One morning during summer break, I randomly started thinking about this boxed pasta my mom used to make all the time when I was a kid.

It was Zatarain’s Jambalaya Pasta, and I was obsessed with it. My mom even says in the video that I never wanted vegetables or a side dish. I literally just wanted a giant bowl of the pasta. Looking back, that’s probably where my carb addiction started. I looked it up and found out they discontinued it back in 2019. That immediately turned into, “Wanna make it from scratch?” So I called my mom, and a couple days later, she showed up in her apron (seriously she already had it on when she got out the car, adorable) ready to cook!

The ingredient list actually tells you a lot (I read it online). My goal was to figure out what each ingredient was doing and find it, or something close, in my own kitchen. Lots of the ingredients were simple: paprika, celery seed, garlic, onion, peppers...those were easy. Then there were a few that threw me, like soy sauce, yeast extract, and modified corn starch. Soy sauce made sense, and the modified corn starch was there to help create the sauce, so I used regular cornstarch. The yeast extract was the one that had me like, what? I don't keep yeast extract around, but I do keep nutritional yeast. My mother immediately looked at me like, "We didn't use that." lol. Nutritional yeast isn't exactly the same thing as yeast extract, but it has a savory, almost Parm like flavor because it's naturally rich in glutamates (think tomatoes, Parm, anchovie, umami). Between that, the MSG, and the soy sauce, I figured I'd be pretty close to what the box was doing and if you’ve ever made a boxed pasta dinner, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

The recipe is pretty straightforward, just brown the sausage (get the color!), add the veggies and spices, the stock, then the pasta. Whole thing is done in less than 30 minutes, including prep time. Also, dont be intimidated by the ingredient list, you probably have all the spices in your pantry already. Whenever I add dry spices, I like giving them 30 seconds to cook bc they wake up a little. Once the chicken stock goes in, the cornstarch, pasta starch, and sausage all work together to make that creamy sauce that sticks to the rotini. Then the pasta goes right into the pan, which makes this a great one pot dish. Cooking the noodles in the stock lets them absorb all that flavor instead of boiling in plain water. Cover and simmer till the pasta is done, then you gotta let it sit for a few minutes for that sauce to thicken up.

Yall it is JUST like the boxed stuff that I hadn’t had in years. I imagine I couldve added shrimp or chicken to make it jambalaya for real, but I gotta put me first! (TikTok voice) We did a great job and she is coming back over next week to make some bread. Yall stay tuned! :-) Recipe for the pasta below!!

Copycat Zatarain’s Jambalaya Pasta

serves 2-3

• 12 oz Andouille sausage, sliced

• 8 oz rotini

• 1 T neutral oil

• 1⁄2 c finely diced yellow onion

• 1⁄4 c finely diced green bell pepper

• 1⁄4 c finely diced red bell pepper

• 1⁄2 jalapeno (adjust this, we like spice)

• 2 tsp paprika

• 1 tsp garlic powder

• 1 tsp onion powder

• 1⁄2 tsp celery seed

• 1 tsp cayenne pepper (adjust this, we like spice)

• 1⁄2 tsp crushed red pepper

• 1⁄2 tsp freshly ground black pepper

• 1 tsp kosher salt (adjust to taste)

• 1 tsp sugar

• 2 tsp nutritional yeast

• 1 tsp soy sauce

• 1⁄2 tsp MSG

• 1 T cornstarch

• 1 T chopped fresh parsley (or 1 tsp dried parsley)

• 2 c chicken stock

Procedure

1. Brown the sausage over medium-high heat until you get some color.

2. Add the onion, green pepper, and red pepper. Cook 4–5 minutes until softened.

3. Sprinkle in the cornstarch and stir for about 30 seconds to coat everything.

4. Add all the seasonings, nutritional yeast, MSG, and soy sauce. Stir for about 30 seconds.

5. Pour in the chicken stock and scrape up any browned bits from the bottom

   of the pan.

6. Add the pasta, bring to a boil, then reduce to a gentle simmer, cover, and cook 10–12 minutes, until the pasta is done.

7. Remove from the heat and let stand 5 minutes. The sauce should thicken and coat the pasta.

Soooo yeah this dish looks fancy because of the scallops and caviar, but the sauce is really doing all the work. Scallops cook in just a few minutes, and then the sauce takes maybe another five. Once you understand what each step is doing, this becomes one of those recipes you can repeat, while zhuzing it up any way you want.

First things first, you gotta take off the little side muscle. It’s a small, tough piece that you can peel right off. Sometimes it’s already been removed or washed away, and if you leave it on, it’s edible, just a tougher bite. After that, I pat the scallops as dry as I can because moisture makes it harder to get that deep golden crust. I’ve seen folks use a hair dryer, leave em uncovered in the fridge, or just a paper towel (my preferred method). Season em up and let’s get to it!

I heat a stainless steel pan with oil and place the scallops in one by one. I like to imagine the pan is a clock and I sit a scallop at each/every other number, maybe a little less depending on the size of the pan...this helps to know the order in which to flip them without having to think about it. No moving them around, about 2 minutes. Once they’ve developed good color, I flip them, let the second side finish briefly, and pull them from the pan. The scallops are done, but the pan definitely isn’t.

Those brown bits left behind are called fond, and they’re one of the biggest reasons I cook proteins in stainless steel. Fond is just concentrated flavor that develops as the proteins and natural sugars brown. Instead of washing the pan, I pour in chicken bone broth and scrape everything up, and all that flavor becomes the foundation of the sauce.

Once the fond is dissolved, I add finely diced white onion, white wine, salt, and white pepper. The onion is cut small so it melts into the sauce, and the wine adds acidity. Then I let everything reduce for a couple minutes until the flavors concentrate and the sauce has a little more body. I think its worth mentioning that classically, shallots are used instead of onions, but I didnt have any and it’s for me so insert shrug emoji.

At that point, I strain the sauce. The onions have already done their job, and straining leaves me with a smooth sauce. You technically dont have to strain it. It’s a small step, but I think it makes the finished dish feel a little more polished. Now the pan comes off the heat and we are almost to the finish line!

Cold butter gets whisked in a little at a time until the sauce turns glossy. Butter adds richness, but it also emulsifies everything into one smooth, glossy sauce. After the butter, I stir in fresh chives, a squeeze of lemon juice, and finally the caviar. I know caviar has a reputation for being fancy, but that’s not why it ended up here. It was on sale lol. I mostly think of it like another seasoning. Those little pearls add bursts of salinity that play really well with the sweet scallops and buttery sauce.

The scallops never go back into the pan, I just spoon the sauce on top, which keeps them from overcooking while letting the sauce stay exactly where I want it. The bite is unreal. My reaction was genuine yall. I even cut out so much of me just saying omg bc I felt like it was overkill, but it’s seriously so delish.

Could you make this without the caviar? Absolutely. I think the scallops and caviar are incredible together, dont get me wrong, but the best part about this recipe is learning how to make a pan sauce. This technique works with whatever protein you have on hand. I bet this dish wouldve been even better if I had shrimp stock. That’s the awesome thing about sauces, one little change can make a whole new dish, but the technique always stays the same. Once you understand fond, reducing, and mounting with butter, you’ve got a technique you can use with chicken, fish, pork, steak, or anything that leaves flavor in the pan! That’s the kind of thing that makes you a better cook long after this plate is gone and I know you’ll use it way more than a tin of caviar.

(but get it if its on sale haha) Recipe below!

Caviar and Scallops (serves 2)

Ingredients

• 6-8 scallops (depending on how much you want ppl to have)

• seasoning (I used salt and pepper)

• 1/2 cup chicken stock

• 1/4 cup white wine

• 1 T shallots/white onion, finely diced

• 1/2 stick unsalted butter, cold and cut up into small pieces

• Fresh lemon juice to taste

• Chopped fresh herbs (I used chives)

• Caviar (optional)

Procedure

1. Sear scallops and remove, do not clean pan.

2. Deglaze the pan with chicken broth/stock, then add white wine, and onion/shallots.

3. Reduce the liquid by half. Strain if you feeling froggy, but you dont have to.

4. Pour liquid back into pan, and start adding the cold butter cubes to the saucepan one at a time, whisking constantly. Wait until each piece is almost melted before adding the next.

5. Continue whisking until the sauce becomes smooth and slightly thickened. Be patient; this process takes a couple minutes.

6. Season with salt, white pepper, and a squeeze of fresh lemon juice to taste.

7. Add caviar and fresh herbs if you like.

I cheated. Don't get me wrong, I love a traditional seafood boil. I just didn't feel like filling a giant pot with water, waiting forever for it to a boil, carrying it across the kitchen, draining it, and then cleaning up the mess afterward. Not to mention the whole crib smells like seafood boil and spice.

So, everything went on a sheet pan instead. That might sound backwards because
I think we all just accepted that crab legs require a giant pot of water, and I don’t really know why. If you stop and think about it, the crab is already cooked, corn doesnt take long, sausage is already smoked, and you really just reheating all of that while cooking the potatoes.

My freezer gives me anxiety bc its so much in it, so while cleaning it out I found a bag of snow crab legs (they were in the back, this is a true story), a lil baby smoked sausage, and a couple mini corn cobs. I had a potato sitting on the counter, and dinner basically planned itself.

The potatoes are the only thing that actually need some effort, so I cut them into chunks, parboiled em for a few minutes, then made some butter, tossed everything BUT the crab legs innit, then threw everything onto the pan. Since everything else was frozen, about 45 minutes at 400°F ended up being just right.

I melted butter with minced garlic, Zatarain’s crab boil seasoning, Tony’s, and those little dried shrimp that Fiesta used to sell at the checkout haha. If you’ve never used those, they’re delicious with tons of seafood flavor, but if you dont have them, it’s not gonna break the dish.

Normally I’d squeeze in something citrusy, but my wife is allergic to citrus, so I reached for a splash of white wine instead. Same idea. It brightens everything up, and once the pan gets covered with foil, it creates steam that gently reheats the crab without drying it out, which is another reason I like this method!

A few things happen simultaneously. The crab sits on top while everything else cooks underneath, the potatoes roast, the sausage renders, the wine creates steam, and the crab just hangs out and warms up. And ttttttthen I brought back my shrimp butter. I already had some in the freezer, so I melted it with garlic, parsley, and a little more Tony’s to make a dipping butter. If you’ve been reading these posts for a while, you know I’m probably looking for an excuse to use shrimp butter.

I’m not dumping a bunch of seasoning into a pot of water that’s going straight down the drain. All that butter, sausage fat, garlic, and seasoning stay right there on the sheet pan where the potatoes can soak it up.

In conclusion (shoutout to elementary school with that ending), my stovetop stays clean, I don’t have to fight with a stock pot full of boiling water, and to me everything tace better. So yep! That’s probably how I’m making crab legs from now on.

Recipe beeeeeeeelow!!

OVEN-BAKED CRAB BOIL (for 2)

Ingredients

• 1 large russet potato, cut into 1-inch chunks

• 5 oz smoked sausage, sliced

• 4 mini corn cobs

• Snow crab legs

• 1 stick of butter, divided

• Cajun seasoning

• dried shrimp

• dried herbs

• Zatarans Shrimp and Crab Boil (the liquid one)

• a bunch of minced garlic

• chopped parsley

• ¼ c dry white wine

Method

1. Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Add the potatoes and cook for 8–10 minutes, until almost tender. Drain and set aside.

2. Melt the butter, then stir in the Cajun seasoning, dried shrimp (if using), herbs, and garlic.

3. Divide the butter in half. Stir the Zatarain’s Shrimp & Crab Boil into one half. Reserve the other half for the dipping butter.

4. In a large bowl, toss the potatoes, sausage, and corn with the Zatarain’s butter.

5. Transfer everything to a sheet pan and arrange the crab legs on top. Pour the white wine into the pan (or drizzle it over everything if you’re chaotic like me).

6. Cover tightly with foil and bake at 400°F for about 45 minutes, or until the potatoes are tender and the crab is heated through. If your stuff is thawed, it wont take nearly as long.

7. Reheat that butter if it solidified a bit, and eat up!

Note: This recipe was developed using frozen everything. If your stuff is thawed, start checking for doneness after about 25ish minutes. The potatoes should be tender and the crab heated through.

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I’m trying my hardest not to film pasta all the time, but I love it so much. It’s one of those things where if you have four ingredients, you have a meal. You don’t even have to have actual pasta, you can legit just make some. If I had to choose between giving up pasta or ice cream, I’d probably give up ice cream, and that’s saying a lot.

Anyway, I was packing for NYC and decided that in addition to waiting until the last minute to pack, I also needed to figure out dinner. I had some zucchini and tomatoes hanging around that would absolutely be bad by the time I got home, so pasta it was. See? Pasta just works.

I remembered Stanley Tucci making a zucchini pasta on Searching for Italy. Turns out the dish is Spaghetti alla Nerano, a pasta from the village of Nerano on Italy’s Amalfi Coast. Like a lot of famous regional dishes, it’s built from a handful of ingredients and a technique that turns them into something much bigger than they have any business being.

The first thing that surprised me was the amount of olive oil, bc issa lot. You need enough to create a layer across the bottom of the pan. The zucchini get sliced suuuper thin and basically shallow fried. Now, I’ve made this before and wasn’t impressed, but after making it this time, I am 100% convinced it was because I was scared to really get some color on the zucchini. Without that fry, this dish does not hit. Once the zucchini are golden, pull them out and sprinkle with salt. Another step you gotta do. Don’t skip it. Bland bland bland otherwise.

Meanwhile, get your spaghetti going. Salted water, bring it to a boil, cook the noodles a couple minutes less than the package says. Sometimes I’ll only cook pasta for about half the suggested time, turn the heat off, and let it sit in the hot water while I finish everything else. Saves me another dish because I don’t have to drain it somewhere and then figure out how to save pasta water. The pasta water is already right where I need it. That was a long thought.

I also added a spoonful of shrimp butter from the freezer and some red pepper flakes. Definitely not traditional, but it tace good. Using that same zucchini oil, I cooked down the cherry tomatoes and some garlic. If you don’t feel like mincing garlic, don’t. I had a bunch on hand, threw it all in the food processor one day, minced it to hell, and froze it in a bag. Future me is always grateful.

At this point you’ve got zucchini-infused oil, softened tomatoes, garlic, and pasta ready to go. Drop the noodles into the pan with about half a cup of pasta water and start moving everything around. The goal is to emulsify that starchy water with the oil and make an actual sauce.

This is where I added black pepper, herbs, whatever. No salt yet tho, bc once that emulsion starts came together, I added hella grated Parm, and Parm is already bringing plenty of salt to the dish. (traditionally, this uses Provolone del Monaco, which is not exactly something I keep lying around)

Keep mixing until you see a glossy sauce form, maybe a couple minutes depending on the pasta being fully cooked. What started as a clean-out-the-fridge dinner ended up being one of the best bowls of pasta I’ve had in a while.

I ate it straight out of the pan and don’t regret it one bit.

After the Jump: My Version of Spaghetti alla Nerano

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Ingredients

• 6 oz spaghetti

• 2 medium zucchini, sliced very thin

• Olive oil (enough to create a generous layer in the pan)

• 1 cup cherry tomatoes

• 2–3 cloves garlic, minced

• 1 spoonful shrimp butter (optional, regular butter is fine)

• Red pepper flakes

• Freshly grated Parmesan cheese

• Pasta water

• Fresh herbs (i used basil but dried can work too)

• Salt

Procedure

1. Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and cook spaghetti a few minutes shy of al dente.

2. Heat a generous amount of olive oil in a skillet.

3. Fry the zucchini until golden brown and softened.

4. Remove zucchini and season lightly with salt. Set aside.

5. In the same oil, cook cherry tomatoes and garlic until softened.

6. Add shrimp butter and red pepper flakes.

7. Add the pasta along with about ½ cup pasta water.

8. Toss continuously to emulsify the oil and pasta water into a sauce.

9. Add Parmesan and continue tossing until glossy.

10. Fold zucchini back in, taste for seasoning, and serve immediately.

Or eat it directly out of the pan while standing in the kitchen because you still haven’t started packing.

Every weekday morning during the summertime, I make my wife breakfast togo. Nothing extravagant, just a yogurt parfait with blueberries, chia seeds, a drizzle of agave, and granola. I started making the yogurt in school with my students, then figured I might as well make the granola too. Now, every week and a half or so, I spend a little time making both, and breakfast basically takes care of itself.

People sometimes think making yogurt or granola from scratch is some huge undertaking, but neither one is particularly difficult bc they happen mostly without you doing anything at all.

The granola takes maybe ten minutes of actual work. Rolled oats, whatever nuts I have around, shredded coconut, cinnamon, a little salt, honey or maple syrup, melted coconut oil, vanilla…mix everything together and bake it. It’s a little odd, but 330-340 degrees gives me the color and crunch I’m looking for without pushing the edges too far. Stir it every ten minutes and in about half an hour you’re done.

The yogurt is even more hands-off. I keep a spoonful from the last batch as my starter. If I run out, I just buy one of those tiny containers of plain yogurt from the grocery store and start over. The Instant Pot does almost all the work. It pasteurizes the milk, then after I cool it down to around 110°, I stir in the starter and let it ferment for 8 hours, usually while I’m asleep! The next morning it already tastes like yogurt, but I strain it through a nut milk bag for a few hours until it gets to the consistency I like.

The bonus is the whey, which is the yellowish liquid leftover after the straining. I’m not throwing that away either. It ends up in bread, biscuits, pastries…wherever I need a little extra liquid and flavor.

I feel like as a chef, we are always thinking how can I repurpose something or use the whole thing, zero waste ya know. It’s always what I teach my students, and lately at home, everything I make (especially for social media) has to have multiple uses. Groceries are just tew much money to toss anything. Shrimp heads become butter. Chicken bones become stock. Whey becomes bread. A spoonful of yogurt becomes the starter for the next batch.

It’s less about making everything from scratch because it’s trendy, and more because once you start seeing ingredients as something that can keep going, it just becomes part of how you cook. Every ten days or so I spend maybe an hour making yogurt and granola. The payoff is breakfast being done every morning for the next week and a half.

That’s a trade I’ll make every time. Got both recipes after these messages!

Homemade Granola

Ingredients

• 3 cups rolled oats

• ½ cup chopped nuts

• ½ cup shredded coconut

• ⅓ cup honey or maple syrup

• ¼ cup melted coconut oil

• 1 teaspoon vanilla

• ½ teaspoon cinnamon

• Pinch of salt

Method

1. Preheat oven to 340°F and line a baking sheet with parchment.

2. Combine oats, nuts, coconut, cinnamon, and salt.

3. Mix melted coconut oil with the honey (or maple syrup) and vanilla.

4. Pour over the dry ingredients and stir until evenly coated.

5. Spread onto the baking sheet.

6. Bake 20–30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes, until golden.

7. Cool completely before storing.

Homemade Yogurt (Instant Pot method)

Ingredients

• 1–1½ quarts milk

• 3 tablespoons plain yogurt (or some from your previous batch)

Method

1. Use the Instant Pot’s Pasteurize/Boil function.

2. Cool the milk to 110°F or below using an ice bath or the fridge.

3. Whisk in the yogurt starter.

4. Use the Yogurt/Ferment setting for about 8 hours.

5. Chill the yogurt for several hours.

6. Strain through a nut milk bag for 4–6 hours, depending on how thick you want it.

7. Save a little yogurt for your next batch and save the whey for bread, pastries, pancakes, or biscuits.

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Have you guys seen that meme where the caption says, “Me doing what I love,” and it’s somebody doing something that takes forever for absolutely no reason? Ok, I’m bad at explaining it, but that’s what this is for me.

I stand in the kitchen for like four hours, my feet hurt, the sink is full, and I still have to clean the entire place afterward, but I genuinely enjoy getting every last bit out of an ingredient. It’s fun to me, it saves money, and the taste is usually better too.

This shrimp scampi orzo starts with a recipe from NYT Cooking, but the real point of the dish becomes the shrimp itself because every single part has a job. Heads, shells, tails, all of it. People throw away so much flavor. One commenter even questioned the eyes and whiskers, and yes chile, I use those too!

First comes the shrimp butter. I save the heads and cook them down slowly with shallots, carrots, and white wine. Once everything cooks down, I strain the liquid and mix it into softened butter.

For the stock, the shells go into a pot with some vegetable scraps I already have lying around and simmer low for about 45 minutes. Nothing complicated, just enough time to pull all that flavor out properly.

Now before somebody reads this and thinks they need to do all of that in one afternoon, let me help you out. You absolutely can, but unless you’ve got extra time, I probably wouldn’t. Once you peel and clean the shrimp, remove the heads, prep the vegetables for the butter, soften the butter, cook the heads down, prep the stock vegetables, make the stock, prep everything else for the orzo, and then actually cook the dish, you’re probably looking at a solid 2 to 3 hours.

Do I think it’s worth it? Yeah. Weeknight-friendly? Probably only for people like me. Just break up the jobs over time ya know.

I already have separate posts breaking down the shrimp butter and shrimp stock, so if you want to spread the work out over a couple days, do it. Free will is a hell of a drug.

Now let me walk you through the actual dish.

First, the shrimp get marinated in olive oil, lemon zest, red pepper flakes, salt, pepper, and garlic. Even before they hit the pan, they already have tons of flavor, and they get to soak all of that up while I prep the rest.

From there, I build the orzo directly in the shrimp butter. I add the butter to the pan with more olive oil and garlic, then toast the orzo right in the fat until it picks up a little color. Don’t skip that part. Toasting the pasta gives the whole dish a nuttier flavor, kind of like sauteing veggies vs just boiling them.

Once the garlic turns fragrant, I deglaze everything with white wine and let it absorb into the orzo before adding the homemade shrimp stock. As the orzo cooks, it soaks up all that shrimp flavor and turns glossy from the butter and starch.

Once the orzo gets close, the shrimp go directly on top in an even layer. I cover the pan and let them steam gently. Right at the end, I hit it hard with parsley, lemon juice, more lemon zest, and another spoonful of shrimp butter. I added grated Parm bc I love Parm and pasta, idc bout no “no cheese with seafood” rule!

The final dish tastes layered in a way that’s hard to get from just cooking shrimp separately and tossing them on top. You taste the shrimp in every bite because every part of the shrimp goes into the pan somewhere. That’s what really pushes it into scampi territory…hello BUTTER infused with SHRIMP!!

Again, that’s the whole point! Using the entire ingredient shows you not only about that $$ but that there’s a respect for the product and understanding where flavor actually comes from, building on it, and coming out with a bomb ass dish as a reward. Real cheffy type sh**. Yall enjoy!!

Recipe below!

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Shrimp Scampi Orzo with Shrimp Butter

serves 3-4

Ingredients

• 1 pound shrimp, peeled and deveined

• 1 cup orzo

• 2 T shrimp butter (from previous video)

• 1 T olive oil

• Zest and juice of 1 lemon

• 5 cloves garlic, minced (or more, I mean who’s counting)

• Red pepper flakes

• Salt

• Black pepper

• 1/3 c white wine

• 2 c shrimp stock (from previous video)

• Large handful fresh parsley, chopped

• Grated Parm (optional)

1. Toss shrimp with olive oil, lemon zest, red pepper flakes, salt, pepper, and half the garlic. Let sit while you build the orzo.

2. Add shrimp butter, olive oil, and remaining garlic to a pan over medium heat.

3. Once bubbling, add the orzo and toast for about 2 minutes, stirring often.

4. Deglaze with white wine and let it absorb.

5. Add shrimp stock, lower the heat, cover, and cook until the orzo is tender.

6. Nestle shrimp inside the orzo, cover, and cook until pink and just cooked through.

7. Adjust for seasoning, then finish with parsley, lemon juice, lemon zest, and more shrimp butter. Add Parm if you dare! (I did)

Sometimes you make something once just to try it, and then it doesn’t leave your rotation. Now, I’ve had many many crudos, but I don’t think I can tell you the last time I made one at home. This salmon crudo tho, oh its IN the rotation.

I saw the original idea from FoodMyMuse on IG and had to try it. Ya girl has put on a couple pounds and this is a great meal to satisfy my hunger without making me feel stuffed.

It starts with fresh salmon. Cold, clean, and sliced thin. I let mine sit in a cold water salt soak for a few minutes while I prep the rest of the ingredients. And before anybody asks, was it sushi grade… well yes, bc “sushi-grade” is mostly a marketing term. There’s no legal definition for it in the U.S., and no governing body grades fish like that. What actually matters is handling, freezing, and sourcing, not a label on the case. I keep mine super cold at all times, and if I’m really taking a precaution, toss it in the freezer to kill any parasites that MIGHT be in it.

Before slicing, I dry the fish off with a few paper towels, then hit it with a light coat of honey and press it into everything bagel seasoning. It sounds aggressive, but it’s not. The honey helps it stick and gives you a tadbit of sweetness that really works with the saltyness of the dish. Slice it thin, not like Lox thin, but thin bc I hate a big ol thick piece of raw fish, same with oysters…just give me the medium or small joints.

The sauce situation is where it layers up. I mix together Kewpie mayo (rich Japanese mayo), a little miso paste, ground furikake (Japanese seasoning with sesame seeds, salt nori), MSG, and a bit of crushed nori. It should taste savory, a little funky, and fully seasoned on its own.

Then there’s a second sauce. Soy, fresh oj, and honey. That goes down first on the plate. Your plate should be COLD. It helps keep the dish cold while you plate and eat. Anyway, the sauce is bright, salty, slightly sweet. It wakes everything up immediately, and yes Pasley took a Benny for that citrus allergy.

From there, it’s just building. Lay the salmon down, slightly overlapping, spoon over the mayo mixture, not too heavy tho, I used a squeeze bottle. Then thinly sliced chiles go right on top of the fish. Finish with chives last.

That’s it! It eats really balanced. You get salt, fat, acid, heat, and texture. It looks like something complicated, but it’s really just about taking a few simple things and combining em to make something spectac. I say simple bc I make a lotta Asian food so I have this stuff on hand. If you don’t, buy it once and it lasts forever, trust me!

Make it for someone you’re trying to impress, or shoot just for you. You the birthday!!

Recipe beeeeeeeelow.

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Everything Bagel Salmon Crudo

Ingredients

• 1 lb fresh salmon, thinly sliced

• Everything bagel seasoning

• Honey

Mayo Sauce:

• 1/4 c Kewpie mayo

• 1 tsp miso paste

• 1 tsp furikake (I ground mine up in a mortar and pestle)

• Pinch of MSG

• 1 sheet nori, finely crushed

Citrus Soy Sauce:

• 2 T soy sauce

• 2 T fresh oj

• 1 tsp rice vinegar

• 1 tsp honey

Garnish:

• Fresh chives, thinly sliced

• Fresh chiles, thinly sliced

Procedure

1. Dry salmon completely. Lightly coat with honey, then press into everything bagel seasoning.

2. Slice thin and keep chilled.

3. Mix mayo sauce ingredients until smooth and fully seasoned. Adjust as needed.

4. Combine soy sauce, orange juice, rice vin, and honey. Stir.

5. Spoon citrus soy sauce onto the plate.

6. Shingle salmon over the sauce.

7. Spoon mayo mixture over the fish.

8. Top with sliced chiles, then finish with chives.

Serve immediately. Make another one, bc I know you devoured it!!

Ok before we start, I couldn’t find my OG video in my phone bc i’m not a real adult, so y’all got the joint from the gram. Walk with me!

Sometimes the best breakfast plans are the ones that happen on the fly. Most weekends, I wake up and ask Pasley if she wants an omelet or tacos, but I like to keep her on her toes. Between me and you, I used to make these pancakes for her all the time when we were just roomies, whole time I was wooing her yall!! Anyway, I’ve decided to share the wealth. Now I must say, I started making these in 2013 and I have no idea where I got it from so if recognizethem, let me know so I can give proper credit, either way, they are always a hit!

Super simple, just be organized. I start with five slices of bacon, cut into strips, and a small diced onion. Cook the bacon halfway, then add the onion until it’s softened, keeping a little of the mixture aside to top the pancake stack later.

The batter is semi forgiving, dont overwork it, and let it rest for a few minutes once you mix everything. Dry ingredients go in, plus some grunions, then add the wet. Mix just until combined so your pancakes dont come out like a brick.

Fold in the bacon-onion mix, corn, and shredded cheese. The batter will be thick, let it rest for 10 minutes while the pan heats. Cook in 1/4 cup portions over medium heat, about 2 minutes per side. I just use a measuring cup for less mess.

Stack em up, top with the reserved bacon and onion mixture, drizzle with syrup, and that’s it. They’re kinda weird bc why is there cheese in this “pancake,” but idk, it works! Perfect for breakfast, brunch, or any morning you want to linger over the table a little longer than planned.

See if you can woo that man/lady. I promise you will. Recipe below!

Next time: crudo!!

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Stuffed Pancakes

Ingredients

• 5 slices bacon, cut into strips (lardons)

• 1/3 c small diced onion

• 1 c AP flour

• 2 T grunions (green part only)

• 1 tsp baking powder

• 1/2 tsp salt

• dash of cayenne

• 2/3 c milk (a splash more if needed)

• 1 large egg, beaten

• 1 T oil

• 1 c corn (frozen or fresh)

• 1/2 c shredded cheese (I use mozz)

• Maple syrup

Procedure

1. Cook bacon halfway, add onion, cook until soft. Keep some aside for topping.

2. Mix dry ingredients with grunions in one bowl.

3. Mix wet ingredients in another bowl.

4. Combine wet and dry, stir until just combined.

5. Fold in bacon mixture, corn, and cheese. Let rest 10 minutes.

6. Heat pan with butter or oil. Cook 1/4 c portions over medium heat, about 2 minutes per side.

7. Stack, top with reserved bacon-onion mix, drizzle maple syrup, serve.

This one started the same way a lot of my latest vids have. I purchased a protein, and used every single part of it. This time, it was shrimp heads, not the shells, but the heads. More on shells later.

Shrimp heads are a perfect example of zero waste. Some people toss them without thinking, but there’s tons of flavor sitting in there. This video actually did pretty well on my socials. Idk how, but it’s around 200k views while I’m writing this, and it keeps going up. Like, are people just fans of butter or are people trying to use all parts of what they buy? Dont matter to me, keep watching and learning yall!

I started by sweating down a shallot and a bit of carrot in oil over medium heat. I do not want any color on these, just enough to soften them. If they do pick up color, they start to develop a deeper, sweeter, nuttier flavor, which I dont want. That’s awesome in a lot of dishes, but here it competes with the shrimp. I just want a clean base that lets the shellfish shine.

I removed the veg, then cranked the heat up and added the shrimp heads. This part matters bc combined with high heat, for a couple minutes, I’m getting tons of flavor by pressing on them a bit and having those juices come out to play. This is where all the flavor gets extracted the most.

Hit the pan with some white wine (a process called deglazing which uses liquid to pull the flavor off of the bottom of the pan), added the veg back in, some red pepper flakes, then dropped it low and let it simmer for 10 minutes. After that, just cool it down. I popped mine in the freezer bc I’m impatient but the fridge works fine too. You cool it so the butter doesn’t melt on contact and turn into a goopy mess and also ew. Butter and oil take forever to clean up don’t they?!

From there, everything goes into the blender with softened butter. What you’re doing here is pulling all that shellfish flavor into the fat. I have a smaller blender, so I worked in batches, but if you have a food processor or a large joint, let it rip.

Straining is the step I was most concerned about. Traditionally, this gets pushed through a tamis, which is an extra-fine strainer that looks like a giant circle with no handles. You press your mix through it to get rid of any grit and end up with a smooth, clean product. It works, but it’s messy and I’m not doing all that when I have a strainer with a handle. I melted the butter gently over a double boiler and ran it right through thru my strainer.

Once it’s strained, pack it up and chill it. Someone gave a suggestion for an ice cube, shoot you could even just put it in a bag, score it, then take a little square when you need it. Just keep it airtight however you hold it. I folded this into shrimp and orzo for dinner, but let me tell you, a crawfish boil, seafood boil, shrimp crostini, shrimp scampi, beurre blanc, pan sauces, risotto, melted over fish or vegetables, shrimp and grits…I mean anywhere butter and shrimp already exists, this just makes it even better. Recipe down below!

Shrimp Butter

makes about 6 oz

Ingredients

• 1 T oil

• 1 small shallot, finely diced

• ½ small carrot, finely diced

• shrimp heads from 2 lbs of shrimp

• 4 oz dry white wine

• Pinch red pepper flakes

• 2 sticks unsalted butter, softened

Procedure

1. Heat oil over medium. Add shallot and carrot, cook gently until soft. Remove and set aside.

2. Increase heat to high. Add shrimp heads, cook 3 minutes, pressing to release flavor.

3. Deglaze with white wine. Add vegetables back in with pepper flakes.

4. Reduce heat to low, cover, cook 10 minutes.

5. Transfer to a bowl and cool completely.

6. Blend with softened butter until smooth.

7. Strain through a fine mesh strainer/sieve/tamis, pressing firmly to extract as much butter as possible.

8. Roll into a log using plastic wrap. Refrigerate or freeze.

Freezer - up to 3 months, fridge - one week

After the chicken thigh breakdown and the schmaltz follow-up, the next question was pretty obvious: what about the bones? So I made another video, with the same idea as before, just showing what happens next.

I had a mix of bones going in. Some were fresh from thighs I had just deboned, and some had already been cooked once from the Chinese Baddie soup. I dumped them all into a pot. There’s no need to separate them out or overthink it. If you’ve got enough bones, you’re good to go.

Then I added whatever vegetable scraps I had on hand. Parsley stems, onion tops, celery, mushrooms, maybe a carrot? LOL, I measured nothing, just tossing in bones and scraps aka stuff that would’ve otherwise been thrown away. And yall! That’s kinda the whole point.

Once everything’s in the pot, you cover it with water, and by now you’ve done most of the work. In my humble opinion, there’s no specific recipe if you’re just trying to make a decent stock. You need bones, you need some kind of vegetable matter, and you need time.

If you want to add more, you can. A splash of apple cider vinegar, a bay leaf, some peppercorns (I use these all the time) but I realize some of us might not have them on hand all the time, and that is just fine. None of that stuff makes or breaks this stock. I honed in on this bc I believe this is where some people usually get stuck. They think they’re missing something, or doing it “wrong.” But stock, at its core, is just extraction. You’re letting what’s already there come out!

From there, it goes on the stove over low heat at a gentle simmer for a couple of hours. As it cooks, you might see some foam or scum rise to the top and you can skim it off if you want a cleaner result, but again, this isn’t about perfection and if you dont, itll still be just fine.

After a couple hours, strain it, and you’re left with a light, clean stock that you can use in whatever you’re cooking next. It’s great for soup, rice, sauces, anything that could use a little more depth. Last step is to pour it into a container and let it cool, an ice bath works best and is the quickest.

None of this is a secret, or a “chef trick,” it’s just the natural follow-up to breaking down your own chicken. If the skin becomes schmaltz, and the meat becomes dinner, then the bones become this. Same ingredient, just stretched a little further. Again! Once you start doing it, it stops feeling like an extra step. It just becomes part of how you cook.

After I posted the chicken thigh breakdown video, a lot of people had the same question: what is schmaltz? I already went baby viral so I’m thinking, ok make a follow-up.

It wasn’t part of the Nice Thighs series, like not at all. I think it ended up being just as important tho, because this is the part of the chicken that folks usually throw away.

Schmaltz is simply rendered chicken fat. That’s it. No technique barrier, no special ingredients. If you’ve ever taken the skin off a chicken thigh, you already have what you need.

In the video, I start with a bag of chicken skin I’ve been saving. I like to call it, my “chicken skin stash,” haha. A stash is important bc this isn’t something you do once, it’s something you build up over time. A few pieces here and there, and eventually it’s enough to cook down. This is not something I do after breaking down one pack of chicken or just one whole chicken, which is great bc I’m not thinking “omg i have to make schmaltz with this,” every time I do something with chicken.

So from there, it’s simple. I cut the skin into smaller pieces using scissors or a knife, whatever’s easier for you, go for it. Also, it’s actually a lot easier to do when the skin is cold, so defrost it for a bit. You’re not fighting it as much bc it isnt becoming slippery from being room temp.

You can add a little something to it if you want. I threw in a shallot. Some salt for sure, maybe garlic cloves, whole of course. Not required at all!

Then it goes into a pot, low heat, and leave it alone. Yall that’s the whole method:

• cut it up

• let it go low and slow

• strain it

As it cooks, the fat renders out and the skin starts to shrink and crisp. What you’re left with is this clear, golden liquid that you strain it into a jar, let cool, and it’s ready to use. Anywhere you’d use oil or butter, you can use this instead. It carries tons of flavor, and it costs you nothing at all. The small pieces of skin that crisp up along the way? I def eat those. Lil cripsy bits haha.

So yeah, if you’re going to take the time to buy bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs (or a whole chicken) and break them down yourself, this is what happens next. It’s simply a continuation of the same idea, using every single piece of the animal! Best part, it’s just fat, so it’ll last for a few months in the fridge (covered, air tight), and about 6 in the freezer!

Make you some schmaltz!!!!

I posted a video about why I buy bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs, and it ended up doing 1.8 million views on TikTok and 360k on Instagram.

I had to have a come to Jesus moment. I enjoy social media and always wonder why I put out a great vid and it doesnt hit. I know every vid isnt gonna hit, I get that. This was seriously a spur of the moment video bc I felt like talking about chicken thighs. There is no recipe. Nothing is plated. There’s no finished dish. It’s just me breaking down a pack of chicken.

But I think that’s exactly why it worked. People like when I teach bc I do it well. My mom is a retired teacher, as was my dad. I’ve been a teacher for 10 years. I enjoy it when people wanna listen, and I guess the people listened like shit to this one.

Most people are used to buying boneless, skinless chicken thighs. They’re convenient, they’re ready to go, and there’s nothing “wrong” with them. But when you buy chicken that way, you’re only getting one thing: meat.

When I buy bone-in, skin-on thighs, I’m getting three things! I get meat, bones, and skin. I turn those three things into a meal with the meat, stock with the bones, and schmaltz (rendered chicken fat) with the skin.

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In the video, I start by pulling the skin off and setting it aside. I don’t throw it away, just save it in a bag in the freezer until I have enough to render into schmaltz. It’s just chicken fat, cooked out slowly until the skin gets crisp. That fat ends up being one of the best things you can cook with.

Then I take the bone out. I usually use scissors to cut along one side, then scrape the meat off with the back of my knife to clean it up. Nothing fancy. Those bones go into another bag, and once I have enough, I turn them into stock. Even if some of them have already been cooked once, it still works. You get something clean and useful that can go into soups, rice, sauces, whenever you can use water, you can use stock instead. Instant upgrade on these hoes. (I’m from Texas, everything is a hoe, it’s just a noun)

Now, all you’re left with is a boneless, skinless chicken thigh. Same end product most people are buying in the first place, but now you’ve gotten more out of it. A butcher in the comments told me they charge you an extra $5 just to pull off the skin and rip out that bone. In this economy?! With the tariffs?!

So from one pack of chicken, you end up with:

• meat for whatever you’re cooking that day

• skin for schmaltz

• bones for stock

Nothing wasted!

That’s the part I think people connected with. This isn’t about being frugal but instead we are squeezing every last cent out of our groceries and understanding what we are buying and giving us a little more control in the kitchen. Think about when you buy chicken stock out the can or the box. What’s really in there? No more questions if you make it yourself.

Once you do this a couple times, it stops feeling like extra work. It just becomes the way you cook. From there, everything stretches a little further. You get better ingredients, better meals, and honestly, more confidence.

I love the clock app and becoming a Chinese baddie really took over. What got me was the whole hot water or hot soup for breakfast, like could this really be a thing for me? Lemme tell yall, I made it two weeks in a row and was hooked. I was hooked for the first week but week 2? Oh it’s a habit. It’s crazy bc the ingredients are INCREDIBLY simple and the outcome was outstanding. Here is my very simple breakdown.

Soup in the morning is easy on digestion and keeps you full. Chicken thighs stay juicy, even when simmered. It’s just warm broth, shredded thighs, and a great start to the day.

Ingredients

• 3-4 bone in chicken thighs (you can remove the skin now or later)

• seasoning of your choice

• touch of oil

• 3-5 cloves garlic, crushed

• knob of ginger, sliced in half

• handful of mushrooms (optional but delish)

• 4 green onions

• 1/2 white onion, sliced

• your choice of greens (I used spinach)

Procedure

1. Season thighs, I chose to keep the skin and remove it later bc it gives some fat in the soup.

2. Add a touch of oil to your large pot over medium heat.

3. Once it warms up, add the chicken, skin side down.

4. Dont move it, let it cook for about 3-5 minutes, then flip and let the second side cook for the same time. You’re not trying to cook it 100%, it’s going to finish cooking in your broth.

5. Remove the chicken and set aside. Add all your veggies and let them get a little color, about 2 minutes, in the chicken fat. Then add the chicken back in, along with enough water to cover. Drop the heat to a simmer, and let it cook for about 45 minutes.

6. Once the time is up, shred the chicken and add back to the pot. Add the spinach, it should melt right into the soup. Adjust for seasoning and enjoy.

My Thoughts

• Vegetables: They add body, freshness, and crunch. I chose a mix that cooks at different speeds so the texture is interesting in every bite.

• Aromatics (garlic, ginger, green onions): These are the backbone of flavor, absolutely delish and delicate enough at the same time.

• Chicken: Adds heartiness and makes the soup feel substantial. Cooking it in the broth ensures it absorbs all the flavors.

I like soups that feel simple but deliver big flavor. Every step in this recipe is about control: controlling texture, timing, and flavor development. Layering ingredients instead of dumping them all at once makes a noticeable difference. The finished soup has a rich broth, tender protein, vegetables, and aromatic hits in every spoonful.

For anyone making it at home: prep your ingredients first, layer thoughtfully, and taste as you go. That’s really all it takes to turn simple ingredients into a soup that sings. Soup in the morning?! YES!! Be a Chinese Baddie!!

Not gonna lie, every time I open Substack and see that huge blank document, I pull back a little. Do people even care about what I’m talking about? Am I rambling? Is this substantial? I know it’s usually like a few lightbulb moments from the week for me, and it helps to get stuff out, even if it is small. Please listen to that song if you never heard it. Instant bop…and kudos to Destin bc he just got nominated for a Grammy.

I used to actually have a whole ass diary when I was a kid. Like too many. I know some of them are still in my mom’s attic. What’s wild about that is it had this teeny tiny little lock on it, which I’m sure kept absolutely no one out of it. I think I’ll go dig it up and give myself a couple laughs. See what 12 and under Ashley was talking about.

Let me unload some thoughts tho:

• My students were making ramen from scratch and a kid asked could he bring his own seasoning packet from home. Pissed me off man. The whole point of this class is to learn my guy. Some of them truly hate reading, and that is so disheartening.

• My wife loves when I grease her scalp. It’s become a thing that I dont mind doing, which is crazy bc I am very weird about hair. It freaks me out. She recently discovered some kind of herb mix with 18 ayurvedic herbs including some stuff I never heard of like vetiver root, vilvamichai root, alkanet, white turmeric, and screw tree pods. Ayurveda is a traditional, holistic approach to medicine that originated in India, and shoot why not try something new? Tonight is night one of using it, so I’ll report back.

• Yall ever had a currant roll? Mannnnnn I had one in NYC while visiting the homies. It’s a Caribbean pastry, from Trinidad and Tobago, super flaky and buttery with a sweet, spiced filling of dried currants, sugar, and cinnamon. My mind was blown and I have to try to make my own bc Idk where they are in Houston.

• This is not related to any one event, but I was doom scrolling and saw a post discussing catering prices. Someone asked a chef to cater an event, $1k for 50 people. Out of this world. At this point, are people trolling? You’re asking for someone to cook, clean, travel, and serve for 50 people, at 20 bucks a person? Bro you damn near spend that just getting a meal at Whataburger!

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What I Ate This Week

While I don’t think I ate great this week, I was more mindful of snacking and sugar intake. A few highlights:

Ok, maybe not the best ‘less sugar’ week in regards to fermented sugar aka champagne. Around the holidays, Wifey and I splurge a little and make our go-to bottle Piper Heidsieck Brut Champagne. It’s dry, crisp, and she isnt allergic! Also, I dont think you can beat $35 per bottle at Costco. (honorary mention - Kirkland’s Champagne…great price but not my fave)

For a cute lil date night, we checked in at Rosie Cannonball to put our names on the list to wait bc we knew it would be an hr a minimum. While we waited, we hit Montrose Cheese and Wine, grabbed a cute lil meat and veg board, along with a bottle of Albet i Noya “Petit Albet” Brut Reserva Cava. Rosie’s hit us back, so we headed there and grabbed a delish pepperoni pizza ($10!) and a bottle of Cleto Chiarli Lambrusco just for funzies. The bottle was crazy big and unexpected, so we corked it for later. Tell me why it spilled all over the fridge bc the cork they gave us wasnt its true cork. Helluva cleanup.

The week also included hitting our fave restaurant, La Lucha. I swear, they have the best tacos man. Crispy fried shell, spicy shrimp filling, an achiote salsa, lettuce, and a piece of American cheese right in the middle. Sounds crazy but they hit every damn time. Babe wanted oysters (I did too) so we grabbed two dozen Matagorda Pearls and a couple beers.

You know what gets me? Sugar in carbs. I’ve prolly gotten over the sugar in desserts as I’ve grown, but rice? Bread? Pasta?! Chile please, I fold daily. I always have rice on hand, but I read that freezing then reheating rice increases its resistant starch, which slows glucose absorption. This helps prevent sharp spikes in blood glucose after eating. Neat trick, and I def plan on using it. It’s become a tradition in my class that we make hot fried chicken sammies every year, but this year, the babies switched it up and sold it for breakfast. Not bad with some honey!

Now I don’t have much to say about that pasta. It was just good ol fashioned homemade fettuccine noodles tossed in butter, parm, and hit with fresh parsley. So simple and always a winner!

Another bottle we enjoyed was at the Leon Thomas concert. I guess I’m not helping that much because I don’t remember what it was, however! It was a Riesling, which I don’t do often bc sometimes they’re too sweet. This one was wasn’t, but Wifey was def allergic to it due to the citrusy flavors.

I dont have a recipe for yall this week bc the stuff I made, guess what i didnt do?! Document it. I did however, try that pork recipe I discussed from last week. It was tasty, but I had to put in 24 hrs of marinade time, then baste it every 45 min for 3 hours, and then let it cook an additional hour. I just dont think I want to put in that much effort for something that didnt completely knock my socks off. I ate some at home, then took the rest to school and the kids and I made pulled pork breakfast tacos, which werent bad at all!

Stay hungry,

Ashley

This friend got a new group of friends later in life, and suddenly the old version of them doesn’t really exist when they’re around us. Conversations feel different, interests have shifted (musical taste is crazy, it’s like we dont even know the same artists), and every hangout comes with this…weirdness? Like, why are we struggling to find convo when we used to talk every day? It’s like we’re still here, but are we? Especially when we see them around the new besties and it’s like damn you the energizer bunny my boy!

Now look, I only took the one required sociology class in college and I barely made it outta there, but I do remember that humans get a lot of their self-esteem from groups, or the people we are around. If you’re not recognized in one space, you’ll look for another where you are. And when you try to combine both worlds? That’s when things get weird (sometimes), and old friends feel like you’re distant (it’s us, we are the old friends).

I think the person at hand feels like we dont “get” them. And now everybody just lookin or feeling crazy. We all derive a sense of self from the groups we belong to. When those groups shift, our behaviors follow. If we stop feeling seen in one circle, we’ll seek another that reflects back a version of us that we like better. And sometimes, that new version doesn’t quite fit the old crowd anymore.

I know it’s not malicious, and it’s just evolution. But it’s also a reminder: if you’re out here evolving, don’t forget the people who saw you before. Also, if you’re watching someone else evolve, it’s ultimately not about you, and maybe think about the person they were before the change. But is that person still your person? Or just an old, dear friend?

I think the tension comes when someone tries to balance both worlds, one being the “day 1s” who know the unfiltered, younger (?) version of them, and the “newbies,” that celebrate the curated one. That weird space feels awkward for everyone involved, I hate it. Old friends feel like they’ve lost someone, the person feels misunderstood, and everyone’s wondering why are they trippin, or saying they changed. I have to be careful when I say curated or changed, bc I 100% get that people change and grow, and mfs can kick rocks if they dont like it. I guess when it feels fake is what gets me. Identity is fluid, but accountability gotta be part of it. It’s okay to evolve, but don’t lose the humility to check how you’re showing up, especially with your day 1s.

Anyway, people be weird bro, but ultimately, just do what makes you happy.

What I Ate This Week

Yall, I ate terribly. Like what is going on with me? I feel like I say it every week, “I’m going to do better,” and then the week gets away from me. Adulting is basically just doing laundry, paying bills, and figuring out what to eat 3x a day. So excessive.

I had a cutesy bowl of ramen as an after school snack one day this week. I always gotta razzle dazzle it, so put an egg yolk, a bit of Kewpie mayo, a touch of the noodle water, and chili crisp in a bowl, plus 1/2 the seasoning pack. That’s my sauce, and I cook the noodles in water with the other half of the seasoning packet. Once drained, I add the cooked noodles to my lil sauce and top it with thinly sliced cabbage, green onions, cilantro, and furikake. Solid.

See this is where it gets outta control and I need to get a grip. I had fried chicken from Frenchy’s on Friday night, then turned around and had a catfish sandwich (fried hard) at a community service event with my students on Saturday. THEN, Wifey and I hit Piggy’s on Sunday for old times sake. We used to live pretty close then moved, but since we were in the area, it was like, why not ya know? They have a chicken and waffle plate for brunch and the patio is always nice. But cmon, fried food 3 days in a row…ASHLEY PLEASE.

We used to do this thing called Oyster Friday at the crib every single Friday, like borderline obsessive. It was a thing that people looked at my account for, and then I guess we got burned out? Either way, Friday afternoon, we picked up about 3 dozen oysters from Whole Foods then busted down some good ol Oyster Rockefeller, using Melissa Clark’s recipe from NYT Cooking. Not bad at all; recipe after the break. Speaking of seafood, I made a mean pot of Okra Gumbo from a cookbook named Jubilee. Excellent stuff, made with beef (I know right?!), shrimp and crab. FANtastic and I didnt take a single picture, but I did make a video. (on my IG)

I’m working on some Thanksgiving prep as we speak. I want to do something different, so I’m thinking a Caribbean Roasted Pork from the same book, Jubilee. Never had it before, and I think it could be a hit. Yall be easy. I’m a tad hungover (Wifey and I saw Leon Thomas last night), so more than likely it’ll be a taco night from La Calle. Thanks for reading!

Ashley

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Chef’s Corner (Oysters Rockefeller)

This is straight from NYT Cooking, via Melissa Clark. I love the butter sauce, super rich. I also added a little parm and heavy cream to loosen it up a bit, totally optional. Don’t waste the sauce!

Ingredients!

• 1 stick of butter

• ½ cup panko bread crumbs

• 1 cup finely chopped baby spinach

• 1 cup finely chopped parsley, leaves and tender stems

• 1 large shallot, finely chopped

• 2 garlic cloves, finely grated, passed through a press or minced

• Pinch of fine sea salt or table salt

• Some kind of acid (I used banana pepper juice bc Pasley is allergic to citrus)

• 1/4 c grated Parm and heavy cream

• 36 oysters, shucked

  Procedure!

1. In a large skillet over medium heat, melt butter. Add bread crumbs and sauté until they are just a tiny bit golden, about 2 minutes. Stir in the spinach, parsley, shallot and garlic. Cook until fragrant, 1 minute. Remove from the heat and stir in a small pinch of salt.

2. Add whatever kind of acid you choose (lemon is the most common), along with the grated Parm and heavy cream. Mix into the pan.

3. Heat the broiler to high. Line baking dish with crumbled up foil to steady the oysters. Lay the oysters on top of the salt or foil. Spoon about ½ tablespoon of the sauce mixture on top of the oysters. Broil until just golden, 1 to 3 minutes. Serve hot, with a squeeze of lemon on top, if you like.

It’s always incredible to take part in homecoming activities, no matter where you went. I’ve missed HU’s the past few years bc life happens, ya know! The last time I attended I was coming off of a bug, and it didn't go so well, but it was still lovely to see all of my college friends. Next year will be my 20th year (shout-out to c/o 2006), so please believe I’m in that thang! Until then, I still had to get my fix, which meant heading to PV’s homecoming with my mom and wife.

Full Circle Vibe

I know right, crazy! Mom and Wife! Life is funny bc I never thought that would be a thing.

1. PVHC is always so fun (they have so much space)

2. I’ve gone to their homecoming so much, I go whenever I cant get to Howard’s in DC

3. Going this time with both my mom and wife? Unreal.

Pasley and I have an extensive and amazing love story, one that is my absolute fav to tell. It took us about 10 years to get to where we are now, which is marrieddddddddd, hello!

We never betrayed each other’s trust, which is why I think “spinning the block” worked for us. I will say, navigating checking all the boxes (being Black, a woman and part of the LGBTQ tribe) is a hell of a task, one that neither one of us figured out until our late 30s. We had to grow separately before we could really come together. I wouldn't change a single thing either! She is the best thing that ever happened to me and I thank God for her every single day…even if she didn’t go Howard :-)

It was funny seeing us (me, my mom, Pasley) kicking it at PVHC. We’ve done things together before obviously, but homecoming was a full circle moment.

When I was a freshman at HU, I invited my mother and aunt, not knowing what homecoming entailed…the parties, the yard, the whole campus is just ALIVE. So basically, I barely saw my mom bc I was bopping all around the campus and the city all weekend! So yeah, it was cool to go to homecoming and spend that time with my two fav ladies together at their campus. And y'all, I was in the bed by 7!

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What I Ate During The Week

Man, the week flew by, but I have a few highlights!

• Had a mean charcuterie board with Wifey. Calabrese, sugared pecans, cute little mozzarella balls, dry salami, some sweet jam, Kalamata olives, chorizo, Soppressata, Bleu cheese, Boursin cheese, grapes, gherkins, and last but not least, some bubbles! Cheers to a girl dinner!

  

• Pasley requested chili dogs bc she didn't want me to work hard, but cooking is fun when I do it on my own terms, so I said, why not! I ended up making the hot dog buns from scratch, in addition to the chili, and housemade crispy fries. Not gonna lie, I love homemade fries, but these are tedious and require time. Nothing wrong with frozen if that works best for you! Recipes below!

  

• My senior students sold sandwiches to the staff and knocked it out of the park. Pulled pork, chicken salad, and a meatball sub. They made everything from scratch (except the bread) and I actually had a meatball that I enjoyed. First time for everything, I hate meatballs bro. Also, I made them finally try chicken salad and they dug it! Who knew everyone hated it so much?! Watching my students crush it in the kitchen reminded me how much growth happens in shared spaces, whether it’s a classroom or a homecoming.

• My junior kiddos made pizza bc we are studying mother sauces, this lesson being tomato. They made the sauce and the dough from scratch, letting it ferment for a couple days in the fridge. Top tier!

  

• I made a few tasty breakfasts to end the weekend, some Turkish eggs on Saturday, followed by a good old fashioned breakfast plate on Sunday.

Fun fact that has nothing to do with eating though, how bout I watched Twilight and Casino Royale for the first time ever? Twilight, ehhhhhhh, but Casino Royale? Not bad at all!!

So yeah, I never thought I’d be at PV’s homecoming with my mom and wife, but here we are laughing, catching up, and soaking in all that good energy. It’s wild how life brings you right where you need to be, surrounded by the people who make everything make sense. Lena Waithe said, ‘The best endings make the best new beginnings.’ If this week was any sign, the next chapter’s gonna be something beautiful. Y’all stay hungry, aight?

Ashley

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Chef’s Corner (a couple recipes)

Chili for Hot Dogs (good for 8-10 dogs)

Ingredients!

• 1 lb 80/20 ground beef

• 1 small onion, small diced

• 3 cloves garlic, minced

• 1 fresh serrano, finely chopped (I keep seeds for heat)

• 2 T tomato paste

• 2 tsp smoked paprika

• 1 T chili powder

• 1 tsp ground cumin

• 1 tsp ancho chili powder

• ½ tsp cayenne pepper (I like hot food!)

• ½ tsp ground coriander

• 1 c beef broth

• 1 c tomato sauce

• 1 T Worcestershire sauce

• 1 tsp apple cider vinegar

• 1 tsp honey

• Salt & cracked black pepper

Procedure!

1. Medium high heat, add beef. Once browned and crisped, break it up and push to one side.

2. On the empty side, add onion and jalapeño. Cook until soft.

3. Add garlic; cook 30 seconds more.

4. Add tomato paste, paprika, chili powder, cumin, chipotle, cayenne, and coriander.

5. Stir and toast a couple minutes, this blooms the spices.

6. Deglaze with beef broth, and make sure to scrape up the browned bits on the bottom of the pan.

7. Add tomato sauce, Worcestershire, vinegar, and brown sugar. Stir.

8. Simmer uncovered low heat for about 30 minutes, stirring occasionally until reduced to a thick, glossy chili that clings to a spoon.

9. I like to add a tab of butter here just bc, but that's totally optional. Slather that all over them dogs baby!!!

Crispy French Fries (plenty for 2 people)

Ingredients!

• 2 lb Russet potatoes

• 2 qt water

• 1 T kosher salt

• ½ tsp baking soda

• Oil for frying (I used vegetable oil)

• Salt, for seasoning after frying

Procedure!

1. Peel potatoes and cut into matchsticks. Keep them uniform for even cooking.

2. Rinse in cold water until the water runs clear to get rid of the starch.

3. Soak in cold water 30 minutes (or longer if you can wait).

4. In a large pot, bring 2 qt water + 1 tbsp salt + ½ tsp baking soda to a boil.

5. Add drained fries.

6. Boil 8 minutes, until they’re very tender, almost falling apart, but not mushy.

7. Drain carefully, then spread fries on a wire rack or tray. Make sure it can fit in your fridge!

8. Let steam off for a few minutes, then chill in the fridge or freezer for at least 30 minutes (or up to a few hours). This dries them all the way out.

9. First Fry - Heat oil to 325°F.

10. Fry in batches, 4 minutes until pale and slightly blistered, very little color here.

11. Drain on that same wire rack or tray from before. (I hate dishes)

12. Cool 30 min.

13. Second Fry - Heat oil to 375°F.

14. Fry again 2–3 minutes until GBC. (golden brown and crispy)

15. Drain on a rack then sprinkle immediately with salt. (I added Parm, totally optional)

I’m an avid TikTok user, like I seriously love that app. Vine walked so TT could run btw. As we all know, the world is a dumpster fire, and parts of social media help me find some joy, but sometimes, it can have the opposite impact and make me wanna spiral. I think for a couple weeks, I’m going to utilize the not interested button and just take a backseat to all of the negativity. I’m noticing how social media and constant negativity drain my focus, which prolly gets to my students too.

Speaking of backseats, I’m relaxing in mine as we speak…yes I’m 100% at work. I teach Culinary Arts to high school students and today has been a day. This is a rant, fyi. I’m not sure if you have kids, know kids, know someone with kids, but these little humans have been testing every ounce of my patience this week. Lemme give you a bit of my day. Protecting the names of kids ofc.

1st Period - Leadership Vacuum

I hate repeating myself, especially if I know my instructions were delivered clearly and straight to the point. I hate asking questions and no one answers. No response at all? Nothing, not a single “Yes,” “No,” I’m on it Chef,” nothing. Just that terrible Gen Z stare, which is incredibly futile and shows zero emotion, just a blank stare. It is so frustrating to see them disengaged. Anyway, this is a small class and somehow my quietest. They’re smart, but no one wants to step up and be a leader. It’s a bunch of smart followers, yet each one of them could lead if they just spoke the hell up. They filed in and took a seat. Mind you, we made our plan for the week last Friday, so they know exactly what to do as soon as they get in the room. I deliberately waited on them to start moving and not wait on me to prompt them. Now ask me, did they move? Absolutely not! “Billy” messed up some mushrooms, and when I asked his team what was going on, no one said anything. One kid went to fix it, but didn’t communicate it, another just kept his back turned, and Billy himself just stood there doing nothing. THIS IS SERIOUSLY FOOD WE ARE SERVING TO PEOPLE, YOU HAVE TO CARE. They have to understand that professionalism and safety are non-negotiable in culinary, like you can literally kill people. Sarah, I ask her why she was so quiet and was she ok, you know what she gave me? The Gen Z stare, followed by a “I’m good,” once I just stood there like wtf…not to mention the crazy look she gave me on the way out as I was telling everyone goodbye. Angela, instead of getting to work, decides to work on something from 3rd period, which she should’ve done during when? Third freaking period. I’m like why aren’t you cooking the chuck roast (bc it takes six hrs over a two day period), and she says, “Oh, well I marinated it.” Seriously yall, wtf does that have to do with anything. She gets up to take care of it, then five minutes later is sitting back down, with her frozen beef stock on the table, which she needs to cook the roast. Again, I ask what she’s doing and why isn’t she thawing the stock. Please keep in mind we made all of these last week for practice, so this isn’t new to anyone. I ask, “Do you know what to do?” bc maybe she needs help. Guess what, she doesn’t. She knows exactly what to do, verbatim what we did last week, except for some reason, she just didn’t think she needed to do it now.

Please tell me where the disconnect is? I know I’m not a bad teacher, I know my instructions were clear, so WHAT IS IT?!

The thing is, I have some excellent students, like really good. I also have some that are average, which is fine too. I have some that don’t really care about cooking, but they excel in other areas that still fall under the culinary/restaurant umbrella, so we cool. I do not think I have a single kid that doesn’t actually like to cook, so my mind wonders why they act the way they do.

2nd period - Sally

I have a kid who doesn’t eat pork, let’s call her Sally. Cool, we always get her something else, by request. We’re practicing breakfast plates this week and making our own sausage. Class starts, and I remind the group that’s making the sausage not to forget about Sally, then I ask Sally for confirmation.

Sally ignores me.

I ask again, thinking maybe it’s early; she ignores again. Now see, the thing about kids is they wait to see how you react when other kids escalate situations. So I ask Barbara, who sits next to Sally, “Is she cool? She got on headphones or something?”

Barb says no, then Sally rolls her eyes and looks up at me, begrudgingly. Still doesn’t answer.

I’m now looking at her, and I ask again, “Is that correct, chicken, right?”

She doesn’t answer, and I say, “Aight, get up. Let’s chat outside then, maybe you’ll answer me there.”

It’s then, after four attempts, that Sally starts pleading that she said something, that I just didn’t hear her. Now y’all, I was looking directly at her each time, so stop the cap.

If you disrespect me in public, the apology needs to be in public, and if there isn’t an apology, that’s fine, let’s just get on the same page.

So I tell Sally, “When I’m looking at you, you look at me, then you answer when I ask you a question, just like I do for you. Are we clear?”

She answers, “Yes.”

I respond by telling her, “You’re so good at this job.”

Communication is a professional SKILL, one that I do not take lightly. The kids gotta learn, bad days happen all the time and that does not mean they get to toss respect or good manners out of the window.

3rd period

Rolled out my own pizza dough for tomorrow. Cooled off a little. Didn’t talk much, thank God.

4th period - Kitchen Chaos

We are on mother sauces in cuisine, specifically tomato sauce this week. I gave the kids the option (why did I do that) of making Ragu Bolognese or pizza. Ofc they chose the latter, but they have to make the dough, the sauce, and prep their toppings. I had them write the recipe yesterday, then we went over the procedure today. Going over the procedure means I tell them exactly what to do, in what order, why they do it that way, and I have them write it down. On top of that, we have a question and answer period. Then I demo it too! I’m checking all the boxes here to make sure no one is stressed, especially me. Yall they got in that kitchen and instead of doing what I told them, they did the opposite. Instead of doing step one, they started at step 5. They grabbed all the scales and then when they say they needed batteries, instead of asking, they just left em there and tried to share two scales (12 kids mind you). They didn’t use any chatter (letting ppl know your location in small spaces), so Kelly dropped a glass bowl of product bc someone ran into her. They were talking while I was talking. The dough came out goopy. It was just one thing after another, and I def lost my cool. I had everyone sit down while Kelly swept up the glass, had a “come to Jesus moment,” then let them get back in it. I apologized for going off, still I let them know I meant what I said…my delivery however, was less than stellar and not cool.

I saw a TT saying once you have enough self love, you cut folks off so quickly, for the smallest things. It’s that time. I give my students plenty of chances, PLENTY. I was talking to my wife about this, and you know what she said?

“Stop. Just stop cooking.”

LIGHTBULB. So guess what we doing in class after next week? NOT COOKING. I’m no longer repeating myself, no longer stressing over Gen Z stares, and no longer wondering where I might’ve gone wrong. It only took me 10 years! Welcome to our litte reset! Next week, we’ll be stepping back from cooking to focus on kitchen communication, safety protocols, and professionalism. I want students to earn their way back into hands-on cooking through teamwork, culinary skills (not in the kitchen) and focus.

I don’t have any of what I ate last week, I don’t have any pics, I just wanted to share my thoughts. I think I’ve been feeling this way for a while…the state of the world, reaching the menopause age, trying to mold students…it’s so much at one time. It’s like, what can I change to make MY life less stressful?

1. I can’t change the state of this dumpster fire of a world, but I can find some joy along the way.

2. I can’t stop menopause, but I can choose where to invest my energy.

3. I can’t change how my students think, but I can change what I make them learn aka I can stop cooking and start “hitting them books!” Maybe when they show me they can listen, communicate, focus, be responsible…maybe we can get back to it.

Hope you got some joy out of The Office memes. Best episode? Dinner Party. I think I’ll go watch that now.

I’ll be back next week with my regular programming.

I went out recently here in Houston (yikes), and it reminded me of something I’ve known for a while but needed to see again in real time. There’s a big difference between knowing people and knowing the right people.

You ever out with someone who loves to name drop? Like every few minutes it’s “oh I know them” or “we used to hang out.” Real Mr. Me Too type shit. That’s cute and all, but when it’s time to actually make something shake, those so-called connections disappear faster than a good parking spot in the city.

Meanwhile, the quiet ones, the folks who don’t flex or brag, somehow make things happen without saying a word. That’s the difference between proximity and relationship. Some people want to be seen around the action, but others are the action.

That night out was a nice reminder that I def dont know a lot of people, but I know some good ones, and I don’t need to know everybody. I just need to keep a circle of solid folks, the people who move with intention, not performance. The ones who don’t just know names, but know you.

Also, please for the love of God, if you go somewhere and the server hooks you up with freebies, mannnn leave some extra on the tip bro! (former server here)

Anyway, enough of my mini sermon. Let’s get into the good part, what I ate this week.

What I Ate This Week - I was off all week fyi

Monday

I’ve been starting my days with a lil caffeine (dont judge) ginger drink by a company named Slapp. Lemme tell ya, not for the weak, def tastes like I’m biting a piece of ginger and chasing it with some lemon juice. My goodness. Only thing, I cant drink it unless I eat something first bc that acid omg, so not cool on an empty tummy! For brekky I made myself a non chaotic bacon egg and cheese sammy. Remember last week I was wylin, stuff was going everywhere bc I was filming the process, but I’m off this week, so peace and precision baby.

Lunch was a new flavor of ramen from Fly by Jing. They sent me three kinds — chili crisp, soy sauce, and sweet and spicy. I’ve eaten them all now, and the soy sauce noodles won by a landslide. I didn’t use the whole sauce pack, but I did add cilantro and a touch of my own chili crisp. Fantastic.

Dinner - yeah I just didnt feel like cooking at all. Wifey and I hit up Nonno’s. Had some bomb ass gnocchi with goat cheese slathered in pesto, and of course some of the best wings in town. They cover them in an Italian chili crisp, and man if you’re in Houston and havent had them, you are seriously missing out.

Tuesday

The funniest thing about today is that it was all over the place. I decided I wanted to be an adult and run some errands, but totally forgot to eat anything on the way out. I got to Whole Foods and then decided I was famished. I did something I’d never done before and got a premade sandwich lol, a tuna sammy to be exact. It wasnt bad at all, couldve used some personality, so 6/10. I also grabbed a matcha in a can by a brand called Pop & Bottle. Never heard of them, but yall, solid 8/10. If it was a tad colder, it wouldve been a 9. Shoutout to WF for having a mean sale on those. To round out my lunch, I had a chocolate chip cookie. Now those cookies?! Mannnnn I could eat legit six of those in one sitting. Nothing like em.

I also took a trip to Costco without a damn list. What the hell? I went in for flushable wipes (aye be clean ok), and walked out with Fishwife tuna, a bunch of charcuterie and the accoutrements, whole fish, eggs, clothes, bubbles, sparkling water, wheat noodles, coconut water, and just bc I’m healthy, a rotisserie chicken. Ashley, please!

Dinner was with my lady. We stay using our amenities, so I took my talents outside and made the two of us a Lebanese style meal. Grilled chicken marinated in yogurt and spices, sliced cucumbers with some herbs, and a tomato and onion salad, all stuffed in a homemade pita. Listen, if you live in an apt, GET YA RENT’S WORTH BABY! (recipes are after the break) Yall but I made alladat, then ate a bowl of cereal bc I wanted “something sweet.” I made a video for it on my IG, if you wanna see the finished product.

Wednesday

I tell you, writing this def makes me look at my decisions as an adult. I ate ZERO, all day long…until I helped out my girl Michelle at a whole James Beard event at The Post Oak Hotel. It was called Taste America: Houston and featured some of the city’s best chefs. There was caviar on chips, free-flowing bubbles, and little sushi bites. My favorite bite (no bias) was Michelle’s: Wagyu beef brisket pastrami with Havarti Béchamel and pickled veggies. Top tier. Damnit that girl is good!

Thursday

I went to dinner with my mom at a former job, which let me be very clear, I still have love for. Yall it was horrible. I’ve never been so disappointed with the food. Everything went up at least $7 and the portions didn’t change, in fact, I think they got smaller wtf. We shared some spinach dip, and its now $21 for the same amount of dip but less chips…you gotta ask your server for more. I also had a chicken sandwich, clearly made out of chicken breast cutlets, and baby when I tell you they pounded the bejeezus outta that cutlet?! It was thinny thin thin like a credit card and had the nerve to be $26, with a baby handful of fries. We usually end with dessert but the way things were going, NAH.

Friday

Such a beautiful day in the city. Took the top and doors off of the Jeep. We had a lil pre dinner snack at Hudson House. Some oysters, a touch of bubbles, tad bit of popcorn chicken. Good stuff. New spot for dinner at Good God Nadine’s, which was pretty tastee. Lil bit of Gochuhang wings along with a solid $7 burger and fries, and they have a cool drink menu too. I had a roasted Hojicha matcha drink which was very diff but good!

Saturday

Best day of eating. We treated ourselves to The Marigold Club for dinner. Honey listennnnnnn. First class all the way. Pretty penny, absolutely, but well worth it. Had a bottle of Krug and some oysters with Osetra caviar and my first gin drink! Our favorite person ever is a bartender there and bc of her service, we will follow her anywhere. Ann, if you’re reading this, please dont move to like, Dallas or something. (no shade to Dallas, well a little)

Sunday

Had tacos for breakfast via La Calle, snacked on some Fishwife, drank some bubbles, then I saw this incredible recipe for Pho using a rotisserie chicken. DING DING DING, GOT EMMMMMMMMM. Shoutout to Alissa Nguyen for the recipe. Def not my first time making Pho, but this was for sure a cheat code that I will add to my arsenal. So comforting, filled with lots of herbs and tons of flavor.

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Chef’s Notes (Recipes)

Quick Pita Bread (makes 8)

Ingredients!

• 3 c AP flour

• 2 tsp sugar

• 2 tsp instant yeast

• 1 ½ tsp kosher salt

• 1 T olive oil

• 1 cup warm water (100°F)

Procedure!

1. Mix dry ingredients. Add water and oil, mix until dough comes together.

2. Knead 10 min (I used my hands) until smooth. Cover, let rise 1 hr until doubled.

3. Punch down, divide into 8 balls. Rest 10 min under a towel.

4. Roll each into about a 6-inch circle.

5. Heat a cast iron skillet until very hot. Cook 1 min per side until puffed up and browned.

6. Wrap in a towel to keep warm and soft.

Chicken For Pita (serves 2 plus leftovers)

Ingredients!

• 2 lb boneless skinless chicken thighs, cut into 2-inch chunks

• 1 c plain yogurt

• 4 cloves garlic, minced

• 2 T lemon juice

• 2 T olive oil

• 2 tsp kosher salt

• 1 tsp each ground cumin and paprika

• ½ tsp each coriander, black pepper, cayenne

Procedure:

1. Mix yogurt, garlic, lemon, oil, and spices. Add chicken.

2. Marinate at least 4 hrs (overnight is best but I didnt and it was still bomb).

3. Thread onto skewers.

4. Grill over medium-high heat, 5–6 min per side, until they get some color and hit 165°F internally. You could also toss em in the oven, just rotate them halfway.

I guess that’s my time yall! As I’m writing this, I realize it’s getting late, and I am yet again, hungry. Pasley and I decided that we would focus on eating right this week, so maybe there’s a veggie in sight!! Yall try not to indulge in too much social media…it’ll rot ya brain. All they had to do was vote for the Black lady tho. (shrug)

Ashley

What’s up with Apple bro? So my iPhone (13) is losing battery super quick, for example, I was on 100%, made a breakfast sandwich, scrolled TikTok for a lil bit, then sat on my patio. Whole thing maybe 20 minutes. Got outside, phone on 51%. Hopped on gchat, listening to Spotify, phone on 22%. Apple need to be ashamed. I saw a video where they found a fridge from the 50s, plugged it in, and that thing still worked! They don’t build stuff like that anymore, it’s all planned obsolescence now. Can’t make money offa you if you only buy one iPhone, right?

I am no longer the person that needs a phone every time they come out with a new one. Hell, what is “new” for Apple anyway? And I’ve been riding with them for a long time, like I had the 1st iPod, we been down. Back when I’d call the customer service line and say my headphones were ripping and they would send me a new pair, FOR FREE. Back when you’d get a brand new charger and headphones with every phone purchase. Like, BRING BACK THE OLD APPLE.

Speaking of music, not to be a traitor, but is R&B dead? I still enjoy a few cuts from a couple artists, but majority of it is stuff that’s at least a few years old or classic 90s, shoot even older. I find myself listening to house influenced R&B often when I wanna hear new stuff, and then usually I’ll find some new artists that dip their toes in both genres. Really feeling anything Kaytranada touches, Sasha Keable, Sailorr, Elmiene, Destin Conrad, Kehlani (long time fan like since Cloud 9), etc. Listening to 2010-2018 music also makes my brain tingle, like damn what a time!

What I Ate This Week

Now gird your loins ok. By no means did I eat anything healthy this week, matta fact, I think I might’ve eaten one veggie all week, and it was in soup form. Luckily, my wife believes in supplements, so I take this “super green” stuff to make myself feel better about my terrible decisions.

Monday
I made a very chaotic BEC for breakfast. For some reason I even thought it was a good idea to document it, thinking I could be on time for work. I def was not on time, but that sandwich was hitting, and it was nice to start the day off with breakfast even if it meant there was American cheese involved. (melts the best, know this) Dinner was leftover rice box, which is never as good as day one, but it’ll do.

Tuesday
I made a horrible pistachio matcha for brekky. Have you ever been victimized by something on the internet that was spose to be so good but was a grave disappointment? Yeah this was that. I toasted the pistachios, ground them up with oat milk and condensed milk, strained into my matcha mixture and poured it over ice. Ok maybe not terrible, but I def dont ever have to make it again. I guess I dont need to drink my pistachios?

Now dinner was a complete 180 bc baby these tacos I made?! SHEEEESH. Recipe below after the break.

Wednesday
My students are making croissants from scratch (INCREDIBLE) so we have leftover egg whites due to only using the egg yolks for egg wash. Being the food cost nerd I am, I took those leftover egg whites and just tossed em over some rice with a lil hot sauce and some green onions. Quick, classic, good.

Babe took care of dinner and we had a good ol Cava bowl. Sidequest tho…I saw a TikTok that called all the bowl places’ products “slop bowls,” bc once you mix everything up, yeah what exactly is that? LOL

Thursday
My one veggie so far, damn this is crazy. Writing this all out makes me think about the choices I’m making like bish eat a damn veggie omg. My senior kids fundraise every couple weeks, and this was an abbreviated week bc we took a field trip on Tuesday. We typically need three days to put on a service, and since Friday is a detail clean day, that left us with one day to prep, one day to sell. They came up with tomato soup and grilled cheese. Not bad, actually the soup was great, but it’s still 1000 degrees in Houston and I dont think anyone wanted to heat up their internal body temp anymore that it already was, so yeah, not a big seller.

Fun date night later on tho! Wifey and I had champagne in the park while watching Wicked on the big screen. Yes that was dinner…which is the great thing about being an adult, we can eat what we wanna eat and won’t get in trouble.

Friday
This had to be my fav brekky all week. Not sure if yall know, but homemade croissants take minimum two days to make, and since I only see my students 1.5 hrs daily, it takes us three days to crank em out. Let me be so for real, these were worth the wait 10x!! Mannnn we slapped some bacon, eggs, and cheese on those fresh buttery flakey croissants, and it was one of the most incredible things that have come out of my classroom in my 10 years teaching this class. The kids enjoyed them as well. It was truly such a wonderful moment bc they felt so accomplished (as they should have), and I felt like a great teacher and also breakfast was banging! I am ashamed bc I do not have a single pic, and for that, I am sorry. *update - my student hit me saying she made 32 croissants when she got home bc they were THAT good*

I did way too damn much for dinner. Pasley said she wanted scampi so I obliged, but got way too cheffy while making it and it was not scampi bro. It still had the elements of scamp - butter, garlic, parsley, wine - but I reduced with wine and tomato paste, made some breadcrumbs, cranked out pasta from scratch, and it wasnt bad at all, but it just was not scampi. Lol

Saturday
Had a delicious matcha from The Matcha Guy after going to hot pilates at Happy Hour Pilates (who is sheeeeeeeeeee). I tried something new called Kulfi milk, which is like a South Asian ice creamy milk treat…I’m not an expert by any means on the process but however they made it, it was deeeeeeeeeeeelish.

After drinking that and my soul returning to my body from hot pilates, (shoutout to @its.jasminemaria for letting me know I got work to do), babe and I treated ourselves to oysters and beer at La Lucha, which happens to be my fav place to eat legit anything they have on the menu.

Mid day - ramen by Fly by Jing, did not razzle dazzle it, just ate it plain.

Dinner - la Calle tacos after going to Off The Record for a lil dancy dance.

Sunday
Rounding out the week, we had breakfast at Brass Tacks, then a chicken sammy at the homey’s new spot, Boo’s Burgers. Minus the presence of vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin E, vitamin K, and folate, I think I had a solid week of eating. (insert upside down smiley face)

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Chef’s Notes (recipes)

Just Really Good Tacos. I didnt write anything down for these, so there isn’t an exact recipe, but if you check out my video on IG/TT/YT, you can follow it pretty easily. You can do this with one large saute pan, but it’ll go a lot quicker with two. (my handle is hilltophtx on all platforms)

Makes 6 tacos

• oil to fry

• 12 corn tortillas

• 1 pound already cooked protein of your choice (I used ground beef)

• shredded cheese (I used cheddar)

• toppings (lettuce, cilantro, salsa, onion)

• Parm cheese to sprinkle (totally optional)

1. Heat a bit of oil in each pan over medium heat. Drop a tortilla on top.

2. On one tortilla, add the protein and some cheese (keep in mind you have to close this tortilla).

3. On the other tortilla, sprinkle all over with cheese.

4. Once the protein and cheese is hot and melted, use a spatula to pick up the tortilla and place it on top of the cheesy tortilla. (you can start the next round in the now empty pan)

5. Use your spatula to close the tortilla so its now a taco, weighing it down if you have a press of some sort. If you dont, it’ll still work, just press it for a few seconds to make sure it stays closed. (the cheese will work as a glue)

6. Once it’s a nice color, flip that bad boy over and let the other side get some color.

7. Take the taco out of the pan (careful!), open it up and add toppings, then sprinkle both sides with grated Parm for some razzle dazzle.

Grilled Chicken Wings w/ Sour Cream Sauce

I adapted this recipe from Hailee Catalano, love her stuff on all socials. Fabulous, highly rec incorporating fennel into anything grilled!

Wings

• 1 T black peppercorns

• 1 tsp ground fennel seeds

• 2 tsp kosher salt

• Garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne pepper to your heart’s desire

• 1 tsp smoked paprika

• 1 lemon zested

• 3 pounds chicken wings

• Olive oil

Sauce

• ½ cup sour cream

• ¼ cup buttermilk

• Banana peppers, chopped

• 2 T of the juice

• 1 small clove of garlic, grated

• Fresh black pepper

• Kosher salt, to taste

1. Marinate the wings in all the ingredients. Hit em with the olive oil to coat.

2. Grill over indirect heat till the internal temp hits 165.

3. Same for the sauce, just combine all the ingredients and let it chill till you’re ready to eat! Sit down and appreciate your own greatness.

So yeah. Life’s messy, food’s good, and I’m just here trying to document both. Be kind to yourselves (and each other omg this world is a dumpster fire), and maybe eat a vegetable for me this week.

Thanks for hanging out in my corner of the internet,

Ashley

Life’s been moving swiftly and ya girl is tiyad, but I’m here, reporting live and direct with a story. If you’ve ever lost a package, this one’s for you.

Ok so boom, UPS. My wife ordered a surprise for me (Le Labo, Another 13). They don’t cover the label, which is wild. Anyway, delivery email says delivered, signed by “E.” We go to the package room to get it. Package room folks say nah, not delivered here, maybe they delivered it across the street, sometimes it happens. I’m like cool, & we call over there, they say nah, not here. Wifey calls UPS, they say we have to file a claim since it’s missing and Le Labo has to send us a new package. Womp.

I’m getting annoyed bc the signature says it’s here! We go back to my package room. They let US look to prove it’s not there. For the record, they have an awesome system, I never doubted them, they just wanted to make sure they didn’t overlook it so they let us look ourselves. Super annoyed now. I call UPS myself. Same lady answers and I explain everything. She says she talked to the delivery guy and he been working here for years, “I know him,” she says, and he doesn’t make mistakes. I tell her it’s impossible that my stuff was dropped off bc I asked my ppl to run the cameras and we watched and confirmed that no one from UPS has dropped anything off all day. She says again to file a claim with UPS online (girl WHAT). I said I want to launch an investigation bc somebody lying! She hangs up, consistent with me filing a claim.

My wife is now super sad bc she added some stuff to the gift and it was special, so now I’m like Super Sayan annoyed. God must’ve felt it bc yall why the same lady call back about five whole minutes later, talmbout the guy said his machine broke and he “found” the package. She apologized and said she’s going to suspend him for lying. Shit was here in 10 minutes. TRASH SERVICE & they prolly have a scheme!!

What is really going on why these folks were willing to lose their job over some Le Labo?! Granted it smells AMAZING but like damn bro. Why is everything that should be simple a full-time job?

This week’s brain dump:

• If men had periods, all period related items would be free.

• Parents need to parent their kids at home, and then teachers REINFORCE that behavior. Why am I teaching your kid basic manners?

• Why spend $18 on drinks at a fancy spot, when I can get em for $12 at the laid back neighborhood spot? Got me paying for juice. SIDE EYE.

• I’ve been a die hard Apple music girl since it came out but my wife hooked me up to her Spotify family plan and BAYBEE. Am I turning over a new leaf bc this hoe lit! (said in my best Texas voice)

• Back to periods, how cool would it be if women could get like, three period related days off? Could you imagine how much of a blessing that could be? Especially bc I get mine twice a month sometimes, UGH.

• I went thru a time where all I would drink was brown, then it was vodka, then it was Grand Marnier (tf), then back to brown, and now it’s bubbles, with the occasional tequila drink OR a Carajillo. Anyone else move in waves throughout your adult life?

• I stay waking up before my wife and when she opens those eyes, game on girl! I been waiting to talk to you for like 30 minutes!

Anyway, enough about lost packages and overpriced drinks, let’s get into the real reason y’all are here: what I ate this week.

Monday

Yall, I made shrimp fried rice because I had exactly five shrimp (why Ashley), some sad looking scallions, and one egg left in the fridge. Honestly? It went harder than the $20 takeout version. Sometimes the best stuff really happens on a whim, especially after a long day at work. After getting groceries for my students, I get home around 5:30 pm. From that point, it’s been a 12 hour work day and ya girl ain’t got much gas left.

Tuesday

My students have been learning about the four major stocks in class - chicken, seafood, veggie and beef. We use each stock to make a dish, and this week I demonstrated mushroom risotto with the veggie stock. So yeah, I may or may not have made an entire plate for myself for lunch.

Wednesday

My oh so talented chef friend Michelle put me to work again, this time in Houston tho. She was part of a supper club at ChopnBlok and I got to be her sous. I love that she keeps me in the game. My lil once a month time in an active kitchen gives me just enough of a taste so I remember how much I loved it and also that my knees and back not like they used to be. Good times tho, great food. Big ass beef dino ribs were smoky, fall-off-the-bone and shut the whole room up…legit everyone said it was their fav course.

Thursday

Obviously there is a pattern here. I teach Culinary so I get to eat daily whenever my babies cook. So yeah, another class is working on breakfast sammies, and they made croissants and English muffins. I may have eaten one or six. Lost count tbh.

Dinner took me out. Dominoes CUT THE CHECK BRO. Damn!

Friday

My seniors stepped up to the challenge and sold lunch at the district’s admin building. They made Chipotle but everything from scratch, and it was legitimately so good and fresh. We pretty much sold out and you would’ve never known it was their first time working in this foreign kitchen. Solid lunch.

For dinner, my wife and I went to a couple spots in the city, no Yukon (did you get it or nah). We hit Nobies first bc where else is the best bolognese in Houston, then Refuge for some cute drinks, and home for some bubbles.

Saturday

When I say the sleep HIT me, listen. I was down all day. I kept saying it was bc I needed a break (which indeed I did) but the week(s) caught up to me. At this point, I hadn’t had a day off in just about two weeks and I def wasn’t hydrating like I should have been, and THEN, my period said hey girlllllllllllllllllll. Wifey got us some Rice Box and I barely touched it.

Sunday

GIRD YOUR LOINS, I got a lil bit of my mojo back. You know how when you feel sick, you’re really tired and you kinda just sit in the sick? I’d done that all day Saturday and plus we ran outta tp so I forced myself to get up and we ran a couple errands. Somewhere in that timeframe, I found some energy and decided to make some Mediterranean chicken wraps (and yes I made the pita)…and it made me feel pretty good! Not to the point where I felt like myself, but def better than Saturday. Yall I was in the bed by 5, with a belly full of food and a back full of cramps.

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That sums it up for me. Today is Monday, and I vowed to hydrate and do right this week. After I make these tacos real quick. We gotta eat right?

Sidequest tho, it’s the one year anni of my father passing. I checked on my stepmom, said a prayer, and I know that even tho my dad and I didn’t always agree, I know he still got a watchful eye on me and is proud of who I am. Yeah.

Peacemaker is such a good show. And have yall heard John Cena talk about how to make a proper flat white? Quite lovely.

From UPS lies to croissant overload to my period showing up uninvited at day 17 instead of 21, this week proved again that life loves to make the simple stuff complicated. At least the food held me down.

Thanks for reading,

Ashley