Home by 9 is a premium non-alcoholic beer brand founded by Sifiso Radebe and Jeffrey Dunnink. I first came across the brand after seeing their ads on instagram in early 2025. As someone who’s always been looking for some healthy alternatives to alcohol, my interest was piqued. I remember being surprised when I ordered a pack and the pickup address was a residential one.

When I met Jeff to collect my beer the guys were operating from a garage in Mouille Point. At the time, they were making sales purely off word of mouth and social media hype, but the product spoke for itself. It is, quite honestly, the best non-alcoholic beer I’ve personally had. And no, I’m not being plied with endless cases for saying this—it really is my humble opinion.

Many similar brands come close but miss the mark in replicating that crisp lager flavour. As drinking culture continues to shift and different generations embrace drinking less (yes, even in South Africa), I spoke to the guys about how something that started as a personal challenge turned into a business opportunity, and how they found a way to honour those who want to celebrate differently—and a little more mindfully.

Please note that this conversation took place in mid-December 2025, so a lot has happened since then. The trenches of fatherhood and career transitions earlier this year delayed things a bit, but I finally got around to transcribing what was a fun conversation on a beautiful summer’s day at Arthur’s Mini Super in Sea Point.

You guys go way back, I remember Jeff telling me a bit about how Home by 9 came to be when I collected my beers. Tell us a bit about the journey for you as friends.

Jeff: We grew up together. We had the same circle of friends and went to high school together in Johannesburg at Sacred Heart College. After university, I did some travelling in my early twenties and was away for a while.

I came back to South Africa and we bumped into each other late one night. We were both a little tipsy, I might add, and we reconnected. Since then, we’ve been inseparable.

Sfi, you were still enjoying a few at that time. The transition to not drinking came much later. Is that part of the brand story?

It was a fundamental part of the brand story. The brand isn't tied to my decision to stop drinking, but rather to the lack of good non-alcoholic options that still exist in the market.

I haven't had a drink in two years now, and life has changed so much for me. On a basic level, it meant better sleep, actually having weekends again, and having more energy as life demanded more from me. Those changes ultimately informed my decision.

I draw so much energy from my friendships, so being social is incredibly important to me. These days, being social almost always revolves around an activity that involves alcohol. Although we're starting to see that change, in South African culture so much still revolves around having a drink.

I started to wonder: does the fact that I no longer drink mean I'm no longer social? I felt like that couldn't be it. There were options available, but they just weren't that great.

That's where the idea came to me. I was watching the Rugby World Cup in 2023 with Jeff (cue plenty of laughs about how that usually involves several beers), and I looked around the bar and thought, we should create our own option.

Jeff: I said, No, we’ve got to win this scrum first before we have these conversations!

Sfi: The idea just kept coming to me. I couldn't put it down, and it would be the last thing I'd think about before bed. I'd pick it up, put it down, go back to the rest of my life, but it just kept nagging at me.

Eventually, I started nagging Jeff. He asked, "Why non-alcoholic specifically?" and I said, "Look around. People are drinking differently. Look at you and me—we're drinking differently than we were ten years ago." Jeff can't even process gluten, let alone alcohol.

Jeff: I'm old now!

Sfi: I work in finance and Jeff works in sustainability, so in between our day jobs we started doing the research and finding moments to collect data. The more research we did, the more convinced I became that this made sense. The timing felt right.

Do you think you guys might have benefitted from how much less people are drinking nowadays, and that more of a gap opened up for alternatives?

Jeff: Absolutely. I remember it becoming really apparent to me around the time we were watching the World Cup. Sfi was talking about it a lot, and we'd find ourselves scanning the crowd at bars, paying attention to the ratio of non-alcoholic to alcoholic drinks.

You don't really notice it when you're just out enjoying yourself, but once we started paying attention, we realised almost every table had at least one or two people drinking something non-alcoholic. That felt very different from when I was younger, when guys would get absolutely ribbed for ordering one.

The difference was that, back then, they tasted terrible, and no one wanted to be associated with them. The perception was that they were only for people with serious drinking problems. Then I'd notice someone who'd started the night with a non-alcoholic beer, and an hour later they'd be having a Castle Draught. I remember thinking, hang on, something different is going on here. That's when it clicked for me.

It wasn't simply about people not drinking anymore. It was that people had started drinking differently. They were becoming more mindful of how they drank—pacing themselves, taking longer breaks between beers, and making more intentional choices.

(Jeff turns to Sfi.)

Jeff: You've just unlocked a memory. I remember years ago we'd be at a bar together, I'd order a beer, and Sfi would say, "I'm not drinking tonight," before grabbing a virgin drink or a non-alcoholic beer. I actually think he was one of the pioneers of drinking differently. It's always been in him.

Sfi: I was reflecting on this earlier. Usually, I won't drink during the first three months of the year. I like to give myself a proper reset because December can be a lot. And in this country, December is more than just a calendar month—it's a mindset, a lifestyle, and a cultural phenomenon.

As a country, our relationship with alcohol is quite fascinating to me. As much fun as we have, things can become a bit toxic too.

What I love about Home by 9 is that it serves as the perfect counterpoint to all of that. It exists to provide the same enjoyment without compromising on that crisp lager taste we all love, while bringing a little more refinement to the art of drinking. It proves that not every night has to be a massive jol you'll barely remember the next day.

That said, it's not about judgement—it's about providing alternatives. We grew up in a culture that said, "Drink, or you're out." But we've watched that culture change significantly, particularly among Gen Z and Millennials, who are redefining what a good night out can look like.

Sfi: That’s a really important point for us. The non-alcoholic aisle is still incredibly small. I don’t want to pretend we’re some kind of hero brand that’s here to convince people to stop drinking or completely reassess their relationship with alcohol. I think people simply want more choice.

As people, we need options. When those options are limited, it’s easy to fall back on what you know—your default setting.

What’s critical for us, though, is that we created a product that fits into our lives, not the other way around. Your life shouldn’t have to adjust because of what a product has done to you.

I started drinking less. Jeff started spending more time doing the things he loves—gardening, hiking, playing pickleball—and we realised we’d found something that genuinely suited our lifestyle.

It’s the simple things you start to appreciate. For me, a hangover-free Saturday is fantastic. Products like ours are for people who want to enjoy their weekends too. It doesn’t mean the socialising has to stop; it just means you have another option.

As someone who’s had an up-and-down relationship with alcohol—and who also started with non-alcoholic beers when I stopped drinking—I completely agree. It feels far less exclusionary now. No one really bats an eyelid the way they used to if you were holding a non-alcoholic beer at a party, say, ten years ago.

Sfi: Facts, bro. Much like decaf coffee, non-alcoholic beer used to get a bad rap. There was this idea that if you’re going to do it, you should do the real thing.

I think there’s still a bit of a stigma when you ask for one. People immediately wonder, “Are you on medication? Are you in recovery?” and so on. But what we’ve learned is that most people were simply looking for an alternative.

Ultimately, it’s the after-effects of drinking that put a lot of people off these days. If you can create an option that doesn’t come with those downsides, while still delivering the same taste and experience, people will naturally gravitate towards it. That was our thinking from the beginning.

In terms of production, as you mentioned earlier, Home by 9 had very humble beginnings in a garage. As demand continues to grow, how are you keeping up?

Jeff: We still have a great setup in our garage, which acts as our distribution centre, and we also have a setup in my dad’s garage in Johannesburg. We’re a small business, so we’re keeping things simple, using what we have, and growing from there.

We’ve built a system that works really well for us in terms of brewing runs, storage, and distribution. It’s lean, but it’s effective.

Sfi: One of the things that’s been most fulfilling is that we’ve funded this entirely ourselves. There’s no institutional or private investment—it’s just Jeff and me, figuring it out together.

That feels very natural to us. We don’t know exactly where this journey will take us, but for now, that garage is a pretty special place.

Growth plans for the year ahead?

Jeff: Growth has happened very naturally, and we’re taking it as it comes. When we launched, I honestly didn’t think things would take off the way they have through Instagram and our website. I thought we’d be sitting with cases of beer in the garage for months, but thankfully that hasn’t happened.

We’re hoping to be very intentional about where we go in 2026. What really guides me is the feeling we’ve managed to create in certain spaces and communities. That’s the part that excites me most.

Sfi: The key to any venture like this is having a good business partner. That was a very Jeff answer, by the way! (laughs)

He’s right though. We put a huge amount of effort in upfront, and the response made it all worthwhile.

What’s most important to us is authenticity. What you see on our brand, on our Instagram page, or anywhere else—that’s genuinely us. We want it to feel like two okes hanging out and having a beer with however many people choose to join us.

We want our growth to feel the same. We’re not interested in forcing ourselves into spaces that don’t feel natural. We’re very intentional about the places and communities we partner with because we want to be present in those spaces. We don’t just drop off product and walk away.

We’re firm believers in community because so much of what got us here came from quiet, consultative conversations with friends who gave us invaluable insights along the way. We want to keep listening to those people because, at the end of the day, they’re the ones buying the beer.

Ideally, we want to be wherever people already are. That’s the most organic way to grow. Fortunately for us, that community-first approach created incredible word of mouth, and that’s what got us to where we are today. In our very first month of business, we sold out—something we genuinely never anticipated.

I actually had a moment recently where I was offered a non-alcoholic beer—which shall remain nameless—and I said to the bartender, who I knew, "Have you heard of Home by 9?"

They were really curious and wrote the name down. I told them they could reach out to you through Instagram or your website. I hope that wasn't too forward!

Jeff: Not at all. That’s exactly what we hope for. When people have a local spot, they know the bartender, and they say, “Have you heard of this?”—that’s the sweet spot for us. Thankfully, we’ve started seeing more of those kinds of conversations as our community has grown.

At this point, Sfi’s friend, acclaimed photographer Keith, weighs in with his own review.

Keith: My introduction to non-alcoholic beer was Bavaria... (the table erupts into laughter). It was all downhill from there. But this actually tastes like a beer. There’s no weird aftertaste or that overly watery flavour you often get with other brands.

Jeff: That was one of the most important things for us. Once we’d made the beer, one of my biggest concerns was whether people would actually enjoy drinking it.

The brand, the story, and everything around it are important, but the taste is fundamental to everything we do.

Well, people are definitely loving the beer. Not long after this conversation, the guys introduced Home by 9 on tap, with kegs rolling out to select venues as they headed into the new year.

It’ll be exciting to see where they go next. Check out their Instagram to follow the journey and see what they’re up to.

Having gone fully independent with both my work and creative pursuits, I now support myself entirely through them.

While South African writers are building a strong and growing community on Substack, the platform has not yet enabled paid subscriptions for creators here, even if the feature is switched on in our settings.

If you’d like to support my work, you can do so via my Yoco link instead of pledging here. Alternatively, feel free to send me a message if you’d like to know more about how you can support what I do.

Thank you for reading. Until the next one. :)

Minna Dundas is a contemporary art curator, writer and programme developer for exhibitions and museums. She can now add cultural compass to that list as her page The Uptick has become the go to for getting familiar with the art scene in Cape Town.

I first met Minna while working together at Art Formes, the contemporary ceramics gallery. We have since crossed paths through other art related endeavours in and around the city. I caught up with Minna over lunch at The Strangers Club to see what she’s been up to and what’s next for the Uptick.

How did you come to start The Uptick?

I felt super inspired by all the incredible artistic activity happening in the city and kept getting asked by friends for advice on which artists and exhibitions they should go see. I realised how difficult it is to access all this information unless you spend considerable time engaging with it directly. So I thought why not put my knowledge and excitement out there for others to share in via instagram.

I was really shy initially though. I’d somehow secure these interviews with artists in their studio, have them in front of me asking, “So where do you want me” or “how should we do this?” But I was just winging it to start with no real idea what I was doing.

I just had to get over the first hurdles of securing an interview and then shaping the questions.

You’ve gotten much more comfortable over time. You’ve really honed the craft and started experimenting with new ideas.

One moment that changed everything for me was when Cathy Abraham completely disarmed me. She was so co-operative: when I got awkward explaining that I needed to film us chatting & walking through her studio, she said, No, no this is what you do and how you work so that’s what we’re going to do. I learned a lot from her, and I felt like she took me seriously.

I took so much more confidence from that and speaking to artists and navigating the whole industry has become increasingly easier.

You’ve become well-versed in writing about art. What comes more naturally to you: writing the introductory pieces or conducting the interviews themselves?

I really really love all the steps of the process: writing, interviewing and then producing the videos - it really is a coming together of what inspires me most.

If you told me even just 2 years ago that I get to chat to South Africa’s most incredible artists, write about them AND communicate their stories in short, snappy (hopefully quite engaging) videos for others to learn from too - I wouldn’t believe you!

In the beginning, every step of the process was incredibly stressful. I was completely winging it. I began by creating a list of my favourite artists who were strongly influencing the scene and built the platform systematically from there.

I was fortunate to already know a few artists around the scene, and that helped introduce me to others who were willing to sit down for a conversation.

You also need credibility and consistency for people to buy into what you’re doing.

Well, you’ve definitely built that credibility. Week in and week out, you’re connecting with artists across the spectrum.

I still have so many people I want to feature, and I know I can, but there’s always that lingering fear that people won’t want to be associated with my “Instagram brand.”

The art world can be incredibly intimidating, and that’s what I’m trying to change—or, if not change, then at least make it more accessible by opening doors into these hallowed spaces that can seem daunting to casual art lovers.

It’s all about engagement. I think there’s space in Cape Town, and South Africa more broadly, for more casual, relaxed conversations with artists about their practice in a way that’s relatable. At the end of the day, they’re just people, but people who create incredible work. Of course I want to unpack that work, but I also want to learn about the person behind it, and how growing up in Cape Town—or wherever they’re from—has shaped their practice.

We’ve spoken before about imposter syndrome and how it dictates the way we move through certain spaces. Where are you with that now?

Quite often I still think, Who am I to be doing this sort of thing? I’m this random 26-year-old British girl trying to champion these incredible local artists. But I’d like to believe I’ve broken through that barrier because of the content itself and the authenticity of the conversations I’m privileged to have with artists from all over the country.

At this point, The Uptick has become so much more than a side project or hobby. Have you managed to create opportunities for yourself through this work?

I definitely want to pursue this as a full-time career in the future. Right now, I’m focusing on building more content and developing another branch of The Uptick, which will remain unnamed for now. I’d love to share more, but I need to build it first!

It’s exciting because it responds to the interest I’ve been getting from people, both locally and internationally, who love the page but also want to learn more about the artists, galleries and upcoming exhibitions. This new direction will hopefully tick that box. Watch this space!

We’ll definitely be watching. Do you have anyone helping you with all of this? If not, where do you find the time? Your output is prolific.

Thank you! I put a lot of pressure on myself. I’m very conscious of staying relevant. You can’t predict the algorithm, but if you’re posting about something like Latitudes Art Fair, you’ve got to publish during the event or immediately afterwards while people are still paying attention. Two or three days later, everyone has moved on to something else. Being seen somewhere and sticking out in the endless cavalcade of content we are exposed to has become more challenging but that’s the curse of social media, I suppose, but it certainly keeps me on my toes and its really satisfying when I am able to cut through the noise, it means I’m doing something right.

Who are some of the artists you’re watching right now?

• Guy Simpson

• Mankebe Seakgoe

• Aaron Philander

• I most recently met both Ntsako Nkuna and Hannah Fleishman at Breakroom, and I think they’ll both go on to do some very curious and exciting things. 👀

Who are the artists you’d love to interview? Your dream list?

One hundred per cent: El Anatsui, Ibrahim Mahama, Zanele Muholi and Moffat Takadiwa.

I also wish Malick Sidibé were still alive—I would have loved to interview him.

And of course, any of the Young British Artists, especially Damien Hirst and Tracey Emin.

She’s not an artist, but I’d also be fascinated to interview Katy Hessel. She’s such a serious operator and has had a monumental impact on the art world by creating new ways for the public to engage with and understand art. I find her incredibly inspiring.

What are you reading?

If I’m not flipping through one of my many books about Jacob Zuma (a weird obsession of mine), I’m probably reading snippets of Katy Hessel’s How to Live an Artful Life. I’m not very good at sitting down and finishing one book at a time these days!

More than anything, though, I find myself listening to podcasts about the chaos of British politics. It makes me feel connected to home, and politics—both British and South African—absolutely fascinates me.

Thank you to Minna for a wonderful chat which also inspired me to continue on my own path with writing and connecting with people from all walks of life. I’m enjoying writing more frequently and meeting new people. Currently working on something that lets me merge the two more regularly.

In the meanwhile, more interviews and long form pieces to follow, have a great weekend.

A lot has been written lately about spatial inequality in Cape Town—and rightfully so. I touched on this two years ago, and unfortunately not much has changed.

What has changed, though, is who is starting to feel it.

There’s another crisis that has been quietly building in the background—one that’s now catching up with upwardly mobile young professionals entering the workforce. And the more I think about it, the more it feels like this might shape the future of the city just as much as anything else.

Lately, discussion around it has been inescapable. From a viral post that, quite honestly, everyone I know in Cape Town had on their Instagram Stories, to an insightful video piece doing the rounds—it has clearly entered the public consciousness. And that’s a good thing.

What’s unfortunate, though, is that after years of writing by locals, sustained activism from organisations like Ndifuna Ukwazi, and a steady wave of systemic displacement across economic lines, it is only now—when it begins to affect more young professionals, notably white ones—that it’s receiving the attention it deserves.

In a continuation of the housing-related content that’s been finding me, a LinkedIn post by a recruitment consultant highlighted the reality of living in a city that constantly suffocates us financially. And yet, if you look around, it still feels like a city full of opportunity—because it is.

The problem is that while jobs exist, compensation is not keeping pace with the financial realities of living here. Rent has skyrocketed in recent years, driven in part by a city government that appears to prioritise development projects and tourism over addressing spatial inequality and the absence of meaningful rent control in high-density areas.

It makes you wonder what it takes for something to really matter here.

I’ve been thinking about my own experience a lot lately. I moved to Cape Town in 2019 with what I thought was a solid foundation—six years in marketing, advertising, agency-adjacent work. Enough, at least, to feel like I was making a considered move.

Even then, everyone told you the same thing: Cape Town is more expensive than Joburg. Plan accordingly.

I did. Or at least I thought I did.

But even back then, it felt tight. Like I was constantly doing mental maths just to make sure everything balanced out at the end of the month. When more than half your salary goes to rent, there isn’t much room left to breathe.

And then COVID happened. And everything shifted.

Since then, I’ve moved into better roles. My salary has gone up—significantly, on paper. About R12,000 more over the last two years. The kind of increase that, in theory, should change your quality of life.

But it hasn’t. Not in the way you’d expect.

If anything, it’s felt like I’ve been running just to stay in the same place. Like every step forward is met with the cost of living taking two steps ahead. You earn more, but you don’t feel better off. You just feel… less behind.

I see the same thing playing out around me.

Mid-weight creatives being told that R32,000 take-home is competitive. And maybe it was—once. But today, it doesn’t stretch the way it needs to. Not when rent, groceries, utilities, and fuel all keep climbing.

The reality is that junior to mid-level professionals probably need closer to R40,000 or R42,000 just to live comfortably in this city. Not extravagantly—just comfortably.

And when that gap isn’t met, something has to give.

Young professionals are now dealing with rental prices they simply cannot meet on their salaries. The result is longer commutes, as they are pushed further to the outskirts in search of affordability—leading to even higher transport costs.

There’s the driving: hours spent in traffic as congestion worsens by the day, with Cape Town motorists losing an estimated 94–96 hours a year sitting in it.

I spent a year driving between the Northern suburbs and Sea Point main road on my work commute, watching in real time as more of the same type of over priced shops opened weekly.

Matcha cafes, smash burger joints and high end grocery stores next to new mid-rise condos that we as locals can’t even begin to look at as a viable option.

There’s a quiet toll that comes with that. Not just financially, but mentally. It wears you down in ways that are hard to measure but easy to feel.

And all the while, you look around and Cape Town still feels like a place full of opportunity. The natural beauty. The industries. The energy. It’s all still here.

That’s what makes it so disorienting. Because the opportunity is real—but access to it feels like it’s narrowing.

What’s especially concerning is the lack of urgency from leadership. When the Mayor—now also the leader of the DA—downplays the need for meaningful inclusionary housing policies and rent affordability, it signals a worrying disconnect from the realities on the ground.

I recently saw a thread noting that 90% of Cape Town households cannot afford to buy property in the city they live in. That means the city is being maintained, cleaned, taught, policed, and built by people who will likely never be able to own a part of it.

And yet, Cape Town is consistently ranked among the world’s greatest cities. Greatest for who, exactly? We have whole towns being 90% foreign owned now.

We exist in a city where a wealthy minority—concentrated in areas like the Atlantic Seaboard—exerts disproportionate influence, preserving a version of the past that excludes the majority, while development continues to cater to external interests.

That, however, is part of a broader conversation—one that also speaks to the apathy that exists along social and racial lines in this city.

I don’t have all the answers. But it’s clear that what we are seeing is not progress—it’s regression for the people who matter most: locals.

Time will tell whether this government will confront an issue that is now affecting the majority of residents—the very people who sustain the economy, yet are being systematically shut out of meaningful advancement.

I’ll end with a few threads I’ve found particularly poignant. It’s become almost impossible to scroll through Instagram without seeing reflections like these. People are talking—and that, at least, offers some hope. The groundswell is growing across different parts of society.

Hopefully, change follows. Because right now, it feels like we’re being asked to accept a trade-off: that development will bring jobs, and that should be enough.

But that argument starts to fall apart when the very people those jobs are meant for can’t afford to live here in the first place.

And at some point, you have to ask—what kind of city are we actually building?

Threads:

realestateroutesa

melusi_k

melusi_k

murrayjamesclarke

Links

Housing Crisis catches up with the middle class

Bo-Kaap Under Siege

Foreigners Spend a R1 billion to live in one city

A Lighter Take

Recently, there have been a lot of significant shifts in my life. Alongside the life-altering experience of raising a child (7 months old now), I’ve also had to grapple with a shifting economic landscape that seems to squeeze every last drop out of us—even when salaries increase (cough, Cape Town), a new career direction and job, changes in my relationship, and revisiting my recovery journey.

There’s a lot to unpack here, which I’ll write about soon. I’ve always used this platform to write honestly about what’s going on in my life. Right now, I’m reckoning with my own flaws and shortcomings—moments where I haven’t been as honest as I could be, haven’t been the partner I want to be, and haven’t handled certain pressures well. It’s complex and layered, but I also have to take responsibility for my decisions.

I’m only human, and I know I’ll find a way to turn the corner and be better. Still, it’s been a tough couple of months—full of highs and lows, though mostly lows. What’s carried me through has been the beauty of my son and watching him grow. The motivation to be better shines through his beautiful big eyes and that all-too-familiar smile, which is quickly becoming a daily fixture.

Despite everything, I’m proud to say I’ve been there for him throughout—and that matters most to me. All I care about is being present, supporting him, and guiding him so he can avoid my mistakes. In many ways, he’s the reason I want to become a better version of myself.

He’s crawling everywhere now, becoming a fully formed, sentient little being. As a friend of mine with two daughters once said, “the moment they go from potato to walking, talking agent of chaos is something to behold—and something you should cherish for as long as possible.”

It’s these moments that give me the strength to get through the darker days. Another friend said to me recently, “discomfort is the price you pay for a fulfilling life.” Right now, my sense of fulfilment comes from the joy of our beautiful creation and the light he brings.

As I’ve been navigating these darker moments and grappling with life’s curveballs, that quote has stayed with me. It’s helped me take a hard look at myself in a way I hadn’t been able to for a long time.

I’ve realised that, in preparing for fatherhood last year, I stopped doing the work we all need to do on ourselves. As much as parenthood demands selflessness, you still have to keep yourself in check—especially when you know your own vulnerabilities.

I didn’t do that, and it affected both my recovery and my relationship. I became complacent, and I have to own that. Amid the self-loathing and shame that can come with relapse, you reach a point where you either sink further or decide to keep swimming.

What matters is how we pull ourselves out of the abyss.

My story is layered, and it’s still unfolding. For now, my focus is simple: get through each day, be present and keep building something meaningful—one day at a time. Watch this space.

That’s all for now. Thank you to those who continue to support my work and my journey—you know who you are.

music getting me through each day -

Pick Yourself Up- Nat King Cole

I Can- Nas

That’s Ok - Jonwayne

The Beginning of The End - Headache

This week I was fortunate to attend the News 24 conference, On The Record. In the age of online subscriptions and the continued decline of print media, News 24 along with the Daily Maverick have made concerted efforts in recent years to create dialogue, support and strengthen investigative journalism and share ideas through their respective conferences.

South Africa is a country that politically, does a lot more talking than doing. That has unfortunately been exemplified by our political landscape. Commission after commission, hearing after hearing, often with no tangible results.

To be fair, our problems are deeply rooted, systemic and cannot be solved in a day but the fact remains that thirty years since the dawn of democracy we have very little to show for it.

On The Records theme this year was aptly titled: 5 Million Jobs In 10 Years. The theme aimed to tackle our biggest challenge at present, unemployment with the idea being that for this country to thrive we need to create 5 million new formal sector jobs in the next 10 years.

Year on year this problem only seems to get worse. There have been some green shoots under Education Minister Siviwe Gwarube, but there is still a long way to go.

On The Record was opened up by notable broadcasters Devi Sankaree Govender and Bruce Whitfield with the Ndlovu Youth Choir kicking things off. Hope was in abundance.

We were also treated to a keynote by President Cyril Ramaphosa which set the tone. We would have hoped to hear more and see him in dialogue with some of the many fantastic panelists but he is of course a very busy man.

Overall it was an agenda that was packed and it always felt like there was too little time to address all the issues of the day, but hosts and panelist alike did well to keep things tight.

The panel To be or not to BEE was very interesting in that it created the kind of diverse conversation which has not really been present in recent times within our political discourse.

Referring to the negative impact BEE has had on business and politics in recent times, Mpumelelo Mkhabela, one of our foremost political analysts and author made one of the most poignant points of the day, saying: “Once you allow for bureaucratic policy, you create furtile grounds for corruption”.

Further to this he said “BEE was driven by the logic of the economy and not to empower black people. The very policy makers who were meant to help became the first ones in line to receive these benefits.”

On transformation agenda he continued: “Where BEE became discredited was that through noble policy which was meant to restore dignity we ended up undermining the needs of the people through cronyism and handing it all over to friends.”

These issues have been endemic in our society for so long and its hard to think of where to even begin tackling them but at least people are.

There seemed to have been a vacuum for years (particularly in the Zuma ones) where all our most pressing issues were swept under the rug or we just accepted it. It’s refreshing to see conversations reignited and seeing the public interest in these matters grow.

Another interesting panel was The heavy cost of crime, a panel which included award winning investigative journalist Jeff Wicks, newly appointed National Director of Prosecutions Advocate Andi Mothibi, criminology professor Irvin Kinnes and Anton Du Plessis, former NPA head and now CEO of Business Against Crime South Africa.

Through the lens of the assassination of Babita Deokaran, this panel analysed the failure of our criminal justice system and in turn, the police to do their jobs and find justice for the families. Not just the families of high profile killings, but the victims of GBV and murder that occur daily.

Discussing the mistakes made in the investigation of Deokaran’s murder, Wicks mentioned the fact that some people, namely police investigators looked the other way when it came to the forensic investigation of her mobile devices, among other missteps.

The thrust of his insight was that this level of corruption and mismanagement “sends a message to every potential whistleblower in the country, either keep quiet or face the consequences”.

Former NPA head, Anton Du Plessis did’nt hold back as he gave a birds eye view based on his experience within our legal justice system over the years.

“South Africa has until 2029 to fix its failing justice system-or risk irreversible collapse”. He continued by outlining how our government does not lack understanding of its crime crisis - “it lacks action.”

One of the standout points for me was made by Kinnes, who highlighted how we need to rethink our understanding of crime and who commits in this country, warning against outdated stereotypes that focus on only poor, young black men.

“We need to start looking at crimes of the powerful,” he said, pointing to corporate scandals like Steinhoff as an example of large scale crime, often overlooked.

Overall, it was an engaging and intense look at some of our most pressing issues. I did not get the chance to see all the panels, and no doubt some of my Joburg friends would have been curious whether they’re a fan or not, to see Helen Zille’s fireside chat addressing what she aims to do to help that city overcome their multitude of problems.

Acclaimed composer Neo Muyanga provided a bit of levity with a thoughtful reflection on how art and music are inextricably linked to our socio-political realities in a very refreshing talk that brought a bit of lightness to proceedings.

I think the conference represented hope in that the dialogue we are having in this country nowadays is much more action heavy and people are starting to do things that have tangible results.

Even if we look at the Presidents recent SONA speech it had a much more positive review across the spectrum than years past. We hope he can follow through on his promises before his tenure ends (that remains to be seen).

However, it feels like somehow despite being our own worst enemy for the past thirty years post democracy, we are actually moving towards something and there’s a unity developing in society.

In light of our history and fractured politics, that’s something to hold onto.

Thanks for reading. Not the most cogent piece but just had to get some thoughts out on the experience. Look out for more updates on fatherhood and I make a return to talking at least a little bit about recovery, which is how Glass Half Full started, stay tuned!

You can thank Louis Theroux for bringing me back to a place of drafting notes and thoughts and then coming here to articulate them. I felt there was no better way to get me back into a writing practice than a piece on just the worst kind people I’ve ever had the displeasure to learn about.

Most internet adjacent people would have seen the acclaimed documentarians latest work Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere which dropped this week on Netflix.

I became aware of the documentary through his feature on a new favourite podcast of mine hosted by British comedian Rojesh Ranganathan. As I patiently wait for a new series of his own fantastic podcast I was surprised to see him pop up as a guest.

Theroux is the sort of media personality who dominates the mainstream for a time and is all everyone talks about through one of his documentaries or viral raps before disappearing for long periods. Well, now we know what he was working on and he’s back with a bang in what I think is one of his most chilling pieces yet.

That’s saying a lot considering his body of work. He has interviewed Neo-nazis where he was almost beaten up, pedophiles (something which comes up in this feature with one of his subjects) , corrupt politicians and infamously, criminals here in South Africa in a clip that was viral before viral was a thing.

Theroux has never shied away from difficult subjects and the personalities that inhabit his work. He has faced criticism for his almost non-plussed and ignorant style of interviewing very controversial figures.

Its part of his whole aura and why he’s become such a sensation over the years. It often works because he is so affable and seemingly baffled as he questions people in a way where they really let their guard down and as a result he gets absolute gold.

In Manosphere, the reality of how internet culture has made everything ubiquitous through a quick google search becomes clear early on as his subjects are on to him and quite guarded initially.

Its reminiscent of how Sacha Baron Cohen can never play Borat again which the comedian realised after his sequel Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm.

A segment early one shows how his subjects have clocked his past work or been notified by their fans about how Louis will do a “hit piece” on them.

Unfortunately, they let their guard down enough for us to see just how toxic the internet and the modern idea of masculinity has become. It kicks off with notorious British streamer Harrison Sullivan, better known as HS Tikky Tokky.

The 23 year old started out as a fitness influencer before realising that the more risque his content is the more money he can make. Sullivan represents everything the Manosphere has come to represent. Misogny, hypocrisy, fraud, vanity and shameless self promotion.

He profits from OnlyFans accounts while calling the women on them disgusting. Look out for an awful exchange with the equally controversial Bonnie Blue. He tells his followers not to watch porn while advertisng it to them on Telegram. He is aware of his own hypocrisy but simply does’nt care.

In one particularly enjoyable exchange Theroux draws a direct comparison by saying if the justification is “I’m making money and my kids will be fine,” how is that different from anyone else rationializing choices they know are’nt good? Sullivan visibly seethes.

Theroux asks him if he’s triggered with a smile and he just about hides his discomfort but its clear throughout this doc that Theroux is very uncomfortable just breathing the same air as these influencers and it was nice to see him be more combative and even more cheeky than his usual ignorant nice guy schtick. At times he pushes back on their contradictions with glee.

I will spare any further details as you just need to watch it for yourself and see the other figures he speaks to like Ed Matthews, Justin Waller, Sneako and Myron Gaines.

All in all I think this idea of misogny as a business model has been allowed to thrive because sadly these guys tap into the the grim reality that stable 9 to 5 jobs no longer guarantee security.

In the Manosphere economic strain, most of which is beyond Gen Z and millenials control is seen as failure. The message is if you’re struggling you have not worked hard enough and that’s the danger these influencers yield.

It is really jarring to see 14-15 year old boys get super hyped up and take photos with Sneako and Sullivan who ultimately don’t care at all about empowering young men and helping them. By Sullivans own admission they are just dollar signs and its really depressing to see the depths they will go to for more views.

One sad but all too common reality is that the majority of these influencers common thread is an absent father. Much has been said and documented on the impact of not having a father and sadly time and time again we see this is still a huge influence in what type of men, boys eventually become. Releasing their trauma in the most heinous ways to an internet culture that says, thats funny, thats ok.

Sullivan had a devoted mother but an absent father who interestingly, was an English Rugby International for close to a decade. Waller also had a difficult childhood in Louisiana with parents who fought constantly and a father who was eventually cut off from seeing him altogether.

As a father I was struck by how I will raise my son in a way that curtails these types of influencers in a fully online world. Not long ago I would have said “increasingly online” but we are there now. We are all chronically online and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.

My son is only six months old but he’s growing up in a world where the idea of manhood and what it means is increasingly toxic and beyond the four walls of our home the reality is kids have access to so much now.

This is exemplified in the doc by a boy who can’t be more than 10 who takes a selfie with Sullivan at the end credits. I felt really ill seeing this. Sullivan is who millions of young boys are exposed to and they’re saying “I want what he has”.

A point Theroux really nails in a subtle but brilliant way in this piece is that we are all unfortunately living within the Manosphere in some way or another, especially given the political climate in Europe and the US at present and understanding what drives them and the real world harm they cause matters, so that we can correct accordingly and learn from it.

I hope this was a coherent return to writing, I just had to talk about it and I’m enjoying the discourse and general backlash to these guys. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Linkfest:

Best of Louis -

The South Africa One, because MALEVEN:

Manosphere Reviews:

Impact on Women

HSTikkyTokky unveiled

Hypocrisy personified

Podcast Appearance

Interesting background on HSTikkyTokky in this very enjoyable Theroux podcast feature

It is a significant moment after what has been a years-long, sustained xenophobic attack on both documented and undocumented foreigners, ranging from Nigerians, Zambians, and Zimbabweans, among others, since 2021.

Founded in 2021 by Nhlanhla “Lux” Dlamini on the basis that migrant groups were to blame for the economic challenges wrought by Covid-19. Dudula’s sole mission has been a violent and destructive one, disrupting the lives of migrants whose only goal has been to create a better life for themselves.

To fully understand movements like Operation Dudula, we must recognise that their logic did not originate in the 21st century. The language of belonging and exclusion they deploy — who is a “real South African,” who is an “outsider,” whose labour is legitimate — is the afterlife of a colonial project that invented rigid boundaries between African peoples.

Colonialism forged a racial order, but it also produced a nationalist and nativist logic among the colonised: a belief that security, dignity, and opportunity must be policed through exclusion. Dudula is, in many ways, the modern performance of an old colonial script.

Reading about Operation Dudula over the last few weeks reminded me of the words of Dr Amos Wilson:

“Under white supremacy, Black people must be weaponised to destroy each other. Some in refined ways and others in overtly violent ways.”

Daily Maverick’s Caryn Dolley wrote about the unwanted global attention Operation Dudula has brought to South Africa recently.

South Africa’s porous borders have long been an issue which our government has systematically failed to deal with since the Mbeki era and Operation Dudula has weaponised that to oppress people from neighbouring countries who are trying to live in harmony and who often stand out as some of the most hard working citizens among us.

Many of them have carved out a good life here, punctuated by violent xenophobic flare ups most notably in 2008, resulting in 62 deaths, 1,700 injured and about 100,000 displaced. However, to understand the root cause of xenophobic and black on black crime, we need to take a step back and assess key events in our history shaped by our early tribes over a hundred years ago.

The Bhambatha Rebellion is not simply an example of colonial violence; it is a blueprint for how colonial powers cultivated distrust, competition, and violence among African communities.

By deliberately fragmenting Zulu authority, imposing taxes, and elevating compliant chiefs, colonial administrators produced the earliest forms of what we now call nativism: Africans policing Africans under conditions of scarcity created by empire.

I wish to view these issues through the lens of the Rebellion, an uprising which ultimately helped strengthen white supremacy and consolidate colonial power in Kwa-Zulu Natal. I also wish to frame black on black violence as part of systemic issues in our past initiated by the oppressor.

In 1879, after a lengthy incursion over a period of one hundred years by the British deeper into South Africa which culminated in the Ninth Frontier War (1877-1878) against the Xhosas in the Eastern Cape, a chain of seismic events took place which would shake the foundations of the Zulu nation as well the colonial powers that started it all.

There is so much more to unpack but for the sake of levity I will stick to some key moments and dates which triggered wide scale civil war and and an environment which cultivated infighting, bad blood and fractured black communities in a way we still see permeate culture today.

The first seismic event I refer to would be the Battle of Isandlwana on January 22 1879, fought between King Cetshwayo’s Zulus and Lord Chelmsfords imperial forces.

The battle was precluded by a dodgy ultimatum issued to the Zulus by the British High Commissioner Sir Bartle Frere.

During his reign, Frere continued the imposition of the widely unpopular confederation of Southern African countries which was a way to unite the region under British control. He saw the Zulus continued self-reliance as a threat to Britains imperial aspirations in the country.

A year before the battle a pro-Zulu official named Henry Bulwer who was disturbed by the gross interference in Zulu affairs by the British government, decided to set up a Boundary commission to ascertain who had tenure to land which the British claimed they were entitled to.

Other portions of land were also claimed by the Boers east of Blood River. After decades of living comfortably alongside each other relations between the Zulus and Boer settlers had become tense too. Their claim was also reviewed by the commission.

Surprisingly that commission found in favour of the Zulus. Sadly though, the document was banished to Bulwer’s bottom drawer at the behest of Frere who used delays in mail communication between London and South Africa to bypass the colonial offices wishes that no conflict be commenced with South Africa.

On the 11 December 1878 the British Government in South Africa presented an ultimatum to King Cetshwayo’s Izinduna (senior representatives). They met at the base of a huge sycamore tree near the Tugela river. The tree sadly died and was a special place to contemplate the fate of our country. The site can still be visited today.

The Zulus were plied with a little grog and a hearty lunch (no doubt to soften the blow which was to follow) before being read the findings of the commission.

The conditions of the Ultimatum included the disbandment of the Zulu Army and requested that King Cetshwayo swear allegiance to Queen Victoria – conditions which were unacceptable to the Zulus and designed for non-compliance – war broke out one month later.

Fast forward to the Battle of Isandlwana on 22 January 1879. British confidence was high after their successful campaigns in the Eastern Cape. Lord Chelmsford failed to account for the Zulu’s tactical prowess, inherited from the Shakan era.

Chelmsford famously decided not to laager (encircle the camp with wagons defensively) and it is this British arrogance that lead to their downfall.

The Zulus tore through the camp and they were overrun. The surviving British soldiers tried to cross the Buffalo River to the Natal side for safety. Many were chopped down on this trail, now known as Fugitives drift.

Later that day across the river the battle of Rorkesdrift took place. Here, a small band of 150 mostly injured and sick British and Welsh troops somehow managed to fight off an attack by about 3,000 Zulus, restoring some semblance of dignity and sparing some blushes back in London.

In the intervening months, the British sent reinforcements as a fractured Zulu nation who had now suffered two heavy defeats (at Khambula and Gingindlovu) scrambled to strengthen their forces.

Ultimately, on the 3rd of July the Zulus were overran at the Battle of Ulundi in what was the death knell of the Zulu nation. King Cetshwayo fled upon hearing the news and was to spend the remaining years of his life on the run. He was later captured and exiled to the Cape and London respectively.

He became quite a hit in London and the public were surprised by his dignified manner. He even had an audience with Queen Victoria in the Isle of Wight which lead to his return to Zululand in 1883.

Unfortunately, he had been stripped of most of his power and now held very little sway over Zulu affairs, except among a few remaining loyalists and his people. He was the last Zulu King to be recognised as such by the British Government and died under mysterious circumstances in 1884 in Eshowe.

Post the Anglo-Zulu war as the British consolidated their power, Zululand was split into thirteen districts, installing pro-British chiefs in each district. It is at this point that some Zulu leaders lost sight of any form of kinship with their people and it became every man for himself.

What followed for the Zulu people were years of instability and factional infighting among clans.

In the years after the Second Boer War ended in 1902, the British Colony in Natal had difficulty recruiting Black farmers due to increased competition from gold mines in the Witwatersrand.

A poll tax of £1 (equivalent to R3000 in 2025) was imposed in addition to the existing hut tax to pressure Zulu men into entering the labour market. The tax was very regressive and disproportionately affected poorer households. This was also exacerbated by the 1897 epidemic which wiped out 90% of local cattle.

This is the crucial through-line to the present. Colonial administrations engineered artificial scarcity, then blamed Africans for the violence that scarcity produced. Today, the South African state inherits that economy of scarcity — unemployment, inadequate welfare provisioning, and a fragile labour market.

Groups like Operation Dudula simply reinterpret colonial scarcity through a nationalist lens: “foreigners are taking what is ours.” The targets have changed, but the structure remains the same.

That same year , King Dinuzulu Ka Cetshwayo (his son), who had been exiled to Saint Helena was allowed to return to South Africa by the British. Rumours circulated he was planning a rebellion to restore African rule and expel white settlers from the region.

Young Zulu men were emboldened to unite due to the poll tax and the impact it had on their economic prospects and freedom. Some elders tried to negate the rebellion but many supported it. By 1906 demonstrations began at poll tax stations which resulted in the death of two police constables.

As a result, martial law was now imposed by colonial authorities and thats when the trouble started. Bhambatha, a troublesome figure for Natal colonial authorities was summoned to Greytown as he had been suspected of being the ringleader of the protests. He fled to Dinizulus Palace to consult with him.

When he returned he realised he had been deposed as chief. He launched a series of guerilla attacks on colonial forces, using Nkandla Forest as a base. Natal authorities mustered all the soldiers and policemen they could along with requesting assistance from the Transvaal and Cape colonies.

What emerged in this period was a colonial nationalist logic — not nationalism in a liberatory sense, but a system where “the nation” was defined and policed from above.

The British restructured Zululand into districts with appointed chiefs, creating new political identities and boundaries. These boundaries pressured communities to compete for recognition, resources, and survival.

Over time, the colonised internalised these categories, turning them into the seeds of later ethnic and territorial nationalism.

On 10 June, McKenzie’s troops surrounded Bhambatha’s rebels at Mome Gorge. As the sun rose, they attacked the poorly-armed rebels and inflicted heavy casualties on them. It was reported that Bhambatha was killed in action by McKenzie’s forces, but this claim was disputed by his supporters, who believed that he fled to Portuguese Mozambique.

Known for being one of the 10,000 Zulu warriors to guard Shaka’s mother’s grave for a year, he is also remembered as an inspiration to many South Africans during the anti-apartheid movement.

Over the rest of 1906, the rebellion’s bloodiest phase saw colonial forces engage in indiscriminate counterinsurgency operations to stamp out any perceived resistance.

Between 3,000 and 4,000 Zulus were killed, while more than 7,000 were imprisoned and 4,000 flogged; 36 colonial soldiers died. The rebellion’s suppression cost the Natal colonial government £883,576 (equivalent to R15 000 000 in 2025).

The rebellion led to an uptick in support among white colonists in Southern Africa for uniting the various colonies in the region in order to maintain white supremacy. The Union of South Africa was subsequently formed in 1910.

Three years after the formation of South Africa, another significant law dealt a massive blow to the African population, The Native Land Act. This further entrenched the subjugation, socio-economic challenges and prejudice which would later be fully realised through Apartheid.

It is astonishing to think that the Native Land Act was only repealed in 1991, the year I was born and the year that negotiations begun to form a new constitution.

Concurrently with this, some of the most violent fighting and blood letting of the Apartheid era occured. Fighting between the Inkatha Freedom Party (IFP) and the African National Congress (ANC) primarily occurred in the early 1990s, escalating significantly in 1990 as formal negotiations for a new government began.

The violence spread from the Natal province to urban areas like the Pretoria region and continued with fluctuating intensity until the first democratic elections in 1994 and the subsequent restoration of relative calm. It is estimated that 20,000 people were killed in what was the worst civil war the country had seen.

It calls to mind the words of CL Bryant who said: “The greatest danger to the lives of young black men are young black men.”

Just under ninety years on from the Rebellion and the native Land Act being implemented, South Africa was still afflicted by tribal and factional violence.

We have a responsibility to not just label these stories as black on black violence. That view belies the fate of so many black Africans who experienced systemic legal and economic terrorism.

These systems were designed to foster dependency, exploitation and powerlessness which in turn, can lead to destructive behaviour as seen during the Bhambatha Rebellion, later Apartheid uprisings and factional Inkatha vs ANC battles.

I don’t have the answers on how we fix this. Creating a dialogue is a start but we will need to hold our leaders, journalists and other public actors accountable.

One thing that became clear as I wrote this is that we as a country still have so many wounds to heal from. Although its been thirty one years, its still hard to separate the legacy of the past and reconcile that with where we are now.

Operation Dudula’s xenophobia is not merely contemporary anger — it is a nativist response shaped by colonial precedents. The British taught African subjects to see belonging as a scarce resource and to defend it against “outsiders,” whether those outsiders were neighbouring clans, rival chiefs, or later, migrant labourers displaced by colonial restructuring.

The nationalist logic of exclusion embedded in the colonial state survived into apartheid and now reappears in democratic-era street movements. Dudula is colonial nationalism in new clothing.

Despite everything, we are eternal optimists in this country and perhaps more levity is needed if not for our own sanity then for the hopes and dreams of those who will follow.

As a fellow scribe on this platform noted, there is a significant vibe shift taking place post the G20 conference a few weeks ago.

While the gains are few and far between as the year ends its good to know there are any at all.

As every year draws to a close we are all reminded of certain words and terms that have become part of the lexicon of life. These of course reflect where society is at. In recent times a lot of Gen Z terminology has dominated the discourse.

In 2024 we had demure, manifest and enshittification to name a few. All popularised on social media. 2023 was the year rizz, deepfakes and swifties were ubiquitous.

2025 has brought on a few terms with darker undertones than years past. So far we have parasocial, vibe coding and brain rot. These are themes we are seeing play out in the real world.

Reality tv shows have thrived and become an empire defined by the dangerous parasocial relationships its fans build with their stars. Vibe coding reflects the major shift in the tech industry towards AI assisted development. Brain rot encapsulates the degradation of our mental faculties due to the decrease in quality content on the internet.

However, a standout for me and the most morbid of these which has not been talked about as much is the term job hugging. Behind the cutesy name is a grim reality I’ve seen play out with many friends and colleagues the last year or so.

Job hugging is the act of clinging to your job due to fear of reentering the dismal job market, economic uncertainty and the difficulty finding better opportunities. I have seen countless harrowing stories this year, primarily on Linkedin, the workplace social media platform which is usually filled with a lot of optimism.

But for every cringe tech bro post about a proposal to your girlfriend and using that to segue into “what it taught me about B2B sales” is a growing unease among many Millenials and GenZers who feel overlooked and undervalued by an increasingly callous job market.

Many companies are posting jobs they know they’ll never fill, providing job specs that require the work of three people for the pay of a single role. Then there is the very real threat of termination in favour of AI agents who can do your job faster and in some cases more efficiently.

In addition to this you have highly impersonal interviews where you might not meet an actual human until at least the third phase of a six round process. Meanwhile, AI parses your CV and tells the recruiter whether you’re a fit or not before you’ve even met them.

A friend recently shared on Linkedin how she was ghosted by a company after what seemed like two successful rounds of interviews. She was ghosted on the third call they booked with her and never heard from them again:

“On the day I joined the meeting on time. Five minutes passed then ten, then fifteen. I messaged the analyst saying I was in the meeting and waiting.

Thirty minutes later, still nothing. No reply, no reschedule just silence. After 4 weeks I received a generic email from HR saying the company was no longer filling the role.

No explanation. No closure. Just business as usual on their side, and a lesson for me.”

Like the companies, job seekers have had to develop a thick skin and crack on. Having experienced this myself in recent years my concern lies with the toll all of this takes on a person mentally. Job seeking can be a lonely process often shrouded in secrecy as mostpeople cite not wanting to jinx their prospects or concern family or partners with the in-betweenness of it all.

Whilst job hugging, people carry the burden of almost constant rejection, CV rewrites, lengthy online application forms, video submissions introducing yourself to a screen (very rarely a person nowadays) meanwhile the clock is ticking as you punch a clock in your 9 to 5 dreaming of better days.

I’ve been seeing more and more people post transparently on Linkedin about their struggles. Many of them clinging on to jobs or trying to re-enter the market:

The job hugging phenomenon is interesting in that it is the complete opposite of what we saw just after the pandemic. As the world opened up again in 2021 millions were emboldened by another familiar term, ‘the great resignation’ whereby people walked away from their jobs confident they would find jobs again, and they did.

Those days are long gone and no matter who you are, or your socio-economic status, you or someone you know are are affected by a fluctuating economy, the rising cost of living and a dearth of opportunities which provide more security than you already have.

It is not simply an issue of disengagement but one of growing insecurity and it needs very strategic intervention from recruitment companies and employers. Job hugging is ultimately not beneficial to the employee or the company. It fosters complacency across the board.

One of the main issues about job hugging is that people in it have lost their sense of purpose. When year on year people feels like they are not growing financially or in their career trajectory overall, its hard to show up as their best self.

To combat this stagnancy companies need to make people feel less like cogs in a profit machine and more like they are part of something greater. They need to be let in and shown how their work impacts the world, for better or for worse.

A jobs meaning has been lost on a lot of people and in a post covid world has become about the art of survival. I feel very fortunate in the current climate to have a sense of stability, to enjoy what I do and have great dynamic colleagues. The problem is the scale has tipped towards many more people not feeling the same as we grapple with highly unsatisfied workforces globally.

I can’t claim that finding job satisfaction has been easy after years of uncertainty and job hopping, a uniquely millenial affliction. I got there in the end and I sincerely hope many more of my peers will go from job huggers to job lovers soon.

Until then, many will clock in, clock out, smile and wave. In a fluctuating economic climate at least they have something to hold onto.

Some stray links:

A snapshot of the challenges engineers currently face entering the job market. Where it used it to be a competitive climate against other humans some industries have pivoted to all entry-level functions being done by AI.

In another grim finding, I hope this is not where we the working world is headed, yikes…

Some say this is the new normal, I say this is how work cultures always been. A humorous look at performative productivity.

A light way to end in a great scene from one of the definitive works of art on corporate culture. Funny (or scary depending who you ask) how this film reflects work culture across industries and still holds up today.

Anton Taylor is a South African actor, comedian, instagram star and activist.

Many of you will know him from his role as the harmless property bro Darren in the hugely successful Showmax series Tali’s Wedding Diary & subsequent sequel Tali’s Baby Diary respectively.

Off the back of that he’s made South Africans laugh daily with his viral skits and social commentary on the melting pot that is South Africa. Through this work he has endeared himself to millions. His love for our beautiful, twisted country always shines through.

He has also used his platform to speak up on more serious issues both politically and personally, which is something I really appreciate in a media landscape that often wants us to be only one thing and stay in a certain lane.

He’s been a great inspiration to me through the transparency he’s shown on his journey with drinking. While we both have slightly different reasons for quitting, this very substack was born out of my own journey and I’ve always related to the many overlaps with Anton in our respective schooling and social backgrounds.

I chat to him about this and much more below.

1. Hey Anton. First things first thanks for doing this, I know you’re a busy man! You’re someone who’s often on the move. What have you got going on right now work or otherwise?

   I’ve been lucky enough to work on a few filming projects late, and I’ve had some MC events which have been a lot of fun. I’ve collaborated on a video with Politically Aweh – which is a superb politcal satire channel. I’ve got a white collar boxing match coming up, so the past few weeks I’ve been exercising and focusing on getting into a good rhythm.

2. I’ve always been curious about this. Were you meant to get into entertainment and acting? I get the sense its something you sort of fell into due to your outgoing nature and the cult like persona you built up at Uni. Were you on a different path in the UCT days to where you are now?

   I think I was always meant to get into entertainment. My mom studied to be an actress, and my maternal grandparents met at an amateur theatre production. I always loved making people laugh, and at school I was involved in theatre and public speaking. In fact, my school’s strong extra mural focus on the arts was what gave me the confidence to believe I could work in the space. At UCT, I studied English and other majors with the idea that I would be able to create content that I would appear in.

   

3. There is so much I’d love to unpack with you in person on this but one of the ways you’ve really inspired me over the years is your sobriety journey.

   I really relate to your approach and how you have’nt made it your identity but rather a way of thinking in relation to what you want to achieve in life. Eight years is really inspiring, well done!

   
   We also have very similar schooling backgrounds where I feel drinking is quite endemic and part of the adolescent experience, often to a fault.

   
   It seems like an obvious question because we can see how you’ve reaped the rewards over the years but just how much did that decision change your life?

   Stopping drinking was one of the most significant events of my life. To be honest, I never had a drinking problem, but was rather partying hard in the same way that my peers used to. As you say, in South Africa we have a deep drinking culture, and in particular many of use binge drink. That was the case for me. I decided to stop drinking for a month to try it out, and I felt so good that I just continued. The benefits just add up upon themselves. When you start each Monday at 100% your level of productivity is just so much greater. In the past, I’d be recovering from the weekend for a couple days, and I’d only have a few days to achieve my goals before I started all over again. After stopping drinking, I had an incredibly successful and prosperous year: I filmed Tali’s Wedding Diary, got a job as rugby commentator for Supersport, lost 15kg, finished my Masters, and competed in and won my first amateur boxing match. After that I was never going to turn back.

4. You were recently the target of one errant and under fire police minister (Senzo Mchunu) in a farcical and illegal search of your home due to a skit you did making fun of him.

   How important was it for you to speak out like you did and is that whole episode done and dusted?

   South Africa has a strong culture of people speaking their minds, and unlike many countries across the world, we enjoy the freedom to criticise our leaders. In this way, the Hawks raiding me was an aberration that goes against everything the country stands for.

   I was heartened by the public response to my raid, and it made me think that we still have a very strong civic society and that we will fight for our right to speak freely.

   In terms of the case, the prosecutors declined to prosecute Senzo Mchunu’s charge against me and threw it out. So I’m well in the clear. I’m not sure if he will receive a punishment or rebuke for his actions against me in particular, but again,

   I am heartened to see that he is being taken to task in the Madlanga Commission. I hope that he will be sacked permanently from his position.

5. We have one of the grimmest news cycles around every day.

   People like you are an essential cog in the South African way of laughing at ourselves to deal with our problems.

   What else do you think is essential to keeping us sane?

   Speaking from the position of a privileged and well-off person, I think that all too often in South Africa we can get caught up with political issues and news headlines, and forget to appreciate the amazing quality of life that we have. Crime, unemployment and service delivery issues (to name but a few) are a very daily and real problem for most South Africans. But when I speak to South Africans who are dealing daily with these issues, they always seem to be able to find joy in life. This is in stark contrast to the many middle-class South Africans who spend a lot of time complaining about the problems of country. I think that a sense of community, and indeed Ubuntu, is critical to maintain both hope and joy in one’s life.

6. What are you reading or watching at the moment?

   I am busy watching The Studio on Apple. My favourite TV series of this year was Severance, which I absolutely loved. The last few books I read are: The Virgin Suicides, The Devil in the White City, Goodnight Tokyo and The Heart’s Invisible Furies. Today I actually finished reading Finding Endurance by South African writer Darrel Bristow-Bovey, which I thought was fantastic.

   ---

   Such an insightful chat. I did link it above but to check out the aforementioned video Anton did with Politically Aweh click here . They are doing some great investigative work laced with brilliant satire in between.

   Here’s their latest sit down interview with the mayor of Cape Town on the rental crisis the city is currently facing.

   Also, I agree with Anton, Severance is brilliant. The Studio is also fantastic. It cleaned up at the Emmys recently and is a really refreshing takedown/analysis of the current state of Hollywood. Watch it on Apple TV or wherever you kids download things these days.

   
   Till the next one guys :)

   ---

Hello everyone, greetings from the trenches :) As the 6 week mark approaches we are exiting one of the first tricky periods new parents face and beginning to find our rhythms and slowly coming back to ourselves.

Growth spurts and a developing digestive system among other things make this an unpleasant time for baby but the worst is past us.

Pace yourself - One thing we have learnt is to really go easy on ourselves. One thing new parents don’t realise is how much the schedule and rhythms you had before change completely. They don’t disappear but they’re just different.

Don’t try to do too much in these early weeks. Rest as much as possible in between feeds, playtime and naps.

Try stay rooted to home as much as possible. We learnt the hard way through trial and error those small outings that used to be nothing to you become quite exhausting at this stage.

Don’t kill yourself if you can’t get out for that run or get that one chore you’ve been meaning to do in town done. Take a step back and listen to your body and your brain although believe me, they will tell you when you’re doing too much.

Time Management - Further to the above, your windows of time to do certain things are exponentially smaller with baby around. So be very thoughtful about how you spend time outside of baby care.

I’ve aimed to spend as much time home as possible to help my partner where and when possible outside of work hours whilst also making sure that the things which are important to my mental and physical health are not compromised.

This will change every couple of weeks due to changes baby is going through but once you get used to those rhythms you can suss out when to do certain things.

For example, I try to go for a run or that mission to the shops when baby is down and my partner is also resting so that by the time he wakes I’m back and able to help out.

Look after yourself - Understandably, in those early weeks your focus is on keeping this little being alive and by the third week you start to build confidence.

Everything you were stressing about before like nappy changes, the sounds baby makes, and in my partners case, feeding and latching start to ease slightly.

Embrace the renewed confidence that comes during this time as you’ll need that strength for what’s ahead in week 6. Make sure you are doing what you need to do to regulate yourself.

Whether thats a walk, time to pursue your hobbies/side hustles or reading a book it goes a long way in rejuvenating your mind and grounding yourself so you can be the best possible support to your partner as well.

I love this clip from Sonny Bill Williams, two time world cup winner with the All Blacks, where he shares his morning routine during Ramadan and what he needs to do as an individual first, in order to be the best version of himself for his family.

“When your cup is full, filling those close to you becomes a pleasure, not a hassle”.

Accept Change - There are certain inalienable truths in life. Prices will rise, politicians will philander and you too will get old.

One of the biggest truth shifts that happens post baby is friendship dynamics. I’ve written about changing friendships before here.

Don’t get me wrong friendships still exist, but they will change as your social dynamics get split between friends who have kids and friends who don’t.

To be fair I have many friends without kids who are super engaged and interested in our boys life. We are lucky, as our community of friends across the board have shown all the love.

Accept the fact that you will not be invited to as many things, if at all. People know you are in a new phase of life, a beautiful and rewarding one and that’s ok.

When the time is right you and your partner will get to do things, and you’ll probably enjoy them much more. There will always be that concert, friends hang or match to go to in the future.

Be Present - Not much to add here. Just be in the moment and focus on whats in front of you. Especially as a dad your primary concern is to be available and present for your partner and the baby to the best of your ability.

When you get back from work put your phone down for an hour or two and spend that time with them, carry baby while Mama gets to stretch because remember that depending on what your work dynamics are she’s been nursing, feeding and everything else in between with the child all day.

I have had to learn and unlearn certain habits and every day is a work in progress. My relationship with screens is something I’m still working on but have also come a long away with over the years.

My biggest regret would be to miss my sons first words or steps because I’m doom scrolling mindlessly on the gram.

I hope some of these learnings of mine resonate. Its a daunting and life altering experience, but honestly the best thing you will ever do.

All the anxieties, sleep deprivation and difficulty melt away when you see your child pretty much every second of every day.

It’s a beautiful, humbling and growth filled experience. Remember in the difficult times, that it won’t be forever.

More dad chronicles, among other things swirling in this very busy, overtired brain coming soon.

As I write this its been one week and one day since my son was born. I have wanted to write here more regularly but life had other plans in recent months.

Between preparation for a child and increasing responsibility at work I found it hard to find the capacity or energy.

Don’t get me wrong, good things are happening lately, which I am so grateful for but writing requires a certain brain space and energy I just did’nt have access to this last little while. You may be wondering how I have the energy now?

I believe you find the time to do the things you love and I’ve found myself inspired and creatively energised by my this momentous shift in my life. I have also had so many thoughts and learnings I felt should be put to paper. Some are worth sharing and some are just for me.

Below are my learnings in the first week of fatherhood that apply to parents in generally but also my fellow dads to be specifically. These are not prescriptive, each to his own as they say but when it comes to parenthood, community and seeking advice are highly recommended.

I hope these resonate for young parents and parents to be. Please leave any other insights in the comments if you have any :)

Don’t Panic - In the first days and week you really have no clue what you’re supposed to do. Its like everything you read about in the build up and the baby related reels you saved on instagram disappear from memory. The baby will guide you and as each day passed you start to get what they want and slowly decipher what each grunt, yelp or cry means.

Be Patient - As the dad, you very quickly realise how little you matter in the scheme of things. Not that your not important but just know that the mother is the closet thing to the comfort of the womb they’ve had and so they will spend 98% of their time on or with her for comfort and feeding. That’s ok.

Your job early on is to help your partner in any way possible. Feed her (as she mostly has no hands available in the early days), make sure she has water ALWAYS, bring her tea and provide nourishing comfort meals that help her body as it recovers from the trauma of child birth, so soups, broths, hearty pastas e.t.c.

Big thanks to my partners mom who came through with some incredible, soul warming meals in the last week that truly saved our lives.

Skin on Skin - You will get your bonding time. We learnt from an amazing specialist about the importance of skin on skin and how it helps regulate baby in a way that impacts everything else you do with them.

Imagine the baby as a electrical chord without insulation. Babies are basically a little ball of nerves and highly sensitive in the first 3 months. Breastfeeding is the key ingredient building that insulation and strength. It goes without saying, handle with the utmost care, and if you have poor circulation like me always warm your hands before touching them.

Try relieve your partner by taking baby for soothing so she can go shower, stretch and recuperate by placing them on your chest. At first it will be patchy and they will cry for mommy but as the days go by they will respond to you and get comfortable. By Day 5 my boy was comfortably sleeping on me for longer periods.

Get a Yoga Ball - This saved us so much for soothing. Babies respond very positively to the bouncing motion. Only on day 6 did we start using it to soothe and he fell asleep within minutes every time. Nice way to calm him before going back to mom for feeding. Always remember that a crying baby won’t feed. Save yourself and partner a lot of energy by making sure baby is calm before feeding.

Chat GPT is your friend - I’m not in the habit of prescribing AI for various reasons but it really does help give you some calming answers when you get in a panic (this will happen) and baby is making weird sounds or not doing things you think they should. The reassurance it can give you when you’ve been woken in the dead of night contemplating calling the midwife is invaluable.

Always double check with an actual professional if it seems more serious. Call or message your Doula or Midwife.

Sleep when baby sleeps

Do yourself a favour, and align yourself with the rhythm of the baby. My partner and I learnt the hard way about regulating our time and preserving energy as best we can.

Take every possible second when baby is in a restful state to sleep. Even if it ends up being only 10-15 minutes you won’t believe how much those quick naps help when you’re in the trenches in the early hours. Overall, you will adapt to the loss of sleep quite quickly and find yourself in autopilot as your body adjusts.

I will follow up with more insights as the weeks go by, as well as a bit of our pregnancy journey and birth story. It’s good to be back!

As I write this, I find myself numb. Numb to another grim week of news in this country, which frankly we’ve become all too accustomed to.

Another week of seeing extraordinary South Africans take to the streets to advocate for things they should not have to. Raising awareness on things which people in government are mandated to do.

Most of you will be aware of the outpouring of anger, grief and despair which has permeated South African society in the last week. Three days ago, we came to learn of Cwecwe, an 8 year old girl who was raped at Bergview College in the Eastern Cape in October 2024. She was attacked on the school premises while waiting for her transport.

The caretaker, driver and principal were considered suspects. The latter refused to co-operate with authorities by refusing to provide DNA samples, intimidated the mother and falsely placed blame on her. Eventually, he co-operated but not before a bitter back and fourth had taken place.

We can get into the minutiae of the case as we have had to do time and time again or we can ask some hard questions. Where is the accountability? From the school, to the police, politicians and last but not least from men in this country.

The fundamental lack of it at all levels reflects the precipice we are on where men continue to act with impunity and cruelty and largely get away with it because of a failed system and the sheer lack of political will to do anything about it by our elected officials.

We only found out about Cwecwe because of the work of a vital Matatiele NGO, called Holekane Women’s Support Organisation who picked up the case in November 2024.

Speaking to eNCA, the organisations founder Nomvula Qola, said that their work on the case was hampered by several setbacks, including inefficient investigations by the police and the school's lack of cooperation.

"The investigation officer hadn’t met with the family, witness statements hadn’t been taken, and the school hadn’t reported the incident to the Department of Education."

The problem starts when key state organisations can’t conduct even the most basic investigative processes efficiently. The fact that they, and we as a country are so inundated with these cases speaks to a much larger issue.

Between 2018 and 2024, in the Eastern Cape alone, rape accounted for a staggering 45.9% of all reported crimes against children, while nationwide the figure stood at 38.3%.

We have a crisis where our women and children are not safe and increasingly they wonder “will I be next?” which was an actual comment I saw on one of the posts about this case online. Its an indictment on where our society is at and where our young boys and men are too.

While the government and police need to get their act together, it all goes back to my question above, where do we begin? How do we shape young boys into men who respect themselves and in turn others? A growing number of boys have significantly less father figures in their orbit.

That is significant because although it is well documented how important both parental figures are in the household, not enough has been said about the impact that having no positive male figures has on them. Positive male role models for boys have dwindled significantly.

In terms of fatherlessness, its been shown that the absence of a father on a boy causes depressive symptoms, whereas the absence of a father on a girl does not. Overall, data shows that boys have begun to show less resilience in life than their female counterparts. Self-esteem, confidence and tolerance for others decline as a result.

This is not to say that girls are bulletproof in cases of extreme trauma but there has been a steep decline in what boys are able to cope with emotionally and the results when that has not been recognised or dealt with later on are what we are seeing play out in society now.

Essentially, we need to give boys very specialised care in those scenarios of fatherlessness but we’ve been conditioned to believe that “boys are tough and they can handle it” and throw around outdated terms like “boys will be boys” when actually they need to be guided way more and feel like they can share their feelings and be provided with healthy coping mechanisms.

Social workers can only do so much, mothers can only do so much and so I think we really need to interrogate how men in this country can play a more active role in guiding young boys particularly at critical junctures in their adolescence. When it comes to raising kids, they say it takes a village. Men in this country need to do that collectively for our boys, now more than ever.

I’m not saying that only men who did’nt have a father figure are perpetrators of crimes against women and children. There are many other key drivers of GBV but there is definitely a correlation in many cases we’ve seen play out in this country and these kind of conversations are a starting point.

I begun this piece thinking I could provide some solutions, but I don’t have all the answers. All I want to do is start talking and do something, using the knowledge I have and continue to gain on this, among many other issues in this country. All I know is that the work to fix this starts with men.

As a man I am far from perfect and I’m using my own learnings to shape these conversations. I encourage anyone to write to me and lets have a dialogue.

I will end this with a poignant excerpt on justice as it relates to Cwecwe by the hugely talented and essential lawyer, writer and activist of our times, Lwando Xaso which sums it all up.

“Perhaps criminal justice may be possible. But quite often criminal justice is not justice at all.

Justice is so much larger than criminal justice.

Justice would be a changed culture.

True justice would mean this is the last time this happens to any child. In honour of Cwecwe, true justice would mean “never again”. Nothing less than that.”

Some key links which informed my thinking on this which are worth a read, a watch and a listen.

Lwando Xaso needs to introduction. Please check out her hugely impactful work on incuding_society.

Women For Change SA - EVERYTHING they do is vital.

Keep The Energy - Equally so, a critical page which should never have to exist.

Dan corder talks about the senselessness of it all.

An informative podcast on the issues with masculinity and young men at present.

Statement by SoWeVote.

Humans Narrative powerful imagery of heroic protesters marching for justice in Cape Town this week.

More striking visuals from Protest Aspraxis.

Tendani Mulaudzi is a writer, wellness advocate and journalist.

We have known each other for years through mutual connections. In recent times it dawned on us that we must have crossed paths unknowingly as our respective schools intermingled at various social events.

It was in those hazy carefree days we both began our journey with alcohol which was to later, lead us into the recovery space. I first stumbled upon Tendani’s fantastic substack, No Thanks, I’m Sober in November 2022. I’ll never forget it because I was reeling from a recent breakup which had been quite tough around that time. The first piece I read was the beautifully raw reflection on grieving. She had lost her Grandmother just days before penning the piece.

The theme of grief was of course very resonant but I was touched by her honesty and vulnerability. It was only her second piece on this fledgling platform. What she has gone on to do since is nothing short of inspiring. It is her writing that inspired me to start my own substack. Through her writing I realised that I too could find a voice while giving voice to others not only in recovery but society at large.

Recovery can be really daunting and quite isolating on any given day, but particularly early on in the journey. Her writing helped me see that our vulnerability is a super power which we can use to heal ourselves and others. So thank you Tendani!

Outside of the substack universe, she has gone on to become a prolific writer for the Business Day and other publications covering key issues in our society like Gender Based Violence and postpartum depression to name a few.

She had a brief stint in Cape Town but left for greener pastures back in Johannesburg early last year (continuing a trend of friends I’ve lost to Joburg recently). We finally got to chat for an interview that’s been a year, maybe two in the making. Here we go!

Hi T, how are you? First of all, my apologies! This chat was meant to happen in January but time has flown by since. I trust you've had a good year?

Listen, it was meant to happen in January 2024! The both of us are true writers, so skilled in procrastination. The first half of my year was rough due to mental health struggles but the second half was beautiful, as I began returning to myself. 2023 and 2024 were the worst but I finally feel like I'm stabilising and more than that, starting to thrive and truly live life. It's a blessing I do not take for granted!

Z: Hahaha, yeah life kind of happened for both of us. Thank you for sharing that about your struggles. We have always shared the good and the bad usually through podcast esque voice notes. I can relate as I also had a mostly good but challenging end to 2024 myself, but here we are, renewed and ready to tackle another year :)

You have started to do some really important activism work in 2024 with some great pieces in the Business Day. Tell us a bit about that.

Yes! I think I've always been an activist at heart because I'm always standing for a value I hold close to my heart, which is fairness. Being a journalist allows me to use my gift of words and my ability to connect quite deeply with other human beings to tell human stories that hopefully have an impact on even one person. I am no longer out to save the world but rather, the goal is to help one person through the work that I do. That is and has always been enough.

Please let us know where we can follow that progress and how we can help?

I'm always looking for human stories to tell (especially centred around mental health), so why not yours? My IG handle is: @tenzmulaudzi.

You have inspired me and countless others through your transparency and openness around sobriety through your own story. Where are you at in that journey?

Firstly, I have learnt that recovery is anything but linear. I've beaten myself up for relapsing after three and a half years and spending about a year "researching" before a crisis got me into recovery again. For me, I cannot have a good life while I'm drinking. I cannot drink responsibly. I cannot stop at one. I tend to burn my life to the ground when I drink. So currently, I don't. And it's been such a rewarding process for the past few months, seeing how I respond to situations in my life in a far healthier manner. I am happier and more pleasant to be around. It's been a helluva journey getting here but I'm proud of myself. It's far from perfect, but there is progress.

Z: Super proud of you and I have always believed in the ‘anything but linear’ thinking too. In recovery we tend to beat ourselves up quite a bit for simply being human and facing an affliction that is hugely daunting almost everyday of our lives. That being said if we take the right steps and are accountable we will reap the rewards you mentioned.

This is cheeky but when can we expect the book?

LOL I love how in my September 2023 answer I wrote "by 2025 latest!" Life has been life-ing and I've lost a little bit of momentum in terms of my book. But I do write as much as I can and there is very gradual progress. I'm no longer stressing about rushing the process due to fear of losing the opportunity to publish it. My story is my story, and whether or not my book is published now or in five years' time, that doesn't change that. (Five years is a bit excessive but you get me).

Z: I get you. The book will be ready when its meant to be and I feel you’ve actually got so many more stories to tell so I see it as a good thing. You are still shaping your narrative.

Tell us about your move from Cape Town to Johannesburg and how that has shaped your year? I get the sense you're in a much happier space again?

Being back in Johannesburg feels like being back in the place where my heart lives. To be honest, I really struggled with Cape Town. I struggled with friendships and the winter. It's a beautiful place and I'm so happy to go back for a vacation but for now, Johannesburg is where it's at for me. I love the culture, the people, the weather. I'm so happy to call Jozi my home.

Z: It’s been a joy to see how happy you are there. Been having many fascinating conversations lately re: CT vs Joburg, the age old arguments now have an economic twist where even some of us who’ve been privileged enough to live there are feeling the squeeze of certain nomadic forces who shall not be named. Its a topic that deserves its own piece or interview…hint hint ;)

Who inspires you the most in life and in literature?

In life, there are so many people. I would count my mom as one of them - her work ethic and dedication seems to be a gene that missed me but I'm trying to absorb it through osmosis. Other than my mom, every person that has guided me in my recovery (too many to mention) inspire me greatly, no matter what our relationships currently look like. South African wise, Melinda Ferguson's book Smacked was the book that got me writing my own memoir. I also greatly admire anyone who has had the courage of writing scathingly honest memoirs, it helps me find courage in telling my own story!

Z: Melinda is incredible and I read that book recently too. Essential reading for anyone in recovery and just a fantastic story about sheer grit and the determination to succeed that we can all learn from.

What a treat T, thank you for your time and lets try do this again, in less than a year though :)

Cheers!

Anything you need to know about Tendani and her work can be found on her Linktree. You can also reach out on her instagram for queries, submitting stories or guidance on recovery.

Listen: Great Interview Tendani did on mental wellbeing.

_

Thanks for reading

James Corder is a multi-hyphenate Videographer, editor and according to Strava, my top running partner for 2024 :)

Early in 2024 he moved to Johannesburg (huge loss for me) and began working with his brother Dan. You may know Dan as a radio personality who was previously host of the breakfast show on 5FM for a number of years. You might also know him through his viral Tik Toks and instagram reels where he discusses South African politics and current affairs which later propelled him to becoming the host of the hugely successful Dan Corder show on ENCA.

Outside of work James is a long suffering Tottenham Hotspur fan alongside me as well as a film and music aficionado. He is also a cat dad to a Ginger boy called George. However, his favourite past time is cars. We have a shared love of all things car related and James has taken that love and transformed it into one of the most informative motor shows you'll find in this country through his fantastic Youtube series Skadonk. We chat about that and a lot more.

Tell us about yourself What drew you to your current work in editing and film?

- I've been interested in story telling for as long as I can remember and particularly the different ways a story can be told. So over the years I tried writing stories and songs and acting and playing sport, essentially all the ways we consume stories in the modern world etc. Eventually my mum spotted that I had a particular interest in film and dissecting the different decisions that go into visual storytelling, which eventually led me to where I am today.

What is it like being at the coalface of South Africa's politics through the show and disseminating news to a national audience?

- Pretty gnarly, to be honest. I think on the modern internet, we've all been pushed into a binary way of thinking, good and bad, left and right, right and wrong. We're all compelled to have an opinion on everything we come across and we better be prepared to defend it. Then on top of that, politics is the most intense version of that sentiment. Along with this, I think both social networks and political rhetoric has led to no one really trusting a lot of information that they're presented and potentially correctly so. So, it's a tricky space to navigate but it's also rewarding to be involved in a platform that has a voice and can speak out on what we feel is important, which is a privileged position. So, I guess you have to take the blessing along with the intensity.

Do you see a shift in interest from young people about politics. Is the tide changing?

- Yes and no. I think it's difficult to escape politics on the internet nowadays and people get particularly passionate during election years, as we've just had. I think this is great, we need everyone to get involved and take ownership of the running of the country, because that's how real change occurs.

On the other hand, I think a lot of young people are feeling overwhelmed by the constant waves of information we're presented. There is only so much a person can focus on at once and I feel people are now forced to pick which issues they're going to take on board.

So yes, people are engaging a lot but selectively.

When did you truly become a petrol head?

- Honestly, I have no idea. No one in my family cares about cars at all, to them a car is an appliance. So it didn't come from there. I watched a lot of Top Gear when I was a kid which definitely piqued my interest, though now I don't really align with who the presenters are as people. I also think growing up in Cape Town, you're constantly surrounded by an extraordinary array of modified cars. It feels like every third car in CPT is tweaked in some way, so it's hard not to pick up on that energy. So it was probably a combination of those two things that sent me down this path.

I know for you its not just the cars themselves but the culture around them? Tell us a bit about that.

- 100%. There's no way that something as ubiquitous as a car could not carry cultural significance. We spend so much time and rely on cars throughout our lives, so they naturally get associated with some pretty major life moments. Cars are used like clothing, like a big metal outfit that we use to project on to the world. If you're a traditional man in the south of the USA and you want to show you are still a practical country boy, you buy a massive bakkie. If you're a young middle class woman who just got her first big job and wants to show she's moving up in the world, she gets a Fiat 500. If your name is James and you want to show you're a bit alternative and also want to drive recklessly in a rear wheel drive car, you buy a 20 year old BMW 3 series and pray that it doesn't self-destruct (it did).

What do you enjoy about Cape Town vs Johannesburg and what don't you like?

- Cape Town is the stunning beautiful youngest sibling who gets all the attention. It's easy to have a great time in Cape Town if you have money and that's what the city is geared towards, so if you don't fall into that group, it starts to lose its appeal.

Joburg is the bossy older sister who gets things done without a fuss. It's a city constantly reinventing itself every 10 years as people come and go. As a result, it's nearly impossible to be inactive in JHB and that's incredibly exciting. Yes, it's not incredibly pretty and crime is definitely hectic, but it's not like Cape Town is the safest place in the world outside of Seapoint and the Waterfront.

What media are you consuming currently?

- I listen to a lot of podcasts because it fits in with my day to day, particularly about car history and South African politics.

What are you reading right now?

- Rather predictably, I'm reading a biography of Enzo Ferrari, which is not well written but has a lot of reliable information. Along with this, I'm reading a book debunking myths about global migration, because it always seems to be a scapegoat issue for politicians and it's particularly relevant now in South Africa.

Who inspires you and why?

- As I mentioned previously, I love stories. Not just hearing or telling them but flipping them over, pulling them apart and figuring out why they're compelling or misleading or funny or hurtful etc. Thankfully I get to do that everyday in a variety of ways, so I feel like that is what pulls me out of bed in the morning.

What are your plans for the new year, any resolutions, exciting projects?

I don't really believe in hard goals but I want to develop a lot of things I started last year. Work has been developing quickly which is exciting so I want to push hard on that without burning out, which I've fallen foul of before. I recently moved to Joburg so I want to explore the city more, particularly through Skadonk, meeting people through their cars etc.

And then just run more, I love running and it can often fall away when life gets hectic so just commit to setting aside time for it would be great to do as well.

—

Thanks for reading

I’ve been thinking a lot about spatial politics lately. There are quite a few reasons for this. Firstly, we live in South Africa. We are prone to bouts of grappling with this regularly based on the political discourse at any given time. It also shapes our identity and cultural makeup for obvious reasons.

What first set me on this path of spatial reckoning was when I finished reading The Lie of 1652, a decolonised history of the land by Tariq Mellet. It is an essential read that leaves no stone unturned in exploring what Africans lost through the colonial expropriation of land and, by extension, home, belonging, identity, soul, support systems, and social cohesion.

It is the ultimate critique of established pre-colonial and colonial history. It’s a heavy yet absorbing read. As you can imagine, it's one of those books that could be equally useful as a doorstop.

Fitting then, that while I was meditating on the lessons from this book, another cataclysmic event should happen in the same week.

As of writing, we are five days into a level 8 weather warning from the South African Weather Service here in Cape Town. It started with a level warning 6 for damaging winds on Sunday.

What ensued has caused widespread structural damage with downed power lines, uprooted trees, roofs blown off, devastating flooding, and a dangerous storm surge along the coast of South Africa.

Amidst all this, as is our wont here in South Africa, lighthearted TikToks and reels on Instagram started circulating showing people making the best of it and wading their way through flooded streets on surfboards and canoes.

However, in the last two days, many would have lost their sense of humour when realising the scale of the damage being wrought by nature and the impact that has had on many communities, most of them disadvantaged.

The flooding has highlighted the spatial inequalities faced in Cape Town where these issues have always been a talking point but not much ever seems to change. It's become quite disheartening seeing the same scenario every time the annual storm or gale-force winds wreak their havoc.

We turn on the TV and see the same displaced people who travel hundreds of kilometers a week to and from their jobs in the city having to heave buckets of water and waste out of their shacks while politicians quibble over who is going to deal with this, if at all. Then the storm passes and all is forgotten until the next one. Rinse, repeat.

The sad reality is that people only start to care when their comfort or reality is impinged upon. This is a trend we’ve seen play out time and time again in this country.

This leads me to another point which is the confluence of all these issues across the class divide.

For example, one of my go-to news sources for current affairs and probably one of the most important creators to emerge in South Africa Dan Corder, released a powerful set of Reels from his show on ENCA two days ago about another controversial development affecting locals in Cape Town at present.

Corder highlights the impact of the City of Cape Town’s 2022 partnership with Airbnb to attract digital nomads to the city. The deal they struck has prioritised remote working visas and allowed for the influx of short term rentals,

Corder goes on to describe how Cape Town now has 29,000 listed Airbnbs, more than Berlin and Barcelona respectively. This has led to locals being priced out of their neighbourhoods, making the city increasingly unaffordable and soon it will be unlivable.

That sounds dramatic but in a city where up to 14,000 people are living on the streets, you have to ask where the government's priorities lie. Clearly not with the people.

In a city where spatial apartheid has for a long time affected working-class people of colour who need to be closer to the city to earn a living, the Airbnb deal is a slap in their face.

Alarmingly, Airbnbs head of Public Policy Gwen Ngwenya, previously worked as the Head of the Federal policy unit at the DA.

It is incomprehensible that a government and political party would effectively brush aside the real-life concerns and issues plaguing their constituents and pair up with an international company to line the pockets of landowners.

The very same landowners who are perpetuating a vicious cycle of homelessness and economic uncertainty for many people. For example, as cited by Corder, one person owning more than 150 properties listed on AirBnb, is not good business, its just selfish. This is where a line needs to be drawn.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for our locals who have managed to parlay Airbnb into a second income stream and there are many fantastic Airbnb hosts I’ve had the pleasure of meeting.

Many of them, particularly of an older demographic need that money and it helps them greatly post retirement. The problem is when some of these landowners become the sole beneficiaries in an ongoing housing crisis to the detriment of thousands of people, which has become the norm.

For all the DA and Airbnb's bluster on how much money has been brought to Cape Town, sadly, the benefits of those funds have never been felt by the very people they were meant to serve.

We are not the first city to face these issues. Berlin faced the same problem in 2016. Fortunately, sense prevailed, and when the government realised that rent hikes and displacement were causing issues they took the necessary steps to reduce the impact of Airbnb incursions in the city and put some much-needed restrictions in place.

Towards the end of June, thousands of people took to the streets across Southern Spain to protest mass tourism. I will spare you the details as it is identical to what I have outlined above.

As of writing protests are still going on in Spain with the latest development seeing tourists having water sprayed on them in restaurants and various public spaces.

There are a few nuances though. Spain has a very different social makeup and the cities affected do not have nearly as much unemployment or homelessness. Their protests are also driven more by bad tourist behaviour and the feeling that their culture is being disrespected.

I’m not saying that we need to start harassing tourists as they try and enjoy their holiday. What we do need to start doing is having more dialogue. So many of our problems are rooted in the fact that our politicians tend to make decisions for the people, not with the people.

Imagine how different things would be if public forums were utilised more frequently when it comes to key policy on issues like the Airbnb deal. We could hash these things out, agree, disagree, or come to a consensus. Instead, decisions are made that only benefit a select few when they could work for the public at large.

The displacement of people due to the recent storm as well as the burgeoning housing crisis are part of the same problem. The people who experience these issues are not invited to have a seat at the table and speak to the issues affecting them.

Until this sort of engagement takes place, we will not hear the many voices in need across our populace. I think there is an opportunity for some of the more privileged (me included) among us to think about things differently.

Using myself as an example, I have mentioned my recent thinking being shaped by thoughts on land and spatial concerns. Two days before the storm hit Cape Town I was driving past the Castle of Good Hope.

The surrounds of this heritage site have been subject to a lot of scrutiny in recent years due to the growing tent dwelling there which mushrooms more every time you pass it as more and more people end up on the streets each week.

A slight downpour of rain had started as I exited the freeway onto Strand Street towards the Castle. As I stopped at a nearby traffic light I saw a man using a bucket to remove water flooding his tent.

At that moment, I felt a profound sense of sorrow and gratitude. Sometimes we tend to forget what we have. I drove away wondering where that man would sleep once he cleared his tent. After the storm hit, I wondered if he still had a tent at all.

I thought about what a day might look like to a man like that. A man much older than me, scraping by and trying to hold on to the little dignity he has left in a city designed to break him down.

In the words of veteran journalist Pearlie Joubert, “Cape Town can be very cruel…it is not a welcoming place if you are poor and black. With that incredibly beautiful backdrop, it’s more visible and more visual - the cruelty of when you are locked out, you are locked out.”

If you’re reading this in Cape Town, or anywhere for that matter, the next time you feel a bit upset (rightfully) about rent increases, think about the man, woman, or children you saw (and you will see them) and how they don’t know what tomorrow brings and when their next meal will be.

I guess I started this piece to make a point about the interconnectedness of all these issues and it turned into a reflection on my place within this story.

The man at the castle, City of Cape Town, you and me, we are all part of the same ecosystem. Let's collaborate within it before it's too late.

A few links to check out around land and spatial inequality in South Africa:

- Mother City is a powerful documentary that looks at Cape Town’s racial and economic inequality. I had the pleasure of working with one of the filmmakers Miki Redelinghuys a few years ago. Also check out her film This Land on forced removals in KZN.

- Ndifuna Ukwazi is a law centre that advocates for inclusivity and access to affordable housing. They work tirelessly with not a lot of resources. Please do share their work and donate if you can.

- Ndifuna and OpenUp also developed an interactive map over seven years assessing just how much vacant land there is in Cape Town, demonstrating how the housing backlog could be dealt with much better than it has been.

- Famous aerial shots taken by Johnny Miller for TIME magazine.

Thank you for subscribing/reading my ramblings on recovery and sobriety. I hope that you benefit from what I share here as much as I do writing it.

I share my experience in recovery, the sobriety journey and the profound learnings that suddenly arrive in your early 30’s among other things. This newsletter is for the sober, sober curious, the drinkers, the thinkers and anyone remotely interested in what it means to be substance free.

Glass Half Full also includes musings on a host of other topics and the occasional guest interview.

This is a space for open dialogue to help people and engage meaningfully. We encourage feedback, questions and suggestions on various topics.

On 30 May, 27.7 million South Africans (the highest since the dawn of democracy) will head to the polls and place their hopes for a better future in a box. We will then wake up the next day to the same challenges we have faced for years while waiting to see if the status quo is close to changing at all.

Load shedding, soaring crime rates, corruption and even Covid still loom large in a democratic South Africa. Despite the doom and gloom I feel a touch of optimism in the air, particularly among the youth.

I feel like that is significant because for many years one of the key issues in a democratic South Africa which our political parties have tried and mostly failed to address has been the apathy of the youth when it comes to engaging in politics at all.

The great American activist and writer James Baldwin famously said “I’m terrified of the moral apathy”. This particular quote has been going around a fair bit on social media recently as it sadly encapsulates our current reality all too aptly. Humanity is at an all time low due to the genocide in Gaza, wide-scale massacre and civil war in The Congo and Sudan, the economy in flux globally and populist politics taking centre stage. Overall, it's not been a good time for democracy.

Looking at our own problems, can you blame the youth for losing hope in recent times? The nine lost Zuma years did not instill much hope and even the New Dawn and wave of optimism promised under President Cyril Ramaphosa circa 2019 turned out to be a damp squib. The DA has come apart at the seams due to infighting, the loss of many of its members (mostly black and talented) under controversial circumstances and their major shift towards more centrist politics.

Thankfully, this year does herald a new era with some exciting new parties like Songezo Zibi’s Rise Mzansi, Mmusi Maimane BOSA and Zackie Achmat’s independent candidacy shaking things up in this electoral cycle. That is what we need, new ideas, different perspectives and a new vision for South Africa.

Last week I was privileged to attend Daily Maverick’s The Gathering in Cape Town. The Gathering is a coming together of politicians, the business sector and civil society to engage in some conversations you won’t see in the Sunday papers or in the news.

Kicking off with a spiky panel discussion on Crime and Corruption (two of the biggest concerns for South African citizens currently) moderated by Judge Dennis Davies and Daily Maverick’s Caryn Dolley, I was struck by the sprinkling of promising young politicos who often had the most valuable contributions in these engagements.

Standouts were Chrispin Phiri, Deputy Spokesperson for the Ministry of Justice & Correctional Services and Mbali Ntuli, the founder and CEO of Groundwork Collective. Finally, one of the most lucid and impressive speakers of the day, Dr Rekgotsofetse Chikane spoke to rapturous applause on public participation in government and coalition politics. Their accomplishments are too many to count here and they are all under 36 years old.

Ntuli implored us to think very carefully about what we are prepared to do to make sure there is accountability not only from politicians but from ourselves as citizens. It is often too easy for us South Africans to sit back, complain, write in to the papers, call in to 702 and ride the wave of pessimism. Active citizenship is needed now more than ever and the youth are key to that progress.

It really inspired me to see that young people are taking charge and at the forefront of our politics. I believe somewhere along the way young South Africans realised that the very apathy and hopelessness they’ve been stuck in will only keep them rooted in the same place of suffering and disappointment.

Another source of hope in this event was the acknowledgement by older, more established members of our business and political arena that it is time to change the status quo and move on from that particularly African problem of holding on to power for too long.

Mark Barnes, the former CEO of the Post Office who so admirably tried to resuscitate that institution said: “We need more 45 year old presidents and we need people with more of a future than a past in office”.

When asked why the youth should vote Achmat simply said: “Young people are not the future, young people are now”. These people mean what they say. Both Rise Mzansi and Achmat’s campaigns have placed the youth at the center of their operations with the average age being around 32 and in Rise’s case there is even a 21 year old named Lawrence Manaka who is the Youth and Student Chapters Convenor for the party.

In a country where political integrity has been non-existent the last thirty years it's encouraging to see tangible change in our governance especially as it pertains to the youth. In the words of Daily Maverick Editor-in-chief Branko Brkic, “There is nothing South Africans cannot overcome, but only when we refuse to focus on what divides us and put our shared humanity first”.

If we continue on this trajectory and place youth at the heart of our politics now I believe there is nothing we young, resilient South Africans cannot overcome.

I will be returning to some recovery based themes soon. There has been so much going on in the world that is bigger than me but I am still enjoying the sober life where I’ve had some profound new learnings which I will share in due time. Thanks for reading :)

Matthew Edwards is a multi-hyphenate experimental industrial designer and DJ based in Johannesburg. He is the founder of Matte, which focuses on designing with materials and processes relevant to the Global South and its shared sustainable future. Additionally, he is the founder of the award-winning, not-for-profit research and design studio Big Circle, along with his business partner Kiera Crowe Pettersson.

Moreover, he has partnered with Adidas South Africa to interpret sustainable shoes in the South African context. I have been fortunate to know Matt a bit over the years in various spaces through mutual friends and by following his incredible career trajectory. I'm really happy to have his creativity and intellect grace the page today.

Tell us about yourself

- I'm Matt, a designer from Jozi, focusing on designing and experimenting with sustainable materials in my work. I'm an ex-semi-professional footballer (lol), and football has led me to explore various avenues, from footwear design to fashion and the culture around football in Johannesburg, which is a significant inspiration for me. I'm also into art and music, always trying to find ways to express myself and my interests in these mediums. I have this tendency to try out a lot of things—a Jack of all trades, if you will.

What drew you to your current profession?

- I wasn't very creative growing up, so I rejected art, design, and music, always thinking others were better than me. My journey into this space began when I decided to take art on a whim in high school. I remember my dad, an artist, asking if I was sure I wanted to go down this road. That choice turned out to be profoundly significant, allowing me to confidently find my own creative voice.

I stumbled upon Industrial Design by chance when entering university and was truly inspired by the emphasis on sustainability. Exploring materials and finding better ways to design for the planet felt incredibly necessary. I suppose what led me to where I am now was the opportunity to make a difference in my field, to stand out from the crowd, and create something I had no idea how to make. 

What media are you consuming right now?

- Other than the relentless scroll of the gram, I've discovered some fascinating longer-format furniture upcycling channels on Instagram and YouTube. They offer a unique blend of ASMR and DIY. I also spend a significant amount of time watching news, and, of course, indulging in a football news binge on Twitter.

What are you reading right now?

- Currently reading "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell; I love his approach to making an argument. Also diving into a cryptic art/sustainability/philosophy book called "All Art is Ecological" by Timothy Morton. It's a slow burner, and I don't grasp everything, but there are some radical perspectives on art and the world that have changed how I approach my work.

Who should everyone be reading that they're not?

- Many people have read his work, but Murakami, probably. His books are like walking through a meadow at the perfect time of day; there's a softness there that I really resonate with.

Who inspires you?

- Damn, I'm a highly observational person, and I draw inspiration from many people. Dave Haakens, the designer from the Netherlands who radically changed our approach to designing with recycled plastic, is definitely up there. Thebe Magugu is another inspiration, showing all South Africans that you can reach the top while being based in Joburg. His work is meticulously considered and brilliant, from the garments themselves to the narrative around each piece—storytelling on a completely different level.

I also can't overlook Virgil Abloh. It's not just about Off-White and his contributions to culture and design; what inspired me most was his ability to shapeshift his creativity into so many mediums—from fashion and footwear design to DJing and art. He's someone I really look up to and hope to follow in his footsteps of creative duality.

And, of course, my parents, Marc and Alice, inspire me daily. Both artists and creatives, they provide an amazing platform for me to express myself, failures included.

I find I'm a bit of an anomaly for our generation in that I read newspapers every week. Do you still enjoy print and if so what is your favourite publication?

- I'm not a huge newspaper reader, but I love magazines, from Monocle to the new SA House and Leisure—they're great. My favorite publication, actually, is something my girlfriend Annabel discovered called Isolarii. It's a subscription of small books/essays by the most amazing writers. I've read the Cooking Sections (what a cool company) edition, and it was some of the most enjoyable reading I've ever done about food, color, and our conceptions around them.

What is your favourite place on earth?

- Ah, anywhere where the people I love are. Oh and New York, specifically going from the oyster bar: Seawolf to Brooklyn Steel to watch a band or DJ. 

I tend to fall into rabbit holes quite often. Any holes you've had to dig your way out of recently? Tell us everything.

- Chelsea FC transfer news on Twitter is one of them, but that's behind me. Twitter (yeah I still call it that, who cares) has a crazy way of feeding you every bit of news around a topic and I was fully on edge trying to stay up to date with something so trivial. I'm currently in a bit of a Garage/UK bass rabbit hole and I'm loving it there. 

—

Thanks for reading

Thank you for subscribing/reading my ramblings on recovery and sobriety. I hope that you benefit from what I share here as much as I do writing it.

I share my experience in recovery, the sobriety journey and the profound learnings that suddenly arrive in your early 30’s among other things. This newsletter is for the sober, sober curious, the drinkers, the thinkers and anyone remotely interested in what it means to be substance free.

Glass Half Full also includes musings on a host of other topics and the occasional guest interview.

This is a space for open dialogue to help people and engage meaningfully. We encourage feedback, questions and suggestions on various topics.

In the last two weeks, the world has witnessed some of the most unspeakable atrocities that humans have inflicted on each other in a very long time, sparked by a surprise attack on Israel by Hamas on the 7th of October.

Many of us have been trying to make sense of this conflict and its far-reaching implications.

In lieu of my planned newsletter, I decided to share some key links from the last week that might help people understand it better. Some of these certainly helped me unpack the conflict and feel more comfortable discussing it.

It is such a fractious issue, and you get the sense that people are walking on eggshells when it comes up in conversation, but there should be more healthy dialogue. We cannot stand idly by as this unfolds and not engage on something that impacts us all particularly on a humanitarian level.

Here is some suggested reading:

• America’s wave of sympathy for Israel continues with this terrible decision by MSNBC.

• A powerful think piece.

• The significance of Hamas and their attack explained.

• A brief history of the conflict.

• Another guide to where it all began.

• Stories like this seem so unfathomable yet sadly they are on the rise in the wake of the conflict.

• Key developments as of 19 October.

• Biden casts Russia and Hamas as parallel threats to democracy

• Sunak to visit Israel as foreign leaders aim to prevent the conflict from widening.

From Twitter or X (whatever we’re supposed to call it nowadays)

• A truly heartbreaking infographic.

• I was floored as were most people by this post from Maria Guardiola on active citizenship and using your platform for good.

Reading suggestions:

• 5 books to understand the Israel - Palestine conflict

• Penguin Random House’ suggestions.

In the next edition we’ll be doing something a little different as I speak to a special guest and friend about what they have going on. Depending on reader response I would love to share more about newsworthy topics namely the Israel - Palestine conflict.

Some music: I have had this on heavy rotation in recent times as I aim to slow down and unwind more in my life. As I write this I am trying to do just that while on holiday in the Eastern Cape. I hope this can be your soundtrack to the weekend or life, whichever you prefer :)

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One topic that’s been top of mind for me lately is friendship and its changing nature. I’ve also been seeing a lot of discourse on the matter in the last year or so. Terms like the “friendship recession” have been resurfacing again, and I’ve been curious to know why.

I think that in a post-COVID world, people really took a moment to reflect on and scrutinise their relationships and friendships deeper than ever before, realising they wanted more or less from their nearest and dearest in the process.

As result of this post-pandemic malaise we were shuffling out of, 2022 saw so many break ups not only in my personal circle but around the world, and that was reflected in pop culture recently.

Note the shocking break ups of celebrities like Phoebe Bridgers, Taylor Swift and most recently Britney Spears from their respective partners. In the time it's taken me to put this piece together Swift has had two high profile break ups. Prepare for some heart-rending hits aimed at those men soon.

Divorces have continued to skyrocket too with a few high profile splits recently, including everybody’s favourite TV chef right now. As I mentioned in the first edition, I went through a big break up of my own last year, another 2022 casualty. 

Break ups inevitably cause huge shifts in friendship groups. Who gets to keep who?  Who was the better friend? and all sorts of uncomfortable questions are raised. 

It becomes essential to identify who makes time for you. Whose company enlivens you? Who would you miss and who would miss you? As the saying goes, “Show me your friends and I will show you who you are.”

In our case everyone was quite supportive and we managed to find a balance within our cluster of mutual friends. However, there were one or two losses which hurt. Some of the gaps that grow between people can’t be closed. It took me a while to accept that but I’m there now and it’s very freeing.

For example, after the split a distance grew between myself and someone I considered quite a good friend. I had always been close to them but they were also my ex’s close friend and confidante. A distance inevitably grew between us.

At first I was hurt and obsessively tried to understand why I was put to the spear. Please excuse my Zulu inclination for the melodramatic. I say put to the spear but we have worked through it and rebuilt our friendship.

I see now that ultimately they were put in an unenviable position. The lesson I learnt is that people evolve and relationships change and that’s ok.

One thing I’ve been grappling with all my life is the idea of being likeable. It's incredibly difficult to fathom that some people just might not like you. I’ve always thought of myself as a charismatic and amiable guy. Admittedly, a lot of this persona came through my drinking days. 

Then those days ended, and I realised I’m definitely more likeable sober, and that was hard to accept because I had based so much of my identity on the fake laughter and forced conversations with false people for so long.

Getting sober also changes the dynamics of your friendships. It’s very alienating at first. The phone stops buzzing as much, and you are not invited to as many things. People are never quite sure whether to invite you or simply don’t want a sober buzzkill around while they all get toasted. 

Personally (I think this is the experience of many sober people I’ve spoken to), I found myself having to work quite hard to change the perception in social situations. I’ve slowly shown people that I’m not lame or triggered and that within reason I can still have a good time. 

 I’m at a point where I can live vicariously through them for a bit, get some good social engagement, and then clear off at a decent hour and enjoy being able to wake up the next day remembering everything. I call it my sober therapy.

It's all been tricky to navigate, but it helped me grow as a person and also realise who my true friends are.

In recent years I’ve had my guard up quite a bit when it comes to friendships. In a city where friendships and popularity hinge on who has the most drugs for the night it’s hard not to.

I saw a great tweet recently which said: “Remember who checks on you when you get a little quiet. Those are your people”.  That really stuck with me as I spotted the pattern of who drops off and who checks in and engages with me beyond the usual surface-level exchanges.

We also need to be more vulnerable and not sugarcoat how our lives are going, which typifies most friendships especially among men. The moments (and there were many early this year) where I was able to drop the usual male bravado and call a friend at a very low point, significantly strengthened our bond.

In a recent survey, 15% of men said they had no close friends at all. That’s an indictment on the degradation of male friendships. This is exemplified by the insecurity men feel in being open with each other and the fear of social rejection when they are.

Gratitude also goes a long way in revitalising friendships. As much as we should’nt expend energy on people who are’nt there for us its really important to appreciate the ones who are.

I recently missed out on a gathering of a few close friends. We had’nt seen each other for a while and I was looking forward to reconnecting. I made it my mission to send a voice note with the speech I would have given had I been there.

I needed to express my gratitude for how they had been there for me during a particularly dark period after my break-up and through big life transitions that were happening earlier in the year.

I was so moved by the response and how much it meant to them to get that recognition.

In essence, that's what adult relationships should look like. Finding your tribe and working on those relationships because the older you get the more you need the people you knew when you were younger.

Entrepreneur and podcaster Steven Bartlett shared some powerful graphs a couple of years ago which support this sentiment. One that stood out to me was this:

A bit depressing on the face of it but there are things you can do to offset the impending loneliness. 

In my case I had to acclimatise to being a solo entity after 4 years of cohabitation and never having lived alone after leaving my parents’ home as a student. I always had a roommate or some sort of presence with me. I essentially had to learn how to take care of just me for the first time in my life.

Caring for ourselves is something we are not really conditioned to do, especially in the fast-paced environment we are currently forced to exist in. Life around you doesn't stop when you’re grappling with loneliness. Instead everything keeps turning faster and faster. You feel stuck but meanwhile people have their lives to live, families to raise, people to marry.

Although we fundamentally desire connection with others,  when loneliness sets in we see them as unreliable, judgmental and unfriendly. This leads to keeping our distance, consciously or unconsciously and spurning potential opportunities for connection.

The danger starts when you isolate. After something traumatic happens or life throws a curveball the inclination to go into a hole grows stronger. Post break-up I was slowly going into myself and it got quite dark at points.You start to think people are against you, hence my melodramatic spear comment earlier. 

As soon as you realise that most people don’t care as much as you do about the things you’re going through, things become a lot easier. That sounds really cynical but it's true and for better or worse it’s also a part of the human condition.

I recently had to work through step 4 of the 12 step programme in AA. For those unfamiliar the 12 steps are what we in recovery use to ensure we maintain sobriety. The steps can be done any number of times and they always evolve as life does. 

Step 4 is the one we often dread the most. This is where we deal with resentments with others as well as examine our contributions to those resentments. You do a full deep dive into a lot of difficult things and leave no stone unturned in examining every aspect of your life. It is a gruelling process but really important and empowering.

One day after a morning of writing my resentments I could’nt help but laugh a bit when I realised the scale of the dramatic assumptions and expectations I had placed on others. Being able to laugh and let it all go was really cathartic.

Aside from personal introspection, it’s important to nurture existing relationships and strike a healthy balance. I thought I would share a few things I put in place which really improved my self-esteem, strengthened friendships and boosted my mental health.

I am not prescribing the below as fact, but these are a few things I employed that provide a  way of living that can help anyone navigate shifting friendships and loneliness. 

Walks -  You should start your day with a 10-15 min walk. Even if you just go around the block a couple of times. In general don’t stay in one place for too long and keep yourself moving as much as possible. This can offset the feelings of restlessness and prevent you from digging too deep mentally when faced with loneliness.

Write - Write how you are feeling day to day, whether it is positive or negative. You may not be in a space to speak to someone and that is fine as long as you have another outlet. It can be really therapeutic putting pen to paper and processing your emotions. (see analog link below)

Be spontaneous - Breaking free from our routine can be really positive and inspiring within reason. Accept that unexpected invite from a friend for dinner or a drink even when you’re not in the mood. Take a drive with no real destination in mind. As a slightly obsessive compulsive Virgo I found this was one of the key things that brought me out of a spiral of loneliness and repetition.

Train yourself to be comfortable alone - Loneliness is not only cured by hanging with friends or family. Get into the habit of going to spaces where you are alone but surrounded by people. For me that was daily walks to the local dog park where I sit on the bench and watch people come and go and the dogs playing. Take yourself to the cinema or a local market.

Interactions with strangers - One thing we also don’t do is open ourselves to speaking with people we don’t know. We all exist in these silos in our day-to-day existence and it’s really important to engage with people from all walks of life.

Chat more meaningfully with familiar faces at your local corner store or with the petrol attendants. Those little bite-sized interactions maintain our social ability, boost self-esteem and help us realise we can still engage even when we feel far removed from society.

Exercise - You knew this was one coming. Exercise is not for everyone but we all need it in some way, shape or form to lead a balanced and healthy life. Find your outlet whether it be long walks, yoga, meditation, running or socially inclined activities like five-a-side football or the new “it” sport Padel. Running is a form of therapy and spirituality to me but also how I look after my physical self.

Again, these are far from prescriptive and we all have to put a little time and energy into finding what works for us. The above mixed with a healthy dose of self-reflection and effort regarding relationships, can go a long way towards living a better life.

I found a treasure trove of content on friendships and the subjects tackled above way before conceptualising this piece. Here are some of the standout links:

• Networks in lockdown: The consequences of COVID-19 for social relationships and feelings of loneliness

• Meaning Lab - Podcast examining the significance of our friendships and how and why we don’t place as much importance on them as we do our relationships.

• The Analog Journal Edition - Writing, reflection and optimisation

• Book Recommendation: Wired to Connect: The Surprising Link Between Brain Science and Strong, Healthy Relationships

• 7 Ways to Bring a Dead Friendship Back to Life

Tracks of the week:

Of course there are great songs that touch on friendship and loneliness which have been a tonic for me too:

Cass Mccombs - Harmonia

Kevin Morby - Savannah

Time - Pink Floyd

Benjamin Clementine - Cornerstone - I discovered Clementine whilst in a YouTube black hole here a couple of years ago and his lyrics are essentially poetry in musical form.

Friends, I have met
Lovers have slept and wept
Promises to stay had never been kept
This bare truth of which most won't share
I hope you share

Thank you for subscribing to my ramblings on recovery and sobriety. I hope that you benefit from what I share here as much as I do writing it.

I share my experience in recovery, the sobriety journey and the profound learnings that suddenly arrive in your early 30’s among other things. This newsletter is for the sober, sober curious, the drinkers, the thinkers and anyone remotely interested in what it means to be substance free.

Glass Half Full also includes musings on a host of other topics and the occasional guest interview.

This is a space for open dialogue to help people and engage meaningfully. We encourage feedback, questions and suggestions on various topics.

“People sometimes sneer at those who run every day, claiming they’ll go to any length to live longer.

But I don’t think that’s the reason most people run. Most runners run not because they want to live longer, but because they want to live life to the fullest. If you’re going to while away the years, it’s far better to live them with clear goals and fully alive than in a fog, and I believe running helps you do that.

Exerting yourself to the fullest within your individual limits: that’s the essence of running, and a metaphor for life”.

Haruki Murakami

In his memoir What I Talk about When I talk About Running, Japanese author Haruki Murakami poetically expounds on what running means to him and his journey with long distance running as it relates to the process of writing.

It is a beautiful reflection on finding a passion and losing yourself in it. Letting it challenge you, guide you and carry you through life’s many ups and downs. Any runner worth his salt will relate to the themes explored in the book.

As I lay in bed today filled with FOMO, marvelling at the incredible athletes and participants of the 96th Comrades Marathon, I could’nt help but think back to my own relationship with running and its impact on my life.

Like most people I actually despised running throughout my adolescence. In fact most exercise was a chore to me. It didn't help that I was chronically asthmatic and had a few attacks in childhood. Those incidents naturally caused an aversion to any form of exertion.

Primary school did not prepare me well for what lay ahead.  Having played football, tennis and golf intermittently I was in for the shock of my life when I arrived at my sports mad all boys boarding school.

I was plunged into a world of human kinetics classes, gym and cross country running. I also had to participate in sports I had never played or had an interest in until that point.

It says a lot that in my first two years of school I opted to be a goalkeeper in both football and hockey.I chose the most stationary positions to avoid running.  I was awful at both, although looking back if I had stuck to hockey I actually could have gone far. 

That’s probably my flights of fancy talking which conveniently ignores the dearth of hockey goalkeepers there were in my grade at the time. 

The goalkeeping dream in football ended when the colossal Jonty Tatz (later first team rugby Hooker) clattered into me in a training match in a collision where I was convinced I had lost my leg below the knee. It was just a dead leg and a bruised knee but still! I later went on to become a half decent defender.

One area of training I had surprisingly begun to enjoy was the gym. I fed off the testosterone driven energy of the place which was soaked in bravado and Springbok tinged dreams. 

The problem is no gains were being made. Anyone who knows me now would wonder if I’ve ever set foot in a gym. My slender figure today remains largely unchanged from around 16 years of age but my later running would contribute to that.

The first time running clicked for me was on a cross country run in Grade 9. My school had a beautiful campus with meandering roads lined all around it. There was a scenic route we had to navigate which passed by a dam, a nature reserve and finally back down along the train tracks and a hauntingly beautiful  driveway leading back to campus. These tranquil scenes proved to be a necessary distraction.

Fast forward to 2016 and I’m living at Fugitive’s Drift, a beautifully positioned lodge in northern Kwa-Zulu Natal close to the historic battlefields where much of the Anglo-Zulu war took place.

The Rattray family who run the lodge have built some beautiful jeep tracks circling the entire length of the property. These undulating trails are indescribably beautiful. It was here where I began to truly enjoy running. It didn't hurt that one would  come across all manner of game on these runs and despite one or two skirmishes with some aggressive Zebra, we learnt to coexist. 

Over time I started to realise I was going further and further than ever before. This led to me signing up for my first 10km run in Johannesburg. Astonished by the time I ran there I started to look at half marathons and then full marathons and so on.

In a space of a year I had graduated from 10km city runs to qualifying marathons for the iconic Comrades in 2018. Nothing is more daunting than the prospect of running more than you ever have before.

Training and race prep is of course essential but if your mind isn't right on the day then you will not have a good run. Running is also so much more about mentality than it is physical. I had a remarkable mental shift in discipline in the six months building up to Comrades. I stopped drinking, stuck to a healthy diet and slept very well. 

It was this early discipline that started a correlation between running and alcohol. In my heart I knew it was good that I was tapering off. The more I ran the less I drank. 

The build up to the race that year had been stressful as I picked up an ITB injury (common in runners) at the Two Oceans marathon and had to bow out halfway through. So with two months left I fought to recover in time with my plan being to just finish Comrades.

I had to put my ego aside and accept I was’nt going to get my Sub 9 time. I went on to complete it in a time of 11h:36m. That’s the beauty of running. It will teach you some hard lessons, hurt you and humble you but there’s always a profound sense accomplishment because ultimately you’ve been able to withstand all it throws your way.

Post Comrades I started to gravitate towards the feeling of being well rested, mentally engaged and fit. It was a feeling I would miss for a while after my return to drinking.

The common thread since I got into running was how it kind of became my religion and my escape. It was my coping mechanism for all of life’s challenges and I began to use it instead of alcohol to deal with bad days. A profoundly positive development.

While it is  satisfying to let loose and indulge from time to time, it is also important to pursue an interest or hobby where you can have fun but also benefit your soul and mind.

We should all have an outlet we thoroughly enjoy. We just need to tap into the ones that benefit us holistically. Whenever things feel off kilter running is what centres and grounds me in the present. I run in my own cosy void and in silent nostalgia as life passes me by.

There is nothing I can’t overcome when I’m on the road and a lot of my best ideas, inspiration and motivation have come from my long runs.

Each stride pulling me toward a world of endless possibility. We all just need to find our stride and in time we can navigate life’s great inclines and downhills with a lot more ease.

In the next edition of Glass Half Full I share my reflections on the changing nature of friendships and the tools I implemented to adress loneliness. Don’t worry, it’s not as depressing as it sounds :) I am drawing from months of experience and engaging in a lot of discourse currently going on in media around friendships and their increased fragility in a post covid world.

Latest Reads: I highly recommend the aforementioned Murakami book for anyone who loves running and all its intricacies. It’s also a beautiful ode to the process of writing.

Another book I can’t recommend more is Born To Run by Christopher Mcdougall who set out to discover the secrets of the Tarahumara Indians in Mexico who honed the ability to run hundreds of miles without rest or injury. I won’t explain more. Just get it. Whether you’re a runner or not, its fantastic.

Track of the week: This is my running playlist which has something for everyone. Happy listening.

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