It’s not even funny because I think there might be a little bit of truth in that.🥹

More than twice this month, people have looked me in the face and said, “You have so many close friends, yet you show up intentionally for all of them.” I’m always quick to dismiss the thought that follows — that maybe I’m a very good friend. The truth is, what I enjoy with people now is simply God’s effort to shape me. My circle has never really been about me. It’s God using humans as an extension of His divine love, and in doing that, showing me how to be an extension of His love to others.

Growing up, my worst nightmare was men. I didn’t start out well with people. It was one bad experience after another. So I decided I didn’t want to be involved with humans at all. Even when I tried, I messed it up. I had so many jaundiced views about how relationships should go that I ended up being selfish. I’ve also had my fair share of betrayals — both as the victim and as the villain. I was hurt by people, and I hurt them too.

One of my biggest regrets is seeking love in the wrong places. And when God pointed it out, I walked out of those rooms with dragged feet, hoping I wouldn’t miss the company even though it didn’t honour Him. So yes, there was a lot of work God did (and is still doing) to change that narrative.

My healing didn’t follow the conventional path I’ve seen others take. God took me through men. Both the good ones and the bad ones. Like me. He let me see my own vileness and how His grace alone justified me. And the only demand was that I offer that same grace in return.

So I’m not here to make you wish to be a friend like Hannah. Because I didn’t just wake up here. I took strides through heartbreak, tears, regrets, and forgiveness to break the walls around my heart. There are still friendships I mourn, though I don’t crave to restore them. There are restitutions I wish to make, because some people met a version of Hannah they didn’t deserve. I was once the bad friend too. God, have mercy.

Yet today, when I look at all my friendship dynamics — because what I share with each person is distinct — I see how merciful God is. Some of these people were once on my wishlist. Some were prayer points that had me begging God for the grace to preserve them.

And now look, I’m walking in answered prayers.

I will always thank God for bringing me out of those ungodly relationships. He has replaced what I let go of with more than I asked for. And it’s more beautiful because I see how He sanctifies me through the people He’s brought across my path. I even secretly wonder if He uses me to sanctify them too. Because even now, I still struggle with relationships. And I really want to do better.

Like Oluwatobiloba, I wish I wouldn’t zone out on people who care for me when life gets overwhelming.

Like Precious, I want to remain an intentional friend even when the other person isn’t at their best.

Like Oluwabukunmi, I want my presence to bring joy and warmth without even trying.

Like Oluwademiladeogo, I want to make excuses for my friends’ inconsistencies and forgive before confronting them.

Like ÒdodoOlúwa, I want to be the friend who doesn’t make access to them feel like they are doing you a favour.

Like Abiola, I want to be emotionally present when someone needs a shoulder to lean on.

Like Sewanu, I want to be the friend who connects others to opportunities without asking for anything in return.

Like Olamide, I want to be the name that comes to mind when someone needs reassurance that they’re not doing life alone.

Like Christiana, I want to be the friend who isn’t threatened by your win.

Like Eniola, I want to be the friend who doesn’t need physical presence to keep the flame of love burning.

Like Oluwasemilogo, I want to be the friend whose smile can heal a broken heart.

Like Oluwatunmise, I want to be the friend who always asks for feedback on how to be better.

Like Teehah, I want to be the friend who is loud with compliments and honest with criticism.

Like Timii, I want to be the friend who gives without waiting to be asked.

Like Favour, I want to be the friend who understands even the unsaid words.

Like the ones I can’t mention, I want to be the friend whose presence makes life easier for others in some way.

But above all, like Jesus — I want to be the friend whose love cannot be doubted — because it’s already been proven.

My relationships are not casual orchestrations. They are a part of my sanctification: the tools He’s using to shape me to become like Him.

No wonder each one is a little bit like God.💜

I’ve always preferred disposing broken things rather than fixing them. It’s so bad that I can't cross out an error on a page, and continue on the next line, I would rather start on a new page.

This trait somehow found its way into my leadership journey. Anytime I met myself in a bad spot, I would struggle to stay through till it's sorted. It's at that point I would start wishing I never took on the role. What about stepping down? On some days, I begged God to let me drop this one and take on a new responsibility.

Before you blame me, don't we always want what's convenient? Even though we know that's not how it should be, we still prefer to let the guilt eat us up than to face the storms. But now, I am inspired by Apostle Paul’s report: I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith. Often times when we face hurdles in our journey, we are always left with two options but we only get to pick one — Fight or Flight?

While we may prefer to pick flight over fighting, in matters of destiny, we must stand firm until we attain fulfilment. And when it comes to fulfilment, it's patient, it waits till the job is done. So don't always seek a startover, sometimes, what you need is to break through.

I'm becoming a fighter. The one who won't quit just because the fight has become tough. The one who won't end the series just because she missed some days. The one who won't abandon the tasks just because she failed the last attempt. I have learnt to finish the job.

Think about it, after God created the earth and found darkness hovering, He didn't press restart on creation, and He didn't leave it to creating something else.  Instead, he called forth light. He didn't leave because the earth was null and void, he made the darkness leave. And that's to tell you what to do when next you hit the note on "difficulty" in your journey. Don't break off, seek to break through. 

Everytime I read Colossians 4:17 "And say to Archippus, take heed that you fulfil the ministry which you have received in the Lord", I always wonder what signs Archippus was showing that made Apostle Paul send him that reminder. Right now, I put this verse to you, dear friend. Take heed that you FULFIL the MINISTRY which you have received IN THE LORD.

Quitters don't hear "well done". And restarts don't always guarantee success. We must learn to stand firm through it all, trusting that He who started with us is able to complete it.

Let us pray:

Dear God,

I acknowledge that I came this far only by your grace.Please help me to complete this journey. I refuse to quit halfway. I refuse to turn back before the finish line. Please strengthen me to fulfil the assignment you've given me. And help me to give you the glory at the end of it all.

Amen.

Love,

Your own 💜

You see, some of us are like the little child. We want more. I mean, everyone else around us seems to be doing so well handling huge tasks and hitting milestones, so, God when??? But like the mother, God wonders why the little you have at hand hasn't been fully harnessed yet.

We are very quick to desire more, but we don't always realise that when we pray for increase, we remind God to check if the current volume has been exhausted.

The next rung on the ladder of destiny is built on the premise of your faithfulness with the current. So when you trivialise some tasks at hands because you feel they are just there by circumstances and God doesn't really care how you handle them, you only limit yourself to just little. It's when you prove yourself faithful with the sheep in the wilderness that God can trust you with nations. Ask David.

When you quote Matt.25.29: To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who are unfaithful, even what little they have will be taken away. (NLT) I hope you always take a pause to ask yourself what the "little" is. Because great rewards are often not meant for great efforts. Sometimes, it's the one who humbly stays committed to the “not so huge” thing that gets picked for the big stage. So when we compare ourselves to the people doing the massive things, we just want to ask ourselves if we've paid the price. And in the language of purpose, all there is to pay for the nations is steadfastness in the wilderness.

God wants to use you big, but if like that little child, your current capacity remains untapped, then you are the one keeping you here. If you want to step up, then pick up those little tasks and do them well — because the way God says “well done” for the little things is by giving you more.

Let us pray:

Dear God,

I know you are interested in launching me forward, please help me handle my current position with wisdom. Help me to faithfully maximise what is present, so I can receive what is to come. Open my eyes to see all the little things that I've not been faithful with, so I can amend my ways and make you proud.

Amen.

Love,

Your own 💜

I know what it feels like to be trusted with something, but you're the first person who doubts if you can do it well. And sometimes, service does that to you. God gives you an assignment that involves managing people, your team lead assigns you a people-oriented role, you receive the vision for expansion and you wonder how this "small and introverted" you will take on such big assignment.

You can't give what you don't have" isn't just cliche. It is what it is. So I understand how that we cower in situations like that, because when it's time to practice "such as I have, I give unto thee", Would I have enough to pour out?

And as someone who bears the gospel in mind, I'm always reminded that in whatever I do, I am firstly a minister of God's love; every other thing is merely secondary. So the demand of true service is that I must pour out love, whether I feel like it or not. And talking about that love, it has nothing to do with who deserves it or not; the God kind of love is unconditional. It’s actually sweet to read about this love in the papers, but in real life, it's not always “thank you” and “God bless you” with humans. People will hurt you. Some will break your trust. They will tell you to your face that they don't rate you. And really it's painful. But you are still expected to do what?? LOVE them!

You don't have to shy away from the fact that at times, it’s a struggle to love difficult people. It's at this point you begin to wonder if you really have enough love to pour out??? Sometimes, you just want to compromise, return their energy and say “God understands”. But should you? Let's bring something to mind. Prov 11:25 tells us that "He who waters will himself be watered". I know we love to approach this verse like the refilling was only about physical resources. But no, there's always an outpouring for every man who pours out in every form. So when you hit that spot where you feel like you're running out of resources(especially when it's love) to do God's bidding, you can seek the outpouring.

Little wonder why after salvation, God let the Holy Spirit shed his love abroad in our hearts, because we sure need our love tanks to be filled if we would ever minister His love. It becomes easy to love God and His people when we've opened ourselves up to the outpouring of God's love. Jesus walked on earth and dealt with all kinds of humans; the sad, the bitter, the unyielding, the ungrateful, and the deceptive. Yet, he didn’t give up on them. So you, too, should not call it quit on humans. God’s love is real, and it must be expressed through us. And in order to do that, we must make it a priority to experience it first. Only then will you find out, God's love is the best thing that should happen to man. And on days when we feel drained, it's okay to ask Him for more of His love.

Let us pray:

Dear God,

Minister your love to me. Fill me with so much that I would never struggle to pour out. Let my heart be filled with a deeper experience of your love. Amen.

Love,

Your own💜

It's the first day of The Shepherd's Meal series, and as much as I've hesitated to do this, I now realise that I need this series more than you do. So here goes.

It's been a tough season for me, I've been finding it hard to show up, to keep up and to keep working especially when it's looking like nothing is working. I've not even tried to talk about it with anyone yet, I just sigh a lot like those deep sighs say it all.

I've been finding myself saying "I'm tired", "I quit", "I give up", "I can't do these anymore" "this service thing isn't working for me", maybe those lines are familiar to you too.

All these, but we really mean it when we say "God, I love you" Don't we?

And so God puts a weight check on the depth of your love, and to measure the heaviness, he chooses to use others — how much you do for those ones out there. The people you are called to serve. The ones you were raised to build. The souls waiting on you.

"IF YOU LOVE ME, FEED MY SHEEP", He says. (John 21:17)

Maybe it doesn't really hit close to home when I confess my love because what he checks is the state of his sheep, the ones he has committed in my hands.

"Servant, do you truly love me?"

"Why then do these ones starve?"

"Why are they starved of the truth?"

"Why are they starved of your time?"

"Why are they starved of your contribution to their growth?"

"If you love me, then show it by serving them"

"Feed my sheep, serve them the meal that nourishes"

"If you love me, tend to my own like you would want me to tend to you."

And then it dawned on me: Service, truly, is God's love language.

Don't you agree?

Well, the confession has changed now.

It's not just "God, I love you", anymore. It's a silent heart cry that follows every deep sigh. If you are like me at the verge of quitting, you may want to take this confession with me:

Dear God,

Help me to love you so I can love your sheep.

Help me to love you that much to not starve my generation.

Help me to love you enough to tend to the one even if the ninety-nine never acknowledge it.

Help me to love you dearly to not let my generation wait in vain.

Please let me love you that much.

Amen.

Love,

Your own💜

Hannah, I thought you were a personal growth enthusiast, so what's this?

Can you let us explore this together?

I understand one of the phrases we throw around a lot is "grow up". And the moment you hear it, you feel like you are a child missing out on a whole lot.

What if it's actually okay to not want to grow up?

Because growing up in this world means freedom, independence and little reliance on people.

But what if your father doesn't want that?

What if to Him, the proof that you are growing is that you let go of SELF and you let Him.

Well, if you're not a Christian, this might be too much for you.

When I was younger, I wanted to skip to the part where I get to do everything on my own without anyone making choices for me. As I became older, I realised growth(for kingdom-minded people)isn't freedom from anyone, it's actually freedom from your SELF and total inclination unto God. 

Because in this kingdom, we don't grow up by becoming independent.

The vulnerability with God to let Him take over the wheel of our lives, is what translates us from babyhood to sonship.

“Those that are led by the spirit of God are called SONS of God.” Romans 8:14

Do you see that????? Not the ones led by their self judgement or instincts. But the ones that let the spirit of God lead them!

And so when you want to make decisions and you're like "God, should I?" The devil is quick to always remind us to grow up at this point. He will tell you, "it's not everything that is God, God, God, that's why you have your common sense." Lol. So you too, want to act like someone with common sense?

Wait, have you forgotten that the devil isn't actually interested in your growth? So why would he suddenly be recommending that to you? You know why, he just wants to push you off the grid!

It might seem foolish to always "not know anything" so that God can tell you what to do. But it's okay, really! Because in this kingdom, the only to know is to not know at all; the only way up is down! 

So it comes off as childish when they ask, "what do you want to do now?" and your response is " I'm waiting for my father to speak" Can you just embrace that kind of childishness? I guess that's the way to heaven afterall, yes Childlikeness is! 😌

And don't you dare forget that what's childish to you is sonship before God!

So if the standards of this world sees total dependent on one's father as childish, I'll prefer the purple feeding bottle please. 🥺😌

I'm just saying... please humbly remain a babe if that's how your sonship is guaranteed.

So yes!

it's God in every process.

God in every step.

His will or nothing.

His voice or no one else's.

His validation is all that's needed.

His standards remain my style.

Are you still arguing about which part of your life God gets to pioneer?

Dear, it's time to let go of that grown-up style because it's the new babyish!

The real SONS let go and let God!

And so today, I hope you are reminded that the voice telling you to grow up isn't always right.🥺

It might just be the devil luring you from doing your Father's will.

May God help us. Amen.

I know we are all spiritual people and we don't do Oracle things, but I think we're beginning to godify AI too.

I mean, “AI always knows* right?

An average young person asks AI for directions on every subject matter including life and destiny! Who did this to us?

You're a Christian o, a full fledged one with the Holy Spirit at work in you, but when you're stuck on what to do, it's AI you're reaching out too. Omoooo.😪

What happened to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge the Lord in your ways and He will diirect your path" ?

I'm not even against you making research and gathering ideas from different sources but who made it normal to seek AI for convictions? Get recommendations there but let the Holy Spirit give you confirmations.

Sometimes, I wish Apostle Paul were here, maybe we would have a verse that says "To the Christians of this age, Let AI not take the place of the Holy Spirit, your life shouldn't be sponsored by Artificial Intelligence when you carry Spiritual Intelligence on your inside" 

Don't you get it?

AI doesn't have discernment:

Only the Holy Spirit knows you; your past, your present and your future. So He knows what is right for you per season. Don't place your destiny at the mercy of AI, it will give you solid ideas, yeah? But it's good doesn't always mean it's right for your destiny!

AI doesn't have experience:

You may not want to agree with this, but what's stopping you from reaching out to that senior in your field is not because you're shy, it's arrogance wrapped up in “fear of rejection”.

There is this pride we exhibit that makes us prefer to ask AI for insights we could get from people that have gone ahead of us — because we don't like accountability and we know AI won't ask that from us. But isn't it bad? That there's no counsel guiding you? No Instructions, No Mentor, no Senior, Just AI?

Why only AI?

Where's the spirit of revelation that shows you the next turn?

Where's the depth of experience to tell you when the path you're eyeing is a no-go zone?

Where's the ladder of wisdom built by experience that you can climb to the mountain of success?

“Those that are led by the Spirit of God are called what?” Sons of God!

Please don't be a son that asks the father to sponsor him when he didn't ask for the father's consent in the first place. Don't set yourself up for destruction. Please don't.

AI is a general cake, you can't count on it for your daily bread.

So when next you need to make a decision:

Seek God, Seek Godly counsel, Seek Convictions.

You won't fail.

Amen.

~Han 💜

You are my Northern Star,

The one within.

You are a proof of my woes,

The ones that I won.

You're a reminder of my strength,

In the face of traumas.

You tell tales of the battles,

That I fought alone.

Men see you and call me names;

Victor, Conqueror, Warrior.

You are what I brought home,

From the battlefield of growth.

Yet, you're the trophy everyone else hides.

We are all fighters,

But not all can boast of you.

And when desire your signet,

This I say:

“You carry it too

But in it's dead form.

Your SCAR isn't alive,

Until you permit HEALING.”

Wounded soldier,

HEAL!

And leave the tales,

For your SCARS to tell.

You are my Northern Star,

The one within.

You are a proof of my woes,

The ones that I won.

You're a reminder of my strength,

In the face of traumas.

You tell tales of the battles,

That I fought alone.

Men see you and call me names;

Victor, Conqueror, Warrior.

You are what I brought home,

From the battlefield of growth.

Yet, you're the trophy everyone else hides.

We are all fighters,

But not all can boast of you.

And when desire your signet,

This I say:

“You carry it too

But in it's dead form.

Your SCAR isn't alive,

Until you permit HEALING.”

Wounded soldier,

HEAL!

And leave the tales,

For your SCARS to tell.

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