everyone says the grass is greener where you water it, but lately i’ve been thinking that’s not always true

we grow up hearing that if we put enough effort into something, everything will work out

but what if it doesn’t?

i read somewhere this the other day “what if the soil is bad what if no matter how much you water it, it just won’t grow”

take friendships for instance. i kept giving, i kept checking in hoping we’d grow closer but after all this time, it still feels distant and it’s not because i didn’t care it’s just that the connection we have was never built for that kind of growth

and it’s not just friendships sometimes no matter how much you give, some things just stay the same and that doesn’t mean you did anything wrong it just means you were trying to grow something in the wrong place

and for a while i thought that i wasn’t doing enough

“maybe i should have reached out more”

“maybe i should have been more understanding

“maybe i should have tried harder”

but sometimes there isn’t a “more” you can do

sometimes you can care about someone deeply and still not have the kind of connection with them that you wanted

nobody tells you that sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to put the watering can down

to stop forcing

to stop chasing

to stop trying to turn something into what you wish it could be

because there’s a difference between giving up and accepting that something has reached its limit

and maybe letting go isn’t always about losing something

maybe sometimes it’s about making room

for people who meet you halfway

for friendships that don’t leave you questioning where you stand

for things that grow without you having to beg them to

and maybe that’s the part we forget

the grass isn’t always greener because you watered it more sometimes it’s greener because the soil was right

letting go even when it hurts is what gives you the space to find something that fits you better right where you are

i guess that’s the real art of letting go.

i got a message today, someone sent me a picture of a lassi kulhad saying, "this reminded me of you" and it made me smile right away

it wasn't anything big just a picture of a kulhad but somehow it made me feel seen, it made me feel known like someone took a small moment out of their day to think of me and then actually tell me about it and that's what made it so special right?

when you cross someone's mind and they actually do something about it

"this is so us"

"i was watching normal people and it reminded me of you"

"i was listening to joji and i thought of you, so i sent you the song"

"i read this book and immediately wanted you to read it too"

none of these things change the world but they change your day

because there's something so intimate about knowing that someone didn't just think of you, they paused, picked up their phone, took a picture, sent a message or made a call

they could've let the thought pass instead they let you be a part of it and i think that's what makes it so beautiful

it's not the kulhad, not the song, not the show, not the book

but the fact that for a tiny moment in the middle of an ordinary day, something in the world looked enough like you that they couldn't keep it to themselves

i think that's one of the purest ways to show love to someone

to keep finding them in places they've never been and to make sure they know you did.

it’s easy to think that if someone really cared, they would handle all of that but they can’t and we can’t either so when we say none of us are easy to be with, it’s not a complaint it’s just a reminder that every relationship is a choice and it’s a practice we have to keep showing up we have to keep being honest we have to admit when we’re hard to love and let someone love us anyway

because in that messiness, there’s a real chance for something true

i think about this every time something doesn’t work out with someone my first instinct is never maybe we just weren’t right for each other it’s always maybe i talked too much maybe i cared too much maybe i wasn’t enough maybe if i had been a little different they would’ve stayed

and im still learning not to take everything so personally just because someone couldn’t choose me doesn’t mean im hard to love maybe it just means they weren’t the right person to love me

maybe that’s the point

none of us are easy to be with and none of us were ever supposed to be

we’re just looking for someone who sees all the complicated parts and chooses to stay anyway.