From my must-have hair product to…

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Your favorite bougie & bi-coastal Chef and I are back in the kitchen, right where we belong — in our matchy-matchy uniforms, sprinkling edible gold flakes and caviar, all on Terry’s credit card (sorry honey, I saved the receipts!!)

You saw the teaser on Insta earlier this week, and now Chef Bae is sharing with the Fancy That community her bespoke STEP-BY-STEP recipe so you can make these delicious caviar crêpes for your next dinner party — or if you’re like us— a simple Friday afternoon snack.

THE INFAMOUS FANCY THAT CRÊPE RECIPE

Gluten-free, dairy-free and a little #botched — but luckily we knew the man for fixing the job.

• 2 large eggs

• ½ cup non-dairy milk, or more as needed

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Ahead, I am breaking down the five MUST do’s and three do not’s of hosting (as well as attending) a #fancyAF dinner party. Let’s get into it 🥂

Do: Have a Seating Chart

Listen — you have to have a seating chart. You just do. Only you know who you're inviting, and whose personalities will be a good match. For example, if a person is particularly quiet, put them next to someone who talks. And I am the first to admit that even if you have the best intentions, things can still go awry…

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BTW – we discuss alllll things RHOC in the Sip & Tell chat, available for everyone this week but switching to VIP Members (paid subscribers only) on Friday 💋

So, I’ve been wanting to share this Style Diary with you ever since Terry and I got back from our Mr. & Mrs. trip to Venice – you guys know I take packing quite seriously, and dare I say I outdid myself this time around! I styled looks for every occasion Italy has to offer. Think: from pool days and spa days to late-night dinner looks that are as chic as they are comfortable. I have all the outfit recipes ready for you, AND linked, below :)

Without further ado, let’s break down my Venice Style Diary!

Monday:

We typically fly to Italy from LA, but since I was in NYC for my press trip we took a red eye from the East Coast and the flight was shorter than what I’m used to. I wanted to wake up in Italy feeling cute and cozy… enter, this look:

Outfit Breakdown:

• Versace Graphic Tee

• Helmut Lang Skirt (similar)

• Red Chanel Crossbody Bag

• Alexander McQueen Sneakers

• Chanel Sunnies

Tuesday:

I love this look so much. It’s Alexandra Miro and perfect for a day at the pool. The skirt moves with you when you walk, it’s so fun. I have my signature matchy-matchy nude/pink nails for the trip with a layer of chrome over them. Fancy That.

Outfit Breakdown:

• Alexandra Miro Bikini Top

• Alexandra Miro Polka Dot Skirt

• Prada Woven Tote

• Chanel Flip Flops (and a dupe!)

Wednesday:

Headed to the pool! Obsessed with this set over a simple black bikini. Kylie just gets it.

Outfit Breakdown:

• KHY Midsummer Silk Top

• KHY Midsummer Silk Skirt

• Valentino Knotted Mules

• VIX Black Bikini

• Chanel Sunnies

Thursday:

What I love about Europe is that people eat dinner late — a.k.a., more time to sip and chill at the pool ;) This was my look for dinner at Cip’s Club (a gorgeous spot at Hotel Cipriani —very fancy, very me!) It was the perfect weather to sit outside and watch the sunset in a breezy dress <3

Outfit Breakdown:

• Loewe Dress + (Similar on SALE!)

• Amina Muaddi “CIAO BELLA” Glass Slippers

• Fendi Bag (Similar)

Friday:

The perfect shopping day ‘fit! Comfortable, casual. I wore a sparkly black Prada handbag to tie in the black sparkles on the back of my sneakers. BTW, these tanks are a must-pack for EVERY trip !!

Outfit Breakdown:

• Saint Laurent Sunnies

• Enza Costa Tank

• Prada Cleo Satin Bag with Crystals

• Alexander McQueen Sneakers

Saturday:

Headed to the Dior Spa! In my signature Fancy That fashion… this GRWM dress is under $100 (IYKYK!) and an Alo cardi. It looks white here, but it’s actually the prettiest lavender color.

Outfit Breakdown:

• Skims Slip Dress

• Alo Supernatural Sweater Cardigan

• Chanel Flip Flops + (dupe here!!)

• Saint Laurent Sunnies

Sunday:

Dinner night two!! We were supposed to go to one of our favorite restaurants in Venice — DA IVO— but we ended up hanging at the pool until 7 PM… sue me LOL! So we ended up at Harry’s Bar instead. A classic :)

Outfit Breakdown:

• Loewe Dress in Stretch Cotton

• Gianvito Rossi Strappy Heeled Sandals

• Celine Sunnies

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See you tomorrow for a travel tip that may be even better than my packing guides… The Art of the Signature Vacation Cocktail. Consider it a must.

We just got back from our escape d’Italia this week…Venice is one of my favorite spots to vacation with Terry, just the two of us. This time, we really curated the itinerary to focus on R&R. Between filming RHOC, moving basically all four of our kids into new/different spaces, and getting ready for Fall travel, the reset button just needed to be pressed.

Which, speaking of a reset, it’s also my fave time of the month to take inventory of what’s in my beauty cabinet, my closet and my travel bag before I head off to my next vacay… and restock!! Nothing worse than looking for your favorite lip gloss or SPF and realizing you’re out. I also feel like I use more of certain products like lotions, and my fave silky pillowcases during the summer months (you’ll see my go-to sexy, sparkly SPF below!)

Okay, I’m ready to sip and shop. Scroll on, and join me! P.S. I’ll be checking into the chat, if you have any Qs about some of these fave products.

THE JULY EDIT.

Beauty & Wellness

• Kopari Sunglaze. Sparkly SPF. Makes your skin look gorgeous in the sun, and it’s protective!!

• Dior Mattifying Invisible UV Stick. I use this on my face alone, or under glam. Super high-quality skincare/SPF and won’t cause breakouts.

• Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb. I’ve really been on a Fenty gloss kick lately. I love the shade $weetmouth for summer.

• Givenchy Prisme Blurring & Sculpting Bronzer. This is the ideal “do it all” bronzer when you want to go out in the summer with a tiny bag and zero f*cks!

• Victoria Beckham Satin Kajal Liner. VB just gets it. This liner has a smudgey effect, but actually stays put…the dream combo.

• Slip Silk Pillowcase. Every night – even when I travel, I bring a fresh set with me to keep up with my skin goals (yes, sleeping on silk has been proven to limit wrinkles, and also just feels so luxurious!)

• Peter Thomas Roth Eye Patches. Pop them in the fridge and apply after an afternoon on the beach, or when you first wake up for a pick me up that’s better than cold brew.

• MOTS-c Peptides. Speak to your doctor about this one, but I love it for energy and weight control.

• At-Home Microneedling. I saw Paige Lorenze was doing a version of this too, as an at-home monthly treatment before her wedding – totally agree! Great for skin cell turnover.

Fashion & Style

• Cult Gaia Raffia Tote. Summertime for me means something raffia at all times!! You can elevate it with a twilly or silk scarf, too.

• Minimalist Sandals.You guys know I love Chanel, or another option would be this cute pair from TKEES.

• The Official Summer Pant is Linen. From Prada, to Zara.

• Midi or Maxi Skirts. I find these two lengths the most elegant; a little above the knee, or below the knee for me.

• A Crisp Tank. I always keep a rotation of black and white tank tops for under athleisure, for GRWM moments or on their own!

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What are some of your summer go-to’s? Leave me a note in the comments, I’m always down to try new things! Have a gorgeous weekend.

Keep scrolling for the behind-the-scenes on my NYC trip — from what I prep and how I pack, to the must-haves that keep me flying high from coast to coast.

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PRE-FLIGHT ESSENTIALS

I’m a firm believer that the best way to feel polished and stress-free is prepping the day before. In the morning, I took a hot pilates class with Ace, packed my carry-on and helped Terry purge his closet. SO cathartic. I woke up with a bit of anxiety about this trip and what I was taking with me, so an at-home mani with Kimmy (the BEST in LA!!) is like R&R and the glam before the glam, you know what I mean?

4:15 A.M.

iPhone wake up call. And, I don’t drink coffee (other than an espresso martini, of course).

3:33 p.m. Arrived in NYC!!

Straight from the airport to Fouquet’s – I’ve been dying to try it, and it’s better to try new hotels without Terry, tbh LOL. Everyone thinks I’m the fussy one… but spoiler alert, it’s him! We typically stay at the Four Seasons, and I’m ready to spice it up.

6:47 p.m. Dinner with Lizzie

Lizzie Collins and I have been friends for a hundred years, and I love when I get to see her – although it’s never in Newport Beach or LA, where we live, ha. We each have four kids and bonded over that right away. Our joke is that if I’m Fancy Pants, she’s Smarty Pants, and we wouldn’t have it any other way!

10:34 p.m. Sleeeeep!

My sleep ritual stays with me on every timezone. You can shop my ultimate beauty sleep kit, here.

7:13 a.m. Room Service

Pre-elliptical breakfast – all about the protein for me. Energy!!

1 p.m. GRWM for WWHL

4:16 p.m. Ready to Spill the Tea!!

The Look…

4:50 p.m. Pizza Break

9:01 p.m. En Route Back to Los Angeles

And just like that, it’s back to the West Coast :) Tune in next week for the Fancy That July Edit – everything I’m obsessed with for a mid-summer treat 💅

Hope you have the best weekend!!

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Anyways, I’m in back-to-back meetings with editors, podcast recordings (I’m a guest on a few of my favorite pods out here, can’t wait to share!!) and prepping for a little something I’m hosting tomorrow night. I’m thinking of wearing this — thoughts?!

Terry, Kat and Nicky arrived today — so grateful for their support and to run around Manhattan with the fam. Some of my favorite spots we’ll be hitting: Pop-Up Bagels, Monkey Bar and Ulta. I forgot my lipstick at the hotel when I was running around taking meetings, and you know I cannot leave the house without a gloss! Picked up the Dior Lip Maximizer in shade Intense Rosewood. Will share some BTS and our dinner tonight on social, if you want to follow along <3 Now, without further ado: check out the five fancy things I find worth the money — PLUS, an alternative accessible version. The Top Shelf vs. House version on the Fancy That menu, if you will ;)

Salon-Worthy Hair Dryer

Top Shelf: NEW Dyson Supersonic Hair Dryer

House: Laifen High-Speed Hair Dryer (available in fun colors!!)

Signature Jewelry Piece

Top Shelf: XIV KARATS Custom Jewelry

House: Mejuri Diamond Letter Necklace

Slip Dress

Top Shelf: Skims Fits Everybody Slip Dress

House: DISSH Paloma Black Slip

Fresh Cut Flowers

Top Shelf: Flamingo Estate Floral Subscription

House: Whole Foods Market

Pilates

Top Shelf: Be Kind Studios Membership

House: MWH Subscription

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What are some of your favorite things worth the $$? (Or, not — I want to make that the next trend. Bethenny gets it lol!) Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear!

After back-to-back travel the last few weeks, I just unpacked and realized that there are a few beauty staples in my rotation that I keep in every bag, to every city… the absolute MUST-HAVES I re-order as soon as I see them running out. Consider these your Fancy That beauty essentials 💋 PLUS… a bonus of what’s in my cart for Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale. There are so many good finds for me and the kids for fall. Scroll, shop and see you in the Sip & Tell chat ;)

THE ULTIMATE IT GIRL MASACARA

This mascara is the best (trust me, I’ve tried them all!) It’s a tubing mascara so it doesn’t smudge or transfer, even on crazy filming days. Thrive Causemetics, $26

THE UNIVERSAL SPF

I love this SPF because it’s tinted and adjusts to your skin tone. If you know me, you know I take sun protection seriously… maybe Terry has something to do with that! Lightsaver, $45

THE DUBROW SIGNATURE LIP

If you were to go into my bag this very minute, you would see my gloss is nearly empty – it’s my favorite lippie and is always selling out, so I buy them 5 at a time. Which, now that I think about it, may be why they are always selling out LOL. Chanel, $42

THE SWEET TREAT PEPTIDE

Once I got on the Rhode train, I never got off. All of their lip peptide shades and flavors are INSANE, but the salted caramel takes the cake. Rhode, $20

THE FOREVER EYE PENCIL

When I do my own glam (which, BTW… is probably more often than you think!) this is the eyeliner I swear by; it’s perfect for a smokey eye or waterline. Stays on forever, and it’s cheap to balance out the Chanel ;) CVS, $14.99

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Lastly, I love the Nordstrom’s annual sale and this year I’ve added a bunch of things to my cart — everything from these perfect date-night dresses from L’Agence and Proenza (I snapped a pic of me wearing it in NYC this week!) to fall ‘fits for the kids. Everything’s added to my ShopMy for you — lmk what you get !!

P.S. Follow along on social as we take Fancy That off the page, and on-screen for some chic (and dire) tips that I hope you find valuable. I’m curious, what’s one of your BIGGEST etiquette pet-peeves?! Let me know in the comments, I’ll go last…

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We started the show when my youngest was 9 months old, and he’s going to be 16 years-old in December…insane!

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I joined the show in Season 7. At that time, there were no other actors — and in my industry, doing reality was very looked down upon and I honestly thought it was the last nail in the coffin that had been my career.

Right away, I learned how the landscape of television was changing, and what an incredible platform it was and has obviously become exponentially better over the years. I have this joke about The Bachelor; it’s like, spoiler alert: the kids on The Bachelor aren’t looking for love, they’re looking for followers. I think back then, even if you kind of knew what you were getting into, you didn’t really understand what you were getting into…right?

I thought, I can do this! We just show our lives, it’s not a big deal! This should be fun. Then you’re filming, and you think, holy shit, because you really don’t know how it’s all going to end up. After all these years of Reality TV – not just Housewives, but The Bachelor and Summer House, and The Real World, and Big Brother, and all these series we have now, the people that are watching are savvier, the people being cast on them are savvier, and it really just changes the whole dynamic.

It makes me nostalgic! Tamra and I talk about this a lot — how her, Shannon, Vicky, and I, are like the four originals in the way each of us sort of changed the trajectory of the show. BTW, there have been incredible cast members over the years, but Vicki started it; and then Tamra came in and introduced us to the concept of “we love to hate her” LOL. Shannon brought this zany, kooky, off-kilter fun that we needed. And then there was me, the one who brought a luxury lifestyle and a functioning marriage to the scene. Marriage is hard, and we’re not perfect — but we always say, we survived the reality TV curse!! Despite popular belief, my hot take is that filming a show like this doesn’t kill a marriage, but it does polarize what’s already going on at home.

On Friends

This is called your life, you develop relationships and meet people. In life, we all go through phases — people come in and out of your life as you evolve. I think the same is true of reality TV. We are all sorority sisters in a way, and there’s a common bond between us, but depending on the season and what you’re going through, you may be closer with one person from year to year or season to season.

I don’t know if I ever told you guys this, but I never watched the show before I joined the cast. I saw one scene where Tamra threw wine on Jeana and it was kind of funny and I thought OK, I get it, it’s like a satire! My first time filming ended up being with Tamra showing me a real estate property and while they were setting up, we were just standing at the bar chatting and we instantly started talking about our kids — it was our through line to friendship, as motherhood in all its forms tends to be. In this cast, we’re like war buddies – we’ve traveled together, we’ve laughed together, we’ve cried together, we’ve watched divorces happen, we’ve seen people get married. I sang at Tamra’s wedding. Even if you’re pissed at someone or you’re angry, you can find your way back.

We talk about everything — like our own parents and upbringing. Emily and I bonded last year over the similar way we grew up. I took her with me when I sprinkled my dad’s ashes in Amsterdam because we had really bonded over our parents, our husbands and our kids.

On Filming with Family

As you know, I started this journey on RHOC when my kids were small… when we were asked to come back to the show, we had a family meeting. I wanted to be super cognizant of the fact that my kids were sentient beings and I wanted to be 100% sure they were okay with this (they all were excited and supportive!) In the first part of this new season, we had a party that Nicky helped me host — he loves it. Nicky and I do a lot together in this space :) Maybe you saw our Chevy commercial on Insta, it was so fun! Some of my other kids don’t want to be as involved, and I totally respect that.

Looking back, no one explained to me how to do this thing… and it’s been a wild ride that I’m so grateful is still going!! I was a pageant girl plucked from nowhere and stuck in a sea of blondes; this East Coast actress who didn’t know any of these women’s stories or relationships or anything. I love looking back and seeing all the girls trips (I had never been on a girls trip before in my life, surprisingly ?!) and when my children were young, and the milestones we’ve been through as a family.

It’s my very Heather-Hot-Take that RHOC goes deeper into the cast’s personal lives than any other franchise. It’s not just about the drama of the group, but who we really are and what’s going on in our world. You’ll see, I had a tough time this first half of Season 20. I may have gotten in my own way, I don’t know. I’ll be watching with you ;)

Thanks for sipping down memory lane with me… tune in tomorrow, 8 p.m. ET on Bravo. I’ll be jumping in our Substack Chat, too. Meet me there?!

At first glance, the appeal of going with lab instead of natural is the price, right? Let me tell you…the amount of money we’ve spent on diamonds over the years is insane! Picture this: when Terry and I got engaged, he proposed with this gorgeous, 5-carat emerald cut diamond — it’s beautiful and lovely and I still have it to this day — but eventually, the setting felt outdated to me and I stopped wearing it. Instead, I was wearing this Van Cleef flower with my eternity band as a wedding set for years. It wasn’t until I was chatting with my friend Yosi at XIVKarats and he was like, “Why don’t you wear your ring?” and offered to update the setting. I trust him and he reset it SO beautifully, I was inspired to wear it again :)

Which leads me to the “Titanic Diamond.” This got tons of press when I wore it on the show. It was my twenty something-anniversary diamond! Six years ago, we were looking at 10-carat and 12-carat stones, but I just couldn’t pull the trigger on it — that was, until we sold the house. You remember the one… I designed it from scratch! It’s only fitting that I get a commission, don’t you think?! That’s the story of how the Titanic Diamond landed in my jewelry box.

Fun fact: Terry hates diamonds. Always have, probably always will. He thinks they’re a scam LOL. This one was special because we did it together, and our friend Martin Katz found the perfect stone. The top has my initials in diamonds, and the bottom has Terry’s; he likes to say it’s because he’s buried under the weight of this investment, but if you ask me, it’s because I like being on top ;)

My thought process around lab diamonds…

I was sort of a snob about the lab thing, but then I realized a diamond is still a diamond. Think of it like this: a rose is still a rose whether it’s grown in the ground or in a greenhouse. I have IVF children that were basically grown in a petri dish…and they’re still my children! LOL.

The only way to tell a mined diamond and a lab diamond apart is this one machine — it’s like $20,000 and no one owns it except some jewelers. Maybe lab diamonds say “LG” on them, but besides all that, lab diamonds are made the same way, it’s just faster. Although, if you ask my daughter Max, she’ll tell you they’re not the same if a machine can tell them apart. Pick your poison – price, or ego!!

What’s cool about lab grown diamonds too, is that they aren’t considered a “fake” diamond to me anymore – the naked eye cannot tell them apart. Unlike a knock off Van Cleef piece, which you know how I feel about dupe culture… an absolute DON’T. The most offensive form of copyright infringement would be sewing fake Chanel buttons on a fast fashion tweed jacket. Ick.

Yet, if you owned a Chanel jacket and had these beautiful buttons from it and wanted to make them into earrings… does that count as infringement of the design? I’m not sure. I’ll have to think about that one.

How to Shop Lab

I was sitting at the reunion last year when I was looking at the ring Gina was wearing (I must say, everyone’s jewelry last year was really pretty) but I kept staring at Gina’s — I had to know where it was from. It was Jennifer Karimi. I love how she designs, and even does events… you’ll see on the show this season!!

When shopping any kind of fine jewelry though, buyer beware: the most important thing about shopping diamonds are the people who cut them. That’s the first artisan, the first touchpoint, and makes such a difference in a stone’s longevity. They have to really look at the rough stone and figure out what’s going to sit best, how to cut it to maximize its brilliance and radiance; all the things. Then you have the design of it, the setting and the side stones and the metal around it, or if you’re adding semi-precious or colored stones, etc. to make it your own.

There’s a reason they say “diamond in the rough.” It’s a lot of work to make gorgeous pieces! In our era, the diamond’s design is the best thing to invest in.

What are some of your favorite pieces? Any special occasions you’re shopping for? I’d love to do a deep-dive on lab grown vs. natural with an expert… Substack Live interviews may be in our future :)

Have a fabulous week!

If you guys tuned into last week’s Sunday Special, you know I got VERY deep into my thoughts on what it means to be marriage material, and shared a few personal stories from the early days when it was just me and Dr. Dubrow ;) As I was thinking about how we’re celebrating 27 years of marriage and are not only in love – but have the hots for each other!! – I thought about something simple that I’ve done since day one in our relationship, and even in my single years…

I get dressed in the house.

I don’t like walking around looking like shit in front of my husband, and I don’t like looking like shit, period. Fancy that!

Years ago on my podcast, I said something that I wasn’t expecting to be controversial but ended up turning everyone’s strung out panties in a bunch. I said, “Girls—go into your drawers and throw out your ratty t-shirts, anything with holes, the softest whatever, the stringy faded underwear, you know what I’m talking about.”

Let me be clear – I am not saying you need to be walking around the house in garter belts! No, thank you. If you like granny panties, great. All I ask is that you make sure they are nice, clean granny panties, okay?!

There’s a level of presentation that I think is important in all aspects of life; at work, in town, and at home with your partner; a token of appreciation for not walking around in front of your significant other in some gross hoodie with zit cream on, and I’ll say this, too – I don’t believe that getting dressed for the day is a matter of being fake. It’s self-respect!

Personally, I have a uniform for daytime at home, and a little bit sexier for nighttime. It makes getting dressed so easy, and a little effort goes such a long way. Want a peek?

The OG HD Daily Uniform

For years, it was black soft sweats like these. A bit fitted, with my hair pulled back, and no make-up. I apply a layer of my favorite face cream to feel dewy, and brush my hair back into a low bun or pony… that’s it! So simple.

Husband or no husband, just walking by the mirror and looking at yourself, you’ll feel a million times better inside and out when you consider a daily uniform. Again, you don’t have to wear Louboutins to go to the grocery store, but a cute sneaker never hurt anyone.

The New HD Uniform

These days, there is one piece in my closet that is my day and night go-to, and I have to give props to Kim Kardashian for that. Enter: the Skims Soft Lounge Slip Dress. You’ve probably seen it on Insta or on your favorite It Girls walking in the city… and there’s a reason this dress is a staple – PLUS it’s under $100!! It’s spaghetti strap, stretchy, and sucks you in – but not in a stuffy Hervé Léger way, you know what I mean? I probably own twenty of these, and wear them for every at-home occasion. It’s the perfect GRWM dress for doing skincare and glam because of the scoop neckline, and it holds up your boobs so you don’t have to wear a bra. I find robes are too hot to get ready in, so this is my version of that.

I’m also a HUGE fan of it as a sleep dress. I used to sleep naked (TMI?!😂) but being in California aka Earthquakeville I have this fear of being woken up in the middle of the night and needing to rush out of the house…preferably, wearing clothes. This slip dress/sleep dress does the trick.

The cherry on top of my daily uniform? A fabulous cardigan. I LOVE any and all cardigans, — I have sweaters that I work out in, run errands in, and cardigans I sleep in. (Don’t knock this until you try it, it’s like a mini blanket!!) Which speaking of, I also must sleep with a classic Alexander McQueen scarf (the lush modal and silk blend, there’s a difference!!) bunched up as a layer between me and my pillow – no wrinkles to be had around here, folks!

Should I do a whole post on my sleep situation? It’s a very intense lineup, but I swear by it. Beauty sleep > > >

Next up on The Dubrow Diaries: The Diamond Dichotomy – Lab vs. Natural, and keeping it real… I think you guys will be surprised to hear my hot take on the industry!

I was chatting with a friend recently who was considering if she was “unwifeable”. In other words, a modern woman who wasn’t obsessed with tradwife culture. BTW – I do think there’s a distinction between a housewife, and a tradwife, and the way we talk about it online. It’s such a funny concept to be “marriage material” – right?

You may have seen my Instagram post on June 5th, sharing some behind-the-scenes of my wedding, 27 years ago – crazy! – so I know a thing or two about relationships, and have a few tricks up my cardigan sleeve ;) This milestone brought back so many memories of how I felt as a newly wed 30-year-old: bursting with love, but also spending my days alone in Orange County, sitting on the deck smoking skinny cigarettes and cracking infinite cans of Diet Coke, wondering what was next for my acting career. And, my life.

When I met Terry, I was a 27 year old actress living the dream in Los Angeles. We went back and forth between Orange County and LA depending on my show schedule; if the show got picked up, we moved back to LA. Canceled? Back to Orange County. I remember sitting in the sun on one of those desolate OC days thinking, “I have no friends here, I have no job, I have no children. I literally have nothing to do.” My friend Jenny McCarthy came by to visit and asked, “What do you do all day?!” and I didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, that routine lasted about a month before I auditioned for new roles again in LA, and on the drive home one day they called me to say I got the part – I couldn’t say yes fast enough. Anything to get me out of the house!

Yet in other ways, I loved the Orange County wife life – not necessarily being home, but being the homemaker. I liked it and I was good at it, but that’s usually how that goes, isn’t it? I don’t cook, and to be honest, I never did… but I always made sure to prepare the food. The table is always set – even if we’re having takeout!! I liked to make it pretty on a place mat, with real silverware and all the things. We do not eat out of to-go containers in this house. Never ever!! If Terry and I are ordering salads, there is still a placemat, cloth napkins, there is a real fork. I don’t do this to be uptight – it's about respecting the meal and respecting yourself. Ladies – if you’re single, listen up: take this time to respect yourself, even when no one is around.

One thing I am loose about is eating in front of the TV – who gives a sh*t! It's my guilty pleasure. Rarely am I ever home alone, so if I could sit and eat and watch a little show or something….that is like heaven LOL. Lately when Terry is out, my daughter Max and I love to sit in front of the TV (we’re obsessed with Off Campus – she’s already seen it, but she’s watching it again with me) with my favorite soup from Din Tai Fung. HD’s micro-managed order: Noodle soup with no bok choy and no carrots – just white meat chicken, bamboo shoots, broth and the noodles on the side. TRUST!

Something else I feel strongly about is not saving things for a special occasion. Life is the special occasion. Celebrate everything!

If you listen to the pod, you know one of my jokes about Terry is that he walks around the house like he’s just scrubbed in… doesn’t touch a thing! For many years, we’re very lucky we’ve had a lot of help in the house, housekeepers, chefs, that kind of thing –but if I’m being honest, I still do everything. I can’t help it! I clear the table, I set the table etc. etc. In our apartment now, even Terry is good about putting dishes in the sink. I have a theory that’s because they’re Baccarat, and he knows better than to not take care of them LOL. Whatever works!

Twenty-seven years.

As your relationship goes on, as you grow up, as you have kids (if you do that), as your careers evolve, you go through all these trials and tribulations in your life and in your marriage, you speak differently to each other. You communicate differently. Terry and I have been together almost 30 years, and the conversations we have now are different from five years ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago, and 30 years ago.

Just the other day, we got into a fight at the airport.

We used to let it linger, but this time I texted him and said, “Come upstairs, let’s fix this.” We sat down and had this really focused, very respectful conversation. We heard each other, and it was very, very good. I felt a shift in how we handle things, and it moved us forward.

I have quite a few hot takes on keeping it spicy with your partner… from what to wear, what to toss, and how to BE your best self, dropping Tuesday… make sure you’re subscribed to get it straight to your inbox!

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When you get married, people love to give this piece of advice: Never go to bed angry.

Terry’s biggest rule? Go to sleep mad. Go the f*ck to bed! Especially if there’s alcohol involved. A good night’s sleep fixes everything… or at least in the Dubrow household, it does!

What’s your best piece of relationship advice!? Let’s start a list in the comments, below!

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We have to talk about something that has been consuming my mind since returning from St. Barths... and that is the Slutty Sparkle epidemic.

Something that I adore about St. Barths, St. Tropez, and the South of France in general is that it’s very elegant. People are DRESSED! Not just for dinner, but for the beach clubs and for bopping around town. Somewhere along the way, “quiet luxury” checked out and a suitcase full of paillettes checked in. This time around, we went with our favorite friends to travel with, Richard and Daisy – and there was a clear line drawn in the style sand: you have women who are chic and elegant, and then you’ve got the Slutty Sparkle. There’s simply nothing in between.

For those of you who haven’t been to the island before, allow me to set the scene: for years, the evening wear vibe was beautiful, elevated, and shimmery. Now, it’s starting to look like Vegas Hooker Beach to me. This look works in Vegas, obviously. On this vacay, I saw things start to devolve into the lowest-common-denominator version of fashion—like when sheer came into style, and then it got to a point where everyone just wanted to be naked. Picture Kanye West’s wife literally naked on the red carpet.

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BTW, I’m not a prude at ALL… But I do think there’s a difference between the runway and real life. Less is more. I love a sexy shoulder, a single sleeve with one arm out, or something backless. Butt cleavage, on the other hand?! I get the sparkly Gucci thong peeking out of a butt crack on a red carpet or at a couture show. It’s provocative and interesting, but I don’t want to sit next to you at the dinner table. Same with the underboob phenomenon. Kind of interesting and sexy? But again, I don’t want to bump into you—or your exposed underboob, for that matter.

I’ll tell you what I did love to see in St. Barths: a one-piece renaissance. I saw so many young women pairing them with beautiful sandals and a cute hat—which, I have another PSA for you: MEN, please remove your baseball hats at dinner!! There’s a time and a place for them, and that’s Saturday at 3 p.m. on the bleachers.

As I was thinking about my ultimate style icks from this past trip, I thought it might be helpful to share how I go about my own personal style choices – like working with a stylist for myself and my kids, while still leaning into my own intuition.

Something to consider is that scripted television isn’t the only type of on-air scene where looks are pulled and a cohesive style is crucial – unscripted (hi, Bravo!) follows the same suit, especially when it comes to reunions or a gallery shoot. (Do you guys want to see more fashion/beauty behind-the-scenes from the show? Join the Sip & Tell chat below, it’s where we’ll be discussing alllll things Housewives, and more 😉)

When I lived in Newport Beach I had a stylist that would give me great advice on what to do with what was in my wardrobe, like trying a pair of shoes with a dress I never would have thought to. But if I’m being honest, I find hard and fast fashion rules a bit too rigid for me – growing up with an artist mother with very strong opinions about art, music, clothing and of course, fashion – I felt anxious about my style and didn’t want to make a “bad” choice.

Fast forward to the Newport Beach era – I realized I had total style anxiety. I didn’t know how to get myself dressed anymore, so I stopped using a stylist and started doing it myself. Actually, it was Kyle Richards who said the funniest thing to me – she said, “I’d rather have people think I look terrible in my own clothes and skip the stylist so I can buy more stuff!”

At this point in my life, I love my taste. Just like when I designed my home in Crystal Cove—I didn’t ask anyone, and I didn’t care what anyone thought. Everyone loved it, but most importantly, I loved it—and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Eventually, I got to the same place with my clothes.

That said, I do call in the experts for special occasions and red carpet moments where I need a fresh point of view – and when I do, I call Roberto Cardenaz. I met him at E! News, and he’s such a fabulous guy. He’s got great style, great taste, and he’s been amazing for both me and my kids. Instead of taking all four shopping for new activities, travel, or back-to-school, I have them create a mood board, and Roberto pulls clothes for them to try on etc. It’s f*cking awesome.

And I know, I know—not everyone can afford a stylist. Enter the best hack: personal shoppers. You can go right to Macy’s, or your favorite local department store that offers a large inventory and great customer service. Take the time to build a relationship with your personal shopper, it’s kind of like an interview to see if they’re a fit. Then, provide them a clear budget, and they’ll take it from there!

P.S. – they also have insight into pre-sales and new arrivals, so they’ll keep an eye out for you.

The list goes on when it comes to my fashion faux pas, LOL. What’s something you’re loving in fashion right now—or something that’s giving you the ick?!

Next week: my thoughts on dupes, the wear-and-return culture on reality TV, and lab-grown diamonds...

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I love travel — but to be honest, when I was growing up, it felt like a nightmare. It was stressful, and my parents had a really strict itinerary for my sister and me, with all these “appropriate” outfits, and we weren’t in control of anything. Some things were fun, some things were terrible, and we fought a lot, too. My mother loves to reflect on all of our trips as wonderful — and it’s funny, because Terry is the COMPLETE opposite. We did all these trips, and he’ll say they were awful LOL. I’m a realist. I embrace the really good parts, and I let the sh*tty parts go.

One trip we do agree on, though, was our first-ever trip together, before we were even married… maybe dating for a few months? We went to Napa, and it was the most special, beautiful weekend. From that trip on, we were inseparable ❤️

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Every year after we wrap the show, Terry and I take a trip. You know, something just to decompress. After back-to-back graduations, we’re finally taking this trip, and this time, we’re adding two more to the party: our best friends Richard and Daisy.

I think it’s very important to have Travel Besties — friends who you can adventure with all the time. Last year, we did a yacht trip (I know, I know — this is super unrelatable and bougie, but bear with me LOL). Richard’s obsessed with yacht trips. His motto is literally, “It’s always better on the yacht,” and so I had to see for myself what the buzz was all about!!

I should also mention: I’m not a cruise person. Growing up, my parents took my sister and me on two cruises in our teens, and there was no one else our age, so we ended up drinking and hanging out with the crew (sorry Mom, that happened!). Cruises give me so much anxiety because you’re on someone else’s schedule — do you know what I mean?! And who do you think is waking up at the crack of dawn to reserve pool chairs? Yours truly. I see the appeal if you have young kids — it’s a floating hotel.

But anyways, the yacht trip — we wanted to bring another couple with us and make it a real party vacay… and so we decided to do what any sane person would do before embarking on a week of wines, dines, and beach hangs: hold an audition. That’s right, we auditioned our friends to see if they would fit the vibe — except they didn’t know it (until now, maybe?!).

And listen — you can be a great friend, but just not a great friend to travel with. If you’re thinking about getting a group together for a trip, especially couples, they have to check these boxes:

• No one gets easily offended

• No one cares if I micromanage the plans ;)

• They’re not codependent or needy (this REALLY ruins a trip)

• They’re not too cool for school

I love games. On the last trip, I brought this fun game that’s like Pictionary, but instead of words, you use sounds. It was HILARIOUS. The biggest thing I look for in friends I want to travel with is that you have to be game. Up for whatever. Down to clown!!

Hot Tip No. 1

You also have to be flexible. I don’t eat breakfast, and I don’t drink coffee. I get up in the morning and take my 100 pills and supplements (are you guys interested in this lineup? Let me know in the comments and I’ll send you the details!!). I take these creatine gummies and sip on coconut water. If it’s just me and Terry on a little getaway to Cabo, I go straight to the beach.

I love to create my own cocktail at the cabana — let’s call it the HD Paloma ;)

Anyways, I try to pre-plan everything to have the smoothest trip possible, starting with my outfit. I love a Louis Vuitton tracksuit that’s basically pants and a cropped jacket — something comfy and chic.

Hot take: I despise people who don’t get dressed for the airport. There, I said it!! My mom raised us to dress appropriately for travel (albeit many times she went overboard and had us wearing skirts on the plane), but still, I don’t want to see pajamas at the airport. I certainly don’t want to see anyone’s toes. Sneakers are fine, but cute ones.

If you have kids, bring extra clothes for them — they want to be fresh and clean when you land <3

Hot Tip No. 2

When I’m planning a trip with friends, I like to make a mini itinerary, if you will. I share it ahead of time to see if there’s anything special the group wants to do that I didn’t include OR that they want to swap (and maybe we would just split up for that meal or activity if that’s the case).

Hot Tip No. 3

If someone in the group gets rowdy when they drink too much, I’ll whisper to the waiter beforehand, “Water that sh*t down!” So if you’ve ever been to dinner with me and noticed your drinks were a little weak… I suppose you know how I feel now LOL.

Hot Tip No. 4

I’ll leave you with this… traveling with friends is a blast. It makes everything more fun, spicy, and better. BUT my warning is: just know when to pivot. Don’t stick to the plan too much if it (or the people) aren’t working out. If it ends up raining and you’re indoors playing card games or going for a rainy walk, so be it!!

A positive attitude fixes everything. Trust me ;)

What’s your take on traveling with friends? Any tips or warnings I missed?! Let me know below!

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If you tuned into the pod this week, you heard how Terry & I are handling empty nesting… spoiler alert: I LOVE IT. But until then, I’ll be tying graduation planning with a bow – how I’m organizing, what I’m shopping for and the must-haves in my bag on the big day. Enjoy !!

A few tips & tricks:

Get Organized

Mornings are crazy as it is, and Graduation Day is no different. Lay out your clothes and accessories the night before. Leave extra time for yourself, don’t stress!! Check in with your spouse and make sure your kids have everything they need, too – saves you a headache later LOL.

Here’s a peek at what I’m bringing with me:

Know Your Venue

Outdoor or indoor, terrain of the event, the weather, of course all make an impact on what you wear and what you bring. If the venue is grass, wedges or flats are ALWAYS better!

Attire 101

A sundress usually works best! I always carry a sweater with me (I run cold, anyone else?!) and prefer a hands-free situation with a cross body bag. However – if you will be at the party for a LONG time – you might want to opt for a tote.

I’ve been to so many graduations at this point – from 8th grade and high school to now, college – and it is the WORST if you are sitting in the hot sun without the right accessories! Or, if you have to walk really far in stilettos.

I pulled a few of my favorite looks for you, too – all in my ShopMy grad guide !!

P.S.!

Bring food! Drinks, snacks, popcorn – you name it. Personally, my kids are graduating in the middle of the quad, under a tent, without a concession stand in sight… so I’ll definitely be packing snacks, mints, sunscreen and a hat. You know I love my organic coconut water for extra hydration, too.

That’s a wrap! Hosting Nicky’s graduation dinner tonight, then off to Boston, and St. Barth’s… non-stop fun, family and craziness. Wouldn’t have it any other way ;)

Will keep you guys updated on social. See you next week! 💋

I’m going to give you guys the whole agenda, so pour yourself a cup of coffee (or if you’re reading this tonight, some bubbly!) and let’s get into it…

Graduation parties are one of my favorite celebrations to plan – and as you know, when you’re doing any kind of party, certain things inform said party. Personally? I like to start macro, and then get into the micro details – everything from the venue and theme, to the small, but meaningful, moments like decor and keepsakes. BTW, people always ask me where I get my inspo for these events… and if I’m being honest, I love getting creative when I see something interesting – whether that’s scrolling on TikTok or strolling on Fifth Avenue. Recently, I walked by Ferragamo in NYC and they had these beautiful scarves tied over fake balloons in the window – I LOVED the aesthetic. I snapped a pic on my phone. Note to self: I don’t know for what, but I just want to do this somewhere.

BEHIND THE SCENES…

Here’s the plan: I’m hosting a graduation dinner for Nicky in LA with family on Thursday. On Friday, with his roommates and their parents. Saturday is the actual graduation, and that afternoon, we’re flying to Boston for Max’s graduation on Sunday morning. I am throwing a fabulous graduation dinner for her with the family. Think: an ethereal, woodsy vibe focusing on romantic, loose florals. Adding more details like antique mismatched perfume bottles, since fragrance is a passion of hers!

Monday, Terry and I are going to St. Barths because I think after successfully launching two children, I need a break LOL!

Until then, I’ll be taking you along with me in planning the Dubrow’s graduation festivities. Cheers!

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THE VENUE

There’s no gatekeeping around here, so FYI I’m using a party planner – Sophia Parsa from Project Social – and she’s just phenomenal. Yes, of course I could do this all myself – I love it, and if I’m being honest, I’m very good at it lol! BUT… If you have the right vendors and partners, it makes planning a lot easier (especially when you have twins graduating a day apart!). They understand me and my crazy ideas and she can translate everything from my head into a reality. I told her my son’s spirit animal and his favorite colors and we went back and forth a bit and then ta da, it’s done.

Here a few of my favorite ways to do it – in LA, and Boston:

THE MENU

A menu is a prime example of a place to add a personal touch – for example, my daughter Kat is a filmmaker, so cinema became the theme. Instead of having just a regular menu card, we used old-fashioned script with gold lettering. When you opened it up, the guest list was included to look like the cast! I had everyone write letters to her in advance who would be present at the dinner, and we added nostalgic pictures – it became a true memento from the evening. Oh and of course, we made custom pencils because in the film industry, you always need a pencil when you’re reading through a script! Every pencil was engraved with the guest’s name, so they acted as the place cards. I love these custom scalloped menus from Papier, too.

THE CAKE

As you may or may not know, cakes are a BIG deal for me.

We’ve used all kinds of cake makers throughout the years, and I have to say, there’s so many good ones!! Here’s the trick: it’s really important to look at their books and see what they’re capable of. Because if you want something very specific, you’ve got to go to someone that does that particular thing VERY well.

And I will admit…AI has become such an incredible tool for design. You will save yourself a lot of time (and stress) if you can go through AI, –you know, to Chat, Claude, or even Google AI – to create a picture that’s in the ballpark of what you’re looking for. Vision first, execution later.

My HD-approved cake maker list:

• It’s All About the Cake – a tried & true by the Dubrow family.

• Hansens Cakes - some of the most delicious desserts I’ve ever had… been around for years!

• Erin McKenna’s Bakery – the very best for people who are gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan or have food allergies in general.

• Cory Pohlman Cakes – I’ve used Cory a bunch, love!

THE KEEPSAKE

Not your average party favor.

For the graduation dinners, it’s fun to have beautiful things on the table, and I love to create a keepsake of some sort that guests can take home to remember the night.

One year, I ordered custom “Christmas Crackers” with a fun fact about the twins inside each one – it became an instant conversation starter for the table. I added a little trinket, too – like bottle openers with a logo on it (I love to create a logo for each event/theme for the paper materials and gift bags, etc.)

The key here is the intention behind the keepsake more than anything else. Doesn’t have to be fancy… fun, and memorable wins!

At the end of the day, these milestone moments for our kids are not only about their growth… it’s about ours, too. It’s the next chapter of our lives as parents.

Just know that when you are out there doing the best you can, it’s inspiring them to do the same :)

Part 2 of this Graduation Party series, next week…

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As I put together these mini-shopping guides for allll the different types of moms in your life – from the travel aficionado to the Reality TV obsessed (wink wink) – I reflected on some of the best gifts I’ve received from my own kids, which is always the sentimental, something special, cherry on top type. Whether that’s memorabilia from a family trip, or a handwritten card – it really is true that it’s the thought (and the love behind it!) that counts the most.

Still, there’s always room for caviar and a spa day… right?!

Ahead, check out some of my favorite products, potions and pastimes to give and receive 😉

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As a mom who loves to travel, these are the types of gifts that are both chic AND functional. For an extra special touch, monogram the cashmere cardigan with your mom’s initials!

Let’s be real – most of the time, all we want as moms is more quality time with our kids!! Especially as they get older and busier. A fun styling sesh or Italian cooking class is a great way to learn something new, get out of your comfort zone and bond as a family, or with friends :)

So… yeah… this is me lol! There’s nothing like being spoiled, or taking initiative and spoiling yourself. I love when my home smells luxurious with an oversize candle, or I can get cozy in lush PJs and hang out!

What better way to spend Mother’s Day then to unwind with a Bravo watch party?! Everything from chic wine glasses to a whole “watch party kit” with her favorite snacks will set the tone for a fun evening. Bravotv.com has an amazing shop with Real Housewives themed gifts, and cameos are cool too!

Nothing better than a blowout. Period.

I gave the kids stationery last year for Christmas (which was met with a lot of groans) BUT, now they love it and use it all the time! Signature stationery is so elegant and makes you want to write “thank you” notes – which is truly the best gift of all.

Another great gift that you wouldn’t always think to get for yourself is custom jewelry design – my faves are Martin Katz (so many pieces including my updated engagement ring) XIVKarats (they’ve done SO many pieces for me !) and Jennifer Karimi (who is making me a ring right now – love her! Got this rec through Gina Kirschenheiter).

That’s a wrap… until next week! In the meantime, follow along on social for exciting updates online, and IRL.

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6:45 a.m. – morning skincare lineup

My morning skincare is mostly the same every day. I always use this cleanser followed with this serum, but then I change up the other products depending on what my face needs. If it’s a little dry, I use something more moisturizing like hydrating SPF. I love using The Skinny Confidential mint roller in the morning. And I also love a face tub to dunk your face in ice for two minutes. I notice such a difference when I do that!

7:30 a.m. – coconut water and Propel

Before heading out the door, I grab my coconut water. And I actually do not like coconut, but I do love coconut water, and it’s so hydrating. Also, I’m weirdly addicted to Propel again haha so I drink a Propel, too. ESPECIALLY if I’m going to hot mat Pilates, this is a very important step.

7:33 a.m. – leaving doughnuts by the front door for Ace’s volleyball game later. Can’t forget these!!

9:00 a.m. – school drop-off and Pilates, always

So what you don’t see, is that I drove to school and dropped off my kid. I believe dropping off your kids at school and picking them up is really important, just to be there for them. Sometimes they don’t talk to you. And let’s be real – sometimes they’re not great in the morning, but when they do talk, it’s very important that you listen. So that is very important quality time. Your kids tell you very interesting things in the car.

On weekdays, I always go to Forma Pilates. I love Forma. I probably do hot mat Pilates 3x a week and reformer 4x a week. Forma is so LA. It’s referral only. It’s like 27 year old supermodels… and me haha.

10 a.m. – sumo snack time !! only when they’re in season, though

11 a.m. – hair color refresh with Flo <3

Fun fact: I am allergic to all hair dye, which is crazy. I’m allergic to a lot of oddball things, and there’s only one hair color that I’m not allergic to. It’s sort of a henna product, and it makes your hair look green for two days and washes out quite quickly. So, here I am in the chair again with my bestie, Flo!!

1:11 p.m. – back home with a list of things to do, including pack. LOVING Prada’s spring collection.

I still have to lay out my clothes for this trip I'm taking. It’s a bit of a secret international trip and I got all this stuff from consignment that I need to go through, because whatever I don't want I need to send back.

1:30 p.m. – at-home nails? yes, please!

Britt comes to my house – she’s the best. I hate maintenance and sitting to get my nails done. So I get Gel-X and hard gel so that I can go as long as possible without getting them done again. I’m really into the glazed donut nails, like this baby pink shade with chrome :)

3 p.m. – quick fitting for a special outfit for my trip…

3:30pm — off to get Ace to go to volleyball. i remembered the doughnuts #winning

4:35 p.m. – volleyball mom life !!

7 p.m. – showered, hair glazed, nails polished and zhuzh’d…off to date night with Dr. Dubrow! xx

Hope you enjoyed spending the day with me :) Next week, it’s allll about one of my favorite celebrations… Mother’s Day. What to get, what to give, and what to avoid before you start shopping. Make sure you’re subscribed to get it straight to your inbox!

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People are always asking me,“How do you pack for a weekend trip?” or “What’s your go-to beauty product when you’re in a rush?” – or even more niche, “What’s the worst hostess gift you’ve ever gotten?” and girls, trust me when I tell you I keep these things in mind 24/7 – and now I’m ready to share every detail with you. Honestly, I want to shout out my dear friend and Substack connoisseur Carole Radziwill for inspiring me to press play on this newsletter. We were in the Berkshires, chatting about life and her letter and how awesome the community is here on Substack, and I’m so excited to be a part of it with you all !!

So, let’s get into it. You’re probably wondering what to expect when you subscribe:

In true HD true fashion, a little bit of everything. But no fluff !! From hosting and party planning, to interior design and defining one’s taste from my POV at Chateau Dubrow. Plus, our LA apartment renovation…but that’s a whole newsletter in itself.

Think: the endless beauty, wellness and health hacks you’ve come to love from Dr. and Mrs. Guinea Pig ;) The behind-the-scenes, and behind-the-screens on marriage, parenting, and navigating friendships old and new.

This community is about learning, laughing and loving who we are, with excitement to bring something chic to the table each season – in life, and on air. TBH, I usually vent to Terry about these things but let’s be real… he’s not always as invested as the group chat lol! As a subscriber, you can become a member of Sip & Tell, an exclusive chat where the champs is always chilled and the tea is piping hot.

Newsletters release every Tuesday, with a special monthly letter on Sunday. If you have any Qs or topics you’d love me to go deeper into, send me a message – I’ll be looking at it ALL. The conversation is just getting started ;)

See you next week, where I’ll be sharing my go-to Gift Guide :)

Next up in Fancy That:

The Mother’s Day Edit: Let’s get this right.

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