I’ll be live on Wednesday for our paid subscribers, yay! That is for you! Join if you can!

Live Quarterly Gathering
Wednesday, September 2nd at 5 pm MT
(4 pm Los Angeles, 7 pm New York)

https://open.substack.com/live-stream/342153

I’ve been juggling a combo of mischief with Substack live (time zone weirdness and disappearing events) and my own…

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Even with my four-wheel, bad-ass Toyota Tundra it is not guaranteed that I will be able to make it home.

It’s the mud.

Red clay that softens with rain into a pudding slurry so slippery that all you can do is keep your eyes locked on where you are going, breathe deep, and stay loose as you course correct like a jerking, dancing marionette to avoid sliding into the slushy sides which are waiting to trap you like quicksand. This same red clay then transfigures into a form of super glue, oozing into the most tractioned mud tires and setting into a rock-like substance that renders your expensive off-road tires basically bald.

I’ve actually only gotten stuck once in the mud up here in Northern New Mexico, on the east side of the Sangre de Christo mountains. Now my goal when I come home on a rainy day is to do the least amount of damage to the road by driving like a zen master and imagining my truck floating over the road. Happily, my neighbors and I have done tremendous amounts of work on our mile-long stretch of dirt road; there are only a few really dicey areas. And we all know that once the rainy seasons comes (which we all pray for, despite the challenges of mud) that the road can turn into a rutted, treacherous disaster. Especially for those of us at the very, very end of said road.

Then, there is the surprise of what condition my tent home and the community kitchen will be in.

The wild is unpredictable.

And so are humans.

Which means I never know what I’m going to find.

This return home the treasures were:

One live mouse sitting on a kitchen shelf happily munching on a large while lima bean

One bag of pancake mix with the corner nibbled and powder oozing out

One bowl full of dried and slowly rotting vegetables

Numerous shreds of Hershey Kiss wrappers, sans Kiss

Mouse turds decorating counters

One very greasy stovetop

Random stuff in fridge slowly fermenting

And most impressive:

One dead mouse drowned in a jar of opened honey on the shelf

As I thoroughly cleaned the shelves, drawers, and countertops I marveled at what non-food items mice will nibble:

Candles seem to be a favorite, with decorative teeth marks etched in the wax

Sponges

Soap

Weirdest was the nibbled edges of the coating on our stash of AA batteries

Back to the mouse with the bean in its mouth.

Damn, it is cute.

I told it so.

This mouse with huge dark eyes sat calmly looking at me from the third shelf, next to boxes of tea and mason jars. The lima bean in its mouth was bigger than his head, and bulged out like chipmunk cheeks on either side of its tiny whiskers and mouth.

“Friend!” I said to the mouse-friend. “You are so cute! Look at you! Good job with the bean that is bigger than your head! Just so you know you are going to be dead by the morning. No hard feelings, you just can’t live here. You can be anywhere else, but this kitchen is off limits to mice. Got it? You are so cute! You are going to be dead soon, enjoy that bean!”

As I cleaned the kitchen later I realized my contribution to our mouse residency: three small plastic packages of 15-bean soup I had left on the shelf earlier in the summer. I carefully pulled the bags out, one of which was only 2/3 full. Turns out mice love all 15 types of dried beans in 15-bean soup. Behind the beans was a deluxe mouse accommodation: a large nest of fluffy insulation. A super comfy bed and breakfast situation for our mouse friend.

After everything was cleaned and all possible mouse food was tossed or placed in plastic bins, I set the trap and went to bed. In the morning I said prayers over my now dead mouse friend, and tossed it up onto the roof to feed the ravens.

Cycle of life: Ravens finding mouse on roof, May 2026

This weekend I’ll put handfuls of steel wool around the upper beams where the mice are finding entry into the kitchen.

I’ll spray the concoction someone left behind in a bottle labeled “peppermint oil for mice” in purple marker. I’ll set out mouse traps, baited with organic peanut butter. I’ll make sure everything nibbleable is stored in glass or hard plastic.

Then I’ll start crafting a check-out list for all guests of our community kitchen. I’m actually excited that we have reached a milestone of needing good, clear guidelines. This is part of the natural progression as you grow and expand and share with others: mindful agreements, named expectations, and loving boundaries.

Wild Bliss

For all the challenges of off-grid in the wild living, I so love coming home to the silence and peace of the mountains here. Some part of my soul unfurls in this expanse of sky and rocks and trees and stars. Whether I’m cleaning up mouse poop or standing with awe under the milky way, I’m grateful to be co-creating with nature and the humans at the end of a sometimes very muddy road.

A few fun facts about San Miguel county:

– Rural area: 99.8% (4,706 square miles)
– Urban area: 0.2% (10 square miles)
– Population density: 5.8 people / square mile

Next week we will be hosting our first silent retreat up on the land : )

Here are a few other online things coming up:

Saturday, September 5, 1 pm ET
Fierce Grace: Lessons from the Fire with Peggy Dylan and HeatherAsh

Sunday, September 6, 3 pm ET
New Moon Talk & Ceremony with HeatherAsh

Blessings!

I made it home from France late last night, my flight from JFK to ABQ bumpily slipping through the many thunderstorms that were causing cancelled flights left and right. It was quite a light show from my seat at 35,000 feet.

A reminder that sometimes the transition from August into September can be bumpy. There is sometimes a clash of currents: summer vibe into school prep or memory that can feel disorienting. If you are feeling scattered, remember to be gentle with yourself, slow down and get present. We are in bumpy skies, and things keep changing and shifting to work around and through the multiple storms.

I’m excited to plant my feet back home and share a new little offering: Steady in the Storm. Next week, Tuesday August 25 to Saturday August 29, join me and friends online to cultivate inner steadiness, navigate life’s changes with greater wisdom, and become a grounded presence for yourself and those around you through simple, practical teachings and tools. https://warriorgoddess.com/steady It’s free; come live or watch the recordings later.

Below is a love note I wrote several years ago that seems perfect for these times. And the picture of this candle… a final blessing from our group in France. Everyone wrote a word with sharpie pen, then I tucked it next to rows of candles burning in Chartres Cathedral. I love imagining it shining hope and radiating prayers out to the world.

Blessings!

When our inner fire burns brightly we are creative, courageous, and can be out of our comfort zone in a big way.

But when our inner fire, or energy, is dampened or scattered, we will tend to go towards what is familiar. We perpetuate the status quo because it is what we know. It feels safe in the short term, but in the long term our inner fire dims and leaves us feeling apathetic, apologetic, and hopeless.

We must do the work to keep our inner fire strong so we can see beyond known horizons. When our inner energetic lantern is glowing strongly we grow in our capacity to be uncomfortable, and feel confident to venture into new lands and new ways of perceiving, so we can dismantle the old systems.

A bright inner fire allows us to be challenged in the short term, because we know we are in for the long term.

I believe at this time it is more important than ever for us to learn to both blaze brightly and bank our coals so we are sustainable for the long haul. All change, inner and outer, takes both fiery action and patient strategizing, educating, and transformation over time.

Here are five steps to building your inner fire:

1. Learn to use your emotions as fuel
For many of us our emotions cause us to lose energy and vitality, instead of gain it. When you are not properly tending to your emotions they squash your inner fire with the weight of the past. But released of the old heaviness you will find your emotions are a great ally to transformation.

2. Cultivate your witness self
Stagnant emotions can cause us to be bogged down in our thoughts: fragmented sentences, heavy stories, and even full-blown dramatic novels in our head. When we believe everything our mind tells us it is like using soggy, wet newspapers to attempt to start a fire. Our inner words are powerful sources of heat and spark, but unchecked they can easily dampen our spirit or keep us hostage in murky waters.

3. Fall in love with the truth
The truth will set you free. But how to know what is truth and what is lies? The first step is to choose to ally with the truth and question your thoughts and stories. Your body knows what is true, but you must be willing to challenge what you learned and what think you know.

4. Know your intent
To change old patterns and beliefs, you must have a focus, or a North Star to keep your attention fixed on as you create new ways of being. Your intent is one word that guides your actions going forward. What one quality are you most wanting to integrate into your life right now? That is a good place to start. Then ask: how do I bring my intent into all my actions?

5. Integrate and repeat
Once you are clear with your intent, you can explore how to take action based in truth and clarity. This is not something you do once, but a way of being where you look towards long-term sustainability and deep, lasting transformation. At times it is graceful, at times messy. Keep going.

Remember, dear ones. One step at a time. Look at the ways you dampen, scatter, or leak your inner fire. Dedicate yourself to being a torch of possibility. Ask yourself, what would love, true fierce, unconditional love, do here? Be a love revolutionary.

We are in for the long haul, together.

Hope to see you next week! Stay steady in the bumpity bump!

Growing up we visited my grandparents every summer, and sometimes at Christmas (where there as always a wild rumpus of grandchildren at the holiday gathering, and some uncle playing Santa Claus.) When my grandmother died at 94 she had something like 35 grandchildren and 24 great-grand children.

My favorite memories of my grandmother was discovering that she kissed the saints. Oh, thinking how racy the Catholics were from me mis-hearing the rosary one afternoon.

Ever since their family French Catholic church had closed its doors Nana would watch Catholic TV. All. The. Time. Except for her soap operas, which she was just as religious about. As a teenager one summer afternoon I fell asleep on her couch and groggily woke up to the litany of the rosary floating around me. I heard the words thusly:

Hail Mary, Mother of God, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb juices.

Wow, womb juices, I thought! Those Catholics are telling it like it is!

Of course, what they were actually saying was and blessed is the fruit of they womb, Jesus. I was a little disappointed when I learned that fact many years later.

That same visit I noticed Nana had numerous little cards on the table next to her chair. As I looked closer I saw they were images of Mary and other Saints. But why did the look blurry and scuffed? I looked closer.

And that is when I saw the lipstick marks.

My Nana was kissing the Saints as she prayed.

My other favorite story of Florence was at her funeral, when my mom and I both saw her wait for the priest’s final blessing before her soul ascended into the heavens. She was laid out to rest and be viewed in her open coffin. Later the family gathered in rows for the priest to speak. As he finished what is called the Final Commendation over her coffin I saw a soft light rise from her body, float upward, and disappear. My mouth dropped open and I turned to my mother, who was looking at me with the same look of shock on her face. “Did you see that?” I whispered? “Yes!” she nodded.

Today is the Assumption of Mary in the Catholic Church; the day Mary ascends to the heavens with her body. While the Church has tried desperately over the years to repress the Feminine, she keeps rising. Today the Black Madonna statue that is kept in a locked room under one of the smaller churches here in France is brought out and paraded around town. Then she is ceremonially placed in Notre Dame de Chartres, the large Cathedral here built between 1194 and 1220 and dedicated in honor of the Virgin Mary.

I’m with a group of pilgrims this week, honoring the Divine Mother, doing ceremony, walking the labyrinth. Holding the contradiction of the beauty and sacredness of this place and the incredible harm the Church has done. Walking with both.

As I sat in the Church earlier today listening to the rosary being recited in French all around me, I thought of my Nana, and how happy she would be that I am here. I might not honor Mary and Jesus in the way she did. But somehow the path of this very pagan free-spirited Witch and her very Catholic grandma have overlapped.

I also kiss the Saints, but with my feet and heart in pilgrimage to sacred places. My devotion is not to the Church and the rules made by men. And while I have grown to love Cathedrals, when I pray at Chartres surrounded by ancient stained glass and statues of the Mother, I am praying to the land beneath, the waters and spring that were here first, to the Divine Feminine worshipped by the Druids and the ones that came before them.

I kiss the memory of the ancient grandmothers who knew this land intimately, and honored the trees, rocks, and waters long before man tried to tame them. I know where my Mother is. While she may be being adored within the beauty of this Cathedral where she is being honored this week, I feel her in the caves and roots, in the whispers of wind all around.

Here is part of the prayer recited today; so similar to ancient Sanskrit and Buddhist chants I’ve sung to Kali or Tara over the years.

Mother of mercy,

Mother of divine grace,

Mother of hope,

Mother most pure,

Mother most chaste,

Mother inviolate,

Mother undefiled,

Mother most amiable,

Mother most admirable,

Mother of good counsel,

Mother of our Creator,

Mother of our Savior,

Virgin most prudent,

Virgin most venerable,

Virgin most renowned,

Virgin most powerful,

Virgin most merciful,

Virgin most faithful,

Mirror of justice,

Seat of wisdom,

Cause of our joy,

Spiritual vessel,

Vessel of honor,

Singular vessel of devotion,

Mystical rose,

—

House of gold,
Ark of the covenant,
Gate of heaven,
Morning star,
Health of the sick,
Refuge of sinners,
Comfort of Migrants,
Comforter of the afflicted,

—
Queen of Angels,
Queen of Patriarchs,
Queen of Prophets,
Queen of Apostles,
Queen of Martyrs,
Queen of Confessors,
Queen of Virgins,
Queen of all Saints,
Queen conceived without original sin,
Queen assumed into heaven,
Queen of the most holy Rosary,
Queen of Families,
Queen of Peace,

—

Pray for us, O holy Mother of God

Here’s to the Divine Feminine Mama Mystic Queen Rising …

And to the wisdom of our grandmothers and their grandmothers.

The Black Madonna, resting in St. Aignan church before the procession to Notre Dame de Chatres Cathedral.

Here I am in my happy place, after walking a mile to bring flowers for our group altars and to beautify our gathering space for our group of pilgrims. Monday night we’ll walk the labyrinth together. Watch my IG or FB stories for pictures and updates!

Welcome to the fiery time of the year on so many levels… heat, wildfires, passion, creativity. It’s Leo season, and today we also have a solar eclipse. In times of high energy we need to remember to stay rooted into the earth and steady so all that fire doesn’t destabilize or blow us out. We want to channel the flow away from…

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Thanks for being part of this new little group walking with Sarina and me as we co-write a new book, Fire Witch. The book deadline is end of December for an October 2027 publication, so let’s see if we can do it : ) I’ve had a big fat book block, but with patience and persistence the words are starting to flow again.

What I’m sharing w…

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A few years ago I traveled to Scotland to teach my second firewalk instructor training since the wildfire at Warrior Heart Ranch. I’ve been lighting fires on purpose and teaching others how to walk across the coals for decades; now my relationship with fire felt even more intimate, and tender. Honestly, looking back I was still somewhat in shock.

My dear friends and co-facilitators, Peggy Dylan and Stephen Mulhearn, asked questions, consoled, and listened as I shared about the impacts of the wildfire on the land I love and steward.

Then they helped me craft three affirmations.

Which I didn’t believe were possible.

At all.

The three affirmations were:

— The land is taken care of by the right people

— By feeding the land you nourish the whole earth

— The unfolding new dream is even more beautiful for me and the land

These all felt like impossible wishes, unreal visions. I still had smoke and acres of black trees and ruin in my head.

But I had learned enough from past challenging times: sometimes you have to trust others to hold the vision of possibility when you can’t.

And so I literally carried those words around with me for months. Every once in a while I would pull the paper out, read the words, wince at the impossibility, and then tuck the paper away.

I kept going, one foot after another, not knowing how any of this was going to come about.

If you are new here and want a quick catch up, read:

Here is how it is going:

— The land is taken care of by the right people

While I’ve been traveling and teaching in Mexico and Europe this summer, visionaries with pick axes, scientists with creative mojo, and long-time locals with mad skills have been crafting an epic project across one of the largest and most hard-hit areas of the burn scar. As part of her ongoing Bellow Forth project Kaitlin Bryson and team crafted six rain circles: 30-foot terraced circles dug into the earth with both tractor and human labor.

These three pictures show the circles taking shape. In the fall they will be planted with trees, native grasses, and wildflowers.

These rain circles are still being fined tuned. Three of the six circles will be used as control and each of the other three will be planted first with part of a mycellium-laced, hand-made quilt made with prayer and ceremony. Here is the true mage: part of the experiment is to see if prayer and ceremony make a difference in land restoration.

Here is the quilt, which is all hand colored with natural dyes, being pieced together:

Learn more about the first quilts Kaitlin planted right after the 2022 fire on the Bellowforth website: https://www.bellowforth.com/quilt

Kaitlin and team also planted dozens of trees and berry bushes along the creek. We now are a home to baby aspen, cottonwood, chokeberry, spruce, pine, native plum, and more… along with the many wildflowers and grasses that have sprouted from the seed balls we’ve been planting over the years.

— By feeding the land you nourish the whole earth

Okay, friends… this part my brain can barely wrap around!

We are learning more and more how critical mycelium is to soil and land health. After super-hot wildfires sometimes the heat is so intense it kills the mycelium network under the ground, which makes it much more difficult for plants and trees to take root and survive.

Kaitlin and team have been taking samples of mycelium from the soil and dead trees around the land. She shared with me that the team has been surprised to see what is showing up, as mycelium doesn’t usually like pine trees as its first choice.

Here is the first batch they harvested and are growing so they can DNA sequence each species:

Once they study and categorize each type of fungi, they plan to take each sample and grow it in successively more dense and nutritious mediums until it spoors. They then will grind down the individual strains and store them. This will give them a fungi bank which can be saved for 100 years and used for future wildfire restoration.

Can you see me jumping up and down clapping my hands and crying? Because truly I am around this part of the science happening at Warrior Heart Ranch. We will truly be a hub for helping the earth heal for future generations.

- The unfolding new dream is even more beautiful for me and the land

This the view from the ridge looking over Hermit’s Peak. The terraces you see in the middle of the photograph will become seed banks for wildflowers and grasses, which will become long-term stores for future wildlife restoration in our area and beyond.

They look tiny from above, but they are huge terraces that you can see out the window of our community kitchen. Along with creating a seed bank I’m also excited to create beauty and local pollinator support by planting large swatches of cosmos, bee balm, echinacea, and other pretty flowers. Yeeeee!

One of our fall projects is dropping the generator-powered well pump another hundred feet or so to see if we can pump more water at a time into the 1500 gallon tank, which you can just barely see above the terraces.

May we all remember: grieve the loss. Feel the heartbreak. Surround yourself with people who can help you hold the vision of possibility. Especially when you can’t see it yourself yet.

Blessings!

She wrote. She walked. She loved.

Every place I travel to I always seek out place to walk, hike, or stroll. Over the years I’ve discovered many ways to put feet onto pavement or path. There is walking to get you somewhere, and walks to get lost. Walks to process emotion, and walks to receive grace. Walks as spiritual practice and walking for your health.

Here are nine ways to walk, wander, and move your body. The tenth walk is for anyone who can’t walk or needs to restrict their walking, or for the times you are sick or low-energy.

I also share a way to walk all over the world from your couch, and a couple of playlists to accompany your jaunt, marathon, or lolly.

Walk to arrive

You know where you are going. You are dedicated to finding the most efficient way to get from where you are to where you want to be. This is a utilitarian walk. Find the pace that works best for you and stay steady. Look ahead to see what people, potholes, or puppies you’ll need to avoid. If you don’t know the way plug your destination into your phone and use your headphones to listen and stay on track so you don’t have to keep glancing at your phone. Go!

Wonder wander

One of my favorite walks to do by myself or with a friend who also has a good dose of curiosity and wonder. Walk with all your senses open for miracles and miniature surprises. Look into the delicate blooming of the tiniest flowers, the way the light shines through the leaves, the arch of heavy-seeded grasses against the sky. Go off path. Look for rocks or twigs or bugs. Spider webs in the sunshine, bird nests in the trees, the shape of a fallen leaf. Imagine yourself as a bird or a lizard; what would you perceive from different vantage points? Keep shifting your perception between micro tiny delights to macro big-picture sweeps. If you are with a friend exclaim with glee at each found things and joyfully run over and share each other’s treasures and inspirations.

Pathway up Ben Ledi in Scotland, overlooking Loch Venachar

Stroll sprint

I learned this from one of my first teachers: the importance especially for women of strolling and then sprinting full out before returning to a stroll. Start at a leisurely stroll, swinging your arms and letting your legs and hips be loose and languid. Then pick a spot in the distance, take a deep breath, and sprint with everything you’ve got. (You may want to stretch before you start your stroll-sprint-stroll session!) When you reach the spot you picked, or your heart feels like it is going to fly out of your body, shift gears into a stroll. Catch your breath. Find your soft footing. Then gear up for another full-out sprint. Do this a few times. Figure out what level and speed of sprint works for your body.

Slow receive

I’ve been practicing this type of walk, which I discovered last year when I was struggling with my very busy little mind trying to fix everything. Start by closing your eyes and feeling your feet on the ground. Breathe into your shoulders and exhale to release them. Shake your body to release tension. Then walk slowly, receiving the energy and gifts all around you. Imagine that you are being held by the sky, trees, mountains. Let yourself receive the blessings being sent your way by the ancestors and the sunshine. Anytime a thought arises, reset your intent to drop back into silence and simply receive. This one takes practice, especially if you are used to doing all the time rather than resting and receiving.

I was standing enjoying this vibrant fireweed when this bee came in for a visit.

Power process

Sometimes what my body needs is to move emotions. My favorite way to use walking for this is to find a big hill or steep path up a mountain. I give myself full permission to feel my anger, frustration, grief, or other strong emotion and then invite the emotions to stir and express as I’m walking. Sometimes I’ll growl or have loud conversations as I walk. I’ll wave my arms and stomp my feet and make faces. At a certain point of the hike I’ll have to completely focus on just getting up the hill or over the rocks. I’ll invite my body to keep processing and releasing the pent up energy without needing to think about it. Usually by the end I’m exhausted and emotionally clearer.

Clarity jaunt

For when I’m confused. I’ll often set intent before I go to bed to start untangling my thoughts and fears in my sleep. Then when I wake up I’ll go out for a jaunt, inviting in answers to my questions. Sometimes the jaunt is five times around the neighborhood, sometimes I’ll go to a favorite path for the walk. I’ve found these jaunts work best in places I am more familiar with so I can let go and allow the environment to hold me as I find my truth.

Health walk

I’m learning as my body ages that it needs more exercise, especially after meals. Insulin resistance is causing my glucose levels to spike after meals that have any sugar or carbs. Much of the time I avoid the foods that cause glucose spikes. But for the times I eat those mashed potatoes or that slice of toast I’ll make sure to walk for at least ten minutes afterwards. Truly, we all need to take more walking or dancing breaks! You can also set your phone or watch for 10,000 steps to encourage you to walk every day. When you have a choice, walk or take the stairs. Your body will thank you.

Pilgrimage pace

Each year I try to do at least one long pilgrimage walk. Usually it is from the pyramids of Teotihuacan to the Basilica in Mexico City on December 11^th — 26 miles in 11 hours. There are two keys to long spirit-centered walks: prep and prayer. The prep is for all long hikes or walks: goldilocks shoes that are not too new, not too broken in, but are just right. My goal is to wear a pair of shoes for at least three months but not longer than nine months before I pilgrimage. I also pick the brand and type of socks that work best, test them out, and buy two new pairs before the walk. One pair I’ll wear and the second pair I’ll carry for backup and change 1/2 way or so through the walk. And most important: I cut my toenails two days before the pilgrimage. Not the day of, and not the month before (ask me how I know all this! Trail and error and pain…) I always carry dark chocolate, my prayer beads, and roses.

Sarina dance/walking on our pilgrimage to the Basilica last year; 20 miles in!

Lost lolly

I first started doing lost lollying when I worked in the financial district in Hong Kong in my early 20’s. I was working 10-15 hours a day in an incredibly busy and stressful environment. My parents lived in Kowloon on the other side of the bay in a huge high-rise apartment that was distinctive against the skyline. I would take the ferry across the bay and then jump on any bus. I’d get off someplace near my parents complex and walk my way through the mazes of buildings, or get on another bus if needed. I had quite a few adventures doing this! And I’ll still purposefully get lost to discover new things. I also get lost regularly not on purpose, so then it also becomes an adventure. Not recommended if you don’t know the areas you are traveling through, unless you are a super confident traveler and know how to read energy.

Mind walk

Your imagination is powerful: studies have found that visualizing something causes your body to respond in positive ways. So if for any reason you can’t walk or need to restrict your walking you can still walk and explore in your mind. This is actually an incredibly important practice for all of us. Imagine walking on a path you love… it may be someplace you remember from your childhood, a favorite hike in your local park, from a picture or movie you’ve seen, or be completely made up. Start with one minute. Imagine yourself walking through the landscape making it as real as possible. Notice the feel of the path beneath your feet, the feeling sense of wind or sun on your face, the smell of the air. I recommend setting an alarm as you grow your practice. Keep building up your mind walks until you can stay focused for five minutes or more.

You can then create in your mind’s eye each of the different types of walks above.

Tell me what kind of walks you love,
or which one you are going to practice this week!

Leave a comment

Partake in walks all around the world; here is a great place to start.

https://www.youtube.com/@CityWalks

Playlists

Walk - Move Stride Stomp

Walk - Slow Stroll Receive

Near the top of Ben Ledi a few days ago…

I have so much to share!!!! While I’m traveling in the wilds of Scotland There is some serious work happening up at our Warrior Heart Ranch in the wilds of New Mexico; next week I’ll share a few photos below of the current state of the most recent restoration project.

For today — a new page and some updates for Out of the Fire. I’m going to simplify the menu in the coming week — suggestions welcome of what headings you’d like to see.

I’m also adding a dedicated page of all my upcoming free and paid events, since offerings are currently through Warrior Goddess and Ash & Rose Spiritual Collective. Now you can see all the things in one place. : ) I’m excited to offer events with some of my favorite people, including my beloved firewalking mentor Peggy Dylan (Fierce Grace, August 1) and the fabulous Mary Nicosia (Rose Healing & Tarot, August 2).

Tomorrow I’m offering a workshop on relationships (live from Scotland) and Monday night is our monthly free Prayer Circle.

Blessings!

All upcoming events with Ash
https://heatherash.substack.com/p/events-with-heatherash-2026

TOMORROW; there is still space to register
Deep Dive Paid Workshop
Rupture, Repair, and Rewiring Ourselves in Relationships
Saturday, July 25 10 am to noon PDT
(10 am Los Angeles, 1 pm New York, 6 pm London)
Learn more here

Free: Monthly Prayer Circle
– Every Fourth Monday
Monday, July 27 at 4 pm PDT
(4 pm Los Angeles, 7 pm New York, midnight London)
https://open.substack.com/live-stream/260242

Free: Fierce Grace: Lessons from the Fire with Ash & Peggy Dylan
Saturday, August 1 at 10 am PDT
(10 am Los Angeles, 1 pm New York, 6 pm London)
Register here

Rose & Tarot Workshop with Mary and Ash
Sunday, August 2 at 8 am PDT
(8 am Los Angeles, 11 am New York, 4 pm London)
Learn more here

Sneak peek of the big project up at Warrior Heart Ranch… more next week!

Workshop: Shamanism and the Divine Feminine
September 11 - 13
https://hierophantpublishing.com/shamanism-and-the-divine-feminine-sep-2026/

Ancestral Fire: Connect to Your Beloved Dead and Tend Your Grief
October 28 - November 3, 2026
https://warriorgoddess.com/events/teotihuacan

Workshop: Elemental Healing: Explore the Elements
November 4 - 8
https://bookings.owlsskills.com/en/product/explore-the-elements/

VIRTUAL: SUMMER

Out of the Fire quarterly gathering
(for paid subscribers)
Sunday, August 23 at 10 am PDT
10 am Los Angeles, 1 pm New York, 6 pm London)
https://heatherash.substack.com/p/sparks

Free: Monthly Prayer Circle
– Every Fourth Monday
Monday, August 24 at 4 pm PDT
(4 pm Los Angeles, 7 pm New York, midnight London)
Join live here

Free: Fierce Grace: Lessons from the Fire with Ash & Peggy Dylan
Saturday, September 5 at 10 am PDT
(10 am Los Angeles, 1 pm New York, 6 pm London)
Register here

Note: If you registered for the August Fierce Grace you’ll receive details automatically!
You don’t need to register again.

Free: New Moon Talk & Ceremony
Sunday September 6 at noon PDT
(noon Los Angeles, 3 pm New York, 8 pm London)
Join live here

A New Relationship with Money Book Club
Thursdays September 17, 24, & October 1 at 7 pm ET
A fundraiser for Spiritual Finance Alliance with Kerry Cudmore and HeatherAsh

Sliding scale; includes a digital copy of A New Relationship With Money
Register here

When it happens, nothing else matters. And though the coming back can be difficult, my life is always different, and more spacious, on the other side.

You never know when it will happen. It cannot be forced, but you can set the stage for the experience. In fact, you must set the stage, and these days that can seem more and more difficult.

Here’s a personal story. This is a story of nothingness and everythingness, of the dance between disconnecting and reconnecting, and of balancing and harnessing the forces of stillness and action. And the importance of neutral.

Like many of us, my life is full to overflowing. Besides writing books and blogs I spend my days teaching and fostering leaders, helping to guide a business team of five plus amazing women, and handling lots of logistics. While I have the blessing of traveling often, usually the travel is for work, and I spend much of my time coordinating, holding energy, and teaching while I’m on the road.

So when I get the opportunity to totally let go, it always takes a while to unwind and surrender up my logical, take-care-of-others, coordination brain.

Maybe you’ve had this experience: you have the weekend off or you are on vacation, but you spend the first day or three thinking about work or worrying about your kids or making lists of what you need to do. Where is the off switch on our brains?!?

It takes practice to let go. It takes a willingness to trust the universe, to trust yourself, and to carve out the space to surrender. And it is crucial.

Several years ago now I was part of a journey to India. Since I was more a participant and not logistically responsible for the trip, and since I had been sick for a week before I arrived, it was easier to release the part of me that wants to control and direct and know. That is one great gift of illness; while your immune system is low, your brainpower is also diminished, allowing you to slip into the spaces between thoughts more easily.

And so there I was, sitting on a staircase across the path from an ancient stone mother goddess statue, slowly being erased.

First, thoughts dissolved and I felt a sense of peace as I rested into the moment with no dialogue. Then, my body went from form to particles and I felt myself floating, weightless. There was no more hard stone beneath me, and even though I was surrounded by people I was joyfully alone and expanded. Next, my sense of hearing shifted and the surrounding sounds of people talking, praying, coughing all disappeared, replaced by a silent hum in my heart.

I don’t know how long I was in this state when I felt a tug on my awareness, a sound far far away that hooked my attention. My formless self turned towards the sound and I felt myself being pulled up a long expanse of space, like being pulled on a sled at a fast speed up a snowy hill at night. Sounds coalesced into words, words into English. Two people in our group were talking loudly to my left. I opened my eyes, turned and looked at them until they felt my attention and stopped talking. I nodded and closed my eyes, plunging back into the stillness and dissolving again like a drop of rain in a pond.

One of the things about the mind that fascinates me is its ability to hold structure and form. I experience this most clearly at night. Because I travel so much I often wake up in a different hotel room or bedroom every three or four days. Even if I’ve only spent a couple of hours in a new space when I wake up in the middle of the night to pee I know exactly where I am and how to navigate to the bathroom in the dark. That my brain can map so many different places is truly astonishing to me.

And then there are the few days a year that I wake up and have no idea where I am. It usually takes a few seconds to remember as I’m coming out of sleep. Once I woke up in a familiar bedroom in my sister Christy’s house, but I had no idea not only of where I was but also no idea who I was. It literally took me about two long minutes lying in the darkness to remember where I was and to reconstruct the dream of HeatherAsh. During that time I was like a newborn baby, simply feeling and taking in sensations without words or thoughts.

This experience in India was similar but different. When it was time for us to go the being that was HeatherAsh opened her eyes and looked around without any attachment to body, mind, or story. I felt peaceful, filled with love, and absolutely detached from both my personality and my body. For the rest of the day, I floated along, slowly reconnecting with language while witnessing the amazing wonder of HeatherAsh’s body eating, or walking, or lying down.

I think if someone had been monitoring my brainwaves they would have gone from erratic to flatlined, and then a slow, steady, soft beat, like someone who had a near-death experience and was waking up filled with visions of light and spirit.

Over the rest of the journey, I invited more people to step into stillness with me, to use fewer words and more heart. Our group got quieter, but also more exuberant, which is what I see happens when we let go of who we have structured ourselves to be. There is less to say, and more to celebrate.

And then I flew from India to New York and began the often intense process of integrating back into my life.

To step back into email, traffic, social media, and work piled up after being in another dimension, both physically and spiritually, is somewhat like hitting turbulence after hours of smooth flying. Noises are jarring, answering a simple email feels overwhelming. I spent a few days alternating between sleeping, taking long walks, and staring at my email / social media world without managing to take any action. My world felt shaky and unpredictable.

About a week back I knew it was time to step back into my current reality, and that I needed a reframe. I felt disconnected to my dream, and sluggishly unenthusiastic, which is highly unusual for me. (One of the women on my team recently wrote: when you see the word “Yay!” in the dictionary HeatherAsh’s picture is next to it.) I could find a spark when talking to others, and then it would ebb into nothingness, and a sense of lassitude. I missed the colors, sounds, and energy of India. I missed the ritual, the devotion, and the chaos. I missed who I was when I didn’t have to attend to screens and deadlines.

I spent a few hours pondering if I wanted to release my current life and become a wandering mystic, like the many naga saddhus I saw in India. I could follow their example: cover myself in ash, let my hair grow out into dreadlocks, and wander barefoot from town to town.

Honestly, it was tempting.

But soon enough I remembered that my work is here.

The wandering saints and mystics of India have their part of creation covered. My part of creation is to share the wisdom gathered from my own explorations within and across this amazing planet of ours. And that takes the sometimes challenging work of integrating nothingness with everythingness, bringing the stillness into the noise.

And so I delved into exploring how to re-engage from love.

And here is the image that came to me.

Driving a car takes much of our energy and attention. If we spent all of our time driving in fifth gear going as fast as we can, soon enough we will run out of gas.

But so many of us drive trying to shift into a higher gear without the pause between, only to find the gears grinding and our engine stalling out.

In order to have a long-lasting, well-cared-for vehicle we need to put the clutch into neutral between gears. Neutral is the resting place, the effortless in-between where we re-connect with be - ing; no thoughts, no expectations, no struggles.

There are times we need to shift into neutral, turn the car off, and let go of the driving, the car, and even the landscape we are driving in.

Neutral is also the place where we connect with possibility, mystery, and the divine. Our foot is off the gas pedal, and we can rest into experiencing the foundation of our being, separate from any do - ing or striving or knowing.

And there are precious times when we come back from the emptiness of neutral and realize that we are no longer in the driver’s seat, but we are cruising along beautifully as a passenger while the Universe / Creator / Life / God / Goddess drives, winking at us and whistling a song only we can hear.

May you find your neutral, and rest into the faith to surrender the wheel and enjoy the scenery.

photo by Kayla McGee, Rishikesh January 2019

Last night I got home late, and I heard a call in the dark:

“Hello? It’s Annie!”

I walked towards her voice, realizing that I hadn’t known her name before now.

A bit of backstory: A few months ago I bought the tiny section of land next to my house in Las Vegas, New Mexico. It has a seen-better-days mobile home on the property which the person who sold me the land promised me he would move within a couple of weeks. There has been a major shit show on so many levels happening since then, which I’ll write about later. Annie and her hubby were planning to buy the trailer.

Back to Annie.

In the dark Annie tearfully told me she and her hubby were getting a divorce, and she had to clear out everything in the mobile home by herself. He left her no money, no resources, and a baby daughter. She had found an apartment to move into, but needed to empty out the mobile home so she could get the deposit back.

As she shared her fears and upset, I asked her:

“Do you want a hug?”

As she cried in my arms for a few minutes as I stroked her back and told her, “I’m so sorry this is happening. It’s going to be okay, sweetheart.”

We talked for another ten minutes in the dark: about how her husband has had so many affairs, why does she keep picking the wrong men, that he was clean but had gotten back on drugs in the last couple of weeks, that she tracked him down to get a signature she needed and found him at hotel sleeping with one of her friends from high school.

We hugged several more times, and cried together. “You are brave,” I said. “You can do this. It is going to be for the better for you and your daughter.” She agreed, and we also talked about how damn hard it is to let go, how scary to know you have to make your way alone with few resources.

She told me her plan was to show up early in the morning and clear out the mobile home, and I told her I’d come check on how she was doing when I walked Demi.

This morning I’m sitting at my kitchen table, catching up on projects and writing.

And Annie is probably next door right now moving things.

Part of me really wants to go help her: clean out the trailer with her, buy furniture for her apartment, pay her first month’s rent, help her raise her daughter…

And I know: she has her fires to tend, and I have mine.

Other people’s fires are often easier to tend than our own. Especially when you don’t have a fixed schedule, it is all too tempting to drop everything and help everyone else.

To all you creatives, artists, want to be writers, entrepreneurs, mamas, community activists, therapists, visionaries, healers, care professionals, CEO’s, yoga instructors… to all us changemakers, please remember this:

You must hold your vision, your dreams, your gifts to share with as much reverence and care as you hold the emergencies, needs, and desires of others.

Because if you don’t you’ll find yourself tending everyone else’s fire and ignoring your own.

You must have boundaries.

Your boundaries can be sometimes flexible, but they must be firm at the same time.

The most important boundaries are the ones you make with and for yourself.

These boundaries are like the rocks around your fire which help your unique light burn bright and be sustainable over time.

The world needs you to lovingly tend to your own fire, so you have the energy and vibrancy to be a creative, curious, compassionate force in the world.

This is what I call unconditional leadership.

Whether you are leading a company, a family, or a small group of people, or leading yourself, it all boils down to: learning to be a better leader to yourself.

Very few of us know how to be unconditional in our relationship to self and others.

Conditional living means you have unconscious or conscious expectations, judgments, and ideas of how your or other people “should” be doing things.

Conditional living means we remove our love, respect, and acceptance when things don’t go as we think they should. It’s like putting your own fire out when you get disappointed, frustrated, or hurt by others (or by your own expectations of yourself).

Being unconditional does not mean you always agree or like other people’s actions.

Being unconditional means keeping the fire of your love, respect, and acceptance bright despite what others do (and loving yourself even when you make a mistake, don’t meet your goals, or are struggling).

Most of us are wired to be more conditional than unconditional. We judge, criticize, compare, feel victimized, try to control, try to fix, try to make things the way we think they should be.

It’s exhausting.

This is why so many of us are burnt out, frustrated, and confused.

As we shift to more unconditional ways of being we learn to let go and listen. We stay in the present. We consider what we need. We hold our own fire. We stay sustainable. We honor our vision and where we need to put our energy. We get creative in how we can help others without dropping ourselves. We shine brightly from a centered, whole, loving place.

I know this: Annie showed up right as I got home so I could hug and love her, give her a pep talk, let her know she is not alone. In a bit I’ll go give her a gift I put together this morning for her: A candle that says HOPE on it, a signed copy of my book Warrior Goddess Training, and a tiny Wonder Woman statue for her daughter. I’ll see if I can help her move the bigger stuff with my truck. And then I’ll bless her and wish her well. Our paths may cross again, and they may not.

I trust she is on her path of healing, and I am on mine. I respect her tenacity, her power, her tenderness, her healing, her loving, her choices.

Just as I respect mine.

With love,

ash

P.S. I’m doing a free New Moon Talk live on Substack onSunday, July 12th at noon PT.
Hope to see you there, live from Scotland! https://open.substack.com/live-stream/241477

Here is a video of the aspen trees we have been planting along the creek:

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Tomorrow I’ll hang out with dear friends here in Teotihuacan, Mexico and watch the World Cup match between Mexico and England.

But today, I cocoon.

Here’s a glimpse into last week’s Sundoor Firewalk Instructor Certification Training; a week of learning how to build, tend, and create sacred connection to the fire as teacher; I hope you can drink into your cells the joy radiating from these two pictures!

And now to other kinds of fire I’m currently tending to:

In late spring I wrote two articles grappling with the rampant fires of sexual abuse, sex trafficking, and perpetrators: Part 1 Make Them Precious Again | Part 2 Rage, Hopelessness & What is Needed Now. After months of research and inner struggle I felt good about my final integration: to face and hold the horrors and the immensity of sexual abuse and sex trafficking while also holding prayers and possibility of survivors finding pleasure and thriving in their lives.

And then I received a private message from a friend Betsy Chasse (Substack: 50 Shades of WTF) telling me I had missed the mark.

In my head I defended myself. I felt misunderstood. I felt exhausted to have put my inner workings out there, only to be told it was not good enough. I felt angry that I was being perceived as spiritual bypassing when I’m so dedicated to going through, not around or over.

And yet. As I re-read my articles I could see her point.

Here is part of our conversation:

Hello my love… I wanted to open a dialogue about this essay. Because, well, I can absolutely appreciate that … we should allow victims of abuse to move along with their lives and not continue to see them as victims the part where you’re basically saying, we shouldn’t rage the perpetrator, is the problem… I’d be happy to have a dialogue with you about this because I think that there is a real disconnect … happening with people who are looking at these kinds of messages that we should just love and said love you watch for rage and stuff like that and it’s just not helping the situation because the reality is we’ve been accepting and meditating and loving a long time and it hasn’t stopped so I think some healthy rage is needed.

My response:

I totally fucking agree!!!!! Which is why I wrote the following in that essay.... to honor the rage. It is so important. I”m happy to talk more about it. I was working an edge around what we do with survivors and of course fall short. I absolutely DO NOT believe in the love and light we should just pray and make it all better. I’ll read the other article. Thanks for reaching out; I sent a link so we can jump on zoom. Big love.

..... All of these stories and photos make me want to strike these men dead with acid and lightening. My raging self wants them to suffer, to be exposed, to feel the pain they have caused ten-fold. The rage wants instant, painful karma for the perpetrators.
I know this is not the answer. We don’t want to get stuck in the fire of rage or revenge. But I do believe it is important at times to consciously fan the flames of our rage, to let the heat clear out any stagnation or fear. Then we can channel this heat into positive, directed action.

And her reply:

So when I read that paragraph what I read is rage wants instant karma, painful karma for the perpetrators and that we shouldn’t get stuck inspire of rage. But I don’t think holding perpetrator‘s accountable, which means making sure they suffer is being stuck in rage. And I read that and I love you with all my heart, but it just feels like a lot of spiritual double speak. It feels careful because it feels like rage is this bad thing and if we’re not careful, rage will do bad things… But actually rage is incredibly healthy. Violence is what isn’t healthy but because people aren’t taught that rage is healthy. They don’t know how to be rageful without being violent so you’re trying to be careful with what you say and as somebody who is a survivor whose perpetrator never saw justice I’m very clear that I don’t need to hold that victimhood, but I can still want for justice.

Betsy and I agreed we want to keep the dialogue going about rage, spiritual bypassing, justice, and more.

And we want to do it publicly, to share our process. So we are going live on Substack next week. Come be part of an ongoing conversation as we bring our hearts, minds, and experiences together to talk about hard things. Mark your calendars:

Hear Betsy and me in live conversation! Raw, honest, curious.

Live with HeatherAsh and Betsy Chasse
Wednesday July 8th 11 am PT
(11 am Los Angeles, 2 pm New York, 7 pm London)

Join live here

https://open.substack.com/live-stream/260212

Loves, may we keep walking all the fires: both physical and emotional using the fire as a teacher and guide.

Challenges, conflict, and fear are not something to avoid, but something to face. The fires of life invite us to face ourselves, expand, grow, listen more deeply. We don’t have to walk all the fires presented to us; some are not ours to attend to. And those fires that are ours to walk can help us ignite more courage, compassion, and creativity.

Here are a couple of articles from Betsy, who is has an insiders view into the harm perpetuated by the wellness / spiritual industry. She was co-creator of What the Bleep Do We Know!? and author of Tipping Sacred Cows.

50 Shades of WTF

Karma is a bitch

I’ve been feeling really low today…

Read more

2 months ago · 126 likes · 47 comments · Betsy Chasse

50 Shades of WTF

Spiritual Bypassing and the Protection of Power

It’s interesting to think about where this obsession with forgiveness actually came from…

Read more

6 months ago · 24 likes · 8 comments · Betsy Chasse

As always I’m open to your thoughts, comments, concerns, ponderings, fury… share anything below!

Leave a comment

Old mud bricks, wood, and glass crashed together as we pushed out walls and later pulled up layer after layer of old carpet. Under piles of melted adobe we unearthed mason jars filled with fermented stew, rusted cookware, and a few tiny toys.

May 19, 2019 Tear down crew

Beneath all of it was a solid grey rectangle of 20 x 30 cement foundation, about two feet wide.

A base to build from.

May 23, 2018 Getting to the foundation

Over the next two years volunteers came and got dirty. Very dirty.

We made adobe bricks from the old walls. 400 of them. By hand, wheelbarrow by wheelbarrow.Using that old foundation we rebuilt the walls brick by brick. We hauled cement up on scaffolds to make a bond beam which held everything together. We added a roof, windows and doors.

August 4, 2020 Adobe bricks with words from our community

Spring and fall people would gather to help with the work of building a community kitchen in the wilds of New Mexico.

For years we cooked meals on dirt floors with portable propane stoves. Each season something new was added: gravel to the floors. An outdoor washing station with four scavenged metal sinks which we moved inside and made permanent. A portable solar system for lights.

June 26, 2020 Our portable kitchen inside the old foundation

October 2, 2020 East Wall

January 24, 2021 Roof on north end of kitchen

March 13, 2021 First window installed, north west corner

April 4, 2021 North half of building complete

July 23, 2021 South end of building, putting up the vigas for the roof

November 29, 2021 Inside of south side of building

March 13, 2022 Insulation added to outside walls, pre stucco

In the April 2022 wildfires we lost most of our 180 acres of ponderosa pine, pinion, and Douglass fir forest.

But even after being hit directly by the fire on the north side of the building, our community-created adobe kitchen survived.

May 21, 2022 North end: melted insulation and windows

Despite the loss and heartbreak we kept tending the hearth and heart of the dream.

Our little building was stuccoed. We added a brick floor to the dining room, and a wood stove. A propane fridge. The kitchen floor stayed gravel for another two years until we had the resources to pour cement.

From this core our wilderness retreat continued to mushroom. As we cut down thousands of burnt trees and milled the lumber we also built a yurt. A bathhouse with two toilets and a shower. An A-frame from the milled wood. We planted thousands of seeds and watched the land come back to life, wildflowers and shrub oak softening the burn scar.

The past year things have kicked into high gear. A commercial propane stove. Custom built kitchen cabinets. Matching silverware. Tables and chairs in the dining room.

June 1, 2026 Current kitchen with actual floors and stuff!

June 6, 2026 Breakfast planning of next steps for our work party

Over the years we have laughed together, cried together. We have celebrated each completed project, marveled at each incremental change.

We’ve planted gardens and trees, flowers and hope. We’ve also walked through the literal ashes of acres of death taken by the flames. We’ve been covered with black soot and tears from cutting down dead trees for erosion control.

Last week brought many momentous changes during our most recent work party: we acid-etched and sealed the kitchen floor. Installed the cabinets and butcher block countertops. Seriously organized bedding and beds and named each of our canvas glamping tents:

Luna
Sol
Rose
Adobe
Oasis
Sky

For me most significant was something that seems so small: we moved the tool shed. WE MOVED THE TOOL SHED!!!!

This shed was built to be moved… as the first tiny building we put up in 2019 I thought it would be there for a year or two at the most as we built out the core structures. Then surprise! Pandemic. Wildfire. Life. Six years passed in a blink.

Last week we moved everything out of the shed and piled things in heaps on the yurt deck. We de-constructed the shed screw by crew and panel by panel, moved it down the hill, then re-constructed it screw by crew and panel by panel. We sorted tools, paints and stain, construction materials, tents, sleeping bags. We threw away a good two truckloads of things. Then we moved things back into a now very organized shed.

June 2, 2026 Part of the shed contents on the yurt deck, and our sorting crew

The amount of labor and love, of hands and heart and resources coming together to create this dream is immense.

But the building, the labor, the laughter and the friction is also dreaming and changing us.

I recently interviewed my friend Fauzia for a podcast and we talked about the importance of doing things by hand in the midst of the AI revolution. When we struggle and sweat and think our way through things we come out changed on the other side. The process changes us, hones us. We clarify our values and vision.

Sometimes slow is the best path. Struggle shapes us. Beauty emerges from the ashes.

Warrior Heart Ranch has been a beautiful, challenging, messy struggle of the best kind. We have labored to birth something tangible, a sacred space that will live long after us. As we wrestle with doing hard things, a home comes to life. We destroy to create. And with each step we find ourselves and each other.

November 4, 2018 Where we began

December 1, 2025 Where we are now; mural by Emily K. Grieves is called Restoration Sanctuary

June 1, 2026 So many good meals and love spill out from this sacred hearth

With oceans deep and mountains high gratitude for each being who have donated finances and time, send wishes, and labored to create a gathering place here in the wilds of Northern New Mexico. Keep going on your dreams, dear ones and helping others manifest the impossible!

This audio is a love note to you from Warrior Heart Ranch : ) Sending you hugs from New Mexico!

Image by Jen Holga:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1242256607/twin-skies-print-new-moon-gemini-photo

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Today, as we near the Summer Solstice, I want to share about the Warrior and Goddess energies in relation to something I’m incredibly passionate about: firewalking.

Cue the song: She’s just a girl and she’s on fire by Alicia Keys…

I was 24 years old when I went to my first firewalk workshop. I had no idea what a firewalk was, but my spiritual mentor at the time, Vicki Noble, encouraged me to go.

So I went, absolutely unsure what I was getting myself into, but willing to show up.

That one rainy evening in northern California, in a circle of forty women dancing across red, hot coals, completely transformed my life in the best way possible.

I went from being an incredibly shy, introverted, and self-doubting young woman to someone who blossomed into a grounded, passionate, and creative fiery mentor and guide.

Now, this did not happen in one night. But the spark was lit, and I continued to follow the flame: first to immerse myself in a firewalk instructor training with my mentor Peggy Dylan, and later to commit to a decades-long apprenticeship with don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements.

I’ve now been sharing the power of the firewalk for over three decades, and in my intimate relationship with fire I’ve learned some important lessons.

Firewalking is an ancient practice, a ceremony that is found all over the world. Humans come to the fire for one or both of two reasons: motivation and/or healing.

And here is where we link back to the energies of Warrior and Goddess and connect it with the firewalk. For there are two main types of firewalks: what I call “line” firewalks and “circle” firewalks. Here is a two-minute clip from a firewalk workhop in Teotihuacan a few years ago:

Line firewalks are focused on motivation and breakthrough. They are literally done in a line where you walk the red-hot coals once, focusing on stepping through your fear and claiming your power and vision.

Here’s a great example of a line firewalk with Tony Robbins and Oprah (4-minute video).

This is a warrior walk: get your energy and courage up, and GO NOW!!!! You can hear people shouting “YES YES YES” and Tony literally shouting in Oprah’s ear that she can do it.

I was trained by the same person who trained Tony Robbins. Most of us in the Western Firewalking Movement were trained by either Tolly Burkan or Peggy Dylan, or one of the instructors they trained. I was blessed to be trained by both Tolly and Peggy to be a firewalk instructor in their second to last training together in 1991.

My mentor and dear friend, Peggy Dylan, shares what I call circle firewalks. In a circle firewalk you can walk or not walk, walk as many times as you like, walk slowly, or dance. The group gathers around the coals in a circle, chanting, clapping, and celebrating each person who crosses the fire.

Here is a video from one of our firewalks; you’ll see how different they are as people dance and whirl and smile across the coals (1-minute video).

I call these circle firewalks: stepping with the fire into our connection with the sacred and our own divine heart and joy: Goddess magic. Even people who don’t walk have cathartic experiences.

And just like humans, we are not one or the other; neither pure warrior nor pure goddess. We are each a blend of these energies, in different mixes. Some of us are more Warrior, or linear in our expression and energy; and some of us are more Goddess, or circular in our expression and energy.

Firewalks are the same; they can be a blend of line (warrior/motivation) and circle (goddess/connection/healing). So knowing what you are looking for is important.

I have led both line and circle walks, and honestly do not think one is better than the other. They each have different purposes and gifts. For corporations I tend to do line firewalks. At most gatherings and Warrior Goddess weekends we do more circular, wildly joyful circle firewalks.

What I love so much about firewalking is how much change can happen in one evening that is somatic and lasting. You can’t think your way through a firewalk. You have to show up with your full being, and be ready to step into the mystery.

The second thing I love is how the firewalk is a metaphor for life. It’s not just about walking across hot coals, but a way to fully engage with the challenges and uncertainties that life brings.

So what metaphorical firewalk are you facing in your own life? What scary bed of coals lies before you?

Do you need to bring in more warrior energy, or more goddess energy? Or some of both?

I’d love to hear what kinds of fires you are walking at this time. Hit reply to this email, or comment below. I answer every comment and note.

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If you have experienced sexual harm, please be extra gentle with yourself. Below I share some rough stats and stories, explore how to transmute our rage and hopelessness, and close with new ways to hold survivors with love.

Monica Lewinsky changed the way I think about survivors.

For those of you who don’t know who Monica is: She became internationally known in the late 1990s after U.S. president Bill Clinton admitted to having had an affair with her during her days as a White House intern between 1995 and 1997. Monica was thrust into the public eye and viciously shamed for decades.

Lewinsky wrote in a Vanity Fair article that it was the public humiliation she suffered in the wake of the scandal that permanently altered the direction of her life: “Sure, my boss took advantage of me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensual relationship. Any ‘abuse’ came in the aftermath, when I was made a scapegoat in order to protect his powerful position. . . . The Clinton administration, the special prosecutor’s minions, the political operatives on both sides of the aisle, and the media were able to brand me. And that brand stuck, in part because it was imbued with power.”

In a recent interview, Monica connected something many of us sense but don’t fully name: How her public vilification and shaming at a global level was reflective of “how we feel about women: the same way that there were women tied to a post and burned at a stake and called a witch… those things have always been in our collective history.”

… See below for more resources on Monica’s current activism and her podcast, Reclaiming.

We need to remember the past so we can make sense of current times.

There are many layers to the shaming of women, misogyny, power over dynamics, and sexual abuse. In this article I explore one facet our collective history: the European and New World witch hunts.

In college I read a book called the Malleus Maleficarum, (the Hammer of the Witches, written in 1486). As a young witch studying European goddess traditions and earth-based spirituality I wanted to go to the source of the Burning Times in Europe.

The Hammer of the Witches is a gut-wrenching read: the author shares his fantasies about what witches do and describes in great detail how to use torture to get confessions from witches, including sexual torture.

Torture included:

• Sleep Deprivation: The most common form of torture. Forcing suspects to stay awake for days on end to break down psychological resistance and induce hallucinations.

• The Boots: A heavy iron shin-vice that was tightened around the legs, sometimes forcing hot water or lead to be poured over the device until the limbs were severely crushed or roasted.

• Witch Pricking: Professional “prickers” used needles to pierce suspects’ skin searching for a “Devil’s mark” (a spot believed to be insensitive to pain).

• Thumbscrews: Used to painfully crush the thumbs and fingers of the accused.

• The Scold’s Bridle (Branks): A restrictive iron cage placed over the head featuring a metal tongue that pressed into the mouth to prevent the subject from speaking.

The most severe prosecutions, during what was later called The Burning Times, took place between the years 1560 and 1630, largely ending in Europe around 1780.

In some areas the witch trials decimated rural farming communities. The Trier Witch Trials (1581–1593) are considered one of the largest mass executions in European peacetime history. Across 22 villages in the diocese of Trier, 368 people were burned alive. In the rural Trier region, a hunt in 1585 left two entire villages with only one female inhabitant each. ~ https://15minutehistory.org

The witch hunts came to the New World in 1692, when 200 people were convicted and 19 women hung and one man stoned to death in Salem, Massachusetts.

In 1727 Janet Horne was the last person to be executed legally for witchcraft in the British Isles. Anna Göldi was a Swiss housemaid who is often remembered as the “last witch of Europe.” Göldi who was executed by decapitation by sword in Glarus, Switzerland on June 13, 1782.

These were real women, real people who were tortured, sexually abused, and murdered in horrific ways. The official number of “witches” killed during the witch craze is around 100,000; some think this number was much higher.

In the late 1980’s when I was first reading about the Burning Times the belief was that as many as 9 million women were killed, many of them midwives and herbalists. Even though this has been disproven by historians the number still persists in some circles. But regardless of the number of people killed or whether they considered themselves witches (most did not) I think the important thing to understand is the fear the Church created for women and the men who stood up for them.

By horrifically torturing, jailing, and killing women the people in power made it clear: step out of line, be different, catch our attention and we have the right and legal backing to do whatever we want to you, including burning you at the stake.

The echoes of this time continue to haunt us in all sorts of insidious, hidden ways, nestled in ancestral memory: women afraid (or without any concept) to say no, women afraid to speak up, to be seen, to claim their power. Women shamed, diminished, belittled. *

Many of us have been watching the Epstein files scandal unfold with incredulity:

How is it possible for so much evidence of harm and sex trafficking of young women to be exposed and there is only one person in jail: a woman?

But if you put the Epstein files against the backdrop of the misogyny, the Burning Times, and men’s consolidation of power and control; if you know about the centuries of hidden torture and public shaming of mostly women it seems less mysterious.

This is just a new form of torture and control. Of ownership. Of entitlement. Of power over.

I do believe the tide is shifting as more and more people are speaking out, sharing their stories, standing up to power structures. The women speaking out, coming together to expose about Epstein’s abuse, even if nothing seems to be shifting, is monumental. And even if it is now mostly out of the media, we need to keep listening and taking in the stories from the survivors, and educating ourselves around sex trafficking and exploitation so we can stand against it with our full beings.

What Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell and his network of “friends’ did to so many young girls may be extreme, but it is not an isolated case, or only about wealth. What struck me is how young girls were a commodity to be bought, traded, and discarded. Epstein and Maxwell purposefully preyed on girls who had difficult childhoods, who were primed to believe they had not other choice but to give their bodies in exchange for his support.

In her book, Perversion of Justice, Julie Brown writes:

He essentially groomed them to believe that he was going to pull them out of the misery of their lives. Many of them had very difficult [lives]. Some of them were in foster homes. Their parents were on drugs. There were all kinds of circumstances that they came from. But the thread was that they really didn't have a strong family life at home. And he knew that. He studied them. He asked them questions about their life. So he found out exactly what their Achilles' heel or their vulnerabilities were.... They came to depend on him. They didn't have family life at home, a strong anchor in their own lives — and he became an anchor for them.

More resources and videos of survivors directly sharing their stories below.

As I watch survivor videos and study the statistics and hear stories and read memoirs I find myself see-sawing between the extremes of rage and hopelessness.

Rage that so much sex trafficking, child pornography, and rape continues. These are all forms of torture that injure not only the body but hurt the soul.

Hopeless because the scale is so high, the numbers so daunting, and the way people are targeting the helpless and the young is so insidious.

Just since I started writing this article news has come out about:

- May 21 - From BBC: Three teenage boys who raped two girls in separate attacks have been given sentences that are “far too lenient’, a police chief has said. Prosecutors said the assaults in Hampshire, UK, in 2024 and 2025, were “brazenly filmed” on phones and showed the boys laughing and encouraging each other. They were convicted of 10 counts of rape between them, of girls who were 14 at the time. Even after the girls bravely testified the boys are serving no prison time.

- March 26th - A CNN As Equals Investigation Exposes a global ‘rape academy.’ In shocking group chats, men encourage one another to drug and assault their wives – and swap tips on getting away with it

The investigation unearthed a website called Motherless that teaches men how to drug and rape their wives and post the videos online. It has apparently been shut down as of a few days ago, however I’m sure it is not gone only moved.

- May 21st: – A Mississippi man was sentenced today to four years in prison for possessing over 17,000 images and 4,000 videos of children under 12 engaging in sexually explicit conduct. “Every video viewed and image produced contributes to the ongoing harm and victimization of vulnerable children,” stated Special Agent in Charge of the FBI Jackson Field Office, Robert Eikhoff. “Honeycutt exploited the innocence of our youth.”

- March 2nd: The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children reported an alarming increase in child sex trafficking and online child sex exploitation in 2025. Child Sex Trafficking: Reports surged by 950% in 2025 (from approximately 6,000 to over 62,000 reports). The NCMEC also reported that in 2025 online platforms submitted 98,489 reports related to child sex trafficking. A huge increase from 8,480 in 2023. NCMEC emphasizes that these numbers represent real children experiencing harm and calls for increased awareness and action from parents, caregivers, and technology companies.

March 25 - BBC interviews five Epstein survivors. "He liked the fear in our eyes," one of the survivors said of Epstein's abuses. "I think he liked that we were frozen and scared and didn't know what to do, and I think he got off on that."

Instead of burning women at the stake we now torture children and dampen women’s inner fire with the weight of fear, abuse, betrayal, shame, objectification, and confusion.

Even if we don’t directly experience sexual abuse, and so many of us have, we hold the stories of hurt and harm in our bones. We know how vulnerable we are.

All of these stories and photos make me want to strike these men dead with acid and lightening. My raging self wants them to suffer, to be exposed, to feel the pain they have caused ten-fold. The rage wants instant, painful karma for the perpetrators.

I know this is not the answer. We don’t want to get stuck in the fire of rage or revenge. But I do believe it is important at times to consciously fan the flames of our rage, to let the heat clear out any stagnation or fear. Then we can channel this heat into positive, directed action.

Rage transmuted becomes creative action.

It is also vital for us to be with our feelings of hopelessness. It is definitely a balance; we don’t want to get caught in the quicksand of despair or depression. But turning to face the extent of harm happening keeps our heart tender and our eyes clear. We don’t want to armor ourselves or numb out. Humans are awful to each other. Humans are also delightful, creative, humble, and altruistic. Let’s choose to love, to feel joy, to celebrate in spite of, as medicine for, the harm. Otherwise the harm already done continues to infect us all.

Hopelessness transmuted becomes vulnerable compassion.

How do we hold the Epstein survivors? How do we hold those sexually abused, raped, trafficked, stolen?

How do we hold ourselves if we have been abused?

Instead of holding others or ourselves as victims forever or frozen at the age they /we were abused, hold permission and blessings for freedom from the past. For pleasure. For wild joy. For creative expression. For love.

This is not to negate the abuse, or minimize it. Please don’t do that, to yourself or anyone else. Stay with where you are, not where you wish you were; be with others on their journey of healing. We can accompany each other with tenderness and patience. Let yourself and others change.

It is so easy to freeze people into place, to mentally not let them evolve. I caught myself doing just that recently. I stumbled across a 2021 documentary, Groomed, by Gwen Van de Pas who was sexually groomed by a family friend and mentor. The movie was successful when it was released, and then it disappeared. No matter how much I searched I couldn’t find a way to watch it, or get more information. I was getting frustrated when I finally found a link to Gwen’s current website.

Why was there no mention of her documentary? I huffed as I read her bio. Then I laughed at myself when I realized the new story happening right before my eyes as I clung to her old story. Her website was for her obviously very successful hand-crafted artificial flower arrangements. There were photo after photo of enormous glorious bouquets to rent or buy. The river of her life had moved on, flowing from secret hurt to shared story to manifesting beauty for others to behold.

bloomandwolf.com

And here is where we circle back to Monica.

She shared an important awareness on our attention in relationship to survivors in the public eye:

This is something we can give to survivors. Refrain from projecting your opinions, fears, or stories onto them. Even healing energy is attention, and can feel like a burden when thousands or even millions of people are focused on your past trauma. Remember the intense vulnerability of publicly disclosing some of the most challenging times of your life.

And this is true whether someone is public or a friend sharing their experiences. Hold compassion without minimizing their pain. Let them have their experience without fixing or holding it in your own body. You don’t need to carry other people’s trauma. This doesn’t lessen their burden, it doubles the pain.

Instead, let’s hold an offering of pleasure.

Imagine this: When I was a kid in Thailand I remember seeing huge piles of colorful fruit, flowers, and incense at the temples during special holidays. These sacred offerings to the gods were left inside in front of statues, or sometimes outside of the temple. The belief is that the gods would come by and eat the essence of the offering when they were ready. Later the fruit and food would be passed around to the community. The pleasure of the best fruits and foods was thus shared twice: with the invisible realms and with the physical community.

Photo by © Yaowalak Rahung | Dreamstime.com

What if every time you thought or heard of someone who had been harmed, whether a friend or a stranger, you paused and sent them a silent offering of beauty and pleasure.

Instead of raging at the perpetrators and/or feeling sorry for the victims we can take new action with compassion.

Offer a bouquet of beauty.

Offer the sweet smoke of peace.

Offer the taste of pleasure.

Offer the colors of self-compassion.

You can say a prayer along with the vision of your offering:

I’m sorry you were harmed. You are perfect. You are whole. You are deserving. I pray for your healing and for claiming your pleasure. Here is an offering, from my heart to yours.

Imagine placing your energetic offering — the glory of fully blossoming flowers, the cleansing scent of incense, the juiciest ripe fruit — between yourself and the person harmed. Don’t force it on them. Don’t try to take away their experience. Let go of expectation. Offer it up as you would to a goddess, in faith that when she is ready she will come be nourished, reminded, remembered.

For this is what we need in these times: for women to reclaim and remember our resilience. Our power. Our innocence. Our joy. Our pleasure.

May all those harmed in all times — those killed, those tortured, those raped, those sexually abused, those shamed, those demeaned — find pleasure again.

Find peace.

Find the power of self-love.

Find self-forgiveness.

Find their way back to wholeness.

And may we hold them, and ourselves, gently.

With love,

ash

P.S. Almost every day at some point I feel like breaking things or screaming loudly without restraint. I think this is a normal response to these times. I breath through it and allow the energy to move. Then I choose where I want to put my attention and actions to create a world beyond violence — where women know the freedom of pleasure and joy, men have playful purpose and rooted presence, all gender expressions are celebrated and uplifted, and children are held as precious, precious, precious.

How is your rage? How is your hopelessness? What is your prayer? Share in the comments. I’m grateful for you and your beautiful heart.

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RESOURCES

Below are many resources, books and videos.

Scroll to the end for a special spell for survivors,
specifically for Out of the Fire paid subscribers.

FOR SURVIVORS

https://rainn.org

https://www.worldwithoutexploitation.org

https://www.nsvrc.org/survivors

https://endrapeoncampus.org/survivor-resources

https://ourrescue.org/survivor-care

A CELEBRATION FROM THE INDOMITABLE E. JEAN CARROLL….

Ask E. Jean

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OLD WOMAN BEATS DONALD TRUMP TWICE…

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3 years ago · 3588 likes · 1493 comments · E. Jean Carroll

READINGS

A great article from my friend Perdita Finn about rage.

Take Back the Magic

Summoning the Furies

[art: Maria Rubanova…

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7 months ago · 147 likes · 14 comments · Perdita Finn

Get her new book Mothers of Magic: Summoning the Wisdom of Our Ancestors

BOOKS

Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice

Perversion of Justice: The Jeffrey Epstein Story

Dear Sister: Letters from Survivors of Sexual Violence

Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape

Every Man: Why Violence Against Women Is a Men’s Issue, and How You Can Make a Difference

MOVIES / VIDEOS

The Tale on HBO

Director Jennifer Fox chronicles her story of childhood abuse at the hands of a high-school coach in this powerful, devastating film. This movie really shows how grooming happens, and the power of turning to face and heal the past. Highly recommended. If you are a survivor you may not want to watch this one, or have a friend with you. There are some rough scenes.

Soft White Underbelly: Interviews with Jeffrey Epstein Survivors

Playlist
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBEIBBdgAOAp75g4eNFTS869G2NSX11QH

Epstein Files: Youngest Survivor Demands Justice

Marina Lacerda, one of the youngest victims on record, was just 14 when Epstein preyed on her. Lacerda, now a determined advocate, leads the charge for true accountability in the saga.

Monica Lewinsky Reveals All

The Price of Shame

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