtleties in atmosphere only patient ears pick up on.

Thanks for reading and share any thoughts you might have in the chat. Look out for an interview being released soon and some other fun stuff on the horizon. This is a positive outlet for me, though at times I do feel it distracts from other creative endeavors so if you enjoy this type of writing let me know that way I am encouraged to continue sharing in this format. Might begin posting personal work on here as well but unsure if this is the place for it—maybe a separate Substack publication? Who knows…but my Auntie seems to want to hear more of my music so I think I should oblige.

Donuts - J Dilla off Stones Throw Records

20 years of this record as of February 7th; I texted my friend Kavi while re-listening:

Anyone reading this who hasn’t heard that album front to back, put this down and turn it on. Modern music has been unequivocally influenced by this record in ways we are only beginning to recognize. Already the amount of “classic” records that directly draw from this is staggering. The first that comes to mind is Blonde by Frank Ocean—the stops and starts, bursting samples and melodies, human feel always—there is no Blonde without J Dilla’s Donuts.

In a cultural moment where AI slop is generating millions of monthly listeners across streaming platforms (but specifically Spotify), J Dilla’s step away from quantizing and towards his distinct interpretation of rhythm should still be seen as a ‘North star’ for those pushing boundaries in music. 20 years after the fact and I’d go as far as to say his music has only grown in importance. With every generic, copy and paste, bland-bland-bland song released and every AI tool/resource/helper/friend(?) created to suck life from the world, this music continues to propagate the underground creating roots too strong to be killed.

Sad And Beautiful World - Mavis Staples off Anti

A couple weeks ago I re-watched the documentary Summer of Soul for the first time since it was released. In it, a young Mavis Staples performs with her father and the rest of The Staple Singers, but, as a sign of the times to come, she later steps away from the group to sing alongside Mahalia Jackson. In a breathtaking display of musical spirit, the two go back and forth trading vocal riffs until everything had been sung; the audience had witnessed the passing of the torch from one great to the next.

That year, 1969, Mavis had just released her first solo record—Mavis Staples—and as the bands’ touring life slowed down, she was about to fully branch off on her own. She has now released 14 studio albums over five decades, with numerous live albums, and compilations as well. It is impossible to box-in what her voice contains. She holds history in her breath and wields it with unmatched grace and grit, as powerful now at 86 as it was in 1969, at 29.

Part of what prompted me to watch the documentary was seeing a video of her perform the song “Beautiful Strangers” from her latest album earlier that day. I had been meaning to listen to her album, but after seeing that video I felt like I had to right away. Sad and Beautiful World was produced by Brad Cook, who’s work is playing a large roll in shaping the sound of 2020’s alt-country-indie-rock from his home in Durham, North Carolina. I knew this collaboration would be priceless, yet with musical contributions from Derick Trucks, Bonnie Rait, Waxahatchee, MJ Lenderman, Jeff Tweedy, the list goes on…and songs written by Curtis Mayfield, Frank Ocean, Leonard Cohen, Gillian Welch and David Rawlings, Tom Waits and others, it’s impact has surpassed my high expectations.

Nancy & Lee - Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazelwood off Boots Enterprises Inc.

Discovered this album from the radio show Connecting the Notes hosted by Mathew Ray, the man who officiated my cousins wedding. It’s a great show and although it’s no longer active I highly recommend checking out his archive.

Described by Pitchfork as an “intense incarnation of country-tinged psychedelia”, this album brings me somewhere special. The timbre of their voices in duet is mesmerizing and the production is excellent. It’s worth a shot if you’re looking for a change of pace. “Summer Wine” in particular had a stranglehold on me for a bit—maybe it still does? Beautiful stuff.

Didn’t feel like pulling quotes for this one. The stand alone lyrics weren’t in focus as much as the songs and the production so this is what you get. The chat is supposedly started so if you want to talk about any of this stuff that is supposedly where that will supposedly happen…

No Control, No Glory - AKAI SOLO off Break All Records

I can’t stop listening to this project. I hadn’t listened to anything by AKAI SOLO in a bit but was so happy to return. August Fanon does a few beats on here along with a couple Wavy Bagels joints and variety of other ill producers. AKAI’s flow is like none other—able to weave between hilarity and honest reflection like it’s second nature. Whole project is brilliant but “It’s Hard To Talk About” brought me to tears multiple times. That Fanon beat is something else and AKAI really brought it with storytelling.

Complacency and immaturity confiscates wins—I had to vanquish both.

Negativity like a twin ember—it attaches to me and does no favors.

I couldn’t even tell you what the flavor profile is—it simply ruins dinner.

Insecurity and I play this silly cat and mouse game—it corners me often.

- “It’s Hard To Talk About”

Way To Be - youbet off Hardly Art

Recommended to me by journalist/drummer Matt Shuham in June of 2024, I re-listened recently and now I keep coming back. Way To Be feels like a blast of cold air on a hot day—or maybe a soft snowstorm on a frigid one is more apt for when I’m writing this. Crackly and cursive—their melodies are infectious and emotive in their off-kilter delivery. Guitar parts and song structures that keep you guessing but catchy like, I sing along even when I don’t know the lyrics—even when there aren’t lyrics(?). Play it loud and then turn it a bit louder(!)—let Nick Llobet toss you around a bit, they won’t let you down.

I want a little bit, so come and take it out.

I want to give it back, but it’s too late now.

And everybody sees an enabler in everybody we meet.

I think I’ll take some more, I think I’ll take some more,

And now I’m filling up, it’s the way I am.

Heavy on the street in a state of blur and I don’t want to be loud.

- “Alive to You”

Sortilege - Gabe ‘Nandez and Preservation off Backwoodz Studioz

This shit is simply ELITE. Those who know Preservation, know he has exceptional attention to detail in his world building abilities. Ever since his album with billy woods, Aethiopes, and Ka’s Days With Dr. Yen Lo, Preservation has been one of my favorite producers in hip-hop. Gabe ‘Nandez, I hadn’t heard of until his feature on “Sauvage”—track four off Aethiopes—and even then, I’m ashamed to say, I didn’t tap in. At the time Boldy James’ feature was what peaked my interest so I overlooked the gravelly baritone at the end of the song. After hearing this project and seeing Gabe open for woods in Boston, I’ll never make that mistake again. One of the brightest emcees out right now and one of the best albums of 2025.

Upper-cut, cross, left-hook—we shadow-watching,

Often, train every day—head I’m in this.

Difference between rapping bout it is, I live this.

Round one, you feeling fresh it just started.

Round two, you feel the depth breath departing.

Round three, you seeing death—that’s the target.

Put my whole life in the text—thats the artist.

- “Muay Soak”

Could write much more about these but I promised myself I’d keep it brief and to let go of perfectionism. Got some exciting longer stuff in the works but for now go check out my last piece. I’ll be back in February with more stuff I’m enjoying.

Before I go into our conversation, I want to take you to the first time I heard Ryan’s music. It was March 1st, 2025, and I was out at Ralph’s Rock Diner in Worcester to see local alt-folk acts, Jake McKelvie and Berm. Sandwiched right in-between them was a band I’d never heard of—Regals—on tour from New Hampshire. I was skeptical at first, New Hampshire isn’t exactly known for its thriving music scene, but I wanted to give them a fair shot, so I did my best to listen attentively. My skepticism was quickly turned on its head once they got into their set.

Two guitarists, bass, drums, pedal steel—one guitar player singing lead and the bassist adding harmonies. They sounded huge after hearing Jake’s solo set with his acoustic. Ryan’s voice was soulful and gritty, not emphasizing lyrics so much as syllables and energy. The rhythm section stayed tight while the lead guitar lines and pedal steel tied it all together in a new kind of country way.

After the set, I approached Ryan to express how much I enjoyed the music and to see what part of New Hampshire they were from. He was friendly and spoke with deep enthusiasm about the music. He told me they’re from Manchester and had just gotten back from a trip to Nashville that had gone well; saying: “I didn’t know what they were going to think about what we’re doing and how we sound but they seemed to really dig it.” Bringing country music to Nashville is a little like bringing sand to the beach, but the fine people of Tennessee that heard them play that night could tell these guys were doing something a bit different.

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Fast forward to October and Ryan reached out to me. He remembered my offer to write something about Regals debut album and asked if I’d still be interested. I gladly accepted. He gave me early access to the music to get a head start on digesting it and I dug right in. Here’s a journal entry from my first time through:

I’m listening to Regaltown USA on top of a hill in Worcester, Massachusetts. Late autumnal browns and oranges color the trees; greyish clouds sit in the sky. The air is crisp and time feels slow. Ryan Rock Egan’s gravelly voice tells a heartfelt story of New England life filled with mild alcoholism and aching heartbreak. Encouraging us small town kids to dream big on a blanket of twangy guitars and tasteful country grooves—Regals is the remedy to our collective restlessness. I picture myself driving windy roads, smoking cigarettes as the sun sets on the horizon; feeling like no one quite understands me and maybe I like it that way. Regals’ music is saturated with a sense of longing and belonging. Longing for something more, while belonging to something real. This is American music from the perspective of New England country kids turned local rockstars. This is music to be heard from barstools and transistor radios, music to shout along to in whatever voice you have. Regaltown USA is not about perfectionism, it is about storytelling. So, get in your car or put on your headphones or whatever the fuck you do to listen to music, and try for the next 40 minutes, to just let yourself go.

R: When I was growing up, it was like, Rolling Stones and Fleetwood Mac in the house. My mom loved music, and she’d play 92.5 The River—blasting that shit late at night, drinking wine, and hanging out with friends…My dad loved old country music, George Jones, and stuff.

G: So, was it conscious to bring back some of those sounds from childhood into your music?

R: Yeah. Yeah. I mean I got my friends [Sean Merkle drums, Chris J. Brün guitar, and Mike Vinci bass and harmonies] together and we were playing a lot of Credence Clearwater Revival, Lou Reed and The Kinks and we were just playing for ourselves. At one point it seemed like we were gonna be kind of a bar band…but then I started writing some songs. Nothing too serious at first but around 2019 when David Berman died, I wrote a song about that and I was like, ‘Wow, I want to make this a song’. Didn’t really turn out right, but it got me inspired to try to make a good song.

G: It’s interesting because CCR was playing southern rock stuff while from California, and you guys are coming from New Hampshire doing a similar thing playing country.

R: Completely. I feel like New Hampshire is probably the most country of the New England states though.

G: 100%.

R: I wasn’t even aiming for that country inspired stuff until I rediscovered Graham Parsons, and that made me re-approach stuff. Blue Mountain, and, Lucero, and Whiskeytown, and all this music that I grazed over I came back to. I really dove into Son Volt and started to find that middle ground between more emotive “edgy” lyricism and these kinds of old country sounds. Then we had a show that my buddy, Lucas [Troy], came to, who’s our pedal steel player now. I hadn’t talked to him in like 5 years and he just showed up to the gig. We used to be real good friends, and I was like, “Hey, I know you got that country sound, if you grab a pedal steel, you’re in the band.” He jumped right on it and kind of made everything feel real. The rest of us had been doing this for a while so bringing a little new blood into it really invigorated us to move forward.

G: The pedal steel is an identifier, too. It sets a direction.

R: Yeah, he’s been an awesome presence that’s really helped me feel more confident writing the songs that I want to write.

Regals appreciate a well-crafted song, but they don’t let that get in the way of the heart and spirit of the music. The songs are arranged with care and intention, but they’re also allowed room to breathe—to take on lives of their own in the unpolished air around them. Each song bleeds into the next—saturated in whisky sours and townie life—while nuances in pulse and melody keep it fresh through the whole album.

Lyrically, Ryan is able to build a world that is both devastating, and little bit silly without compromising on either. There are lyrics, or songs that feel joyful at first but after closer inspection are blatantly morbid. Many listens through the album and I still get slapped in the face when I hear certain lines. One that comes to mind is off “fresh pack”—a song about addiction and coping and trying to stay sane. As Ryan put it when the song came up in our conversation: “What’s a night of drinking without a fresh pack of cigarettes?”

“Well, I always keep the drink the same, so, if I die, we all know who to blame.

And I’m really in the business to maintain that healthy life I’ve been living,

But I fear deep down I’m growing insane lord.

I’m not drinking tonight, unless somebody begs me to.

And if they do I promise you, it’ll be enough to almost kill me.

Oh, please do lord.”

- fresh pack

G: How do you go about writing? Or generating ideas?

R: I have methods where I can sort of trick myself to come up with something.

G: Sure.

R: It’s just kind of like, I need to get triggered by, you know, a phrase or something. I love writing in the morning. I’ll go for a little drive, and I’ll listen to some sports radio, have some coffee, a cigarette and just drive around. Then one of these guys will say something fucking crazy and I’ll be like, ‘I kind of like that.’ And I just steal a little thing and then turn it into a starting point. Sometimes it won’t even stick in the song, but…

G: It’ll take you somewhere.

R: Exactly. I’ll write all these things around it and just pick out pieces. Then I’m like, ‘Oh, the thing that started this isn’t even there anymore’ but it’s about creating processes for myself…you know, it’s also about just going through shit. I feel like if you don’t go through the horrors of life and you live in a mundane sphere where you don’t feel anything and nothing is happening to you, how are you supposed to write captivating, interesting music?

Writing around ‘something’ is a theme in Regals’ music. Although many of the topics for the album’s songs could be seen as surface-level, standard songwriting material, there is an element of sadness that seeps into even the happier tracks. This added layer of emotional complexity is what gives this music such power. There are a lot of bands making pop country right now and there are a lot of bands making emotive singer songwriter music but finding a sweet spot in-between those two spaces is a musical tradition of its own.

In 2023 Ryan lost his mother and younger brother in succession. They both fought long battles with their health in different ways, but only his mother’s death was expected. I went back and forth with myself about including the details of Ryan’s tremendous grief, but I felt to not touch on it would be to tell an altogether untrue story. The fact is, right at the center of Regal’s sound, is a sense of loss, a sense of perseverance in the face of pain—searching for respite in a fresh pack of smokes.

Ryan’s brother was a huge supporter of his music and his best friend. In the shadow of his loss Ryan spoke of coping through “Running like a motherfucker day after day”.1 Before this point music was not the end-all-be-all for Ryan and he had reservations about kicking it into another gear, but his brother always encouraged him to take it further. With a full length album released a few days ago and a cross country tour in progress—I think it’s safe to say he is embodying his brothers vision as well as anyone could.

“Even though I’m thriving, there’s this black spot on my heart,

I can’t tell if that’s you or if I had that from the start.”

- exile

R: He would come to all my shows when he moved back from the west coast. He was a huge supporter of what I was doing, and he would gas me up all the time. When my mom was reaching a stage in her sickness where we knew she was leaving soon we would have these conversations about how he believed I need to double down and I’m like ‘I don’t know, I think I want to stop’…but after I lost him and some time passed, I knew the only thing I could do was listen to what he told me. It took a lot of the fear away…after that, a lot of the things that were stopping me just didn’t feel important anymore.

G: Well, the worst has already happened.

R: Exactly, like nothing can hurt me. I don’t care. I really don’t care…the shock and the torment that comes from this is never ending. It stymies all my relationships and my progress and my life. I’ll be doing well, and then a cloud comes back…but when I play on stage and I’m locked in, it’s like I’m out of my body and I’m just channeling it all…There are so many roadblocks in music, but when you lose someone that’s so close to you, you need to do anything you can in your life to feel close to them. You’re living for them; you have no choice… I often say I became 0 years old on June 9th, 2023. I became 0 years old, my life reset, and I became a baby again.

As I’m releasing this Ryan is on the first stretch of his tour promoting this record. If you get the chance to see him, you’re in for a treat. Wish him luck on his journey and support the band by buying their album on Bandcamp or at least go stream it if you can’t shell out any money currently. This is an album that has come to mean something special to me and hopefully it will do the same for you.

BARE//ENDS Playlist #3

1. zephyr by REGALS

2. Drink ‘Till We’re Gone by Lucero

3. Excuse Me While I Break My Own Heart Tonight by Whiskeytown

4. Art of Seduction by Jake McKelvie

5. wallfly by REGALS

6. georgia by berm

7. Hearts on Fire by Gram Parsons

8. Tear Stained Eye by Son Volt

9. fresh pack by REGALS

1. How would you describe your artistic output and ambitions to someone completely unfamiliar with what you do and the scene you come from?

   My ambitions have always been driven by a desire to contribute something meaningful to the greater conversation of hip-hop. The scene has taken many forms but usually it’s rooted in the belief of something similar. Mutual respect, support and admiration have to be the collective baseline for a scene to become something. The scene I am apart of currently features people who are working class artists who push the boundaries of their art. The unilateral emotion is they believe in a deeper sense of love for the culture. I think there’s a natural selection element that weeds folks out who don’t share the sentiment.

PremRock first caught my attention with his pinpoint precise lyricism on ShrapKnel’s track “Lazy Dog” off their 2022 album Metal Lung. I watched the music video and was blown away by what he and his brother in words Curly Castro (the other 1/2 of ShrapKnel) were doing. Although I was invested right away, it took me a little while to digest their sound. With Metal Lung I saw the bait and approached, but with their follow up, Nobody Planning To Leave I bit in and got hooked. Fast forward three years from me hearing Prem rap for the first time, and it just so happened that I was in NYC at the time of the release show for his phenomenal new solo record, Did You Enjoy Your Time Here…? Given the opportunity to get a deeper look into his world, I knew I couldn’t miss it.

Plans fell through to bring along a friend, and my partner Cesi had another commitment, so this was a solo endeavor. I got to The Wood Shop in East Williamsburg, brimming with anticipation and wondering how I should approach the night—wanting to enjoy myself while also taking notes so I could write this. The doors weren’t open yet when I arrived so I walked around the block and smoked a cigarette as I parsed through my thoughts. I saw members of the up and coming rap influenced boyband, Whatmore, sitting outside a restaurant—they happened to have a show at a nearby skatepark that same night. I ruminated on the fact they’d likely have a much bigger crowd (they did) despite the years of experience and insight they lacked compared to the Backwoodz crew gathering a few blocks away. No shade to the Whatmore dudes, they are a talented bunch but I knew I was going to be in the right place.

2. What is your goal as a performer when you take the stage? Is that at all different when performing solo versus as 1/2 of ShrapKnel? If so, how?

   My goal(s) I suppose would be to let the uninitiated know who I am and to give the folks there to see me a reason to feel inspired. To me, the live show is the pay off for all the untold hours of work you put into the craft. I recently said I am my truest self onstage. I guess this is the truth. I feel very comfortable up there. I do not have stage fright so much as “Let’s get this going!” type of anxiety. I have performed in every setting you could imagine. In front of 500-750 kids, in front of 3, in front of incredibly important people, in basements in France, on riverbanks in Hungary, a Bar and Grill in North Dakota, Istanbul school assemblies, rap battles in parking lots, open mics with terrible sound, the best sound you could imagine at a big festival. I guess I carry it with me everywhere I end up going. ShrapKnel is a lighter workload and more of an experience I would say. Between us we’ve been at it 50 years!! Can you imagine that?

I wandered back to The Wood Shop, where a small crowd had begun to form. I smoked another cigarette and heard Curly Castro, Driveby, and blackchai talking with friends about some seemingly petty rap beef directed at blackchai recently. It was fun to be a fly on the wall as they recounted what happened. At the time I didn’t know Driveby by name and although I knew blackchai from his collaboration with producer extraordinaire, August Fanon—OTHERWISE A BLUR—I didn’t piece together that that was him until Prem shouted him out during the performance. Nonetheless, watching Castro fill the role of mentor to a younger emcee was deeply moving. It showed the presence of a common goal, a sense of direction that the movement is beholden to, even in a light-hearted moment such as this.

The doors opened and I walked in to immediately see Prem sitting on what appeared to be a throne beside the merch table. I told him how much I loved the record and that I’d been keeping up with him ever since I caught ShrapKnel live opening for woods during the Aethiopes tour.1 He was grateful and down to earth, asking me my name and thanking me for the support. I peered at the table adorned with records, cassettes, Ts and CDs, but not wanting to hold on to anything for the time being, I went to grab some water and find a place to stand. Already on stage was DJ Mo Niklz doing cuts over Beastie Boys’, “Sabotage”, Dany Brown’s “Grown Up” and other classics. The room was still pretty empty but people trickled in as his set continued. I put my earplugs in and got comfortable, prepared for a night full of inspiration.

3. If 10 year-old you could see you now what do you think he’d say? Would he rock with the album? On the flip side, what’s one thing you wish you could say to him?

   Wow..10 year old me wouldn’t imagine this scenario in his wildest dreams. But maybe he would in a way? I have exceeded some things I couldn’t really fathom honestly and I am proud that he would be proud that I never gave up, never lost the spark or threw in the towel. I would tell him to enjoy it all and smell the roses and you don’t have to grow up so fast. You’re a talented kid but with more discipline you could reach heights you’ve never imagined.

Mo Niklz finished and the hosts for the evening, Stranger’s LIVE—made up of Fatboi Sharif, EightyNiner Grant, and DJ’s Boogaveli and Kohai—came to the stage to introduce everything and get the night rolling. Next up was Driveby, a producer by way of Jersey City who dropped an album with Sharif that very night titled Let Me Out, off Deathbomb Arc. Still uninitiated to his world of sounds, I went in open minded and was not let down. Before getting on stage he put on a face mask and a bucket hat—giving himself permission to transform. Letting samples scream from the speakers and crackling bass fill the room, his curses catapulted into the audience from his SP555 with ease. Each beat scarier than the last, his demons ran loose as he crafted catharsis in front of us. After playing instrumentals for a while he shared an unreleased track with K-The-I??? (who I mentioned in my previous piece) and fellow New Jersey native, Fatboi Sharif. Although the night was a celebration of PremRock’s album, Sharif and Driveby’s release was swirling in the air as well. Driveby’s didactic beat set drove us to the depths ‘til it was time to change course and welcome the next performer.

Yolanda Watson took the stage joined by a trio of Danny C. (aka Beatsgotdan) on guitar, Wyatt Thompson on drums and Nate Vivacqua on bass. This was the only band to perform that night and although maybe seen as out-of-place by the untrained eye, they fit perfectly in the mosaic of sound that had formed. Yolanda’s powerful stage presence centered a joyful freedom that is few and far between. They were unapologetically silly, allowing the audience to release some of the tension we collectively hold in our day-to-day lives, but also unafraid to center resistance, adding depth to the revelry. Their set elicited sounds ranging from R&B to reggae, tied together by tight grooves and Yolanda’s singular vocal. As they danced from song to song the band shown a new light on why we were all there and the importance of what was next. At this point we had been scared and soothed, now it was time for the rap show to officially commence.

Up-and-comer shemar came to the stage ready to spit words of fire into the already glistening room. Alongside him was his partner on the SP, Sasco—creating kindling for the emcee to ignite. shemar came to my attention when he released his EP titled sunscreen in collaboration with the incomparable producer, Child Actor. His catchy hooks and sharp lyricism left me a fan from the moment I heard that concise but weighty project. I knew his set would be great, but what I did not expect was the ferocity with which he rapped in person. The grime and force of his voice gave him new levels of power. A particularly special moment was seeing him perform “skytrain! skytrain!” off the aforementioned EP, while Child Actor bumped his head and rapped along in the audience. Next, shemar went into “gargoyles” which was set to release later that night, posing the question to the audience “how can I trust my instinct as it corrodes?” Emphatic in his delivery and confident in the prowess of his lyrical blades, shemar was unstoppable as he rang the alarm on the dangers of complacency.

The duo had done the room its due diligence, setting the stage for the veteran Chicago rapper with skills unmatched, Skech-185. I have only spent time with his 2023 Backwoodz release produced by Jeff Markey, He Left Nothing for the Swim Back, but once you hear Skech-185, you know exactly what he is about: rapping his fucking ass off. Starting out hot he prodded the coals in the room till they erupted anew. He went into the titular track off the record and after a second told Mo Niklz to stop and run it back. He took a moment, stating, “Those of you that know me know I don’t do this, but we’re going to start it over from the top.” Allowing himself a second chance to tear the roof off, he came out into the audience and gave one of the most raw vocal performances I’ve ever seen. Emotionally entangled in each word, he laid out the blueprint of artistic integrity for all of us to witness. As he always sees himself in the faces of the children, so might we see ourselves in his fiery poetics. The rest of his set was a blur of energy and enigmatic word-smithing at its finest, leaving me doubled down on my appreciation for his spirit.

4. To make DYEYTH you leaned on many different producers, rappers and of course, Willie Green, to help sequence and engineer the album. What does your community mean to you and how did that inform your approach to this project? With such a wealth of collaborators what was the process of picking beats and features like?

   With this much talent at my disposal it is definitely a challenge that would qualify as a good problem to have…an embarrassment of riches. Sifting through such a high level of quality can be taxing but it sure beats the hell out of not having enough! I certainly followed the intuitive vibes that usually guide me. “This person would sound good here” or “that beat should be here” comes with making records for quite some time. It becomes equal parts muscle memory and trying new techniques.

The main event was set to begin and in proper fashion for an album release show, PremRock started with the opening track off the album being celebrated, Did You Enjoy Your Time Here…?. “Angel’s Share” opens with a sample of a woman being asked about her “occupation,” and she responds with beautiful precision, listing her many passions—painting, writing, composing, and ending by saying, “I think of myself as an atmosphere creator.” The radical hope embedded within those words permeated all around me as Prem’s voice confidently cut through rapping lines like “Pain’s a guild about not yet pro-creating, but it’s still sorta ‘Yo we made it’” and “Legends in my phone I can drunk text and simply look at and stare, knowing I was faded.” I glanced around the audience and saw many of the legends at the other end of those drunk texts. As an outsider of sorts, I felt surrounded by the cloth of community stitched together by the music I adore. Child Actor, Willie Green, DJ Haram, Steel Tipped Dove…that’s not even mentioning anyone who graced the stage. These are people I see as larger than life through my searing smartphone screen, yet I found myself in a room with them side by side showing support for PremRock. I was humbled by this tangible display of friendship as I peered in from my seemingly disparate world of fandom.

Prem continued into the second and third tracks off the album, “Void Lacquer” and “California Sober”, expressing gratitude to everyone there and praising the outstanding opening acts in-between. Breaking from the album’s order he took a moment to paint a picture for us. Asking who in the audience knew the jazz legend Marshall Allen, recognized for being the bandleader of Sun Ra’s Arkestra after Ra’s passing in 1993. Applause responded before he said, that the 100 year old musical giant had released the first solo album of his life in February 2025. “So anybody that's thinking they’re too old to do that thing or make that album, you still have time. This next one is for everyone who climbs doubt mountain every day!” The room responded heartily and he went into the YOUNGMORPHEUS produced anthem for self-doubting-dreamers still holding onto hope.

5. Onstage you said billy woods and Curly Castro are the two most important artists in your life, could you say more?

   Can I retroactively add Willie Green? Haha that would be apt as well. Castro has been my creative partner now in the most successful and largest in scope endeavor in my career (ShrapKnel) so he gets the obvious nod there. woods has given me more opportunities on broader scales than any other artist in my life. He hasn’t forgotten people as he’s ascended but the end of the bargain we have to hold up is we must ascend in our craft as well. Green has remained the steady hand in my career as an engineer but also someone I can go to at any point for guidance if I feel unsure about something. Invaluable to have these three people who are vastly different but equally inspiring.

Ushering in other chapters of his artistry, Prem brought up his early collaborator and touring companion, Henry Canyons to do a track. Canyons was ready to step into the moment and performed an unreleased song, lacerating the mic in the process. PremRock then went into a cut from his 2021 release, Load Bearing Crows Feet, before bringing up Curly Castro for the ShrapKnel section of the show. ShrapKnel are elite performers in tandem and immediately fell into their human forms—blades unsheathed and sharper than ever. Two individualists, indifferent to the temporal tides of the so-called “new wave,” pushing the envelope of what a rap duo can be. Uniforms on but not an ounce of uniformity was present. They moved through songs off their excellent 2024 release Nobody Planning to Leave—“Human Form” to “Illusions Of P” then “Deep Space 9 Millie Pulled a Pistol”—before Prem took a back seat and let Castro close it out with an a cappella rendition of his verse off “LIVE Element.” Lifting each other up and stepping forward when suitable—a forceful friendship was on full display throughout the performance.

Earlier in the night I had seen a familiar figure appear in the audience a few feet ahead of me. Wearing a flannel shirt and jeans2, with a a backpack on and a fat joint behind his ear—billy woods had entered the building. During ShrapKnel’s set he got onstage and stood by the decks with Mo Niklz, filling him in on what he was going to do. woods wasn’t listed to perform that night but based on the allusion to “special guests” on the poster I knew there was a chance he’d make an appearance. Seen by many as a leader of the underground rap renaissance, the emcee and Backwoodz Studioz owner adds mystery and allure to any space he steps into. Prem took a minute to express his gratitude for the moment showing honor and admiration for his co-conspirators in the craft of hip-hop. The love in the room was unmistakable from all vantage points—this is what community looks like.

woods came to the forefront of the stage and quickly went into his verse from the fan favorite Armand Hammer track, “Falling Out the Sky” off of Haram, their 2021 collaboration with The Alchemist. The room rapped along as best we could, though we can’t all be woods…I thought of him feeling sleepy at night disappearing into mighty clouds and Northern Lights, doing his best to relax in a brain riddled by the past. Then without hesitation, he went into the serene “Soft Landing” off his 2023 Kenny Segal produced album, Maps. I have been privileged enough to see woods live on three occasions prior to this, twice in which he performed this rap-ballad for the ages. It’s a crowd favorite and it exudes emotion each time, but believe me when I tell you this struck a starker chord than I’d ever heard before. With Prem and Castro sing-rapping along on the chorus and the audience emphatic in our imitation, the room was overflowing with artistic integrity and appreciation. Despite hoping he’d do another song, this concise performance was all the night needed from one of the scene’s biggest stars.

Next, Fatboi Sharif, and the the other hosts of Strangers LIVE, came up bringing a sense of ruckus-celebration with them. Smiles on faces and drinks in hands they immediately got our motherfucking hands up for a song before handing the mic back over to Prem like he was Mariano Rivera3. Stepping into this final stretch of sonics, the sample for “Camel Cash” played and it begged the question—how far would you walk for a Camel? Respond[ing] to the dawn like a gong, Prem absolutely brought it on, riding the energy of his guests in an emboldened effort to show why he belonged on that stage. He rapped “Fever Dream” and “Plunder” before Castro re-joined him on the mic for a freestyle only fit for true students of the form. I’d never seen a proper freestyle like that onstage and it was a joy to witness. Unafraid of the moment, they meandered around the beat like professionals. Then, to close it out Prem thanked the crowd and his collaborators before ending with the final track on the album, the Sebb Bash produced banger, “Did You Enjoy Your Time Here?”

6. Along with other hip-hop creators, you’ve referenced being inspired by singer songwriter music and literature—what’s some stuff you were reading and listening to through the process of making DYEYTH?

   Lots of Jason Isbell actually, I discovered him during this album’s process. I think he’s an incredible writer and also David Berman (RIP), Andy Shauf and Adrienne Lenker of Big Thief. Phil Elverum for sure always gets some play, Neil Young too. I just think rappers don’t get afforded the same opportunity to be coded, esoteric and weird the same way (mostly white) songwriters do. Or consider that Hendrix was an incredible writer but you get caught up in the theatrics of his guitar. Captain Beefheart, Tom Waits always. Why can’t we say “The empty handed painter from your streets is drawing crazy patterns on your sheets?” That means a couple different things to me but maybe something totally different to Bob Dylan. So I am always going to tap into singer songwriters for this kind of writing. It’s usually very descriptive ways of talking about love you don’t often get from rappers and rap writing. Sly Stone had an ability to craft some great writing into pop songs and obviously Bob Marley might be the greatest at boiling down complex ideas into chantable hooks. Waits may always be my goat though for his unorthodox writing that is quite brilliant but cloaked in an awful singing voice most shun. Not me though. I mean I made an entire record dedicated to him and his music. Literature is usually a long list! But not as much during this process.

I stood around for a bit, giving my props to those I could before grabbing a record from Prem and stepping outside. I was overwhelmed with emotion and began detangling a knot of thoughts that had formed in my head. I was sharing space with so many artists I revere, I wanted to be present but I couldn’t help but ask myself how I fit into this community. I’m not a rapper, I’m a novice beat-maker at best, my musical expression often comes by way of an untrained singing voice and an acoustic guitar. Yet, when I am most in need of inspiration it is Backwoodz that gives me that boost. PremRock’s response to my last question reminded me that we are not so dissimilar after all. It doesn’t matter how different your palettes are, all that matters is that you are authentic, courageous, and curious every step of the way. Although this specific scene is made primarily of rappers and beat-makers, these artists are not only drawing on the tradition of hip-hop. They are drawing on the tradition of truth telling and story stitching, they are world builders of the finest order and I have been graced with the ability to absorb their work. I felt a rush of inspiration and gratitude as I made my way down the block with my record in hand. The night had come to a close but for me something new had begun, a different mindset, a burgeoning sense of proximity to the person I am becoming. Leaving doubt mountain in the distance for the time being, I walked confidently into the unknown ahead of me.

BARE//ENDS Playlist #2

1. Outside by Wavy Bagels produced by Driveby

2. Pineapple by Yolanda Watson produced by Beatsgotdan

3. Caca by Yolanda Watson produced by Ka$ Burgundy

4. skytrain! skytrain! by shemar produced by Child Actor

5. gargoyles by shemar produced by bloomcycle

6. He Left Nothing for the Swim Back by Skech185 produced by Jeff Markey

7. Bud Billiken by Jeff Markey and Skech185 produced by Jeff Markey

8. Doubt Mountain by PremRock produced by YOUNGMORPHEUS

9. LIVE Element by ShrapKnel produced by Controller 7

10. Soft Landing by billy woods produced by Kenny Segal

11. The Exorcism of Antoinette by Fatboi Sharif produced by Driveby

12. Did You Enjoy Your Time Here…? by PremRock produced by Sebb Bash

For my first story, I’d like to bring you along to a show I saw last month at the Crystal Ballroom in Somerville, MA. To set the scene, I went with two close friends of mine who met for the first time that night. Kavi, a hip-hop head I went to school with from kindergarten to 8th grade (picture two awkward fourth graders jumping around to Public Enemy on a deck in suburban New Hampshire), and Daniel, a friend from college who I play music with regularly (picture shaggy haired oddballs cracking jokes in between guitar based jams full of distortion and atonality). Kavi is a longtime fan of the opening act, Kenny Segal, but going in neither him or Daniel were particularly familiar with the headliner, Benjamin Booker. Nonetheless, the three of us, deeply enthusiastic about music, were prepared for a night of sonic wizardry.

Daniel and I picked Kavi up, grabbed some burritos and zipped over to the venue. We scarfed down our food in the car, before venturing into the cold. I inhaled a cigarette as we briskly walked to the venue—winter wind stinging my bare hands as I smoked. After checking in we went upstairs, making it inside just in time. I could feel my heart beat in my jugula as we were greeted by a hugging bass line and jagged drums. All rise for the mighty sound sculptor, Kenny Segal! He conducted the room gracefully—a titan with an SP1—nodding everyone's heads out of time. Weaving through his deep catalog of indie rap classics and intriguing instrumental material, his demeanor elicited collaborator billy woods:

As Segal’s set came to a midway point, he brought out Boston based artist, Pink Navel (aka Dot Dev) for a mini Ruby Yacht2 reunion. An arpeggiated, toy-like-synth sounded—a moment of calm as Dev proclaimed, “I’m just gonna list some shit”—then the bass and drums dropped, energizing the whole room instantly. The song, titled “Character Select,” is from Pink Navel’s 2023 collaborative effort with Segal, How To Capture Playful. As the album title suggests, the performance was playful as hell, consisting of them listing off fictional characters like A$AP Rocky’s Fashion Killa for people more interested in Bowser than Balenciaga. A nonbinary video game enthusiast and rapper, who also writes folk songs on their acoustic guitar, opening for what could be classified as a psychedelic rock act—the performance screamed: HIP-HOP IS FOR ALL. GENRE MEANS NOTHING.

Up next, surprise guest K-The-I??? came out to perform two tracks from his recent album with Segal, Genuine Dexterity. K is an underground rap legend, currently based in Cambridge, who I was introduced to this past year through his collaboration with Segal via Backwoodz Studioz. Due to flourishing independent record labels such as Backwoodz, an emcee from an earlier era of underground hip-hop like K-The-I-??? has been able to generate fresh energy after years without a release. It goes to show the power of storytelling when a label represents something larger than the sum of its parts. As my mind raced with all of the history leading to this moment, the beat to Warhammer traipsed in with Kenny’s dizzying drums leading the way. Then, with an embodied urgency K declared:

This was no ordinary rap guest, this was a statement—the culmination of alt-rap culture built over decades, being channeled through a voice like none other; K-The-I??? was ready to collect his flowers.

I don’t know the album well enough to say which track he did next, but his performance did not disappoint. Segal finished by weaving through a smorgasbord of instrumentals off of Maps (his second album with rapper, and Backwoodz Studioz owner, billy woods). After building energy with the guest vocalists, Segal moved quicker and more confidently in this final stretch of his set—giving us bite-sized samples of dystopia drenched in honey. Lost in a reflection—both unrecognizable and unmistakable—we watched, mouths ajar till the set came to a close. Segal calmly thanked the crowd, leaving the stage to the sound of modest but heartfelt applause.

After waiting around for a bit, Benjamin Booker came out alongside Segal, and drummer/occasional rapper Mekala Session. The group is on tour for Booker’s first album in nearly 8 years, LOWER, which blends his self described “pop songs” with Segal’s eclectic production brilliance. Each operating as one head of Cerberus, the trio gave us a glimpse of the gates of hell. Prodding us with jolts of energy and cryptic lyricism teetering between piercing heartbreak and unapologetic hope—a barrage of emotions was upon us all.

Haunting guitar and booming drums on “BLACK OPPS” accompanied Booker’s starkly soft vocal. Then, “LWA IN THE TRAILER PARK,” dissonant synths beckoned Haitian spirits as Booker battled feelings of dread and desire. After these two explosive songs they nimbly slid into a softer cut from LOWER, the beautiful “POMPEII STATUES.” Transported from the trailer park to the boulevard, the environment transformed but the perspective remained steadfast. An immediate and intimate exploration of contrast and careful-madness—this was quite the start to a set.

Booker was a man possessed all night. Moving in and out of songs from his past work interspersed with other tracks off LOWER, there was a sense of urgency in every note. Although his introduction to the industry was as a sort of ‘rock God’ type, this time around Booker chose to keep his guitar level relatively low throughout. Fully capable of shredding our faces off he instead opted to use his instrument in more atmospheric ways, still making its presence felt but only coming to the forefront when it truly served the song. Deeply inspired by both ambient music and underground hip-hop3 there is no doubt these genres influenced his approach in this regard. This decision, as a bandleader, gave space for the music to follow a natural ebb and flow of energy that can be restricted by overplaying—like waves cresting and crashing to the beach below, each song washed over us completely.

Towards the end of the set he put his guitar to the side for a moment, the sample for “SLOW DANCE IN A GAY BAR” played, and I knew it was time for something special. A melancholic modern ballad for the ages, he writhed as he shared his creation with us—once again letting the music lead the way to new depths. We watched in awe.

Following this prolific performance the trio continued on through their maze of musical stories. When they reached the end of the set, we played a brief game of “One more song!” before, to our full-fledged approval, they came back out for a final ambush of artistic license. They ripped through songs that lean towards Booker’s rock influences, filling the room with a frenzy of distortion and delirium. Then, just as it seemed the night might be over, I heard the beginning of a song I wasn’t sure we’d get to hear.

“Doves” is difficult to put into words, but I will do my best. It’s a nearly nine-minute-long song originally created by Segal and Booker before being given to underground rap duo Armand Hammer4. The song was released as a bonus track accompanying their 2024 project We Buy Diabetic Test Strips, and features a music video, directed by the incomparable Ryosuke Tanzawa. The piece feels like an art installation intimately examining contrast—life and death, the sky and the gutters, nature and industry, us and them. Made up of stunning still frames spliced with footage of E L U C I D and woods, it is a reminder to save yourself because you can lose it all in a moment. It offers viewers a chance to breathe, to sit with grief and to find joy in what is still here. It is an ode to those of us who feel deeply, who are restless, wary and weathered but continue to move forward. It is a promise that despite everything, life is always worth it in the end.

The band’s interpretation gave me a glimpse into how the track might’ve sounded had it not been handed to Armand Hammer. Booker was in rare form at this point in the show and there was no hiding the weight that this specific song held for him. He was uncompromising in his softness and ferocious in his showmanship. Nearing the end he hopped off stage and put his arm around a man right next to me. Watching him sing from only a few feet away made the sincerity of his music all the more apparent—every lyric, chord, and vocal inflection—this is who he is, I thought to myself, raw and uncut. As the last note sounded he threw the mic onto the stage and turned to exit—a loud *thump* as it landed left us in momentary silence—then an outpouring of applause filled the room.

Wow. What do you say after a show like that? The three of us looked at each other—eyes glossy and satiated—nodding in approval. Needing a moment to catch our breath, we went off to the side as folks got in line for merch and others filtered out the door.

K-The-I??? came over while we rested. Excited to chat a bit, he told us about an unreleased song he recorded with New Jersey based rapper, and Backwoodz regular, Fatboi Sharif. He explained that it wasn’t included on the record because it’s basically just one noisy sine wave that they traded bars over, making it impossible for an engineer to mix without sacrificing the essence of the song. He described the scene he came up in, and Kavi, who is tapped in with the alt-rap history better than I, was ready with follow-up questions. K shared enthusiastically, never making us feel like we were holding him up. It’s not every day you get to have such a genuine interaction with an artist of his caliber, so it felt special to have that moment. Nonetheless, it got late and the line for merch dwindled so we thanked him, and went over to talk to Segal—hoping for a glimpse into his world of production.

We introduced ourselves and I bought the last Maps cassette he had, gushing about his work and how inspiring he has been to me as a musician. Kenny, always down to earth, quickly introduced us to his longtime collaborator Mike Parvizi, as if to say: ‘You know I don’t do this alone, right?” A bit shy to his recent uptick in popularity, my fangirl side was maybe not the best to lead with. But as soon as Daniel asked him about his setup on stage, he got more comfortable and opened up. He told us that the synth he uses for bass sat on his shelf for years before it became a part of his tool-belt—ever an advocate of the overlooked and under-appreciated.

Right as we wrapped up, I turned to approach Booker. We locked eyes for a second from a few yards away before he turned and sauntered backstage. There was nothing that needed to be said. He gave us everything while onstage, and I knew I’d carry that with me for years to come. The spell had been lifted and the night came to a close, leaving us to our own devices, demons, and dreams. We left the venue, back into the cold, into darkness..into the fallout.

BARE//ENDS Playlist #1

1. Hangman by billy woods

2. Character Select by Pink Navel

3. Warhammer by K-The-I???

4. Total Recall by Armand Hammer

5. Baby Steps by billy woods featuring E L U C I D and Benjamin Booker

6. LWA IN THE TRAILER PARK by Benjamin Booker

7. REBECCA LATIMER FELTON TAKES A BBC by Benjamin Booker

8. Slow Coming by Benjamin Booker

9. Doves by Armand Hammer featuring Benjamin Booker

Tracks 1-5 produced by Kenny Segal

Tracks 6, 7, 9 produced by Kenny Segal and Benjamin Booker

Track 8 produced by Andrija Tokic

My name is griffin, I am a 24 year old nonbinary musician and oddball living in Worcester Massachusetts. I’m making this page to begin shaping a world on the internet where I can share stories, songs, dreams, and poems, along with photos, recordings and any other tidbits that feel pertinent to my silly obsessive brain. I’ll aim to post an update every month or so but don’t hold me to that.

Welcome to my little world of words, I hope to bring some light into my life and yours. Thank you for being here and keep kicking ass.

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